The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Eleanor Kerrigan - Honey Kerrigan

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

This week, my HoneyDew is the incredible Eleanor Kerrigan! Be sure to check out her new special, "No Country For Old Women," now available on YouTube. Eleanor joins us in the studio to Highlight the Lowlights of her stand-up journey, from her early days as a waitress at the world-famous Comedy Store, to opening for Andrew Dice Clay, and eventually headlining her own tours. Eleanor shares memories of her late friend and comedian Freddy Soto, a driving force in getting her started in the business, and an inspiration for her performances still today. We also dive into some personal stories, including one of Eleanor’s childhood cheerleading experiences that led to forming meaningful cultural friendships. CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour Austin, TX - Sep. 13th Dallas, TX - Sep. 14th La Jolla, CA - Sep. 20th & 21st Salt Lake City, UT - Sep. 27th Denver, CO - Sep. 28th Chicago, IL - Oct. 11th & 12th Detroit, MI - Nov. 8th Minneapolis, MN - Nov. 9th Madison, WI - Nov. 15th & 16th Portland, OR - Nov. 23rd Ft. Lauderdale, FL - Dec. 6th Tampa, FL - Dec. 7th Tempe, AZ - Dec. 20th and 21st SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187

What's up, everybody? Ryan Sickler here. And I just wanted to let you know that tickets to my fall dates of the Live and Alive tour are on sale now. Go to Ryan sickler dot com. Get your tickets to all shows. I'm coming to Austin, Dallas, La Jolla, Salt Lake City, Denver, Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis, Madison, Portland, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, and Tempe.

Tickets for all shows are available right now on my website at RyanSickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. ["The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler"] Welcome back to the honeydew. Y'all were over here doing it in the night pan studios. I am Ryan sickler, Ryan sickler.com and Ryan sickler on all your social media. And I want to say, thank you. I start every episode like this.

Thank you very much for supporting whatever it is. I do whatever it is. do. Whatever it is. I don't care what I'm doing out there if you're supporting it. I appreciate you. Whether you're new here or whether you've been here, thank you very much. And look, if you got to have more, then you got to check out the Patreon. It's called the Honeydew with y'all. I do it weekly. And it's this show with y'all. it is the craziest show on Patreon hands down. Hundreds of hours of wild stories for five bucks a month and you get the honeydew a day early ad free at no additional cost. All right. You can sign up for a year and save money doing that.

All right. I want to say thank you for your support of the way back. It's been so much fun to do this show. Tell people about it, cause it's different. This is a, this is a talk show, you know, the way back is a produce show. We're throwing people's old school photos up in there and places they grew up. And now with all the internet, you know, maps and stuff, we can find stuff.

So I'm really having fun with that. And I got a big fall leg coming up here for the tour, the live and alive tour. Uh, all tickets will be available on my website at Ryan sickler.com. All right. That's the biz. You guys know what we do over here. We highlight the low lights and I always say, these are the stories behind the storytellers and I am very excited to have this guest back

on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Eleanor Kerrigan. Welcome back to the Honeydew. I'm back. Philly's finest. I'm excited. Thank you so much. It's very nice to have you here. Have we talked about the fact that I do love Honeydew? No. Yeah. A lot of people, this is the whole thing. You don't like it, right? Yup. I love it. I wanna say this, it's... Is it a ghetto fruit?

Is that what it is? No, I don't think it's... Is it sugary? It's like the iceberg lettuce of fruit. No, no, no, no, no, no. You know what I'm saying? I hate iceberg. I wouldn't eat iceberg if you had a gun to my head.

It's just water. It's not much there. And a doctor one time told me... Cantaloupe and honeydew. See, I like cantaloupe. Took us a minute to my head. It's just water. It's not much there. And a doctor one time told me. Cantaloupe and honeydew. See, I like cantaloupe. It took us a minute to get into honeydew. Honeydew is the one. I'm saying it is a perfectly fine fruit.

Okay, good. But most people just go, eh, fuck that one. And that's who I am in life. That's the whole point. I remember my mom used to cut the little wedges. Yeah. And she'd just put us in the back, like, just go sit in the yard. But people say, oh, it's good if you wrap bacon around.

Like, anything is good if you wrap bacon around. Yeah, bacon and melon, like prosciutto and melon, that's a big Italian thing. Disgracia. See? Never heard that one. But there was a doctor one time, he was asking me about honeydew. And he said, it's only good like one month out of the year,

something like that. That's, it's only good like one month out of the year or something like that. That's when it's its best. Any other time we're getting to cut up watery, no real flavor to it. But sugar water is something I would drink. Sugar water. Sorry. Don't be sorry.

It's early. Don't be sorry. But that's something I would drink. I mean, we used to make the sugar sandwiches. We're a problem. Wait, you made sugar sandwiches. Hold on. Okay, sorry. Please promote everything. Right now, promote your special.

No Country for Old Women. It's on YouTube. It's on the Comedy Story YouTube channel, but it's also on my YouTube channel because we're just trying to get- Go watch it on Eleanor's YouTube channel. We need as many eyes on it as possible. It's such a good name for a special. Thank you. No Country for Old Women is hilarious. And I hope it holds up. I think it's funny. I'm proud as possible. It's such a good name for a special. Thank you. No country for all women.

And I hope it holds up. Hilarious. I think it's funny. I'm proud of it. It's really funny. Good. I love you. Thank you.

But I literally was so specific, like with doing it in the original room at the comedy store and then I show up and I'm all excited. Like, all right, this is the day. I came early. I'm going to get my hair and makeup done. You know, I'm going to look like a girl. It's amazing. I'm all excited, like, all right, this is the day. I came early, I'm gonna get my hair and makeup done. You know, I'm gonna look like a girl. It's amazing, I'm excited. They're gonna fix the adams.

Anyway, we're in. The adams. Ah! The adams. We shaved those out, guys, and we're good. And I'm like, all right. And I'm tucked and I'm excited. And I go, I pull up and I'm like, what the fuck?

Who did the name? And then I go up and I'm like, what the fuck? Who did the name? And then I go in and on the production, everybody's there working and I go, hey, who put my name on the marquee? They go, no, your name's on the marquee. I go, yeah, yeah, who did that? And they go, oh, we don't know. I go, cause they didn't do it right.

You know, like, is that really? And we go out and there's letters missing. No. I'm not kidding. What was it? It's like E, L, they're missing an E, missing an N, missing an R, and then missing parts of Kerrigan.

And I go, and they're dying laughing. And I go, what the fuck? There was a windstorm the night before. Oh no. And it blew the letters off. Only me. Of course. Only me.

Like we're not in Chicago, this is LA. Yeah. How windstorm. Santa Ana's came through. Said fuck her. Throw shit away. Oh my god. It was so funny and and everybody's filming it. My my uh director Lexi got the drone out. She's like we gotta get it. I go it's awful. So we left it in the opening. That's and we left it up there the whole time people were running up. Good for you. My friends were texting me and they're like, your name's on the marquee. Kind of?

Good for you. I love the E. Lee did to it. But it was funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who cares? It's silly. Of course, if it was a mistake, but I thought like, you know, because I worked there so long, I thought, oh, it was a door guy that's like, fuck this, his name's too long. I'm not finding the rest of these vowels. How many fucking R's this bitch have in her name? Yeah, it's a fucking magic. Is it curr? We got two R's.

Is it curr again? Is it r? That's how they say it on the East Coast anyway. Hey, curr again. It's not a U, it's an E. What's happening? Oh, god damn. Tell me about sugar sandwiches, and then we're really

going to talk about what I want to talk about. What do you mean? You used to just make sugar sandwiches back in the day? Yeah, so. Tell me about sugar sandwiches, and then we're really gonna talk about what I wanna talk about. What do you mean? You used to just make sugar sandwiches back in the day? Yeah, so me and my brother, Chow, first of all, you know, I've been on here a million times. I've met Chow.

Oh yeah, the best. I've met him. The best. You can see him smoking. I was at my mom's house right now. That's what the best is. Like, you came and worked with me in Philly. Yeah.

I made sure, I was like, everybody was there. And Chow came with me. He was there. I was like, go watch Eleanor. Trust me, go watch Eleanor. And then everyone loves you. You crushed at the Netflix show we had. Oh my God, that was so, by the way, you crushed.

Your new hour is unbelievable. Like I don't sit and watch comics. I can't. I know you don't. I get crazy, cause it's funny. I even said, are you leaving? Are you out of here? I'll see you later.

I'll catch y'all later. I'll see you at the store. Yeah, yeah. But no, it was just, I was like, are you leaving? Are you out of here? I'll see you later. I'll catch y'all later. I'll see you at the store. Yeah, yeah. But no, it was just, I was like, let me sit. Let me just, you know, I'll see if I can take it. And it's not that I can't take it. It's just that from waiting tables so long, it gets in your head.

And I'm like, I don't want to cross over. I don't want to pick something up. I'm like a chameleon. I don't want to do that. Cause I could recite comics acts from when I waited tables. I bet. I always wondered about that. Verbatim.

Watching the waitresses come in and out and just picking up those chunks of what they're hearing and they can repeat it. One of the first things I bonded with Rogan on was he caught me doing this. This is kind of embarrassing, but funny. So they'd be like, you know, customers that come in, they'd be like, hey, so who's on the show tonight?

You know, like trying to be, and I get the line up and I go, right here, you're gonna wanna go to the bathroom for a while. You would tell them that? Right here. Right here, not saying it. Even if you don't smoke, go smoke. Pick it up.

And Jo was like, why? Like she's crushing at these tables, right? And the people didn't know what I was saying. Then later they'd be like, yo, you were right. We stayed for that one person and they were fucking terrible. And I go, it's like a robot on stage. They have an act. This is it.

If you throw a tomato at them, they're going to wait and they're going to go right back to the act. Right back to the act. Yeah, yeah. Bing, bing, bing, like nothing happened. And so I could literally, like, it was like a rhythm. Like I could, you know, put my drinks down to their rhythm, whether it's good or bad, but I knew them all. And then I was working the potluck and I started to learn theirs and I'm like,

get no more Sundays, get out. That's it. Like your brain is just mush. I shouldn't know Homeless People's Act. I shouldn't. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, so, but Joe caught me doing it and he was like, what do you say about me? And I'm like, I say good things about you.

He's like, don't you know? I was like, yes, I do. Like you're one of the ones I say stay for, but other ones I'm like, and then they started weeding those people out because they were older. It was just, because if people don't change with it, if comics don't change with the times, then it's not our fault. You know what I mean?

Like you got it. Like people were like, how come Dom I Rara is still good spot? Dom I Rara is not only one of the funniest comics to ever do it, but it still fucking keeps up with the Joneses, if you will, and still sells tickets, so. And got to do his act in the Big Lebowski. Without internet. Yeah, he did.

Got to do his material in the Big Lebowski. He's so good. You know me, I can't complain. I can't complain. Ah, he's driving the Big Lebowski. In the rear view, so good, so good. I would take that all day long. All day. I only gotta work all day long. All day.

I only got to work one day. Yeah. You got me. And I could do my bit. Yeah, I could do my bit. I don't have to show up as myself. Hilarious. I don't need makeup.

Let's roll. He's like the old school-ish, like a real comic. Like he turns down movies because he's playing, you know, a shit hole in Jersey. He doesn't care. It's comedy first. So whatever. But I'm just saying like he was one of the ones we'd run in to watch. And so Sugar Sam's whatever growing up. I don't know how we got. First of all, thank you for watching me and saying kind words.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I appreciate it. Could you literally. That was nice of you. But I'm like, whoa, and it's a story. It's like engrossed, like you're into it. You're fucking, and then you fucked us up with some shit. But we're not gonna bring that up. That's good. I am gonna bring it up, because it doesn't matter. We did these two light cues to fuck around.

And- Don't do that at the comics, man. I had no idea. I saw people, like I started laughing because it's just ridiculous to do that in a standup show for these moments, you know? And I'm still talking while the lights are out. And I just see two people running up

with their cell phone lights. I'm like, no, it's fine. It's fine. We're gonna keep this going. Yeah, and then later I find out, I've been telling people too, cause what you told me was so funny. You're like, we thought right at that moment,

the fucking power went out. We're back there shitting on the place, like they're gonna fuck him like this on his Netflix. Oh, this is Netflix, bitch. So this is how we're gonna light it. We're the there shitting on the place. Like they're gonna fuck him like this on his Netflix. Oh, this is Netflix, bitch. So this is how we're gonna light it. We're the gaffers. No idea that it was scheduled. That's why I love you.

Two of us running up. You're filling to the bone, girl. I love it. And Daniel Van Kirk. Yeah, Daniel ran off too. Chicago running up. Two of us. And he went first.

And I was like, is that what we should do? And I didn't know what you feel after the show. You're like, that was us. I'm like, oh my God. cause it's so dark at that point. Part of me thought, should I go to the other side? He needs a bed, he can't be just lit on one side. Wait, you guys are gonna hold the light, we were only like five minutes in.

That was gonna be us. We got you. How long you doing? Hey man, how long is this story? This is gonna be a minute. This is gonna be a minute. This is gonna be a minute. Can you turn it outside? Dude, my arm, my arm is hurting.

I gotta switch. And then you got to meet Tara, who I wanted you to meet. I love Tara. Who I love, yeah, yeah, you brought up low lights. I might get some highlights and low lights. Yeah, she's a good one. She's the best. What's up, Tara?

What's up, Tara? Sugar sandwiches. So yeah, as a kid, like, you know, there's 10 of us in the house, just six boys. So they're just, they eat anything they see. And so my brother, Charlie, came up with this concept, the white bread, and then you pour sugar in there and just roll it and eat it. And we were like, I was like, this is fucking delicious. He used to do it with tomatoes and mayonnaise.

Well, first it was just mayonnaise because tomatoes were expensive, whatever. But if we had tomatoes, that was like gourmet. Really? Oh yeah, Charlie ate those. I don't even think he can eat it now, like, because we ate expensive, whatever. But if we had tomatoes, that was like gourmet. Really? Oh yeah, Charlie ate those. I don't even think he can eat it now, like, cause we ate it so much. I'm definitely, you'd have to- It worked against him.

It'd be hard to eat a sugar sandwich, but tomato mayonnaise? Charlie was like, dude, might as well call me a royal. Shit. Like, put him in the royal family. Yeah, he was, he was, he makes grilled cheese for my mom with tomatoes now. And then, and he's really good at it. My mom says, you're a good cook.

Yeah, cause we were figuring it out when we were kids. I think a lot of people that didn't have money growing up that had to make shit at home got good at it. And she's working two jobs. And are pretty decent cooks, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, early too. It blows me away, away like that we were ever lighting kerosene

and propane on the gas tanks for the grill and pouring gas and shit in a lawnmower at like 10. You know what I mean? Like I would never let my kids do that shit. Really? Not this age now, no, no. Yeah, 10 now, like if I hang out my nephew and he's gonna be 13,

like during the pandemic, I drove cross country and he was like eight. So he was, it was the beginning, he goes to school in a different neighborhood, so he didn't have any friends. So I was like starting gangs for him. And to this day, he still hangs with a lot of those kids. And I'm like, that's my gang, bitch.

That's my gang. Did they have a name? No, no, but just- You start a little crew those kids. And I'm like, that's my gang, bitch. That's my gang. Did they have a name? No, no, but just- You start a little crew. And they would always be like, who's the elderly woman in the back? And I'd just be whizzing a football, like drilling it in my nephew's stomach.

And he's like, yeah, it's on the dime, man, hell's on the dime. And I'm like, hilarious. I almost got my brother Billy killed, his father, because we were playing and I start there was other kids from other neighborhoods like we whatever they were a little bigger they were playing and my brother Billy's like you only get better if you play with bigger kids you know bigger so true so we played and and his name is comrade my nephew and he goes all right all

right anything and I go I'm gonna steady, I'm going to steady QB. And Billy was steady QB for the other team. Right. So these kids were afraid to tackle me and, um, they're a little bigger. They were like almost my size, but they're like 13, whatever. Yeah. Little erection, you know what I mean? Like cute.

And so this little black kid goes, I don't, I'm afraid to touch her. little erection, you know what I mean? Like cute. And- Cute. Cute. Cute. So this little black kid goes, I'm afraid to touch her. And I go, oh, you ain't gonna catch me. And he goes, what? Like he was like, bitch, you know? And he caught me and he was pulling my pants. My pants came down.

I was like, you can't get me down. And he's like, her pants are down. Like- Your ass is out, but my knees didn't touch. But my knees didn't touch. But my knees didn't touch. I connect it. That's a 12 yard completion. My nephew was like, in hell.

And I was like, who cares? Like, how embarrassing. Like, did she, her pants down? Okay. Yeah, first down, motherfucker. Look at the little pants off. We're all down, bitch. Touchdown, motherfucker.

Yeah, he was like, I'm tired. Like he was trying so hard. I go, you don're all down, bitch. Touchdown, motherfucker. Yeah, he was like, I'm tired. Like, he was trying so hard. I go, you don't know me, motherfucker. You don't know me. I run right out of my pants for a six yard game, bitch. It was so good. And then Billy got tackled. He's like, what the fuck?

I go, you were never good on your feet. Never good, never good. Oh my God. But I was always a quarterback, so I was like that. Oh, it was so good. Billy was like, stop doing this shit, man. And I was like, that's fun. And then my nephew got hurt tackling

and then we stopped. They're like, all right. But I was like, whatever, he's gotta fucking toughen up. Cause you're right, cause they're so, you know, a 10 year old now, eight year old, whatever. At eight, I was going on 22, you know, we were in the streets. We didn't have the lawnmower. I'm not saying it's a good thing or anything like that, but it just was what it was.

If your parents were split, you were fucking definitely a last key kid and you were taking care of yourself and the best. People just coming in and out of your place. Oh yeah, people used to say you need a revolving door. You just call it Grand Central Station. It became that later. Yeah, high school, that's what that was. Oh, okay. Once we didn't have parents, people were like, they would just jump up on the roof because

you could pop the bedroom window open. Oh, wow. And me and my brothers would come home from our grandmother's and I'd walk in, I'd be like, there'd be 10 people in there. I'm like, what the fuck are y'all doing here? Like, Derek let us in. I'm like, did he?

I'm like, hey Derek. Derek would come in from outside. I'm like, this Derek right here? Like, Todd let us in. I'm like, did he? Hey Todd. And Todd come up like, this Todd right here? Really?

Oh, so it was a party set. Oh, ours was open, but who would rob it? There's always 30 people. Yeah, we had nothing to steal. The one, there's nothing in there. You're right, there's a bunch of people there all the time. Yeah, there's so many. I'm not gonna, all right.

Let's talk about what we should talk about. I wanna talk about no country for all women. Yes, it really isn't. Can I ask you how young you are? How young I am? I'm very young. How young are you? I don't know.

I always mess up my age, but I'm 52. Are you 52? So let's just say it. You're great, Eleanor. Let's just say it out loud. 52. Yeah, because 10 years ago I was old, now I'm dead. So we're gonna-

10 years, I know, right? And so do a lot of people see this? I can't believe I just said it out loud. Cause here's the weird thing, I don't feel that. Like I still go home and play football, like I'm an idiot. I'm gonna get hurt. I think it's Sigoura. I just said the thing, yeah.

I always think of Sigoura. Cause I'm like- There was this nice lady that saw me with my daughter this weekend in Sephora. She's like, Ryan Sickler? You know what I mean? I'm like, this is my daughter. I'm not in Sephora.

I got a J.B. out of this. Even Stella said, of all the places to meet you, I go, yeah, well, if I wasn't here with you, I'm not in Sephora. And she said she was just watching that episode of when Tom wrecked himself. And I was like, yeah, I think about it a lot. Because I'm the same way. Just because I play hard. But also my mind still thinks we're 25. My knees and my back are like, no, we're fucking not. Yeah. You know, and neither is the day after that day. Yeah, that's a sorry reminder.

And my brothers were, you know, they're a little, the older ones were like, always coming out and playing with us. And now they don't, they're like, and I'm like, I don't want to get to that. I don't want to get to that, but they don't, I work out, like they don't work out, you know what I mean? Like they're just normal people that go to normal jobs and you know, their workout is work. And so they come home and just whatever.

But I still like try to exercise because we're always on the road flying all that shit. You gotta kind of keep limber and shit, I tore with dice. He's 66, like we're just two elderly people in the airport. You are. Sorry. You are. It's great. You are, yeah. But he doesn't- I love your,

I watch your videos nonstop. He doesn't It's great. You are, yeah. But he doesn't- I love your video. I watch your videos nonstop. He doesn't feel it either. And we fight in the streets and we're arguing and we're chasing each other down the path. Like he's a toddler. That's good to hear.

He's 66 and doesn't feel it. He's a toddler. Good. A full blown, bothering people in the streets in New York. Like- I love it. He's like- He's banned from a few places.

He's banned from a few places. Is he banned? Is he? I got the new iPhone, the guy goes, good for you. Yeah. They just don't give a fuck. It's the best. I love when they have no idea who he is.

It ruins it when they know who he is. The whole bit is the best. And then he has to take pictures and it's so fun. But he does too for them take pictures. But there's a lot he films that people know him and he don't put them out because it's just it's it's not as funny. Yeah, it's not. But people always say, look, I don't think he was that humble.

I'm like, he's always been like, you know, yeah, he's got the attitude. But that's to make it in this bit. That's the character he created. Tickets to my fall dates of the Live and Alive tour are on sale now. Go to RyanSickler.com, get your tickets to all shows. I'm coming to Austin, Dallas, La Jolla, Salt Lake City, Denver, Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis, Madison,

Portland, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, and Tempe. Tickets for all shows are available right now on my website at RyanSickler.com. You know, now there's the other, like somebody stopped us the other day and he goes, oh, I love the videos. He goes, oh yeah, the other character. They're all characters. It's just him being silly and having fun. And then us arguing 99% of that is real. And then, I mean, if we're chasing each other, running or something stupid like that,

he will just start filming if we get in trouble or we've gotten chased out of abandoned places, like weird stuff. Those are older, but still, we'd still do it like that. We were just doing it in Phoenix Saturday. So, so what do you think like in this business now? So Dice is obviously, look, I, I just talked about Dice on Barry Katz podcast, like that dude sold arenas out before internet.

No internet. Like, do you know how popular you'd have to be for people just to keep handing cassettes or CDs over and over going, listen to this, watch this, listen to this. You're gonna die. Two arenas. One would have been amazing. One. One.

But just Madison Square Garden alone would have been amazing. Yeah. Wait, I saw them. I still have this ticket. It's the spectrum. It's right out there. The Cap Center in D.C. I went and saw him.

He sold it out. He sold it out. So you're talking now. That's the other thing you're talking about. Madison Square Garden, the spectrum and Capitol Center. That's New York, Philly, D.C. Yeah, that's all close. Any diehard fan would drive D.C.

to New York or D.C. to Philly. Easy. We used to go to Philly, easy. We used to go to Philly for shows. So what a huge thing. And to be 66, still in it. And what's weird is Saturday, and I didn't know this, but I mean, I knew, like he tells the stories we've done like documentary stuff like that,

but like celebrity theater was the test theater. So after he did the Rodney special, he said, put the celebrity theater on sale and it sold out in minutes. And then they bumped up to the arenas. But, and yet, Saturday we did that room. You did. Again, and it was so, and he goes,

I haven't been here in so long. Like he was so excited because, you know, he went to arenas, he came back down to that excited because, you know, he went to arenas. He came back down to that, like, you know, normal. Everyone's coming back down eventually. Yeah. You can't do it. I can't sustain that. It's craziness.

And then also he was being like, um, ousted, like, you know, they were like, he's this, he's that, he's the evil. Oh yeah. Even now they did a, I don't even want to promote it, but it was a documentary that they were just picking people, what was it called? Oh yeah, even now they did a, I don't even want to promote it, but it was a documentary that they were just picking people, what was it called, Dark Side of Comedy or something. Oh, I've seen those, yeah. So he's calling me, he's like, you know, we want to talk about like the real, the dark

side of it, you know, this, that, and I go, no I'm not. Come on to Honeydew and talk to me, don't be talking to the dark side. I'm not doing it, bitch, no. I'm not going on and talking shit about my friend. And also, if you didn't like his material back then don't listen You all have options especially back then now if you're listening to it, you're just and you're getting offended by it You're just an asshole. You are you're just an asshole. That's 30 years ago. Go fuck yourself All right. So tell me sorry as a woman in comedy. Yes. How do you see your snow for no country for all women?

as a woman in comedy, how do you see your snow for no country for all women, how do you see yourself moving forward and staying relevant in this business as an aging lady? I think the same thing of myself as a aging dude. What are you gonna do? What do you think? But first of all, I didn't know I was relevant, so I'm excited.

Please. No, I'm kidding. But you know what I'm saying. Listen, I wanna say this too. You know, I love you. You're like a cousin from another fucking family. Yeah. You just are. Immediately when I met you, I was like,

I'm related to him, right? We gotta be related. He's gotta be in the family. There's so many of them. There's loads being dropped everywhere. And I love Miss Pat and I, and- Oh, Miss Pat's great. Oh, I love her.

But I think that you're a version, another type of Miss Pat that people need to know about. Yeah. Your stories. I love that. Your life. She's awesome. Like she's got her, I mean, her own unique story. There's nothing touching that.

But every story is different and you've got your own as well. And I just want to see more of you. I love it. I saw you on Rogan. I love this. I just want to keep seeing you more. You deserve it. Thank you. I appreciate it.

But I think Ms. Pat as well started late and I started late. Well, you did, but you were fucking, sounds like you were in the minor leagues out there serving the drinks. Well, yeah, for 12 years, I waited tables at the store and at the end of my special, I do talk about that. Yeah. And at the end of my special, I talk about about that. Yeah. And at the end of my special, I talk about-

Oh, her peers careers don't last that long. I'm telling you something. I was trying to be an actress. Nobody would let me. And I was doing plays in LA. They're like, are you a target? Were you wrestling when you were at the store? Absolutely.

I talk about all that at the end of the special because it was silly, but also it's like, cause I say I'm gonna really fuck myself. I've been in that building, the Comedy Store building for 30 years. God. I say all the time, I hope nothing happens to you. But it's my whole adult life. You're the last historian of that place.

You really are. I moved here when I was 21 and it's my whole adult life in that fucking building. I was a waitress and then just auditioning. Then I was Mitzi's assistant, then auditioning, auditioning, auditioning. And I got the wrestling thing, which I thought was like, going to be a big exciting, you know, I'm going to be the next Meryl Streep.

I don't know what this is. Easy Rider. But what? Because I thought almost like the Glow TV series, I really thought, okay, this is a part. Like the wrestling didn't even come into, I'm thinking show, it's about wrestlers. I didn't even think about, oh, you're going to have to fucking wrestle. So I was just talking shit. And when I got the job, I was like, Oh, this is like a, a word

like that. Well, we're going to wrestle in a ring and alive and they're going to film it. Audition wise, you never wrestled or anything for it? No, nothing. Wait, nothing? Not even a, can you do a clothesline or do you get, you didn't even get in a ring? I can street fight, I can street fight. But the two ladies, Selena Majors and Peggy, I always call her Peggy Lee Leather, Peggy Fowler, was, they were our trainers. And Peggy passed away this year, which is devastating.

She's the sweetest, nicest lady in the world. And Selena was her best friend. So these two ladies were professional wrestlers and they've been in it for a long, long time and they were training us. So I was making them laugh as they were testing me to see if I could sit on the wall, you know, that kind of thing.

They're like, you see if you're athletic enough to sit on this wall, my cigarettes are falling out of my pocket and Selena's dying. Peggy's like, oh, this one's a treat. This one's a real treat. And then every time I would say something, they go, do what now? Because they were like hardcore. They wrestled in Japan. They wrestled all over.

They were friends with everybody. So I was like just making them laugh. And that's why they kept me. I had zero athletic. I mean, I played sports, but at that point I had been out of, you know. Did the other ladies hate you and resent you because of that one to fuck you up more in there?

No, none of them could wrestle. We all got trained. Oh, none of you. Oh, really? No one came in knowing how to wrestle. No, same thing with Glow. We all got trained. Oh, none of you? Oh, really? No one came in, no one had a wrestle. No, same thing with Glow. Those girls, they barely trained them. We got really trained.

And we were training at the Forum in Inglewood. So they're throwing me around and shit. I remember I had a dizzy spell. I went down and I was like, whoa, what's that? And I had water in my ear or something, which is amazing. They made me go get a CAT scan and I was waiting tables at night, you know, and I'm just like, I might faint. I don't know. I did it earlier and then I'm putting shit down, but my CAT scan came back fine. And then there was this gangster that used to hang out at the store and he goes,

it's water in you. You got water in your ear and it's going to go the same way it came. That's it. And I was like, thank you. Thank you so much, Ronnie. And I walked away. I was just like, that's a real person that just diagnosed. And then I go to the doctor, they go, yeah, you have water in your ear. I'm like, shut up.

So funny. Because he said it, immediately looked at me, fucking assessed it. I told him what happened and he, that was what he, and I was like, these are my people. They know. Street smarts right there, yeah. But it did, and then it went away, whatever. But we trained in the back of the forum, which was, I always say how much I loved it, because we would run around the forum and the sparks would be training.

At that point, the Lakers had moved, just moved to the staples. So, cause this was 99, we were training and then 2000 it came out. And, um, so I'd see Michael Cooper was the coach and Lisa Leslie, like it was exciting. And people were like, you know, I don't know them, but I know them. You know, I watch, but none of the girls, most of the girls weren't even athletic. They, this was all new to them. You know, they might work out a little, but. So you spent 12 years waiting tables.

Yeah. When do you reciting makes the leap? Well, I know, I know, I always talk about this, but when Freddy Soto passed away, Freddy Soto was my best friend. And when he passed away, he would always be like, you should be doing comedy. A lot of the comics would say that, because I would hold court in the kitchen

or fuck around at the tables and make people laugh, whatever. But I was just working a tip. Like Dice used to tease me, he goes, uh-oh, there's a whole bunch of boys here, look at her, she's gonna lean in, rinse too, you know? And I mean, he would say it from the stage. Everybody saw what I was doing. Like they would always, I rarely used to fuck with me.

He was like, yeah, yeah, Eleanor has a fungus on her fingers. So you enjoy your drinks, guys. It's fine, she does a lot of, like, you know, they're just trying to get me back for, you know, making them laugh at the table, whatever. So we all were good friends. And so now, weighting tables, whatever. So we all were good friends. And so now, waiting tables, I forgot what we were talking about.

I asked you what you made the leap. Oh, Freddie. Yeah, see, I like to block it. So when he passed away, he was 35. And it just hit me. It just, it just fucking, like a ton of bricks said, fuck you, bitch. And then, you know, you see your life and you're like, oh, I'm not an actress. I And then, you know, you see your life and you're like, oh, I'm not an actress. I'm like, you know, the wrestling was gone by then. And he was 35 years old. Like it was, and he was hilarious. Like if you guys Google Freddie Soto, you'll laugh, you'll fucking love it. And so about a year and a half later, like I was just trying to figure it out. I had just gotten engaged to Dice when he passed. I mean, it was maybe like two months we were engaged and then I just zoned out.

And then my grandma passed away and so it was just too much. And so I started thinking about like, what are you doing with your life? You know, I'm a mom, I'm a stay at home mom kinda, two kids and I'm like, I know they say labor pains, you forget them, but I don't remember this at all. But Andrew had full custody of his kids, so I was always with the kid, taking them to school, waiting tables at night, you know what I mean? Like it was weird. I know I'm still close with them, I love them, you know, whatever, but it was just weird.

It was just hitting me in a weird way. And then I ruined my relationship with him, but we were good. He was cool. He understood I was going through some shit. So that's why we stayed so close. And then, you know, we just like basically like, okay, cool, we're breaking up.

Is that cool? Like that's how we broke up. We just hit pound it and walked away from each other. But he, you know, we would come support anything I did. So I was like, Hey, I called him. I said, I'm going to go to the comedy store, work this one woman show out. I had this whole idea for this woman show about my crazy fucking family, how I grew up. And then I called Mitsy shore and I go, Hey, I'm going to come and I'm going to do in the belly room. Is that cool? Perfect. That's great.

That's what that belly room is for. Good. I'm excited. So great. I got permission from Mitzi. I got Andrew because I didn't want him to think I'm stalking him. Now I'm going to start doing stand up after we break up. But it wasn't stand up. It was a one woman show.

And then he came to see it with this girl that I had hooked him up with. Anyway, when I get rid of people, I'm like, hey, look, I fucked up. Take this. Anyway. Take this. These are gifts. I fucked up.

I apologize. I'd give good consolation prizes. That would be wonderful. Yeah, he thought I was nuts. He's like, she's fucking great. The girl he's with now, I set him up with. And they've been together almost five years. It's amazing. So I'm good at this. But not for me, but for everybody else. And so then he came to see it and he was like,

you're doing stand-ups, stupid, because he's a charmer. And then he took me on the road. But I was three months into comedy. What's the moment you realize, I can do this? It's different from the moment you realize, I don't know how to fucking really wrestle. You know what I'm saying? You know how to do this.

When is the moment you're on stage, or are we going where you're like, all right, this is it. I mean, this is working more than it's not. I mean, we, nobody bats a thousand. Right. And you probably do though. You probably. No, no.

I, at the beginning when I, Andrew was a, when Dice was like, all right, look, it's stand up, like just work on, you know, we're going to go on the road. He goes, I'm giving you three months and then we're going on the road. And I was like, okay. So I'm like going up as much as I can. I was working at a're going on the road. And I was like, okay. So I'm like, going up as much as I can. I was working at a furniture store during the day. You were? I was a little lonely.

And doing gigs at night. It's still at the store at that point? Yeah, and a pizza place. No, I quit the store. I quit the store when I got engaged. And then when Freddie passed. That was it. That was it. And that was, I quit the store in like April and Freddie passed in June or July 10th, sorry, and his birthday is in June, but he passed in July 10th, on July 10th, 2005. And so it was just, everything was just all blurry, I guess. And so like, when you get that clarity, you're like, all right, I can do it.

So when Andrew said, I'm going to take you on the road, I'm like, okay, okay. Okay. I'm going to do it. I'm going to make Freddie proud and I'm going to go on the road. And Andrew took me on the road and we did some places in New York. At the time we also, cause we were seeing each other. We had a reality show. I remember.

Right. So it was Dice on Dispute. And it was only on for like a few episodes and he didn't renew it or do anything because he, the, it was a lot of over few episodes and he didn't renew it or do anything because it was a lot of over producing. And he was like, you're not letting me do what I want to do, which is what he's doing now in the streets basically, but being silly and goofy and doing all this stuff. And we were doing those videos from years ago and they didn't want it like that.

So whatever. So we did the produce thing and he was like, look, we're on TV together. If we go on the road, it's great. Do people know you? They know me. It's great. We'll have fun. We did the state theater. I mean, I'm sorry, not the state theater, the Wells Fargo Center in Northern California. It was great. Packed. Killed. I couldn't believe it. Another one, I go out. And you're going out to big crowds right away. It was packed.

Yeah, how big is that? The Wells Fargo was, I wanna say 21 or 2200. And I'm just like, ha ha ha ha. And they're like, Alador. And that gave me the confidence cause they knew me from the show. So I was like, okay. And then the next night we were at this like makeshift place.

It was like a tent and it looked like a slide. People were like sat all the way up, like stadium seating, but straight. And so I was like, all right. And the electricity went out for real. Not some bullshit. Nobody came up with lights. So Andrew pulled it. I was already on stage when it happened.

So Andrew goes, get off, get off, get off. So I get off, took him an hour to fix it. The people stayed, drank. In the dark? It was the mic was out. Oh, just the electric. So the sound went out. And so the people stayed, they're serving them drinks, nobody left. And Andrew goes, all right, we're just going to have wheels go on because this is going to be too hard. This is, you're too new at this.

And then I go, no, no, I'll go. Fuck yeah. Who are you? And I remember I had Freddie, I always keep Freddie Soto's picture in my pocket and I rub it. And so I was rubbing it and the opening act wheels, the other feature act, he came over and he goes, even Freddie can't help me now. I love comedians. The other feature act, he came over and goes, even Freddie can't help you now.

I love comedians. Motherfucker. And I'm like, what? I'm okay, you know what? Are you sure? I'm walking out right now. I went out and it went okay. It wasn't terrible.

It wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible. It could have been, like, yeah, sure. I got through it and Andrew was like, you, the ball's on you, the ball's on you. And then, Wills did okay. By the time Andrew got up there, they were wasted, some lady threw a drink at him. Oh, they were probably gonna shit right there.

They were fucking blacked out. They were like, I can't even believe we did the show, but I only did like five or six minutes, but still I was like boom, boom, boom. Then Wills came out and did, Andrew calls it the fabulous seven. Like but still I was like boom, boom, boom. Then at wheels came out, did, Andrew calls it the fabulous seven. Like he's just boom, boom, boom, boom. And then he went out.

So it was like, we kept it tight in the beginning just to get Andrew out there. And then, yeah, the lady threw a drink at him because he was calling her name, whatever. It's so funny. So Freddie never saw you get to do, never got to see you do stand up. Oh, that hurts my heart.

I know it's awful, but his dad did. Oh, he did. And Freddie's dad was, most of Freddie's material. He came and he saw me in the belly room. And at this point he had real bad throat cancer, I believe. And the guy's coming to see you? He came with Freddie's- Would you go see anybody with bad throat cancer?

Hell no. And Ms. Anna, Freddie's mom was there. Would you go see anybody with band for okayism? Hell no. And Ms. Anna, Freddie's mom was there and I was just, the fact that I got to perform for both of them and they were like, Freddie would love this. His mom was so soft spoke, Freddie would love you. So excited for you. You know, cause they live in El Paso like right by the border. And so,

And they're flying here to see you? So sweet. Oh, and he's dying? I'll be honest, they probably came to see Cruz, Freddie's daughter and Freddie's wife, Cory. I see. But still. So, they were probably up, but they were like, oh, you could go to the store. And Cruz was a baby at that point. But this is four years after Freddie died when they came.

So, Mr. Soto was like, he couldn't talk too much, but he was like, and he passed away on Freddie's birthday four years after Freddie passed away. Damn. How weird is that? Four years to the date. And so they would come and see Cruz a lot, you know, they were helping. It was crazy. It was mayhem. She was a single mom, you know, it was a mess. And so Cruz is doing great by the way. She just, she's at college and doing killing it. And anyway, so, so, so then we went to New York after I did that, what the crazy

tent or whatever that was, and then we went to New York and our show got canceled. And then I'm with dice fans in New York, like the ultimate Dice fans. And we're in Long Island, it's a theater in the round. And yes, Pampa, the doggie's just, she don't like it either. You're not going to like the rest of this story at all. You're going to hate it. Get that bark up. Here we go. And so it was in the round and I wore this cute little outfit because Andrew was like,

you should dress like, show them your tough attitude, you know, wear like something like a cute little skirt or short shorts. And I'm like, that's not going to show my tough attitude. It's going to show my labia. Like, I don't understand. I'm 34 years old. Like, what am I doing? So I had high boots on and I had these short shorts and I had a cute shirt with a half bra. And I'm on stage and I say I'm from Philly and immediately they boo, fuck the Phillies, fuck the Eagles. And I mean like heavy, all the way around.

I feel like I told this story a million times, but whatever, I'm gonna keep telling it. And so, cause it still hurts. And they were booing hard. You're getting it from here. From the back. Yeah. Here.

You're getting a boo on the back of your head. Who's that? Who's that? You know, they were like, fuck you. And my sister Karen drove up. Oh, this is awful. This is the worst story. Karen drove up and I saw her in the audience,

but at this point I'm sweating. My cute little half bra slid down, so I got tumors on my stomach. I'm like, fuck this. And I'm trying to just get through it. And everything I'm saying- And how long you doing? Like 15?

No, eight. Eight, okay. I'm new, I'm still new. This is, you know- Still. I'm only a few- Of eight minutes of booze and oh, that feels like 10 hours.

It was sweating, I mean, this is torture, torture oh, that feels like 10 hours. It was sweating, I mean, it's just torture, torture. And I'm like, fuck. And I kept, I remember they kept going, where's Dice? And I was like, he's up my ass, you want to tickle his feet? Cause my hood came out. Yeah. And I remember I caught eyes with my sister, Karen.

Such a dick. I'm like, oh, I might start. That's a good one. I might start using that one around the house. Oh, that's a big Philly thing. That's a South Philly special right there. And it got like a little bit of a lap, but they were still, they were like, ha ha, boo, motherfucker. And I remember I locked eyes with my sister and she just drew her hands in here like,

what do you want to do? Fight this whole fucking room? I'll start in this section here. I'll start here. It looked like I got you bitch. I'll start here. You come this way. We get this.

And then I just, in my head, I saw this headline, two South Philly girls fight Long Island. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because I was like, calm down, calm down. And thank God she didn't come with our buddy, Georgie, because he would have thoroughly started just throwing people out the window. It would have been insane. And I was like, oh my God, this is so crazy. So I wrapped up, I got off and Andrew's like, I'm not going out there. Fuck them. They don't treat you like that. You're my family. And I go, Andrew, they don't want to see me. They want to see you. Go out there. And he went out and he was so angry. It took me 10 minutes

to get him to go out. He was so angry that he had the best head I've ever fucking seen him have. Like it was unbelievable. It was like top notch dice because the anger was just coming out. And so I run upstairs and I start crying. I'm like, all right, I took care of Humpty Dumpty, got him back on the wall. Let me go upstairs and I fall apart. And I remember I called my brother Tom, I called my mom and my brother Tommy answered and he's like, hey, blondie got booed.

I'm like, what? This is a help. Who cares about fucking Blondie? He's throwing Deborah Harry under the bus right now. Bitch! What's that he has to open up? But it took me out of it and it made me laugh. Cause I was like, who gives a fuck?

And my mother's going, who's Blondie? Like, is she seeing Blondie? Like it just took a whole life of its own. I couldn't even cry, but that was the moment. I was like, I'm gonna fucking do this. And I'm gonna do it. I'll go back to Long Island, I'll kill every fucking time. Fuck you bitches.

I'm just kidding. And I do work at Governor's. I haven't done Westbury, but I still do Governor. Did we do Westbury after that? No, I haven't gone back to do that yet. Isn't that crazy? I wanna go back to do it though. That's a goal.

Tell me why, I know No Country for Old Women is a funny title, but tell me why you feel that way. Because it truly, it's like, no matter where you go, now I don't know if people do this to you, but everywhere, how old are you? Like, like there's, I'm like, I'm sorry, am I falling apart? Like.

I'm getting it more these days. Good, okay. Than I ever got it before. But I also have a lot more gray and shit in my hair. Yeah. I got a nice old base tan, you know what I mean? So I flirt with 40s, 50s. It's good, it's a silver fox.

You got good, you got good going. I like, my sister. I 40s, 50s. It's good. It's a silver fox. What are you? You got good going. I like my sister. I've been lying. I've been saying 42. I could say that. I've never lied. I'm 51.

42, they'll be like, whatever. I'm proud to be my age. I'm saying I'm still here. Crazy. Yeah. So my best friend who worked and waited tables with me at the comedy store for years, she's a little nutty, God love her. And she got into comedy for a little bit stand up and then me and Freddie Soto talked her

out of it because she's terrible. And I'm kidding. It just wasn't getting better. Like there was no growth. It was like, okay, you're not. And so she wound up getting out of it. But she became an agent and a producer. She's killing it. Right. So now she's recently divorced, single again, going through life.

And unfortunately, she was essayed, right? It's too heavy. I mean, I could say the R word, whatever, but we're older. So we're like, is it like we're so bad at like say, yeah, that was rapey. And you know what I mean? Cause we're just like too old. We're like, oh yeah. So I, when that happened, I forced her to go to this, I go, you gotta go talk to somebody. Cause we're so bad. We just go, oh, that's normal. Right? It's just a bad day. Right? So she's going to this crazy that that is, I know, and still happening. Every woman I talked to says this, like who's every woman I talked to and I raise a daughter. So I want her to talk to more and more women, more and more and more, because I hate to

fucking admit it, but you all have the same version of this story. Exactly. So and not just one usually. So- And not just one usually. So every time she'd tell the story, I go, this is getting worse and worse. So I made her go and do the whole kit and everything, whatever. So she did.

And now they want to see her. They're very good, UCLA. They want to see her. So she was driving. I'm not, it's awful. It's what the show is. We're highlighting low lights. It's a while now. We're highlighting the low light.

So she's driving to UCLA and she's on her phone. She's terrible at this, right? She's, so she's holding the phone. Cop pulls her over, you're holding your phone. She's like, oh my God, oh my God, I'm going to UCLA for this. And she says the name of the place and they say, and the guy goes, Oh, were you raped? And she's like, Yes. Yes. And the guy, the cop goes, What do you like 52? She goes, 52. Yeah, I didn't even show you my license. You know I'm 52. She flipped, not the rape part, the rape is fine.

We're fine with that. Listen, if you- 52, she flips out on the top. You should never ask a lady that. She says, I'm going to the HR rape center. What are you, 52? She goes, how did you? And Lauren looks amazing. Like I shouldn't say her name, but whatever. They don't know her. What are you 52? She goes, how did you? And Lauren looks amazing.

Like I shouldn't say her name, but whatever. They don't know her. And she looks incredible. So it's like, what? And she's flipping out on this guy. Do I really look 52? You think I look 52? Look at me.

Like, cause she does put on sites that she's a lot younger and people buy it because she looks. But the other thing that's blowing me away is I feel like when he said, and maybe I'm wrong, this is running through my filter here. What do you like, 52? As if women in their 50s, 60s don't get raped. How would rape happen?

I said, I'm sorry, but I'm thinking that's what I felt when you said it, I felt like that's what he was getting at. Like aren't you a little too old to be raped? I feel like that's what he was saying. You didn't get it together yet? Like this fucking piece of shit. I was challenged. I was, of course I'm laughing at she's mad about the 52,

but now I'm pissed at the fucking cop cause you're right. He's, it sounded 52, but now I'm pissed at the fucking cop because you're right. He's sounded surprised like what? Yeah. They still rape you. They still go after 52 year old pussy. What? Hold on. It's hard to catch 52 year old pussy or is it just easier to knock down? I mean, I swear. I'm going to hell. I apologize. I apologize. I'm going to hell.

That is terrible. But I feel like that's what he was getting that, like shocked. Like what? I don't know if he said it like that, but like that's how I'm hearing it. But she was just pissed. Like, how did you know how old I was? Oh, God.

That's awful. That is awful. Yeah. Oh God. That's awful. That is awful. Yeah, so yeah, but it's funny how we like, we're so like ashamed of our age more than that. Like we were ashamed to be 52 than to say we were raped. You know what I mean? Like it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

We'll talk about the rape. Can I ask you this? Like, cause I've talked to plenty of women on this show show who have gone back through their rolodex yeah so to speak and and realized that they were raped or it was rapier you know what I'm saying right be or yeah or I was a little too intoxicated and passed out yeah whatever I mean has that ever happened to you in your life I'm gonna knock wood and saying no because like I've had the bad date. I had that.

Women that this has happened to, obviously. 100%. Like that's inappropriate. Like there was this one time I was pretty drunk. This guy was pretty drunk and he's a pretty high up manager. And we've known each other forever. And we were drunk. And for some reason, and I never did this before, we started like making out. And all of a sudden he started getting like,

like the way, maybe the way he likes it, but I didn't know, but he was getting rough, like a little slap here and there, but this guy was like, hit me in the face. I was like, whoa. Just while you're kissing? Well, at that point we were like, getting a little hotter, but no clothes were off.

Okay. It wasn't even there. And so, and then he was just like, like rough, but he was, I was like, all right, you're a little drunk. I was like, hey man, you'll teal out a little bit. I'm not too drunk. But he's little, you know what I mean? And then it made me laugh. I was like, but this is the part I always say, like, I want to train women or like babies. Like you come out of the womb, I'm going to teach you how to fight like, or fight these fuckers off because this guy was little, but in business, in business, he was big. So I, but I don't care.

So I, at that point I grab his hands and I go, do it again. This isn't going to end well because my sick brain, I'll fight them and I go do it again this isn't gonna end well because my sick brain I'll fight him I don't care I could get laid anywhere I'll I know how to fight this guy so I and then he like he was like what you don't like it like that and I was like no and he's like what I thought you were a tough girl like he was trying to convince me that I liked her. And I go, jerk off. I don't. But like, if I didn't have that history with him, I probably wouldn't have stood up to him like that. Then he fell asleep on the bed, so I just left him there. And then we didn't talk for a long time.

And I was like, I should tell him. And I did. And he was like, I am so sorry. Like, but it never, like we never had penetration or anything. So it was, you know, it was just, he got out of control. He was very drunk and this is how maybe he has sex with women that hopefully are cool with that. Cause I know women that are cool with that and that's fine. But I wasn't, I'm not, I'm not, I don't know how to be hit and be like, Ooh, I'm turned on.

I get hit and I'm like, listen motherfucker. You're coming off the top rope, man. Forget wrestling, my whole childhood was fighting. For sure. Shit. So I was like, oh, snap your neck, bitch. Like. Look at him.

Just dropping elbows and legs on him while he's sleeping. The people's elbow comes at you. Fuck that, man. He woke up, he's like, my neck's killing me. God, I don't feel good. Hey, where's my dick? What's this up my ass? Oh, it's my dick.

There it is. Let me try to snap it back on. At least I should call Eleanor. And it's funny because like, it's not funny, but it's awful, but that happens to women where they just go, oh, like I said, he was trying to manipulate me, but it's awful. But that happens to women where they just go, Oh, like, like I said, he was trying to manipulate me, but had I not had that history and fear of like, Oh,

I need to, this is a high up in the business. And you know, he could, I, he could help me if I do. No, he's not going to help you. Nobody's going to help you. No, trust me. Like me, my friend, happy face. We always talk about this. Happyface isn't a real name. His name is Mike Melandra, but he teaches karate and self-defense to kids in Jersey.

And not just, you know, boys, people getting bullied, because that happens all the time. But for me, like, and he always says, I'm with you. I want to start for women, like, and I mean babies. I mean, you got to be taught why they shouldn't touch you, where they shouldn't touch you, how they should touch, like all that shit. I'm on it with my daughter. She's so sick of it though.

You know what I mean? I know, dad. I'm like, okay. I tell her all the time, nobody touches your, it used to be when she was a baby, I printed it in her, like, only mom and dad when we're giving you a bath and doctors when we are present. That's it.

That's exactly what my friend Corey did. Freddie's wife did the same thing. Nobody else touches you. If they touch you, you come tell either of us, they're going to tell you, you'll be in trouble. I promise you, you're never going to get in trouble. Yeah. You'll never get in trouble. They shouldn't do this. I just had to explain to her, she asked why I didn't like listening to Michael Jackson. And I was like, well, cause he molested kids. And she's like, huh?

I go, do you know what that is? And she's like, not really. And I was like, all right, let me tell you. And I fucking told her. And I was like, that guy's a monster and a piece of shit. And there are, I know you think the whole world is roses and puppies and everything's great. And you know, but there are vicious I know you think the whole world is roses and puppies and everything's great, you know, but there are vicious people out there.

I tell her all the time about it. And she's, you know, she's so sick. I'm like, nobody, I know, dad, I know. Cause I worry about her going to, you know, middle school, a friend's house who's got a high school brother and it's a sleepover. You know, what's this kid gonna do? You know, I worry about, is there an uncle

that lives at the house? Cause he's down and out right now. He's just living at the house. What's going on wherever the fuck you're going? I always worry about that shit. Yeah, that's, I get it because we didn't have sleepovers and everybody says- Oh Jesus, how could you?

Yeah, I know. But your mom, I had to bow my head. Anyway, when you say Jesus, it's a whole thing. Anyway, I'm just torture from Catholic school. But my mom, most people were like, Oh, you didn't get to sleep out. So your mom was smart. She didn't want you to go out and get molested. And I was like, No, that's not why at all. She was one, I wet the bed too. The Kerrigans are going to fuck some shit up. So she don't want to pay for anything

and anybody else's house. So bitch you ain't going nowhere. There's a lamp broken over here. There's something else broken. Well, we were coming off the top rope and because we would wrestle in the house and we would put like a flat sheet down. Like that was the ring, but that's not protecting.

No. And we were coming off the top of the couch. That's just boundaries. Yeah, yeah. And there was this one game we used to play where you sit on the feet and they throw you and we would go into the sofa. But my brother Jimmy, who is also nicknamed BamBam as a kid, threw my brother Johnny and he went high and right through the front window, right out the front window.

And yeah, so my grandma had to come over and Johnny had to get a cat. It was awful. It was, and then we, as soon as he went through the window, we're like, ah, shit, we're in trouble now. Like the windows broke and Johnny's gotta go to the hospital. We're fucked. So it was like, we would play stupid shit. So I don't know from anything.

Like I wrestled technically my whole life with these idiots and then fighting in the streets, of course. And you definitely think that helped you, huh? 100%. I believe that. 100% because- Growing up with brothers that were older and shit. Yeah.

And fucking with you. Cause they don't, it's not like they don't love you. It's just that they don't look at you like the, you know, the way the boys do, you know? Right, and they were honest. You're just one of them. They were honest. Like a lot of times like Billy, me and Billy are like real close and in age and like growing

up we were like inseparable. And so he would be like, you know, he's not your friend. That's not what they're there for. And also a boy's not going to like you if you smoke. Like, you know, and I'm like, you smoke. And then he's like, the girls shouldn't smoke. And I was like, whatever. Like, so that was my fight with them. I'm not a girl.

Like, I mean, I know technically whatever, but I want it to be more like a boy. I want it, I didn't like the girl. I didn't like the girl. I didn't like the things that the girls, you can't do this cause you're a girl. You can't do that cause you're a girl. And so like even playing football, I had to throw and be and play like a boy. And so if, if I didn't, they wouldn't let me play and I didn't connect with the girls.

So I, even when I tried to be a cheerleader, my best friend Robert who was gay and I didn't try to be a cheerleader, my mom forced me. It's the greatest picture. You got it somewhere? We'll talk about it. Anyway, it's so bad. My best friend Robert who was gay is like, stop cheering with these white girls.

We gotta go cheer with the black girls. And I learned how to cheer with the black girl. It was so much different, it was so much better. Dude, I talk about this all the time. They talk about how bullying and all this shit. I'm like, listen, man, when we grew up, the black girls were hitting the U-G-L-Y, honey, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly.

Yeah, we were like, Ryan, Ryan, you ugly. What, what, you ugly. And watch them watch. Ryan, Ryan, he's our man. He, he, he, he, he. Rock steady. They're like, you, G-L-Y. You grew up in a nicer neighborhood. My daughter plays softball.

Those girls all have chants about shit, like how they're gonna fuck them up and everything. And I was like, you ain't shit. And I'm like, what the fuck? The best. But my favorite one was, there was this one that would go, listen to my pussy snap. I swear to God, I swear to God.

That's what I'm talking about. And I was like, your pussy snaps? Listen to my pussy snap. I don't even think mine's open. How does your snap? The best. That's a cheer. Listen to my pussy snap.

And me and Robert would do it all. What swear are you cheating? I don't know. Oh, the best. That's a cheer. This is to my pussy's need. And me and Robert would do it all. I don't know, it was in Philly. What a fact that they did that. It wasn't a Catholic school. It was so good. Listen to my pussy snap. I'm just going to be humming after myself

throughout the day now. It's so catchy. I know. It's so catchy. I know. It's so catchy. As soon as the other one, you take my E-O-M-A-K-A-L-A-R-A-K-A-L-A. I don't know what the other word, me and Robert would just be trying to follow like.

God damn. And they love Robert, cause he was like gay, flamboyantly gay. Oh, they loved. And so they were all his friends and that's how I learned my pussy can snap. The way they affect snap, too. I love it. I love it. I begged people to teach me that. The full version. Like when I got in high school,

I'm like, did you guys do the pussy snatch here? I'm YouTubeing that, I wanna know what else they say. I wanna know what else they say. Oh, shit. So good, South Philly, man. Ain't nothing like it. Thank you for coming on here, Eleanor Carey. Oh, is that it? All right.

I'm excited, thank you. Well, you know what? No, let me ask you this. Oh. I'm gonna ask you a final question. Okay. Well, because you did ask me where I'm gonna ask you a final question. Okay. Well, because you did ask me where I see myself. I don't know.

Where do we all see ourselves going? Where do you see yourself going? You're 52. Yeah. You know. Hopefully, Dice. Back in the day, I don't know if there'd have been a 10 years for a lot of us.

10 more years. 10 more years. Yeah. I mean, shit, Dice, 15 more years back in the day. You know, you've got the internet now, and who knows what, I mean, look in the last 15 years, what's happened with social media and all these things

for a lot, not just comedians, but a lot of artists and entertainers. Yeah, Dice has the knack to reinvent himself, which is hard, because once you get known for one thing, it's hard to get them to know you for another. That's because they're morons that only can see one thing. That's right. You have to keep feeding these fucking idiots.

Yeah, so even when he would veer off on his act, people would get upset, you know? And now I notice it happens to me, people see me with dice, obviously, I have to dirty it up, you have to, you know, a little more raunchy. I'm not saying I'm not raunchy in my regular, like when I do an hour, but some people would see me with Dice, come see me do an hour. And they're like, oh, well, you were raunchier with that.

And I'm like, yeah, but now I can get into more story. Like now I can do my, what I like to do. And not that it's squeaky clean by any means, but it's not, you know, the 20 minutes you got to do opening for the people, they, they're dice crowd, when I come out, they think I'm a sacrifice, you know, to sin. So it's, it's a different thing. And people yell at me like, oh, when I saw

you with him, you were way rauncher. I'm like, I'm sorry. Did you want to hear my pussy snap? I don't know what you want me to say. You know? And so, but, but people do get like, no, you're the one that does this. You know? So I, I look, I just, I'm just hoping to be, um, funny.

That's all I care about. I love being funny, entertaining, have a story, like relatable. You know, I am getting older, so, but mentally my brain is a little slower. It should have a helmet on it. It's way back. And so hopefully I can just keep growing with my standup, with my act relevant, stay relevant kind of thing. Yeah.

Cause it is, it is weird. Like once you're up there, like people don't think about, like, I don't watch people and go, I wonder how old they are? I just go, oh, they're fucking crushing or they're having so much fun or they're, they're like, I followed Greg Fitzsimmons the other night, fucking annihilates. I don't know how old Greg is. I don't even think about it. But because he's so brilliant to me

and I want people to look at me like that, who cares about what are they saying? Is it funny? Is it good? Yeah, and there's a bigger, like I think a guy like Adam Ray who took a Dr. Phil, right? Oh yeah, yeah, he's very charactery.

If that character's not on an SNL back in the day before internet or anything, it never gets out there like that. You know what I mean? It doesn't make it out there. So now you've got opportunities to create things where before it wouldn't even be seen. Now everyone can see it. Yeah.

Pardon me. And that's something I have to get over for my own self is like the internet to me is like, oh God, don't put yourself out there. Don't do that. Let's get in and then you can do that. But in where? There is no in. So-

We're all in. Yeah. We're all in the damn internet. So now I have to fucking, that's one of my self, like to just do it, to just like, see Andrew figured out something to do on the streets, right? And that's great. And that's his thing. I know I'm not trying to capitalize do it, to just like, see Andrew figured out something to do on the streets, right? And that's great. And that's his thing.

I know I'm not trying to capitalize on that, but like I wanna start something, my own thing, whether it's talking shit on a bit, I don't know, you know. Should be all time QB, Eleanor Kerrigan out there just fucking throwing his zips. I'll show you. I'm telling you. I wanna die.

I love you Eleanor Kerrigan. I love you too. Thank you for doing this. Promote your special and everything else you'd like to again as well, bitch. I'll show you. I'm telling you. On a dime. I love you, Eleanor Kerrigan. I love you too. Thank you for doing this. Promote your special and everything else you'd like to again as well, please. Yes. Follow me because we don't get booked without followers. So follow Instagram, whatever, Facebook, all that shit. I do TikTok, Twitter, X, whatever we're supposed to say. We're elderly, so just leave us alone.

I still say we're elderly. So just leave us alone. Okay, fucking tweet, tweet. And my special, No Country for Old Women is doing really well. And see, if you can stick to that, I mean, I hope it's only 43. It was supposed to be 30, but the last like 13 minutes are Mitzi stories and how I got into the store and all that shit.

And it's fun, it's nice. So Pauly was there, he approved. and how I got into the store and all that shit. I love it. And it's fun. It's nice. So, Paulie was there. He approved. Good. So, yeah. Good. So, yeah.

Thank you so much for having me and helping me promote. I appreciate it. Anytime. You know it. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Come see me on tour. Tickets are available at RyanSickler.com. We'll talk to y'all next week