The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Ali Siddiq - AliDew

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

My HoneyDew this week is comedian, Ali Siddiq! (The Domino Effect, Comedy Central) Ali Highlights the Lowlights of his drug dealing dad, his own time in prison, and what life is like now. Check out Ali's new special "The Domino Effect 2" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvofZaBh7wA&ab_channel=AliSiddiq SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour June 23 & 24: Tacoma, WA July 7 & 8: Appleton, WI SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Betterhelp -The HoneyDew is sponsored by BetterHelp, get 10% off your first month at https://www.Betterhelp.com/HONEYDEW Duer -Get 15% off your order at https://www.shopduer.com when you use promo code HONEYDEW

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We are over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Look, man, I want to thank you guys for your support of the special Lefty Son. It's over on my YouTube now. If you haven't watched it yet, watch it, share it, get it out there.

That's how these things grow. And look, if you've got to have more of this, then you've got to check out the Patreon. We had a huge new amount of subscribers from Two Bears coming over, especially after that double lung transplant story. So I'm telling you, it is the honeydew with y'all. And y'all got the wildest stories I've ever heard in my life. All right. If you're looking for a new podcast, check out an old podcast called The Crab Feast.

It's audio only. And there's a wild group out there still doing things. All right. I'm out on tour right now. June 23rd and 24th. You can catch me in Tacoma, Washington, July 7th and 8th, Appleton, Wisconsin. We're adding a bunch more dates. We'll have dates all the way through this year and into next year as well, coming up here very soon. But that's the biz. You guys know what we're doing over here. We highlight the low

lights. I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest on today for the first time here ever on The Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Ali Sadiq. Welcome to The Honeydew, Ali. Oh, thank you for having me. The Honeydew, which is a good melon. You like it. Yeah, which is good, especially when you get a good one. That's it. Yeah, when you get a good one, it's always sweet. Just like when you get a good cantaloupe. You know, you get a bad cantaloupe, you hate cantaloupe from that point on. But, you know, honeydew is a good melon. But it's not good often.

You know what I mean? It's like four weeks out of the year. You know what I mean? You got to get them. And that's the thing. That's why this whole show is named that. Everybody just eats around the honeydew in that fruit cup. And they leave the honeydew and

i'm leaving this diner one night after i did the same thing and i'm looking at the tables and they are littered with honeydew and i was like man that's a that's a perfectly good fruit that most people just throw to the side and then i was like man that's me in life i'm a perfectly good person that people keep throwing away and i was like i'm gonna lean into that shit and we'll highlight the bad times. Because everybody's Instagram is their ESPN, it's their sports center, top 10, their highlight. All of it's bullshit.

I'm paying people to do it now. I took that, thank you, Krista Stefano, I took that fucking Krista Stefano approach and I'm like, I'm getting the fuck off of this shit. Man, it's weird that that's what people do. Just all they good stuff, you know. I show a lot of bad stuff,

you know, because I box, so every, every sparring session don't go my way. It doesn't at all. Like some, some of them

just went, totally left. I thought I had it. No, not today. You did not have it? No, I did not have it. You know, sometimes I bite off more than I can chew because I'm I had it. No, not today. You did not have it? No, I did not have it.

You know, sometimes I bite off more than I can chew because I'm in a gym with pros. So every once in a while, a pro will look at me and say something. I'm like, what you looking at? Wally, what's up? Well, get your stuff then. And I'm in the ring. Last one was Todd Manuel. Yeah, I just watched Todd Manuel

fight Victor Ortiz you don't need to say anything else you don't need to say anything else it's just on pay-per-view $74 and I decided I'm going to try him Todd don't look like he got it today shoot Todd had

all of it for me he had everything I wanted. Yeah. Well, listen, before we get into anything else, please plug and promote everything. Your special, your social media, whatever it is you want. All of it. Oh, man. You can go on my social media.

It's AliSadiq.com or Ali Sadiq on Facebook, Ali Sadiq on Instagram, Ali Sadiq on everything. It's Pushin' YouTube, Ali Sadiq. I have, what, a couple specials up. Domino Effect, Domino Effect 2 is coming out June the 4th. Can I ask you about that? Yes. Because I like the idea of doing that. Just forget figuring out another name and just putting a 2 on the end of it.

You know what I mean? I like that. Is it a continuation of the first album? Is it like this artful thing where like here's a real part two or you're just like this is part two? It's a real sequel. All right. So the first one was 10 to 15.

This is 16 to 19. Okay. All right, I see. And it's called Domino Effect 2 Lost. It's like got a little under little under title like john wick yeah you know so yes it's a true sequel okay and and i i had a good time doing it it's the is it the one is special out right now yeah so um honey i'm about to say Domino Effect 2 is out now. Where? Where can they find it?

YouTube. Man, I'm staying pretty independent. The first one came out on YouTube. We continued our thing on YouTube for the fans. Domino Effect 3 may not be on YouTube, but we definitely getting ready to shoot it.

You can go back and watch. I think people are going to have to go watch one. Yeah. If you're a new fan or something like that, you're going to have to go watch one to catch up in two because it's an actual true sequel. You know, it's like you can't watch Rocky three and don't know what happened in the original one. Right.

Yeah. So I think we did a pretty good job with it. Congrats. Yeah, go watch that. Go watch it. Share it. That's how these things get around and are successful. Go tell everybody.

Yeah, so one is at like 8.3 million views. So we're hoping that two gets that you know spirals past that you know it's a it was a label of love and it's definitely different than any special i've ever seen and definitely anyone that i've ever done so when people get people make their own decision on it i'm not once i release it i'm i'm hands off i I don't care what people say or don't say about it. I did it. It's done now. There's nothing I can do.

He should have did this. Hey, it's done now. Yeah. And there's nobody that should have, would have, could have better than we can about ourselves. Nobody. Nobody. Because I actually have seven albums out that they can go listen to on Spotify, XM Radio, all that stuff. But I've recorded

maybe 14, 15 albums and something was wrong with one side. It just didn't sound right to me and I scrapped it. Like I still have it but it's

in the lost archives. So, you know, I'm a real hard critic on myself. Like I still have it, but it's in the lost archives. Yeah. So, you know, I'm a real hard critic on myself. Even when I'm watching a special, I only watch it in the editing to finish it. Because after that. I'm just judgmental of everything. Everything, man. The material.

Yeah. Why do I? Somebody didn't tell me that shirt didn't look right on me. You know what? Anything. Anything. So I'm going to just keep clearing my throat. Not just the material.

Yeah, it's not just the material. I'm going to just keep clearing my throat, huh? You just up there just. I didn't realize how many times I said, okay. I didn't realize how many times I hit one of those until I started watching myself back and I'm like I must have said nobody's saying anything about that I must have said that 70 times in 10 minutes so y'all just gonna

let me keep saying um yeah yeah um um I'm just full of ums this is bull like I've I've watched myself with such a critical eye that my agent was like, this is not going to end up coming out if you keep looking at it.

I said, yeah, pretty much. Because Domino Effect, the first one, I was, mm-mm. After my both tapes, I was like looking at it like, mm, nah. A plate failed. It's all time. Oh, something fell on mine, too, a plate fell. It's all true. Oh, something fell on mine, too, in the middle of the whole thing. And I'm like, now the continuity's off. You know what I mean?

Now the continuity. Show one, show two. Show one, show two. You can totally see it on the piano. But here's the other thing that unfortunately happened, but it was a little silver lining. I spent the month of January in the hospital. My lungs clotted. They told me I should die. I'm in there. I make it out. And during that, my specials with my buddy, Sam, who's editing it. And he has already edited some specials before where he

talked about working with Comedy Central and it's 12 execs giving notes. And he was like, I hate it. Because a lot of these people will just give a note that makes, like, if you say something, I'm going to say, I agree with Ali. And let's do this. And I just said something that doesn't make it better. It just makes a little difference so I can justify my bullshit job over here, right? So after I'm in the hospital, I'm laying there flat on my back and I'm talking to him about notes and shit. I'm clotted up and shit, tubes up my nose. And he goes, look, I just want to tell you. And I go, listen, I'm going to tell you something.

You're getting me at the right time. If you think I'm going to sit here and frame fuck this special right now, dude, I'm giving you an easiest nose pass you ever got in your life because it doesn't fucking matter it really doesn't in the end like we're older i'm 50 i don't know how old you are now how old are you 49 so we go back to a time when people respected framing and lighting and all these days shit's they don't care it's got 20 million views you know we care so um in the end though it really doesn't fucking matter but it matters to us you know i'm like god why why'd that picture have to fall comedy central i did a half hour special for comedy central and i i wasn't involved in the editing process came out pretty good.

I did the full hour special for Comedy Central, and I was involved in the editing process. And having to keep going back on emails, and they wasn't understanding. So I had to fly to New York to get them to understand one thing that I was trying to make clear you can't move this down that far because now it makes everything else doesn't make sense so they was like I wrote it and performed it a certain way for a reason yeah and it's not to be

chopped up and butchered to make fit into your 21 and a half. No, sorry, it was an hour. So that would have been like 44 and a half minute cut. Yeah, 44 and a half minutes cut. So it was eight seconds that I told them that they had to put back. And so now we all watching it. And everybody turns around like, oh, it's so much better. I told y'all that in the notes. Because I know what it said. I know what it's so much better I told y'all that in the notes like because I know what it said I know what it's supposed to say and if you take that eight seconds out the rest of this doesn't make sense like at all yeah because I'm telling the story in chronological order I'm not I'm not skipping

around you can't move my stuff like that so when when you independent, you can, you have a lot more control of how it goes. And then he can, you can make it a thing. I'm done listening to notes from other people about my shit. Okay. Whenever I haven't listened to notes from other people about my shit, it's been successful.

I didn't listen to one note. Any motherfucking executive had to say about this successful, my Patreon, which is only $5 a month subscribe now successful you know what i mean the minute you start listening to all these other people and they're not even making it better i'm saying it's just going in circles like we i told you all this from the beginning 14 emails a trip across the fucking halfway across the country to New York hotels. All this bullshit just for you guys to go, oh, yeah, you were right. No shit. Because it's my material. You know, when it's your life and you're talking about your life,

domino effect, you know, every story I've ever told on whatever platform has been a true story from my life. One of the best stories that most people know is Mexican God on Boots. Well, that's obviously, I was telling you, that's where I learned about you. But then I was fortunate enough to sit with you for your Epic special, and I interviewed you.

You were one of the comics I got to interview, so I got to know you better. I remember telling you, I really want you on this podcast, but you live down in Texas, right? Yeah, Houston. Yeah. podcast but you live down in Texas right yeah yeah so um when it when that happened epics was a great hour like and I did it you did it the mint right where I was at the minute and I was getting ready to record my my special and it was like is he gonna do two different hours? And Eric Abrams was like, yeah.

Like, he always does. It was hard. Because even when I did the Comedy Central special, I got it the first time. So then the second time, Eric told me to go out and have some fun. So I just did a bunch of different material for the second taping. He was like, oh, so you just didn't want to do no part of the hour. No, you said I did.

I got it. The first time. Yeah. If I nailed it, why I got to do something? I want to do some other stuff. But, you know, with the networks, man,

I don't know if they know. I just don't. I'll tell you why they don't know. Here's another thing I'm going to say. We're still here. Comedy Central's gone. I'm saying this is supposed to be the central place for comedy. They're all but gone.

Here we still are. I haven't listened to a fucking note from any of them. All right? Here I still am. Here I am. I don't know how long it'll last, but I'm still here. I'm still throwing uppercuts and elbows right the whole way down and and doing it on your own too there's something there's

not only do you have the creative control but there is a more of a satisfaction so another friend of mine i'll just make it that um again editing a special for Comedy Central, and it's 12 execs weighing in with bullshit notes. And he's like, I'm telling you, they're not watching it. They're not watching it. I know they're not. So he sends another cut in. He doesn't tell the comedian. I'll tell you off, Mike, who it was because you'll know.

He doesn't tell the comedian he does this, sends it off. And what he does is just takes a random frame, a kitty cat or some shit, off of YouTube and just throws it in the middle like an Easter egg, a frozen frame, so that anyone watching it would say, hey, that weird YouTube thing in there, can you make sure that's out of there? Guess how many executives noted that? Probably none. None.

None. And it was only about 20 minutes in it wasn't 45 minutes in so it's all you know i'm saying like they don't care about and they can't they don't care about what we care about the way we care about it they don't they don't and i think net they're the same netflix told me that my special was too long he's like so get me too people are not people are not paying attention this long well on youtube if they watch it you got to watch it in order to get the view they like people eight million people watched it they wasn't skipping through. They didn't say, oh, at seven minutes, I'm done with it.

They like the comments. People know about the stories in the middle. Like you were saying with the cat. They know about the end story. They know about all the parts of it. So I'm always confused about what they say. It's not law. I don't even listen.

Like I don't even listen anymore like the new special is an hour and 30 it is what it is it took me that long to do the show that's how long the show is and i have other aspirations for the show after people watch it i have another thing that i think i want to do with it but in when you're telling your life story, you're telling stories about yourself, who is it for somebody else to say what is relevant in it? Or it's too long. I'm still alive. I'm still alive.

It ain't done yet. You know what I mean? It's too long. There's no more. I'm dead. It's weird you know and so can we talk a little bit about your life story then let's go back to the beginning where are you from houston yeah i'm a houston guy okay i've lived a lot of places i just you know settled my hat in houston my mom you know my pops they moved around. But Houston is the place where we settled in. Neither one of them are from Houston.

What did they do for a living? My mom is, right now, she's a history professor. She used to work for this computer company called Ferranti. You know, she used to build mainframe computers. Whoa. Your mom used to build computers back in the old-ass computers? Yeah, the old computers. Wow.

The fiber optic. What got her into that? My mom's a real technical person. Like, really. Was she, like, taking shit apart when she was a kid all the time? I don't know that part of it. You know what I mean? Like, this toaster oven ain't going to work again.

Yeah, probably so. But she's real technical. And she has that. I'm technical as well, but not like her. She has that laser focus where she can put little small things together. And my older sister is just like that as well. But she used to be a nurse. My mom used to be a lot of things. I don't even know how my mom and my dad met.

They was in Job Corps. And I was like, what the hell were y'all doing in Job Corps? What is Job Corps? What exactly? It's like when you young and you go work, it's like you military slash just volunteer.

They going overseas, helping people and stuff. They wasn't even overseas. They was in town. Down the street. My dad, like, what were y'all doing in Job Corps? They wasn't even overseas. They was in town. Down the street. My dad, like, what was y'all doing in Job Corps? Like, what people? Old nonsense.

They was young. They was young. What did your dad do? My dad used to own a carrier service, and then he sold cocaine. Wait, so he was a delivery service that naturally transitioned to the he found the money delivery delivery you know delivery is a delivery wait all right so hold on let me ask you this then was he was he clean and and working above the belt so to speak and then figured like white collar yeah and then saw the opportunity for the money and was like, fuck it, I think we can do this.

I think that it was like, when my pops was selling cocaine, it was like powder, and you came in these little vials, you know, that's where they dump them out and snort. I think because he was working for a lot of attorneys, and this is probably where he got the idea from. And they were doing,

yeah, the guys that have the money yeah yeah they was doing back then cocaine was a a very upper echelon type of drug you know it wasn't no crack it was yeah it was powdered cocaine like give me a couple grams and they snorting so that's why and a lot of my dad friends had these long pinky nails but they get in the joint, toot real quick. It was a trip, man. You would see that? How old are you when you're starting to put this together? 10, 11.

Okay. Were you told or when did you? My pops sold it, and so I would come down at night. In the house? I remember my pops, because in one, people remember that my pop put cocaine on my tooth when I was 10. Did he? On my wisdom teeth. Because my gums were swollen.

He was like, come here. And he used to keep it in this Cool Whip bowl in the refrigerator. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, he was like a big, cool... Your dad had cocaine in a Cool Whip container in the fridge where anyone could get it? You know, just in the fridge. Can you imagine I paying attention and just scooping that shit out? If I would have ever wanted like a, what's that cake?

Strawberry shortcake. If I would have wanted to make a strawberry shortcake, the kids would have been tore up at school. I would have put the powder over it like it was powdered yeah it was weird it was strawberry coke cake it was in the refrigerator it's in a in a cool whip is it better to keep it cold i really don't know about the temperature of cocaine that's one thing i've never thought about i always thought it was room temp i i think he was just just one of his moves like if the cops bust in you know they wouldn't go in the right open up the cool whip container oh it's in the cool whip yeah but all the all the little brown like it was a bag of these little brown vials and they were different sizes but all of them had black caps and

he we i would see him with his little spoon him and his friend ivory Ivory and James, they would be putting it in there. And it was never in a baggie. When I used to see, later on I used to see people with bags. Yeah, those little nickel and dime bags. He had pills in those bags. He used to sell pills too. And I'll never forget those bags because they had a red, when they closed the top it was red. And I used to think the bags was cool, but cocaine never came in that.

It came in the vial. Now, did he know you were watching this? Is this all you quietly at night? Just me seeing him. Putting it together. Yeah, my pops was real. He tried to be discreet, but I'm in the house like all the time. But then I end up up he had to go somewhere

then he told me how to sell it with the like the pills he's like yo people gonna be coming to this door wait you told me okay tell me tell this story right here this is crazy i remember you tell me about this hey man kids are getting ready to go to san antonio he came and woke me up how old are you i'm like 10 and he's leaving yeah he's leaving you? I'm like 10. He's leaving. Yeah, he's leaving. I'm like, where am I supposed to go? He's like, man, go to school. You've been going to school.

You're 10 years old by yourself in a house. Mom's not there. Sister's not there. I just live with him because I was living with my mom at first, my mom and my sister. So then when he asked who wanted to live with him, I'm like, me. And worst decision I ever made in my life. 1983. I had no idea that this was a crazy man I was living with. Like, I volunteered to live with a crazy man.

But he's leaving a 10-year-old, not just in the morning, in the middle of the night. In the middle of the night. He's going to go to San Antonio. I'm like, what? But if I think about it, he wouldn't be up in the morning when I got ready to go to san antonio i'm like what and but if i think about it he wouldn't be up in the morning when i got ready to go to school anyway he would leave my my lunch money on the on the desk i would you know go to school i walked down the street to school i would come back he wouldn't be there

so in his mind like i'm not here no way so he just man i'm going out of town just keep doing what you're doing the problem is that you know that i'm going out of town just keep doing what you're doing right and like but he was a great man my dad was the craziest man that i ever known in my life tell me even when before he died i um i settled all his debt like he had some stuff like i hate man like payday loans like That's old school shit. They're still around? Yeah, man. Payday loans, it's like they're going to forever be around because it's not designed

for you to pay it off. Good point. In their mind, as soon as you borrow $100 from a payday person, a payday loan people, if you don't get that money back to them in the next 15 minutes, you owe them people $3,700. 15 minutes. You got 15 minutes't get that money back to them in the next 15 minutes, you owe them people $3,700. 15 minutes.

You got 15 minutes to get that money back to them. It's insane. Like, how much I owe you? Like, I borrowed $100. Why is it $3,700? Man, with taxes and fees and handling and, you know. So my dad owed all this money to like three different payday loan people. And I just paid it off because I didn't want him to be in debt.

And then a year later, my pops died. I'm like, I should have waited. Yeah, one more year. I should have waited. One more year. He going to get happy and then die. It's crazy. But he died right before my special came out.

He did. Yeah. So he used to go to the library and watch all my stuff on on the computer in the library like a youtube yeah he would go and and be quoting all my stuff when i call him you know he's a good dude you know he wasn't tell me about the selling the drugs out the back door though he's leaving to go to san antonio and he's telling you what not just go to school not just go to San Antonio, and he's telling you what? Not just go to school. Not just go to school because there's a business to be run here. He told me, hey, listen, people are going to be coming up to this door.

When they knock on the door, keep the chain on the door. Go upstairs, get the pills. It's $15. You know what I'm saying? Get the money first, and then give them the pills. But don't open the door always. Keep the chain on the door. So

all night I'm thinking maybe one or two people would come by. My room was upstairs. I just happened to just keep, I just had to come downstairs and sleep on the couch because it was so many people. It was like

all night these people come. It's like as soon as 12 o'clock, as soon as he left, as soon as 12 o'clock, he's like 12, 15. It was on from 12, 15 till I got ready to go to school. Just getting up and doing that. And I'm in class. So when I get home,

he's at the house. And he's sitting there on the couch. He said, man, come come here why am I getting phone calls from the school talking about you sleeping in the class I was like yo man

I've been up all night all night I'm selling these pills have you looked in the little box upstairs he going to talk about it was popping like that I was like

he was excited it's been it's been two times that my daddy has said the craziest when i got busted for selling cocaine right he knew that i was so he gonna come in he gonna come to the prison where i was at 1301 franklin i'm still in the county jail he gonna come they all recognize he gonna talk about in visitation he gonna say man what the hell and got into you i say man what are you talking about this is i'm you i am literally you and man because he had my little brother with him and he was like this and he was trying to hold had my little brother with him, and he was trying to hold face with my little brother. And this dude is crazy, man. He's the craziest person. Did he ever get busted?

My dad never went to jail until I was already in prison for like maybe three years. Were you guys in prison together? Yeah. No way. It was my pops, my two uncles with his two brothers, and me, we were all in prison. My daddy got locked up for an assault. He got in a street fight. At how old?

How old was he getting in street fights? My dad was maybe, so if I was 23, maybe 23 24 so my dad had to be like 40 something like 40 maybe about 45 he gets locked up and gets put in the same prison you're in no not in the same prison he's in the same system okay that's what I meant I mean

were you literally there where you could see each other no we was all at the same time we were just all in TDC at the same time but I'll never forget it because i remember getting um five hundred dollars either five hundred or i think it was five hundred five hundred dollars put on my books out of nowhere because he he when he got arrested he had money on him so the money that he had on him they put y'all they put on your books so he transferred five hundred dollars to me his brother and his other brother and then wrote a letter to him yeah i just sent y'all some money the big boss down here now. I'm like, this is the craziest person I know.

This is the craziest person I know. Did you send me a letter talking about the big boss? The big boss is in here now. And what was terrible, my grandmother, I wouldn't let my grandmother come and visit me. This is his mom? Yeah, it's his mom. I wouldn't let my grandmother come and visit me. This is his mom? Yeah, it's his mom. I wouldn't let my grandmother come visit me. It just seemed like she had been doing that for so long.

My uncles had been in prison, in and out of prison for a while. My dad had never even been in trouble ever. My dad was a businessman. He had never been in trouble ever. That was new for him. How'd you fuck up if I did this for all these years? How'd you get arrested? I talk about it in the special.

It's in the special. Yeah, it's in the special. All right. A lot of carelessness on other people's part, not listening to me. I feel like there was something you said to me, and this is because I don't want to dwell on prison but you said to me um you have to i feel like this was when i met you people don't realize that you have to learn how to sell drugs like you're not good at it at first i think you told the story about this yeah that's in domino effect yeah the first one yeah i wasn't i wasn't a good drug it don't it's a good point you're not good at most things we're

not good at when we start and then you learn to be good. So it would make sense mathematically that as I'm starting out being a drug dealer, I'm going to mess up a lot. I'm going to rob. I'm going to make mistakes until I learn not to get screwed over. I'm going to get robbed. It's all sorts of things that's going to happen to you. And I think that people get into that life because it's so much fictitious nonsense about that type of life

that, oh, I started and I was already in the months I was doing this. Like, bull, bull, bull. It doesn't go like that. You don't even start with the amount that you say that you started with. Everybody start with a 50-pack.

You know what I'm saying? And then you go from there. You got it. Of what? What is the first thing you started with. Everybody start with a 50-pack. And then you go from there. Of what? What is the first thing you start with? Coke? Before weed or before pills? Like, if you sell cocaine, you probably never sold weed.

Is that right? Yeah, I never sold marijuana. No. Like, ever. Just Coke and pills? Just Coke. I never sold a pill. The pills, that was something with my dad. Just for your dad.

That was my dad thing. When I started, it was cocaine. It was no other drug that was prevalent during that time. It's the 80s. How old are your kids right now? Which ones? Oh, I have a lot of kids. Yeah, it's a lot.

Ages range what to what? 29 to 2. Okay, so you got a baby. I got a big family. As a person who literally worked with cocaine back then and what it is now with fentanyl and everything, are you already having talks with them about you can't even do this stuff anymore? It's not.

I know we sound like old man being like, it ain't like it used to be, but it really isn't like it used to be now. Yeah, it's really not. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Look, there's this stigma about mental health that, you know, especially for guys, that it's not okay. It's not cool to go to therapy, all that stuff. And then you end up spending all this time, if you really look at it, helping other people. And how much of it do you really spend on yourself?

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Man, I'm looking forward to this summer. I'm going to go on a little bit of vacation, probably take my daughter to the beach, hang out with family, have some friends over, cook out. I want to make sure I'm staying cool, looking good. So you know I'm going to be wearing my Dewar pants. Dewar makes the world's most comfortable pants. They're breathable, lightweight, durable, and never go out of style. I got a pair, they sent me a pair of jeans. And I'm going to be honest with you, they're most flexible, relaxing jeans. I wear them on stage. I like it. I can move in them. They're not tight. Don't squeeze me up. And I

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You know, they probably smoke bud or something. But even with that, you know, be aware where you're getting anything from, you know, because people are spraying fentanyl on bud, and that's crazy. Like, I know somebody who just got busted, who was getting ready to go to the feds for fentanyl and heroin. And I looked at them different. Like I didn't know what they were getting ready to go to jail for.

And then- Oh, that's what they got caught with. That's what they got caught with. Oh, I see. So once we had the discussion, I literally looked at them different. Because I'm like, yo, man, and it never i never

this is your dad all over again in this position to and it's back to being my damn life yeah and i literally heard the thing like it was hair on the fit now and i was like yo and i said this just like this like what the fuck was wrong with you like you putting fentanyl in why didn't it get it i said this why didn't they give you a life sentence yeah i i asked somebody who a person who is definitely anti going to prison i asked the person why didn't they give you a life sentence like i really wanted to know like what like what what happened you got 15 months fed and you got five years probation you know they gave me 15 years they were trying to give me 99 years for cocaine 99 years you were facing that lady said i'll never forget it i got

anxiety sitting here here or not i'm in court, right? 99. And I hate to go to the prison thing, too, but I'm in court. And Woody Harrison is my attorney. Who? I'm talking about Woody Harris. I'm mixing it. Real Harris is my attorney. Woody Denson is the judge.

Okay. Okay. I just seeing Woody Harris. The prosecutor says, well, I recommend 99 years. And I say, who y'all think y'all caught? Who y'all think y'all caught? Y'all think y'all caught? Freerate Ricky Ross.

Who the hell y'all think y'all caught, right? So I go back again. The lady's talking about 60 years. 60? And I said, hey, does she know that I am 19 years old? Like,

I'm trying to figure out why in the hell are y'all coming to me with so much time? But the first time, that's when I got dropped down in the state. When he,

because the feds, I got busted by the feds. So the feds, when I first went to the federal judge, that man, the prosecutor he was talking about, he said, I think he said like 36 months or 300 something months, whatever the months were. And it make it sound like you can do it because it's months. 36 months. Oh, this is nothing. 180 months.

This is nothing. Shit. But I'm good at math. There's no drug dealers that's not good at math. And, this is nothing. 180 months. This is nothing. Shit. But I'm good at math. There's no drug dealer that's not good at math and we know both systems. So, I'm doing the math.

I'm like, is he crazy? and like, but, I end up having 15, getting 15 years state. Right. Okay,

so, without going into talking about prison so much, tell me about that process. So, you start, you get, federally, you get charged first? Yeah. That is when the feds bus you. Okay.

So then. And then how does it go down to state next? Is that where your lawyers are working together? They working and then they coming up with all this stuff. Well, this is this and this is that. Now you get dropped. But where are you while they're this and in that? And are you in prison or you home?

I'm in jail. You are. Because my bond, they took my bond. You know, I was, it's a lot, man. I was on judifer probation at the time. That's the part I never really tell you. I was on judifer probation at the time. What is that?

So judifer probation is like you on probation for a certain amount of years. If you complete your probation, then they clear your record. Got it. Okay. So I'm on judifer, and I'm messing up the whole time. Obviously, because I'm selling dope. But why wouldn't I be on judifer? Because probation, I had to pay $55 a month.

I ain't no job. So how am I going to pay you $55 every visit without no job? And then when I'm at work, I go to school. I'm a kid. I'm in school. So I did what I know to do. I'm hustling. Something that's quick.

I'm paying them they 55. I paid they stuff up for the year. Paid it off for the year. There you go in advance. You get your little $55. So then, man, when I get busted for this, because I shouldn't even have been on Judahford. I had a terrible lawyer.

busted for this because the jewish i shouldn't even been on judith fred i had a terrible lawyer um and i get busted with the cocaine charge it's terrible for me it's like i'm on judith fred they wanted to give me a bond and then they brought up well he's a flight risk he's he's on probation right now what make you think anyone so then they i went to bond reduction on probation right now, what make you think anyone? So then they, I went to bond reduction. Out of the advice of my attorney, because I could have paid the bond in full. I had $150,000 bond. I could have paid that in full.

To a 10%? No, I would have paid it. Oh, you would have paid the whole bond. I would have got the 15 grand back. And I would have paid the whole bond. I would have got the 15 grand back. And I would have paid the whole bond. And the man said, if you do that, then you're definitely guilty.

That's a mission of guilt right there. I said, what? He's like, if you pay the whole bond, you're definitely guilty. You're definitely guilty. He's like, you're tying my... If you pay that $150,000 bond, you're tying my, if you

pay that $150,000 bond, you're tying my hands. Do you know that? I just want you to know that. So I said, well, what do I do? He's like, well, let's go to bond reduction and get it reduced, and then we can go from there. Because he's trying to make it seem like I don't

have any money. And he's just, and I money. And I'm willing to take this case as, because I have a delivery and a conspiracy to deliver up control. Oh, no, that conspiracy. Anytime they throw that conspiracy on there, they love that one. They always give you multiple charges. It's not just a delivery. It's a delivery with a conspiracy. There was some intent in there.

Some intent. They love intent. They love intent. They love getting intent. Intent to deliver and conspire a controlled substance. That's a lot in there. Say, man, what are y'all... I had like four charges. It's not

one charge. I'm trying to get a possession. Is that the minimum thing you want? A possession is like, I'm a user. And my attorney's like, so, I just want to be clear.

You want me to tell him that you was using five kilos of cocaine I was like I gotta have it like it's like this is why you are a drug dealer and I am an attorney so I'm in I'm coming to my

meetings with him first of all I had three attorneys So I'm coming to my meetings with him. Because first of all, I had three attorneys. The first attorney I got, my mom got. And he was garbage. Because he said something that didn't even make sense to me. He was like, where would somebody in that neighborhood get five kilos of cocaine from? I'm like, been doing this since I was 14. Sir, like, we do this all the time.

So you started dealing that weight at 14? No. Okay. No, I've been selling drugs. You've been selling drugs. Since I was 14. When was the first time you? And I wasn't the big fish on campus.

Your dad. My dad wasn't even a big fish. It was this guy. It was a couple guys that had the weight. What's the most you've ever had in your possession at once? In my possession? Yeah. Five, six kilos.

What's that look like? Would it take up this table or half this table? No, just a couple stacks like about this much. How high? Because it's like you just stack them on top of each other. What does it feel like to look at that? Are you nervous? Are you excited?

Like what was the – Oh, that was mine. But I've seen way more than that. You have? Yeah, I've seen way more. What's the most you think? What's the most you think? In our line, if I had to say it, maybe about 50, 60 kilos of dough.

Jesus Christ. That belong to somebody else in the room. And I'm coming to get one at a time from them. And they're like, this is what I'm doing, baby. But the most money I've ever seen on a table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cash, actual cash money. Cash, actual cash bread. I'm going to say about 1.5.

Get the fuck out of here. On the table. On a table? On a table. Cash. 5, 10s, and 20s. How the hell are these guys not getting robbed and raided all the time? Oh man.

The way people store money back then. Yeah. Give me some creative ways. I've seen money in the wall. Like, like they literally plastered it and covered it. Like layered in the wall. I had,

I had mine in a deep freezer. I've heard that one's also good for fire too. It helps at least, you got at least an extra little barrier in case there's a fire. Yeah, mine was at the bottom of the deep freezer. The back of the washer and dryer, the whole back of the washer and dryer

is, I've seen this, this was the craziest thing. I said, a dude had an apartment. He had a, it's a flat home but he had both sides like the whole the duplex yeah both sides both sides right so you would go in his laundry room and then he would move the wall out and you could walk to the other side because it seemed like it was condemned. Nobody lived there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it was just money and dope. Are you serious? The coldest thing ever. All sitting right there. The coldest thing ever, without incriminating myself, layered under the waterbed. Nah. In the actual.

You know, know how waterbed yeah I remember how my cousin moved when you move the waterbed it's a lot of space under there and how the waterbed is designed all that just layered with cash with money

fuck that's a pretty picture though in my mind yeah I ended up it's funny you said the washer and dryer i ended up being i used to just get my jury notice and i throw that shit in the trash because i did this report on al capone in high school and al capone had this quote saying i refuse to be judged by a jury of my peers too stupid to get out of jury duty and i so i was like well how do you get out of jury duty and uh somebody told me well you just say you didn't get it and i go oh

okay so i would get them for years right in the trash because i live in an apartment i didn't get that and then one day I get this red notice. I took that shit in. This lady at the counter, I'll never forget. She goes, got a red one, huh? And I was like, oh, shit. I got put on a case for five weeks, a month and a week, and it was a drug case. And these guys were the worst.

They were the sloppiest. And I kept thinking, man, i feel like this is all a flim flam i feel like this is all of us looking over here and they're moving real shit over here you know what i mean like if you're thinking smart as a businessman i'm gonna give you these two over here if i can get 20 over here i'm gonna give you these two kids great bus guys we got two kilos of cocaine meanwhile there's 18 more going over this way right so these guys were meeting jack-in-the-box parking lots and minivans like real sloppy and that's where they hid their cash was behind the water like you said and then in there the guns were in in and then the cash was all back behind and we had pictures of everything everything it was our guns were in the garage, in the ceiling.

Like we just moved this board and we had a bunch of guns up there. But as far as money, we kept our money in different places with the crews. Now I had 84 grand at my girlfriend's house just in a trash bag in ones and fives. Had you ever been robbed? Yes and no. Like, not for my own stuff, but in the news special, I talk about getting duct taped and thrown in a trunk. Nuh-uh. Yeah.

That happened to you? Yeah. I know you talk about it in stand-up,uh-uh. That happened to you? Yeah. It was terrible. I know you talk about it in stand-up, but what's going through your mind then? How many people grabbed you and put you in a trunk? Three. Did you try fighting or did you just know?

It was... I'm from this era, man, of honor amongst thieves. The gun thing didn't come into play until later in the dope game. Like I remember. Is that right? Yeah. Like when I first I'm 14. Right. I started selling drugs. Right. I didn't. Nobody around me really had no guns.

Like it was all just fair trade. Fair trade. The first time I ever even had my hand on a gun was I was in this apartment with this guy and he blew crack smoke in my face. He just blew it right. He just smoking. And then all of a sudden he. And I was like, in my mind, I was so offended. I'm like, are you trying to get me addicted to this shit? And so we we end up tussling in his apartment.

And he had a.25 automatic with a wooden handle. And it falls out of his waistband. And I grab it. And I didn't even know how to hold a gun. I don't have my finger on the trigger. I have my finger on the outside. And I'm saying shit that I only heard on TV. I'm like, get back, sucker!

Like, like, I'm just doing something. Man, I don't know nothing about no guns. And this is my first, and so I took this gun from him. And so, the next time I even had an encounter

with a gun was the dude that ended up being my business partner, Charles Barber. He pulled out, and I never, because I didn't encounter with a gun was the dude that ended up being my business partner, Charles Barber. He pulled out, and I never, because I didn't know what the gun was until way later because it was triangular in the front. I was like, but I just knew it was a.45 because he said

it. And I was like, no, it's a big-ass gun. And he's like, yo, you gonna, because he asked me, hey man, what you think about selling for me? I'm like, nah, I'm cool. I was trying to avoid the whole conversation. I don't want to even have this conversation with him. I'm like, man, I'm cool.

Because he's like Nino Brown at this time. I'm like, good. I'm selling enough to get tennis shoes, have my own lunch money. This is not a career. My mother has a job. My mother works for a computer company yeah

like I have my mother I don't have to be out here good job I don't have to be out here but but I'm just you know

in the streets when he pulled that gun on me I'm such a I'm not even brave I'm just oblivious to the situation and I pulled like he got the gun on me and I'm slowly reaching for the 25 and I'm just oblivious to the situation. And I pulled like he got the gun on me and I'm

slowly reaching for the 25 and I'm like, I ain't selling for nobody. And then he snatches the gun out my hand. Nah, man. He just took that. I never get it. He was like, this little motherfucker got hot and snatched the gun

out my hand. Look at the little shit he pulled on me. And my hand's still up. I'm like. And I don't know. After that, he respected me, gave my gun back. It was like, hey, man, anybody ever mess with you, just let me know. And so I end up dealing with him on another level, but that's who I got busted with, too.

Oh, it is? And to this day, I never understood why he didn't listen to me, because he had been knowing me since I was 14. I'm 19. We've been rolling together since then. Why did you listen to somebody else other than me? And I talk about it in the special. And this dude named Mo, to this day, man, it just pisses me off. Because everybody was grown.

It was grown people. Y'all was in their late 20s, early 30s. I'm 19. I keep saying the same thing. Yo, do y'all notice nobody is checking out of this hotel and it is past 12 o'clock? It's like, what? Nobody's checking out of this hotel.

Like not one single person. I don't even see a cleaning lady doing nothing. And I told him, I'm like, yo, man, don't tell Charles, don't come to this parking lot with that dope. Man, I just don't feel right about this. Is that right? You knew. Yeah, and then when I went in, I counted the money.

I was the person that went in, and I counted the money. And as soon as I saw the money, I started having questions. And you soon as I saw the money, I started having questions. And you could tell that they was trying to deter, like the feds, if the feds was involved and they was in my special,

they would be like, we were trying to occupy his mind because he was the one that kept saying everything. Like when I flipped through the money, I flipped through the money just like that. I said, what's all these numbers that's on the money? He's like, oh, that's bank numbers. What?

And when I gave the sign, like we've done this before. When I gave the sign, I just knocked on the table three times. I just... That means it's time to go. We wrapping this shit up. I get right out the door and say, yo, Mo, this the police.

It's the feds. I said, clearly it's they. It's on the tape. It's like my attorney was like, yo, you knew. I'm like, yes, because the money came in hundreds and fifties. Drug money doesn't come like that that I knew that shit off the top I'm like yo man this is the man I said I've been doing

this shit too long dope fiends don't have hundreds and twenties they don't make chains like that it's five tens ones twenties and the money gonna be dirty yeah all wrinkled up and shit this ain't no this ain't press money man i was like i was i was pissed man when we got busted i was pissed

so when you walk out of that room is that when they get you no we in the i i backed the the the minivan up we in the ashtray van a burgundy ashtray i backed the ashtray van up. We in the Astro van. A burgundy Astro van. I backed the Astro van up. I'm cleaning out. And I told Moe, because Moe was supposed to go get Charles. And I told him, hey man, go tell Charles not to come to this parking lot. Hey, go tell him. If he drive off, the most we gonna get

is what? What they gonna charge us with? Come in and count the money? Like, what's gonna to be our charge? But if he pulls in that parking lot, how much does he have? What's he bringing? He got five kilos of dope in that trunk.

In that trunk. And they didn't stop him? Everybody was being greedy. They was thinking what they was going to get. What's the street value of that back then? They have 92 grand is what we were selling them. That's almost 100 grand. Yeah. So they was 100 grand. Yeah.

So they was buying it for 92. So it was weird, man. I never understand why grown men just didn't listen to me. And Charles was like, once we got in court, we had to go to court together. And once again, I saved everybody because there was this judge called Ted Pope. If you look up Ted Pope pope ted pope was a monster like he would do man he would do shit that and you would hear about it like he had this dude man he had a couple pencils on his on his day on the stand on his judge whatever that is the bench the

bench so he got a couple pencils a bunch of pencils in there he said it's to do to like 30 years and he said he would do stuff like this he said um hey you got to jump on whatnot i'ma i'ma throw these pencils and however many pencils you catch that's how many years i'm gonna take off and And dude had his jumper all open, ready to catch as many pencils. And he's like, you ready? And he got the pencil cup. He's like, you ready? He's like, one, two, three.

And he throw the pencils behind the bench. He was like, oh, shit. Like, Ted Post. I think Ted Post sentenced his son his own son and his wife sentenced his son

as his wife Ted Post um and my friend told me a story about he was in court and he told his boy

he said hey man by the time you get out of jail it's gonna be a um a tree outside that window. He's going to go look. The tree will be tall.

And the dude looked out. He said, there's no tree out here. He said, there will be by the time you get out. He was just notorious for giving a lot of time to people. So because I was on Jude 3rd with Woody Denson, I had to, everybody had to go to Woody Denson because I was already in his court. So we was assigned to Ted Pope. Then it got all shipped to Woody Denson. Let me tell you the craziest thing I ever thought during the course of, see, this is what people don't understand.

Jail and prison are different. That's what i wanted to ask you when you're on bond were you in jail before you finally got sentenced and went to prison i was still in jail okay they wouldn't they they well i was going back to that story i went to bond reduction and they gave me more bonds and i said and i said it open cause i said you don't know what reduced me my mother mother was like, what the fuck is wrong with him? Why is he talking? Aren't you his attorney? Stop him from talking.

So, you know, just it's weird. So Woody Denson, right? So I'm reading the paper every day. Woody Denson, my attorney, gets brought up on bribery charges.

Oh, no. That don't look good yeah boom this is what i fucking needed right here oh you think this is a good thing oh i'm thinking this is a great thing oh okay because i'm thinking shit this is my lawyer he's dirty now and they're gonna fuck me no this is my this is the judge good oh the judge gets woody denson gotcha yeah Woody Denson is the judge and I'm like yo Rio go to Woody

tell him 30,000 40,000 you know what I'm saying let's get this done you know what I'm saying I'm I'm thinking

this is the move like he's already taking those bribes he already taking bribes let's give him a going away gift let's's get him going away.

Hey, man, look. Hey, man. My attorney, once again, Rio was like, so you just want me to go to the judge? Man, he already taking bribes. Do you understand me? And he's like, this is not confirmed. I read it in the paper. They changed our judge. They changed our judge. They changed our judge. We was in the same

court. They just changed our judge. This dude named Tim. Tim Ryan or something like that. And how was he? He gave me 15 years. He gave you 15? Yeah. What'd you serve? Six. How? I'm 15. Why only six of the 15? Yeah. What'd you serve? Six.

How? 15. Why only six of the 15? That's the statute. That's half, basically. Is that the way it works? Yeah. So they give you a number and you serve half that?

Yeah, you do your mandatory. Oh, I didn't know that. Like, I, in Texas. You didn't have to, like, be in there and keep fighting the whole time to get the six. It was six. It was good behavior. that i was supposed to actually get out in 18 months 18 to 21 months oh that's why i took the 15 because you get you get a day you get time and a half okay in texas so this is how i learned about politics this is how i learned this is exactly how i even got into politics, how I learned about. So it's 18, 21 months. Ann Richards is the governor.

And this guy comes to me and says, hey, man, you better tell your people to vote for Ann Richards. I said, why? Because this is her last term. She can't run for governor Richards. I said, why? Because this her last term. She can't run for governor again. He said, they last term, they don't concentrate on shit. They steal as much money

as they can before they get out of there and just do. But if George W. Bush becomes the governor. Oh, that's right. This is back then. He say the first thing

when any person becomes governor or mayor, they're going to crack down on crime. I said, are you serious? He's mine. If Bush win, everybody is going to get what they call a set off. You don't get your date set further back so they can show that they keep in prisoners. They've been tough on crime. And I was like, they can do that. Just come in and being tough on crime. And I was like,

they can do that. Just come in and be like, all right, everybody's getting extended by three years. Yeah. Cause you, you not, you got to serve.

Not if you already have three years, but if you have three years and you supposed to get out on good behavior, mandatory release or not, they can make you serve your whole time. Cause you got, you, you already have the three years, so they don't have to let you out.

That's a privilege. It's like with 15, I could have got out at 33. You know what I'm saying? So I'm thinking, okay, I'm writing people, hey, make sure you vote for Ann Richards. Make sure you vote for Ann Richards.

You know, hey, tell everybody, vote for Ann Richards. So Ann Richards loses You know, hey, man, hey, tell everybody, vote for Ann Richards. So Ann Richards loses. Yeah, yeah. They send, they send it to you in a,

in mail call. Like, when, when everybody getting mail, that's something, that's something that's, because everybody don't get mail. Not the whole tank don't get mail.

A couple people get mail, mail call, everybody else just be looking crazy. But if they giving them serve-alls, everybody gets mailed two times. When they giving serve-all and when they giving you your book statement, like how much money you have on your books.

Whether it's zero, they gonna still give you a statement saying that you indigent. So I'm literally hearing all these people get ma I'm like oh shit what is this but it comes to me and then I see two years set off and it's all because the governor I don on crime cracking down on crime that's how I end up getting staying there longer then

I went to school I left and went from one prison to another prison I ended up at six different prisons I went to school all in Texas yeah

I'm serving I'm serving state time so it's all in Texas that's right so I went to school went to you know

did a bunch of stuff just trying to make my when when I come up for the parole board, it looks good. Like he went to cognitive intervention. He went to the drug classes, which I did and learned a lot in there. And I never get this one lady that was doing the drug, the drug classes, tried to make me feel bad. I did. He was like, you do know that me and you are the same. You're a drug addict and I'm a drug addict. I was like, ma'am, you got me confused.

I've never used drugs in my life. You're a drug addict. She's like, well, when I was out buying the drugs, who was out selling them? Damn. And she broke it down she said if I'm out at 3 o'clock in the morning

buying drugs you out at 3 o'clock in the morning selling you're using it you're using the drug the same way I'm using it I'm using it

for entertainment and to get high you're using it for your livelihood I can stop being entertained how you stop your life if you know if you're depending on this and that and those things like that resonated with me yeah like just going to these classes trying to make my stuff look better cognitive intervention was all this levels of thinking before you react to something.

You know, so I was probably a bit of a reactor instead of a responder. Me too. You know, just kind of. Reaction right away instead of thinking right away. Yeah, so all these things kind of helped that I was going, you know, going to and going through. And I always say that, man. Drug dealers don't know how much they're users. Because I had no idea.

Yeah, that's a great point. You're more dependent on it than actually the addict is. The addict can quit. You can't. That's your livelihood. Yeah, so that's the. That's a great thought. And, you know, you go to these classes and you're like, ah, shit. And it kind of made me a better person.

And I had a lot more empathy for people who were users. And then I should have because my pops end up using. I never forget finding that out. That was kind of. How old were you when you found that out? I was like maybe 17. And that surprised you? Yeah, it did.

Because how I found out was I came on this block and these young boys I knew, they was bragging about taking some these two old guys stuff. Yeah, they came over and we took their shit.

And I'm like, oh, let me see what y'all took. And then I saw the watch, my dad's watch. And I was like, yeah, man, put all that stuff in this bag. They're like, damn, man, you gonna just take our stuff? I said, well, you took it from somebody.

And I never get going back to um where my dad was at and I threw the bag at him I said man he said man what you mean you don't throw no goddamn bag at me

I said man look in that bag that's your shit but I'm trying to figure out how did did this happen you over there smoking dope my dad said he give me Rob these time others friend so I accepted that right and then I end up telling my mom about it I I said,

you know, these guys who I know, they robbed my dad. Where he was at? I said, over on Woodfair, over there fucking with that shit. That's what my mama said. I said, no, he said he was with his friend. And my mama said,

and you believe that? He said, man, I done put your father in rehab two times. Is that right? After we were divorced. She still helped him. Yeah, that really after they were separated. Cause let me tell you the craziest thing. My, I gotta be man, like 39, 40.

Gotta be. My mom calls me, hey, I need a favor. I say, what you need, mom? I need you to go to Louisiana and get your daddy to sign these divorce papers. I said, what? Y'all have been separated since I was like three. She said, but we not divorced. It's official now. And I don't want that motherfucker to die, and I have to be responsible for him, right?

Yeah, good point, good point. So my mom is really focused on this. So I had to go down to Louisiana, get my dad to sign these papers to divorce my mom, and he was still reluctant. Tell me about it. I don't know. I don't know. to divorce my mom and he was still reluctant. Talking about, I don't know. I don't know. He's like,

I don't know. I don't know. He's like, she, why she want to be separated now? I'm like, man, if you don't sign these papers, man,

get your crazy ass out of there. So I had to take the papers from my dad to sign them. He finally signed them, got them notarized. And that's how they end up actually being divorced. After all those years? Since I was three. Damn.

I was almost 40, I know for sure, when I did that. So now your mom is still alive. Yes, my mom is still alive. Your dad passed. How old was he when he passed? Shit. your dad passed how was he when he passed um he passed in 2018 february 14th so he was born in june so maybe 60 something like 63 what what killed him probably cocaine what you think just over the years

heart he was still doing it he was taking some little heart medicine and then he had been clear and then I was told that he had a heart attack

but I think he probably got happy because my he was very happy at the end and he probably celebrated and snorted something a little hot shot yeah and that's what yeah i think that's what happened being honest that's yeah that's what i'm saying it terrifies me i'm seeing it on buses now everywhere on buses they got fentanyl ads i have my daughter's eight i've already had to talk to her about it because of stuff like that we have a friend whose daughter died and she he she he came to visit us and he was crying and we're hugging and talking and

she was 20 i don't know four or five in in Baltimore, got some dirty shit, a little bump, and it killed her. And she's like, why is he crying? And what happened? And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to tell you because this shit's coming into middle schools and everywhere else now, man. You need to know about this because it is not – it didn't just say no to drugs anymore. It's all poisoned out there. All of it is. So I think that's one of the things that I actually don't mind being the guy sometimes that talk about drug dealing.

Because I'm from a different perspective of this is not a good thing. Like it affects you way more than you think. You know, it makes you a different person when you're out there doing that. And then you start to, like, the person who had the fentanyl and the heroin, they, you would have never even thought it. And they might have been like, I didn't know what it was. I'm just doing this. But that shit, man, to give somebody something that you know that can kill them with

just a not even a a dab of it like a the smallest amount of this stuff like man you savage like i would have never done that as a drug it would never like i don't even know how that even plays into you're also killing your customers yeah like that i don't even know how that even plays into. You're also killing your customers. I don't understand that business model. Yeah, just imagine Starbucks killed everybody that came in. That's what I'm saying, right? Starbucks and Chick-fil-A just knocking you out as soon as you finish. Chick-fil-A.

Man, eat your sandwich and then die. And then who else are you going to serve the sandwich to? I want to ask you a couple questions before we wrap up. I asked this to people who've been to prison before, and I'm just curious. Not saying did you enjoy your time or anything like that, but is there anything you miss about prison when you got out? The structure or, you know, I know it's very regimented in there. Is there anything that you still maybe even carry with you into your adult life? Do you have trouble sleeping?

Or can you sleep no problem like what anything this is the this is the thing that i miss about prison consequences people understanding consequences see in a free society people don't understand getting on these keyboards and saying whatever they want yelling in people's faces yeah because the level of respect in there is different like yeah people know like people out in the freestyle you they'll do a bunch of goofy not understanding that they put theyself in a in danger because i'm like yo if you did this in inside it'd have been nothing for me to tell your fucking head off. And nobody, it's not going to, I'm not going to be looked at no different.

It's going to be like, yo, man, you shouldn't have did what you did. Like, that's the part about it that I miss, man, because it get dealt with. Like, I don't think people understand the level of respect. You're going to respect or you're going to get dealt with. It's like it's no other way. You're going, all right, think that you're not going to respect it. And it's no, you should tell people all the time, hey, man, inside these walls, there is no weight class. Give a damn you big.

Yeah. I don't give a damn you small. I don't give a damn you got a crew. Because in here, it's three things. It's lambs, it's wolves, and there's lions. A wolf can be a lamb because you running packs. You need help. A lion is a lion regardless.

And when you see us bump heads, this shit is terrible. It's like I couldn't even begin to tell dudes, like, man, you think because you're six foot anything, you think I give a damn? You think anybody on this side of the room gives a damn? He's 4'11". He he's probably gonna be the worst problem that you ever have like yo man we we on this side of the table it is lying yeah and like it that's the thing you could be you know what i have to say that is actually really interesting because you're right there's so many people out here that pop off in people's faces and do all kinds of fucked up shit. And there are no consequences.

They just keep on going on. Even the people that's in these hoods that got all these guns. Fuck all that. Come in here. No guns, no knives. No guns, no nothing. It's whatever you make and whatever you can. Man, I would love the people to understand, yo, man, you can cut. That shit don't mean nothing.

I'm stabbed. I'm still breathing. And now you, man, it's just a different, the type of wars that we've been in. This is, you ever seen that movie Gangs of New York? Yeah. This is that savage shit. You know what I'm saying? With no guns.

Just bare knuckle brawling and hit you in your head with something like, like if nobody, I mean I've actually beat somebody's head on the cement. Just their head is grabbed.

Just boom, boom, boom. Just beat to the, and the type of savagery and violence that to get, man, I just, I don't, I see it different. Like you ain't got enough, like you a fucking coward if you got to send somebody to me. Like to be a boss in prison,

you got to be able to do it yourself all that I'm gonna send somebody to you I'm gonna run in a pack of people don't none of that shit mean nothing to me you running in a pack because you terrified oh and I'm gonna see it I'm gonna see the pack oh man it's it's I don't think people understand how much I miss that. Like, you got to come to me as a man. You got, you understand, you cannot send somebody to me and me respect you. I don't give a damn what crew you with and any of that other bullshit. If the leader of the gang won't come, then your gang is pussy.

And I'ma show you that. I'm coming. Anytime I've ever had a problem with anybody, I'ma show up. Prison, free society, whatever, I'm showing up. And you got to fucking deal with me when I show up. And I know I'm a problem.

Oh. I don't even think you, that's the greatest question. You don't understand how much I miss that part of this shit. I can feel it, dude. I can feel it. Like, man, all this dumb shit, all this, I'm a boss shit, man. Man, okay, boss. And I tell people like this, if you want to know what I'm really fucking about, watch Mitchell.

I was going to kill a CO and go back to my fucking cell. I wasn't trying to get away. Wasn't no get away with this shit. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to go back to my cell. Y'all come get me when y'all figure out I did it. Period. If anybody wanted to get down,

all you had to do was say it, a step on my toes. But in the free society, call the police. You hide behind a crew of people. You go do all this shit, but you're the one started. Right. All right, man. You hide behind your keyboard. You say all that slick shit.

But, man, when you see me see me okay that's all i can tell people okay okie dokie and you're in there if you fuck up you're in there you might be in there for three to five getting that ass whooped like that you know what i mean yo man it's gonna be a long it's a long this is a long haul yeah every time that cell crack you got to see me it's a long hall I see those dudes peeking out yo man he in the day room you fucking right I'm out here in the day room

so you sit in your cell and I decide I'm going to go to sleep or you got to kill me or if I feel like you a threat I ain't got no problem with taking you out of here. Like, no problem. And that's the difference. And that's even the difference out here.

Like, I tell people, man, some of us not wrapped as tight as you think that we are, and we just, we being humble because we don't, man, I was listening to this show, and it's just, it was the epitome of everything that I believe in if people knew the type of violence

that it took to be this peaceful to be this under control that's all I can say to them is okay and my mother tells anybody the problem is not when he's talking the problem is when he's quiet Okay. And my mother tells anybody, the problem is not when he's talking.

The problem is when he's quiet. Because now he's contemplating. He's thinking. He's trying to figure it out. But you're going to answer for it. That's why she never really worried about me in prison because she knew the type of heart that I got. I don't have a, I ain't got no quit. And if you, and I've never started to fight.

That's what makes it even more intense because I've never started to fight in my life. But if you decide to pick on me or think that you're going to pick on me, I'm so offended. I'm so offended that you chose to think that you was going to step on me, I'm so offended. I'm so offended that you chose to think that you was going to step on me after I didn't do nothing to you? Okay. That's all I can say. Good luck with that one. And people who was in prison with me, they were like,

yeah, he was a bit of a problem. It's like this, he wasn't one of the ones that are oh, go mess with him. They were like, no, no, no, no. You see them three little ones over there? Not them. Me feasting the dude named Elliot. All right, let me ask you this. The last question I'm going to ask. I'm glad

I asked that question. You got a lot to say and feel about that. I said to you before we started recording advice you would give to your 16 year old self now that we've talked about everything we just talked about here going back what's advice you would give to your 16 year old self be be confident enough to stand on your own because Because at the time, I wasn't as confident as I am now to just be able to be okay with my mom having a great job and not having to be in the streets. You know, like a lot of people get in these situations because they trying to be a part

of something. Like a lot of people get in these situations because they trying to be a part of something. I wish I was independent enough just to not want to be a part of anything, just be who I was. I was a pretty gentle, sweet basketball playing everyday boy. And then being outside and these outside influences and trying to be tough, not understanding. Being tough was being able to stand on your own, not get into the rigmarole of going outside. So I would definitely say to my 16-year-old, I would plead with my 16-year-old self, I would plead with my 16 year old self, hey man, just be confident and be in the moment and be able to stand on your own.

And 16 is enough to be able to understand that you don't have to be involved in no game. You don't have to be involved in no drills. Being smart is the toughness. Mental fortitude, having a little more mental fortitude. I could have learned a lot of lessons that I learned in prison, I already knew from my parents talking to me.

Just like I didn't want to be, my dad is not being an absent father, I could not want him to be my dad as far being an absent father. I could not want to be my dad as far as selling drugs. I could just took his business model and just been a business person

without the drugs. My mom's hard work and determination just did that without putting that for drugs. I don't, I tell myself

not to take the easy route, man. Yeah. It is the long, hard road. It's the way to go, man. It is. Yeah. Dude, thank you for coming on. This is way to go man it is yeah dude thank you for coming on this is great oh man thank you for having me um promote everything one more time you're special all that stuff domino effect um today yeah june the 4th make sure y'all go out check it out it's a roller coaster um that i i can say it's a roller coaster think you'll enjoy it. Go to my Instagram and my TikTok and all.

It's just my name, Ali Sidi, A-L-I-S-I-D-I-Q. Man, that's all I got, man. This was great, dude. Thank you very much. Pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. Yeah, man. And as always, RyanSickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media.

We'll talk to you all next week.