The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Adam Ray

Episode Date: August 19, 2019

My #HoneyDew this week is Adam Ray! Adam shares stories about his parent's divorce and the strain it put on his relationship with his father and his family. Adam talks about being a kid and seeing his mom go on dates, and some of the dudes that rolled through his life, like the guy who wanted to do "basket shots" with him. Adam talks about his dad's new family and what is was like the night he witnessed the first time his mom kiss another man! This episode is as open, honest and sweet as it is funny! I really enjoyed sitting with Adam and learning a lot about why he is the man he is today. Subscribe, download & review! Sponsors: Go to http://expressvpn.com/HONEYDEW and find out how you can get 3 months free with a 1 year package. Hurry to http://upstart.com/honeydew to find HOW LOW your Upstart rate is. Try Hims for a month today for just $5 at http://forhims.com/HONEYDEW

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More on that later. Let's do the do. You're listening to The Honeydew y'all we're doing it over here at studio jeans at your mom's house i'm ryan sickler you can find me on all social media at ryan sickler i'm ryan sickler.com on the interwebs uh baltimore septemberth. I'm coming back to the famous. Tickets are still on sale. You better get them now because it's going to sell out. I don't know if I could do a second show this time. All right. And all of you, every week I say it and I want to let you know I'm sincere. I see the messages. I see the post. I see everything.

And I love you for it. Thank you for the support. Make sure you're subscribed to the Your Mom's House YouTube page. Make sure you engage with the sponsors. That's the best way to help the show. I get asked that a lot. What's the best thing I can do? So thank you for those of you who do that. And the website, thehoneydopodcast.com,

that's where you can find merch, social media links, all that. You go there, everything you need is there. You can email me there, all that good stuff. And if you're new to the show, what we do here is we highlight the lowlights. I say every week that these are the stories behind the storytellers. And this week, my storyteller, very excited to have him on. First time here on the Honeydew.

Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Ray. Welcome to the Honeydew, brother. Yeah, baby. Welcome to the Honeydew. Dewey. Did you say that? Youew, brother. Yeah, baby. Welcome to the honeydew. Dewey. You can say that. You can say it. No one has.

I like to be the first time. No one's dropped a Dewey. Dude, there used to be a kid in my high school. His name was Dwight Angle. And he was one of those. We called him Dewey because. No one called him right angle? We should have. Where were you 20 years ago he he had like a very do you remember officer Dewey from Scream I think it was David

Arquette yeah and uh he was kind of he just had some Dewey qualities to him but he uh he was this type of kid that he was running for president in senior of high school, and you're supposed to sign on the sheet basically that you abide or obliged to the high school code of conduct and all that. And he always was against the fighting the man in the system. Just a skinny, rat-tailed, fucking white kid from North Seattle. There's a video of him uh with his dad trying to teach him how to ride a bike and him falling into a ditch that i still am trying to submit to america's funny stone videos because literally to this day i have not laughed hard in my entire life and i i'll go on record saying that and if i had the footage to cut to right now

we wouldn't even continue the podcast literally his dad it's the first time he's teaching him how to ride a bike by himself and they're on this like dirt path and there's a ditch to the left and he's behind him and the dad's like come on come on he's chasing him with the camera come on Dwight you can do it come on and then finally he gets away on his own he goes yes yes oh yes yes and then all of a sudden he just starts wobbling he goes oh no and then he just shakes and he's about 30 feet away and he goes goes, and then he just. And it's not. I'm not saying he falls into a ditch that's like four feet deep. It's like he fell into a black hole, and his son's gone.

Right. And basically. He's Jessica down the well. The bike gods were just like, he wasn't ready. We're taking him until he's ready to go without a dude. It was. I mean, and you see him fall. You know, when you see someone fall, if it's a short distance and they hit the ground.

Falls are always funny, though. But like a deep, when you can tell this kid like dive bombs and off the bike, helmet flies off, rat tails waving in the air, almost like waving to his dad. Anyway. It's a real strong pitch for Dewey. Yeah. Yeah. So very Dewey. He was living his life in the Dewey fashion.

But so he signed instead of Dwight Angle, don't agree, DA, but still made it in a cursive. I don't agree. And I was supposed to be, and we had this whole plan because I was going to be his vice president and still ended up doing it, but just the guy who ended up winning because Dwight didn't run because they looked at it and they were like, does this say don't agree?

And he was like, hey, man, lie. Just be like, no, that's my name. And then just know inside your heart that you don't agree. But he goes, maybe it does. And they're like, you're not running. And he's like, damn it. So Jeremiah. Cancel the poster.

Cancel the poster, Ron. Back that campaign truck up. Oh, we didn't have a truck to begin with? Okay, cool. Oh, this is high school and no one has any sort of campaign funds? So Jeremiah Fulford Foster. Say that ten times fast. You get to be his running mate.

Say what? Jeremiah Fulford Foster. That's tough. Wins by default. And I was his vice president. J-double-F? Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.

We were both offensive linemen. Two Fs in offensive. How about that? Yeah. Look at this. He now works at Costco. I think he's like upper management. Climbed the ranks.

Two O's in Costco. Holy shit. upper management, climbed the ranks. 2-0s in Costco. Holy shit! Oh, dude. He was so not a... Didn't have anything politically compelling about him.

But he won, and he's a smart dude. But did he run against someone, or did he just get it because Dewey was out? He didn't win. Everyone kind of thought Dwight was going to win because, again, even in high school, and even now, man, it's a popularity contest. So it was Dwight against Jeremiah, but then Dwight was out and no one else stepped up

to run against him. So by default, he gets the win. Yeah. Win's a win. Yeah, win's a win, dude. And Jerry, he took it, man. And I told him, and I ended up being vice president, and I go, he took it, man. And I told him and I ended up being vice president. And I go,

Jerry, look, man, I go, I'm going to run the assemblies. I'm going to do the student council shit. I'm going to run the stuff. Cause like,

you know, you got, you're the brains. I'm the fun, you know, I just try to lay it out. And he was like, yeah,

I mean, you know, and he was kind of a pushover. Here's a great pushover example. He worked at Hollywood video in high school. Do you remember Hollywood? Yeah. Blockbuster adjacent. Right. Right. In my eyes eyes better but that's just because it was closer so it was more accessible two l's two o's yeah i mean a lot of the shit's going on here

right i'll do a video is where i saw my first set of uh tits without a bra it's um well he would get you the videos well no no i a mom came in that went. It was a mom that I saw. Just no, dude. Just walked in one day. I remember being in like freshman year maybe or maybe even eighth grade and just looking over and being like, how can I see those through the shirt right now? And just literally such a pervy eighth grader, like definitely went down aisles that I had no business being in. Yeah. Just to kind of like get a second glance and double down on the, definitely went down aisles that I had no business being in. Just to kind of, like, get a second glance and double down on the double Ds.

You know, I'm not going to say the name of the mom, but, like, man, it was crazy. And definitely, like, definitely probably tried to become better friends with that kid, too. Just as a way to, like, maybe get invited over for a sleepover. You guys got a pool? Yeah. Swimming a lot during the summer? Your mom doesn't swim naked, does she? I mean, your mom doesn't. She makes food when you guys eat, right?

Well, you're so horny as a boy in eighth, ninth grade that a one-piece will do it for you. You don't give a shit. Let alone mom nips. Yeah. Mom boobs. Mom boobs. There's got to be a band out there called Mom Boobs, right?

There should be. So he works at Hollywood Video. And I remember I rented this game, MLB 2001, senior year of high school. Just the most fun baseball game you could want to play. It was like, you know, they had other baseball games. But this one just, for whatever reason, the grab, it was so fun. My buddies and I would play it after school so much. And I had kept it for, I'd say, it was over a year now, right?

And Jerry, one day I walk in and he's just like, hey, man. And again, president, vice president, you know, we'd done an assembly that day. And so he's after school in there and I'm getting some videos and looking for my friend's mom's boobs. And I'm like, hey, man, going to get this. And he goes, I can't let you get this, Adam. And I go, why? He goes, you to get this. And he goes, I can't let you get this, Adam. And I go, why? He goes, you've had MLB 2001 for.

It's 2003. Dude, pretty much. Pretty much. I can't remember the exact duration of time that I had it. But it was way overdue. Like, if there were late fees, because Hollywood Video just there, it came a time where they're, yeah, I think they were both kind of,

you know, to stay competitive. We'll be like, Hey, now we don't do late fees, which I guess that was gonna happen at some point. But also like now you're not getting anything back. If you're just basically,

Hey, it's the honor system. We're giving it away. Yeah. So, so he goes, you got to bring it back, dude.

I go, Jeremy, that's not going to happen. And he goes, come on, man. Come on, man's me dude. I go, Jared, man, that's not going to happen. And he goes, come on, man. Come on, man's me. And I go, dude, it's really fun. And he goes, dude, a lot of these games are fun, man, but you rented it.

You got to bring it back. He goes, it's my ass on this one. And I'm like, dude, you know, it's not going to happen, Jared. I really like the game. And he goes, so do a lot of other people, which is why they come in asking for it. But I have to tell them that you have it. I go, you don't tell them it's me, dude. He goes, no, I'm not going to rat chair i really like the game and he goes so do a lot of other people which is why they come in asking for it but i have to tell him that you have it i go you don't tell him it's me dude he goes no i'm not going to rat you out i go and i'm not going to rat you out for being a good dude so let me keep the game for a couple more years couple more years never and then again speaking about his pushover uh qualities he just goes please and i And I go, nah.

And he goes, all right. And then he charges me for the – Listen, I'm in the bottom of the seventh, and I got a no-hitter going. It ain't happening today, Jerry. You know what I'm saying? I'm deep in the season, dude. I'm looking to make some trades. But, yeah, dude, that was – so we ran the assemblies together and everything, and it was super fun.

And then he did, to his credit, uh, gave like one of them, the most emotional, like, you know, the, the senior, uh,

the graduation basically. Right. And they show, uh, I think it's called cane Lada. I don't know if it is like that across the board, but you know, they play a senior slide show pictures and,

and it's emotional, man. Like you, I remember going to it. I was music on. Oh yeah. Yeah. Just pictures., just slow

cross-dissolving shots of this and then one of like this and then some hot girl eating spaghetti like, what? Where'd this thought come from? And you're like, I'm never gonna see that bitch again. Is that bitch in our grade? I don't know. She's not. She already graduated. They just put her picture up because her dad owns

the school. But he gave a really heartfelt speech, and I remember being really taken aback. Because there were times even during student council meetings where he'd be stumbling over his words, and I would just step up and just grab the mic and go, I'll take it from here, Jared. So I think what we're trying to do, look, pencil sharpeners, do they need to get upgraded? For sure. We're going to restructure Home Ec, okay? I got plans for the whole West Wing of this building.

I did, dude. But again, it was just like all a performance opportunity. Study Hall is going to be six credits. Yeah, dude. But anyway, I think he's killing it at Costco now, though. Good for him. Good forco now though so good for him good for jerry well uh good for you for being here thank you very much and before we get into this further please i want you to promote yourself yeah sorry i'm trying to make this about you

that's my problem though with you also when you're around just great uh chatters like yourself i mean you're truly one of the best it's like and i know you appreciate that too of any sort of deep cut story and those things i have never i mean i can't even remember the last time i've said jeremiah fulford foster i can understand why but you know what i'm saying so you even just saying or the dewey thing like that just man that set off you know i love i think our brains work like that too where it's like there's there's so many, you know, and I try to, I think probably partially bring those things up just to like challenge myself to be like, do I still remember how far back does my brain truly go? And do I still, does that memory go? Yeah, man. Cause you want to think that like you got all that stuff and that Hollywood video, uh, you know, chamber video chamber of time locked away somewhere

just waiting to be opened up. I definitely will bring it up to him if I ever see him. Hopefully he's watching. I know he's a fan of comedy. What's up, JAAF? I'm on Instagram and Twitter at Adam Ray Comedy. My website is adamraycomedy.com. All my tour dates are there.

Pretty full through the rest of the summer and then into the fall. My album is called Read the Room. It's on Spotify, Amazon, Google Play, iTunes. Actually, I just put out a full video. I did a three-camera shoot on the red of the album. You did it on the red? Yeah, at the Punchline in San Fran, one of my favorite clubs ever.

That's a great club. I'm glad they're working that out. Dude, I know. It was, this would have been probably the last, like, I mean, for sure album, but I just,

I love that room. It's so intimate and it's, San Francisco's such a cool, accepting city and comedy people. And I love, look, who doesn't,

we've both gotten to play like really cool, bigger venues, but like, I don't know, man, when it really comes down to but like i don't know man when you when it really comes down to it like you know two to three hundred is like real special man like that's just especially in in the punchline it's real everyone's right up on you yeah right on top and

you know ceiling yeah dude and you either are you get such an immediate like um response to whether or not you're connecting or not. And, and, um, anyway, so the full video now, uh, as of, um,

as of today is, is up on my YouTube channel, which is youtube.com slash Adam Ray 24. Cause I think I made the YouTube channel when I was 24 and I don't know how to change it. Um, but also King Griffey Jr's number was 24. So there you go.

So maybe, maybe people can, uh, you know, think that that's why well i appreciate you coming thanks for having me i on the podcast about last night with brad williams uh that's on itunes and everywhere spotify and uh and uh if you don't know who brad is check it out uh look under your table right now he could be there he had a great episode

here you dude he crushed it brad's another guy that's just got stories and chats for days. And a good yes-ander, you know? Like, we'll be in elevators, Brad and I. And if you don't know Brad, he's a little person. And I'm like, I always do this for some reason. I could just say it. But even times I'll be like, Brad. And I'll always

do that. And then sometimes I even I'm like, well, that's generous. Brad. And I go down lower. But we'll be in elevators just to fuck with people. And I'll look at him sometimes and be like, I'm so proud of you, son. And you see people just kind of like, look him down. And then he'll just smile and look up at me and go, I love you, Dad. Why do I have a full beard? You're mature. Your friends are jealous. People are just going to... Is that kid really seven why is he holding

the car keys um so yeah that's it man well i i've been wanting to have you on and i i you know i ask everybody to send some stuff ahead of time yeah you sent some great stuff but there was one thing i wanted to ask you about yeah because I saw this really, I thought it was just this beautiful post, I believe it was on Instagram, and it was so moving. It was about your dad. And just, you know, again, I don't know everybody's backstory, but for whatever reason, I've had you on the podcast, on the crafties and everything.

We just never really got into that. And I didn't know that you had that sort of estranged relationship with your dad so right um why don't you take us back to the beginning you're originally obviously from seattle yeah grew up in uh shoreline washington lake forest park is really where it is but shoreline i think has got a little bit more clout as far as like city wise uh but it's like 25 minutes north of the city and um grew up there and uh you know had a pretty you know normal i just start crying right now we're just had a pretty oh gosh and you know i had a couple friends uh you know jeremiah go tight on him go tight on him if he cries we get a slow zoom if i clear

my throat again. Holy shit. It always makes me laugh where those things hit you. Like, I had a pretty good. Oh, my. The timing was so. I had a pretty good. Cut away.

Cut to some clips of my friend's mom's boobs in the public. Public boobs. Cut to public boobs. Yeah, so folks were – I never remember hearing my folks fight or – it's so funny. I've now got a chance to look back at old VHS tapes of birthday parties that my mom and dad threw for my sister and I at six and seeing weird potato sack races in the backyard. And we had a little tree house.

And my dad, still a doctor, 75 um 75 i think right now just turned 75 was a big cardiovascular surgeon uh in downtown seattle and uh doing i mean open heart surgeries were his forte i mean just a crazy just and a great bedside just a killer doc and so uh i don't think i mean we definitely didn't have like you know a boat and shit like that but you said a killer doc i'm sitting hilarious that's the last thing i want it killer like uh let me get another cardiologist up at this moment no he just it's hand i coordinate like he just people loved him he's he um he just was great like highly as i got older and and learning just how like he respected he was in the medical field.

Did you, has there ever been a moment where you were with him or did he ever told you where he ran into someone who he's, life he saved? And they're like, oh my God, Dr. Ray. Oh yeah. For real? Oh yeah, dude. You witnessed that? No, he just told me. He just told me.

And even now he tells me he works at a VA clinic in Salem, Oregon, and just the amount of like – he just loves it, you know, which is why he just doesn't want to stop practicing. He truly just – He still has the patience and the eye-hand coordination. Yeah, man. Well, he's not doing surgery, so it's more – he's now, you know, his general practitioner, you would call it. But he's just got so much great experience and so, he's just so good with people.

And the way that he has just helped a lot of these, you know, vets and even non-vets. And some of the emails and texts they send him and stories that he'll tell me of them just, you know, coming back after he's gotten them, you know, on a more proper path. And it's cool. It fulfills him like none other. And you want that for your folks at this stage. You want them to be happy. And so him and my mom, I think they were married 20 years. I think my mom always said 10 of them were pretty good.

Then they got into it. Dad working late nights at the hospital. They start to fight. This and that. Then dad ends up meeting my now stepmom at the hospital. Things happen.

I think that was sex is what this this was pretty sure yeah and uh new family starts uh they also this was about at like eight or nine which i don't even think you certain things you don't even it's not like i'd seen an episode of tv where divorce happened or or infidelity or anything like that so you don't really know but do they sit down and have a conversation with you at all? So I remember, yeah, I think there were some signs too. Like my sister, a couple years older than me,

was always a little more in tune to what was happening, which is why it's taken her longer to kind of repatch things with my dad. I was a little more aloof, so I was kind of like, oh, we still get to see him when we just go to a different house? All right, we get two houses. Fucking life rules. You know, sandwiches in two different bedrooms. And so, but then once you get over to like your dad's new spot and it's, and once it's

all real and you're like, oh, there's my stepmom and her kid. And then you're like. So she had a child. Yeah, a child. And then they had two together which are now um you know half brothers but i just call them brothers because yeah they are yeah and it's like i spent a lot of time around them been there growing up years and and uh and we've kind of lived similar lives as far as going through a lot at a young age you know i mean you know we don't

even have enough time for me to dive into some of the true insanity of all that uh that kind of has transpired but um uh going to a different house and seeing my dad with a new family yeah that was when it kind of hit and then even seeing my mom starting to date is when it was all like oh wow this is like shit is different man and you get so accustomed as a kid to just being like, having my folks. And even if, you know, I don't, I mean, I always remember having a fine relationship with my dad growing up and taking me to all my sports and doing this. And mom always the true crusher, I think. But dad, I never felt like I didn't have a dad up until eight or nine. So was your sister the one that would come in and be like, know mom and dad are having problems and start telling you no she would just kind of cry and yell at them

i think for fighting and then just so they did start the fight toward the end there oh yeah yeah yeah and um and then they get divorced but do they do you remember them talking to you about how things are going to be different at all not really i just remember the the move and again i always do you mean your dad actually moving out? You remember that? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, that was the same kind of driveway. It was real crazy. But again, I think I've always had this glass-half-full approach to life. A, I think just because I don't know, I just

didn't let negativity really make its way in. But I think also by default, seeing at an early age even the way it was affecting my mom and my sis, I had a weird understanding of like, oh, I'm kind of a dude now. And then my grandpa even told me that at like nine. He's like, you're the man of the house know and i was like fucking that's a lot of pressure i'm trying to enjoy these fucking handy snacks can we fucking lower the bar can you come over and be the fucking man yeah you are a man how far away do you live you can drive grandpa get your beer like 10 minutes if shit goes down well they lived in oklahoma which my mom almost

moved us to because now she's just kind of like. Well, that's what I want to ask you. Did you stay in the house, the same house? No, we moved. And the house was cool, man. We had a big playroom and a backyard. That was really, that was the bummer, dude.

But we moved not too far away. And so I still was in the same school district and had my same buddies. But my mom had an opportunity to move us to Oklahoma. And she almost did to be closer to her folks they would help help financially too and um because my mom started doing the three four single mom job situation and trying to raise my sister and i and then my sister dad not that he just man just not associate all together yeah i mean it was we would go to his place every other weekend and again that's why i was like just seeing the new situation. And I just immediately, innately was like,

I'm going to just try to make the best of this. Again, still get to be around him, go to his house. And I just would see how awful my sister was kind of taking it and how she would kind of treat my stepmom and even my dad a little. And I was like, again, by default, I've got to be the one that's not having a problem with this. So I'd be like, oh, Renee, my stepmom, just like, Oh, it's so good to see, like, just so happy and peppy into my dad and just trying to get to know my new brother and just like be really, I mean, literally at like nine, just being like, everything's fucking this, dude, this is great. Like, you know, like things didn't work with my mom and dad, but like, it

wasn't like, but it works with you guys. Like this like this is this was it's supposed to happen like this you know like truly just thinking that way and uh and it didn't like eat at me to do that because i felt like i was helping and also it was easier and i think healthier to think like that because and i think that has that is very mature to even even if you're not believing it in your soul to think that way, to get you through something like that, I think is really wise. Yeah. I mean, it's definitely bled into who I am today. And I think it's a blessing and a curse because there's probably times that I, you know, have probably. And I don't even want to say like suppressed or buried a lot of all of that stuff because my mom did try to get me into counseling like shortly after. We heard it in the throat clear,

we heard it all in the throat clear. You heard it out of the gate clear. You were still in the gate pulling the horse. By the way, if we heard it in the throat clear, isn't some R and B ballad. It's about some guy. I heard it in your throat clear. I see it in your throat. Clear. I see it in your eyes.

The emotions getting heavy. I'm going to eat these fries. That's the music video. It's the person sitting across from the guy. And he's just like, if you're going to keep being crazy and bringing tears to this lunch, then I'm going to take your fry and probably skip next week's brunch. Yeah. So he, he, my dad was just, you know, not, he didn't like talk to me about it all and try to like

be like, Hey, this is what's happening. And this is, he just also was kind of like, I could also even get a sense from him that it was like, like even when he. So you were thrown in the deep end. It was you. He was trying to figure out what the fuck he was doing. You were trying to figure out what everything was going on. Oh yeah, dude.

I think even getting pregnant, getting pregnant caught him off guard. And I remember my mom telling me later in life that even him telling her that, because I would see them when he would drop us back off. Yeah, did they talk? Man, that was always. It's so funny how you can tap back into that, and I appreciate you making me do that. But it's.

There's a. Can we get Jeremiah Fulber Foster on the phone? I guess that will be 2001 on the screen? It'll just be his campaign poster while you cry behind it. I can see it in your eyes. I heard it in your throat, Cliff. Yeah. It's all packed in that little half a a second moment it's all packed in there

that crazy that is crazy dude oh all right so when they when you guys drop off and dude that that they cross paths at games and whatever they see yeah dude it's like their moment because they oh i mean it's so sad to even think about now. It was so contentious, and it's like, man, they've been together that long, and now they're not. You don't take that into consideration as a kid. Because you're only nine years. They're 20.

Yeah, dude. It didn't work. So you're just like, oh, cool. Again, you're trying to kind of make sense of what's happening and going to that therapy thing. And this guy had a mini basketball hoop in the corner, and he was a heavyset dude with a beard, and he'd sit behind the desk. And he was just like, my mom would drop me off.

She's like, you just need to try to do this. And I was like, I don't want to talk to some stranger about what's happening. I'm fine. Guy's got to be doing layup drills for Christ's sake. I don't know how that's helpful. Before I even open up from the heart, he's having me fucking triple threat and chest pass. This guy's not a real basketball coach.

And so I would, though, want to play. I wouldn't want to talk to him without shoot hoops. And then finally, I remember I walked in one day and I shot the little rubber ball or the little foam ball. And it bounced off the thing right to him in his chair. And he's caught it. And he goes, now, I'll let you keep shooting hoops if we talk about what's going on. I'll never forget that, dude. just was like like and then i remember and i sat down defiant and was just like nah man you're not getting in here you know i just i give them very you know generic answers

of just like that's the kind of shit i would say to priest for confession yes i've been speeding a little bit. It's uncomfortable. Even as a kid, you're just like, something normal about me opening up to this guy. I don't want to. Again, it was almost shining a light on it and making it seem more severe. If you were there by yourself, you'd be dropped off.

Yeah, because my sis just didn't want to go. But no parent would stay? No, my mom would be outside. But it was for the kid to... My mom was like i it's also like as a parent i think she's just like i mean you can attest you're just like i gotta do something here i mean yes so this is probably the move to but i was i was you too i was we had to go to a therapist as a kid too yeah it sucked yeah because you're like who the fuck is this person and i didn't want to talk about it because i again i i felt like I was dealing with it okay.

I was enjoying the fact that I had made a choice about just kind of being the rock, more or less, and not letting it get to me because, A, it was healthier for me, and, B, it was helping a little bit to be fun and upbeat. And there were other things that would get to me later, like the mom dating thing but anyway to speak to their exchange real quick like yeah they uh my dad would drop us off and sometimes they would chat a bit and you know i don't think my pops was really um you know financially was uh could come to the aid of my mom for you know child support and stuff and so that was was, you know, obviously an issue. And sometimes it'd be a short exchange.

And sometimes, remember, just straight up yelling. And that was crazy. Because, again, I'd never seen the fighting live. So I was just like, whoa, like this is. And I would just go inside because I just didn't want to see it. It was just like, whoa. It was like something you only heard about. Like they were fighting. something you only heard about. They were fighting.

Now you're seeing it. It's like you hear about the Playboy Mansion as a kid, and then you go and you're like, I did not expect there to be this many ex, you know, and then insert funny improv. But we can cut something. We'll cut something for you. Don't worry.

We'll cut something. I had something on the tip of my tongue, and I just didn't want to go with it. I didn't want to go with it. I was going to say extras from Angels in the Outfield, but it just didn't, you know. Because I think back in the day, anybody could go to the mansion, right? Yeah, right. If you knew, yeah. Adrian Brody was probably there before he was Adrian Brody.

Right. I see what you're saying. Yeah. So I would just go inside to avoid all that. But it truly didn't get to me again until seeing my mom start to date. Because then it's, again, then it was real. And how long after, how old are you when you're seeing that? I mean, dude, it was, I want to say maybe a couple years.

And again, my mom would tell me later in life as we would chat about this, which gave me a, it made me feel really good about the fact that I was so, you know, again, as by default, trying to just be upbeat and be there for my mom. And I would, again, seeing my sister start to have trouble at school and kind of get involved with some of the wrong crowds. I would, again, try to come home and clean the house and get everything, you know, dishes or whatever and do all my homework and just not be a problem child at all because my mom was going through all this. And then also my sister was starting to be a troublesome kid and be in a room a lot and not just sometimes disappear, excuse me, for a couple of days. And, uh, and so I just would try to be, uh, steady. And, and then when she started dating, you know, later in life in high school, I was all for it. Cause in high school, my mom and I'd be sitting there, just my mom and I, my sister went away to a girl school for a little bit and I'm jumping around, but I would see my mom and I, I'd be leaving for

a party on a Friday night in high school. mom be sitting there watching tv and I just was like all right I'm not going out I was like mom let's go see a movie let's hang out what are you watching and we just hang out because I like I just felt bad I was like I I can't uh you know and at this point too my mom and I had gotten to be more friends because as a kid and even in high school you don't see your parents as people you're're just like, you're, you know. And also, I'm like 16, 17, 18, like bouncing between being a man and needing my mom. So I'm like, can you wash my jerseys and make my lunch? Because I'm going to go in early for practice.

But then like, give me some space because I'm a man, you know. Like, I'm going to have chicks over maybe at some point if you let me with the door closed. It'll be all right, open, but whatever. And so I would not go out a lot towards the end of high school because i just i was just like man she doesn't deserve this and this sucks and i uh i don't and it was a lot more visible to me of like the emotional impact of her by herself i mean oh so just so sad and so when she met my stepdad finally i was gonna say good for your mom for going out because it couldn't no and she just needed to at some point i'm sure my grandparents even to watch your husband

of 20 years leave and then go start a new family right away by the way yeah right like they divorced and then they both did their thing and maybe they had already had this relationship at work think of any breakup you you know you you have your times where you're, I mean, at least for me, it's like, I remember in, in, uh, in all three of my kind of, uh, uh, situations that, that ended, it was, you know, texting and calling and even meeting back up and just, and, and trying to, cause you just, you, you let go, but you don't want to completely let go. And you're trying to transition into, you know, the end of it. So it's, and it's different for everybody, whether you go, uh, you know, cold Turkey and just cut it all off, which I think, you know, is probably the best way. But you know, in this day and age with, you know, all the social media looking at people's

shit, it's, um, I mean, Brent Morin's got great bits about it with his ex and just seeing, you know, like back in the day, I think he was talking about how, you know, with Instagram, like the way he'll look at pictures and see her with dudes and saw her with a dude. That would be the equivalent of going standing outside of her house and looking through the window. Who's that guy? And then yelling through the window, which is like liking it. You know what I'm saying? Brilliant.

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boy and uh and i and again trying to be nice kid yeah right like yeah yeah sure man like yeah and then you hate and i remember handing him the ball it was like out of a movie, like out of something like Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Ted Danson. Wasn't that Getting Even With Dad? Wasn't that the movie? I don't remember that one. There's a movie with JTT and I think Chevy Chase and Ted Danson where one of those guys is a stepdad and they go to camp.

I'm paraphrasing. If this isn't the fucking synopsis, somebody write that. Ted Danson, Chevy Chase, JTT. Mary, fuck, kill. And so I pass him the ball, and he grabs it, and he just goes, ah. And he spins it. I'm like, okay. And then he literally was like, and I was like, oh, God, no.

You just flung it up like that. There's no way this guy can be in my life post today. Right. If he's ever driving me to school or a game and trying to mix it up with other dads hey you guys also i was just shooting basket shots with my new son don't say that and then i remember it was so embarrassing i remember i told my mom i was like he shoots weird and she was like what and i was like you can't date this guy he shoots weird and and my mom again's like she's like i need like you know and and even just

trying to say something to her yeah i need i'm trying to this isn't easy for me either i'm trying to put myself back out there and then she dated this guy named uh harvey greenberg shout out to harvey i'll say his i'll say his full name because just harvey doesn't do it justice greenberg yeah you're like you uh so he so uh good guy let us watch the blue angels on his roof one summer i remember which was dope and was and was chill and had like a good vibe it was the first guy where i was like and he came up and give me a good handshake and didn't try to say anything again dennis with the fucking you know basket shots yeah the basket shots and the weird he was he was trying too hard which as a kid you don't have any sort of wherewithal to give him benefit of the doubt. You're just like, fuck you

for even trying. Because you're trying too hard and you're like, ease into this. But also I think it was the first guy, so I just wasn't on board with any choice. Harvey was alright. There's a guy named Richard who was a glassblower. And this guy, by the way, this is great. I've never gone through the lineage of my mom's dating past. Wait, what was Basket Shots? Do you remember what he did? Basket Shots was a...

Damn, I don't. But I do remember... This is so fucked up, dude. I called him Marshmallow Face. Why? That's a huge thing now. You were way ahead of your time, bro. There's a guy that wears a head.

He had a, and look, my mom is an attractive gal and fun. And I mean, putting, like she's always just, I, you know, even looking back and seeing old pictures, I'm like, she was a fucking catch. And she rules and she crushed it as a mom, probably crushed it as a wife. I know she's crushing it now. So at that point, I'm just like, oh, we truly are just jumping in without any, like, I think for the first couple of go-arounds, standards were not a concern.

And this guy, again, I think showed some interest, but he had a really fucking just puff. He looked like a marshmallow, and I remember calling him Marshmallow Face. I think that was one of the last times I saw him. You said it to him? Yeah. But that was before. That was before.

Here's why I even had the chutzpah to come at him verbally. He was the first guy I saw my mom kiss that wasn't my dad. And, dude, that. Where was it? In my bed. And so. Good night, everybody. I'm trying to sleep.

You're trying to sleep. Roll over, man. Scoot over. Come on, Marshmallow. Scoot over, man. You get my pillow all sticky. You threw a shitty bounce pass on the court. At least you could give me an alley-oop here.

At least what's-his-nuts could do basket shots, for Christ's sake. No, no, they were outside in the driveway where the basketball hoop was. Where were you? So talk about home court advantage. Talk about the away team getting a fucking. Yeah, getting a W. Getting a W. You don't come on our court, dude. That's the part of the fucking.

Whoa, dude. I'm going to pass out from how insane that is. Where were you? In my bedroom, dude. Looking out the window. Imagine this being, we're on the second floor of a house, and you look out the window, and you just, like, it truly is, again, out of a movie where the layout is just set up for

driveway was for tears to fall from that window not only tears but pop-tart crumbs again this is when i'm starting to eat my feelings and double fist pop-tarts and dip everything in cool whip if you if i could hold you with one hand you're going into some cool whip that was your rule if it was one hand that it was getting dipped and if you were able to be held in one and you and more than one of you came in a box there's a chance that that i was just you know a couple remember dips remember those granola bars dipped in chocolate i used to just fucking this and then just cross them up and you know. And so I had every Disney afternoon snack

and soccer practice halftime show in my mouth. And I'm chomping down and I remember he brought her home and dude it just, I was so man, it just was, it just got me so riled up. I was just so

I think this is when I was a didn't like him and B I go, Oh, it's cause I definitely held on for a long time in of hoping that my mom and dad would get back together. Oh yeah. And so, uh, yeah, I used to have like dreams about it and just, yeah, it was crazy. Yeah, it was really. So you went and confronted him after the kiss or another time? Like, did you run out of the house? No, so him dropping her off and then seeing them outside my window and just seeing them kiss.

Again, it was the first time I'd seen her even be affectionate with anybody that wasn't my dad. So it was just like devastating i mean i literally like zero to 60 in a heartbeat and just i mean window closed screaming and then uh and just saw i mean just like crying so hard dude and then and uh and then i would just go off on my mom. And then, like, why are you doing this to dad? Again, with this delusional thought that maybe they would patch things up,

even though he had clearly moved on. She's like, she doesn't smoke, but it's funny for the bit. But, you know, you think he's got another family. I think that's game, set, match. It's probably what she was thinking, you know? So I got to try something. Did you go downstairs and talk to your mom? Yeah.

Well, first of all, I yelled out the window and by the way, I, so yeah, so I'm probably think like second or third date when I see this again, first one just lost it and just, I don't even know what's going on, but also seeing them lock lips to me was like, oh, it's over. Like the chances of them getting back together. That's probably what really hit hard was like, oh, this is a wrap on on any sort of reconciliation. And so I remember on third or fourth date opening the window and getting up enough,

getting up enough courage to scream at him because I'd already starting to be show some disdain in our interactions and just be a little like, how are you? I'd be like, fine. You know, just that type of shit where he's just like, God damn it, man. All right, what do I got to do? I got to buy you a laptop? That's a good start.

And so I remember opening the window, and I know a handful of swear words at, what is this now, 10 maybe. So I literally remember a mouthful of pop tarts just being like you like a weird combo in no particular order of like you boner pussy bitch you you you asshole cocksucker tits like just saying everything and i remember i remember him pulling away from my mom and looking up being like, and seeing him say something to her, which I can only assume was, did your son just call me an asshole pussy tits?

A boner AIDS bitch? Where is he learning this vernacular? And so, and then again, yeah, I would just take it out of my mom. And, and, and so that didn't work out. Richard the glassblower was dope. She got a lot of cool free glass. Going to see him do that was insane. It was kind of a cool artsy thing, too, that I was like, all right, this guy's like weird.

So back then, the apps didn't exist. Where's your mom meeting these eclectic men? I think there's like Jewish singles things and then friends. Is that what it was? Blind dates, I think. Who knew the glassblower? Who was that connection? I think he was. I noticed. I think he's like Jewish singles things and then friends. Is that what it was? Blind dates, I think. Who knew the glassblower? Who was that connection? I think he was.

I noticed. I think he was Jewish. Okay. I'm telling you. He's magic with his mouth. I've been noticing how little glass you got in your house. I got a friend named Richard who could fill this place up and fill you up. That's not a euphemism.

Okay. Fill your heart up up not you fucking pervert he does have a collection of glass vaginas if you'd like a mold he can show you what he'd do to you first almost like a voodoo doll that guy's probably got a whole shelf of glass dildos these are all mine

he's probably got a blown glass voodoo doll of me that he stabs every time i get stomach pains or get the shits he's probably doing it because i ended that one quickly dude i literally that's a good point you gotta pull the plug after marshmallow face i gotten some confidence to take down the next opponent yeah it was like it was like your rookie year making it to the playoffs and you go back next year and you're like, oh, this is what I've got to do. This is what I've got to do to take down the Warriors. So I remember being at dinner

and Richard's sitting there and at one point I'm just doing this with my fork. Are you at a restaurant or your house? Oh, we're at home. So again, I feel comfortable. I'm like, my bedroom is two steps away, dude. If I really want to, I can say something and go there. What's he going to do? Burst into my bedroom? That's fucking... two steps away, dude. If I really want to, I can say something and go there. What's he going to do?

Burst into my bedroom? That's fucking, you're done, dude. If you do that, if you're not my dad and you just burst into my room, I'm sure mom's going to be like, okay, dude, you can't just go into kids' rooms. And so I'm doing this. And all of a sudden he's like, can you please stop? And I'm like, stop what? Isn't that insane, dude?

But again, stop what? What are you talking about? What are you talking about, Rich? Called him Rich? His name's Richard? Whoa, dude. You're not one of his glass-blowing comrades and you're calling him Rich? Listen, Dick.

Listen, Dick. Listen, Dick. You work with glass and your motherfucking windshield's cracked. I don't trust you. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my God. If I ever write a one-man show about all this, you're writing and producing the whole thing, dude.

Because that is so fucking funny. I would love to help you. You work with glass and your windshield's broke? If I said that as a kid, dude, he probably would just step up and go, this is getting better than that, and go i'm leaving i'm at you know what this kid's gonna outshine me in every aspect of this relationship i'm out he's probably got a bigger cock than me i'm out dude i saw the way he double-fizzed pop

darts i'm out so uh so he so that that was that shortly uh that ended shortly after that and then um and then uh and then she met this guy uh named uh howard and that one actually was cool for a while that one was he was a good dude he was cool he had almost like a sinatra rat pack vibe to him but it was cool and he didn't try to he was was just like, Adam. He was like, what's up, man? I'm like, yeah. And he just was cool, and he was nice, and I think, again, I had you know, like any sort of, it's not like I was the one dating,

but going through this, I was looking for something like, almost like as a casting director, you see a bunch of shitty actors, you're like, God, I want this next one to be the one. Can this guy be our air bud? Air bud! I don't know, I bud trying to think of a tough casting decision that would be yeah how many cocker spaniels can catch a frisbee and throw a split finger slider this one's got something right here so uh you're making me think now about just being like when I dated my stepson's mom, like I know he was the same way.

Like, you know, you're cool. He would tell her all the time. If you get somebody new, you better have somebody with a good laugh. You'd say shit like that. Wow. But when I first they hit the jackpot with you, by the way, they did. They really they did. I appreciate that.

And I can also speak to that going through it. It's like there and knowing you and just, you know. I can shoot baskets. Okay. Also, you don't call them basket shots. That's exactly right. That's what I mean. I couldn't even do it.

I couldn't even bring myself to say it wrong. Even if he had tried. Again, I would have appreciated him just being like, you got a wicked jumper. Like, just say the jargon, but he didn't even pretend. Working on that crossover. That's all you got to say. Walk away. Just walk away, dude.

And just start and even try. If you know that that's your shot, do a quick like, holy shit, is that Meryl Streep? I don't know if I was into a 10, but you know. What? The lead from Riverwild? And then fucking chuck it up. And then let me just hear the bounce and be like, oh, he, and then him just be like, oh

dude, I barely missed it, you know? And then just go inside. But the first night I got to hang out with him, I remember exactly like it was yesterday. Cause, uh, did you try hard? No, I, we were, she was like, all right, you want to come over? I'm like, yeah, I really want to meet the kid. And, um, I, she had brought him to work a while before so i had seen him but i didn't get to meet him or hang out with him and he was a sweet kid and he just loved he was just like me wore his

tighty white he's everywhere he's in his tighty white and i brought pizza dough and sauce and i was like we're all gonna make pizza wow dude and uh he's over there rolling the dough and stuff and i just i'm me and i just stepped and look at you making pizza in your underpants. He just fucking turned and looked at his mom. It was like, what the fuck? I started laughing, and that was it. He started laughing too? He did.

I did. That was it. He got jokes. He got all my stupid jokes. I would fuck with him all the time, and he loved it. Now we're super tight. Did you hear that, Dennis? A little bit of pizza dough.

That's all it is. And a couple of underpants jokes, and you and I could be hanging out post-podcast. Done. That truly is a— Put the glass down. When they say comedy is like a cure and just like an equalizer, dude, I mean, yeah. Like him, you and him getting on the same page like that and recognizing like,

that's just an icebreaker. And you, you get a, a gauge on each other's sensibilities in that moment. And like, but also for, you would be very good at that because you went through it the same way. You're still,

you're, I think so. You know how to talk to that kid. Well, I can play basketball too. You can definitely play basketball. Yeah. But you know how to talk to that. You know what to say to that kid. Well, I can play basketball, too. You can definitely play basketball. Yeah. But you know how to talk to that kid.

You know what to say to that kid. It's not like you're like, I never went through anything like this, and I don't really know what the fuck to say to you. Yeah. I know what's going on, dude. So, anyway, yes. So, Howard was the last one before my stepdad, I believe, and George, who's just the best. And they've been together for our-

Yeah. And they both always say, say too that it's just uh they're like again my mom uh dated for i think for 10 10 years maybe 11 before oh wow and uh and that's that that is their one regret and they they say it a good amount where they're just like wish we met earlier you know just to have a little bit more what was it about him that you did you know right away or were you like this one right here well real quick Howard uh saw that I was playing the clarinet my mom always wanted me to play the saxophone and she even sent me to a band camp where it was like they helped you it was like it was a cool camp but then there was it was music uh oriented and so you know you got to try other instruments and there was a cool chance to play the sax. And, you know, Woodwind family, so, you know, going from the clarinet to the sax.

I played the liquor stick. Yeah. So it's like not that crazy of a move up. But Howard bought me for the camp a saxophone to take with me. But it was like a used saxophone. I remember opening the case and it just smelled like somebody had just peed in it.

Like literally a homeless guy. Reed smells like cigarette smoke. Oh, sweaty Reed still attached. I remember I put it in my mouth, and I was like. He bought that shit at a yard sale on the way over. Yeah, dude. Or tried it out himself. Or let the guy who sold it to him be like.

Pissed at it. He's like, does it still sound good? He's like, let me show you. And then just spit on it and goes, give that to a 10-year-old. And so I remember opening it being like. Isn't it funny you can still remember how bad that thing smelled? How bad it smelled. Also, it's like a saxophone case isn't a small production.

No. It's a. And you open it. And whatever has been hiding in there is coming straight for your nostrils. And there was no way to diffuse that. I remember going to camp, even taking it into the bathroom to take my sacks out, and everyone was like, what is he doing to that sacks?

But I was like, I'm just trying to avoid the stench getting into our bunk, Damien. And so there was a kid who was in our camp named Damien who was just a real piece of work, and he always hogged the tire swing i remember that and uh you know would brag about getting bullseyes on in archery and it was like dude i'm i know that you didn't sign up for that activity there's no way that you hit the bullseye he's like yeah they just weren't there okay man this is who you are by the

way and this is gonna you're gonna be that guy you're the type of guy who's gonna complain about bad sushi on airplanes nobody wants to hear that you're gonna be that guy. You're the type of guy who's going to complain about bad sushi on airplanes. Nobody wants to hear that. You're going to be the guy who's like, you know who's got terrible California rules? Delta Airlines. Delta. You're like, cool, Damien. How'd that bullseye go, you fucking fake Robin Hood?

Delta's got the worst sushi. You know what I'm saying? Just doesn't get it. It's confused when Mariah Carey throws a first pitch into the ground. You know, like, oh, really? She hit that F sharp pretty well at the Grammys. She can't throw a slider. So Howard was cool.

The sacks thing I could get over. Then that doesn't work out. And then, again, getting ready to go to college. Got into USC. doesn't work out and then uh again getting ready to go to college gotten to usc uh skipped my nyu audition because our basketball team was one game away from going to the playoffs in high school basketball was my sport and i was an integral part of the team and you know set some three point records at high school and just was all about it you know and um that's why playing in the nba celeb game was just like literally yeah it was literally the you know like could have it was the best closest thing I'll ever get to being in the NBA just to be you know

to uh to have Ray Allen you know me post up Steve Smith and Ray Allen and me be like yo be like Ray to Ray you know and have him be like you know like at least I got that get you know shaken off by a hall of famer. And so I skipped that audition and got into SC, and I was going to go, and I had a lot of trepidations about it because, again, I was going to leave my mom, and she hadn't met anybody. And she was like, you've got to go away from school. You got into the acting school.

You've got to go there. We'll figure it out. Shit ton of loans. Got a little bit of financial aid and some single mom tugging at the heartstrings cash and uh and um and my grandparents helped uh for like one semester and look it is not what it is now like i look back it was a lot then yeah but like oh man i would it wouldn't i probably would not even go if it were now because it's just like quadrupled uh as far as like how much it costs for a semester

so i was like you gotta go and i was like man she's like what are you gonna regret not going you got in you went on the down there you auditioned thousands of kids each year for this bfa bfa acting program they're taking 15 of you you got in you're not gonna go and i was just like well you're gonna be by yourself and okay i don't want you to get back together with Richard or Marshmallow Face. Like what's, you know, what's going to happen, you know? And, uh, and, uh, and so I, I, I go and, uh, or I'm going to go and literally probably a month, a month before I, uh, I'm going to, uh, drive down there and, uh, and move in. She meets George, my stepdad, and, uh, he had just converted to Judaism. And so they met, I think, at Temple through a friend.

I think my mom's friend, Peggy Prince, Jew, was, was, was, had gone on a date with him and didn't work out. And she suggested, she's like, hey, this guy George is nice. He might be your, you know, mom wasn't really feeling it. He took her to the symphony the first night. He's like a real West Point grad, had a paper route since he was fucking seven, is still a financial advisor, you know, just retired from Morgan Stanley, numbers guy, started this amazing nonprofit called the Alexander Hamilton and Friends Association, which is now in its like 15th year where they self-funded it on his own.

And now it's this huge program still looking for investors and donors always, so fucking donate. But they give high-achieving high school kids, low-income, high-achieving, underprivileged high school kids, not just scholarships and being like, here's some cash, but they have this leadership week in Seattle. They do a leadership thing in New York.

They do a Guatemala service trip. I've been saying I would love to do that for so long because that was me. I did good in school. I had none of that shit, no parents, no anything. I would have been a candidate for this. You would have, and they would have accepted. And some of the kids that they don't even take, I read their stories of like,

I'm supporting my six brothers and my grandma living in a studio apartment. I have straight A's. I have two jobs. You're like, what the fuck, dude? And I'm complaining about spraining my ankle, falling out of an Uber. And these kids are just insane. And so he did all that and just real good to my mom and big on puns, you know, things like he came to SC and saw one of my plays senior year.

And there was like a rusty nail on my shitty little apartment that I live with three acting kids. And one of them sold weed and had two chinchillas that eventually ate each other. Boomer and Mama ate each other. What happened, Tori? Boomer ate Mama. Oh, fuck. For real?

I'm going to move out, yeah. Chinchillas. Never thought I would be around a chinchilla in my entire life, and these two. I didn't know they did that. Yeah, dude, they're vicious creatures, but they were sweet. I definitely got way too high one night, and one of them got out. Look, I'm an animal

person and by that i mean like dog and then yeah right yeah cats can go fuck themselves the amount of times look i kicked my sister's cat in i think seventh grade and i think word spread to the rest of the feline community don't fuck because the way that don't fuck with this guy because the way that friends cats look at me even stray cats that's how you know that fucking the message got passed down. Like, if you just walk through an alley or out of a fucking Baskin Robbins and see a cat just go, you're like, fucking, I know what you did to Marco in 1994, you know? Viva Marco! I saw that push off with your foot.

Oh, yeah yeah it was gentle Fuck that bullshit man You pushed hard You had shoes on You were wearing the Patrick Ewing Adidas Remember that shoe just said Ewing on the back I had that shoe Or it was Reebok

So anyway What was my point Dog, George. What the fuck was I talking about? Talking about how good of a duty he was. Good of a duty. Oh, the puns. Oh, he picks up a nail.

Chinchillas eat each other. Rusty nail. And he goes, good job. He goes, boy, it was a great show. He goes, you really nailed the part. Like that type of shit. Yeah. But he is a quick thinker, man.

And to his credit, like sometimes it took me a while to get to know his sensibility comedically. So he'd say something and I'd be like, I don't, was that the joke? I don't know. What the fuck are you talking about, dude? You and I are not on the same page. And then he took me to a Sonics game, RIP Sonics versus Lakers to ask me if he could marry my mom. Wow.

Fuck yeah. Yeah, dude, man. Cause he knew he just like, he saw. And again, I was at a time where I was so accepting of like, I'm about to leave for college. I need my mom to not be alone. And and so definitely I probably was going in like, again, wanting this, you know, let's let this be the air bud that can fucking shoot three pointers, you know, like I wanted him to be the guy. 20 years, this reference is going to make sense. But you'll see it on a podcast you'll see and so

i uh i i was like all right he's cool he's not trying too hard he did buy me a computer for college big time joking about to buy me a laptop he did that and i said no at first too and he did it anyway because i was just like no i go i appreciate it man i go you're i go you know and all this and they took me to the songs game and he's like adam sure so I go, I appreciate it, man. I go, you're, I go, you know, and all this. And they took me to the Sonics game, and he's like, Adam, so there's a reason I wanted you to come here and go to the game. And just, as you know, I really like your mom. She's just the best. And I just, I would, I'd love to, I want to ask you, you are the man of the house, you know, and I could get your mom's hand in marriage. And I just go, I don't think so, George.

Did you really? Yeah, as a joke, trying to be funny. And I just go, I don't think so, George. Did you really? Yeah, as a joke, trying to be funny. And he just goes, oh, okay. Game hadn't even started. Let me just, didn't really have a follow-up to that answer. Oh, say the... We got a long way to go. Sean can't throw it down.

Yeah, we can talk about your life later. She's selfish, trying to see if Deadly Shrimp still has what it takes. And so I go, no, dude, obviously. I go, that'd be amazing. I go, I'd love to have you as a stepdad. And he was like, how about a real dad? I was like, don't push it. You got one of those. I got one of those. So yeah, so then that worked out. And it's been great. And just, you know, dang, man, just to get leaving to go to school knowing that my mom, I just, you know, dang, man, just to get leaving to go to school

knowing that my mom, I mean, you know, I think. Yeah, what a relief. Yeah, what a relief. And I was able to jump in fully. And he's a good dude. She's not just dating. Yeah, man, and she was able to not have to work three, four jobs anymore. Still worked for a while.

And then slowly but surely, my mom always wanted to act. My grandpa always. She was so, again, my mom, just her and I, eighth grade through high school, my sister went to this all-girls school because just at one point she stole my mom's van, our space van, some Astro vans. In eighth grade? When I was in eighth grade. Oh, when you were in it.

And her and her boyfriend took all my money that I'd saved up for my bar mitzvah, which was probably a couple grand, all my clothes in my closet for her boyfriend, and they drove to Arizona because my dad was living there with his family at the time, and she just loved it. Oh, so he left Seattle. Yeah, there's so many pieces to this puzzle. But yeah, they went from Seattle to Arizona. He was trying to get his license back medically and did.

And then they went to Kwajalein and then Midway Island and then Lake Chelan. Where the hell is that? South Pacific. Yeah. Yeah, first time I drank was with these guys from the Philippines. Played basketball with them every day. Just got fucked up. And shout out to Norman if you're still on Midway Island.

You had a wicked crossover. But fucking, you know what happened in the post. And so, yeah. So then my mom just crushed it. fucking you know you know you know you know what happened in the post and um and so uh and so yeah so then my mom just crushed it helping out with plays and and everything watching my basketball just being there she was just like an eighth grade and through high school that is a very uh instrumental time as a kid and so again we became best friends and enemies at each other's throats needed each other but trying to figure it out me being frustrated probably that she was by herself and then around me so much and then just me trying to you know and her trying to play both roles and

I used to do the stupid joke was like she bought me condoms when I was 11 and I was like was it awkward yeah you know was it uh embarrassing like for sure um you know was I 10 you know almost I was nine you know but I was flattering because she believed in me and that's why I don't do that joke anymore if you could hear that silence in the room but again she was just so that's why I'm a mama's boy she just did everything do you want to make sure I still had everything

and working all these jobs to be able to have the opportunities to do everything and not feel we didn't need a lot and didn't have a shit ton but you know uh just to to be able to go to a movie with my buddies on the weekend and give me some cash for that you know stuff like that and not miss out um so during all this time your mom gets finally gets a good man and and during all this are you still in touch with your dad are you in contact are you visiting like what is that not because once he moves yes once he moves and then um man and then

i go visit him on the islands which is great and uh and did stand up for the very uh first time on midway island when he was the main dock out there and he was in the main dock on quadriline two which he loved and it was great dude living golf golf-karting to work, the beach. Gen was doing a lot of big stuff, but if something really insane went down, they'd fly people to the big island. By the way, middle of nowhere, Midway Island. Look it up. Literally, I remember us, the plane descending over water, and there's a little strip of island. Couldn't see it as we're going down, so we're getting lower and lower,

and I literally in the back of the plane go, can anybody see anything other than water? And we were just like turning around, and then if somebody expresses that concern, people are just like, you're right, I can always do, we're going to crash! You know, and it was terrifying. Even the pilot was like, you're right, I can't take it. The pilot got nervous. So we were going real low, and then finally all of a sudden we hit. I swear to God, dude, could not see the land.

It was such a minimal strip, and then we hit. And I was like, all right, maybe the water's just real hard, you know. And then we coasted in. But I did stand up. And I remember my dad, who doesn't drink a lot, got pretty drunk that night because i committed to doing an hour of stand-up i'd done maybe two open mics in seattle before i moved to la and i was like i'm a comic i did a couple frat parties before bands which was

awful because everyone's waiting for the band it starts 45 minutes late by the time you get up there and you're like well i rehearsed 30 minutes so i'm doing 30 minutes yeah do i have a 12 minute bid on charlie brown you goddamn right i hear all 12 you know all 12 minutes and probably They're like, well, I rehearsed 30 minutes, so I'm doing 30 minutes. Yeah, do I have a 12-minute bit on Charlie Brown? You're going to hear all 12 motherfuckers? All 12 minutes and probably an extra additional improv minute. And so I'd do 30, or no, an hour. And I'd say like three of those jokes were good, where it was like there were bike cops there,

and somebody gave somebody a ticket for not having a handlebar on their bike bike and i heard about that earlier in the day and i was just like like and the whole thing about how you know bored do you have to be on this bucking island and how little crime is really going on that a handlebar and do this whole act out of him going back to his you know uh boss you know trying to be all like you know this kid was driving around a handlebar that won't be happening anytime soon again. And it was like, dude, Jerry, nobody gives a shit, man. And then I had attended a birthday party for my, one of my brothers that day. And so I did a, probably a 15 minute bit on how awful all of the kids were at that birthday party. By the way, these are the kids of these people that are at the show. Cause it's maybe a thousand people live on

this island. So I'm just like, I don't know whose kid is daniel but that kid sucks and everyone's just quiet my dad was like i'm not gonna be on this island too much longer my kid is just chastising me out yeah dude because one kid i remember at my brother's birthday party literally picked up a can of sprite at one point and i'm standing like in the wall and like trying to lead some game i think it was you know pin the tail on the donkey or something, you know, one of those classics. And I look up and he was just like shaking a can of Sprite. I go, Daniel, what are you doing, man? He goes, this fucking chucks it at my head.

And I literally was like fucking like that. It's the wall and explodes. And I go, damn it, Daniel. And and I remember telling that story at the birthday party and being like, dude, hey, was swallowing ever an option? Where's Danny's mom? Yeah, where's Danny's mom? And, dude, it was weird. I bet that was weird.

Yeah, but so then, yeah, my dad and I, they went through him and moved around. He was trying to get his license back from some shit that went down, and here's when we really connected and uh i know we got to wrap up but when he really connected i was in college in my fraternity living in the fraternity at a party and he's they had to move they were living in like a one bedroom in arizona struggling for cash him and his family two three kids wife in a one bedroom in a. In Arizona, yeah. And you can hear it in your throat clear. I can hear it in your throat clear.

I can see it in your eyes. You're making this one sweet. I heard it in your throat clear. Can I have the rest of your fries? I'm going to eat the rest of those fries. So he was working a telemarketer job. He picked that up to make some extra cash. It's like 15, 16 hours a day selling magazines and calling and doing that.

And he would call me. He'd start calling me to vent and tell me these stories. And I started to recognize, again, just trying to be there and diffuse some of the severity of just that for him. And he started to reach out and be like, I'm proud of you. This and that. And just as I got to college and we just started to talk a little more and, and sports was always a great,

it was always had that talking about Seattle sports and we'd always just talk about, that was truly what our conversations consisted of for a long time. Just, do you see that? Do you see that now? And that was enough. And then,

and they started to be like, I'm proud of the school and taking an interest in other stuff, which he hadn't really ever like tell me about the play and without you know and really asking and so i was like all right cool and i don't think i ever needed more than that i just again was just like you know you understood you're like man this is what he is this is what he's going to be for me and mom is kind of crushing both parts so i don't need i i i was always like i'm lucky i got that. What am I going to be greedy? I need two fucking parents that are going to shower me with love.

I got one. That feels pretty good. You know? And, uh, and so, uh, he'd tell me these stories and I was just like, man, and these insane stories. And then he started crushing it and he was like winning all these awards for the telemarketing thing. And, and there was a lot of sadness to it.

He was definitely very depressed that he was doing that. You're doing open heart surgeries, and now you're like, do you guys want to subscribe to Sports Illustrated? I mean, that's fucking crazy, dude. And so I would listen. I would go like myself. Do you guys want to subscribe to Sports Illustrated? Do you have high cholesterol?

Listen, let's work some cash price out of it. I still got the skill. I don't got the license but I got the skill oh my god yeah he probably did combine both worlds and I would lock myself in my fraternity room at the party and just checked out of the party

two three hours on the phone with him just let him vent see the party just quiet that's when you started seeing him as a person not necessarily dad and we'd laugh and I'd go out of my way to like he also was a cool thing we're getting to know where you got your sense of humor from again like both of them are so funny and i and now at a point to where we joke around a lot and it's awesome i used to never do that with my mom

again in high school it was just like your mom like if she'd said something funny i was almost like embarrassed right so to be able to do that is just awesome. And he would almost tell me things to probably hope that I would find the funny in it for him. And then we'd laugh. And he'd always tell me, man, thanks for talking. I feel better. And I was like, cool. I love you, Dad.

I didn't need to dry hump that girl out there. Fuck you for those basket shots. He put that on you. Yeah, Dad. I didn't need to dry hump that girl out there. Fuck you for those basket shots. He put that on you. Yeah, yeah. So take me to the post that I saw. Wow, dude. Well done. Obviously, you reconnected.

That's a pretty solid amount of backstory to lead up to this picture. Yeah, it is. It's actually kind of perfect. This is the show, by the way. But you did reconnect in college. So then you started being more in touch there. And sis definitely just, again, being a little older, just had a lot more feelings to the whole situation. Absolutely. And also, again, as a default, I see that, and that definitely has bugged him. So I'm like, I'm

going to extra step it up and try to have a relationship. Good for you for doing that. Because I don't want him to, he shouldn't have to, people make mistakes, man. And there was a moment when I was in Arizona. Right, it wasn't like he was abusive to you or any of that shit. He just fucked up, man. And there was a moment where and you know, sometimes you need a little, you need something from somebody. Whether it's an acknowledgement of the past or something. But I never really required that. I just go. Or like a glass blown trinket. A glass blownblown...

He goes, I got this from Richard. He made it of you and I spooning in the bed opposite of Dennis and your mom. It's funny how all the worlds collided. It's a... It's a marshmallow head. Holding a saxophone.

Holding a wet used saxophone. A wet used saxophoneophone with the homeless guy who pissed in it. So, um, yeah, I would just want to have a relationship. But so I was at one of the islands where he lived at one point and he was, uh,

I was reading a bedtime story to one of my brothers and my dad's sitting there and my dad's doing it too. And then he read a story and they just stopped halfway through reading and just started crying and then he goes uh uh all right real moment and he goes uh he goes man he goes i'm sorry i never did this for you he goes and then he goes and they just pause and goes i'm sorry and i was like man all right cool like got it like that was that kind of was, you know, I didn't need you to kind of. Two words washed it all away.

Yeah, he just kind of, because he was doing this with his other son, and just kind of, because, yeah, I don't remember that ever happening, and I think he just, it just hit him, and he acknowledged it, and then I was, and it was just like, and you know, it was so, I was just like, yeah, it's all good.

Hey, it's fine. I didn't need, I didn't fucking, I still don't read books, you know. We had a shitty selection. What were you going to read me? The Chosen? You know, trying to, again, like make them feel good and diffuse it with humor. And, and so we had just a bunch of magazines, which I know that was your world. So, but no, not the shit on what you did, but I didn't want to read that shit, you know. And I think we had Paul a bunch of magazines, which I know that was your world. So, but no, not the shit on what you did,

but I didn't want to read that shit, you know? And, I think we had Paul Abdul's biography. I didn't, Hey man, straight up, you know,

I didn't want to read that shit. Let's take two steps forward and two steps back and fucking recognized it. And so, uh, so yeah. So then when he got to the post, he, uh,

he's been, you know, doctors are the worst patients. They never want to call attention to themselves and, and, yeah, so then when he got to the post, he's been, you know, doctors are the worst patients. They never want to call attention to themselves and get checked up or address things, but he is in tune with what's going on, and he's, you know, like I said, just turned 75 in this past fall. And I've helped them out a lot, too. I've been fortunate to do okay in the last couple years

and, you know, helped them out a a lot and my sister and her fam like with no and as as i mentioned off off air like it's created some tension between my sister and her family a little bit to where my brother-in-law and i who is the best but him and i got into it through text and his last text to me was bro i'll tell you I ever see you, and he's a tough guy, and rapper, construction guy, white, big, fucking tough, definitely bigger than me. He was like, if I ever see you, stay away from me. Otherwise, we'll find out if there is a man bone in that weak body, to which I texted, ah, there's that family man I was looking to talk to.

So things did not end on a high note but we're good now i think what you maybe what you could do is take you could take you could be his fucking more and g i mean his uh nate dog and you could hit you do his uh all his hooks yeah dude hurt it in your throat i'm dirty he's the man, dude. He's a good dude. It's, yeah, that's a whole, well, Dirtay, that'll be, that'll be part two of this program. But so, so my dad got this perforated diverticulitis, which is a, like, inflamed to the colon and insane stomach pains.

My stepmom rushed him to the hospital. She's like, your dad's in the ER. Like, he's not, he's in terrible pain. Couldn't stand up at work. I was trying to power through it. He, he's in the er like he's not he's in terrible pain couldn't stand up at work i was trying to power through it he he's on the phone me he just has to hang up because he's crying and he's just like in so much pain and man i'm just like oh shit something is bad he's and he's almost 75 so you're just like this is not the time for they they gotta do emergency surgery they do it he's out he's feeling okay i get on the next plane and go up to portland drive to salem uh canceled any shit i had and it's just like i gotta go sister and her family they just They do it. He's out. He's feeling okay. I get on the next plane and go up to Portland, drive to Salem,

cancel any shit I had, and it's just like I got to go. Sister and her family, they just don't have the means or the time to break away. And even my brothers who are attentive and a part of my – one of my brothers, when his kids helped, was instrumental in moving them from Washington and getting his mom, my stepmom, down there with him and finding them a place and gave him some cash to get things situated. And so I'm just like, my stepmom down there with him and finding them a place and gave him some cash to get things situated. And so I'm just like, I'm going up there. I think I'm the person who can do this. And the brothers don't got time either. So I go up there and stay in the hospital with him for three days. And man, he was shaken up and it was just so awful to see him

so physically weak, but also just aware of like oh man like being this is a never happened he's like my last surgery was getting my wisdom teeth out when i was like five i was like it was a pretty good run and uh you know 70 years and so he he was just very he was just real taken aback and and just started talking to me non-stop and again i'm just trying to be fun and positive it's like he's on the phone with the magazines i'm trying to just spin everything lightly and be attentive and sleep at the hospital and, and tell stories. And then he just starts going down memory lane and just telling stories and recounting things in a way to where it almost felt like he knew that this was, he wasn't going to get out of this or maybe not work again or something. And so he just got real introspective and just start opening up

about so many things, crying a lot, apologizing again. You know, I'm sorry. I had to see, you know, Dennis shoot like that, you know. But just sorry about everything I did with your mom. And he patched things up with my sis, which was weird. They had a crazy moment on the phone where they, like, he finally apologized to her, which was like, I mean, dude, it just. And she finally could, like, let go and be. it just, and she finally could like let go and be, cause she, man, held on to so much over the years, like seeing, it's just, again,

just seeing a lot more and, and, and then my mom real concerned. They don't talk and talk in a while, but they still are just, they asked me all, how's the other one doing? And if something's going on medically, I give them an update and even have asked my dad for things. And there was a point by the way, real quick when my dad was doing the magazines, my mom hit me up and she's like, I'm got these lawyers and I'm going to go after your dad for, you know, basically not getting child support for a long time.

And I go, mom, this is what's going on. And she's like, I don't want to lose Sports Illustrated right now, mom. It's the swimsuit issues coming up next month. Could you,

could you reconsider we got a good thing going here i've been tracking this next uh these next two months of who's on the cover it's it's a good one and i don't know if you know anything about the uh magazine stand prices but they're they're going we got a good thing going here that's so funny dude again that's a great part of the one-man show So I tell her that and she goes, well, I'm not an animal. Thank you for the info.

And just never did. Wow. Ever. And she, I mean, for your mom, man, she,

and her deserving of what she endured and made work. And like, yeah, that you should, you're, you deserve all of what you should have, you know, cashed in on didn't.

So she, um, calls me and goes, how's he doing? I go, great. And I go, put him on FaceTime. I put her on FaceTime and gave my dad the phone. Is this the first time they've talked? In a while, man. I'm going to say at least five years.

Okay. And they don't text. They don't like happy birthdays or whatever. They just hear about each other. And they don't text. They don't like happy birthdays or whatever. They just hear about each other. And I might have seen each other at one of my niece's birthday parties maybe in that maybe three to five years.

I've seen each other maybe. No, no, five years at least. And put him, and he's on FaceTime with her. And he just starts crying. And then she is kind of staying strong. And she starts starts crying. And then she is kind of staying strong. And she starts tearing up. And then they just, she kind of starts to make jokes and be like, oh, you know, you look good or whatever. Or like, you look, it looks like a good bed.

Or she makes some joke or, you know, are they feeding you well and this and that. And just trying to be in her, you know, pudding fashion. Just high spirits and just making light of everything and then my dad just uh starts again just kind of the real uh you know raw like i'm sorry and just wow he gave it to everybody yeah man and it was like oh it's just so and i'm just sitting there being like can i get one more grape jello? I'm going to be outside shooting baskets. Yeah, dude. I mean, basket shots. I still can't say it right.

I can't even do it. You can't even do it if you tried. And so it was crazy, man. And I, yeah, just watching them talk and, like. That's awesome. Again, not even, like, having that much time go by and moment to happen, and him apologize, and her take it in, and knowing some of the backstory of what my mom went through, and it was just, man, it was really intense.

And so, yeah, I wanted a screenshot of them just in that moment. I just wanted to remember that moment, and so I took that screenshot of her FaceTiming him, because it was just so powerful. It was powerful to read. A lot of people don't ever, first of all, a lot of people never do that. And even when they're ready to, a lot of people are dead and gone. You wait that long.

Sometimes you don't get the opportunity to say that to that person. Yeah, and Yeah, it was, uh, yeah. And I, I kept thinking about it and I got on that plane after I stayed a few more days and, and felt like he was, you know, on the mend and went back another time. And, uh, she was there for a little over a month and, um, and then set them up with some home care and whatnot. But, uh, I just kept thinking about it and it was so just over, you know, sometimes you just got to, you know, put, it's just, you're so overwhelmed with emotion and so many things, and I'm just like, I started texting it to a buddy of mine who knows my folks, and then he was just like, man, that was, he's like, this is like, this is incredible. you should post something about this. It's a really worthwhile situation for people to just hear about. And it's really raw for you. And I was like, yeah, but it's not funny. It's not what we're supposed to be doing.

And I did, and it got like, yeah, not. I mean, look, there's a video of my dwarf buddy Brad dunking a basketball that has way more views. Yeah. But it felt good to put it out and it was really cool to see people like unexpectedly be like this was beautiful like i fit and and it it was just cool to share something like that that was a while ago and i've remembered it and it's not even something you had brought to the table on this i yeah i said to nadav earlier like

i really want to ask him about that i don't know if he's comfortable talking about it yeah for sure man i mean and you i'm glad you all had that opportunity, too. It's fucking awesome. It takes a long time sometimes, doesn't it? Good God. And it's great that you asked me that and that we really went through so much. And that is one chapter in this whole story that built to that moment. But I think hopefully everyone got enough of an understanding of what that moment was and why it was so important to me because of everything that had happened and and so

uh because you know at the end of the day you just you want people despite of what's happened and happening like to get along and be at least cordial and not like my my folks need to be best friends but to be able to like you know see each other in that moment and and you know and again I think he probably thought something was not going to turn out favorable for him so he really felt extra a need to to say something but um it would have been great if he was just like and uh i'm glad uh i'm glad he uh he took my advice and called Dennis a pussy cocksucker tits bitch. Because I did say that once about you. So it's funny that he plagiarized my insults.

Well, brother, we got to get you out of here. Thank you, man. Thank you. Thank you so much. I love you. You're great. Will you one more time plug whatever you'd like, please? Yeah, I'll be crying in the parking lot in about 10 minutes.

So you can see me there. We've got a hoop out there for the basket shot. If you did and you got video of that and somehow Dennis was there. No, Adam Ray Comedy on Twitter and Instagram, adamraycomedy.com for my tour dates about last night, the podcast. Read the room, the album. Full video is now up on YouTube, which is youtube.com for my tour dates about last night the podcast read the room the album full videos now up on YouTube which is

YouTube.com slash AdamRay24 and Elway no Shira I'm the voice of the talking horse

Swift went on Shira that's on Netflix I think season 3 drops August 3rd you got a lot going on bro just trying man

dude you're crushing it the show's amazing this is a lot of fun it's a great you found a really great avenue that's very you and still all the comedy and and the uh and the storytelling but it's like you know it's it's uh important that like this part of you know because in my head i was like god i've got these stories but like i gotta make sure that we keep the funny in it you know because i don't think anybody wants to truly listen to just, you know, flatline.

But we open strong. Jeremiah Fulford Foster. By the way, look him up. Tweet at him. I'm sure he'll be for him. Well, thank you, brother. I appreciate you being here. I love you, Ryan.

I am Ryan Sickler on all social media. RyanSickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week.