The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Gary Adler - Commando Place

Episode Date: September 7, 2020

Happy Labor Day! My HoneyDew this week is Gary Adler! Gary and I have been friends for 20+ years. Gary is a phenomenal graphic designer and speaking of labor, he helped me design and build the entire HoneyDew studio! When you have a real friend who helps you build and design a studio during a worldwide pandemic, the least you can do is help a brother out. We talk about Gary’s son’s near-death experience in Mexico and Gary’s new comic book, Commando Place! Check his comic book out here! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/commandoplace/commando-place SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel & watch full episodes of The HoneyDew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler SUBSCRIBE to my Patreon show, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I highlight the lowlights with y’all! What’s your story?? https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew Sponsors: Go to HelloFresh.com/honeydew80 and use code honeydew80 to get a total of $80 off your first month including free shipping on your first box. Additional restrictions apply, please visit HelloFresh.com for more details Go to http://omaxhealth.com and enter code HONEYDEW to get 20% off CryoFreeze and sitewide!

Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that...

Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. This episode of The Honeydew is brought to you by Omax Cryo Freeze and HelloFresh. More on that later. Let's get into the do. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the honeydew y'all. We're over here doing it at the Night Pants Studios. I am Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. Make sure you're subscribed to

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Use my code HONEYDOO. They will waive the registration fee and you'll get one free lesson when you sign up for a package. All right. That's the Honeydew podcast dot com for everything Honeydew related. It's Ryan Sickler dot com for everything Ryan Sickler related. Now that that is all out of the way, you know, we do over here. We highlight the low lights. These are the stories behind the storytellers.

And today's guest is special for me this is a a great friend of mine and we'll get into what else is going on with this episode but uh ladies and gentlemen please welcome for the first time here on the honeydew gary adler everybody welcome to the honeydew gary thank you ryan thank you that's was my guess. That's mine, over there. Let me straighten this out. Yeah, so, well, first of all, please go ahead and plug anything. No, you know what? No.

Let's do it a little differently this time. Gary and I are old friends. We go back to, God, 98, 9, somewhere in there. Started in comedy together at a spot called the boathouse which unfortunately now is bubba gump shrimp shrimp on the fucking pier but it was a once a month show first friday something like that something like that saturday uh but you couldn't get 20 minutes of set anywhere back then and and so many great comedians came through there from kat williams chris hardwick uh there was a lot of people rolled through the

earthquake earthquake alonzo boden yep um yeah come up on that mic just tons of pull it toward you tons of great comedians came down there and um yeah that's when you and i just kind of really got to know each other really well and you um were wise and stopped comedy not because you weren't funny but because it's fucking it's for shit it wasn't that it really wasn't it so it was the right move it probably was for me at the time you know what it is is um i don't have like an accent or speak weird or look strange or do i and you know you kind of need that delivery you know like if you look at the great comics like curse rock and and um and uh even louis ck and whoever else is out there um the good ones seem to have like this weird affectation and that you

get it's like a hook and i could i could write it, a good joke, tell a good joke. But I just never had that hook, you know. And so I felt like I'd be better off as a writer. And that's what I just started doing and writing and designing and stuff. And I just had said to, you know, look, I got this new space and I really want to do something like old school 70s stuff. I sent you a few samples. And, of course, you do what you do right away and see it in a different world. You start sending me all this shit back. So a lot of people ask,

like, what the fuck's behind you? I haven't yet to say anything because I wanted to do this. So this logo, which, yeah, somebody, it is a little crooked. It's a little tilted. But you know what? It wouldn't be the motherfucking

Honeydew Studio if it wasn't crooked. It's way crooked, first of all. And I was so convinced convinced i was back here like i don't know i gotta go get my you're like ryan i was like i got that shit ryan i got that one try and by the way it goes with the sloping it goes up with the sloping fucking i i overestimated my abilities to execute on the design a lot and i think you had to go over a few things like i painted these stripes and boy were they a mess and then you had a guy come in and do a really nice you found that guy oh that's right

you found it and by the way back there you never get to see it but there's ryan's fucking a giant honeydew just off screen here yeah point to it that's it yeah just like american pie he's just banging a giant fucking rotten honey what is behind me is a collage of honeydew pictures that you put together. I sent you a bunch of shit. From your Instagram people. Yeah, these are stuff you people have sent or tagged or whatever. I don't know. Some of them might be yours, but my favorite one.

So everybody wants to know why the new side, Ryan. I'll tell you why. There was a thinking behind it. It wasn't just something I thought. And this is the truth. truth it's a new studio i thought i'd try new things i'll sit on a new side of the table and also not i want to i want to i don't care about anything anymore this virus hasn't given a fuck about it i don't care i don't care about anything anymore the hair none of it i don't give a fuck i care when it should start I don't give a fuck. I care when this shit starts. I don't give a fuck anymore. So I thought, new side, fucking new studio, do everything different,

emphasize your weaknesses. Not that I have a good side, but this one ain't it, okay? So I purposely sat on this side with the gap on my teeth because I don't give a fuck anymore. I am celebrating all of my weaknesses and my insecurities because I don't give a fuck anymore. I am celebrating all of my weaknesses and my insecurities because I don't give a shit anymore. But this picture right here. Are you going to get to show that to people eventually? We can maybe

take a photo and put it on there for sure. Yeah, we can do that. But this one, one of you out there at a restaurant or a job or something got a POV shot of this dude here passing up this perfectly good honeydew for some camomile. That's some sleuthing right there. I wanted to sit in front of that, too, because that is perfect.

He just passed right on. Yeah, I mean, you said, look, I'm kind of holed up with my ex and my, and my, my stepson and my daughter. We're all quarantined. And you said, I need a masturbation castle. So please, please, if you don't mind, just, just help me make this thing. Yeah. And this was the picture from Nebraska that you put the honeydew on.

We have a, that's right. We'll take some photos and include it in this, the highlight and the low lights above the wall here. Yeah. There's a bunch of cool shit y'all aren't seeing so hit him up it's nice it's and uh it's really well done uh so thank you because this was a lot of fucking work and then you know after we had to reset it up after the riots but here we are i tell you and i wish i would have jumped in my car and came down here but but I did call, and you go, dude, the lights are on. It's probably over.

And at that point, I was like, what am I going to do? I wish I could have done something more. So look, I can't thank you enough for all your help. All the fans have been very positive. There's a couple people like, what a weird color pattern, but that's on me. I picked the colors. You did. I threw in white so we could put some more accents. Who was your logo?

This is Jeff Tice that designed this logo and the artwork. We got Ennian Ash working here. Ethan, I think it's Wolferman. I hope I said that right. And I just mixed those two up, by the way. Yeah. Oh, you did? You called him Ennian?

I did. That's their way to go. Sorry, man. Way to go. I have to take you to HR after this. Oh, my God. So now that that's all out of go sorry man way to go out to take you to hr after oh my god so now that that's all out of the way people been wondering i've been having i've been i've saved it for this episode so there it is that's what's who you are that's what's going on that's how this all came

about we at least it was nice though because this is like you know when my daughter's older this is my uh what i built during the depression you know know what I mean? This is my coronavirus. We had the riots. We had everything going on. That's where Dad started the meatpacking plant right there. Man, I'm telling you. And for me, just so you know, it gave me something to do, like on the weekends. But there was a guy here.

It was all weird for a little bit. But then everybody kind of cleared out. Yeah, once they couldn't afford here anymore. was the when lana was like look these guys are leaving and i was like well i'm gonna come in then yeah yeah she seems really awesome i saw her on that episode and um yeah i wish i it feels like i i should know her but i just don't you know well we'll introduce you there you go so we also have uh i want to help you um i want to show everybody what you got here. You have a comic book out, right?

That's right. Right? Yeah. And here's the little backstory. Let's promote it, everything. Yeah, this is where a good place I could tell you where to go to find the comic book and all that stuff. But first of all, it was you who came to me and said you were coming off a couple Comedy Central shows that were good. I thought were great, actually.

And you said, hey, man, I want to go back out with some stuff. What do you have? I know you used to pitch things. So I think I sent you like six or seven things. A lot of good stuff. And you said, hey, what about this thing? And I said, yeah. That was the last one I did.

No one's ever seen it. You know, I just got kind of tired of the industry and kind of tired of pitching. I used to pitch animated shows. You know, that was my deal. Yeah. I just get anxiety thinking about it. Yeah. But but you and I, we put a deck together.

We went out and pitched and we, you know, we got a little traction with it. Seems like some some people really dug the concept. But then we got into that old rut of, hey, go back and do notes and blah, blah, blah. And at this point in my career, just like you said. This point in your life. Just like you said. Fuck it. Fuck it, man.

I'm not doing it. So you know what I'm going to do? I'm just going to make it myself. And that's what I did. I got one for you. The finger up. Look at this. Yeah, dude.

There it is. Can you see that? Put that right here. Yeah. Commando place and you know it's good because look on the second page there's a small person with a giant dildo and she's getting ready to bang a sumo warrior who's doing cocaine so it can only get better from here folks wow this is really well done though it really is man thank you and i gotta thank my artist um shin momochu who um his actual name is is momochu but his his real name is carl contraris thank you dude yeah that's for you and there's a dedication in there for you thank you but my artist is an

interesting story he um it's like the he he's an amazing artist, but what he does for commissions is he draws really sexy stuff for commission. I saw. Yeah, I saw. And so it's kind of a pretty woman situation where I really want this thing to be super successful and get him out of that business a little bit. Right. successful and, and get him out of that, you know, business a little bit and get into the mainstream because I know that, um, I want to make five more of these comic books. There's five more to go. And then I got another series I want to do after it. And I really want to employ him the whole time. So, um, I got a Kickstarter campaign going. So if you guys go to Kickstarter

and, uh, look up my name, Gary Adler or commando place you'll get right to the kickstarter page g-a-r-y-a-d-l-e-r gary adler could you imagine if it went like that that'd be great it's funny you you know you and i've been in the promo business for so long. And promoting your own thing as your own brand can be complicated and difficult and tough to make decisions, really hard to make decisions. So I'm really proud that I was able to do this book, and I'm hoping people can help me make five more of them. So go to Commando Place on Instagram. You'll see a lot of the cool frames from the book.

And go to Amazon. The book's available on Amazon.com in book format and in digital format if you only want to spend like three bucks. Oh, nice. So yeah, help me out, guys. I appreciate all your support. And your fans are super awesome. They're the best. They're the best. And if they're comic book fans, I know they me out, guys. I appreciate all your support. And your fans are super awesome. They're the best.

They're the best. And if they're comic book fans, I know they'll go get this. So let's start talking about it. We got all that out of the way. A million times thank you for all your help on this. You don't have to thank me at all. You left your family and everything. No, it was nice leaving.

I got two grown-up boys, you know. You got great kids. They're great kids, but out of the house, they're great to other people, you know. Yeah. But you know how it is, man. On quarantine, too. I mean, I can't imagine. What is it, 19 and 17?

20 and 17. 20 and 17. But I got to say, though, after about three weeks, and my boys notoriously do not get along. You know, they're completely opposite kids. But after about three or four weeks, everyone was so tired. You know, fuck. Yeah. Who cares?

I'll be in my room. Tell me when dinner is. So tell me what it was like for you getting older, growing up. Like, they have such a different life than you did. Yeah. for you getting older growing up like they have such a different life than you did yeah i mean it was about this time i think my dad kind of just stopped talking you know like about this time in his life yeah where he was just like fuck it i've said enough and if people need to talk to me they'll come there is a real art to not give it a fuck anymore there's an art to like absolutely there is but he was you know

he was good like if i ever had an issue with him or needed to ask a question or something about the family always always had a lot of information he just wasn't forthcoming with it like hey did you know blah blah blah it just wasn't that guy that's silent yeah that's my brother he's like that like hey man how you guys doing everybody good yeah that's it but then that's it. I'm like, hey, man, how are you guys doing? Everybody good? Yeah. That's it. But then that's it. Yeah. But you could draw it out of him. Well, I can.

You have to. And he will. Like, well, how are the kids doing? Yeah, Tate's doing all right in Little League. That's it. No unassisted triple plays. Nothing. No highlights. No what's the record.

You know, none of that shit. Nothing. Yeah, he's doing good at shortstop. Maddie's in a recital. I've never met your brother, dude. You guys seem super opposite. Yeah, we are. And then he goes, he almost cried.

And I said, you know what? Next time, let yourself. Go ahead. Push the boundaries. Go for it, man. Oh, man. Yeah, my kids don't get on. But I'm super happy because in december

our family threw a huge surprise party for my dad who's 90 oh wow and my stepmom who's 70 and they've been together for 40 years you know okay and um um start you can do the math it's fine um uh so uh thank goodness we did that with all the family and friends in this one venue and great celebration. And we had the band that played their wedding came back and played for them. They're all still alive? Everyone's still alive. That's a miracle.

Crazy, right? But because we couldn't do it now. I don't even know when I'm going to see my dad next, you know, like he lives in Miami in a condo. Like, Whoa, my flying there. It's just weird right now. So, um, I I'm just super thankful that the family could get together that, that time in December, you know, that was cool. So what was, were your parents got divorced though? Right? Yeah. My parents, when I was 11, my parents got divorced. And immediately, I don't think it affected me that much.

It affected my older brother a lot. Why more him? I think he's just older and it kind of hit him a little harder. Like the reality of separation and the uncertainty of it all. But you're all in Florida at the time? We were. And then my mom met a guy and we moved to colorado so now why does mom get to take the kids this is or was dad cool with it you know i doubt he was cool with it i really do um and in fact i'm sure he wasn't cool with it but i don't think there was much he could do about it at the time you know just based on the

laws back then yeah i was gonna say back then plus it's florida they probably yeah so we moved colorado with this guy that my mom was dating um his son became a very famous actor and um he and i palled around a little bit together in colorado he he was this huge dude at 15 he was like 6 4 250 big big fella damn he was that big then yeah he was huge and um uh i was just a little shit you know and uh 11 years old 12 years old and he was a magician at the time i was his magician's assistant you know and you know what i'm talking about i don't know if i could say it or not say it um but it was it's uh vincent d'onofrio you know who that is yeah so yeah his dad and my mom hooked up in the theater in miami he was a director and then we all moved to colorado and uh so you were step

brothers for a minute yeah we were sort of step brothers yeah but we got in a lot of trouble together like um there was one time when we were walking. We lived on Rainbow Hill Road. If anyone's from Colorado, they know this street. It's very famous. It looks over El Rancho Restaurant. And we were walking down the street. Wait, is El Rancho the restaurant that South Park does with the guys or Cliff Dive and all that?

It's like all kinds of crazy shit in Colorado. Maybe. Or like they're diving off the thing they got the bands everywhere is rancho restaurants on off of the i-70 and our backyard looked right at the el rancho restaurant i don't remember there being cliff diving or anything somebody out there i don't know what that restaurant is you know south park is a cartoon so that fucking restaurant's real so anyway um yeah we walk down the street commando place oh this is absolutely

um we're walking down the street and we see over the side of the cliff we see this garbage bag right flies and stuff like oh let's go see what's in that garbage bag so we go in there how old are you i'm probably 12 and you're with probably 16 yeah it's just the two of us and uh so we go down and we see it's a german shepherd it's dead it's in the garbage bag so we go home and call the cops and then we go back and hide up in the woods and wait and just watch the whole scene go down what do you tell them is in the bag? We said, we don't know what's in the bag. We're not sure. We saw flies and blah, blah, blah.

And then it was back then where you didn't have to wait for the cops. We just perched ourselves above the tree line and watched them sweat it out. Hardcore, man. And the dude came down there and he was like, it's just a dog. It's just a dog. And the next guy, just a dog. And we were like, get him back out there. Oh, man.

We had a lot of fun. He's a good guy. I never really followed up with him after we moved back to Miami. I was going to say, you've never reached out. I wrote a screenplay once with him in mind as the villain, and I reached out to his agent. He'd look great on this. He would be awesome.

He'd be great in the commando plays Vincent D'Onofrio. You could do a VO for that Vincent D'Onofrio. Come on, man. Anyway, so then we moved back to Miami, and then we were apartment kids for a while. Yeah, that was interesting. That was cool. You had never been.

Is that the first time you've been in an apartment? remember going from a house to an apartment like what's this we don't have a yard we don't have any place to go we gotta like outside as soon as you step outside you're off your property yeah you know i hadn't that was new to me and we were we were just fucking nuts in there too because it was just my mom she had no control over us we were doing fucking nuts in there too. Cause it was just my mom. She had no control over us. We were doing drugs and fucking around and skateboarding. Yeah. Oh my God. What age did you start? Uh,

I started smoking weed in Colorado when I was 14. Damn. Okay. Yeah. Great. And in Colorado we had, we had jocks, we had hippies and we had cowboys,

which was a new thing for me coming from Miami. I was like this hippie kid with long hair. And I remember the first day of school at Bergen elementary school. Um, it was, it was like three feet of snow outside and they're like, all right, recess.

And I like, I'm from Miami. I was like, all right, we're going to draw, you know, I can do some blocks. And we went outside and played football in the snow and I just got my ass

kicked, dude. I was like, God damn, these kids are hardcore, dude. I was like, God damn. These kids are hardcore, man. And then the fucking cowboys who literally had giant cowboy belts on. And they rode in rodeos and all kinds of crazy shit. That was a whole other factor that I just was just out of my element.

But that's when I started smoking weed and getting in with the jocks and hippies. Seemed to be the same crowd sometimes. And then you went back to Florida. And what age are you there? 13, 14. And then what, that's high school years there? Yeah, I started wrestling junior high school. I know you were a wrestler too, yeah.

I loved wrestling. Yeah, me too. I think it taught me a lot about life. I was good. And I got a funny story when I was in my senior year of high school wrestling i didn't cut any weight for the first time in my life i never had i i never did that i was never able to just not cut weight yeah i was just i always wrestled the smallest weight class but and and when i was a senior i wrestled 122 right that was my natural weight. Wow. Yeah.

Which is so light. We changed districts to District 15 from District 16. There was a couple good teams in there. At District Finals, our entire team made the finals. Damn, every weight class. Every single weight class

and i remember almost getting stuck looking up at the lights and looking over at my coach and he's like dude you don't want to be the one you know so i reversed it you know did the bridge stuck home and i was like yeah i'm in at night, you know, when the finals came around, the lights went out. You know, the bell light comes. Yeah, the light comes down. And our whole team was on one side of the mat. And all the other teams were on the other side. And that was the front page of the paper the next day.

So that was kind of a cool moment, you know, sports moment for me. And I lost my match pretty good. Did you? That's all right. I got wiped up a lot. Not a lot. Not a lot. Not a lot. But whenever I gave up weight to a guy who had muscle, if I was giving up 10 pounds to

a kid that was fat, I had him. But if that shit was cock diesel, I was like, you ain't going to pin me, but you're going to run my face all over this guy. Damn, Matt. I'm going to get headburn all over. Dude, man. Yeah. There's a lot of stories about wrestling and cutting weight.

And I hope they don't. I don't know if they do that anymore. But people were taking X-Lax and all kinds of crazy shit like that. I never did that myself. But I don't know. I ran off the mat one day just shitting my pants. You know, right after the match was over, I just ran. It probably stunts our growth to an extent,

like cutting weight and all that shit that we would do at that age. We clearly stunted that. Yeah. Thank you. I can't believe you're 122, dude. Yeah, I'm like 175 now. I'm 5'10". My brothers are both over six feet,

and I wonder if part of that was wrestling. Wait, your twin brother twin brother yeah he's like six two no kidding yeah i guess you could but you didn't you said you didn't cut weight so no i i said i never was able to not cut weight i always was cutting did you ever have that guy who had to gain weight to be a heavyweight yeah we did he was eating bananas and drinking milk right it was only one time i ever got to do this was the best ever i didn't have to i was 15 bananas and drinking milk. It was only one time I ever got to do this. This was the best ever. I didn't have to. I was 155, and the coach is like, we don't have.

I think it was a 65-pounder was not. He got sick or whatever. He's like, I want you to bump up to 65. I'm like, I can't. If it's a fat guy, I got it. If it's muscle, I won't get pinned, but we're losing that. And I will never forget everybody remember how people were starving and they just wanted to weigh in i went up on that scale and i singlet my whole sweat pants sweat jacket i had my headgear hanging

from the side and i was eating a cup of pudding and that thing didn't even come up and i was like oh was there a minimum weight no you could be you could be 100 pounds wrestling 165 as long as you had that spot filled that's fine um my whole thing was showing up to weigh in and my skivvies and my glasses you know with the little like thing that attached in the back and everything just looking like a full fish that was my move you know this one's still i'll never forget this these guys that were all in high school that will never i don't know why this would be probably i'll probably forget my kids names at some point with alzheimer's and remember this shit but we called this dude mega dick because he had a mega death t-shirt on and his weight was it was going teetering like

this and they're like take your t-shirt off and instead of taking the t-shirt off he had like a gold chain on and he just snapped it off his neck and throw it on the floor and it did it we're like whatever this fucking clown old mega dick over here get the fuck off the scale um so look i i want to ask you about a story because it's a i want to talk about what happened to beck okay can we talk about yeah sure we can talk i mean walk through it because i know i know it but i don't know it and and it gets fucking crazy and intense so beck is is your son he's my youngest son he's 17 um he had a really good amateur surfing career he's um he was moving into the sort of pro ranks until COVID hit. And there's just no professional surfing anymore right now.

So he's teaching surfing up in Malibu, which is really cool for the time being. And I guess when he was, I think he was 12 years old. Yeah, maybe a little younger, 11. We we went down to baja with another couple families um northern baja like we got a house at las gaviotas i don't know if you ever been down there but not there um yeah it was cool we had some good surfing days and uh and then the older kids wanted to go to the ATV place, which was about two miles south, and rent ATVs. And then the two younger boys, Beck and his friend Willie, were like, Dad, we really want to go, blah, blah, blah. And they're just chewing my ear off about it. And my son is super stubborn, which does make him a really good competitor at times.

And so I was just like, fuck it. Okay, go. But you don't go with him? No, I went with him. Oh, you did? And I brought the camera. So everyone's got their ATVs and off they go and I start filming. How many people total?

Probably six kids. Okay. And you're the only adult? I am the only adult there the other dad stayed okay i believe he stayed back yeah if i'm not mistaken but he was a huge help i just can't remember if he was at the atv so i'm filming the kids and they're all having a good time and then i see my older son west coming right at me like flying, like flying. And I'm like, oh, cool. He's going to do a little donut or something, blah, blah, blah. And then I see just terror on his face.

And he's just like, dad, Beck went over a cliff. Beck went over a cliff, full speed, like 20-foot cliff. And I'm like, holy fuck. He's fucked up. He's fucked up. And I know I'm going to start now so because i'm reliving it but uh so all of a sudden i see beck screaming up on his atv there's no seat you know things are flapping around and he's just bawling but coming full speed bawling spit flying out of his, crying at the top of his lungs.

And I'm like, all right, at least he's fucking alive. So I run over there and I'm like, what's up? What's up? He's like, my leg, my leg. So I go over to the other side of the ATV and I look down and I just see his bone. You know, his his from his knee to his foot is just splayed open. Like butterflied, like Like butterflied open? Just butterflied open.

All down the shin? Yeah. Just – if this is his, it would just be from here to here. God. And I see the bone and I'm like, oh my God. He's just gushing. So I pick him up. I put him in the back of my truck.

I pick him up. I put him in the back of my truck. And at that point, I'm just sort of letting other people do the ambulance stuff and all that. The guy who owns the place called the ambulance is on his way. And I'm just trying to talk to my son like this, just going. He's like, hey, am I going to lose my leg? You know, this kid was, he had the trajectory. He was sponsored by Hurley and a ton of other people. And, you know, I'm sure that was going through his head.

And I said, you're not going to lose your leg. You're going to be okay. And then I just fainted, you know. You did? I looked back at my older son and I said, I'll be back in a minute. And you dropped. I'll be back in a minute. Yeah.

And I just hit the bed. That had to be scary for the kids to see too. Like, oh shit. You have to understand. How long were you out? Just about 30 seconds. That's a long time. That was a while, yeah.

30 seconds is a long time. In a panic situation. But I remember going, I'm back. Hey, you were only gone for half a minute, Dad. I'm back quicker than I thought. Oh, man. I didn't know you fainted. So, yeah.

Oh, shit. Not the first time I fainted. I got another good fainting story. But, yeah. not the first time i fainted i got another good fainting story um but uh um yeah so uh then i remember the other dad showing up because they must have called him and uh we got the ambulance on the way um so i said beck just i put a i think i wrapped my belt around his thigh or something like that did something um and uh then the ambulance came and we took him to rosarito hospital just to clean it up yeah well you've seen the cats walking around there right i so and i gotta say i walk in there's a dude eating a sandwich okay at the

hospital yeah and i'm like where's the doctor and he puts the sandwich down and he goes on the and i'm like no seriously so uh was he really yeah he was the doctor but let me say something because the guy did a tremendous job he cleaned out my son's wound he wrapped it real good and then he called the other ambulance so wait that's what i want to go back to so the ambulance that picks up you guys is this like is it state of the art like what are we talking about well yeah the ambulance certainly is state of the art and but so are they cleaning them out and like are they prepping him in the ambulance?

No. Or they're just running him there? No, they just ran him. They're not doing any... Okay, that's why I was wondering if there was equipment in there where they could start helping him or turning him. They were making sure that he was conscious and everything. Okay.

And he was, you know. But yeah, then they cleaned out the wound real good and wrapped it up. I think we were there for maybe an hour, maybe an hour and a half. I paid the ambulance. I paid the hospital cash cash then another ambulance came that could take us to the border where an america u.s ambulance would come and pick us up so why was that well they wouldn't do surgery there or well i didn't want them to oh yeah i just needed to get them to the states you know so we're in the ambulance and the guy gets in the wrong fucking lane to the border yeah so 45 minutes people are trying to

sell me churros and shit bro and my son's bleeding out in the back man every now and then i'm like you okay like you want a churro? He's like, no, I'm good. You want a last supper plaque? Plastic monkey. Plastic monkey. Surfing monkey. You need a blanket? I've been through that border check.

I almost bought a last supper plaque. Flipping out. So they can't turn their lights on and get people to... We thought we were going in the fast lane, but what they've done is they've sold that fast lane now to fast pass people. So you're just in line with everybody else, but he got an actual wrong line, not even in the fast pass lane. So at that point, I called my wife who's in LA and I'm like, look, you got to meet us down here in San Diego, just get in your car.

And she's like, what happened? I said, there's been an accident. It wasn't surfing. Just come, you know? And I called the hospital just over the border. I don't want to say the name of it, but the lady at the front desk was so fucking cool. And she goes, you don't want to come here. She goes, go to Rady's Children's Hospital, which is another 10 minutes just taken there and I was like okay so when we got there oh first of all fuck we got to the border and then we

transfer in the ambulance and I'm like let's go let's go and they're like no we gotta unwrap and see if you got drugs in his wound and I was like are you fucking kidding me you know the guy the kids gotta get sewn up but it's bad i said it's really bad they're like how bad am i really bad so they're like we still have to do it it's protocol so they unwrapped them and you know made sure there wasn't

drugs in the wound how fucking drastic is that yeah but i bet you they've seen everything i'm sure they have man so they were they were cool they They wrapped it back up. We went to Rady's Children's Hospital, and we got into the operating room right away. And the nurses were so cool. They already had Beck surfing at it on an iPad. As soon as they rolled him in, they're like, is this you? Wow. Yeah.

And he goes, yeah, that's me. And they're like, wow, tell me about that move. Meanwhile. Keeping him off. Yeah. And, and, and he goes, yeah, that's me. And they're like, wow. Tell me about that move. Meanwhile, keeping them off. Yeah. And the doctors are like, you got one second. If you want to take a snap of this wound before we heal it up. So I walked in there and went snap. And, uh, that's the picture I sent you. Yeah. That thing is gnarly. Let's take a quick break and tell you about our first sponsor. Oh, Cryo Freeze. Living with chronic pain is the worst. It's more than a feeling of discomfort. It can affect your whole life. Many of you probably have some type of pain that's prevented you from relaxing and sleeping or stopped you from exercising. Perhaps it's been ongoing for a few weeks now and hasn't improved with any of the

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all right, and use code HoneyDew80 to get a total of $80 off, including free shipping on your first box, all right? Additional restrictions do apply. please visit hellofresh.com for details that's hellofresh.com slash honeydew 80 now let's get back to the dude yeah i thought i ruined my son's life you know yeah making that decision worst decision i ever made in my life but like which one you mean letting him go letting him go to you know like and i saw the atv was too big for him you know and so was the helmet and you know it like, and I saw the ATV was too big for him, you know? And so was the helmet. And, you know,

it was just like, fuck man, all that parent gut stuff. And then, you know, there's a, there's a, there should have been marked with tires,

you know, this cliff and it wasn't, everything's dunes. So you just think, Oh, I'll just go over this dune. And he gunned it and fucking boom, just free fell.

So what happened? Was anything broken? He broke his back. His back? That one, you didn't even know that at that point, right? Yeah, after we got to the hospital, they did an MRI. I don't remember that. So he broke a couple vertebrae in his back.

And then he had how many stitches, dude i don't know 60 or something stitches or staples that close that leg up there was stitches and then staples damn and i thought like literally i like uh they said um you know we may have to do like all this graph and all this stuff if if it's not taking and so my wife and i were agonizing you know in the waiting room like fuck my just fuck my kid's life up you know and uh and uh so he uh the the doctor came out and said we were we were able to you know do it without any grafts or anything you know blah blah blah so then it was a big tough recovery time for him that was a hard time for him being in a wheelchair and all that yeah because he can't do anything.

He's active as hell. It took him five months to get back in the water, I think. Damn. And how is it now? He's good now. He's got a huge scar. And I'm sure he lost some strength out of that calf, you know? What took longer to heal, the leg or his back?

I feel like your back was- I think the leg took longer to heal, yeah. Yeah. Just in a sense that you don't want to get infected if going back in the water. He did a shit ton of rehab. Thank you, Sophia Costa, by the way, who is PT. I didn't know you passed out. Yeah, man.

You said you had another one? Oh, yeah. Well, that was the first time I ever got a BJ. Nuh-uh. Yeah, for sure. You passed out? It wasn't at the time. It was after. Okay? Well, that was the first time I ever got a BJ. Nuh-uh. Yeah, for sure. You bet. It wasn't at the time. It was after.

Okay? So it was the first time. Yeah, I guess I could say who it was. So when we came back. No, don't say names. I'm not going to say who it was. When we came back from Miami, my mom had this way of meeting guys and moving into their house with us.

So we moved into this dude's house in coconut grove and he had a really cool family um but yeah um one of uh one of the daughters you know hooked up with her and i just remember like i was like wow this is amazing you know getting that first time like i think i was 15 you know 16 and then i got up to piss and in the middle of my piss i hit the porcelain so fucking hard dude i just went boom bounced off how long were you out for that one it's never happened again man so that must have been the best blowjob in my life it's all downhill from that yeah man did she know it did she come in i don't think she knew it's all downhill from now. Passed out. Yeah, man.

Did she know it? Did she come in like, I don't think she knew. What's that bump on your lip? Like what? You should have fucking, she probably would have been like, oh my God. She knows now.

I guess so. Anyway. Man, you and I got fired together. How about that? We got fired twice together. Yeah, the same day same day yeah yeah uh well we won't say where but we were working together and rhymes with disney on a project yeah on a project that i remember you got called first yeah we were at it in the

edit bay and i was like all right i'll save you some pizza and then i got i was like let me take this pizza oh man i remember lighting a cigar and being escorted off the lot yeah i they were like do you need a box for your things i'm like no i don't keep anything here i i'm just gonna grab my bag our office is right next door yeah you introduced me to uh the ricky gervais office in that building oh yeah here's another thing in that building too and i i've never tried this ever again but do you remember that time we were sitting at the commissary like outside it was almost the end of the day and you had some cigars yeah but you're like my brother sent these up with some rum oh yeah but they broke and the cigars got rum soaked, but now they're dried out.

And we had to go back. We had like an hour or two of work left, and I smoked maybe a quarter of that cigar. And let me tell you, I was fucked. Really? I was fucked up more than I've ever been on weed or anything. I was like, God, you can smoke rum? There you have it, kids. Soak your cigars in rum, right?

Cuban cigars accidentally soaked in rum and we smoked them and it fucked me up i thought it was tequila thinking back on it because i remember he sent me yeah whatever it fucked me up yeah that was the cigar i lit on my way out the door that's a double win right there that was a crazy place too man that whole prospect lot that's where we were on the prospect lot in Los Feliz. Yeah, man. Well now look, now look, man, here we are now, you know, I'm, I'm super thankful that I have a job, you know, and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm really thankful that, you know, you get to continue doing this thing. I hope it's making you some money, you know, cause I know you're not on

a road anymore. You know, nobody is. Yeah. I, is yeah i like i i turn on the facebook every now and then and and you know some of the comedians are just so it just seems like desperate times right now and i feel bad for a lot of my friends out there you know um but listen hey hopefully things will turn around and people can get back on stage and Look, man, I haven't panicked. It's all good. It's going to be whatever the fuck it is. When comedy does come back, it'll be awesome when it does come back. But it's not going to be.

I mean, Joey Diaz just hit me up. It's 2021 and Philly is canceled. The shows are canceled until, I mean, excuse me, 2020 till 2021, February, I think it is. New Year's parade already gone. Like it's, until there's probably a vaccine, you're not going to see the comedy store packed out like it was. You know, all these venues packed out, concerts, arenas, you know, football stadiums, all that shit. But I want to talk about, you got some more stories here. I don't know what first time, second time is. First time, second time. Oh, the second time I got laid.

Um, I think I told this story on, uh, uh, your other podcast on the crab feast. And, um, but yeah, the second time I laid the, the, the girl who I slept with the first time was the same blowjob girl. Okay. And then she must have- So you lost your virginity to the girl that made you pass? I did. I lost my virginity to her too after that. And it was amazing.

And I guess she recommended me to one of her friends or something. That's nice. So she came over, but she had full like back brace on that was screwed into her temple the halo dude yeah so but she was super my friend rebecca had one of those because she broke her neck yeah so i guess she was just ready to get laid after a lot of rehab or something but it was still on it was still on but i took it we i helped her take it on her robocop i helped her i helped her take it off i remember and i had to be super gentle yeah with her but it was you know that's how you know how horny you are when you're a kid because as a grown adult you'd be like let's just wait for that i was

like oh yeah i'll work around that. That seems fine. Just give me a 360. That poor girl must have been so horny, too, to take that whole thing off. It's dangerous to take that off. Let's hand me an Allen wrench. Let's get to it. Yeah! Oh, man.

Let's go as slow as possible. Yeah, that was kind of nuts, man. I don't know. Shit happens to me. You know, that was a weird one, dude that but that was an introduction to sex like the first two times one faint one thing i didn't know what was coming you must be into some freaky fucking shit now to get all faint and robo i don't you know i'm so i've been married 21 years you know to my lovely wife emma and uh thank you um oh dude she's a she's in your business always up my ass always everything's always a uh an

insult with a smile oh yeah yeah that's my whole life yeah but um we you know we we don't i think the first um i remember the first our first date we were talking about anal sex okay like i'd never i've never done it i never had it i've never done it to me or do somebody. And I think we were chatting about it. And I'm like, oh, I like this girl. She's talking about anal sex. But her proposition to me was, I will if you will. In other words, if you go buy a fucking dildo and I can shove it up your ass, you can do that to me.

And so I just never took her up on it. It's been 21 years. She did a good thing. She was like, here's the deal but it's just never interested me like weird kinky sex never never interested me at all i don't know i'm just not down with that what's the when it comes to dating like what's the weirdest date or breakup or anything like that you've ever had? It was probably the head trauma. You're not sure I could beat that, dude.

I mean, you know. The head trauma. I'm like, what's on my knee? She's like, that's one of my bolts, you know. Yeah, man, I don't know. The head trauma. If I think of something, i'll throw it in there but that was pretty gnarly dude

dude i'll never forget walking in and like and i had to make that decision like you know am i gonna get laid or do i have to deal with this shit and it wasn't even a second she was cute though super cute but she wanted to have sex with that thing on she wanted to have it with it off which really scared me you know but um yeah and then you had to help her put it back on and she had the little divots you know rebecca still got the scars where it bolts into your skull yeah it was nuts fuck then you put it back on put it back on everything most dudes won't fucking wear a condom. No, I just left her writhing on the bathroom floor.

Look what I got. Put it on my head like. Robo cop. Oh, my God, man. Yeah, I wonder. That's crazy. But I did get up. I got a phone call.

You know, like I got the apology phone call like 20 years later from from you know one of my one of the women i had sex with you know that was a little weird what do you mean you know that that the alcoholics anonymous i just talked about that on an episode i've gotten them from yeah i've gotten them from aa i've gotten them from sex addiction i've gotten them from food addiction wow i'm from coke addiction well you never even done below how are you involved in that they are emailing me and saying hey i had a problem when i was with you i'm sorry i treated you like shit like it's the apology email wow and that was what they were dealing and emails okay i got the phone call i

got i got text i got text i got text not email but i got text yeah that was a crazy phone call but you know i was like it's cool that's what i said i was like yeah well i knew i mean you did cocaine in front of me yes i tried to tell you that's wrong i remember that growing up in miami in the eight and uh yeah you know 79 81 so 81, so much cocaine, you know, and my, my, uh, one of my best friends, all I had three, three really good friends and they were all second generation Cubans. Their parents came over in 59 and they were born in 63 same time I was, and they were just my boys growing up.

And, uh, and one of them's dad ran the Cuban mafia from the Dade County jail. They had him in there on tax evasion, but he was still running the show, man. And we would go to this guy's house on a Friday night after school, and his mom would make us a big steak in a Cuban pan, and it was so delicious. And then we'd go in the back where his brothers were and the uzis and the giant pile of cocaine on the table you would see this we would get a ziploc bag with our hand and just go like that and how old are you 16 17 18 yeah that's how it was down there man it was nuts and so uh yeah we'd go out for the night and then what you sell it or is that just for no that was just for us to go go fucking around with. Holy shit.

Yeah. Yeah, man, that was crazy times, man. Fucking, you know, square grouper would float up on shore, you know, in my high school in Key Biscayne. It would be, you know, the cigarette boats were running all the drugs and then when they got busted, they'd toss them over. And so every now and then, know jimmy jimmy would find a square grouper and it would go around the school what is that that that's what we call the bale of wheat you know that weed yeah okay not flow but but the the albino grouper was the

cocaine and so uh i've seen cocaine cowboys where they would literally just drop it on the beaches and you could go fucking grab it. Yeah, that was it was it was weird like that. And there were so many murders like when I was growing up, you know, like people were just getting capped left and right in Miami. Just drug drug deals gone bad and all cocaine. That's just what I grew up with. And in fact, it's a big influence in my comic book. You know, the main character, Koni Shiki, he has a drug influence in my comic book you know um the main character coney shiki he has a a drug

problem in real life can i tell a little bit about the comic book of course all right so basically what this what this world is is um um these superheroes you don't have to do all that they toggle between um their game avatars these guys are the most popular game avatars in the world. But when the game turns off, where the fuck do they go? And so that's when the story came out that, oh, well, they just go to a four-bedroom house in San Fernando Valley

and try and live their life like normal people. But every now and then, they get zapped back into their game because they're players right whenever that's right yeah and and some people sort of go oh that doesn't make any sense but i kind of just i explain it like this if you have a dog and a doggy door okay in our world in our vocabulary there's inside and there's outside, but that dog doesn't put that together. They just know as soon as they slam through that door, it's like a miracle, you know,

like something. So that's kind of how I describe it, you know, and these guys are toggling back and forth and there's, there's a villain who, who shows his face and he's going to be a through line through the whole piece. And so, you know, I hope people like it. I hope, villain who shows his face and he's going to be a through line through the whole piece and so

you know I hope people like it I hope it resonates with some of the gaming crowd and some of the superhero crowd you know I'm a huge fan of like Doom Patrol and the boys and all that stuff and this is kind of in that same genre so if you like that kind of cool

shit check out the comic book there you go you tell i've been in tv for a while um i want to hear this james beach story oh james beach so james beach it's a great bar or was a great bar it's still open but not now of course but um my boy um john henry Henry binder who now owns Venice duck brewery. So you know, okay. I had the, I had that beer at James beach. Yeah. Yeah. And he was his, right? Yeah. And you probably was served by him. Yes. And, um, so he was there for 25 years and he was going to wrap it up because he started this brewery company. And it was going to be his last week.

And I have partied in James Beach a lot of times and gotten a little nuts in there. And so I'm like, all right, I'm going to go back. I'm going to go early. I'm going to have a few drinks with John Henry before it gets all nuts on a Wednesday. Not a Saturday. It was last night on a Wednesday. So I walk in, it's pretty much empty. And I take my normal seat on the corner there. And, uh, I start drinking, you know, and, and having a good time. And we're shooting this shit. And this dude pulls up next to me and, uh, he goes, uh, you want to

do a line? And I'm like like and he holds up the little baggie and then like about 10 minutes later dude this guy leans over just like this in my ear i just want to do a line of blow off your cock like right in my ear and i was like check please john henry give me the check so he gives me the check and i whisper in john henry's ear i'm like these are the last words i heard at your bar and i told it to him and he fell out and i walked out the door that's the last time i've been there fucking james beach man i used to have all my parties, big Christmas parties at the Canal Club and James Beach when I owned four-eyed films. Weren't they across from each other?

Owned by the same people. Oh, they were. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was nuts, man. But that place, you're there early and then you just see it turn ugly, bro. And the lion faces come in and it just gets nuts oh my goodness all right so you and i've known each other for a long time a long time and you've

been around my wife a lot always insults me with a smile a british it's a real british fuck you i feel like your wife is a brit and it's always like ryan you know it's always this pleasant hello and and then there's a compliment that comes for it you look like you've lost weight the face looks like shit though you know it's always some follow-up like damn every fucking time but i love it and she loves doing it obviously it's usually about your singledom or something like that, you know, or whatever situation you're currently in. Somehow she knows about it. Always.

Always has good advice. Always offers me a meal. Yeah. Always. She's a good person. There was a time I went to the laundry room to get a shirt out of the basket. Okay. And look, I've been around laundry my whole life okay so

i put the shirt on and it smelled to me it smelled a little unfresh and sometimes you get those ones in the laundry you know what i'm saying they're like what was that one balled up or something yeah yeah i got stuck in my fitted sheet that's right so sweetheart come here smell this it smells unfresh to me and you know what she said you just don't know what fresh smells like that's that's a white fucking thing to say and that stuck with me so i don't ask you remember that line you don't know what fresh smells yeah you don't know what fresh smells like that's what is it What is it to you? She said it smells great. It's fine. Anyway, but recently, this is kind of an embarrassing story, but I'm going to tell it anyway. Please.

It was about 10. There's another my wife's story. It was about 10 o'clock at night. So I went outside for a nightcap, you know, and I don't think I've ever told anyone this fucking story. So I'm smoking a joint and i gotta piss so i piss in my spot in my backyard you know men have a spot you can see the browns yeah you can see it so um i'm pissing smoking a, and the cherry of the joint falls and hits the tip of my dick.

Oh, no. Tip to tip. Okay. Swear to God. Swear to God. Tip to tip. So I smack my dick so hard. Bam.

And blood starts coming out the tip of my dick. And I have a burn. Wait. So wait. I think I burst a blood vessel when I smack the the tip of my dick and i have a burn wait wait i think i burst a blood bep also when i smack okay all right okay so this i think you're pissing blood now at just a couple little drops because i smack the shit i think i like this has never happened to me maybe maybe went out of catheter or something like i can't, I had, it happened, but so I'm freaking out and it's like a Thursday night and my wife and I have sex every Sunday. Okay. That's just the thing we do.

We get together on Sunday and you know, work about 15 minutes in and we go our separate ways like Eagles in the night, you know? So, so I kind of wait a couple of days blood thing stops immediately so i'm like okay thank god that's that's gone but there is a little mark you know and i like i've only been with my wife for this entire time i've been married so um it's saturday it's still there and sunday and you haven't so you didn't even tell her that happened.

I know. But then before, like, I go, okay, look, I'm going to tell you something. Because if you got a sore on your dick. And you've been married for 20. Okay. Good luck, bro. I've just been packing my shit up. Like, I'm telling you the truth, but I'm going to stay at a hotel tonight.

Okay. So I just, I told her the truth. I figured the truth. Okay. So I said, look, I'm outside.

I'm taking a piss. I'm smoking a joint. The fucking cherry fell and hit me in the dick. And I have a little burn. And you know what she said to me? You don't know what fresh smells like. No. She goes,

I can't believe you were fucking taking a piss in the backyard. That's a good wife. That's a good wife. Didn't even fucking care. She didn't blink about that other part, but she was pissed about the piss. But she wanted to see it then? It was gnarly, huh? How long did it take to heal a couple weeks that's a that's a sensitive fucking spot yeah it wasn't anything i mean you know how when you get a spider on you or whatever yeah like that's how that's how i react to bruce lee yeah um damn stole my punchline, but it's okay. It's your show.

That's alright. It's your show. It's fine. Anyway. God damn, dude. That's some shit you wouldn't say to me, though. I wasn't ready for it. That's funny, though. Anyway. that's some shit you wouldn't say to me though i wasn't ready for it that's funny though um anyway so um i re uh i wanted to ask you you told me a story well you told me something about your dad and camp yeah oh man i don't know what it was maybe it was like it the time in this in the

70s you know like yeah because you're a little... I'm 47. How old are you? I'm 10 years older. So you're 50. Damn, are you really 57? I am. You look fucking great. You're almost 60, bro.

I know, right? I'm on the wrong side of 55, as they say. Fuck, you're alive. You're on the right side of 55. The wrong side is dead. People talking about it. Listen, it takes a lot of work. Yeah. I got good genes. You surf. You do a lot of work. I got good genes.

You surf, you do a lot of shit. I do have good genes, though. My dad's 90. He's still amazing. There's nothing lost there. He's on point. He can't hear as well, but he's definitely on point and super sharp.

And always has been. But when I was eight, he drove me to sleep away camp four weeks bro four fucking ways by yourself no i mean let me say say this it's an eight-week camp okay my brother was there already he'd been there for a couple of years since he was eight brother was there already he'd been there for a couple of years since he was eight but um uh so he was there already the first four weeks and he my dad was driving me up for the second four weeks and how far away from home is this so we lived in miami okay and um so the nice jewish camp was called Camp Coleman, and it's in Florida. And we drove past that camp. And I waved to all my friends. Pretty good Gentile camp.

So he drove me to Camp Chattooga in North Carolina, which is where they shot Deliverance. Is that right? I am not kidding. On the Chattooga River is where they shot Deliver. Is that right? I am not kidding. On the Chituga River is where they shot deliverance. And so now listen. I always thought it was in West Virginia for some reason. The camp was awesome. The camp was awesome.

But I was eight years old. So it was a couple days drive. Four hours? No, dude. It was a couple days. I think we stopped in Orlando and spent the night and then we drove the rest of the way. So here's what i'm getting at is you're taking your kids and you're just leaving them there's there's no cell phones or texts oh no there's none of that you don't even

talk to him for a few weeks that's what i'm saying it's just letters back and yeah and it's not like a commute where he can ride up an hour and go see you no i think there's parent day but i don't he can ride up an hour and go see you. No, I think there's parent day, but I don't know if my parents came. You know, that's a long drive, right? And there were some kids who got the care packages, you know,

like SpaghettiOs and Sterno and we could make SpaghettiOs in the fucking cabin and shit like that. My friend Eddie Freeman always got the good care packages, but didn't get the care packages, but here's my little

highlighting the low light story about camp and that first day we got there in the morning. He dropped me off. We said goodbye and you're how old again? Eight. And we went on a 10 mile hike to dairy queen okay

five miles there eight year olds on five miles there and five miles back how many kids would you say 15 and how many counselors two and i shit myself at mile three bro on the way there on the way there shit yourself so bad like just like i you know and and i would say probably for a mile and a half i was trying my hardest you know that moment where you just can't so what do you do so i went into the bathroom when we got the Dairy Queen. You walked two more miles? Yes. Hold on. I have a million. Is it diarrhea?

Is it like running down your legs? Is it a turn? Yes, there's a little bit running down my leg. And have you notified anybody? I have not. I am embarrassed. Are you in the back of the line? I know.

I'm not 58. Now I was 80. And I've just driven two days with my dad and got dropped off in a state I've never you know like I just learned about in geography like you know so um I get I get into the bathroom a dairy queen I take my underwear off and I throw it in the you know in the trash can I try and clean myself up best I can. And then I never got any ice cream because by the time I was done, it was done. Alright, finish your blizzards. Let's go.

I was like, god damn. Probably shouldn't have been eating ice cream anyway. So we got back and it was the beginning of the week, of course, because it was that first week, that first day for the four weeks. And I put all my clothes in my hamper and everyone had their hampers hanging up at the end of the beds. But the laundry had just been done, you know, so my shitty clothes, like I was the shitty kid.

No, I was the shitty kid. I was like, oh, there's the shitty kid. You know? They would say you'd hear people say that. That's brutal. But. The shitty kid. You know, once the laundry got out that first, after the end of the week, you know, eventually I, you know, I wasn't a shitty kid anymore and I did go to that

camp like four years because yeah because the longer you went the cooler shit you got to do you got to go to Six Flags you got to go down the Chautauqua River and camp you know and I lost my glasses on that trip in the Chautauqua River in the Deliverance River in the Deliverance River yeah yeah

anyway so yeah that's my fucking camp story but did you ever go to camp i only went i was going to tell you i went to a soccer camp um at bucknell university in pennsylvania um it was my brother my twin brother myself my younger brother was too young at the time and then another friend of ours greg carfine it was uh we all played soccer with so the three of us went to this camp and we stayed in the dorms at the college and there were older kids there and shit. How old were you?

This was middle school, probably. So 11, 12, 13. Yeah. In that, in that area.

Okay. Um, right before high school. And I was on the red team. My brother was on the, uh, I think the green team and, and Greg was on the blue team and we'd all played together the whole time.

So we really loved playing against each other. So we really talked shit like, fuck you now, you know what I mean? And my team won the whole championship. But I do remember being embarrassed and clowned because back in the day, I wore my socks all the way up. You know what I mean?

The three-stripe socks, I pulled them up just under my knees. Was there still some skin between your socks and the shorts? Yeah, there was. Back then, there was. Yeah, there was just a knee. Well, because the shorts were shorter back then, too. Yeah, that's true.

I'm wearing Umbros and shit. Had the little. Before they made the longer ones. Little V up the side. Yeah, the little slit. And I remember the older kids who had started pushing their socks down were like, nice socks. And I was like, you were a socky kid.

How about this trophy? You were the socky kid. I was the sock kid. You were the shitty kid. Yeah, I would have traded that moniker any day, bro. And it was that day that I started pushing my socks down. If you just saw me an hour later, my socks were down. You know what I mean? I don't know why. That, if you dissolved me an hour later, my socks were down.

You know what I mean? I don't know why. That's so weird, isn't it? I don't know why we allow people to affect us. I remember. That's such dumb shit. Just the dumbest shit ever. Your socks are high.

But some people go through life, and they don't allow that. They don't give a fuck. I wish I had that. Like Sean Wright. You know that kid with the red hair? Yeah. The kid has the worst fucking style in clothes, but he put out a clothing line, you know, and everyone bought it, I think.

Well, everyone knocks Adam Sandler for the way he dresses. The dude wear red sweatpants to the Oscars, but so what? And a hockey jersey. Yeah. So what? Who gives a shit? Who gives a shit? Look at him.

Look what he's doing. Yeah. You don't like him for his fashion. Yeah. I don't look to Adam Sandler for fashion sense. Yeah. Yeah. He's funny. And I what he's doing yeah you don't like him for his fashion he's i don't look to adam saying that's right fashion sense yeah yeah he's funny and he's just funny he delivers on the he's already making me laugh yes that's it that's it yeah this guy wore a hockey jersey to the hospital that's right that's exactly right oh man so um uh i do want to say one thing about you know i talked about that beck story a little

bit and it just hit me um you should probably have him on to tell that story or at least on pantheon or whatever patreon i should start something called pantheon is that what they say so many people say is that what is that word have no idea. I'm not intelligent enough to know what pantheon is. Yeah, I don't either. I'm sorry. Hey, kids, write in and let Ryan know. I feel like it's some Greek shit. I don't know why.

It's some Greek shit. Oh, yeah, maybe. What was I talking about? Yeah, so we have him on the Patreon and tell that story. But I remember, you know, there was a couple things. Like my other son, is older and you know he's the one who's like dad you know i just remember him being super cool the whole time and i left him in mexico you know yeah how old was he probably 6 15 or 16.

Wow. Yeah. I left him and his friends in Mexico, you know? Yeah. He does have a very Zen to me. He's got that Phil Jackson demeanor. Yeah. He was,

yeah, he was cool as a cucumber and, and thank God because, and Beck was too. I mean, he was conscious the whole time and just being super cool. I mean, I was the one flipping the fuck out,

you know? here he is worrying about losing his leg. And I know you're worried about him dying. Like, yeah, I don't think he got a look at it actually until, or I don't know if he ever did. I don't know if he ever looked down and looked at it.

You know, I'm not sure. You have to ask him. I don't know. That was some crazy. That is crazy. But I appreciate you. Let me come in here and talking

shit listen first of all you know i love you we go back to late 1900s i say all the time and a few shitty jobs together oh man always laugh and always having a good time with you we've we've even fought i remember having blowouts with you yeah because of that dumb bitch and i don't mind fucking saying it right here yeah that's you know what i yeah yeah so but who hasn't i mean any good friend of mine or family i mean you have at least one blowout for sure and then you find out whether you're really friends or not after that honestly because some people just go there several ways like oh we weren't it wasn't really that thick after all so and also you come across people in this industry where you know most of the time you're not rooting for them you just aren't you know but you're someone you know even when we were

both coming up i i just respected your comedy and your writing uh first of all and so i just say i'm rooting for this guy he's a good guy well i appreciate you dude you gave me my first real long stage time at the boathouse back in the day when we would do that well you would do the monthly show and allow me to be on it with mark dominique yeah we've talked about that mark dominique jody pershing, who's no longer here. Oh, really? Yeah. You remember her?

I remember her, yeah. She passed? She passed away about five years ago, yeah. But all this, this studio was during the whole lockdown. You came in. We hung this a little crooked. Yeah, we put stripes up. Twice.

We took stripes down. But I'm the most proud of these these things behind me these behind me they're super fun man and you can order these posters am i right yeah you get if you want a fucking 12 by 12 in my head yeah you can now order these on what's that shit called when you stick those things up fathead fathead, what a great fathead that thing would make. Well, that's originally what I started looking at. Fathead. Get in touch with Ryan. Let's get him on the program. Yeah, Fathead. What's up? Let's go.

Let's get some honeydew fatheads. I like it. Hey, man. But thank you for everything. Thank you for all your help. Please promote your book. We had it sitting here. Oh, yeah. Remember? That's right. Yeah. Yeah, that time when you didn't have as much of this and i i had more of this yeah um i mean you know yeah what are you gonna do so um yes

here's the deal um look it's not the most um socially conscious thing to do right now as an artist to put out some selfish fucking comic book but But also, you've been working on this long before this hit. These projects aren't something that you flip overnight. And I really wanted to march this thing when I was done with it, when it came out in March. But, you know, more important things have happened in the world. And so I kind of put my little selfishness aside for a while. But fuck, man, i did your show and now

it's the time to promote it so we're gonna do the kickstarter campaign so just go to kickstarter and search commando place and you'll find the kickstarter program and i'm not gonna make any money on the kickstarter all i'm doing is trying to pay my artist and get five more books done and then start the next series that's really what i want to do. So we have a low goal. And if you can chip in a few bucks and be part of it, there's certain things that you get for different donations and stuff like that. That's how Kickstarter works. So yeah, appreciate any help. Is it just kickstarter.com and then search commando place? That's right. And you'll see the project.

Is there a link anywhere on a website that they could go directly to to take them there? There is. And will you, is there, well, maybe you can just put that in the, I do have like, I think it's kickstarter.com slash commando place. Send us the link and we'll put it in the YouTube description. Okay. That'd be great. Thank you so much for that.

Of course. Yeah. And thank you all. I love your fans. You know, you always tell me, you know, not to get involved but i love doing the photoshop stuff i don't know if anyone knows but i i like i sometimes i submit photoshop shit to you and you put it up and that makes me all proud you know i love all that stuff yeah i'll find some honeydew shit in the store in japan i'm not i don't know i i think that um i don't know i'm not like a lot of the

people i meet in this industry and that that i just i don't feel like them i feel like everyone else yeah you know what i mean oh yeah you're always been a genuine person i am just a regular person i live in a fucking two bedroom one bath apartment with no goddamn central air or heat with tandem fucking parking with a lot of crime in my neighborhood and pay two thousand dollars a month and fucked up los angeles but this is where my family is this is where my kids are so this is where i am and i am so fortunate to have two tremendous fans, fantastic people that I, it, it makes me feel so good when other comics,

well, but when they could go to their shows or like, man, I had a dozen people there cause they heard me on the honeydew and they were the nicest people. If it's every comics, I give the best fans. Oh my God,

I'm getting so much love. Oh my God, this feels great. Thank you. They're coming on here and talking about shit and trauma and then the love that showed to them and i'm not always tagged in that you know someone's like hey look at this message someone sent me i'm like oh that's fucking awesome so i have great fans um i'm very fortunate for it especially even to be in a time we're in right now where people can't work that anybody would even want to listen to me i'm just always i'll never not be flattered blown away surprised you know the moment i'm sucking my

own dick then it's a wrap right you know and by the way if i could do that i would stay in the house all the goddamn time you know what i'm saying so i'm fortunate to have good people um and it's just like being a proud parent when your kid comes back from a sleepover and they're like your kid was so well mannered so well and you're like what a shock fucking douchebag in my house right but you better fucking do that for sure and that's what it feels like you got a good one the honeydew fans the crap piece fans the comedy fans wherever you have found me thank you all so much and thank you too dude look at this place yeah this is awesome look at this fucking place so i'm so excited to be here and ash ash out there my producers the shit killing it's we're we got a great team working together

we're going to keep putting up some content and um you know go from there so thank you for being a big part of it my pleasure dude i'm I was happy to open Ryan's house of masturbation. Whenever I can rub one out. I'm telling you, I knew exactly what you were doing. As soon as you showed me this space, I was like, why do you want blackout? All right, man. Thank you so much.

Yeah. So wait one more time. Go to Kickstarter, search Commando Place. That's right. Thank you so much. Yeah. So wait one more time. Go to Kickstarter, search Commando Place. That's right. And you can... And we'll have a link in the YouTube description. Yeah. And on Instagram, Commando Place has a little Instagram account where you can see a lot

of the artwork there. Great. And you can add to my 400 followers. If you want on my personal Instagram, I don't care if you do or don't. Frankly, it would be awesome if you followed me. I do put my artwork up there. So thank you guys again. And thank you.

Of course, man. Thank you, brother. As always, Ryan Sickler dot com. Ryan Sickler on all social media. We'll talk to you all next week. you