The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Gianmarco Soresi - SoresiDew

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

My Honeydew this week is comedian Gianmarco Soresi! Check out Gianmarco’s podcast, The Downside. Gianmarco joins me to Highlight the Lowlights of his upbringing. We dive into his parents' divorce, the wild relationships that followed, and the challenges that come with being part of a blended family. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour Detroit, MI - Nov. 8th Minneapolis, MN - Nov. 9th Madison, WI - Nov. 15th & 16th Portland, OR - Nov. 23rd Ft. Lauderdale, FL - Dec. 6th Tampa, FL - Dec. 7th Tempe, AZ - Dec. 20th and 21st Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS:

Detroit, Michigan. I'll be there Friday, November 8th at the Magic Bag. Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'll be there Saturday, November 9th at the Parkway Theater. Madison, Wisconsin. I'll be there Friday and Saturday, November 15th and 16th at Comedy On State. And Portland, Oregon. I'll be at the Aladdin Theater, Saturday, November 23rd. Get your tickets to those shows and all shows on my website at RyanSickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. ["The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler"] Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all.

We're over here doing it in the night pan studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, Ryan sickler.com, Ryan sickle on all your social media. And I'm going to start this episode like I start all our episodes by saying thank you. Thank you very much for your support. I can't tell you how grateful I am to be able to do this for a living. Thank you for watching the shows, for supporting the way back. Make sure you're subscribed. You're getting new episodes on this feed every Tuesday and Thursday.

All right. And if you got to have more, you got to check out the Patriot. I'll never stop talking about it. It is this show, the honeydew with you all. And you can only imagine the stories that you all have. It is the best show on Patreon. It's your show. It's five bucks a month. And it hadn't changed. There's literally hundreds of hours of the wildest stories from y'all.

And if you or anyone, you know, has a story that has to be heard, please submit it to honeydewodcast.gmail.com. Come see me on the road. If I'm in town when you're around, tickets are available on my website at Ryan sickler dot com. All right. That's the biz you guys know we do over here. We highlight the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I am very excited to have this guest on first time today.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jean Marco Sorrezi. Welcome to the home of the young man. Did I say it right? Thank you. Thank you for calling me young man. I appreciate it. Yeah, brother. How are you?

I'm good. Nice to meet you. Good to meet you too. I've never met you before. Thanks for doing this. Yeah, I appreciate it. It's also early. Earlier than most comics would get up.

I'm on East Coast time though still. So in my head I'm like, I feel my life feels in control. I'm like, ooh, I get up at six now. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, before we get into whatever we're gonna talk about, promote anything you'd like, please. Yes, you can find me everywhere at my name

at John Marco Serezi, John Marco spelled with a G, G-I-A, John Marco Serezi. And I'm on tour. I'm just traveling around the country. It's called the Leaning In Tour. And I post about it everywhere again at Joe Marcos Suresi. And I got a podcast called The Downside with Joe Marcos Suresi.

So if you look up The Downside, you can watch it on YouTube or subscribe anywhere you get your podcasts. All right. So let's get to know you a little bit first. Where are you from originally? Potomac, Maryland. Okay.

Yeah. You know, I got love for anybody from Maryland. Potomac is very boring. Yeah. How long were you there though? I mean, I, well, my parents are divorced. So kind of in DC for a couple of years on my mom's side, but Potomac at my dad's side forever.

He's kind of- Oh, okay. So you'd really grew up in Maryland. You didn't bounce out of Maryland after. No. All right. So let's talk about it. So your parents were, what did they do? What did mom and dad do? So my mom was a lawyer.

I'm not sure exactly what she covered, but one time I did an event where someone from ExxonMobil recognized her and she like, so not necessarily the good. I mean, maybe that's why I haven't asked more. And then my dad, he's always been, he's like, I guess entrepreneur is the right word, but he had a company that basically their main thing

was oil spills, which was like a big thing. Hold up. Are you for real? Yeah, like if it was something- But moms rep and ex on, your dad's cleaning the shit up. I never put that together. Are you serious? Are you never thought of that?

Hey, that's the union. Holy shit. I did not. These two are in cahoots. Yeah. And I was like, how did they meet? Probably at a fucking convention where they're like, fuck you, we're cleaning that shit up.

I'm representing these people. These are good people. An accident happened out there in the ocean. I think college, there's not a lot of like convos about like how I met your dad. Okay. You know, those, so I never got, I get little pictures, that's all I have.

All right, so mom's an attorney for who we assume is representing Exxon. Dad is an entrepreneur who has a company that cleans up oil spills. Yeah. In the oceans and stuff or anywhere? In the ocean, I think anywhere though. And, but he's like, he works, he likes,

it's like a mix of the construction business and the like chemical cleanup, but now he does scrap metal recycling under the same name. So he like, he deals with like, you know, workers and- In Maryland? In Maryland, DC, Virginia. What's the yard called? Oh God, I don't know what the,

it's still called Remac is the company. I don't know what he calls the yard. I'm gonna hit my buddy Shannon up today. I'll bet you he knows exactly who that is. Yeah. Remac? Remac. Okay, we're gonna look that up. Sure, sure.

Give him some work. It'd be hilarious if they bought stuff from each other because I have a good friend and my brother both do scrap metal, one in Maryland and one in Delaware. It's what they do, they own junk yards. You'll have to ask. I'll bet you. I'll bet you they've crossed paths.

We'll see if it's a positive review or if it's a, Yeah, they might be listening to that fucking guy. I wouldn't put it past them. Okay, so that's what mom and dad do and they divorce when you're how old, young? You know, I say I'd say stayed seven days, but I think it probably like four months, five months. Oh, you're a baby baby.

Baby, definitely no memories. No memories of happiness. And are you 50-50? You spend time with both parents, mostly mom, mostly dad. Like how's that work for you? They did, there's only, you spell it out. So it'd be for starting a cycle. Mom, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,

dad's Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Mom's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, dad's Thursday, Friday, mom's Saturday, Sunday. So that was the cycle. And I think at the time, my dad got the better deal and it was bad overall because I was either at my dad's for the weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, so we could go do something.

Every time. Every time. I see. But I don't know why the fuck they did this or they didn't change it, but I would spend Thursday, Friday with my dad's and then I'd go to my mom's on Saturday, Sunday, which just kind of fucked up.

You want to go on a trip or anything. It really, and it fractured my sense of weekend. So it was bad. I don't know. I don't, if I were to, I'd say week week. That's how you should live life. If that's what you're going to do. Week week. That's interesting. Cause my daughter, we have a four, four, that's how you should live life if that's what you're gonna do. Week, week.

That's interesting, because my daughter, we have a four, four, three schedule. Really, tell me. I mean, sorry, I lied. Two, two, three. So it'll go, I'll go Monday, Tuesday. Her mom will go Wednesday, Thursday. I'll go Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

And then that week flips. Okay. So next week. Well, because that's an improvement, at least the full weekend thing. Yeah, you get the full weekend. And then we work together too. If I'm like, hey, I want to take her to on it back to Maryland to visit relatives or whatever,

then you know, it's not a problem. It's not like, well, those are my days. None of that. That's, that's, we did. Those are my days. Yeah. We did. Those are my days. We did a lot for her.

Oh, it just felt the complicated one was if Monday was off. So if my dad had a Friday, Saturday, Sunday, he'd say, well, the day is off, what are we doing? And there was a couple awkward like in the living room, is mom picking me up or am I staying here? Am I gonna have to make a choice? There was always this like looming, I didn't like spending time with my mom's,

partly because my stepdad was very strict and my dad would always drop a like, if you want this to change, you could maybe testify. I think there was some kind of implication. There was some fear in my head as a kid of I'm gonna be asked to testify. And I'll have to say, I wanna go to my dad's. It's terrible.

I mean, going to court first of all for a kid and being present and have to my dad's. It's terrifying. I mean, going to court, first of all, for a kid and being present and have to speak is terrifying. Yeah. And then you're going to hurt your mom's feelings. Sure. Or your dad's. It's a lose-lose. Yeah, it was going to hurt my mom's at the time.

Because my dad, it's one of those very classic where my dad was like the good guy of my childhood. And then I get older and I'm like, oh, you were the instigator for so many of the bad things. So that was, I had a full narrative switch as I became an adult. Yeah, yeah. Dad's a fight club.

Okay. All right, so wait. So they split. Let's talk about mom remarrying first. How long before you have a new stepdad or a stepdad? She dated here and there, but again, I've, she got married probably when I was three

or something because my sister and I have the exact same birthday and she's four years younger than me. Get the fuck out here. Are you serious? Yeah. You guys have the same birthday. Same birthday. Same mom. Same mom. And four years apart? Yeah. You guys have the same birthday. Same birthday. Same mom.

Same mom. And four years apart. Yeah. That's fucking it. What are the odds of that? You ever looked that up? Sure. Well, August.

That's a lotto ticket odds. But people are, more people are having sex. I thought it's like in the, as it gets a little colder. So what would August be? There'd be November. I don't know. If you're trying to get with my mom, I think November's the month to give it a shot.

But the land on that day is you. Why? Like this? Four days after that. No way. Yeah, and I swear if he had been born on that fucking day, I would have been pissed. It is not cool to share a birthday with a family member.

I mean, I'm a twin, so I have a shared birthday. Sure. But I couldn't imagine having to share, cause I feel like that one would make me feel like no, fuck you. This was mine first. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This was mine. Yeah. Now you come along as ours. Fuck that. When you come out of the gate with an hours, there's nothing you can do about it. Sure. But to have to now share your birthday and your family and your mom. And my mom could have clenched a little harder and maybe.

Like just get the midnight. Yeah. Just get the midnight. Wow. Okay. So you have, so what you have two. Four younger, half siblings. Three on mom's side, one on dad's side. Okay. So dad had one too.

All right. So we'll stay with mom. So mom marries this guy. Marries this guy. He was a lawyer for my dad at some point in his career. I, now I don't know. Listen, for people who deal with oil, there's a lot of slippery shit going on into your story, bro. I gotta tell you. So wait, mom again, reps potentially, uh, exon, potentially at a low level, but she's on that side. So then she, my dad asked her to quit to raise me. So I think she, whatever trajectory she was on,

she stopped per my dad's request to raise me. They got divorced because he was cheating. And then she ends up with one of his attorneys. Yeah, I don't know if it was like, he was like, they were still working together, but they definitely met because of my dad working with this guy. Wow, okay.

But he, again, like my dad was, he was just like a serial cheater. My mom caught him on a, so someone went to my mom and she said at a party, she said, my husband thinks your husband is cheating on you. Like she passed along a message, no proof. A stranger? A friend, someone who knew my dad,

who worked with my dad and they had talked and my mom was like pissed. She was, you get mad at the messenger. Also there's no evidence. So someone's just saying like, I think she calls my dad. This is what I've been told, you know, later. She called my dad, said, a friend saw you with another woman at a restaurant, lie.

And my dad goes, I'll be right home. Got it? So just, she felt it. She was pissed because something in it resonated. Did a full like, someone saw you with another woman and my dad, without a moment's notice just said, I'll be home. They had their fight.

My dad said something like, I'm never gonna change. That was kind of the line. I'm never gonna change. And- Did you hear this stuff or is this told to you? This is told to me later by my mom way later, way later. I think my dad, I don't know if I ever asked what instigated the breakup,

but my dad would always just paint it as like, they just didn't get along. So, yeah. And how was the, how was having a stepdad and how was he? It was very different. My dad was like fun and loose and let me do whatever I wanted. He was a bachelor.

So we were having fun. And my stepdad, he was very strict. He was born in Ohio. And I think his family was shocked. There's some story of him telling his Catholic family, like, I met a woman, get ready, she's a Jewish divorced and has a kid. And they were like,

it's just shocking. And like, why, why make it so hard? Why make it so hard? It's hilarious, why? And I just felt like he was extremely strict. I don't know why. And I just felt like he was extremely strict. I don't know why they- Was he harder on you than your other siblings? No, because there was a boundary of like,

he can only be so hard. Because again, with custody, with a kid, there is always the possibility that the kid could say, I wanna go to dad's and depending on how big that gets, it could become a problem. I've seen, so he was extremely, like with my sisters, he would do the lightest form of physical anything, which was like present your hand.

Then they would, and he'd go, and I don't even know if it hurt, but he had built up the shame very strongly, but he would never do that to me. So he was kind of the shame very strongly, but he would, he would never do that to me. So he was kind of hamstrung in that event. And maybe that made him harsher in certain respects. Cause the most he could tell me to do is to go for a timeout. Um, but he was, he was not, you know, we weren't allowed to watch the Simpsons because, you know, he saw in the news, the Simpsons was subversive. Whereas my dad's, I was watching Species

and just R rated movies out of too young an age probably. So it was a real, like my stepdad was the enemy of my childhood. He was just strict. Exxon. He's exxon. Sure, sure, pretty much. And-

So did you have a relationship with him though? Or was it more like just sort of a, you know, he was scared. Like he did. He had a weird thing where like certain things would bring him to this really fun side that was kind of shocking was a board game type stuff. He would do this thing. He called a beanie baby hunt, which where he, beanie baby was really popular,

and he would hide one in the house and he would write out this like elaborate scavenger hunt clue system all around the house. And it's crazy because it was this like artistic expression from an otherwise extremely, people would describe him as on the spectrum. I don't fucking know, but I mean like just very incredibly focused on this lawyer stuff.

He was an intense, intense lawyer. And so, and then moments he'd have this beanie baby hunt and suddenly he was like an artist and he was writing poetry and clues and it would be incredible because that was so much fun. But I think- Did you ever see any like sort of intimacy and obviously I don't mean anything gross here,

but between him and your mom, like were they huggy, kissy, lovey dovey at all? No. So he was very- No, he would do like, he would do a kind of like, you know, a spank now and then in a way that, and my mom in no way was like, ooh, it was just like, there was not a lot of love between. I mean, I think he-

Can I hold hands in public, things like that that you remember at least? No, no holding hands. I think they were, I think they had a sex life because I walked in once on them. No, you didn't. No, like right, like right before in the middle or something. But I remember distinctly.

How old were you? How, oh, seven, eight. Okay, young, okay. And I just remember my stepdad answering the door or being at the door looking so mad at me. And only later it clicked. I was like, oh, cause like he was finally, finally getting an up blow job for the first time in three years, I guess.

And then fucking I have a nightmare. Some guy looks like your wife's ex comes to the door. I'll tell you what I'm about to do. You're about to ruin your birthday, but I got one for you nine months later. Oh, man. But so you never had he was never a guy you could go to and Oh man, so you never had, he was never a guy you could go to and talk to about life or problems or school or grade, none of that.

No, I mean, he drove me to school every morning. He was more of a caretaker, would you say that? Yeah, he'd talk at you, he would talk like about, you know, a work or politics, but I didn't feel comfortable sharing. That's right. And I was so, I was such a- You weren't watching sports with him or whatever it was, bonding with him in other ways.

No, I wasn't a sports guy. I think if I had been, maybe. He likes comedy in his own way, and I wish we had found that. Yeah, that'd have been- But he was strict, he wouldn't let it west the Simpsons. Is that not- That's our part. Is what I wanna say, this is, is he,

and he's this way with your sisters as well, not just you. He was, and you watched the breakdown, and then the fourth kid, my brother on that side, you know, got, he was watching South Park. I was gonna say- It breaks down, it breaks down. You can only fight for so long. It's a losing battle.

Okay, and did he and your father get along? Did they ever spend any time, like have to spend time together or anything? There was a couple like, let's pretend it's okay, thanksgivings. And my dad was like, he was nuts. He was nuts. And I remember the last one,

I don't know if my dad brought one of his girlfriends or whatever, but my stepfather did the hand slap thing to my sister because she was like playing with her food. And my dad, you know, confronted, said, that's crazy. She was just playing with her food and parents. When parents critique each other's parenting, I feel like that's gotta feel really personal, I imagine. And that was the last one.

So there was just, it never was nice, never. And I think behind the scenes there was custody fighting, there was a lot of alimony fighting, I'm sure. Is that an alimony? Yeah, I'm sure there was a lot of that that I wasn't privy to at the time. So it just came off like, why aren't you guys getting along with my dad?

He would call, we'd have like hour long phone calls every day, we were just so close. And I think whenever I was there, he was either working during the weekdays, he would spend all his time with me in a bad way. Like I didn't go out and meet friends because we were always watching Seinfeld. Wow, is that right?

Yeah, he just, he didn't have any friends. So when I went to my dad's for the weekend, which as I said, was pretty much every weekend, if you think about it, I would just be there. And we would just like be on the couch in our underwear and a wife beater as we would have called it, and just watched the Seinfeld naked gun. And that was it.

So he didn't have a lot of friends and wasn't good at socializing. And those Thanksgivings were probably, it's a fool's errand to pretend. And are you close with your sisters? A lot closer as I've gotten older. There are two of them live here and I saw them. And there's only been a couple of times with,

it's very different relationships, the three on my mom's side and the one on my dad's side. Cause she went back and forth too. So we just took longer. But my siblings, I love going over, going over your childhood trauma with your siblings and hearing the different angles and what they saw and what you didn't, it's so much fun.

It's so much fun. Is there something, you've done that and you remember, do they remember things you don't? Yeah, and they had such a different experience because I was going back and forth. In a way, I do mourn or I wish I had what it could feel like to have a full sibling, not because of the blood of it all,

but because you spent that much time together. My siblings on that side, I'm sure it was frustrating because I mean, if they had struggles with their parents, I got a break from it in their mind. I didn't have to deal with this part of stuff. Yeah, you're lucky you get to leave for three days. Yeah, and so I think like they'll always have a bond that I can't connect to.

I think my oldest sister and I have like a bond that is very special because, you know, there was a brief moment where we were each other's only sibling. So there's like, there's just those eras of your life that you can't recreate in any way, shape or form. And so I really, I really, as I get older, I love my siblings much more deeply

than I knew how to fully when I was, you I get older, I love my siblings much more deeply than I knew how to fully when I was a kid, or even when I was in my 20s. In my 30s, I'm like, oh, this is, you think this is the partners I'm gonna have as our parents get older, and dealing with sickness, death. And I love them. I love my siblings a lot.

But it didn't really hit me until my 30s, I think kind of just how special it was. I say that all the time, like it's a long game. You don't figure it out till later and then you look back or even you have kids, you're like, how the fuck did you do all that? Yeah. And my sister on my dad's side,

it was just more distant because basically my dad, when I was like a teenager, started dating someone. It was an accidental pregnancy. And then they got married. It happened very fast, but she was, for my all intents and purposes, I saw her as my stepmom. Legally, they didn't have a wedding.

They had a fake wedding. I don't know why. I don't know whether that was just for the pomp and circumstance of it all, but she was my stepmom to my mind. And then one day, at least when I was a kid, my perspective was she just started sleeping in the basement.

And as my dad painted it, like her family was fucked up and she was, you know, just going a little bit crazy. I don't know if you use the word crazy, but definitely it was like, she's just childhood trauma. He would use therapeutic terms. He'd weaponize them in a way to not say, she caught me cheating. And so she just was like this big-

Why is she in the basement? Because I think she was so, she was pissed. I've never asked her directly, but she was probably just pissed, found out, said I don't wanna be here anymore, but didn't have a place to go. Maybe they'll work it out. When my mom and stepdad split up,

that was also the same thing. She stayed in the basement for almost a year, over a year. Your mom. Yes, because in Maryland, and I don't know if this was overturned, but at the time to file for divorce, you had to live under separate rooms for a year and apparently not have sex in that year.

That was part of the law. You're a hundred percent right. It's an old law still in the books because they say a lot of people will, you know, rethink it or decide they may not want divorced. They don't want to, you know, back the courts up. So you do have to be one year. Here's the other one. I did know it's one full year

unless you prove infidelity. And I had a friend of mine who hired a P.I. got the photo he needed, and then he was able to get a divorce immediately. He didn't have to wait the year. I didn't know about the sex part though, which is interesting. Don't you, well, don't you think though,

I understand it's painted as you might change your mind, but don't you think that it's just kind of a watered down form of, what's that term? No fault divorce. You can't get a divorce unless you prove something. We're like, it's in the benefit of the patriarchy in the sense of whenever it started, men were probably more often the breadwinner.

So you're a woman, you wanna get divorced. You have to live under a roof for a year. Where? How are you gonna buy that? How are you gonna pay for that? So you've essentially, it gives a power to the money earner, which with my mom, she could have been a money earner, but my dad, the previous marriage got her to quit,

hence the whole system. And so I feel like that law has to be originally because some guy didn't want a divorce. And let's say that she lived under another roof and he said, can we add a thing that if I say that we fucked, it doesn't count. I mean, it all feels very in favor of. I believe Maryland, I believe still a very old Catholic state.

It's like the first state. It's gotta be a little school, you know? A lot of rules that benefit the old school bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. That should, yeah. Okay. So when does dad meet his, the lady, he, you said you viewers or step-mothers. I was, yeah. Okay, so when does dad meet his, the lady he met? You said you viewers or stepmom. I was, yeah.

I was in middle school. So what's like sixth grade? Yeah, 11 maybe ish. Yeah. So they're not dating. You say this was just sort of a fling and she got pregnant? No, I think they dated. My dad had like a lot of girlfriends and they would-

You would see him, meet them? Okay, so you're meeting all these ladies or coming through. I mean all of them. He was dating my kindergarten teacher for a little bit. Didn't he really? And again, here's like another double of- That's messy.

It was messy, but she was cool. She was a cool teacher. That's very messy. Like I was very, I was excited. You're a kid. Of course you're a kid. I was like, there was no downside of it. I've never had a kid, I was like, there was no downside. I've never had a kid, I was like,

well, I'm worried this is kind of disrupting the orders of my life. But then the way my dad painted again was that my mom had her fired from the school. Now, my mom says they were passing each other messages via my lunchbox. And one day she picked me up from school and opens her son's school box.

And there's a message, who knows what it says. I doubt it said like, I can't wait to fuck you. But it was just like, she's like, this is wrong. And reported it to the school. And- And they fired that lady? They fired that lady. And my dad again painted it that my mom was just kind of,

just a bitch, just like these fucking, oh, what's wrong with this? The fact that it's a kindergarten teacher is what makes me laugh about it. It's like, that is wild. Yeah. I mean, those scripts don't even matter. Yeah, then we just need to get you through.

We gotta get you to read it and write and learn the alphabet. And you got love notes going in your lunchbox. So he just like, I had women who were like in my life and then would just disappear. And sometimes there would be a, there was one very specific woman who, I remember we went in the car and we used to play Monopoly all the time.

And she said, she said, I got a promotion at work and I'm probably gonna be a little too busy to be here as much anymore. And I remember saying, can we still play Monopoly? And she foolishly, but who could blame her? She was like, yeah, I'm sure someday. And then years later, I saw her at a Rite Aid with another man and a baby.

And I think again, it was like a weird like, oh, that's what happened four years ago. And I didn't really put it together. Did you say hi or anything or did you just see her? I feel like there was a hi, but it's uncomfortable. I still feel with my ex-stepmom or another woman that my dad dated for a long time, like six years, and we had a relationship,

and then it still is a little bit strange to see them. It's hard to just have a relationship completely outside the context of dating my dad. We could complain about my dad. It's like we don't even know how to of dating my dad. We could complain about my dad. It's like we don't even know how to talk about my dad because for them it's their ex and people have all sorts of, some people view their exes as people

and some people view their exes as like this fucking vile. Which is so, which I always find, I loathe that. And I think I loathe that because I see the consequences if you have children or if you have a community. And like, why do you need to think like that? You're so full of shit. When people talk about their ex and I'm like,

well, you stayed with them for four years. So it's a reflection on you, what you're talking about. If you hate them, you hate yourself too, or what you were, or what you're pretending you were. And so I loathe. Obviously there's some times exes do things that are worthy of hatred, but I've just seen both sides,

I've seen both sides too intimately to buy any single narrative. So when does it shift for you that your dad's a shit stirrer? When does that sort of present itself and why? I think the real breakdown was, so him and my stepmom got divorced. I'm sorry, real quick, they have a child though, right? Yeah, so one of the reasons they had that wedding perhaps

is this accidental pregnancy. And you have a brother or sister with them? A sister. So you have all girls. Are you the only boy? I got one brother at the bottom of- Oh, that's right, the baby brother. Yeah, but there's two sisters and then that's a baby.

Got it. He's the youngest youngest. Okay. The baby they tried to have to save their marriage. Yeah. Are you close with your sister from your dad? It's very complicated because I think they had their own custody battle.

And also I know people are gonna be like, shut up, Ryan, let him answer. But what's the age difference at this point? It's like 10, 11 years, right? We're talking about sixth grade issues. Yes. Okay, so that's what my daughter and her brother are. 10 year difference.

Sure. And that's obviously, daughter and her brother are, 10 year difference. Sure. And that's obviously, that takes time to get close. It's just a kid. But it was, I think what happened is my dad and his ex had a custody battle over her that was very intense. The levels of it that I believe occurred was that they got joint custody. My dad appealed because he wanted full and then he lost all.

That's how I was told it. And I think I witnessed a couple of things. I think my dad, especially when he lost all custody and he saw her once a week, two days, two days this one afternoon, the next, was so desperate to be the fun parent that he spoiled just the ever living fuck out of her in a way that I think he did with me, but suddenly I'm the older one and I am completely in service of like entertaining this I am completely in service of like entertaining this three-year-old girl. So what movies we see, what we do, where we go,

it's all kind of to keep things good for her. And my dad is like always determined like, I need both of you together. He wants to feel this thing that he calls family. And for him, it's his two kids being there at the same time. So everything was together. Everything was in the service of her. And suddenly my dad who had like spoiled the shit out of me,

spoiled me, let me do whatever I wanted, be as lazy as I wanted, eat whatever I wanted, watch movies with me. Suddenly all he was worried about was this little girl. And it made her kind of very bratty, very, like we would go to dinner and no matter what, she just wanted butter noodles. And my dad would no matter what, just give it to her

in a way where I would just watch it even at a certain age and going like, what are you doing? You're spoiling this child. You're gonna fuck her up. Like you never challenge her to do anything and she's gonna suffer for it. And I knew that because I was suffering for it.

I was suffering that I got to quit whatever thing I wanted to and I was never pushed. And I felt my shortcomings in high school. So can we talk about that for a second? I hear you getting passionate about it. So you actually, you regret or you would have rather been pushed. Very much so.

Yeah. I had to become, and I'm- Tell me about that. I think, I think I was, I was, I consider myself lazy but it was a developed habit. And so I would do- So if you said, for example, if you said, all right, I'm gonna play soccer.

And then you start playing soccer, and you're like, I wanna quit. Your dad wouldn't be like, nope, we made a commitment. You're a team member, we're gonna do- I quit the swimming team because I said the pool was too cold. And my dad, my dad didn't get fucking out of here. And that's how there was no, there was no,

well, maybe it's important. And I used to think it was cause my dad spoiled me. I think it's because my dad said, yeah, you know what? I don't want to drive you here every Saturday either. Let's get the fuck out of here and go watch TV. Instead of being like, let's build up some metal here. Let's toughen you up a little bit. Let's commit.

Let's show you what, what, what commitment is and schedule and routine. And so I think you would have liked that. I would have liked it. I think that's why I'm a little bit crazy today. Cause I think I hit an age where I realized I had to be my own pusher. And so I'm that voice in my head in a way that,

you know, I can be a worker. I could just work every second of my goddamn life. And I think it's because I hit an age where the desire to at the time do theater, I felt it so badly. And I was like, well, to do that, I'm gonna have to work my ass off because I haven't practiced anything.

And I had to become my own like neurotic voice of like, push yourself, come on. I had to become that for myself because my dad certainly wasn't. And I think it was his version of like, his family sounds like they were, I mean, his father sounds like he was a monster. And again, I'm only getting one angle of it.

I've never talked to a man who's loved him, but he had a second family that he left my dad's family for. There was physical abuse as often was and you know, Catholic schools, nuns hitting and I think my dad was like, I'm never gonna do that to my kids. And you think he overcorrected that overcorrected, but also like, I think he thought he was doing that, but he also was lazy and narcissistic. And so he thought like, it was very easy for him to go, oh, he doesn't like swimming,

as opposed to acknowledging, oh, I don't wanna do anything on a Saturday cause I'm depressed. And I think if I ever had a kid, it would be the opposite struggle of like, let them have fun, let them go, let them have fun, let them go, let them, let them go, go chill, let them relax.

Because I so wish someone had pushed me to, I don't know, stick with piano. I don't know, just do a sport, fucking A, like do a fucking athletic something, dance, I don't care. I'm in the middle of that with my daughter right now. Like she loves soccer and she's really good at soccer, but now she's doing gymnastics and she's really good at soccer, but now she's doing gymnastics and she's doing this cheer.

And she's like, I've been saying this, like she's like, she's in the back of the car the other day and she's like, did mom tell you we're not going to be able to do soccer this year? Because I was a soccer player and I love soccer. And I go, we're not? How come? She's like, well, because it overlaps with cheer and gymnastics. And I was like, okay.

She's like, okay. I go, okay. She's like, okay. I go, yeah. She's like, man, mom thought we were gonna have to have a family meeting. Oh really? Well, listen, bro, we've never had a family meeting. I go, this is what you think we're gonna have? I go, no, but I said that to her.

I go, here's the deal. I do want you to play a team sport. I want you to understand what it is to be a good teammate. I want you to understand what it is to be a good loser. Sure. I also want you to understand what it's like to have a teammate. I want you to understand what it is to be a good loser. Sure. I also want you to understand what it's like to have a shitty teammate, somebody that does let you down and that you can't count on.

I want you to know the difference between good coaches and hey, some bad ones. I want you to see where you're like, this coach sucks compared to the one we have. It's a microcosm of life and it's a commitment we're gonna make and there's a schedule and there's a routine and I want you to love it.

But the minute you and take it seriously and the minute you don't, then we're done. Yeah. We're not going to quit in the middle of it. We're going to ride it out. Sure. If you don't have a passion for it for the next season, okay, that's fine. Yeah. But we're here. We made a commitment. We're sticking to it. Yeah. And she's in all in and loves it. So now I just go to cheer and gymnastics. I don't give a shit. I just want her to be happy. I told her, you don't need to do shit.

I did. I don't care. Oh, gymnastics. If I wish I did gymnastics, if I could be one of those people that just like does a back flip and just can do it. And like it's been 10 years, I'm like, okay, let's do it.

Whoa. We always talk about the kid that could do the flip. There's always like one kid like, ah, anywhere you went, the kid did a flip and get a party started or whatever. Yeah. It's funny. I'm sure there's a phase like in the beginning, the moment they get that back flip,

they've become the most annoying human being in the face of the earth everywhere they go. Watch this guys. Yeah. There used to be a comedian, I can't remember who it was. And he would close the set with the back flip. Dylan Adler. I don't know. He does a back flip. I go back. Well, if he's still doing it, then it's not Dylan Adler. Cause that's what we taught her. I were like, bro, you ain't going to be able to keep closing on that.

Sure. Not forever. Sure. Sooner or later, you're facing the flip out. You know what I mean? You got to. Like it's cool closing out. And you were at the show where it finally didn't work, where he didn't quite make that flip on your back and knock out. Yeah. Oh man. But I, I'm with you. I hear you on that. I, that's interesting. So, so then you have to become your own, basically your own hustler and figure out how to turn on what that is. Turn that gear on and tell yourself to keep fucking going. Yeah. I think I just like too cold. You should have a shirt. You pulling too cold. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That cold. Yeah. Pulling that cold. And I only think it's because I loved, I loved performing so much that it made me just figure out how to become a worker for that.

So you found passion. I mean, that's a big part of it too. Like, Hey, I'll, this, I'll do this shit for free. I love this. Yeah. I was always into theaters from like, I knew I wanted to be a performer since I was so young. I feel like in first grade,

I would have told you like, I'm gonna be an actor. You never did plays or anything in elementary school? No, I did, I did some. I did like, but that's where I found it. Like I did, I did the Princess and the P and there was like one moment where I said, I love you to maybe the princess. And at the time all the guys would go like,

talking about girls and I did it on stage, like, you know, and I remember it got a laugh. I'll bet. And I wasn't, I didn't even consider myself a comedian. I really considered myself an actor. It wasn't until later, I really felt differently. But I remember that laugh. I remember in third grade, we did a French play

for French class, like during assembly called Strega Nona, which was a kid's book where the noodle maker will only teach women. And I wanted to learn, so I dressed up like a woman. And I put on that dress for this assembly and it just fucking crushed. I remember it crushed and it crushed so hard that they said, oh, let's have them put this on

for the middle, for the upper middle school. So that was the lower school crushed, kindergarten through fourth. And so then they had me perform it for the fifth through eighth graders. And it fucking tanked. And I remember, I remember I was like what? Save the comedy interesting.

And I'm in third grade so I don't understand. I'm like something, what the fuck is going on? This thing gets laughs. It really understanding the difference of that. And I had, before I was a standup comedian certainly, I had a couple plays in high school. I did a show called On the Razzle and I was the comedy butler, I was buttoned up.

And I remember we did a matinee, we were spawning. And at intermission, I started crying. And I said, why aren't they laughing? And it's like those lessons, I didn't even really make the connection to stand up until now, where it's like those lessons happened because I was a part of those things at such a young age.

You have it in your, the same way where they're like, ball control skills, it's the kid who's been doing it for 20 years, just casually. Like, I think that got in my DNA of the pain and the love of being a performer. Yeah, there's no doubt. There's no doubt.

And it's funny when you look back at life about how you realize like, oh, this was just prepping me for this. Like- I wish I could look, I feel so, I'm so mad at myself for going to college and for musical theater. Why?

Because- Where'd you go to college? University of Miami in Florida. Oh shit, you're a hurricane? Yeah, I went to one football game, we lost 39 to negative five and I never went back. What would make you go to a school like that though? There was a musical theater program

and there was a teacher who really, he was like, he brought me to the show when I visited and so you see that guy at the leading man, I want you to be the leading man here and I'm like coming in my chair and I didn't get into NYU. I only got into a couple conservatories. I didn't know that Miami has a good acting school. It had, I mean, I'll shit talk it. It had for a really brief second, it seemed like it might. It's no Juilliard. It's no, it's, it's, and then it kind of in my, like the head of the school left

and they had a new chair search. And so it really was in the worst chaotic element. And no, I would not say it has as a good program. There was a couple good teachers there for sure. But it was a mistake. It was a mistake. I wish I'd become a comedian earlier, you know? And I wish I could, I'm not someone who's able to just go, well, all those,

well, if you didn't do all those things up to 27, then you never would have been who you are today. I still long to have started down this path when I was younger. Starting at 27 still feels like, damn. That's when I started. Yeah. I mean, I told you outside, 20 I dabbled

and then life happened, I didn't get to start again until 27. And I wish I started earlier too. I feel like- When would you have wanted to be like Chappelle, 13 year old? No. When, what age?

No, I feel like, I mean, when I started at 20, I think that would have been fine if I'd kept going. Sure. I feel like I would have loved to have had that seven years of just again, stage experience, what a crowd experience before I came to LA. It would have been nice to have a seven year experience under my belt before I came here

and really started doing comedy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I wish I basically started standup. I did between junior and senior year of college, I did a class at Carolines, Carolines Comedy Club in New York. So I did like an acting school and I just did that. And then I went back to college,

I like did an hour of like the dirtiest hour for all my peers. Just every time I had fucked up to that point, it was going in the act. And it wasn't until years later that I realized standup was like right, was just kind of the thing that I was looking for. It took so long to find it.

So long. Yeah, but think about what you're dealing with in life before. People don't, I don't know, a lot of us don't give ourselves enough credit. We're going through so much to then be like, what do I wanna be? When you're just trying to be like, I want to, can I get to tomorrow as a person? What do you want to be in your group?

I don't fucking know. I just, I'm trying to figure out who the fuck I am today. Yeah. I want to do that again tomorrow and try to be a better thing at that. What do you mean? What do I want to be? Sure. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. You don't find it out till later. I think college is such a... Yeah, tell me about that. You want to go to these colleges because they really present it as you're going

to get real training. You're going to become like really talented. And then at the end, they never really explain how they're going to go from that to working in the business. And I think, first of all, some of these teachers, they do not have four years of curriculum in them, or you don't need three years of voice and speech classes three times a week. That's insane. They run out of things to do,

so they're just fucking around. And ultimately, college, the more important aspect is the community aspect of it. You're meeting people that are gonna be involved in your life, whether it's your direct career or your life or general, you're making that web. And to go to a small conservatory where you're gonna go and just get to know nine people

really well, seven of whom will no longer be in the industry that you're in at the end. It's such a waste. Um, and going away for four years as an artist, I just remember when I graduated and I, you know, I got some meeting with some fucking little manager and they said, you're a little bit old to have no TV credits. And I was like, well, it was impossible to have TV credits. And I'm sure they sucked. It doesn't matter, but they didn't set me up.

They didn't set me up for this world. And I needed to be meeting people, learning my lessons, not being stuck for four years. And arts degree is foolish, especially in today's world. And I'm of the era, a little bit before social media, but especially when social media hit, you go, no one cares about the training anymore. Now I still think people should be trained.

And I hope we all, I hope all our media fucking dips to a point that we all go, Jesus Christ, could someone train someone before they put them in front of a fucking camera? Everything I watch sucks right now. I hope we go back. But all that training for four years, being isolated and just trying to fulfill the will whims of a couple teachers who worked once in the 80s is a fool's errand. And you suddenly you're in New York with no one, no friends, no connections, no anything. And I loathe it.

I think the arts is too unstable of a business and too chaotic to spend four years anywhere. I love training, two years, two years tops. Bro, listen, I'm with you on the college thing. I love training two years two years tops bro. Listen I'm with you on the college thing like I Went to college. I've got a four-year bachelor of science because I fucking even in mass comm I Started as a I wanted to do physical therapy So I started with human anatomy physiology all these classes and I was like man fuck this shit Switch the mass comm and I ended up with a bachelor

of science instead of arts. And I'm lucky to work in what I do. Most people don't even work in the major that they major in when they get out. So I told my daughter's mom, we talked about it. And I was like, I don't know about college. Like if my daughter wants to be a doctor or a lawyer, something that you have to go to college for, 100%.

But if she wants to be an artist or an entrepreneur, I would rather, cause I did community college for two years, got the associates degree, then went on to the four year. I 100% agree. I think it depends what kind of kid- Two years is it. Yeah, yeah.

Again, these are institutions that have to pay bills, all that shit. So they overdo and you're taking these courses, blah, blah, blah. But if I could go back and do it again, I would have gone two years and I would have made myself a little more well rounded. I would have gone and taken maybe a business course. I could learn a little bit finance instead of just all diving into this one thing. It's like, well, what I'm, I of just all diving into this one thing. It's like, well, what I'm,

I don't know shit about this over here. My dad told me to take an accounting class and I was college from musical theater. I said, absolutely not. I need to take, I need to take ballet 301. Are you insane? 301. I need to take ballet 301.

And if there's one thing, I don't think I've ever told him and I really should. If there's one thing that he was right on the money, it was like, I should have taken a fucking accounting class. It is bad, dude. It is bad. I can't believe it. By 40s, I just started learning.

I was like, I don't even know what to do with this stuff. I would have loved to take a business. I would have loved to take some sort of entrepreneur class. Any of those, I would have just, who cares business. I would have loved to take some sort of entrepreneur client, any of those. I would have just, who cares about like, I just had this goal and you got to get that paper, that certificate that says we did this. Yeah. No, you fucking don't.

Yeah. And here's the other thing. I want to go back to a point you made, like for this agent or manager who said you're a little old to not have any TV credits. Okay. Right. Sure. Yeah. And now what the fuck's TV? Of course.

What's TV? Of course. You see where life goes. What's TV? Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't even need them.

I got YouTube right here. What do you mean TV? Of course. It's over. So that also just shows you that no one really knows where the fuck anything's going. But that's why I feel a kind of an anger

towards the institution of musical theater degrees. Unless you're a college where like, you know, you go to Michigan, that showcase everyone's gonna be there and you could start a career. But anything that less than that, I go, you are lying about what you're able to provide over the course of four years.

You're bullshitting me a little bit and you're not going to prep. You're not going to prep me. And I remember they would do shit where like there was a woman who got who got onto So You Think You Can Dance and she was in the ensemble of Hello Dolly and they were like, well you can't do it because you're in the ensemble of Dolly. And you look back and you're like, you fuck, how fucking dare you? She's on the big one of the biggest reality shows right now and you were saying you need to be in the ensemble of Hello Dolly and you look back and you're like, you fuck how fucking dare you. She's on the big one of the biggest reality shows right now. And you were saying you need to be in the ensemble of Hello Dolly. Go fuck yourself. And there's there's those kinds of micro things that that I go.

These institutions, they need to be broken apart or we really need to be honest about it because high schools were at least mine. They didn't specialize in arts degrees, so they didn't know how to inform my parents. My parents don't know what the fuck's going on. I think I know what's going on because I'm a kid and I want to pursue this and I get tricked. I think we were duped and I feel a lot of resentment at those schools. I would love to be hired or to make a speech or maybe I'll just do it one day of telling

like high schoolers, like, hey, you wanna get into the arts. Let's just explore what the array of options are. From someone who like, and again, I might as well probably dated, it would be better if I was 24, but someone needs to warn these kids that a lot of these four year programs

are them just gonna go into debt, getting older in an industry that just values youth and that there's a certain aspects of these four year programs are them just gonna go into debt, getting older in an industry that just values youth and that there's a certain aspects of a four year program that they are wasting their time and ugh. Well, look, I can't tell you how many people I went to college with that I was no parents, I'm fully supporting myself. They're like, are you claimed on your parents' taxes?

I'm like, no, I'm not. I had to fight to be an individual in my community college. Once I established myself as an individual, I watched all these other students that got the financial aid and stuff and the free books and stuff never show up. I knew him, I knew her, they're not in class, but I'm here. I'm here every fucking day and I'm doing it consistently. And you're not

giving me the fucking same respect or help that I deserve because why? Right? Yeah. So then you go, like you say, you're in debt for it. It's just a I don't know. It's, it's an archaic system. I think that any person who would say, well, you have to have this piece of paper to work for me. Well, again, that bum over there that showed up half the time, he might've squeaked by with that piece of paper.

You're gonna take that guy over this guy or lady who fucking hustles, who's really gonna show up. I'm with you. I'm nervous about college. I'm nervous about it. And I had two siblings, two of my younger siblings. They were in college during COVID and my God, did they get fucked

and they had to spend still so much money, the break, the amount of money they took off for your fucking Zoom college was humiliating. Like that people didn't revolt then. Bro, don't even get me started. I was a home school teacher't revolt then. Makes you go. Bro don't even get me started. I was a home school teacher during the pandemic. Yeah.

And all you parents who did it, we should have 100% had a tax write off. All of a sudden I'm a teacher now? Give me a tax break. Can I get a 10% fucking tax break for that? I gotta stay home and teach my kid? Like, fuck you. Dude, thank you very much for doing this.

Hey, I had a great time. It's been a pleasure to talk to you, I love your passion. And as I mentioned to you off camera before, I ask everybody advice, and this is gonna be interesting because you've thrown out a few regrets and things here. So, advice you'd give to 16 year old you. Yeah, I mean, I already did the college one in full.

You really did. I think it's really about to do something athletic and to like find something I enjoyed. I came close with dance dance revolution. Like that was the closest I got to like, I was moving. But I just, I hated sports because I was so bad. I was just, it's sometimes you look back, you're like, yeah, I hated it of course,

cause I couldn't do it at all. And it's like just to find something physical, maybe yoga, but something- Swimming could have really been good. Swimming could have been great. They would get a fucking heater for that pool. I'd be there, but it's too cold. You've got a swimmer's body.

I think I have sensitive skin. I really do. I want to get tested because I really do think it's worse than other people. It really is. But yeah, I do do do something. Do some it doesn't have to be a traditional sport. I think that was the problem is I viewed it as like, it's got to be soccer or baseball or basketball and I suck at aiming. Do you think it's too late now to pick up pickleball or something like that that's really hot for you right now? I should, but it's one of those things where it's like, I do yoga and stuff. Like the moment I do an athletic thing, that's when I get injured immediately

because my body's not used to it. I dream about basketball. I think it would be a lot of fun, but maybe martial arts. I want to learn how to fight. That would be, I gotta learn how to fight. I gotta learn. Why? Are you planning on getting your ass whooped here

in the coming days? Because my girlfriend's like, she's a fighter. Is she? And not trained, but by the streets. Yeah. Before I knew it, someone stole her phone and ran. She tackled him to the ground and got it back. Listen, I'm not even doing that. I don't mind fighting, but I'm like, you can have that, Malibar.

But I know she's going to, one day, there'll be a confrontation. And the expectation is that I'm the warrior. And that's what I got to get ready for. All right. Yeah. It's great advice. to get ready for. All right. Yeah. It's great advice. Promote whatever you'd like again. Find me everywhere at John Marco Sarese. Torn all over the country constantly.

And my podcast, listen to it. The downside on my YouTube or Spotify or anywhere you get podcast. The downside with Joe Marco Sarese. All right, man. Thank you very much. Thank you. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Come see me on tour. Tickets are on my website. We'll talk to you all next week. You