The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Eleanor Kerrigan

Episode Date: January 16, 2019

This week my guest is Eleanor Kerrigan. When you're one of 10 kids born and raised in South Philly by a single mom and you're dad splits when you're eight, you're destined to be a HoneyDew. I love talking with Eleanor. She feels like family, just not to her dad - we can't say the same about her sister Karen. Eleanor is a remarkable woman. Her strength, courage and desire to forgive and love is nothing short of amazing and I can honestly say the same thing about this episode. Josh Adam Meyers joins as guest co-host. This is what The HoneyDew is all about! http://TheHoneyDewPodcast.com

You're listening to The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. It's Wednesday and we're doing it over here at your mom's house. I am your host, Ryan Sickler. You can follow me on all social media at Ryan Sickler. My website is ryansickler.com. My new album, Get a Hold of Yourself, is out now. Available on iTunes, Apple Music, Amazon, Google Play.

It's on Spotify. It's on Pandora. You can create your own Ryan Sickler channel. And it is being streamed in heavy rotation over at Sirius. You can go over there and check it out as well. And if you use iTunes, you want to help me out for free, throw up that five-star review. I'll be hitting the road a little this year.

Northern California, I'll be coming up to see you guys at the end of the month, doing some really cool shows at the Barrel Brothers Brewing in Windsor, California, the Griffo Gin Distillery on the 1st of February, and the Old Growth Cellars in Eureka, California, February 2nd. I'll be in Phoenix in April. This summer I'm doing some shows with Tom Segura, so excited to get out on the road and see you guys, see some old fans, meet some new ones.

And I just want to say thank you right now to all of you who have messaged me and hit me up on social media email i mean however you've done it i'm seeing them i'm having a hard time keeping up with them but i'm gonna get to you uh i really appreciate you all i always have and i'm really excited about this new chapter so uh wherever you listen to podcast however you listen to podcast please subscribe rate and review The Honeydew, and hang with me for a few more weeks. We're closer to getting set up at your mom's house.

You still have two shows on the feed through January, but once we get into February, things are going to settle down. And I do have a little news. The plan at your mom's house is, I love saying that, is to move the audio release to monday and the video on tuesdays you're gonna still get a little tuesday here in the crab feast eventually so we'll get it all settled out it's a new show it's gonna move around once we get planted it's like me when i was a kid just moving the fuck around uh we'll get there and uh while we're gonna get there we're gonna

have fun doing it so uh the website the honeydewpod.com, that is thehoneydopodcast.com, where you can get all info related to the Honeydew. You can email me at honeydewpodcast at gmail.com. That's honeydewpodcast at gmail.com. And you can follow the show on social media. Follow on Facebook, The Honeydew Podcast podcast and twitter at honeydew pod and i know i just gave you a lot of info and that's all on the honeydew podcast.com sponsor for the honeydew this week the honeydew is supported in part by bluechew.com all right let's let's be real basically

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That's Blue, B-L-U-E, Chew.com, promo code HONEY. And this week, speaking of honeys, I got a honeydew for you here. Look, this show is all about highlighting the low lights, as I've said, and finding light in darkness, and more importantly, laughing at it. And there's no one I could think better to bring in this week than one of my favorite guests of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, first time on the Honeydew, Eleanor Kerrigan. Welcome to the podcast, Eleanor.

Hi, thank you for having me. Thank you for being episode three of the Honeydew. I'm number three? This is number three. All right. Yeah, you're part of the trifecta up top. That was my baseball number. Was it?

Mm-hmm. Well, I want to introduce you quickly. We'll come right back to that. Eleanor Kerrigan is our guest. Jimmy Josh Adams back as guest co-host this week. The KOF, the King of Fleece, y'all. The King of Fleece is sitting over there. And I want to go, well, let's go ahead and plug whatever you'd like to plug out of the gate here.

Anything you want to promote? Yeah, I'm at the House of Comedy in Minnesota. Minnesota. You have to say it like at the House of Comedy in Minnesota. Minnesota. You have to say it like that when you do it. Minnesota. January 17th through the 20th. And then Brokerage Comedy at Brokerage Comedy Club in Long

Island, New York, February 15th and 16th. Obviously I wrote it down. You don't know your dates, but shit. I'm doing the Impractical Jokers cruise, too, the first weekend of February, but I think that's already sold out. Oh, you're going to have a great time. I did it last year.

It's the best. Oh, that's right. The jam. Yeah, yeah. It's the best. That's awesome. They have a fucking cruise. I know.

I've done Kid Rock's cruise. Have you really? That's pretty wild. We'll talk about that. This isn't going to be as wild, but it gets wild. It gets good. Dude, it's just i'll tell you right now man that boat is enormous but the buffet is bigger than one whole deck like the pool is

small as shit the buffet is like three stories dude and there it's full every day every day every second i'm bringing my sister karen with me so we're going to get in a lot of trouble. Yeah, you are. Hell yeah, we are. You're going to have a great time. Social media, podcast, anything you want to throw out. Website. My website, Eleanor J. Kerrigan, has all my dates. I got a bunch of, I'm coming to Kansas.

Forget what the dates are. You're going to have to look it up, man. I got all kinds of shit happening. I love it. I'm trying. I'm fucking trying. All kinds of shit happening. I love it. I'm trying.

I'm fucking trying. Well, I wanted to bring you on because, you know, actually, Josh recommended you for the crowd. Yes, I did. Back in the day. One of my favorites. I'm a huge fan and I just knew she has the stories. I knew it.

He's like, I've been listening to this bitch talk about all kinds of shit. This bitch is fucking batshit crazy. I mean, you're. Exactly. You're South Philly. Right. You're one of 10 kids which blows me away so here's why does that blow you away because that i feel like that was the generation before ours

like my my grandmom and all her brothers and sisters were one of like 10 12 and even a couple of them died at birth and stuff oh yeah they were having they were always just keeling off yeah i mean they were born in the house and then the parents died in the house i remember being the viewings in the house i remember being a and going and seeing my great-grandmom laid out in their parlor oh i never did and then that night they gave me a cookie monster to sleep with and i just burned in my fucking brain like i was like this is not gonna fucking erase everything that's going on downstairs. I don't think Cookie Monster is going to be protecting you. God damn. Not like this.

A lot of monsters in this place. I don't think one killed Grandma Cookie. That was her name, Grandma Cookie. How many cookies did Grandmommy eat that they gave you? That's frightening. I think that was just like a fucking kids thing they had in the house. And I was like, I was probably like, what's going on over there? She dead over there?

And they're like, here's Cookie Monster, man. Go to bed. I was like like, what's going on over there? She dead over there? And they're like, here's Cookie Monster, man. Go to bed. I was like, huh? That's almost as bad as my brother Tommy doing the Alice Cooper Welcome to My Nightmare act out. Holy shit. But I mean, one of, okay, so here's what I wanted to ask you. How many other people did you know that were one of ten siblings

that you grew up with? We had a few of those. Really? In Philly? In South Philly? Right in the neighborhood in the neighborhood that's a thing to do yeah dude 30 of them are all related right on this block right here are you serious i swear i don't know anyone that really not that i grew up with just from having been on podcasts and things people come on they say they're part of a large family but that was more of, I just felt like it was a generational thing that had slowed

down into the threes to maybe fours and fives. The Irish were still doing it, though. The Irish were still pumping them out because in my neighborhood, the Italian kids, they would have maybe four, six. The Jafaglions had six. That's a real name. The Jafaglions. six. That's a real name.

The Jafaglions. How's that real? Can I tell you something awful? My brother. More awful than that last name? Exactly. You have no idea. So they had six kids, right?

Three and three. The oldest. How do you say it again? I want to get it right. I want to get it right. We can't mess this up. We cannot mess this up. It's about to. I want to get it right. I want to get it right. We can't mess this up. We cannot mess this up. It's about to be over if we get this right.

Prime out. I can't breathe. Oh, my God. Their names were Defaglion. Come on. So my brothers, my brothers. Don't do it. Hold on.

Don't do it phonetically. Time out. Don't sound it out. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to because my brothers used to pick on him. And they used to say, the oldest one, his name was John. He was called John the Fag because his name was Jafag Leon. So they always called John the Fag, John the Fag, John the Fag, right?

They tortured this guy, right? But he was really gay, poor thing. But it was in his last name. And you know how that happens in the neighborhood. So they just always said it. So he went to the prom with my sister Kathleen and his mother Millie Jafaglion came to

Wait I can't understand what you're saying. You're saying Juh or Duh? Juh. J-A-H Juh. Jafaglion. So wait. So his mother comes to 3G's mother. It's 3G. Don't get it wrong. His mother comes to- 3G, motherfucker, okay? It's 3G. Don't get it wrong.

His mother comes to my house, and my mother looks at her, my innocent, sweet, naive mother looks at her. Who doesn't curse, you said, by the way. Who doesn't curse at all. I don't know how she had these 10 children that are just ruthless, evil, calling people the fag when that's not their name. And she looked right at Millie and went, hello, Mrs. the fag. She did?

And she goes, oh, it's Jafag Leon. My mother was like, it's not the fag. I thought he's John the fag. And my mom's not even hearing it, and she keeps repeating, he's not John the fag. Brutal, brutal people. But, yeah, we have some great names. Jafag Leon's had a big six kids. Then it all got Irish. Oh, my. Brutal. Brutal people. But, yeah, we have some great names.

Jafag Leon's had a big six kids. Then it all got Irish. Then it's the Gallaghers. Jimmy Jafag Leon. Tony Jafag Leon. It got Irish. It was the Duffies. That's how I know Michael Duffy, but not that Michael Duffy. Okay, I was going to say.

There was 11 of them, and then the Gallaghers had 11. 11 kids. 11 and 10. Gallaghers had 11. 11 kids. That's 32 kids and three families. And the Lewis's had nine. What? 41, and the Jafaglions had six. 47 kids between the four of you. All on the same block for real or neighborhood?

Neighborhood. You're the neighborhood. Jafaglions were close because we were in the Italian area. We had the logies that lived on my street and they were the mormons and they had but you laugh at your fact i mean that's a it's they had they had five kids and we thought that was excessive and you've got you've got like we got nine over here 14 down the street everybody's staying close to my god there were three of us at my mom's. Did they ever fight? She was out. Did the families ever fight?

Us against each other? Yeah, just like one group of like a clan of 12. No, but we fought within our own. Yeah, dude. This is South Philly, man. Don't act like it. I bet it's happened. You the shark? Wait till you see the Jafaglio motherfucking 3G's, okay's okay you know if we're gonna

go on names i'm not even gonna bring up the beyond coolies i guess what that's a real last day beyond cooley my fave ronnie beyond cooley is my best friend people always he's beyond cool he's beyond cool so you're raised by a single mom i mean we know that from and if you haven't heard eleanor's past crafty episodes definitely give those a listen they are fucking all-time classics i love doing that show you guys are so much fun not that you guys aren't oh yeah josh is a great asset thank you i'm you for having me. I'm enjoying him. So, I mean, how? How does a single, like right now, you look back on that. Can you even answer that question?

How does a mom raise 10 kids by herself? I think of it all the time. I don't have kids, obviously. I'm not a good, I can't be trusted. I'm just going to say that. So I'm not supposed to have kids. I don't, I'm just not good at that. Even though'm not supposed to have kids. I'm just not good at that. Even though I'm great around kids, I would never bring stale chocolates.

But I called your ass right now on that re-gift, Josh. You got to tell everybody now. You got to tell everybody. It was mid-July, like 98 degrees. Josh was coming over for some free crab as usual and he's like i'm bringing a gift and he comes over with this uh valentine's for your daughter's candies for my daughter but i see him get out of the car and immediately i know that this is it was excessive it was it was not excessive it was excessive there was like a little tooth pillow It wasn't like a steroid heart

It was like a little It was a little Standardly gifted box of chocolates Is what the fuck it was You're making it sound like it looks like Lou Ferrigno's heart Who's Lou Ferrigno? It's Lou Ferrigno

Not Ferrigno That sounds like somebody out of her neighborhood You Lou Ferrigno, bro. Not Ferrigno. That sounds like somebody out of her neighborhood right now. You Lou Ferrigno? The Hulk? Oh, you live next to the DiBaglio? He added some vowels. All right.

I wouldn't like it when he's angry either, but. Anyway. Anyway, I see him coming up with these things. I'm like, this asshole's trying to push some old ass chocolates on my daughter. That's hilarious. And we open them up. And just like, this asshole's trying to push some old-ass chocolates on my daughter. That's hilarious. And we open them up, and just like you said, they're all white. They're crusty. They're crusty as fuck, dude.

It looked like somebody put their thumb all in them. He said it was terrible. No, they didn't. I hate this guy. Stop that, dude. No. Try to see what Josh was like. Is this a caramel?

It's a Whitman sampler. It was. That was already sampled? Shit's terrible. Shit. Shit was. That was already sampled. That's terrible. Shipman samples. A shipment sample. I thought they would be fine. I didn't think there was anything wrong with them.

I think I had them in my cupboard. They were sealed. Your cupboard? Yeah, that's what you call it. What is that? That's a cupboard? No, it's a cabinet. Cupboard's the same thing.

I grew up in a row home. And my lazy Susan. i don't think i've ever heard my mom go go to the cupboard not unless we were in a wooden cabin or something do you say dinner or supper dinner that's what i say you say jeans or dungarees oh who says dungarees what are you john coger mellon camp dungarees? I don't know. No. Jeans. Just asking. All right. I like that. I don't say dungarees.

I'm just curious. I'm dinner over supper. I'll never say supper. I don't say supper. You know, what was the other one we were talking about a second ago? Good Lord. Sorry, man. The weed smoke got in me.

What weed smoke? There's none in here. It's your vape blazing over here. Are you vaping weed? I'm not vaping weed. He's nonstop vaping. I don't, whatever. Let's get back to your mom.

So my mom. Raising 10 kids by herself. whatever let's get back to your mom so my mom raising 10 kids by herself and what and let's talk about that because your dad your dad left they did a divorce what happened they were obviously they were going through it because i remember as a really young that my dad would sleep on the couch so obviously some shit was going on but they were very good at keeping it quiet like kind of classy if you will you know all right, let's not get yelling in front of the kids and stuff. And he would just go to the typewriter store. I know I say it with a straight face, but you know what I mean?

Yeah. He would just go to the typewriter store and sometimes sleep there. So what was that? Did you? Is that what he owned? He owned a typewriter store. It was my grandfather's. I think I talked about this, but my grandfather invented tools to for

specifically to fix typewriters you mean like patented and everything and never marketed them never just his own shit yeah just kept him in his office and get my home road key this s is all jammed up and never that little javagno boy's got a report to do tomorrow, man. He's a procrastinator, you know. What if he called the key to Jafaglio, man? That's the home road key, right? That's the home road key. That's the way that boy came in. I helped him.

The Jafaglio's been keeping his family in business. Thank you to the Jafaglio. You know how many reports they do? So he would keep them there and he'd be like, no, that means all the business will come here. And I'm like, no, you could market them, sell them. We could make real money. Never did it. So my dad had all these great, like people would come to the typewriter store because you couldn't get these anywhere else.

And then this guy he did business with kind of stole everything from him so it kind of screwed my dad he patented everything after that the dude i think so yeah oh that's it was shields billy shields his name billy we all know billy's biggest name in typewriters i feel like shields is the office like they did they start they started moving up to computers and all that shit. And your dad never did either, right? No, no, no. Yeah. But he basically stole his business from him. Oh, that's unfortunate. So my dad wasn't making money.

And I truly believe, this is terrible. I don't know if it's because, I don't know, years of thinking about it. But we would see my dad sleeping on the couch. We'd be like, oh, shit. Things are bad. Then we'd just steal the money that fell out of his pocket, like the coins or whatever, and then his cigarettes. And he would always have a soft pack, and he would sleep on them. You'd steal them?

Oh, yeah, we loved it. I started smoking when I was nine. Nine years old? Holy shit. That's what happens when you're a honeydew. They can't even pay you. You know who taught her how to do it? Billy Jafaglio.

Billy did? Was there a Billy or a William? There wasn't a Billy. No, Billy. Just John, Sal, and Mark. That's right, three boys, three girls. Who were the girls? Joanne, Diane, and Roseanne.

All hands. Where's Roxanne? Roxanne. She changed her last name. They're really great people. I married when I was nine. I hate that word. Just to shake this fucking thing. They still live next to my mom, so they're going to be nice.

Yeah, they still live right in the same neighborhood. But they're good people. I see them all the time. I see them when I go home a lot. Joanna and I grew up together. But there was one of us grew up with one of them. Like, there's always that. I got you.

You guys were on the same age. Yeah, there's always like, oh, it's Johnny. She grew up with Johnny. And what number are you i'm number eight order number eight i'm my favorite number but here's the thing when i would steal the cigarettes i was little so they would make me go in because then if my dad woke up you know and he would be like oh it's that one you know like he wouldn't hit me he wouldn't hit me. He wouldn't hit me yet. Oh, he never knew our names. Brown hair with the blue eyes. Get over here. No, no.

He calls us boy and girl. And I'm telling you, he doesn't fit in in today's society because we have a few they's in our family. Or them. What is the non-binary? What do you call them? Them? They? I don't know.

Whatever. I'm just saying this. He knows my sister karen's name that is it every one of us she number one my mom said when my sister karen was born that my dad picked her up and he said i don't know if i have enough love in my heart for two women and she swears he transferred his love to her and never gave it back how awful in the? In the hospital? In the hospital.

It's still fresh out of your mother's body. Char! It's over. I'll tell you what. I think this is over. Listen, ladies. It's over. I'm going to take it and put it in this one right here.

That's all I got. He loved my sister. Like, Karen was his prized possession. His first daughter or first child or both? First daughter. First daughter. Tommy was the first. But they're the top two. Is he equally loved? Tommy? No daughter. First daughter. Tommy was the first.

But they're the top two. Is he equally loved? Tommy? No. Who's the most loved boy? None. Really? Karen's number one. He likes Jimmy now, but he only likes Jimmy because Jimmy's the fixer.

Jimmy can fix anything. Yeah. Except for the family. Well, facts. Facts. But that's it. And Karen's what number born? Three? Two. Oh, three two oh two okay yeah she was number two the third one was a another girl but you know the love was already ain't no more sap in this tree

move on what we literally went to his house he lives in rehoboth now in delaware and we went to his house over christmas and he my sister karen was with me he gave her a box a platter all kinds of stuff gifts everything i'm standing right there i go dad i can see you he goes i didn't know you were coming girl girl oh my god nothing that's it yeah i was like dad and then i go you not even gonna offer me a patel nothing like what the fuck old valentine's chocolates because you don't need you don't eat that shit girl i'm like all right whatever but my sister in her defense hugging karen in front of you for like 30 seconds he's like i love you so much i only got enough for you we're so used to it that it's become

like a joke. It's a running joke. It's awesome that you guys are mature enough not to take it out on Karen. Yeah, we don't give a shit. No, it's not her fault. He's a psychopath. One out of ten. Yeah, but we are... Eleven if you include your mom because she was loved. For a minute.

For a minute. At least until that second one. And how far apart?'s the how we're only 15 years apart from eldest to youngest and she took a two-year break it's really not every year as every year to get what do you mean i mean a kid oh there's a year oh my goodness two-year break between Johnny and Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Yeah, Johnny.

Was it Johnny and Charlie or Jimmy and Johnny? Oops. Jimmy and Johnny. Go through the names. Yeah, I got it. So it's Tommy, Karen, Kathleen, Jimmy, Johnny, Charlie, Billy, me, Bobby, and Edie. Wow. And Edie's the youngest. Edie's the baby.

Edie Bird. And no love for the baby bird? Oh, baby bird got no love. But baby bird oh baby bird got no love but baby bird he was already gone yeah she was three when he left so that was real hard for her so they were together to have all you they were together it's not like they got the last one was a little get tried here but it was their relationship was on the fritz from me bobby and Edie. And yet they still kept popping them at them. That makes no sense. I blame the Catholic Church. 100 for sure.

Because there was a priest that got involved and he would try to help them stay together. And so, you know, you have all these beautiful kids. And then every time they'd have sex, she'd get pregnant. She told me she only had sex 10 times. I believe her. I'm kidding. That's all. I but i'm like mom you had a miscarriage the first

one remember that one she goes well we were doing it wrong but yeah she just but i'm saying like they must have been trying to fix the relationship but i believe he was already having an affair with the woman that he's still with oh yeah i do believe that yeah so he did have love for another one there yeah yeah and then but also and in their house that they lived for years they had an extra bedroom and they made it my nephew sean's bedroom and he's the only grandchild is that karen's kid i'm telling you his little sister alexa wow my favorite child if you will i'm just because she was so like me and i i'm obsessed with i mean i love all my kids but she was so like me. Yeah. And I'm obsessed with. I mean, I love all my kids, but she was so like me. But she would scream crying when she would go to pop up at my dad's house.

And then they would bring her back and be like, we can't deal with this. And they would give her back to us. Like, they were supposed to babysit. They were like, no, no, no. This is too much. We're not dealing with this. Every fucking time. Poor Alexa.

Karen and I are going to the symphony. But Sean can stay. He got his own room. He got his own room he got his own room none of the other kids nothing it's great it is crazy but i think my dad was scared and realized he had no future in like like he couldn't figure out how to make this business work the typewriters were already starting to die out coming down yeah i mean that in the 80s like in the when i worked there in the 80s nobody came in like it was i joke and i call it a tree house for him and all his old war buddies because that's what it was they would just come in and shoot the shit and my dad would make me spamming eggs on a hot plate like it was nobody was in

there nobody was in there and he wouldn in there. And he wouldn't evolve. He wasn't like, maybe we should get into computers. I don't think these word processors are going to make it. I told him about, I said, dad, you got to get into computers.

He's like, computers are only a phase girl. I'm like, oh my God, that was a real thing. But what his word processor, the label makers, he was like,

those, they're going to ruin everything girl. Because that glue, when you put it through it seeps out and that's what's shutting the machines down I'm like dad I think they're going to figure something else out it's going to move on from here but he believed that was going to ruin the industry

this is it he would not do anything else but the woman he was having an affair with had money what did she do good money she worked for uh jefferson hospital and she was in uh pharmaceuticals did you know her like did the family know of her and i never heard of her but my mom oddly uh worked with someone that was her friend and she said oh my god you're charlie kerrigan's wife and

my mom was like yeah uh ex-wife you know whatever and what she goes oh we're separated my mom was like you know she would never talk down about my dad to anybody which is amazing to me it is amazing yeah because he never paid child support nothing really nothing not a thing so i mean did he do stuff for the kids he's like i'm taking karen every other week karen moved in with him i swear to god that's absurd karen's like look i love all of you but man when they split up for real yes but they split up for real my mom and her had a fight because my mom dried one of her shirts. My mom was probably walking around like a robot, like, oh, fuck. My husband just left me. I have 10 kids.

I haven't had a job since before we got married. She was a secretary before they got married. That's 20 years later. And now she's got to get a job, figure out how to feed 10 kids. And the crazy man is having an affair with somebody else. So she was probably a zombie put her shirt in the dryer by accident my sister flipped out and moved in with my dad because my mom shrunk her shirt that was all it took yeah and my dad was like sure come on come on what okay so

did this lady tell your mom this was happening is that what ended up is that how your mom found out i didn't think it would be hard but these are hard to talk about but yeah she so this this lady that my mom worked with was like oh we used to um go bar hopping and my dad's wife they would be like let's go with that he's married like like she specifically would go after married guys so this woman was known for that and Mm-hmm. Ah. And she was screwing around with my dad. And at the time, she was married to someone else who was an abuser, I believe, used to whatever, domestic violence and that kind of shit.

So they're both escaping then. And my dad is a giant man. My dad's pretty tough. So that's where he could run in and be her hero. Yeah. But he couldn't financially be her hero she was financially the hero and if to be honest like my mom always says like he'd be my burden if we stayed together but he's her burden now so she she takes care of him she you know

she's good to him she's a nice lady you like her to an extent yeah i mean i i wouldn't say i i don't hate her i don't really like love her she's she's cool she's nice to my dad you know whatever she wasn't nice to my mom though when my they would call my mom's house who's they her and her uh she would call and her friend would call my mom's house to try to get my dad on the phone and can i ask you how at this in time, how old do you say your mom is? What's the, 30s, 20s? Yeah, 38 maybe. Oh, 38.

Okay, late 30s. So, because that's when she was done having kids, I think at 38. So Edie was a baby when this was going on. Okay, so right up until then, at least to your knowledge, he's, it's not good in the house, but at least he's not sleeping around at that point. Oh, no, he's definitely sleeping around. Now that I look back on it, he is definitely sleeping around and possibly with this woman. So earlier than they had made.

My dad's not a talker. He's not going to tell me what happened. So I just put the pieces together. Yeah, he's a leaver. I'm not a talker, girl. I'm a leaver. You know, I'm out. Yeah, bye. Sigh. That's where leaver. He's a leaver. He's a leaver. Yeah, he's a leaver. I thought it's awkward. I'm a leaver. You know, I'm out. Yeah, bye.

Side. That's where the bug out is. Outside. Yeah, he don't open up. Come on, Karen. I get little things. Come on, Karen. Let's go.

We're out of here. Come on, Karen. I just got you a brand new horse. Ted, put him out. Oh, my God. Weird that you brought up a horse. Somebody owed my dad money money and they gave him a pony i shit you not we're in south philly where we put a tiger if you haven't heard that let's

say that if you don't know you're right now you can google south philly pig and there's a lady in my neighborhood her daughter wanted a pig when she was a kid, and she bought it for her, and they domesticated this pig. Like a pot-bellied pig? A lot of people are doing that, yeah. It's a big pig. It is? And this thing just walks around South Philly, right in my mother's neighborhood.

It's hysterical. And no one stops it? No. People take pictures. People probably love it. Yeah, I was going to say. People are on the bus like oh shit a pig in south philly over there you see that there's a hog nobody would notice

here's a pig over here but a wah-wah let's go but this horse so wait let me just go back to this tiger real quick yeah that's somebody else it's an older Crappies episode, but you told a story, too, about a kid whose parents split, and they were trying to outdo one another, and the dad was basically like, I'm going to get you this fucking tiger. And then he wanted it to live with the mom. His mom bought him a Walkman. Deal with that shit, bitch. And his dad bought him a tiger.

She bought him a Walkman. That's a good gift. You said you would run after that tiger in South Philly. Yeah, because my brother Charlie was the tiger whisperer. Remember, that tiger loved Charlie. So tigers, pigs, and a pony? I don't remember the pony. I was too little.

But when you say they gave it to him, did they bring it to the house? No, he had it go to this farm, and it was his. And so he would bring all the kids. I believe I was little. Oh, okay, it stayed there. Of course. And it would stay there. Karen could ride it first.

Karen. And Kathleen. I think technically this was for Kathleen. I don't have a job. Got you this monogrammed saddle here. Here's the thing. Go ahead, Finn. Get on this.

Here's your chaps, baby. And then it bit my dad, so he got rid of it. How did he get rid of it? I don't know. He got rid of it and just stopped saying it. got rid of it. How did he get rid of it? I don't know. He got rid of it or he just stopped seeing it? I heard he shot it. Are you serious? He won't confirm.

He goes, no, girl, I didn't shoot it. The other guy did. I'm like, I know. The other guy did. Oh, my God. But it was a pretty, I guess it was, you know how they get sick or something, they get weird, but when it bites the owner, that's what you did. It bit my dad, so he wouldn't let them. No more pony. They get weird. But when it bites the owner, that's what you did. It bit my dad.

No more pony. Let's go. We're going home. What about dinner? No. Not that either. No child support. Nothing. Karen didn't eat. She was fine. She was good. She was his perfect... Here, Karen. Here's seven nuggets. I ordered it off the secret menu at McDonald's.

People don't know you can get seven, but there you go, Karen. I paid for three extra sauces for you. One for each nugget. This is crazy. My mom, they would turn our lights off because, like, my dad was in charge of paying those bills. Like, they split the bills. And my mom was like, all right, you pay light and gas or whatever. And they'd turn the lights off.

My mom would be like, give it back to me. And I'm like, that's not helping. Make him come up with the fucking money. But she never did. She just took them all. I mean, we'd be a million times in the middle of winter, I took a freezing cold shower. I literally...

Oh my God. They would turn the hot water, they would turn the gas off all the time. It was awful. Which I know sounds weird. Surprisingly, that's good for you. What? Taking taking a cold shower like you're gonna try to look on the bright side of things i mean i'm just they do it in scandinavia they make the kids take cold showers so they build up their immune system yeah so your dad sounds weird your dad leaves how far away does he move four or five blocks so when i was little she'll be here in about three minutes that's how we were called no fun like rock

he'll be here in about five minutes holy shit we would see him i would say all the time right i'd be waving and he just drive by and i'd be like it's number eight nothing all right and he just keeps going like that yeah but he i mean we did every thursday night he would take us out to dinner he did that for about eight months i thought you're gonna going to say years. It didn't last too long. It started. We got paid for 10 kids, man. Dude, but we would go to McDonald's and shit. You know, it was like the secret nugget menu,

you know, things like that. Give me that seven piece for my daughter. But only the bottom half would go. So then it started getting on his nerves, I think, because, you know know we were just maniacs like he'd show up in the car and we're punching each other in the face you know you guys are wild kids or is it just you know because but you're kids yeah it's not we just lost the disciplinarian technically like my mom was a disciplinarian but my dad was who we were scared of

for that in that at least the younger half at that moment and then i was like you know my mom we could fight and she she would hit you whatever but my dad was fucking terrifying because he'd hit you with hot wheel tracks or you know he it was bad like it was scary shit so when he left i was thrilled i mean i mean, I joke about that, but I'm serious. Like, me and my brother Billy, we were celebrating. Dad just beat me up with a Connect 4. Dude, yeah. I got the couch. Like, who left that fucking game out?

That's a weapon, dude. Put that game away. Yeah, no shit. So you got to be careful. So when he left, me and my brother Billy, I remember us upstairs. I remember my mom and my sister Karen and Kathleen downstairs consoling my mom. And she was crying.

And we were upstairs like, yes. And we were running back and forth. And my sister Karen, the favorite, that bitch, she came upstairs and she was like, what are you two doing? And Billy and I were really bad. I don't know what happened. We were close in age. We both were the only. You disconnected.

Yeah. Yeah. We were the only two that got coal in our stocking. That actually happened? know what happened. We were close in age. We both were the only... You disconnected, yeah. Yeah, we were the only two that got coal in our stocking. That actually happened? It real happened. Come on. No other presence. In your life? It was the worst.

Me and Billy, we got... How old were you? I want to say nine and ten. Who did that? My mother. Your mom, not your dad. She had no control. No, we might have even been 10 and 11 at this point.

We were terrible. We just never listened. And the coal set me back 450. In the coal? You're lucky y'all got that. Right? In the coal. Charcoal briquette?

What was it? Because I think it was from Hallmark. I think it was from Hallmark. That's what it's called? A briquette. Charcoal briquette. But my mom growing up, they had real coal in their basement. Do you remember that?

I mean, I don't remember that. I don't remember that, but they've told me stories about shoving the coal into the stove and all that crap. My pop-up, he would put it in my Uncle Billy. He would get coal. So maybe it's just the name. Our names are bad. But in the coal coal there was a list and it was a long list it would say what you did wrong and everything was fucking checked off there was like two that weren't and i think it was killing someone and like i mean it was that

high up but we were like oh fuck we missed that one you know we got to get our shit together for like i committed bank fraud well i did rob the church one time. Did you? You robbed the church? We stole the missionary books. Stole? Don't say robbed. You know what I mean. That is robbed.

Elton, freeze! Get down! Give me that rope! Because my brother Billy always said it. You knew where to go get it? Elton robbed the church, but I got blamed for it. But it was me and my friend Robert, not Billy. We stole it, not him. How muchbert not billy we stole it not him

so much money don't you get out of it i remember we were young we're idiots there was my dad left so it was like my mom couldn't control us and then all we had to do was duck my older brothers and sisters who were easy to duck because they were in their teens and so they didn't want to be around they didn't want to be around you anyway yeah so it was rare. But Karen, that day when she came upstairs, she was so mad. I remember she grabbed both of us by our hair and then she banged our heads together. And both of us went down like, fuck, bitch. It was brutal. But we didn't realize.

We were celebrating that my mom's husband just left her. You know what I mean? Not even your dad. Your mom's husband. Yeah, we were so far removed. this fucking guy's crazy i i like i said i love my dad but i'm thrilled he left i mean listen it's amazing to hear you say you love your dad i mean that's people get mad at me for that but that's all my mom no no i mean like people say you should not like your father but but your mom never spoke ill of him.

I mean, she could have been bitching about him up and down in that house all day and made you hate yourself ultimately. You know, like, why is this guy not like me? Her first thing was, I remember like he would call and I would be on the phone. I'd roll my eyes and she'd go, you did that for me. Don't do that. That's your father and you have to love him. He's your only father. Don't do that.

That's your father and you have to love him. He's your only father. And let me tell you, if you sit and you wallow and say, oh, it's, you know, woe is me. It's only going to affect you. Not him. He's gone. He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't give a fuck. So it's only going to consume you and your life.

So don't do that. Wow. And she would say that to all of us when we were little. I mean, it's harsh to hear, but it's good advice. It's just like, he's not going to worry. You guys just need to, onward and upward. It's more than advice, though. That's strength.

That's wisdom. That's why she's a hero to me. I mean, really putting yourself 11th. Seriously, putting yourself 11th. 12th. We had the dog, Fluffy. Don't forget Fluffy. The bitch is 12.

The bitch is 12. Don't forget about the dogs, yeah forget fluffy mom you got 12 my fault so i want to go back to this because you mentioned your dad was in the war so korean war yeah okay he says it like that is that racist korean girl that just sounds like an accent okay um but did that fuck with him because you you also told us a story off, Mike, that I want you to tell about an incident with him and a gun. Oh, with the shooting. I think I told the rifle story on here. I know I do it on stage once in a while. I want to hear it again because when you said it, I didn't remember it. It's been so long since you've been on. But you can get into that.

Do you now look back? Because we had Dan Van Kirk on last week, and we talked about how you look back on it now, and it's, oh, that was PTSD. It just wasn't called that or undiagnosed at that time. Sure, all of us are undiagnosed. Now the kids are getting diagnosed, but we weren't, you know, growing up, even us, we weren't growing up like ADD. No one ever was like, hey, do you have depression?

ADD was like, that kid's retarded, put it in the corner yeah like my i had a teacher that made us the seven deadly sins and she would put us in the corner there were seven of us and she would like wedge us over but we were like the retarded do that stuff now and she specifically moved up she goes those kids are fucking retarded like she would say i know i'm not allowed to say that word but whatever you've said it like four times i'm sorry i apologize i'm not a learner i'm not learning a new word but yeah so i definitely something i mean my dad was in korea but he wasn't he only saw a little bit of combat and he was on the tail end he was 17 saw more than five definitely but when he was a six years old is when they bombed pearl harbor his birthday is december 7th which is weird so yeah so now him and his best friend gillespie went around the corner dizzy gillespie Gillespie. Dizzy Gillespie. There's so many Gillespies too.

There's like 500 of them. And so they went around the corner and they threw bricks through the Chinese laundromat because they were so mad that his party was canceled. He was six. So they threw bricks.

Jesus. And then the poor guy that owned the Chinese laundromat had to put a sign, me Chinese, not Japanese. Oh no. Because he had the idiots that were around him they didn't know what countries were but so from that age my dad was waiting to go in and he made my grandma he got caught in high school south philly high with uh guns so it was

back then he got caught with guns yeah selling so he got he was in jail or the military yeah that's right so he military and then they test you and then they're like oh you're a marine because you'll just fucking go right into combat like he didn't get in the navy those have brains he's like oh yeah this guy fights with his face put him in marine that's right and so he you know he a Marine, and he got in. He was gung-ho. He couldn't wait to get in there. And how do you know all this?

He tells me. I ask him every day. I call him a lot. I talk to him a lot. All right. We're going to come back to that because that's impressive, too. So he's in Korea. When do he and your mom meet?

How old are they? Are they high school? They are. They grew up on the same street. One street apart. The same where they still are? Yeah. No.

They both grew up in St. Monica's Parish in Philadelphia, in South Philly on Chadwick Street. And he was 2,400. She was 2,500. So they were right up the street from one another. And how did they meet? Just from the neighborhood? Yeah, just from the neighborhood, hanging around.

And she was, you know, my mom was playing the field. She was like, I have boyfriends, lots of them and i was like oh boy but you know she they would call her the iron petticoat because you couldn't get up her skirt my dad got in he took that iron petticoat off. He had his own tools to get in. His father made them. I got it. I'm not a typewriter. They got to come to me. They were dating before he went into

the Marines. God damn it. We have so many. Should we talk about the tabarellings? Into the Marines. That goddamn name. Stop now. The name. We have so many. That's how it starts. Should we talk about the Tabarellis or not? The Tabarelli. I mean, you sound like you lived in Little Italy. What the fuck is that?

It's Italy, too. It's the same place. We were like the only Irish families. Thank God the Irish families had a lot of kids. Yeah. So nobody bothered us a lot of kids. Yeah. So nobody bothered us really. Sure. Yeah, because nobody's going to fight Franny Gallagher.

He's a fucking maniac. And the Martins only were four, but they were strong. Your dad gets caught not, when you said with guns, I just assumed he had a gun in school. You said selling guns. No, I think he was selling or buying. All right. Something like that. So then military and then he comes out.

So he got in trouble. I think he was selling or buying, something like that. So then military, and then he comes out. He had my grandmom sign to say he was a year older than he was. Oh, he was 17 when he went in. Okay. So he was young, got in there. So he was on the tail end of it. But he saw some combat, but I don't know how much. Did he ever tell you any stories?

Yeah. Like what? A friend of his, they were rescuing or helping get these guys out of some crazy something. And he saw a guy get caught in a helicopter. Jesus. In the blade? In the blade. Wow.

And I was like, whoa. But yeah, one of his guys. One of his own guys. Holy shit. It was an American soldier, Marine, whatever. How do you ever get that out of your fucking head? But he said it was, everybody was moving so fast because it was like this mission

like we got to get in there, we got to get them out. The plane was moving faster than that. Well, it's a little bit. Hey, Frank's dead. We got to go. Frank's moving fast. Not as fast as that motherfucking helicopter. Everybody pick up a piece of Frank. We got to go. About three seconds when it chopped off Frank. It's back to full speed

see that is terrible but real but they would make fun of it i i guess it was their how they got through it it's like how you get through it i'm saying how do you it's cliche as fuck but laughter is the best medicine i would rather sit here and laugh about those hard times and be on any kind of pill that makes me a zombie and we're just like, and then this and this and this. Are you fucking in there? Do you have any feelings? That's why I love you for this, because I knew you'd be like this, and this is exactly what this show is all about.

So wait, how old are you? Because Dan was talking about his stepdad. When he's in Korea, I'm still in his nuts. I'm talking about when he's telling you these fucked up stories oh my dad yeah how are you when he's telling you these stories i i get 10 no no because when he left i had we had to work for him every day after school at the typewriter store but that was just to keep us off the street nothing like he would leave and he would be like hey swab the deck and me and billy had to call my mom at work and be like the fuck the swab the deck mean you know what i mean like you know that guy you married he's a fucking idiot i don't know what this means and then

she would tell me and hang up on me because she worked for the philadelphia navy shipyard and then she was a beer girl for Beth Stadium. That's right. Yeah. Of course. Oh, man. Yeah. I love that shit. For the Eagles and the Phillies, that was her side job. And also, she worked for Wanamakers, which is now like Macy's and all that shit. Yeah. The Strawbridges, Wanamakers. She did all those extra jobs just to kind of keep food on the fucking table and the

lights on from time to time. Jesus Christ. Your mom is a saint. That's what I'm saying. I don't know how she did it. And Christ. Your mom is a saint. That's what I'm saying. I don't know how she did it. And she never took money from the government. Like she would never go on welfare. And your dad didn't give her any?

No. She said if we were all able to work we go to work. That's it. We'll figure it out. She could have gotten some assistance. Even like some help. She can still work. She wouldn't do it. She refused because she said there was more people in need than us.

And I was like, damn, bitch. Like, I'm dying. Oh, man. We're starving. Are you wearing all your. I just made a sugar sandwich. On white bread. You were brought home for the last three nights.

I need some food. Did you bring any fucking pretzels from Vet Stadium? God damn. Stop selling beer, mom. Get the food. Yeah, I have no idea how she did it. I remember I was fist fighting over food, though. Are you all in hand-me-downs?

Oh, yeah. I mean, you're older sisters. You never had new clothes, probably, right? But the problem is with us, me and edie we kind of got lucky because karen and kathleen were 10 years 9 and 10 years older than me so in edie's four years younger than me so yeah but that but that was gone by then so they were working so they were our kind of heroes and would take us out and buy us new clothes. So the girls kind of got, you know, my sister Kathleen would take us one year. Karen would take

us for winter clothes. They would help my mom that way. That's great. You know what I mean? My dad never took me out. That's weird. He took Karen. He was buying Karen clothes so she could buy us clothes. No, I'm kidding. I got you solid gold roller skates, Karen.

Listen, I don't have anything for y'all for Christmas. Karen, here's a Tiffany stocking right here for you, girl. But my poor brothers. With diamond holes in it. My brothers were screwed. They had to just fend for themselves. And I remember they all had the school shoes and the bottom, the flap would come off. Yeah, the sole.

Oh, the sole, right? Yeah. So if, you know, you know I shared a room with my brothers, right? I think I talked about that. I wanted to ask you, how many rooms were in there again? Three.

And your mom had one. My mom had one. And then there's two left. And then there's a middle, which was a glorified closet. Right. That's the one I was in in my grandmom's row home. Yes.

Yeah. And she put a canopy bed in here. Fucking moron. Because she put a canopy bed in here. Fucking moron. Because she wanted it to be girly. Oh, yeah, yeah. You could barely open the door. It would hit the poles. Mom, the mosquito net's stuck in the goddamn door.

Yeah, mosquito net. It was that bad. Like, you could hang yourself trying to get in this fucking thing they're awful right so they wouldn't let me sleep in there my sisters would they would get out get out because i was a bedwetter okay yeah my room was the same thing this is what fit in it a twin bed and then a a dresser that my grandmother called a chest of drawers uh and i had to turn sideways to get in between the two of those like i would have to scooch in and then you just lay back on the bed like that was that's how i was 20 when that was my room that's where i stay when i go home yeah and now it's a twin bed and just that same that's it yeah

we did kathleen and i wound up later putting a bunk bed in there when Karen finally really left but when my dad first left my mom said I would walk the hallway and go where do I sleep tonight and she'd just be like oh honey I don't know like what do you do so my brothers there was a triple bunk bed, a double bunk bed, and a single bed. All in one room? Mm-hmm. Holy shit. And then we had a mattress, because that would have been the master bedroom, if you will.

My mom moved to the back room, which was smaller. And then the boys went to the front room, which was bigger. But then there was a mattress under the triple bunk bed, so I would sleep on the mattress. You were the trundle bed? Yeah, technically. The makeshift trundle yeah without the wheels i got that mattress under my daughter's bed right now but that's a pull out to jump off the bed dive that's amazing that's what we used it for to wrestle that's right we'll get to that too you were you were a professional wrestler

we would put a flat sheet down and make that the like that was gonna no padding no yeah fucking idiots it's amazing we all we didn't kill each other well wait hold on real quick because you said kill each other and i want to go back we forgot to tell this story we've been talking too much but about your dad in this incident with the gun i want you to to, I want to, you started telling that and I don't remember it. Will you tell that damn story? Oh, with the rifle. I guess. You said two times.

Well, this is the rifle one when I was younger. I was like 10, I was in like 10th grade or something like that. And I was walking home from school and I had my books in my hand. I walk in and he was cleaning out a rifle. And I was like. In the living room no in the typewriter store oh which is probably why customers didn't come in looking in the window like you know what you know i need that one that one utensil that they only have i'll just leave

my typewriter broken that is literally like cleaning it out and i was like so i'm like sarcastic and as a joke i'm like hey dad don't shoot and he's like hey girl hold that pencil up i bet i could shoot it out of your hand like what are you fucking hot but you know nobody gave a shit and you did he's a big guy my dad's a big motherfucker he's like don't be a sissy hold it up girl and i hold the pencil up and he cocks the rifle fires and then i threw the pencil pencil, and I peed a little naturally. Did he really fire? Yeah. Or was it a blank?

No, it was like, poof. And I was like, fuck. So I dove under a typewriter. Holy shit. And then I'm laying on the ground. I'm like, damn, did my dad just blow a hole in me? I'm freaking out. And I hear him laughing.

And I was like, what? The way I do it on stage. Let's get out of here, Karen. Karen would have held it up. Karen would have died now. She knew better. That shit in the teeth. She would have Neo Matrix'd out it.

She would have put her hand out. But you would think I'd be used to this idiot nutcase, but I would panic. I knew he did this a lot that's insane so when i i was laying on the ground like that the way i say it on stage because i when he started laughing i was like what are you doing and he's like i got you and i'm like yeah you got me to shit a little what the and he's like i got you i shot you with blanks and then the tagline on stage because it really happened but i tag it with, finally, after 10 kids, this prick is shooting blanks.

Like, it's so dumb, but it's real because it really happened. But then later in life, I was visiting with my second ex-fiance. And I always take. Your second ex-fiance. Yeah, I have a couple, though. Can we talk about that? Yeah. All right, we'll come back.

Yeah. We'll come back. But so my second ex-fiance and we were in the typewriter store because I would always bring them to the typewriter store because they couldn't fathom that this was a real thing. So went to the typewriter store. My dad was there. And of course, sometimes he's not there. And I would just show it around like you'd have a secretary or somebody because he made his money on the street, like going to to businesses going to schools and stuff like that when they were still teaching yeah so but i knew he was there so i was like yeah my dad's there let's go see my dad and i walked in and i'm like look he's gonna do some crazy shit it happens he's

a little bit of a show-off but i'm not sure i asked you to hold up a pencil no he might ask you to hold a grenade and pull this thing that's's his big trick. And he rigged this. He had a grenade that was already detonated. Yeah. But it still could scare the shit out of somebody. So I told him about this. And he goes, I'm not touching the fucking grenade. I'm like, all right, whatever.

I'm just like, you know, it's going to happen. Because he's a weirdo. He thinks this is a magic trick. That's his hello. This is his we're having fun day. is hello this is his we're having fun day yeah and uh so he goes we go in and my dad had 45 that he was cleaning and i'm like he's always cleaning right now he loves those guns man i named this gun karen and i go what are you doing he goes and i go oh dad you didn't get rid of that that's my because

it was my favorite.45. He stole it out of the military. He's not allowed to have it. Oh, he did? It's got Marine Corps plates on everything. Yeah. So I'm like, dad, what, you can't. I go, you got to put that away.

And he goes, want me to shoot you, girl? And my fiance was shaking. He goes, the fuck is happening right now? And he put it at like close range. I'm telling you, it at like close range i'm telling you it was so close to my face probably like maybe 12 inches from my face and he fired and i saw fire come out of it and i go dad and then my friend was like my fiance was like all right this is a lot and i'm like this is just how he is but at this point i didn't even duck at this point, I didn't even duck.

At this point, I was yelling at him like, Dad, don't do that. Jesus Christ. I was so used to this maniac. If he shoots at you, that means he likes you. Yeah. You piqued his interest. Yeah. And at least he knew I was there.

That's all I can say. Holy fuck. Yeah. So I can say. Holy fuck. Yeah, so he would do that a lot. He was a fucking... He did it to kids in the neighborhood to scare them. And did any of the other parents? Well, one of them... Would you go over there?

One of them he really shot. Go get my rocket launcher. He really shot my friend AJ. Wait, what? He really shot this kid AJ. I, what? He really shot this kid AJ. I think it was his 22. Because first he handcuffed him to a pole. How old was this kid?

11. Wait, you just skipped over that she said first he handcuffed him to a pole. How old is this kid? So this 11-year-old's handcuffed to a pole. My dad was big on the handcuffs. He used to handcuff us in the basements. Not me. I didn't get it.

My brother Charlie got it a lot. I think Jimmy got it. If you were real bad. Billy and I were wising up at this point. We knew how to pick a lock. Don't worry. Grandpa made a handcuff key, too. Yeah, we weren't in the get locked up stage with my dad.

Yeah. You know, we would get our ass kicked by my mom or, you know, have a talking to by my dad at this point. But we weren't, like, Charlie would skip school a lot. Like, we went to school, Billy and I. My mom was hitting us. So even though you guys were bad kids, you still went to school. Yeah. You still did what you were supposed to do.

Yeah. And Jimmy was doing drugs and, doing drugs and it was getting weird. So they would get in a lot of trouble because Jimmy would drive high or something. So that was a different kind of thing. But yeah, so he handcuffed my neighbor, this poor kid. He's a cop now, this kid.

I wonder why. He was probably like, I'm gonna fight. You know the day that your dad was like, that's when I'm going into the war, this when this kid yeah as soon as i get out of these motherfucking handcuffs i'm gonna be a badge on my chest motherfucker and meanwhile he loves my dad obsesses both of his parents went to jail for i don't know the 11 year old yeah so before they went to jail his mother asked my dad please talk to this kid the kid was a nightmare he would come in he would be staring up our skirts you know like yeah me we used to

beat the shit out of him but we would never shoot him but we'd be like come here you little motherfucker you know oh my god because he was an asshole yeah his parents just didn't you know he had no parents he was the only child his parents owned a convenience store across the street from my dad's store so my dad you know was the type right they were on the other side uh so my dad would go there every day and he kept he was their security basically so if they ever had a problem they just you know mr kerrigan and he'd come over with his 45. What's your dad's first name? Charlie. Charlie. Okay.

Charlie. How do you say it? Charlie. Charlie. I love how you say it, Charlie. And so my dad, yeah, so AJ, they asked if he could help with him. So he was like, I'll talk to him. And then I forget what he did.

He did something at school, something bad. And so my dad handcuffed him outside and he was pointing, I'll talk to him. I forget what he did. He did something at school. Something bad. My dad handcuffed him outside and he was pointing a gun at him and he's yelling at him and then he shot at the ground and it ricocheted. In the hand? How bad? Did it blow a finger or anything?

No, it was like a graze but it was enough to scare the shit out of him. I can't believe I just said, oh, it's nothing. Today you'd be in jail for 20 years for shooting a minor. I did once see a guy shoot another guy

in the neighborhood. It was scary. Because I didn't want the guy, the shooter, I was his friend. I hated the person he was shooting and I did want that person dead, but I didn't want him to go back to jail. So I was like, literally me and my best friend Franny were holding his arm going, don't do it, don't do it. And he shook us off and shot.

And when he hit the guy, the guy none of us liked, the neighborhood bully, he hit him. The kid went, ow. That was it? And we were like, holy shit. ow like that was it and we were like wait that was it yeah oh this kid was tough this kid used to he was a fucking animal how old are you guys he's dead now thank god but dude this kid was a neighborhood piece of shit what did he do why did you guys hate him so much he just was a bully he how old was i i was about 15 and i was laying out naturally in my backyard was it a driveway by the way no see we had row homes we had the row home we my

grandmom had the little it was like a it was like just a narrow patch of grass with a clothes hang at the back. And then my aunts in the city was, they called it a yard, but it was a concrete slab where you could park a car if you wanted to. Oh no, we didn't have. Back in the alley. We had a gate around it. Yeah, a little chain link fence for like four feet.

The weird thing was that day it was flag day and the only reason i remember that is because that's a government holiday and he was in the building of the playground which is owned by the city so i was like what's he doing in there and his cousin was like i've had it this guy keeps know, coming after me and he's bullying me and he's extorting money from me. So, you know, his little cousin comes to him and he goes, you know what?

I'm done with this guy. And he walked into the playground, into this little field house. We call it a field house, but it's not a real field house. It's a little house in the field. So he walked back in there and he came back out with the gun. And that's when pranayama

like no no no no and we ran and we're like no don't do it don't we're trying begging him not to do it because he was like a good friend of ours and he did it and then he he shot like four or five jesus i think he hit him only three times and the guy lived yeah of course he went to jail after that and i think he got killed in jail i don't know when i tell you a piece of shit this was a terrible person but then the guy who did the shooting his brother came around he's like nobody saw nothing and he's yelling right and my my other really close friend this kid named anthony he's kind of well connected so he's like i'll fucking kill everyone he is.

He goes, I'll put your family in a fucking blender. Not you, Ant. Or you, Karen. But I'll take that half of the fagliones. It's Juh. That's a different family. He would have stood up for Karen, too.

Yeah. This bully pushed my sister when she was pregnant. So he hated it. He hated it. He hated it. Everybody hated this. This guy was a piece of shit. Like, worst person in the world.

And then what he ran into after a couple months, he ran into my friend Anthony. He goes, Joey, you didn't tell anybody who did it? And he goes, if you did it, I wouldn't tell anybody you did it either. That's how the fucking neighborhood works. And he just walked away. That's great. Yeah, but they wouldn't touch Anthony because he's connected. But the best when that guy was yelling how he was going to kill the families

and if anybody talked. And then like four times, not you, aunt. You know him. So I want to go back to you say that you talk to your dad now. Oh, yeah. So how does that come about? How do you develop a relationship with someone that doesn't want one with you? And like how do you do that?

Because I don't – I think he's just – like I said, I think he was scared. He couldn't provide. He couldn't provide for the kids, my mom, the house. My mom, two years ago, just finished paying her mortgage on a South Philly real home. And I was like, mom, that's awesome. Good for your mom. That's amazing. Hell yeah.

That's a huge accomplishment. I go, that's a big deal. And she goes, don't get too excited. It took me 54 years. So what? You did it. It took 54 54 but that's still a big deal for a single two thousand dollars a year

i'm on a 54 year fixed mortgage the house was 75 000 when they bought it i mean 7500 75, 100. 100? Yeah. But she remortgaged it so much to survive. Right. That house kept her and us alive, technically, because it was the only collateral she had. And my dad, she remembered 54 years, because when she signed the paper, she was pregnant with my brother, Johnny. And every time she tells a story, she's like, I was so pregnant. I'm like, no shit, lady. Well, weren't you?

So she said they went to sign the papers and she was upset because she wanted a bigger house. And my dad wouldn't do it. Because he knew he couldn't afford it. But she didn't know that. You think I have $9,000? And that, by the way, Johnny's only. You think I'm a thousandaire? Johnny's number five.

Whoa. So she five. Whoa. So she had five more kids after this. Fuck. So he knew. And he just kept fucking having kids with her. That's crazy to me. That is. It is.

That's why I'm blown away that you even have. I know. Sometimes when I talk about it, I'm like, ooh, maybe I shouldn't talk to him. I'm just kidding. I mean, that's your choice. It's everybody's individual choice. And I don't ever say anybody's got to do that. Look, I just reconnected with my mother after, what, 25 some years.

So, I mean, I get it. So how does it happen for you? Because you're cheering when you're a kid that this dude's gone. So do you eventually end up missing him? Like, what happens to bring you around to start talking to him? I think I felt sorry for him. At what age does this happen? Well, when I was working at the typewriter store, because I started from fourth grade

all the way to 12th grade, I had to go there every day after school. Every day. Because that was like daycare technically for us. And my dad was like, answer the phone, write something down. Don't be a fucking idiot. And he would give us like $10 a week. Did you ever learn to type? With one finger like my dad.

Like your dad. I did pass typing in high school. You should see me with my trigger finger, girl. All good men should come to the aid of their country. But yeah, I'm not a great typist. My mom's an amazing typist. But me and my dad, my dad types with one finger because his fingers are like the size of four fingers for a regular person.

He's got like really big hands. He's got like Tony Robbins hands. I think he could squash. Banana hands, like bear paws. Yeah, definitely gorilla. And yeah, he walks on his knuckles pretty big. And I feel bad. My brother Jimmy got him.

And then my brother Jimmy's daughter, Nicole, got him. Oh, sorry, Nicole. She was a singer. And she would always hide her hands. And I'm like, how are you going to hide your hands? Why are you always wearing gloves? Big winter gloves. Not the finger cut out ones.

Like those ones that's got the warmers inside. I'm like, real puffy. She got the voice of Whitney Houston, the hands of Cecil Fielder. I'm telling you, it was that bad. Like her little brother who plays for the Minnesota Twins, he would make fun of her picking up a quarter because she would try to be dainty and not show that, you know, she could put a hole in the table. Just get the golf ball.

I'll get the quarter. He still makes fun of her. It's the best. But anyway, so yeah. But I do think I felt bad for him, seeing how sad his life is. No, I understand. I would come home, and my dad was funny to me.

I know I shouldn't laugh at it, but he was ridiculous. That's what you have to do. They would tell crazy stories, and it became like Tuesdays with Maury. Remember that? I would do Tuesdays with Kerrigan. Every time time i went home i'd go to the typewriter store and i'm talking about like later when i moved to la uh you know i would go home to visit and i'd be at the typewriter store and i remember my mom calling me there once and uh she was my dad answered and he's like kerrigan because kerrigan office machine kerrigan's just she's like oh tell eleanor

to bring blah blah blah whatever and he's like she's visiting with me she goes but she doesn't like you she likes me like i raised her tell her to pick this up yeah but she would break his balls but she would never do that in front of us and now they're really still good friends like they really she calls him on his birthday he calls her on his birthday. He calls her on his birthday. She checks on him. He checks on her. There's still a love, I mean, right? Yeah, because they grew up together. But it was always like that.

Are they still close in proximity to living together? No, he lives in Rehoboth now because he had the hip replacement. And it was hard for him to go up and down those little steps, those narrow row home steps. And so Rehoboth is a ranch style like all one level so they just moved out there and you visit them and everything i did this time i i usually now that he's in rehoboth i'm like fuck i'm never gonna see my dad this is weird yeah because when i would go home the typewriter store like i said was four blocks away so i to go to there and I would see him there and I'd hang out with him there. And I didn't have to

hang out with his wife. I could hang out with him and, like I say, his war buddies that would come and sit in the typewriter store. All these old guys. Mr. Richardson was 99 years old. Curly was in Korea with my dad. So the stories were phenomenal. Do you remember any that stand out?

I was writing about it for a while because it was so yeah i tried to sell it as a tv show can you share any of them uh but like curly was my favorite because like i joke about mr richardson being so old he showed me a musket wound like they that's all they talked about i was like i got shot you know it was like jaws when they were in the fucking, showing their different scars, but they would let me in on it. Now,

Curly had a stroke, uh, while having sex with two barbacks. Uh, he was having a threesome and he had a stroke in the middle. These men are whores. They were girls that were, oh,

barback waitresses, you know, like, whatever. Like, they were trying to get bartenders, learn to be bartenders. This bartender and the girl does the ice bucket. And I'll tell you, right in the middle of it, just all seized up on me. This old motherfucker. Still came, though. Twice.

And his wife, like, had to come. And, oh, it was awful. And she's fluent. She speaks fluent Italianian so she's cursing him so he's cheating on his wife with these i'm assuming he's older and they're probably how old's that at the time he's doing this uh so when this happened probably 60 and how old are the girls uh 30s good good for curly dude maybe 20s Jesus. And his wife has to come get him because he had a stroke in the middle of it? Curly about to take you on a whirling.

She's pissed, bro. Are the girls calling 911 and shit, or what happened? I think so, but all I know is my dad was like, hey, he's got to move to Jersey, girl. And I go, what happened? Why? And then he told the story story but here's the weird part where curly had the stroke he still has the anger but he never got the speech back you know like it

wasn't good so he would spell everything in the air like not even like good like he could barely spell so one day he came in he was sweating and he's spelling and he's sweating and we found out his car was on fire outside he wasn't sweating he was like the only thing that ever came out clear was fuck and mother fuck no i swear to god all of his speech he could barely on that yeah it's god damn it was so funny like he would write us things and hold them up like he oh he would make me laugh so hard but mostly he'd just spell it in the air like and it was the best so his his story was he was um after he got caught with that he just was going through so much angry shit and his wife was making him move to jersey and he was trying to prolong it so he would like buy her things and he bought her this cadillac and he had a problem with the

dealership so instead of going in because he couldn't explain what the problem was he drove it through the window of the dealership he drove that motherfucker through the glass that's a baller ass shit that is so my wish I could fucking do this was my favorite person

like I would cry and then there was Butcheroni would hang out. Butcheroni. Butcheroni. Who are you going to drive your car through the store? Who are you coming through with my Butcheroni? Look, look, this is his dog right here.

Pufferoni. Toughest kids I know. Remember that kid I was telling you got shot? Yeah. Okay. This bully. Who literally said ouch after multiple bullets. I tell you where he didn't say ouch greatest fight ever seen in my life was this kid chucky butcheroni you could look them up he was number one kickboxer

in the country for a while he was a fucking bad motherfucker yeah so this prick made the mistake of fucking with uh one of the youngercheronis. So, Chucky. Was it Chucky or Gregory? I think it was Chucky. Chucky came around. You got a middle-aged Butcheroni. One of the first people I'm making friends with is a guy named

Chucky Butcheroni. I don't want any bad side of Chucky Butcheroni. Ba-ba-ba-ba-butcheroni. They were my favorites so chucky he hit him he put a hole in his mouth come on i'm not kidding collapsed his whole face he bit down or something the way he hit him his jaw clenched and it ripped tore it open we were like i never saw anything like i when i was in middle school this kid uh james johnson he had two brothers they were both these like this really big black guys went on to play like uh high school and college football jason was wearing a cast and he got into a fight with a guy and he hit him just one punch and like his lower jaw went through unhinged and like

ripped out his side lip. Just in one punch. We all still talk about that. Remember when... More than the shooting. We talk about the fight. Was it a one and done or he kept going? You mean Chuckie?

Yeah, he kept going. You had to because this kid was a pitbull. He was fucking Jason Voorhees. He just kept coming at you. The butcher's coming through. Where had to because this kid was a pitbull. He was fucking Jason Voorhees. Yeah, yeah. He just kept coming at you. The butcher's coming through. Where'd he get the hockey mat? The butcher.

Ronan. Ugh, what a piece of shit. But yeah, but there was that older guy that would hang out. He also, he was, did my dad call him the draft dodger? One of them was the draft dodger and I can't remember, but one of them didn't go to war. He was a draft up in Canada the whole time, this pussy you know like that's how it was but it was great like he would include me he let me become i hate but i love your dad kind of as much as like he's just nuts but i

he's nuts but it's almost like something that you can't get away from it's like watching a train wreck you have to go see like i told you when i go visit him he comes out with weird shit he's like hey girl because we're hoping this predominantly gay yeah my brother lives in uh lewis did he know it's gay yeah they know it's good yeah my dad didn't he didn't know he's terrified he's like hey girl he's yelling he had no idea it's like uh it's a boy they got boys kissing boys though that's a girl like he loses it one he ran into gillespie his friend and he ran into him and um he was like hey gillespie you know and they went to hug and gillespie's italian so he kissed him on both cheeks and he goes hey man they're liable to think we're one of them faggots out

here don't push it i'm like dad but yeah and now he refers to lesbians as girl faggots. He's a mess. How old is he? 83. 83. He just turned 83. December 7th. I don't think he's going to change.

Nah, he's not coming around to change. I think he's at his time. He's getting a little better where he's like, hey, you know, I can't talk like that girl because she's bringing a lot of them people over here. Oh, his wife? Them people? And he's like, our neighbors are gay, girl. He goes, but they're good.

They know how to decorate and stuff. That's what he thinks is good. Yeah, so he's coming around. Yeah. He calms down. He doesn't drop the N-bombs as much as he used to. As much. As much.

But he didn't do the N-bomb as much as he would say colored and i'm like it's it's worse yeah i'd rather you use the n-word colored is older i don't i um is he so is he close other than karen which obviously we've been joking about the entire time is he currently close or keep in touch with any of your other siblings or like you an anomaly just karen and jimmy but but here's the thing karen myself and jimmy we reach out he doesn't reach out we reach out one way yeah definitely a one-way if i didn't call i don't know if he called and do you think it's because you guys kind of feel bad for him or is it now you don't feel as bad for him i mean i don't feel bad for him? Or is it now you don't feel as bad for him?

I mean, I don't feel bad for him now. He's well taken care of, you know. I mean, I'll do anything for my mother. You know, like I don't go out of my way to go. Like we went to Rehoboth this time when I was home most of December. And we did go to Rehoboth. And I was kind of pissed about it because it was a Sunday. And my sister Karen promised me we'd be back by 3 o'clock and the Eagles were playing at four and my all my

brothers and sisters come over on Sundays like Sundays at my mom's house is like still old school it's everybody goes there Sunday dinner gravy she does the whole thing yeah so I mean I just called this Sunday you know they were all watching the Eagles be bears and uh it was like it was a crazy house and i was like wow you know and every time so i was pissed that's a hell of a way to win how big is how big is that extended family now now that all the 10 you know you're married and yeah but so how many how many cousins and like how many nieces and nephews yeah how many nieces and nephews we only have we only have 10 nieces and nephews. Isn't that crazy?

Yeah, that's crazy. That's a surprise. Yeah, we didn't, because five of us didn't have kids and five had kids. Wow. Right down the middle. Yeah, my Aunt Julie,

my mom's sister, also had 10 kids. Holy shit, are you serious? Yes. Between those two sisters, there are 20 children. The Fertile Parker sisters. Is that what they call them?

That's the name of their children. The Fertile Parker sisters. That's the name of their band. The Fertile. But she, yeah, my Aunt Joy had 10 kids, and then I think they have 15 or 16 grandchildren. Damn. So they did well. Right. And then they have, they're already on great, great grants. And so are we, because my sister Karen is a grandmother,

which is crazy to me. That is crazy. She don't look like a grandmother. She's a hot granny. We're going to go on a cruise, be hot granny and hot auntie. You're going to have so much fun. So much fun. Oh, yeah, she's crazy too. My sister is nutty.

I love her, but she's got my dad's temper. And I think that's why she is my dad in female. Oh, yeah? Yeah. She will snap your neck. she's got my dad's temper and i think that's why she is my dad in female oh yeah yeah do you think she will snap your neck if your dad has a will do you think it's just for karen yes definitely does he get stuff too though stuff i got a mini fridge over here you can have it karen has an old typewriter yeah i don't get shit karen and the gun is what i wanted there was a certain nickel plated uh pistol that i wanted stole no another one and this was a 22 jimmy you get the patent in my typewriter key and he gave it to my cousin terry you know he

says hey girl how are you gonna get it back to los Angeles? I go, that'll keister it. He goes, I don't even know what that means. Keister. But I'm just saying, like. I flew a gun out here one time. Is it scary? What? What do you do? Yeah, my father, when I was. So in Maryland, you were allowed to get a gun when you were, like, I think it was 13,

as long as you were with an adult or something like that to hunt, obviously. Okay. And my dad was a hunter and we were just into sports so he bought us um just uh 20 gauges i mean there was a bird gun you know it wasn't anything powerful but a beginner gun and we were just like nah we're not into it you know we'd rather play sports and he was like powerful bb gun and then he never even gave a shit it wasn't he didn't care he was just full-on he was always sports too but then he was just like well fuck it i'll just get into sports with the kids even more so he never hunted

again or anything but i had it and it was just sitting there and i was talking to a friend of mine one day he's like i'll buy it from you and i was like i don't even know how if you're allowed to do that so i looked into it called the airport and they're like you got to buy a specific case and you know there was no ammo it was just a gun empty gun and it was never even fired like i never my oil in my skin was barely ever even on this thing um so i had to you had to put in the case i remember you had to lock it um they had to be a key that be able to open it to check and everything and then it had to be checked obviously and then uh yeah i got it and sold it to him out here and this was that's a long time ago yeah well he keeps giving them to my brother jimmy and my cousin terry i have nothing he's giving everything away he only

has a high power bb gun to shoot the birds the black birds not because he's racist but because right yeah all right maybe he is i don't know but i'm just saying it's just weird but i get nothing they they all get it because they're there so you said second ex-fiance can we talk about that a little bit because i mean obviously i've made wrong decisions uh make a lot in my relationship choices and i know it's rooted in all the you know trouble and problems are you saying i have daddy issues i'm not saying it i'm asking you um how it's i'm not i know you do i'm asking you how it's affected you in these relationships there's a couple there's a couple hey i had so many dads though my brothers

jumped in as a dad so i feel like i i don't know maybe so do you feel like these guys don't look up to the standard your brothers said or I mean, they got to shoot past. No pun intended. Your dad. Shoot past. My dad set the bar so low that it's like we just walk over it. You just trip over that motherfucker. It's not rage.

You don't trip. So talk about your first, if you don't mind, your first. ex-fiancee ex-fiancee how old were you and where were you and i moved to la with my boyfriend mario at the time i've talked about mario's a few of those and then we broke up and then i was out here uh i met a guy at the comedy store because i was a waitress there and And I thought he was married for some reason. So I would just ignore him. And I just kept blowing him off, which made him come out. You know, that's talk about issues.

They keep coming out. You're like, get away. And they're like, I can't. That's so hot. No, it's fucking weirdo. But anyway, we became good friends. And then we started dating. I think I was 24 at this point.

Yeah, 24. And he was great italian guy from new york named bill not a comic not a comic a booking agent okay a pa agent so uh he he has a great story he was um working at william morris at the time as a in the mail room they moved him up on a desk and as a pa and he started um working with mostly black clients because that's who was kind of getting shafted so you know when you're an assistant you take you always get those guys or people that are being you know the the honeydews if you will that are being pushed to the side thank you so these guys were being pushed to the side and it just so happened that they were black. And so Billy was booking them

and his boss got wind of it and got mad at him. He's like, there's no money in it for them. They're a waste of time. I just keep on... Kind of racist and nasty. Your dad would be like, that ain't racist at all. Well, exactly, because the guy was going speaking my language what's wrong with what he's saying he was speaking on money yeah of course he didn't

give a fuck if they were purple he didn't care he was just green yeah so he was a piece of shit and billy got mad and was like you know what fuck you and he left and started his own agency out of a garage in burbank and uh all those clients left with him and it was uh martin lawrence chris rock no wow was it really yeah tommy davidson joe tory adele givens uh def jam russell simmons had this idea holy shit yeah so he started and then years later william morris bought him back bought his company back with Mark and Chris Rock and all those guys. Like, when you see Chris Rock accept his word for bringing the pain, he always thanks Bill Branca and Stacey Mark because they were his ride or dies. They were, you know, Billy was the guy who was like, let's find out, you know, let's make money.

Roll the dice on the do. Yeah. Look at that. So he made a fortune on that. Green cashed in on that. Stacey's great. So he showed, oh yeah make money. Hold the dice on the do. Yeah. Look at that. So he made a fortune on that. Paid green. Green cashed in on that. Stacey's great. Oh, yeah.

Stacey's one of my best friends. I've known her for 100 years. She loves the goddamn comedy jam. Of course. She would so be into that. So up her alley. She's great. Yeah.

But she was his assistant. That's so cool, man. How weird is that? I love that kind of story. I love when somebody's like, nah, man, I see that these people are good. And then other people are like, nah. And it's just a matter of time. He was brilliant.

But he saw the long game. Yeah, he was an amazing agent. And he knew how to find a market and make it work. And he had white clients as well. It's just that that happened and those were his guys. He was a low man on the totem pole and working with the honeydews. Whatever. He was great. So what happened with you guys?

Here we go. He would recreationally use drugs, coke, once in a while. He never got hooked on it. Never ever really. Been doing it for 20 years. That's Richard Pryor. I've been doing it for 20 years. Really? Been doing it for 20 years. That's Richard Pryor. I ain't hooked on this.

I've been doing this shit for 20 years. I've been doing it for 100 years. I'm fine. I have no cartilage in my nose, but I'm good. I got a nostril. One. I got one nostril. There's a hole up there. I could put this chain through it.

It's a cute trick. But anyway, so he, one day. I love when you say recreationally. I love when people say that. Like, I just do it at playground. Well, because. Isn't that weird? I'm fucked up at the seesaw.

But I swear to God. I do cocaine going slip and slide. It makes it more fun. I like to do coke when a fish. You know what I'm saying? But he seriously, he never. I've hung out with him. He never.

Like, I've been with drug addicts. Like, he's never seen, but here's what happened. One of his clients, a friend of a friend, got in some trouble and he needed a place to stay. And so, of course, Billy being the bleeding heart, lets everybody stay with him, walk on him. He brings him and lets him stay. The guy was on the lam and he had in a case uh uncut pure cocaine come on how much we talked like a briefcase a couple kilos it's not my business but it's somewhere around there like it's up there it was up there this is this is this is

95 so uncut pure cocaine. 95, 96. You're talking 20, 30, 40 thousand dollars at least. You're talking 20, 30, 40 years at least. That's right. That's where I was. And I'm like, dude. You have to. Did you tell him?

I flipped out. I was like, what the fuck? So he was like, he's just going to stay here a couple days. Try a bump. It's good. Try a bump. So he did. Let's play hopscotch. He tried a bump thinking, stay here a couple days. Try a bump. It's good. Try a bump. So he did. Let's play hopscotch.

He tried a bump thinking, I'm a recreational user. I can do this. Pure cocaine. Not pure cocaine. He got hooked, Jack. Oh, that hooked him. Then he became the drug addict. Like I said, he could walk away from it, not do it for months at a clip,

and then, you know. That's all the cut bullshit that you get. I just want to take a bump and play Simon Says. I don't know what the problem is. What's the big deal? Three bumps and some duck duck goose. Girl, get in and out of here, man. Come on.

I'm just going to hit this pinata. Nobody's going to catch me when I say goose. I'm just going to ram it with my hand. I'm ready. Who's ready? Come on. Hang the pinata. Where the jafaglia? Get that pinata. I'm just going to ram it with my hand. I'm ready. Who's ready? Come on. Hang the pinata. Where the jafaglia?

Get that pinata. God damn it. But he went from on top of his game, lost everything. He did? Oh, man. Oh, man. I don't like hearing that. It just bled into work, and it just became.

It bled out his nose. Yeah. But it did. I mean, I can remember. His pockets. Yeah. Chris Rock being rock being you're telling me i don't mean i'm that that briefcase that night started his true addiction decline went from absolutely could you imagine though if you wow if you just liked it and then suddenly it's like

here is the best of the best and you have $40,000 worth of it. You're going to stay up for days. I bet the first night he had it, he probably didn't go to bed. It's like condom sex and no condom sex. Everybody knows. So you're going to say Chris Rock, you remember. Well, I remember Chris Rock being like, hey, what's going on with Billy? Like he couldn't, because no, he wasn't responding to anybody.

And I was like, it was getting worse and worse. And then his brother is a huge entertainment lawyer so his brother was calling and with concerns and we weren't at this point we weren't living together what happened was when he was going down down down we were trying to hide it as best as you could but it and the one of the craziest things that i ever did was i was washing clothes for him and uh there was a vial of cocaine at the time don't ask me why i thought i worked for csi eleanor i don't know i i was like what is this i smelt it first okay like it's cocaine an idiot who's smelling it and then i put it on my finger and tasted it and you get

high that way too tongue was numb while i was screaming at him i'm like what the fuck is this he told me he wasn't doing it and i find find this, and I'm like. Let me just double check again and again and again and again. I just got to keep checking, and I'm not sure again. But he was hiding it from me. But terribly hiding it. But then when I caught him, then he was like, no, I'm working. You know, it's hard. You know, I can't just put it down.

And then it just spiraled. Once I knew, then it spiraled and i was like fuck how long from we did an intervention we did everything you could i've been there i've done that how long from the time of that literally that briefcase till your end of your uh relationship uh i think two years because we got engaged he kept promising you know you weren't engaged yet okay he was he he we got engaged when he was doing that because he was like i'm cleaning up i'm cleaning up i'm not doing this anymore i can't believe you like literally witnessed the the fucking package that took him down on took him down the wrong way the person was around for a long time it was a working comic and just passed away like three years ago.

And people were like, Hey, did you hear? I'm like, yeah, thank God. Cause it was a secret in my, I like,

I never out at that. I wouldn't never out that person. No, but you know, that would be Billy's choice if he wanted to do that. But did you ever say anything to that comic? Oh, I would see him at the store, and I would just see, I would just,

I think he thought I didn't know. I think he thought, oh, you know, you just was dating a junkie. Like, I know we're all junkies inside, whatever. Like, I'm an addict, but. I'm an actual junkie. You're an actual. He is an actual junkie.

But here's the thing if i if i did try cocaine i probably would be like that tongue freeze i remember it it feels great yeah that's one of the reasons i never tried because i really feel like i know like shit like that listen i i you were talking about iced tea earlier. You drink that. I was ordering. I couldn't get Tetley iced tea out here. I was ordering so much Tetley iced tea from the company that I would call and they would go, Hello, Eleanor. No. The Tetley Corporation in Connecticut.

I love it. That's bad. Tetley wants to sponsor the honeydew. Because I know I'm a junk. I get the shakes if it's not me. That's like Ryan with crab meat. He's all about it. He's addicted to crab. I'll say this. I get the shakes if it's not me. That's like Ryan with crab meat. He's all about it. He's addicted to crab.

I'll say this. I've never eaten it. Of that animal. You ever had pure blue crab? Of that animal. Pure blue crab. Stone? Is it stone crab?

Hell no. Fuck stone crab. He's blue. Blue crab. You had him plenty of times. I've never had crab. You may never have it, but Philly, you can get them is what I'm saying. You mean the itches?

No, no, no. We're talking about steam crabs. Oh, I thought seafood of that animal on this planet i'm probably in the top one percent of who eating the fuck out of that thing i've eaten the shit out of those have you heard jack knight's bit about that i think i don't know if it's new so i don't want to butcher it but he uh he says his uncle taught him how to eat pussy by using crab meat and don't know if it's new so i don't want to butcher it but he uh he says his uncle taught him how to eat pussy by using crab meat and it's like if there's any crab meat left in there that bitch gonna cheat on you i'm totally butchering it but jack's amazing but yeah so that was my first and then so wait so how do you end it? How did that happen?

It went for a long time of interventions, rehabs. He did Betty Ford. I took him to Betty Ford. He was in there for 30 days. And then when he got out, I was- Did Harrison Ford three weeks later. I remember driving to Palm Springs. That was so dumb, but it was great.

He turned into Harrison Ford. Yeah, right. The drugs were so good, he thought he was him. So I was driving to Palm Springs to pick him up, and I was a wreck. And I guess I blew a stop sign or something. I got pulled over, and I told the guy where I was going, and he goes oh yeah he's never gonna get off that stuff i'm like he goes if he's the cop he goes if he's in betty ford he's it's it's worse and i was like oh and i was like whatever are you gonna give me a ticket like i was so fucking angry why would

a cop say that that makes no sense it's like why people... You're saying it like these people are good people. Anyway, no, I'm just kidding. But I get pissed off because I've had the worst cop incidences. Like, people have said the worst things. But that pissed me off. And I remember driving off. I don't know if he was hitting on me or something, weird way, you know, because it was just whatever. He ain't never going to get off.

What are you doing after? I've gotten pulled over by cops and they're like, where are you going? And I'm like, excuse me? I had a girlfriend that told me that shit. Yeah. He goes, we thought you weren't wearing your seatbelt. And I'm like, well, I am. And it was 2.30 in the morning.

I was dropping a waitress off at, what's that, Park La Brea? When I was waiting tables at the comedy store and then I was driving to my apartment. And he was like, well, where are you going anyway and I'm like home he's like where's home and I'm like why I go did I violate that I do something wrong like he freaked me the fuck out that's crazy and there was two of them the other one guy was on the other side going but why are you out this late I I just played it cool i go do you need my license registration my address is on there like i it was it was the weirdest fucking but i've had like a ton of those man yeah i'm not so i'm not a fan but uh so on your way to betty ford on my way to betty ford

that happens i pick him up and then he was in his apartment and i i moved out at this point i was living with him but i moved back in my old place to give him space because one of a friend of his brothers was like look this is what you have to do he has to learn on his own you can't enable at that point i was in the what is that called na yeah yeah and you weren't in it you no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Not narcotics. Anonymous. Al-Anon. So I had a heroin addiction. Sorry, buddy. Secondhand cocaine.

You know. Oh, yeah. I got into a big fight at Betty Ford because they were like, you know, this is a disease. And I'm like, my sister has a disease. This is a choice. Like, I was so angry. And so whatever. And I was young. I didn't know. You know. So I was so angry and so whatever. And I was young. I didn't know, you know.

So I was just pissed off. And so he was living with a guy that was from Betty Ford. Like a sober living guy? I thought that's what it was. Again, I'm very young. I have no idea what the fuck's going on. I'm sorry. An employee is living with him or just another patient?

Somebody that went through the program with him. So I thought, they'll help each other. Sure, help each other get fucked up. Get more drugs. I did not know that. Again, I come to his apartment,

his condo. I go in the condo because I still have my keys and stuff. I was checking on him and I called, nobody was answering. So I just thought, maybe he's not home yet.

I don't know so I'll just go sit wait I go in the condo uh I see one guy just sitting in a chair just zombie zombie down then my ex is just laying in the bed with his eyes I don't even know where like I never saw like exorcist they were rolled back he was He was just looking in his brain, I think. And I was like, what is happening? And then he's like, it opened his arm and I saw they were shooting up speed. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's that's the end.

Yeah. So I I didn't know what to do. I panicked and I could only think of one thing. So I called Argus Hamilton. Well, who's sober? And I thought, OK, i know this guy's a maniac but i'm gonna call him he knows about this shit and argus was like honey you gotta pack your shit and get out he's gone oh man so i did and i but i still helped i i didn't enable but i got help i

called everybody i called his sister. I called his... And thank God, right now, he's doing great. Oh, good. That's great. That's a good story. That's the beauty of it. And he has a daughter, and he has a wife, and he's happily married. He just kind of fucked up his career and fucked up...

I told a story. But I would have had 10 kids with that guy. You would have, huh? Definitely. 10, huh? Easily. Look at the smile on your face. I know.

He was so cute but yeah that was the love of my life and he just broke my heart a million pieces i told a story on the craft piece i witnessed that i didn't witness that i witnessed the aftermath of uh a friend of a friend and i had come home that night and he was just white as a ghost and he was like anthony's in there he's been doing cocaine i'm like like what do you mean doing he's in there snorting right now he's like now he's been shooting it and i had never even thought of of that before i had never seen anyone do that or whatever and when i went in that dude was so fucked up he had missed his veins for me it looked like a fucking triple homicide in there

and i was like what the fuck and shut the door and i'm not kidding 30 minutes later, that dude rolled right out of there like it was nothing. Like that didn't happen. I believe it. Like he wasn't laying in that tub. That's right. Gurgling and he couldn't talk. He couldn't look at us. And we're just like, I was like, we should call 911.

He was like, I'm not calling 911. I'm like, they don't give a fuck about this. But he refused to call 911. I'm like, that guy's going to die in there. And then while we're talking about how he's going to die, that walked out like he just took a shit yeah hey that was a tough one to get out spraying in there man i tell you well i gotta stop fucking with that taco bell man when i called argus he asked me to he specifically was like tell me what's in the room and i told him everything you know the spoon the light or the whole thing you know what everything and then he

told me what it was and he told me I had to leave. And my anger kicked in. I didn't take it out on my ex. I went outside because I have to blame somebody, you know. It's his fault. They're blaming me. Now it's his fault, right? I'm not the enabler.

It's his fault. So I picked up a baseball bat, and I fucking started swinging at that guy. And the guy was, he was so high. He was running down the hallway. And then Billy. You were swinging at the zombie dude in the chair. He wasn't a zombie anymore. Oh, I bet.

In Billy's room. You hit him on the kneecaps a couple times. Oh, I was pissed. And I was like, and then Billy was like, who's here? And he comes out with a gun. And I'm like, again, with the guns. Why is everybody drawing guns on me? It was a wild fucking, oh my God.

It was the craziest. So then how long between the end of that and the next fiance? Well, I dated a couple other guys. No big deal. That's terrible to say. They probably listened. What? I'm nothing?

Yes, you know that. No. to say they probably listen and uh what i'm nothing yes you know that now uh and then uh i got if i can take it from my dad you can take it from me that's right another person that uh was hitting on me and i was like you're married i know you're married i know your wife i know all this push push pushing away what I didn't realize is that person was going through a terrible, having a terrible time with his marriage. And he's such a loving father and husband. I've known him at that point.

I've known him since 1993, and this was 2001. You mentioned him on the podcast before. Dice, yeah. It's Andrew Dice Clay. So wait, was Dice the one that was there when your dad? Yeah. Nuh-uh. Dice saw your dad put the gun in your face?

Holy shit. Hey, I don't like that guy. I bet. He's amazing. Or Fairlane over there looking at that shit. Like, holy fuck. Brooklyn's finest. He's like, what the fuck?

Got the Dice rules jacket on, scared as shit. But you gotta understand... Oh, put the gun down. My dad does have no idea who Andrew is. I was going to say. I told you he refers to him as Cassius Clay. He's like, you still tore with Cassius Clay? I'm like, no.

He passed. No, dad, he passed. That's a different thing, dad. Cassius Clay. Yeah, so he didn't know anything about dice. And then he found out. was like hey i heard that guy's dirty girl and i was like oh material he could be he could be but yeah he never came to see it he just would we would hang out with him and then i you know andrew got used to him like

all right this guy's a fucking tart he's afraid of him we would go to their house uh my dad and his girlfriend's house and it was like and it was like everything you couldn't touch. The couches had fucking plastic on them. There was dolls that were like leaning on the wall. You only saw the back of them. They had no front. I don't know what that is. That's a fucking anal thing.

Somebody's into some weird pedophilia shit. Yeah, that's weird. She always had these creepy dolls around and shit, and now she gives them to my to my sister and i'm like i better not get any of those fucking dolls because that's scary just keep giving them to karen keep giving them to karen yeah but so so did would you say that he's going through this bad divorce you've already had a horrible breakup you sort of bond over that and connect you know what a weird connection is when i called my first ex-fiancee's sister on the plane he she was sitting next to andrew's wife oh we're all yeah and so andrew came in and he goes hey what's going on with you and bill you know um his wife was sitting next to his sister and i was like oh my god he came here with Angela that's crazy and so then I

was I had to tell them everything that was going on and that this this was again in the mid 90s so I was friends with both of them I was friends with Andrew and his wife and I'm still friends with Andrew and his wife but they were going through a nasty divorce and it was just not good are they the same wife they got back together no No, they never got back together. She's just the mother of his kids. They were together for 17 years. And you're still friendly with both of them.

Yeah, and so is he. It took me a long time to... You said his wife, so I didn't know if it was an ex-wife that they reconnected. He has three. He's terrible. He gets married all the time. But people are like, why do you two break up? You get along so well.

I'm like, well, I regained consciousness, and then I got out of it because he's a psychopath. I love him, but he's not somebody that... When we were together, we were together like four or five years, something like that. But then my best friend died. And my whole life, my whole mind, everything went. So it was my fault. I fucked up that relationship. Really?

How did he propose? This is going to sound weird, but we broke up for like six weeks. I was moving to New York. I already put a down payment on a place. I was like, I got to get the fuck out of LA. Because your friend passed and you were like, I need to get out of here. No. My friend hadn't passed at this point yet.

But it was his wife's best friend that i was moving in with in new york so it's freddie soto's wife cory her best friend in new york and i was like i just got to get out of la and freddie was freaking out he's like you're leaving what the fuck are we gonna do and uh cory was pregnant it was like a whole thing so or she had just had cruise actually something like that maybe cruise was like a whole thing. Or she had just had Cruz, actually. Something like that. Maybe Cruz was like a year or so. I forget. But because when we, this is when he proposed.

Cruz was two years old. So we broke up. Then we got back together. And I'm very close with his kids. Like I helped him get full custody of his kids he raised his kids they live with him he's pretty amazing dad I love that dude man

he's crazy but he's a good person I'd love to have him on here and his stories are ridiculous help us make it happen but he's hard to deal with he's fucking who what where please he's fucking, who? What? Where? Please. He was doing his own podcast.

He got bored. It was getting a ton of downloads. Everybody's loving it. And he's like, I'm bored with it. And I'm like, what? Bring him on here and you could guest co-host on that. He needs immediate gratification. That's what I'm saying.

It's hard. Whatever. Anyway, so I'm real close with his kids. and i remember when we got back together um he proposed and i was like i didn't break up with you to get you to propose but when he i was not returning his calls and i was at the comedy store waiting tables i was working the belly room it was very busy uh he walked in the kitchen and he was like uh he in the kitchen of a comedy story he asked me if i wanted to marry him did you get down on one knee no but like kind of and like showed the ring or and i was like um excuse me and then he's like yeah let's get married and i'm like

i gotta bring this Heineken upstairs. That was my fucking reaction. I was so scared. I was like, because again, we weren't talking six weeks. We were playing phone tag or whatever. He was calling and I wasn't answering because I was pissed.

I was still pissed. Because I'm cunty like that. If I get mad, you're out. That's it. So he's good at if he wants something he goes after it obviously you know selling out stadiums country this piece of shit so uh i'm just kidding but he would come come at you and when he goes i can't believe she just

walked away with a heineken he's in the kitchen the thai bartender is like what he want i'm like nothing he doesn't want enough what wrong with him what wrong with that he's usually happy so happy not happy what was that guy's name again huck huck yeah what the fucking eleanor he asking to marry you want to be lonely you want to be lonely? You want to be lonely? Do you? Yes. You do, huh? All by myself.

I'm going to die alone, like they said. How long were you engaged? That's a problem. We got engaged in April. Freddie died in July. Everything went to shit right after that. After that. That makes sense. So it was a weird.

And then we wound up going to vegas and whatever working it out but uh i mean i'm saying i i finally said yes in vegas uh this is a weird thing i hadn't said yes but i did agree to lunch the next day to talk it over yeah you want to and we went to this place in beverly hills and um when i got there he was talking to Sylvester Stallone. That's my beloved, what? Love of my life. Yeah, Philly's child. Philadelphia heroic man.

Yeah, he got a statue up there. And that I touch every time. So I want to touch the real thing. And I was literally, I was like, oh. And he's like, Eleanor, you know Sly? And I'm like, hey. Of course I do. Y'all had the tiger in the neighborhood, right?

Hello, Sly. I literally was shaking. Your father owned the typewriter, so I ran by it. He had that typewriter, too. Hey, Eleanor, where's the... He rocked it, too. We ran by it. I was shivering.

You just said, there's no easy way out. Rocky II, we ran by it. I was shivering. You just said, There's no easy way out. That's why I had to hide a tiger, because you had that tiger in the day. That tiger. They got the tiger for me. We got that tiger off Moles Street with your friend. Moles Street.

But yeah, it's... So I was like... We talked to Sly for a while. I congratulated him on Rocky. I think it was Rocky. Not Rocky 5. You know, the... I'm sorry, not 6. Not the last one. Rocky Balboa?

Not Rocky Balboa before that. The one where he trained Tommy Morrison? That was Rocky 5. No, it was Rocky Balboa? Not Rocky Balboa before that. The one where you trained Tommy Morrison? That was Rocky V. Then it was Rocky. No, it was Rocky Balboa. I'm sorry. That was Rocky Balboa. That came out in 2006, right?

No, then I'm wrong. Then it was earlier than that. Because this was 2003. No, 2004. It's five or six. It's one of those.'m so confused because four was this is why my brain is dead freddie died in 2005 so it had to be 2005 so he might have just finished it wrapped it and it was coming out okay because i was reading about

it and i congratulated him so you might be right yeah so you meet him and say that i say that and i'm like a nervous wreck i'm not even focused on andrew he could be on fire right i care about right at this point you brought you brought my pseudo husband to the fucking table all right wipe your ass with this fucking ring i'm going home with sly you sound like all my family oh you mean demolition, man? I'll fuck the shit out of you. Bitch, this is Rambo. This is First Blood. You keep it quiet. Johnny Rambo, goddammit. So sexy.

Anyway, so he sits with us for a while. Then we talk, whatever. And then we work together. But I remember when Sly... Did he interject? Did he help coach your... No, he just said great things about Andrew. He loves, he's a big fan.

So he would say nice things about him. And then Andrew says, it was like watching two guys jerk off. It was amazing. Touching each other. I like you. Oh, I like you. But it was me that was really jerking off

because Sly was there and I was touching myself. But he was so nice. was you know and i'm like how's your wife that whore and that bitch cheating on you those kids you still like those kids uh i'm hotter than her and you know it's just whatever so he then he left and i was like oh my god i said to andrew i go you asked me to marry you i haven't said yes and then you bring the biggest love of my life to the table are you fucking crazy he goes he ain't gonna date you I got diced at lunch.

You sure as fuck did. Motherfucker. That is great. So, yeah. But then we broke up a couple months later. It was like a year and a half later that we broke up. But you're still really tight. You still work together, don't you?

We're very, very close. Yeah, I tour with him all the time. He's helped me so much. it starting comedy working with him the first gig i did with him we were talking about this a little bit earlier about getting booed off stage and shit like that yeah so we did um i was doing stand-up like i don't know a month and he came and he saw me in the belly room like just working some shit out trying to figure it out but at that time i was really thought i was doing a one-woman show i didn't think i was doing stand-up because i was a waitress at the store for 12 years so i know what the fuck stand-up is right and i wasn't doing it that's not what i was just telling stories about my stupid family and whatnot

and um he came to see me with one of the girls I hooked him up with, because I'm good like that. When I leave a guy, I'll help you out. That's nice. You're awesome, dude. You are. You are awesome. I've hooked him up with a few people. I have.

I'm still looking. If anybody's interested, he's single. Please help. I thought he was married. Please help. Did he just have another one? Another divorce. No more marriage.

He's banned from marriage. No more marriages. He's been divorced for two years now single for two years so driving me crazy and uh so anyway we we uh he comes to see me with this girl i'm in the belly room you know you have one of those decent sets i think some guy passed out while i was on so of course i just ripped him to shreds yeah but i didn't know what i was doing i thought i was just being the dick that I've always been my whole life

but you're so good at crowd work you're so good in the spot there were six people in the audience at that point it's a conversation less than your family that was good so I I guess he liked what I

he goes you're doing stand up and at the time we had that show on vh1 the dice undisputed i think it was called when he was doing the comeback for uh giant stadium yes metal yeah i remember that i watched that yeah i was i was his fiance yeah i was gonna say i played his fiance played but yeah so we were doing that show together that was still like kind of running okay and he was like you're coming on the road with me and i'm like what like i i had three minutes of material you don't go on the road with fucking dice three minutes so i immediately took adam barnhart's class he helped me build eight minutes adam was great because he gave me stage time on Sundays and in his class and

fucking helped me break down shit and really connect and learn how to write a joke and whatever. So I went on the road with him and in California, it was great. Fucking awesome. Two great shows. I was like, all right. Then we went to New York while we were flying in New York. They canceled our show. We get to, show. We were doing Westbury Music Fair. It was just theater and around. Two veteran comics went out. There was a fight that broke out. In the crowd?

Yeah. Wild. My sister drove up from South Philly. My sister Karen, of course. She was very supportive. Your dad's like, I'll wait in the car. I'll drive you up, but I ain't going in. That guy's dirty, girl.

So he didn't go for cursing. So they take a 15-minute intermission. Then they put me on. But earlier that day, Dice is like, hey, you got to wear something cool because this is a big venue. You got to wear something sexy. Maybe like some hot pants or something. Show off your tough attitude. I'm like, hold on a second.

Hot pants and tough attitude? That's not the same. They don't go together. That's not a real thing. He's like, anything with studs on it. So I took his word because I figured he knows about costuming. And I was like wearing these short shorts and high boots and this cute little top and had this cute little half bra on underneath.

I look so girly, but it didn't help. It fucked everything up. And so I go out. As soon as I go out, they start. I say one line. I say I'm from Philly. They start booing. Fuck you to Eagle Sock, Philly.

And I'm like, motherfucker. And I was like, just trying to stay focused. But now it's 2,000 people from the front, the sides, and the back. Fucking hating you. fuck oh god that's just that's like a horrible nightmare my heart like i was like fuck and then they were like where's dice and i'm like he's up my ass you want to tickle his feet that was the one line i got out right i was so mad i've never heard that that my life that is bad fucking time i went right to the

street i was like i'll fucking fight this whole fucking room and i got angry and i kept trying to do this bit and i remember catching eyes with my sister and now they're booing stronger and now i'm three four minutes out booing's getting loud. Boo, boo. I'm sweating. I lock eyes with my sister and she throws her hands up like, what do you want to do? Fight this whole fucking room? I'll fight everybody.

Because I remember looking at her and she was like, I'll start in this section. You start over there. Take the meds from me. The Jafaglia hoes got the lower concore. All nine of you motherfuckers. The Butcheronis are coming in.

Butcheroni. I mean, it was fucking chaotic. I was sweating so bad, the cute little half bra slid down. Now it's on my stomach. It looks like I got tumors. It looks like you're stocking grocery shelves. Fuck. It was brutal.

Somebody recorded it. No. It was brutal. And somebody recorded it. No. It's out there? Somebody fucking put it on MySpace, and Andrew took it and put it on his MySpace page and said, he wrote, see, I told you guys, it's really hard to open for me. And I go, why are you fucking condoning this? You don't need to prove you're right. You piece of shit. I can take your word for it.

Yeah. But he goes, no, I just want them to know. I go, no, that fucks everything up for me. So did he get the same treatment when he went out? Oh, no, he was furious. He wasn't going to go out. He was like, fuck them. They fucking treat my family like that.

I'm not going. I go, Andrew, they didn't come here to see me. I turn into my mom. They didn't come here to see me. They came here to see you. I give him the pep talk. He goes out, has the best set i've ever seen him having his fucking life because he was so fucking mad he wants to kill everybody and then so he kills i went upstairs and called my mom and i was like karen may or may not be fighting in section c she's like that's my beer section cold beer she may or may not be killing

someone right now in Long Island you all still know how to get a hold of that tiger it's a problem but then my family calmed me down and I got booed again the next night in Jersey but more of my family was there well at least you knew how to handle it but it has been my mission

to like never get booed again like that especially like that that was brutal i can only imagine fucking crazy how long have we been doing i'm sorry it's this long don't be sorry i was about to say this is this is such a fantastic fun episode this is great oh man you were something else i mean we're close to two hours. Oh, shit. I think we're going to stop it here. We should. We're going to wrap it here because it's a great place to stop. We didn't even get to your wrestling, but you

are going to be coming on this motherfucking show anytime you fucking want. Easy riders. I'd love to have you sit in his chair sometime. Maybe y'all can flip-flop. I would love for you to tag up my life. You should definitely weigh in on Josh's life. It would be so much fun. Jesus Christ. I love youall can flip flop. I would love for you to tag up my life. You should definitely weigh in on Josh's life. It would be so much fun. Jesus Christ. I love you. I love you.

I love both of you. I mean, I love you so much. Josh, I've known longer. It's okay. But it's all love here. It's the East Coast thing. It's like Baltimore. It's true. I feel like I'm talking to family. It's the same thing. We all have the same accents. Baltimore. It's pretty damn similar.

Go get that hog. Go get that hog. I can't say thank you enough, first of all, for coming on and for opening up and sharing the story. It's not easy to talk about this stuff. I know. I'm probably going to get in a fight with the Jafaglion. Fuck.

Fuck the Jafaglion. They know they can't beat us. They know what's up. Thank you so much for coming on. One more time, please plug your, what are you going to say? Oh, I'll be at Minnesota.

House of Comedy January 17th through the 20th. And your website, where can they find that? Eleanor J. Kerrigan. That's it. Podcast.

Dot com, right? Yeah, dot com. Podcast, the Comedy Store Podcast. Oh my God, Eleanor. Yeah, I do the Comedy Store Podcast with great Rickick ingram every week we put one out some great episodes coming up so uh check that out on facebook all that shit you know and i know we have a lot of feasters here listening and we've got a lot of new fans so please go back and listen to eleanor's old

episodes they're phenomenal they're every bit as good as this fucking episode. They are my favorite fans because they made Eleanor with the butter knife when I had the fight with my friend Timmy. He got me a butter knife, a prick. Timmy Martin, I sent it to him. He was screaming, laughing. He was like, I can't believe you told that story.

You're such an idiot. I love you. And the tiger. They put me with petting tigers. I remember that one. That was fantastic that was fantastic amazing that's good next time i'll make my brother billy tell the story of the you'll shit your pants because he's his accent is so thick and him and frank you were best friends that's all right i said his name doesn't matter whatever i didn't say his last name um well thank you again so much um josh please whatever you'd like to promote

josh adam myers on all social media check out my podcast the 500 where i go through rolling stone magazine's list of the 500 greatest albums uh you can find it at the 500 podcast.com in all formats uh thanks for having me on buddy i'm gonna realize thank you for having me on, buddy. I'm Ed Blast. Thank you for having me on, too. Both of you. I am Ryan Sickler on all social media. RyanSickler.com. We'll talk to you all next Wednesday.