The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Chad Zumock

Episode Date: March 20, 2019

My HoneyDew this week is none other than Cleveland’s stepson Chad Zumock! Seven years of college earned him a general studies degree but growing up without a father, watching family die around him and drinking himself into trouble earned him that #HoneyDew status! Subscribe today! https://TheHoneyDewPodcast.com

You're listening to The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. It's another Wednesday, and we're doing it over here at your mom's house. I'm Ryan Sickler. You can find me on all social media, Ryan Sickler. My website is ryansickler.com. As I tell you every week, my new album, Get Ahold Of Yourself, is available now. iTunes, Apple Music, Amazon, you know, all that shit.

Spotify. Make the Spotify channels, guys. It helps big time. Check it out. You can stream it on Sirius also out there. And if you're using iTunes, throw up that five-star review. Phoenix, House of Comedy, April 4th through the 6th. I'm coming to see you, Phoenix.

Vegas, I'll be there on the 26th and 27th of April. I'm doing some June shows in Richmond, Maryland, and Atlantic City with Tommy Segura. And August 1st through the 3rd, I'll be at the House of Comedy in Minnesota. I will let you know the Edmonton dates. I think it's in May. I just got to finalize that. And again, doers, I just want to say thank you for all the positive feedback. Make sure you're subscribed.

Tell everybody. Download. Rate. Review. All that stuff. it helps big time and uh as i said before we'll be setting up the craft piece on its own feed here very shortly the website for the honeydew the honeydewpodcast.com where you can get all the info that you need you know you can email me at honeydewpodcast at gmail.com and facebook is the honeydopodcast twitter at honeydopod

and if you're new to the show welcome if you don't know what we're doing over here we're laughing in the face of adversity having some fun with the not so fun times and this guest here is a good damn time ladies and gentlemen please welcome chad zumach yes sickler i'm a fan you know that i know and i appreciate you being here, and thank you for coming on today. No, I wanted to come on. I was excited. You know, I know you and Jared are tight still. Oh, yeah.

And I see you guys together, hug each other and shit, but it's just like, it's almost though, it's like Richie, Fonzie, and Potsie left Happy Days. It was like that one dude. Who was the one dude who came in the sitcoms? Yeah. Big Al's still in the back, though. Big Al's kicking it. Mr. Miyagi even left fucking Happy Days.

Yeah, Pat Morita's out. He's out of there. They're all out. Ralph Miles is gone. Tom Most is gone. Tom Most is gone. Tom Most is gone. Will you turn me down a little bit? Yeah, but you got a different vibe, though.

I like the vibe, though. You like this? Yeah, I like it. You're perfect for this. I was saying to you off mic, if you haven't heard Chad's episode of the Craft Feast, you got to go listen to that. That Hall & Oates shit, I mean, God, we had so much fun on that episode. Do people still come up to me about that? That was like two years ago? That's the feasters of the shit. They gotta go listen to that that hall and oat shit i mean god we had so much fun on that do people still come up to me about that that was like two years ago that's the feasters of the shit they still come up to me it's no joke so if you haven't heard that episode you

should definitely check that out and uh let's get into why don't you just promote whatever you want because i know you're ready to go we can get right into uh why you're perfect for the honeydew no it's cool man you got you know everyone's got dates you could follow me follow my instagram because people were telling me about instagram when i thought it was going to be whack i thought it was going to be like vine i'm like it's not going to work so i was promoting my twitter i was promoting everything but instagram so now i put all the dates on the instagram chad zumach if you can hit me up there because for the longest time i thought that was just going to go out of style

and I look like a fucking idiot because it's the number one social media platform of all time. Of all. I know. No, man, these zebra pants are going to be around for a while. You'll see. You'll see. Not parachute pants, zebra pants.

Dude, I called the wrong shit. I really did thought it was going to go out of style. When Vine went down, I was like, fuck you. I told you. I told you. Now, you'll see. Mustangs will be gone two, three years. You'll see.

You'll see. Always calling the wrong shot. I bought a DeLorean. So, yeah, hit me up on Instagram. And I got a YouTube page called Adventures in Argyle. And I got an album. It's not number one like Ryan Sickler's album, but it was number five. I mean, come on.

That's all. Come on, dog. Let's be very proud of that. So, yeah, it's called A White Guy Named Chad. It's on iTunes everywhere. And you can create your own channel like your album. That's right. It helps.

But you're also on your podcast. You're new on, well, new-ish. Yeah. No, I got my own podcast called Sit Down Zumach. I'd love to get you on. And I got the legendary old Gs of podcasting, Punch Drunk, which I came on. Yeah. And it's cool because it's almost like a new life to the whole thing.

And we were talking earlier before this. I feel like I'm like Sammy Hagar on Punch Drunk. I got some hits well we love all those dudes over there so no it's punch drunk and that's been good to me that's i'm getting people coming up to me from that so that's all hit them up and it's not i appreciate it well these doers are gonna be lighting your ass up after these stories i imagine so uh some people come on and tell uh you know a story about growing up without a dad some people told uh most embarrassing moment after moment after moment other people have gotten into fucked up childhoods myself included you read my wikipedia so we're just gonna start linear with you and we'll dial it back to childhood yeah i grew up without a dad oh you did i didn't know

my dad my dad left me how old before i was born oh really i'm out i'm peace and i grew up with my mom and in cleveland i grew up 45 minutes outside of cleveland until age five was in a town called streetsborough ohio shout out borough campus heist uh element or no it was campus it was campus uh what do we call it first grade what's first grade it's the it's the beginning of elementary the beginning of elementary school i mean kindergarten really and then i moved to k but uh no that was my like i grew up in that without was just my mom and my grandparents because i knew my grandparents it was my grandparents and me. We're living in a home. Are these your mom's family? Yes.

The Zumachs. Ben and Helen. Shout out. Rest in peace. And until age five. And that's when the honeydew began. At five? No, four.

Four. When I saw my grandpa die in front of my eyes. You saw it? Yeah. Because he was my hero. I didn't have a male role model in my life, so he was my dad, everything to me. Sure. And I remember... Do you remember when you were a kid,

do you distinctively remember vivid memories? I remember memories when I was three. I can go back to, I've gone back to four. I can go back to four. Very vivid. I walked my mother when we, she and I talked for a long time one night, and I walked her mentally through every home we ever lived in the floor layout of it and I walked her through the one we lived in in Houston for just like under a year when my dad got transferred to work down there and I walked

her through the whole house and I was like we had these curtains she's like yeah yeah yeah and I was four then so I don't I don't go back to three but I got four yeah well Yeah. Well, I was three and a half, four. I don't know. It was in that ballpark. But I distinctively remember sitting on my grandpa's lap watching Hogan's Heroes. Yeah. He was drinking Rolling Rock beer, and I still have these pictures. So he was my hero.

And then one day he came into the kitchen. He got a Rolling Rock. I remember him looking at me, and he fell to the ground. He had a heart attack and died in front of my eyes. That when he was he watching you like were you by yourself i was by myself a little kid for you remember it you knew you i could tell you the pain on the wall like the countertop i could tell you everything it was so surreal it was very vivid and still ingrained in my mind so are you like laying next to him are you crawling over him what do you just he falls to the ground i don't know what to do i'm crying and luckily my uncle comes like 15 minutes later and sees my grandpa dead and he calls the ambulance i don't know

what's going on you know i'm a kid but i i remember the whole that's his son then right yeah his son and my step-uncle or whatever my half-uncle so my grandpa dies i'm like okay this is where everything bad happens in my life starts it's where i become a kind of portal open right this is my minor league baseball oh my god all right i'm like all right grandpa's dead i'm four here we go then i'm five my grandma gets cancer you know and it's terrible how by the way how old was your grandfather when he died he was in his 60s you know it was the 70s late 70s so early 80s and then grandma gets cancer and every morning i'd go to visit her every morning i go see her just say how you doing

grandma whatever i'm a little kid it's my grandma i see the chemo her losing her hair then one morning i come in this is like eight months later she's dead i find her dead you found her i found her dead which is so fucked up at that point i'm like going to be a comic. At this point, if I was your mom, I'd say, I'm getting the fuck away from this kid. He's bad luck right here. Everybody's dying around this kid. I'm dating him.

Is Chad coming? Chad is not coming. It's the omen. Chad's staying the fuck home. Oh, man. So a year later. Yeah, not even a year. Was she at home?

Yeah, we were taking care of her at home. He said we. Like, what were you doing? I mean, I was visiting her. All you were doing was making sure no one was alive. I was keeping updates on the current Empire Strikes Back movie. Oh, my God. So you find her.

Yeah, so she's dead. And what happens? Do you call your mom in? Yeah, I scream, I cry, and then mom comes in. And next thing you know, it's a blur. Funerals. Sure. And then I'm a single parent household.

I don't have my dad. So my mom. So it's just you and your mom in the house now? We're in the house now, and then she has stepbrothers, half sisters. No will, we lose the house. Yeah, I know that story. You've been there? Yeah.

Okay. No will, no life insurance. Nothing. Yeah. So after that, I'm like, fuck. I learned from that. Last year, literally last year year i went and paid a lawyer and i was like here's the will here's the life insurance get all this shit out of the way get

all the shit i never had oh good now i told my daughter already but i was like listen you got a little one too yeah i'm like i'm i just want you to know that you got a a life insurance policy but uh i'm hoping i outlive that motherfucker i'm betting against you on this one and don't do anything weird yeah don't do any dumb shit you'll get that money eventually you don't have to jump start i hope you don't get it i hope you never see a penny of that money for the right reasons my mom's struggling she don't know what to do how old your mom at this point man 30s? No, she's late 30s. Single mom, late 30s, five-year-old boy.

Her parents just dropped dead in front of him. Actually, early 30s. Let's take that back. Even younger. Yeah. At this point, I don't know what's going on. I'm just a young boy. She leaves.

She puts me with my aunt and uncle uncle and they take care of me for three years to this day she goes to texas i don't even know really the fuck she was doing in texas so from like five to eight five to seven because i was first second and third in this one high school but it was a blessing her brother or sister and uncle it was her brother and it was a blessing in disguise because my aunt and uncle they were great her brother, and it was a blessing in disguise because my aunt and uncle, they were great people. I had cousins. I was living on a ranch. I had all these great things.

That's where my imagination took place. I was riding dirt bikes, playing in the sand pit. Did you see your mom at all during this time? No. She never visited. You never went and visited her. She would send me gift baskets for Christmas, Easter. I knew she was out

there you know but i didn't care as a child like i had these awesome aunt and uncle and these cousins so do you talk to your mom now are you i don't she's dead oh my god you get aggressive with that dead man no before I feel the pain. No, before the podcast, Sickler was talking. He's like, dude, I'm excited to do this podcast with you because I just need some laughs. That's so far 0 for 3. I'm like, Ryan, I don't even know. Because I'm crafty. I got these fun stories.

I'm like, but the honeydew is all about sad, degenerate shit. Well, that's what this is. So the reason I asked that was because of this. I wanted to know if you know for a fact if your mom was in Texas or if your mom, maybe she had a nervous breakdown. Both her parents just died within a year. Your dad's long gone. Do you know if they have any communication at all? Have you ever met your father or know anything of him?

To this day is a blur. That's something that you live to be 106. Yeah. Nowhere near you. I met my real dad. I'll get to that. All right. I'll work up to be 106. Yeah. Nowhere near you. I met my real dad. I'll get to that. All right. I'll work up my way to that.

But what she was doing in Texas, no clue. Okay. We moved to Kent, Ohio, which is 40 minutes outside of Cleveland, Ohio. We, the aunt and uncle. No, me and my mom. Okay. When she came back. She came back.

She came back to rescue me. And Kent, Ohio is like a tree city. It's where Kent State University is, where I went to college. And if you might know Kent State University, it's the song Four Dead in Ohio. Yeah, I know that. Tin Soldiers and Nixon Coming. And it's also, for comedians out there, shout out to Steve Harvey, Arsenio Hall, Tammy Pescatelli, Drew Carey, Ryan Dalton.

All out of Kent State. Steve Byrne, John Capararulo all out of Kent State University that was my university and comedians came out of that place for some reason so I grew up in school there and that's when shit was weird like you know I was trying to figure out my life growing up and uh I get I go to high school I was always like a I was a very small kid I didn't hit puberty until my senior year but I played sports but I got picked on a lot so you didn't hit puberty till your senior year well summer of my junior year so was your voice high as shit yeah girls i was just a just like high-pitched jazz kill anybody lately oh man high man hot piss jazz killed three people you know

you gotta be deadly bro so you know you're trying is it so hold on because that's a honeydew of a moment right there we go can we talk about that directed i mean i remember in middle school guy kids start hitting puberty and like you'd see hair and stuff. I didn't have any at the time. You're just like, oh my god. It's all so weird. But I could... Until you're a senior, are you in the showers and stuff

at the school? Are you trying to hide? I would hide. I played team sports. I would wait until everyone went in. I didn't have any puberty going on. Any puberty going on? No armpit hair? Nothing.

And junior year, oh, man, this was even coming out of my mind for the honeydew, but it's honeydew. I was fucking this girl, Sarah Kramer. Fuck it. Mark that time. No, put it in. Fuck it. It's a true story. Like, we we're hanging out and she had a thing

for me and one night she's like i want to hang out with you and we hung out and we're making out first girl i like made out tongue kiss she she started going down on me and i i was not a man and i just let it go you shaved i shaved it all for you tonight, girls. That's what I want to run with. I got a blowjob when I was not even through puberty. Nuh-uh. And she, like, you know, I didn't finish at all. It just happened. But after that, that's when I think that was like.

That jumpstart. You got to start growing up, Doug. That jumpstarted you into puberty. That girl gave you a blowjob and kickstarted puberty. I think she did. It's been long enough, man. You're 22 years old, for Christ's sake. You don't have any armpit hair.

And I've never been so excited in my life. Getting blown. Then senior year, I came in swinging. I was playing sports, and I was always the class clown because that was my defense mechanism because I grew up in a weird, abusive household. Abusive? Yeah, I had a stepfather.

My mom married when she was 12. When I was 12. When she was 12. Yeah, when she was 12, she got married. When I was 12, she got married, and then my stepfather was really abusive, like hit me a lot. He did. Oh, man, I'm talking hardcore.

And your mom didn't do anything she turned a blind eye my my stepdad was joe jackson and except i didn't get talented from it or i became i didn't become a child molester either god and he would beat you and you would tell your mom she would turn a blind eye to it like because he saved us our family financially we're broke welfare government cheese like we were struggling but what did he do for a living he was like an electrician but he was like high up on the electrician he brought home a lot of money

did he have other kids he did he had a family that he left for my mom. And my mom, God bless her soul, love her to death. But she, oh, by the way, it's Eddie F's birthday in 15 minutes. This came up on the screen. But, no, my mom, God bless her soul, she did her best. And she was just trying to save me financially because we were going through a tough time. And she just didn't know. She was weak-minded at the time.

Was he beating her? I think so, yeah. I would say probably, right? Yeah, yeah. So when did she leave? She left about a year and a half ago to the Lord. She stayed with him. She stayed with him.

She was very weak-minded. It was very hard. I know this is a comedy podcast but it's a true story it's like you know it's your life it's my life so you know you deal with this shit like we're all going through stuff we all have problems and unfortunately i went through this situation and it's sad but reflecting back on it it made me who i am today whether it's good or bad i know i hear you on that so what about what about the stepfather? Did you continue to have a relationship with him? I cut that shit off.

I left home at 17 to move in with my friend my senior year. I have not spoken to this dude since I was 18. But you would still see your mom and just avoid him? Yeah, it was very weird and very odd, including up to my mom's funeral. Listen, I need my place wired up properly, man. I hate to be asking any favors or anything, and I know you gave me a couple good ass moves, but there's anyway you could throw like nine, ten outlets around my place, man.

Just scatter them in some real favorable places. By the way, I need you to, because I'm going to tell these stories. With the Crap Easter, funny story, I need the Sickler laugh. I need that shit. There's a lot of people out there that disagree with you. Because the sickler laugh is contagious. And I want to, yeah. So you cut it off.

You still maintain a relationship with your mom. Yeah. But your senior year, you come in swinging. You're playing sports. That's where we were. I had to sidetrack for the whole puberty thing. Because that's pretty we were i just i had to sidetrack for the whole puberty thing because that's right that's pretty interesting yeah and i you know i started coming to my own and becoming a normal person i go to college at kent state university which i described and i went to college not knowing what i wanted to do but i knew we were a low-income

family i declared myself independent i got a lot of financial aid i got grants so i was in college just to fucking figure out my life. And it was a whole new world. And that's when I stumbled upon public access TV. Okay. And where I bonded with a good friend of ours, the late, great Brody Stevens. Yeah. He had a public access show in Seattle.

And I had one in Kent, Ohio. And it was during the time when SportsCenter was relevant and great with Keith Olbermann, Dan Patrick, Craig Kilborn. You remember that? I sure do. And when people would watch that at 11 o'clock, you didn't go on Twitter because you didn't have it. You would have to watch SportsCenter for the highlights. They were Channel 17 on Time Warner. We were Channel 16.

So I became this weird public access icon within my city. Like I was a public access. That's high-pitched Jack. That is high-pitched Jack. I went to school with that guy. I was a star. He didn't have bald hair until he was 22, man. So I went from zero to hero.

Yeah. So you became a local little Ohio favorite there on Channel 16? Sickler, I know you've been on Joe Rogan. You've had the Crab Feast. You had the number one album. But you don't even know what public access superstardom is. You're right. I did go on a public access show out here.

This is probably in the late 90s. A dude had one just like that. He tapped into it early, too. And I was on one but yeah i don't know what that's where people coming up to you like you from so and so no hell no other people are like you from chad from last call that's where it was it was like i was getting dinners picked up what i'm like 22 years old like what the fuck is going on right now it's crazy i was getting laid from public access tv come on yeah. Yeah, dude. Chris D'Elia, if you're listening, I was getting laid from public access TV.

Like that's how hot I was at the time. Public access. Yeah, that was like my – to this day, I've done a lot with my life. That was the highlight of my life, public access TV during when the internet wasn't even a thing. So that's when like my life started going up. I'm like I got gotta do comedy for a living so that's why i got into comedy because i didn't care about college college brought me this public access life and i'm like this is what i want to do i want to like be recognized i want to tell

jokes and be silly and come up with ideas and did the college have an issue with you doing any of this we were on the college station that's what i'm saying any of the content that you did did they have an issue with anything you did? Well, shout out to TV2. I don't know if they're still a thing, but they gave us full reign from 9 to midnight. TV2 on Channel 16, Time Warner Cable? There it is. There it is, bro.

So from 9 to midnight, and by the way, ESPN's at Channel 17, so if you're accidentally trying to find SportsCenter, you would accidentally watch my show. That's why we got so popular, going back to bring it together. Well, back here when we first moved out here, it was like, what was that guy? Had to bury or something, had his own show. And he had girls with their tits out and everything. And we're like, how is this legal? We would sit in there and watch the shit out of that.

Really? Yeah, he was real popular. He was like you there, but with titties. Probably the difference. Now, we never were allowed to do titties because we're still on the college i had i had an am radio show at the college because uh they wouldn't give me an fm show and uh they were they were probably right to do that but my am show was the shit what was your college again towson okay so okay did you ever get laid from the am radio show? No, bro. I got laid from public access TV.

Oh, man. No, I told my boy Brody Stevens about the story. We had this weird thing that inspires to keep going with our comedy. Out of college, I graduated with a general studies degree. Seven years. Are you serious? I don't even know what it is. You did seven years for the

generals. Ryan, I don't even know what the fuck it is. I have it. You try to be a doctor, right? One more year for you, that's going to be hot doctor, high-pitched chef. I may or may not be

qualified to be assistant manager at Hot Topic. You might only be 12 credits shy of a doctorate, man. You wish you were looking. That's how much bullshit college is. If you're listening, go to a trade school. It probably really is. But if you know what your passion is, because like you said, so many people, I was the same way. I wanted to do psychology, physical therapy.

I ended up with a Bachelor of science in mass comm because i took human anatomy and physiology and all these classes in community college and when it transferred over it ended up being science instead of arts who the fuck's got a bachelor of science in mass comm i know and look what you end up doing producing shows selling shows i did i did actually i did actually thanks man i did actually learn a lot in college. But also, technology changed so fast that we actually had a teacher who would make us do reel-to-reel radio edits. Yeah.

And we had to cut it with a razor blade and splice it and all this and come in on the weekends and do that because he came from that school and was like, you need to know this technology. And we're like, no, man, there's CDs out, bro. We don't need to know this shit. But he forced it on us. And then within, that was right when the internet was starting, 95, 96. It started getting, man, we were on it there.

They were like, oh, you can look at it. I remember looking up all this Hendrix stuff and just checking out different shit. And then boom. Yeah. And all of it is now fucking fitting inside a pen cap when we were in public access tv it was like 99 98 2000 and we were doing vhs to vhs edits yeah we had two decks and that's where we're editing our tv show that where people were watching throughout the county so no i was in the same boat and then the internet came it was a different ball game so you developed this uh popularity you spend seven hard years in college you graduate

kent state with a general study yeah i'm a kent state notable alumni are you notable all right go to my wikipedia i was i was the grand marshal on the kent state homecoming parade because drew carey canceled true story look it up you can google it he canceled drew carey couldn't do it so they they put me as the grand marshal i had a 2.4 gpa seven years leading the charge i got a whole i got a marching band that's the best we got today just today y'all this is not indicative of everybody at Kent State, man. There's a marching band. They got the Cub Scouts throwing out candy. Fucking Graham Marshall.

There's people lining the streets, and here's me. 2.4 General Studies. How are we doing? Welcome to Kent State University. And I ate it up. Oh, my God. I had two kids graduated before you did. That's great, man.

I know this guy. That's Chad. That's high-pitched Chad. He got hair on his balls two years ago. She might have been there. The girl blew me. She might have said, holy shit, he's the homecoming parade guy. Oh, man.

Leading the charge with a 2-4 i'll show you the photos dude it's ridiculous i cut the ribbon i cut the ribbon oh my god it was the craziest 2-4 c-minus so we graduated school with my shitty degree and i was like what i don't like i got this general what am i gonna do i i want to keep doing this public access stuff it's fun right so we go to cleveland all seven years all seven years i graduate i was like i want to do to keep doing this public access tv so we go to cleveland public access we're like we're gonna up the game here next step and then that's what created differences become i know i know what bands go through now like the beatles there's a guy in my group i love that you're comparing the beatles to fucking cleveland now i know how john lennon feels yeah the john lenn. You should have seen this shit happen to us after we left Channel 16, man.

I'll tell you. Rolled up into Cleveland. All kinds of creative differences. Somebody get Paul McCartney on the phone. I got to see how he deals with this shit. We were the Lennon and McCartney. And whoever's the leader in that band fucking led into McCartney. We're having differences.

And I'm like, fuck this. And we started doing a sketch group, and that's not working. I'm like, I want to do stand-up. Fuck this. So I moved to L.A. So the TV didn't go well? It wasn't as good as college. It wasn't.

We weren't getting the feedback. We started fighting, man, because we had that popularity. And we started blaming each other. We're like, and we start blaming each other. We're like, what the hell's going on? It's your fault. Why are you blowing up? You know,

we just kept going. We're like the Chili Peppers. The album got shittier and shittier with all due respect to Kiedis and Flea, but for Shantae, carry that shit. So at this time, I just said,

I'm going to do stand-up. I don't want to deal with all this nonsense. And that's why I got into stand-up. I moved to LA in 2005. Solo sport. Solo sport. I moved here for a girl. She dumped me two weeks when I was here.

Two weeks. Damn. I know, man. You moved here for her? Yeah, because we were doing a long distance. How'd you meet her? In college. She was younger than i was

and she moved here everybody was i know i know everybody at that motherfucking college there's professors younger than your ass when i was in tenure when i was on college i was on aoe instant messenger when i met, I was on AOL Instant Messenger. When I met her, she was on Facebook. Oh, my God. So we did a seven-month relationship. And to this day, I think she's my soulmate, even though she's married with two kids. Happily married. She moved here and met somebody.

And I moved here in three weeks. Was it that guy? No, it was somebody else. So I move here and we break up. I'm here in three weeks. Was it that guy? No, it was somebody else. So I move here, and we break up. I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do? So I go to Hollywood. How'd she do it? I got in a big fight with her one night.

I was drunk. By the way, drinking has been a problem for me my whole life. Is it in the family? I don't. Maybe. I think I kind of catapult. I think you always use drinking as a coping skill from the pain, you know, to deal with my pain. And I think it was always almost my medicine.

I wasn't on prescription medication, so I was like, I'll drink and I'm happy. So she broke up with me, and I didn't know what to do. So I go to the Hollywood Improv right there on Sunset. And that was right when D that was right when dane was becoming dane myspace dane so i'd sit in the back of the room watch dane i watch gaffigan attell and i'm like i'm gonna do this and rita piazza who's still there love rita piazza dude she would feed me meals she felt bad the best yeah and like i was just like okay this is my family so i go to the haha cafe throw down five dollars and i go up and do five minutes of stand-up little do i know people who were with me was chris d'alia whitney cummings all starting out at the same time i didn't realize i was even

amongst these great comics but we were just doing our thing trying to figure out our thing so all my honeydew craziness led me to stand up and that's why i got in this stand-up i don't know where we go from here well you said you met your real father why don't we uh why don't we go to that so how did that happen and why did that happen that's a good yeah look at you you you. You're a fucking Tom Brokaw. I pay attention, bro. You say Brokaw? Is that what it is? Yeah, you're the Tom Brokaw.

That would be me. I'm a piece of Tom Brokaw. You're the Ryan Sickler. So I'm at probably about eight years of my stand-up. I get a gig on the radio. Back home. back home cleveland okay cleveland ohio so i go home for some good money and is your mom still there at this time is she still in ohio or she is okay she is i i started opening for daniel tosh who yeah love tosh uh and you know and we didn't have the best relationship i don't know why he had me to open for him later on i figured it out but either way he was getting popular before tosh.0 and all

that and a pd saw me open for him hilarities and says i'm open i want to start this radio show would you be interested i'm like fuck yeah i grew up on stern i loved arty lang i was like i'd love to do that shit so long story boring i get the gig and i meet my real dad i i was interested in meeting my dad you were okay because how old are you oh man at the time let's see early 30s middle 30s somewhere around there and what what was the spark that started getting you like i really want to meet my dad. Well, it's just like, well, my name's Chad Zumach. My middle name's Anthony. I'm half Italian, and nobody would ever know it.

I got brown hair, blue eyes. That's me. I'm that same way. Sickler's not Italian, but my mom is full blood. Her parents are, and my dad's family is. It's his father that's that European mutt. Holy shit. Yeah.

Yeah, it's the same shit. Yeah, sickle family. So Zumach is Polish and Czech. That's my mom mutt. Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's the same shit. Yeah, 65. So Zumach is Polish and Czech. That's my mom. My dad's Italian. So I'm like, I want to know a little bit about who I am. Do you know what his last name was? I do.

You don't have to say it. If you don't say it, I don't want to blow up a spot. No, no. But it's super Italian. But I also know who... Parmesan! It's Maggiano. Maggiano. So i'm like um okay let me figure some shit out it is before all this technology so i looked in

the phone book i figured out his real last name i call someone and it's my aunt had you ever met her never never it's his sister i just knew the last name. So I call him. I tell her the story. And she's like, oh, my God, this is great. She goes, let me tell you. She goes, this is what we'll do. Oh, she was all for this. All for it. She was excited.

Yeah. Oh, my God. My brothers, my nephew is reaching out. Yes. And she goes, this is what I'll do. Because I told her the story. I was like, they didn't know each other. I don't know the real story.

Oh, she didn't know him either. She knew who my mom was because they were married for like a month okay which is hilarious but it was she close to your dad by the way they couldn't keep it together for one month one month they're like we're done we can't do this he's like if i stay i'm gonna die so i gotta look out for my son dude we gave it a try man i mean it was it was good like we did what we had to do it's a month like let's so she said let me reach out i gave you all i mean i've really been busting my ass here these 30 days and stuff i've learned anything it's that i'm gonna be leaving okay well i can

i appreciate you putting all that hard time and effort into being a husband and a father you do here i'm just gonna move down the street how close was he well by the way before this is the other thing that blows me away is how close in proximity these people stayed to their families 40 minutes he lived 40 minutes everybody's saying this and you just live down the street it's like ah fuck you guys like they would you move to another state or some shit like my mom and like by, like, by the way, when I met my dad, I realized why it didn't work. There are two really strong personalities. And I could sense when they were in love, they were in love. But when they hated each other, they fucking hated each other.

And I get it. All right. So let's go back. You start wanting to reach out. You look in a phone book. You find your aunt. Yeah. She's like, this is fucking awesome.

She's going to help you. So she calls. She goes, that's what I'll do. Give me your number, your name. Give me your name. Oh, isn't that crazy? She goes, I'll call him and tell him what you just told me. I'll have him call you just in case there's some weird thing.

He calls me the very next day, interested. Like, what the hell is going on? Like, I would love to meet you. I didn't know I had a kid. I'm like, what? Exactly. I'm like, what? What? Exactly. I'm like. Like, there's only three Parmigians in Cleveland.

We have to be related. So, I'm like, yeah, let's fucking meet, dude. So, he's all for this. Yeah. And where are you going to meet? This place in Twinsburg, Ohio. What is it? It's like a bar.

I forgot the name of the bar i remember my aunt worked there for a minute because i i was thinking of like work my grandparents were buried across the street so i'm like let's just meet there oh you picked the spot i picked the spot okay and we meet and i see my dad for the first time and soon as i don't you meet your dad for the that's my fucking fucking dad. You can't. No doubt. The visual, the facial structure. He sits down. My knee bounces. He needs, like we have, like I'm looking in a mirror.

I'm like, he looks like I still haven't hit puberty. You're like, I was late, man. He has hair. I don't. It's him. No, you could see you in his face. I see all of it, man. It's just like crazy.

And he's taking it in. I'm taking it in. He can't deny it. I can't deny it i can't deny it and do you hug do you handshake what's the first thing you guys do you chest bump it's an awkward handshake you're barking you're doing a cleveland bro hug it's like hey how are you it's like welcome to the team this is my kid exactly it's so weird that's heavy we're talking we're kind to already roll up in

we're making i didn't see him i just sat at the bar i was the first one there so he came in yeah we started making small talk and and then it starts rolling he's a cool guy we're talking and he goes you want to grab some food i'm like yeah so we go to another place i don't remember we went it was like a applebee's something something chain restaurant oriented and we break bread and it's just like he's a cool guy we break bread. And it's just like, he's a cool guy. We go to Olive Garden. It's unlimited breadsticks. Break all the bread we motherfucking want.

You know, he's Italian. So we go to the Olive Garden. By the way, shout out to Olive Garden. Bread and fucking salad. You get them as a sponsor. Yeah, I'm sure they're ready to come home. Dude, they got to sponsor this shit dude that's dude they gotta sponsor this that's red bands olive guard does he have all he had all that shit off guard butthole and all that

stuff you gotta look it up all right all right so he's a cool guy you're having you're having a bite to eat and what are you asking i'm just like what do you want to know i'm making a small talk i'm scared you haven't asked anything I'm talking to him like as a comic. If you meet Chappelle, which I have, it's just superficial bullshit. It's like I don't want to get deep. I just want to build a bond and hopefully. You don't ask at least like you didn't know about me? Or do you call him out on that?

I'm scared. Yeah. I don't know what to say. But we're just getting along. He seems like a cool guy. And then we build this cool guy relationship for the over the course of eight years and then do you ever open up to him about your stepfather beating you and let him know that like his fucking kid was getting his ass beat and shit you know what that's interesting you ring that up because i wrote him

a letter when i decided to discontinue the relationship with your with your biological father my biological dad this went, this went quick, huh? Oh, this is eight years. Longer in college. Well, technically. He wasn't a year longer than your college. College was seven. My dad's relationship was eight.

Yeah, so I beat it. Way to go, man. I appreciate you stepping up. Put that time and effort in, man. I was putting more work into my relationship with my real dad than I was college. Eight years and one month. Let's count the month that he spent with your mom. Let's throw that in on it.

All right. Let's not cheat the man. If I'm working too hard at this relationship with my dad than I was anything, I'm like, I got to, like, I'm putting the work in here. All right. So you're building this relationship with your dad and you write your father a letter about the abuse from your stepfather yeah and i was like we never talked about the real i don't know why you left my mom or what happened i don't know anything

we still haven't talked about this how many years into your uh connection is this at this point you finally get brave enough to ask i'm at the i'm at the seven and a half year point whoa and i decided this long to ask any questions you just kept it like surface surface for seven and a half years because i found out i had two half sisters a grandma and did you get to meet all them were they all loving and welcoming very well the grandma was did they tell you right away i bet i bet'll bet it's your son's baby. Yeah. I mean, I couldn't imagine not knowing my daughter's baby. That would suck.

What did he do for a living? With all due respect to this gentleman, he had a lot of sketchy information going on. He seemed like he had some money coming in. There's something going on. I'm sitting on like 20 million of Korean currency. If it just could budge here man i'm telling it's gonna happen he always had some vague explanation of what he had himself doing but he was doing all right and i didn't question him like i didn't question anything you probably enjoyed having extended family and everything around you'd never had it before never had it had a grandma who loved

me unconditionally from out of nowhere and instantly instantly her her fucking yeah her baby's baby my sister's half sisters were skeptical like who the fuck is this guy he's moving in on my inheritance that's hot bitch yeah that's i think i have no hair this is the motherfucker from channel 16 right here i heard about this motherfucker yeah we, we got time Warner here. That's how we know him. So, like, you know, and I read him a letter. I'm just like, you know, listen, all due respect. I respect you.

I think you're a great guy. But I don't feel this father-son connection. You seem like a guy I know. I have a lot of questions, no answers. I want you to wish you the best. I got to move on with my life because I'm putting all the effort in this relationship. So you asked and got no response, and then your letter was, hey, I'm out? He did respond going, I had no idea you felt this way, but is there anything I could do?

I just ignored it because I just wanted to move on because I felt uncomfortable. I was in a weird spot in my life. Is he still alive or is he dead? I think he's alive. I would have heard if he was dead. Yeah. Yeah. And did you maintain relationships with your grandmom and everybody else my grandma tried to make me i'm sure the dad

work hardcore and i cut it off and she quit talking to me which breaks my heart because i love her i love her to death if this audio ever gets out there i love her to death i just i didn't i was confused i don't know what to do you know my mom wasn't really supportive and i don't know the situation between the two of them and the only person who can give you any truthful answers is your father and either one of them he said though let me what i can do for you you never want to just send it i might reach out did he respond to the letter about the abuse and everything he did yeah i What did he say? I had no idea. I don't know any of this situation.

I feel horrible if there's anything. He was very respectful. It was just that to everything. Yes. With all due respect to him, he was very respectful. It was like a general study. It was a straight up general. Let me blanket everything. I'd have got seven years out of my belt.

As soon as I read that general ass letter, I was like, that's why it became a general study. Yeah. It's in my family. So my mom, you know, and it was always a. So that's what I want to ask you. During this seven and a half, eight year connection with your father, did you tell your mom this was going on? And if so, how did she react to that?

I met, I told her about three years into the relationship. Three years. Because I was scared. I didn't know what the situation was. And she was somewhat supportive and like. Okay. Somewhat in a way like what like be careful or careful but you need to know i'm cool with it i still don't know the story to this day what actually happened between the two of them like i i only can bring up my own information of like they were such fireballs of personality that they they clashed and they hated each other.

That's all it was. That's all I could come up with. I don't know what happened, but it was a tough situation to deal with. And I don't know. So that just kind of happened. And then after, how long has it been since you disconnected from your father? It's been about eight years. And during this eight years, which is the length of what you had if you wanted to go back or reach out i'm curious because i

don't my mom passed if i can jump forward a little bit sure about a year and a half ago she battled a three-year can't battle of cancer and died and it was brutal but i was with her that's where it sucks ryan like i was there i didn't believe she was dying she had all these like willow like she had all these false scares but we were able to put everything to rest all our problems and then i got the information and my aunt told me listen you might want to go see your mom and i had a weekend at zany's in chicago i'm like i'll come back and see her and i was driving home i got the phone call she died brutal and so i had a seven and a half hour drive of just recollect uh thinking about everything and it uh it was seven hours alone with yourself thinking about that. You got songs coming on.

Oh. You know, you got, oh, my God. It was the most brutal drive of my life, the loneliest drive I ever had. And so I let a lot of regret set in that I wasn't there for. And that whole year I battled up and down. I struggled. And this is actually going to tie in a nice bow to where we are today. So January 10th was her anniversary,

and I was drinking like a fucking fish. Anniversary of how many years? Her death, one-year anniversary. Only one? She's only been gone for a year? Yeah. Oh, man, I'm so sorry. And my first birthday was December 27th without her,

and I remember Nate Bargatze, comedian, he came into town. town he goes will you feature me for me at hilarity's my home club and i was home i go yeah absolutely i was drunk all weekend i was just drinking but i wasn't drinking to celebrate my birth i was drinking because of the pain and i was getting out of control and when i get drunk i get i get stupid like i start shoplifting shop sex without a condom you name it i'm i've done that sober i don't feel so bad about it so january 1st i'm drunk it's new year's day and i'm at a liquor store and i just steal a bottle of titos i stole it it was like how what was what's your method i just put it down my pants right in the middle of the store yeah all the cameras yeah you went in wasted i went in

wasted i was like i want to keep this party going i've been drinking since last night and i put the bottle in my pants and i leave and i i already planned on moving to la i gotta ask you this so because i've never stolen anything like that i had a friend of mine that used have, he had the best method back in the day for cigarettes before they were behind the counter. We're out over on the other side, and he would go up, and whatever he was going to steal, it was always something you could hold in one hand. And he would grab two, and then he'd walk around the store for a little bit, and he'd go, I'm not going to get these. And he'd put one back, and then he would buy something legit. So it looked like, they'm not going to get these. And he'd put one back and then he would buy something legit. So it looked like they never knew he picked up two.

So it looked like whatever he picked up he put back but he only put back one. So he would then buy like a bag of Cheetos and then he'd steal the cigarettes. That's a good method. It's a great method. It worked every time I was with him. I watched it. But I had another friend that tried to steal condoms and we got caught in CVS. Dude, that was humiliating because I didn't know he was doing that

we were in a different row I think condoms are the number one thing stole I'll bet and I also read Preparation H I believe that too because people are humiliated to buy it embarrassing shit but he got busted and they called the security and walked us out my dad thought it was hilarious because he's

just like you know yeah you gotta pay a fine and move on yeah and they're like you can never come back you're banned from the story okay you know i think they put you on a list the mall's gone by the way now i think we were on a list but uh i would i would have always been like paranoid that if i put that down my pants and i walked out i would just the whole time i'm walking to the car i will be waiting to be tackled from behind yeah you know what i mean? Like, I'd be scared. They're going to be like, we got you, motherfucker. I just never had the balls to do it.

Well, that's the whole thing. I only do it when I'm drunk. I steal when I'm drunk. Like, I can't do it sober. That's like a thing you do when you're drunk. So when I'm not drinking, it's like my superpower is gone. Like, I can't fucking do it. You think you're invisible?

But when you're drunk, I'm like, fuck it. What's the biggest thing you ever stole? I stole a Ninja Blender. Yeah, we're going to come back to that. So you steal Tito's. Do you get away with it? No. I'm saying.

This is January 1st, 2019. This is this year. This is this year, by the way. So I'm being. New Year's Day, you're telling me right now. Dude, this is this year this is this year by the way so i'm being new year's day you're telling me right dude this is the fucking dude i'm this this podcast about honesty right sure okay cool so i'm drunk i steal this i did get away with it at the time and then probably about 10 11 days later the the liquor store puts the video on their Facebook. So you got away with it, Rob?

Nuh-uh. And I'm getting phone calls, text emails from everybody going, It's Hot Pits Jack! The guy from Channel 16 stealing Tito's, man. That's some shit that'll go viral more than anything you've ever done i know at this point i've done some shit in my life i wrote for the william shatner roast i've done i wrote for nikki glazer i've been on tv like it's like dude i'm in my 40s grow the fuck up but i'm drunk and i'm like what the fuck and i see this video and i don't know what to do

i'm like stunned and it's back home now how this video. I don't know what to do. I'm like stunned. And it's back home. Now, how do you see it? Everyone knows me back home. So they're sharing it with you. Everybody is on the radio back home. Like, I'm like known. So they're sharing the video.

And I'm like, I'm done. It's over. And I got a buddy who's a dear friend of mine who's an author. Like, he goes, I'm going to take care of this. He goes, takes care of it. They take the video down. Thank God. Oh, he went to the liquor store yeah and there's a morning show in cleveland it's it's like it's like that hack radio of all fucking you know we've all done that yes everything it's like the howard stern they play the video of me and they're like making fun

of me and i'm getting bombarded and it was almost like a weird how your year started this is how my year started and i'm already like fucking brand new year dealing with my mom's death anniversary of your mom's death that's because i was fucking going haywire i didn't know how to deal with it and i'm like it made my prop my life much worse usually does i'm like what the fuck man the only cool thing i had a silver lining is like i'm moving to la because four months prior i talked to another dear friend of ours brody stevens who talks we were talking on your balcony talks me into moving to la like you need to be put you need to quit doing the ropes i've been doing the road like a madman like okay cool so i you know brody who by the way just passed, he talks me into moving out here,

and that was my only receiver line. And so I basically, if anything, it taught me to quit looking at social media, like replies, ads, comments. It's so negative. Dude, I. Delete them, too. Delete that negative shit. I ignored it.

Yeah, ignore it, but if you're going to look at it, just delete that. But I used to look at everything like a psychopath. What are they saying about me? I go to Reddit and I'm like, I'm done. And oh, man, do not go to Reddit. We were fortunate. Look, the Crab Feast fans, they love it. They do.

And the doers out there, they do. So I've been fortunate. But I've been on some where I've seen some things. I mean, I see seen some things i'm like i see the subject and i'm like i'm just not gonna read it yeah i try to put it out there and hope everybody fucking loves and i'll interact with people on social media too i'll interact with the with the fans that create that they've created their own groups and things like that those are the really good people right um so i love interacting with them but i don't read like

you go don't even look at YouTube comments. Oh, man. Dude, I just want to. I wonder how Paul McCartney deals with that shit, man. We should give him a call. Or John Lennon. You probably have to get a fucking viral video. You steal some Tito's.

I got to call Paul McCartney and see how he deals with this kind of publicity. So, if anything, it was like almost a scared straight intervention. Like, I got to get my life together, dude. Like, what the fuck am am i doing it was a slap in the face i needed it's january january and luckily i've always had that guy in my corner who believes in me and i because i never had a father figure or a dad or a big brother but i've had jim florentine and sam tripoli who have been both great dude i can't even. They like me unconditionally, and they just go to bat no matter what. And they pull me out of these.

I go down these dark tunnels. They pull me out every time, set me straight. And, you know, I like to say I'm in a good place right now. You know, Brody passing hurts, but that was a tough period in my life. But I feel like I've come out better and i don't look at that shit anymore thank god so i'm in la starting a new chapter and that's why i'm here looking at ryan sickler right now good for you dude yeah um do you i want to ask you something about your mom sure do you oh i'm sorry do you have any family left that you're in

touch with from her side or even there's no one from your dad's side that keeps in touch at all i have a numb cousins aunts any great anything my dad's um brother's wife keeps in touch nancy really yeah she she's she's a good person she's an ant she's an ant and she she knows what's going on is your grandmom still alive your dad's mom is that maybe why you haven't heard she's no she's still i i would have heard i have you think that if you reached out tomorrow to her she would probably pounce on that i reached out two years ago and she kind of blocked it off really i think she's all about family and the fact that i put her turn my back to my dad that's old school italian it's old school time but how about your dad

turning your back to his back to the family yeah i mean like father like son what the fuck you expect it's a weird situation and i don't listen i don't wish any ill will on them i just there's it's not a clean if anybody can listen to this episode and what I'm doing right now, there's not, no matter what, life's not perfect. Nobody knows, it's not black and white.

It's so gray and you don't know what the right way to do things is or why people do the things they do. And I have no ill will. I wish it could be better, but you know, this is what it is, dude.

So, I hope I didn't bum you out. I'm not bummed out at all i've been i'm really enjoying this um i do want to hear about the ninja blender though fuck yeah dog i want to hear i want to hear a few have you ever been arrested oh yeah did you tell that on the crowd fees yeah i told you yeah i bet i got charged with d that's right the hall and o's breakingates. Yeah, breaking entries. Breaking entries. I was a degenerate, dude. Like, I think I would act out.

And it was all because of booze. Every time I'm drunk, I act out. I like to get reckless. Like, it's just fun. And maybe my way of, like, asking for help. I don't know. I'm just, I break out and do stupid shit. But, yeah, the Ninja Blender was 2014. I love how recent these are.

I know. It wasn't like a kid, a young boy growing up trying to figure himself out. It's like late 30s, early 40s, man. They ain't got me on a George Foreman grill, man. That's what you're going to say. Everyone my age has families and mortgages and children. I'm like, let's steal a Ninja Blender and see what happens. Did you do this as a solo mission?

What did you do? Oh, first of all, yeah. I didn't go to Kohl's with the intent of stealing a Ninja Blender. You're shit-faced at Kohl's? How's that happen? Where are you drinking? I was drinking all day. It was a 24-7.

Because I quit drinking for a year and a half because I was on probation from a DUI charge, and a friend helped me get sober. But I thought I could handle it. I'm like, you know what? I'm cool. I can have a couple beers. Nah. I've learned that, though.

I learned that from sitting next to people in the crab feast. They're like, I can have half a beer and walk away from it. That's me. Yeah. And we've had people sit next to us and say, if I have one, I'm going to have 20. And that's not an exaggeration. Yeah. I'm just going to keep going.

Yeah. Well, I could start off having one or two, then maybe three or four. If everything's good. But when she gets bad, it goes 20, 30 quickly. It gets weird. And that's what happened. I like like all of a sudden i'm drinking like a fucking fish i'm out of control i was at a party i just had sex with a girl uh shout out to whoever that was if you're listening respect and i'm like coals i don't even know how i got there ryan i feel like i was beamed down from i'm in coals drunk and i'm walking around coals forever

everyone's watching me because i'm drunk and i see a ninja blender i'm like coals drunk and i'm walking around coals forever everyone's watching me because i'm drunk and i see a ninja blender i'm like i need that shit and i steal it i walk out and i and i'm walking out slow i feel this how drunk i am i feel like the slower i walk out the more stealth i am meanwhile everyone's watching me i take two steps out coal secure you've been stopped by coal security this is why I don't steal. I got anxiety listening to this. I'm waiting for them to tackle you. They're like SEAL Team 6.

They surround me. How many of them? There's like three or four. I'm like, what the fuck, man? And they take me back in the office. One dude knows me from the radio. He feels bad. He thinks I'm down on my luck, which I am. And every time you fuck up, does the radio blast it just to clown you?

Dude, it's brutal. It's like TMZ in Cleveland. I'm like the fucking Andy Dick of Cleveland at this point. And it's like, what do you do? It's just like. What happens? That's a big box, man. But they treat me like i'm

tom broke off i'm a fucking idiot where are you holding the box that's a big ass i just walk out you're just holding it in your hand in my drunk mind i feel like it's fine but is everything going or they don't even need that because they're just right they're walking they're watching to you no sensors how many guys How many guys? Three or four. And I go back in the room. Are they in security uniforms? No, plain clothes. Kohl's got their shit.

Respect the Kohl's. You guys got your shit together, man. No disrespect to Kohl's, but I'm betting you were a pretty easy fucking find right there. That was an easy find, but they know how to police that fucking place. This guy just threw up in the Ninja Blender over here. Let's watch him, man. He's taking it. He's taking it.

I'm walking around for like an hour in cold strunk. I think I was at the Buffalo Wild Wings, and I just walked over, and I just said, all right. So the next day, I go to court, to court and i swear to god wait do you get arrested oh yeah they arrested yeah they really they really took coles brings the thunder dog so they call the cops and what happens they they cuff you and take me away they took me to fairview police department fingerprints mug shots. Her blunder. I'm looking at your blunder in your kitchen right now. And it will be here when I leave, I promise.

You're now in jail because you tried to steal blood. Well, I never went to jail. They just booked me. Okay. Yeah, I had a buddy come bail me out. You just sat on the bench until somebody came. Yeah, and then I was gone. But they cuffed you and put you in a cop car and drove you?

And I'm thinking, I'm like, this is all from a blender, dude. A blender. By the way, the payoff of this is going to be beautiful. So I go to court like two or three days later. That quick? Yeah, I had a jut uh they don't fuck around shout out kevin spelzi great lawyer in cleveland ohio and and i go to court and the judge knows who i am he's a fan of mine oh my god ah that's awful he's a fucking fan

and he sees me and he's laughing and i'm front of like there's people everywhere and i walk up there and there's like a local news beat reporter because at this point people still kind of know me i'm like oh here we go and he's like mr zumach i got just i would like to know why you try to steal a gingerbread for colton and i swear to god ryan i said this was my i said i go with yonder i was hammered it's got three. It's got three speeds. It's got three speeds. It's a great blender if you watch the info. You see what it does to ice. But I told him, I go, I was so drunk, I honestly

think I thought I was a ninja at the time. And the whole room laughed. And he gave me community cervix. How much? I don't remember what the court cost was. How much community service? What did he make you do? It was like 24 hours of like, I had to go to like a food place.

That's three days, an eight hour work? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You helped at a soup kitchen? Yeah, it was fine. I'll do the soup kitchen. That's good for you. And it was fine. But this is the best part of the whole story.

The next day I came downstairs. After that all happened, I looked on my kitchen counter. I already owned a Ninja Blender. I already owned a fucking Ninja Blender. I was so drunk. Thinking I needed a blender. I also owned a Nutribullet for the record. This is my problem with booze and depression.

This is my problem with booze and depression. What's the... What's your... I mean, you say you only do this on booze, so what's the worst drinking night you've had? Man, I've had a couple. I mean, that one was pretty bad. That was a bender. I was going through a tough one.

I've had arguments with girlfriends. And what do you drink when you get like that? Is it liquor? Dude, I'm not even a drugs guy. I'm a booze dude. I was a late bloomer into the game. I didn't start drinking until I was 23. Puberty, drinking, all that shit.

Everything. They come in late on all of them. But when I come in, I come in hard, bro. Let's bring it. Let's bring in the thunder. I got some catching up to do. It's catching up. It's too much catching up.

And then, no, I just started boozing, and I get crazy. I mean, I stole the bottle of Tito's. I stole gloves before. I stole a pair of Oakley's. I'm stealing some. I want to know what's your worst night just drinking in general. Well, I think the night I got the DUI charge in 2012 because it was like I was in a sponsored vehicle. I lost my radio gig from it.

And they blamed it on that, even though the car company was in my corner. But the host I was working with, he wanted me gone. We had a really powerful show. The radio show in 2012 was huge in cleveland we were like the ona shit like but when you get those relationships that's why i always respected you and uh jay it's like you always became friends no matter how happy as long as you were in college bro as long as you guys were together you i still see each other you hug oh yeah me and the other we carpooled to brody's um yeah memorial the other

night and jay even texted me uh yesterday and he said he's like i it's really nice that you know he just said some really nice things about respecting me as a comedian not just a person and he really liked that people saw us together there and i guess i made him i always wanted that brotherhood made me feel good like with the teammate i wanted that brotherhood and i never could get it like with my buddy mike in college or my the guy i worked with alan like i couldn't get a brotherhood going and we didn't it was always competitive like he's doing better than me i'm doing i always wanted the team to i was like a point guard in high school i wanted the team to do well i pass you score i don't give a fuck let's win the game so uh so when i got that

dui charge and i lost my gig and then by the way when i started that gig two people wanted the radio job it was me and a comedian ryan dalton from los angeles great comic when i left every comic in the fucking world wanted it really it was like a line out the door from reverend bob levy from the howard stern Show down to every Cleveland comic. It was a juggernaut. And anybody can dispute me on this shit. That was a fucking fact. So that was the hardest DUI drinking situation I've ever dealt with.

So maybe this podcast might be the rough one. I think you've been great, man. spewed shit you did how do you feel i came in here like almost therapy like i'm like i listened to a couple episodes i'm like i'm just gonna talk freely about my life and see what happens it's a weird time in comedy right now especially here in la with brody and you know i just did an episode with jamie and we talked a little bit you can't you can't not you know you just can't not right now so um i know some people just want to talk and and feel good but this is this has been really good dude i'm glad you came and did this and i i knew you would uh find the humor in that darkness so i appreciate that well i'm a big like i'm not trying to ball wash right now and i know you don't like i'm a fan of yours i think you're a fucking great talented son of a

bitch it's not even a thing like i i was a fan of your crap piece and i you know that i don't have to tell you that thank you so i i followed your career and i know you're you're doing great things right now i couldn't be happier and so for me to do this i'm like fuck yeah can i do this please yes i'm in. And your fans are loyal. Oh, man, my fans are the best. They are so fucking loyal and intelligent and funny. That's the other thing, funny.

It's my favorite thing about them is how funny they are. And you do these podcasts from time to time. You pick somebody up here and there. But my one episode, one, I got a lot of fans from that shit. So I'm like, fuck yeah, I'm coming to the honeydew. Well, thank you for coming on. And let them let them know again i'll plug whatever you want again just you can follow me on instagram i got my website and all that shit's chad zumach i'm sure it'll be in the description but i got my album white guy named chad create a album or a spotify thing spotify channel yeah and do it with it really helps yeah your album's great thank you name again get a hold of yourself get a hold of yourself fucking make two channels ryan sickler

and i want to be on the same channel can i be on the same channel i don't know if you can do that i don't think so yeah just make a channel for each artist in there do you add like people in there the way it works is you'll make a ryan sickler channel and then they'll say here's a track and then here are other comedians you'll probably like in there and then it'll rotate you in and out of them too. Who would you like to be on your channel? Oh, man. You don't have to respect me

right now. Tom Sigur, obviously. I'll tell you who I usually get paired with. Tom, of course. Burt, I get paired with. I get paired with most of the storyteller comedians is who I normally get paired with. But you gotta laugh. You tell stories, but you got laugh per minutes in your jokes.

I try. I try. That's the art of... I watched you at the Sycamore the other night. You got laughs. Man, that was a fun show. You had a good time. It was a good time. But yeah, add me on that shit and fucking follow Sickler and stuff. Yeah, thank you.

Five stars, right? Five stars. We still got five stars. Oh yeah, man. Come on. It's a Wednesday now.

It's a Wednesday for now. It's about to switch to a Monday. It's about to one Monday. Yeah. Uh, I am Ryan Sickler on all social media. Ryan sickle.com. Talk to y'all next week.