The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Christina Pazsitzky - ChristinaDew

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Christina P.! (Mom Genes, Your Moms House) Christina Highlights the Lowlights of her childhood, bad parenting, and a trip down memory lane. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: Upstart -Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to https://www.Upstart.com/HONEYDEW. Use our URL to let them know we sent you! Babbel -Go to https://www.Babbel.com and use promo code HONEYDEW to get up to 60% off your subscription Raycon -Get 15% off your Raycon order at https://www.BuyRaycon.com/HONEYDEW  Athletic Greens -Get a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase when you go to https://www.AthleticGreens.com/HONEYDEW 

La Jolla, California. I'll be at the La Jolla Comedy Store August 5th through the 7th. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I'll be there August 18th through the 20th. Austin, Texas. I will be there September 2nd through the 3rd. Get your tickets for those shows and all shows on my website at ryansickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, RyanSickler.com.

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to honeydewpodcast at gmail.com. Hopefully we can do an episode together. Alright? The Night Pants Nation tour continues to roll on. Thank you for your support in that as well. I will be in La Jolla August 5th through the 7th. I'll be in Philadelphia August 18th through the 20th.

And I will be in Austin, Texas. Labor Day weekend, y'all. September 2nd through the 20th. And I will be in Austin, Texas. Labor Day weekend, y'all. September 2nd and the 3rd. Now, that's the business. You guys know what we do over here. We're highlighting the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I am very excited to have this guest back on the honeydew.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the main mommy, Christina P. Y'all, welcome back to the Honeydew. Thank you. Now you. Hold on. Do you know what I always sing in my head now? What is that? It's one of those things that gets stuck in rent space is when you said to me, your mom's a borderline, right?

And I went. Borderline. And then you jumped right in. I was like, this is why. This is my girl right here yeah well we've known each other for what like 20 20 years we grew up together essentially and I was just saying before we started rolling I mean how much sillier do you think you've allowed yourself to get as an adult like Like, yes, the responsibilities are overwhelming, but I feel like I'm also like so silly now. All right. I have the perfect answer because it happened on the way here.

Before I answer that, plug your dates and stuff. Please, plug it, girl. Okay, I'm plugging myself. Washington, D.C. at the D.C. Improv, July 15th and 16th. And then I do Cobbs, July 29th and 30th. Seattle is already sold out. And then Cleveland, Ohio in August. Many apple tits in August as well.

Brooklyn, one night only, September 7th. Detroit, Chicago, Nashville. Hell yeah. New York. It goes on and on. ChristinaPOnline.com for tickets. Thank you. The Christina P on Instagram.

So on the ride here. Yes. I have Thank you. The Christina P on Instagram. So on the ride here. Yes. I have my daughter. Bring my daughter to work. She doesn't have her camp this week. So I'm bringing her here with the dog. And I have a banana for her in the car. And I go here.

She's like, will you unpeel this? I go, no. Peel the damn banana. And then she squeezes it and it opens up. I go, there you go. You just started it. Now peel it. She's like, I can't get it opens up and go there you go you just started it now peel it she's like i can't get it i'm like are you seriously weaker than a banana and then i just rolled all the windows down and just started screaming to strangers like is your child weaker

than a banana my daughter is weaker than a banana and she was like dad she's sucking down dad i'm like can't even open a banana back here. And I'm dying laughing. I'm like, does mom do that? She goes, no. Do any parents do that? No. And she dies laughing. She's like, don't do that.

And I'm like, you'll miss it. I go, one day you'll miss it. I said, I'll never forget your grandfather said to me the same shit. One day I'm not going to be here and you're going to miss it and you're going to do it to your kids. And she's like, no, I won't. That's what I said, too. My dad used to do shit, too.

I'll never forget. Matter of fact, it's crazy. We went to this concert, Run DMC and the Beastie Boys. Yep, my father. I know. What year? I told my friend Shannon. This was 87.

It was the Together Forever tour at the capital center um home of heavy metal parking lot and um it was beastie boys first run dmc second and i just remember my friend uh shannon my dad took us and i and his dad came as well and i was like you know what he's got a daughter too i'm like we just gotta remember to be that cool sometime you know what i mean like yeah they didn't know even know what the fuck rap was yeah you know what i mean but they took us and the whole time we're there i'm 14 there's this row of like just 18 19 year old college girls right here and my dad's just going hey girls this is my son ryan i'm like shut the fuck dad he's like it's ryan right here anyhow you guys think he's cute and they're dying lamb and i'm like dad

shut up dad try to enjoy this concert you dick did you score with them but that's the fun stuff because like my dad too had a really silly sense of humor he um he would buy those funny glasses with, like, the Groucho Marx stuff or, like, swirlies. And he always had nice cars. So he would get – he had a Jaguar. So people would normally look at the car because it was, like, a special one. And then he'd be like, put the glasses on.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, people would look at us and see. And that kind of stuff was fun or, like, a noisemaker that made the sound of a cow, like whatever. And we'd walk through like department stores with them. And that stuff is the best. And I taught my kids to meow lyrics two days ago. Yeah. I'm like, you don't need to know the words to the Beastie Boys.

You can just like meow. And they thought that was the silliest thing. And I don't know. That's the fun shit, right? That's the stuff that matters as a parent. That's the stuff that sticks. Those are the memories that stick. It's not the – I try to tell my daughter.

It's like she's got fucking – like we're doing great jobs as parents. My daughter has six necklaces. You know what I mean? Like all this shit. I'm like, Jesus Christ. And I told her. I go, you know, I got her some like little ring or something. I said, listen, don't become so attached to these. I want you to tell you now, because I know I was like,

the thing my dad gave me and he's dead. Like, man, get, fuck that. Like, remember the memories. It's not about this ring. It's true. If it ever falls in the ocean, fuck it. It fell in the motherfucking ocean. You know, laugh about it. Like, oh, there it goes. But I think you and I were so attached to material goods as a kid because it was like, when's the next one going to come? When? I'm like, we might not get another one of these. Hold on tight to this. The other day my kids were like.

That Nerf had dog bites out of it. It's still wobbling in the air. Like, we don't know if we're getting another one. Or God forbid you're slinky. Remember? I mean, the purpose of the sl or god forbid you're slinky remember you get i mean the purpose of the slinky is to buy another slinky yeah because those metal motherfuckers get twisted within seconds yeah you keep the good play that's done so i remember my parents being like oh we're

not gonna buy this knows no more slinky this is the end of slinky and just like what so i try to preserve the slinky yeah and then they made plastic ones after that. It's still fucked up. Man, that's some bullshit. It's still fucked up. We want two of them. We want to race my dad cut in half. He did not. Cut in half because they're too slinky. He could not just buy you another slinky. There it is. He was going to do it. You know what I mean?

Like Amazon, shit's here in two days. If you want a slinky, you had to go drive to the motherfucking store to get the slinky. Yes. And most parents just didn't want to get up and go do that. That's why I told my kids, they go, well, why didn't your daddy buy you another slinky yes and most parents just didn't want to get up and go do that of course that's why i told my kids they go well why didn't your daddy buy you another slinky and i said well back then you had to actually do something to get it get the motherfucking slinky the slinky store and who the fuck wants to go to the fucking slinky store so yeah telling them stories about so you grew up here in the valley and you're back right now in the summer and you said you've sort of been

going down memory lane a little bit. And I asked you if it was an intentional thing or if it's sort of like this calling or is it happening? Are you taking the kids? Are you doing some solo? Like what's going on? Yeah. So, okay. So we brought the kids out here just because the Texas heat is like super unbearable, you know.

So we're looking for places to get out for the summer. And I'm like, let's just go and stay in L.A. Like, you know, on the west side, it's dope. It's beautiful. So, yeah. So now I'm revisiting these neighborhoods that are like, you know, they're the same, but they're not. It's like when I drive through places in austin i don't have attachment to any of these locations so i'm free emotionally like i'm pretty on

whatever skates but because like every block in la has a different memory for me because i grew up here so like the other day for instance i went to the liquor store that my dad took me to like every freaking day of my like 9 through 11 years of life and was actually the first place i found mad magazine and cracked mag so i'm really grateful to this yeah it started my sense of humor and i agree oh this is dope and we talked about darby um at the seven bar i know exactly those toys you're talking about like not toy like off-brand barbies like why couldn't they just have like the real barbie i mean would mattel not want their shit to be sold? Now you get that shit at the checkout at Ralph's and stuff, you know? Oh, yeah.

It's too much. So anyway, I got to go back to the liquor store that my dad would take me to and buy liquor. And I've never done that before. In that store, you were always just a tag along, huh? Yeah, as a kid. This is your first adult purchase in that store? Yeah, and I was buying like hard liquor for like, you know, Tom and I, like some tequila or whatever for the whole summer. Like not just for today, just for the whole summer.

It was very surreal. And like it was closing a loop in some way. Like I'm back here, but I'm not the same. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm this adult with agency, but it still feels like I'm a little kid. It's like, I don't know. I'm closing all these emotional loops being home, I think. Especially with my pop around my dad.

Because this was his turf where I'm staying in LA was like where we spent a lot of time together. Have you gone to that bar where you used to dance with sailors? It doesn't exist anymore. What's there now? The Beef and Barrel. It was called the Beef and Barrel. It doesn't even sound enticing. And it was next to the Velvet Turtle.

Do you remember the Velvet Turtle? Well, maybe that was just an L.A. thing. It was like a highfalutin chain restaurant. Oh, really? The Velvet Turtle was where you took a bitch that you really liked. Oh, yeah. It was like a prom date or something. Okay.

All right. Velvet Turtle. I mean, it was fancy. Yeah, the Beef and Barrel. We used to go every Friday, sometimes on a school night, too. On a school night. Can you imagine me taking my daughter out right now? I couldn't imagine kicking her to the bar with my kid right now on a school night can you imagine me taking my daughter out right now i couldn't imagine kicking her to the bar with my kid right now on a school night i'm just taking her to a bar

just taking her to a bar just sit here and play on your tablet yeah but i didn't plan a tablet i was just like dancing and and meeting people and like running around did your dad take you to bars or your mom my dad wasn't a drinker like that at all. My dad was always working, you know? Yeah, he had to support you. And honestly, too, like there would be, if there was a beer in the fridge, it'd be there for a while. I'm the same way. I've had Coors Light in my fridge for, I'll drink them here and there, you know what I

mean? I'm just not a huge drinker. Yeah. But it would be in the fridge forever. Well, that's good. Yeah. My dad used to have these beers. I don't know if you ever saw them where

when the bottle was cold, it was a picture of a girl and then when you drank the bottle, you got to see her titties. I don't know. Is that St. Paulie's girl? I don't know which one that is. Where did you even find this? He's like, I made my own labels.

He's in there for hours. I made these. I made these. When it's cold, our titties come out. What a pervert. Could you imagine that's his life's work? Like, I got to put the titties on the label. Oh, the stuff you see way too early.

Way too early. And that's another part like i'm i'm having like flashbacks to that stuff because you just you know you go on with your life you don't think about it or like you know the rubix cube in our house that had naked chicks on every side and you're just like oh yeah oh yeah we didn't have that yeah we just had the colors i don't think he had much um sympathy to the fact that I was a little girl. You said that to me before, and I do agree with you. But also, even if you're a little boy, that's a lot early on.

But especially a girl, it's a lot. It's so overstimulating. Way. You don't need to be meticulously looking at dicks and balls and trying to line them up properly you know i mean like oh that's that's not the right color yeah yeah and also like there was a lot of playboy magazine laying around in just laying around just like like i would take a dump and look through playboy when i was like nine or ten and like i thought it was fun to find the bunny because one of his girlfriends were like oh you

don't know there's a hidden bunny and i cover a very well like fucking highlights magazine remember like find the gallon over here do you know that's one of those things I said in my head wrong for years? What? Goofus and galant. I would say it galant. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

You only said that in your head, not out loud? The first time in my life I've said it out loud. Right now? Right here. This is a Honeydew exclusive. Then how do you know that was wrong? I don't know, because you just said gallant. Wait, you're telling me all these years of your life you've never said it out loud?

I've never said it out loud. I've never said it out loud. What if I'm wrong? But I feel like it is Galant. What if it is Galant? It's Galant. Goofus and Galant. Maybe he's French. They never spoke.

We don't know. Oh, shit. Yeah, Goofus and Galant. Galant. Because isn't the word gallant? How is the word gallant spelled? I think gallant is G-A-L-L-A-N-T and it means like the opposite of goofus. Goofus.

Yeah. Yeah. Asshole and not asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Douchebag and not douchebag. Very well-mannered person. Probably a good person.

That's what I taught you, your manners. Like goofus, goofus just leaves leaves his trash everywhere galant picks it up right yeah that's exactly right galant stupid like the mitsubishi yeah like the galant the mitsubishi galant um so yeah so i'm like i'm having like memories do you ever have those phases where because i don't remember there's huge chunks of my childhood I don't remember. And I was talking to Miss Pat about it a million years ago because I wanted to write jokes about it. And she goes, you just need to start thinking about it. Like just try to remember and then it'll come back to you. do and then i was able to write jokes about certain memories i've had and then but you know it's like a it's like an onion like i feel like recovering from childhood stuff is just it's years it's like okay well first i can learn to feel something without being terrified of feeling something okay and now i gotta go like figure out how to have the tools to deal with everyday life

okay and then okay well now i'm gonna go back and deal with the past trauma it's like oh god i learned how to swim okay i can swim now now i gotta learn how to swim and shit okay let's dive into that shit right now i gotta learn how to hold my breath and not swallow the shit it just never ends and this shit just keeps pouring it in don't they i know it is crazy it's crazy i've done it i I did it one time. Did what? Not too long ago. When I went home, I did a tour of all the places I lived. And it's a lot. Yeah.

And this was just Maryland, too. I just did. And then I came out here and did it out here, too, because I've lived in a bunch of places here, too. But Maryland, I did all of them from the city all the way to the county, back to the city, my grandmoms, like all these homes. Jesus. They all these homes. Jesus. They all look different. You know, they all. Look different, meaning they are different relative to each other or look different to you now as an adult.

Yeah. The second one. The second one there. Yeah. The later. The later. The later. The later.

The later. The later. So what do you mean they look different as a grown-up now my dad when we were kids bought two two years we had real christmas trees so we went out to this little farm and you dig up the roots and the burlap bag and then you put it in your stand then you just water and keep it alive for a month and then after you're done you take it out and you plant it in the ground that motherfucker's a pine tree well he put two of them out there these this was a basement uh main floor and then two more stories this was my favorite house before it all went downhill

and those trees are both taller in that fucking house now wow it's been i mean shit 40 years like it's crazy. And then this little shitty apartment we lived in. We lived in this one apartment, Christina, in this place called Westminster, like you have here. But we called it West Finkter. Why do they always have to name these horrible places something regal? Yeah. The Collins Manor.

And you're like, it's a shithole, guys. Yeah. Fucking sucks living here. There's a regency in there. And you're like, get your a shithole, guys. Yeah. Fucking sucks living here. The regency in there. Get your fucking regency out of here. But this hallway, I misspoke, but I didn't. This apartment was a hallway. So when you walked in, it was just this tiny little square.

Okay. And then another square here was, this was the living room, this tiny little square. Smaller than this room here. I would say this room, if you split it in half, was the living room this tiny little square smaller in this room here i would say this room if you split it in half was the living room and kitchen and then it was a hallway that just had bedrooms cut off of it it's kind of like i'm talking about yeah even you saying it is making me sad like i want to cry because i know what you're i know this this is a shit that i grew up we don't have heat or at least my mom's not paying for it so you know what we have kerosene heaters no why do they always go cheap on heating and cooling here's we're in fucking sixth grade my brother's

in like third we're in charge of pouring it into the thing kerosene kerosene okay on a carpet floor and a tiny ass i'm we're in charge one's holding it i'm guiding it in or whatever and then you gotta pump it in there and you fill up whatever and then you gotta pump it in there and you fill up the base then you fucking light it and then we're boys you know we're doing yeah my mother's in the back we're standing over spitting on it watching it sizzle and shit like gum on it and stuff just touch it i dare you to touch it of course and then hold their hand. And let me guess, flamethrower. Oh, dude. I mean. Kerosene heaters we had.

I mean, how much more dangerous was it to get? She could have burned the whole fucking complex. The whole fucking thing down. And you guys, rather than just pay the heating bill. Yeah. My dad would do the same thing with cooling. What is it with dads and air conditioning? It's like they feel like it's like this crime to pay for AC.

My dad got a fucking swamp cooler have i talked about no i don't know but i know what one is they're massive i see i didn't know one was to move to california they're like that's a swamp cooler i'm like a what uh-huh so it basically i guess there's cold water and then it blows the air from the water so basically what happens is your carpeting will get a nice damp layer of liquid so you wake up at six in the morning and you're like everything's wet and damp and moldy and you're like we could just just pay for the ac you're ruining the carpet you're ruining the house from decay you just gave me a whole flashback of something I forgot about. For many people, getting financially healthy means dropping the weight of credit card debt.

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Have you ever had an attic fan? It sounds just as stupid as a swamp corner. I had never heard of it until then, and I've never heard of it again. I'm like, who hustled you into this thing? So my dad, when my mom and dad split, my mom wouldn't put fans on or anything, so we hung a thermometer in the house, and it would get well over. It would get 102, 105 in the fucking house, okay? So my dad's like we didn't

my we had just box fans like right here and there was always a piece missing so it's like i hate box fan to me is like i still have one of my apartment now. I fucking got it at CVS. $20. Box fan means you're poor. Like, when Tommy was, he loves them. I'm holding on to it. Get them out of here. It reminds me. It reminds me of the worst times in my life of fucking box fan.

God. God. So they get this fucking attic, man, Christina. And I'm like, what is this? And I'm like, what is this? So it's one opening in the ceiling. One. Like a centrally located

opening that has slats. And you flip the switch on and there's like a fan up there. A massive power fan that's supposed to suck out all the hot air because hot air rises. Our shit went from like 101 to like 99. you know what i mean

like that was fucking it like all that money you shouldn't have my dad gave up like i'm just getting such where right because in theory that sounds lovely but it's never look there's a reason ac is put in every fucking normal person's house yeah it's a first first world thing guys you're paying the extra you're not paying the thing guys you're paying the extra you're not paying the extra money you're paying the extra when you try to short you know shortcut it and can i tell you that my husband um taught me that lesson because i think immigrants i'm just making sure my kids are okay fine uh but there's always immigrants always shortcut you know it's never just like oh uh tires on my car need to be replaced.

Okay, so go to this guy. I know this guy. He's good. He's not going to fuck you over. He gives you this. It's a used tire. But it's still. Right, yeah.

It's always something. Four different tires. Yeah. So, like, my husband's like, just pay the money. Get it done right. Like, that's the American way in my mind of doing things. So, my father, one time time some creature died in our attic here in the valley and it was a summertime oh no hot as shit august maybe a raccoon or a possum

and we start to smell it and the there's flies and everything and in the bathroom you know they have like a square cut out and then you can push it up and go in there i go we'll call animal services or call somebody to come get rid of this creature. And he goes, no, no, you don't need to fucking pay for that. He takes a glue gun. I already like the glue gun. Glues the square shut. He didn't even go get the animal out?

Why would he do that? Yeah. No. And just sealed it shut. And like eventually the smell and the flies went away but i mean like a month later yeah i mean could you imagine no could you even like how much could it have cost him really to get i don't know i don't even know who you call but there's somebody that's gonna control yeah you got a dead fucking atom on your house but wouldn't you i would pay thousands of dollars

to have that thing removed. A thousand dollars. If you're going to do that, call me. And you all need that much, call me. I'll come get that. A rotting animal in your house. Yeah, I'll kill it for you and take it out. A rotting animal.

Now looking back as an adult, you're like, yeah, I would have paid. How much could, maybe $300, really. I think that's reasonable. Yeah. And back then it was probably not even that. $100. Yeah, there's a guy coming out for $100.

He'd probably want to eat it. You know what I mean? Sure. Sure. But it's wild when you think about these shortcuts. You're like, we weren't that destitute. We weren't destitute. I tried.

No. These days, it was all, you're right. It was always the shortcut back then. Like, how can I save a buck? This fell off a truck. You know what I mean? This is gently used, you know, that kind of shit, you know, shortcut, shortcut, shortcut. These days, I don't, it's, I already know for me, it is the only way for me is it's the long road. Yeah. Always. And it's always the better way anyway. is it's the long road yeah always well always and it's always the better way anyway i'm fine with it i know my lot in life but the thing i do look for these days is no shortcut but a loophole oh yeah i'm looking for the loopholes you know what i mean like i'll take the long road but if somebody's like hey real quick you know i'm like give me a thank

you yeah i'm taking it because that's what's the loophole yeah that's what america like white american whatever that's how i picture it in my head that's what they do it's not you don't break the law you find the loophole in it and that's how these fuckers do everything everything that's what i learned yeah and and everyone has a that's what i keep telling like all these guys like get your money right this shit the s corpse and all exists because rich people figured out how to fucking get tax breaks and shit. We can do that too. Yeah, loophole. Yeah, just do it.

Well, everybody utilizes them. When you think of even like the Orthodox Jews, they have their Sabbath, but then they'll rig the lights to turn on themselves or something like that, right? Like everyone does it. Oh, you want to hear a funny story? You'll appreciate this. When I first moved out here, one of my early jobs, I was like a concierge and front desk at Beverly Prescott. It was called, it's the Lowe's Motel now.

It was at the corner of Pico and Beverly Will. Oh. It was the little road that went from Wilshire to Pico, but it was still Beverly Hills, okay? And that neighborhood right there is very Orthodox Jew. So their Sabbath is sundown Saturday to – I mean, excuse me. Yeah, Saturday to – no, Friday to Saturday. Yeah, Saturday is the day. And they're not allowed to use electricity.

You know, I don't know any of this. I'm learning all of this being in this neighborhood. I'm just this fucking idiot from Baltimoretimore i have no idea about orthodox anything well our front fucking door to the hotel was a push and then it'll electrical catch it and carry it this poor motherfucker pushed that door open and when he went to go and, he was like, is this electric? We're like, ah, yeah. He was like, oh, he went crazy, right? So I calm him down.

I'm like, look, man, that's, yeah, it is fucked up. He's like, I go, but do you need help? Because it's him, his wife, and his two kids. I'm like, do you need help with your lights and everything? He's like, yeah. So I go up. And he's like, just give us a minute. So I go in. Because I'm thinking they'll light candles, something.

Nothing. He's like, just give us a minute. So I go in because I'm thinking they'll light candles, something. Yeah. Nothing. So I'm only looking at the fucking light out in the hallway, which also there's electricity right on the other side of this door that I can see. You know what I mean? So I go up and I turn all their lights, but he makes me work my way in to out.

I can't see shit. I trip over their fucking luggage. Listen, I ate it fucking hard i go downstairs and the next day this motherfucker gave me 20 tip he did he felt terrible he felt terrible that's good at least he tipped but all of it is like you say it's with a little fucking wink and a nod like yeah you don't have to but yeah all right so what's going on with the trip like what's happening to you as you it's kind of wild dude like like i said so i've been in you know uh therapy for like what 12 years now and it's like you just like i said it's like process process process and then i think i'm like i mean i'm coming to grips with that you're just never

a hunter you're never you're just always gonna struggle or not struggle but you're always gonna have whatever it is that you're dealing with it's always gonna be there so i'm having you know uh i think i'm i'm having like memories come up now that i haven't remembered or i don't know i don't know do you believe in do you believe in repressed memories like fully repressed, where your brain just – Yeah, yeah. What I was going to say when I went on that tour back home, I pulled up out in front of my friend's house. And his dad's the one that went with my dad to the concert. His mom was my mom growing up.

His little sister was like our little sister, and she died in a car crash. And just we spent every fucking day there after 16 with no parents like we're over there swimming hanging out like we were their kids and i pull up out in front of that and they're it's long gone you know they've moved and everything else and i fucking lost it oh i lost it i couldn't believe like i was embarrassed like get, get bitch. Get yourself together. Like, it went for a while. And I was like, shut up. But it kept going. Wow. And I was like, man, I didn't know I had this even fucking in me.

And I started remembering everything from the smells. And you know what I mean? Just like, whoa. And you're seeing this image and this image. And it happened right there. And yeah. Dang. I believe there's more to come, too.

Like, I don't think all my memories are, I don't know if unrepressed is a word, but I think I'm someone just down there kicking it, waiting for their call up. But then I heard something when someone was like, yeah, your memories aren't even really real over time. Every time you remember something, it changes slightly. And especially with age. It's like, I i mean what is expectable expectable you know what i'm saying like what what is within rights within reason to remember from your childhood and then what is you fabricating what is i don't know but then i do know that my you know your body reacts you have that uh somatic memory i don't know if you've ever had a panic attacker where

you you're it's your body's reaction to something it's so uncontrollable so i believe in that obviously yeah because that's tangible but it's kind of a mind fuck you know because you're like the other day i had a panic attack and like i don't have them frequently i still i haven't had one in i don't know gosh ever ages so i was had one in, I don't know, gosh, ever, ages. So I was like, whoa, what was that? Where were you? I was sleeping. And I never had this out of a dead sleep.

Were you having a nightmare into it or no? Don't remember. Oh, you don't remember. So that's how maybe freaked out I was from the dream I had had, that it had traumatized me so much or something. So that's what I was asking you. Since you're in a different place now, you think that place had something to do with that memory? Yeah.

There's something happened earlier. You don't get that in Austin? No. Because you don't have any attachments. You sleep peacefully down there? Yeah. Do you really? Yeah.

I have recurring dreams now. I have recurring dreams that I'm, it's the same one over and over that i'm 20 years old i don't have my husband i don't have my kids i don't have my career and i have to figure out what to do with my life it's it's being 20 again and not having what i have not having my life and panicking like being helpless again um that's it that's the recurring dream do you have one too i used to and it's gone now that's good it used to be um and i know a lot of people have this one but i would wake up well in my dream i'd wake up like oh my god i forgot that one fucking class i haven't been to that one motherfucking

class and i gotta hustle to class on a campus that i'm no longer familiar with and when i get there it's english but they're using protractors and shit. I'm like, how much did I fucking miss? And I have this whole panic. And then the panic also of it then turns into having to move home to save money. Oh, God, yeah. And I can't do stand-up on a fucking Wednesday. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that finally went away, though though but not long ago yeah yeah they come and they go for me or or like but with stand-up do you ever have panic about stand-up like i've dreamt that i don't have any material like i dreamt that i had no material and but i was able to riff and i like riffed through it i was like oh that's an interesting that's good that means i'm competent and one thing but um but yeah i'm I'm like I mean I feel like my brain is in between worlds this week because I'm like trying to look I'm trying to remember the past because obviously

something is in there that's like hey we're ready I'm ready and I don't know what it is and I'm actually in way waking pretty happy I'm pretty chill I'm very calm here so I'm actually in my waking pretty happy. I'm pretty chill. I'm very calm here. So I'm just kind of letting it happen. I think in the past I would be more anxious about it. Like I got to fight. I got to, I got to, you know, and like getting keyed up. And then you just realize like, it's okay. Just chill.

Go through it. Look, that's what I learned through that EMDR therapy is none of the shit that I am feeling is because of anything right now. Yeah. None of it. It's all not fake, but it's all imagined because of what do I want to say? What's the word I'm looking for? Pre-programmed emotions and feelings to all this other bullshit we have.

pre-programmed emotions and feelings to all this other bullshit we have. And because this feels familiar, I'm going to use these old feelings for this experience. And it's not the same fucking thing at all. And it's like, no, no, no, no. Like I got scared of flying and I was like, now I, but I quietly sit next to strangers and I say to myself, everything's fine. This is the shit I say. The plane's going exactly as fast as it's supposed to be going there's not one fucking thing you can do but sit right the fuck here and let these people

fly this motherfucker safely to where you're going and then boom we go what caused so you didn't always have a fear of what caused it was stella almost being hit by a car. And it just unhinged anxiety that had been waiting inside me forever. I never understood what people meant when they were like, oh, I feel like I'm having a heart attack and all that. Oh, man. And then fear of heights came along with that, too. I still think that's a reasonable one. I don't need to be on top of a fucking mountain looking over the edge. I think if you're not scared something's goddamn wrong yeah but but i went to therapy and i can say

that em and drew recommended it um i can say it works because i fucking sleep on planes now and i knew i had to get it fixed because all we do is fucking fly i there was no way i could do this job without flying at some point and i had to go get it fixed and it worked that's interesting because i've had um i've had high anxiety after the birth of my children that's part of my postpartum fun is getting hyper vigilant and anxious and ocd um so anxiety comes up when you're dealing like like you said stella almost getting hurt or harmed by a car yeah but it's interesting that you chose you didn't choose but the unconscious went to flying which is central

to what you need to do to earn a living like it was like you do you know what i mean like also the thing that i'm craving most in that situation is being able to control her safety. And I'm on a plane, zero fucking control. I can't walk up to a cockpit and be like, guys, move the fuck over. Let me just fly this goddamn thing. I want her to rest, but let me take care of it. So it's centrally located or factored in my living. And I can't do anything but sit there helplessly and eat some motherfucking peanuts and shut the fuck up. Yeah.

You know what I think to myself whenever I start to get scared of flying? It's like most likely the pilots don't want to die today. Yeah, yeah. I mean, unless something's wrong. Nine times out of ten, they don't want to die either. No one wants to die today. So I'll rely on that, hopefully. Wow.

The mind is fascinating, no? Like, it'll create stuff. It'll, I mean, when I was younger, I used to have, like, when I was in a bad relationship, I would have stomach problems. Like, I would start obsessing about, oh, my God, I ate something, and I'm going to get diarrhea. And then I would get diarrhea. Isn't that wild that the mind controls? Oh, yeah. No doubt.

Fuck. Have you had that where you create illnesses and stuff? Yeah. I know when Stella's mom and I first split, I went through physical hell. I first split, I went through like physical hell and I, all that stress and anxiety and worry and just letting my mind run loose about what's going to happen. And, oh man, it almost fucking killed me. I was in and out of the hospital for six months. I clotted everywhere on both legs, found out I had a disease, ended up with kidney stones, all this shit back to back to back to back. And I know it was all stress and anxiety related. And I was 42, which is the same time my dad, age, excuse me, my dad was when he died.

And I remember the fucking, I know I had a clot. And they were like, you're fine. And I'm telling you, it's like an elephant fucking trying to squish your chest. And I laid on my bed. It was a Sunday night. I was crying and I gave Sunday night. I was crying. And I gave myself up. I was like, this is it.

I couldn't take the pain anymore. And I must have just fallen asleep or passed out from it. And I woke up and I was like, all right, you're still fucking here. Let's figure this shit out. And then I started my slow journey into health. Damn. I wrote out a five-year plan for myself of physical health, of career, of all these things.

Good for you. To make sure. And I've checked them all. I checked them. Buying a place is the next one. That's what's up, homie. That's the next one. That's what's up.

See, because here's the thing. I feel that you and I, or everybody maybe, you are not taught this in school. And if you don't have parents who are aware as well and who can model this for you, this is what successful parents teach their children. And I'm not even saying it's overt. It's just like, hey, this is how you function. Is that if you don't take charge of life, life takes charge of you. And you must be so deliberate with how you conduct your affairs from your health, your mental, the physical.

What am I going to eat today? How will I go about the world? What is my attitude going to be in relation to this? What am I going after five years from now, ten years from now? I can tell you that I used to write myself letters when I was 28 years old and I was like, all right, this is it, man. I got to be a winner. I can't be no fucking loser. Like I'm going to write myself a letter every year and I'm going to open it on New Year's Day. This is the shit I want to have happened by then. All the things like you just, you write five things, seal that letter up, put it away.

And then I would open it on New Year's Day. Have I accomplished what I've wanted? And I would read every book about what I want. Every book in the world, Napoleon Hills, Think and Grow Rich. The Magic of Believing is a fantastic book. And change your mind. Because unfortunately, when you grow up like we do in the honeydew lifestyle, it's not that our parents maliciously did anything. It's that they weren't able, they didn't do this. So, we have to learn this through outside sources, through people that have already learned this stuff. So, read the books. The books exist for a reason. Read everything.

Everything. Watch the videos on YouTuber. You know who's great? I loved Wayne Dyer. I read a ton of that guy. I like Tony Robbins in small doses. I could tell, you know, all these people. TED Talks are a great thing. Pick what resonates with you.

Yeah. Go where, and also like I would read about what I was curious about, which meant that's what I needed. Like I remember I had a lot of stuff around money. Before I had money, it was always like rich people are evil and i don't know if i do i deserve to ask for this and that i don't know if i deserve and explore that look at louise hey she uh she has a great talk about prosperity it's on like itunes or whatever like i don't know look into all this shit man because it all needs to be

corrected before you can succeed, I think. And we were laughing because these people that say money doesn't bring happiness. Yeah. Lies. Yeah, it fucking does. You've never been poor, motherfucker. I'm going to tell you something right now. If you lived anywhere where you could get a $5 bill out of an ATM, you know what I'm talking about. Money will bring you motherfucking

happiness yeah yeah all your bullshit's still there but it makes life easier yeah the fact that the the power of money the the blessing of money is not having to think about money that's it period yes i don't give a fuck about stuff is great i love stuff too the best part is to not think about it yeah praise allah if i fall down the fucking stairs and i break my ankle i don't have to go Stuff is great. I love stuff too. The best part is to not think about it. Yeah. Praise Allah. If I fall down the fucking stairs and I break my ankle, I don't have to go, I don't know if I should call the ambulance. That's going to be $5,000. Right, right, right.

Yeah, I could get help right now. That's it. Yeah. That's where I'm at. I'm going to crutch to the ER. I still live in an apartment. You know what I mean? I still have tandem parking.

Okay. I don't have central air. I don't have central heat. Okay okay i don't have central air i don't have central heat okay i don't have stainless steel appliances i don't have any of that shit i got an old ass apartment in los angeles but i'm happy i'm happy as shit but let's see if we can't get a house next year god damn you will but this is the process. You will. It's on the list, but I knew where it would be on the list, so it's the last thing on the list. Okay. See?

But you put it last. You put it there. Yeah. Health and everything else was in order. And also, I went and did the right things. Life insurance, living will and trust. I took money that I didn't have and invested it in my daughter, myself. You know what I mean? That like that to me is a good investment

yeah um instead of just going to fucking buy crypto and some bitcoin and shit lately i've been listening to a lot of ymh two bears where my mom's at and a little bit of the honeydew and it's been great and one reason it's been great to listen is because i use my raycon wireless earbuds to do it raycon's everyday earbuds look, feel, and sound better than ever. With optimized gel tips for the perfect in-ear fit, these earbuds are so comfortable and they will not budge. Trust me, I'm all over the place in them. They don't move. Raycons give you eight hours of playtime and a 32-hour battery life. Raycons are priced just right. You

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about my special mom jeans. And he goes, I heard that you spent a crazy amount of money on your outfit that you made Netflix buy it. And then I heard that you spent a crazy amount of money on your outfit that net you made netflix buy it and then i heard that you spent a crazy amount on the music on the licensing and i go yeah i don't see it as spending money i see it as reinvesting i i love stand-up comedy more than anything else it's my pride and joy and if i have the resources if if netflix gives me x amount of money and they're gonna pay me x amount for the special i just took it out of that money and put it back. So reinvesting in your stuff, to me, that was more important than like, great, here's another, you know, whatever amount that is so I can go buy another fucking bracelet. I don't give a shit. I'd rather make something amazing and reinvest and reinvest and reinvest.

That was bomb. It was fire. Hair was good. So much. I'm telling you, you are. You're a straight up looking mob wife these days. Trying. Trying, bro. That outfit was bomb. It was fire. Hair was good. So much. I'm telling you, you are. You're a straight up looking mob wife these days.

Trying, bro. That's the way it is. But I hear you. I've been saying lately too, if I could give any advice to my younger self or any younger person, fuck comedian,

like scared money doesn't win. I wish I would have took some money I had back then that I paid a credit card with or whatever and put that into myself. That's where I would put money first is invest in yourself. You are a commodity. You are your own business. You are everything.

So I agree wholeheartedly in taking the money because you can look at it like, all right, I'm not getting a step up. All right, well, you're taking one back to take two forward. That's right. Or four or five forward, depending on how you invest that in yourself. That's right. Short-term gain versus the long game. I'm always playing the long game. It's always the long game.

And can I tell you? So this is interesting. So remember how I was saying that you end up teaching this stuff to your children unconsciously? So my son Ellis and I were playing like a Tetris type of game where you line up the blocks. And he's just scoring 10 points, 10 points, 10 I go no no no watch this and I make the blocks and I stack them so that you make one big score and he goes oh you want bigger score I go there you go kid see so it's like you just want the 10 points to 10 points or you want to go for the fucking money bro that's going to be a longer game and it's riskier. Definitely.

You get fucked before you even hit that. And it takes longer and yeah. Takes patience. That's it. Yeah, dog. You figure it out.

So what, where else are you going to go on this tour of Christina's childhood? Yeah. You've been to a liquor store? Have you gone by any places you lived?

You know what? Now that you say that, I think I'm going to do that because there is, I think that's what I have to do next. I think that's what I have to do next. I think that's what I have to do. That's what I did. I went to all of them.

And you went alone? Yeah. Cried alone in front of – I pulled out like a – then I'd leave. Some of them I didn't like. Some of them I did. Most of them I didn't because I was there because everybody died. You know what I mean? It wasn't necessarily the place.

It was the reason I was in the place that I didn't like. Does that make sense? And I hated living with my grandmom, but I mean it because of this. My grandmother's house, and I imagine this is for a lot of people, was this special place that smelled a certain way with the sauce and everything. And then when everyone died and we had to go live with her, it that that sense of magic so to speak you know what i mean it just became i'm in here every day now and and we're very much like your dead animal up in the ceiling i no longer could smell that spaghetti sauce even though it was sitting right on the stove and everything and that smell of her place just became and every day i don't

smell anything anymore you know got used to it and i hated that i got used to uh living at my grandmom's house i hated that the magic was gone yeah because it was every day and it was also out of necessity that you were there yeah it wasn't choice yeah no that's a different thing true oh how heartbreaking at least well she was nice to you? Oh, she was. Even my mother, who wasn't, was like, you had a great grandma. I'm like, thank God. Well, how did your mom end up so mean? Because that's not her mom.

Yeah, that's my dad's mom. Yeah. So what was your favorite house growing up? None? There's got to be one that's the least worst on the list the list yeah i'll tell you what is a good one okay we we lived on again across the street from another liquor store well this is my mom and i stabbed out a town home off of ventura boulevard and it was a town home and i thought we'd made it because we lived it was an encino and i And I was like. It's the Beverly Hills of the Valley, girl. It sure is.

And I thought, well, I'm in the big time. Anyway, it was great because I liked the location. I was close to Ventura Boulevard. And I could buy cigarettes at the liquor store when I was 13 if I wore my bikini top. I shouldn't be laughing. That's ridiculous. Nuh-uh. Yes.

13 looks like eight years old. You know i mean in a bikini top but now with these big old hangers because i had big old titties when i was 13 oh you did i had huge tits already i dated that girl in high school yeah she was like my dad stopped playing with me in the pool yeah no shit she yeah, no shit. He stopped throwing me this summer. I'm like, yeah, probably hurt his back. Yeah, so I would wear, I had a pair of go-go boots that I had bought on Melrose. I wore go-go boots, black, shiny go-go boots, a skirt, and a bikini top. And my stepsister and I discovered that that's how I could buy us cigarettes. So it was a great time. My stepsister and I got into so much trouble

and we just smoked clove. That's what I was buying, cloves, colored cigarettes, menthol cigarettes, and just getting into trouble in the Valley. And I liked that house. Yeah, that was a, cause it was freedom. I was a teen and it gave me access

to going to Hollywood. You know, I could take the bus out of the Valley and go get into trouble. So it was great. Yeah. How about you? My favorite house was that one I was telling you about. Grandma?

No. Well, so this is one where my dad put the Christmas trees. Yeah. So that was in Carroll County in Eldersburg. And now that I look back at it, so my mom's mom lived with us for a little while. But now I realize, because my mom was a house mom, housewife. My dad's driving an hour plus each way to which is now Reagan, but National Airport back in the day, D.C. And she ends up having an affair because she was bored.

So she gets a job at this little convenience store and ends up having an affair. And my mom's mom was living with us because there was no way in hell they were affording that nice-ass house back then. And then it all fell apart by, like, fifth grade. That's when we got stuck in the apartment with the hallway. Then my parents reconnected, thought they would try to work it out. That lasted, like, ten seconds. And then after that that my mom bounced somewhere with our dad like okay so my least favorite would be the one he died yeah i would

say that would be my least favorite yeah i will say that um whenever i hear these stories about mothers with multiple kids and they're like yeah she was bored and then she had an affair. Like, I get it. Raising kids is sometimes very boring and tedious and monotonous. But how does these bitches have time to have affairs? Like, how do these – I don't even have time to watch Stranger Things. I've been dying to watch episode three. I'm dying to get into it. I don't have the energy, the stanima. Is that how you say it?

Stamina. See, I say it wrong because I'm at your mom's house. And like, how do these bitches even have time? Well, I can answer that. Yeah, please. They didn't take care of their kids. That's the one thing you forget. That would explain it.

When you just abandoned your kids, you got all kinds of time to put stuff in your pussy. Time to put stuff in your pussy. Time to put stuff in your pussy. All kinds of time to put stuff in your pussy. Time to put stuff in your pussy. Like, I don't have any time to put stuff in my pussy. Barely any time. Tom and I barely have time to put stuff in my pussy. I'm saying, man.

I know. Who are these women these men having affairs like whole side families and shit like i hear these stories i'm like how how how are you having a whole side family yeah oh side family that's another thing side family why would you even want another family more responsibility it's insanity yeah you're right these people aren't doing their fucking jobs dude i don't know i don't even have time for anything like this kind of scandal but you realize like your mom did that to just blow up the family like she wanted out so this is your way of and that's why people do that shit they're acting out they want to blow it up to get out

yeah if they didn't if they want to not get caught they wouldn't get caught either that's the other thing i guess i mean but doesn't everybody get caught in the sooner or later because they want out they want out you know the guys and women who are don't want out and are doing it you don't even know they're cheating on you that's terrifying but i like that no i don't want to think about it like that's terrifying they're like yeah i got this I like that. No, I don't want to think about it like that. It's terrifying. They're like, yeah, I got this.

Can you imagine? I just can't imagine. I don't know. It's so scary to me. Like to have a family with someone and you finally trust them and then they just like destroy you. I mean, I think it's a big part of the reason why I'm still not married or anything. I watched all that. I'm like i think

i'm good me myself and yeah yeah watching like man you don't want that you don't want me like i'm good over here god yeah because i i've seen i've seen on both ends men just get destroyed by divorce and women get destroyed it just destroys you, I think. It is like it's worse than death because that person is still here and is rejecting you or whatever. Well, most people who get divorces still love their kids. Of course. Yeah. Most of them fight over who's going to get them.

Not you take these motherfuckers. No, you take them. It's a little different. There's different classification of divorce. There's the non-messy divorce that everyone, these fucking people to still vacation together. That's all white people, by the way. That's why people should. It's definitely white people should.

Yeah. I don't know. Just vacationing with each other. I just remember my mom was so crazy that, okay, I think what happened, because she had custody of me, so I was with her during the weekdays and my dad on the weekends. I think what happened was, like, she would get annoyed with me and then frustrated that my dad had all this freedom to go party and whatever, and then kick me out to go live with him. Like, here, you raise this kid for a while. And then she wouldn't talk to me for like two months and i'd call like i'm sorry whatever i did mom i love you and she

wouldn't take my phone calls no yeah she would like punish me for like one month two months and then i'd go back and live with it was so traumatic but like what yeah your wires have to be so crossed as a mother to not want your children it's just the drive to my children it's i mean you see me even during this podcast i'm like what's going on where are they i love them i love you i gotta go you know it's like constant i can't so i think how sick our mothers um were are yours is alive. Yeah, mine's dead, thank God. It's so much better when they die. You're going to be so relieved. It's so good.

It's so good. I don't know about that. She's going to watch this and be like, I love Christina. It's your husband's favorite. Your husband's her favorite comedian. I told him when i was on two bears with him though that i think i might have i might have bucked the trend and i might be his mom's favorite now how about that how about if i'm charo's favorite he goes i'm definitely not my mom's favorite i was like i might have got it i might have switched it up yeah definitely um all right so this i want

to ask you this before we get out of here mommy as a mom a little not just a mommy but as a mom like do you ever find do you coddle do you over correct do you find yourself doing things because i know i do and i know as a parent better than anyone that what coddling can do uh be detrimental yeah because at any moment all this goes away. So I'm doing this thing with my daughter now called Big Girl Summer. And we're doing all kinds of shit we weren't doing before. Oh, I like that.

Yeah. And she likes it. She's into it. So I'm trying new things. You know, it's all help yourself. Yes. Clean your own plates. Set the table.

I'm not cutting the tops off of strawberries, berries anymore. You eat that shit up to the thing and throw it away. I'm not peeling bananas. Okay. I'm done. It's your turn. It's your turn. Yeah. Okay. This is really interesting. You bring this up. Yes. So I've created a drawer in the house that this is help yourself summer again. Here's cups, here's water, here's the plates, here's the snacks. Go fuck your mother. Enough. I don't want to get anybody any, I stopped getting water i stopped getting water permission and then go help yourself yeah i'm not getting into any any more water no more and i think i so i over correct emotionally i'm only i don't know what the correct emotional response is so i'll ask my shrink like hey this happened should i have said this or you know i try to learn that stuff because i don't know all the time but i'm actually

uh i train my kids to be like warriors too. That's why I love that these little fucking snowflakes right now, these little pussies that need their fucking safe space, trigger warnings and your fucking food allergies. Well, guess what? I'm raising my kids to be warriors, savages, and they're going to eat your fucking snowflakes. I watched a special.

I fucking, peanuts are like the new Al-Qaeda. Yeah. It's insane. And do you know that was created? Of course it was. Peanut allergies were created because we didn't give children peanuts to build tolerance. We took them away. The doctor told me the same thing.

Seafood allergies, a lot of people, if they just would have let them eat it, they'd have been built up a tolerance and they'd be fine. Because that's life. You take the poison. That's why when you say, I'm going to go look at all the childhood places, do you know that most people wouldn't do that? Of course not. That's poison.

That's the worst parts of my fucking time. But you must go through it to get stronger and better and fitter and better and better. You got to sit in your own shit for a while. You can't just get up. You got to fucking look around, smell it, all of it. And then I don't ever want to be here again. And then, yeah.

I went and sat in front of that house. I haven't had the balls. Yeah. I daydream about this one. Knocking on those doors and asking if I could go in and check out the house. I was going to ask that. But I don't think I'm ready for you. I also don't want to walk into a stranger's house and be like, Oh!

You know, just like, This is where I gave her CPR and she died right here at the top of your steps this is the bedroom we found my dad in right now you know what i mean like could you imagine ruining these people's lives this is where we made love for the first time yeah we had our first child in this house we're doing a cpr on her down here oh god yeah wow i really don't think i'm ready for that i could go into one i didn't give a fuck about but here's the other crazy part is um a guy that i went to high school with we were friendly i didn't wasn't really friends with him um probably because

he moved into our house but he moved into our old house and i believe his parents are still there and he's reached out and said yo my parents are still there if you ever want to go through and that was my favorite one that's the one that all you know before all the shit went to go there went to hell go there that's the the good one I should probably go I should take Stella there yeah I ooh I should do that that's interesting I'm gonna reach out

yeah I took yeah I I did take a tour of my my apartment life when I was this was a few years ago and that was pretty cool

cause that was actually nicer than I thought it would be cause I was like this was this place was freedom for me as a four to

you know eleven year old with my mother this place was freedom for me as a four to you know 11 year old with my mother this place was freedom and I could just run through these different courtyards there was Israeli people Persians fucking Armenians gay people everybody teenagers and I got to know what the world was like in this small community and I had very good times there actually but uh yeah other places we'll see I have to take Tom with me, I think, to visit some places. Because I want support. Because I will fall apart. Yeah, I'm going to cry no matter what one I'm in.

There's no way I won't. My grandmother's and the one my dad. I think my grandma's will be the worst, actually. The one my dad died in will be bad. But the one my grandma. Because that was grandma's house. Like, that was where all the holidays were. You know, more, I would say, core memories in that home than any other home

crazy dude oh i can't imagine just sobbing in front of these people we're big fans of the punk right here guys can you just take a picture lay down over there like you're dying on your back, on your back. Would you imagine? Remember when 60 Minutes used to profile celebrities and then they go back to their house? I mean. Yeah, yeah. Walking out front.

We're like, no thanks. Just don't show it. We don't need to go back there, do we? It's terrible. I love you, Christina. I love you, too. Thank you for having me on your show. Thank you for coming on and doing this.

I hope the journey goes well. Not just the local one, but your life. Yeah. It's going great, Christina. I love you, too. Thank you for having me on your show. Thank you for coming on and doing this. I hope the journey goes well, not just the local one, but your life. Yeah. It's going great, though. I think we're on a good path. Listen, considering what you and I grew up with and what we made it into, I'd say that that's the success. Yep. We won. We won because there's only two ways, right?

Up or down. And it's so much easier to go down. Down's coming. At the end of all this, down's coming. Well, right? Up or down. And it's so much easier to go down. Down's coming. At the end of all this, down's coming. Well, down comes for everybody. For everybody. You may as well try. Carlotta Wood, my great friend who also does the voice of the show, said to me on here one time a quote that she had learned.

And it's, I'm glad I don't look like what I've been through. Ooh. And I'm like, fuck yeah. I look way better than this shit. I mean, I don't think I look great. You do. I'm just saying, I don't love myself like that, but I look way better than the shit I've been through.

I know that much. I'll take that any day. You know when people are like, I don't feel 46. I feel 20. I'm like, no, I feel every day of 46. I don't. Do you really? Yeah.

You're still, no, you're still doing all that dumb shit. Emotionally. Fair enough. But also, we're much more mature and I feel enlightened than our parents in that generation were at this age. And also at 46 back then, they looked like they were in their 60s. They dressed, you know what I mean? I know. I was talking about this on Where My Mom's At.

We Googled pictures of women in their 40s and the 1960s and 70s. And yeah, you look like you're half dead. You're dead. That truly was middle age. Like, done. Done. We got a long way to go. That's what's up, homie.

I love you. I love you, too. Promote everything again, please. ChristinaPOnline.com for tour tickets. Check me out. I'm coming to select cities. I don't go everywhere because I got them kids. But check where my mom's at, your mom's house, all that shit. check me out I'm coming I'm coming to select cities I don't go everywhere because I got them kids but check you know

where my mom's at your mom's house all that shit I love you I love you I just did wear my mom's I don't know what's coming out I wonder which one's

going to come first we'll see I don't know thank you for having me on always you're the best I love you I love you

as always ryansickler.com on all social media ryansickler.com wait that's not even right I said it wrong ryansickler.com ryansickler on all social media. Ryan Sickler dot. Wait, that's not even right. I said it wrong. Ryan Sickler dot com.

Ryan Sickler on all social media. Thank you for your support. We'll talk to you all next week. Bye.