The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Bert Kreischer - HoneyBert

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Bert Kreischer! (Bertcast, 2 Bears 1 Cave, The Machine) Bert Highlights the Lowlights of empty nest syndrome. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour Omaha, NE | March 29th & 30th Columbus, OH | April 12th & 13th Toledo, OH | April 26th & 27th Los Angeles, CA | May 12th Miami, FL | June 7th & 8th SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Cozy Earth -Get up to 35% off site wide when you use the code “HONEYDEW” at www.cozyearth.com FÜM - Start the Good Habit at https://tryfum.com/HONEYDEW to save 10% off the Journey Pack today

Omaha, Nebraska. I'll be there March 29th and 30th at the Funny Bone. Columbus, Ohio. I'm headed your way Friday, April 12th and Saturday, April 13th. Toledo, Ohio. The Live and Alive Tour is headed your way. I'll be there Friday, April 26th and Saturday, April 27th. Los Angeles. Sunday, May 12th, I'll be at the Bourbon Room for my show during the Netflix is a joke fest Miami Florida I'm bringing the live and alive tour your way I'll be at the Miami

Improv Friday June 7th and Saturday June 8th get your tickets now all tickets are available at RyanSickler.com The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler available at ryan sickler.com the honeydew with ryan sickler welcome back to the honeydew y'all we're over here doing it in the night pan studios i am ryan

sickler ryan sickler.com ryan sickle on all your social media i'm starting this episode like i start them all by saying thank you thank you whether you've been here whether you're new here thank you for supporting this show this channel all of it make sure you're subscribed if you gotta have more i'm telling you you gotta have the patreon it's called the honeydew with y'all it is this show with y'all and y'all have the craziest stories anyone's heard it's worth every penny it's the wildest show on patreon i keep it affordable as i can and they're your stories you gotta hear these people's stories it's worth a cup of coffee i promise you that and the new podcast has dropped you guys i appreciate the support it's called the

way back it's a little nostalgia podcast sitting on that old station wagon backseat, the one that faced traffic. And I'm just talking to my favorite friends and your favorite podcasters about growing up and what that was like. All right. For all tour dates, go to RyanSickler.com. All right. That's the biz. You guys know what we're doing over here. We highlight the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest back on the honeydew ladies and gentlemen the machine back christ here thank you thank you for being back here i know you're all hung over but i am hung over but you got after yesterday i was with jelly roll oh yeah yeah

jelly roll and bunny we did a really fucking episode where I pasta up I haven't had carbs I haven't had I've been away from alcohol sugar and carbs and I only allow myself like a night or two a week these days and boy last night you went for it I went for it I went for it and I had a blast I follow the rock and um I'll see him do cheat meals and then i'm like i'm gonna do that cheat meal i do those cheat meals every day i can't do cheat meals my cheat meals are on something's burning because i'm that's it yeah yeah not what this episode should be about but you are the right person for me to talk about this with but i i you know i've i've said this and i don't i i don't it's such a longer conversation but you know i got really out of control like really out of control

like 275 pounds drinking is that the highest you've been yeah in your life in my life yeah even college days and all that you never would never it never got that bad but my body looks very different now you look great college thank you you do look great but i had to quantify what my cravings were what my impulses were uh what what my addictions were and food is the addiction food is the addiction and it is and and once i got control of food everything kind of started falling into place and but i had to include drinking one even with food way more drinking drinking was like it was like you know dudes who are addicted to sex and then like we have friends are addicted to sex and they would go and pay for it and stuff drinking was the bank account the addiction of sex was the thing, food for me, the impulse,

getting control of the impulse. Drinking is just like people go, I'm gonna take a sex and I'm out, I'm broke. Well, the drinking was just the money. And once I got control of the eating and figuring out my brain, drinking kind of fell to the side and was like, oh yeah't i don't really want it as much as i did as much as i needed it then drinking kind of once i i figured out the plinko the clint of of what was what was me up and what was me up was just not saying no to myself and going to the fridge and opening it five times a day and i was like what the fuck is this like because that's what happens when you diet and once i got control of my diet i started feeling a real joy that i i i have i will say this i've never had and uh and drinking without drinking was getting in the way of the joy and i just wanted the joy i wanted more joy you know we we want to talk about empty nesters and i and that's

what we're talking about today but i had real terror fear of losing my girls in that house silence is deafening yeah dude let me tell you i'm with you on the food thing i eat when i'm happy if i'm like hey let's celebrate let's go eat i'm sad i'm like let's just fucking eat i'm hung over i'm hung over i'm bored oh i'm bored i'm gonna go fucking eat. I'm hungover. I'm hungover. I'm bored. Oh. I'm bored. I'm going to go get, what do you want to do? Just go get this food right over there. But also, I grew up with not much. And one of my problems is I like to go to bed on a full stomach.

I like to know that I'm not homeless tonight. I'm not starving tonight. I'm going to bed, like late night eat. Yeah. Which in this comedy world is often too. I'm going to bed with a full stomach and at least tomorrow, I'm not going to starve until lunch. I'm saying I got to get through the next day. And I still, I'm still in the mentality of 22 year old Ryan when it comes to finances and things, and I'm not that anymore. And I have to learn that. I've started taking my health very seriously, too. I saw that whole 10x thing on Rogan.

They have one here in LA. So I went and did the blood. I went and did the genetics. I'm waiting on all my results because I now know I have these blood diseases and everything in my body. So I know that just a regular multivitamin at CVS doesn't necessarily work for us. So I'm trying to figure out this computer so i can get at least another 40 or 50 on this god damn thing that's all i want you know i i

i don't think i was looking at the future i was looking at the present and looking at and and then when i was looking at the future it was with anxiety what made you say because your words were i got out of control what made you say that about you i did when did it hit you the girls what part did they say something to you yeah yeah we had a really rough um the fully loaded was was wild it was awesome but some stuff happened in that with death threats and whatnot. Really? Yeah, that were really serious. What the fuck are you getting death threats for?

Who's death-threatening comedians? People that are just – Over what? Nothing. It's nothing. It's mental illness. Just mental illness. Yeah, it's mental illness.

But it's real. And I was dealing with that, and I was not dealing with it well. And then when we got off the road, I just, Georgia and Isla, well, Isla mostly, but Georgia too, were like, you know, you're really overweight. Like, I'm worried about you. And the idea that the girls would worry about me just fucked me up. That they would maybe lose sleep thinking about their dad

really bothered me and so i got i just said i'm gonna do no i said i started with five days i'm gonna do no booze get clean and healthy in five days and then i said i'll do a month and then because i could always do a month and at the end of the month the girls were saying things to me isla said something to me at a drive-thru at starbucks she goes you're really present and i was like what do you mean she goes if you were drinking right now she goes it's not a big thing how old's isla 17 can i ask you a quick just a quick paul when you were 17 did you ever say anything to your parents like i didn't talk to my dad i didn't talk to my dad i didn't have those thoughts at all though i didn't have anyone to talk to at that point but even if i did i wouldn't be saying hey you're

really present right now you're doing great parenting over there man i'm like what i don't say shit like that now like you're really present she said she said you were, if you drank last night, you'd be like this. I said, as opposed to, and she goes, as opposed to us talking. And I went, fuck. And so I just started quantifying my presence and my happiness. And, and then all of a sudden, one month turned into very easily two months and two months in the middle of two months, I started really quantifying just how happy I felt and little things, you know, getting out of a couch started being coming easier. Getting out of bed was really easy. Um, uh, I wasn't as overwhelmed as I was. I wasn't losing my shit. Like I would lose my shit when my dad get my day, I'd look at my day and I'd start to kind of go like motherfucker how am i doing this how am i and like pete pete is my is my assistant he's more like one of my

closest friends really honestly i talked to him about everything and he started noticing a change in my behavior and so i but the girls and leananne has always been my ride or die. Like she's just there. And, but the girls saying that really, and then all of a sudden it turned into like 83 days. And then I was like, well, fuck, how am I going to start drinking again? Cause I, I want, I want to drink. I want to drink in moderation.

Yeah. Can you? Yeah. Easily. Could you drink half a beer and leave it? Yeah. Let's, let's try it. You haven't it uh yeah let's let's try it who the fuck drinks half a beer me i could easily drink why because i smoke weed that's why you smoke weed and not inhale great question no i could why would you do it yeah why would i let's

be very clear but i can't hold on i can smoke half a joint put it out come back later get that half a joint fuck yeah that's the same thing as half a beer no okay so my moderation i learned with marijuana okay so i learned during this let's be very clear i was not sober for 83 days i understand smoking weed but i was noticing but you weren't drinking i wasn't drinking right and so i was which also i don't mean to keep interrupting, but that's also calories too. Right? Everything for me was about health and calories and liver enzymes. It's a lot of sugar and a lot of that goes in the alcohol. Everything was about that.

And I didn't want sugar. And so I, but with weed, I found a real joy in marijuana in that it allowed me to be also a little bit more present, a little bit more empathetic. My empathy was through the fucking roof and insightful. And I will say the best part of marijuana. Because it's medicine. The best part of marijuana. And I got to give this to Dan Soder. Dan Soder.

I did Red Rocks with Dan S dan soda and big j didn't drink and i was smoking weed and i was it was in the morning i had a joint and i was down by the river and i was smoking a joint and i got a little anxiety and dan soda said i said dude do you ever get like anxious? And he goes, oh buddy. Yeah. It scares you sometimes. That's you got to realize though, it's going to happen. We all get scared. Let it happen. It's just the drug. And I started to embrace the fear. I started to embrace the fact that this was a drug and it was just making me a little scared. And that's that fear is inside me. Rogan said that his favorite part of edibles is getting scared because he goes it makes him honest and i started to embrace that honesty of what i was

scared about and i fucking would love it i'd get in my bunk and if i got a little too high and i couldn't find my ear on the right place on a pillow and i felt like my ear felt weird i was like that's just the drug it's's totally cool. Weed is so fucking beautiful. It is. It is so beautiful. And so I just embraced marijuana. I really did. And it kind of taught me.

And so what I do is during Thanksgiving, I would smoke a little weed. And then if everyone wanted a glass of wine, I'd have a glass of wine. But I would not. I wasn't chasing the wine. I'd have a little wine. And I was like, i don't want the fucking wine to fuck with my weed like i don't want to i don't want to lose the because all of a sudden you turn into this like well there are people i know people that smoke weed from the time they get up to the time they go to bed and they're fine but the minute they mix any kind of alcohol wine especially it fucks them like it it renders

them useless like i'm like what the fuck just that combo really gets people sometime yeah but you got to learn about that shit yeah and so but i like i've tried to explain this to tom the thing i do like about alcohol is is the cutting loose the getting after it i love that i love it i love it when there's no rules i love it i have different parameters for that a little bit more because i understand how busy my days are but i love last night last night we did two episodes and the first guy was like i would like a cocktail and i was like i'll have a cocktail i wasn't planning on drinking yesterday i was like i have a cocktail he made a negroni i was like god damn it this is good he made a he made a martini with white wine

and i was like fuck i'll have one of those It was so fucking good with olive juice and white wine. It was so fucking good. And then bunny and jelly showed up and Leanne's like, let's open a bottle of wine. I was like, fuck yeah, let's get on that horse and let it run and be, and just, and, uh, and then, but, but it's like, just like the moderation when you're like, do you want to hit the weed? I know my brain. I go, I got stuff to do. I can't do it you're very disciplined even when you go after this like the amount of weight you've already lost that before and after picture you look fucking great like your discipline is obviously you see it in your work ethic and your career and everything but also when you go after things like this it's really impressive uh yeah well thank you but also having your kids gut check you have a buddy of mine that got really big and his son came to him

and asked him it was parent day to come to school and they asked him not to come because they were embarrassed at how fat he was and they didn't want that they didn't want to be made fun of and they didn't want their dad to be made fun of and that put him on like that was the wake-up call for him to be like i gotta drop some weight and stop just i have the opposite we went to parents weekend and i was doing great i was doing great and georgia asked me to drink and all their friends were there and george's underage i'm i don't and i say this because leanne will not let georgia drink i'm certain she was drinking and she said to me i would love to have like a white club with you and mom and i said well i'm not drinking she said to me, I would love to have like a white club with you and mom.

And I said, well, I'm not drinking. She said, for real? And I said, yeah. And I said to her, listen, if you need me to drink, I can totally drink with the parents. If that's something you want me to do, I can be fun. If you want me to turn it on, I can do that. But I can also be present and not drinking. And she was like, I don't think she had seen that side. She's like, oh, no, don't drink. I'm really proud of you, dad. And I was like, i don't think she had seen that sign she's like oh no don't drink i'm really proud of you dad and i was like thanks i smoked some weed and i had a cigar and we all laughed we had a great time went to the game had a fucking blast but uh but yeah those girls those girls uh have given me more in in i mean i'm a wealthy man because of those two children. I made so much money off of sharing every aspect of their lives. It is, it is almost,

is almost illegal and irresponsible. But you know, I didn't know another way to do it. I didn't know another way to do it. I just, I was honest and we were doing-up when we were young and i was telling stories about my girls and they were working and i had a story about isla putting her finger in the ass putting the dog's mouth and ian bagg put me aside he's like that's where you're that's where you need to be going that is fucking no one's talking about that that's funny and so and i and then i

got a period she's do a period party and i thought it was fucking brilliant i thought it was brilliant and that child's brain is first time i've ever even heard about period parties yes from you is that that child's brain is so different and george is my jiminy cricket she's the one that can highlight what is brilliant about things and she really can she my closing bit from the last special razzle dazzle was uh was the escape room and that's george are telling me are you talking about that on stage and i go what do you mean she's like it's a funny story you should talk you should talk about that i was like what's funny

about it she's like are you being serious papa threw nana into a trunk and remember he was panicking and he was losing his shit that's the only reason we bought him and you almost shit in his mouth and i was like oh fuck yeah that is good she said you should talk about that remember mom solved it all and i was like oh fuck she told her on stage i call answers she called from college and i said what's up she's like nothing what are you doing so i'm on stage she said are you talking about that's when we talk about empty nesting that's my biggest fear you said silence is is deafening and it sure as fuck is so so every year we would go to uh alabama land's lake house for a week and then we go to tampa and spend a week with my parents we get onto the beach and that fucking house was filled with so much life that beach house and one time leanne the

girls left on sunday and i was in cleveland that weekend and I stayed Monday, Tuesday and then flew Wednesday to Cleveland. That Monday and Tuesday I've never been more sad in my entire life sitting with my parents. They're both on their iPads. No one's talking. I'm looking at them not talking and I'm like, the fuck? Like what? Is this what life is? And my dad's like, huh?

Like he didn't even hear the silence. For him it's just normal. And I'm like, there's no life is and that my dad's like huh like he didn't even hear the silence for him it's just normal and i'm like there's no life in this house this is death this is death and leanne embraces our empty nest with a an exuberance of this is going to be great how much fun is this going to be and i i would say put a fucking gun in my mouth. I do not want this. I did not want it. And when Georgia left, bro, I have a picture that I posted. I posted because Isla was like, you have to post it. I was crying so aggressively in the car that I was making them cry. And then Isla took a picture of me crying and was like, you need to post that.

Post it. Georgia will see it. It'll mean something to her. And I posted it and it got a ton of likes or whatever. But a bunch of parents connected to that feeling of losing their child to college and you want your child to go to college. But then it was me, Leanne, and Isla. And honestly, it was just Leanne and Isla. I was like, fuck it.

I'll go on the road. was just leanne and isla i was on the five i was like fuck it i'll go on the road and and i think about get when isla leaves how how many more years is that two more oh no one more oh it's like six months oh shit it's six fucking months it's right here yeah and i and i and that child the it's cool our relationship's cool now she comes down, her and Leanne hang out. And now Isla, I'm very present, but we're, we're, she's just goofy and funny. And her, she's me and her going to the sauna every night, do like 30 minutes in the sauna, me and her polar plunge. She'll work out with me in the, in the mornings. I drive her to school. We listened to history podcasts together. We listened to this great podcast about people almost dying.

But when she leaves, I'm curious what life's going to look like. Because Leanne's like, well, I can go on the road with you, which is awesome. But also changes the road a little bit. And Leanne's like, but we have dogs. We got dogs. What are we going to do with these dogs? it it's in the answer but we have dogs we got dogs what are we gonna do with these dogs and no we're talking about honestly about buying a house closer to the middle of the country to like make it easier to see isla and and and possibly spend more time there i don't know it's

it's a terrifying aspect because your whole relationship is defined by talking about these children. And Leanna and I had kids early. Forever, by the way. Yeah. They're going to be parents. You're going to be grandparents. It never ends. I don't know if we'll be grandparents.

Huh? I don't know if we'll be grandparents. You'll be grandparents. What do you mean? You don't think your kids are going to have kids? No. I don't. I can't imagine.

I'd love to be a grandparent. You're going to be a grandparent you're gonna be a grandparent yeah there's no way you won't be you never know do you want to be a grandfather i feel like you'd be a fucking kick-ass grandfather yeah i'd be him you would be yeah i was a great young dad i was a great young dad i was so fucking fun and i'm a great young dad. I was so fucking fun. And I'm a great older dad. Like I'm great. Like the best, the best, the best is when Georgia comes home for the holidays and all her friends come to the house. They all spend the night.

They all sleep in the screening room upstairs. Eight girls. And they come down and they're like, hey, you make us breakfast oh fuck me if there's a heaven my heaven will be spent making breakfast you're gonna miss that huh i see it what else scares you about it about uh i I mean, our whole lives are laughter. You know, I think about us as comedians. Like, we've probably laughed more than anybody on these planets. There's not one human that's spent more time laughing than me.

Yeah. That's my only thing. My only thing. And now that house is going to be empty. And you're not even going to hear their laughter. No. Do you worry about that? Do you think you'll find yourself on the road more because you don't want to be at the house where it's empty what do you think you're going to be how do you how are you going to handle it

i don't know leanne makes me laugh leanne's goofy i've our relationships changed a lot i think because george is not there leanne and i are doing this dating thing where we're like really dating each other i'll give you a perfect example really cool yesterday yesterday we're fucking like crazy by the way so yesterday morning god fucking like crazy like fucking crazy so yesterday uh I woke up I had a busy day and Leanne had a busy day and I kind of grabbed her over to the bed and my dick was hard and I was like hey and she's like no no and then she jokingly said you got to earn it and I said oh I'll earn it and so I I said sit next to me and I kissed her passionately in the morning I said that's just I want to let you know

how I love you she was like nothing else I said I just want to kiss you I spent the day going around and chasing her like kissing her and telling her how pretty she looked and I love that sweater little things just touching her when everyone's around just giving her like a touch to let her know and then I got her flowers in the middle of the day I just bought her flowers and I just wanted to let her know and I was like that gameplay for me is so fucking important to have like a little treat that i'm working towards is so fucking important it's the way i define almost anything but she is instilled that in me and i think it's because she wants to get ready for this next phase it started it started at saddle ranch this is my my favorite

fucking leanne story the one next to the store yeah we went to saddle ranch uh-huh just getting promo for the movie did a whole day of press junkets went and did three spots at the stores busy fucking day got done cocktail with leanne over at saddle i love saddle ranch i fucking love saddle ranch i'm out of control at this time i'm i'm big i'm big i'm so big that when I flew to New York, clothes didn't fit me. Nah, brother, buddy. I had a stylist style me and I flew to New York and none of it fit. From how long from the time you were styled till you flew, it didn't fit? A week.

You outgrew the fucking shit you were starting one week because I swear by this I fucking put on his shirt and the buttons didn't reach and I went and did press with an open shirt because it didn't fucking reach you're the only guy that could you would wrestlers that's it I would sit with Pete with my my little small team that I had in my room and I'd go, how's this not fitting me?

How's this not fitting me? Pete's like, buddy, you know, you did drink on the plane all night. But like I was just, I would not fit into clothes. A week later. It was, I mean, the premiere for our, do you know what they had to do for the premiere for our movie? They had to take the shirt and move the buttons. I swear to God. They couldn't go get you another shirt. If you look at

that shirt, you'll see there's a weird line. They had to do that to all my shirts and move the buttons. It was so bad that people were like, just take your shirt off. Just take your shirt off. You look fine, fat. Just take your fucking...

You look weird in these clothes i mean nothing fit nothing fucking fit yeah oh shit dude but so we go to saddle ranch we have a couple cocktails we go to the bathroom and a guy and a girl walk into the bathroom as leanne's walking out of the girl's bathroom a guy and a girl walk into the girl's bathroom to have sex. And Leanne goes, they's going to have sex. And I said, yeah. And we're just walking out, very casual, very in love with my wife at the time. Nothing's wrong with our relationship. I'm very busy. I'm focused on me a lot. Nothing's wrong. And she goes, can you believe that? They's going to have sex in the Saddle Ranch bathroom. And I casually said, you know, we used to be like that and she was like

huh we never had sex at saddle ranch i said no but they're young that's what young people do they're in love they're fucking getting after it we drive over the hill we do not talk on the ride over the hill we just you know whatever pull into our house and leanne pulls under the carport and which we don't park there because the doors and whatever and i go what are you doing she goes we're still young and she gets totally fucking naked gets on top of me in my car in the car or right there we fuck in the car my dick's getting hard telling you the story and i'm being serious that's how attracted i to my wife. My dick is hard talking about it. And she, we have the best sex of our lives, honestly. And from that moment, we started having sex at like a wild clip.

And doing stuff that she would say stuff. I want you to do this to me. And I'd be like, hold on. Did you cheat on me? Like what? Some new dude showing you some shit yeah i've never been allowed to play with your butthole what the fuck like what are you are you being my dick's getting for real hard the i i would and we were doing wild shit bro we went to the fucking we went out to the beach one

night just draw to the beach have like a bottle of wine out at the beach. And she's like, let's go to a sex store. I was like, huh? I was like, are you being serious? She goes, let's get some toys. We never used toys. I thought we're not allowed to use toys. I didn't think we were allowed to use toys. Why?

We never did it. We never did it. But you never talked about it? I talked about it. I remember getting the thing. She just wasn't into it then. And it would vibrate. Yeah.

And then she was like, why are we doing that why it was weird it was and so i just said i'm cool i know what you like if it's not toys that's fine i don't need them i just want to have sex with you but that we did things a certain way we went to that sex store dude i bought everything i bought rope i mean i fucking i bought every i was like a kid i was like we're getting one of these and one of these put that in my ass like everything and and she was just playful and wanted to try it and it was so fucking fun everything about it has been continuously fun we had sex in vegas the other day and she goes hey they have an intimacy kit i said i don't know she goes it's vegas i bet they do let's see what they got and and we pulled out their intimacy kit and we ran

through all of it and we just had fun it was fucking great i mean i she's i i'm she's i she's i i'm she's there's it all if you went on the cruise you'll get this it all started with a feather we went to santa monica to impress whatever in this right when we're really discovering our our relationship again and we go to this hotel in santa monica i'm doing i'm gonna work out with arnold the next morning and we go in we have a beautiful dinner and we go to the room and they have an insomniac kit and I open it and I see, and there's a feather in there. And I said, Hey, what can we do with the feather? I've never used a fucking, I don't know what a feather does. And she made fun of me for wanting to use a feather. And I, and she saw the look in my eyes of like, I was trying now I'm embarrassed. And then she was like, well, let's just see what the feather does.

And so I, we just played around with the feather, just teased her with the feathers and, and we started laughing about this feather and that feather opened a door that now, and this is me oversharing, but now we text a feather back and text a feather it's like our flirt and it's fun and and when we did when we went on the cruise we made intimacy kits for anyone that bought the intimacy package it was and it and it was a feather because it's our little fucking thing and it just it brought so much joy to our relationship. And we'll text just a feather emoji to each other. And it means something to us. And it's fucking, it's badass.

But yeah, that woman. And even when I wasn't drinking, she'd be like, hey, let's get in the hot tub. She never got in the fucking water. And now we get in the hot tub almost every night. And she'll make a specialty cocktail for herself. I'll bring out a cigar and a joint and uh or maybe just a cigar and and it it that woman made me excited for the next phase of our lives i think there's gonna be a lot of loss and you know it's cool to see your kids blossom

it's cool to see georgia make good decisions and have fun and celebrate her. One of my things, you know, every year for my birthday, I write down goals for whatever year I am. And one of the big things was speak to my daughters every day. I want to talk to them every single day. So I text Georgia every day. And I love, I love that she's living a fulfilled life. I love it.

It makes me happy when she texts pictures of her and her friends hiking or going into the river, taking, going to the hot springs or whatever they do. I love that shit. I'm excited for Isla to do it. I'm nervous for her because I don't think she's world ready. I don't think she's ready to like jump into the world, you know, but I'm excited for her to do all those fun things for, for herself, you know? Oh, I love that you guys aren't just like going into the fucking thing dreading it you guys seem to have like a almost a whole little flirtatious

relationship starting over again instead of just doom and gloom yeah it's like your own little thing it's cute and i like it yeah i think it's i mean it's like crazy but like aren't you also glad you have somebody to go through this with like what do you do if you don't have a wife? She had like a lump on her back and she had to get removed. And I was like spinning out of control. I was said to me, if something happens to mom, we should sign a suicide pact. I was like, what? She's like, we're not, we're not going to be, we're not going to long for this world.

We should go out together. I was like, you bring up a valid point, kid. She's like, George will be fine. But me and you are fucked. And so, but yeah, to have a partner to go through it with is such a good one. Oh, yeah. Cozy Earth crafts luxury goods that transform your lifestyle. Oh, yeah. because there's nothing worse than being too hot or cold while trying to sleep. And they're available in linen and viscose from bamboo. Cozy Earth Loungewear offers optimal comfort while maintaining a flattering, elegant fit.

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i can quantify that my feelings aren't real that my feelings are based off of something that happened and that thing is small compared to the body of work we have together that trigger and i can and yeah and i can i can ignore that and look at the whole and go what do i love i love this woman and what am i feeling is it is it big it not big. It's a fight over something stupid. And I've been able to do this. It was like drive to go get Starbucks and find the joy in life, roll the windows down, a little breezy in LA and the winter is fucking great. And I go, this is real. I love this. And that woman in that house will do anything for me. And this fight was stupid. It was and i and i can look past that

because i know that if i can look past it the rest of my day is awesome i get to play with her tits like like little things i love her tits i love her fucking tits i love i love your love for her dude for real are fucking awesome how long you've been together 22 years 22 years that's incredible and you still love each other like that you're still after each other you're still fucking fucking you know fucking not just setting appointments so you get the sex in you're fucking there's a big difference oh yeah and and i think we're better at it now than we've ever been. I think I know that. You're also opening more doors and exploring things. Like it's, that's one thing too. When you think like, oh, I just didn't think we use toys.

You don't realize that maybe down the road, like it's a phase that you get into later. Just something you weren't ready for or whatever. Yeah. The door's never closed. Yeah. It's been, it's been fun. I don't think I was going to be emotionally prepared to get into this next part of my life. I think she kind of sherpered me into this. And I think that all her doing this

and it's having fun. It's like, you know, we went to the Cayman Islands together and I hadn't been on a vacation with her by her, me and her in forever. I would, I always want the girls. I actually even said, can we bring the girls to the Cayman islands? Because I love I love that energy. I love the girl. What are we doing today? Let's go snorkeling Let's go and even like I take trips with the girls alone Like I took Georgia to Hawaii before she went to school and being with George just me and her We went snorkeling in this big cave with a bunch of other people there was some like people we met on the island that took us out a boat for the day and just getting out and There were some people we met on the island that took us out on a boat for the day.

And just getting out and being with George is so fucking fun. Because I have zero anxiety, zero fear. I'm a caretaker for this human. So all the deep water shit that I would be nervous about, I'm not. Because I got George with me. I'm protecting her. And we're diving down to the bottom of the ocean. And we're having a fucking blast.

And I said to Leanne, we should bring the girls. She's like, no, we should do it by ourselves. And our first day, we went out. Leanne got a boat for us to take us out for the day we got on the boat and the guy's like uh i have beers in the boat and leanne's like how many he's like i got a six pack she's like we should stop another six you have two titos and so and so but we had so much fun and i kept looking at her going like like going like how fucking cool is it that i want to be here because there's been chicks i dated where i looked at other people on other loungers going like i wouldn't mind being him she looks hot i bet she's fun and then i look at other couples now and I go,

Oh, they don't realize what I got. It's so fucking cool. I never thought that I'd find that. I really, honestly, I was so, uh, I get so tired of relationships so quickly and I'm a lot to be around as an understatement. But like we went out and we took the boat around for the day we had we got conks because that day was conk season and we went out to this sandbar and we sat in chest high water and crystal blue water with with stingrays swimming around us and we're kissing stingrays and we were having drinks and and and then we went home and we did a wine pairing at the hotel and she got blackout drunk and was fucking wild. And we had great sex and we laughed and we spent too much money and we didn't worry. And like we went shopping one day and it was like just – and we were like shopping and then went to this bar next door and had like a cocktail.

And it was just all the shit and then and then it's like little things and this is what i love about her is like little things like uh my drink's getting cold getting warm too fast we need to get you know we should get we should get some some turvis tumblers like old school redneck turvis tumblers keep our drinks cooler and man i i wasn't gonna drink on in the Cayman Islands. I was like, I'm going to stop drinking again. And that first day, she got a tequila, a skinny margarita with frozen ice, like ice in it. And then she's like, this is good.

You need to get one of these. And it's like 10 in the morning. And I was like, fuck it. Let's get after it. And we did. And we'd go out into the ocean and we'd sit in chest high water and just talk about everything and and then and then her little brain is so fucking cute she go those lounges that are floating in the water we need to get on one of them and i was like really and she's like yeah i'm gonna keep my eye on them because we need to get because everyone wanted to get on them yeah

and then she'd be like hey one, one's open. Come on, let's go. And then you go out and then, and then there are these boys that recognize me. They're like from fraternity at university of Arkansas. And they came out and they're like, duh, the machine, we got to do a shot with the machine. And Leanne's like, hey, he's on vacation. Take a picture, but it's over. Okay. He's mine. And these guys, and then I was like, I wanted to say to these guys, hey, fuck the rest of your college. All the things you're, find one of these. Because this thing will get you all the shit you want.

You need this partner because all your insecurities, all the things you're fucking worried about right now, this thing can fill that hole. Literally, everyone should be lucky enough to get a Leanne. I'm a dime a dozen but someone someone like her it makes life fun we're going to vegas tonight we're going to vegas tonight to go to the sphere to go see are you too yeah and i'm bringing the girls obviously isla said i said we're going to the sphere we're gonna go see you too and george was like for real and i was like yeah she goes how'd you get those tickets and i was like i'm playing I said, we're going to the sphere. We're going to go see you too. And Georgia's like, for real? And I was like, yeah. She goes, how'd you get those tickets? And I was like, I'm playing in Vegas for the Super Bowl.

I'm doing the arena with Tommy. You get a lot of things get, and this is something that they offered. And I said, I'd love to do it. I want to bring you guys. And then Isla goes, I don't want to see it. I was like, what? She goes, the movement? I go, what?

She goes, we're going to U2 the movement. What is that? I went, no, it's a band. And then Georgia goes, oh my God, she thinks it's me too. She thinks we're seeing a fully interactive sexual assault. Like just Harvey Weinstein in surround, just jerking off in front of us. All the different, all the different me too different me too are gonna happen and i was like wow i think you're gonna like this it's a little different

me too yeah let me ask you this how do you feel your life will be different if you have boys because you're a girl i don't want them. I fucking so I did not want girls. I did not see. I didn't want boys. I grew up. I have two brothers. Almost every cousin is a boy. And I just knew I'm always so angry about everything.

I knew having a girl would just give me a whole different perspective on the world. So I was I was really hoping for a girl. And I got that girl energy. And I love it because oh she says shit to me and i'm like god just blows me away at that age and like just she'll see something and go oh that looks like this and i'm like damn it does look like that oh the day i found out we were having a girl i said some straight up misogynistic shit to my wife and the nurse performing this sonogram what'd you say he goes do you guys want to know what you're having they and i was like yeah and

i'm thinking boy she goes well it's either a hot dog or a hamburger yeah and i said what do we got she goes hamburger he goes at a boy she goes no it's a girl i went fuck and she went excuse me and i went oh we're having a girl and leanne's like hold on and there's women in the room yeah all women and i was like no it's fine it's fine whatever whatever it's fine it's fine we can have another child and leanne's like what the fuck i'm i'm 32 and i just was i wanted a boy i wanted someone I could play baseball with. I wanted someone I could throw a football to. I wanted my buddy. I wanted a partner.

I wanted a little Bert. I wanted that. A little Bert. Oh, I had a name picked out. Could you imagine having a little Bert right now? Albert Charles Kreischer IV, a.k.a. Quate. I was about to call him. Quat.

Quat. Yo, Quat. For four. Yo, Quate. That was his name. I knew this motherfucker. He was going to be like me. His hair was going to call him. Quat. Quat. Yo, Quat. For fork. Yo, Quat. Quat. Quat. Quat. Quat. Quat. Quat. Quat. That was his name. I knew this motherfucker.

He was going to be like me. His hair was going to grow out. He was going to be a little bit of a hippie. He was going to have a fucking great swing. He was going to have the most beautiful fucking golf swing, the most beautiful baseball swing. He was going to throw darts on a foot. I was going to fucking Earl Woods this motherfucker. Earl Woods, your little tiger.

And then I got a girl. And the day, and honestly, I'm trying to be as honest as possible. I don't think I realized how great it was. I would say I'm- Yeah, when did it hit you? Like 13 months in. that's when you're like i'm glad i have a girl 13 months 13 and then when we had isla i went how are you about that i was like i was like cool i didn't want a boy you weren't upset like fucking no i was like cool two

girls i got i like that a lot what's the age gap two years two years yeah and we got isla and then they would hit you at 13 months though where you're like i am glad i have a girl what georgia georgia broke her arm and and she was practicing standing or walking i'm i could be awful whatever but she broke her arm and all of a sudden i i i don't know, I just went, I really, I realized how important this kid was to me. But all the little cute stuff, like her putting on princess dresses, I just loved it. I loved it. I loved all the fun stuff about having a girl.

And then I think it opened up a side of me that i didn't i didn't realize was there and i think if i'd had a boy i might have been a little bit of a bro and i might have isolated me and him from the rest of the family i might have been like yo this is my dude georgia got me into the family it was like um and then isla showed up i was like these are mine these are my little. And I'd never. I'd never. Music started making sense. Like Jeff Tweedy.

All of Wilco made sense to me. And he had boys. But all of it made sense. I'm the man who loves you. Woo. I'll cry. But like, I don't know. I just. And I was like.

Oh, I don't know. I just, and I was like, Oh, I mean, even, you know, when we took Georgia, no good story of mine is not broken, but like, so Leanne has Georgia and we, I cut the umbilical cord.

I'm crying so hard that the energy turns to Bert. Everyone, the fucking anesthesiologist grabbed my camera and started taking pictures. Right? Everyone. Everyone's like, Daddy, you need to take her in and get her washed. And Leanne just had fucking

an episiotomy and they're stitching her up. And everyone's stitching, looking at me like, ah, he's really... And we left. We walked Georgia in and we get her bathed and they do all the little test things they need to put iodine or whatever the fuck they do to her. And I melted down. That moment, that moment I went, oh my God, I've never loved something like this. It was so fucking pure. And I said to her, they all left the room and it was me and her. And she was just crying. And I got in real close and I was like, Hey, don't cry.

I was just like, I was whispering to her about what her life's going to be like and how I'm going to do everything for her. Oh, so cool. No one was in the room i was like sobbing crying i was like i'm gonna walk you down the aisle and no one's gonna hurt you you have the best fucking life and don't cry now get it out but don't cry because it's gonna be fucking so good it's gonna we're gonna have so much fun in that moment. And then I walked her in. My whole family's in there, and I'm sobbing, crying, and we rolled her into the little thing. And then someone's like, where's Leanne? There had been a shift change, and they left her in the fucking room.

I swear to God. I swear to God. They turned the fucking lights off. They turned the lights off. They turned the lights off. They thought the room was clean. And she was like, help! She then left her in like a pool of

her own piss and shit. And I was like, where is Leanne? She was shaking. She was cold. Oh, man. But that fucking moment I had with george i don't remember having with isla the way i did with george but i remember having that moment with her and i was like i got you i'm your fucking guy and that little kid changed me so fucking immeasurably she got me

like she got the things i got we're identical human beings everyone thinks that me and isla are the same no isla is leanne if leanne hadn't had a troubled childhood that's who you're getting to see is what leanne could have been that sounds bad i know what you mean yes yes george should have me yes all my little quirks like i remember one time taking them through Ralph's and they were like, they delivered hot bread. And Georgia goes, hot bread? It was a little, and I was maybe two, Georgia's maybe four. And I said, yeah, hot bread. She goes, it's hot?

And I was, yeah, let's grab a loaf. And I grabbed a loaf. She goes, oh. And I said, the center is the best. And so I ripped it open and she was like can we get butter and i said yeah i grabbed a stick of butter and shoved it in there and she's just eating the center of the bread and i'm like let's get four more loaves let's up bread that kid that kid gets me gets me like gets me gets me and always has. And always has explained Isla and Leanne to me. And, and,

and has made that child has made my life so much fuller because I don't think I would have seen it. Now, listen, Isla is a fucking hoot, but even like when Isla, like things that would make me mad about Isla, Georgia would find the fucking comedy in. And Isla used to have this song that she never wanted to walk anywhere. She wanted to be carried. It was like fucking, she's like seven. She's six. And she would go, carry me. And I'd go, Isla, stop.

And she'd go, carry me, carry me, carry me. And it would make me mad because I'm like, Isla, I got too much shit. And Georgia would go to louder isla and and i go georgia please and georgia would start laughing and the hardest i ever laughed is we're isla would do it like walking out of school she'd go oh carry me and i go isla you got your backpack your feet smell like shit i'm not carrying you carry me and one day i'm like isla enough i'm not doing it and so isla walks into the middle of an intersection and starts taking off her clothes what and yeah drops her bag carry me carry me takes her shoes off carry me and georgia is crying laughing she goes dad you have to look

at this idiot she is half naked singing carry me and so i fucking god fine i'll carry you so i carried this half naked child and george is crying laughing going she owns you like you can't and and and i mean the funniest i mean there's so many things i and like i celebrate isla so much but there's so many things i remember we taught i fucking ride a bike the first day we taught her how to ride a bike and and that's where i excelled teaching them how to swim teaching them playing baseball softball golf and riding bikes i taught most how to ride bikes george was terrified she's got so many how old were you when i was i don't know i was like i know them i'm sorry how old probably six when they learn how to ride a bike i'm guessing my daughter just learned how to ride one yeah because she wouldn't

mess with it yeah she i go stella i bought her a brand new bike for her birthday got her a nice cannon dale i'm like this is a kick-ass bike yeah i think i didn't have anything like that buying bikes for your kids yeah especially you know i took her to see it up. And she's like, can you put training wheels? I go, no. You can't put training wheels on a mountain bike. You're nine fucking years old. And you can put your feet down. Yeah.

You just put your feet down. So I took her out. I go, we're going to treat this just like we do with soccer. We're going to go out for an hour. And we're going to ride every night. We go out for an hour. She's like, I don't ever want to do it again. I go, well, we're doing it again. But we'll dial it back to 30 minutes next time. So we go out for an hour she's like I don't ever want to do it again I go well we're doing it again but we'll dial back to 30 minutes next time so we go out and about five or

six times I'm letting go of the seat and she's getting four or five cranks and so she's feeling that freedom yeah third time we go out I go all right here we go I'm holding the back of the seat and then I just let go and she doesn't know and I'm just talking right back here and she's focusing I'm walking I'm just getting far away I go hey and she looks at me she's like oh like that and i go yeah you got it and boom done now she rides all over the fucking place i set up i got like those soccer cones i make obstacle courses and make a ride through them take her the part i'm like go ride on grass i want you to know what it's like to ride a bike and power what feels like the pedal on grass i took the girls pedals off and for georgia i took her pedals off just so they could push it so her feet could touch the ground and i said just and we went to a very slow uh decline

very it's very mild decline and i would walk with her and walk there and then let her go and then georgia figured it out pretty quick and then we put the walk there and then let her go. And then Georgia figured it out pretty quick. And then we put the pedals on and then her pedaling and she got it and she loved it. And we rode bikes all the time. And then when we taught Isla how to ride a bike, Georgia was like my partner. She's like, okay, Isla, you got this. I was like, don't take the pedals off. And I was like, I know we're going to take the pedals. She goes, no, no, no, no, dad. I think I got it. And I was like, Isla, i was like i let you she goes dad trust me and she'd ridden with training wheels so i take training wheels off i leave the pedals on and the first fucking i start to push her and immediately

she fucking gets it and within 10 seconds hits a bm I'm talking parked BMW over her handlebars, body marked from the dust, hits the BMW. I go, wow. And she goes, no, I'm good. I can do it again. So, I put her on again, and she goes, and she hits a stop sign.

Like fucking into the curb. Ting! Into the curb. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. She then hits a fucking fire hydrant. She, it within her three times riding a bike, she's hit everything. And Georgia looks at me and she goes,

I think she goes, I think she might need glasses. She goes, dad, it's like, she's trying to hit these things. And I go, yeah. So then she gets to riding a bike and all she cares about is the stunt of a bike of the

fucking fear of the bike she is dad no hands and i'm like stop you can't do that no feet and just throws her feet and i have video of her she'd kick her feet out and kick her feet in hands let go and georgia one time we go for a bike ride i was been riding a bike maybe a week and georgia goes i'm getting a gopro i said what she goes we have to film this dad it is she is going to wreck because i would do this thing where she'd you know when you turn a wheel too far and you all of a sudden you've i love that feeling so she'd crank it far and isla me and leanne isla flies cranks her wheels goes over her handlebars hits the ground takes lean Leanne down. Leanne goes down on her bike and Georgia stops.

And I remember she looked at me. She goes, I got it all in the GoPro. God damn it. That those kids have given me so much life, like just the funnest that, you know, to, to, to now. And then, you know, now they work with us on fully loaded but when the idea that those days are gone is is what i'm i think the idea that those days no longer exist they've changed but just the fun of a family bike ride or fancy dinners we used to do fancy dinners we go to cabrera on on the Brea we go to Cabrera and the

girls are dressed up in princess outfits with long gloves on and their little plastic high-heeled shoes and they'd have fancy dinner and they'd have like water in like a wine glass and we'd when Leanne and I would get dressed up and fancy dinners were like our fucking thing, our fucking thing. I bullied them. I wanted to go skiing this year. I love snowboarding. And I love going, taking the girls and going in the boat. The girl's like, I don't want to go. I was like, what? They're like, I don't like skiing. I go because you like it, but I don't want to go. I want to see my friends. And I was like, fuck that. I was like, you're going. I was like, I don't get, do you need to bring friends? She's like, can I? And I was like, whatever gets you there. So George is bringing friends. I was bringing friends. And I was like,

and then they were like, Hey, we want to learn how to snowboard. And I was like, cool. We'll extend it today. We'll teach you how to snowboard. But like those family vacations for me are so fucking rich. Like I took him to Italy when Georgia graduated high school. The girls get to pick a trip and Georgia goes, I want to go to Italy. So we did like 10 days in Italy. And being with them is so fucking fun. I remember the first night. First night Leanne's like, Georgia's like, like hey can we drink here and george is like

18 at the time i was 16 and leanne goes i don't know i don't know what the drinking age is here and the waiter says you know it's fine if they want to have you know a glass of wine with you guys that that's customary with we it's allowed and so i said wow i guess you guys can drink and the waiter comes to the table george goes he's like can i get you guys something to drink georgie goes double titos of soda big glass no lime and i go what the fuck she was like what i just wanted to see are there other drinks and i was like she goes that's all i've heard you drink i'm drinking double titos of soda you're drinking fucking wine they had they had uh I'm drinking double C-dose of soda.

You're drinking fucking wine. They had, they had, both of them did not enjoy wine. They don't like taste of wine. They don't, they didn't like, like Prosecco. We have, they didn't like any of it. They didn't really drink. I don't think either of them are drinkers, but, but the fucking, just, and Leanne's like such a list maker. So we'd get up and we'd have the whole fucking list of

shit to do and you could just see georgia go i'm gonna be walking all fucking day and i go wait it's your mom she's like and then they would mock me i i wish i could do a bit about this i've i've fucked with this forever i wish i could do a bit about this they realized how stupid i am so i we had a tour guide with us who knew ever as a historian tour guide this is before I really really got into history the way I am right now the first thing I said we were at Michael one of Michelangelo's things and I said uh where did the Angelos grow up like where did they live she was who I said Michelangelo like his family she goes his name is not Michael Angelo and George goes hold on you thought his name was michelangelo i said it's not she goes no

it's michelangelo dot dot dot it's like his michelangelo's michelangelo's when they called him and i go oh i thought his name was michelangelo and georgia goes oh my god so then we go to julius caesar's grave and i say to georgia hold on he was a real person? And she looks and she goes, oh, dad. I bet a lot of people are wondering that. You should ask the group. So I was like, I go, hey, Julius Caesar, he was a real person? And everyone looked and they're like. We get in the car and Isla goes, okay, I got to know what you think history looks like.

And I said, what do you mean? Isla goes, okay, I got to know what you think history looks like. And I said, what do you mean? She goes, tell me, tell me where does Julius Caesar fall in the list of history? And I go, well, it's got to be after Jesus. And they go, why? I go, well, there was nothing before Jesus, right? And they're like, tell us all the stuff you think that happened before Jesus.

I go, dinosaurs? And they're like, and? I go, just dinosaurs and Jesus. And they're like, hold on. You think it goes dinosaurs and? And then George is like all excited. He goes, did Jesus know the dinosaurs? And I was like, yeah, right?

I go, isn't there like a part in the Bible where he goes, stop? And then like, and George goes, that's Chris Pratt, dad. You're thinking of Jurassic Park. And I was like, hold on. Wait, what was before Jesus? And they're like, Julius Chris Pratt, dad. You're thinking of Jurassic Park. And I was like, hold on. Wait, what was before Jesus? And they're like, Julius Caesar was 33 years before. And I'm like, hold on. Julius Caesar is a real person. And like I, they, on that trip, everything they do, they go, dad, you know, this was before Jesus.

And it was so fun to have them bully me and make fun of me the whole fucking trip. There's a picture they text to each other where we were going out on a gondola. Oh, I'm going to get fucking chills. And we had great, Leanne got great hotel rooms for us. And I put on an outfit. You can find it online. I put on an outfit and I look cute as fuck, right? And I had a fanny pack that matched my outfit and i look good i

looked really cute and they saw me feeling cute and georgie goes what's going on with you and i said i look i look cute as fuck and she goes oh can i get a picture of you cute as fuck and i go fuck yeah and so i posed and then her and isla send it to each other back and forth hey remember when dad thought he was cute as fuck and it but they bullied me and they're like look at him walking mom he looks so cute and i go i do i do that for me is like my favorite thing in the world is those two girls bullying me my sister's bullying me but that energy of that was so fucking fun. And we have a chat thread called Baby Walrus.

And they will post pictures of when I think I look cute. And they're just horrible fucking pictures. They're the worst pictures of me you'll ever see. But that bullying is hilarious. When I got my surgery on my elbow, I came out of the hospital and I was in a wheelchair and I had a big cast on and I had a mask and I lowered the mask and I didn't, I was not feeling great and Isla and Georgia picked me up

and they're like, you know you look cute as fuck, right? And Georgia is getting that blown up for a wall painting for Isla's room of me in a fucking wheelchair. I swear to to god that's her christmas present yeah those fucking kids man girl that that uh you know i i feel like i'm doing a podcast just celebrating my family but like i love i love having a family i love i love those so much and even like even like they showed up

yesterday uh they showed up yesterday we were doing something they both just showed up because i was like loves jelly roll and and they both showed up and they're just hanging out in the office with us and they're just busting balls and and isla says up like we're all talking she was well it's typical mistake. Everyone makes. Napoleon made it when he invaded Russia. And I was like, huh? She was like, you never fight a land war in Russia, dad.

Not in the winter. And I was like, hold on. And Georgia goes, hang on. Isla, did you learn about Napoleon today? She goes, I did. And she goes, it's very clear. You're bringing it up all the time. But like, I just, I fucking love those motherfuckers.

Well, dude, I love you and I appreciate you coming on here. Cause I'm halfway there. I'm like, I was telling you, I got a nine year old and it's gone by in a blink and I only get her half the time. So I've gotten four and a half years left.

Let me tell you, let me tell you to anyone already dreading to anyone in your position, to anyone in your position, to anyone that just had kids, do what I didn't do. I was so in a panic that I wouldn't have money for them that I worked all the time. I worked more than I should have. I didn't get to experience as much with them as as I did I did great things. I was a present dad when I was home, but They would

It's so fucking this time is so rich with all the memories you will have as an MP Nestor These are the things I watched a little one do something I used to do every fucking day. And it made me cry in bed. He said to his daughter, he dropped her off and he goes, I love you. And she goes, I love you. And he goes, I love you. And she's like, I love you. And he's like, I love you. I used to do that to Georgia and Isla at school where I would yell it from the fucking fence, the whole school, loud as fuck. i love you georgia i love you i did it the other day dropping her off at the airport she's going back to school after thanksgiving i haven't done it forever she asked me to stop doing at one point she's like hey yeah she was like you know i

know you love me i'm not allowed to hold hands now as we get right up front in school oh yeah yeah that's normal that's that's natural but you gotta every now and then you know fucking leanne one time it was a beautiful day we were in hawaii and georgia and i our thing was wake up early and go for a walk everywhere we went me and georgia would get up early go get coffee and go for a walk we did it i have so many great memories in scotland we did it in in london we did it in italy we did it in In Hawaii, we would do it every fucking morning. I would get up early with her and go for a walk, just me and her. And we'd talk and just talk for like three miles and come home.

I remember Leanne one time, George was getting older. And Leanne goes, hey, hold her hand. And I went, really? She goes, she won't let you hold her hand one day but she will today and don't forget that hold her hand the whole time and we went for a walk and i held her hand and she held my hand back i have a uh i have a scar right here that the girls like to rub uh and it fucking creeps me out and i always move my thumb so you can't touch it. And Georgia rubbed my scar. And I went, oh, I'm going to let it happen. I'm going to let it happen because I'm not going to get her to.

She won't do that forever. And she was rubbing my thing. She's like, why aren't you moving your thing? And I said, because one day you're not going to let me hold my hand and hold hands with me. And I don't want to forget this. And she's like, you can always hold hands with me, Dad. That's not real. They stop.

But we drop her off at the airport the other day. And she's just, I'll carry on. And she starts walking. I go, George, I love you. She goes, I love you. And I went, I love you. This is at Burbank Airport. I love you.

She goes, Dad, I love you too. I go, Georgia, I love you. And the skycap goes, he loves you. And everyone in the airport starts going, Georgia, I love you. And the skycap goes, he loves you. And everyone in the airport starts going, Georgia, he loves you. And she's like this, walking to the fucking gate. I'm like, I love you. It's the fuck. So if you have kids, man, fucking pour yourself into this moment.

Pour yourself into this moment. Allow yourself to be the broke dad. Allow yourself to fucking feel everything you're going to feel. Allow yourself to spend a little extra money on the kids when you don't have it. I spent $150 on Wonder Woman boots once that I'll never forget because the costume didn't come with good boots. And I wanted to have the boots. She saw the undid the costume. She goes, the boots didn't come with it?

And I was like, huh? And I fucking did not have money at this time. And I was like, fucking this bitch gets boots and and they were it was a big miscalculation because they were slippery as fuck she fell nine times at halloween it was a fucking nightmare but she had fucking badass wonder woman boots but yeah man if you are a fucking dad drink all of it in drink all of it in slow down do what i didn't do i overworked myself i fucking slow it down and enjoy it because one day they leave and those that 18 years you get you don't get to do it again you don't i would love to you don't do thank you plug promote

everything whatever you guys know me yeah you know if you don't know me and uh you don't dude thank you plug promote everything whatever you guys know me yeah you know if you don't know me and uh i'm a stand-up comedian i got in bubble rush mafia one time i take my shirt off too ryan i love you man i love you dude this is great thank you i needed this i've been looking forward to talking to you about this oh you made me fucking so filled with love today i really honestly came here in a fucked up mood and i am so fucking glazed in love and i'm stone sober and it feels fucking amazing thank you buddy i love you i love you as always ryan sickler.com ryan sickler on all social media we'll talk to you all next week. You love podcasts.

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