The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Andrew Santino

Episode Date: June 10, 2019

Dewers! My #HoneyDew this week is Andrew Santino! Santino grew up in Chicago where his dad was in and out of prison. Now, doctors are in and out of Santino trying to help with his chronic prostatitis. Anger issues, poor SAT scores, failure after failure - we cover it all! And just look at my boy now! Subscribe, download & review! theHoneyDewpodcast.com

You're listening to The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. Doing it over here at your mom's house. I'm Ryan Sickler. You can find me on social media at Ryan Sickler. My website's ryansickler.com. That's where you can go follow me on social media, get my latest album, find my tour dates. Let me hit you with some tour dates we have coming up because I'm going to be out with Tommy Bunz.

June 13th, we're in Richmond, Virginia. The 14th of June, Hanover, Maryland. And then the 15th, Atlantic City. And then a couple weeks later, the 27th in Tulsa, Oklahoma, 28th in Wichita, Kansas, and then the 29th and 30th in Kansas City. August 1st through 3rd, I'm at the House of Comedy in Minnesota, and then I think it's September 14th. Let me double-check that.

I'm in Baltimore. As always, I want to tell you thank you for all the positive feedback. You guys are fucking amazing uh wherever you listen to podcasts however just make sure you're subscribed to the uh honeydew download it review it and also make sure you're subscribed to your mom's house youtube channel all right that's where you'll get honeydew episodes every tuesday um and you can go to the honeydewpodcast.com to email me and follow the show on social media. All the links are there.

And if you are new to this show, what we do here is laugh in the face of adversity. We like to find a little bit of light in the darkness. And as I always say, these are the stories behind the storytellers. And today, my light in the darkness, the story behind the storyteller mr andrew santino welcome to the honeydew thanks brother what you'd light in the darkness is that is that because of my hair i knew you were going to say that and it is it is did you say that for everybody uh light in the darkness i've been starting to frame it up a little bit you know to tee it up in case you're new to the show it's really sweet the light but uh you're the lighter and the you're

the red i'm the lightest lighter in this motherfucker i'm the lightest of the lighters this is it i'm the light in the dark so i I'm the lightest of the lighters This is it I'm the light in the dark So I'm good man How are you? I'm great Why don't you please Plug, promote, whatever you'd like

Sure Let everybody know where they can find Santino Your podcast Yeah yeah Go to andrewsantino.com For all of the appropriate Santino-ness Stuff that you need Show dates

This weekend I'm in Bridgeport, Connecticut at Stress Factory. The next weekend, I'm at the La Jolla Comedy Store in San Diego. Check all those dates on andrewsantino.com. Go to Chito Santino on Twitter and Instagram. That's where you find my life, Chito Santino. I love the Chito Santino. I should get sponsored by those motherfuckers. I'm either going to get sponsored or sued by Frito-Lay or whoever makes them.

At some point, I'm going to have a cease and desist letter. I thought about that. I was like, I wonder if they're ever going to come after me about that shit. And they will. They haven't yet. People tag me in them all the time. And I'm always like, don't answer. I don't respond to it because I don't want them to see that.

Have they ever responded back? No, but they got their eye on me, I can tell. Don't set that cheetah on your fucking ass. Chester's like what's up player hey man you need to knock that shit off bro just come smack the shit out it can only be one of us um first of all i do i want to say thank you and we were outside talking about the comedy community uh especially out here on the west coast everybody's sort of like a little mafia supporting each other helping each other out and uh i happened

to do uh rick bronson's uh house of comedy yep in phoenix great club great people by the way great people rick and tammy um and you hit me up and said hey i'm gonna leave some weed for it i was like i fucking love it yeah it had do not touch for ryan sickler written on the shit yeah because i thought i was like i'm not gonna be able to finish this weed and i don't know where i was like i fucking loved it it had do not touch for ryan sickler written on the shit yeah because i thought i was like i'm not gonna be able to finish this weed and i don't know where i was going next actually i think and it was a pack of joints those um what are they called uh lowell farms yeah i was like i'm not gonna be able to take this back uh i was like i should just leave and then i looked on the calendar if it was anybody else i probably wouldn't have done it i love it dude but i knew you were coming i was like hey man i leave i left you some weed so like a mom like a like a yeah like a mom yeah like a little

sack lunch i wrote and i wrote for the maid do not touch for ryan sickler only well i was at their edmonton club just not long ago and just so you know i paid it for it all so it was a nice nug i couldn't finish and i left that out for whoever's next community there should be something we should have started this is like uh you know the op like Oprah pays people's tolls and all that bullshit. You're getting weed. You're getting weed. Look under your chair. It's a huge bag of weed.

Loses it. That's what we should do. We should start a community program of comics that has like a, there should be an online shareable Google Doc calendar of where people were and who's leaving what. Who's leaving what. Who's leaving behind. Yeah.

Wouldn't you love that shit? I'm like, oh, we got some whiskey and tequila in Phoenix. Yeah. It would be cool. We'd look forward to it. But yeah, I had to leave you a little something because you got to have something in the desert, man. It's tough out there sometimes. It's a little boring sometimes. Well, speaking of tough, that's what we'd like to talk about on this show here i asked you to come and i you know i always ask everybody what they want

to come and talk about one of the things you said you wanted to talk about was failure because you had a lot of failure but we were talking before and you said that you had some health issues so i want to talk about that because what you mentioned i don't even know i don't even know how to say it say it let's see if you think you know how to say it. Prostatitis? Prostatitis. No, you're right. I did get it? That's good, yeah.

I did. I wanted you to fuck it up a little bit. Prostatitis? Prostatitis. That's a street name. That's how I'm going to keep saying it. Hey, man, my boy got prostatitis. Prostatitis.

He's got that itis. He's got that itis, man. He's got that itis in his booty. Yeah, prostatitis. I have chronic prostatitis. It's an inflammation of the prostate gland. The prostate gland, kids, is in your butthole. It's up through your booty. And you've got to go to a doctor to get it checked out and they have to they have to i mean physically they have to finger you for about a good two or

three minutes for real it's a most uncomfortable shit you'll have to go get it done someday most men over over 55 they ask you to go get a prostate exam once in a while because prostate cancer is crazy common and bad i thought it was at 40 and when i went to my doc i thought you had to get your prostate checked at 40 and then when i went to my doctor when i was 40 for my physical i was like you're not going to check my prostate he's like nah that they moved that to 50 yeah i can check it they moved it i was like i'm good 10 years is a long time to wait you know moved it to 50 so what happens because i had a friend that that was having prostate trouble and this dude he couldn't even take a leak so that's bad is that part of it

no that that's when it's really bad mine was more like um it's like pain and discomfort in your undercarriage you know something's wrong underneath the car like you can't between you know your nifkin your grundle your your gooch your taint your taint it has weird pressure like weird crazy i can't describe it other than like you remember when you were a kid and you were on like a BMX bike. Like you rode your bike all day. And you slammed. And you, you know, if you went off a jump and slammed on the seat. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it kind of

vibrated through your body. It's like that. All the time though? No, it comes and it goes. It comes and it goes. But you feel that through your body? Yes, bro. Fuck. Sometimes I feel it in my back. And then you have to have a doctor finger your ass to make you feel better? Well, here's what's up. They take, well, half of that's for fun. Sometimes I just go in.

He's like, you don't have any symptoms. I'm like, I don't. This thing's not swollen at all. Well, you want to make it swollen? Get out! Get out! So I go in. I had to go in. And this is what's crazy. When he's pushing

on it inside of you, bro, you, I, I was scared I was going to piss because you feel like you're, you were going,

you know when you, you know when you've held your piss for so long and the moment it gets, it's like, it's this big relief. I, dude,

he hit it, he pushed it so hard. I thought I was going to piss all over the table. I got so nervous. Then I was like, I'm going to be embarrassed of the health scare,

a guy's finger in my ass and I'm going to pee all over this room. It's so nervous. Then I was like, I'm going to be embarrassed of the health scare, a guy's finger on my ass, and I'm going to pee all over this room. It's going to be like the worst day of my life. But he's like, you're feeling like you got to pee? Don't just,

don't worry about it. You're not going to pee. You're not going to pee. I promise. He's like, just tell me what hurts the most. I'm hard now. Yeah, yeah.

I'm hard. So he tells you where, he tells you, you know, you tell him where the most sensitive spot is and then they give you all these different.

Wait, hold on. You tell him once he's inside feeling around. Yeah, when he's inside your booty. Yeah, that's where you're telling him. He tells you where it's the most, you'll tell him where it's the most sensitive spot is, and then they give you all these different... Wait, hold on. You tell him once he's inside, feeling around, you're like, there, there, that's where you're telling him. He tells you where it's the most sensitive. You'll tell him where it's the most sensitive. And then they give you different pills. Dude, there's a million different prostate pills to try to reduce inflammation,

to get out of bacterial infection. It starts with an infection. Most people get an infection. They don't know how. There's a million different ways. When did it start for you? A couple years ago. Three years ago.

Yeah, three years ago. And what did you notice first? Just trouble urinating? No, it was never trouble, but going all the time. Oh, frequent? Yeah, I was like, maybe I'm drinking too much water if I'm running because I run every day. So I was like, maybe I'm just drinking too much water. No, that's not it.

And then I changed that up. Still was pissing all the time and then after you piss it would feel like you you didn't clear that's what they say you didn't clear you know like there's something left in the gates yeah you know the bridge is closed but it's like there's something left behind it so i'd feel like that all the time like pressure and then this then this weird like i have to piss again even though i just pissed you know and then like so you go in there you do he gives you all these medications and half of them are placebos i think like some of them work some don't they change the color your piss one of them made my piss like bright red it's crazy red yeah just try it flushes shit

out it's just trying to flush stuff out but it's it but honestly man it fucks with my head it got me real sad and depressed because i was like what if this is what if i have the medication did no no no just just the anxiety from all of it yeah the prostatitis got me i just got me got because i was like what if i have cancer what if i'm done you know what if i'm dying what if because internal shit anybody who has problems with it knows and there'll be some fans that'll be like dude i had something so similar they they don't really know the prostate well enough. They know about prostate cancer because it's easy to fix now, but they just don't know what causes prostatitis or inflammation of the prostate. There's a million factors, hereditary, your diet, all this shit, and we couldn't figure it the fuck

out. So I went to two different cats, and both of them were like, it seemingly has a tie to your levels of like, uh, overworked anxiety and lack of sleep. So when I'm not really, when I'm on the road and I'm moving, I'm not taking care of myself. That was when it was, when it went up. But then there were other times that I, it wasn't, and it's still, and I still was in pain. So it comes and it goes. It's, it's the weird, it's dude, it's the weirdest shit. I can't describe it.

I wish it was gone forever, but there's no fix there's no like i mean you just there's nothing you can do where you're like you're good for the next 15 years it goes away on its own like a lot of times like i haven't had it in a long time now it's been fine but then sometimes it just comes up out of nowhere like there's i can't i wish i had they wish you know um you ever ever hit you on stage no no it's never like that don't you find that when you're on stage? Like, there's times where I'm like, oh my God, I think I have to take a shit or piss or whatever just as they're calling me up.

And then everything just fucking goes away. It just goes away for an hour. I don't know how it happens. Somehow, the worst anxiety I've ever had, like if I'm about to do a big show, the moment I get on stage, it's over. It's gone. But everything before it, you're like, fuck, fuck, fuck.

You're just so in the moment for that hour that you don't think about any of your problems or anything. Yeah, it's a trip. When I did Conan for the first time, when I was behind the curtain, I was tripping. I was freaking the fuck out. Because I had had some drinks. I had friends in the green room. We were feeling it. We were doing good.

I was like, this is cool as shit. Everything was lax. And the moment I got behind the curtain, I was freaking out. I was like, this is cool as shit. Everything was lax. Then the moment I got behind the curtain, I was freaking out. I was like, oh shit, oh shit. Should I not have had

another drink? We were fucking off in the room. We were goofing around too much. Then the moment I got out, I was like, oh, it's all good.

But yeah, the stage somehow wipes that shit away. But I haven't had it on, I haven't had it in a while, but it never affected me on stage like that. Because otherwise,

I wouldn't go up. If I was feeling that much pressure and annoyance, it would be the only thing on my mind but they gave me a bunch of different pills and they also um use um you know um rogaine you know rogaine like hair growth rogaine was developed for prostate cancer for for people with prostate problems and it just started making them grow hair for real is that right literally how it happened yeah i read somewhere and i'm i get things wrong a lot but i feel like viagra was for um oh fuck i can't remember what it was originally for well it was heart medication i think so yeah and then they

called it back they were like all right and then the women sent their shit back or stopped using it but guys kept fucking using it that's when they're like what's going on proctor gamble like hey um my heart isn't as good as it wanted to be could i have more of those all these guys are having heart i don't care about the hard dick blindness have you ever used those phone i had i used one time yeah because i had a sponsor and i was like i want to see if this shit really works and uh it did work man yeah It worked to the point where it got annoying after a while. See, I was like, get the fuck, go the fuck to sleep.

You know, I was trying to go to bed, man. I'm up all night with this damn thing. Your dick is on drugs. That thing, that's such a weird idea that your dick is on drugs.

By itself. Yeah. It's doing its own fucking thing down there. After you cum, it just stays hard the whole time? Yeah.

No. No? But it comes back quick. Yeah. So real quick. You just need to snap it back. Remember when the old school days of old school remember when you were 14

remember the old school days of baseball when the bullpen dude would sprint to the fucking mound yep that's what you got they drove him out in the car that's the fuck that's how quick it is it's right back yeah without that i'm the old third base coach that's hobbling over the line just slowly getting there. Limping and shit. Limping, yeah. I've never done, I've never tried to have

no ambition to try it. But you know what's so funny? I remember being like 15 and my dad, like an ad came on the radio, I was in the car with my dad, an ad came on for erectile dysfunction pills

or something like that. And he was like, like laughed it off. I was like, what's that, what? And he was like, yeah, you're not gonna need those. got good blood i was like man dad can still get it rock i'm glad i don't need it because i'm on yeah all kinds of medications what do you want that blood pressure cholesterol

are you really i have been since my 20s but you don't need it anymore do you really fuck yeah i think so look i even went my doctors have me, even if you went full vegetarian, whatever, your body just manufactures cholesterol. It's just something your body does. Hereditary, then. Hereditary. Straight hereditary. And then I find out I got this weird blood disease that no one knew I had until a couple

years ago. It's called Factor V Leiden. My blood is prone to clot. It's thick thick it's thicker than most thick blood broke the blood you know sickle got the thick blood so um so it wait so your blood just clots it can yeah it can clot like when i fly and shit i gotta wear compression pants i gotta get up every 90 minutes i gotta walk shit like that stretch my legs i can't take long drives without i gotta make every i'm the guy in the car it's gotta make everybody stop every two hours god damn sickler get out hold on man i gotta get out

my legs my legs will be like stiff as fuck if i don't it's ridiculous wait you wear compression socks on planes pants pants compression pants on planes yeah like that under armor yeah look at you're you're ready to play yeah i'm ready to get off the plane you're ready to play i'm running gassers up and down the aisle ready for anybody down and back down and back let's go touch the line yeah the fucking gas the flight attendant's like so i was like please stay in your seat sickler's gotta run i'm one of those idiots that's got to stand in the back. But when I fly with my daughter, that's what I do. I walk her up to the front.

They give her, you know, pins and shit. And we just keep walking and shit. Where do you sit on the plane with your kid? Well, I'm not a fan of turbulence at all. Who is? So there are a lot of people that are. They fucking laugh and love it like it's a goddamn roller coaster. It doesn't bother me at all.

It fucks with me these days. It didn't used to. It does now. Why is it now? Because you got a kid? You know what it is? No, it's a goddamn it doesn't bother me at all it fucks with me these days it didn't used to it does why is it now because you got a kid you know what it is it's no it's just the control thing that's all it is totally it's i'm not in control of that that's all and i don't know why it's happening and what's going on at this exact moment you know i always well i'm the dude that walks on plane all the time like how are we looking how are we looking the whole way guys we're gonna dip down if we need to we're gonna bank around some shit you're outside checking the wings with a pilot before the flight he's like sir get back and be like i just want to just want to see what it looks like from down here this boat looks a little loose right here um so you you sit over the wings is

what they say yeah right the wings it's a little more minimized yeah in the back it's worse and i made that mistake one time you get that back the one that doesn't even go back is first of all you're back by the toilets yeah you're hearing all the shit they're talking about the flight attendants are talking about their bullshit in the back and that's the worst seat you can get yeah do you fly first class ever only if i've ever been luckily upgraded yeah you know you'll never pay for it no i shouldn't say i'll never pay for it if i make enough money i'd rather fly first class yeah you know i'm back there with i go southwest bro so unfortunately bwi is a southwest hub so i just rocked southwest i guess yeah bwi straight doesn't make any sense flying out of burbank i'll always take southwest but if i have to go to lax i'll do anything else

but but but my god i used to be freaked out on planes all the time about that shit about crashing no just about like just like planes going bad i had so many bad experiences on planes so many bad oh my god leaving um colorado one year leaving denver it's the worst denver's the fuck that's the one they say where the pilots grow fucking hair on their that's where my lady's from so we have to go. I have to go there all the time. Oh, yeah. And you're going out of Burbank? Yes.

So you got that mountain range that you're going out of like this into the fucking worst one in the country probably. Yep, yep. Yeah, it's terrifying. We were leaving one time. There was a thunderstorm in the mountains, and it was so bad. The plane looked like it was standing still. I'll never forget it. We were looking at the storm out the window, and I was like,

we're not moving. Like the wind was so strong that it was just fighting against the wind and and and the plane um the plane had we had to reroute our course to go so far around the storm it cost us another hour in the sky a flight time and getting out around that storm was unforgettable i mean even the even the most seasoned veteran flyers yeah everyone was looking around like oh it was bad the whole time was like this i mean it was you know it was just like you were a little fuck you know as if someone was hitting a little toy you know what i mean it was like a dog hitting a toy it just felt like it was getting smacked around that that was one of the worst and it an hour of that 20 minutes i can handle 30 minutes an hour was like i couldn't do

it man i was like i was just watching my throat in the bathroom there are people showing turbans they're praying they're like i love my family they're recording it though you know the whole time i'm like oh look at this motherfucker i had um i've told this story before this was this was terrible it was two stories uh and you want to talk about definitely feeling like a fucking honey doing an asshole on a plane but i unbeknownst to me i had fallen asleep and vividly i saw from my pov the plane just dipping and nose diving like this right and with everything i had in me like i was dying i went oh and i mean every i mean people in the back you know popping up to see who the fuck it was. I was like, oh.

I still had about four hours to go on this motherfucker. I just threw my hoodie over my face and laid there for four fucking hours. I would have let my blood clot. I was so humiliated. You wanted to die. I was so fucking embarrassed.

Take me away from this shit. So embarrassed. The compression pants are really funny to me. I was so fucking embarrassed. Take me away from this shit. So embarrassed. Wait, the compression pants are really funny to me because I see sometimes, I see old women wearing the socks and I saw a woman change her socks on the plane, the compression socks, and when she took them off,

her feet were like, it's like a balloon filled up. Yeah, it helps keep shit in. It made me laugh so fucking hard. I know that's mean as shit, but it was like the Simpsons. It's so weird looking man um another time on a flight this is an old story i told way back on the crab feast but we were going to we don't talk about the crab feast anymore we a little bit we were going to this military gig off you may have done it off sam

mark i think it's sam marcos island you go up to ventura and you take this you take this rickety fucking ass military plane right and i mean the whole time everything in it the trays are shaking you're just like what the fuck right and they say that when you get out to this little island it has its own weather because it's so far out there that just shit's swirling around it all the time it's its own little literally island and um we're coming in and there's a cook that's on at the flies three four times and he's all they're always doing this yeah and we're asking uh questions about you know is this normal and they're fucking with us because they know we're scared right all right and daryl wright was on the plane and daryl was extra scared so they took just absolute pleasure in scaring the fuck out of him of course so they would but then

boom we hit one and that's when i saw all the veterans white knuckle their fucking thing and i was like that's not good and here comes veterans white knuckle their fucking thing. And I was like, that's not good. And here comes flight attendant power walking like she's in compression pants to the fucking back of the goddamn thing. And she sat in her little jumper and she buckled up. And I look back at her and there was a look on her face like this isn't normal. And we started getting caught up in wind big time. And we're coming in the land. And the whole time, again, everything's shaking.

The fucking lug, all of it and the wind took us to the point where when we we were just about to come in the plane turned like this i could see the runway out of your side window yeah fuck yeah fuck and then he banked it back around and i also remember saying to the guy's wife that was on us, I said, that tire looks like it's a little low. We're boarding a plane. She's like, you're right. That fucking thing hit. Boom!

That thing hit. And he banked it around, bounced it, and then started slowing it down. And it's only so long, this runway. And then you fall off of it. There's a rock cliff, and you're right back into the water. I'm not fucking lying to you about any of this i'm never doing this fucking we land and everyone including these people that do this shit for a living they are fucking terrified we all get off all anyone can talk about when they take the mic is holy shit that fucking flight like right everyone got up and said so it was not hack

at all because everyone was so we asked those guys like how is that like that's the worst flight we've ever had in like 20 years because you're on it yeah i'm the fucking cooler yeah i'm never flying with you so we go to control tower when we're flying because now i'm scared to death to fly back i am fucking this is the worst flight to fly back because you're going on that same fucking plane when you go that night you just do it you do one night and then you fly back the next day so we go up to the control tower and he shows us the runway and basically he's like it's broken up into an a b c d you know you're supposed to normally land around b and then you skid or slow down around d you stop and he's like you guys hit right here around c and this is where you stop right here he's like

you almost went off the fucking thing we're like holy shit and then i was just terrified to fly back terrified i shut my shade i didn't even want to look out or anything i was like and when you go in when you fly over the rocks there's these um crashed little uh like cessnas and shit like single engine planes are wrecked on the rocks and everything you see that as you fly into this the haunted runway they didn't make it i'm trying to see remains they didn't make it to the runway i like how they don't clean it up they're like yeah fuck it holy leave it man they lost well that is a perfect segue to lead into what i asked you what you want to come talk about you said failure that is perfectly uh a good segue to go into failure so tell me some talk talk to me about

failure like i would say what's one of your earliest moments outside of outside of the business yeah in life my earliest failure um i would say some of my like my earliest fear was like not initially getting into colleges that i wanted to get into after high school and that was embarrassing why people got because people could get in and i was i was a mediocre student i was like a b minus c average you know i was floating my way through i was a 3.0 yeah man i played sports that that's all i gave a fuck about so like i just i was never it turned out that i was a much better college student because it was classes i gave a fuck about right i was i graduated with honors in college which is ironic where'd you graduate arizona state bitch but you know i mean you know listen the harvard of the of the desert dog

is that what they call it no they call it the the havarti of the desert man the cheese of the desert shit is shit is so easy to get hard but i didn't get into a few schools that i kind of wanted to get into and it kind of it it it was really kind of like, it was more embarrassing, right? Nobody know, nobody knew, but it's more embarrassing because people are getting into schools and all your friends, all I want to do, and all I want to do is go to California, but I couldn't afford California schools. There's no way my parents were going to give me money for that. So Arizona was the place I was like kind of targeting to go anyway,

but I didn't get into other places that I kind of had my heart on. What was your goal? Which one did you want? Well, you're Chicago, right? Did you want Northwestern, or did you want to get the fuck out of Chicago? Couldn't get into Northwestern. No way. U of I.

What's that? University of Illinois. All Illinois. But Northwestern. You can't get into Northwestern. I mean're that's if you really have your career mapped out dude i wrote a letter when i was in high school that said i wanted to become a comedian i put it up on instagram i told rogan this a couple of weeks ago but i knew from the jump that's what i wanted to do but i also want to go to college and have that college experience because everybody

was going i was the same way but i but i didn't give a fuck about what i was going to do in college i was like i'm just going to be a comedian like i knew test well in the sats no i'm so dumb dude i'm so dumb i didn't i honestly god i was horrible if anybody knows for real i've been researching how to look up my old sat scores i'm trying to see can you not find them it's got to be a public record they keep saying they are but i don't think they're public you have to pay for them but they're yours but i don't know they're available to have yeah i think my well we did well because i had a couple community colleges like i don't know if we're if you're right what is it what is it what is that a 1600 what the sats 1600 is i think that's perfect at least it used to be. I think so. In Chicago, it's

ACT. You can do both. ACT was 32? God, I don't know. Can they look shit up? I was going to say I don't want to fuck up. ACT is, I think it's 32. I think it's 32 and the first time,

a dumb guy says this, I'm not good at standardized tests. I'm not good at standardized tests. I'm not good at standardized tests. I'm not either. It's so bad. It's so bad. Other shit, I'm great at. There's stuff that I'm so great at school-wise, but scholastically, dude, fucking, I do a test, and I was like, whatever.

So I think the first time, if it is out of 32, 32 or 35, I think the first time I got like a 23. Woof. I mean, garbage. Absolute trash. And I took it two more times to get my score up, and I don't know what I ended I mean, garbage. Absolute trash. And I took it two more times to get my score up. And I don't know what I ended up with, 28 or something like that. Ended up being good.

But I had to take it again. I can't remember. I know mine was not great. I think I might have been right around like a 900. It was not great. What is it? What's the average? I don't know.

A thousand? Over a thousand, I feel like, is the average. Like, that's the litmus test to get you somewhere at least that they give you 800 to sign your name and shit i think that's real i think they give you like 600 to sign your fucking name just to show up for the fucking thing but i took it again a second time and it only went up 10 points and i was like fuck this at this point i can't afford college anyway i'm going to community college i don't even know why i bothered all how many how many did you go to one one school and that's it no i went to community college

when i got my aa from community college i came here to go to cal state northridge in 94 shout out northridge and the morning i woke up getting ready to get into my 1990 honda civic with original rims and drive this great country was martin luther king day 94 and the northridge quake destroyed the school wow destroyed the school damn that's nuts you were out here for that shit i came out i still drove here like a fucking idiot in a semester at college at northridge on two classes one on a sidewalk and the other one was just under a tree every fucking day they had nothing i'll get i was homeless i was supposed to be i god i was homeless i was supposed to

be i thought i'd meet i was trying to get the college experience yeah i'm gonna quad mates i'm gonna meet some people no the whole school's the second class is under the tahunga free bridge or some shit you're like we're meeting under the bridge at 2 30 we'll see y'all bum cap at 2 30 that's what it was like for real. So my college experience was phenomenal. That was, I mean, you know, I had too much fucking fun. But anyway, going back, like a lot of the failures I experienced in school were like in that world of like, I didn't, I wasn't a jock. I wasn't a nerd.

But I was friends with all the above. But I wanted to fit in a little bit more into like you know i had a click to go to college with didn't have it and so that fucked me up a little bit like it maybe it bummed me out where was everyone in your like all your people stay in the midwest they do and it's not like i really wisconsin wisconsin indiana illinois ohio state all the midwest schools and some of those schools i couldn't get into you know so it was i didn't want to stay but you want to know you could do you know what i mean yeah you don't want to know you have access even and that bothered you yeah fuck it fucks you up a little bit because you

feel dumb you feel stupid you're like what am i am i fucking dumb like am i am i just an idiot because i'm smarter than that guy but it's just some people are so good at school but they're idiots in public you know i had so much more street smart than i had school smart me too and that bothered the shit out of me because i was always like how can these fucking morons that i know do well in school they're they're idiots but my whole thing was i was so distracted all the time in school anyway i know i it was so hard to pay attention it was so it was so boring i was so fucking bored but also as a young boy 14 to 17 you're just a walking erection full of testosterone and i don't give a fuck about we got letters in math now what the fuck are we talking about over here like get the fuck out of here get the fuck out of here where's numbers math i want that's

the only math i like i was so bad i was so bad at just simple shit i just hated it but complex stuff i was drawn to if it was more like if it was if it was you know like science was sexy as fuck to me like science was cool but but in certain avenues i was so garbage at i just couldn't wrap my head around it probably because math was the root of it i fuck i always hated fucking math you know you're gonna use it when when when do i use math i i really believe i never use math i have only outside of basic math yeah i've never used trig or any of that why would you when when would you need it i already know i cannot help my daughter with math i'm like you're just gonna have to talk to your mom or i'm gonna have to pay for a tutor because i'm not fucking and i don't know how to do that when i was working working with my stepson, his homework, that common core shit,

I just looked at it, and I was like, look, I was bad at the original shit. I have no idea how to do this shit. Good luck. That's funny, because I think my parents played it off, like they just wanted me

to figure it out on my own, but it was just because they didn't know. You know what I mean? They were like, you need to finish it, and I know when I'd leave the room, my dad would be like,

I don't know what the fuck that shit is. I have no idea what that shit is. I used to find, you know, they used to have the key in the back of the book in a lot of them. So I would just write the answer. And they're like, you need to show your work. And you're like, uh. You want to video me flipping to the back of the fucking book? That's how I fucking got this answer.

Now kids can just do it online. They can just cheat online. Well, that's what he does. He'll be like, how do you spell? And then it spells it for you. I'm like, you're not. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, but think about it like this, though. Some of that stuff is so unnecessary. It's so antiquated. We actually don't need some of it. Like, I'm amazed. I hate when someone's like, the system is in place. The system works. You're like, yeah, but times change.

So they have to keep up with the time. And also not for every person. Yeah, it's not the same. I think that's the most fucked up thing is school. When I was young, young young i was so bad i would get kicked out of school kicked out of classes because i was either fighting or i was disruptive you were fighting oh yeah what do you talk tell me about that oh my god every why why were you so angry because every kid that would talk if a kid talked shit i'd hit him and are we talking about elementary are we a middle at this point?

Both, up until junior, up until almost high school. So were they picking on you? Sometimes they'd be picking on me if I was young. Why? The red-headed thing. You did get picked on for that? Not really. I'm not trying to project like that was the thing. But here and there you would get those people.

Once in a great while by someone older than me. And that was a trigger for you? I hit him right in the face. Punched him? i could i mean right away i wouldn't even think twice i swear to god it's so unfortunate i told i told who's it unfortunate for i think i know yeah yeah not for me ain't bad anger issues but also also that's i talked about it on uh on what on calen and fighter and the kid that's this nickname slugger santino they this elementary school teacher said that because i wouldn't stop fighting people because i i would get mad at somebody for either if they were making fun of me not picking on me like joking about me and i would i would just take

out all my anger on him i just hit him where as hard as I could. Where's that anger come from? I don't know. Come from a broken home? Divorced parents? Yeah, but my parents split when I was one. I didn't know them together. Do you know what I mean? So I didn't have that experience. But my dad was in and out of my life all the time.

But that wasn't really the root of it. I don't think that was it. I think it was just... In and out of your life, why? What did he do? Prison. For real? Prison, prison. See prison i don't know when you're joking with me or not i swear to god i swear to god what are you comfortable talking about

what did he do to go to prison drugs selling or both selling buying being involved with pieces of shit let's start let's go back to beginning your mom and dad split at one before you're one right right siblings is there anyone that not from them not from them no i'm the only one from them not from them but other but i have halves i have half siblings okay but i'm the only one from them from my from my biological mom and dad so when do you at what age do you remember meeting your dad shit maybe like i remember like maybe three or four i remember some i remember going to his apartment when i was three or four and watching bears games like that i kind of remember but not much he was like a figment of my imagination as a kid he he drove i talk about i used to talk about

on stage he drove a uh a firebird remember pontiac firebird yeah he drove a firebird he had a million of them he had a he traded would trade them out in and out different colors um but he loved cocaine he loved doing it and selling it everything all the above and then just just unruly people that he was surrounding himself with i'm sure they were involved in criminal activity as well you know what i mean just just to get just he had a lot of protection because my grandfather's uh his dad my yeah my his father's people were, you know... Dialed in? They were people.

Yeah. Yeah. They were people. But he would go to prison. He went to prison. In Cook County? Yeah, Cook County Prison. This is how I knew my grandfather had people.

First of all, my grandfather worked at the dog track. Not the horse track. At the dog track. Yeah, bro. There goes the rabbit. And not greyhounds either. No yeah it's loose neighborhood animals but he would but he would uh but i knew but i would go see him i'd go watch amateur boxing sometimes uh at the at the greyhound track it was called it was called um maywood maywood's the dog track i don't think it's around anymore arlington is the horse track but um he would here's how i knew his friends all had hilarious tv nicknames i only when i was older like his best friend was this guy joe

the hat joe the hat always had nice cars brand new corvette brand new porsche you know like yeah i was like this motherfucker's a magician what does he does he do? Then I got old enough to realize these guys don't have jobs. They kick it all fucking day. What did he do to make money? Are they younger at the time? They were probably... 50s, 60s. They were probably in their 50s or 60s. They weren't 30s or 40s.

It was always so mysterious. Then I knew all these guys with all these bullshit nicknames like Joe the Hat, the Marksman. I was like, who are these Marksmen? I think I know who he is. But you think it's you. As a kid, you don't. Marksman.

Yeah, you just don't wrap your head around all that stuff. You don't understand what any of that shit is. Yeah, it's normal. It's all normal until you realize when that shit is not normal. Right, and then you realize what the hat is. Mom, I'm going to the Marksman's house. No. No, you're not.

No. So that's how I knew my grandfather had friendlies you know and so my dad and his brother were up to no gooders and they were always in trouble always in trouble both great athletes both like had good opportunities to do things and and just couldn't stay out of fucking trouble and then my then my dad's brother uh went to vietnam and got addicted to the horse, like so many of those dudes did, and then had a tough time with his life until he got clean, found Jesus.

That's what took it. He found Jesus hard. In prison? Apparently, Jesus lives on death row. Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does. He's in cell block, too. But, yeah, and then he got his life so clean together.

But my whole childhood with my dad. Are you close with your uncle now no he's in florida but he found god he works with this woman i mean he works at this church and and his life is good he he's living a nice good clean life but my old man you know we had this weird up and down relationship of like this was in and out of prison so didn't really know him when you ever go visit him in prison never never but he would call all the time this is my favorite back in the day when they used to prison collect calls you know yeah he'd be like you're like you have a collect call from cook county prisoner inmate four eight five two seven you know it would say the number and then it would go and then it would go um from dude and it would be a chance for them to leave their name right but my mother would

never she would be angry that I accepted it. So she didn't want me to accept the call. She's like, I'm not paying for that motherfucker to pay. You know, like, fuck him. Right, you gotta pay for you to talk to your own kid. Yeah, fuck that. So she would deny it sometimes. So he knew that it would get denied.

So he would leave his message in the time when he's supposed to leave his name. So it's supposed to just be like, you have a collect call from Rick, you know? Yeah. So he would leave a collect call and be like, you have a collect from rick you know yeah so it'd be he would leave a collect call it'd be like you have a collect call from cook county inmate and then they go from and they go hey what's up it's me i just want to say hi and it would cut it off every time

listen cut that new shit with them some bacon soda listen they're coming to buy new it was just so fun it was just such a funny but so i never so i I never had like, if we're trying to tie it all back in, I never had like anger because of him or anything like that because my stepfather is the greatest dude that's ever lived. Oh, so you did have someone step in. Mm-hmm.

He came in, yeah. How old? They met when I was, I don't know, I think it was like three maybe. They met and started dating when I was young, three or four.

And then, and he's the greatest dude, so he's a great father figure. But it's just, I don't think I had like anger and resentment towards him i just had a lot of pent-up fucking anger and maybe it was just in the blood my whole family's like that just so you gotta go blood i think it's just attitude shit i think it's just we come from that world of asshole busting balls blue collar chip on your on your shoulder, angry, you know? Like I was talking the other week about my grandfather used to make fun of rich people all the time.

His angle on things was so genius that he was like, you know, he'd be like, why do you want to go to a fancy restaurant anyway? The lights are dark. You can't even see the fucking food. Like that's how like a poor person jokes about the rich to make it sound like they have it worse. But I think that was always kind of the culture, you know?

It was always that proud of who we are proud of our thing but i guess you just it's just a weird toughness that some chicago people have for some fucking reason i had it for some reason in spades i was just an angry motherfucker and at what age does your or has he is your dad is your dad still alive he's alive and has he settled down? Oh, he's been clean for a long time. So what age in your life is he finally back? He got too old to do drugs. You know, he was saying, he was like, I got too old to do drugs. What age did we?

What age did you, like, finally connect with your dad? You know, in and out, like, I would connect with him a little bit in my college years, a little bit, and then after college. It's always been in and out, in and out. Because it's always been like, you know that song, the the cats in the cradle and the silver remember that shit that's like that's exactly like my life i mean because he says like when are we gonna get together and it's like oh one day you know we will we'll have a good time and then he talks about in the song it's such a sad fucking song even says when your mom picks up the fucking collect call

what are we gonna connect when mom accepts my fucking phone call son we'll get together then but that's the but that's i think we just we've always been you know it's always been like you know we're getting real serious uh it's always been in and out okay but no no it's just been my choice to be like, uh, my own man. Now this is weird to say, but I'm an,

I'm honest about it. I don't care. We're just, we're two men that live in the, you know what I mean? Like it's hard to, that's not your dad. It's hard to think about it like your dad.

Yeah. Cause we didn't have that kind of connection. So he's just a family member. He's like a man, you know? I mean, it would fucking shatter his soul to know that's the truth. But I think that that's just an honest, I we don't have we never had that connection you know

like you never had this like there's love there's got to be love because it's blood and that's just forever but there i never had i never had this like ethereal bond thing because we were on so different we're on two different worlds and now even more so i'm in two different worlds you know i live fucking third three thousand miles away right and i have my own life my own family i'm trying my own career and like you're it's it's hard it's hard enough to stay in contact with my mom yeah you know what i mean like it's just those things take over so is he still in illinois chicago hell yeah they don't fucking leave those people don't leave so how many people left baltimore nobody i mean they moved out of the city but they haven't they left the area. They don't live there. No, yeah.

You don't do it. They're all still there. Right. They all live in the fringe area of Chicago. Has he come to see any shows in Chicago? Yeah. He came to Madison, Wisconsin with my grandfather. He's seen a few shows. He saw me do my Showtime special.

Listen, if you wouldn't mind not selling some merch, we're trying to move some products to the motherfucking show. Right at the merch table. I'm like, who is that? What is that? What is that? You get some some Andrews shirts and we got pure cut cocaine

over here, y'all. Yeah, I think it was. You know, and he's made good on his life. Did they like the show? As far as I know. I can't really, you can never really tell.

You don't hang out a little after to go to dinner? A little bit. No, we do sometimes. We have before, but Did your mom talk to him at all? No. No. No no they ain't straight no you know what it is what about your stepdad does he does he get it with your dad do they

does your dad resent him or does he thank him for stepping in no i don't i don't think they have any relationship whatsoever but it's but there's no hate at all because he knows my stepdad is is that is the guy you know i mean there's no like there's no fuck you there's no you know what i mean like you it's it's more like polite cordial like when he would come pick me up when i was younger once in a great while you know i'd be like hey okay hey you know it was real polite shit it was never like this battle because it's not like that that battle happens when it's almost like i with my ex-wife you know right that that my mom isn't my dad's ex-wife that's it's not like that it's only what one year well they were together for like three years married i don't even know how long before that a

couple years before but whatever maybe a five year total that's how little i know but it's different you know what i mean like when you when you sever marriage from from that kind of world of like because of going to jail and being up to no fucking good it ain't like you left me it's like nah man you left us you know what i mean yeah so i think that's i think it's more i think i think he knows that shit it's not like it's not like he has a blinded sensibility of what really happened he He's smart enough to understand. But I think the things that I took away from it are, I probably have his attitude. I have his anger.

I have his like, he's just brash, big dude, big, angry. It was always me. But the things I took from him that were positive were like, he was phenomenal with people. And I always admired that. He could talk to anybody, was scared of nobody. And I mean that in like a friendly way and also in a racial barrier barrier socioeconomic way right he would go to the contractor he would go to probably the worst neighborhoods we'd go to the toughest toughest parts of chicago

and he i'd come with him on jobs sometimes and he they loved him like in these communities where you know white people aren't supposed to go if we want to talk real talk you know people don't want to talk about white boys aren't supposed to go over there and he would go and people hey what's up rick people would love him because he was a man of the people and i was admired that that he anybody he could fuck with i don't care what what skin color how much money they had it wasn't just about rate it was just like he he could fuck with anybody so i love that about him and i think i took some of that as far as like receiving people that was a positive from a negative yeah i could i i don't give a fuck who you are where you're from i have friends at all different colors and races and

socioeconomic classes and that's that's something that he always made me i was so surprised old black women fucking loved him they were like he was this just this comforting confident very confident you know he no one could stand in his way from like getting work i think that was an admirable quality if you only transfer that into something else you know what i mean but um those things i took from him you know strong personality strong-minded strong will not weak you know what i mean things that that I see in other people that I admire. When someone's a hard worker that doesn't give a fuck when they get hit, when they get down,

it's like, I'll just get up again. Fuck it, hit me again. So that was a positive thing for me, especially when it came to sports, relationships, this business. You can't be a pussy and try to get into this game. You learn fast. You're like, oh, you just kind of have to be tough as fuck to like deal with shit all the time that's that's why you know you've got all

these people online that just want to shit on you and say the worst fucking things possible but for me i'm like my own mother looked right in my face and told me she hated me i was a loser i was like do you really think your fucking comments have any bearing on my fucking day? Good luck now, bro. I'm still dealing with some shit. Okay, your little fucking sprinkles of, oh, you suck, Sickler. I hate your laughs. I don't give a fuck.

By the way, that's your mom commenting on some of those. But you know what's so funny is when I was talking to Kreischer about this shit, that he was talking about some guy that was trolling him a little bit and i said you know you know what the crazy thing is anybody who says something fucked up online it's funny that we we sometimes we hear it because all the the positive shit is so much nicer to like in engage with fans that are like wanting to be a part of this fun world right and the haters okay whatever man people are oddly jealous i know that's a cheap way but you're you're obviously jealous that someone's having fun without you it's kind of like this strange childish complex of like fuck these motherfuckers like why

bro what does is that really what what is that really what you want to be like you you want to hate on shit just because but but also successful people don't have time to do that shit yeah they're busy yeah being successful or trying to be successful you hear jay-z you hear jay-z shitting on people all day like he didn't have any time to do he's like i'm getting on comments i don't know about this this shit ain't any good i'll tell you something meek mill you know get the fuck out of here so so i think i think so we're talking to chrysler and he said some guy was trolling him really hard it was pissing him off like really pissing him i was getting personal it was weird and he said some guy was trolling him really hard and it was pissing him off. Like really pissing him off. It was getting personal. It was weird.

And I said, you know what's crazy about that though? It's like, you think you can out shit talk me? I'm in here all the time. You don't even have the key, motherfucker. You can't get behind the door of how crazy this is. Also, you think I haven't thought what you're saying? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I can do this better

than you can. Way worse than that. In fact, sometimes when people say something negative, I troll them with something even more negative that they could they can't even hit about me that it's like good luck bitch you'll never get there right top that one yeah you'll never get this deep so i think half the time i i fuck around with it sometimes rogan's always like don't engage don't engage i'm like joel say rogan will say some things to me sometimes where i think. I gotta imagine he can't engage the amount of fucking comments. He doesn't at all.

But he also forgets, he forgets how famous he is. Right. And how not famous I am. So sometimes he'll be like, he'll go, like he said to me, what did he say the other day?

He was like, he, because we had moved and he was like, he's like, you gotta get yourself in a gated community, you know,

to, you know, you gotta do that at some point. And I was like, not you, dog. I know, you, you got to do that at some point. And I was like, not you, Doug. I'm not you, dude. I got a chain link fence around my fucking yard. It's like, he's so, but he's so famous, I think, because he disconnects from those worlds. Like, he doesn't read hating comments. He doesn't get into, but we have so much more fan engagement because we're at a more,'re at a just a more ground level you know he's built such an empire i think it's hard for him to know

because he's always like don't listen to that shit don't look at that shit and you're like well i see it more than you because it's there more than you you know what i mean like just there for for him it's like it's a flood for us it's you know it's a stream right you know it's like i'm fortunate though my fans even coming from the crab feast the ones that have come to the honeydew i have really good fans they're good people yeah they're smart they're intelligent they say shit like thank you for coming to em like thank you for coming to my city yeah and doing shows you know you get that handful of fucking idiots or whatever but i think for the most part people that talk shit are usually they usually really like your shit you know they, I posted something the other day about a guy at the comedy store.

I was on one, I was in a weird mood and I was shitting on this dude a little bit because he was having no fun. He was like this, you know, like, like a fucking, like a brat. And so I was fucking with him. I was like, what's your fucking deal, man? You're not having any fun. I saw you not laugh once at Allie. Like you re is this that bad of a night? And, um, whatever. Then I, I joked with them a little bit, had some fun, they laughed it off, and then I bought them a round of drinks.

I was like, I'm gonna buy you guys drinks so your night gets better, okay? The next morning I got a message and the dude was explaining why they were in a bad mood. And he was like, we had a tough night, shit was bad for us,

yada, yada, yada. You completely changed the night around. You bought us a round of drinks and when you went through on it and I just said it, he's like, it dynamically changed our whole night and our whole life. So it was like, yeah. And I really laughed at the night around. You bought us a round of drinks. And when you went through on it and I just said it, he's like, it like dynamically changed our whole night and our whole life. So it was like, yeah.

And I really laughed at the other comedian. He goes, Ian Edwards was good. You were garbage. But thanks for the drink. But thank you. But thank you for, yeah, Ian, appreciate it too. But it was like one of those things where you're like, oh, yeah, they weren't. You don't know why people are mad or upset or what what they're what's fueling their hate or their sadness or

their whatever i think people forget people have issues so you don't know i don't know but i i imagine most people that are hating they don't really fucking hate man they just have some shit that they're going through or some fucked up shit in their life that's not oh yeah that's all it really is right you know so tying it into your theme i think through failure and through heartache or heartbreak i think all that stuff needs i think we all need to keep it in the front of your mind it's like dude you don't know what the guy at fucking starbucks is going through you know he's an asshole to me when he served me my coffee it's like dude maybe his fucking brother has cancer right you know you don't know that shit it's so hard to it's hard to keep it in the front of your

head but that's also maturity that you eventually have to reach as well totally because that's an internal thing and you've got to give somebody the benefit of the doubt but i don't let it go too long no like i know some people have cancer too quit being a fucking you know what i'm saying i got prostatitis bro give me my fucking latte that's my shit so what speaking of this industry what sort of failures have you had like because there's a lot of people that'll say some ice cold shit to you too in this industry yeah oh yeah things to you what sort of failures have you had in this industry that uh you want to share yeah i mean i mean i've had no i mean i'm comfortable with mo i just told you my whole fucking story

about my father in prison dig I had to dig it out. Yeah. I appreciate you just throwing that at me. My dad was in prison. I was like, don't fucking say anything else. We'll talk when you get there. I think, I think the failures of the business are, I think it's funny. Like pinpointing one thing is tough, but I think it's an amalgamation of things that kind of come, that come together that really, that really feels like you're beaten down,

like not getting, um, you know, like not, like not getting Montreal. The, the, the ton of times that I did go out for,

it was such a big hard hit for me because you see your peers doing it. And that bothers you. Montreal, people don't know just for laughs is a comedy festival, but that fucked me up for a while when I was young. I never got it. You never did. I've showcased,

I want to say four or five times. Well, now you're so far beyond when you would quote unquote get it it doesn't matter anymore but when you're young you really want it and that's something that's just it's so powerful man it's like why don't i like i mean recently you know i'm trying to do a new hour and i can't have any no fish or but you know no one's biting no one's biting the bait so that's that's tough like because I have a good hour. I know I have this thing I really want to present before it goes dry to me, before it gets stale. Right. But I haven't had a lot of fish bite on that.

And that's kind of a tough, you know, your failures are all relative, right? When someone's like, I hate when somebody's like, why would they care? They have everything in the world. It's like, no, man, at fucking every level there is. Every fucking lily pad has you know has its own fucking weak side so like people just don't see that they just think oh it looks so they look so much nicer they're more set up they have more shit but you know multiple times i've had i had a i had a show with nbc that literally never went and that was that was probably one of my biggest heartbreaks

oh we wrote we wrote this thing about me and my family working at the dog park together seriously called the track we wrote this thing up and nbc after i didn't get snl another big failure when i got you when i got nick yeah yeah i tested i tested and went out there go to that how far walk us because i'm just an snl fan from childhood yeah no me too i still watch it the whole process and everything yeah i just watched sandlers the other night again well i've talked about it a lot i don't want to exhaust it but but what i i went out and i tested again um this is in front of lorn and this is the this is the if you watch the um like best of willfair on all that this is that moment on stage yeah testing and you can't see anyone not really they're down below there's only a couple of them right yeah

three or four all this for three or four people, not a live buzzing room. Nope. People at a fucking, at a table, like a business table. But they laughed, which was good. You know, the old rumor that they don't laugh. I was like, no, they laugh, which was phenomenal. But yeah, and then I went to LA. Then I got a phone call to come back to go have lunch with Lauren or whatever,

dinner or something. And I flew back and then still ended up not getting it was a face rejection. No, at least he was, he told you there. Yeah. He was really polite about it.

I mean, he told me in so many words, it was more like, you're not the right puzzle piece for this puzzle. That's really, in so many words, that was it. And I was,

I respected it. Cause it was kind of like, you know, he was saying, he was like, oh, you're talented, but you're,

you're talented. You're definitely talented enough to be on the show. It's just, I don't think it fits right now. So I, so, you know, but that, and then I went to NBC saying he was like oh you're talented but you're you're talented you're definitely talented enough to be on the show it's just i don't think it fits right now so i so you know but that and then i went to nbc and i was like i have this show idea and since because that's another thing i think they were like all right let's fuck with this dude yeah and we had this track this we wrote this thing we loved it it was so i i was so into it then they paired us with these other dudes and i was like okay this is okay maybe this has got some movement and then like and then i hear rumors that like the president's changing like there's going to be a new president and i was like okay

maybe we'll see who's still we're still in good shape right and then they were like what if we put it somewhere else i was like outside of the track and they're like yeah i don't think a dog track is entertaining and i was like it's the whole show you've never fucking seen anything i know still i know no i know i was like that's but it's, it's almost like saying that, you know, that's like saying the, the two broke girls, you know, if you were like. Sweetheart, call Michael Vick and see if he wants a guest star. We'll get this off the ground. It was just, it was just, they were so counterintuitive to like everything that I thought was going

to work. And we kept trying to, they kept trying to like fit new pieces in it. And then it, by the time it was over and it wasn't going to happen, it had changed to something totally different. You know what I mean? It was like, I don't know. I, the lead, me, I became probably like a black guy, a blind black guy at a golf course.

You know what I mean? It was something absurd. I was like, what the fuck is this script, dude? It wasn't even, it wasn't even us anymore. It disappeared. So that was big. That one hurt a ton. That one hurt a lot because I really thought it was dope and it

was about my family it was about addiction it was it was if shameless was a real comedy you know because shameless is is literally like it's like my chicago family trouble family but i wanted to make it an honest sitcom comedy like a like how can we make that the funny version you know so um that hurt because it's i fucking really wanted it to go. I wanted to at least make the pilot. I was like, give me a shot to make this fucking pilot. And we never even got around to making the pilot. So that was, that shit sucks

because you're like, fuck, we put so much effort and time. And then it gets you in a place where you're like, man, maybe I'm not that good of a writer. Man, maybe I'm not that good of a comedian. Man, maybe I'm not that good in the room. Man, I'm, all of these things. Maybe I'm not that good.

Period, yeah. It trickles down to you at the end of the night going, I guess I'm not that fucking good a comedian, man. Maybe I'm not that good in the room, man. I mean, all of these things. Maybe I'm not that good. Period. Yeah. It trickles down to you at the end of the night going, I guess I'm not that fucking good. Maybe they don't want me. So, which is bullshit. You know, you know, in retrospect, you're like, well, they wanted you in the fucking first place. It's just things don't work.

Things don't always work. But I've had that in my career a few different times. You know, I've been fucking cut out of shit. I've talked about that before too. I got been cut out of stuff where you talked about that before too i got been cut out of stuff where you're like what i think i did great i mean just last year i did i did the room with franco and those guys and i totally got cut out you want to have a nice laugh of the audience go watch the room i'm in like five scenes i say nothing really you're on camera oh yeah bro oh my

god in the first two minutes you see my fucking head couldn't cut around they left me in that bitch and i didn't say one word in fact i made a trailer and i put it up on instagram for a while i ended up taking it down but i did like a super trailer of me and all my scenes and i'm just that yeah and i was like i was like this summer andrew santino is in the room and it was like dramatic music and then at the end i was like but he doesn't say one fucking line. I didn't say shit. I had said shit, but I just got sliced. I've gotten sliced out of a bunch of different stuff.

And I'm not throwing anybody under the bus. I'm not being disrespectful. It's just that happens. It happens sometimes. But again, you get in your head. What did I do? What did I do wrong? I thought I ripped.

It's not that. There's a million factors that go into play into these things that you have zero control over you know so that's that the note of the business is none of it is fair and none of it makes sense out of your head now don't even think you're coming into something fair no yeah if anybody's looking to have to be a part of this world not only is it not fair but none of it's going to make sense i think that's the biggest thing yeah no not at all this is the the business is just a microcosm of what the world is like it's like it's confusing people have power that don't deserve it people don't get things that do deserve it people uh the those that are in control oftentimes have no fucking idea what they're talking about i mean that's the world that's the world in general of

any business i say that to my my um i say that to my parents all the time because they're always like, oh, what are they like? I'm like, they're just like whatever business you work for. It's the same thing. There's someone up there. There's someone right here. There's someone down there. We're all trying to work to get up. There's the same kind of guy is in the business here that's in sales somewhere else. And marketing here, it's the same thing. It's just ours is is more of a there's more of a window on the business america knows more about the business so they because they see it they hear about it the zeitgeist and meta shit you know you chose like uh entourage and you learn about the business that doesn't happen with guys who are like fucking you know window blind salesmen you don't know

about that you don't know their competitive bullshit world so you know i i think i think all that stuff kind of still waiting on these veneers yeah where are these venetians give me enough drop lines please i hate those fucking blinds we never had those venetians not uh no what's the the what are the long ones called that every fucking apartment in california uh i don't know man curtains is it vertical blinds maybe probably vertical blinds we never had i used to have slap well no because we have cold weather slap windows yeah those i never saw those so i moved out here either i was like air just comes through all the time like yeah i'm like okay i used to have a lady's cats would come in

my apartment because i'd leave them open and they could sneak right in oh yeah slap lines slap windows are bullshit my first my second apartment out here had slap windows and then in the winter florida ceiling too if you don't know florida ceiling where wind comes and blows shit in them and everything else there's no screen even when you close it it's not closed that's what the slogan should be slap windows even when you close they're never still open yeah we're still open heat gets out if you're trying to heat your little apartment up because it's cold, right out the window. Fuck that. And people are like, don't get cold. California does get cold at night.

It does too. And the winter gets fucking cold. And the heat would seep right out. I used to have two space heaters on either side of my fucking bed because my old room, there was no, no insulation is not even a real word to this motherfucker. I don't know what they built it out of. Just scrap metal. I don't think there they built it out of. Just scrap metal. I don't think there was wood.

I think it was just metal. A bunch of old stuff. The animal stuff in the walls. It was just old mattresses they just threw in there. Yeah, old mattresses and shit. It was so cold in that fucking room. It was so fucking cold, and I would have to... And the windows out here, windows in California, got paper thin.

I mean, this is a window in California. That is a window. And man, it would get so cold. I'd have a space heater on either side of the bed, and it would get nice in the middle of the night, and then if I'd wake up to piss, the foot of my bed would be fucking Antarctica freezing. I'd go my little button. Bones get all stiff and shit. Oh my God.

Goddamn. Take my little dick out, couldn't piss, my little tiny penis, I'd have to push it right back out of my body. Prostatitis. Got a prostatitis. That's what might have started it. Yeah. I'm going to blame that fucking apartment.

Giving me trouble in my booty, man. What else? What other failures have you had? I mean... Let me ask you this. Can you go to... I think I did. I'll give you one.

Go ahead. You know, I have... This is odd. I did last season of MTV's Punk'd and... It's one of my favorite stories. Get them, Russia. Well, get them, Russia. People still hit me on that. Well, I thought last season of MTV's Punk'd. It's one of my favorite stories. Get them, Russia. Well, get them, Russia. People still hit me on that.

Well, I thought it was going, I'll say this. It wasn't a failure, but I thought it was going to be a success. The show? Yeah, like I thought it was going to move my needle a lot. I see. You know, like I was excited. I was like, I wrote this thing. I'm one of the main cats on this thing.

You were great on it. Thank you. I was like, it's the revival. I was so excited to like, you know, that was my first thing that gave me some hope that i was like people are gonna see me i wasn't just grinding doing stand-up every night this is a way for them to like maybe get my name on a little part of the map not blow up but i just wanted and it didn't yield almost anything i mean internally in the business people saw it a little bit but it was so non a non

factor that hurt my feelings a lot because I put so much fucking work into that show. And I wrote I wrote almost every other bit that I was in. Really? Yeah. I wrote most of the bits for myself and I was one of the writers. So I wrote I ended up helping to write all the bits that ended up on the air. But I just it was that that hurt a lot. It spent I spent a lot of my life in that room working on that show, on the air. But I just, it was that, that hurt a lot. It spent, I spent a lot of

my life in that room, working on that show, grinding it out. And then when it didn't do anything, it didn't, nothing happened. It was like the wind right out of my fucking sails. I was like, oh shit, it hurt. It hurt. Cause we put so much work into it. And then I thought, is this going to be the rest of the time? Is this how it's going to be? Cause it wasn't a failure, quote unquote, cause that, that word is, you know, that word is, it's ambiguous. What does that mean? What is a failure really? But it just didn't go the way that I want. So I felt like I failed. I felt like it was a failure. I was like, God damn, I can't believe this didn't work. I thought that was going to be a way to boost me. But you just learn in the business,

it's not a failure. Nothing is really a failure. It it's just it didn't work out you know maybe the way you wanted and then you try it again with something else and then that does a little bit better hopefully you stick with it yeah then it just becomes my last project right that's all becomes and i don't want i didn't want punk to be my last fucking project no i mean my previous project yes yeah yeah my last and final no yeah yeah it just becomes a thing you did and i have a slew of things that i did that you know are just things you did i did a fucking show for yahoo with malin ackerman and tom arnold be a yahoo sports show and you want to talk about a real failure that bitch didn't go anywhere no one even knows it exists i was gonna say i don't know i've ever heard malin ackerman and malin came on comedy jam that's where i met her she's a boss i

love her but uh i had no idea it Was that on TV or was it digital? Yahoo was going to create two first television shows. Paul Feig had a show called Outer Space. And ours was the other one. It was called Sin City Saints. It was about a basketball team in Vegas. Which, by the way, I remember. Yeah.

Well, when I saw you in Austin, weren't you working with Baron Davis? Was that that show? Yes. Yes. Yeah. BD was on the show. And it was Rick Fox. We had a slew of great people that came through to do cameos and guest stars.

And it didn't matter, bro. Dan Bacadal, who's an incredible fucking actor, was on the show. Toby Huss, who is one of the great... You know who Toby Huss is? This is how cool this dude is. He's done so much dope shit. Toby was, if you remember, uh um national lampoon's vegas vacation okay okay do you remember when he buys the license nick papa giorgio on the strip yes

that was toby huss the guy that was the sinatra the sinatra impersonator okay when he's like chic the lights kids see your name in lights and he gives him the fake license and he has to come back so that that's toby huss that actor he's a fucking incredible he was also um do you remember the adventures of pete and pete do you remember that show was a nickelodeon shows many many moons ago but he was already the strongest man in the world he was this incredible character and i would you would never have guessed this is the dude he He changes shape, man. But the story that I think he told me was he was working Vegas and he was doing Sinatra impersonations

and they heard him and were like, that's so good. We need you to do this thing. So he got that role, I think through the Sinatra impersonations to do the selling the, you know,

licenses underage life, whatever he was saying. It was so funny, man. He was so good. But that show was stacked with people.oo came out with these two shows did no fucking promotion i mean nothing i mean nothing do we did we did promo in austin at south by southwest like what the fuck that's for the business you know what i mean that's all that but we didn't do anything else there was no tv ads like where would they put them i guess but we're supposed to be on yahoo as their first

television show launch and um both of them paul feig show no love our show didn't fucking exist i don't even know if you can find that shit anymore but that's they just marissa mayor who i think was the ceo of yahoo at the time she was banking on it and i think they lost enough money that that year that they just washed our show they didn't even try to like put them out for free i mean i put that shit on youtube for free yeah i don I don't know. People, I don't know. It's just, that was a big fucking failure. And that one didn't hurt that bad because I didn't know if it was going to be anything. I was like, oh, this is just a fun

show. I get to go shoot in Vegas. I lived in fucking Las Vegas. But, um. You did live there while you shot it? I lived in Caesars Palace, dog. Oh, what's that like? It just sounds miserable. It's a nightmare. Yeah. It's a fucking, it's a gun in your mouth. I, I, fly in Friday. I'm getting a fuck out Sunday. that is more than enough so for me now that i've spent all this time in vegas the only advantage is good food we i ate good food every night of my fucking life you

know every night of my life i was like isn't caesar's the isn't that the like one of the best buffets in the world yeah it's the highest rank but i but i mean nobu was in the basement fucking cordon ramsay had a place. All of these dope restaurants. So we got to eat that every day. That was an advantage. And partying a few nights was fun. But living in there was, now that I go back, here's how I do it. I fly in.

Another terrible flight out of Burbank into Vegas. Garbage. Garbage. Yeah, that's death. That's death. I fucking can't stand it. I fly in early in the morning on like a Friday. Party through the day. Pool, then party all night,

all into Saturday, and I leave Saturday afternoon. I don't ever stay another day. You don't need it. You don't want it. You don't need it. That's like 36 hours is just enough. Yeah, because you lost money. I promise you lost money.

That city's not built on winners. I promise you lost money. Actually, the sign should say winners. I promise you lost money. Actually, the sign should say that. I promise you lost money on the way out. Even when somebody's like, oh no, man, I came. I'm up. I hate when guys say that. I'm up. You're not up shit. You're not up shit. Because it matters overall, by the way. You're up right now.

I'm up 400 bucks. Next year, you're going to go back and lose 5,500. Don't worry. At the dog track. They have a dog track in Vegas? They should. They should definitely have one. That's a degenerate fucking city. They got a hockey team, and they're going to get a fucking football team.

And that was back when we did that Yahoo Sports show. People were like, it's a fucking sports team in Vegas. It's a stupid concept. It's not going to happen. They used to mock us. They were like, that's just a dumb show idea. It's not going to happen. They have a hockey team that goes to the Stanley Cup last year.

I know. It's unbelievable. I'm so mad at that shit. You got the Raiders coming, what, in a year or two. Well, that's not going to make a difference. You know, nothing's going to happen out there. I don't know. They gave up their greatest player to the Chicago Bears.

I think a lot of people from, like, L.A., fans from other teams now have a reason to go to Vegas. I think that's going to happen. Yes, it's another reason because they already love Vegas. We drove by that stadium. People love Vegas. It was fucking sick. Amazing.

But it's also, like, it's just another reason for people to go there and spend more fucking money. For Vegas, I can't believe they haven't had sports teams. Why wouldn't you after all these years? I mean,

I know that the, I think the gaming restrictions were strict, but at some point they knew it's a market that has to exist if you want more fucking people to go out to that goddamn desert. And no,

I'm not shitting on Vegas, but good God, that fucking place. People are bringing their babies to the casino. I'm like, who are these animals? Bringing their fucking two-year-old

child. Smoke all over the place and shit. The fuck? Dude, the craziest shit, you see people's babies out at like 2, 3 in the morning. Yeah. Awake-ass babies. Rolling them through. Yeah. Oh, look, the flamingo. You're like, bet the fuck it. Go home, dude. Get the fuck out of here. It's a virgin hurricane.

He's fucking sucking on one of these. Should we take the baby back? Yeah, take the fucking baby back home. Take the goddamn baby back. So I've experienced it all, man. I've had a lot of good things happen in my life just as much as I've had ups and downs as far as this game goes. But like I said, maybe not failure. Failure as a word has a negative connotation.

It just didn't work. You know, things just don't work sometimes. And you just have to fucking roll with that shit. You have to get over it. Has there been anything in your life where it really almost broke you? And I don't mean business. I mean just something where you're like,

man, this has been the hardest thing I've had to deal with or get over or... Yeah, I think like um yeah I mean I've had a lot of I mean a lot like weird deaths family deaths people that have passed away that just you know you think you're maybe going to lose your mind a little bit or when it's all crumbling when you're not when I was broke and not making any money and i was trying to get a new job and i was living on nothing and living in a fuck i was living in a um uh a divided off dining room i mean like yeah here out here yeah yeah i was i was struggling and i think those moments are when you're like those almost broke me because it just you know you think

how old were you when you moved here I moved here the 4th of July in 2006 that was so weird it's everybody mine was Valentine's Day when I got here

oh really it was always a specific day I remember it too I pulled in on Valentine's Day in fact moving into our new house I was going through old bins and I found the U-Haul receipt

I kept from the 4th of July I don't know I'm usually not that guy. Yeah. Sentimental bullshit, no. But for some reason, I must have kept it because it meant something. But I moved here on the 4th of July in 06,

and I was 22 or 23, and I was living as, I don't know, man. I was living how I could live. I just had a couple of bucks. I was getting random pickup jobs here and there. I started to get worried. And then I finally landed another job that helped me out. Prior to that, did you have the moment with yourself of what the fuck am I doing?

Any crying, breakdown, emotional shit? It's real. I'm out here. I'm by my fucking self and this is fucking i had nights and i had nights in that old house in that that first house up in la that probably ruining that meal in that dining room just people trying to fuck the ghost of my cries people can't even eat meals there now i just want another goddamn biscuit will you shut the fuck up god damn ruining my fucking meat man yeah i i, I had nights with my mattress on the floor,

the old school days when the mattress was on the floor and I had a fucking $15 Ikea desk. It was my mattress and my computer and a desk. That's all I had. But I had many nights in there where I would stay up at night worried that I wasn't going to make enough money to be able to stay out here. That was the hardest worry.

That would break me down bad. I would get nervous because I never asked my parents for money. I never once asked for money and I never did ever, ever till this very day. I've never asked them. I never wanted to ask for money. So that was tough, man. I had a lot of nights where I was worried incessantly,

like how would I pay my cell phone bill? How would I pay for the rent plus this plus that? And then what would I have left over? And those nights are the fucking those were the worst i didn't have a ton of them i'm not i wasn't i'm lucky enough where i had i always got a couple of jobs to come through when i mean jobs i mean like random ass bullshit production work or assistant work or you know i would always have a little just enough to get through but you know those are the days when you're living check to check and you got a couple

of bucks left over in your bank account and i was worried i when i heard people i remember one time i remember hearing brett ernst um tell me that he had five grand in cash for an emergency at his house and i thought i was like i'm gonna go rob brett ernst i was like you better have a new emergency plan because i'm gonna rob the fuck out you also better have more than five thousand fucking dollars these days he was well this was i mean this was also what this was way this was 2007 or eight or something like that but i remember him saying that at a at a show at a stand-up show that we're getting paid 15 bucks um 15 bucks and you could get a free beer and that was a big deal like back in the day i mean i remember being like damn dude i'm fucking

it's heavy money getting I'm getting fucking paid. But I remember him saying that. He was talking, he was flirting with some girl or some shit and, like, joking around. He's like, you always got to keep some money. Santino, you got money in your house? And I was like, what? And he's like, you got a little bit like a side stash just in case? And I was like, what the fuck?

Side stash? My stash is in my pocket right now. That's all I have. It's 100 bucks in my pocket. I used to have fucking, i'd have nightmares that i would move home yeah because i couldn't afford it or save money and then while i'm so it would be this anxiety dream within an anxiety dream where i move home and then i can't get in baltimore i can't get up on a monday i can't get up on a two wednesday you know what i mean and go do shows and now i'm

saving money but i'm not fucking doing what I want to do. That is a nightmare. I used to have that fucking nightmare all the time. I think Burr has a quote online about that. Burr talked about, he's like, you know, sleeping on a futon isn't the worst thing in the world. You know, Burr was saying that, like, the worst thing in the world is, like, living a life that you don't want to live.

Yeah. Sleeping next to someone that you're miserable with. Yeah, that you don't love. That you don't love. Yeah, he's like, you know, comics that sleep on futons. You know, there's this weird connotation of like, you know, you're a poor comic. It's like, oh, that's the saddest thing in the world.

Like, what a shitty life. But if you're doing what you love, it can't be that fucking bad because it could be way fucking worse. In my 30s, I was still sleeping on a mattress on the floor. I didn't have a bed frame. Bed frame's real adult shit. That's adult shit, bro.

I was two box springs in a mattress making me feel like I was higher off the ground. Yeah, that's adult shit bro i was a two box springs and a mattress make me feel like i was higher off the ground that's just so out to go so far i want to be able to tie my shoes when i sit down on this fucking bed it gets weird too when you're used to falling a little farther distance onto a mattress and box spring on the floor than when you can actually just sit on it i felt good about myself but I could just sit on that. Look at me. Look at me. All the way up here.

All the way up here on this pillow. Three and a half more feet off the ground. Yeah, mattress on the floor was forever, forever for me. That was tucked it right in the corner. I didn't even know. I mean, I just didn't understand. I thought buying a bed set was such an absurd thing to do. I thought it was like an old person thing. Yeah, I was like, why the fuck would you need that?

The box spring is a box. It goes on the floor. That's what the fuck it's for. That's what it's for. I couldn't wrap my head around that shit until finally you see the luxury of it, and you're like, I kind of like this shit. I'm going to buy this shit. I mean, I'm just a fan of the struggle.

I'm a fan of the struggle, and that's the thing. You don't want to have it right now, though. I don't want to have it now. You're too old for that. But getting it, you appreciate it so much more when you get there. You appreciate, like, I mean, I slept on futons. I slept on people's couches. Lazy boy.

I lived in my car for a few weeks. I fucking, yeah, I've slept in Lazy Boy's. You know, I lived in the basement of my grandmother's place. I mean, i hung my clothes up on the gas pipes i remember one time going i don't know if that's a good idea and i was like yeah they are kind of hell i didn't even think that pop the pipe right out of fucking thing and kill everybody i was like i just need to play i strung up some stuff through the electrical too so we'll see if that works out if this bitch burns to the ground oh shit well the struggle is worth it and in the end it is and look at you now you've

got i'm dying up here what else do you have going on right now i'm shooting a show for fx that's going to come out in the fall i start in august it's me and little dicky the rapper oh yeah i saw you you promoted that a while back didn't you we just saw something i just threw it online that we got picked up um and then my podcast, Whiskey Ginger, where people can go check all that shit out online, go to Whiskey Ginger on all your platforms. And then I'm on the road. I'm touring a bunch.

I'm doing some shows with Rogan, which is incredible. And then I'm touring on my own. I saw the one you guys down in San Diego, that fucking arena you got there. 13,000 humans. That's gotta be nuts. Mind-boggling. At first I thought

I was going to be nervous, but then honestly it was the opposite. It was so invigorating. It was like the, the, the, the sound was so heavy. It was beautiful, man. It, like you couldn't, I feel like I couldn't fail. Do you know what I mean? Like you were like, this is so dope. All I have to do is do what I usually do. And I get this much response from this many people. A smaller room is way harder. I'll say that. Tiny rooms that would have gaps in them you know a 300 seater that's like half full yeah and they're they're they're mixed all around there's like a pocket of tears you want to talk about hurt you go watch a comedian hurt getting some laughs in those rooms no that's hard hour oh god so when Oh, God, fuck. Some laughs.

So when you do a 13,000-seater that are packed, that are comedy fans that want to be there, that are, they respect Joe's vouching, the reception and the welcoming is amazing. And because of Rogan, I've increased people that know me through him. So now sometimes I do the shows and half of these motherfuckers know me and it's great that you're like.

I love seeing it happen. It's incredible, man. It feels so good. You're one of the good ones. I've always it's great that you're like it's incredible man it feels so good you're one of the good ones I've always liked you you're just a good fucking dude ditto

yeah I love seeing you you have good energy I get excited we're all trying because at some point we gotta know we're in this boat we're doing this

fucking thing together we were talking about that outside I think the more singular you are the more alone you are you're gonna be at the top by yourself

it's gonna be tough what's the point well you're gonna be sad as fuck you can have it all I mean we know some of these guys I'm not trying to i know yes but we know these guys that some guys that get up there and they're all alone and it's weird you almost

feel bad for them that's so funny to say it's like they have all the things that they wanted but nobody to have fun with and nobody really enjoy it but themselves and that is some sad ass shit sad shit like you want to be like I got the biggest pool. It's like no one's coming over to swim. No one's swimming in the ballpark. That's a sad

that's a sad place to be. That is a sad place to be. Nobody wants to fucking hang. I mean and I've seen it a few times. I have some friends that have a lot of money and I have people

that aren't even my friends that are in our periphery that I'm just like ooh that's tough. I'd rather be with people. Yeah. I'd much rather be with some people that I think are cool,

that are a part of the game. So I think we all keep helping each other and making this thing happen and people keep going to live shows to support another comic. It'll only get stronger. We just have to cut out some of the negatives. Tom and Christina, they're bad people.

I think we need to slice them out. Fucking terrible. They're bad people. They're bad people. They keep we need to slice them out. They're bad people. They keep asking me to come on the show and I'm like, I'm not going to fucking do it. I'll be on your network but I'm not coming on your fucking show. You know that whole thing was a lie? That whole McDonald's thing? It was actually Arby's.

That's why the colors are the colors. Arby's threw their money up. Arby's threw their money up. Hardee's. Hardee's. Not even Carl's Jr. Hardys. Hardys. Not even Carl's Jr. Hardys. But

I appreciate the community. I appreciate all the fans, all the people that are listening, that are watching, that do their thing. We'll keep doing it if you keep fucking coming through. Well, I appreciate you coming on and opening up. I know it's not always easy. Thank you. I hope my family doesn't see this. This will be terrible.

I don't know. We're big in prison, so you're down. He's not in prison anymore, man. We'll see. I got a feeling he's going back. Will you one more time promote whatever you'd like? Again, please, your website. Just go to andrewsantino.com.

This weekend, I'm in Bridgeport, Connecticut, baby. Stress Factory. Next weekend, I'm at the La Jolla Comedy Store. Chito Santino on Twitter and Instagram. And go listen to Whiskey Ginger on YouTube and all the podcast platforms. People have yelled at us for a while. It's not on this. I was like, it is. It's on all those. It's on all the shit. People were yelling.

It's everywhere. It's everywhere, man. I promise you. People are like, I'm not on Apple. I don't have iPhones. It's everywhere. Then you can also go to, like, for my site, thehoneydewpodcast.com you can go there and just stream it right from there yeah you can't find it there you go it's everywhere it's everywhere thank you brother i love you i appreciate you coming on i am ryan sickler on all social media ryan sickler.com we'll talk to you all next week I'll see you next time.