The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Annie Lederman - AnnieDew

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

My HoneyDew this week is comedian, Annie Lederman! (Anniewood, Trash Tuesdays) Annie Highlights the Lowlights of overcoming an assault by a high school teacher. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour June 23 & 24: Tacoma, WA July 7 & 8: Appleton, WI SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Game Time -Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code HONEYDEW for $20 off your first purchase

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler, on all your social media. I want to say thank you guys for supporting the special. YouTube did what YouTube does to me all the time and they pulled it out of the algorithm. They limited the ad. So killing the views on it. But you know what? It's still kicking ass. So thank you. You got to know about it. You got to go see it. If you haven't watch it, share it with some people. That's how that shit gets around and gets helped out um and if you gotta have more then you gotta check out the patreon here listen it's the honey do with y'all and i do this show with y'all and

y'all have the wildest stories we just talked to a guy who needed a double lung transplant gets it because somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody in his circles kid is dying and they have are a 100 match then marries the donor's girlfriend they're about to have a baby it's five dollars y'all no other tears or none of that shit honey do with y'all go sign up you get a month free if you sign up for a year and you get the honey do a day early you're getting an ad free you're getting no additional cost and if you're looking for a new podcast to listen to, then listen to my old podcast, The Crab Feast. And today's guest actually has a kick-ass episode of The Crab Feast.

So go check that out. And June 23rd and 24th, I'm in Tacoma, Washington, July 7th and 8th, Appleton, Wisconsin. All right, there it is. Now you guys know what we're doing over here. We highlight the lowlights. I like to say these are the stories behind the storytellers. And technically, I'm very excited to have this guest back on The Honeydew.

Ladies and gentlemen, Annie Letterman. Welcome back to The Honeydew, Annie Letterman. Hi, guys. I'm still thinking about how little that guy's lungs are. He's got little kid lungs in there? No. He's got baby boy lungs. Do you know?

First of all, it's great to have you here. I think I have elderly man lungs. The odds of anyone being 100% match, and he gets to get it without getting in line, too, because it's a direct donor. Oh, wow. Yeah. And then the family wants to get to know him. And they fall in love. So he starts hanging around him.

And the last person he wants to meet is the girlfriend. He's like, she's – and all his friends are like – Oh, it's the girlfriend of the guy. Yeah, the donor. It's a kid. I was like, why are you – No, no, no. So he's hanging around this family.

And he's very uncomfortable because he's like, I have your son's lungs in me. Right. You know, like this guilty, I feel like I should, but also I'm wildly uncomfortable. And the girlfriend, but they're all telling him, you're just like him. You look like him. You act like him. And then the girlfriend falls in love with him. He took her breath away.

Well done. And the donor's parents don't care for her anymore after that. They feel like it's a betrayal. But they're married now and expecting a kid. $5, Patreon, how do you do with y'all? Why don't you plug and promote everything Annie Letterman real quick before we get into whatever we like to talk about. Okay, I have this upcoming weekend. Maybe, I don't know, dates or times.

But the first weekend in June, I will be at Magoobie's in Baltimore, your hometown. We share a white trash accent. I'm from Philadelphia um I'm gonna be in uh Salt Lake City in June I'm gonna be with Josh Potter I'm gonna be in San Antonio in June and then I'm gonna be in Philadelphia in August go to annielederman.com slash shows I have a podcast called Trash Tuesday and I have a podcast I really like. That's my own podcast. That's all my, from my heart with my boyfriend and a bunch of really cool guests called Annie Wood. They're both on YouTube. Check them out. All right. So I said officially back. Yeah. Well, I didn't, here's the thing. The things that happened to me in my life are pretty traumatizing. So it depends on where I'm at in my life when I tell the stories. And I think sometimes it's important for me to not tell the stories. That's like a big step in my recovery and stuff with having like some PTSD and stuff with it to not say the stories always.

stories always. And when I did do this podcast last time, I just was in kind of a little bit of a triggered state. And I didn't want to like, it's just a lot of times when I tell this story, my people kind of go like, well, what about your parents? Where were your parents? All this stuff. I'm really good with my parents. I have full like love and forgiveness and a really good relationship with them. So that was kind of what I was feeling. I was like, I don't want to put my parents through this again. You know, their friends listen to things I do. They meet people. They find out I'm a comedian.

And so that's kind of what I was feeling. Are they getting, did they get some of that? What? Have they had backlash? It's not like, I don't think they get like personal backlash. It's more just like probably just my own. Like there's no neighbors taking out the trash like where the fuck were you in high school where were you when she was

in high school they're not doing that seeing them at the wawa it's it's more i think just like wanting to like move on from the stories and not keep like pulling the bandaid off of them too too soon but with that said i've done a lot of work on myself and it's not really that much of a thing but sometimes you know like i'm sure you know sometimes when you tell these stories you get an influx of people telling you their stories and then you're like oh my god your dms are just filled with like stories and you're like oh okay and i still like when people share their stories with it's always like a you know two sides that's what this show is i mean our our inbox is full of a lot of dark stuff my meet and greets it's like i'm like people start talking to me and i go they'll be like my uncle

and i'm like okay um cash your card first and then we'll get to it. We take Apple Pay also. Baby, let's do the transaction so I don't have to do this. My uncle. It starts with my uncle. You're like, oh, I don't know. But I love when people share their stories with me too. It's like, you know, it's also I like being open. I like the people.

I'm also here. I've always been. For me, it's always been about the comedian or the guest. Like whatever they want. Like some people, you didn't want the episode to go out. So they were like, do you want to save it? I was like, no. Just delete it.

God forbid anything goes out, even if it's a mistake. Because as we know, some mistakes happen. And it's like, are they a mistake? Are they ever a mistake? Are they the funniest thing that's ever happened? The truth is, if you had released that episode and like if I – it would have been fine. It's just I have anxiety. I just, you know, I work a lot on my anxiety, but I have like that like spinniness where it's like, oh.

And I've had that like – I've had people on my solo podcast, girls will come on and they'll go, oh, is that your side? And I go, yeah. And they go, oh, that's – I have the same like good side. And I go, oh. Okay. Well, do you want to – I'll just sit on that I have the same like good side. And I go, oh, okay. Well, do you want to, I'll just sit on that. I'll, you could,

we can have my bad side. My bad side's still cute. But I'm like, well, we can switch sides or whatever. And they go, oh no, it's like, it's fine. And I'm like, okay. And then come the clip,

they're like, take it down. I don't want to post it. That happens to me multiple times. It's like, and I understand that I don't get mad at people because it's like, I understand you thinking you're good in the moment. And then there's just something

that like triggers you on that day where you're like, you know, you feel- Todd Glass used to call it podcast hangover. Yes. You wake up the next day like, what did I say? What did I do? Let me get that out of there. Yeah. And I think like, it's okay. You know, I haven't done anything. I'm never going to tell a story that's going to incriminate me. Like I, I, I'm good. I'm good on my end. I feel good about myself and stuff, but I think that I've done a lot of work and just

with like PTSD, it's like, um, well talk to us about that. What you don't have to talk to be specific about it, but PTSD, like what sort of work are you doing? Are you in therapy? I do ketamine treatment sponsored on Annie wood. What's up? right here on the honey do as well can you fucking believe it i did it did you do it oh yeah it's amazing i listen i'm so anti all that stuff and i was like you know what i did the six sessions i fucking it's amazing it was amazing it's amazing it was like a literal like you know when we all used to drink or do drugs we're grabbing shit by the

handful and the gal this seemed to be a perfectly prescribed it was right about 58 minutes for me because the last two minutes i find myself going all right i'm good all right i'm back i'm back i'm back but man i'm how many milligrams did you get i don't remember did you lie so you get the most i didn't think about that are you kidding me get the most sick again. Are you kidding me? I'm like, no, what? 15-year-old raver me? The first time it didn't work for me. 15-year-old raver me is like, are you serious?

I'm sponsored? This is like the craziest. I'm like, can I be? Like literally my ad person's like, what are your interests? So I can get you ads. I'm like, hair extensions and ketamine, I'm like hair extensions and ketamine. I'm like still waiting on the hair extensions. But it's like, it really is amazing.

But that helps. I've done a lot of ayahuasca. I do a lot of like plant medicines, stuff like that. I do breath work. You don't smoke cannabis, do you? I cannot. That is not a medicine for me. So that's the one plant you don't fuck with.

And by the way, not only is it not a medicine for me, it's not a medicine when I'm hanging out with you. It's the opposite. It's a poison. I would wake up. I would be like, first of all, no voice. Like, our job is to talk, you know? And I will be looking at camera. And if you have a problem with that, I want you to visit why you have a problem with that.

Why don't you want to be included in the conversation? I'm sorry I include the audience, okay okay so i will be looking at you guys because you're here with us okay so just be a part of the team and grow up um anyway so i will wake up this is my voice this is my job this is my instrument after hanging out with you at the comedy store can't talk can't breathe i'm like i could have may as well have woken up in the sahara reaching like the only water's a mirage like i'm just like just cake chalky throat can't think can't think head in a cloud just so fucked up that's you you do that i think it's the plant it's you i think it's the plant that does that. It's you. Is it me? I think it's the amount that's being rolled and passed.

And we do have good conversations, so then I don't want to leave. Always. I was your gossiping the other night. I heard about it secondhand from my boyfriend. You came back. You came back. I was like, what did I miss? This is fucking bullshit.

And then you didn't respond to my voice memo. And then I saw you and I go, well, when are we going to talk about this? And here we are. We can't talk about that. But we can't talk about that. I know I have certain people that I'm like, I can't even have you on my podcast. Cause we would just bleep the entire thing. But I, but yeah, I do that. Just a lot of stuff just, and I've been really working on my anxiety and I watch all day. I watch like Joe Dispenza videos. I watch Esther Hicks videos. I watch like anything about subconscious reprogramming, anything about moving your thoughts to positive thinking.

I do a lot of work. In the morning I wake up and if I have negative spinning thoughts, I just, I try to zap them out of the way right away. Gratitude. I will just do anything to fight for my freedom and my happiness and my peace. Yeah. Because I'm just not interested in being fighting all the time i think that i had all these things happen when i was little and i took them on as like a part of me that's what i wanted to ask you specifically is this a sort of um and again we do we're not going to get specific we can get specific but

a stacking of things or you know sometimes it's just one incident for people um so this was a series of incidents that occurred over childhood i had like when you go to do your work on what are you working on what am i working on i'm working on how things are manifesting for me in the present moment good what am i like what are my ruminating thoughts what do i keep coming back on but i i got over i was assaulted by my teacher in high school which was like my big event of my life that was really and how old were you i was 15 and then and my teacher was like this white dreaded guy i went to this like school that is like the fact it's still running is crazy well my parents made some sort of like plea bargain deal. I don't know what happened, but it didn't, there, there wasn't in my, my position justice. So I'm always kind of fighting

between wanting to like Chris Hansen this bitch and then also just like move on. So I always just kind of go back and forth like, you know, about it. But what I realized was when I was like, I used to tell people this story like i wasn't like in the brownies i wasn't a girl scout or anything but it was almost like my traumatic experiences were like these patches that i had like acquired and i felt like people needed to know the things that had happened to me to like understand who i was and and these things that i had gone through and i think because i did end up taking my teacher to court and you did yeah and there was really very little support.

That's really when it got worse. It was like being called a liar. Right. My dork handle would be stuck loogies on when I go to my car. It was like crazy. It was insane. Whoa. So the students also were against you.

The teachers were not supporting me. I get emails from them every once in a while. My teachers will be like, oh, I wish I had been there for you. And it's like, it's just move on. Why? Because it came out later that he actually. Well, there's so many that keep coming out. That's what I'm saying.

It's not just him. No, it's not just the teacher. It's the school. It was a lot of, and maybe it's all, I don't know if it's all schools. I only went to the school. But it's like more keep coming out. Like I had this one disciplinarian who was like, I would look back and I go, you know, I actually liked that guy because he was the only one that had boundaries in this high

school because it was a school for juvenile delinquents. And I think that. That's where you went? And I think that kids that are like on the fringe or looked at as like not trustworthy are the ones that are the biggest targets because they're like, no one's going to believe these kids, you know? So do you mind pausing for a second why are we in a juvenile delinquent school can we just jump back a little bit all right this is where my parents come in all right then we don't have to talk about that just they just sent me to it it's so weird i

wasn't kicked out of the school stole a car no I didn't start really stealing cars until I went to the school. Until I was surrounded by young criminals. But the school had a good art program. Exactly. The school had a good art program. Or they thought it did. Turns out the art teacher likes to Jackson Pollock the students, the back of the students' knees with only white paint. But you have to laugh.

If you don't laugh it's weird but um no don't be scared it's fine but um but yeah it's it uh was like a weird school it was an alternative school so a lot of kids were kicked out or was kids with like learning disabilities and i was like starting to like smoke cigarettes and stuff but i wasn't like really that bad okay so you're not getting arrested no i wasn't yeah i was like sneaking out like there i was doing some stuff yeah i did that but but i think keeping me around well-behaved kids would have been the right move rather than like sending me to worse behaved people that are fucking lit their schools on fire and shit there are people that had just done crazy things i mean i was like having to call

people's parents like your daughter's on heroin like when i was like 14 you know it was just a lot it was a lot of of uh intense stuff going on in there i always say how long were you there for a few years um i was there when i started there they let me skip eighth grade too so i was like this place is so cool but the it's there was no education i learned nothing it was more of like warehousing us there were pillows instead of chairs. Is that fun? Just pillows on the ground. No chairs.

Pillows on the ground. I mean, some of the rooms had chairs, but a lot of the rooms just had pillows and you would lay on them. We had a class called movie class. Nuh-uh. Yeah. And guess what? We did that. Just watch movies.

After lunch, you come home smoking opium at lunch. Come back to school. We were smoking opium. Where do we get opium? I know where you got it because we had it. I don't know where we got opium. Everybody would get it at the Grateful Dead shows. They would all go to the parking lots and buy the opium and then would come back and filter.

And I'm like, where the fuck are you getting opium from? At lunch, we would go to Le Cern Ave in Philly. And there were just like streets you could go to and we would get wet. Is that the PCP? I think it's PCP. I don know it was just called wet and i smell i just wouldn't smoke anything i think that's weed dipped in i would do i think that's what it tasted weird there was a squeakage it was a squeaky vibe yeah you had open drug markets and yeah drug markets and so we were just doing whatever. But the school – You would go back to school like that?

They didn't care. But, I mean, you could actually function enough. There was a day. There was a guy named – what should I call him? I'll just call him Luke. He's actually – I want to say who he is because it's, like, so funny how successful – what he got successful in. Oh. I want to say who he is because it's like so funny how successful what he got successful in oh so our school had a

glass blowing studio and he would always he was very talented at glass blowing and he he what

he made bongs and now he's like one of the biggest bong oh is that right one of the only bong companies

he's like world class bong blower he's like top bong seller that's crazy it's like the it's like I'm a comedian he's a bong companies he's like world-class bong he's like top bong seller it's like the it's like i'm a comedian he's a bong seller i have like one friend who's like uh he's a professor and and all this stuff but it's like and then the rest of everyone's like in jail prison or in jail dead or working at like a verizon kiosk you know you're like yeah but it's really i mean it's a it was an interesting thing and it was weird being

a juvenile delinquent too because i was like like who do i look up to like mobsters like who am i looking up to people that die and shoot people like it was weird you don't have any heroes really when you're a juvenile delinquent who am i looking up to people that get like visited in prison um but you go home at night right it's not us oh yeah no i go home at night but anyway so these so this guy that became a bong lord a bong king he um he and this guy brian picked me up for school one day because they lived in my neighborhood and they picked me up and they like we go to this place. We used to go to this place, Rex Avenue near the school. It was a dead end.

And then it was just like open, like Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Park, like beautiful, like woods and stuff. But we would drive down to a dead end to smoke weed. It's like, that's what we're dealing with, with the brain cells of us juvenile delinquent ding dong kids into a place where we could just be boxed in at any time. Shot from the windows siren just went off when i said that that's how ridiculous was a siren the universe was like yes that was bad so we got out of rex avenue on this dead end and they like hot box the car and i just

am higher than i've ever been i'm like guys and this isn't just weed this is the fucking no this is we this is we all right but it's a level of weed that I'm not. I'm 14 years old. I've been smoking weed for like a year and a half. I'm like, I am so fucked up. I'm like, I cannot go to school. And they think it's so funny, but I'm like, I'm literally unable. I can't do it.

And they drive me in anyway, laughing at me, open the doors up. I'm sure the smoke bellows out. I'm like, how am I going to pull this off? Because if you get caught, caught, you get in trouble. But it's like, they will let you. They are trying to tell you something. So. They'll let you what?

They'll let, like, if you're not, like. They'll say something, but you're not going to be. You can't get caught, like, selling weed. You can't get caught, like, with a't get caught like with a joint like they were loose you know but i was like i think this i'm too fucked up to even like i wasn't able to like talk we walk in they go surprise it's movie day we just had a day off from school where that we were just watching movies all day for no reason the whole day the whole day the whole school was just watching. And the school was small. I had 17 kids in my graduating class.

It was tiny. Class? The whole class. Not just one class. Holy shit. So I went there and then I skipped up. They let me after I took my teacher to court, all of a sudden they were like, you can do two grades in one. Did you know you can graduate in a few months? Is that really they let you fucking just get the fuck out of there?

Did they? But there was a disciplinarian. So,ian so okay go ahead there was a disciplinarian who was like our math teacher our science teacher one of those things and he was an asshole he was the only one that was like yelling at us and making us do stuff and as i grew older i started to look at him and go you know what i actually really liked that guy this is the guy you said you know he really like had boundaries and we taught called them all by their first name, which was like, don't send your kids to a school where they call, like, it's so you don't fuck each other. Like it's Mr. And you know, Mrs. Like, but anyway, so, um, so he, um, yeah. So I was like, oh, he was, he was good, you know?

And then I get tagged on Facebook from some of my old classmates and they go, another teacher. And it's an article about how they caught him with kiddie porn. Him. Kiddie porn. So the reason he wasn't trying to fuck us. The reason he wasn't trying to fuck us. You were too old. We were too old.

And I appreciate him. He actually was the best teacher at the school because he at least wasn't. Isn't that fucking insane? Isn't that great? Isn't that amazing? So then, okay, so there was him. We had a shop teacher who got caught with it. He turned all the girls annie forever the girls in my grade seventh grade they would all say

ryan he looks down our shirts he stands over us and looks down our shirt our boobs and we're on you know we're seventh grade boys like nah you don't even have boobs every year and then he's like the smaller the better like sis the little smaller sisters of like if you and i went to high school together your little sister now has them, they would say it. And they would say – and boom, motherfucker turns his fucking computer – school-given laptop and forgets to take the kiddie porn off. And boom, he gets busted. After all these fucking years, those girls were 100% right. It's so nasty.

It's so weird. I know. You do get a vibe. You're like, is this weird i used to have one of my teachers would um she'd be like you need to wear like less suggestive clothing i was it was like backless shirts were in then she's like the male teachers are like having trouble that i'm like i don't really see how that's my problem first of all i'm a minor and if the male teachers are even openly discussing it with anybody why are you coming up to me like I did something, bitch?

Like, go fuck yourself. My husband's fucking someone that wears shirts like you. Exactly. It's like so nasty. But so anyway, so I find out about the kiddie porn. Then this other guy hits me up, this classmate, and he goes, oh, I found out that the teacher that, so when the teacher had assaulted me, there were two art teachers,

the one that assaulted me, and then this other one who I had always really liked, he had always been someone I could go to. So when this happened, when my teacher jerked off on me, I went to the other art teacher and I told him. And he had been his student.

Oh, he had been a student of the teacher. He had been his student and then became this teacher. And I told him and he said, well, I'm torn because part of me

feels like a father and I want to go like kick his ass. And the other part of me wasn't there so I don't know what happened. Jesus. And I'm like, okay. So then he makes me go to my my uh

was anyone there for you um was there my guy friends were kind of like wanted to kick his ass was there a female teacher anyone not really no i went to my female teacher and she just was like because we all what happened was so the teacher that assaulted me and his wife were like these like white people with dreads. He's married too. Yeah. And she was my English teacher. So they would get us over.

They groomed us. They'd be like, come over. She was like tutoring me. They'd get us alcohol and weed. They would get us like Parrot's Bay, like coconut rum, like kid drink shit. And they'd be tutoring me. And then they convinced my parents. This is where it gets like weird with my parents. but it's like, here's what I realized with

my parents. They, my mom, and it all comes full circle because my mom has revealed more information from her childhood to me where it goes like, oh, okay. She didn't have the same experience. She had the opposite experience. So in her head, the other things were happening, but I'll get to that in a second. So they were having me over and some of my friends over to work on stuff. They convinced my parents that we should be able to sleep over and my friend's parents that we should be able to sleep over. We're going to be going to college soon. It's healthy for us to start having some distance. And we're working late. We're writing these papers late. I've never had to write a paper at the school. You know what I mean? They're like, ding, ding, ding, here's your paper.

I mean, I was putting like clip art in my papers. My papers were like pictures. I was like, here. It's like hieroglyphics. They didn't care. I was like, not real school. So my parents agreed to this. My friends' parents agreed to this.

They had like a room. My parents were like, oh, we have this extra futon. They like made a room for us in their house. Okay. And everyone's just sort of like, this is normal. How many other kids? You and one more? It was me and my best friend at the time.

And then other kids would come hang out. And then it started being like, oh, let's get naked. And like, oh, let's take baths together. How long before that? I honestly don't know how long I was there for. I think it was like a couple months. Like your senior year? Oh, just a couple months.

Well, I was 15 turning 16 or maybe I just turned 16. It was like, I graduated when I was 16 from there. So it was like that year. So you're a kid. Yeah. And they're getting naked with you. Yeah. And he's the only naked dude because he's

got a wife no there's other boys there they're naked and then and they are they also from your school yeah they are and so then it's like yeah it's like hard to remember because i haven't told this in a while i don't feel traumatized telling this though we'll see tomorrow no you don't have to edit it i said baths your baths and stuff and so i was any way to get you naked after a little while right and just like weird and like oh wouldn't it be funny if we're all naked and then so then his wife went out of town for something and my friend like wasn't allowed to come over for some reason so it was just me and him one night, and I woke up, and he was watching me sleep. And I was like, ew, creepy. I was like, ew, creepy.

Even though all this stuff was like, but you're in it, so you're like, is this weird? Even though obviously it seems weird now, it was like, you're just like a kid. Is this what people do? I don't know. It was very weird. I didn't want to be naked.

I wasn't a comfortable kid like that. I wasn't a naked kid. Oh, he's watching you sleep naked well i wasn't naked i don't think when i was sleeping but i mean they were all we were all naked it was weird so anyway so then uh i wake up to watching me sleep and i was like so weird oh get out of here so then he leaves and then in the morning his wife calls i pick up i'm'm like, yeah, he was watching me sleep. It's so weird. Like, just, like, outing it. Like, what a weird thing.

And then she's like, can I talk to him for a second? So then they have a talk about whatever. And then he comes over, and he's like, I really want to, like, I want to draw you. It's like I have all these, like, bodies around me, and I'm not drawing them. He's like, can I draw you nude? And I remember thinking, like, oh, my friend would do it. You know, I was like bodies around me and i'm not drawing them he's like can i draw you nude and i remember thinking like oh my friend would do it you know i was like i really was not wanting to do it you know but i left my socks on and i remember thinking like that was my bartering i was like okay well then that'll be like i'm not really naked or whatever doing this

at the school or this is at his house and he, and I have to go to work. I worked at Color Me Mine, like the pottery. Yeah, I remember Color Me Mine. So I had to go to work there soon. I had like my little khakis or whatever my uniform was. And I, and he was like, let me draw you nude. And I just like peer pressured myself. You know, I was like, okay.

I was like, he wouldn't do it. It's like, would be too crazy. So then I'm like laying on my stomach and he's like, it's better if I'm naked too. He gets naked, sits on the back of my legs and jerks off on me. No. And I'm like completely like in shock, can't talk, like frozen, can't believe it's happening. I get up, I go to the bathroom. I just pull my, I don't even wipe his jizz off.

I just pull my pants on. I'm so freaked out. Like I just pull my pants and I go to work. And I don't even wipe his jizz off. I just pull my pants on. I'm so freaked out. Like I just pull my pants and I go to work. And then I'm talking to my – You said nothing? You just silently got up and left? He said nothing? I don't think so.

I don't think he said anything. I mean, who knows? He might have just been like, have a good day at work. I mean, it was a long time ago. But anyway, so then I go to Call Me Mine and my manager. I'm like, a weird thing happened. And I told him and he was like, oh, that guy's a child molester. And I was like, yeah, it doesn't feel like good what happened.

So then I call my best friend and I tell her and she's like, oh, he's done stuff like that to me before. Don't worry about it. He's just getting cheeky with you. And I'm like, that's not jizzing on your cheek does not mean cheeky. I remember I'm like, I think I have a better idea of the English language. But yeah, so then I was like, okay. And she was like, don't worry about it. And so then I was kind of like, she's out.

Like in my head, I'm like, this no longer is my friend. I'm not dealing with this bitch anymore. Because I was like realizing like in the moment in real time like how bad what just happened was and how bad all the stuff leading up to it had been but I was like like um manipulating I was just like a kid it's weird it's your authority figures it's like all this stuff so so then I'm like okay so then I start kind of like gathering my evidence. Like I start hitting up other girls that have been around people I've seen him with. I'm like,

all right. So I find five girls he's done stuff too. And one will testify with me. And the one that will testify with me is like a liar. She's not lying. I was there. I know she's not lying, but she's a liar,

you know? So I'm like, fuck. All right. Well, whatever. So, I mean, I shouldn't even call her a liar,

but she had been, she was a little, she was, she was a cutter. She was a lot of things, you know? And so, um,

um, precious angel, I'm sure doing great now. I'm sorry if you're listening, but, um, it was just like, kind of like,

Ooh, you know, but there was like a, there was a girl who had turned 18 while she was there. He was dating her. Okay. At the school? Having a full affair with her.

Yeah, she was still a senior. There was a girl who his wife was a student there, but also her mom was his wife's therapist. He had kissed her, had made out with her. With his mother-in-law? No, with the daughter, with the girl. And she was like my age. And, you know, was like, oh, massages.

And then like he was tutoring her with art and then making out with her, kissing her and stuff. They didn't want to do it. The mother was like no i feel like i'm helping the family like it was a lot of people that are sick yeah and their goal is not to help or protect children it's to protect the comfort and not having to go to court i i don't know what it was but also having gone through the court system and how difficult that was and painful that was like i don't want to like shame people that that don't speak out too i used to be very vigilant about that and really pissed when when i would hear stories where women didn't go to the cops but then i'm like you know what

whatever is gonna like help your peace and stuff like even though i did feel an obligation when i got gotten to make sure that no one else got got and i was like i'm done he fucked me up like and i really felt that way i was like i got ruined like I'm why did you think ruined why I was I just felt like I got damaged I'm done it's like it's not gonna be okay you know you really did but I didn't but now that's like the work I've done where it's like that's like a thing that that happened to me as a kid that's not mine that's the thing someone did to you exactly and it's not mine it's not like it's not mine. That's the thing someone did to you as a child. Exactly. And it's not mine. It's not like, it's not mine to keep. And I had to really, that was like a big lesson for me where I had to realize like when I was using it as these like badges and I needed people to understand what I'd been through, like it was, I was just dragging this like dreaded guy through every like, just by the dreads in every part of my life. I thought about

him every day for like 15, 20 years. And I don't think about this at all. And I can tell you this, like, yes, I can get emotional and be vulnerable, but I'm not like attached to it the way I was before. It really is like, it is just, it's like a moment in time. And I learned a lot. And I'm really proud of myself for how I acted there. And I really like, I, you know, I didn't have a lot of support, but I was able to like support myself. Did you have your parents support? I kind of did.

You know, I did. I did. But what I learned from that experience. I would want to fucking, if my daughter came home and told me what you just fucking told me is this guy alive? he's a successful artist in Philadelphia have you ever crossed

paths? I mean you're a public figure now I crossed paths with his ex-wife now they got divorced the one that helped him this lady yeah they got naked with us yeah you crossed paths with her where but it was like a couple years later and it was like after and we both like and like ran the other direction no but um but i looked her up i found her on uh facebook and she's following some weird guru she's just one of those people that has to have someone telling her what to do or whatever.

My Orioles are finally good this year, really good. And I thought I was, you know what, I'm going to take my daughter to see her first baseball game. And I wanted to go get good seats, just the two of us. We can go walk around the park. She's not going to be a fanatic like I am about the game. So I wanted to get a good experience. There's fireworks after the game. I think kids are running to bases. And I didn't want it to be stressful. So buying tickets to your favorite events shouldn't be,

and it doesn't have to be. Game time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all the sports, music, comedy, and theater near you. They have killer deals, last minute tickets, and their best price guarantee. You can stop stressing over the tickets and start getting excited about that fun you're going to have. Forget planning months in advance. GameTime has deals on tickets right up to the day of the event. You can get exclusive flash deals on tickets for football, basketball, baseball, concerts, comedy, theater, and more. Plus, the GameTime guarantee means you'll always get the best price. So if you find tickets in the same section in row for less, GameTime is going to credit you 110% of the difference. It's the fastest growing ticket app in the country for a reason. You get images of your seat before you

buy it so you know exactly what to expect when you arrive. You buy tickets in a matter of seconds, two taps and you're set. Tickets are sent directly to your phone so you never have to dig through your email. And I'm going to tell you, I went right through the app. It was simple. I've had friends from home go, what's that app you're talking about i'm like game time go check it out i'm taking still to see the game so snag the tickets without the stress with game time download the game time app create an account use code honeydew for 20 off your first purchase terms apply again create an account and redeem code honeydew for 20 off download game time today. Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. Now let's get back to the dude.

And, um, and the school, like I can, look, I can forgive all of these people. Like I can forgive them to get them out of my life, but it's disgusting.

The school should not be running. Um, I found so many more things out. So what I did find out in recent years was I get hit up by this kid who's like, oh, did you ever know that? Okay. So the year after all of this went down, when I graduated, the graduation ceremonies were like really small graduation ceremonies and all these old students would come back to go to them because it's 17 kids. It's like this short thing. It's like come to support the school or whatever. And so after it all happened,

when I was still blaming myself for it, I really felt like it was my fault it happened. And if it wasn't my fault, it was his fault. But it wasn't, I didn't understand like the institutional issues and what was going on in the school. So I went back and it was almost like a Stockholm syndrome thing too. Like I still wanted them to like me and think I was good because it was such a like horrific experience after I came out about all of this. I mean, it was like horrific. And- Were you welcome back or were they like-

I mean, they were like, oh, here she is or whatever. But I went in to say hi to that other art teacher. The other one, okay. Yeah. And because he had gotten fired. The teacher that assaulted me got three years probation and he like wasn't allowed to teach for a little while it was like that it was like not yeah exactly my there was some sort of plea bargain what happened was his

therapist or his therapist his lawyer was uh my old softball coach i used to play softball with his daughter and yeah is that isn't that a conflict of interest exactly that's what i think but he lied to my parents he said i think i can help ann exactly that's what I think but he lied to my parents he said I think I can help Annie by being on the side but he got his guy off is what he did I can't believe

he just said he got his guy off he got his guy off I can't believe he just said he got his guy off I don't hate lawyers but there's one I don't like a lot there's one I don't like a lot Jules

I'm just saying the first name hey Jules get your ass back on third base Jules how Jules. I'm just saying the first name. Hey, Jules. Get your ass back on third base. Jules, how's your daughter? I'm actually – I really like his ex-wife. His ex-wife is like he's a scumbag. I'm like, I know.

Man. She's been my personal trainer. So no wonder you feel – the world's against you. It was a lot. The world's against you. It goes all the way back to your softball coach. And it's so funny, Ryan. I like – I was in a relationship maybe maybe four or five years ago with someone who also

had a lot of trauma and stuff. And he did help me through it a lot, but it was a very, very intense... Toxic is overused. It was just really a raw relationship where he helped me realize it wasn't my fault and that there was no adults around. And it caused some problems with my family and stuff like that. And I love my family because they sat with me through it the whole time. There was never a time where they wouldn't talk to me about it

or shut me down, even when I was screaming on vacation or whatever, because I just couldn't believe it. And I went on Marc Maron's podcast and I told this story and I was so raw and so emotional. I just remember feeling like, where were all of the grownups? And I think what I learned now looking

back is like, one of the biggest lies you're told when you're a kid is like to tell the truth. Because a lot of people don't want the truth. They want what's going to be the easiest thing to move forward. And it's like, because I always tell the truth and I can't tell you how many times, I mean, I have people now in this business that won't speak to me over things that are like, that I am like, I literally just said a thing about my own life. And it's like that, if that's a thing, it just goes like, oh, you're not like who I thought you were. Like you aren't someone that likes the truth.

You aren't someone. And it's also like, I don't know. It's just like a lot of things are sticky, I think, in this business too. It's like, but I don't know. I just always like to just be expressed in certain things. Well, you're also in a happy relationship now. So let me ask you this. Like just moving through life, meeting men in position of power or dating or intimately like how how has all of that

like what filter do you look through for things like that like do you have do you feel like you have a sixth sense for like that person's not a good person or that you know what i mean i know or do you feel like you over correct and maybe. I think like this. I think I, when something, I have a radar now when something happens, I don't like, I'm not okay with it. But I don't, like I, the way I handle things is usually I humiliate them for a little while. Yeah. And I make sure I get what I need. Have you make sure I'm not going to, yeah, I've done some humiliation. Like where people, I don't mean for kink. I mean,

have, has anyone ever come up to you in an appropriate way where you've done that? Like, just, you know, put them on blast. Let's just say if some of these things had happened to me that come out about comics or any people, like they would be bound to me for life. They would be basically working for me. If I'm in a room and someone jerks off and won't let me leave, they're bound. You're now my servant. You're going to get me a special. You're going to get me a TV show.

I had a guy. I was working on a show. And it was really such an awesome job. It was so cool a guy I was working on a show and uh it was really it's such an awesome job it was so cool and I was consulting so I would come in just like here and there and um and so it was always I always wanted to be asked back and um the producer tried to make out with me not once which listen I'll give you one time like power whatever like we're funny we're in a room together I I you know like I'm not going to be mad at someone for having a crush on me you know this is a flirty business

jokes are in a in another job might seem like flirting do you know what I mean like there can be mixed signals and stuff so you can shoot your shot once if I say say no, and when I say no, I do this. I'm very like, and you lean back in. Now we have a problem. So I had one guy do that to me twice. And I just, when am I coming back in the room? It's just immediate. I'm not leaving. I'm not going to leave this situation so you can feel more comfortable. I'm going to sit here after I rejected you twice. I'm going to stay till the end of the party and I'm going to get confirmation from you when I'm back in the room. Cause you're not going to like, you're not going to do something to me and then affect my career. That's not going to happen. I'm not going to allow that. So then I also have

had situations where I've had- Well, I've had those smoke sessions you talk about out back at the comedy store. You've just simply just simply said Ryan I could ruin them all I could and it's like that's the thing it's like when I get accused of being one of those women I'm like if I was coming out with things like you guys would be in jail like I don't know what to say it's not like and not that I'm like oh I have all these like secrets and I'm keeping them or whatever but it's like I just I think that like there's just no way I'm allowing what you do to me to affect my freedom in my business so um I also had um a deal with a network um I did a showcase for this network and they were like we want to do this, like basically develop a sitcom with me. So the guy who's running it is this married guy. I just, in my head, when I first moved to Hollywood, I thought the casting couch,

all that stuff, I thought it was completely made up. I, in my head, I was like, oh, that's like a funny tale that people tell. I thought married men love their wives. I thought married men are safe. Like it just didn't even fucking occur to me. It was just complete naivety. And so I had a situation where the guy was like, oh, I'm running late to this meeting. Why don't we just meet up later at the Soho house? And I was like, oh, cool, the Soho house. That's awesome. I'm new to Hollywood. I'm like, that's so fun. Go to this membership place. So we go and he starts going, you know what I really like about your comedy is how openly like promiscuous you are. And I was like, that's not what my comedy is. I was like, that's not at all what my comedy is. I was like, I'm not, that's not at all what my

standup is about or whatever. And he goes and he starts touching my knee and I just start to be like, what is happening here? Right. So I go, let me see a picture of your wife. Show me your kids. He's like, show me his kids. I'm thinking, it's like, okay, you see it. We like, he's like, let me give you a tour. He like pulls me in. He, he's giving me a tour of like the billiards room. He like goes to pull me in. He goes, oh, you have such a nice ass or something. And I go, I go, I'm funny. I work really hard. I'm very confident in myself. Absolutely not. and then we like go down we leave and he's like i hope you don't tell anyone about this he said that yeah and i was like whatever and then he goes and then he goes whatever happens in montreal this summer stays in montreal i go

it's not gonna happen and then the next day where let's talk about the sitcom to the next day we're doing the sitcom and i ended up i never a sitcom, but I did get paid for it. Good. That thing. Because I was like, not a fucking chance. You're not fucking with me. I work hard. I don't, there's no like, and it's funny because I'll talk to people in the business

level, but even if you did hook up with them, I'm like, but I didn't. I didn't. I never did. I've never hooked up with anyone to get anything. Those are like, I've had rumors spread that I like hooked up with a guy to get into Montreal, like crazy things where I'm like, it's so far from that. So I think if anything, that's what like the experience in high school gave me, where I was like, I'm never, ever like allowing a person in that position to ever make me feel

vulnerable like that. And- So professionally, that's one. How about personally? How do you deal in your personal life when through dating? How's that been for you? Well, I think someone told me that I always date my mom, my dad, my mom, my dad, one of my friends, my guy friends.

I was like, yeah, so I'll date like a girly guy who's kind of like aloof and like too busy for me. And then a guy that's like really fucking mean to me but very funny and and sweet too you know but so mean like my dad and then it would go back and forth and back and forth um but i healed myself and now i have like a good like a secure man who's it doesn't i was so like codependent i was always trying to make people like me like even when i went back to my high school this i didn't finish the story when i went would go back to visit trying to like i'm like i wanted these people to like me they did me dirty and I wanted them I felt like I was like well do you not like

me I didn't do anything you know and I was just like begging them and it just so I go in for the graduation and I go to my the art teacher I pop in he's with the graduates uh and I pop in I go like hey and he goes this room's only for the graduates. And I pop in, I go like, hey, and he goes, this room's only for current graduates. Get the fuck out. Whoa. And I'm like, what? Like, I'm like, I'm like in the hallway, like about to cry.

I'm like, why am I getting like abused by these people? And by the way, my teacher that assaulted me was very mean to me. He wasn't flattering. He wasn't nice. There was nothing. He was very mean to me the whole time. Even, did you have to work with him after? My mom kept trying to get me to go back over to the house. I was like, I was very mean to me the whole time. Did you have to work with him after? My mom kept trying to get me to go back over to the house. I was like, I don't want to go to that

house anymore. I go, dad, come pick me up. I never want to go back to this house. I didn't tell them what happened yet. I didn't tell them until I had to, until we were going to the cops. And then my best friend, that girl, ended up telling the cops I was lying and that I was a pathological liar. And I am autistically honest. I have always told the truth. I do not lie. I am like ass burgers honest. I went to occupational therapy, Ryan. I'm on the spectrum.

I tell the truth. I do not lie. I'm not comfortable lying. It's like, so that used to be a really big trigger when people would call me a liar. And it's still kind of like, it affects me a little bit still when people don't believe me but well it should i mean you've got a you had an army against you you had the school against you you had the students against you you had your parents unsure you had the wife but you know what the part i had to to fix was that i was against me that's the only one that matters there's no other relationship that matters in this world other than

your relationship with yourself and so i had to do so much work on self-love and like literally i would do like the gayest shit sorry i'm saying gay but it's just the right word i would have to do the gayest shit like where i like look in the mirror for like i would do anything i'd be like i love myself i love myself i love you i love you i love you and you like you have to like lie to yourself until you believe it and now i catch myself with any negative thoughts like Like I do not go there anymore. And I feel like, you know, very unstoppable at this point in my life. And it's like, you know, I look back and then I have to forgive myself for being at the phase of my life where I didn't trust myself and I didn't like myself. But I always work on self-trust. Whenever I'm upset or triggered, there's a self-trust issue.

But anyway, so I find, okay, so i get yelled up at the the yeah this guy just get the fuck this is the one that was okay right didn't know if you were he wasn't there this asshole though the janitor walks by this guy frank he goes he saw it and he goes he's like the only person that i felt like saw me he goes goes, he used to call me Blondie, which is also sounds molesting, but he's the only one that didn't molest me. But he was like- The only one. I'm sorry.

He goes, I know, but he used to like, I was actually thinking about him recently because he used to, which is also inappropriate, but we used to do community service on Wednesdays to get us ready for our future. To prepare us for our future. So Wednesday's the last half of the day. You picked a community service. One was like you would cook food with the chef downstairs for homeless people. One was like you would build quilts for, you would sew quilts.

One was like collecting cardboard boxes. And one was Frank's helpers where you would help him clean them. But he was like, I cleaned the place. So he would let us just be in his office and smoke cigarettes. His office was like in the basement. Sounds like he's molesting us. But he wasn't. But in the basement and he would just pop the thing up.

We'd smoke cigarettes and watch Jerry Springer. And when Jerry Springer died, I was like, where's Frank? But so Frank saw me after he yelled at me and I stepped out of the room. And he went, Blondie, he goes, I saw how they treated you in the school. The school did you dirty. He's like, I want you to know i know that so that is like and sometimes like did i imagine him like did i make him up but um so that was really the only person that kind of was like even though my parents were like on my side i hear you though they my parents up until four years ago this was someone who were donating money to the school no yeah because they don't want to admit for them

to admit they they sent me there they tried to get me go back to that guy's house i understand this this is them not like for them to fully do you know how painful that would be for them so it's like they had to kind of keep this distance and stuff and i think it would be different knowing what they know now, obviously. But what I did learn from my mom, and I have more to get back to about that relationship between the teacher who yelled at me and the other one. My mom went to a boarding school, an all-girls boarding school. When I was going through, when I was dating that guy and I was raw and I was calling her

and like, what the fuck did you do? Like, where were you? All of this stuff. Why would you like send me to this guy's house? My mom goes, everyone slept over their teacher's houses when they were in high school. Everyone. That's just how it is. And I go, that's not how it is. So then a little time goes by and she goes, oh my God, the weirdest thing happened. She goes, I just found out that all these girls in my high school who used to be the cool girls that would go hang out and sleep over at this one teacher's house, he molested all of them. So my mom was looking at it like she got left out from this cool club. And up until three months after I had that conversation with her, she thought it was normal that kids go sleep at

their teacher's house. And you'd be one of the cool girls. she didn't get and so she's like i don't want to keep her from this cool thing it's it's all like she just was naive my mom was not molested and she doesn't it didn't occur to her that that would be what she was left out from it and not knowing what was on the other side feeling like oh it would have been so cool if i got to hang out with like the grown-ups and all the cool kids so then that kind of came full circle and i started to understand that and i just don't care it's like just, my parents like do a lot of work on themselves. I talk to them every day. We love each other. My mom and I meditate together. It's like, it's over. That's all over. And so, you know, and it's just, to me, it's like, my parents are old. It's like, I don't know. I'll miss them so much when they're gone. It's like, I don't want any of my time with them to be like harboring,

you know? So I just like, and that's kind of, I think why I didn't want to post this before. Cause it was just like, I wasn't as like secure in that relationship with them quite yet. And I just didn't, I don't want to like,

I can like drag them through the mud for the rest of their lives if I want. But why would I do that? I love them, you know? And that's really the only thing that I'll, I'll take with me from this earth when I die is the love I have for everyone. So, and that's what I learned from ayahuasca.

Check it out. And this is like, not trauma. This is like, you know, are you an only child? No, I have a twin brother and older brother.

That's right. You have a twin. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're a twin too? Yeah. I'm a fraternal twin.

Oh, fun with a boy. Yeah um different you said you had more to say about the two teachers so i find out okay so this is what i found out from the school so at this point there's just one bad teacher and a bunch of teachers that asshole teacher right an asshole teacher and people that are like not wanting to deal with me and like oh Ooh, she's causing a problem for us. Right. And it doesn't make sense. I'm like,

why are they not just on my side? But I'm like, why are they not like on my side? Why were there no teachers coming to court with me? Like, why were there no, um, and I got a text from one of the old teachers when I was living in Brooklyn,

like 2015, 2016, that was like, Hey, Annie, it's so-and-so from the so-and-so school. And me and a bunch of the teachers and some of the students are coming to have a little impromptu reunion in Brooklyn.

I don't know how they got my number. My mom probably fucking gave it to them. They're like, we'd love to see you there. And I go, hey, where were you when I was in court? When I was assaulted by one of your colleagues, no one was with me, no one came to me. So with all due respect, I will be missing this get together.

And then 24 hours later, after lawyers had been contacted, I'm sure, a very professional thing was sent back that was like, oh, the school is different now. I was new there that year. I didn't feel comfortable stepping in. Like, just all this bullshit. Like, I know myself as an adult, like, that would never fly.

You're not doing shit to anyone ever in front of me. That's not going to happen, you know? But anyway, so it's just a bunch of stuff like that. you're not doing shit to anyone ever in front of me. That's not going to happen, you know? But anyway, so it's just a bunch of stuff like that. But, you know, I had to like over time really like learn that this was not my fault. This was a thing that did to me. And then on top of that, I had to learn that it's not a part of me. It's just a thing that went through me and happened to me.

So anyway, so I get a DM from one of my old classmates and he goes, oh, you're not going to believe what happened. This teacher, the older art teacher, he goes, the year after you left, after you graduated, he found out one of the teachers was having an affair with one of the students and he went and he punched him and that guy ran off and never came back again. And I'm like, why are you telling me like this is a good story? So there was another teacher fucking a student in a school with,

each grade has 17 kids in it okay so everyone's fucking everyone basically and i'm going and then by the way he punched him he didn't call the cops get him arrested have any legal repercussions he just got to run off to another school to go do it again there's no newspaper article like where was my newspaper article like they fucking manipulated my parents into not doing that what year was this it was like 1995 or 1996 so there's no internet or anything like that to blast them it's just starting right at time and it's like but you know but i'm like in court i'm like and he's never no none of them have ever reached out or i mean

they gotta be shitting themselves you have a voice like that's one of my no i know they must be scared as hell yeah every day like ideas of things i want to do like to really get the story out you do yeah i got ideas but i don't know if i want to do it it's like it really is up to me to figure out like what do i what is like also do you put any more fucking energy exactly exactly because your your your body is remembering it the whole time you're working on some shit like that you know what i mean exactly i'm in it and i'm talking to the people and right but my uh so i find that out so there's another teacher and this was a teacher that was new that year but why would a teacher come into this environment and think it's an appropriate environment to have a relationship with that kid?

Because you guys are fucking creeps. Knowing there was a scandal the year before. Oh, and it's still okay because was there a scandal? If the kid gets jerked off on in the woods and no one's in there to hear it, did the kid get jerked off on in the woods? There's no fucking newspaper article about it. the kid get jerked off in the woods? What the fuck? There's no fucking newspaper article about it. Did she get jerked off in the woods? So anyway, so they fucking, okay, so then,

I mean, this story just goes crazy. So then, okay, so then I find out I get a DM from one of the old teachers. God, it just keeps going, doesn't it? Yes, one of the old teachers. That's why I feel bad for you. One of the old teachers, and I like just keeps going, doesn't it? Yes, one of the old teachers. That's what I feel bad for. One of the old teachers. And I like this fucking teacher. I'll tell you this.

This teacher, he was my math teacher, a different math teacher. He goes, hey, he comes out of nowhere. He goes, hey, I listened to your Marc Maron. He goes, I'm disgusted. He's like, I didn't know exactly. I knew shady shit was going on. He's like, I'm so sorry.

I didn't find out exactly what was happening. He goes, I would have gone to court with you. I would have fought for you. He goes, those people are scumbags. And he's like, and I want to let you know that when that guy was, when the teacher that assaulted you was a student, he was having an affair with the other art teacher. A gay affair. No.

He was a molester. He was a molester. He was a molester. He was a molester. They were a molester. Holy. That guy was a molester. That guy was a molester. That girl's a bitch. Holy. That guy was a molester. That guy was a molester.

That girl's a bitch. Fuck white people with dreads. I'm so sorry. Fuck you guys. Fuck white people with dreads. Or don't fuck them. I'm sorry. I don't mean to discriminate against you, but are you fucking kidding me?

So then, okay. He was having an affair and now they're co-man everyone's fucking everyone jesus okay i've got more so so when that guy knocked the teacher out he was knocking him out like you're gonna out all of us by the way after the mark maron thing i see what are you doing dumb motherfucker we're all gonna get in trouble after the mark maron thing the school used to be um it used to be a montessori school before it became the school that i went to i just say a molestory school no that's like no books just vaginas just that we we read the vaginas of the students we just read them like we do a little a dog here while we slip our cocks in there. But anyway, so, okay, so.

Yes, this continues, which is wild to me. It still continues. I mean, it's just, it's like never ending. The teacher punches the guy because you're going to get us in trouble. I get a DM after my Marc Maron from a woman who went to the Montessori school in the 70s. She goes, oh, the teachers were doing this to us too. I mean, it's like. Decades. Decades. And I go, we got to take them down and she goes what do you mean it was a long time ago and i was like what

do you mean it was a long time ago let's fucking go bitch so then um can i just ask is it is it just girls or is it boys well he was a boy the teacher was a boy right i think it's no it's all them because i have another one okay okay so then i had an enemy in high school this guy okay he was this inner city black kid wait real quick this so the lady from the 70s was like nah people whatever and who cares bitch i don't need you i got i got i got a stack don't worry so okay so there was a guy in high school who I used to get in fights with. He was an inner city kid. He was getting out of gangs. He started going to the school and he was like a talented guy.

He was a good poet, very like well-spoken, like smart, just like a cool kid. But we fought because I don't have like authority with people. Like I don't like, I didn't know like where in the streets he was from. I just talked to people the same way or whatever so we were getting i was like flicking boogers at him and stuff and he's like i actually kind of respected you because nobody like treated me like that because they like knew what i was you know what i could do to them but they were like holding him back i was like we're gonna hit me like bing bing bing like we were just always getting in fights me this guy we ended up like reuniting later on and i love him okay this is like my

fucking has he come to see you do stand-up and stuff i yes he has seen me do stand-up and our friend who passed away too came one of our he was he was one that that um succeeded to out of our school but but he's a really talented author and he wrote a book when we when we reconnected he had written a book about the school in a positive light how this school he had gone to the school of like a bunch of like columbine looking white kids and but how it had really helped him like reform his life and turn himself around and now he's a professor a rapper like he's just so fucking he's amazing i don't want to say his name because this is like his story but um he uh so he had this positive experience and i'm like do you remember what happened with me and he goes i don't really like

i vaguely know something happened i told him he was like i wish you had i had known that before i wrote this like glowing book about it was like a national like a new york times bestseller whoa the book okay and um i think new york times or some it was a bestseller but so i'm telling him the story and stuff and he's like he's like why like support you in any of this and he's just like he's just my guy he's my one of my people for life i love him so much like such like a family situation we just been through this this place together and had such opposite experiences. Isn't it wild that in such a small little space, two people could have wildly different experiences? Yeah, but wait.

Oh, no. So I get a call a couple years ago from him at my sister-in-law's house. He goes, I don't know who else to tell this to. He goes, I called my mom. He saw the movie Moonlight know which is about a gay relationship or something he calls his mom and he goes mom you know like wow I really like felt for this character I you know I've never had like any homosexual like relationships or anything like that but you know I could really like empathize with this character. And her mom's like, you don't remember what happened in high school?

He had a mentor, okay? This teacher. He had a mentor who he was like the acting teacher. And I think maybe he did writing too. Who like helped him. But his mom was like, you don't remember what happened. I found he was writing him love letters

and he didn't understand there were love letters because we're like kids, you don't like get it. His mom found them in his thing and was like, this guy's writing love letters to my son. So she goes to the principal. Oh, the teacher was writing to him.

Oh shit. She goes to the principal. They meet with the teacher. The teacher goes, yes, i'm in love with your son they go okay you need to move out of here so he moves to another state never cops never anything so he's doing it over there right so then he just moved he died of covid sorry r.e.p um sorry you're not gonna be able to see what happens in the end but um uh so my friend i felt so bad for because he then was questioning like this was someone that really motivated him to have a good life too. And now he's to look back and he's like, was he using me? I'm like, that's the thing that's fucked up. It's like, it's this

like special kid thing, you know, but my teacher was mean to me. So I don't even get that. Sorry. But my teacher was mean to me, so I don't even get that. Sorry. But he – yeah, it's just – so it's wild. So then he had had that too. And then the principal, I believe, at some point ran off with one of the students. Jesus Christ. How is the school still open?

Exactly. Exactly. How? But I think like what happens is like one of the – Is it state-funded? I don't know. I don't know. But one of the like spins that i would go through when i was in a in a more anxious place would be like are they gonna like

like sue me and like it's still like it does feel like there's like a like a church against you know it does feel like that it feels when there's an institution that's like united against you and they're powerful as fuck right yeah but i don't I don't – They literally have bodies. Right. Literally have a body count. But I think I'm more powerful than them now, and I think it's just about what I'm interested in doing. And I don't want – and then I do these things, and I'm like, ooh, I don't want them to be tipped off either.

Yeah. Look, there's a situation I'm sort of going through where there's a chance to do A or a chance to do B. That's all I'm going to say. I'll tell you after it's nothing. But does A involve, you know, the better part of my time? Because if it does, then I'm not interested at all. Like, because I have to live it.

I've got to, you know, be present in it. I've got to relive it. I've got to live it. I got to think about all these people and this and that. And then again, people are telling me they're liar. I'm a liar and they don't believe me. Like you had, you had your own fucking softball coaches going against you. Like that shit's crazy. No wonder you feel like it's me against the world. You should. But I work on that. And I, and it's like, cause I do believe like you'll recreate all of these

things over and over again until you break the cycle of it. And it's like, so it's just about not letting myself get into that mindset. And then you just cut people, cut them out. Yeah. That's the thing too. As you get older, you got to, if they're not bringing something to the table, you got to cut that. I mean, when I saw the Banshees of whatever the hell that movie is, you seen it? You didn't see it with Colin Farrellrell in the the irish movie oh no i haven't yet it's basically colin farrell gets like friend dumped by this guy and they just like live in this like small area in ireland there's no one else to hang

out with and stuff and he's like keeps trying to hang out with him he goes you're so boring like that i would rather like cut he was a fiddler or he played some sort of instrument he's like i will cut my fiddle fingers off if you come near me again that's how much you're like like ruining the rest of my life kind of i want to send that to so many people that are like so bored i'm like i can't handle boring people i can't handle people that are like manipulating and toxic it's like i am like here to rise and be in the light and have fun and laugh. That's it. I don't have time for any of that other stuff. So, I mean, though I have something that could be pretty cool I could do.

It's also like, do I want to do it? But it doesn't matter. Either way, whatever I choose will be the right choice. Well, look at you now. I mean, you're killing it. And I feel great. And I feel very, like not detached from it, but I feel like not like,

I do feel like it's like a separate thing. All right. So let me ask you this is a question I ask. Technically, this is your first time. So, and this is a pivotal moment too. What advice would you give your 16 year old self?

Duck. Duck from the spray oh man well thank you very much for coming on this has been a great episode thanks man it'll never air will you uh please plug and promote everything one more time yes okay i'll get my actual things out can i ask you why you're looking to your purse is always It'll never air. Will you please plug and promote everything one more time? Yes. Okay. I'll get my actual things out. Can I ask you why you're looking, too? Your purse is always around you.

Is it a Philly thing? Do you always worry someone's going to steal? No, I have ADD. If I take my purse off, it's left. You won't know where the fuck it is. I have to drive back and get it. Okay. I just wondered if it was a street thing. Well, I'll wear my Louis Vuitton and people are like, oh my God, we get it.

Don't forget your dates. I go, first of all, yeah, I fucking spent some money on this bitch. I don't want to put it down, but I leave everything everywhere. Oh my God. You're going to Baltimore, you said. Yes, I am. Sorry. Oh, I love standup. It's so fun. so fun all right but i also i do want to say this

it's really important to not like wallow and like live in the shit you have to like go through it and everything but yeah sit in it i feel like get up and get the fuck out i got like a crash course in life really young and i always say i had to be an adult when i was a kid so i get to be a kid when i'm an adult and i love my life. I changed nothing. Man, I like that because I feel the same way. I changed nothing. I'm proud of myself. And I just work every day on continuing to like be proud of myself, make myself proud, all of that stuff. Good for you. And I just forgive as many people as I can. Okay. I have Baltimore Magoobies, June 2nd and 3rd. I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah, I'm Wise Guys with Josh Potter, June 9th and 10th. I'll be in San Antonio, Texas, June 23rd and 24th.

I'm in Philadelphia, August 11th and 12th. I'm in Calgary at the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival with Andrew Schultz, August 27th. And I'm'm in Austin Texas at the Vulcan Gas Company October 6th and 7th I also have like San Francisco San Jose a bunch of other stuff on the on the calendar that's tickets and stuff you go to Annie Letterman dot com slash shows also every Tuesday is Trash Tuesday and a lot of people already watch

that so come to my new show Annie Wood I need more of you over there it's so cute it's so fun it's just my world it's anniewood california it's all the people that i love all my friends people i'm fans of we have like my favorite reality stars on we have my favorite authors my favorite everyone it's always a good time so that's every thursday that's it comes out at 9 a.m pst 12 p.m eastern and i do a live chat on there when i'm available so you can come talk to me and hang out.

All right. Thank you very much. Hell, yeah. Oh, and June 20th, Annie and Friends at the Comedy Store. There you go. Sickler's on it. If I'm here, I'm on it. If he's here.

Thank you, as always. Go support the special. Come see me on tour. Tickets at ryan Sickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week.