The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Brad Williams

Episode Date: June 17, 2019

Dewers! My #HoneyDew this week is Brad Williams! Brad was born with achondroplasia dwarfism. He shares stories about growing up, losing his virginity, driving, and orgies at dwarf conventions - yeah, you read that right. He also talks about his dad’s battle with skin cancer. It’s a must listen! Subscribe, download & review! Use sunscreen and get those moles checked! theHoneyDewpodcast.com

You're listening to The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. I'm Ryan Sickler. We're doing it over here at your mom's house. You can find me on all social media at Ryan Sickler. My website's ryansickler.com. Everything you need to find is there. I want to tell you about some road dates this week, June 13th and 14th and 15th. I'm out there with your boy T-Nuts on the road. Richmond, Virginia on the 13th. Hanover, Maryland on the 14th.

Atlantic City on the 15th. A couple weeks later, Teddy Loons is back out on the road taking me with him. Tulsa, Wichita, and Kansas City the 27th to the 29th. August 1st through 3rd, I'm in Minnesota. And September 14th, I'm doing a Baltimore show. And as I say every week, I want to thank every single one of you for the messages, the positive comments, the feedback, the emails, all of it. I really appreciate it. Please make sure you're the messages the positive comments the feedback the emails all of it i really appreciate it please make sure you're subscribed to the show download it review it and

make sure you're subscribed to your mom's house youtube channel all right you can get full video of the honeydew every tuesday audio comes up on mondays and if you're new to the show website is the honeydewopodcast.com. Everything's there, all the social media icons, how to follow. You can go subscribe to YouTube right there. It's all there. If you're new to the show, what we do here is we laugh in the face of adversity. We're looking for a little bit of that light in the darkness.

I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. Today, I'm very excited to introduce my guest, first time on The Honeydew. Please welcome Brad Williams. Hey, what's up, buddy? My man. How are you doing, brother? This podcast today is sponsored by Fila. Fila for all your sweatshirt needs.

Fila, man. First of all, thank you so much for being here. Yeah. I was excited to see you the other night, and I've been wanting you to come on. And before we get into anything, please feel free to promote whatever you'd like all right let's plug it uh i've got my own podcast called the about last night podcast that i i do with adam ray you've been on it a couple times actually and uh we're we're still trying to find out if ryan sickler ever runs out of stories so far, negative. We have not found the bottom of that barrel yet. And then, of course, on social media,

on Twitter, at FunnyBrad, on Instagram, at BradWilliamsComic. All the tour dates are at BradWilliamsComedy.com. But as long as we're talking about where we're going to be, June 21st through the 23rd, I'm going to be... No, June 21st through the 22rd i'm gonna be no june 21st to the 22nd i'm in alabama birmingham nothing controversial going on in alabama so people just want to come out and laugh because

it's a boring time over there no one's been talking about alabama nothing in the news i've seen a thing in the news so i'll be at the stardome comedy club in birmingham alabama june 21st to the 22nd. June 23rd, Nashville, Tennessee, Zany's Comedy Club. And then Philadelphia, I'll be coming to you June 27th through the 29th at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia.

Those are some dates, but all dates bradwilliamscomedy.com. Cool. That's the plugs. Go see Brad live. Go see Brad live. That's fun. I really appreciate you coming on and i you know i say to every guest throw me some stories and you did you threw me something that we're definitely going to get into sure but um what i'd like to talk about because i just have so many questions for you yeah about growing up the way you grew up so will you please jewish jewish um you know well to do a little bit.

No, I'm not even Jewish. I don't know why I said that. You're not? No. I just wishful thinking. I know. It's like, ah, I need my jokes to be better, more well written. I wish I was Jewish.

Talk to us about what it was like growing up. Yeah. us about what it was like growing up yeah uh well it's weird because uh if you look at just the stats of my life growing up you wouldn't think i'd be a comedian because everyone always says oh comedians have to come from some kind of pain or torment or whatever the hell like that i i didn't uh i did not grow up poor uh did not grow up with separate families uh parents love each other still together to this day uh grew up in orange county california dad lawyer mom housewife so on the surface yeah it's all good it's all uh be a beaver cleaver dad didn't have a drinking problem no one hit anybody no drug abuse we had dinner every night. Kind of disgusting, really. Yeah, it is. It sounds wonderful.

I'm getting misty-eyed over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God, that's so good. Oh, you had Sega Genesis? Oh, God. It's weird because I talk to people that grew up with slightly different circumstances, and I go, how did you survive? And they go, I don't know how you survived

with everyone just being happy all the time. Really just my, the fact that I'm born with a chondroplastic dwarfism, that's sort of the weirdest thing in my family. Say that again, what is it called? A chondroplastic dwarfism. I have a chondroplasia. There's over 100 different types of dwarfism.

I'm the most common type, and that is characterized by short limbs, average-sized torso, big-ass head, collapsed nose bridge, huge cock, massive dragon on the floor. You're like, oh, man, this is a fox with a long tail. There's all these tracks in the snow no no just a dwarf with a dick my friend it's a dwarf with a dick that's me uh so yeah that is the kind of dwarfism i have um i'm four foot four right now uh i was

four foot four at like age uh 10 11 or whatever and that was it you know that was it so going back to to birth sure do they know before you're born that you have this is this something they can see prenatal or is this something that well funny story uh it is you can see you can tell that you're gonna have a dwarf child uh but my uh my family doctor did not tell my parents oh get ready for this because he is a strict catholic and thought that if he told mom and dad that they'd be like oh well we don't want that so you know right vacuum that baby out of there uh by the way speaking of vacuum which you should be allowed to do alabama i'll be in alabama at the start of the comedy club in birmingham speaking of vacuuming babies what's wrong with you alabama what if that was what if that was just your segues for all your gigs promo where you're talking about so my buddy terry was convicted of a hate crime speaking of hate

crimes baltimore i'm going to you doing six shows oh god so yeah yeah the doctor didn't tell my parents how at what how long in did he finally tell them uh with like a month to go no way yeah yeah yeah he's like oh oh, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he wanted to make sure that they- And how were they when they heard the news? They were fine. But they weren't angry that he didn't share it sooner?

No, they weren't angry. In fact, my dad immediately started going to, because this is before the internet, so he started going to these uh lpa meetings lpa stands for little people of america and it's where uh it's it's an organization to help little people you know we get some camaraderie with it there's events there's social aspects to it a lot of husbands and wives have met via lpa a lot of orgies have happened via lpa really i'll get into that a little bit please so lpa is a great organization so your dad shows up like the fuck are you doing here like hang on

and my dad would go to these meetings and um he told he told me the story where he he went to two meetings and he just heard a lot of little people bitch and complain about how hard their lives are and how annoying it is and then he stood up at the second meeting went hey my name's my name's pete uh i don't i'm i'm having a dwarf child i just found out i'm having a dwarf kid um and all i've heard from you guys is how much it sucks uh is there anything good about it? Is there anything good? I look forward to anything.

And one of the little people there going to... Can I ask you real quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you your parents' first child at this point? Second. Okay. Yeah, and they have two kids. I have my older sister.

And then that's it. How far apart are you? 15 months. So we're pretty close to Irish twins. So it's like... You are. So right of the way here you come yeah okay so he's still a new dad at this point yeah yeah yeah he's still being a new dad to my sister so uh there was one dwarf who stood up in that meeting and said well the one good thing about being a little person is that nobody forgets you like once they meet you they they know you and you make an impression on people

and my dad really took that to heart and he told me that throughout my entire life like hey you're like once they meet you, they know you and you make an impression on people. And my dad really took that to heart and he told me that throughout my entire life. Like, hey, you're not going to be forgotten. So make sure it's a good impression and use that to your advantage. That's a great point. Yeah. Yeah.

You can come across as that asshole. Yeah. And then you come back and you're like, they're not going to remember that. No, they're totally going to remember that. Oh, they remember you're a... Oh, no.

They're going to forget that the midget shit in the fish tank. No, they're totally going to remember that. Oh, they remember your ass. They're going to forget that the midget shit in the fish tank? No. They're going to remember that the midget shit in the fish tank. They're definitely going to remember that the midget shit in the fish tank. Which sounds like an old colloquial. It sounds like an old phrase

that no one says anymore. Things are not good right now. The midget shit in the fish tank. The midget shit in the fish tank. Midget fish shit in the fish tank today. Did you see the game the other night? Man, the Orioles really shit. They were like the midget fish tank. That closer, man.

That closer. So, yeah, that was the introduction my parents had to LPA and little people in general. And so this is not hereditary? It is. Or it is. But it's a recessive gene. We don't know where it came from in terms of...

No one else in your family that you know? Have you guys done a family tree thing? Oh, yeah. We've done all that. The only thing we haven't done is the paternity test. So who knows? Just keep away for now. Who knows?

Maybe my dad was on a business trip and Ringling Brothers, Bartman Bailey came through town. Maybe mom had some fun. I don't know. But my dad's my dad, so there we go. So, yeah, it was something that was obviously new to them, and they tried to find out the most about it, which I really appreciate in hindsight

because I've seen a lot of average-sized parents have dwarf children and then have no knowledge about it and then just try to parent by either hiding the kid and being like, no, you can't do anything because you're disabled or you're sensitive, or just being like, no, you can do anything but not taking in any consideration at all like no no no do those weights you're fine you know or whatever play football play football maybe pole volleyball yeah yeah play football you're fine no my parents were very realistic

with my with their expectations of what i can and can't do and uh that that was really good that that that helped growing up so did they try to treat you in a way where you weren't i i know what you're saying there's let's be obvious about things like you're saying sure in a way where you weren't like were you putting sports right away were you playing yeah you know doing everything like what were you doing oh uh i was in all the clubs and everything like that play uh play baseball basketball uh hockey uh my my dad tells this story about when i started playing t-ball and uh my aunt and uncle came to watch one of my games and uh i ran out to him and this is how they didn't make dwarfism like a huge deal because i ran out to my aunt and uncle and I'm like, hey, Aunt Nate, Uncle Steve, thanks for coming to watch my game.

I'm going to be playing out there. You can tell it's me because I'm number three. And my aunt and uncle and several adults around them apparently just burst out laughing because they're like, I think we'll be able to spot you. Or not. Or not. Or not. Hey, we're missing somebody in left field. No, Brad's out there.

Hey, when you see the grass rustling in left field, that's me running around trying to make a play. The ball just comes shooting out of the grass like that. That's not Ferngully launching the ball back. That's Brad. That's Brad throwing that back in. Will you shoot, Brad? I can't even see it.

He's down there. I can't even see it. Well, one of the best parts that I look back on, and I kind of realize what was happening, is I was on several different sport teams where they, at the end of the year year you give kind of awards to all the kids and be like hey you know like if it's baseball you had the best arm or you were you know the hardest hitter uh charlie hustle you know stuff like that i got the same award every

year most lionheart i was gonna say most difficult strike zone i got the same award every year just like lionheart oh man he tries they're sitting home trying to figure out what they could come up with he tries so hard oh man i mean you know terry he hits he hits the ball but brad brad really tries so yeah oh my god that was me for all of my sports lionheart was. Was there ever a moment where, and I'm sure you're a comedian, so I know my answer here, but what sort of moments have you used it to make, you know, to your advantage and make people uncomfortable or, like, lay into it? All the time.

Yeah. Well, here's the thing is that, thank God my parents, like, yes, they encouraged me to try everything and do and do things but there was always the reality of the situation of yes you are a little person don't think you're not you know and and so they temper expectations they weren't just you can be whatever you want no because i want to be a football player my dad's like that's not gonna work he wasn't that guy so you can do anything no there's obviously things i cannot do you could place hold though yeah i could place

hold like a motherfucker right now too yeah i could i i could place hold standing up two hands i got it i. I got that shit, man. We're calling a specialist. That's what we call him. You know, if you stab at the brown, we got the option to pass it. He holds it with two hands. So let's keep that under our hat. He does that.

So, yeah. But also one thing that my dad did, which was really great, is he kind of inadvertently trained me how to be a comedian because my dad would make fun of me as a kid with the knowledge of, I'm prepping you because when you get to school, all the kids are going to make fun of you, so I don't want you to be shocked by this. So he would make fun of me and then be like, all right,

now I just made fun of you, so hit me back with something. So we would have these games where, like, you'd be making fun of me. I'd hit him back with insults. And it was fun for me. So by the time I got to school, you go to kindergarten, and the kindergartners who don't know what a little person is, they come up and start asking weird questions or making fun of you. It's a game to me.

It's this game I've already played. Well, I'm glad because kids are brutally honest they don't know they don't they really want to ask questions and they're genuinely like well that's different to me so i gotta talk about that and ask about that and that's one thing you realize as i got older is many kids aren't doing it to be mean they're doing it because they they don't know and they don't have the social constructs yet to be like, oh, maybe don't ask the person about their discoloration of skin. Or, you know, like my dad tells a story about my sister where one time they were in the supermarket. And this is back in the days of pagers and beepers. And this woman was very overweight, and her beeper started going off.

And my sister, who was maybe like four or five, goes, Dad, I think she's backing up. And the woman just turns around like, and my dad's like, Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. She says that to every person. That's our go-to every every person that's our go-to yeah that's our go-to she's back she's backing up yeah yeah yeah so uh so there there there was always that of of i understood the kids were just kind of they're just being curious they don't know and i liken it to like as an, we're aware of things now,

but if someone walked up to you who had something that you have literally never seen before, you would probably have some questions for them. Someone had a third arm coming out of their head and was, like, using it. You'd be like, all right, I got. Can I ask you about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up with the arm? The one that's shuffling peanuts in its hand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what you're talking about. It's like, no, the arm. And then kids knew real fast because the kids that did make fun of me, I would have jokes to come back at them with that literally my dad and I would work together on writing.

So we would have those comebacks just fucking chambered so you weren't gonna throw me off so like kids knew real quick oh wait don't make fun of brad because then he'll make me cry yeah be friends with brad he's good you know so uh yeah i i tell people dwarfism never really affected me in terms of a negative way or where I really saw it as a negative until I got to high school. And then I was just friend zone like a motherfucker. Like, I was the friend zone king. Like, oh, man.

That's when I first realized, like, oh, if I want to get laid, I got to make a lot of money. Like, I got to work hard and I've got to make a lot of money. I've got to work hard, and I've got to find this whatever it is I'm going to do and be successful at it. We'll come back to this. Then I'll be good. But you've also told me before on Crab Feast episodes that you were bucket list for some girls, too. Yeah. We'll come back to that. Let's go back to friend zone.

That's post-20s. Post-20s, yes. So you're in, you go elementary, middle, and mostly you're not being bullied or teased because already you've developed the thick skin and you're fighting back. Yeah. You're like, let's not go fuck with Brad. I was all right. You know, there was, yeah, there was one time when a new kid, like, was in third grade.

Statue of limitations. I've forgiven him. Like, uh, this is in third grade. It's a statute of limitations. I've forgiven him. Uh, his name's, uh, Michael Cordero. And, uh, we were playing at recess and I threw a touchdown pass, like, as the bell was ringing. I chucked the touchdown pass.

So we won that game that day. And then he, uh, he didn't like that. So, uh, he, uh, uh, all, all the kids were going in and then he waited for the kids to go in, and he wanted to talk to me, and then he waited for the kids to leave, and then he just put a beating on me. He beat you up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Because, what, he felt embarrassed that you beat him or something?

Yeah, something like that. But then it became real clear to him that you don't do that and get away with it at this school. Like, all the teachers loved me principals loved me other kids loved me so like he was kind of shunned after that and you know suspended but uh for the most like and good and then and then when he got back he was very apologetic and his mom came to school with him to be like you apologize for that so like it all it all worked out i think he's doing fine so it's fine but. But, yeah, that was the only time, really.

But for the most part, it was pretty great. It was pretty great growing up. Like I said, great family. You get to high school, and are you, like, hanging out with the dudes on the teams and stuff like that? Yeah. You probably know a lot of people from the middle school that are going there, too, so you already have friends.

Oh, no. But the new crop of girls. Yeah, high school was fun because i was where'd you go uh sunny hills high school in fullerton it's the name that sounds like a retirement home sunny hills uh and then uh we we were actually famous wait for your mascot uh they're called the lancers the sunny hill lance you got two fucking yeah it's there that is my name is that i know lancer we had one leganor it was a it's a night yeah yeah there you go yeah it's uh so we were famous for two things

one uh they made the news week list of like the best high schools in america sunniest hills and then two there was uh some murders that took place there. At your school? Yeah. What? This was before I got there, way before I got there. They're laughing at people dying. There were some murders. They made a movie about it.

It was like... It was a movie made about your high school murders? They were called the Honor Roll Murders. I think that's what they were called the the the honor roll murders i think i think that i think that's what they were they're called like the honor roll murders or the like it was it was affluent kids who were studying hard and something happened i i should look up the story but yeah i don't know you got google on that fucking thing maybe get up off your ass and open up a window laughing in there look up these deaths yeah um so yeah they were uh so that that that's what our high school was famous for uh yeah went there prior to you getting there though yeah yeah yeah now now they're famous for brad williams no

they're not there have they done anything to honor you no no no they don't care they they they've had more people go there. It's fine. I think Mark McGuire went to high school there. Cheater. Home run king, whatever. But yeah, so I got there, and then you start being interested in girls, and I realized real fast, like, oh, they don't want none of this. They don't want anything to do with that.

Oh, they don't want none of this. They don't want anything to do with that. So I would have to wait until the summer where I would go to the dwarf conventions. And there we go. Wait, you did? Oh, yeah. Where are they? They change every year.

When did you start going to those? Oh, when I was like seven, seven, eight years old, my family would bring me. So I would also understand that there would be other little people out there that i knew i wasn't alone gotcha and uh they did that and it was fantastic i got to know friends some of which i'm still friends with to this day oh that's great uh and was this sort of can i ask you some questions yeah fire away was this just like a a meeting or you go for a weekend or what is you go for a week a week yeah full week yeah it really is and you were a kid when you started going like middle school and they're all around the u.s yeah uh the big one is every summer there's like the national convention i believe this year it's in san francisco uh but

yeah we always did our family vacation around the dwarf that's fucking awesome yeah so we'd go and then we'd go see all the things in the city. But then there's regional conventions every few months that are just like the California little people and they're just for a weekend, not the full week. But you go for the week and there's workshops, there's

clothing exchanges, doctor's visits, sporting events. Oh wow. Sporting events are hilarious. I would love to see that. Hilarious. We're from the local chapel down in Fullerton, man. We got a squad.

Hilarious. What sports are they playing? Okay. Well, first of all, the official sport of the little people, it is it? It's bocce ball. We are great. I'm sorry. We are great at bocce ball. Well, own your ass in bocce ball.

I got to think you'd be good at mini golf. Yeah, they don't do mini golf. They do golf. Are you good at bocce? I am good at bocce. Are you? I love bocce. It's a great backyard game.

I always looked at it as an old man's game, but now I see it as a little person's game. It really is. By the way, you're also the one that educated me, and I was humiliated and embarrassed when you told me because I was probably in my late 30s, early 40s. Yeah. I've always thought the low urinal was for kids. Yeah.

And you were like, Ryan, you didn't say it's also for kids. You're like, that's my fucking toilet. That's my bitch. All right. I was like, oh. you didn't say it's also for, you're like, that's my fucking toilet. That's my bitch. I was like, oh. Not for kids. That's mine. You made figgets for little kids. Nah, that's mine.

Back to bocce. That's the official sport? Yeah, but there's all sorts of sports. They do track and field. They do basketball. They do soccer. Like, they do, oh, and then also a lot of dwarves are good at powerlifting. We're really good at power lift

and that's how i made a lot of friends in high school that's how i made friends you power lifted in high school fuck yeah because like i was they're going clean and jerked i was mornings and 15 years old benching 215 were you really yeah holy shit and like and like the football players like the wide receivers are like what the fuck You had to get 225 to get on our fucking wall. You're only 10 pounds away. How old? So that's 15. 15 years. Yeah.

Southmore in high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Holy shit. So I was just like, and people would be like, well, his arms are small. I'm like, yeah, but the biceps. The strength in those little motherfuckers.

That big is my bicep, okay? Come on. I'm an all-state holder, motherfucker. Two hands. Perfected the technique. In shit so yeah uh there yeah that's how i made friends there but yeah so so you do sporting events and i'll i'll tell you this right now oh yeah and there's and there's a swimming too but there's there is nothing funnier than a dwarf track meet. I love that you're saying that. Nothing. Nothing better than that. Because dwarves have a certain way we run.

I didn't know this until the local news, OCN, Orange County News Network. We had a local track meet, and they went out and covered it. And it was like my first time being on TV. I was on the news, and I was running on the news and they showed me running and i then i knew like oh we look fucked up that's the first time you'd seen yeah like i didn't know that i look like i thought that was just the other dwarves that look like that look at these so no that's me too so we run, like your legs go in front of the other like that. Mine are just kicking out to the side. They're kicking out to the side like that.

I didn't think I did that. I definitely do. So yeah, so then when you get a meet and you got like eight lanes of dwarves, which sounds like a really cool whorehouse. Eight lanes of dwarves and when that started the pistol goes off holy shit you die laughing like you're doing a full lap all the way around yeah it took us three days to break it up in the yeah it was a man it was a marathon in the truest sense you do the 40 meter dash it wouldn't be a hundred you do a 40 it's not bad

you know uh so it was pretty great man and that that's where i met a lot of friends had a lot of social interaction and like i said like they dress up these conventions as like all these positive things with sports and workshops and doctors and stuff like that but really it's for boning it's just it's for boning that's what it's because it's you gotta understand something it's a bit of a mind fuck because the whole year you're the friend zone guy or the friend zone girl or the or the or the or the strange fetish in some cases, and then you go to these conventions, and you're hot. You are sexy.

You're like, like there would, I found out later, like years later, there were like groups of dwarf women that were like taking bets on who would take my virginity. Really? Yeah,

because I was like a stud then, because I'm pretty athletic uh so and i don't i don't have i've only had one dwarf related surgery on my uh on my ankle and it really didn't affect my mobility all that much so i'm i'm healthy all your life yeah yeah yeah so i'm healthy relatively good looking so uh yeah i was i was fucking i was fucking that girl the girls loved me back so i'm gonna ask you questions how old were you when you lost your virginity 20 now you've heard this story before it's been a while on a previous podcast but uh yeah i lost my virginity at age 20 because i was uh i was going through uh you know i was i was friend zone and then uh you're

in college? Yeah. I had this dwarf girlfriend who was very religious. We had been dating for two years. She finally was like, she was living in San Francisco. She's like, obviously, you and I are something real. I'm ready. I was like, fuck yes. Here we go.

The next weekend, I was like, I'm in San Francisco. And she told me. She's like, all right, my parents are going away for the weekend. So I got the house to myself. And did you meet at a convention originally? Yeah, we met at a convention originally. So you had known her for a little bit. Yeah, I'd known her for a few years. And then we decided to start dating.

known her for a little bit yeah i've known her for a few years and then we decided to start dating and uh so i i go up there and uh so we're we're gonna do the thing we got the net all picked out and then as the music's playing as the fucking key sweat is listen that's good we all had our fuck tapes in high school you made a fuck tape he's what everybody made a fuck tape all right so like you got that going and she goes hold on she grabs my hand she goes i need you to pray and i was like wait what i've been praying for goddamn year well now we gotta pray for real so uh she made me naked pray hold on for real yeah because we i did not remember this though you're kissing things are getting going so it's not before you start foreplay it's before you actually have sex. Yes. Foreplay has happened. I'm ready. Okay? And then I'm ready to do the things you guys, I need you to pray.

And I'm like, whoa, like I got the erection. Praying is done. Yeah. And my prayers are answered. Thank you, Jesus. Boing. So I'm like, when are we going to pray for it? And she goes, you need to ask for forgiveness to God for what we're about to do

and tell him why we're doing this. And I'm like, this is a lot to be putting on me. Yeah, for real. At game time. This is a game I'm going to stay hard for. Yeah. Like, granted, thankfully I'm 20, so the dick is still like, no, we're good, bro. We're good.

Now I'd be like, there's a timer. The clock's ticking. You don't have that long. I like to do my prayer post-court. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we do like the football players do and all make a circle? That's right, after the game. Midfield, take a knee. Can we do that?

So we had to do, so she made me pray. So naked you're praying. Naked. Are you on your knees? Yeah. She's on her knees too, not in a good way. Next to you. we're praying and i i remember saying something apparently i said something good because man the sex for losing your virginity was pretty damn good damn good pretty damn good uh so uh yeah i

said something like god you know we're doing this not to spite you, but to honor you because you put us together. I'm going to use that next time. Pretty good. Pretty good. That's pretty solid. So I did that prayer. So you were both virgins, right? She was a virgin too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we got to do the sex. And it was great. It was great. And then about six months after that uh i started going on the road doing stand-up and she made me be like you're it's either the stand-up or me and i was like deuces so uh yeah but uh she she's a good person she had a good life uh so yeah uh that that's that's so that's how it went up until

that point so once you lost your virginity were you then just hooking up left and right every time you went to the convention every summer or what's the what's the damn broke what happened the stats no one's got dwarf stats like me. I'll bet. No one. If you are a little person and a woman between the ages right now of 30 and 40 and you went to any convention. I've been inside. You got some Brad stank on you. You got some Brad stank.

Oh, God. I love it. I laid waste. There's Killing Fields, a dwarf pussy. Dwarf pussy. I just laid waste to it. Oh, God. I did my thing.

I didn't get laid from a tall woman until i was like 24 25 how old was your first tall woman yeah 24 yeah 24 how'd you meet her uh that was on the road doing stand-up and uh man okay so i found out so once i said because i had told this woman that i had never been with a tall woman before. All right, before you say anything else, let me ask you this. Had you wanted to be? Yeah. Okay.

Of course. You always want to know what's up. Well, some people even, they don't like tall people, short people, skinny people, fat people, whatever. I figured I would always end up with a dwarf because I thought that's the only person who could truly understand me, which is ironic because no, that's not who I ended up marrying. But yeah. So you told her. Yeah, I told her like, yeah, I've never been. Let's talk about how it goes down.

Oh, sure. You're at a show. Yeah. And she comes up to you after. Oh, no. I had a I had a shtick that I would do because this was back when I was a feature act. If any feature acts or hosts are watching this, this is what you do, okay? You go on stage.

You hopefully do well. Yeah, murder. And then run to the bathrooms because at one point. Oh, they're all getting up and going. They got to take a break either after you before the headliner or sometimes during the headliner just like hey i've been i've been i've been already sitting here for 60 minutes i gotta go so yeah stay by the bathrooms they always come by the bathrooms so uh i ended up talking to this one girl and uh she had she had just broken up with

the boyfriend he had bought the tickets and then she went anyway and by herself yeah wow and uh i love when people go to shows by themselves right i think it's the fucking best i used to think it was stupid to go to movies by yourself when i was younger now i'm like oh it's the best yeah plus look at all you miss if you don't go i've been to ball games by myself right by myself stand-up shows even before i was a comic by myself go love it just go have fun um concerts the whole thing so like concerts yeah and yeah it's a lot cheaper uh so so i remember i i told her at one point during the conversation like hey i've never been with a tall one before and that was it she's like well tonight motherfucker is your night had she been with a dwarf no so that that was that so then first

going on so then once that worked i was using that line every night you know i've never been with a tall one meanwhile meanwhile i'm working on pitching a perfect week that week just having one a night so and what was that like were you nervous where'd you go oh for the first time yeah did you go back to her place did you i know i went back to the hotel room uh yeah that that's the other thing guys is uh i mean now i guess for uber you you can go to the woman's place or apartment or whatever house and you and you're good because you have uber but man back in the day before uber you were taking because i've had times on the road where like the girl says come to my place and then i go and then she's gets passed out afterward and i'm like hey i gotta i gotta flight if you could uh yeah just go i'm like ah i got a 6 a.m. If we can get going, I call a cab.

You call a cab. It threw a fart. I mean, you know. No. Yeah, I've had times where I've had to wake up feature acts who lived in the area and be like, bro, I know it's 4 a.m., but you've got to get me. So they have to come pick me up. And before, like, like you know this is when

we had map quest we had to like print out the directions get somewhere have them in their pastor's seat you know uh so yeah that that that's that's how the single life went but it was it was a damn good time so then once you had had uh sex with a tall woman what was your back and forth like did you then start more like what's your what's your statistically what's your ratio now i'm probably like 75 percent tall now really yeah i've definitely overcome those numbers uh but yeah it's 75 80 percent tall women and it yeah because then once it dude getting laid for guys is like a video game where you're starting off with the level and then all of a sudden uh the

thing comes out of the wall and kills you and you're like all right there's a thing right there that comes out of the wall and kills you then you're going back and then you're like all right so i'm gonna duck around that thing and then the thing comes down and smashes you and you're like okay so go out there get into that and they do this and you you're figuring this out take a brawl yeah i was struggling at first like god damn it some guy told me it's like snapping your fingers and i'm like bro it's not like genie like ha you can't that doesn't work yeah it's something else but anyway uh so yeah like you get to know you know the things that you say then and how and how to talk to women it's trial and error

you know i'm sure it's the same thing not as hard but when girls talk to women. It's trial and error. I'm sure it's the same thing, not as hard, but when girls talk to guys or whatever. It is hard. It's all about who you are and how you handle that. You mentioned orgies at this thing. You said what you'll get to. Where is this? Dwarf orgies, man.

At the convention? Or you all met and then went outside? No, no. Fuck yeah, convention, bro. Where are they doing? In the hotel room, bro. One person? Listen.

Back at 365, everybody. Because here's the thing is we don't like y'all tall people. You got to sleep a long way on the bed. We go sardine style. We're lined up, man. You go into the convention, you want to have a cheap hotel room. It's like when you go and you're boys and you go to Vegas, but you're like in your 20s, you don't have money yet.

Laying on the floor. Yeah, we're everywhere. Dwarves just sleep sardine style. So we'd want a cheap hotel room in our early 20s. So, yeah, we would just sleep sardine style. And'd have to want we don't we want a cheap hotel room in early 20s so yeah we would just sleep sardine style have an orgy mixed yeah part of an a dwarf orgy yeah like uh for you i think i think six was the most we got one time but uh yeah six of you yeah how can you get over that it was awesome it It's like that would be what we did there would be the most popular thing ever on Pornhub. Oh, God. Like, it really would be.

Because they got single shot dwarf sex. You probably got to give somebody some reach out to you and be like, hey, man. Can we do this again? Can we recreate that? Steve Hirsch from Vivid, where you at, brother? I've got a number. We all have a number. If you can hit that number number we're doing this shit

you know we're gonna call that tape malibu house because that's what it's gonna take to buy me god damn so yeah it was it was a good time man man. It was great. And then the career just keeps kind of slowly moving up and doing well. And now it's crazy because now I'm getting, like, I'm getting little people coming to my shows that are like, you're our dude. Yeah, fuck yeah. We don't have a guy or a girl out there talking.

Who's doing that? our dude like we yeah we don't have a guy or a girl out there who's doing that i mean in terms of comedians it's me it's tannily davis who's fucking hilarious i gotta give shout out to her because every time i think i'm the first dwarf to do something she's done it you know like she she has her name on the comedy store way before me she would tour way before me tannily davis funny as hell still doing it uh and yeah and there's a couple other dwarf comics doing it um but for the most part we don't have a lot of voices so i i get a lot of little people come to my shows and just be like dude you're you're a guy you're the one and one thing i love about comedy is now it's not a producer or a writer or a director

who's not a little person saying what they assume the dwarf experience is like now i'm i'm writer director actor like everything you should be so it's authentic when i'm on stage to what the actual thing is not what you assume it's like so yeah it's been it's been a fantastic ride so far man dude that's fucking awesome i'm so proud of you yeah um it's fun here's a question i wanted to ask you outside of the conventions that you eventually went to as a kid did you were there any other dwarves in your schools or anywhere you went yeah there was the becker family i was very lucky because my high school had three dwarves at the same time going to the school you plus three or you me and then two others who were

brother and sister uh becker family and uh which is weird because i had known uh the girl sandy uh i had known her my whole life so she was like a sister to me and everyone everyone just kind of wanted us to date because they're like well you got i mean, come on. I mean, you're a dwarf. She's a dwarf. Do you need anything else? Yeah, yeah, you need a couple other things. So, but the funniest part to me was we went to a dance together one time, Sandy and I, and it was our version of the Sadie Hawkins or the Ski Bum.

We called it Ski Bum. Or the girl asks the boy out. Yeah, girl asked the guy. She asked me. I was like, hell yeah, let's do the thing. And you're supposed to wear the same outfit. Oh, I didn't know that was that thing. At our school, it was you wear the same shirt or the same whatever.

And it was a hawaiian theme so i got the idea that since everyone always confuses me with her brother and me like all dwarves look alike that i would dress up like her and she would dress up like me so there's somewhere out there, there's photos of this. Oh, I would love to see that. In like a Hawaiian halter top and a long blonde wig. And her in the backwards white angel's hat that I would always wear. Because I was a fan of the band Limp Bizkit. And I was like, well, I'm not going to be a Yankee fan, so I would do a backwards white angel's hat.

I'm from Anaheim. What's up? So I would do that. And then she's got the hat on and the guy's button-up shirt. Yeah. And no joke, people came up to me and were like, Sandy, what's up? And I'm like, motherfucker. I was like, we were both getting mad.

We thought it'd be something where people would be like oh that's clever you guys are hilarious yeah that's what i thought it would be but it was like what you're not brad i'm i've got tits send your voice got a lot yeah yeah what's up um oh my god so yeah it was hilarious so yeah uh thankfully i had a lot of dwarf friends growing up so we always had sort of those similar experiences and we could share and talk and talk about it you said where growing up so we always had sort of those similar experiences and we could share and talk and talk about it you said where growing up from the yeah they were yeah they were living in boyna park california so they were local in the street from fullerton where i grew up anaheim it's all the same area so yeah it was great it was fantastic having the becker family there

and uh yeah you could just kind of going to the same school. So all the kids were like, oh, yeah, we've got a stellar dwarf population. You know, like we weren't weird to them, you know, because you got three of us at that point. Did any of your friends back then drive? Oh, I was the first one to drive, ironically. Talk to me about getting your driver's license and how the freedom how but how does that like do you have to are they prepared for that at the dmv oh no you gotta call and be like listen we can't do standard issue there's uh there's some adjustments special instructor adjustments

that have to be made so what do you made. So what do you have to do? You show up in your car, obviously. Yeah, my car, which is adjusted. And for those of you who are curious, I just put pedal extenders on my car. And what are they? Are they like blocks? It's like a pedal that attaches onto your pedal. And then there's a rod, and then there's another pedal on top of that,

so you push like that. So, yeah, because when I sit, like when we're sitting down, I'm as tall as you. My torso is the average size. So I didn't need to sit on phone books or anything like that. You don't need to brag about it. I know I'm only 5'10". All right.

I'm average. And then I could reach the steering wheel just fine and all that. So I'm lucky in that all I needed was pedal extenders. So we just hooked it up to my car, went in, took the test, aced it first time, got my license. And now what, 16 you got? Yeah, 16. And now I'm the kid because I was the first one of all my friends. Yeah.

So I'm like. You picking them up and shit? Oh, my God. I was invited to all the parties i'll bet because brad had a car brad had a car and could break dance i was invited to all the parties every party needed me you know so uh it was it was fantastic my first car my parents got me a uh yeah what was toyota tacoma uh they wanted a two-seater because they didn't want all the people yeah they wouldn't be in the car with me so then well then it's like it's a truck so chuck

them yeah that's right they're going right back infinitely more unsafe yeah i mean we all have these moments where you you you you look back on your teens and your early 20s you're like how am i still alive i i should have killed many kids in the back seat of my truck with my driving i think the same thing just all everybody's sitting in pickup trucks and all that back then like it's 16 and driving like a fucking idiot yeah there's set there's several people one one one time three girls hopped in my uh hopped in the truck bed not in a sexy way, but to try to make fun of me or make me not drive off. I forget the circumstances all behind it. And I was like, fuck it. And I gunned it and started taking turns.

And they were screaming, holding on for dear life i'm like and i and i look back and this time's like oh my god that was like i'm so lucky you are lucky i'm so lucky oh i'm so lucky when we all are we've all done dumb shit yeah exactly so do you get any leeway or any love when you get pulled over by the cops yes and uh for two reasons one more than more so than the dwarf stuff is is we're funny so we could if you can get a cop to laugh you're out of that ticket oh my god you're out of that have a line have a line ready have a bit yeah i have a bit for for when i get pulled over and i'll tell you my bit because you can because you don't need to be a dwarf to do this bit um so over here at universal studios they sell these uh and they do it on hall on hollywood boulevard too you go down the little tourist stores they sell these um

they sell these like fake oscars like fake mini oscars and they say things like best teacher best mom stuff like that. I found one one day that said best police officer and I was like, done. Bought it, chucked it in my glove box. You just keep it in there. So when I get pulled over, I just got that Oscar just sitting there and I go, congratulations officer, you got me, you won. And then they look down and they're like, you son of a bitch. And like, they're laughing.

And the best part is they can't keep it because if they keep it, it's a bribe. That's right. So they always give it back to me and they go, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, keep using it. I've gotten out of like four tickets that way. I'm speeding. You know how fast you were going? I don't, but you do. and that's why you win, officer.

Yeah, that is great. Oh, I got out of so many tickets. Four tickets because of that thing. What other areas in your life do you see where people give you leeway? Leeway. You know, I found out that in stand-up. Like, I can say some things that your average comic can't say because I'm not threatening.

And when I was single talking to women, like if a large man said something to a woman, like I might as well just throw you in the back of my truck and take you home and duct tape you like that's you. Right. That can happen like that but if i say that not that i did to that level but like i could say things to where the the woman goes oh you you can't right you like and i would joke to them about that as well like yeah you know that if for any reason i tried something you could could stop it. Like, it's not. Like, it's not like you just hold. Yeah, there's nothing.

There's nothing I could do. Nothing. So, like, I can't do that kind of stuff, you know. So in that that way, I got some leeway where some people wouldn't. But, yeah, that that'd be about it. There's there's other things that are harder you know shop clothes that's harder gotta go to it gotta have a good tailor in your life if you're if you're if you're a little person uh that's harder but uh you ever been in fights like

especially at the conventions with people getting wasted there's never been you've seen them but you've never been in them i've only been other than that kid beating you up that time yeah i've only been in like one fight ever that one not not that one like high school what happened oh i was uh i i i was at the beach with this girl that i that that i was friend zoned but uh i was trying to not be friend zoned turned out she turned out to be a lesbian So there's a good reason why I was friend zone. But. I was. I was at the beach.

And this one guy. She was very attractive. And. This one guy came over. He thought that we were together. And he literally walked up to her. And got mad. Like.

He was like. Why the fuck. Are you with. Like. You're with a midget. Like you'd be with a real man. Really? And stuff like that. And she got mad at him.

And I'm like. Well. Why can't I be with him? And I'm sitting there like. Yeah. Why can't you be with a midget like you'd be with a real man really and stuff like that and she got mad at him like well why can't i be with him and i'm sitting there like yeah why can't you be with me i mean listen i like girls yeah yeah yeah yeah let's make some shit happen uh so like and he said something to me along the lines of like when i spoke up i was like dude just move on like we're fine we're just we're just here after i fun. He said something along the lines of, shut up, midget. This is between me and the bitch.

Whoa. And I was like, all right. I was like 16 years old. I got a truck. I don't like it. But I knew that at that point, them be fighting words. So thankfully, though,

I wrestled in high school. You did? Yeah. So I just started charging the guy. And I'll tell you this. Here's the thing that i found out from that fight and by almost getting into several fights as as i think it's brett ernst has this great joke that white people have almost fight stories yeah yeah it's so true i think i love it i hope it's his joke but yeah he's like all like black like blacks and mexicans are like no i beat this guy up i fought this guy white people like dude let

me tell you i was about to hit if my friends weren't there that night it's such a great bit i love bread hurts anyway um so like i found out that, because no one expects the dwarf to get angry and get physical. Well, I know from what you told me, you're strong as fuck, obviously, at that age especially. So, like, but when a dwarf gets mad, legit mad, and if a little person says to another guy, like, I'm going to fucking kill you, they believe it. They think it's like, oh, dude, that's the little dude in the Bruce Lee movie. He's not doing shit because he knows when he starts doing shit, it's over. Like, it's done. So if a dwarf has the confidence, you'll scare really big guys.

Really big guys. I got another story. I'm not allowed to get into the details of this story. I'll tell you off air. I like that a whole lot. to get into the details of this story, I'll tell you off air, but, uh, I, there was a football player, a collegiate, uh,

D one football player who was trying to do stuff to a woman. And I got him to stop, uh, cause I yelled at him with that kind of confidence. This guy could squash anybody, but I was yelling at him. He's like, Oh,

okay. Okay. Okay. And he, He's like, okay, okay, okay. And he backed off. And I didn't even know this event occurred until years later when the woman saw me and reminded me. I had blacked it out because I saw red. And I didn't

know. But then the girl reminded me and I was like, wait, what? I did that? That's stupid that guy why did i do that like i thought you were so brave like i was stupid yeah that was very dumb but yeah i'm not allowed to give the specific details of that story uh but yeah so on the beach thing i i ran at the guy and he sees the guy running at him he's his dwarf running at him he he was just in shock and because i had a wrestling background double leg got it yeah got a nice double leg that's what i want to ask you about there you go got a nice double leg took him down put him on the ground

he's trying to get up and then at the time uh i'm still am in the pro wrestling but some of those pro wrestling moves they they work. They work. That's why you're not allowed to do them. You can kill somebody. Yes. Kick a little sand in their eyes, a little Mr. Fuji powder, and then do whatever the fuck you want. Good God almighty. So I double-legged him, took him down.

He was on his back. He's trying to get, so he rolls over on his stomach which as a wrestler you're like thank you thank you that's where that's where i want you so he rolls over on his stomach and then i got him in a cross face and just like lean back it it was a move that daniel bryan does now but back in the day was wrestling him chris benoit he did it we don't like to talk about chris benoit because you know, he murdered his wife and kids. He did. So that's not a good thing. So I'm pulling back, and, like, he's screaming in pain. And I make him say, like, apologize.

Apologize right now. And he apologized. It was the best. And then, like, I love that you made him apologize for her, not for anything he said to you or anything. I saw you point to her. Yeah, he was way meaner to her than he was to me. So, like, that's the only fight I've ever been in. I've never been.

So you're undefeated. Yeah. Bam. By the way, that's what I would also say. I'm undefeated. I'm undefeated in fights. It doesn't matter. It's only one and out.

Yeah. I tried to start a fight at a Halloween party one time. You tried to. Why did you want to? Well, all right, this is perfect. So I was dressed as a pimp, right? And, like, I got the suit, the boas, the hat, the funny jewelry, and I have a white cane.

And I'm at this party, and I see this guy walk up behind this girl who's wearing, I think she's trying to do, like, a Lady Marmalade, like that music video. It was all lace and corset and stuff like that. And then he kind of went up and under and like did that. And you saw it? Yeah, without her permission. And in one motion, I flipped the cane over so the jewel was on the outside, the thick part, and just crack.

And like cracked him across the back. Yeah. Like just cracked him, and he was, fuck, and then he turns around and be like, I'll kill you, and I'm standing there. Who did that? Who did that? Yeah, down here, like waving the cane, like. So he looked down, saw me, and then all all his friends were like should we kick his ass or

whatever and i looked at the guy and i was like do you want me to tell him what you did because i will or we can just walk away and don't do that again and he was like you're lucky and almost fight stories you're yeah yeah that's right you're lucky i don't have a button that he walked away but yeah that's the closest closest I got into a fight. I don't really fight. As a dwarf and as a funny guy, you kind of figure out how to get out of fights. Well, that's the whole goal. More than get into them.

Yeah. Yeah. So I don't like to fight. That's not my thing. So I had asked you coming in some things we could talk about and one of the things you wrote down yeah something about your father yeah yeah yeah can we talk about that absolutely we'll talk about that um so my dad uh how old your dad right now right now he's 73 yeah 73 i just got back from a trip to france he's doing it um but yeah he uh about

about six years ago uh six years ago my dad had had problems with skin cancer his whole life uh because he played a lot of golf as a kid and never wore sunscreen i mean no one did back yeah just went out there and did it so what moles and moles and he'd come home and you have a little bandage on we were like what's that he goes i got had to get some skin cancer burned off today so uh and we always were like oh it's no big deal it's no big deal i look i count me among the ignorant ones that did not know how serious skin cancer can get we just had jeremiah walkins on i was telling you i didn't even know a ago, yeah. And he's a skin cancer survivor. Yeah.

And then one day about five years ago, it's like, oh, no. Now it's come back, and it's not something you can just burn out and flick out or freeze off. It's legit. And how did he find out? What made him go get checked out? He had to go get some skin cancer burned off, and he did. And then the doctor was like, hold on. Like, that's different.

Got it tested, and then it turns out it was like something you don't want. So, yeah. So he got that news, had to tell it to the family. And what stage was it in? Jeez. It was not stage four, but it wasn't good. My dad didn't want to be specific with it. I know it wasn't stage four, but I know it wasn't nothing.

But all this time of him going through the years, no one ever noticed that? Or did something just change? No, it's the thing where we always noticed it. He would have scars. He's got scars on his arms and on his back from when skin cancer is removed. But then it was never a problem.

It was just burned off, gone. Yeah, burned off, gone. Because there's moles and then there's moles. You can get a mole taken off before it gets to a bad point but then once it gets to that bad point you know i'm not a doctor i don't know the specific stuff that's what jeremiah said too he had a specific mole that was spotted by his girlfriend separately his mom and separately of all fucking things he's doing uh uh roast battle and he had a shirt off for the wave and a woman in the audience was a doctor and came up to him at the show and said

you have to go get that looked at right now and he's there was three women at three different times who did not talk to each other yeah one being a doctor and a stranger and he went and that's when they found out how bad it was wow yeah. Yeah. I mean, so he's got that, and then we've heard skin cancer, skin cancer, but then he says the words, okay, so my first round of chemo is, and we're like, whoa, oh, shit. Okay, now it's real. Did they put the dye in him and see how far it had spread? Yeah, all that jazz.

And, you know, seeing what chemo does to someone, I mean, Lord knows we all know somebody, but you see the person that they, like, change. Like, my dad's always been kind of, you know, pretty healthy. Whew. That's, it gets, he lost so much weight. Yeah. And he's been bald my whole life, so I wouldn't have to do the whole losing hair thing. But, yeah, it just changes him as a person going through so much pain and doing the chemo, doing the radiation.

He'd have to go and wear these, like, when doing the radiation, he has to wear this, like, it looks like a cheesecloth. And it's like a screen over your whole face yeah over your face to cover to stop the radiation getting like the wrong parts of you so it was brutal man and uh one of the things that i kept doing is now we were in kind of a role reversal like my dad never allowed me to feel sorry for myself because of my dwarfism so dad never allowed me to feel sorry for myself because of my dwarfism, so I never allowed him to feel sorry for himself because of the skin cancer. I would tell him constantly, hey, let's get out there, let's do some stuff,

let's go, let's go. There were times when he didn't want to fight, and I was like, no, you got a daughter that's going to have kids soon. You got to do this for them, you know, because we got more events in our lives that we want you around for. So how long was the whole process? Like, so he came home and basically dropped that bomb when you guys like that.

My chemo starts, boom. Yeah. And then he went right in. Right into it. And he went to UCI Medical Center. Shout out to UCI because they're fantastic there. And I remember that it was about, I want to say, six to eight months of treatment. No, no, shit, no.

That's a long time. No, it was longer than that. Longer? Yeah. Because it's hard to get into specifics, but so he's about, we hear that he's going to go in for another appointment. And this is the appointment where they've done all the rounds of chemo and radiation. is the appointment where they've done all the rounds of chemo and radiation and they go like all right now we're gonna look at you again see what's up and we know that uh we know that if the answer is uh if if it's good news then fuck yeah good news if it's bad news it means there's not like we'll try again but it's probably not gonna work like really yeah it's to that

point so and and also because my dad's age at the time like it's it's it's hard for anyone to go chemotherapy anybody so to you know you're you're 25 in the prime of your life chemorexia if you're 70 years old you got some heart problems you got a hip thing you got that like it it fucking takes you out it takes you out so uh i remember the appointment was going to happen while i was going to be at the comedy works in denver okay and uh so i'm doing i'm doing the show in comedy works i know the appointment is in the morning. And that hospital's here in California. Yeah, and that UCI is University of California, Irvine.

So I'm watching the phone like all day. All day I'm watching the phone because I know that call. And when that call comes, I know that that's going to be the call. I'm watching the phone and no ring, no ring, no ring. Gets to the show. And the comics. My opening act is on stage. When my feature act is on stage, phone rings.

And it's my mom's ID. I'm like, fuck, okay, here we go. And I answer the phone. And I go, hey, mom. And then the first words out of her mouth were, he's in remission. Which is like, I remember I got that news and I just fell i fell on the ground and immediately just burst into tears on the on the on the comedy works south green room floor i know we're in the basement yeah and uh no this is the south all out there in the south club yeah so uh i'm just i'm i'm crying and now the other the host

and the other comic backstage they don't know the news that I just got. They just see me on the phone and within a second just blah and everything. And when they say ugly cry, ugly cry. The ugliest of cries. Just letting out every bit of emotion that you've stored up and tried to be strong and tried to be good so dad doesn't see that you're scared and all that all of that is coming off it's like you're shedding a skin and uh then like i look up at the comics i see the horror on their face i'm like my dad you don't understand like is this cancer and like they hear cancer like oh fuck and they're like no no he's good found out he's in remission

and um so then and literally as that's happening the feature closes host goes out there and I'm wiping tears from my face as they say like please welcome to stage Brad Williams

and I'm like motherfucker so i go out there i go out there and they have a they have a mirror right before the door at the comedy works and i look at myself in the mirror right before i go out on stage and it's obvious i've been crying it's just red well the whole thing you know i've been crying. It's just red, well, the whole thing. You know I've been crying. So I'm like, alright, I gotta talk about this. So I go out, do a couple of introductory standard jokes that I know are gonna do well. And then I go like, hey,

so this is what my face normally looks like. Here's what's up. And I start talking to the audience. And I ended up doing about 25 minutes just off the top of my head, just on my dad. And how he raised me, his teachings, everything like that. And how much I care about the guy.

And that 25 minutes, because they recorded that set that night. I listened to it. I'm like, oh, I got something here. Have you ever let your dad hear that so that 25 minutes became my second showtime special which is called daddy issues fuck yeah which is why that special is called daddy issues and the best part about that is he was in the audience when i recorded that special that's amazing so i have that's i close on all of the cancer stuff

and all of his teaching and everything like that. As I'm doing the bit in my special, I go, don't look at him. Do not look at him because if you look at him, you're going to lose it. As I'm doing the bit, I look down, I see him, and I see he's crying. I'm like,

so then you see it shoot the last yeah so you do you cry on it yeah you see it close enough you can oh no there's no if you see it close enough there's oh brad's crying right now yeah yeah he's got this new clothes where he cries for five minutes. But I just saw him. I break down. It's really innovative. I was Nanette before Nanette, damn it. So in the special, I close with something that I've never closed with before because it was in the moment.

I'm crying. My dad's there. I say my dad is in the audience tonight. Like, you beat this shit. And he's in the audience tonight. Audience is giving him a standing ovation. Oh, wow. My dad's up there throwing a fist in the air.

And I'm like like fuck yeah and then i got to say something that i hope we all get to say to our fathers where i can promise you i won't go ahead i might be able to write it fucking stick it in the ground and see if they can still read it oh that's the darkest shit it's so horrible definitely whatever you're about to say i'm definitely never gonna be able to say this to my dad so funny ah that's so good um so the thing i i hope that we all get to say to our our dads at some point is thank you and um i just got up to be there and for my special

tell them thank you thank you for making me the man i am today thank you for showing me how to fight thank you for being strong for me and uh you know i don't ever forget it and that and that and that i love you and got to say that at the special and and you see my dad's crying, and I'm crying, and then I say, thank you, good night. And the cool part is not only that I got to document that, that I have that moment. If you watch my special Daddy Issues, I think you can watch it free on YouTube, probably. It's on Amazon Prime, but watch it on YouTube.

It's free. I mean, but I love Amazon. Anyway, so you see how it ends and i'll get people that come up to me after you know at shows and stuff and be like dude like i watched it because you're funny and then you gotta fucking lay that thing on me at the end but but he's like but a lot of people are very supportive of it and the cool cool thing is I get people that come up to me and say, you know, I lost my dad to cancer, I lost my brother and my mom, whatever. And the coolest part is that they're not – because I thought when people first started saying that to me,

I thought they'd be mad at me. Like, why did your dad get to live and my mom didn't or my aunt or whatever didn't? Yeah, I thought that's what was going to happen. And that's not what happens. It turns out people are just happy that someone beat it, that someone fought this thing and came out on the other side. And that support on the road and hearing those stories, oh, dude, it makes you every gamut of emotion like you you go

through it and uh and but i'm so thankful for every person that comes up and shares those stories i'm glad i get to listen i'm glad they get to tell me i've had people tell me stuff they're like i've never like i don't talk about this and i go that's okay talk about it to me. It's fine. You hear that, Alabama? Alabama. Brad's talking to y'all. We're talking. Tell me stories. So that's this silver lining on a very, very dark cloud,

is that people get to hear a story of success. People get to have a little bit of hope. And nothing makes me happier than when people come up to me after shows and go, hey man, how's your dad? Because I know they watch the special and I know that I just gave them an hour of entertainment and they're not asking from,

they don't care about the photo, they don't care about the photo. They don't care about the CD, DVD, T-shirt that they're buying afterward. All available, Alabama. All available. All available. GrandValuesComedy.com. You should pick that up. They're not caring about that.

They're not, hey, what can you do for me? They're, hey, how's your dad? Right. And that means so much when people ask that. I want to ask, how is your dad? You said this was six years ago, right? Yeah, dad's still in remission. He still gets checked up.

Great. How often? What is the checkup for something like that? Once a year, twice a year? Yeah, like once a year. Just kind of go in there and see what's up. There was a little scare at one point, but it turned out not to be a scare,

which was very thankful. But yeah, he's doing great. And like I said, he just got back from a trip to france he went to see the cliffs of normandy he's always wanted to see him you know see where see where d-day happened and uh he got to do that so yeah he's got to he's got to hold grandchildren you know he's got to play with grandkids he's got to meet my wife. So life is good. And, man, there's one thing that having a scare like that will do is it will make you so thankful for bonus time. Yeah.

Bonus time. Whether it be. Yeah, it's all bonus time. Yeah. Yes. It's all bonus time now. So whatever you get. And my only message would be to not wait for the bonus time. That's right.

Do whatever you're going to do. And get your moles checked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For real. Do whatever you're going to do in the time you have now. Because of Jeremiah, I already met an appointment with my doctor. He's like, I don't like to look at that one. I'm like, let's cut these motherfuckers off.

Yeah, let's just chop it off. Yeah, let's just chop it off. Yeah, let's just get it out there. Because, you know, we all think as we're working on our tans when we're in our teens that it's the best thing that we can be doing. No, don't do that shit. It's funny because sometimes people make fun of me like I'll go to a party or whatever or a pool party, take a shirt off. People go, ah, Brad's pasty. I'm going to go, good. That's right. Brad's skin cancer free is what the fuck I am.

I'll take pasty. I'll take pasty any day of the damn week. So, yeah, I'm always very thankful when people are like, you're pasty as fuck. I'm like, I'm not having skin cancer, so we're good. So, yeah, I would say that, and I would say don't wait for bonus time. Say what you're going to say to people in the time you have. You know, don't wait for the catastrophic event that makes you gain perspective. Hear those events from other people.

Gain that perspective and take advantage of the time you have now. That is well said, brother. Thank you, my friend. Hear that, Alabama? Hear that, Alabama? Well, brother, thank you so much for coming on and opening up i really appreciate it i know that's not easy to do no but but it was fun it feels good to tell these stories and you make me feel safe ryan i love you brother thanks man love you

too please one more time promote whatever you'd like absolutely uh my podcast the about last night podcast with my heterosexual life mate, Adam Ray. I stole that line from Kevin Smith. It's not mine, but I think it's great. Heterosexual life mate. That is great. Please subscribe to that on Twitter at FunnyBrad, on Instagram at BradWilliamsComic.

All my tour dates, BradWilliamsComedy.com and don't forget Alabama. I am coming to you June 21st and 22nd at the Stardome in Birmingham, Alabama. I will be there June 23rd. Zany's in Nashville. And then Philadelphia, I'm going to come your way June 27th through the 29th. That's going to be at Helium Comedy Club.

So go see me there. Those have been dates. Those are the plugs. And I really appreciate you having me on, my friend. Thank you, brother. Definitely go see Brad live. He's fantastic. And this has been a great episode, dude.

Thank you. Thanks, man. I'm Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. Talk to youall next week.