The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - George Perez - HoneyPerez

Episode Date: February 7, 2022

My HoneyDew this week is comedian, George Perez! (Comedy Central, Showtime) George returns to Highlight the Lowlights of life in prison! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: How To Buy A Home Podcast -Listen to the How to Buy a Home Podcast today for your step-by-step guide for buying your first home! Babbel -Go to https://www.Babbel.com and use promo code HONEYDEW to get an additional 3 months FREE when you purchase a 3-month Babbel subscription

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I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest back on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back George Perez, everybody. Welcome back to the Honeydew, George. What's up, my boy? Thank you so much for having me back to all the Sickler fans out there. Thanks, man. Like, hey, I'm back.

You are back. And before I say anything else, give me a little love, brother. Thank you. Congrats on being a paid regular at the Comedy Store. Thank you. Hey, we're made men, dog. Dude, we did it the same night together. Not only did we go in together, we did it the same night to get not not only did we go in together we did it the same night and i brought you up yeah and let me tell

you dude you fucking slayed i've been saying you had the best there's no hands down the best set of the night not just to the showcases you had the best set of the night you shredded that thank you brother hey you know what i want to you're not lying because somebody came up to me and they're like, yo, Sickler was giving you props in the main room, in the green room, about your grandma getting deported joke. 100%. That shit really happened. I know. And that's what I'm saying.

The police raided the house and the only illegal thing in there was your grandma. Smoking weed while they're taking her ass out of there i remember the line the only grandma ever lost i was like that's a great joke that's the shit i remember sometimes i can't remember people's names whatever like dude dude that bit that means more to me anyway i don't give a fuck you know my name's ryan or brian i don't give a shit anyway congrats on being a paid regular at the world famous comedy store it's a big deal fun to go on with you thank you and check out george's last episode where uh salt off sundays was uh coined it was a great episode uh but if you want to promote anything now please do everything you want up top yeah uh follow me on instagram twitter uh if you're married you probably still have a

facebook with your wife it It's George P Comedy. YouTube, George Perez Stories. Also follow Fools Gone Wild. That's who I tour with. I tour with Fools Gone Wild and the Funk Freaks. And, hey,

I'm back. We're going to go into detail about everything and it's on. Yo, paid regulars, my boy. Paid regulars. All right.

So last time we were here we talked about a lot of the shit you did that landed you in prison and we talked a touched on prison but i i was telling you before we record i'm fascinated by prison i love all the locked up shows i love locked up abroad what do you think of those shows i know i know it's a little bit hokey and shit like that but but i also can't believe there was a person that was convinced to do the shit these people have done. I know. I'm watching this guy over in fucking Brazil, and I'm like, you're about to put two pounds of heroin up your asshole? I know I'm not even part of it, and I'm getting anxiety like, his motherfucker is crazy.

Yeah. So I, as a a person my whole goal is to never i don't even want to do jail never go to prison jail and prison are different fucking neighborhoods they're way too different because when you're in jail you're how can i say it governed or you're the people in charge you are sheriffs and they know you're not going to be there too long now when you're in prison, they're correctional officers. Yeah, you're detained in jail. You're living in prison.

Oh, yeah. It's two different shit. Like, when you're in the county, your clothes, all that crap, it's not going to go with you. When you go to prison, it's a whole new thing. So I was saying to you, like, I want to talk more about this lifestyle because there are people who want to go to prison you were like i know those fools i'm like yeah there are peoples whose sole purpose in their life is like i want to go live in that institution yeah they play monopoly and they get to get out of jail card and they burn it get this shit out of here have you seen

guys literally that could get out and just or went right back is that what you mean they get out and they go right back in yeah it's it's it's a whole different system i mean it's like it's kind of like the army bro that's what i'm saying it's an institution for sure and then all right so talk to me walk us through the first day you're going to prison not jail you're ready for this yeah day one i won't forget it because i don't remember if you told us on the last episode okay uh christmas eve already christmas eve's house and i'm fucking i shaved the night before because i know my family's gonna come visit me it's friday what did they get you for they got me for uh this last one was uh assault aggravated assault, street terrorism, gang enhancements, and a GBI, great bodily injury. Okay.

First of all, what is a street terrorism? Street terrorism is in that era, if you were considered a gang member and you were with more than two, three people. They made up a term. Yeah. Hell yeah. I was like, what the fuck? I look Indian, but I'm not. He's a terrorist?

No, he's a street terrorist. Yeah, street terrorist. And this happened at the basketball court. So yeah, two different shit. But yeah, they got me for that. And then the GBI is a great bodily injury. And what did you do to that person? Can you say?

I know there's some shit you can't talk about. No, I could say this because it's already done so i broke his eye socket right here he had to have like a plate and i guess it's connected to like your breathing passages so that his full pumped it up he showed up the fucking cord like darth vader remember when they found him yeah one leg yeah and i was even i was like fuck like you were breathing when i left like hey i beat him up so bad i told myself get in the fucking car you're like a lot of people don't know this but the real reason i defending, defending is my son was on the fucking playground.

This wasn't even gangster shit. There was two men playing basketball. No. And this fool thought he could punk me, and I'm good in basketball. I was. I'm not good no more. I can't play, but I was scoring on them, clowning them. And, you know, this is right before I become a comedian,

but I still have those comedic burns. You know how it is. When you're a man and you're getting burned by another man. And I just had to whip his ass. And yeah. So I got locked up for all that shit. But going to prison? Fuck, man.

Now, why is. Okay, I want to ask you this. Was it a culmination of all the shit that you've done up to this point plus this to put you in prison? Or is this, if you had been clean, would this one offense be prison worthy? The only reason it was prison worthy is because of the GBI. Got it. Okay. That comes like, I should have done six years.

Years? Yeah. Because a GBI is a three-year enhancement. Like, yo, you fucked. Enhance like enhancement i love that that's the word you know that fucking giselle giseline who i don't even know her name for who though huh it's an enhancement for who for not for the system yeah and i was like yeah the more money of course keep the bed full yes and. And yeah, man. I was in the county because you got to go to county for your trial. I fought this shit. You're fighting a lot, bro.

That's what got you there in the first place. The only one I lost. It's the only one I lost. So before this, though, I mean, I had great parents, bro. A lot of people say it's parents. I had great fucking parents, man. My mom used to look for me at night with knives and shit. Even my friends would be like, yo, your mom's looking for you, dog.

The gangbangers. They're like, yo, your mom's looking for you with a bat and a knife. And I was like, fuck. I had to sneak into my own house and be like, I was in the room the whole time. What are you talking about? So, uh, we're going to go now to my first day in prison.

It's Friday. I won't forget it. It's like fucking two in the morning. And the cops like Perez, you're catching the chain. Catching the chain means is you're're gonna go upstate to wasco prison and it's showtime dog and they and they're just like look don't fucking bring underwear just fucking wear your jumpsuit fucking sandals and that's it you're not none of this you're you're

and i was like all right whatever and you're allowed to take keep your the letters and pictures that your family you know i was writing my family letters they're writing me i got to keep all that and what hey damn if i'm having like a weird flashback it's like a weird train riding and everyone's on a train no i mean a bus it felt like a train because the bus is old and you're all seen that bus on the highway. Yeah. I've seen it. And you're like chained, bro. To what? The seat? No, to each other.

So it's called catching the chain. So like I'm handcuffed. My hands and feet are handcuffed. Okay. The guy next to me is handcuffed and there's a fucking chain going through all of us. Every single, oh, I see. So if one goes, y'all got to go.

I got you. Remember Marshall and Harrison Ford and shit? It was like that. Got it. And you know. And is it two per seat? Is that the way? Yeah, it's two per seat.

And this thing snakes through all of you. Yeah, and it's already race separated right now. You're like, they already know. They got the blacks over there. They got the whites over here. And they got the others over here. The yeah you know other you know what others are uh so they have a group called others where they don't associate their politics with no one they're just in their own lane doing shit because like how in the fuck are you going to be metzkin if

you're from russia there's like so that's where it breaks off so we get to wasco that's probably what 20 degrees i'm fucking freezing bro we're outside and they're like hey this is it you're no longer our property you belong to the state and we walk into a building are you scared i'm fucking scared as fuck but in my face i'm just like, bring this shit. Bring this shit. This is what I want to talk about. Because I watched some shit today where it was a woman's prison. She walked in. You could see the fear on this lady's face.

And I was like, they're going to kick your ass. Yeah. But you also have this thing where you know some people in there at the time, right? So I know that's a little comforting, but I couldn't imagine going in and being like, I don't know anybody in there that I could trust or even ask questions. So it's on your face, I'm hard, but inside you're like, I'm fucking, oh, my God. All that shit got stripped from me. Because when I walked in, I thought it was going to be like fucking Shawshank Redemption where y'all walk in and they're all laughing at you and shit. No, you walk into a building and there's women walking.

There's women in there doing the reception. And they're like, get naked right now. And I was like, what the fuck? They're like, get naked. And then now there's 300 naked motherfuckers. And they're like, all right, boom. They checked all my tattoos because they're profiling you

where they're going to send you. They're like, all right, where can I send this for? Oh, yo. And you know me, everyone says, I've never been a gang member or nothing. They're like,

what's that tattoo? That tattoo. Then they go to this chart and they're like, okay, we know who you are. We know where you're going. And they boom. As soon as I get up there,

the lady was just like, what's your name? Boom. She looked it up. There's a fucking fight, bro. What do you mean? So while you're standing there talking to this lady, a fight breaks out.

Yeah. And it didn't even break out in the building. It broke out on the yard. I haven't even been to prison yet. Like you're in the reception of it. And they had to bring this white boy, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

It was like swole ass white boy got brought in his face was like completely just red all and i was just like all right homie it's going down in my head i was just like hey man it's going down all right cool and then that's when everyone just they separated us because they didn't know if it was going to ricochet in there with us. Because, you know, the whites seen their homeboy fucked up and they're like, what happened? And he was just like, he was just, they put him in a cage separate. I don't know what was going on. He owed money.

What the fuck it was. But that was my first experience of like, hey, dog, they kill. Like, they kill here. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And then. Yeah, i know exactly what the that's what i'm scared of yeah so for anyone i've watched some shit i don't mean to interrupt no you're watching shit where i've talked about this before where i learned like whites here blacks

here uh mexicans here and like if you this is the end literally the end of the bunk bed this guy was standing over here but facing him doing shit but his feet were in the Mexican side it's over and they kept telling him yo so they finally went to the leader of the white the whites and was like if your boy does this shit again we're taking him out and he was new so they went to him and said look

we don't know you we don't give a fuck about you this is your last warning if you go over there you're not starting trouble for us. We're letting them fuck you up. And then he got it right away. Yeah. See, what should have happened, and I'm not trying to tell any race how to do it, but if that was in my situation, I would have went up to the guy and be like, hey, homie, you're new, huh? Hey, check it out, man.

You're one of us now. You represent us. So let me give you a little bit of scratch. Scratch, I mean, schooling. But see, the Mexicans did that. They were cool about it. Yeah. And that's why they were upset.

Like homeboy keeps doing it. Yeah. We told him once. That's it. In prison. One fucking time. Yeah. I'm scared.

I couldn't. I don't think I could go to sleep, but that's what I want to get to next. All right. So get through the day. I want to know about the first time. You don't even want to do it. It's like I feel like I will stay awake until my body just collapses. Okay.

So after that, they give you a laundry bag because you're in reception. Wasco is a reception and a prison yard. Reception is they're going to interview you and let you know, like, hey, this fool's a fucking psycho. We got to put him in a ward. Excuse me. Or they're like, you know what? This guy, he's like a gangster, but I can see it. It's just an evaluation.

My points were too high. I was in there for a violent crime. So the point system is, I think it's one through 18. You're on a level one yard. That's where like when Tommy Chong got locked up, he was locked up in Fairfield.'re on a level 1 yard that's where like when tommy chong got locked up he was locked up in fairfield it's a level 1 yard no real criminals as far as like abusive level 2 yard is the same shit but you know it's but the three and the four ryan it's fucking as you see oh yeah it is no it is bro it's like and wasco's a three and a four yard just that yeah but the whole place you're in is nothing but aggressive yeah fucking convicts yeah and every yard has a one yard because it's the workers and shit because you can't let these other guys work

in the kitchen they'll fucking kill each other right yeah good point yeah so you have to have one yarders there okay and but oh dude so they give me my laundry bag and shit and i'm like and one of the homies is like i know people there but they're not my friends right they're like fools i used to gangbang with when i was younger and they're like what's up homie i thought you're doing comedy what are you doing here i was like I guess the jokes didn't work, eh? And then I was like, you know, some bullshit I did. I got caught up in. And I knew I was only doing three years.

So they ask you, how much time are you doing? And that's where you got to be super respectful. So you got reduced from six to three? No, I only got three because I got a great lawyer. And when I went to court, the judge is like, you know what, man? You haven't been in trouble in 12 years, George. You're a father. You're doing good.

So many people wrote letters for me. And he was like, I'm just going to give you three years. And I was like, oh, shit. Isn't it crazy that you're thanking somebody for three years of prison? I wrote him. I wrote him. I was in prison. His name was Judge Wapner.

Nuh-uh. Yeah, he was in Newport. Not the people's court. Yeah, so everyone was like, no, I'm not making this shit up. Judge Wapner's the OG people's court, man. I didn't even think of that shit. I didn't even think of that. Was it him?

He was a retired judge? No, this guy was, you know, I don't ever judge nobody for being racist. This guy had no racist bone in him. I could feel it. He was fair. You can't judge the judge, yeah. Yeah, like he was just, he wrote me back too. He was just like, you know what?

I hope you do good in your life. I took a chance on you, guy. And I was like, I'm not, hey, I got your back. He wrote me back, bro. I wrote him. He's like. You got to invite him to, if he's still alive, bring him out to the comedy store, man. Yeah, for real.

For real, believe. I love how you always i could i've seen them later when i went to my brother's court but anyways so you get your laundry bag and now they're taking you to your prison cell once the gate opens there's signs on the wall that say no warning shots oh god everything i'm scared of everything and there's these guys in towers with fucking ar-15s ready just if you put your foot on the fence they have a right to shoot you and that's called an escape now one foot i see that's considered an escape one even if you're tying that shoe or something. Yeah. I would look at the fence and be like, it's the first time a Mets can see in a fence. And I was like, nah. Nah.

I climb a nizzle. Nah. I'm good, eh? I'm good. So I get to the craziest yards in Wasco are D4 and D5. D5 is now the hole, the shoe program. I was in D4. So what does that mean?

D4 is 23-hour lockdown. All because of this aggressive charge? No. Enhancement? It's just how it is. Is that how it starts or that's just how prison goes? It's a reception. So they know like, hey, if we let these motherfuckers out, shit's going to crack.

Okay. We didn't even get yard. It was just- One hour a day. One hour. And check this out. All my enemies live under me. Under me. On the floor below you? me, under me.

On the floor below you? Yeah, right there. And there's a van and they're talking shit. Fuck you motherfuckers. I can't wait. And the way me and my people are,

we don't say nothing. We avoid it. Okay, whatever. We put like little paper over the van. We have to hear them sometimes. And I get there. There's some fucking lame ass fool.

That was my Sally. I couldn't stand this fool. How many in a cell? That's what I want to ask. Okay. It's too dangerous. And this guy was a weirdo, bro. Like weirdo.

Like he was trying to scare me, but that's beyond that. This is my first night. Like mental, like trying to get weird on you. Like crazy. Yeah. Well, he was trying to get weird on you, like crazy? Yeah. Well, he was trying to scare me because he was hiding something. I figured it out later. I'm like, what the fuck?

What's this for hiding? And I told her, hey, dog, let's get down. When you're in prison and it's your own people, you have to be like, hey, look, I have a problem with you. So get your knife and i'll get mine and we'll just go at it and then i'm cool or we can fight one-on-one and i told him hey dog we're gonna have to get down and then he pushed the button and left like you could tell the cops hey i'm in my fear and i want to get out of here but the first night we're there yeah i want to get to falling asleep eventually i didn't get a chance

to fall asleep you clean your bunk i'm talking you better clean this shit like if it's a garage cell toy god i can't imagine you know what i mean so i got my soap i got a rag i fucking cleaned it all i cleaned the floor i cleaned everything put my mattress shit on then i'm i'm i'm kind of tripping because it's freezing and all you have is a jumpsuit so the homies i put a t-shirt over your head it's gonna get cold wrap it on your head wear your jacket when you sleep and i was like i don't want to get this shit wrinkled but i want to live so i'm about to put my jacket on and then out of nowhere the fucking gooners come in the gooners are like the SWAT team of probation of correction officers i guess the day

before i was in prison our people jumped the cops oh man and the guy who started it is the guy's cell i came into that's why they kicked him out oh okay that's what he was hiding so i haven't even laid in my bed yet and they fucking go to my room, rip all my sheets off to see if we had weapons. I just cleaned that. Yeah. And then when they search you, they put you out on the yard

and you have to go through a metal detector because sometimes people have metal in them. And that was my first fucking night. And then I just, I remember like walking back and shit. And it's like, ah, fuck, how old was I when I went in? I was 30. And it's just a trip because there was fools there that were like monsters, bro.

Like you could just, and one of them was like. Tell me about the baddest dude in D5. D4. Four. He was, I'm not going to give up my homie, but there was an enemy in there that was fucking crazy. I mean, was there a guy in there that you just, everyone, everyone, regardless of race or whatever, was like, that fucking guy. He's the baddest motherfucker. Like, if you had to have prison against prison fights, who's the one dude that's repping this prison?

I don't know. There were some tough ones. Yeah, but there was one dude that came out on the news while we were watching it. He was from Bakersfield. He was from a gang called Country Cowboy Crips. And this fool went into the fucking club, looked at the camera, and was like, what's up, my boy? And just fucking boom, boom boom boom shot that motherfucker drank a beer and left damn and it came out on the news while we were there because

they housed him at wasco where we were at and he was a disrespectful ass fool and uh i won't forget this fool he's probably doing life i mean he has to has to be. But like, yeah, he was a fucking, he was a piece of shit, dude. Like, so if he's our enemy and any door opens, I have to fucking run out there. That's the way it works. Yeah. Tell me. I know you can't say everything. No, but like, so say me and you are cellies.

Your name's Rain. We'll call me Raul. I'll take Raul. That was my name in Spanish class, Raul. The teacher said there is no Ryan in Spanish. She's like, I'm going to call you Raul. I go, what is that? She goes, Ralph.

I was like, God damn it. I'll take it. All right. So we're cellmates. By the way, you're locked up with one person for 20, those 23 hours you're with somebody. Yeah. That would drive me nuts. Well, it's a whole, it's kind of like we're at war.

So it's like, say me and you are locked up. It'd be cool because I'd be like, hey, so check this out. What's your schedule like, brother? When do you want to work out? When do you want to eat? So I give you the whole space. I'll lay on my bed for you for four hours. And then you lay on your bed for me for four hours.

That way I can read. When you're on your bed, you read a book. You write a letter to your loved ones. It's like a, it's a camaraderie. It's like, yo, homie, this is us. But that fool that I had first wasn't, he wasn't with the program. So I had to like, let him know, man. And yeah, bro.

So that guy that was, that killed that fool, he decided to piss on one of our doors. Because they give you a day room and he pissed on one of our doors. And next chance we had, we got that fool out of there. Just attacked him. Yeah. Damn, fool. You brought back some crazy memories. You need more water?

Yeah, man. You know, it was a trip, though, too, Ryan. I seen childhood friends in there in that prison. Because after I was in D4, they moved me to A1. Now that's prison mainline life. Like, where I was at, the cops were like, we're not going to deal with you guys. You're going to be in yourself for 23 hours. You're going to take an hour to fucking take a shower, say hi, do whatever you got to do, and you go back in.

Now in this other place, cell living, more people. Okay. Now how long are you before you're moved into that area? It matters. It took me three months. Man, you were on lockdown 23 hours a day for three fucking months dude i did 90 days in the shoe and that with the hole is that the hole okay the shoe i i i take i wasn't in the shoe i was in the hole what's the difference the shoes a program like some people like my uh one of my best friends, my brother Evans, he did 13 years in this shoe.

God. I'm still thinking 90 days in the hole. Yeah. How much out of that are you? 24. What do you mean? I mean, how much, like, do you get out at all? No.

Five minutes? Nothing? Nothing. I mean, they let you shower once a week in the normal shower. A week? Yeah. Well, you just got to shower in your cell. I mean, in the little, yeah, the little cell.

You just take like a bowl of water and just clean yourself. It's crazy because there's like five other cells. This is a 10 by 10 room. How big is the hole? Smaller than this, right? From this table to the wall. That's it. From, yeah, right here.

Not, but maybe here. Holy shit. That's like a five by five. Yeah. Six by six. There's a toilet there. There's your bed. And then there's just a door in your little area right here. Not, but maybe here. Holy shit. That's like a five by five. Yeah, and there's a toilet there. There's your bed. And then there's just a door in your little area right there. And nothing.

You don't have no extra food. You don't have none. Books? One book. Yeah. Anything to write with? No, probably. Yeah, like that little-ass pencil you get for like questionnaires at Whole Foods.

So what are you doing to keep your mind sane? I'm fucking working out. Yeah. Not jokes. Like thinking of any, you're allowed to get mail. I remember getting mail once. Oh, I'm going to forget that letter. 90 days of darkness and solitude.

And then like under, so the doors are kind of, so if this is the floor, this is the door. And then I just started going under the door. Hey, well, so who else is in here? You trying to get stage time?

Hey y'all, how many of y'all out there smoke? Yeah, we smoke. All right. That's my man. Yeah. Oh my God. i ain't gonna lie i started telling jokes to those fools i was just like what's up homie hey i remember doing i was like hey homie it's hard doing comedy in prison they're like why i'm like everybody's so captive

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three months for free that's six months for the price of three just go to babbel.com and use promo code honeydew that's b-a-b-b-e-l.com code honeydew babble language for life now let's get back to the do yeah man that was the whole that shit what um what did you learn about yourself in those 90 fucking days i should that's a great question i i learned that uh patience is everything uh light is beautiful yeah people are beautiful uh it uh no man like it's all kinds of shit i was in the hole because i was in a riot and the riot had to happen it had to happen and i'm not one of those guys that's like oh i was there no i i was like i'm gonna it doesn't matter what kind of guy you are. When you're in prison, you are now in a brand new place. And I watched this documentary on HBO.

It pissed me off a little bit because there was this – it was like a white nerdy kid, and he wrote a bunch of bad checks. But they put him in a violent prison, maximum security, because of the amount. Yeah. And the lawyer kept saying saying you can't throw this kid in with the killers and shit they're gonna fucking kill him and that's exactly they didn't kill him what they did is made him help so one dude was stabbing another dude and they made him hold the guy's legs he was in there for bad checks now he's now he's in for life for murder in prison and they just made this guy hold the dude's legs while he

and again it's it was violent they had the video of it and you're just it's like the dude stabbed him like 60 times or something but but again they're reminding you like this is a guy who raped and killed people that's dying so but then he joins a band in prison i'm like we i'm at the music center we can't get instruments for these kids these people stealing them out of here during the riots this motherfucker's playing the bass guitar. These people stealing them out of here during the riots. This motherfucker's playing the bass guitar in prison. Get the fuck out of here, man. There's only one guitar in there.

I had three strings and shit. But yeah, he was this nerdy kid that did. That's what I'm saying. You could end up in there. You could easily end up in there. That's why I don't ever want to. I'm scared of it. So the riot had to happen because you up in there. You could easily end up in there. That's why I don't ever want to. I'm scared of it. So the riot had to happen because you're in prison, and if that's what's going to happen, then you're either with it or you're dead.

Yeah. I mean, you're not dead. There's going to be a price to pay. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I was kind of, as stupid as it sounds, Ryan, I was with it. I was still, I'm 30 years old, and I was like, man, I'm fucking shot off Sunday. I was just like, you know what? Fuck this shit.

I need to let these fools know what's up. So what happens in a riot? All hell. All hell. And are they, they're not firing in on you guys or anything like that? Or you're getting as much as you can before they lock it all down? The riot I did was in the county. Okay. And it was all bad.

It was just us versus everybody. Everybody. Everybody. We were sick of what the fuck. We were getting treated in there. And we're like, we're not going to have this shit no more. So we all woke up early as fuck. And what do you do you just

fucking get up how many of you guys there was maybe let me see i would say there's about 150 in that dorm total people and there was probably 80 mexicans so half of you guys against everybody else. Yeah. But everybody else was like, we're helping you too. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh, HD, honey dude. No, that's down homie.

Are you Mexican? I am today. I am today. Yeah. I am today. And fuck, bro. So we lived in these, it's a big ass dorm and they have like Foxtrot, Alpha, Beta, C, like places where you live. They house like 15 to 16 people. I was living in Foxtrot F. They found me in B.

Is that far away? Like, I wasn't even supposed to be where the, for the tables were. And yeah, but it was kind of an honor because like they came in, the cops came in with fucking, uh,

those, uh, rubber bullets. Are they, what are they? Gas? All the shields? No, worse.

Battering ram shit? Worse. Worse? What the fuck is that? They came in with like a pepper spray, but like size of fire extinguishers. Oh, I've seen those. The ones they use on the Capitol rioters and shit. Yeah.

And then they had paintball pellets that had mace in them. Oh, shit. And I had so many welts on me and i just remember though like so they when they come in everyone stay where the fuck you are you have to investigate and then they're like what the hell are you doing over here i was like you know you make up an excuse dude i woke up people were fighting i ran i ran and they're like okay i'm they're like why you have all these welts on you i was like you guys shot me like and they're like okay i'm they're like why you have all these welts on you i was like you guys shot me like and they're like why are your hands out this is from that riot damn yeah

like it was going down bro it was going down and they took me away and people are just like get down shotgun get down homie and i was like why weren't you guys with me like like okay i'll see y'all fools i'll see y'all fools i'll'll see y'all fools. I'll see you later. I'll see you later. And then like people who don't go, they're the ones that were like, Oh no, no, no,

I got, I did my thing. So whatever. Yeah, bro. That was the, what do they do then? Do they have more time to your sentence for,

no, they have to investigate. And then they sent me to the hall. I lost. They knew they were like, no. And then they put you in a red jumpsuit you do your 90 days yeah because now you're a violent like hey this might he'll do some shit and

yeah bro but being in the hole i got away from everybody i wrote all my family and uh it was kind of like hey homie you know, you know what's going to happen every time. I mean, I'm with the business, bro. If there's a riot, I'm going. But there was no need to be more aggressive than I had to be after that. That time in solitude, did you envision yourself back on stage? Were you saying to yourself, when I'm out of here, I'm going to go do comedy, do the right thing? Or were you worried you'd be back there?

What were you thinking? None of that. Nothing? No, I was just more like, fuck, I let my kids down. They were going to come visit me. Now you're denied all that shit. Oh, shit, three months, now you don't even get to see your kids. Yeah, and it it sucked man because

my son was in sixth grade at that time and i have custody of him and we were just like he'd always right and he was just like what happened and i was like i'll see you at visiting like i can't explain this shit through a letter and i just just remember seeing him. He was just like, Hey man, I don't have a mom. All I have is you. What are you going to do? And I was like, all right, I'll be home.

I'll be home. Don't trip up. And then, yeah, man, you know, your friends and your family can't check you, but your kids can,

you know what I mean by that? And you just do a certain thing. And from there on, I do know what you mean by that. Yeah. I was like, you know what I mean by that. And you just do a certain thing. And from there on. I do know what you mean by that. Yeah. I was like, you know what, George? There's no more reason to be hard. Motherfuckers know what it's like.

It doesn't hit like the way it does when you're a kid. Yeah. It just doesn't. Yeah. You know? It's crazy. Like, my son to this day still lives with me. And he's always like, hey, remember you drew this for me in prison?

I was like, you kept all this shit? And he's always like, Hey, remember you, you drew this for me in prison. I was like, you kept all this. And he's like, I loved it. And I go, I ain't, I go, I'm not going to lie.

I didn't draw that for her. I paid some raisinets for an artist. You know, it's a trip though. As I was locked up with some crazy gangster named Rascal. He's from La Mirada. That's La Mirada. Yeah, I got it. I got it. I've been out here long enough.

I can order a Taco Bell. And he was a tattoo artist and hardcore gangster. I was going to ask you, do you have any, how many prison tats? All of them. Yeah. Except for. I think I might have asked you that last time. Yeah.

This one is my mom's name. She passed away. I got her in a rose and yeah, that's it. And oh no, but Rascal did these when he got out, like his, his life, he's doing great. He owns his own tattoo shop now. Like, hey bro, it's a, it's a trip when you're locked up with someone and then you see them rehabilitated. And get out and do it. And do it.

Yeah. Like, did I tell you by the time I got locked up at the Dodger game? I mean, no. I don't think so. You said it to me before we got on. I was like, shut up and don't say another word. Why would you do it at the Dodger game? So we're in those cheap ass seats.

The ones like where you could see the fucking dozens. Yeah, yeah. When you can't tell if it's a foul ball or a home run for a minute. Yeah, you're like, hang on. All right, all right. You dare catch it, you're like, no. You just wait to get hit by the ball. And we were drunk and shit, and we were throwing shit on the field.

We were just being dumbasses. We were the girls, and the girls we were throwing shit on the field and we were just being dumbasses we were the girls and the girls who were with her pushing people and uh yeah they have a jail in dodger stadium they got i think in all stadiums but wait you got you so you're being you were drunk and throwing shit on the field what inning i think it was the fifth or the sixth i got i got i got out 19. Wait, so they take you down to the jail and you get out? Yeah. They realized that we really weren't doing shit. They were containing us. And I'm not on parole.

I'm not. It's fucking bullshit. I wasn't even thinking about it. How stupid were you to let these fools lock you up? Like, hey, dog, you're not even a cop. Like, the hot dog fools locked us up. Nuh-uh. Like, how some hot dog vendor hold some gangster down?

That's how fucking drunk we were. That's how the fucker must have loved his job. Because I'll tell you what, for that minimum wage, I ain't holding shit. The hot dog guy got you. Yeah. Man, prison, it sucks right now too ryan uh the system's bad bro like on a level two and one yard those yards that were like for people to go home they're no good no more what i mean no good is they have the snitches they're called sny yards what's that special need yards okay like you got snitches molesters fucking people that are jomos and all that shit people

that have done a crime if they put them with people like me they'll be killed so now they're like well if you want to go home you have to stay this yard, but then you're no good no more. So it's all bad. It's all bad, bro. Like say you're doing 20 years and you're on your 18th year now. You're like, you know what, Ryan, your points have dropped. Now you can get visits with your family and hug them and shit. But you're like, I can't go to that yard. I can't sleep with the molester. I can't have like, yeah, it's all bad, man. Hey, shout out to all the homies doing time. Stay safe, fellas.

Stay on that three yard and just do that hard time at the end. Because say you go to that level two yard, now you got to beat that guy up so they'll take you off the yard. And you just added eight months to your sentence. I see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you were in prison, you'd handle, bro.

It's just your style. Listen, I believe, I would hope where I was put, I could hold myself, hold my own. But you put me on those, I'm almost 50. You put me in there with some 24-year-old fucking monster. Fuck the ass whooping i'll take it yeah i ain't gonna do nothing you know i might get his eye i'll go for an eye something yeah but also i wouldn't start any shit i'm that way in life i mind my own business i don't want to look over here and even see what you're doing i hear horror stories about people walking by and looking in now you saw what they were doing like get your ass in here you're doing this heroin too because if you don't you're gonna tell on us and

we're gonna have to fucking kill you now you're doing whatever in that cell i hear all kinds of stories well you don't have to do the heroin but it's more like we get like you said there's gonna be a price to pay yeah yeah yeah that that oh fuck i feel bad i don't even know if i've ever said this shit you always bring this shit out of me me, dude. You'd be like the best guy for 48. You're like, all right, I need to know everything, man. So I was at this prison, man, and there was this white guy that was, oh, he was a poor guy. He was an older man, like 64, and his name was Wesley.

He was from Compton. Originally, like the OGs. Yeah, I was going to say say he must be 64 way he's probably 74 76 now he was in there for attempted murder got a divorce started drinking he's he's he's a not a puny but he's a little. And then somebody made fun of him afterwards. And they beat him up. They pissed on him. They took his money. And so he broke a bottle, went in there and stabbed that motherfucker.

Damn. And now he's staying. I was in a dormitory my last year because my points dropped. Is that your own cell? No. You're still sharing? No. Now I'm living in the barracks with

100 inmates and it's just open open oh okay like you know the navy right yep and it's like that and it rock and rolls and uh this fool he was i'm allowed to have a white or a med skin full sleep under me if not i'm not sleeping there and shit's gonna happen it's what it is it's what it is it's the politics and so one night i had my cell phone and i was i was it was my fault bro i shouldn't have been as loud as i was because he had to go to work he was uh he worked for the x for the dental x they have dentists in prison okay and he was the x-ray guy that went yeah and he had juice and i i could have used them but i was was like, this poor old white man, and then one night, he wakes up in front of everybody, dog, there's all of us right there,

all of us, and he's like, hey, shotgun, I'm like, good morning, he's like, fucking, what do you mean good fucking morning, you fucking kept me up all fucking night, all this bullshit, and I just looked at this fool, and everybody's looking at me like oh shit someone just called out shotgun he was sitting on the bottom bunk putting his fucking shoe on talking shit to me and i just fucking jumped off my bunk i fucking kicked him in the motherfucking face this is why i never want to go to prison because he had to say something and you had to do something. That's what I'm saying. I don't even want to be in prison yet. I get the fucking mindset.

I don't want to be there. And I remember just going, you say one more word, dog. I'm not going to stop. And then all the whites were like, fuck, we have to back up our homie. And all the Mexicans were like, jump. And then fucking, I was like, jump. And then fucking, I was like, I don't have the power,

but I was just like, Hey homie, it was a misunderstanding. You know, if you guys want to punish me, I'm down. And I was like, no one's punishing you.

This motherfucker disrespected you. You do what you had to do. And then like, it was weird for, cause I had to sleep with this for later. Did he, did he go fix his own teeth? He's in there himself doing his shit.

X-raying his own shit. Like, ah, it's all. You are a savage. That's the guy I'd be in prison saying shit like that that I get beat in my sleep for talking shit this is the fucked up part it's all like he didn't even go to eat he was embarrassed

he thought his people were gonna punish him cause he didn't fight back or whatever and I just I went up to the white rep I said hey homie what's the misunderstanding

the rep I love him he's got a little name tag nah he don't have a name tag I know but I was just I told that for hey homie like I apologize he don't have a name tag. I know. I told that for A.O. me.

Like, I apologize. I shouldn't have to apologize. But this old man's going home in a year. I don't think he's ever had to deal with someone like me. So I apologize. But if anything, let me know. And he's like, no, no, no, no. He's like, we're going to tax him.

I said, that's what I don't want you guys to do. What's that, tax him, you said? They're going to beat his ass. Oh, that's a tax. I got to guys to do you know what's that tax them you said they're gonna beat his ass oh that's a tag that ass yeah and i was like okay and i don't and i don't have no power and i was just like hey dog and he's 68 yeah and a bunch of young strong motherfuckers are gonna roll on us yeah people already been killed at that prison i was at for getting taxed because you fight in the restroom and it's all tile. And if you fall back, it's a wrap. So I remember like I was working the yard crew. I just remember like, fuck, man, I feel like a dick.

Like I went to breakfast and people were like, oh, shit. And, you know, the whole prison knew, oh, shit, George kicked. They made shit up. Oh, George kicked some white boy in the face. He did a backflip. Rolled in someone else's bed pretending he was asleep. some white boy in the face. You did a backflip,

rolled in someone else's bed, pretending to sleep. And like, hey, bro, fucking gossip all day. I just remember coming back and I just go, hey, homie, let me talk to you real quick.

And he was just like, yeah, yeah. This head down, all scared. I go, hey, dog, you don't have to be like that, but you put me in a position. Now, I apologize to you,

but that's it. Here's a fucking cigarette. If you want to. Here's two tickets to the comedy store. I promise you they're going to be good someday. You could park here by Spud. I want to find this fool because he was cool, man. Yeah, that's like my whole like.

Now let me ask you. I like it. So you got a heart in there. It hurts, bro. It hurts. whole like now let me ask you i like it so you got a heart in there it hurts bro it hurts because like i still had to do i still did four to five months of this fool sleeping under me and he didn't talk to me ever after that he was just like i bet he didn't say shit to you that's the lesson he learned what um all right so here's what would have happened if you didn't do anything to him? Now.

I didn't do anything to him? Yep, if he talked shit like that. I probably would have got stabbed. By your own. Yeah. For not sticking up. Straight up. No, it would have been like this.

Like, if the big homie would have been like, hey, come here real quick. Let's go to the vineyard. What the fuck going on right there? All right, you need to get taken care of of or you need to go handle that right now. And you're still going to get taken care of. Because you didn't do it. And I had to tell you. Yeah.

Yeah. But I was never that guy. There was a guy in there, though, that fucking was Don King. What do you mean? He was like a promoter. He was. He was just like, hey, check this out, Don. Somebody was talking bad about you.

Don King. I heard it. and he was willing to put himself on the line like hey we'll go over there and i was like who's talking shit on me goes that fool he goes you want to fight him i said yeah yeah yeah he goes all right he goes only i'm the only one allowed in there and we were fighting the restroom and nobody beat his ass for this? Nah, he was like this fool was like 6'4", 230. Oh, okay. Like, he's already been in prison for 16 years. And, like, no homo, he was a beautiful man.

He was telling me stories that he was locked up since he was, like, 12. So he's never seen the sun. He doesn't have no sugar in him. No salt. So he's healthy. Fuck sun. He doesn't have no sugar in him. No salt. So he's healthy. Fuck yeah. And his whole body. I've been waiting for the silver lining here without prison and there it is.

Yeah. His whole body was women doing sexual shit. His tattoos. Yeah. And I just be like, and I remember he'd always be like, he goes, yeah, homie, fuck it. The only person I love is my mom. He ain't fucked that shit. My mom's been visiting me since I was 10.

This fool told me he used to fuck ham when he was little in juvenile hall. The ham hock? Yeah. He was like, you just got to cut a hole, put butter in there, eh? He's putting butter. And then the funniest shit he goes, yeah, he was like, I like fat bitches. When I get out with the fat bitch because they smell like those hams this dude is fucked up

did i even tell you about the time that i seen a prison guard that i was locked up with at a fucking show that i was at i don't know I don't remember it. Downey. Doing an underground comedy show. One of the prison guards was there. He remember you? He just goes, hey, you're George Perez? I said, yeah. And he goes,

you remember me? And I was like, nah, you like a fan or something? And he just went like, show me his gun. He goes, hey man, I have to let you know that you were in my prison.

I have to leave, dog, but I'm just letting you know that I'm strapped. And I was like, homie, I go up next. He didn't know you were in my prison. I have to leave dog, but I'm just letting you know that I'm strapped. And I was like, homie, I go up next. He didn't know you were a comic. I was like,

I'm going on stage. Is that really what they have to do legally? Oh, I didn't know that. So I don't think they have to tell you, but he was just more like, cause he see me there at the group of people. And I was just like,

fuck, that must be a hard job. Also to remember everybody. I feel like the turnover is pretty motherfucking high. Yeah. No, you'll remember, bro. You'll remember. So he was strapped in.

Did he watch you? No. No, he left. Yeah, because I probably told in his head, he goes, fuck, they know I'm a cop. I see. Yeah. That would blow his cover. Yeah.

I think that's the hardest job ever a cop imagine that you have to wear a camera to work yeah and it records everything you do and say i wouldn't this is hard enough this hour is hard enough to say shit not to get canceled yeah yeah i couldn't imagine that yeah fuck that all right so now you do three years did you do all three? Since it was a violent crime, you have to do 85% of your time. So I did two years and nine months. All right, so talk to me about getting out.

What is it like that week leading up to getting out? They give you a ducat. It's called the S ducat. Because when you're in prison, you have a card. And that card lets you know where you're supposed to be. So between 1 o'clock and 2 o'clock, George is allowed to be by the cafeteria because he works there. He's allowed to go to yard at this time because he doesn't have no work. So they give you an S ducat that's letting all the cops know, oh, you're going home in two weeks.

Okay, cool. Yeah, go. You know what I mean? Like, you don't have to go to work no more. I don't the cops know. Oh, you're going home in two weeks. Okay, cool. Yeah, go. You know what I mean? Like, you don't have to go to work no more. I don't have to work. Look, this is why. Because if you don't go to work, they'll fucking give you more time or like they'll give you this. Any fuck up is more time, right?

It's called a 115. It's like a, what's that shit called? Cops, a citation. called cops a citation and uh i just remember man my my real close homie in those last months was some guy named little man solid as fuck he he just he's doing 18 years he was locked up since he was 15 for murder and he was just like hey dog you're representing us like when you go out there now you don't have to be this gangster be you But you don't have to be hitting fools up blasting like go out there. Let the world know where you were funny We have a sense of humor. Let them know that gangsters

Homies troll those Chicanos like we can we're funny dog And I was kind of like like everybody was cheering for me bro. It was kind of cool man, but that fucking walk I'll never forget that day. I got at least kind of cool man but that fucking walk i'll never forget that day i got released what do you do now you don't sleep are you okay go back to my first question the first night you finally did sleep were you by yourself because the dude was out of the cell or did you have to sleep with this dude i had to sleep with them for like two weeks what is that like it's weird bro is it loud or is it quiet it's quiet as a motherfucker there's a penalty for talking after there is oh yeah and so how do people communicate is it quiet whisper is it notes bagging for like how do you

talk to your cellmate there's no whispering at all it'll you they'll hear it huh yeah so you just pass a little letter under but there's really you're really not even trying to do that right you don't want to bring no attention to yourself. Are they walking by or are there cameras everywhere? There's cameras and they're walking by. In the cell, there's cameras too? No, outside. Got it. And yeah, there's no pillow.

There's no pillow? I guess not. I mean, that is a luxury, I guess, huh? Especially there because, yeah, fuck, man. All right, so now the week you're going out you can't sleep you're so fucking excited are they letting visits happen during that week or is it like now you'll be home i mean visits are assigned to you through like you have a a correction a number they give you mine was f99587 and those last three numbers are are like everyone gets a week in the month so i had the third week of the month and my shit already passed as i got released

i got released the day before thanksgiving it's all holiday based yeah christmas eve and then the day before thanksgiving all right so what what happens? Thanksgiving Eve to me, honest to God, it's a great night. Fuck, yeah. It can be a great night. Damn, dude, you're making me like almost tear up right now. Who picks you up? I'll get to that. Everyone's sad, dog.

They don't want you to leave. Fools are like, where are you going, homie? I got a year left. Do it with me'm like i can't dog like i gotta go and i just remember like this is where you people know who you are everything you said what are you going to be accountable so i told everyone hey i had jordans in there i had levi's nice jacket clean undershirt so i go home i said i went up to everybody i said look here's that jacket i promised here's that watch here's it i go because when i leave here i can get all this shit you guys can't here's my radio here's my tv i left everything and people were like get down homie get down and then I remember just having the bomb ass dinner.

I didn't sleep, bro. I was just chilling with my homeboy little man. And we're just talking. And he's just like, hey, dog, what are you going to do? And I was like, I don't know. I'm scared. Were you? Yeah.

I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. Is that what you were scared about? I didn't even know where I was going to live. The girl was like, hey, if you find a a job Within three days I'll let you live with me I was like what Three days Did you feel me Yeah

And There's always rumors that people are like Hey folks some folks have beef on you This is what I wanted to ask you Is there truth to the people Want to fucking trip you up And try i wanted to ask you is there truth to the people want to fucking trip you up and try to sweat you before you go out so they i've seen it happen to people i've seen it happen yeah where fools are like no you owe money you're not going nowhere oh okay and i was just

like i don't know no money and that's when the car's like perez bump. And I was like, I ain't gonna lie. I wanted to run. Cause I didn't want to walk through that. And they're like, it was like, Hey, come here. Give me a hug.

Give me a hug. Give me a hug. Fuck you, homie. Hey, here's my address. All right. Oh yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you have to walk the whole prison. You have your little brown bag tore up ass clothes. I took whatever was worse. Cause they have mail outs. Your family tore up ass clothes. I took whatever was worse because they have mail outs. Your family mails you clothes you can wear when you leave. And then I'm in a cell like this big.

It's a wire. It's a wire cell with a chain fence. And they were like, hey, you're going to go home in two hours. There's a black guy in there. There's an Asian in there. There's a black guy in there there's an asian in there there's a white guy in there i'm pretty sure you guys ain't gonna fight he's like what do you want to do you want to be by yourself in the closet or you want to go in that cell i said i'm cool i'll go in the cell i'm going home you know put my clothes on and shit comedy club would give you.

That's some shit. You've been doing nothing but time. Yeah. And, you know, everything runs through your head, bro. My daughter was the most precious thing I wanted to see because like when i wasn't my girlfriend was pregnant when i went to prison so i didn't even get to see my daughter be born man really i met my daughter on my birthday on the first prison visit i ever had wow how old was she at that time days weeks six seven months. Months? Okay. What was that like?

It was crazy, dude. But she was so attached to me. Did they let you hold her? Yeah, yeah. You can hold her in prison. Okay, I didn't know that. Yeah. And so you're waiting, bro. You're just like, hey, dog.

You guys said I could leave. Why am I still in this? We waited for two hours. And then finally they were like, I remember talking to my girlfriend the day before she's like hey we're gonna be in the parking lot in this car and like they open a fucking fence and they're like all right it is like that on that big slide yeah oh and they're like look you cannot hang out in this fucking parking lot you cannot be because there's there's houses by my prison like there's like it's it's society civilians there's a park across the street that's crazy yeah but everybody knows when

you escape you don't kick it you go yeah so they ain't scared and uh oh i just remember like all right cool man and then they open the next gate and they're like hey find your family and get the fuck out of here or get in our van we'll take you to the greyhound and you can go somewhere and i don't know where my my girlfriend's like hey hey oh dog it's crazy like you get in the car and shit of course you cry and shit i'm all crying and shit oh my god you're home you're free and i was like yeah yeah you know i go please can we leave can we leave is your daughter there too she bring your daughter your son too no my sons and then they're like not because they didn't when my sons would visit me they're like hey dad i don't like the visits they strip search you they got guns on top like

why they strip search the people coming in everybody they do right yeah sure and they're like i'm like yeah don't go through this shit no more. I just remember being on the freeway and my girlfriend was tripping because I was like, hey, is it okay if I roll the one? Because I'm used to asking someone to do. She's like, why the fuck are you asking me to roll the one down? And I was like scared. That's interesting. Yeah.

How long did it take you to transition out of that sort of mentality? I don't know. Maybe a year. Yeah. And she was like hey we're gonna go to your my brother was watching my son from i have two other sons one of them lives with his mom my other son lived with his brother and we just went over there and they were like oh dad and it's crazy for a lot of crying a lot of like like, hey, I'm sorry. And then they took me to Disney Walk and I almost fucking lost it. Hey, and I'm ripped, dog.

I was doing like. Yeah, you're in bad shape of your life. Yeah. And I'm fucking over there at fucking Disney Walk. Sure enough, motherfuckers are rude, stepping on my shoes. There's people on my, and then my sons just hug me dad dad dad dad dad shit i was just like wait hey come here real quick you fucking just stepped on my shit homie for six and i remember the guy was like i'm pushing my stroller sorry

he was like excuse me it's crazy and then my son seen it. No, like, let's get the fuck out of here. I'm like, thank you. We went to a Mexican restaurant. I got drunk off one beer. Yeah, I bet your tolerance is not. Yeah.

And amen. Let me ask you this. How long before you really were able to, like, let your shoulders down? You know, not just finally. I don't know if i have yet i've i've taught the guys in prison they say it's something they never do no i've not they they i've i've taught the guys that were like if you see a dude it's always like this he's probably served time and i'm like that's interesting you just never really can yeah drop all the way i mean at the house yeah but like but

still there's always check this out i haven't kicked it with the black dude in three years and my homeboy steven fly he was like yo player i heard you're out yeah he was just like yo you want a cigarette i'm like yeah but i can't smoke after you like i just i've been taught these rules he was like man shut your ass up dog i'm just like hey hold me and i'm uncomfortable right now please he was just like oh shit like it was hey bro it was weird man like i didn't yeah when did you first do comedy after you were out how long three months three months what was that like well i did it how can i say this russell peters is so dope yeah he is he's coming done done the show he's yeah you know he found out he was just like yo uh you want to do nokea theater oh my god are you telling me you went from prison to doing theaters like that with russell you went from like a six by six self with no kia theater holy shit that's a mind right there i know three months out of prison you're doing no shows like that i did a show

with him three weeks and then i got scared out of prison yeah i did the laugh factory he was like hey come come and i was like all right and then he was like hey we're doing nokia theater and i was kind of like it wasn't enough that wasn't around before i got locked up no it wasn't and i was like the phone company has a nokia has a theater and then uh yeah that was some shocking ass shit I got scared and I'm a I'm ripped I have a model body and Russell's like hey

here's an outfit for the show so guess who's at the show in the green room Alyssa Milano no I got pictures dog uh the original mystique the girl Melissa Milano. No. I got pictures, dog. The original Mystique. The girl. Fuck it.

Rebecca Romijn Stamos. Stamos, yeah. Stamos. Rosoli. The Rosoli. The girls from Rosoli Files on TNT Show. I don't know that. And yeah, dog.

And like, I just remember like being hit on by successful people and Russell going, hey, this fool was stabbing people two months ago. Yeah. Yeah. And then like after that, my girlfriend got real jealous and she was just like, hey, I don't think you should be going out. You're on parole. Like I broke parole because I wasn't allowed to leave.

I could only be, like, 50-mile radius. And also, are you allowed to be in a place that has alcohol and live entertainment that's not violating parole? Yeah. No, parole, I wasn't a drug offender or nothing. Got it. They were just, like, they would search my house for weapons, and I couldn't be around another parolee. And, yeah, but fucking Russell, dog. That shit was dope.

Yeah. That's what a 360. Yeah. I should say 180. Yeah. God damn. And then Joey Diaz was finally like, hey, bro. I mean.

I'm doing the Brea Improv. I only live 10 minutes from there. And he was like, you want to come do a quick 10 minutes? Full makes me headline when I get there. And he was just like, hey, bro, I know what you're going through, George. Break out of this shit. Break. Stop.

He's like, your wife's going to try to make you do construction, all this shit. No, you're a fucking comedian. Remember, like, in Kill Bill, where he's telling her, her bitch you're over here trying to get married to a record guy you're a killer this is what you do joey sent me back out and i was like you know what thanks though you're right you're right because i i sucked those first 50 minutes on stage and then the cop the comic came out and he was like fuck this shit go off the top now start and then i was like it felt good again you know because when i did I did a Russell show, I went over all my old jokes. I didn't even test myself.

And they're all going to laugh. They thought I was Indian and shit. They did. I was dressing Russell's expensive ass. He got me like a Gucci outfit. And I was like, they're like, oh, shit, this full Indian too? That's great, man.

Yeah. What a story, dude. Thank you for coming on here and sharing. I'm sure that was, wasn't easy to talk about some of that stuff, man. Thank you.

Nah, man. I'm glad though, bro. I'm glad you're out. I'm glad you changed and made a difference. Joey, Red Band,

like you guys, I don't ever talk like this to my kids or nothing. I don't want them to know. Now they're going to know because they watch. Thanks, man. Like, hey, dog. It's good, man. You know, there's a lot of talented people that are in prison, bro.

I was locked up with a guy. And remember that show Snow on Fox? There's a show on Fox. John Singleton directs it. It's huge. That fool was in my prison dorm. One of the main actors. Oh, really? Yeah, it. It's huge. That fool was in my prison dorm. One of the main actors. Oh, really?

Yeah, but. Yeah, right. He was in the riot that I was in, so we don't talk. Love your show, man, but fuck you. Dude, promote whatever you'd like one more time, please. George Perez, follow me on Twitter,

Instagram, any network, Georgeorge p comedy i got a podcast called george perez stories every tuesday night at 9 15 we drop an episode i'm on tour with fools gone wild and funk freaks and ladies only only over the age of 44 send nudes. That's great, dude. All right. As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryanickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week. you