The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Fahim Anwar - FahimDew

Episode Date: August 22, 2022

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Fahim Anwar! (Hat Trick, United States of Al) Fahim Highlights the Lowlights of his grandmother's passing which is the first significant death in his life at age 38. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: Mindbloom -Get $100 off your first six sessions when you go to https://www.Mindbloom.com/HONEYDEW  ExpressVPN -Go to https://www.ExpressVPN.com/HONEYDEW and get an extra three months free Everlywell -Get 20% off an at-home lab test at https://www.Everlywell.com/HONEYDEW  Babbel -Save up to 60% off your subscription when you go to https://www.Babbel.com/HONEYDEW 

Philly, thank you for another weekend of great shows. Austin, Texas, headed your way. September 2nd and 3rd, that's Labor Day weekend. Vancouver, September 15th through the 17th. And Edmonton, I'll be back up there September 29th through October 1st. Get your tickets to those shows and all shows on my website at ryansickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all.

We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler and all your social media. I want to thank you guys for your support of the show. If you are watching on YouTube, hit that subscribe button, please. It's a free way to help the show. It really does make a difference for us. All right. If you got to have more and I don't blame you, check out the Patreon. It's called the Honeydew With Y'all, and I'm highlighting the lowlights with y'all. Your stories are, there's nobody that can hang with these goddamn stories. Every week, my mind is blown. It's five bucks a month. If you sign up for a year, you get over a month free. You're getting The Honeydew a day early,

you're getting it ad free, and you're getting it at no additional cost. All right? If you or someone you know has that story that has to be heard, please submit it to honeydoopodcast at gmail.com. All right. Now, the Night Pants Nation Tour continues to roll on. Thank you guys for your support. We're out there killing it. I love seeing your faces.

In August, August 5th through the 7th, I'll be at the La Jolla Comedy Store. August 18th through the 20th. I'm in Philadelphia and September 2nd and 3rd. I'm down in Austin for Labor Day weekend. So get your tickets to those shows and all shows on my website at ryanstickler.com. Now you guys know what we do over here. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. We are highlighting the lowlights. And today I'm very excited to have this guest first time here on the honeydew ladies and gentlemen please welcome fahim awar welcome to the honeydew thank you thank you i'm glad to be here of course thanks for having me

um before we get into what we are going to talk about today please plug promote all of it all that uh all that the biggest thing is the special that I just put out on my YouTube channel called Hat Trick. I filmed it at the comedy store. So I do all three rooms. I did it myself just in the era of, you know, comedians taking the ownership back

and just sort of not waiting for Hollywood to give you permission to do the thing you know you can do. So I directed it. I self-financed it and it came out just really the way i'm so proud of it and i just want people to catch it so it's called hat trick it's at youtube.com slash fahim anwar all right and then socials and all that stuff but hat trick is the big one that's all i care about all right um well i you know i ask everyone to send me what

they want to talk about before and yours already struck a chord with me because it was about your grandmom. So before we talk about her, I mean what we're going to talk about, tell me a little bit about you. You're originally from Seattle? Yeah, from Seattle. Tell me a little bit about your family background and what sort of role she played in that. So, yeah, from Seattle. My parents are from Afghanistan. Mom and dad? Mom and dad from and then you know they came over here i was born in seattle and my grandma lived in

seattle as well and it was tough because like she was a fixture of my life and everything but there is this language barrier so it's almost like you're missing an entirely like an entire facet of communication and she's from afghanistan yeah afghanistan and she or her english got so like it got good to a point you know but at a certain age it's kind of hard to pick it up so that was just something that always tore at me too because me and my brother never really learned the language either um whose mom is this your dad or my mom's mom's mom okay um because like other kids our age and stuff and like you know our cousins and stuff they speak farsi a lot better than me and my brother and i was kind of envious i wish that we were able to speak it as well too because then i would

be able to have an even deeper relationship with my grandma other than like pleasantries. You would do like boilerplate stuff when she would come over and we would like hug and be like, salaam. It's almost like a script, you know? But that's all I knew or had as an entry point to my grandma.

I would hug her and stuff like that. But like, I couldn't get into the nuances of what happened at school or my mom would kind of be a translator a bit and that would help but yeah it was just tough in that regard and i think part of the reason i mean what i always hear from my parents as to why we didn't really learn farsi is because my brother spoke kind of late like he wasn't speaking in his development and like he should have been speaking by a certain point and then the doctor said oh he must be confused by the two languages in the house

so you should probably just stick to english because like it was more important for my brother to speak than to be bilingual so my parents are just kind of worried and so it's just english in the house and then when i came along, everyone was just speaking English. And then my mom tried to teach it to us later, but then we just wanted to play outside for the summer and stuff. So it would be like trying to do homework during the summertime where you just wanted to play. So it was harder when you're more stubborn and older.

So, yeah, so we just didn't have that common thread of language, which sucks. So what connection did you have? Just like. Did you play games, checkers, chess, cards, anything to like sit around and just be around her? Just be around and like the energy and the calming energy of your grandma and stuff. And again, even having that script was nice and knowing that she knows what Salam is. And I know that at least. Yeah.

And just, she lived so long, like 90 something. It's one of those. Yeah. Well, the thing is with Afghanistan, they didn't keep great calendars and stuff. Or like, you don't even know the exact birthday. So she could be 76. Kind of. Or like 200 or something.

200. She's a man. Because you're like, how old is B.B. John? And they're like, B.B. John, she might be 92 or 110. We don't know. But she lived a long life, you know, and just having that as a fixture in your life. And I'm 38. this is like the first time

that i've kind of encountered death so like i've i'm very privileged in that regard you know this is the first person major death in your life at 38 yeah wow yeah i mean my grandpa passed away too but i didn't see him as much. How old were you when that happened? I was younger. I was maybe like 16 or something. Yeah. But this, like, I saw BB John all the time, like almost every weekend. This is something you really feel and miss.

Yeah. So she passed away when? Very recently. Actually, Louie Anderson's, I think, shares the same. Same day. That same day. Yeah. She was a big Louie Anderson fan. Are you being serious? No, no. passed away when very recently like actually louis anderson's i think shares the same same like that same day yeah she was a big louis anderson fan so are you being serious no no i'm like my grandma the only english she can speak are louis anderson coming to america um yeah it was just so so she's present your entire life.

Present my entire life. And was she with it still at her age? Like, you know, what point, you know what I mean? Was she still there together? No, towards the end, like pretty much, but she would kind of forget sometimes some things and eating was a little harder towards the end too. sometimes some some things and eating was a little harder towards the end too and my mom would go more regularly to to see her you know um did you i would see her like maybe twice twice a year i

would go visit um the bay area i'm gonna do that this weekend my cousin's getting engaged so like i've always been up there and caught her and Yeah, it's going to be weird not seeing her this time of the hour. This will be their first time, huh? Yeah. Because she's at every one of these events, huh? Yeah, or at somebody's house. And like you say hi to everybody. You say hi to BB John.

We might all go to, you know, the grave and pay respects and stuff. But it's going to be especially hard for my mom too, you know. Also, it's like the first time i've seen death that close up i've been pretty shielded from it or like death is a concept kind of you know but like i don't i don't know how americans do it but this is kind of like i've been on the sidelines of when like an afghan person dies or whatever but there's like a islamic way of doing it so which is what i mean i'll tell you my experience i only knew kind of like a little bit of stuff but like when it happened i was in it and i wasn't privy to like all the specifics of it until it happens to kind of like your nuclear family um

so like you go to this masjid which is like a mosque so we all go there and the body's there in in the back and like you have to wash the body like there's a certain way of preparing the body before there's like a set set rules before you get buried and so someone has to like you know prepare and like wash the body And it's this woman who does that. That's just her thing. And you don't really think about that person until it's affecting your life and your family. And you think, what a saint. You know what I mean?

Some people wouldn't be able to handle that. And it's somebody else's. It's not even their family. But something that they're doing that's such a major thing i think like god bless this lady who helped out with that and i think the daughters helped as well and there's no fancy coffins or anything it's very minimalist and it's in this box um this kind of like sturdy cardboard box and it's such a mind fuck like because she has to be loaded onto the i don't

even know like the fact that i'm explaining it i'm like am i saying there's a lot of layers here it's almost like therapy like you ever remember um the world's greatest magic on fox back in the day was valentino and he's giving away all these secrets and he wears this mask and magicians are like he shouldn't he shouldn't be saying those secrets like this that's why i'm a little hesitant to this because like it's a dichotomy of like afghan culture where it is all about appearances and am i saying too much about my grandma should nobody know about this but then it is my experience too and there is something beautiful about it um i don't think what i'm doing is wrong but that's always like a pressure just like it's very it's really interesting

yeah like no one should know about these that culture you don't talk about this at all i mean we experienced it we don't but i'm saying you don't talk to your dad or your brother or your mom like like the conversation we're having right now you don't have that kind of talk about her or death like that no no not really because you're not supposed to or just because you're not that kind of family because some dads are still out there with the like you know patch on the shoulder don't cry macho bullshit other ones are like me i'm crying at commercials and fucking yeah it's lying down the slime boards and shit it's not a spoken thing to like don't do this or whatever but like you kind of pick it up by actions and you just kind of know the way to

like like my dad doesn't say i love you you know like when you leave here no one's gonna shove a sword through your ass i know i know i. You know what you talked about. Yeah. Yeah. So I need to get, I need to like get over it. So. This is interesting to me. You are battling with even talking about it right now. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I don't know. Yeah. So preparing the body, washing and put it in the box and all that. And then it's just such a mind fuck that we're all, we're all, we're waiting for the hearse. We're waiting for the hearse to come and then to load up and that's fucking crazy to think about like load up load up you know my grandma or like a like a human being and i'm right there with you i've been a pallbearer so many fucking times like i should get a free casket for real i've carried so many motherfucking dead bodies bro to their hole like you're like i threw down the island church you're like you put it on that little thing and wheel it and you gotta shove it into the fucking hearse and i'll tell you

something else i'm gonna tell you all this right now if ever you have to carry a fucking dead body and i'm talking coffin not you know you just killed somebody you gotta get rid of it you're on your own with that get the fucking head in okay it's so much lighter i promise you that head end up there you can take your time grieve back in the back end you're like god damn you've done it so many times you have techniques we fight to get that front spot because that's the gravy right there you want to take them and just glide them nice onto those rollers like god i made that mistake you see a younger kid you're like rookie you'll get the hang of it stick with me you're like a maverick you're teaching the kids now this guy's the best he's held so many and so i just had this moment like my cousin has also also been a pallbearer with me every one of these funerals.

And we've had so many of them. My dad, my grandmother, my aunts, cousins. So many fucking people have died. And one time it was me and my two brothers and my cousin and his brothers, the five of us, and someone else. There were six total. And we had just finished having crabs. We were all sitting out in the back picnic table. And then my aunt said, hey, we guys moved the table back over.

And silently, we lined up in fucking formation. And everybody grabbed that pick without one word being said. And we carried it. And everyone just started fucking. You could feel it going right through the whole circle of all of us. We were laughing out loud like, dude, we've done this so many motherfucking times. Doesn't it feel good? We just grabbed that picnic table moved it professionally to cut through something so yes and everyone you could feel it was what do they say palpable you could feel that

shit i'm telling you it was there and not one word needed to be said we just started dying laughing like man we've carried a lot of motherfucking bodies to their holes. So I do understand. And you got to, when my dad died, the hearse was full. I had to sit up front with the driver. I don't know who the fuck this guy is. You're doing like Uber small talk

with the hearse driver? So is this the only one you got today? Or is this like a twofer? Are you going to bounce around? That's what we were doing. It says your hearse is completing a trip nearby. Yo, what if you pitch that? It's like to bounce around? That's what we were doing. It says your hearse is completing a trip nearby. Yo, what if you pitch that? It's like Uber Hearse?

That's a good idea. You're about to retire a gazillionaire. It's a pool. There's like four other Uber Hearse pool. Yeah, that's great. So she's in the back area. Can I ask you a question? Do you pick an outfit?

Does we pick an outfit for that person to go off to wherever? Do you wrap the body? Do you? Yes. So it's like wrapped in this white cloth. Just everyone gets prepared the same way. Yeah. So it was like,

like a cocoon kind of. Yeah. And that was interesting. Cause again, I've been shielded from this part of life like death has always been just a concept

and when you're younger too it's just such such a far away thing um but then as you get older you're you're faced with it a little more constant

and I'm pretty lucky that I fucking lasted 38 before I was faced with it like this that's a hell of a run it's a hell of a run it's a hell of a run it's a hell of a run um and then you know my mom and and like some of the other sisters were there with bb john

um near the back you know saying goodbye and and the box was off and they're you know looking at her and they're crying and stuff and me and my brother were we're just where everyone else is in the chairs just kind of waiting for the hearse to come and then my mom're crying and stuff. And me and my brother, we're just where everyone else is in the chairs, just kind of waiting for the hearse to come. And then my mom's crying and she's like, do you want to see BB John? And it's tough because it's almost like, do you want to, it's like you're 13 years old in the woods and something like, yeah, that's my grandma. But then it's like a dead body too. And it's a lot, it's a lot to unpack. And like, I like to shield myself from that type of stuff.

I don't really like watching horror movies. It's fun for some people. I just don't like feeling a certain way. And like my gut says, I don't wanna see that. But then it's something inside of me said, like, you need to see this. Like, you can't hide from this. And then my mom's crying too, you know?

And like, and I could tell like she kind of needed it too. Like that would have, like if I said no, to be that selfish and to be like, no, I don't want to see BB John. Like, I don't want to be that guy or she didn't raise me to be that selfish and to be like, no, I don't want to see BB John. I don't want to be that guy. She didn't raise me to be that. So it's this thing of almost jumping off a cliff. I have to see.

And I'm never going to see her again. And this is part of it. And as much as it feels weird and all this shit, it's a part of life. And you can't put your head in the sand. I need to see BB John. So then i walk to the back and then they like uncover and i look at her and and they're crying and it's so it's this other thing too where like you're already feeling all these things and then your mom you don't want

to see your mom oh you know what i mean like that almost hurts more than what i'm dealing with on my own like mine is so minor compared like that's her mom mom that's my grandma but that's her mom the reason you both exist yes yeah and then i'm i'm looking at at my grandma um and she's covered in the the white cloth and it's like wrapped around the head and can i ask you like here we embalm the body and put all that bullshit in it do you guys do any of that or is this no yeah we don't put anything in there um and i'm it was so bizarre because it's like i'm looking i'm looking at a representation of my grandma, but it's not, it is, but it isn't, you know what I mean?

And then, I mean, I'm skipping ahead here, but it attaches to the thought, like when, when they're lowering her, we're at the grave site and just me seeing, seeing her vessel,

like the production and everything we're doing, It's like, it's for us. I don't know why I never, maybe it seems so obvious, but it didn't hit me until then. Like everyone crying, everyone being together, everyone saying these words and like these prayers and stuff and like they're gone. Like we don't know what that is or where they are but like the production of it all we need it we need it more than anybody it's it's not for the person now they don't even know what the fuck's going on yeah it's nice it's nice to know that when you go the people you love most will be affected that much and be doing that. But like logistically.

We'll never experience it. We'll never. Yeah. It's just everyone there needs that. So that was, that was interesting. Yeah. Just, just seeing like a receipt of a life, you know? Yeah.

And an approximation of, of the person. Cause like their essence is is gone gone yeah so that was kind of interesting experiencing that firsthand and you can't hide from that you know and that that's going to be for all of us it's common bro yeah yeah it always wins undefeated so what bothers you the most about it? Like, is that, have you started to really, like, think much more about life and death since this? Because this is just a few months ago, you're saying. Yeah.

Totally. I mean. What's it done to you in the last few months? It just shows you that that is, you can't put it put it off you know a lot of tasks and stuff in life you can be like i'll get to it later i'll get to it later but that is that is the finality of everything and it it kind of helps you inform and reassess what do you want out of life what do you want what's left to look like um so it did that it shakes you up a little bit in that way. To juice the most out of what you do have on this earth.

Have you gotten a little closer to your mom or your brother or dad or anything? I think a little more, I'm a little more open with my mom. We'll discuss things. My mom will talk about how she's feeling with BB John and I'll listen and try to help her with that um yeah when like whenever somebody goes through something you're a little more vulnerable and you get out of your programming of just doing the typical hey this is what's going on blah blah blah bye yeah

she's going through a thing so it's helped with that and are they all still up in seattle yeah yeah did you or am i ever get to see you do stand up? no you never even tried to show it to her or anything like that? I don't know I wonder if maybe someone put it up on YouTube or something and maybe she would just see me flopping around on stage or something

yeah I don't know even if she saw it I don't think she would understand other than maybe the physical stuff but I don't think she was super invested in my comedy career. What was she like? Just so sweet, like quintessential grandma. But did she drive? Did she have her own friends?

She didn't drive. Did she have her own little community? What's interesting is even though your English may not be the best. Sometimes there's other elderly people and there may be this language barrier. They can't hear. A lot of them can't hear. Yeah. But I would go to her apartment complex

and she would have these friends as well. And then she kind of picked up golf. Oh, no shit. She lived right next to this golf course, this public golf course. And she got like a wedge and she would go out there and I would love going and playing with her too. oh nice you got hitting some balls yeah we would go do some putts and stuff like that I remember my mom would take take her to doctor's appointments and stuff at the

Everett clinic and they would have coffee out there this is before Keurig's all the kids we used to have pots in the in the waiting room and I just I was like oh yeah I love coffee so she would like help me make these coffees and mix them half and just, I was like, oh yeah, I love coffee. So she would like help me make these coffees and mix them half and half. And it was like the most delicious drink for me at the time. The struggles we face with our mental health can loom large over our lives. Maybe yours, maybe someone you love. You've tried everything or have you. Mindbloom is the solution for the next chapter in mental health and wellbeing. Mindbloom is the leader in at-home ketamine therapy, offering a combination of science-backed medicine with clinician and guide support for people looking to improve their mental health and well-being. Mindbloom connects patients to

licensed psychiatric clinicians to help them achieve better outcomes with lower cost, greater convenience, and an artfully crafted experience. To begin, take Mindbloom's online assessment to determine if Mindbloom is right for you. If begin, take Mindbloom's online assessment to determine if Mindbloom is right for you. If approved, you'll schedule a video consult with a licensed clinician where you'll discuss your goals and expectations for mental health treatment. Mindbloom will send you a kit in the mail complete with medicine, treatment materials, and tips for getting the most out of your experience. After only two sessions, 87% of Mindbloom clients reported improvements in depression and 85% reported improvements in anxiety.

Listen, I've been hearing about this for a while. It's been floating around out there, and I'm definitely going to try it. I was excited when Mindbloom reached out, so I'm absolutely going to do this, and I will tell you how I feel after it. It's time to enter the next chapter in mental health and well-being. Let Mindbloom guide you. Right now, Mindbloom is offering my listeners $100 off your first six-session program when you sign up at mindbloom.com slash honeydew. Go to mindbloom.com slash honeydew for $100 off your first six-session program today. That's mindbloom.com slash honeydew. When you use the bathroom, you always close the door behind you, right? I hope so. You don't want random passerbys looking

in on you, so why would you let people look in on you when you go online? Using the internet without ExpressVPN is like going to the bathroom and not closing the door. Did you know that your internet service provider knows every single website you visit? And what's worse is they can sell this information to ad companies and tech giants who will use your data to target you. ExpressVPN puts a stop to this. It creates a secure encrypted tunnel between your device and the internet so that your online activity can't be seen by anyone. I use ExpressVPN on all my devices. It works on everything, my phones, laptops, routers. So everyone who shares our Wi-Fi can still be protected even if they don't have ExpressVPN.

And the best part is using ExpressVPN is as easy as closing the bathroom door. You just fire up the app, you click one button, and you're protected. ExpressVPN is the world's number one rated VPN by Mashable, The Verge, and countless others. So, if you're like me and believe your online activity is your business, secure yourself by visiting expressvpn.com slash honeydew today. Use my exclusive link, expressvpn.com slash honeydew, and you can get an extra three months free. That's expressvpn.com slash honeydew. can get an extra three months free that's expressvpn.com honeydew now let's get back to the do and see let me tell you something like all my relative my grandmom was italian and spoke italian in the house and i do wish we

would have fucking learned it i wish just to have that uh second language but um my dad everybody spoke english i understood everything they said all the time and they're gone and I'm going to tell you it's not so much their words or vocabulary that resonates with me it's that it's I went golfing with her she showed me how to make these coffees I don't remember what was said during those days and I understood their language so but I do remember the feeling and the moment, you know, that experience with that person. I remember that. And I, so I hear you on, you wish you would have been able to, I know you would have got to know her better, but still,

even in the long run, you're what you're going to remember are those moments. Yeah. Yeah. Cause that's like all we had that was, yeah. Actions are bigger than just small talk or whatever. did you how far was she from you she lived in the bay area so hour and a half flight yeah yeah yeah yeah but i mean as sad as it is and everything it is a textbook death you know like you could only hope to go that way when it happened uh Hospice, you know? And that's the thing is when you're in your hospice, you don't, you don't, you don't.

Most people don't come out of that. Dude, I always, I always think it's fucked up that hospital and hospice sound the same. So when you're getting the news, you know, like, hey, we're going to take you to hosp and you think they're going to say it all? And they go, it's. like hey we're gonna take you to hosp and you think they're gonna say it all and they go make the words different

don't why are you left they should be very different both words shouldn't start the same way that's cruel it is cruel yeah it's such a tease like hospice like fuck he said yes is there is is there the one person who got out of hospice and that's like they should do like a biopic that's their story rudy the rudy of hospice care he just takes all the things off and everyone else is cheering him on out of the chair i say no to this place and everyone else with the tubes are like yeah i'm going back to the hospital damn it i'm not better but i'm too good for this place Oh, shit. Yeah, I first experienced death.

My very first experience seems like maybe it was a little bit like your grandfather's. It was my great-grandmom, and she was Italian, first generation over here. And they had a parlor, and they lived in Tyrone, Pennsylvania, and they had a parlor in their house, like that old room they had a parlor and they were in, they lived in Tyrone, Pennsylvania and they had a parlor in their house, like that old room, you know, they call the parlor and they fucking laid her out in there. So my dad's like, we're going to say goodbye. And that's his grandmother, obviously. And I'm like, we're like, okay. And I'm, I don't know, I might have been in my daughter's age, seven, eight, somewhere around there. And we get there, and I just remember all the people in the room. You know, you feel that somber energy. You're not blind to that at any age.

And I see the coffin. And we're in the house. And there's a dead person, like, right there in the house. Her house. I'm like, what a fucking and i as i get older i'm still like what a weird thing to experience in the house you know and then i remember i don't know why it stuck with me they gave me a cookie monster stuffed animal or whatever the hell stuffy and i slept with that and that was sort of there like you you know, it's not too scary.

You get something out of it. Not until I got older because then the deaths kept coming quickly after that. My dad died when I was 16. My grandmother was a few years after that. My other grandma, my girl was like my sister was a couple months after that. My other grandma was a couple months after that. I was like, bang, bang, bang, bang. like my sister was a couple months after that my other grandma was a couple months after that i was like bang bang bang bang and all of them were very similar in the process of a viewing you go to a

viewing first you know um and they usually do two a night we'll get like it's a comedy show there's an early show and a late show yeah bro there's a two drink minimum you're gonna be there on wednesday we're gonna we're gonna look at Fahim at 7 and 9. Okay? The family can come in at 6 to get the shit out of their system first. Yeah. Get the good seats and then be able to receive, you know, while this dead person's up here embalmed. From my experience, they don't look like they fucking looked.

They looked like a fucking swollen, you know, like you put a bunch of shit in them. Is that commonplace to embalm? Is that like an American type? I don't know if it's an American type, but it's definitely commonplace at all the funerals I've been to. And I would say here. I don't know if it's Italian. I just think it's American. But I went to a lot of Catholic funerals. So it's always mass first. And then people get up and say whatever. And then it goes to the hole and you throw the fucking dirt and

then they lower it and off you go. But it was seven and nine viewing on Tuesday. And then another one on Wednesday at seven and nine. And then Thursday would be the funeral. And then that's when you say it's a process, you know, and then you're going to the funeral and then that happens. And then you go to the wake and that's where everybody has ham and cold cuts and tries to get a little laugh and a smoke and a drink and a lot of tears too. But, you know, that's the little that's the little celebration of life some punch and shit yeah yeah i see but you find the cool kids at

that and you go over there how you doing there was a moment uh you know when we're waiting for the hearse and it's all the masjid the mosque there's because it's a mosque there's prayers going on some of the family would go in and it's carpeted you take your shoes off and you go in and it's this thing because me and my brother were like adjacent we didn't learn all the stuff but we're we pick up some things and then there's kind of this obligated or you want to i wish it was like the matrix where i just put like an aux cable in my brain and just know all the things that I'm supposed to do to give everything just to be, be good for this moment, you know? Cause the, the cousins and stuff who know the stuff, they go in and they take their shoes off and they know all the prayers and there's the call to prayer and stuff. And they know the timing of all, cause it's like choreographed.

It's, and me and my brother are in there cause everyone else did. It would be weird if we're just, it seems like maybe we don't care, but the thing is we don't know this stuff. So we go in as well, and it's one of those things where you just, like we don't know. We're like looking over for the crouching and the bending over and the hands and all that, doing an approximation of the prayers. Just, yeah, it's like trying to dance and not knowing how to dance.

Yeah, I do. There's a lot to dance and not knowing how to dance. You know? Yeah, I do. There's a lot of movement in the Catholic church growing up, and I never knew when to sit, kneel, stand. Yes. Okay, same thing. I didn't know the words. I'm like, what is this?

What are you all saying back to this guy right now? Yeah, so you're just in church the whole time. I never got it. Like this. Just like, that's also with you. I would just try. Yeah. Oh, we're kneeling now?

We're kneeling now? Your peripheral vision probably got great. I would sit on the edge of Oh, we're kneeling now? We're kneeling now? Your peripheral vision probably got great. I would sit on the edge of the pew too, so I didn't have to kneel. I guess I was thinking I didn't even have pads on it, man. Where's all this money we're donating to this church? Where's it going? Has your grandmother's death made you think? You've been shielded.

I'm saying 38 is a phenomenal run, bro. Forget about your death for a moment. Have you thought more about your parents? Are your parents still together? Yeah. They are. Have you thought more about their passing? Yeah, because it's a progression of things.

Yeah, and how I'm going to handle it. It makes life, I don't know. These things that are concepts are realities now you know more and more and more and maybe it's trying to have more with my parents than i did before like it's not like we've had a terrible relationship or anything but it can get very one note or you get into a rhythm whereas i have an opportunity to have a deeper relationship with them with this new knowledge and stuff or faced with it. I mean, it sounds dumb, like new knowledge, like how do you not know this? But it's different when you're confronted with it. Even my dad,

like me and my mom have had pretty good relationship. Like I've been a mama's boy and I've been able to talk to her and she's shown me love my whole life. And she'll say, I love you. And I know my dad loves me, but he doesn't explicitly say I love you. I don't need that from him or anything, but it's just more like fatherly. But it seems like it goes back to that whole, you don't talk about this. You don't share your business. You keep your feelings to yourself. Don't show weakness.

Kind of. And then when I, I remember when I moved to LA, you know, I packed up the Toyota Corolla and it's, I'm saying, you know, bye.

So I'm saying bye. My mom's a wreck and all that. And then, and then my dad, he just kind of like quickly went to the bathroom because he was crying, you know? Yeah.

And then, and then like after it was done or everything, he came out and, but it's one of those things where it's so interesting to me that everyone knows, like,

you know, everyone knows what's happening, but it's still preferable to do it behind closed doors in a bathroom than, you know, in person.

And that's, that's rubbed off on me. Like whether I like it or not, I have that and i'm trying to break that cycle some i'm trying to be somewhere in between my dad and my mom you know um and then like i would talk to my phone or my mom a lot on the on the phone and then my dad not so much because he's so old school he didn't't have a cell phone or anything. And every now and then I would call my dad just to catch up. But he, and then when he finally got a cell phone,

he got a pay-as-you-go cell phone. Because he's so about value and stuff and money and that I wouldn't be able to get ahold of him because his cell phone, it was just pay-as-you-go and he wouldn't want to burn minutes and stuff. So, and it would never be on because he would power And he wouldn't want to burn minutes and stuff. So, and it would never be on because he would power it off. You want to conserve energy and all this.

So I would get little touchstones of talking to my dad, but my dad got an iPhone, maybe, maybe a few months ago or like a year ago. And we talk way more. And had I known this, I would have just fucking bought him an iPhone five years ago or six years ago just to be able to like,

because it's so easy, you know, it's unlimited minutes. He'll send a text. He's almost like a 13. He's like, I can talk to my dad a lot more worse before it was more of a production. And just like,

um, uh, if, if it's done a certain way you don't really break out of it you know it's because i would talk to my mom and then like you want to talk to your dad hi hi dad how are you doing blah blah but that'd be maybe once every three weeks or something and my mom would be like you know two two times a week yeah so that's been great just the fact that my dad and i have a more open relationship just because he got an iphone technology technology and also i'm further along in my career now whereas that was such a

sticking point for so long because we were like professor xavier and magneto just and like there's a love there but we're diametrically opposed as to what you should be doing with your life and career because comedy was not something that i should be doing and like we would fight over that and i should like i so much wasted potential really he would you would get that yeah i should be a doctor i should be because i could i got your brother do he's a dentist so he did something they would prove of yeah I'm sort of grateful

for my brother to have alright he's the winning horse he he I'm the second child I can be a little

more of a loose cannon does he do your teeth yeah he does help me out like well I get cleanings here in LA but if I need

Like an impression Or I need a retainer Or something You're bouncing up See bro Yeah exactly I get to visit my bro Get some free dental work

Where is he? Up there as well? Yeah he's up there Does your mom and dad Go to him? Yeah Alright I was gonna say You better be proud of him

Look we're proud of him But not his work You know He's great He's like We're so proud of him, but not his work. Yeah, they go. They're proud of what he's doing with himself, but his work's not. He's great. He's like, we're so proud of our son. His work's really good. No, his work's very good.

I think he has pictures online that you could check out. No, I've always talked like this. Just proud of your son, but ashamed of his dental work. Yeah. If you call his office um so proud he has so many open so many bookings he'll come to you he'll come to you you know like a fix a windshield thing he's a mobile dentist okay listen here's another one uber dentist uber hers bro yeah you just have a cubicle job and the dentist has a toolbox and you're like. Yo, I had this idea.

That's a great idea. You can do that cleaning from anywhere. Yo, I'm a dentist. I come to you. You're a busy guy. I got you, man. Do you need a root canal? You don't want to take a long lunch?

I'll come to you. Oh man, this episode's full of gazillion dollar ideas. I had another idea where you know how they have that like face opening

when you're getting a massage. Yeah, the hole there. So while you're getting a massage, you have a dentist come under you. Like a jiffy loop. Like a jiffy loop.

So it's a two for one so you're like so it's pleasure on the back and just insane pain in your face so you're like oh god damn that is good

that's two for one right there he's on the creeper underneath and he's in like that full overall thing just blood all over him That is two for one right there. He's on the creeper underneath. And he's in like that full overall thing. Just blood all over him. And then when you're done, he's just like, all right, so you're going to want to brush more. You definitely need to floss more. This is the tartar. I hooked you up with some fluoride.

Doing x-rays on it. I want you back in six months. Dude, that's good. Yeah. So, yeah, we were at odds. so he's a dentist you were at odds and i did you know my parents were supportive of me what is your dad i never asked he's an engineer okay what about mom uh she was a a nurse and then now she switched over to hair like a few years ago and likes it a lot more but like they supported when i did drama and i would do very they were very supportive when it was just kind of like a thing you did at school but then once i started doing stand-up and it looked like oh he may want

to do this more or maybe have it be a career that's when it was kind of like what are you doing and especially my dad because it's kind of like what are you doing and especially my dad because it's kind of a shameful thing i think there's a way of thinking about it like what will people think and he would always say this thing he would say people should be entertaining you kind of like it's beneath rather than i'm compelled to do this thing and maybe I have these ideas and it's an expression of me. It's less about that and more like, oh, it's this low thing. And you should be the person who goes to be entertained, not the clown. The court jester and the clown.

Yeah. I don't know, man. I hear what your dad's saying when it comes to hierarchy of things. But for me, laughter coming back immediately. Like these these are different this podcast will come out in a couple weeks whatever the the rush of stand up for me is the immediate fucking adrenaline you know right in the fucking vein good or bad you're getting a response immediately and the laughter back is i feel like they're entertaining me. Yeah. Because they literally are entertaining, sitting down, listening to my bullshit, and laughing at it.

So I just see it a different way. I agree with your dad. They should be entertaining us. And if we're doing our job, they are. Yeah. I don't think my dad has that meta layer. It's not a fucking, I hear you on that, but it's not a TED i hear you on that but it's not a ted talk sure you know what i'm saying they are entertaining us by getting the response out of

that we want is an audible laugh we don't want people to go and then leave and go fucking invest in some portfolio you know we're fucking i just want to hear it now see you later and i think look stand-up is an American thing. People can, you could wrap your head around it. It's this American art form and it's not outer spacey. But to an Afghan immigrant, it's more clear-cut with status. Sure. I was going to ask if your dad had a favorite comedian.

You know what's bizarre? As much as he didn't want me doing stand-up and all that he's like i love steve martin he does he loves and it's pretty impressive to me because that is some pretty high iq comedy taste for someone who didn't want me to zero to that so yeah he's like i love dimitri martin's earlier stuff earlier stuff like when that's a comedy nerd or something second album not so much but first album so yeah he's uh it's one of those things i noticed about afghan culture is just sort of we appreciate art but that you don't want your kids to have any part of it that's it's for us to, not to be a part of.

But I think he's learning. What was kind of nice when we were at odds about this stuff over so many years is occasionally other Afghan families would be like, because my career had progressed and stuff, and they'd be like, you must be so proud. And I don't think that's a thought that ever, I'm not trying to vilify,

like I love my dad so much and I love my mom and I love my parents and like, this is just talking about the journey and we come from different cultures and I understand it. Now that I'm older,

because when I was 17 and we'd have these fights and stuff, you got all these hormones and stuff. You think they just, you don't understand me and i want to do this why isn't that enough but then you get older and i understand i understand it so i i don't harbor resentment or anything like that they want they did it they came from a place of them wanting the best for me because they love me they did it because they love me

they thought this was best for me at the time. But yeah, I like that he's getting to hear those things and like, oh, you must be so proud of your son. And maybe realizing that comedy and the arts and stuff isn't just about status. It's not about just levels. You can kind of move culture a little bit. Yeah. Because. Can help people. Yeah.

a little bit. Yeah. Because. Can help people. Yeah. And even say the perception of Afghans in Afghanistan, we are portrayed a certain way on the news and TV. And if you ask an average American what they think about Afghanistan, that weighs in the balance a lot. You're bombarded with negative connotations about Afghans in Afghanistan. But then you have me and my success, and that's something you can point to, and it helps. It's been nice to see the Afghan community kind of be like, bro, I love, it's so cool. I love that you're on Rogan. I love that you're doing these regular things, and you're not just playing Afghan weddings, and you're not just playing these niche that you are breaking into the mainstream. A change of season means longer days, better outdoor activities, and more ways to get healthier, including checking in on your

health and wellness. With Everly Well, you can take action today by taking one of their at-home lab tests or by adding their vitamins and supplements into your daily routine. Everly Well is digital healthcare designed for you at an affordable and transparent price. With over 30 at-home lab tests, you'll be able to choose the test that makes the most sense for you to get the answers you need. I took the food sensitivity test, came back with ginger and I think one or two other things, but that's supposed to make you feel better. Ginger makes me feel worse. Honeydew for life, y'all. Everly Well also has high-quality vitamins and supplements to support your overall health, including vitamin D3 and omega-3 fish oil.

Here's how it works. Everly Well ships products straight to you with everything needed in one package. Simply collect your sample and use the included prepaid shipping label to mail your test back to a certified lab. Your physician-reviewed results get sent to your phone or device in just days. You can even share the results with your primary care physician. It's so simple. Over 1 million people have trusted Everly Well to support their health and wellness goals, and you should too. For listeners of the

show, Everly Well is offering a special discount of 20% off an at-home lab test at everlywell.com slash honeydew. That's everlywell.com slash honeydew for 20% off your next at-home lab test. Everlywell.com slash honeydew. For all of your summer travels, whether you're going abroad or staying domestic and want to immerse yourself in the culture, now is the perfect time to start Babbel. Babbel is the language learning app that sold more than 10 million subscriptions. Thanks to Babbel's addictively fun and easy bite-sized language lessons, there's still time to learn a new language before you reach your destination.

I've been taking my Espanol, y'all. Muy bien. And I wish, I mean, I took Spanish in like eighth grade and then ninth and 10th, but it was so technical. I wasn't even getting English, all right? So now I'm learning my Espanol. And with Babbel, you only need 10 minutes to complete a lesson. So you can start having real-life conversations in a new language in as little as three weeks.

Other language learning apps use AI for their lesson plans, but Babbel lessons were created by over 150 language experts. Their teaching method has been scientifically proven to be effective. With Babbel, you can choose from 14 different languages, including Spanish, French, Italian, and German. Plus, Babbel's speech recognition technology helps you to improve your pronunciation and your accent. There are so many ways to learn with Babbel. In addition to lessons, you can access podcasts, games, video stories, and even live classes. Plus, it comes with a 20-day money-back guarantee. Start your new language

learning journey today with Babbel. Right now, listen to this, save up to 60% off your subscription when you go to babbel.com slash honeydew. That's babbel.com slash honeydew for up to 60% off your subscription. Babbel, language for life. Wait, Bab babble language por vida now let's get back to the dude you know to have an afghan do mainstream stuff i think is great um and i think my dad is noticing that like oh people are appreciative of this and has he had an i'm proud of you moment yet um you know that i'm, I don't think. What's the closest you got? For him, what is that?

He'll ask me questions about, he'll be like, because I got a nice car, you know, and then I bought a house. So there's a little life. He understands life milestones. So when I was able to buy a house with funny money, that is a real thing. You can't fake the funk on that.

So I think he did some inventory there where, oh, wow, okay, because it's in front of you. Before it was just sort of a me versus him thing. But that's in front of your face and you realize, okay, maybe it is working out and maybe my views on this can change a bit or I can ease up, you know. Yeah, but there's no like, I'm proud of you.

You haven't had the shoulder grab yet. I know he is. Yeah. I know he is though. He'll do these things where he's like, how's the car? Like my dad's I love you is, how's the car doing? The car. How many miles? And you oil change, you're doing. I go, yeah, yeah, yeah., how's the car doing? The car. How many miles?

And you oil change? I go, yeah, yeah, yeah. So talking about the car maintenance and also. Has he seen you live? Just the Apollo. Oh, we're going to talk about that then. No wonder. No wonder.

He's like, you better reconsider. Before we get to the story about the Apollo, because I do want to end with a good laugh too. I want to ask, you better reconsider. Before we get to the story about the Apollos, I do want to end with a good laugh, too. I want to ask you're 38. Yeah. Do you want to be a dad? Do you want to bring life into this world? I do. I'm not in a rush.

Like, my clock is ticking. I need this right now. But I do see that for myself. clock is ticking. I need this right now. But I am, I do see that for myself. And this recent bout with death

doesn't deter you from still wanting to do that? What? Be a dad, bring a child into this world. I think it makes me

want to do it more just to remind you. It's twofold. I think maybe my grandma's passing and being confronted with death, that binary.

And then also post-pandemic. I was 36 before the pandemic. And then on the other side of it, I'm 38. It doesn't seem like that much. But for some reason, 36 felt closer to 35, which felt closer to early 30s. And then 38 is closer to 40, you know? And then your grandma passes away. And you think about the timeline of life

and you go, okay, like the bus is almost pulling. You gotta think this way. You can't be a boy anymore. So if you really want these things out of life, now's the time to take some steps towards it. Not like I'm gonna marry who i see the very next day but you definitely have to have your thinking shifted and calibrated in that way so yeah yeah i think it makes me want it more i was doing this bit where i'm like i think i think

i want to i want to get married and i go if you're not then you're just like a guy who fucks like you're just a guy who fucks all the time until you die. I go, don't you want to see the rest of life? That's like playing Grand Theft Auto and just beating up hookers the whole time. But yo,

there's other levels. There's other things you can do. You're like, nah, I'm just going to beat up hookers with a baseball bat. You're just going to be a guy who fucks until he's 80 and then dies.

You're just painting with a guy who fucks until he's 80 and then dies you're just painting with red that's that's great your whole life you're painting with red yeah you're like no i really like red red feels good for a millisecond and then i'm sad afterwards but but that read for a millisecond so yeah i think i'm i i do want that all right um i want to talk about this apollo story because you had said before we were talking before we recorded that you had a story to tell me about the apollo and it makes me laugh that your father the whole time has been telling you you shouldn't be doing this shit and this is the only show he went to see. So what happened? I've told this a few times, but it is kind of formative. It was maybe I was a few months or a year into doing standup.

Already. That's a recipe for disaster. And so I was going to community college. I was going to Bellevue Community College, I think. So I'm in the cafeteria and then I see this bulletin board for some flyer and I go up to it and it says, I had been doing standup for a little bit, you know.

It says Apollo Amateur Night on Tour. So I'm familiar with the Apollo, right? They're going to all the major cities and they're putting on a show and I'm like, oh, that's awesome. I'll audition for this. Right. They're going to all the major cities and they're putting on a show. And I'm like, oh, that's awesome. I'll audition for this. The thing is, I was okay when I first started.

I was in a fucking train wreck. I had some jokes and like I was pretty okay out the gate. How long is your set? I think five. It was supposed to be five or seven. Is it a bunch of people going? So here's the process. I rip off the thing.

Okay, I got it. So the auditions are at the Langston Hughes Performing Arts Center in Seattle. I go one day. And then there's a bunch of people just waiting to audition. Mostly black people. I'm the only comedian as well. You're the only comic for this pretty much yeah everyone i'm sitting next to because everyone's like nervous and waiting to audition for the judges and stuff they're all like dora me do re mi fa so they're all practicing one lady was singing i believe i can fly under her breath just like see me running and i'm just going over my jokes. And so then I audition and I do pretty well.

Like the producers, they genuinely liked me. It wasn't like, oh, we'll throw him to the wolves. This guy's fucking terrible. Like, oh, that was great. That was great. Yeah. So I get selected, which is bonkers. I think out of 341 or 342 people, I got to do it.

So it was at the Paramount Theater. And I think that's the biggest theater we have in Seattle. And I think this is it. So I invite everybody. This is such a moment, such a big stage, such a big show. I invite like all my friends from high school, some teachers come out. I invite my mom, you know, my family,

and then, you know, cousins and aunts and stuff. So everyone comes and it's this packed theater. And I remember I did a dress rehearsal. We did a dress rehearsal. And I opened up the set with some hip hop stuff. I do some hip hop stuff and then talk about being Afghan, I think in the middle of it or after that. And then the producers were like, yeah, yeah, that's great.

That's great. We think like you should open with the Afghan stuff stuff first they're telling you how to do your set i'm so young i don't um i go though they they're the producers they know i'm so green oh yeah yeah okay yeah i could do that i just want to be a team player i go okay i'll do that so then it comes night of the actual show it's my i come out and then i start with the Afghan stuff. I'm like, hey guys, my name is Fahim. It's an Afghan name to be exact. And people are like, boo. Nah.

Hold on. You walk out and say that and you're being booed. I'm literally up there for six seconds, maybe 10 seconds. And all you've done is introduce yourself. Pretty much. I don't know. I'm so far away from it. I just know it was a very short amount of time before the boo started coming in.

So it may have genuinely been that I was terrible and it was just like bombing. But then it could also, it didn't help that I'm opening about talking about Afghan like on the heels of 9-11. You know, that's not a great opener too um so i'm up there and there's like one boo like boo boo boo and then it's like an avalanche it's like a snowball just picking up steam how big is that theater like 4 000 people oh wow it's a stuff of nightmares it's surreal yeah i've been on those stages with sagura so i can't imagine imagine the highest i'm saying being booed by that amount you know how good you feel when you come off those saguras imagine feeling the worst even half of that crowd booing me would fucking make me be like

so i'm up there and they're like, boo, boo, boo, boo. And it's getting louder and louder. And I always say

the thing with comedy in the Apollo is you're done. You get one boo, you're done. With singing, you can hit a high note and be like,

ah. You can kind of drown them out with the music. Comedy, you're just like, ah. It's silent. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. And then the siren goes off like, boo.'s silent. Your words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the siren goes off like. Not her pulling you out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does the clown come out? Oh, he comes. But the clown comes out.

Isn't he a clown? His smoke breaks over. He's like. Doesn't he hook you on the neck and pull you out though? Well, here's the thing. I know how the Apollo works. I don't need to wait to get hooked. I get off on my own.

I go. Good for you. I don't need to wait to get hooked. I get off on my own. Good for you. I'm not going to fucking get hooked. Rub that stuff again. I'm not going to help you with your hourly, hook man. You're not getting paid off of me. So you go, all the booze and all that shit. And then I don't wait to get pulled. I just, I leave.

And that is just so surreal to be, you know. What do you do? You walk off and what? They have to sit there. Here's the thing. So it feels like a dream. That is an experience that I don't think many people

will ever have in their life. Maybe in the- You'll probably never again either. Yeah. Let's hope so. Most likely. Yeah. Yeah, I think 20 years into standup, that doesn doesn't happen anymore get booed by 4 000 people um but there was the

stairwell where i had to walk back up to the dressing room and shit but there was this little desk there you know those l-shaped school with the basket underneath it was there in the stairwell and i just sat in it and i was just shell-shocked and trying to make sense of what happened i go was that a dream was that real how does my life what do i do now so i just chilled there for 20 minutes just trying to put your brain back together and i go okay all right i gotta get my clothes from the dressing room and there's the mental illness in all of us right there the worst thing that could ever happen to you but i'm gonna go back out there and do it again that's what i learned and for his horror

people be like oh my god what a terrible experience and i would never do it again and but for that to happen so early in my career and the fact that I hit the stage a few days later, oh, I was born to do this. Like this is deep-rooted. I can't help this. This is sort of like a shepherd dog just herds sheep. Like it just does that. Most comedians will never be booed by 4,000 people. And most of them that had been early on, you said six months to a year, you're in on this shit. Like that would make everyone stop.

It would make everybody be like, all right, I'm not going to do that. I don't want to feel that again. Yes. I don't want to feel that again. Yeah. Where I was like, okay, this is what happens. I can change this. I learned. I learned from it

I took it as a learning experience and I think that's why I've been able to I was watching this TED talk about why people make it or break through and it's not always talent it's this thing called grit grit is more valuable than all the intangibles

it's just the perseverance to keep going and refining and get better. And when most people would drop out because it doesn't feel good, to learn from that. Welcome, change, hustle, all of it. Yeah, it's all data.

It's not something telling you to stop or whatever. I mean, everyone's different, but yeah, I always took it as a learning experience. But the funny part of it, which is why I called my first special this title, is because on the car ride home, like my dad was so happy. He thought that the horse had been broken, right? Oh, he thought this. He thought this. Come on.

It's almost like his prayers were answered. It's almost like he probably started the booth. I never thought about this until now. Could you imagine? It's almost like his prayers were answered. It's almost like he probably started the booze. Yo! Yo! I never thought about this until now. Oh my God. Just to get it going. It's like throwing a cigarette butt in a dry forest.

Boo! I know it wasn't my dad, but how funny would it be? So it's completely silent on the car ride home because everyone's just like, what the fuck happened? And everyone's so embarrassed. Who's everyone? It's not just your dad?? So it's completely silent on the car ride home because everyone's just like, what the fuck happened? And everyone's so embarrassed. Who's everyone?

It's not just your dad? No, it's my dad. Well, I drove separately. So I hear the story from my brother. So it's my brother, my cousin Nilo, my mom. Oh, you're not in the car

with your dad. I'm not in the car. Oh, so this is unfiltered. It's unfiltered Rahm Muhammad. So, you know no one's talking for 20 minutes and then he goes well there's no business like show business

and I can't hate that is brilliant that is a great line the comic in me has got to give it up like you can't be mad at that no you can't the timing the execution of the phrase i know where i get it from now it's so great well and the well just means the gun is cocked he's got it in the chamber well there's no oh shit that is so good and so that was just such a harrowing thing that i never let my parents come to a show. I just kept it separate. And I was always looking for this, in my mind, I'm like, oh, I'll have them come out when I do the Tonight Show or something. And maybe I will.

Because that's like a thing. It's an easier thing. I've done two late nights now. I might want to just, even though late night doesn't move the needle anymore. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, I know. This is bigger than late night for real i swear to god this will do better for getting views on my special than me doing stand-up on cordon or tonight show or it doesn't matter anymore that's mind-blowing it's mind-blowing um but i might want to try to do the tonight show

just as a throwback and kind of a celebration and the things turned out okay. Put a suit on, fly my parents out. That might be fun to do just to kind of close the chapter on that. I've always thought about doing that. That's nice. But I got busy with all this other Hollywood stuff. Like I had this writing job and then I was trying to do this special and I was still in turmoil over about, that was so bad them seeing me and

them being so opposed to my comedy and that experience was so shit that in my mind for them to see me the next time i wanted them to see me i wanted it to be so exponentially great um so i've been waiting i've been trying to build that moment what about a like a nice main room show at the store i could do that yeah that i can do that like the more you wait we just talked about death for a fucking hour you know you never know kind of a breakthrough like i was stuck in that routine and programming and thinking like I'm 20 because I've just been saying the same shit. But I can't. I need to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to find what that thing is. A main room comedy store sold-out show would be amazing. They come out, and that room is such a great room. When you see it, the 50th anniversary, I thought they did such a great job with the Buddy Rich Band up there where you could see what it used to be like and the entertainment in that building before we started telling dick jokes in there and

stuff. I thought it was pretty wild. It's just a classic venue. You know what I mean? Yeah, it'd be cool. Show them the name on the wall. Yeah. Hell yeah.

And they could see how. That's history. You are a part of comedy history and you could show them that. That's, look, the Tonight Show's cool. I know because your dad probably resonates with him a little bit from back in the day and all that but your name on a building where you worked your ass off to get in there um and then you go in and do a show in that main room and kill like you always do oh they would probably love that yeah yeah and that's easy to do now

maybe i can work on this night show thing and but but in the here and now when they are in LA, I can bring them to the main room and that would be fun. Yeah. But I definitely need to get on writing that wrong, at least for me, to close that chapter. Do it. First of all, thank you for coming here and doing this. This was fucking really great.

Of course. I also learned a lot. I didn't know. It's the first time I've talked to uh someone about other cultures and their sort of um i don't know what do you call it procedures and process of death and stuff um all right i told you before we recorded this your first time here so um advice you would give to your 16 year old self now um it's it's a journey it's a journey and also don't be an island um collaborate have friends come up together don't don't even if you like what you're doing you think we're doing is great it's more important to have a like a knit crew and

friends and come up together don't isolate yourself great that's great and don't start with the afghan material bro don't start with the afghan you you you slide that in midway never open with what you are yeah what you are uh one more, plug and promote whatever you'd like, please. The special, it's called Hat Trick. It's on my YouTube, so youtube.com slash Fahim Anor. And just my socials, Instagram, at Fahim Anor, Twitter, at Fahim Anor.

TikTok for some Gen Zers, Fahim Anor Comedy. I couldn't get that one. And yeah, just catch me live. I mean, we do stand-up. We love seeing the people when they come out. Comedy store or when I hit the road this fall. All right. Yeah.

Thank you again. Thank you, man. As always, thank you guys. Ryan Sickler on all social media. Ryan Sickler dot com. We'll talk to you you next time.