The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Big Jay Oakerson - BigJayDew

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

My HoneyDew this week is comedian, Big Jay Oakerson! (The Bonfire, Legion of Skanks) Big Jay Highlights the Lowlights of growing up with a single mom, being a single dad, and co-parenting. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Liquid I.V. -Get 20% off when you go to https://www.LiquidIV.com and use code HONEYDEW Mindbloom -Get $100 off your first six sessions when you go to https://www.Mindbloom.com/podcast/honeydew

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Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pant Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media. Look, if you're watching, please help the show out. Hit that subscribe. I'm telling you, it's a free way to help the show, and it really matters. And if you've got to have more, then you've got to check out the Patreon. If you didn't see the episode with Josh Wolfe, watch that and then go subscribe to the Patreon. It's called the honeydew with y'all.

And it's your stories. And I'm telling you this shit, it just doesn't stop getting wilder. It just doesn't. I, every time I hear a story, I'm like, I don't know. Anybody's going to outdo that. And then somebody's like, Hey, do you see how I had this motorcycle accident, lost both my legs and shit. And I'm shitting in a bag. I'm like, no, but please come on the show. And he did. All right. It's five bucks a month. You sign up for a year.

You get over a month free and you're getting a honey do a day early ad free at no additional cost. All right. That's it. Now, you guys know. Oh, also, make sure you subscribe to the Crab Feast. If you're looking for a new podcast, go check out an old one. It's audio only.

And today's guest actually did the crab feast, but he is now here for the first time. You guys know what we do over here. We highlight the low lights. And I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I am very excited to have here today, first time on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Big Jay Operson. Welcome to the Honeydew, Big Jay. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me. This is something I wanted to do for a while. But before we get into whatever you want to talk about, please plug, promote everything. BigJayComedy.com for all my dates.

I'm nonstop on the road, so look for a city near you at BigJayComedy.com. I do the Bonfire with Dan Soder, Faction Talk Series XM 103. That's on Monday through Friday, 5 to 7 p.m. Eastern, and Legion of Skanks and SDR show both on the Gas Digital Network. And then my special, Dog Belly, will be coming out April 5th, I believe. Great. So check that out. It's just YouTube, free.

Enjoy. Same thing I'm doing. That's the way to do it. I love it. I love the powers in our hands. I did not you have uh you have good like you have a broad like production knowledge though too uh aside from just comedy which is important that's what it was like the hardest thing for me like not just being involved in only like when other people produce things you just like just show up and be funny

yeah what do you think the backdrop should be this whatever and then now it's like you know what do you think the backdrop should be? Oh, this, whatever. I'd buy with that. And then now it's like, you know, what do you think the backdrop should be? And it's like, this might be cool. And they go, okay, that's 14 grand. You're like, you know what? Yeah. You know what? No one needs that. You got some towels back there, man.

Yeah. When you're playing with like Comedy Central or Netflix money. Yeah, it's fine. Can there be a volcano behind me? Like a real. A semi erupting. Oh, that's fucking great. That's the truth, though.

What's it called again? Dog belly. Dog belly. All right. It comes out in April. Look, I've wanted to talk to you for a long time because I know that you were a single dad like myself. You have a daughter like I do. I didn't realize you said she's 20 now, and I was like, fuck, that's older than I thought, which makes me feel older.

But I want to talk to you about that because co-parenting is challenging quite a bit. But what's your upbringing? What's your background? You're from Philly originally, but what was your family life like? Your mom and dad split early? My mom and dad split when I was three. He took off off. Oh, he left.

Yeah, he went to, well, they fought. They had an argument, and he left one night, and that was it. And he went to Florida for a while because he had family there. His family is like a weird almost story. My dad, I know he tells it like a little more dramatic than I think it actually was, but they were Florida. His dad sucked, so the mom packed them all up and moved for some reason to Philly, married a guy there. He was abusive and kicked the shit out of everybody. And then they all went back to Florida, and he stayed in Philly and dot, dot, dot, met my mom.

And you have brothers and sisters? Huh? Do you have brothers and sisters? Huh? Do you have brothers and sisters? I have. So my mom, I'm the only child of my mom and dad. Okay. My mom has three with my stepfather, two sisters and a brother. And my dad's got two sons in Ohio with my stepmother.

Wow, we're going to get to that. Yeah, it's interesting. So he left you and your mom. Yeah, so they split. I mean, and he went to Florida. But he left. He's interesting. So he left you and your mom. Yeah. So they've split. I mean, and he went to Florida. But he left. He didn't just,

wasn't co-parenting. No, no, no. And he came back. I mean, when I was still little, he definitely came back.

It may have been like six months. It may have been three months. Could have been a year. I don't remember. Cause I was too young, but when he was back, all my next memory is left my mom. And then he was with Kathy,

my first stepmother. Kathy was great. She had three kids also. And then that was like the weekends I was supposed to go there. Every other weekend, which got dialed back to when he showed up, which wasn't all the time consistently. And that was sort of like the way it was like throughout the whole thing like if i didn't you know he forgot birthdays a lot but he would take me but it always felt arbitrary

like he kind of had to and um what's funny though is as an adult i know i'm drifting on the story up here but as an adult it is you said you're 50 i'm 45 i feel sympathy more for like my parents not my parent my mom didn't really fuck up much i'd say uh nothing that was life-changing in any way my dad like i feel like sympathy for his fuck-ups because when i left my uh ex-wife I left my ex-wife. Yo, so you were married? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.

When I left, my daughter was 12. And how, I was like, thank my dad, how freaked out I was that my daughter would think any, feel any way about me as my dad, how I feel about my dad, scared the shit out of me and it's probably honestly and it's no disrespect to my ex-wife she was great it was just we shouldn't have gotten married we should you know i mean i was like a young fat kid and then for the first time in my life from doing comedy even if it was uh it's never had in my life even if it was someone who was morbidly obese and unattractive to me i was so insecure that i was anything i'd be like let's go do it and uh you know so i wasn't ready for like a kid marriage but you were ready to be

a dad i stayed way it was funny when uh my daughter became like an older and i talked to her about it i was like because i was surprised that she even had like i was blown away that as tight as i thought we were she had the classic i thought you left because of me thing and she told me she held on to that for years i was like oh man i go i'm so happy you told me because i can clear that up for you quick i was there about six years longer than i ever would have been because of you because i was like if i had left when you were like six which is probably around the time where I realized I'm like I don't know man this might not be and my move instead was to go let's get married but I kind of like I didn't really know what the outcome was going to be but like you know if we there wasn't a kid

I was like but but I I left, I was broke. And by that, I mean, even at the, I consider if you break even at the end of a month, you're broke. You know what I mean? If you're paying all your bills, but you have nothing, you're broke. And I was, we were like that. And I was like, if I leave, you know what I mean? Now I'm like having, you know, I'm cutting in half the, my household income ultimately, and wherever I can afford to live is not going to be convenient to get to her. And it's going to be hard. And it's

almost thinking about that gave me sympathy for my dad in a bit. Cause he just, he was young one. So they were 19 when I was three, they were 22. He split. My first stepmother was older than him. I didn't even realize how much older because he seemed, he's my dad. I didn't see he was a 22-year-old kid, 23-year-old kid. Do you know what I mean? I thought he was just like, so. Always a man. Yeah.

Even when I grew up watching guys in the NFL with these big beards and shit, I thought they were in their 40s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm like, this is a 22-year-old? You know, you realize they're children. Yeah, yeah. they were in their 40s. Yeah, I know. And then I'm like, this is a 22-year-old?

You know, you realize they're children. Yeah, yeah. So I do have the thing, because there's days where it's like out of sight, out of mind. I started to get an appreciation for that. Like it's not that I didn't want to spend time with my daughter or talk to her on the phone every day, but you have to make an effort to like do, just in the sense of like, you know, just if you forget, I would get a thing at

the end of the night if I was on the road and they're just realizing like, oh, it's a three hour time difference. And she's definitely asleep now. I didn't call her today at all. And I'm like, and I'd always have this. I'm like, this is it. This is the beginning of the therapy. Like my dad doesn't pay attention to me. And it's funny to put that pressure on myself that she's like, she's just, you know, if you're a good father to your kids, even if you fuck up and do things wrong, like they know you're going to,

of course. Oh yeah. You're a, a good father. You know what I mean? Like if you're a president, they, they don't,

they don't have the pressure on you that you have on you yet. So I remember my daughter, I'd go, okay, Isabel, when things started to happen a little bit and I'd be traveling a lot more and i'm like i know isabel is supposed to see this weekend but like i i gotta do a gig now that i'm gonna be gone for like a week and whatever but when i come back like let's make sure we go to dinner and like i want to do this and and she'd be like okay and i'm like i

promise i'll call you every day when i'm gone. And she's like a teenager. She's like, oh, all right. What's the thing? Are you dying? And I'm like, no, but just know that I'm here. And I'd be so worried about that vocalizing. Well, you say drifting off, but I was really processing myself. So my mom was your dad, basically. My mom split. And we were raised by our dad and now i i'm

i was with you like i was scared of being a parent at first because i was like what if that's genetic you know what if that's just in my fucking genes to just leave a fucking kid but i don't even know i said i get that feeling too but i don't i think it's more like human is what it is so my i think to your point i'm it's scared the fuck out what it is so my i think but i'm saying to your point i'm it's scared the fuck out of me to be a shitty parent too which is why i went hard the same way i'm like i'll call you my daughter's eight and she's like all right i'll call you later yeah i miss you and i love you by the way if you forget to call the next morning we wake up when you call and you're apologizing she's like oh yeah well all right yeah yeah um but again i

see the thing where it's about the effort and having the sympathy for it is just like he's so i'm gonna give all the things he's 20 when i when i'm three years old he's 23 22 23 he's but he's a kid like what really just felt like got taken off his plate was responsibility and he's not even thinking long termterm of what it's going to be. He's such a kid. You know what I mean? He's like a kid. So I do feel a thing like his life, like he probably liked his new wife and was enjoying fucking her.

But how old was your mom when he left her? Same age, right? Same age. So this 22-year-old woman has to have all the responsibility. Oh, no. I'm not saying it's not fucked up what he did. I'm just saying I can sympathize. But I'm saying your mom was able to handle that oh yeah he never could have no no no for sure never could have because of exactly the thing i get the idea and i found

myself falling into it i don't think my daughter even minds saying it's like she's never a burden to me ever in any situation at all but there might be a night in my life where i was like you know you want just some weird like you know it's like let's do something fucking sexually weird tonight or so you know and it's like um me and mom are arguing like can i come stay at your place and you're like make up with each other you know what i mean i was like now it's like if she goes i have to and she's crying you're coming over it's the whole thing's dead but i'm saying like there's nights where you're like i don't want to be a dad that i don't want to do something weird or fucking you know i mean

like yeah i don't want to be a dad and so i i sim and when it's i think it's like almost like working out but your dad was like i want that every night of course yeah i'm gonna go to florida it's almost like where when I've done exercise at points, I've gotten that addiction to it. Not that I was amazing at it. I'm just saying I remember that feeling where it's like, no, no, I have to go to the gym. And if you don't do that for a week,

you remember that thing where it's like, I'm not going to go. It's like I got 15 minutes free in my day. I'm not going to the fucking gym for it. Other time you'd be like, I got to do it. And I just think like you fall out of habit. And I think his life just became easier. He's not right. He's wrong.

He's actually a shitty father when I was a kid for that in many ways. But I get it also. You know what I'm saying? I go, oh, you're just like, yeah. At 22, you decide to be like, I don't have to take care of this kid really. Like, oh, then fuck it. But then he went to Florida and had two more kids so he came back to like outside of philly after florida and i was my first step mother kathy and she had kids she was great i actually liked her a lot and um so he's seeing

you how often now weekly supposed to be every other week i'd say the real estimate would probably be like once a month maybe maybe but he's within driving distance now local 45 an hour maybe something at delaware at one point like south jersey and everything we were in west philly what's funny is when we went moving to south jersey i'm like wow it's like we really moved right to where he was sort of but he was already gone but uh he was with her for a while and then started seeing, I think, a lady at work. And this company was based out of Ohio. He was a good traveler. He drove around.

He drives a truck and goes and tests. It's such a weird job. It's an environmental job, weirdly. But it's testing underground diesel tanks for leaks. Okay. So he has to just run up his test he goes and runs this weird probe test and and he goes and he's traveling a bunch and headquarters was ohio and he met i think my current stepmother there and then left my first stepmother for her and just became an ohio guy overnight and then i saw him once a year on like the summer times maybe. And that was, again, it was an arbitrary.

He would take me, but he like lived his life. And he also, I felt like I was just in the way. My stepmother didn't dig me very much, which again, as I've gotten older, sympathy for, like I was probably an annoying fat kid. Like I used to say her mean things. I'm like, this lady would like make me feel awkward. Like she would hide the snacks in

like a closet in her room because i would eat too many of the snacks and then as i think back i'm like i was killing myself just shoveling snacks to my yeah but also because the guy she's married to now fucking bailed on you and you're probably eating feelings and shit like that you know what i mean she was nothing that far ahead no no i'm saying she wasn't it's all on us like i feel like we're that generation that really is trying to break these fucking kind of cycles like i don't want to be a shitty dad like that guy it scares me but then also to have the balance to be like but i fucking get it you were 23 years old dude i don't blame you like they don't even have that you know what i really don't i don't i probably do have like resentment stuff towards my dad ultimately but like it's funny when I tell these stories over the years of my dad

and some of the goofy shit he's done with me as a father, I always come back to him. So they go, and then one of those people come on the road with me, and I go, so my dad's running. My dad, anything in a two-hour drive, he's at the show. Oh, now he's there? He comes to the show. He loves being Gary, dude.

He loves being Gary. And he takes pictures with the fans. He doesn't really fully grasp, by the way, that I'm like, they're kind of laughing at him. But still, no investment whatsoever. But let me reap all the reward. All up in there. You know what's funny? There's such characters like in my storytelling too

that like when he brought diane my stepmother the one time to pickwick uh pickwick and frolic uh someone goes he goes oh we gotta have uh gary we gotta have uh big gary in the picture and he comes over oh is it the mean stepmom like they're like they're characters and my stepmom's like she just pops into like so um yeah so i do have sympathy for her but again i was like a child i was a kid and like but then he has two boys with her she's not very warm and then yeah and then what it is is you just feel i think it's like the classic like well i'm just a reminder of like his old life. We got a family here, basically. What she said one time, which was insane.

What he said that to you? When I was like, no, not him. I was like, I started comedy. So I was probably 19. I just started. And I was like, oh, you know what? It won't impress my dad. I was still there.

I'm like, you know what? It won't impress this guy and get him to be like stoked. Like, I'm going to call a comedy club there and see if I can do some guest spots on that weekend. And I did. It was Lisa Lampanelli was headlining. I didn't know her at all. And I went to do guest spots. And while we were up there, my dad goes, he told me, he's like, bring some nice clothes.

Because they're doing like pictures. Like you were taking professional pictures. And I was like, I don't even want to do that. But I'm like, okay. So I bring them and we go and it's my dad, my stepmom. They're two, the kids were pretty little at that point. It's like 20 some years ago. And like, you know, her brother, her family's all from there so her brothers and

their families and her sister and their family all the kids they're going and my dad married in to a woman so that's the okerson family right there and uh they were like okay the okerson's now coming for the thing and i'm like sitting with my girlfriend i don't even think this is lame anyway and i'm like i gotta go and i start going there and she, my stepmother goes like, oh, no, I thought I meant like our family.

Like that. And I was like, in front of my like girlfriend and stuff. And I had to do like the, ha, yeah, no,

it's like, I don't even really want to take pictures anyway. I was like, yeesh. The first time she saw me do comedy, she said,

the first time she saw me do comedy, like where I was like confident, like I was doing well. It do comedy like where i was like confident like i was doing well it wasn't like i had an audience like a personal audience yet but like i could do well in the new york in the clubs when i went on and it was like i sold out something in new york they came out they came after my wedding and i came out to a sold-out show like stand up new york or somebody a good set great set from what i remember and she comes outside and she was like

i just don't understand why it's got to be so dirty. It was like her first words, it's got to be so dirty. It's like, lady, I get it's not for you, but can't you just acknowledge that it went well? It went well. Yeah, everyone else is kind of like, hey, that's neat. My mother came to a show in Baltimore

where I was featuring for Segura back when he was still doing clubs, and she came out, and she's like, you were okay. He's really funny. And it's this ongoing thing now that segura is my mom's favorite fucking comedian that's what she said i was like jesus christ you weren't even invited you just came i have one of the funniest of that is john you you know, John Rudnitsky. Great dude. Very funny. His mom, she's my biggest fan.

Like when he moved to New York, they would come to the shows a bunch because he moved out for SNL. His mom just, and she is a prim and proper, she said, I don't like dirty stuff at all. She goes, but I just something. And she just loves my filthy comedy. It's so funny though. And she's such a sweet lady. It's so funny though. And she's such a sweet lady. Um, it's funny when you turn somebody like that,

but, uh, Oh, that's what I was saying. My dad, they only know the story so much and the stuff like I've told people stuff like, you know, that story.

And then people with my dad, they're just like, so wait, I'm going to meet this guy tonight at the club. What's he? And I go, no, no,

no. Charming is all. I'm like, you're going to love him. I go, he's a great hang. He shoots the shit. And I step mom dips off. I like smoke cigarettes. I'm like, you're going to love him. I go, he's a great hang. He shoots the shit.

And my stepmom dips off. I like smoke cigarettes and talk shit still or smoke pot even still. But another thing I thought he gave me was a responsibility with drugs probably because my dad's a pothead always. Not anymore, but like all through my time I remember as a kid. And I quote unquote catch him several times you know walk in on him several times and then when we have a long when he moved to ohio and he'd pick me up to drive me there for the summer for a couple weeks he ain't doing that long of a car ride without smoking one and for real yeah he would smoke a joint while he's driving you

you know we were in a by the way none of that talk about not knowing your kid i'm a little fat kid and he shows up to show off he always liked stuff like this too he's like we get into like a classic stingray corvette oh my god yeah with my suitcase for the summer and i mean it's like and my dad was a bigger guy too like smaller than me but like bigger guy and like you know just like sitting like this like squeezed up in a stingray for eight hours. And I just have such a visual of going down the road. He's smoking a joint out the window. A joint.

I can't even. And looking at me and giving me at like, I'll be fair and say 13 or 14. It may have been a little younger, but he's giving me the, you know, when you turn 18 i'd rather you do this than drink because it was from the earth i remember that's the first time i heard like a from the earth thing and i'm like i'm like all right i guess like it just seems weird uh like he was over explaining it so much that's how i knew it was something bad i mean i always equated like pot with being just like something that like a idiot does yeah and because it was always like

kind of his thing that i didn't know the correlation but because of that i didn't really smoke until i was like 23 i did a few times at that point and then when i was probably about 27 or so was when i became like an everyday like pot smoker and while i do say i really would have loved to see the go back it wouldn't be a good idea, but I would love to see the outcome of a smoking pot in high school because I'm like, man, maybe that's why it wasn't that awesome. I didn't smoke like that either. But maybe if I smoked pot in high school, that would have been really fun.

Like, just go take, I probably would have been more interested in like a history thing. I agree. No, what? They did. I agree so much. But instead, I was just like looking i was just looking out the window like can we leave here i hate this i had so many friends that would get high go to class and stuff or even trip on acid they tell me later i'm like yes we're on and i'm

not doing any of that shit i'm drinking i'm drinking but i'm not doing any week is not gonna like help you zone into school drink when I go to school either. Cause they're going to smell it. But these motherfuckers are high and on acid and shrooms and shit. I'm like, what? So great. What?

No wonder you liked it. So I never, but I do believe that I never really found a problem with like any drugs or even drinking because I just, I just didn't do it. And then by the time I did it and I was like, Oh, this is pretty fun.

I was at an eight also having a kid young and getting into those things after that was kind of like, oh, yeah. It's like, I'll have a couple shots and a beer if I'm not driving. But then most of the time it's like, you want to do a shot? I'd say no to the first one. Not because I'm like a goody. It was because like, well, I don't get the point of doing one. Like now that I get it, like I do a few shots and get loose. But if I'm not going to do that, it's gross.

And I have to drive home at the end of the night and take care of a baby when I was little. And then she got older and older. So I just didn't do it. And then by the time I had that freedom to kind of do it, it was like a responsible, I hope, age. Although I'm getting charged for smoking in my hotel room here. Are you really? Oh, yeah. Weed or a cigarette?

Weed. I would never do cigarette in the hotel room for my own. I don't smoke inside my house or anything. That's gross. They're really charging you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The worst thing is Bert and them put us up. So Bert's tour manager, who I know, thank God, called me today and said,

they're going to charge the two. I was like, oh, yeah. It happens once in a while. I go, I'll pay it. How much is it? $250. That's not bad. That's not bad.

I've been ripping weed all week in there. And then I leave. I was going to say, if I know and I'll be like, I'll pay that $250. Up front. Oh, yeah. I'll stay right in my room then. Tomorrow morning I leave. And I got the call right before I came here.

And it was like, yeah. And I was like, yeah. I said, yeah, it happens sometimes. Yeah, I'll pay it. And then she goes, and they just say, though, if they smell it happen again, they're going to ask you to leave the hotel. And I'm like, so right on the edge. Because you know what I mean?

It's like, if I do at midnight, is it going to be a problem? Because I think this happens. I smoked today before I left for the first thing. So there's just housekeeping still there. I'm like, do I go? I definitely don't want to be kicked out of the hotel at two o'clock in the morning, but we'll see.

All right. So now let's talk about you getting married, married first before you have a baby. No, no. Classic white trash. She was the, she was the flower girl,

dude. What? Why is she? Yeah. She was five or six when we got married i remember when my daughter's mother was like we were talking about like a wedding and stuff and i was like well if we do that then the kids won't be in the wedding she's like your kids aren't supposed to be in your wedding i was like oh yeah there's that they're not they're not oh

yeah i was like oh we're going traditional all right we're going traditional? All right. We're not traditional. Class, yeah. We never even got married. Potluck dinner? No, you guys don't do that? I've been to family weddings where somebody in the family did the cooking, and it's those tinfoil trays with the sternos. And a flour crock pot over there. Pretty Philly, too. It's like, yeah, loose roast beef sandwiches.

There's always a dry-ass ziti. Yeah. A dry ziti. Meatballs that have seen their better day. So when, okay, so you guys were together for how long before you got married? My daughter was probably seven years. Okay. I want to say.

And like, yeah, seven or eight years and it was i was doing so much like other like just road stuff and i think i got caught in something pretty bad i don't think i did i but it was before that really bad thought maybe we might break up then but even i didn't want to again because it kind of came down to one. I love my ex-wife. I still, she's great. You know what I mean? She's a, there's nothing with her at all.

Like me in this, I'm not even absolving her of blame of anything in the relationship going apart. But I'm saying for me, for sure, I was never like all in without doing like some grimy shit to some degree. But after I got caught with that and we decided to stay together and i was just doing things kind of like maybe here and there i was trying to be a little better like you know not having a side like life or girlfriend and just like fuck on the road a little bit and not make it a big deal and uh and i was feeling so good about like maintaining that for a bit that i was like yeah we should we should make this kid have a family you know i mean isabella should have like her family be a family although you want to get man she was so stoked that she yes immediately and but i mean it was asked like

while i was like smoking out like my sliding glass doors and my thing she was planning by an hour later just yeah i swear to you i was like hey hey carla hey you want to say fucking get married what do you think i'll throw a party uh famous last words um and then yeah so we did it was a great man such a fun memory the wedding was fucking great but yeah then we uh and you were together for about four years before you split you said she was your daughter was around 12 well we're still currently not divorced that's still an ongoing process still because that is our only kind of headbutt at all is like it's not even a headbutt like she just she has a another child who's great uh with somebody else afterwards and

she's not with him anymore. She had a boyfriend for a while now. I don't think it's like a romantic thing, but when I, whenever it's like, Hey, you gotta like sign this, you have to respond to this email.

Like it's, you know, I might want to buy a house one day. Like, I don't want it to be half yours. Like, yeah, it's weird.

We've been broken up for shit, 11 years, 10 years. And, uh, so, you know, but she's like, whenever it's like, so, you know, we got to do this. That's when it's contentious. So that's it. What is her reason for, if you can even talk about it, what's her reason for wanting to stay married? If I could tell you, I don't think it's that she really even cares about staying married.

I don't think she wants to get divorced. I see. Does that make sense? I don't think she wants to be a divorce. It's like, I think she views it as like a failure maybe in some way or something. But like, you know, I'm always like, how about your other daughter that wouldn't exist if I didn't do all these wonderfully terrible things? Yeah, right. You don't get that opportunity.

Yeah. If I didn't cheat on on you this angel wouldn't exist so think about that next time you start pointing your fingers so when you what's your first night like alone with your daughter she's 12 and she's coming to your place what's that like that took a minute that took a minute too that was again you talk about those like father things you like and somebody don't even realize you do them it's like i'm glad my daughter feels comfortable to talk to me about it but like it's like her birthday a couple years ago we were out her mom got a little zipped and started taking some like quiet shots at me she wanted her to go to

college my daughter and i have much more of like i'm like i'll pay for you to go to college if you want to go a couple what do you want to go to college for i daughter. And I have much more of like, I'm like, I'll pay for you to go to college. What do you want to go to college for? I'm like, and she doesn't know. So I'm like, well, I wouldn't just arbitrarily go to college anymore. I'm like, go do whatever you want to do. As a college graduate, I completely agree. Yeah. I've had that conversation with my daughter.

I'm like, if you want to go, if you want to do nursing or something, I'm like, I'll put you in school. If it's a prerequisite for the career, yes. But if it's not. Just arbitrarily go. And she's also, and again, that's the difference too. Like her mother is an academic for sure. You know what I mean?

But she's, and I'm not an academic. I'm much more of a creative. And my daughter just falls more on that side of the fence. She's a great artist. Do you know what I mean? But like she doesn't really see what the career would be in that necessarily. And she doesn't really know what the career would be in that necessarily. And she doesn't really know what she wants to do.

So she's going to go to esthetician school now. I'm like, fantastic. That's tangible. You'll make money in that in a little bit, you know? Like instead of just taking like psych 101 because you have no idea what you're taking. And, but she was taking like these kind of little pot shots at me. And it did come up, the story came up and it was like you know when you left like you told Isabella that when she asked why you were taking the tv you said that you were house sitting for a friend for a little bit and he didn't have a tv

so and I was like I do sort of remember when they said it but I sort of got blocked it out it's probably wrong where I just sort of forgot because there's so many things happened. It was such a depressing and sad time, even though it's what I wanted. Ultimately, it was so depressing and sad. And I felt terrible. And yeah, my daughter was like, yeah, yeah, you did. And I was like, yeah, but like, and then I corrected that at some point. And it was like, no, that was like never. But you just never lived back in the house again.

And I was like, damn. So anytime I'd bring up, I'd go, yeah, I did that 100% wrong. That's not even, it was the pussiest way to handle it. And like, my daughter's heard me say that. So like, I think she appreciates that. You know what I mean? Yeah, especially coming from her dad. I've apologized to her for things that I think are like, you know what I mean?

And I'd always hear anything that she was like upset with. And I was like, yeah, you deserve all that shit. You don't get born to your parents split up. It's not right. So then I, I think of things like that. And then I think of like when, when we split,

my daughter was one, she was like, no, I'm not doing this. So all my daughter has known is back and forth 50, 50. So I can't decide if that's better to know it like that the whole time. Like,

I remember my daughter said to me one time, she was like three or four, and she said something about living together like a real family. And I said, listen to me, we are a real family. I said, these people, your neighbors that live next door to each other, who live together, these people above you or in these neighborhoods around you, just because they live under the same roof does not mean they're a good family, doesn't mean they're a healthy family,

doesn't mean they have all the shit that you really want. I'm telling you, don't ever say that again. And she got that pretty quick. No, that's good, too. And I feel the same way with her mom, too. I'm like, this is your family. We're your family. When you get married one day,

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Now, let's get back to the do. But did it take you getting some used to to not not only i mean to be a single dad also is like you got this child that comes over all the time well it's an interesting thing well she wasn't over all the time that's kind of interesting thing it would be like more she eventually did start coming and staying over uh sometimes i think her mom was a little uncomfortable you know she's also essentially taking her to someone's house you know my ex-wife to her credit there's tv there though yeah my my ex-wife my ex-wife to her credit really did for the longest time like the best she could and really good at like

i mean my girlfriend essentially is like I didn't leave her for her. It was just meeting my girlfriend was the thing that I was like, Oh, that's like, I'm just more in line with what I want to do in life and some things with, uh, her. Do you know what I mean?

So it's like, uh, it's not an anger at the other one. Trying to think of where my head is at. I'm such a bad pothead with remembering what I was talking about as I tangent off. Well, I was asking you if it took you some time to get used to co-parenting and being cool with her. And then also when your daughter started coming over. What I did more in the beginning, which was good.

So, you know, it's difficult as well. It's like there is something to it. I tell my daughter it in like a joking fashion, but she also knows it's like an actual thing. But I don't regret a second of it. I never wanted her to think that. But I'm like, oh, having her so young certainly slowed my career down. How young were you when she was born?

24. Yeah, that's young. And I just turned 24 too. It was our month into 24. it's young and i just turned 24 too it was a month into 24 it's our two months she's uh and yeah i was like when everyone i knew was like i want to go hit la for a couple weeks and couch surf and when i was like no i gotta go do black circuit shows and make money like or i you know i mean so i really couldn't i did so it did for sure but so when i left and you know my ex it was it was not contentious right away but like she was mad with me for sure understandably so we still communicated and

everything but she was not super psyched but what i was able to do was it did free me up and i was wondering if it was maybe mentally my girlfriend said this before and she it may be right like also there's a thing that maybe I didn't push to find the next level of like success or anything because like the fear of like how much am I going to bury myself into something I'm not sure if it's what I want to be in the rest of my life so I'm like are we going to buy a house now we have assets we're going to buy that you know I mean I was worried about that and started thinking about that and I'm also like well now I'm stunting her life too from finding those things so I kind of split but the co-parenting was really and again much credit to my ex she really took the reins of like it was rare that I was picking her up from

practice she lived in Long Island. I moved to Manhattan. And for the first couple years until I started making some dough, I didn't have a car. So I was like, I'd have to take the thing to the subway to the Long Island Railroad an hour and a half out. And I did it a lot. But I didn't see it.

And when I kind of put my nose to the grindstone more of work and really that sometimes becomes a point of attention to almost all of my finally like success as far as like feeling financially like I'm not underwater and I'm doing all right happened after I left, which I know creates a resentment for sure. Because of that, the co-parenting, to answer the long way around to get to the answer of that, is I wasn't as present as I would have been living there. And not even like a, you know, she came over every other weekend thing. But I was able to finally like, yeah, put her in that private school for sure. You want to go to private school, put her in that private school. How much does that? Girls Lacrosse costs $3,000 to join. I'm like, all right.

And I'm doing all of it. So I'm saying I took care of them and stuff. I made sure they had a car that was paid for, and they didn't have to worry about that. So I felt for one of the first times, we always got by together. But I was like, oh, I was able to provide almost for the first time. And it's like sending them on vacations with my daughter's sister and stuff to go see.

And that's been good. I don't think she appreciates it enough, but that's probably what most dudes would say. It's the best. Did you ever see? Did you ever see the – there's a great cutaway in an episode of Family Guy, if you're a fan, and's stewie uh says like oh now we got to go to the park and look at all of the uh divorced dads uh playing for their hour with their kids or something and it's a guy pushing a little girl like way too

like hard like almost aggressively on a swing and he goes hey he goes how's uh he goes those are really cute shoes you got do they cost twenty five hundred dollars a month because that's what i'm giving your mother it's funny the thing about child support too is like if your kids heard how you talked about it and you go it's like you go is that too much money to spend on your kid you go it's not don't look at it that way what it is it's probably less or comparable to what I spend on you anyway. It's just never laid out like that. You know what I mean?

Right. It's like $2,500. It's probably not that much of a thing. But you're like, you don't really see it like, here's this bulk. But then you realize that's, you know, she's eating all month and all that kind of shit. Medical bills. But I never had like a quarter of quarter of child support or anything i just always i mean i kept the receipts but in case that ever but i mean but now your child's an adult and now

she's 20 and that's funny now she's out of the house and like you know and what's your relationship like now does she come to shows oh yeah yeah she does yeah yeah we got a keeper uh lewis j gomez style he's like him and dave my partners, asked literally because they're having a hard time. And I get it. They're not wrong. They just noticed since she was a baby, like a literal baby. So they're having a hard time being them.

They're gross and whatever stories we're telling selves when she's there. Yeah. There's definitely been things she was there for. I was like, I wish she wasn't there for that. But for the most part, she's 20. I just, just i do i see her as 20 i still like i still see her as a kid it makes sense yeah but i also know her and i trust her in a way where it's just like i don't know like the last time she was there though they were like they pulled me outside they're like dude i go all right i'll tell her to take a break from coming. She just loves, like, she likes it.

She brings her friends, and they think it's great. And I'm having a hard time. And that show, circumstantially, this guy named Byron, who was auditioning to be an intern, sucked his own dick on stage. I hope he got the job. He did. I remember looking over.

I remember looking over my daughter. No, your daughter was there. And I'm like, well, point made, guys. I won't bring her anymore. I'll ask her to dial it back. Yeah, I'll ask her to maybe steer clear a little bit. No, she always wants to come to the festival we do. Oh, shit.

My relationship with her. Like I said, I really, really really love it's funny like the the years that i wasn't like every day with her again it was such a switch because we did that's she was my but again i was young too so like when she got to like eight years old nine and ten it was like i can go get like lego indiana jones games and stuff again just come she come from school and like i'd help her rush through her homework so we that and just come she'd come from school and like i'd help her rush through her homework so we can like play like she was my buddy it was great i love that that we had that and being with her mother longer than i was for that is more than

worth that more more than worth that and uh and then to kind of skip to now it's like i think it's so cool she'll call me when a thing she's like hey my roommate's out on a date. I'm like, what are you doing? You want to watch TV or something? You want to watch a movie? She's close to you? She'll come over. Well, she's in Brooklyn. I'm in Manhattan, and she's kind of out in Brooklyn, so it's a crazy

train ride, but she knows how much I want her to love me. She'd definitely give like a it's just probably going to take me like two hours love me. So I was like, she'd definitely give like a, it's just probably going to take me like two hours on the train. You're like, I'll get you a fucking Uber, you dickhead. Because she knows. But I mean, the fact that she like, I love that.

She wants to hang out. We go to several Sixers games a year. We go to concerts. She comes to concerts with us. I can't wait for that. It was a great time. She knows I smoke weed. I got caught wait for that it was a great time she knows i smoked weed i got caught by her which was a funny one how old was she and i called her it's

funny i rectified it right away because i said we were talking earlier about that stuff with my dad it's funny how it hit she was 17 she was living with her mom and i was texting with her one night just bullshitting and my friend wayne i was going to his house but I was running late so I'm this isn't even true uh when I'm texting him but I just wanted to make an excuse for running late I go hey I'm just gonna roll a few more uh joints and go to and stop by the deli you want anything from the deli and then I don't like look at it and then I get the you know the vibration comes i look and it's my daughter texts me and she goes get me a sandwich dog and i wrote back and i wrote back

huh i clearly see what i wrote back holly we're having a conversation like in person i went huh and then i felt so stupid for that more than even the fuck up for texting and treating her so stupid is to be like what i didn't even send that. That must be a mistake. I just called her right away. And I was like, all right, your dad smokes pot. Let's talk. And what was cool about that, though, is I was also able to tell her.

I go, did you see, you know, like, my dad, I told her the whole thing I just told you. And I was like, and I really didn't start smoking with any regularity until I was like 27 years old. I just had this conversation with my daughter because unfortunately, a friend of ours, his daughter got a hot shot in Baltimore and she died of fentanyl. And he came to visit us and he was crying. I was crying. I was like, how are you doing? And he's like, we're doing good. And so then she asked me and we flew into Philly and drove down to Ocean City. That's where we went, Maryland. And on the ride back, she's like, why was he crying and what was going on? I was like, all right, you know what? It was that same long ride. I was like, this is what's going on.

So I explained to her about fentanyl. And I'm like, you're in elementary school. I know you have friends who have older siblings. If you see any pills, don't take any of that. And then I was like, I smoke marijuana. and i explained to her that marijuana is medicine even with what i just went through these doctors are telling me it's okay to smoke and if i prefer that to xanax then go ahead and i have them talking about that recorded so that she can hear real doctors say hey this thing is can be used as medicine yeah you don't like demonize it i told her i was like

you're getting a different education and probably every kid in your elementary school is getting about marijuana right now oh yeah she's like how come this and that i was like well there's a difference between medicinal and recreational and some people just they don't want to get up and make studios and podcasts they just want to lay on the fucking couch and watch sports center yeah i was like get charged 250250 at a stupid hotel. No, it's funny. My daughter and people say I'm naive,

but I don't think I am. I, I, I'm certain there's elements of my daughter that I'm unaware of. Uh, she's told me she would not involve me in anything with guys she's talking to or dating or God forbid hooking up with. So she doesn't bring any boyfriends to your shows or anything like that? Never.

And you've never met a boyfriend? I wouldn't even be able to. If you asked me if she ever went on a date with a guy, I'd go, I've seen no evidence of that. But I'm sure she has. Yeah, but she's kept it that clean. And friends of mine who she's close with also, she does some assistant work for once in a while.

My friend Michelle, like she confides in Michelle and Michelle doesn't like tell me anything, but she's like, of course she dates and there's guys she's interested in. But she told me, she's like, no, I will not bring a guy around you until I want to like be serious with him. And I was like, why? I can't make sure. Cause you're going to like terrify with him and i was like why i can't make sure because you're gonna like terrify them right away and she doesn't mean like because she knows i'm not like uh my baby girl better be home like i'm not that person she's just like you're gonna like make fun of his pants until he like doesn't want to be around me anymore and i'm like oh that might happen she doesn't you and your friends are gonna like run you're gonna take it you're gonna put a picture

of them up on your podcast and everything and i'm'm like, yeah, these are all, you got me. That is a thing. So I'm like, but she'll go and like, she's told me she smoked pot before. I believe she doesn't drink. I'm not saying she doesn't at all, but I think she doesn't really much because I've given her like, you know, like a martini.

I was like, Oh, that's alcohol. You know, like we went to a steakhouse a couple weeks ago and I was like, and she was like, is it? And she like did it.

I could see it's like the real, because it's me. I same, I'm not a big, I hate the taste of alcohol. And so I think she doesn't use it a lot. I think she probably smokes weed a little bit. She doesn't smoke cigarettes.

She probably has vaped a bunch. And, uh, but I've even asked her about the drug. She's told about drugs she's been around and stuff like that and i'm like you've never even tried it at all and like i think i believe that she believes if she said i tried cocaine once that i will talk with her about it i'm like here's why you should not do that which i've already done i'm especially today no the fentanyl it's not even safe but i believe her when she says she goes no now she goes i think she goes my friends really think like if you die from drugs like how lame

that your time on earth is like so useless you died from drugs that's a great attitude i believe her it makes sense at the same time also that she might try molly one do you know what i'm saying i don't i'm not disconnected I don't, I'm not disconnected. I don't think she, because also I'll say, what are you doing tonight? And she'll be like, oh, this underground party they're doing in the Bronx. It's like under this bridge and it's like DJs and everything. And then what, so what time? Oh, they'd go to a cops come and then everyone kind of like, you know, they break it up. I'm like, are they arresting people?

They go, no, they just like come and make everyone kind of break down and leave. And I'm like, what time we get, just kind of whenever that happens. And I mean, if that's the latest, there have been like four in the morning where she was at. And I say, well, if you're doing that, like, please let me know if you need an Uber first to get over. But do not get on the subway. And let me know when you're home safe. Like, she'll call me and like, I could tell by her voice, she's not like fucking whacked out or anything you know i mean like she'll be hey we're home so and so threw up you know whatever and we're back now i mean i can't answer more than that at that age hell years old yeah 20 no

fuck no you know so i'd be but i can't wait i'm almost excited like because and you'll see this i think with uh i'm excited I think, with your daughter's. She's only eight. She's eight years old. So it's interesting to see the things that happen that seem like you're like, when you're a dad, exactly, them having sex, them whatever, piercings, tattoos. You're like, oh, somehow it just is. Do you know what I mean? My daughter's got like four tattoos not big but

like three of them are horrible like shitty artwork it's the more i told her i go isabella tell me when you when you really want to get another tattoo and let's get you like a really good idea if you're gonna do it and get you an actual artist. Cause I go, it's insane. This things you'd have to live with forever now on this, on your dumb skin. But like, uh, but even the first day she had a tattoo, you're like,

you get the initial, you're like, okay, here it is that moment. And then same thing with her going to, uh, uh, you know,

three years ago, it's in your mind. You're like, she had like a, uh, not even a curfew. She was to really go out and do like friends, like late night stuff. It wasn't her thing.

And now she's at an overnight rave thing that's happening. And so when it's happening, you're just like, the reason it's okay. When she, when I find out she had sex or if she has now, I don't know. And if, if whenever I find out that she did, whatever it was, or she has a boyfriend, I'm not sure. that she did whatever it was or she has a boyfriend where i'm not sure something about is that even as drastic as it all seems if you know them is what makes it not that so i'm like she has tattoos now i'm like tattoos but i'm like it's still fucking isabella just with a dumb tattoo on her behind her ear now you know i mean like fuck and the fact that i can and also a relationship

where i can go it's like stop getting shitty tattoos you fucking idiot you know what I mean and she's like what do I look so I think that's like you can't really ask for more than that that's what I'm saying

that sounds fucking amazing you kind of get like you just get over it because you're like yeah it's a human thing right and she's a person her own person

she's eventually going to fuck a guy she's eventually going to have a relationship she might she might fuck a guy that she meets one night and that guy's kind of shitty to her and never talks to her again and she fucks whatever it is like what it is like at the end of the day there you don't love her because of the sum of her

mistakes you know it's very that's very well said dude see we got deep this is like us the sum of her mistakes we'll be right back that's where the fuck is we're gonna throw the commercial back after these messages all right i asked you also we talked before we were recording about not just getting deep but also if you had any embarrassing stories people done you you put up two yeah and i would love to fucking go out on those um you got you got seen kevin hart and sixers audience yeah the sisters audience is a pretty funny one well actually i'll go sequentially i'll tell the kevin hart one is funny in sacramento he um kev is performing at this couple years ago and kevin hart for the background started together me and him started together me him and kurt metzger kev but two years we drove from philly to new york every day

you know five six days a week uh with keith robinson and we were just buddies you know we just hit it off me and kev kev kind of went to la uh sort of quick he went to LA sort of quick. He went to Montreal pretty quick, and then he got stuff. And in small parts, he was moving and shaking. And then I just kind of had the slow steps going. So where our worlds come back and collide, several years after not seeing each other, he's headlining, he's performing and headlining at the Arco Arena, which is where the Sacramento Kings play.

I'm doing 85 shows in six days at the Punchline. And I get a hold of Kev or vice versa. I don't remember which, but one of us knew the other one was in town somehow. Probably, let's assume it was me reaching out. But he was like, oh, come hang at the hotel for a little bit. And I was like, oh, come hang at the hotel for a little bit. And I was like, all right. And I get a cab, and I take the cab, 25-minute drive or so. And the guy's asking me, the cab driver's like, why are you going?

If you don't mind me asking, are you changing hotels? Because I didn't see you have luggage or anything. I go, oh, no. And it's a cab driver. So you go, oh, you'll probably think this is pretty cool. I go, Kevin Hart, I'm a comedian. I'm in town doing the punchline, blah, blahvin hart is a old friend of mine he's in town doing the arena and he's like oh yeah i know it i was like so i'm gonna go uh visit him say hi catch up he's like oh that's so cool and then

he starts asking a ton of questions about me doing uh uh what's my call he's asking about me doing the shows the improv and i'm a comedian that's so coolallit, he's guessing about me doing the shows, the improv, and I'm a comedian, it's so cool, and he's being super complimentary sort of. And then after some lull, he goes, he goes, is it possible to get tickets at all? And I was like, yeah, sure. It's a bunch of shows. You just got to let me know which show and whatever.

He goes, a bunch of shows? At the Arcoco arena i was like oh you went for a kev show i was like no no dude i don't know i don't think i can get you tickets for it i'm sorry and he's like oh man all right i had to ask you know whatever and i'm like and it was quiet and awkward and when i get out of the cab he goes, here's a card. He goes, it's hard to get a cab out here. It was like before Uber was everywhere. It's hard to get a cab out here, so take this. Call me.

Give me five minutes, and I'll pick you up, take you back. Okay. It was awkward, but I'm like, who cares? Drive me home. I go. Cab says, meet me in the hotel gym. The hotel gym. I've never seen this besides this hotel.

The entrance for it is outside. It's not like through the hotel gym i've never seen this besides this hotel the entrance for it is outside it's not like through the hotel it's like the gym for the hotel but yet go outside when we leave well first i stand there and i'm not in workout clothes i stand while he finishes up his workout uh and you know lamenting his successes i'm asking him in fairness but i'm just like yeah what was it man he's like specials and uh and you know shaquille his successes. I'm asking him in fairness, but I'm just like, hey, what was it, man? He's like, specials. And, you know, Shaquille O'Neal did something. And then we leave the gym. And it's, I would say, about 30 yards from gym door to front of the hotel.

30 yards shuts the city off. I mean, like, cars stop stop people come out of buildings people yards out of windows they can't they're so blown away and so psyched kevin hart's taking his little walk from his gym clothes in a towel just going in front uh they also annoyingly in my mind i'm going well they definitely have insecurity also which sucks and we go in the hotel go up to his room and you know it's everything you think is like a bunch of rooms basically an apartment on top of this beautiful hotel and you want uh you want a lobster we got lobsters and it's a lot and i'm telling i'm also i'm doing these seven shows and fun i go that weekend going like headlining finally and then

you get you know it gets smacked in the face with it again because i'm like again it's a headline weekend it's all those shows for like you know minimum guarantees and stuff yeah you know this isn't like money like you're yeah when you come home from those gigs after buying food all weekend and stuff you're coming home with like hundreds of dollars that's right um and and i'm watching his life just like hitting me where i'm just like you really feel like a failure and i'm trying to like find some oh and he's also showing me his he's got as a crew there of like film crew showing him the new intro for his special it's like there's pyro and he's being shot out of the floor and i'm like you know in front of a sold out arena somewhere and i'm like well i'm just trying to look around for some semblance of like not his part because kev's

kev personality if i saw him tomorrow i hope i see him at the super bowl it'd be great um but he's just like uh i i you know i go i'm trying to find some semblance of like connection man what's like something that, we can relate to anymore still. And his boys are all playing Xbox 360 NBA. And I go up, still bringing the 360 on the road though. Some things don't change, right? So maybe the first words I said in 15 minutes, I'm just scanning for something.

I go, some things never changed, right? Still bringing the Xbox 360. I go, me too, Diego. Mine's like hooked up in my room right now uh i got a game on pause actually and he goes oh no no he's just saying a matter of fact he's not like rubbing it in my face but you know when you're in that zone that's how you feel it all he's like uh oh yeah he goes uh he goes no no we just when we land we have the runner go grab one and then we just leave it for the housekeeping to have.

And I was just like, I have to leave. I was like, I got to go. I got to get ready for my show. It's like 2 p.m. They're just donating 360s every season. Jesus Christ. So I go, sorry. I go, I have to leave.

I just make some excuse. I got to get out of here. I call the guy. He comes pick me up, and he gets in. I just make some excuse. I got to get out of here. I call the guy. He comes pick me up, and he gets in the car, and he goes, hey, man. He's like, how was he? He's like, he's like probing a bit, and I'm like, it was fine, man. Like, I know. He's like, was it all?

What's he like? And I'm like, no, I know him. I'm like, it's like an old buddy. So I was like, yeah, he was great. It was good to see him. It was good to catch up. Just trying to get out of the conversation. And the guy goes, by the way, man, I'm like, I feel really stupid for what I asked before.

He goes, if that offer's still on the table, I'd love to come see one of your shows if that's okay. And I was like, yeah. I'm almost disregarding of him, but I'm just like, sure. I'll get you. I'm like, yeah, just like sure you know yeah i'll get you i'm like yeah man that's fine i'll get you tickets and he goes on about a five minute thing about like oh man it's gonna be so cool the punchline i'm gonna bring my girl and be like yo i know the comedian like we should we be able to say hi afterward he's like selling a night of like this thing and i'm like yeah dude totally it'll be great and then we sit quietly for like 25 minutes and i'm the whole 25 minutes i'm just in my head going like you know

maybe i should have went to college like i don't know i fucking doubt everything yeah i'm like i'm like there's like such a gap between our success do you know what i mean i'm just like i'm like i'm like at this point i'm probably in my 30s you know already i'm like like maybe not deep 30s but like early to mid like the early mid 30s and i'm like i'm not like anywhere like near okay like financially at all and i'm like it's just weighing on me and then as i'm getting out of the he pulls up in front of the hotel my stupid shitty hotel and i start to step out of the car and he's like not saying anything and I go uh man you want to give me like uh your info or take my

you know I'm giving my number you want my number for the thing this guy looks he leans back and he goes dude I'll be honest with you I'm probably not going to come I had to go inside and call my mom to not hang myself from a stealing fan in that hotel.

One last kick in the nuts. Yeah, for real, dude. You're already crawling. Dude, the oversell on the thing goes, oh, man, is it cool we have a drink with you? Do we buy you a shot afterwards? He's like, yeah, man, whatever. I'll say hi to you and your chick. Yeah, dude, honestly, he just didn't want the ride home to be awkward, so he got me all goosed up.

And then he's like, yeah, dude, I actually don't give a shit bye genius it is pretty impressive and where that'll flow into the other thing i think you'll like that i think you'll like where it flows into it is like so it's always my and kev is you know unfortunately for me i mean fortunately for me a friend and a great dude, but unfortunately, you know, that's your gauge, the person you're like next to when you start. What are they doing? And also Metzger, too, when we went into the mainstream comedy world more, whatever you want to call it, you know, out of the black circuit. Kurt, because he was such a great joke writer and so good at that already, I now have to adjust my hip-hoppy like pandering comedy and kurt's like so kurt's getting his half hour special before me and all that stuff so now i

feel like kurt's zipping me do you know i mean you feel like last man out and i've always just kind of carried that stupid and particular things and you'll appreciate this for sure as a sports fan i know you are i'm starting you know i got a bat yeah you do yeah you're the guy oh i heard about a guy getting a bat um i i um i watched kev uh on all these things one and i'll yell from the rooftops and kevin hart i genuinely love you and I root for you every day. He's not an Eagles fan. It's very easy to play Madden with Kevin. He's a Giants fan. Now, that may have just changed over the years, but if it did change in over the years, then

you're a chick because then that means a boyfriend made you a fan of his team. No, I think honestly what it probably is, he's a Philly son. You know what I mean? He's so known that he kind of like – I'm sure he became an Eagles fan when they gave him probably the key to the city. And I'm a huge Sixers fan too. And like just – I mean, after that Niners-Eagles game, my daughter loves, by the way, she loves sending me a good picture

of Kev killing it because she's like, don't you know him? She always looks like, don't you know him? Yeah. And it was like Joel Embi bead with kev celebrating with the eagles after the win and you're like god damn it and i when i started making any kind of money one of my first favorite things to do is i'm you know i can't it's like when i was a kid where i can go to 15, 16 Sixers games a year. But if I go to a couple, now, so when I go to the games, I'm like, I'll drop a couple bucks so we can like,

no, I want to, I know the row. I'm like, I want to sit seventh row and, you know, behind this bench so we can see the offense in the second half. I just know where to go. And they're expensive. And they vary of price, but they're always expensive. And through radio gigs, because the in-house announcer for the Sixers is a friend of mine, because I've done his radio show a bunch.

And he's great. And when I started making a couple bucks, I remember saying, I was like, I want to get a season ticket. I'm going to get a 10-game thing. I'll making a couple bucks, I remember saying, I was like, I want to get a season ticket. I'm going to get a 10-game thing. I'll give a couple away. But I want those seats that I sit in were comparable. And I go, and it's all these things. You have to fill out a form and join the Sixers Club, whatever.

And then you have to go on a waiting list and all this stuff. And I go, no, man, come on. I'm in entertainment enough, enough, that I go, I don't want this for free. You told me the face value price for these season tickets. I'll pay, but I just want to get, I don't want to go through all this rigmarole.

Always like a run around, run around people so they can do something for me. They can't. Matt Cord is the name of the announcer. Such a sweet guy. I say something to him at one point. I'm like, man, I want to get something good. But it's like, I got to join the corporate whatever.

And he goes, I'm going to tell them corporate accounts that I'm going to have a guy call you and get this sorted out for you. I could tell when that guy called me. Matt Cord, it's a sweet testament to him. It's why I've never said a word about this. I've just acted like it never happened because Matt definitely presented to this guy like this. He goes, hey, call this guy right here. He goes, Big Jay Oakerson.

He goes, let's get some season tickets. And I know it's like that where he's going like pretty cool, right? And this guy is definitely like, I have no idea who that is. So he calls me and goes, yeah, Matt said you were looking to get season tickets. I was like, yeah, man, I really would like to be like in this area. And like, yeah, it would mean the world to me. I'm like goose bumpy, excited for this. And he goes, so yeah, he goes, you just got to go online

and fill out like the Sixers club. He just told me this process again. You already did. And then you go on that waiting list and it's whatever. And I'm like, oh, that's so. I never ask Matt again. He doesn't ask me about it. He assumes probably that when he sees me,

that's my season tickets. So now I start going. When I do go to these games and sit good seats, I loom at the floor seats on the side of the benches because for some reason that's the one I just know him now. The old man who gets in problems every year by going on the court, it says the sixth man on his thing, he owns all the dormitories at University of Pennsylvania.

That's why he's there, and he's a lunatic who thinks he's part of the team. But he pays for it, so they put him there. On the other side of the scorer's table, M. Night Shyamalan and whoever he brings, and a couple down is a lawyer named Tom Klein. I found this guy's commercials on TV because I'm like, who, why does this guy look disinterested? You tracked him down. I love it.

Disinterested and at 100% of the Sixers games. He must work in the building or something I don't know it's crazy and his girlfriend or wife who is never not just like feet on the floor of the court never not on her phone giving a shit

he doesn't seem to be appreciative I don't know what I wanted to do but he's just like so used to it by now he doesn't think it's that big a deal. Shyamalan I get, of course, but you're also just like, why am I not sitting next to Shyamalan? And I go and I have this envy

and every game I go to, I just have some moment where I'm like, especially if they lose, you're like, I'm in a fucking hole. Like all this money and got to drive back to New York sad. Now he's fucked.

They don't care. They don't give a shit. When we were down by 10 with like two minutes left, they left happily. Like, ah, we're going to have beat traffic. that and now he's fucked they don't care they don't give a shit when we were down by 10 with like two minutes left they left happily like ah we're gonna have beat traffic so one game i go to with christine my girlfriend and we're sitting behind the sixers bench seven rows i know they though row six i think five or six That's why I always do seven. One of those two is the first seat that rises.

I've paid big money for the third or fourth row on the floor. If you're not first row on the floor, everyone's level. Oh, is that right? Oh, they're all flat right there? Oh, that is nuts. It's the same thing we charge people money for. So you get a tall person sits in front of you, you're fucked.

It's over. I didn't know that. it's not even tall because it can't be anybody tall in front of you at all because if you're watching at you know you're behind the one of the benches so you're basically like three-quarter court like when you have to turn like if it's a tall person 20 people down they're blocking it down. It sucks. It's just a bad, bad seat. So I know the seats, and we're sitting in those, and I'm doing my stare at the people. I'm like, I don't get any love. Usually I tell Matt that I'm coming, the announcer,

so I come say hi. Let me go down and watch them shoot around before the game a little bit. But I didn't. That one we got there kind of late, so I'm like, I'm not going to bother him. Just sit in our seats. We don't need anything from him. You know what I mean? So I go and I'm looking at everybody pissed and then saying to Christine, I go, I'm over it.

I'm so over that they are not like, why do I get no Philly love? Like I pick them up all the time and there's murals of Kevin Hart in Philadelphia and I'm just giving my bitching my you know silly bitching on purpose be funny almost and then uh the water ice guy comes by and I go uh excuse me sir and this guy behind me like shoves me and I'm like and he goes dude and I'm on the screen no shit i look at what i smile and i mean i do i go i guess and i hear matt cord in house announcer he goes he goes oh is that him right there is

that him and i'm like i still guess and then it cuts to somebody else. Is that him right there? Is that another person? Is that him? Is that? And then it pulls out on this guy with a turban and a big crazy beard. He goes, no, there he is, everybody. It's tonight's Schick Razor, beard of the game. You thought they were going to give you a shot. I was like, in that look, I was like, when'll tell you in that look, I was, I was like,

when everybody else just goes like, ah, I guess I was like, here we go. I was just talking. The kudos that I sit back, they're about to say Big Jay Oakerson on the bottom of the screen. And the punch to that whole thing,

even more. Oh, fuck. The final punch in the gut. That's why I always love the layered story of like, just when you think you're out of it and over it, here's one more. So I was like,

well, you know what? It's cool. Look, I get it. I was a contestant and shit beard of the game, but I think I go, Matt saw me there.

So he's like, he gave me a little bit of extra cause they did. They had me on the camera a little bit longer. I go, that was Matt. Like give me a little, you know, he can't get approved to just shout me out.

So he gave me like a little, like, so after the game I go, I go, that was Matt giving me a little, you know, he can't get approved to just shout me out, so he gave me a little, like, pardon the knot. So after the game, I go, Matt, Matt. And he turns around and he goes, oh, you came to the game tonight? And I was like, he didn't even fucking recognize that. It wasn't even a shout out from him. It was an absolute, I was a random, shit beard of the game contestant. That's probably a prerecorded message of him going is that him

no i don't think so i think he sits there right and does it oh fuck god damn it that was so funny no i think he just doesn't i think i think what he's doing is he's just looking at a little monitor right here and going like and then he has to go like back over here doing whatever thing And then he has to go like back over here Doing whatever thing But man I wish there was footage like archival Footage of like and they go Look up there is that him right there

Oh my Oh my my I talked all that shit and look at this happening right now They're about to give Some love Reach back and he goes this is how I want my poster to look, everybody. And I lost, shit beard of the game. I was one of the people like, find any fat shit with a beard.

And the camera guy was like, there's a dummy. I'm sitting there. Dude, this has been a really fun episode. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me, man. I've been wanting to do it for a long time. Please, plug everything again. Your special, all of it. I've been wanting to do it for a long time. Please, plug everything again. Your special, all of it.

BigJayComedy.com for all my dates. B-I-G-J-A-Y Comedy dot com. All over the place running through the year leading up to the special Dog Belly coming out April 5th. Listen to the bonfire on Faction Talk Series XM 103. Listen to Legion of Skanks and SDR on Guest Digital Network.

One thing I'm going to ask you, because I just forgot, is advice, after everything we've talked about, advice you would give to your 16-year-old self? I said, almost what we said earlier, I'd go like, smoke a little pot. Maybe almost like that. Maybe don't be so tightly wound.

Because I wasn't like, I i was always like as a kid i was even like if i thought about big crowds i was always like i don't know i'm gonna get lost you know i mean i was like they say live a little more that's what i say embrace it that's great advice you're only young once that's the thing i that's yeah i think i really because of starting comedy so young too i gave up youth i didn't have like it's a boo-hoo i was in comedy clubs but it was a very like my best friends and closest daily friends were 20 year older than me guys by that point you know i mean your comedy clubs talking to the old vets you know or the uh the guys that were in their 30s when i was 19 so it was such a directional shift that i'm like

do it see it more it's why i appreciate guys like ari shafir and shit my life and there's a few other guys who do things like when i go on the road with ari burke kreischer is another one of those guys too it's like when we did even like that summer tour where it's designed for us all to hang out my instinct still is like yeah i'll come out and we'll have like food and i'm to go watch YouTube videos back in my bunk with the thing closed and the AC on. And just kind of not bother with anybody. And then I'll pop out and smoke a cigarette. And we'll have a good conversation.

But they're like, no, we're going to set up a disc golf course for us. And I'm like, and my instinct is to go like, yeah, you guys have fun. But it's like, you fuck face, like go do it. Yeah, right, go do it. And Ari, I'm in Toronto with him. You know, he's like go do it right and are you i'm in toronto with him you know he's like we're going we're going to go out to eat i'm like let's just get food and like watch a movie in the room or something he's like we're going like the we went to like one of those restaurants where you can't they blind you and everything's in the dark and i'm like yeah i

should experience i just don't and i'm trying to get better so i'd say that experience like life a little bit that's fucking great advice um and thank you again and thank you guys as well ryan sickler on all social media ryansickler.com we'll talk to you all next week Thank you.