The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Bobby Lee - BobbyDew

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

My HoneyDew this week is comedian, Bobby Lee! (TigerBelly, Bad Friends) Bobby Highlights the Lowlights of his 10-year relationship coming to an end and moving on from friendships he's had for decades. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: How To Buy A Home Podcast -Find How to Buy a Home on YouTube and wherever you listen to podcasts for your step-by-step guide to buying your first home! Liquid I.V. -Get 25% off anything you order when you go to https://www.Liquid-IV.com and use code HONEYDEW at checkout Pair Eyewear -Get glasses as unique as you are. Go to https://www.PairEyewear.com/HONEYDEW for 15% off your first purchase Dad Grass -Get 20% off your first order when you go to https://www.DadGrass.com/HONEYDEW 

La Jolla, California. I'll be at the La Jolla Comedy Store August 5th through the 7th. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I'll be there August 18th through the 20th. Austin, Texas. I will be there September 2nd through the 3rd. Get your tickets for those shows and all shows on my website at ryansickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, RyanSickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all social media. And again,

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I'll be in La Jolla August 5th through 7th, Philadelphia August 18th through the 20th, and Austin September 2nd and 3rd. That's Labor Day weekend. So get your tickets to that and all shows at ryanstickler.com. Now, that's all the biz. You guys know what we do here. We highlight the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers.

And I am very excited to finally have this guest. First time here on The Honeydew, y'all. Please welcome. We've worked together. Bobby Lee. Yeah. Welcome to The Honeydew, Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee.

Bro, bro, bro, bro. I did your thing. Other one, the crab crab. You did the crab feast. You did. Yeah, so it's not my first time. On the honeydew it is. But, okay.

Which I said. That's fine. That's fine. But can I ask you a question? Sure. You like this melon? No. The green melon.

Is that what honeydew is? That's what honeydew is. The whole point of it, very quickly, because I've said it a lot, but I do want to explain You don't have to get into it. You can tell me off screen. No. Off screen? Or off camera.

Are we in a movie? Yeah. I was eating at a diner one night, and they had that fruit cup there, and I ate everything in the fruit cup except for the honeydew. Right. Including the red grapes, which I like green grapes, but I ate red grapes over the honeydew. Yeah. And when I got up and I walked out, I saw honeydew scattered on all the tables. And I just thought, man, that's a perfectly good fruit that most of us just fuck off. We'll pass, yeah.

And then it dawned on me that in life, I am that. I'm a perfectly good person that's been thrown away and tossed away again and again and again. It's funny. So I wanted to lean into the shit show instead of everyone's highlights. Look at my life. I'm on a yacht. I'm on a this. Like,'s highlights look at my life i'm on a yacht i'm on this like i want to know when you weren't on a fucking yacht right when you're on your knees right right so what i'm saying is is that when i wasn't saying anything but my point

is is that my point is is this is i know i know you and you say a lot of things like so and so didn't give me you know respect back then or he ignored me or this and that. Because I have the same thing. I have a list of people I'm going to get revenge on, right? But don't you think a lot of that is in our minds? I think a lot. No. Well, yes, because we do think it. It's in our minds.

However, it's happened. You can't deny that. But it happens to everyone? Sure. Everyone gets disrespected and shit on all the time, yeah. But I don't – see, here's the thing. I told you before when we were talking. I don't harbor ill feelings.

I use it as fuel to move forward. You know what I mean? Like, go ahead. But also, most of the people that have big-timed me, and they've all turned out to be shit shows. You know what I mean? I'm like, huh. The one thing that's been – how old are you now?

I'm 49. We're the same age. I'm 50. It's one of the lessons that's been, how old are you now? I'm 49. We're the same age. I'm 50. It's one of the lessons that's taken me longest to learn in life, and I still slip up here and there, is that most things take care of themselves. I don't have to jump in and say this and do that and blah, blah, blah. But let me just have that point, though.

So I was at Keegan Key's birthday party Key's birthday party and Ron Howard was there. I'm a big Ron Howard fan. Fuck yeah. Right? And so I was like telling Kalilah, I was like, I gotta say something, right? She's like,

don't just ignore it, right? And so he was at the buffet and I love Apollo, as Apollo, I said, I love Apollo, right? He just kind of walked away with his thing, right?

Yeah, he kind of just walked away with thing, right? And I got about 13 and he was gone by the time I said 13, he was gone, right? He just kind of walked away with his thing, right? Yeah, he kind of just walked away with thing, right? And I got by 13 and he was gone by the time I said 13, he was gone, right? My point is, is that he, number one, he probably didn't hear it, right? Number two, he probably gets it all the time, right? So it's like, normally I would be like, oh, I'm going to take that person. I'm going to get revenge and run out. But at the end of the day, he probably didn't hear it.

And, you know, it's a party. He's got other people. No, what I'm saying though is that, but I didn't hear it. And, you know, it's a party. That's different, though. No, what I'm saying, though, is that, but I know that dudes come up to me and go, I've heard, like, Bobby Lee's an asshole. And they go, why? Because, oh, well, he's, you know, I said, I've met him three times. And, you know what I mean? He doesn't remember me or whatever like that. But it's, like, something that I'm not really privy to or I'm aware of.

My point is, is that in life, right, right you know maybe it's a lot of it just lives in our head yeah well i did shows with you and knew you for well over a decade and then when i got to work with you individually yeah on the comedy jam you were like who are you and but but i didn't remember that but also i didn't take it personally because I know that is how it is. Some people are. Everyone's got their – look, just because we're coworkers. At the end of the day, if you strip away what we do – because what we do, I do believe, is magical and it's fucking awesome. But at the end of the day, if you just classify it as a job, okay, we're just coworkers.

All of us are coworkers. That's true. so you've got some of these co-workers we're in a big corporation that's it with a lot of people that work in there that's right you're gonna know everybody no some people coming in now you'll know them hey hey jan yeah hey whatever how's this how's that but you know outside of that you don't text talk hang out but so brian simpson you know him i remember a time where for a couple years i never even looked at the dude right i go is that a homeless black man you know what i mean like it's a fat homeless black man right and that's what i would think in my head right and then

all of a sudden like i, I could see him rise. You see him rise, right? And it's nothing that I'm not going out of my way to do it. I just would find myself in conversations with them and just being – I'd see him perform. I'd go, God, this guy's really good. And over the years. And then, like, he was in Austin. We were doing some festival.

I don't know. Whatever. Moon Tower. Moon Tower. And he was sitting there outside of the hotel. It was, like, 6 in the morning. He had just just partied and he just got that i had already slept and he didn't look good so i kind of walked up to him i rubbed his back and i go you know hey you should get some sleep by giving advice and he's like you think so i go yeah you you look weird you know i

mean and i want i was i was concerned for him right but the whole time in my head it's like dude i've been ignoring this guy i ignored this guy for years right so it's just like i've been analyzing that in my head like what is that about the human condition when you see somebody rise to your level and then all of a sudden you change but i don't like that about myself but is that is that what we are i don't know i try to treat everybody the same from the get-go because you never know who's going to rise. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. But also, I think this – you know what?

Let me focus for one second. Please plug and promote everything you would like to do right now. All your shows. Why? Why now? Because I always do it at the top and I do it at the end because I'm here for the comedian. Oh, wow. Instead of people who wait two hours and go, plug it now.

And then everybody's like, let me turn it on right now. Can I do it in like 10 minutes? You can do it whenever the fuck you want, but I want you to know we're doing it. That's another thing I want to change about myself. When people tell me to do something, I won't do it, but I want to change that about myself. I'm going to ask you. I'm not going to tell you. Will you please plug this?

I will, and I will, I will. I got nothing. No, I have – I'm on two podcasts tiger belly and um bad friends with andrew santino and then um yeah in august i guess i'm in a show called reservation dog second season and um i mean i have a bunch of other things but they're not coming out yet so yeah that's good good all right yeah um so what let's talk about what well you tell me if we're allowed to talk about it when i saw you you said

uh because i had said i've never met kalilah i i'm a fan of hers i want to say this okay 10 years ago when i met her on tinder my career was in the shitter like i like i was literally about to get let go of my agency and i wasn't bringing up any income i wasn't getting any auditions i would sporadically over the years maybe we'll book a pilot or something right but it was like nothing really attended to work out for me and i you know you know, I would see other people rise. And I was literally at a point where I was like, you know what, I got to change something about how I view my business and not to make it like my number one thing. You know, because, you know, when you make your business your number one thing, there's just a lot of pain that goes along with that, right? And life is not about that. So I, you know, decided to pour my attention into a relationship and I met Kalilah at the perfect

time. And, you know, in many ways, she's the love of my life. She reinvented my career. We started Tiger Belly with nothing. We just bought equipment from Guitar Center and we just started doing it. And this was about eight, nine years ago. And it grew and it helped other aspects of my business. And now I'm selling show. I have a couple of shows I sold. And I have a pretty big movie. I mean, know I mean just things are happening and I really equate that to um you know the dedication of Kalilah in me her investment in me and my investment in her and um she is the love of my life and I love her dearly and um she changed me in so many different ways. That being said, we broke up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And this is the first time, you know, I don't know if this is. We'll hold this episode until you announce it respectfully. Yeah, yeah. Because I really would like to meet her. I saw her for 10 seconds at Christina's party. Yeah. And you as well. You came in, bowed to me, and bounced.

And then I was like, where the fuck's Bob? You were dressed like a magical gnome or something. I was dressed like I was from the 80s, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what it was. I was an 80s party. Yeah. And you as well. You came in, bowed to me, and bounced. And then I was like, what the fuck's a gnome or something? I was dressed like I was from the 80s, bro. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what it was. I was an 80s party. It was dark. I go, is that a magical gnome? And I would love to have her on here, too.

Yeah. But I did not know you guys broke up. No one knows. This is the first time I've talked about it. Well, we'll hold this episode. Yeah, this literally is the first time i've talked about it on a podcast um hopefully my other one would have aired by now that people kind of know but um it was a long difficult decision between us and uh we still live together that's what you said

it was still sleep on the same bed we still laugh and giggle and um we're going to the philippines soon because we're working on a project together um yeah i mean nothing's really changed outside of the fact that we're not you know um a commit in a committed relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend um that might change i don't know i mean but right now we're we feel good i mean i can only speak for myself you know i mean i feel pretty good about it um it's painful it's hard i mean when you're in a relationship with someone that you love that hard for 10 years 10 years yeah but a lot of things went on you know know, and, you know, people follow the internet, you know, and follow my story, you know, a lot went on in the last year, but it's, you know, honestly, it was mostly my fault. pandemic, I could see myself out of the relationship in terms of like giving her what she needs.

You know, women, they need cuddles. They need attention. They need intimacy. They need all the, and I was not giving her anything. I was just playing video games and like watching porn all day. You know what I mean? And she would say every day, she would cry and be like, what about me? What's going on? And I'd just be like i'm just not i don't know i'm going through something i would make some some sort of excuse you know and um in the last two or three years we had sex maybe twice what yeah and she would always want it and i just for some reason i think getting into a business wait you're so you're saying you're not just watching porn you're jerking off you're self-satisfying. No, I watch porn for the cinematography. What the fuck are you talking about?

You said watch, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're self-satisfying everything, the video games, the comedy, the porn. And she's like, what about me? Yeah. Two to three times in two years? Yeah. Wow.

You reflect at your behavior and what caused all this. And she's getting a lot of things on the Internet. You know what I mean? And I have to take 95% of the blame, really, I think. I really believe that. I'm with you. That's good. Everything is getting more expensive, including rent. Prices are skyrocketing all over the country, and buying a home might feel scary right now, but it could be your most stable option. I highly recommend checking out the How to Buy a Home podcast. Host David Sedoni is an industry expert with years of experience who is devoted to helping first-time homebuyers navigate this crazy marketplace, and he can help you. Did you know there's a difference between interest rates and mortgage rates? David will break it all down for you. He's also shared pro tips and tricks to navigate this insanely competitive landscape. How to Buy a Home is an incredible resource, and you don't even have

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That's 25% off of anything you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code honeydew at liquidiv.com. Now, let's get back to the do. I regret so many things. I regret so many things. I regret a lot of things. I'm not even specifically to her. I've regretted things in my life, in my career, in other ways. You know what I mean? There's a lot of regret there. But at the end of the day, you know, I'm just authentically trying to be myself. And I'm

literally doing the best I can. I really am. You know, I do therapy every week. I have a psychiatrist once a month. I go to AA meetings. I do everything I can. I've always been into self-improvement. I've always been into seeing where my behavior is and where I can change. Am I a fucked up guy? Yeah. Do I have problems? Oh, yeah. A lot of problemos.

It's life. From now on, I think I'm unfuckable. Because I've never gotten a DM. You said this to me. Never gotten a DM. I mean, I've had girls. That's what I'm saying.

I've had girls that just send just titties. Like, hey, here's some titties. Thought you could start your day off. And I'm like, fuck yeah. It's so kind of them to do that. Yeah, I've never gotten a shoulder blade or a finger or nothing from a woman, but it's fine. But I told you, once you say you're single and you say that, you're opening the floodgates. You're going to get some titties.

I don't think so. Because I've asked for titties before. That's why you didn't get them. They're going to come. No, no, no. I've asked for titties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, yeah. I've asked for titties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, yeah.

I've gotten dicks. I believe that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've gotten a couple of dicks. I believe that. I don't like dicks. You know what I mean? More dicks than tits.

But you know, honestly, I don't – it's funny. I have no – I don't want to see anybody. That's what I want to – so you're at a point where you're not or you don't feel you can make things right in this relationship right now, yet you also don't want to go meet someone. No, it's not about that. I don't – literally don't want to. I have no interest in compromising, in listening. In being a good partner. Yeah, and pretending.

You know what I mean? I have no interest in that. You know what I mean? I have no interest of like, what about me? You know what I mean? I don't care. You know what I mean? Like –

You know, I don't care. You know what I mean? And it's like – Because I have no interest of like, you know, hey, let's go have dinner. But you know what? You know, I'm cutting out meat, so let's go to veggie grill, right? I'm going to Morton's. I'm just going to start dating you, dude.

Yeah, I'm going to Morton's. You have fun at veggie grill. I have no room in my life to go, I'll go there, right? You know, with me, it's like this is what you get with me, right? And this is – ask any girlfriend i've ever had right is you'll get some financial security in the sense of like you know i i always pay for the meal i mean if you want to go to tulum we'll go to tulum right um if you want but it's like you, one time this one girl was a DJ. I dated a girl that was a DJ, like an amateur.

And she's like, I'm DJing at a club, you know what I mean? Downtown or a little Tokyo. I go, have fun. Like, if she wanted me to go, I just have no interest. And that's, women don't like that. No, they don't like that. No don't like yeah no you know if they were like djing with steve aoki you know i mean i'll go that you know i mean but it's like i'll go one time i'll go one time yeah i'll go one time right but then it's like you're there and then you know

what i mean you're like and then you gotta lie like're good. I don't know what good is as a DJ. Yeah, I don't either. So you're lying. You're like, you were really good when you did the two things. You know what I mean? The chika chika was so good. You know what I mean? But like, I don't want to, I'm lying.

You know what I mean? And it's like, here's another thing, though, that I want to say is that, like, I'm also very good at supporting what you do. Like, for instance, right? Let's say you're a girl, right? And you're like, you know, I like going into the mountains and I like going to the rivers and I like panning for gold. That's your hobby. Like your great-grandfather was a gold panner.

49er. Yeah, 49er is what they call you, a 49er, right? And if you were my girlfriend, you said, I'm going to go to Colorado. I don't know where they do it. Do they do it in Colorado? I don't know if anyone does it anymore. I'm going to go to the mountains of Columbine. Is that a thing? I don't know.

I'm going to go to the mountains of Columbine because that's the only thing I know about Colorado because of the shooting. Yeah, yeah. So I'm going to go to the mountains of Columbine and I'm going to go paying for gold for a month. I'd be like, do you need money to go? Yeah. I'll give you the money.

Right? You go. Right? Just don't fuck anybody else. Right? And I'm completely for that. Right? But if I play more than two hours of video games, it's a problem.

Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah. So you're independently codependent what does that mean meaning you like alone time you like to be by yourself go over there do whatever you want to do be loyal have fun yeah enjoy it hell here's some money i'll support it but i'm gonna stay right the fuck here and do my thing yeah i you know um you like to be starfield is going to come out in about eight months i think you know i know what I mean? Is this the movie? No, it's a Bethesda video game.

Oh, okay. Right? And they did Fallout and Skyrim, right? And I know that when Starfield comes out, I'm going to be playing that thing 16 hours a day, baby. Are you really? Oh, yeah. That's your thing? Yeah. I don't give a fuck.

I'm playing it 16 hours a day. And I don't want to be in a relationship where they're like, we're going to go to the park, and I don't want to do that. I think 50, and I was like, I don't want to do it, and I'm sorry.

If you want to go to the park with your friends, I'm all for it. If you want to go to Maestro's in between video games and get a steak dinner, let's do it. I'm your guy. Yeah, and at two in the morning if you want to go to Maestro's in between video games and get a steak dinner let's do it I'm your guy yeah and at 2 in the morning

you want to come over you want to give me a hand job let's do it a hand job whatever it is whatever it goes you know what I mean I'll eat your vagina

you know what I mean I'll eat your vagina you know what I mean whatever you want you know what I mean and I'll do it good I'll do the best of my ability

I'll do the best of my ability right my point is so this is so that's why i know from now on right i feel like i'm just gonna be alone okay so that's what i was gonna say so you've accepted that there is no human woman out there that's going to say yes to that proposal you just gave and you're you're okay with that and you you don't blame them one bit yeah you don't blame them one bit

yeah what do you mean blame what well I'm saying if you said look I'm going to be playing this game for 16 hours a day and they were like hey no thanks you're like I get it no harm no foul here's my thing

if I wasn't making money right that's one thing, right? But I go on the road. If I book a movie or TV show, I do that. I show up on time. I know my lines. I know the character.

You know what I mean? I sold a couple of shows, one with Theo Vaughn at Fox, right? I'm going to get the showrunner for that, you know what I mean? And I'm going to go into the writer's room and try to figure this out, right? And me and Theo came up with the idea. So creatively, I do all the things I need to do to make money and to be productive in that way, right? If I was a guy that was just smoking weed all day

and doing that, that's one thing, right? But I'm not, I'm not a loser, right? It's just that I don't want to go to Veggie Grill. And you know what I mean? I don't. Well, that a loser, right? It's just that I don't want to go to Veggie Grill. You know what I mean? I don't. Well, that sounds like video games is your golf. That's what I'm saying, dude. Yeah.

How long do you play golf for? I don't golf, but I know those guys are out there like six, seven, eight hours and shit. Right. And for some reason, golf seems okay because you're outdoors. Right. And you're with your buddies, right? Yeah. But it's like-

Spending more money than you are on those video games. Right, right. Lessons, clothes, clubs, balls, tees, all of it. Yeah, so that's where I'm at. I'm also 50. And also, can I just be honest with you? You look great, Bobby. Thanks.

But I'm a kind of chubbier old Korean man now. In the market, I don't know. In the market, I don't know. Here's what it is. I have, you know what I mean? I have alpha man, alpha male eyes.

That's the thing, right? Like I think God intended me to be with like a four foot seven Vietnamese girl named Ning Ning. Right? Oh, whatever. Oh, whatever. You know what I mean?

Like, you know, I think that's what God intended, but I have alpha man, alpha male eyes. Like, you know, all those dudes. You know what I mean? Like, you know, I think that's what God intended, but I have alpha male eyes. Like, you know, all those dudes, you know what I mean? The comedy store that you know, or in the comedy, right? They're machismo. I have their eyes when it comes to like attractive women, right? Kalilah's very attractive, right?

She's beautiful, yeah. And so it's like, I just feel like with this new approach, you know what I mean? And with my alpha male eyes, I'm just going to be alone. And I'm okay with that. Are you? No. But I'm going to have to be because it's like.

Are you okay with it for a minute? At what point do you think, and it's going to be difficult too because she's in the same home, what point do you think you'll start longing for that affection? I don't think so. No? No. Do you not enjoy it? Let's be honest. Can we be honest for a second?

Please. What I've realized, because I've analyzed every relationship I've ever been in, right? In the first two years, you know what I mean? You're into it, right? Because you're getting to know the person, you know, the mystery of it all. Like when I first saw Kalilah naked, I cried. Did you?

Oh, yeah, I whimpered. And I looked at the heavens and I said, thank you, Lord. There is a God. You know what I mean? This is like winning a million-dollar lottery. I said, thank you, Lord. There is a God. You know what I mean? This is like winning a million dollar lottery. I appreciate it. So in the beginning, it's always that, right?

And you're getting to know the person. Everything's a mystery, right? But after about three or four years, the mystery goes away, right? And it becomes more of a friendship and a compromise and you have to start you know and life happens right people get sick you know i mean things happen you get old you know i mean and it's like it begins to fall apart you know and it's like i just why is that right and i just think that am i the type of guy that likes the mystery of it and the chase? And then once I have it, I mean, does that all go away? And what I found over the years is it does for me.

So I have to figure out how – I don't want that to happen again, right? And so – So how do you, Bobby Lee, get over that hump? That's what you need to figure out? They break apart, and I want to meet somebody where it just doesn't. Look, I get it. I have never had a successful relationship. It's always either me or them, you know?

Yeah. Look, I'm not easy. I'm setting my ways. I'm 49. I'm 50. So also, I say not easy. I'm setting my ways. I'm 49. I'm 50. Also, I say this all the time. As comedians, what we do is a very selfish thing. It's a solo sport.

It's not improv. It's not an ensemble. It's a solo sport. When you're up there, you're up there by your fucking self. We don't see each other unless we're on the same show in town outside of that we're seeing each other maybe in an airport here and there it's a selfish and not in a negative way but that's what selfish is it's all about me and this is my thing that i'm doing so i get it also as a comedian how exactly how you feel with like,

I'm good on fucking veggie grill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. It's a selfish thing. Here's another added element to my situation is that my intentions with Kalilah is we're continuing to do Tiger Valley indefinitely. Well, I mean, that's very mature too because why kill a fucking something that's no we work great together and we also have other things that we're producing and things that we're

doing and um she's my best friend and so that's another thing it's like i have that with her you know i mean and so i can't see a world where I have no interest you know what I mean but every once in a while I would love to see a titty you know what I mean like just a random titty on DM you know what I mean but that's it you know what I mean I don't know maybe I'll change my tune you know what I mean

this is fresh for me and people change but you know with all that said you know I have no interest I you know with all that said you know i i have no interest i um you know i want to focus on you know internal um things in terms of just getting better as a human being you know i you know i also just let the internet affect me you know yeah i mean you've gone through a lot of shit yeah especially for someone who has um the issues you talk about openly to have to go through that amount of stress and anxiety the last couple months. It's been terrible.

It's been crazy. Yeah, it's been terrible. Yeah, there's a lot of things going on that people aren't even privy to that I'm not willing to talk about. But there are a lot of things that are going on. And I just, as a human being, I buckled. And I have to change. And so that's what- Well, I'd like to say this.

You can say you buckled. I don't think you buckled. You bent a little bit. But when I saw you in the green room the second time, the first time I called, I lent you my support. I gave you a hug. And I did say that the words mastermind and Bobby Lee should never be back-to-back anyway. So that's how I knew all that was bullshit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the next time I saw you in the green room, you were like, I'm fucking Bobby Lee. And I was like, goddamn right you are. You're Bobby fucking Lee. Yeah, I forget. What does that mean even? Everything to you. That's what the fuck. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?

Yeah. It's a strange thing because it's like you – we go to the grocery store. We're human beings, right? We have the same problems as everyone else. I'm just, I'm a human being living on this planet. And I never think about really who I am or what I do, right? Every once in a while, a kid will come up to me and go, no soltos papaya, or they'll say I'm a bad friend

or whatever I might be. And it feels great. Or I loved you on this, you know what I mean? And that feels good. But at the end of the day, it's like, you know, you forget about, I don't know. I mean, it's a combination between being, because, you know, I struggle between being an egomaniac and the king and a peasant, right?

Like sometimes I feel like I'm the king. Look at who me, look at me. And then there's a lot of times, and this could fluctuate during the day where I feel like I'm a piece of shit. I'm a loser. And you go into whatever that is, you know what I mean? And I just wanna get to a point where I'm just who I am

and just in the middle somewhere. I mean, that's really essentially where I want to be, you know? But yeah, I am. So when I told you that I'm Bobby Lee, it was because I had spent that for two, three weeks going, I'm a loser, you know what I mean? I'm a PC, because I read things online and stuff. And I just, you know, that day I saw you,

I was just like, you know, no, fuck it, I'm Bobby Lee. You know what I mean? So it's like, but I do want to find the middle set i had a pretty good set yeah but you know i want to be in the middle you know don't you want to be in the middle yeah yeah yeah i mean look let me ask you this thing because you mentioned outside we were going to get coffee you mentioned rehab so what happened to how long ago was rehab and and what what actually made you finally say all right i'm gonna do it uh the deaths of um bob saget and louis anderson yeah yeah it was weird i um i was used like you know i went to mexico with santino to do the Cancun. Fucking Santino.

Yeah, Santino. The Cancun Just for Laughs thing. And I was totally just I had a vomit beard. I had poo on my fingers. I was fucked up. Were you drinking? Yeah, I was drinking. You know what I mean? I had poo on my fingers and vomit beers.

You know what I mean? I was just walking. I was just dazed. You know what I mean? I was just walking, I was just, you know, dazed, you know what I mean? And I had a bunch of drugs on me. It was really bad. Is that the first time in how many years you used? A couple years, you know what I mean? But I had already been doing it for a couple of months, but it was like now getting out of hand where it was like 24 hours a day

and this and that. Yep. out of hand where it was like 24 hours a day and this and that yep and um then i then bob saget and died and then louis anderson died and then i started coughing up blood whoa yeah i started coughing up chunks of like blood and i would send it to kalilah and i go am i what the fuck can't breathe from just from the drinking? No, from smoking cigarettes and so much weed. You know what I mean? And there were like balls of red chunks of things in a napkin.

And then I just started thinking, I just convinced myself that I had lung cancer. Jesus Christ. And I go, I'm next. Because I also have, I'm OCD. So I was like, everything happens in threes. I'm the third one. I just became obsessed with it. Right. And then I convinced myself I couldn't breathe. I would have these panic attacks and I would be also drunk or high or a combination between both things. And I just became imprisoned in my own mind, you know, and I started doing prayers,

you know what I mean? Like, please, I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I have too much to do. And I asked Kalilah, book me into a rehab. And that's, I went. That's essentially all it was, you know, I, it was the worst psychological one. You know, I, um, it was the worst psychological one. You know, I could probably last another year or two after that, but it was, um, yeah, I, you know, you're also, when you turn 50 and you're acting like that, you know what I mean? And then people, not, not that Bob Saget and Louis Anderson are my age, they're a couple of generations, probably a generation or two above me. You know what I mean?

But these are two people that I knew. I wasn't as close to Bob, but he was very nice to me. But Louis I used to open for and stuff. And I just thought, yeah, I just have too much to do. And I'm old and I have to change. I can't do this anymore. You know what I mean? Your body just kind of goes, whoa.

I think that's what it was. I think my body was going, we can't do this shit that you were doing when you were 17. Right. You know? And so after I got out, I went to two places. After I got out, after a month, you know, and I lost. Was it a month?

Yeah. I lost, I had a movie that I had got booked with Zooey Deschanel. It was a pretty good movie that when I was in rehab, I lost because I was in rehab. Oh, man. I lost a TV show. You know what I mean? I lost things. You know what I mean?

And when I got out, I'm like, you know, I just equated all that stuff to be like a result of doing that kind of behavior. And so I'm doing everything I can just not to get back there again. I want to do the next chapter of my life, which I feel like is my final chapter. I don't know how many chapters I have, but for the rest of my life, I want to do it the best way I can in a healthy way. It's interesting. When I worked for Oprah. You worked for Oprah? I did.

I worked for Oprah. Oprah Winfrey? There's only one, bro. I don't know. I don't know. Oprah Williams. Wait, wait, wait. You worked for Oprah Winfrey?

Yeah. Where? Right here in LA. When she started her network, owned the Oprah Winfrey Network, I was – Do you ever talk to her? I met her one time. Yeah. Twice I met her.

I went and I was a producer on her shoots and stuff, and they were doing shows. So I got to meet her, all their guests and shit. But I was very early in setting up her network out here. And at the time, there was this thing they called a shift. It happens in your life. And it sounds like you're going through one right now. You're shedding a lot of old relationships that you've had for some time. And it seems like this shift is coming.

And I don't think it's necessarily just because you're 50. I think there's this time in your life where certain things fall out the way they fall out and you're in a shift and you're shedding some people and things and maybe you keep them in your life in a certain way. Go ahead, Bobby Lee. What I want to say though too is that directly to the people out there, you know what I mean? What I want to say to the people out there is that I don't have a problem with Brendan Schaub right or Callan or these guys you know I mean I've known Brian Callan for over 20 years you know I mean we're from the same show I mean he was on Mad TV before me but we're a part of that family right so it's like I've been to Brian's house you know I mean I've hung out with those guys many, many times.

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Because in comedy, obviously, you know that there are people that are not like you. Like you and I, I think are more similar in terms of like our sensibilities. You know what I mean? We're a little sensitive, no? Very. Yeah, very sensitive.

And we're little soft creatures, right? And there are other people that are more dominant, alpha-y, right? And so it's like I usually just absorb that shit. But I'm like, because of the shift that you're talking about, I just basically said, Hey, man, don't talk to me like that because I didn't do anything, right? that shit but i'm like because of the shift that you're talking about i just basically said hey man don't talk to me like that because i didn't do anything right and um we're done why can't i do that as a human being you can that's what i'm saying to another human being so that's all it happened but people online are like saying like it's a war or there's a there's a division there

is no division right i'm just a guy that says i don't want to be talked to in that way i didn't do anything right it was just out of left field it was just it was very traumatic and i don't need to take that yeah my producer kirsten is on the fucking she's got her finger on the pulse of everything podcasting and she was telling me all the stuff that was going on so i watched i watched your episodes and i've talked to other comedians about it as well and you've been pretty open and honest about everything out there yeah so i don't blame you one bit and i saw brendan ed we were at a wedding together and i um you know he was

getting coffee and i walked up to him. I go, what'd you get? Oh, he goes, I got an ice. What are you going to get? You know what I mean? I go, I'm going to get a double espresso. You know what I mean? Not that him and I are ever going to get back to the place, but it's like I feel like there's, you know. Well, that was like a work function.

You were professional. Yeah, I'm trying to figure it out. You know what I mean? I'm trying to figure it out. Boundaries are necessary. I'm not allowing that anymore. Yeah, good. trying to figure it out. You know what I mean? I'm trying to figure it out, but... Boundaries are necessary. I'm not allowing that anymore. I don't want to allow it. But that's all it is. You know what I mean? It was like... I never had a problem with those guys.

I love those guys. In fact, one of my most viral things when it comes to podcasting is on Fighter Than Kid. It's like still out there. You know what I mean? It's a very funny bit. And, you know, we worked well together at one point. It just got out of hand, you know? And I don't know, man.

I wish it never happened. And did that affect my relationship with, you know, it did. I mean, a lot of that stuff affected it. It kind of put more fuel on something that, it did. I mean, a lot of that stuff affected it. It kind of put more fuel on something that, you know what I mean, that didn't need more fuel, you know. Right, that was already having problems. Yeah. And also, you know, I don't know if, I think maybe a year from now,

maybe, I don't know. I mean, maybe I'll realize that Kalilah's the one for me and we'll get back. I don't know. Who knows what'll happen. Sounds that Kalilah's the one for me and we'll get back. I don't know. Who knows what'll happen. Sounds like she's still going to be right next to you on the bed. Yeah, and we sleep great and we communicate and there's a lot of crying and a lot of growing up that we're doing. And it's really, it's tough.

But like I said, man, I don't know what's going to happen. I know. Also, that's another thing. It's like, I don't give a shit. I'm not, you know, I don't want to live in the results of anything. You know, it's like, I'm not a fortune teller. You know, I can't foresee I could die in a year. I don't know what's going to happen. Right? But it's like, the most important thing is obviously the moment and the here and now. And I just need to live in this space, you know, because for my whole life, I've never lived here. I've never lived in the moment. Everything was like, what is it, you know, how come this guy got that? And how can I get that and what if this happens

and that it's just like not living you know i mean you're reacting to things that didn't happen right you're reacting to things that happened in the past right and it's like it's no way to live and i can't do that that's what the emdr therapy did that's what i'm doing. Yeah, that worked. You had trauma? Yeah. So it's so funny because- I do it too. Dr. Drew recommended it. I started talking to him about it. And he's like, have you ever done it? And I said, no.

He goes, you would know if you have. It's not talk therapy. So I went and I had been fine as far as anxiety and things. So I thought. And then my daughter almost got hit by a car and man, did I come unhinged. I got scared to fly. I got scared of heights, just fear, fear, fear. And I couldn't shake it. The flights, you know, every bump. And I used to fucking love taking off on the runway. I felt like a fucking rock star. And I knew I needed to beat it because

we fly fucking everywhere so i went to emdr and i started working on that i mean i sleep on flights now yeah it works yeah and it worked pretty quickly your daughter almost getting run over was the traumatic event that was the fucking thing that was made that i was laughing like uh like my trauma just been laying in a hammock like oh there's my there's my call yeah and here it comes you know and it had been there all these years it just wasn't triggered by anything and that fear triggered it and man did it show up in ways that i had never experienced before yeah there's a lot of incidences that happened to me as a kid that i've worked on with the mdr and it just it's i'm not you may have a fully processed at all but's like – Are there any you're comfortable talking about? Oh, yeah.

I mean, the main one that I processed is my brother and I used to – I mean, this is not funny. It's not funny. This is a comedy podcast, right? This is not funny at all. You're doing just fine. It's not funny at all, though, man. All right.

Anyway, so my brother and I, we lived in Minnesota, right? And Edina, Minnesota. And Dover Drive, that street we lived on. And my brother and I shared a room and I don't know

how old I was, maybe eight or nine. My brother was six. And I distinctly remember two, three in the morning being awoken to my mom being in my room. She turned the lights on and she opened her mouth and her mouth was bleeding. Her tooth was missing, right? And then she was saying in Korean, help me, my dad's coming in, right? Because my dad had punched her in the face, right? And then I remember my brother and I and my mom barricading the door. Holy shit. Yeah, because my dad was coming in.

And I, he was drunk, you know, saying all kinds of say, and I just remember the fear of that. Right. And, um, he opens the door, we get, I mean, you know, he got in and I don't remember what happened afterwards. Right. But I just remember distinctly doing that. You know what I mean? You can still see your mom with that tooth knocked out. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Instinctively doing that. You know what I mean? You can still see your mom with that tooth knocked out. Oh, yeah, yeah. And she was just in town because she did the Bad Friends Live with Andrew, right? And the tooth that's missing, she has an artificial tooth there. Really? But it's like it's stained a little bit, right?

So it always reminds me of it. You know what I mean? But I've done EMDR on that incident, right? And there's a lot of instances like that in my childhood, right? And what that does is like, you know, now as an adult, you know, you walk into every room. I don't walk into a restaurant or a comedy club like everyone else. You know, I walk in and I look at everything first. I look at the permit where it's safe.

You mean where the exits are? Fire exits. Right, you have a fire exit, all that stuff, right? And I just look at life in a different kind of way and in a cautious way. And that all stems from how I was raised and the experiences that I have. And I don't want to live like that either, right?

So I've done, there's a lot of, and my mom used to be very violent to me too. So there's some instances with that, but it's like um it's funny my therapist says that like um if i didn't find comedy i would be one of those guys you know i mean that you know i could have been you know i mean a transient kind of a guy you know i mean um if i didn't get sober early on in my life and i got sober when I was 17. There's a lot of choices that I made. The two things was getting sober and also starting to do standup at 23 that saved me.

You know what I mean? Because I was able to find something that I used as a defense mechanism, which is comedy and humor. And because I was sober too, that I could walk through fear, you know what I mean? A little easier because back then, or it's still in AA, you know, you have this higher power thing.

So I would, you know, the third step is to turn it over, right? So it's like- What's that mean? Turn it over to God. So let God, you know, have basically faith. Jesus that mean turn it over to god so let god you know have basically faith jesus take the wheel yeah but not jesus you know yeah yeah so it would be like when i was 23 when i 23 and i started doing stand-up i was so scared but i would do that i go i'm just gonna turn it over and then i'm going to um just dive in you you know what I mean? Because, you know, I want a big life.

I've always wanted a big life. And as a kid living in the circumstances as I did, you know, I always dreamed of something different and better for myself, you know? And so luckily I found comedy. I mean, luckily, if I lived in Korea, dude, I'd be a fucking, I'd be carrying rice. I mean, I mean luckily if I lived in Korea dude I'd be a fucking I'd be carrying rice I mean

I mean all get back and forth from between funniest rice carrier I'm just a funny I'm making everyone laugh right I put the rice in my nose

or I would snort rice I would do things you know what I'm saying right right I would do tricks you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah but you're like

I you know I would be having some ridiculous job like that, right? But like, so luckily, you know, in America, you know what I mean? There are other options. Thank God for podcasting. Like, this is a thing. Changed my life. It changed my life too, you know?

So it's like, what I love about this, podcasting, and I love, this is what I love about this podcasting, and this is what I love about it, is back in the 90s, you'd come to LA. When did you move to LA? The second time, 97. Right. So when you come here, so back then with 97, were you doing stand-up then? No, I did improv first and then stand-up after. Right. then no i did improv first and then stand up after right but when you came here you're like all right do you there was like a blueprint on how to make it i mean i had a loose direction i

just knew i needed to get on stage right and then i would figure it out from there like i never once considered agent manager none of that oh really not in the very beginning the first thing was like let me find places that was an important thing that you needed. So a lot of comics would hang out and they'd be like, who's your agent? Are you Sag? You know what I mean? And all those things. Sag was a thing.

I got my Sag card. And then you would contemplate, how do I get a Sag card? You know what I mean? And then they would go, you have to take acting classes. So you'd be in a Meisner technique class. You know what I mean? Spend all your money on doing repetitions like doing repetitions or whatever, right? Because there was a blueprint.

And then there was gatekeepers. Like if these casting directors didn't like you, you're fucked. Or if these agents didn't like you, you're fucked, right? Or if this network said, you're funny, but we like these 10 people. Right. So those were it. And if they didn't like you you're shit out of luck right but what the internet did was it you bypassed that it did not only did it do that it also proved us right i knew i'm not saying i'm funnier than anyone else

but i'm saying i know i'm funny enough to make a living at this and be successful at it and you're not giving me a chance and these fucking people and these things let us go right over that fucking wall or under it or around it or through it yeah and prove ourselves not only right it's a big fuck you back to everybody else like look you're just holding us back for nothing why because i look like an ex boyfriend you don't like you know what i mean mean? It's that dumb sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that fucking dumb. Yeah, yeah. There is no structure to this. There's no like do this for four years, you do this.

Another two years, you're this. And then you're a doctor, a lawyer, and you're a judge. None of that. Yeah. None of that. Yeah. So Saturday night I did a Tiger Bailey live. We were at the Ace Theater in downtown.

Sold it out. 1,600 seats. We did at the Ace Theater in downtown. Sold it out. 1,600 seats. We did a game show on stage. It was all Tiger Belly fans. You know what I mean? We did a Q&A for VIPs earlier. I got really emotional. People got really emotional. They were talking

about why they love our podcast and this and that. Anyway, during the show, you know, packed, it was, it killed,

I mean, it was like people stand, it was insane, right? But my agent showed up, my agents, not Asians, Asians,

the Asians showed up too. Asians, Asians were there too, right? But like my agent showed up and they're, you know, they're wearing their suits and they're in the back

and they're like looking around and they're mean and they're and eight years ago i called them and i said can you help me with this podcast they go well now we we do you know i mean you do that on your own right and you know i feel bad because you know they don't get a cut of anything you know i mean right and they, you know, they don't get a cut of anything. You know what I mean? Right. And they're, you know, I think, I don't know. We're trying to figure it out.

Right. There ain't no figuring it out. No, we are. I am trying to figure it out. Don't you figure it out. No, I'm trying to figure it out to see what they can do. Because I do love them. Just let me finish. Let me finish what I'm saying.

I'm silent. All right. Let me finish what I'm saying. Because. It's my alpha eyes. Matt and I, Matt, Matt, my agent, right? He's been my agent since the 90s, right? So it's like, there is a relationship there.

But, you know, a long time ago when I asked for help, you know, they go, we do bigger things, podcasts, right? At the time they were like, what are your numbers? Like, we had just started. So I go, a hundred downloads. I don't know. You know what I mean? 50 downloads, right? Like, no, no, no, no, right? At the time, they were like, what are your numbers? We had just started, so I go, 100 downloads? I don't know. You know what I mean? 50 downloads, right? Like, no, no, no, right? So they didn't help, and they go, you just do that on your own. So I did, right? And now, you know, it's a thing, right? And now they'll want a piece of it, right? So it was just kind of a cool,

it was kind of not a fuck you, but it was more of a this is what I did. This is what you could have helped with, right? And you didn't. So now if you want something, go get you the mega deal. Go do that and get a cut off of that. That's what I said. Take this fucking spaceship that I just took out to Pluto and take us to another fucking universe, motherfucker. Right.

And then you can have it. That's what I. I had an agent tell me the same thing. What? He laughed and said, come back when you're making real money. And I said, that's exactly when I'm not coming back. I know. That's exactly what I said to him.

I asked the same. I asked my manager. I'm like, look, man, if you can help me between this was between the crab feast and the honeydew. Yeah. If you can help me man we can do this and he just wasn't he couldn't and i'm like well you could i got it then i gotta do this right yeah then i gotta do this on my own i know and i wouldn't have it any other fucking way yeah i know i mean but don't you think that it would have been nice to get help yeah yeah yeah of course it would but in the in the

in hindsight i'm glad i did it yeah i've learned so much yeah more through doing all of this not just about podcasting stuff but we've had producers do shady shit and turnover you learn a lot about people you know yeah we've got i just want to say i do love my agency i'm not saying you don't thank you i'm with them you don't even need to say that i want her though go ahead yeah i i'm i love them you said nothing wrong yeah no i do said i came to them i know but i'm just saying that's huge and now they want it so now they got to do something with it yeah that's all i so what we said was it's funny because we went there and it's a huge building. They have Steven Spielberg and all these huge names, Radiohead

or whatever. So that's what they represent. And we're in this beautiful conference room. And it was flattering for them to go, we want to help. And it's cool, but you can't help but think, wow. Where were you when I asked? I mean, you know what I mean, wow. You know what I mean? Where were you when I asked you?

I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do love them. And I don't, you know, thank you for everything. You know what I mean? It's weird, you know? Yeah, I've been watching you put your foot in your mouth lately. I saw the Emily shit on the Comedy Store podcast.

Oh, my God. Kill me, dude. Because I didn't see that first. I saw your apology first in person. You were like, oh my God, I saw that and then I saw the clip and I started dying laughing. I just want to say, the reason why I said that Emily books for me. I know and I love her.

I love her. Honestly, I love her and I have to say this, okay? She knows you do, by the way. Deeply. And not only that, is that the reason why I did that, right? So let's say for your audience, I was on the Comedy Store podcast and I lied.

And I basically said, I don't get spots either that much. You know what I mean? I think they only give me spots out of loyalty is what I said, right? And then I looked in through the window and emily was in the room right and i go i'm kidding right but the reason why i said in the first place is so that johnny could feel better because he's not getting yeah he's not getting spots so i just wanted him to feel better and that's what i did

to soothe him i honestly that's what it was I mean? Because at the end of the day, I do get spots every time I call in. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're there all the time. So then I felt like a weasel. I get more spots than anyone else. So I felt like a fucking weasel. I felt like a weasel. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. But I wanted to say to Emily, you know what I mean?

I'll do anything, you know? That's it. Yeah, I apologize. I apologize, you know that's what you know that's it yeah i apologize you know i'm a fucking weasel am i a weasel no all right so what's up i want to know what's next for you then you're just going to take some time how to let me ask you this forget this how do you heal how do you move on when the person's literally under your roof in the bed next to you how do you move when you heal there's no healing there's no healing no because you said you were heartbroken you said those things we're both heartbroken about it so how do you unbreak your heart but

over there was that sony braxton yeah but what soothes what's what soothes us is that we have a deep she's the love of my life i believe that and i and i doesn't mean it needs to be intimate i know i know i love her more than i can't she's like i'll tell you how i feel about her i feel about her like i feel about my brother you know i mean in terms of like like i'm gonna to know this person. If she ever needed anything, you know what I mean? I would give her a lung, right? Like that's how I feel about her. She's my best friend.

And I also love our relationship on our podcast. And we work so well together. It's such a good yin and yang. It is. And it's interesting that, yin and yang it is and it's interesting that you know i'm just sitting here thinking about it now and you guys as a couple your child has been tiger belly yeah you have built that from like you said 50 fucking downloads everybody starts at one download we all started at one yeah and you've built that together and look at it now yeah fucking thriving it's thriving yeah

yeah so to to have to pivot in your relationship from this um romantic boyfriend girlfriend couple and to this professional couple and still maintain i think it's pretty impressive i know you're you're still newly into it but well no i mean because if you look at i think the re i think you look at like i don't know what chris pratt and Anna Faris' relationship is, but it doesn't seem like. They're divorced. I know. I know they're divorced. They're both remarried.

But I feel like there's some, maybe some hostility or ugliness in that relationship. Right? Right. And I don't ever want to be like that with Kalilah. Right? And I don't ever want to be like that with Kalilah, right? So I look at other Hollywood or like two people – because Kalilah and I, we're not in a regular relationship. Our relationship is out in the public. We're in the public eye, right? And it puts a different dynamic on the relationship.

You know what I mean? And it puts a different dynamic on the relationship. You know what I mean? And so it's like, because we're in the public eye, and I don't want to get resentful. I don't want the relationship to sour and have these deep resentments and this and that. So we're mindfully doing it in a healthy way so that we can still have our love, right?

And still have a business and still continue in that way. You know what I mean? And I think we're doing it. We talk every night about how we feel and what's going on. And there's a lot of sadness, like I said. Well, that's why I was asking about healing. You said there were tears and things like that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I mean, we're in the process of it. I mean, I don't know. Have you ever done that? Have you ever broken up with someone that you lived with and then stayed living with them? Yeah, but I've never been in a relationship like this before. Nothing like this.

I mean, every relationship I've ever had was two years. And I was out like clockwork, like to the day almost. That's what you said, two years. Yeah, yeah. And this has been a completely different thing. Although all my relationships with previous girlfriends have been really great and I love them all. You know what I mean? But the only one that I really kind of talk to that's around is Sarah Hyland. You know what I mean Kalilah, you know, and, you know, yeah, I, but, you know, Sarah and I didn't see each other after our relationship for years. And then it's, she got married to somebody, Jen Rosenstein, who's a beautiful, talented woman. And, you know,

now they're a part of our family, you know, but I don't want to do that with Klyla. I want to keep going and I want to, you know, I want to see her every day and I want to, we also have seven animals, bro. Damn. A lot of animals. Yeah. Yeah.

We have seven animals that we got during our relationship, you know, and how do you split them apart? Right. It's like having children. I love every single one of them. You know what I mean? Deeply. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So it's a hard thing, man. But we're figuring it out. Is that an hour? Yeah, bro. That went good, huh? Great. Did you like it?

I loved it. I wanted to say thank you very much for coming on and talking about that. Of course, man. I know it's not easy. It's fresh and all. But before I get you out of here, I want to ask you now, after what we've talked about, going back to what you know about yourself and everything you've said, what advice would you give your 16-year-old self? There's a lot, man. My 16-year-old self, I would say, all those things that you think are going to fix you,

you know what I mean? These goals and aspirations and all these things that if only this happens or this, I promise you, number one, you will get those things. And number two, you won't feel any different, right? So get happy now, you know, because it's, and I used to never believe that. Even as a kid, you would hear because it's, and I used to never believe that. I mean, even as a kid, you would hear people would say, you know, you know, it, nothing, money will aren't all these,

it won't fix you. And you would go, fuck no, it will. You trust me. I'm so stressed out right now. You have no idea. I don't know how I'm going to eat. Yeah. And those things do alleviate, right. But all these other issues, and I'm telling you right now there is really no difference in terms how i feel you know i mean so it's like i have to do it now you know what i mean and also at 16 i would say like you're gonna get pussy you'll get it you'll get it you know because i was like hate it not dms but you're getting right no will. You'll see a vagina one day, right? You know, I would, because if I told my 16-year-old son, he would cry.

Because at 16, I thought, because in high school, no one looked at me. I was like a, you know, a Korean kid in an all-white school. And not that they were racist or anything like that, but I just was not viewed. That didn't make you exotic? No, no, no.

Because if I was like, if I look like BTS, you know what I mean? A tall, kind of a good looking, maybe, right? But I was like small too, you know what I mean? And kind of like wire, you know, the wiry and eccentric, I guess, you know what I mean? And it's like, yeah, no, I thought I was going to be, you know what I mean and it's like yeah no I thought I was going to be you know what I mean an insult or whatever right but I want to look at my 16 year old and say one day you'll see very good ones

nice ones you know what I mean really good you'll love it I love you too bud promote whatever you like again so bad friends tiger belly and that's pretty much it alright well thank you for coming on and thank you guys as well as always

ryan sickler.com ryan sickler on all social media we'll talk to y'all next week Thank you.