The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Geoff Tate

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

My HoneyDew this week is Geoff Tate! Geoff’s dad died last year. They had a complicated relationship and now Geoff doesn’t know why he does stand up. We also talk about Geoff’s divorce and how he quit drinking and went to therapy at the same time after his last big break up. Geoff goes deep! Subscribe, download & review! Sponsor: Visit http://omaxhealth.com and enter code HONEYDEW to get 20% off CryoFreeze and sitewide!

This episode of The Honeydew is brought to you by Omax Cryo-Freeze. More on that later. Let's get into the do. You're listening to The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here at Studio Jeans doing it at your mom's house. I'm Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. Head there, check out my tour dates, sign up for the email list.

Thehoneydewpodcast.com is the website for this show. That's where you go to find out the social media, the merch, all that stuff. And thank you again for all your support. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It means the world. If you're new to the show, what we do here is we highlight the lowlights. These are the stories behind the storytellers.

And today's storyteller, first time here on The Honeydew, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jeff Tate, everybody. Welcome to The Honeydew, Jeff. Hello, thank you. How do we sound? Oh, this is amazing.

We're right there, aren't we? No, you nailed it. I love watching people get better at something. That was my second take at that intro. I didn't mean it as a burn. It's true, though. But I did nail the second one. No, you did.

And it wasn't even that the first one was, it wasn't even, it was the, it's the idea that all of, like, starting with stand-up, there's like, it's like getting rid of something that's self-conscious. It's like not feeling dumb, doing something where you should feel dumb. Yes. And that was, I like seeing that because of like, it affirms to me that it's that easy. Like, cause it's, I have to still like, I just crack. Like we're in our own way.

I hate, yeah, I'm the same way about that. And then when, and then to see you do it so effortlessly it was like yes you can get like to myself i could i when i said it's nice to see someone get better at something i meant me i meant i realized i had just gotten better at something by watching you by watching how you you did it. I appreciate that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was meant to be that level compliment, and then when everybody was like, whoa, I was like, oh, what did I say? Well, I'm excited to get into this with you today,

but before we do, will you please plug, promote everything you'd like? All right, well, I am on Instagram at Jeff Tate. It's spelled with a G-E-O-F-F-T-A-T-E. That's it. And I got some shows coming up in December. December 19th at the Highlands Ballroom in Atlanta. December 21st at the LeZoom Room in Asheville, North Carolina.

And December 22nd at the Central Collective in Knoxville, Tennessee with those shows are with Trey Galleon we'll be having some fun we're just going to go do those shows and then whoever is listening that wants to will smoke weed

with me and Trey that's what I want to say it's a collective so is it a weed show or is it a weekend of shows? What is it? The collective in Tennessee is just a cool room that will let us do it in there. Trey knows the owners. They're real nice people. We did it once last year.

I was very, very stoned. Trey's from Knoxville. I thought he was from Austin. I actually thought he very stoned. Trey's from Knoxville. I thought he was from Austin. I actually thought he was from Philadelphia, but it turns out everything was wrong. It was Knoxville. Clearly. I've known him for like 14 years.

Just found out his name's not Trey. Oh, this is true. What's his name? i can't say his name is trey galliard but i just thought but it's because he's the third so it's whatever his dad's name is oh man all right you got me crying we went to the uh we went to uh the prices right this morning. I found out this morning. Show the tag. Show the tag. And Trey was with us. We had to give our name tags to security. And after like a minute or two, the guy comes over and goes,

Trey, do you have another name? And he was like, oh, yeah, it's probably under whatever. I didn't even hear him. I was so stunned at that moment of finding out his name's not trey like i haven't even really had a chance to talk to him about it yet that happened to me in my family i had always had an uncle al forever there was an uncle john and then wasn't till so when my my dad passed and my grandma passed, and everybody kept this secret apparently, so I'm now living with my grandmother's sister, my Aunt Marguerite, 19, probably 20, right there.

And I say something to Uncle John, and she goes, it's not your uncle. I go, what? It's been 20 years. And I'm like, wait, what? She's like, what do you say, Uncle John? I go,'s like what do you say uncle john i go that's what dad taught us she goes that's because your dad was a good man that is not your uncle they never got married he never did never i said they've been together for like fucking four she's

like they're not married they're just like roommates and i was like what and then they sat you down and they were like ryan it's like this and then you got to watch all three seasons of three's company so then another um uh well he was he was really uh we call him uncle al out of respect but he was a cousin an older cousin's husband he was fantastic i just loved him to death and he recently passed but only a few years ago no i know what it was i go to an oriole game one night and he's an usher taking tickets. I go, oh, wow, what the hell are you doing here? And he's like, oh, he's retired or whatever. He's like, am I off time?

I come here, I rip some tickets, about sixth inning, I go in, I watch the game. I was like, hell yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, I mean, that's usually the best part of a baseball game too. Yeah. Gets real tight at that point. That's right. And then he's got this name tag on. I don't remember what it said. that's usually the best part of a baseball game too yeah gets real tight that's right and then he's got this name tag on i don't remember what it said it said something like edwin or something

and someone comes over and calls him that and i'm thinking he forgot his name tag protocol they probably have to wear a name tag so he just took anybody's i've done that before back in the day and and i was like wait what so i text his his daughter who i'm very close with i'm like yo and she's like yeah that's i was like what are you fucking talking about right now his name's not uncle al i'm i'm in my 30s what are you talking about wait is not so he wasn't either he was neither one he was neither no he was nor al correct uncle out of respect either he was neither one he was neither you know he was nor out correct uncle out of respect because he was fantastic he was my cousins my dad's first cousin her husband so we called him uncle out and he was just fucking great he was great but his name wasn't even out it should be

like a catch-all name where it's like your family and we're not sure how exactly but you're are you're just like family al yeah family i like family al but was his name edwin i whatever that name was i don't think i have it right he was that was his birth name yeah that's what everybody else called him it was like a family name was al and everyone else called him like joseph or whatever like what the fuck is going on? Have you thought about honestly, have you thought about the fact that maybe you were Edwin's secret family?

Like he's got another wife and kids in Wilmington, Delaware. That runs deep. That runs deep. But he just accidentally got too close to the extendos on the fake side. Oh, that's how I saw him at the gate. What is happening right now?

He had to make a real quick calculation. What do I do? Just play along, no matter what anybody calls me. Edwin, Al, whatever. I mean, imagine being 30-some years old, and I'm walking into an Oriole game. The whole thing, I'm just looking back. I'm like, what the fuck is it? I said, how many goddamn secrets are in this fucking family this guy ain't my uncle this guy ain't even out i don't know what the fuck's going on he's like listen i was just the

kids club host i would introduce the cartoons at the school i was on television kid i was never your real uncle so i want to talk to you, we had talked a little bit before the show. We talked about your dad a little bit. I want to talk. I'd like to start with that if you're comfortable starting with that. Yeah, I'm comfortable, yeah. So he passed recently. Yeah, it was a little over a year ago, last March.

So like a year and a half ago. And were you guys close? No, it was, it was, uh, we were in proximity, but he never, there was no getting close. It wasn't one of those. He was like a old, he was an old dad. He was old when he had you. How old was he when he had you? 38. Man, I was 41 when I had my daughter dial back on that old dad. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're not talking about, you're talking about the wrong thing, man.

You're talking about mentality. Yeah. Cause you're 40, you're 41. You're fucking, you're fucking 54 or whatever is never the same as this guy. Yeah. I understand.

Right. There are some people that are old forever and some people that get old quick and some people that never get old. That's very well said. You can't like You should make a shirt on that. Put that down. Mark the time code. Time code that. 9-11. That's terrible. It really is.

I'll remember it. I promise you I'll remember that time. Anyway. Where are you I'll remember that time. Anyway, so. So, all right, where are you originally from? I was born in Englewood, and then I moved a lot, and then I lived in Cincinnati since I was 13. Englewood out here. Englewood out here.

Englewood, California, where the forum is. And where is your dad from originally? Indiana, just 30 miles north of Terre Haute, Indiana. Okay, I know Terre Haute's there's only two things a prison and a indiana state game uh or larry bird kind of indiana state what's i mean tarahoe sucks yeah i know of it i've known people from there, yeah. Oof. So talk to us about your relationship with your dad, growing up as a kid, what it was like and leading up to it. He was a minister, so it was terrible. Are you an only child?

No, I got a brother. Okay. Was he the same way with both of you? He was, like like distant or. Yeah, like it's not like. They it's not like you talk to him like none of us need to talk about anything. Yeah. He would.

I mean, if you want to say. I mean, never to add. I might seem a little biased, but it did seem like he favored one for the other. But it was just I think it was just like an oldest kid mentality because he was an oldest kid. Okay. And you're not? No, I am also the oldest. And his dad, like his dad, it was very obvious to see where it came from.

Was his dad a minister as well? No, his dad was just kind of a dick. Like he had so many kids and he would like pit them against each other and like that kind of like yeah real manipulative and uh so it just created a bunch of like very fragile uh you're just gonna let timmy take your thermos like that yeah that kind of stuff let timmy take your thermos like that oh yeah they would let him fight kids they would let them like uh oh they do that thing that bullshit thing we're like we'll let this we'll let you guys settle this yourselves well that doesn't that's not that just means whoever's bigger is right and that's not how any that's not how it

works that's why there's judges like you should have to do something but they would he would have them fight. So your dad's a minister. Yeah. And how does he meet your mom? At church. Okay. And he got lucky because she was actually a Christian. Actually. Right? Instead of involved in some...

She got... They stayed together. mean he was always he was not a good person or whatever are you close to your mom were you close to your mom no we're like we're like uh it's like just starting okay Okay. Is she still alive, though? Yeah, she's still alive. And got a... So he passed away, and then she retired. Like, her retirement was coming up, and he, like, kicked it a couple months before that, which was, like, probably the nicest thing he's ever done for her.

Motherfucker was supposed to... He was on the hook for the retirement cake. God damn it. Somebody else is going to have to get that retirement cake for my party. He's dead. Just did not, like, just to let her have something to do for a few months before she didn't have anything to do. Like, not, because, man, if she had retired and he was still alive, he would make this, like, he would have just.

Drove her nuts. He's a nightmare. He was mean. Even all the way up until he was dead? Yeah so minister meet your mom at church they marry have two kids is that all in inglewood to start no is that tarahoke indiana right or they left uh inglewood right away my dad moved to berkeley i'm sorry i should have mentioned that. He moved to Northern California. I found going back and thinking and asking, like talking

to my brother, actually talking about some of this stuff, that I have no idea if any of it is true. What of any of it is true? He told me, I thought 100% that he moved to california and he

had not yet decided between going to umpire school or seminary school there was a natural trajectory of him wanting to his whole career was uh those were his two choices umpire school right at that point it was he moved there from chicago where he was a teacher okay so he he had like he just kept wanting larger groups of people he could tell what to do so it was like we have teacher and a principal i could if i was an umpire i could tell tell baseball players what to do. Everybody, what to do, where to go. But once he realized that being a minister meant that you were still kind of telling them what to do all the time, every moment of the day. Yeah.

That's how he went that way. I mean, he would probably tell you it was for different reasons reasons but he wasn't much for self-examination were you guys into sports and stuff growing up and was he did he show up to those games anything like that did he support anything you did or encourage he would be he would come to the games if he was the coach what was he like as a coach if he was like of course he's the coach right he's got to control all the kids well yeah yeah i mean he can't it turned out that it was just like it was like super narcissistic uh so that was also a way to like make it about him like so everybody would know it's like he because it was only in the town like the towns where it was like holy shit it was only in the places where it was like, holy shit.

It was only in the places where it was small enough that they would know. Why did you say holy shit? Because something just occurred to me, like when he would be helpful and when he wouldn't. Because if he did that, if he was the coach, then... I liked baseball, and I was pretty good at it until everybody learned how to throw curveballs. I'm right there with you, man. I'm like, and I was pretty good at it until everybody learned how to throw curveballs. I'm right there with you, man.

I'm like, wait a second. Yeah, this is not good. But I didn't get to play the years that everybody learned how to throw curveballs because we moved right before the season started or whatever. We moved into the neighborhood after the teams had been already picked. Yeah. So there was like, it was always something like that.

Like, so there was like two years in a row. And then the next time I could be on a team and it was like, Oh man, those don't, it doesn't do what I thought it did. It doesn't look at all. Like it did the last time I played.

Right. The balls are fucking curving. I didn't, we're allowed to do that. I didn't think we were allowed to do that. And it turns out that I should have been hitting left-handed. I see my aiming eye for that sort of thing. Like if I shoot a pool or play.

I would say shoot a gun, but what I mean is big buck hunter. The game. One of those where you have to hold one. I do that as if I was left-handed. And it's an aiming eye thing where you do. And I just knew when I pick up a bat and go left-handed when I was a little kid, he would yell at me, like, you're right-handed. You got to do right-handed.

You'll mess it up if you do it the other way. Tell him to do it both ways. And now, I mean, but my dad would be for sure, he was like the last one to do it both ways and now uh i mean but my dad would be for sure it was he was like the last one to get it no matter what it was so even that sort of like switch hitting come on that's some show-offy bullshit was like oh like the like any sort of like analytics or whatever would just he was definitely like oh you gotta get it's like you grind it out like that kind of all bad advice that old-timey bad advice walk it all yeah yeah no this is a concussion you should go home yeah no no You should wrap this shit up.

You should go home for a week. Nothing is worth this. Yeah. But that would be a bad, I mean, that should be the slogan for the NFL. The NFL, nothing is worth this. All right. So he's in the house all the time. You said they stayed together.

So he's always there, but he's not there. He's not a good dad because he's there? Or does he leave? Well, it's like he was just mad. So like a person? Yeah. No, like, oh, man, the things that got me in the most trouble were like if it was somehow visible like if somehow somebody knew that it was the pastor's kid was involved oh my god yeah that's what i wanted to ask you what that's like so if it made it if

it made it uh if it would make him look bad um oh man it was a nightmare like if you got caught doing bullshit with four kids it was always and the pastor's kid was there yeah yeah yeah fuck or uh you know if i was like running at the uh like where the potluck for the church lunch was yeah you know being a little too exuberant for a fucking baby for a goddamn seven-year-old having a good time showing run around the mac and cheese right like so i would skip because he didn't say because i was following i was more i was always more of a letter of the law type like let's see how fast i can go without technically running boy he doesn't like it when you start getting cute with the law either man he doesn't want any of that fucking defense

no going fast it's really about the joy you're showing because maybe he was in a bad mood. None of that. Right? I mean, I was just hungry because everything at a fucking potluck has onions in it. You don't like onion? No. It's so annoying. It'll ruin my life.

If I had three wishes, one of them would involve liking onions. Just because I'm broken. Like, I give up. Because I could make one of my wishes no more onions for anybody but I'm not an asshole right I like onions

I would rather I could make it that I like onions or that nobody everybody else or that they're just gone what if I had to remove from your memory like you never knew about that I wouldn't know about it it wouldn't make a difference cool cool that's the thing about people that say to me it makes me laugh what if i removed it from your memory if you did then i wouldn't know i wouldn't know any of that shit happened so yeah

i think i would still like if you if i didn't remember i liked onions i don't think that would change my opinion the next time i had some so it wouldn wouldn't even help. Yeah, you'd like them, right? No, I'd probably still hate them. You still wouldn't like them, I see. But what if I didn't? Because I have a feeling that the fact that I don't like onions is why I don't like anything that's kind of crunchy like that. Sneaking into my food

because my first thought is this is an onion somehow. One got past the defense. Let's get it back on track. My dad would not let me. Yeah, let's go back to that. my dad would not let me my dad would not let me order from like if we went to mcdonald's or something i was not allowed to get mine without pickles or onions you had to get it i had to get it like that and i could just pick it off because he said it took it took too long meanwhile it takes longer because they're making mine right then. So mine is the newest one. Yeah, the best one.

You're just willing to eat whatever's at the top of the drawer. Like, you're wrong twice. You could have a better burger and look benevolent in the same way instead of being like,. Fuck you kid. You're a real fucking pain in the ass back there. You pick it off. Now I just have to push. Those terrible onions.

Now man I got no problem. No onions. I'll go back around. I go. I pick the. And this is completely psychological. And I know it. But I pick the pickles off of every mcdonald's

anything only mcdonald's i'll eat chick-fil-a pickles it's all and then it's i'm admitting to its total bullshit but there was a guy when i was a junior he was a senior in our class and his last day at mcdonald's he pissed in the pickle jar oh man and then at the register he would pick his nose wipe it on that little digital thing and then take orders until they were like just get the fuck out of here and to this day i will pick pickles off or order it with no pickles if it comes on if it comes on and they're going off listen can i tell you the the fact that you're just like you're like i i pick them off because you won't eat them because you heard a story where a guy pissed in the pickles.

But you'll still eat that burger. The bun and the cheese. And you'll just throw those pickles away. You'll be like, these pickles might have been pissed on. So I better not eat just the pickles. You don't care that the stuff that was pissed on was on the rest of your sandwich? That cooks out. That cooks out. That cooks out.

It's McDonald's, bro. It's nothing but grease, man. I think it's just like everybody knows that anything that happens on the East Coast is grosser than anything that happens anywhere else. When someone snaps on the East Coast, it's a nightmare. When someone snaps on the East Coast, it's a nightmare. There are just so many more people. In Ohio, so many people worked at McDonald's that no one ever had to piss while they were at work. The shifts were quite short.

Everyone was just working for 90 minutes. They wouldn't even let you piss. All right. So my dad wouldn't let me order it with no pickles. And now he's dead. And I'm not. And I think we know who the real winner is. Oh, my God uh all right as we're progressing through life here what kind of dad he's coaching

so is this a minister sort of um you know like this profile is i'm he's a minister he coaches little league he's is that all just a a is it a show or is it just something he does over here and doesn't it's a show because everything's a show because he's he he was never and i felt like i felt so bad for him at that by that by the time i like did enough research on my own when once i started trying to figure out what was wrong with me and i and it came to see like what begets the others like so i'm not this like he's different than his dad because he's met like but to see what uh to see where he was coming from and be able to look at a what what his dad and how he was treated to understand the dysfunction but yeah and i felt if i felt terrible that i just couldn't uh help him get over that and and have any like self-worth on his own he didn't have any

on his own he needed like attention it's why i never it's it's why i was always against trump because he acted the most like my dad. I was given a front row seat to why this would go exactly the way it's going. For the last 40 years, I tried to tell everybody. I tried to tell everybody. He's just like my dad like there's a book called

the narcissist next door that i read and was like the depressing thing about a narcissist to out to me as a as a comedian is that they're all so goddamn predictable they're all exactly the same and they follow the exact same and it to the point where like they'd be like oh here's some roundabout numbers like a narcissist for the six the first six months a narcissist joins the group the group has oh as a whole a jolt of energy that person is very charming that person wants the attention so that person is very very effusive and it and it really like elevates morale uh while also deflecting all criticism and taking all uh of the credit but but they were nobody's really aware of what's going on then there's the second six months where they realize this guy just

blames us for everything and takes all the credit for himself. And then there's the next six months where they try to get rid of the person. And so they, so they say like a narcissist is on average, like they might not get fired. They might not know what to do, but they like, they they'll see the, uh,

they'll see the progress that's made at the beginning. And they'll start like, like whatever environment, whatever corporate structure you're in, you'll move. But it tends to be you'll be at the same position then for about 15 months on average. And we moved every 15 months. You really did?

Yeah. Wow. It's to the fucking day they got it right. It was like my dad read this book and was like, oh, I'll just be like this. Wow. Let's take a quick break to tell you about our sponsor Omax Cryo Freeze. So whether you're an athlete, a weekend warrior,

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and enter code honeydew to get 20% off cryo-freeze and 20% off site-wide. Go to omaxhealth.com and feel relief faster. Now let's get back to the do. So you leave Englewood and you go where again first? Who knows, man. I can tell you, here's the names of the places that I know I lived, but I don't remember. Camarillo, Hawthorne

Campbell Granada Hills and Inglewood okay all over out here and one of them is I think Campbell is up near San Jose my parents met in Berkeley round about 72 I'm going to say that there is

this is one of the crazier things I'll say there's a non-zero chance I'm going to say that there is, this is one of the crazier things I'll say. There's a non-zero chance my dad is the Zodiac Killer. Like, if you believe in profiling, he fits the profile to a T. Even to the point where after the Zodiac killing stopped was like right when

uh he met my mom in berkeley my dad's really keen on telling people what to do you gotta look into it every like the all the zodiac killer victims were people who were could be perceived as misbehaving. Like, out partying, or the first two were, like, I guess, were a couple on the beach having sex, fucking making out, dancing, or whatever. Well, it's what you said, enjoyment. Whatever enjoyment you were having. So, they're doing something. They wanted to kill it, literally.

Yeah. But he would, but, and it was all in the bay area and there's no like i can't figure out where he lived then no one knows for sure your mom my mom says that oh he's like oh he moved here in 72 like oh so he moved here and then you guys met immediately and he was going to the seminary and i believe all of that except that I mean, it's not like he told the truth about everything. So some of it's skeptical. And I don't know, like just trying to piece together what got mentioned, right? It's like you watch a real long movie and then you're like, well, what the fuck was this about? So I start remembering like, oh, you said you were a bailiff.

Well, when were you a bailiff? Your dad was at one point. He was in the army uh but i don't know i can't find zodiac killer in the army no no i mean but he was good at not being detected i don't know if that has anything to do with the army he was like uh he might have been an army intelligence. He said that, but that's also what a fucking crazy narcissist will say. He probably just cut potatoes and was like,

oh man, I would put codes in him. And then just, you know, if they figured him out, I'm a spy. Anyway, what I mean is, I don't know where like I've done prior to 72 like just trying to piece it together

all the things he told me that he did it when he did it like suddenly thinking about them all it was do you think he really stopped killing in 72 and never killed again or do you think he killed again and just no one knows about that yet

I know you've thought of this no i mean what i would like to think is no i don't think that i don't think if he did that he didn't i think that he found it because it could be like well, I could just tell this lady what to do forever. Why am I killing them all? Yeah, why am I killing people who are having a good time? I could just make sure. People never do that again. Yeah, I'll marry this lady.

I can't fix everything in the world, but God damn it, I'll make sure this lady never listens to Creedence Clearwater Revival again. And only listens to goddamn talk radio forever. Is that what it was like? He was always doing that? Man, I was like 20, like 19, 20. And they were showing those, like VH1 had live at the Hard Rock Cafe. And John Fogerty played a show. John Fogerty had a solo album out that year. It was real.

It was being pushed real hard until it came out, and MTV realized, oh, we can't use any of this. This is for old people. Yeah. But he was on it. He played the show, and then my mom walked into the room or by the room or whatever and knew the song, and it blew my mind and i had no idea she

was like oh yeah it's that uh what's that called credence i was like what how the fuck do you know credence i never thought anybody i thought you only knew paul harvey right i thought you're all his favorites like uh limbaugh man they listened to rush limbaugh from back when he was only on in like sacramento my i mean that to be like a hipster limbaugh fan like i remember when he was local there was a point when he was i mean yeah but imagine being my dad and hearing that in the 70s of being like fuck yeah i'm with this guy And then ride or die with Rush Limbaugh for the rest of your life. Yeah, that's a drag. You know what I'm doing? You know what?

My brother and myself and my ma are going to see Elton John next month. That's nice. Yeah, like there's like whatever she wants. Where does she live cincinnati so you said your relationship with her is just beginning yeah it's like so you have an opportunity to find out more about your dad then maybe more than you know about pre-72 is what i'm saying if you ask the right questions and maybe she has those answers well no we've talked about that and she doesn't know anything all she said was like the whole told her that he moved there in 72

listen though how old i know but he he told me that's not what he told me i would say what the fuck did you do for 22 years before you moved here you know hey? Or whatever age. He was 32. Even older. But it's 1972. You don't know. There's no such thing as the internet. My mom's not going to fly back to Evanston, Illinois and go through. Who doesn't give up 32 years that are past? But what I'm saying is that he did.

He did tell her what he did up until then. But what he told me he did up until then didn't match up. What he told my brother didn't match up. Oh, he told you all different shit? But it's like... Everybody got different... But it could just be things are backwards or whatever. What I'm saying is...

I'm not saying there's a good chance. I'm saying that there is a non-zero chance. What I can tell you is that if they're still looking for the Zodiac Killer, they're looking for someone who's a lot like my dad. I got it. Yeah, I got it. If you think you found somebody,

bring me in. Let me question him. I can tell you whether or not he's a lot like my dad. If you're wondering, show him an article from, say, National Geographic or Scientific American that claims climate change is real, and watch him tell you that it isn't, and that that's

not a real source, and then you'll know that guy's just like Jeff's dad. So right there, you probably got him as a Zodiac Killer. That's how you gotta turn the tide on climate change. If you're against climate change, you fit the profile of the Zodiac Killer. Do you want to take the risk

you're not properly alibied? Come on. Just be for climate change. And then we'll know you're not the Zodiac Killer. Climate change. You're either for it or you're possibly the Ziac killer that's all climate change you're either for it or you're possibly the zodiac killer it ain't this guy it ain't this guy he drives a prius next right and then his mustache regrows as he gets in his prius

he just pours gas out the window i still waste it I still waste it. I still waste it. I'm fascinated by this because I read this story about a guy who decided his dad was in the LAPD and one of his dad's hobby cases after he retired was the Black Dahlia murder. He did all this research and he was always following the Black Dahlia murder. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he did all this research,

and he was always kind of following the Black Dahlia murder all through his career, too. So this kid grew up with his dad being kind of obsessed from a distance of that murder. His dad was one of the beat cops when they found the bodies who had to stake out the neighborhood. So he thought that's why he was following it. So he just kept researching it after he retired

and then figured out that his dad probably was the Black Dahlia killer. That's the ultimate conclusion he came to. And then I read that and then I thought well that's crazy. Imagine being that guy and you're just like oh my dad's like really into this and then I thought

like how could that even happen like what could my dad possibly like what if my dad's is like i said it in my head as a joke like this is like if your dad was a zodiac killer and then i thought about it was like i and i kept think i kept coming up with reasons why he wasn't and then none of those held like oh he wasn't in san francisco because he was uh in san francisco in illinois or still in and you're like oh now i don't know was he back in because i thought he was in san francisco area all of like it all kind of and then just generally he knows that he like maybe the first time he killed somebody the people on the beach, he was just like, hey, don't fuck.

That's too much fun to have and still get to heaven. And they were like, fuck you, old man. And he was like, but I'm 24 or whatever. And he was like, no, but inside, you're really old. He's like, I get it. And then he murdered him because he was mad because he for sure didn't like to be questioned. When he made a statement,

them's rules were the rules. That's it it no fucking on this part of the beach don't break those rules right because we have talked about it because i did ask her and uh i go i go do you think i got this idea i was on the phone and i go will you ask dad where he lived in 1969 and she goes why do you want to know and i go because i got this idea that he might be the zodiac killer and i want to see if maybe he was still if he was still in chicago or whatever when they started then i guess i could put that to bed and you know how most people would be like you're crazy i'm not gonna do that my mom was like hold on i got old journal hold on a second yeah she just goes hang on and then goes and ask them uh where did you live in 1969 and this was like uh he's like shot down he didn't he didn't uh i mean he did it he was like he could narrow it down but this was like after he for sure had i didn't uncheck

undiagnosed but looking back probably alzheimer's dementia something like that but he didn't uh this was one of the earlier clues too was she was like well he doesn't he's like chicago or san francisco and i was like oh damn that's those so close to getting him off the hook i'm trying to alibi him for something is there any way does he have any receipts does anybody i'm sure he made a scene somewhere does anybody remember did someone try to play the beatles at his favorite ribs restaurant and five years after they brought ed sullivan like that he's the kind of person that would still be mad about the Beatles. Right now? Well, no. By 69. By 2018,

he had forgotten about the Beatles. I can't even... I wonder how long... I bet it had probably been 15 years since he even was like, the Beatles is a band. That much of a thought. Any idea.

They don't advertise the Beatles on Tim Allen sitcoms. Sean Hannity, he knows how to turn his cash into gold. He knows how to reverse mortgage his rented condo. He gets

dementia, Alzheimer's. That's what got him? Ultimately, it was his body just shut down. How old? 78. Just natural causes. Did you go say goodbye? Yeah, yeah.

No, I moved back to help my mom take care of him. Oh, that's nice. There was like a year, maybe less than a year, somewhere around there where I was making sure he could just get to the doctor and stuff. And then she decided to go to work. Then he went into this rehab facility for a while and didn't do. And then I had to go there every day. I would have to go there and meet his rehabilitation his therapist

physical therapist and do the rehab with him. He wouldn't do it if somebody wasn't there to make him. I think that's great. But in all those car rides and all that sitting with him there

you never started asking any of the questions you really wanted to ask? Did you ever take... No, no, man. He was a dick the whole time. I was only there. That's what I'm saying. He didn't change at all, even through that.

At all, man. Nothing, that didn't soften him either. Did he knew he was checking out? No. Wow. No, no, no. He was still... We've joked about this.

My mom and I have joked about this. There are two types of people in this world. Here we go. The person who is grateful anyone is willing to clean shit off their balls. Yeah. Or the person who will complain about how it's being done. And he was the second. The cleaning shit off his balls is a given.

He's entitled to that. He was such a... All the way to the end. All the way to the end. He never thought about really anybody else. He knew, and I don't even think, but it wasn't until a few years ago that I stopped thinking it was just because he's a dick.

Once I started reading the books and I saw the way he was and then the way that his dad was with him and with all the, with all the brothers, like man, it's, it's, I get it,

but you can, you can learn from it or be just like it. I mean, that's why I have like, as much as I don't like, I don't know if you get political on the show, but as much as I don't like I don't know if you get political on the show but as much as I don't like Donald Trump I have less respect for his kids

why do you say that you can't tell your dad to fuck off when it turns out he's a fucking asshole you can't so you like because there's no amount like they've been doing this forever and I have way more respect for people who've

been like fuck off i guess it's because you know if i knew that i wasn't being left any sort of legacy i'm getting i got nothing from my dad so yeah it's a lot easier to tell him to get fucked when you realize he's kind of dumb when in all those times, any of those moments, there wasn't a two-minute conversation where he ever softened up and just said, I love you, or reminisced about anything that he liked, or anything, nothing.

No, he would, he said, he said, I love you all the time, but it meant the same thing it always did. It meant, it was, regardless,

it was, it was words, man. His actions made it clear that it's contingent. Yeah meant it was regardless. It was it was words, man. His actions made it clear that it's contingent. I get that. It's contingent upon like, I love you because I'm in a good mood right now. Right. And it's like, well, I mean, that doesn't count. Like once you like it was OK.

Like we like I mourned our relationship years before he died. I mourned our relationship years before he died. So it wasn't, it was like, there's something ironic about our relationship got better as soon as he couldn't, as soon as he stopped being able to think. Like he didn't want to, we just like, it was easier to just watch TV or whatever, Family Feud. Because then it was like, it was more predictable. What he needed was more predictable. It became simpler, so it was easier to keep him in a good mood.

So you told me that you were drinking. At what age did you start drinking? Probably, oh, 18 oh 18 18 okay maybe i think i think uh i had my first boozy drinks the night i graduated high school and what were you drinking those were bartles and james yeah that's what i started on those wine coolers i know that'll get you that's exactly right i mean in retrospect those wine coolers and that camel, that Joe Camel thing, they're probably right about that it's just made for kids. It is made for kids. There's no doubt.

That shit was so fruity. And you were like, this is sparkling water. Tastes like flavored sparkling fucking water, that shit. It tastes like a poorly mixed icy. Like with too much of the red stuff and not enough of the rest of it. So you're fucking zooming. So did your drinking,

did it get worse? What happened? No, it turns out I just never knew how to have any emotion. So drinking was like a way to that was your escape i think it was a way to let them out instead of still like you could get rid of them and have some but like i like i didn't have any control over it like i would just get drunk and it became but how often like nightly weekly oh yeah all the

time like as soon as i do anything i do it all the time like that's my problem that's why i got i had to get rid of everything except weed okay and i know that it's i know but like i still have right like like there's like so many stops before your before your life is actually ruined right i still have like get a regular job as a stop yeah and i don't i don't even have to do did that make sense it totally makes sense it makes sense you're doing great well i've never sent a text message i wish i could get back stoned i agreed yeah you're right. I've never ruined. I might have not started relationships because I'm stoned, but I haven't ruined any because of it. Yeah,

there might, there might be a few never wases, but whatever. So you, you drinking got to a point where what you, how many years, how were you started doing this? Did you go to rehab?

No, no, but I stopped drinking because it's the same the same mentality like i can i can the itch i was scratching wasn't it didn't need to it didn't need to be alcohol they need just need to be something got it so it's like it's very easy for me to not have the first drink okay it was always and it was it wasn't even that I would get like hammered every time, but I just hated it when I, I got to, I just hated it when I did.

It was never, it was never good. It just made time go by. Yeah. Different. And there's way better ways to make time go by. Way better way. You're right.

So I stopped doing it. So I just stopped. How, how'd you stop? You just said, fuck it. And you stopped when cold Turkey like I just stopped. How, how'd you stop? You just said, fuck it. And you stopped when cold Turkey like that, or did you try and stop a few times?

No, I just did. Uh, I just made, like, I didn't really have a chance to, like I was on, I was on the road and I was driving a lot.

And so I made it like right then, like, Oh, I'm going to stop smoking now, or stop drinking now, because I just can't be driving a rental car in fucking Eugene, Oregon. I can't be responsible.

Like, I can for sure just have three beers that night, but I could also think I could for sure have three and end up having nine and this is the beginning of the tour come on so i would just be like all right i'll get stoned once i get to the hotel because that's easier to do you just have to do one thing once you don't have to do a one thing a bunch of times shows over i'm gonna stand out here for five minutes so i'm good to go yeah yeah and back then i. Back then I just started getting those pens so they still worked.

They don't really work anymore. Nothing happens. I don't trust the pens, any of them. I'm glad that I'm out too to find out that those bootleg THC ones were the problem. Easy. No.

I knew smoking weed was better. The plant. Always stick with the the plant that's the one thing that works that is it man that is it um have you ever gone to therapy yeah for for what for everything yeah for everything what made you say i'm going i saw myself doing it exactly well i got divorced in 2010, towards the end of 2010. How old were you when you got married? 28. And how long?

And now it sounds like when I say 28, after I said 2010, it sounds like I don't know how numbers work. So I was 28 and 2006 2006 and we got married i was 32 in 2010 and we got divorced okay and i just why'd you get divorced we're jumping around well emotionally uh we were not um fulfilled like i didn't know that i it just wasn't working, and we didn't, I didn't know what to, what to do different, like, I didn't know that I wasn't emotionally available, I didn't, I had one marriage to know about, and use as an example, and what I tried to do was be better than that and i was fucking way better than that uh but it still doesn't mean that it's good right better just because it's

better doesn't mean it's good that's right right i have a whole fucking 10 minutes about dominoes that explains just that yes it is better how about you try to make it good yeah thank you i just somebody just ordered dominoes and i was like this this is shit i don't think it's shit i kind of like i still like it is better it is better but yeah how do you like it if it's not good it's better well the one i had was shit but the bit my bit is always about uh well the one i had was shit well the bit my bit is always about uh the it's like the actual it's not about the pizza at all it's about why are you you decided to say you're gonna make it better and you could have also decided to say you're gonna make it great yeah you could say great you could nobody's making you i didn't say this is better right you know what this is better you don't have to

strive for fucking excellence you all just strive like the next step i'm assuming that whoever is whoever's writing this there's not even a domino's pizza in the same room it's just a guy thinking about dominoes and then he writes out you know what i'm just gonna go with better no promises so that low pressure situation that has nothing to do with how i feel about the pizza except that you do agree it is better it is better it is better i mean if he had said this pizza is good now i wouldn't i wouldn't sue him for false advertising i would ask him about how much pizza he knows about i'd be like have you ever had like i would do a couple of those yeah you ever have what about this like and he's like oh i've just had pizza hut and then pizza i found

no wonder you think domino's is the best. I wrestled a rat for one piece of pizza. It's better than that. Remember Pizza Rat, right? Don't bite my finger. All right, so we get a divorce, and we decide now we're going gonna stop drinking and go to therapy is that no no different uh that was the first time i just got uh drunk for a while

and just kind of like leaned into it because and part of it sometimes it felt like because i had the excuse i was going to use it and that's like hindsight i never really like once i thought that at the time that was when i kind of was like i should probably slow this down and then uh after my last after then i had another like long relationship that did not did not end uh well uh after your marriage after my marriage and I got I started like really not having any control over my drinking

again just getting drunk a lot what were you like drunk I was fine until were you talkative drunk a fun drunk an angry drunk what were you drunk I mean yes any of those were possible and it was like i guess they all always are right it's roulette

man we have no idea right you pull the string and you don't know which noise for sure is going to happen but it's going to be one of these yeah one of these six things like in toy story when you put there's a snake in my boot sometimes there was a snake in my boot. And I was going to be real, real fucking agitated all night. And it was all like I was doing a lot of things. I learned a lot going to therapy that I try to do like regularly, like decide, like just deciding like it seems. Too easy, but. I just like a lot of times I have to just tell myself

no this is going to be fun and then it is fun just because it's I don't really like crowds but I used to let not liking crowds make decisions for me and now I just use it sparingly

like what's worth it what is this worth it like this is worth it like if this is it? Like, this is worth it. Like, if this is going to be dope or if this is going to be. But also, like, I can just leave. Like, now knowing that you have so much. Like, with Uber and stuff, it's so much easier. Everything is so much easier. Oh, it is.

Yeah. So I don't. That feeling, like, trapped or whatever. Like, any of that, like, anxiety type stuff is, is like alleviated now that i just know my exits like you know how like you plan it like james bond will plan his exits whatever jason born i mean or whatever whichever one you like uh he'll plan his exits like i do that from home before i get to a place or go somewhere i'll be like all right here's a couple ways like if it gets too much here's a here's a couple ways. If it gets too much, here's a couple ways to get out.

Okay. Right? And then it just makes it easier to just know going in. I have a plan. I have a plan. I got to go. I do have to do this. Or if you say it like this, be ready.

Well, I'm glad you went to therapy. I mean, if I had to to guess a guy with a background like yours you probably i would think you wouldn't want to go to therapy or even think that was an option but maybe you hit a point where like fuck i just need to talk to somebody we don't ever tell you said earlier in the episode like we didn't talk about any of this shit yeah i hit that point so there was a part of me that was worried that if I went to therapy, I would get better and then less funny. Isn't that weird? Yeah.

You do worry about losing your ad. It is dumb. And I had to reach a point where I didn't care. When I started seeing a therapist, I decided that I was going to do it even if that was true. I guess I just might not be funny anymore. But it turns out that's all. That turns out that's insane. There's like a tortured artist thing that keeps you stuck in your.

And this idea of like, well, I decided to be a comedian. So all of these things kind of go along with that. But there's no rules to any of this. So I don't have to do. You don't have to do anything you don't like. I saw a career counselor at the same time because I figured if I don't have to do you don't have to do anything you don't like i saw a career counselor at the same time because i figured if i wasn't gonna be funny anymore i better figure out how to get a fucking job you were that worried about it huh well i thought here's how it really started man have you ever seen that tv show called friends everyone has seen it's very popular about

it so chandler you mean friends on netflix yeah yeah friends on netflix it says i think it's it's about some kind of weird alternate universe where everybody was worried about other people thinking they were gay god that could be what that show's about and enough of it is about that the people were like damn is that really what this show's about if you cut all those seeds together man i mean come on. Oh, Chandler. I saw this thing where Chandler hated his job and went to see a career counselor, and that's where I heard about career counseling.

So you heard about career counseling on Friends, and you saw it going out. Well, I wanted to see. I felt like when I saw that, I was probably in a hotel room somewhere doing some gig where I would be like, I wish I was dead, but not because of the gig, just in general. In general. That's how I was in a hotel room somewhere doing some gig where I wanted to be. I would be like, I wish I was dead, but not because of the gig, just in general. That's how I was feeling. And a career counselor spoke to you.

And then Chandler's on TV, and he's like, oh, man, I'd rather be dead or whatever. I'd be like, what? Is this one about me? And then he's like, oh, I went to find a career counselor to see what other job I'm suited for. And then the whole punchline of the show it's the same job that he had and the fact that it wasn't stand-up comedian because his background is like his parents got divorced when he was young his dad became a transgender woman who leads a cabaret in vegas like his mom's a romantic like if you like it would seem like

and the way he acts around everybody if a career counselor is ever going to tell someone to be a comedian it would have been him that's your call huh and I thought well I guess it's because it's not really a job like you just shouldn't do it

so I was like maybe I'll go to a career counselor and be like, I'm a comedian. What kind of – because the career counselor, the main thing is it's worth it for, like, just one session. Yeah, well, tell me what you do. You get there and what happens. I have never been to one. Mine was a little bit more – like, I saw her eight times, maybe six. But, like, because I had no idea what, what, what it even was. But what, if you want to go in and do it just once it, it she'll help you. She helped me took

being a comedian for 14 years or whatever at the time, how to put that on a resume. So it sounded like I could do whatever job I was asking for. Like, all this stuff where it's like, oh, I don't do anything. Like, I don't know what, like, do I have any skills? What are the skills I have? And she's like, no, you're really good at this. Like, you could be someone's travel agent. And I was like, oh, yeah, I could.

And I was like, she was like, yeah, because you're your own travel agent. You know how to do it. I was like, I yeah, I could. And I was like, she was like, yeah, because you're your own travel agent. You know how to do, I was like, I do know how to do that. And so she starts making these lists of like, these are these jobs you can have. Was there anything that you were like, if you had to settle, what do you think it would have been? I started looking at copywriting jobs. Okay.

Because you're writing little jokes about, because it's the kind of thing where the amount of funny you have to be about a tractor oh man it's so easy to be that level of funny they don't it just has to have the appearance of it has to be a breezy sentence

like that's breezy is perfect so I went out and was like and she's like well here's what you do go find somebody just listen like i bet you because i would see her every other week wait hold on what's the weirdest one that you um that you uh qualified for or that oh no we didn't it was really not no none of those real specific things like it was like we wrote down there was like well and that's and that's it we kind of skipped a few steps then like they took you write down everything about your job that you like and everything about your job that you hate

and then you make and you put both of those things in piles and then when you start thinking of jobs and you start looking at what's out there and you just see like how many of these things can i do and then how many of these things can i avoid okay and you try to find a job that has more of these and less of more good less bad and then one day it it like clicked like but this all right so i'm extending my network she told me about copywriting, advertising. And that one seemed immediately like kismet because that's what Chandler ends up doing. Like 10 years later or whatever, I'm friends. And I was like, damn. It just like, it felt circular.

And I was like, I think I know some people that do this. And there was a few other ones, but I really went into this because i like i would go out to these offices and meet these people and it was really it seemed it seemed depressing but in a in a way where but not it seemed like people some people are complaining about it some people dig it but it's it really seemed like it could be exactly what you want it to be nobody's gonna get mad like any time where you could just listen to your headphones that's uh and your job is to think stuff think about stuff come on you're really gonna complain about anything whatever uh so i would i like i went to someone's then i met that person's boss and then they just have like a meeting or talk to them or whatever and be like this is what i'm trying to do if you have you know and then

sometimes uh the idea was that at some point there would be you just build out a network in the same way that everybody that does comedy eventually knows everybody like there are people in in your in your circle and in your circle circle and it's like as you go out where you're like i can't believe that like we just literally it's not that hard to know so many people like it tips to where you're like i can't believe i've never met david tell right yeah like and that's where i'm at like when i think about it like it's probably just david tell never met him don't even know how how is it how has it happened uh but everybody knows everybody in every business every basketball writer knows each other somehow every uh so everybody in advertising in cincinnati

they like all kind of knew each other and cincinnati has a pretty good advertising scene right now like independent like new shingles whatever like there are several cool like advertising firms in cincinnati so i met several people i built built that out and then as i was like getting further in and there was like okay so if you do this and then i'm building out of making my own portfolio and then possibly being brought in for like contract jobs or whatever that that kind of stuff is like how i was like shooting for that while i was still doing stand-up like this is we were developing this like plan for transitioning positions and uh then one day i was just looking at the list of things the

pros list and the cons list and i realized i don't know why I even do any of the things on the cons list I don't have to do any of them I don't have a boss why is there any part of this job I don't like yeah and once I realized that I was like I think I found out the best job I'm gonna do stand-up but just exactly how I feel like right like for and then if that doesn't work then we'll then we'll talk about this advertising thing so you always got copyright and fall back on it. Yeah, well, at least I have a plan. Yeah, that's a great job. And it keeps you in comedy, too.

It keeps you thinking. And you can do it whenever. I mean, yeah. I just needed to be, I feel like I needed to be shown. It was like Scrooged or whatever. I needed to be shown that you just do this for so long and you build up all of this baggage and this like because you're like walking into a headwind and every now and then i guess it had just been a while since i'd looked up and cleaned off my face

so are you enjoying it's very descriptive but you get the idea, right? Like, I didn't realize that I was all covered in shit. I just... I got it. Yeah. I shook it off, but now I realize. Since reconnecting a little more with your mom and your dad's passing,

you find yourself enjoying stand-up more or less the same? Is it... I just find different things are... i just feel right now like something is happening in how i do it and what i think about and how what i talk about but i and it's been going on it's been going on for a little while and i it's because i think it's because the stand-up was, I spent a lot of time doing stand-up simply to figure out how to say things to my dad where he would have to listen to the whole idea before he could start shouting about it. And now that I don't have that, I haven't written any ideas in a while. Okay. And that, it doesn't concern me, but it makes me wonder like like i just i just

noticed that's all is i noticed and uh i wonder what i wonder what that means probably nothing did your dad ever see you live yeah yeah he loved he loved the attention he only ever got mad there was one time he got mad because i made it sound like he was a bad republican oh he doesn't care if it's bad dad but don't you dare call me a bad bad dad bad husband bad minister none of that bothered him bad teacher bad republican he got so mad why what did you say oh i made a joke about how he was against uh how it's like it's hard to find somebody on medicare who is against like it's like a special kind of person it's like a special kind of selfish to have that and be against you just don't want other people to have it you're

not against health care you're just against other people's health care like that's a shitty position but he took that position gleefully and uh boy when i said that he did not i was a political science major yeah in the 60s dipshit you heard about maybe the show maybe yeah right maybe now that you put a maybe on it, it makes sense you think some of this stuff. Because some of this stuff is fucking nonsense. Oh, man. Well, thank you for being here, dude. This was great. I appreciate you.

We just talked about my dad. Yeah. Oh, man. No, we didn't. Look at your list up there. Your dad died last year. Oh, damn. You're good at this.

Complicated relationship. You've been divorced. You quit drinking, went to therapy at the same time. Oh, man. We did all of that. Covered everything. Before we decided about my dad. You're like the guy on the shield that can break anybody.

Oh, man. That is hilarious. Well, thank you for being here i really appreciate you covered everything you said you want to talk about i'm so excited to be here thank you thank you for having me man my hands are a little clammy but i still want to shake brother please will you uh and give me that back there we go will you one more time promote whatever you'd like, please? At Jeff Tate on Instagram, justanotherclown. I will be on some of those. When does this come out? In a few weeks. Yeah, in a few weeks.

I'll be out with Tommy Segura in Grand Rapids and Columbus and whatever that run is. I think one of them's in canada so if you're in whatever town we're in right before we go to canada meet me outside and help me smoke all my weed and if you're at the one that's in canada meet me outside because i don't have any weed anymore thank you again for coming on jeff i appreciate you i'm ryan sickler on all social media ryan sickler.com we'll talk to you all next week Bye.