The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - George Stroumboulopoulos - StromboDew

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

My HoneyDew this week is broadcaster, George Stroumboulopoulos! (The Strombo Show) George Highlights the Lowlights of his father leaving when he was 7 and being raised by a single immigrant mother. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail]  SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips  SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187   SPONSORS: Rocket Money -Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com  Mindbloom -Get $100 off your first six sessions when you go to https://www.Mindbloom.com/podcast/honeydew  Dad Grass -Go to https://www.DadGrass.com/HONEYDEW for 20% off your first order

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We are over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I am Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And I want to start every episode like I start every episode. This one's no different. Thank you very much for your support.

I cannot thank you guys enough, man. You really, all the messages I get, I start my sets like this too. I'm beyond blown away by how this show helps so many people. I had no idea. I get it now. And I want you to genuinely know you're doing the same thing for me. So thank you very much. All right. If you are watching right now, please hit that subscribe button. It's a free way to help the show. If you've got to have more, then you've

got to check out the Patreon. I'll never stop telling you about it. It is the honeydew with y'all and I highlight the lowlights with y'all and y'all have the wildest. I've said it. We just talked to a guy who died for three and a half minutes because a pickup truck pushed him down in a foot and a half of water and he couldn't get out and he died in his friend's fucking arms. They're holding his legs. Yeah. And three and a half minutes and they fucking give him CPR and bring the dude back to life. It's absolutely crazy. It's $5 a month. You sign up for a year. You get over a month free. You get the honeydew a day early, audio and video.

You get it ad-free, and it's at no additional cost. It's $5, all right? Now, that's the biz. You guys know what we're doing over here. We're highlighting the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers, and I am very excited to have this guest on here today, first time on the Honeydew.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome George Strombolopoulos. Welcome to The Honeydew, bro. Did I get it? Perfect, man. You nailed it. It's the last time I'm saying it. Listen, it's more than most people can say, so I appreciate it. Dude, thank you so much for being here.

I'm happy to be here. I think what you do is really important. Life is about showing other people they're not alone, And sometimes you can't just say you're not alone. Sometimes they have to pick up on that themselves by hearing stories and finding their way into it. And I think that this podcast and your storytelling does that. Dude, thank you so much, man. I'm dying to talk to you, but before we do, please plug, promote everything and anything you'd like. I got a daily music show on Apple Music Hits, which is for free on your phone. If you subscribe to Apple Music, you can get me on demand

at a whole bunch of documentaries and specials we do. But yeah, that's where I am Monday to Friday, about 165 countries around the world. And I love sharing music and telling stories about the artists who make it. I got to connect you. Do you know Josh Adam Myers? Only by name.

Oh, no. He does a podcast called The 500 where he does the Rolling Stones top 500. But he's a musical comedian as well. It's a very controversial list, that 500. It's already changed. Listen, I said, Josh, that's a 10-year podcast. He's called me.

He's like, they changed the list. I'm like, what do you do now? Do you stick to the old list? It's the 1,000. I stick to the old list. Well, thank you for being here. Thank you. But I really wanted to talk to you about – because you saw the Gen X thing I did with Christina.

So you just told me before we came on, you turned 50. So you're right in that Gen X window. Right there. I grew up in a neighborhood in Toronto. Tell me about your life, please. A couple of different neighborhoods that were what you would call the compromised neighborhoods. I loved them. Growing up, first kid in my family, born in Canada, immigrant family in a neighborhood of immigrants. It's the thing that I identify the

most with is my neighborhoods more than even the city of the country. Where's your family from? So my dad is born and that side of the family are all from Egypt, but they're Greek descent. And my mom's Ukrainian, born in Poland. So Strombolopoulos Greek is your father. You got it and kept it. Totally. And even though- You don't even try to shorten it or anything. Nah, man. My family split up when I was seven, my old man split. And when he left, there were people in my family that shortened the versions of the name. I think when my mom put me into high school, she had a shortened version of the name, Strombolos. And I was like, nah, I ain't doing that. Strombolopoulos is my name. It's also-

How many letters is it? 17, dude. I couldn't spell it till I was in grade five, fifth grade. I couldn't spell it. Seriously. I just, I didn't know how to do it. I didn't think I'd't doing that. Strombolopoulos is my name. It's also- How many letters is it? 17, dude. I couldn't spell it till I was in grade five, fifth grade. I couldn't spell it. Seriously, I didn't know how to do it. I didn't think I'd ever need to. 17. 17, it's a thing. But like I said, I come from a city and a neighborhood of immigrants, and I think the

ethnicity is a defining factor for me and my Gen X friends. How far does it get on a credit card? It doesn't always go. So usually the last couple of letters. My very brief non-illustrious stint in the military they couldn't fit the whole thing in so yeah so there's different versions i like that you're like no this is my fucking heritage and master cards like that you're strombala that's right totally when i started radio i went to work in a small town in british columbia one of my first legal jobs in radio and somebody said to

me like you got to change your name because that ethnic stuff might fly in Toronto, but it doesn't work here. And I couldn't come up with a nickname. I tried to confuse him and call myself George Jefferson. That was going to be my radio name thinking they wouldn't catch on. They caught on. And then they just showed up, called me by my initials. But as soon as I got to Toronto, it was like, no, no, my name is Strombolopoulos. Don't be afraid of the ethnicity. Let's roll with it. So yeah, that's it. But yeah, your Gen X video made me laugh. And when I shared it on my social medias, the response to it was huge. And what I really loved was the split.

Whole bunch of people were vouching for it. Then a bunch of people were saying, that screwed us up. And I'm like, that's your story. It didn't screw me up. I'm grateful for it. Also, they're like, you all raised, no, I didn't.

I had a kid when I was 41. That's it. You know what I mean? I don't even know what this generation, my daughter's right. I didn't. I had a kid when I was 41. That's it. You know what I mean? I'm raising – I don't even know what this generation of my daughter is. I didn't fuck these kids up. She'd be an alpha, I guess, your kid. Generation alpha? What is that called?

I think they're alphas. Is that right? Alphas? Starting over again? I don't know, man. That's a fucking – that's a slippery slope to be naming kids that shit. It's a pressure. That's going to get to them.

No, totally. But I love the thing because I really did feel like what I was able to do as a kid, my mom encouraged it was with the go outside thing was go, go be bored and figure it out. Yeah. Figure it out. She didn't endanger me. I don't think they knew what the city was, but my mom, I think it was 19 or 20 when she had me, she was a kid too. So they were doing the best they could. So the concept of a helicopter parent was, I knew kids who had that.

That was not my life. And you're right, just wandering in, wandering out. I'd go a week sometimes without seeing my mom when I was 16, 17 years old. And I'd bump into her at the bus stop. She'd be like, hey, you ever coming home? I am. Love you.

Good to see you. And I'll see you in a bit. I was working since I was 11. And I know that backfired for a lot of people, but it didn't backfire for me. I'm so grateful. I'm so durable and resilient. The hustle that it puts in you instills into the work ethic that instills. I also think that it's interesting. You said, go figure it out. It just made me start thinking like, how many people don't have hobbies anymore?

Yeah. You know, we didn't have a phone in our hand or anything. You go outside, next thing you know, you're fucking looking at butterflies or birds or whatever. You're like, oh, I fucking like butterflies. Totally. Or fishing or whatever it was. I used to fish.

I used to draw. I used to do all this stuff. Yeah, you had to go do something. Do something. And I recognize that that version of our childhood was probably very dangerous for a bunch of people. And I think we got lucky. A lot of us didn't make it.

No, a lot of us didn't make it. A lot of Gen X out there did not make it. Totally. And so I don't ever want to gloss over how traumatic it was for people. But what I've always been raised to do is not blame my parents or their parents or their parents because they didn't have access to the tools that everybody has now. It's really easy to sit back and say, my mom did this or my dad did this. There were kids in a system that was crushing them. Jobs were going away. All this stuff. War.

War. Vietnam at that time for my father's age. Yeah, for US. Totally. And wave of immigrants into Canada. So I don't hold them accountable for the stuff they didn't have access to. It's just, I know other people do and I wouldn't like, you do your thing. But for me, I would never do it. And also, I just love the fact that you said it and you laughed. My favorite part was try not to get kidnapped.

Yeah. Because that was actually a thing. Kidnapped, molested, arrested, all the ads. That was the thing. If you grew up in poor neighborhoods, that's where the government would put the sex offenders. So it was a dodge game to get from the bus home when you're eight. You were running. I had to get from the bus home when you're eight, you were running.

I had to run from people. And when you said it, it just brought back a whole bunch of memories of shit. We'd be playing baseball, man, in Sandlot Park in Rexdale, where I grew up, and a van would pull up on the grass in the outfield. And we'd be like, fuck, run. Yeah. Hell yeah. I'd never had anything like that. Some guy would be like, hey, what are you doing? We're fucking running. Holy shit, on the ground. Yeah, because that's where the sex offenders went, man.

That's what they do. Yeah, so I was like, you know what, man? I think it was all bad, and I wish everybody was raised differently, but it worked for me. I'm grateful for it. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's jump back to you said seven your dad left. All right, do you see him? Are you split custody or he just bounced?

He bounced when I was seven. I was home. I watched him leave. I think you said he was coming back. Your only child? No, younger sister. She was four, so I don't think she really knew what was happening so much. But you're watching him, what, grab his shit and walk out?

Yeah, I watched him put on a suit so he wouldn't have to get wrinkled in suitcase and put it in. Suit? He went out in a suit? In a pale blue suit, in a suit in a pale blue suit like a 70s era pale blue suit looked dope by the way i was gonna say that is a hell of an i had a matching one when i was five that's a sad beautiful i was sitting on my front porch and i watched him leave um and that was it and then i think he came back is it better that he left like that than in like a wife beater smoking a cigarette and shit?

Yeah, right. With a pillowcase and shit. Totally. And it was a bit, you know, it's one of those things where I watch my dad. Is he telling you though? Is he saying, hey, I'm leaving? No, he didn't. But I knew.

I mean, I knew that there was some drama with him and my mom and he was leaving. Was your mom there when he left? I don't think she was. Or at least you don't remember seeing her. I don't remember. She might've been in the house. And he's just like, I'm out. And that was it? He was it, man. So I saw him, I think I've seen him maybe four or five times in the 43 years since he left.

Yeah, yeah. So when, when was the first time from seven to when was the first time? I think he came back. I don't remember exactly, but I think he came back roughly when I was 11 for them to finalize the divorce. Then I didn't see him again until maybe I was 18. Then I saw him once in my- What was that like? Do you remember? I mean, you're technically a man at that point, right? Of your own. You know what it was? That first time I saw him and the last time I saw him, both happened the exact same way. He moved to the States. He moved to Florida. So I just happened to go to Florida. And I thought, God, I think my dad lives near here. So I found out where my dad lived and I just showed up to say, hey. How did you?

Hell yeah. What was that like? He wasn't home, but his wife was freaked. And she said. Why? Do you look just like him? No, I look young and tough. And she thought I was there to get her son.

That is hilarious. She's like, she wouldn't open the door. And I said, I'm, uh, I'm, I'm my dad, Mark, I'm Mark's kid. And she got really shaken. She said, he's going to be at the bowling alley tonight. And I'm like, all right, I'll show up there. So I bumped into him there. He, he got freaked out when he saw me. He knew you were coming though, prop. She didn't tell him. Yeah. Yeah. And much respect to her for that. That's interesting. She didn't tell him. Uh, and then the last time I saw him, the same thing happened.

But I feel badly for my dad because he didn't know what I did for a living. So he doesn't know what I look like. So he told me that he was watching a TV show that I was the host of and he saw my name on it. And he's like, that's so weird. That's my dad's name. Cause I'm named after my grandfather, the Greek tradition. And. He didn't even know what you look like.

No, I look like. He saw his son on TV and was like, oh, we have that name. Totally. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, yeah, which was a trip for him. That's what he told me. And then, again, I saw him years later. Actually, I saw him maybe five or, I can't, I think that might've been the last time I

saw him. And I just happened to be in Florida and I walked by him and he knew I was coming. And I said, hey man. And he's like, hey, how you doing? And he walked by me because he doesn't know what I look like. I had a big beard. So it's harder for him than it is for me. In fact, it was never hard for me.

And this is what I'm super grateful. Like my mom's a G. Like my mom was like that, that kind of person that you think if you were ever going to be born into a rough situation, you need that kind of mom. I had that mom. She told me when I was seven, you will never grow up with daddy issues. She used that phrase. She said, it doesn't matter that he's gone.

The cavalry ain't coming. People can love you and and leave it's complicated um it's not his fault damn your mom told you people can love you and leave it's complicated yep oh yeah that's fucking great advice dude my mom my mom did that gave me chills yeah she really like saved my life and i wish somebody would have told me that before she did i grew up with no sense of abandonment yeah but also when no one tells you that that is a you think that like what the fuck they just go yeah like oh yeah that's what happens no one gives you a heads up no and she said the cavalry ain't coming this is this is it right and i thought but the thing my mom did was lead with love and i think that's the thing i learned through all the weird and crazy traumatic things and good things in my life is that what really mattered is love and your job is irrelevant.

I don't even remember any time in my life. You are not your job. Not at all. Yeah. I don't even think anybody in my family ever asked what I wanted to do for a living that I can recall because in my family, we got jobs. My grandmother wanted me to be a bus driver. We don't have careers. That's not the world I come from. So the fact that this is my career and I got so lucky to be here with you and do the things I've been able to do, my family never really valued that.

They valued what kind of man will you grow up to be. And I've tried to honor it. Got it wrong a bunch of times. But I've tried to be the guy that they wanted. And I'm grateful for it. My mom did a lot of that little shit. That was super. Your mom was mom and dad then.

My mom was mom and dad then. My mom was mom. It's interesting that she's stepping outside of her motherly nature and giving you some paternal shit too. A young, like a teenager. I think when my dad split, my mom was 24, 25. She was a cocktail waitress. She had no education. She had only been in the country for like 10 years. She, maybe a little longer she

figured it out i had a great family like my grandmother my uncle my aunt were epic and those were her family her family yeah and everybody we did what those families did you just come together and family was above all family was above all and how you treat people was above my i remember man my mom because i lived in a pretty rough neighborhood, my mom saw me going down the wrong path. She would write a poem on the back of a movie poster. I worked at a movie theater. So she'd write a poem on the back of a movie poster that I had taken from the theater, stuck it on the back of my front door of my house and wouldn't let me leave the house. She'd put her arm around me and she'd say, say it out loud, say it out loud. And I'd have to repeat the poem every time I left.

Do you remember some of it? I have to live with myself and so. I have to live with myself and what? I have to live with myself and so. I want to be fit for myself to know. I have to sit with the setting sun and not hate myself for things I have done. I want to watch as the days go by and be able to look the world straight in the eye. Dude.

Damn. Preteen, teen, young man. Who the fuck's your young man your mom fucking legend dude my mom's a legend and so not boohooing about this man that left or just being like hey this is life and now i saw her when he first left i saw how scary my mom was sure i saw her cry and i remember what you didn't see was her cave break and collapse. You saw her rise up. Rise up. Dude. Yeah.

My mom's a G. What more could you ask for from a parent? Totally. That's why I kind of look around and people go, oh, you don't have a dad. I'm like, dude, I didn't need one. And I have no ill will towards my pops. I hope he's grand. Yeah.

I wanted to go back to that real quick. So 18 and he sees you in a bowling alley or whatever. What is that like? What do you ask? You sit down and ask him questions? Are you – No. But you're comfortable enough with what mom's given you and the love that you don't need to be like, why did you leave or anything?

It's nothing like that. Never. Just sort of picking up where you are at that moment. Yeah. How are you? Right. How are you? I'm good.

Tell me about your life a little bit. What are you doing? Cool. Great. Very chill. And what was he? What job was he? What did he do? I don't even know what he did. He was, he worked in the Ford assembly line. It's kind of why I look at it with my dad with a generous heart because he was a young guy, two kids working

the Ford assembly line. He looked down the road, his dad worked on the Ford assembly line plant. That was my future. And I think he probably just got freaked. He's like, this is my life. And he probably panicked. Do you have any other other does he have any other children that are half siblings or anything here's the weird part about this so when he left my family and he went down to raise a family he had three sons that were my age so he ended up just transferring one family for another oh he got stepson he had stepson said he had to raise at the same time yeah so he didn't get out of being yeah no he didn't get out of being, yeah. No, he didn't get out of being a dad. And that never bothered you that he went and did that with some other kids and not you guys?

I don't know if it's conditioning or my wiring, but I've never required closure. And I've never valued forgiveness for the sake of it. Forgiveness usually is just something to make that person feel better. I don't require it. My whole thing is if you're going to make a choice, own it. I'm cool with it. I just don't have the wiring to worry. I think it's because I think life's so short. I just don't want to have, I don't want anything to have any power over me, which is probably how I compartmentalized when I was a kid. I kind of went, oh, if this is out of my control, what I can control is my way through it. Right.

It's interesting you say that about the forgiveness because I, what I know now was a mistake. It was around 2006 and my mother had like abandoned our family and we hadn't talked in years. And I decided that it was time to just call this person and say, I forgive you, which I did. And it did nothing. For you. For any, it didn't move the needle in one way. And then I really had to think about it and I was like, huh. And I had a therapist tell me one time, you can't give forgiveness to someone who isn't asking for it. They don't even, they're like, forgive me for what? Right.

And I realized that it was what I was doing without realizing it was, that was for me. Yeah. That was for me. Yeah. That was for me. Totally. And it did nothing for another 10, 12 – 10 years. Another 10 years before we really started talking. But that was all because I had a daughter. Right.

And that's what brought that about. But I did realize that. I was like, you just tried to forgive someone. It doesn't give you a fuck. They probably don't even think they did anything wrong. Yeah. Well, no. She does though. But but wait so she was like okay were you raised by your old man or another up until we were 16 and then he died so after that it was nobody bro yeah that's a that's why i'm saying that whole gen x

thing my dad was the same way my dad's like i'm not always going to be here i'm working a double tonight figure out how to cook for yourself take care of you i showed you how to do the grill make sure that grass is cut when i come home i showed you how to do the lawnmower don't fuck this shit up totally my mom taught me how to darn a sock how to cook how to change the oil darn us yeah like you had a hole in your sock instead of going by no it's like she taught me how to fix the hole no she taught me how to change oil in my car how to change tires when i was young my mom taught you how to fucking change oil rotates right if car, how to change tires when I was young. Your mom taught you how to fucking change oil, rotate tires. Fucking right. If everyone knew how to do that, we would never have traffic.

Totally. Basic car maintenance. Basic car maintenance. Change the oil, change the tires. She taught me how to cook. She taught me how to dance. Damn. We'd be cooking and she would put, she put a song on.

I was like 10. She put a song on the boom box while we were waiting for the water to boil. She would teach me how to dance. She said, so somebody could dance with me at a wedding. Like we would just have, like she taught me all these things, but you know what she taught me more is the things she didn't know she was doing.

I watched her get up at five o'clock in the morning. Her first job was to deliver a newspaper. So I would help her put the newspapers together. She would then come home from that. We'd have breakfast. I'd go to school with my sister. She would then go and work at a shitty greasy spoon Greek restaurant

where the men were harassing her and being awful, but she would do it. Then she would come back for lunch, and then she would put herself through nursing college to try to get to become a nurse as assistant. All three doing this all at the same time, and we were living in a rooming house because to make ends meet, we had a home. She rented out all the rooms in the home, so my sister and her and I shared one or two rooms as we grew up. So I grew up around all these strangers. What was that like? Dope, because I was always growing up learning about other people's lives. And I think one of the big things that gets people in trouble, I'm not a doctor, so I don't know, but anecdotally what I think fucks people up is not life, but life versus expectations. So I never grew up thinking I was in a tough spot. Yeah, you lived in a rooming house. What I thought growing up was you do what you got to do to make

it work. So I never walked around thinking I was poor. I knew I was growing up. I remember watching a news story with my mom one night saying, they were talking about what the poverty line was. The poverty line was like the household income was $15,000 a year for a family. And I said to my mom, how much do we, what's our household income? And she told me the number, and it was way under that. And I went, oh, so like we're way below the poverty line. She says, yeah, but do you feel it? And I said, no. She says, because what you need is love, And I said, no. She says, because what you need is love, community, and also we figure it out. And so I watched my mother teach me at a very young age, not through lessons, but really through actions, which is, it doesn't matter what happens to you. It sucks. And you can choose to focus on

that or we can figure it out. And it, because the system isn't going to be there for you. Now I grew up to think I'm going to fight to try to change the system so that the people grow up after us don't have to deal with the bullshit we did. But at the same time, I'm grateful that I was basically raised to be a warrior. She, my mom didn't know she's a peace loving woman. She didn't, she's a hardcore Christian of which I'm not. And she raised me to be a warrior. So more importantly than the, the word she passed passed or that, the leading by example that you watched is what resonates with you. Totally.

And it's hard. That's good to hear. Because I always think like I could be telling my kid more, doing more. But the fact that she sees her dad at the games, gets up every day and goes to work, takes care of his fucking business like that. Yeah, you're right. That matters, man. It does. Because I don't think, I think human beings are inherently closed to being

told what to do. It's like a violation of our independence. It's why I rejected school so much. Show me what to do and I'll follow that lead if I feel like it works for me. It's how I, it's how I got through all the shit I got through. I don't even think I ever had a conversation with my mother once about my feelings. Really? Like ever. I feel like that would be the woman that would be able to, yeah. Yeah, she's just like, we can't. But we just don't.

She's hyper secretive. My mom is such a gangster. She's still alive. She's still alive. What my mom does is, my mom was a nurse and she quit being a nurse because she, even though we needed the money. So she really did do it. She got through college. And put herself and became a nurse.

Became a nurse's assistant. Fuck yeah. And then she left the job because she felt that the doctors were over prescribing medication and she felt it was a violation of her principles. So she quit. She gets a job assigning nurses like for just a company. And then my mom leaves that. And my mom's full-time job today is she's a gangster missionary. So if you come to Toronto, you're a refugee, you need someone to help you out.

You get my mom's number. She sets you up. I've come home and my furniture's gone from my home because she took it and gave it to a family. Somebody new who came to Canada. She says, this person needed this. I'll get you one down the road. Like my mom is all about you.

You are only in service of others. This is my mom's way of living out the social gospel. As much as so many Christians drive me crazy in the public space, certainly in politics. I'm like, why don't y'all learn from my mom? That's how you live the gospel. So my mom is like, yeah, she's, we don't agree on a lot, but she is,

I just watched her. Your core values are the same. Totally. And I didn't need to talk about feelings because what I knew was I got love. I can figure this out on my own. Not everybody can go do it how you have to do it. What worked for me won't work for everybody else. But I watched, I watched how to process trauma by watching my mom do it.

So then how did you implement that in your life growing up without a dad and being out on the streets by yourself? Like what's, are you a good student? Are you getting in trouble? Are you getting arrested? Are you, you know,

what were you like? I have been arrested. But she didn't know until later. She might not know until somebody tells her. She's still going to get in trouble. She has been there when the police have come over. I have said the thing. Come over. Yeah have said the same. Come over.

Yeah, yeah. Like they're company. That did happen to me one or two times as a kid. No, you know what, man? I was a terrible student. I hated school. I had a teacher hit me once in school. Hit you.

On purpose, but he was right though. He hit me with a textbook and he says, you're smarter than this. This is stupid. These marks suck. And I said to him, you know, I don't care about this. But I actually didn't mind that he hit me with a textbook and he says, you're smarter than this. This is stupid. These marks suck. And I said to him, you know, I don't care about this, but I actually didn't, I wouldn't mind that he hit me. I just thought we had that kind of relationship where he could, you know, be a fucker. And I was cool with it. Um, cause I knew he had my best interest in heart. So to me, those kinds of words don't matter alone, context, subject versus target matters. That's why I love comedy that offends myself because I understand where it's

coming from. Right. My teachers that were pretty tough and, but I was a bad student. Didn't really care about school. Didn't have a plan. Didn't think of this for a living. I just got kicked.

I wanted to be an artist and an architect, but I got kicked out of art class because the teacher wouldn't let me in for no reason. She's like, can't come in. And I'm like, but you don't even know me. Did you have a look that she didn't like where you yeah basically a younger version of what you're seeing right now

you know earrings and i'd listen to a lot of really insane heavy metal and punk rock and so i guess they thought i was a trouble automatically yeah and maybe i was maybe i was so i can own up to my end of that but i was forced to graduate in ontario i needed to get an arts credit and in my school the only other arts credit was drama which was the last class I would have ever taken. I was shy. I was a fucker. I was never going to perform, but I took it. And then I got so lucky that the teacher who led that class looked at me and went, I got you and figured out. And so like later in high school, when I got kicked out of high school, I had a teacher. You got kicked out. I got kicked out of high school. I refused to adhere to the uniform. And also, they wanted me to go to a Catholic retreat.

And me as a young kid who's not going to any Catholic bullshit was like, yeah, I'm not doing that. And they said, well, you got to go. You can't come to class. So I got suspended. I was wearing some shoes I didn't like. But my teacher said to me, look, why don't you come to school anyway? And I'll mark you absent. The office will never know you were here, but you won't fall behind. And then when it comes time to write the exam, you'll be ready. And this is what this teacher

said to me. I had two other teachers. He went and spoke to them, got them to agree to that. And that's why I got through high school. So the three teachers were in cahoots to get you through high school? Get me through high school. And I'll tell you, man. That's fucking awesome. The grace of others, any one of us who's successful in this, in our whatever line of work, the grace of others. People have no reason to care, but choose to. That, like, I'm hyper grateful for that. Got me through school. Me too.

That shit gets me emotional. I'm like, you gave a fuck? You gave a fuck? My own mom did. Totally. Like, what do you give? And I'm like, whoa, thank you so much. Because it doesn't need to be family.

It just needs to be somebody. That gives a shit. That's what this show is, right? Yeah. Let somebody sit there who's watching this right now and they're making dinner and they're alone

or they're with somebody they don't want to be with and they feel alone and they're listening to you tell some stories and the people you bring on tell stories and for 10 minutes, an hour, two hours, they sit back and go, I get it. We're just planting seeds in people's brain and who knows what soil they have in their brain and what grows, but it's just to let everybody know. Who knows some kid out there, some guy, girl hears this show and then 10, 15 years on

the road, they do their own. It makes an impact. Yeah. It really matters. See, that's so, I was very lucky that, you know, my mom didn't really know what I was doing. We're not the kind of family that shares that kind of details. I remember my mom telling me once about, we were talking about this time that she had cancer and we were talking about this. And I sat back and I went, when did you have cancer? And she said.

I remember when I was bald. She said two years ago., it's just a couple of things that we could take care of, but it was fine. I went two years ago. She didn't want to chemo. She, she got disordered and went, you don't think you should tell your son two years ago. She goes, I didn't want to worry you. And I'm like, man, you are such an immigrant. Like my mom is such an OG immigrant where you don't tell her.

I didn't want to tell you I had cancer. I didn't want you to worry. That i'm like man you are such an immigrant like my mom is such an og immigrant you don't tell us i didn't want to tell you i had cancer i didn't want you to worry that's the one thing you tell everybody right yeah wow my mom was she raised me to believe you don't air your dirty laundry in public i when you asked me to do this that is immigrants my grandmother all italians they were all the same thing don't tell anyone your business we grew up in big italian neighborhood don't tell the doctors nothing i'm like like, how are they going to help me? I'm over here telling them I'm not taking any of this shit, but I'm taking all of it. They're misdiagnosing me because I'm over here not telling them anything. Totally.

Don't sign nothing. Don't sign nothing. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, hey, I want to do this. I think this is a good financial move. She goes, no. My mom's like that. And so, now, it was minor, but still, it was like, you don't really even tell somebody that.

But I looked at her, and I just said, God, you're a beauty. I look look at my mom and I think the best way I can describe her is my mom is the wilderness and all the things you would find in the wilderness, you find in this little blonde woman who is still the most important person in my life. And even though we battled a lot as a kid, because I was a problem, I was very rebellious. What's her name? First name? Mary. Mary. Mary. I call her Marushka. And whenever she gives me a hard time, I call her by her first name. And then I said, when you act like my manager, I'll call you by your name. Right. Yeah.

So I'm just so grateful that I had that. But she didn't know any of the stuff that was happening in my life. She still doesn't. She never remarried or did she? She did later. I also didn't find out for two years. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You came off as a cancer and a second husband and didn't tell you shit. Didn't tell me shit. You know how I found out? My sister called me and goes, did you know your mom's married? Your mom? Yeah, because that's what we say when she does crazy shit. I'm like, what do you mean

she's married? Yeah, I was going through the house and I found the marriage certificate. And I was like, cool. Funny. Did you know she was dating? I knew she had a guy that she really loved, but because she was super Christian, she, so my mom is a really interesting woman. She'll kill me for even telling the story because she doesn't want anybody to know anything about her. My mom is so interested in doing things the right way. There were some people in the family that were battling, battling some health issues and she, they were planning on

announcing it at this Christmas, tell everybody we'd all be very happy. But then the family was going through some tough times with some elderly people. My mom didn't want to take the light away from it. Didn't want to make it about her joy because there was some stuff we had to deal with. And she's like, I wanted to tell everybody once we got through this. I'm like, how do you not love that? How do you not respect that? That's my mom. My mom is just not about me. It's not about me it's not about you it's about us all right so let me ask you this then what's the um what's the most

disappointed your mom's ever been in you and how did she react you know what's funny man is i don't know if she's ever even so i'm wondering yeah because she seems like no matter what it is she takes it in stride yeah most angry she's ever been with you very angry my mom told me um if you end up in jail tonight tonight where were you going oh just in any night she told me this many times actually actually. Don't call me. She said, don't call me. If you get arrested, there's a high likelihood you did it. So sit in jail and learn your fucking lesson.

She didn't swear. But my mom said, don't call me. Like she said, you need to understand if you're going to go out there and make big man decisions, even though I was a boy, then pay the big man price. Yeah. out there make big man decisions even though i was a boy then pay the big man price yeah so she there were a couple of times where we would we would battle a lot over my rebellious sort of devil's music thing i was listening to a lot but a couple times we got some fights and i would use language i'm not proud of i was 13 but i still regret it i remember it and she would kick me out

of the house and she ever put hands on you oh yeah yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. When I was young. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. But not like, my mom wasn't a beater. I hear you. Yeah. But I've taken a spoon or two to the neck over the years, you know, growing up. You gotta be checked. Yeah. If you're like that, you're going to be checked. Totally. And you know what? You know, I got a couple of smacks, but I feel like I earned it. I deserved it. I understand that it's complicated now and people will write me back going, you never did. And I'm like, and that's cool.

And I get it. But it turned out fine for me. But for my mom to lay hands on me as a young kid, I had to push her. And everybody has their breaking point, right? But she didn't do it often. Not often. My mom didn't have to because I would just get that look in my mom's eyes. She pre-disappointed, right?

So it wasn't that I did anything to disappoint her. She just laid it on me to make sure that I wouldn't. And there were many times where I'd go out there and do some stuff. I think I was going to do some stuff. And then that poem she put in my head would come back and I changed- Can't believe you remember that whole poem.

Bro, I changed my whole behavior because of that poem. I did some stuff that I'm not, I was a young kid. You break a cup, whatever. I won't admit to anything I hear, but I did stuff and I was about to do stuff. And then I, that poem popped into my head and I went home and she had no idea that that

little poem and the way she raised me is the difference between me making that one choice versus another. Prison or dead. Totally. That split decision moment that Ice-T writes about in his new book is from that poem. So I actually made it an important part of my journey to honor my mom's commitment to me and my sister, not the way she wants, but in a way which is due right by what she taught me.

So she's been angry at me for sure, because I was really problematic as a kid, for sure. But I always made her laugh. And she always made me laugh. So we had a good thing. You know, I'm super grateful and I'm really grateful my dad left, if I'm being honest, because I think if he had stayed, he was a bit of an angry guy at the time. I don't know what he's like now, but my dad was tough and I wouldn't have turned out the way I did if my old man had stuck around and was, if he treated me the way he treated her, I would have gone to jail. So I'm

grateful that that he split. And I, and I, I highly encouraged it. I'm like, if you want to go, just don't come back, man. Like he didn't, there was no conflicting. I'm in, I'm out. I'm in, I'm out. He made a call and it's like, cool, this is over. Now we're doing it this way. And I.

With that blue suit on and bounced. You know, those blue suits that had like the frilly white shirts that go that pastel blue. It's the best suit ever. And I remember there's an episode of The Simpsons when Homer was dating the country singer. It's like one of those good fellow suits. He's like, bring it back. Bring it back. Remember when Homer was managing

Lurleen? It was Stand By Your Manager episode and he was wearing the Colonel Tom suit. He was Colonel Homer. And Bart Simpson said, as much as I hate that man right now, you gotta love the suit. It was kind of like that. It's like, God, I love that suit. Say goodbye to last year's outdated, disorganized methods of managing your money and say hello to Rocket Money, the better way to hack your finances in 2023. Rocket Money, formerly known as Truebill, is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your

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first order when you go to dadgrass.com slash honeydew. Go to dadgrass.com slash honeydew for 20% off your first order. That's dadgrass.com slash honeydew. Now, let's get back to the do. And look, honestly, bro, I don't have any ill will towards people who make tough choices because it sucks for them too. And I know now what you know, what we all know is that they have unchecked trauma. They didn't deal with it. They didn't get to do the work. Yeah, some people are shitty and got to be out of the system.

But a lot of this is mental health and abandonment and anxiety and depression. I ain't mad at people who didn't know. And also, these days, I feel sorry because I'm like, well, you fucking lived your your whole life without your kids your grandkids like you don't really have the respect you don't have that no that your dad does not have the respect of his children that mom does yeah yeah yeah for sure and part of the reason why he's got to live with that whether it bothers him or not that's something that man cares i'm sure he's aware of it is he still alive he's still alive as far as i know um occasionally he'll like an Instagram post of mine, which is awesome, which is awesome,

but it doesn't, I'm actually kind of like, cool. He's alive. But I think part of now I'm different than I used to be, but part of the reason I didn't want anything really to do with that with him was I, not because I had,

I was angry at him. I just never wanted to appear disloyal to my mom, you know? And I'm like, man, she's doing all the work. He doesn't get to be good dad on the weekends. Like there's no bad cop, good cop here. She's, she's the general and I'm here to follow the job. I didn't follow the orders. I probably should have,

but she's the general I'm on her side. And as I got older, I realized I don't need sides, but back then I was so loyal to my mom and I'm still loyal to all the people in my life now as a result of that. Um, yeah. And I'm fucking devastated. Like if she was on here, the trauma she went through, my grandmother getting into fights with Nazis and Soviet soldiers post-war during the war. And, and I'm like, man, the women in my life have dealt with mega trauma. I'm here just to go, ladies, thank you. Thank you for your service. Cause look at how lucky we are now. Cause the work you did. When I see somebody honk a horn at an old lady

walking down the street, I'm not prone to violence, but I want to get out there and punch that person in the fucking face. Cause it's like, do you know what that old woman had to deal with? Especially somebody who lived in the forties and the fifties. Do you know how fucking hard their life was?

And she's a little slow crossing the road and you got to get to what fucking Pilates? Go fuck yourself. You know, go fuck yourself you know let her take your time running to get your starbucks pickup yeah you fucking hate that i have a soft spot for that too my grandmom was like a mom to me and all her sisters so i was always raised with that you know take care you know the elder generation you'll be a gentleman you respect them you fucking help, you be a gentleman, you respect them, you fucking help them, you call them, ask them if they need this, go get their groceries, whatever it is, help them. Yeah. So I'm the same way. You know, one of the reasons I think I became

an interviewer and for a living is that when I was young and my mom couldn't afford a babysitter, she would do two things. She would, she'd do temp work, right? A lot of times when in between gigs, she would take me to a local library in a neighborhood called Rexdale, throw me inside there and tell me you're not allowed to leave. She'd let the librarians know I was staying there. I'm like six, right? She'd say seven, eight. She'd say, hey, can you just not let them leave? It's a tough neighborhood. Let them stay here. So I would just wander the library by myself in the morning, young, like a fucking baby, by myself reading books. I thought the librarians were so attentive.

It's just because they were keeping an eye on me because my old lady asked them to. She would then pick me up for lunch. We'd have lunch. She would take me down the street, same street. There's a senior citizen's home there. And she would actually tell me, go inside, find somebody, and keep them company. Nuh-uh.

100%. She'd say, there are people in there who have nobody, and they have lived a life you will never live. They have done things that you will never experience. She had a friend in there she'd visit, and she'd say, your job is to go sit beside somebody who has nobody and listen to them and learn. I was shy as hell.

And so the second- Your mom, like everybody should go through a course with your mom. Totally. And I said this to her one day, and she's like, I didn't know what I was doing. She goes- Go take a customer service job. I want you to yell that all day long so you understand. This is it. And I think now sending a seven, eight-year-old boy who was shy into a room filled with 70-year-old men who were in World War II, because that's how long ago it was. So there's nothing that can sway me, I think, because I had

that love. And no matter what happens to me from here on in, I'm like, I'm all right, man. I'm all right. So when I saw my dad and he didn't recognize me, I looked at him and I went, this is for you, not for me. We had lunch. It was really nice. I caught up with what his life was. And I left and I haven't seen him since. And I have no, I don't really think about it. It doesn't bother me. But my ex, who's one of my best friends today, she said, put the time in with him when you can, not because you want to, or you need to, but there'll be a time when he's not around. And if you ever wonder, should you have, you'll have answered the question. And I thought, that's why I'll do it. I mean, I'm one of those men that is so fortunate that there were like

three or four women in my life who, not that it's their job, but they helped me become a better version of myself. I didn't have that for a while. And I'm just so grateful that I was surrounded by some unbelievable people who saw a young rough kid who was going to go down the wrong path. And they just guided me. And I had a couple of, my uncle was amazing, taught me about music, taught me how to be a good man. The man, my mom, Mary taught me how to be a good man. So I got lucky that, that, and this is the sphere of influence matters. What are you showing the next generation? That's why I hate when people go on social media and act like when they say that stupid fucking racist shit, that stupid homophobic transphobic shit,

that pro-capitalist anti-poverty shit. I'm like, bro, you are on the wrong side of history. Guide with strength and love. Especially men, big masculine tough men, your job is not to fight inwards. Your job is to fight the enemy. That's right. And the enemy are the people that are holding

other people down. And I watched these fucking Malakas online, you know. I love the Malakas. Yeah, these fucking Malakas are like, fuck what everybody thinks. I'm like, bro, you're fighting the oppressed. When are you all going to die off?

Yeah. When are you all going to die off? Like. When are you all going to die off? Like, you know, it's like, oh, I watch people complain about pronouns. I'm like, yeah, I get the complicated nature of pronouns. But do you don't think that trans people have put up with enough? Help them. Because you know who's against that? People you fucking hate.

Yeah. Why are you siding with those motherfuckers on a principle? Come on. Like, there's a lot of shit that I'm not entirely sure. I don't understand everything in the world, but I'm like, I'm going to. That's the one thing I am sure of. Yeah. I don't know what the fuck.

I don't know what the fuck. Nothing. But you know what I do know? I know is like, you know what, man? The people who are being oppressed, they're usually the ones being oppressed. So like, I don't get it right every time, but I do my fucking best. That's what you're supposed to do with your anger. That's what you're supposed to do with your strength.

That's what you're supposed to do with your privilege and your platform, from my point of view. And I watch a lot of Malakas. I'm like, man, you guys are dropped the fucking ball. Well, it's interesting you say that because the core values of a good man were absolutely rooted and instilled in me by my father. But after he passed, it's all women that helped me become a better man.

It's all women, including even having a child and my daughter, you know, and being like, yeah, I still got a long way to go. But my grandmother, Miss Sandy, Sandy Patterson. All right. It was her birthday yesterday. I called her and I said that to her too. Your grandma? No, her name is Sandy Patterson. Well, it was. She's remarried, but I knew her as. I go, no, her name is Sandy Paddock.

Well, it was, she's remarried, but I knew her as, and it's, she's like my mom and her son, we're still all super tight family. And I called her yesterday and I said, you know, the funny story is that when she met my brother and I in seventh grade, her son was in sixth and she drove us home from soccer practice. And she tells me this. She's like, you don't understand. You kids just shit on your mother. And I'm driving you home, and I'm thinking, there's no way in hell I'm letting my kid hang out with these two pieces of trash.

You know what I mean? She goes, but then we get home to your house, and I meet your mother. And I'm like, I fucking love the shit out of these two little kids. And your mom's still alive. Yeah. And she leaned in from going from the kid. And I'm a son to her still to this day. She's 75.

How lucky are you? That's what I said. I go, thank you. Yeah. Thank you for taking this fucking kid that you heard right there and looking past my anger and my pain and seeing the real person in there that was in there and helping me bring that out. And it's almost all women that have done that for me. And you pay it forward by showing that to others and creating a space where people can do that. To me, it's the people who get the benefit of all this help and then forget it. That's what

drives me crazy. Forget where you came from. Forget who had a handout for you and pulled you up. Yeah. I remember seeing a fight in my neighborhood, like, you know, a bunch of kids get around neighborhood and bunch of dudes getting into a

fight. And I watched an older kid drive up, park his car, like park it, stop in the middle of the road, get out, grab the two kids that were fighting, separated him and threw them and said,

fucking stop it. Got in his car and drove away. And I thought, that's okay. That's it. Now I hear, don't put your hands on my kid. That grownup just said, fucking stop it. And I learned from that. I went, oh, okay.

I'm learning how to, now if you don't have good influences around you, it can go the other way. So I have a lot of love for people who do the wrong thing because how are they influenced? Who raised them, right? Maybe they didn't have the Miss Sandy that you had. This is the Van Engelstorp family who saved my life. What do you do if you don't have them? So I try to have a generous spirit. Sometimes I'm a scrappy person in my heart. It's hard. I have to remind myself, come on, bro. It's okay. But yeah, I'm just ever so grateful.

Yeah. I try to only let my ego ride in the car with me by myself with the windows up. Like it doesn't go to meetings with me anymore. It doesn't even get out at the gas station. No, no. I mean, it's just get the fuck, stay the fuck in there. We can say whatever the fuck we want when these windows are open. Because sometimes you got to build yourself up.

You got to train your brain. I get it. Yeah, I get it. I snap inside the car in quiet now. Today I was driving here to see you and I was listening to the radio. I was listening to news and something happened on the news. And I was just like, man, if anybody heard me right now. Yeah.

Because it's not the elevated version of myself. That's right. Yeah. And I, but don't let it get out of the car. Right. That's where. That's where it fucking stays. That's amazing.

Like shut the fuck up and sit in here. Totally. I'll be right back. Totally. I'll be right back i'll be right back we'll pick up it's like that new uh nick cage movie have you seen that uh pig no the unbearable whatever dude he rides in the car with his ego the young ego you got to see him and oh i do need to see young nick cage talking to him it's really fucking funny man it's really i believe like I say this all the time, too. If I would go back and meet my, what I thought was my best version of myself at 18, I would punch myself right in the fucking face. Right in the face.

Right in the face. Say, bro, you're going to blow this. You don't know shit. You're going to fucking blow this, man. You know how you think all this is going? The universe is going to fucking take its dick out and just go, pow, right across your face. You ain't going to see it coming. No, no, totally, totally.

Yeah. It's amazing how, I'm surprised any of us survived our teenage years. Not just our era, like our era specifically, wild. But how we treated each other, what we were subject to, I'm surprised any of us survived it, to be honest with you. So what, when you actually first on your own then, like your real own? You know, I was late teens. I guess I was 18 or 19 when I moved to another city across Canada to do a radio job.

I got my first radio job. I had an illegal pirate radio station that I was a part of in Canada, Toronto. Weirdly enough, in the shopping mall mall across the street from the library in that senior citizen's home. So I pulled into that place and I'd be looking around going, this is it. Right. I did that for a while. Then I went to work in Kelowna, BC. This is before I cleaned up too. I was still drinking pretty heavily and I was partying as a young boy would. I've been clean for almost 30 years now. Have you really? Yeah. 30 years. But at that point, I 28, I think at that point I was living the dream out there on my own, broke as fuck, broke as fuck.

And I looked around, I'm like, yeah, I can keep living like this, or I could maybe put some effort into getting out of this. Because I was driving a forklift at the airport in Toronto, 18 years old, unloading airplane canisters for cargo companies. 18 years old, unloading airplane canisters, right? For cargo companies. And it would be like 10 o'clock in the morning. And the older guys that worked there would pull it, you know, the six pack of beer and the fucking plastic rings, 10 AM, you know, 17, 18 years old, boom, pull out. We'd have a couple of fucking beers, you know, then we'd hear that donut truck show up. We'd go have cigarettes, wearing our construction boots as a teenager. And these guys, without saying anything, I looked around and went And these guys, without saying anything, I looked around and went,

these guys have a life that I don't think I can do. I don't think I can do this. And a couple of guys said to me, get out of here. This isn't for you, right? I love that job. My respect for that line of work is heavy. It's not like I was better than that. It just definitely was not better than that.

They were better than me. I'm like, I don't think I can get up at six in the morning every day, put on my construction boots and fucking lift heavy shit. I'm just not that strong. I'm not wired for it. And I was, I just, I know we were making pre-internet, right?

We're making gambling calls. We were booking, it was Saturdays. We'd bet on the Sunday football game. We'd call local radio stations around the US to check the weather. It's a cold game. Let's take the under. No shit.

Yeah. So we were like gambling and stuff. We were 16, 17, 18 years old. And I'm doing this job, drinking beer, driving a forklift at the airport. And I, I thought, nah, I gotta lean into something. I gotta lean into something. And I got lucky into this business. Right.

I saw radio as an option and I went for it. Um, and I was on my own then, but? I saw radio as an option and I went for it. And I was on my own then, but here's the crazy thing about being on my own. I've been on my own for the whole time, I feel, but I still to this day, don't feel alone. I never felt alone. I never felt, even though I didn't have the kind of relationship with my family where we would talk about feelings, I never felt I couldn't. I felt like, yeah, I felt like we just didn't need to. And if you do need to holler, I'll call my sister the same way. My sister and I talk a little bit more about, I mean, as far as being raised by your mom and she sort of take care of my business. I got this shit.

Yeah. Yeah. My sister is so bad-ass. She's so funny. She's so tough. She's so clever. She was a single mom for a long time too. She's married to a great guy now. But I looked at my family and I just like, yeah, we got this. We're together. So, and all of my success is their success. All of their success is my success, right? So even though I've been on my own probably since the late, I was 18, I guess where I was really out there working at this. I've never, my first radio job, I was also driving the forklift and afternoons I was working at a subway making sandwiches. So I was doing three jobs just like my mom did, volunteering at a community radio station because this is what adults in my family do. We go to work.

But no one in your family was entertainment? They were all like blue-collar hard workers or – I think everybody in my family, everybody except for me, worked at a golf club either in maintenance or in like cleaning the kitchen or that kind of stuff. All golf. Yeah, because there was a golf club in my mom's neighborhood, a private club. So my grandmother worked there. And then like any good immigrant family, got all the fucking family working there. Everybody worked vacuum or whatever.

So when I got into TV and I got into meeting people who were in different social stratas, I met at Country Club Life people. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had Country Club Life too. We served you. So that was the big difference, right? So yeah, nobody in my family was in this business at all. And then, bro, I met, I guess we can talk about this on your podcast. I haven't really talked about this.

I wanted to get in radio maybe when I was 14. Didn't know how to do it. I met a guy. I was an extra in radio maybe when I was 14. Didn't know how to do it. I met a guy. I was an extra on a TV show just for fun. I met this guy who is a corral in the extras. And then he said, what do you want to do for a living? I said, I want to get in radio. I was 14, 15. He's like, oh, I make a radio show. I knew who he was. He was a pretty famous radio guy in Canada. And then he's like, why don't you come over to the studio and help me make the show? I'm like, cool. I'd love to. I was so was so happy i'd go there he's a sexual predator no tries to get me drunk tries

to sexually assault me really oh yeah bro and this happened a couple of times from these how old are you at the time 14 or 15 right how old's he 40 oh yeah 40 so he was and he's using his radio shit to fucking bring kids in. So what do you do? I leave. I pushed him and I took off. Cause luckily I was street raised where like, I just, it worked for me that I was able to get out. He identified a vulnerable boy. He identified a, you know, single family. He did all the work to figure out who I was. He would show up at my house. He would show up my house to try to do shit. I, but I knew, I knew that I was like, I can't do it. Try to get me drunk at 14 and using radio radio this is the thing i wanted to do for a living using radio as

the thing so my whole life has always been these fucking target we're targets all the time right so that's why now in my life he's like oh i have a show it's great i have a show i get fired i don't give a fuck this is the game life is like this right so all the hardship that happened it never bothered me because i was like oh no, real hardship happens when those guys are out there trying to take you, right? Big radio guy. I don't know why, but I'll tell you this. I was on a plane a few years ago and I'm sitting there and there's a guy beside me. He's like, oh, he recognized me from Canada. He's like, oh yeah, we have a friend in the business. I said, oh cool, what's his name? And he mentions the guy's name. I said, oh, you know him, right? Do you have a son? He said, yeah. I said,

was that guy ever around your son when your son was a little boy? He said, yep. I said, you should probably talk to your son. And the guy went, pardon me? Went, you should talk to your son. Really? And I could see the color drain from his face. know i'm like fuck that guy fuck that guy wow what a way to find out totally totally i've never done i don't i don't name him publicly or whatever but but i'm aware of who he is right he's still alive as far as i understand he sent me a facebook message a bunch of years ago saying have we met before so when i became more well-known in canada he's like have we met before and i didn't respond to him but in my head i'm like there will come a time there will come a time. There will come a time where you will know. Have you ever crossed paths? Never saw him again. Wow. But I found out later when I, so I ended up working at a radio station that he used to work at.

And I found out that he did this to all kinds of little boys when he was coming up. And I'm like, none of you motherfuckers stopped him. Like none of you stopped him. That's another DJ. You're just playing music, man. Playing music. What do we, yeah. Totally. So I grew up believing that you were always in danger and the system was never there for you. The police weren't there for you.

Most elders weren't there for you. The companies weren't there for you. The church wasn't there for you. The school wasn't there for you. So I grew up believing that systems are not there for you, but people individually can be. So that's why when the world's on fire now, I'm not freaked out by it because I'm never- You got your people.

Yeah, and I never expected it to be. Joey Diaz has a great thing. You don't need a whole bunch of motherfuckers. Three bad motherfuckers to take over a country. Yeah, I got my bad motherfuckers. I got my bad motherfuckers. Three bad motherfuckers. It's one of the greatest I got my bad motherfuckers. I got my bad motherfuckers. Three bad motherfuckers. It's one of the greatest fucking lines I've ever heard.

It is, too. All you need is three bad motherfuckers. I got my bad motherfuckers, man. You can take over a country. I love it. I love it. And it's true. It is, too.

It's true. In our industry, I'm sure you cross paths in comedy. Like, there's a lot of fucking bad dudes out there, man. And I was just lucky to have experienced it young enough and was given the tools to handle it. The streets gave me the tools, right? My mom taught me how to process it. That's what I figured. The street taught me how to handle it in the moment. My mom taught me how to handle the after effects. She doesn't know about this, by the way. My mom doesn't have that cell phone, doesn't have the internet. So she probably won't even know. But she has no idea that this happened

to me when I was a kid. Most people don't, but I never let those fuckers sway me. Like those fuckers are never going to get my way. I'm on my path, man. And I never thought I was promised a clear path. There will always be obstacles. There will always be people out there in your way. Sometimes they're doing it on purpose and sometimes they're not. Either is irrelevant to me. Right. I'm on my fucking path. Yeah.

That radio guy, man, he did it to a lot of fucking kids and that radio station and that industry in Toronto protected him for years. That blows me away that anybody would protect someone like that for whatever job, even if you're the president. Because what are most people, right, dude? Cowards. Yeah. Most people are fucking cowards. Yeah. And I won't be one you're the president. Because what are most people, right, dude? Cowards. Yeah. Most people are fucking cowards.

Yeah. And I won't be one. I probably was when I was younger. Sure. I mean, you got to learn how to not be something. Yeah. I was scared a lot when I was younger, for sure. Me too.

Now I don't give a fuck. Yeah. I remember leaving my house every day for school, walking to school thinking, if I saw a group of boys across the street, I'm getting beat up today. Like it was that kind of neighborhood. So my fear receptors were constantly moving. Now I have almost no fear. I'll go to war zone as you know, for work and I don't have fear. I'm not stupid about it, but I don't have the same kind of fear. I have no anxiety about any of this because I grew up like really learning how to

manage it early. I'm super grateful for that. You know, man, you did have a great mom, the best and a great foundation, core values and honesty. The. The best. And a great foundation. Yeah. Core values and honesty. The neighborhood I lived in was a place called Malton. If you ever, you haven't been to Toronto yet, but when people land in Toronto, they land at that airport. That's the neighborhood I grew up in by the airport. Right there. Yeah. I could walk to the airport.

And I remember almost getting arrested in Pakistan. So my neighborhood's really tough. I was in Pakistan 10 years ago, plus during the war. And I was about to get arrested by the secret police. I was filming something for journalism. They didn't want me to film it. And I was trying, I was fighting the cop just to stall. So my camera operator could get the fucking disc out of the camera and leave. So it wouldn't get confiscated. And I'm escalating the fight. And I realized I'm about to get arrested, but I'm just doing it and I'm escalating the fight,

and I realize I'm about to get arrested, but I'm just doing it to give the camera guy time. This car stops in the middle of Lahore, a busy city in a busy part of Pakistan. This car stops. I'd never been there before. Woman gets out of the car, and she yells, Strombo.

Nah. Bro. And I'm like, what? And the cop goes, what? She says, I'm from Malton, my neighborhood. I went, Malton. And I walked up to her and the cop just left. Nuh-uh. I don't know who she was.

What the fuck, dude? She saved me. That's an angel right there, dude. Bro, my neighborhood got my back, you know? So I'm grateful for that. Man, that runs deep. That is fucking timing too, man. Pakistan during the war, she's like, I'm grateful for that. Man, that runs deep. That is fucking timing too, man. Pakistan during the war, she's like, I'm from Malta.

And I'm like, my neighborhood just saved my life. I'm down. 100%. How do you not love that neighborhood forever? Totally. It's in my heart forever, man. Isn't that crazy how life comes? When you stick around, if you just stick around for life,

so much weird, fun, different shit comes back into play later. It's kind of fucking wild. Got to be open. You got to be friendly. You got to you gotta be kind and you gotta be ready that's it open friendly ready and kind man these are the only things that really fucking matter to me because i go to burning man every year like your buddy harlan i love harlan i go to burning man i see a whole bunch of people who don't participate in the fucking capital system we live in they don't do the job shit they're happy we're out here fucking slugging it out every day trying to get people we don't participate in the fucking capital system we live in they don't do the job shit they're happy we're out here fucking slugging it out every day trying to get people we don't know to shooting at each other in traffic yeah and we're trying to get people we don't know to like our fucking posts

retweet our shit and we're like what the fuck are we doing what is this what is this we don't have to do this we choose to and so i i i reframed myself a long time ago which was man i'm doing this because i want to do this, I'm doing this because I want to do this. I don't do this because I need to do this anymore. And that was, I took the preciousness out of the game. It's craft to me now. This is like, I love the craft. I love meeting you. I love listening to what you said on your, I love watching your stories that people talk about here. That's what I love to do. This isn't precious to me. This is just a human experience. about here that's what i love to do this isn't precious to me this is just a human experience and that's what i i my name my neighborhood and my family prepared me for that in the biggest way

man that's great all right so i want to ask you this now we've talked about everything we've talked about going back uh advice you would give to your 16 year old self you know, I, I would tell myself when I was 16, um, you're doing it. Like you've got this already. You've got this and doesn't matter what happens. You'll be okay. Like you will be okay. Cause when I'm 16, I'm sitting there thinking I have no career path. I have no real dreams. I have no real vision for any of this stuff. I wanted to be a filmmaker, but how do you do that? And I would come back to myself and I would say, dude, steady, steady. It isn't going to go your way all the time, but just stay on this path. Because I would have taught myself then that the achievement isn't the issue the doing it is the thing that's the fucking goal that's what i didn't know i didn't know when

i was 16 when i was 16 i had to make something got to do it like the thing like the fucking end result doesn't matter the end result doesn't fucking matter i also would have told myself which games i should have bet on i would have bet on fucking buster douglas over mike tyson i should have fucking i would have got into crypto early just put a hundred dollars on buster because i i lost money on that fucking shit not much but i would have told me no i would i honestly would have told myself that the journey is actually the thing it is and i probably would have taught myself to the journey is actually the thing. It is. And I probably would have taught myself to meditate if I'm being real talk.

I would have said, be healthy, quit drinking earlier, do that kind of shit. I quit drinking early, but I said, quit drinking earlier. Having fun. The other thing I would have taught myself is, you know right away if your friends are toxic. You know right away if your friends are toxic. And while I do think it's important, Jasmine, one of my best friends taught me this throw away behavior not people but i would have i would have learned uh earlier what behavior to avoid i didn't know that because i thought you had to like stick it out and make it work right you don't have to make it work you don't no and

it's not self-care it's just like this this is, you're on your trip, bro. Yeah. I'm going elsewhere. Yeah. I would have learned that a little bit earlier. I would have liked to learn that a little bit earlier. Dude, thank you for coming on. This is a great episode.

I really appreciate you taking the time. Please, again, plug, promote everything you'd like. Man, I'm on Apple Music every day on Apple Music Kids. I love sharing music and playing stories. I get to play. There's 100 million songs in the Apple Music world, so I get to play them all. They let me do my thing. They trust us. Our team is incredible. Uh, they've been great

partners and they honestly just said, tell stories. They value storytelling and they let me tell some stories and play some great songs. So that's what every day on Apple music hits, you can find it strombo or just follow me on social media. I'll be there. All right. Thank you, brother. I really do appreciate you coming on. Um. And thank you all as well. RyanSickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media. We will talk to you all next week. I'm out.