The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Gareth Reynolds - GaryDew

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

My HoneyDew this week is Gareth Reynolds! Gareth Highlights the Lowlights of working as a children’s birthday party entertainer, dealing with his parent's divorce as a kid, and his father's most recent health scare! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: - Get a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase if you visit https://athleticgreens.com/honeydew today. - Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to https://UPSTART.com/HONEYDEW. - Visit https://talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month when you use promo code HONEYDEW at sign-up. - Get a special discount of 20% off an at-home lab test at https://everlywell.com/honeydew.

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and spent the night for 30 hours in the fucking wilderness by himself okay with a hole in his fucking head had a girl uh who ran a bdsm club and she's ripping assholes out of guys all right had a dude that fucking solved an 18 year old cold case when he found a human skull in the woods that still had the bullet in it okay that's what i'm talking about all right it's five bucks a month all right if you sign up for a year you get over a month month free, and you get the Honeydew a day early ad free. And if you or someone you know has that fucking story that has to be heard, please submit it to HoneydewPodcast at gmail.com. I promise you, I'm telling you, the emails that are sitting in this inbox that we're going through, this show's not going anywhere. All right?

So subscribe. Be part of that community. TheHoneydewpodcast.com is the website, merch, ringtones, all that good stuff. Now, you know what we do over here? We highlight the lowlights. And I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I'm smiling already because I'm so stoked to have this storyteller on today. We've been trying to make this happen. He wanted to do Zoom. I was like, nah, man. You got to come to the Night Pants Nation studio. So, ladies and gentlemen, first time here on the Honeydew.

Please welcome Gareth Reynolds, y'all. Welcome to the Honeydew. Hey, Ryan. It's better without Zoom. You're right. You were right. I was panicking in a pandemic. It's good to follow those stories that you just plugged on the Patreon, too.

That's like being brought up after like Chappelle and Burr and Marin being like alright

here's this guy everybody's walking out this dude survived with holes in his head for 30 hours I'm like this is a story

about a tough job let me tell you something the honeydew of y'all y'all have stories unlike

I mean come on yeah I mean yeah for sure. Yeah. You know? I mean, yeah, for sure. It's insane what's going on with that show. Yeah. We've talked to people who've died.

What? Yeah, and come back. It's insane. On stage or off? It's insane. Well, we'll see about this episode for you. Oh, God. Come on, guys.

Terrible. Before we begin, please plug everything and anything you'd like. Well, I'm on the road, so I'm not sure when this will air, but you can go to garethreynolds.com for all my road dates. You can go to dolloppodcast.com for dollop tour dates. That podcast is out and running again soon. Oh, you're doing live dollops still? Yeah.

We're just about to start, but we're going through the rest of the year. And then you can go to my YouTube, which is garethreynoldsnolds tv and you can follow me on social media at reynolds gareth because some welsh guy took gareth reynolds he's a welsh i love yeah he's welsh very specific yeah big rugby guy and won't give it back well you don't want to forward stuff yeah but he won't give it back yeah he'll be like i think you mean this one and i'm like thank you sir that's yeah it's awkward stuff. Yeah, but he won't give it back. He'll be like, I think you mean this one. And I'm like, thank you, sir. That's nice. Yeah, it's awkward. Well, before we dive into what we're going to talk about here today, I want to tell everybody, look, you've got to go back to the Crab Feast and listen to Gary's old episodes.

You've got to say, I'm sorry. Sorry, I hate to jump in. It's Gareth. Gareth, my bad. Cut that out, obviously. Yeah, sure. We'll just snip that and edit. Yeah, don't worry.

Yeah, we'll get that. Cut that and edit, please. Yeah, sure. Some great Crab Feast episodes. Yeah. But I want to talk about, we're going to talk about today, like you said, your decision to move to Los Angeles and your, what, your idea versus your reality? Yeah.

Yeah. Just what I thought, you know, like, i i mean i think in retrospect like i'm very glad i had years of struggling at this business but when i was going through it it was was it dark yeah it gets well okay so so i moved here right and i moved here my plan i wasn't really wasn't sure but i was like pretty confident like I was like, this probably won't take. That what? Now, because I know you're a writer as well. So when you come here, are you looking to do stand-up or are you just fucking comedy?

I just wanted to act. I went to school for theater. So I was like, I want to act. Yeah, that oozes out of you. Yeah, clearly. Clearly. Clearly. It's the stain on my shirt.

It's the confidence oozing. monster. Clearly. It's the stain on my shirt. It's the confidence music. When I see you, I'm like, that's a thespian right there. Oh, yeah. That's what everyone thought around me, too. People are like, this guy's for sure. I want to say you're missing your calling,

guy. Well, I tried. The calling missed me, honestly. I made the shot. The calling was like, we're good. I was like, did I get blocked by the calling? Busy signal? I haven't heard one of these in years colleague it's the fax noise the fax the early internet you're like oh this is not good yeah um so so like yeah so i come out and uh my writing partner who was just like a guy i was performing with at the time and a bunch of people i went to college with they're like let's start our own like sketch group. I'm like, that'll be a good way. And so I waited, I raised money for myself in Boston by valeting cars for like a year.

How much did you come with? Well, in my head, I was like, that'll do the year. Yeah, probably about six grand. Man, I did five. Yeah. And I thought, man. I was like, all right, so that's the first year, probably good. Yeah, first probably good yeah and then after that i'll have to figure something out within that year yeah yeah and so that money is fucking and then you get here and you're like these apartments don't come with

fridges yeah oh everything yeah you're like first last secured what that's all the money i have right now i need to borrow two i'm gonna go back to Boston for a few months. Then I'll come back. I'm going back. Hold the unit. And so, yeah. So we basically start this sketch group. And the only theater they'll have us. And it was after our show, there was like an AA meeting.

And we would have kegs of beer at our show. And then so right after our show, we'd like clean up like kegs of beer we'd feel very guilty you know and um but we probably did four or five shows and a friend of mine from college's girlfriend is there and she's like what are you doing for work and at this point I'm basically just doing living off of the fat of that money that's going away right yeah And then I'm also doing like test market stuff. Like where I'll watch like a TV show and be like, this sucks. Or like, this is really good. Or like drink a soda.

And I got in there and it wasn't great, but I could make like- How do you even get into something like that? Another person who was a loser like me was just like, hey, you're a loser. Like, this is a good job for losers. You want to taste some sodas? Yeah, I was like, great. This is a great loser job. This is a good job for losers. You want to taste some sodas? Yeah, I was like, great. This is a great loser job. This is perfect.

So some fellow loser identified me, right? Not an actor loser. They're like, come this way. And so I'm like, great. I'm like, yeah, I don't even really understand what it is. But she's like, have you ever thought about dressing up costume characters for kids' parties? And I'm like, oh, my God. I didn't even know that was an occupation. I guess in retrospect, I've seen Uncle Buck.

Yeah, OK, it's something that happens. I miss John Candy. And he punches that clown in the nose. That clown is amazing, too. If you rewatch Uncle Buck. I miss John Candy. The best. And so I'm like, yeah, no, great.

And she's like, yeah, it's a good way. And it's only weekends, which is a great feature because during the week, I want to be open to these auditions. I'm not going to book in retrospect. But at the time, I'm like, I need to make it as an actor soon. And so it leaves my week open. Then we can also write with my writing partner and stuff like that. So I go and meet with this guy and um the costume guy the guy

who's you know company it is and um what's it are you allowed to say what it was called or should you not i mean i would love i remember yeah oh fuck yeah because i'll say it because this guy is a great guy i want to say that like the guy i work for it was he really was like the best children's birthday part like performer you would ever have. But his company was Hey Hey Entertainment. And it still is. And again, hire him. He does great work.

But he would answer the phone, hey, hey. And so I eventually got to go, like, okay, you know, it'd be an emergency. I'd be like, I'm going to be late for the party. Hey, cut that out. Shut up. No time for the second hey. Shut up. Listen to me. Where is Long Beach? Because I was, like, new'm going to be late for the party. Hey, cut that out. Shut up. No time for the second. Shut up. Listen to me.

Where is Long Beach? Because I was like, no. Where is Long Beach? Not near the beach. It's a lot of Home Depots. So I meet with him, and he's like, you know, he's teaching me how to do this shit. He's basically like, yeah. He's like, I think you can do it.

Does he have a staff, or are you like his first hire? No, he has like a crew of people who are basically like, you're basically an independent contractor. So essentially- I've hired these people. I've hired a couple ladies for- These people?

Yeah. We have feelings, Ryan. I hired these people. Yeah. I hired two of them for my daughter's birthday one time like different birthdays but one time also i'll never forget it's so stupid i guess this girl had just wrapped the party you know what i mean she's in the costume walking to her car my daughter starts going

there's rapunzel there's a pun so and i'm like what are you i'm part i'm parallel park i'm like what are you talking about there's no she's like yeah and i look across the street i'm like oh jesus and she's screaming the girl like gives us a look and i look at the girl i'm like can we come over and say hi she's like of course sure let's just do that yeah but she's you drive a volt huh yeah yeah i do she's getting in her chevy volt trying to get the fuck out of there Smoking a cigarette He smokes? Yeah I do Cause the prince

The hair was so It's a nightmare I'm so stressed So So yeah So he's And he's like You know he's teaching me

All the things I have to do And I'm past Like what? What is Make balloon animals Okay Which is the big hurdle Can you do that? big hurdle can you do

that yeah you can still do that you'll never lose that skill what's your best uh animal like what do you like i could do the poodle tail thing but it was like you can't in a covid world because you got to suck the tail a little bit you know steal a little air from that ass you know one of those it pops a little so so that one was that was kind of my best one. But kids would be like, ah! I'm going to be like, shut up. An artist, I'm like Banksy. But also how to do magic tricks, like the coloring book trick, which was very, for me, struck this chord because I remember so vividly seeing the coloring book trick

where there's pictures, and then they get colored magically, and then eventually the pictures vanish, and the guy the whole time's going, where the hell are they? And you're like, this is a rollercoaster, sir. Like, we gotta find these... We had them! We had it colored! We had it figured out! The job was done. Yeah, yeah.

Here we are! We're back at... It's worse than when you got over here! There's no pictures anymore! It's worse before we started. We shouldn't have Scra- It's worse than when you got over it. There's no pictures anymore. It's worse before we started. We shouldn't have even started. So, yeah. So, like, so the magic tricks and then just certain games and stuff like that. And he's, you know, he's, like, giving me, like, the run through.

And he's, like, we'll do your first party together. I'll, like, accompany you. And I'm, like, cool. So, like, I have the job, you know. And, like I said, pays pretty well. Like it's per party. But in a weekend, you could do like four parties, five maybe even in a day. In a day?

Sometimes. Like rare times. But normally like four. Sunday, three or four. So the whole weekend, you're just like. Like I remember I would listen to like, you know, KLSX or something like that. And they would be like playing like bang on the drum. I don't want to wear it on Friday. And I'd be like, no, no, it's my work weekend, you know, just because it was going to be

so terrible. So, so he, my first party Shrek. But wait, how you work two days average. What would you make you say? I could make like five between, I mean, best case, five to 600 a weekend. Plus people tip you. That's a job where people are like, hey, your life is dog shit. Here's $20.

Thank you. I need it. Yeah. Your life is dog shit. Yeah. They identify. That poodle's on point, though, man. Yeah, poodle's great, by the way.

It's 20 for the poodle, sir. Love how you suck the air out of that ass. Okay. ass okay but this this money this five to six hundred does that afford you to have your whole monday to friday wide open for these auditions that you're going i would pick up a couple more during the week but yeah totally like i mean i wasn't like making good money but i would still do the test market stuff every now and then so you know i was living with a my girlfriend at the time she worked uh a little bit too but like it's close it's tight but it's enough and i and again in my head i'm like this won't take too long you know we're biding our time stepping stone it's

been we're weeks away from the ammys or some shit in my dumb little head so um so my first party is shrek and are you shrek? I'm Shrek. Okay. And like I said, he's going to come along with me. But are you in a costume or is your face painted green exposed? No, you wish it was that one. It's not that one. But keep in mind, this head is not, you're not like, hey, Shrek.

You're like, did he get hit with a bat? Is someone hurt Shrek in the parking? Melted in the sun and shit. Yeah, someone leave him out for two days in the desert? You know? a melted donkey so it's for like a baby the party which is not regular like normally a baby doesn't even know what it likes

I had a few of those and you're always like looking at the parents like who is this for like this is you know like the baby is not like, yeah. And you're like, what the fuck do I do? And so this one was for like a baby basically. And it's raining outside. So we're inside.

So right away, it's not going well. You're in their home? In their home, like in their living room where like there's the 40 of them, you know? 40? Yeah, and I'm seeing like this. So I'm seeing like through two pinholes and they're like, watch out for that table.

I'm like, that's the first i heard of this object and um and he real quickly like takes the reins from me and he's sort of like getting it back on track you know who is he he's the guy i told you the guy who runs the company no no i mean his character he's just a dude in a magical vest because he's like he's not he's your wrangler he's just watching he's like i want to be a face in the crowd but he's's like, this Shrek cannot navigate the living room. It's for a baby. This is a shit show. So he just starts, whatever, making shit up, jazz.

And they love it. And it goes okay. And so then, I guess, through that experience, he's like, you can do this. But he was like, this is rare. And so then I'm in. And then it's my job it's my only job and i'm working it like i said like all weekend my first party was dumbledore and my own like on my own and i was done with it and i was like tell me about the drive to that your first one on your own well in my head i'm

like this is a great job i'm like i can be i can i can just be like a shithead no problem on the spot and are you always hidden no not always no no there was there's there would like be nightmare it would i would prefer to be in a head but i sometimes i'd be like a prince and i'd just be like oh this is like feels real vulnerable you know it was like because it would just be me and or like the worst one was when i was harry potter because i'm me and harry potter's like an 11 year old and it was for kids like who are 11 and they right away were like why is he so big and i was like it's a spell it's fine you know like stuff where i just be like i did it to myself i went humongous glorious yeah like so i would be

like you're thrown to the wolves so many times in those. But that one. This guy's got patchy facial hair over here, man. And like the lightning bolt that I'm putting on my head. I'm like, nope. So I'll fuck that up. It's like a. Manson.

Yeah, it looks more like a Zorro. Yeah, you're right. Like, oh, no. It looks Manson-y. It's not coming off. I got to go in. With so many stressors in life, it's difficult to maintain effective nutritional habits and give our bodies the nutrients it needs to thrive.

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Don't forget to use my URL to let them know I sent you. Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income, and certain other information provided in your loan application. Upstart.com slash honeydew. Now, let's get back to the do. But you're on your way to your first gig. Dumbledore. Dumbledore. And it goes well, you know, like as well as this stuff goes.

And so I'm like, okay, I can do this. And I do it for ages. I'm doing it every weekend. I kind of, I don't mean this to sound like a brag, and I don't think it will, but I was like his best guy. Out of how many? Out of like seven, eight fluctuating, you know. But there were certainly some, like,

there were certainly some situations where I was like, this person should not. Oh, so you would work with other people sometimes? Oh, yeah, sometimes. Sometimes you'd show up and be like, Shaggy, what doing man i'm fucking drunk you'd be like buddy they can hear you would you get your shit together um i'm not even saying his people but you would def like there was definitely a spectrum and um and so well also the way you do it is you meet a guy in a parking lot you pick up your costumes that's how you find out what you're weak in that is everything

fine that sounds shady as i met a man in a parking lot on fridays up your costumes. That's how you find out what your week is. Is everything fine? That sounds shady as fuck. I met a man in a parking lot on Fridays for costumes. What's your... Is that really how you did it? Yeah, yeah. That's when you're finding out your assignment also?

That's when you see your week. You don't even know? Well, one time... And keep it secret. Yeah, one time I had to... I was Batman at my agents at the time and I was like,

no, I can't. It was too late. So I had to... No. Yeah, so on the weekend I went to my agency and I'm just going like what do you mean at the actual office

at the office yes not someone at the agency's home no someone at the agency ordered at the agency for a child it was believe me I was like I didn't expect this to ever happen that's a twilight zone right there this is targeted at me.

And you had to go be Batman? Yeah. Did they recognize you? No. No way. Even worse. That is worse, actually. Gareth, none of that.

That is worse. No, people just go like, I know, I have a bunch of Clancy Dupuk shit. I'm like, hey, give them a shot. When I was a boy, I went through some trauma, and it worked out pretty well. Give him a shot. Him or her. Sorry. I'm not just. So that's how you get the costumes and stuff.

So then I'm going on. I'm going full on. Give him a shot. I'm going full on in this world. You know, stories. But you're enjoying it. For a while. Or at least, okay, so you've told yourself at least it's a good gig

for a minute and then it starts to become a gig where i'm like okay this is like how long in i would say probably about a year or so okay i'm doing it for years years years how many years well the first stretch probably about three and a half years. Oh, there's a return to the gig. There's about three and a half years. That's a chunk. Maybe three. I don't know. Still, that's a minute.

Yeah, for sure. So hundreds of parties. Yeah. How many people did you ever run into any other one on you knew and all that time? Yeah, one time, this one sucked. There's another shit one. One time I was at, I was Mr. Incredible at a house in Beverly Hills and the head of my manager's company was there.

Again, didn't mark me. He wasn't like, Gareth! And this is just one of these bandit masks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this director

who I'd worked with was like, yeah, and then our recovery into a conversation about work, you know, he was like,

yeah, so what you been up to? And I'm like, I'm just a general loser. How have it's, you know, he was like, yeah, so what you been up to? And I'm like, I'm just a general loser. How have you been? You know, I was like, good to see you. I'll show you. You're in that fucking outfit. Yeah. I'm good.

I'm really good. What are you up to? Really good things. The business is going great. Like the work is flowing. Honestly, I haven't. Oh, I do this. I do.

I'm sorry. I just realized I'm just as misrecredible. Yeah. So there were a few of those. So when you stopped because it got to be too much? Why? Well, no. Because.

So the whole time, you know, I'm cracking away with my. You're about to tell us you finally got that gig. Well, my writing partner and I were like, okay, we ended up getting – so we started doing freelance marketing by day, and they would basically just be like, how many days did you work this week? And we would be like, four. And they'd be like, okay, we'll give you $2,000 to split. So we were like – we had this loophole job going on.

And for one of the things we did, we made this like infomercial idea and Axe Body Spray was like, hey, we actually want to use you two for an Axe campaign. And so just real roundabout and random, but I end up getting a year long deal. I'm sorry.

It's an Axe campaign party. We'd like to hire you to come and entertain. No, no, no. Right this way. All'd like to hire you to come and entertain. No, no. Right this way. All your agents are here. They won't recognize you. Yeah, don't worry. You'll be fine.

It's a fully lit club. Nobody will even know it's you. You can wear a sign with your name on it. Nobody will give a shit. You're going to be LeBron James from Space Jam. Okay? I don't know how you're going to pull it off. Good luck to you, pal.

There's no costume at the trunk on a Friday. Well, that sort of shit would happen. Really? Well, just crazy shit where they'd just be like, you know, they'd be like, do a lot of karate. And you'd be like, what? No. You don't get to tell me what my skills are. You don't get to all of it.

No karate. It's not like the Matrix where you can just put like a chip in my brain. So they would just, or parents parents expectations you know would just be like now you you're do like a perfect vote you know you just you'd have to reset expectation all the time um you ever have any dust-ups at the parties any like people get upset any drunks any crazy shit go down you see families fighting or anything you're in the middle and batman's gotta separate. There would be, well, there would always be people who have like,

if you were like, dressed like Spongebob, would just whack your nose the whole time, and you'd just be like, on the inside, like, I'm gonna find out his car.

Like, I will find revenge. Spongebob's pissing on your fucking door handle. Just mouthing, like swears under the head, just like, uh. And then,

yeah, you'd see beef. that would happen a lot you would see i mean it's also weird because you could watch people watch you in a way that uh was almost voyeuristic so you could watch people be like i wonder what his deal is like and you'd just be like trying it was almost like reading your comments online it would just it was like it was the old version of reading your comments. Getting to hide and watch. Yeah, like in real time, hearing and feeling criticism from all angles.

Hearing it. Yeah. What's some shit you remember hearing? Dude, I remember people literally pointing out you're a loser. Saying it? Yeah, laughing at you. What does it take to do something like, I bet he's an actor? You know, stuff where you're like, I bet he's an actor you know stuff where you're like i bet he's an actor oh dude you're just like dressed up like the riddler

like i've got a riddle my life i'll be in the car please help me please help me i want batman to kill me oh here's why i'm also a batman yeah. Which I have the costume for in my car. This is a great Batman story. I one time, they wanted me to make an entrance over the roof. Get the fuck, who's asking people to do shit? You could die. Yeah, should I show up like hula hoops? I'm like, where's the area?

They're like, they're over there. Will you get up on the roof? And I'm like, yeah, because you want that tip. You know, you want, it's just like any gig economy you know there's the tip's not guaranteed you still are trying to make the situation so what are you doing are you parkouring up there they have a fucking ladder they get a ladder they get a ladder they get a a tall cape and everything on and you're going up on the roof dropping hula'm like, buddy, I'm like, someone put the cape over me like a bride's veil or some shit. You know? So, uh,

so, so. I just would like to see Batman, like, carefully going up a ladder instead of like. Isn't that Batman? Just like, whoop, see, whoop, Jesus! Mom! My keys, my Honda keys. My keys. My Honda keys. I mean the mobile keys. My Honda keys.

I use a Honda key to disguise the Bat key. My Honda keys. I use a Honda key to disguise the bad keys. That's ridiculous. Fuck. Okay, so it's like... How high is this fucking roof, dude? You gotta get out of it how you'd get out of a low pool. Like where you gotta do the jump push shit.

You know, where you gotta give yourself a hip poke. And the step ladder is a step ladder so it goes up as high as so whatever so I get up there I go on the other side I'm like hey Jeremy it's your birthday hey guess who's fucking here go over here we're gonna hang out and then I go back to the other side and then like knowing this now

way more than I did then it's very getting back onto the ladder so much more precarious and difficult. So the kids are watching that part where I'm like, is it closed? I'm like pushing myself back up.

Where my feet... Did I touch it? Mom? You know, you're really close. It doesn't feel like I'm close. Make sure my feet are hitting it. We're like 20 minutes into the party.

Yeah, these kids are just like, is that really him? I feel like it's not him. Oh, God. So, so it's going on, so it's going on for years, man. Just shit like that.

Some weekends, great. Sometimes, like, I remember being a kid, like, a big kid, like, getting, like, kind of, like, pushy with me as Santa. Oh, oh really i was a grinch once and i was like i think this is a cult like as i was walking around i was like oh they're like a full-on cult it was in the middle of nowhere um just tons and tons oh pamela anderson and tommy lee's kid one time broke my uh staff my

um my like wizard staff. You did their party? I was doing Paul Mitchell's party on the 4th of July. Paul Mitchell? Yeah. The hair guy? Yeah, but the guy you picture as Paul Mitchell, it's this dumb story, but he's not really Paul Mitchell. He just bought it, and now everyone thinks he is. But yeah, he has a big party on the 4th. All these people are there.

I ended up doing Schwarzenegger's party because of that party. So there'd be things like that, too. What were you at that party? I was just a games coordinator. So I was just a referee for four hours. And that got you the gig at Arnold's party? Oh, no, sorry. At that one, it was called The Dark Magician.

And it's the weirdest. It was like a four-foot-long extension head, a staff. It was the worst because you'd try to go under doorways, and they'd be like, it was the worst. Because you couldn't, you'd like try to go under doorways and they'd be like, the chandelier! You'd be like, sorry, I really,

where's the, where's outside? But yeah, so you had a staff, so their kid just broke it and then through that, yeah, I did Schwarzeneggers

where I was just the games coordinator. So there was stuff like that, but it was still like, I mean really, I was like, every weekend I was going, man, it's getting harder and harder.

So we get this job doing this Axe gig. And basically what we're doing for this website is we're going across the country just like talking to women, trying out like different techniques on how to – it's really dumb, obviously. But trying different techniques on how to pick up women. And the whole thing is kind of like scripted. And so we're trying to make it funny and they're trying to make it brandy. And so it's not very good. And then their website is terrible. But,

uh, but it gives me this time when I, when I walked away, you know, I give my two weeks notice or, you know, whatever my like 12 party notice. And,

uh, and I'm like, yeah, so I, uh, so I'm good. And I go off for a full year, do that.

Then we also did this thing where we went to uh this evan and i separately for like comedy central's website at the time went to this place called the testicle festival and we shot this video there where it's like rocky mountain oysters it's just a total shit show and so we we had that we were kind of cutting that at the time yeah are they good no they're not i mean you can stomach a couple. I don't even eat meat anymore, so I don't know if I could take down balls anymore. How big is the ball? Does it make you take the whole fucking ball right down?

Well, it's like mashed, so it's almost like a mallet's been taken down, and then it's breaded. But then it's got cocktail sauce, so it's almost like- Cocktail sauce for your balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing's better. Yeah. And so the cocktail sauce

and the breading helps but yeah i mean at some point you're going like it's a fucking it's a nut but you're cutting it and taking bites or is it a is it like a fried oyster where you're just popping it's bigger than an oyster i feel like it's a ball it's a big flat it's pan it's a pancake testicle so you're all right you're ripping down these pancake testicles and we shot this video and we were at the place where we were doing the axe thing from and ben silverman who at the time had like brought the nbc the office nbc and all this stuff and he ended up running nbc and is a big shit and still is he he's there and we're just talking about this thing and we mentioned that we did this test we put on the Tesco Festival video,

he fucking loves it, so he wants to take out a show based on the Axe thing. So we go and we pitch this show, this is over like two and a half, three years. We go and pitch this show, we end up writing a script for Comedy Central, we end up selling them, they pick it up to pilot,

this is the first thing we've ever written, it's terribly written, you know, like we don't know what we're doing, but we get a huge budget for a pilot. We make this pilot. We're not super happy with the result, but we still think we have a shot. And so we're going to be waiting

for like three and a half months to find out because we're early in the session they're doing that year. And as that's happening and in process, I make great money on the Axe thing. But I was told over and over again, like, dude, you're going to be, this is going to launch you. So I'm going, this is my last job real after this. It's all easy money, you know.

So that money at this point is starting to go. And I'm starting to go, okay, well, I think think like fuck like the career like financially i really need this thing to get picked up because you know i'm like i haven't made great money lately and this is it and so we're waiting we're waiting three weekends away from spongebob man that's like my shawshank so so so we're waiting i'm like I need to get a job again a real job so my brother has a construction company in LA in the interim he's like started and I used to paint houses and so you know he's like yeah you can

work so I start working for him by week and you know that labor is I mean it's the labor I was doing was like a lot of demolition and a lot of tiling and shit like that so you know hard work so i'm like getting drained and i'm not making a ton of money off it but i'm like it's enough combined with what i have but i need this thing to get picked up so because in my head i'm like i'm not fucking going back to kids birthday parties like i was very the separation i felt from that job was so final that i was like i will not do that you

know so it's going on and um it's like the week we're gonna find out it's the day we're gonna find out and i'm tiling this wall and um and i'm like on edge and not sleeping great because i am like at this point stressed about it and the grout that I'd mixed was not good so I'm kind of watching like I'm like just in the middle of going like man I've really fucked up this task I was asked to do like I got to redo the grout get the grout off the like redo this tiling job basically and as I'm watching it fall apart my manager calls I'm like okay I go outside and I'm like what's the word and he's like we've got to wait for Evan so I'm like that seems weird and then yeah he's like no it's getting passed on and so I'm like okay so I'm like taking it on the chin I go back to the tiling and um and I'm just like I gotta go to the guy I was working with I was like I can't really process

what my life is right now because I kind of had built a nice like you know I had my own apartment like felt like things were kind of decent and um and just dawns on me like real quick like gotta go back to it and um so I call my boss hey hey and uh I'm like hey you know I need to come back he's like oh great he's happy to have me uh I am really going through like fuck shit like feeling you know depressed on many levels also you know there's like career depressed then there's like financial depressed like i'm like i'm fucked i like i'm not sure what i'm gonna do like how how i'm gonna get ahead of this i hadn't planned really well you know so um so i go back and i do the parking lot meet with the guy and he's like you're back huh you know and i the guy. And he's like, you're back, huh? And I'm like, yeah.

And he's like, I knew you'd be back. You little fucking piece of shit. He goes, you know, people always come back. He goes, there was this guy. He was a bassist. His band went off. I told him. I said, you'll be back.

They always come back. And I'm like, cool, man. Really fucking good to catch up. I need more bubbles. I need balloons too. Bubbles. And then I go back into it and my first one is an old timey Batman, grey suit Batman

and I'm like sitting in my car Adam West Batman like the one that you were like I remembered I was like you don't want this one because the kids are like who is this the roots of Batman children. Let's have a historical. And I'm just sitting in my car and I just start, you know, like crying.

Just kind of realizing. Dressed as Batman. Dressed as Batman. You're crying. Well, either at minimum neck down dressed up. Might not have committed to this part yet, though I probably should have to cover up the red. Batman sitting in a Honda crying. 30 feet away where a pool party

is that I'm about to go to, where a kid's like, it's soon enough, and then it'll be cake, and it's like, nah, fucking cake. Did your Honda have original rims? Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, don't you worry. I never got that crazy. You never had the money anyway.

No, no, no, but even, I mean, I don't think that necessarily... I wouldn't have put it in the rims mean i don't think that i want to put it in the rims i don't think it's necessarily money based with the rims i think that's like i probably splurge in a different way people it's still a honda yeah it's a you know it's like why not upgrade the anyway so i'm crying crying and um go and do it and then do oh you're crying before you go and do it oh yeah oh yeah i'm, yeah. I'm thinking it's after you wrap. It's both, to be fair. It's not just one.

You know, you can cry a bunch in a day. Yeah, I guess so. You stay hydrated. You can do four to seven cries, no issue. So, yeah, I had an a.m. and a p.m. cry. And so I'm, like, you know, in my car, like fathoming my life. And then that whole weekend, I do a bunch of them.

And then that Sunday night, I get this email from my boss and he's basically just like, you know, he saw me at one of the parties because he was doing magic tricks. So he's like, hey, you know,

I saw you. I had just a couple notes and I was like, oh, notes. And know, I saw you. I had just a couple notes. And I was like, oh, notes. And then- Notes. Notes. And then I was back in it for another probably two years. Oh, that's a lot.

Where I didn't, I wouldn't even tell people. Like, because what we had done felt like a thing, it was very hard for me to own my reality when I kind of had sunk back down. And it really was about a year of financial impossibility where I was borrowing money from friends. You know, when I made some money here or there for a gig, would pay people back. But I mean, I was working construction five, four or five days a week, depending on like if I had another gig going or something. Every weekend was doing that, was doing commercials. Thank God was like in that world

and would get, would make scratch through that. But really for a year was just like living so like, I mean, I think obviously people have it way worse. Like I could afford to eat, but I was eating like microwavable pizzas, not by choice. Like I was not going out. I was, you know, kind of like a freeloader um and it was the stretch of time that like just really and it was just constant misery and worry and and also like people who believed in me felt like I'd stop believing in me including myself and um yeah just really like in a way so great in retrospect because it made me learn a really valuable lesson but at the time i mean what lesson that you know you can't you just can see what's right in front of you you should not think too far ahead especially in this business

confidently as hard as that is it's something that sticks with me all the time as far as don't believe your own hype don't be too down on yourself but also you know when you get paid in this business hold on to your fucking money and don't be the guy who's like i'm gonna pick up every tab because everything's fine like there's so many people that you see you know on the other side of a spike and look i mean it's gonna happen to us at some times so yeah so it's it's gonna come so you know you want to be a little more prepared and and to not live beyond your means and also i think especially in la so real quick let me ask you because i learned that same lesson. I learned it differently.

I learned it from like when my father died, no will, no anything, no nothing. You know, he was 42, so he wasn't even expecting it, but also nothing. So what I learned when I made a little money, instead of holding onto it in a sense that, because it's what you say, you're scared

to spend money because you don't know what the fucking next check is going to be yeah you're scared to go do anything and enjoy your life because god forbid i just went to a vacation and now i don't have money for food or rent or whatever but i put money away and i went and got life insurance which my father didn't have for my daughter i went and got a living will and trust which my father never had so that way it doesn't go into court and every parasite picks off of it and by the time it gets to your fucking kids it's not even worth what it's supposed to so i put money into that and i went and did all these things to make sure that if there's an untimely demise of me before whatever the fuck it i don't know 60 something that my daughter at

least is got a great head start and doesn't have to dig out of the fucking hole yeah that i had to dig out of yeah i mean uh it really like i've tried to like not just have my money in a bank but by the same token i mean i feel like like i'm my mother is very similar to the way like where i'm just like i don't spend money on shit every time i do my taxes my guys like that's like you just have shots i'm like yeah i did a bunch of shots this year like i never really but i live very meekly for the most part with like what i spend money on and things like that because i don't i mean i you learn that lesson that way that hard. You go, yeah, I'm not going to fuck future me.

Exactly. And you do have to think like that. And it's hard because in our job, it's like such a day-to-day grind that it's hard to live like just day-to-day. But you kind of have to. I mean, you kind of like just are searching for food every day just like everyone else, you know. But, yeah, it really – like the fact that I got through that made me go, okay, I can hang around at least for a little longer. But it really – I was dependent on friends and, you know, the people around you really like stepped up. I talk about therapy on this show a lot, and I think therapy is great for all of us. And I know a lot of people are scared. A lot of dudes don't think that's macho, think you're soft. I'm telling you, it's not, man.

Meeting with a therapist to work on your mental health, it's just as helpful as hiring a personal trainer to work on your physical health. And the positive impact can be just as life-changing. All right? So Talkspace makes it possible to speak with a licensed therapist right from your phone, your tablet, or your computer. You know, I think it's so good to dive into your past and really figure out what's going on with you, why all that stuff. And that's what this show is all about. We're highlighting the low lights and digging up all that trauma. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, self-doubt, or anything else, Talkspace gives you access to the help you need to move forward. Facing those obstacles isn't easy and you don't win a prize for doing it alone. Join Talkspace gives you access to the help you need to move forward. Facing those obstacles isn't easy and you don't win a prize for doing it alone. Join Talkspace today and start moving forward with

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I actually was going to look for one because ever since COVID, my stomach's been a wreck, eating all kinds of different stuff's affecting me, and now I want to know. So I'm getting the food sensitivity test, and I will be telling you exactly how it goes. And for listeners of my show, Everly Well is offering a special discount of 20% off an at-home lab test at everlywell.com slash honeydew. That's everlywell.com slash honeydew for 20% off your at-home lab test at everlywell.com slash honeydew that's everlywell.com slash honeydew for 20 off your at-home lab test everlywell.com slash honeydew now let's get back to the do so what happened at the end of that two years like what were you able what happened we were able to finally say all right i'm out of this shit well we two things one that i was that asshole you were out and he was like, I'll be back. See you on the other side. I'll come back.

Well, in my head, it's always there. I'm always like, I don't know if I'm fully done. You know, really. Like I am like, there could be a situation where I'm like, fuck, you know, I need money and go back. And he'll be there. Yeah, exactly. He'll be like 80, be like, I told you you'd be back.

I only do sandals now. I told you you'd be back. Dog smoking. I only do Santas now. I told you he'd be back. Santas. And I do. I think that all the time. Santas and wizards. Yeah. Oh, dude.

Wizard is always a good time. But yeah, I mean, I definitely think like, I don't know. It's like, you know, you have maybe two existences in a way. You have the one where you kind of learn how to be a human and then in this industry like you know maybe different than others but there's probably parallels you learn how to be like a person in this business and how to actually survive and how to just block shit out and focus on because someone always has it better someone always has it worse it's really easy to like feel like you're going to compensate in that by you know spending money

and shit like that but not when it's at the cost of going back to being batman and the riddler yeah no so what was your upbringing like like what was your family life like well i was raised by english people in wisconsin so and then and my parents were immigrants they moved to Ohio and then Wisconsin my little brother my little brother my older brother is 12 years older than me okay so they had him and then they brought to you yep well at the start and then my parents they basically yeah were not supposed to be I even talk to my parents about this now

and they both agree like yeah they were not supposed to be married why'd they get married? I think literally because they didn't know that you weren't supposed to like when I asked my dad it wasn't an option not to yeah it was like oh I met someone so yeah probably gotta start having a family

quickly you know and that was just what they did and so they just linked up like real early, like my mother was 19. And, and then yeah, they just got to it. But they, but they did this thing where like, they didn't want to tell me they were going to get a divorce. tell me they were going to get a divorce. So when I was seven, they sat me down and they're like, we're getting a separation. And like, I knew what divorce was like, even in, you know, like in a kind of like whatever child form or nascent form of it, but that I didn't understand. And they're like, so he's going to be leaving, but he's going to be coming back a bunch and you know, we're not necessarily done and all that stuff. So I was like, okay. And, um, that went on for years where sometimes my father was living there sometimes he wasn't sometimes they were like together sometimes they weren't sometimes they would be arguing all the time but and he would be moving stuff out then he'd be moving stuff in

and i went on for seven years where i wasn't able ever to really and i didn't even feel like i could ask you know it was so just watching this yeah just oh you're back they all come back yeah i told you how did he get in here they all come back now yeah i knew i knew you yeah so. I knew I knew you. So yeah, so they like did that forever. So wait, real quick. Your brother, how much older?

12. 12 years? So you're being sat down at seven. So at 19, he knows what the fuck's going on. You don't talk to him? Or is he out of the house already? He's out of the house. I mean, honestly like he definitely was trying to explain it to some extent but you know nobody could really define what that is what it was yeah right so he was even a little like weirded out but yeah he was gone a lot he was great to

me like he would sneak me captain crunch boxes and stuff like that you know he was the man but he also like you know it's kind of their job to be like, here's what our relationship is or something. And so after seven years of that to me my father was dating a woman he worked with and then we found out like she was pregnant and then my dad was like you know gonna have a baby with her then they got married and then so i kind of shut down and like left you know my father alone for didn't talk to my father for three or four years oh and he didn't try to reach out or anything either he did he really wanted to have a relationship but i just was like so furious. I mean, I was watching my mother kind of be broken and that was breaking me as well as I was broken for my own pain, you know?

And that really was it. I just was like, I'm fucking done. It wasn't until I was going to go to college that one of the deal, like my parents had a super bad divorce. So bad that I had to get my own lawyer. And like, yeah, like 14, they were like, you need a lawyer. And I hated my lawyer. Wait, what are you? Are you joking right now?

I swear to God. You fuck with me a lot. I swear to God. No, no, no. Why did you have to have your separate lawyer? Because. And why, if you're 14, do you have to go find that motherfucker? I don't know.

They was, I don't even know who was like, someone was just like, this is your attorney. And I mean, right away I met him and I was like, what the fuck? And he was. All three of you have to have a different attorney? Yeah, we all. But you're not even in this. I'm divorcing you, motherfucker. You're not even in this.

No, but it was like, because I didn't want to see my father, there was all this like pulling going on to the point where I needed to have a lawyer to kind of communicate to this no but it was like because i didn't want to see my father there was all this like pulling going on to the point where i needed to have a lawyer to kind of communicate to my father's camp what i was thinking got it but yeah i mean i mean god i would have relished the opportunity to be in the courtroom and just be like can we talk for a second just lean over so i think that's what they're doing do one of those that's when he hit me with the bell. I just think that he got it. And I'm saying that we do that after. It makes me eat mayonnaise. I don't like mayonnaise. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it ruffles because they have ridges. 12. 14, 14. So I have him. And then I have to go to therapy. But also, the lawyer dude, like, I knew from hockey. Like, I played with his kid oh so I was like this is kind of weird like and he was like what I know you from hockey but also I'm willing to be your

attorney and I was like I'd rather keep it as a hockey relationship um but so so yeah so then didn't talk to my father for years then through therapy basically like we came to terms to just to talk you know when I was about 18 all right let's talk about that. How did that come about? So it essentially was I couldn't qualify for financial aid at the school I wanted to go to because my father at the time was making decent money, but I had no relationship with him, so we were trying to basically say there's an arrangement, but I'm not I'm not part of that school wouldn't have it so I basically had to be

like can you help me partially with college and um and we kind of like met like in this arrangement where I was like I will try to reopen myself well my my therapist who was awesome was basically like you know I think your father's willing to do that but he definitely wants to feel like you're a part of his life again. And deep down, I mean, that is something I want. I mean, I love my dad. You know, I was just furious. And I acted out in ways that were bonkers. Like our school had a school store, and it was tied to his account.

So I would go there like a guy who just sold a franchise. Like the guy you're talking about in Hollywood that's pissing all the money away. I want to buy everyone a shot. I want to buy everyone a calculator. You're all getting nutty bodies today. Well, it's a round of TI-85, so let's do some school swag, shall we?

Yeah. Give me a two-hole punch. Yeah, and some threes, Barbara. Some threes in the back. Cassidy said you guys have something that just got in. Actually, if you go behind the binders near the Trapper Keeper, Give me a two-hole punch. Yeah. And some threes, Barbara. Some threes in the back. Cassidy said you guys have some that just got in. Actually, if you go behind the binders near the Trapper Keepers. Exactly.

Let me get back there and show you what I'm talking about. So I'm like fucking just making it rain in the school store. Got cut off. They had to cut you off. I went there legit for like a pencil one day. They're like, you can't get anything from here again. I was like, can I not get a pencil? They're like, you can't get anything from here again. I was like, can I not get a pencil there? Like, you spent like $4,000 last year,

so we're going to need you to like not come here anymore. I was like, that's understandable. We had a good run though, huh ladies? And then yeah, and then that sort of

opened me up to talking to him. There were all these little things in my head that I was like, I'm never going to tell him I love him. I'm never going to like

really, you know, but as time went on, it was like, not only did I forgive him really you know but as time went on it was like not only did i forgive him you know as it's very hard to re-engage in that stuff but i once i did it was like okay this there's the person that i love here and um and now we do have a fucking great relationship you know but he did have three other kids three other i was gonna say do you have a brother or sister he's got three two sisters other. I have a brother and two sisters. And so, well, it was- So he has five kids. Yeah.

Your mom's still just two of you? Yeah, yeah. She was like, I'm good. This is, yeah. Five kids is a lot of fucking kids. Well, and I used to really crave, like I would go to school with people who'd have like good families

and they'd have like pictures of their families in their house and like, you know, them dressed up as like Western characters and shit. And I would always be like, oh, I just want that. And so I would try to get that going in my house, you know, but people would be like Western characters and shit and I would always be like oh I just want that so I would try to get that going in my house you know but people be like no we're not going to

Sears you know but Jeff Bremmer went to Sears and his family looks great and then when I went to my dad's house finally to meet the kids they got all these things all over like where they're like Western I don't know just like sneaking one of myself in there right in the bottom like the kid who has the soccer ball in front of him like coming

so he went and had the family you wanted to be a part of yeah and it's one of those things too it's like it's not i don't i'm not i'm not saying anything out loud it's just you know it's like in your brain you're like a man's mind is melting right now but he was stoked to have you back i'm sure oh yeah yeah yeah i mean i may i uh yeah you know i mean it's your dad it's hard it's hard it's i i think i never judge anyone for making any of those decisions but my my situation was definitely you know it was a it was a it was just i was so hurt you know and i think when you're 14 living under the literal

roof of the woman he hurt who is your mom and you're watching her fall apart it just well dude we started like i would piss you off my mother and i like formed i mean my mother and i get along on a level that's just bananas um actually we had a web thing we did called Pandemics, if people want to watch that on my YouTube, where I talked to her. We became like sisters. You know what I mean? I was like, girl, you don't even need to tell me. And we

started like, I figured out she smoked cigarettes, I smoked cigarettes. We were like, should we just open this up to smoking in the house? And then that's just like 16. I'm like, mom, can you believe it? Solve the puzzle, Janet. Get it together. Solve the puzzle.

You know, like we formed this like amazing bond throughout it. So it, but it was, yeah, it was like, you know, you, when you, you, you hurt, but when you see someone you love hurt on the same situation, you're like, oof. So, um, but yeah, now I have a great relationship with both of them and they have not spoken once no i remember the last time how's it possible they didn't see each other at your graduation or no i shut my dad out of most of that shit okay because you were 14 and he okay yeah so i come or anything huh i think maybe we had a i i think because he showed up just in the back away from actors he came to one of my plays.

Oh, he did? And he was allowed to watch from a distance, but then he got me flowers or something, and I was like, fuck him! Who wants flowers? You know? But no, I kept him to the sideline, man. I was really like...

I put my mother first in all those situations because I was like, he's moved on. He's got a new situation. You know, my mother and I have two children together and not once have they had to communicate in all how many years it's over 20. I mean, it's like, I mean, it's almost over, it's almost 30, you know, it's getting close at least. Yeah. But it's, yeah, it's like over 25 years. Are you close to your other siblings? But it's, yeah, it's like over 25 years. Are you close to your other siblings?

I've gotten to be, yeah. You know, it took a while. And again, like I said, I set up all these rules of things I was going to do to make my father experience my trauma, you know, turn it back. And one of them was like, never meet his kids. And then eventually acquiesced, you know. And then I saw the picture of the Western. I was like, I'm fucking out of here. I knew I should have done this shit right up in the hallway

you know what this was a bad idea I think the cab's still out front is that a big trampoline that's how prominently you told me they were dangerous well they didn't have them with nets back then you could have gotten a separate net sure they didn't have them with nets back then. You could have gotten a separate net. Sure, they didn't have them with nets.

That was his argument. Well, they were able to build a net around it. I was like, yeah, technically. Guess I'll let you off of that one. But you have a good relationship now, though? You guys are good to go. Yeah, yeah. But you said he had some health problems recently?

Yeah, so, you know, he... How old is your dad now he's 73 okay and um he had a you know i mean i like as you alluded to like when your father passed like it gets weird when you get older with your parents you know because you do start going like oh shit there is this you know this natural cycle of life and and I've been very lucky that both my parents have been pretty healthy for most of my life. My mother had a couple tumors removed, but it was never anything more than just a surgery, and she was okay. But the thing that I always kind of dreaded was the suddenness of that. And then so I wake up one morning, and I've missed five calls.

And it's from my sisters and my my brother so I'm going okay something's fucking up I call my brother you know he's like dad had a stroke and um he had a stroke like and he drove himself to the hospital while he was on the stroke he said it took him two hours to get 20 minutes okay so he was all stroked. Like people are like, this dude doing, you know, like. Beeping and driving. Yeah, just like signaling left. Fuck off the road, asshole.

Just like, yeah, we're in a Burger King crowd. Like, who is this? Should he be driving? And so I'm like, oh shit, you know. As the day unfolds, they're like, you know, he's, I talked to him in the waiting room and he's just going, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, you know, and you recognize there's, I mean, at that point, you're like, just make this person alive, you know? They see him. I talked to him the next day. He's really unable to communicate again. Same stuff. But now I'm FaceTiming him.

I see his eyes. He's trying to say so much shit. My friend who has a mother has Alzheimer's, same sort of thing. You see that there's so much that wants to come out. He's overwhelmed. My dad loves to talk. I can't get it out.

It's crazy and you want to tell me everything, but you can't. And he's going, I want you to put on that Batman costume. I'm sorry we didn't get Western pictures together. And the only thing he could say is that they did make them with nets when I was a kid. They did! They did, god damn.

They went to Sam's Club, you liar. So he's unable to do it, and I'm just going, it's okay. Two of my sisters are nurses, so that's very helpful. And then he starts having seizures and while you're talking to him no no but like my sister's calling me in tears she's going he just had a seizure and i'm going okay

and they're going if they think it's a regular and all this stuff and then he has another seizure then he goes to the icu then he's intubated and so then you you are like going like oh fuck you know like i'm gonna you know lose this person and And that is what we thought, you know, for a full two days really where we're sort of going, I don't think this would happen, where we're sort of going, you know, it's who knows I mean you are thinking like I mean in many ways with a stroke you're going I've had my last conversation with this person but you are going I will take the version where I can just look into someone's eyes and you know whatever I'll take whatever yeah whatever it is so they put him on some

seizure stuff and it kind of like it just changes the game completely where he he they're like it's crazy what's happening because he's now, I FaceTime with him maybe two days after this when he's allowed to, to do it again. And he's, I mean, he's basically, you know, it's basically comatose for a couple of days and, um, I'm talking to him and he's going, it was so difficult, but I was able to, um, talk to the doctor.

You know what I'm going? What the fuck? All from this medication? Yeah. I'm not, I mean, even fully sure. Like, it was a blood clot, you know. That's what I wanted to ask you. What was the stroke? So it was a blood clot.

It was. Where? It was from his heart. From his heart. Yeah. And so the blood clot, like, I guess shot,

it was fragments. So it wasn't like there was one, it was like a clots coming. So this is the coming attraction of the disaster film that's in his heart. Right. It's the trail. These are the previews.

Yeah. And, and so they're able to recognize that. Then the seizure medication they give him in conjunction with other stuff they'd been giving him just kind of like freeze it up his brain was probably under seizure the whole time and they gave him this thing that just kind of put it back to stable and then he was able to start communicating and then you know over a couple weeks then they they removed the clot um and he yeah has made a recovery that is crazy i mean to the point where

you know i i can't really tell you know when i talk wow really it's like that now it's nuts i mean i was just there i was in milwaukee last weekend for shows and you know i was i was i mean every conversation you're like the son of a bitch took western pictures no no you're going like you're going like this is so I'm so extra thankful to be able to have so let me ask you this we talk about

how you felt about the way he was with your mom western pictures trampolines I know we joke about them but I know that's a thing yeah

but during this time where you think you're gonna lose your dad are you thinking about that shit are you thinking going to lose your dad, are you thinking about that shit? Are you thinking about the three to four years? Are you thinking like, fuck, what I would give? Because for me, my dad died when I was 16.

And the times I would have had before would have been, I'd have been 12, whatever. But now, when he used to be like, hey, I'm going to run up to Kmart. You want to take a ride and i'm like nah play my video game yeah now of course you don't you don't think of that so there's three to four years where you consciously pushed him out do you think of that now or during that time i mean i do but i thought more of that stuff. I felt more like, you know, either a day or two days before that, we'd, you know, we'd had a conversation.

Like we would talk on the phone versus FaceTime, but we, you know, had, we'd have conversations where I just go, all right, well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take off, you know? And I was more thinking of that as well as how I really only saw him at shows when he, when I would be near where they lived. I'd see him at shows, we'd have dinner,

but it wasn't really like, there wasn't a lot of actual quality time. And I think that is partially because I was just working a lot. But you know how it is. You could always, if you wanted to make time to take a weekend, you could do that.

I just wasn't in the zone of doing that. It was more of that stuff. I was going, you know, I really really i should have valued the more recent moments that that time i don't want to say anything justifies that but even if we talk about it now he and i i feel like i can explain why i made that decision you've never actually had that conversation like openly about that? Not maybe about that specifically, about the reasons why the rationale behind it, you know,

and he owns like a lot of that stuff, you know, as does my mother. I mean, they, they own their, their portions of it, but,

but yeah, he, I think, and again, he's also so forgiving, which obviously trickled down to me, you know, but he again, he's also so forgiving, which obviously trickled down to me. But he is. He's so understanding that I think he made me never feel guilt about it.

So maybe in a way he kind of freed me from that. But I was thinking more of those things. The time when I should have just taken a day and just hung out with him when I was in Milwaukee or Madison or whatever. But yeah, and that was, you know, that was like five, six months ago. So it's like, oh, damn. Yeah. So it's just crazy. It was a crazy. All right. Now that we've talked about all this, it's your first time on here. And I always ask people advice to give their 16 year old self. So especially this is right in that wheelhouse for

you, right? What advice would you have for your 16 year old self so especially this is right in that wheelhouse for you right what advice would you have for your 16 year old self well i mean particularly like i would say you know embrace the nightmare it'll make the dream easier because i really was like that's it man that's fucking well said well i never really shocked that you said something like that. Someone wrote it for me. I think I got it wrong, actually. I think I got it written down here. I got it wrong.

But when you. God damn it, I love you. But when you, when you're in the, you know, even when you're in traumatic times now, it's very hard to see out of it. But when it's like your first super dark traumatic time, or even just being a teenager, I mean, I remember telling my little brothers and sisters from the Western pictures and the trampoline that, you know, like when they would be-

And the love. And the love and all the, you know, the list goes, they got a lot of credits, honestly. The family. Okay, enough. We're good. Jesus, pump the brakes for a second. I don't need help.

But I remember explaining to them at one point being like look you're 15 like your life's supposed to feel fucking weird right now and too much and you know i never felt i never had anyone really say that to me like you're you're going through just this really fucking weird time um i would have told my you know that it's when you're young years feel so much more precious than when you're old, when you've had so many. So you're so locked into that moment there, you can't see out of it. And yet when you do get out of it, it's that sort of stuff that kind of helps not only form you, but helps form your ability to take on things and respond to things and, um, and handle life. things and respond to things and um and handle life and it's it's a lesson that you can only be taught if some bullshit happens like your father dying or yeah you know i'm not the same person today if that doesn't happen no and and in a way though like it's it's different for your situation but it it's as much as you you always want the situation to be right and you would much rather your father like it formed you you you have formed into who you are you've got you know like you said the response the way you're gonna

take care of your daughter more like it helps you whether it's tragic or not yeah absolutely does and I always look back and go you know I'm glad it happened to me it was so bad the parent stuff but it like you know

I do feel the same way yeah so so that's what I'd say that's fucking great dude well thank you for coming on here thank you I love you

this is such a good episode dude you kill me everything you're fucking so far you're so fast and so funny please plug

promote everything again yeah so go to garethreynolds.com I'm on tour currently. I'm going to the East Coast soon, and then I don't know where I'll be when this comes out, but go to garethreynolds.com.

Go to dolloppodcast.com. We have a bunch of shows coming up. And then go to garethreynolds.tv on YouTube and subscribe, and then at Reynolds Gareth on social media because a Welsh guy took Gareth Reynolds. All right, man. Thank you again. Thank you.

This was great, dude. A pleasure. And as always, Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week. Bye.