The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Hanna Dickinson - The Wrong Virus

Episode Date: October 19, 2020

My HoneyDew this week is Hanna Dickinson! Hanna has a new standup special on Epix and unfortunately, she also has a new virus. Hanna recently dated a man who lied to her and gave her genital herpes - during Corona! Hanna messed around and caught the wrong virus! This is a great, educational episode and I appreciate Hanna for coming on and being so open, honest and funny! Check out her special! SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube and watch full episodes of The HoneyDew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler SUBSCRIBE to my Patreon show, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I highlight the lowlights with y’all! What’s your story? https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew Sponsors: HONEY It’s simple: if you have a computer, Honey should be on it. It’s free and works with whatever browser you use. You can get Honey for free today at JoinHoney.com/HONEYDEW UPSTART See why Upstart has a 4.9 out of 5 rating on Trustpilot and hurry to Upstart.com/honeydew to find out HOW LOW your Upstart rate can be. Checking your rate only takes a few minutes! EXPRESS VPN If you don’t like the idea of tech companies exploiting your personal information, then visit ExpressVPN.com/HONEYDEW right now, and you can get three extra months of ExpressVPN for free LIQUID I.V. Get 25% off Liquid I.V. when you go to LIQUIDIV.COM and use code HONEYDEW at checkout HELIX Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for my listeners at HelixSleep.com/honeydew.

This episode of The Honeydew is brought to you by Honey, Liquid IV, Helix, Upstart, and ExpressVPN. More on that later. Let's get into the do. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We are over here doing it in the Night Pant Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media. Look, I say it every week and I mean it every week. Thank you for your support.

Thank you for helping the show. People ask, what can we do? What can we do? Look, the best thing to do is to engage with the sponsors, support the sponsors. That's what you can do. All right, there's a lot of free ways to help the show tell people about it all that good stuff you guys are great make sure you're subscribed to the youtube uh channel um audio monday video every tuesday

make sure if you're subscribed to the patreon show it's growing guys i i do the show called the honeydew with y'all where i highlight the low lights with y'all and uh we have heard some fucking stories it's y'all delivering that's for damn sure it's five bucks a month there's no tears no levels none of that shit it's it's five bucks a month it's 60 bucks a year i know that's a lot of money for some people i get it it's a it's a utility bill it's a whatever but if you're looking for more content that's where you can get it also uh if you or someone you know has a story you think that needs to be heard email me at honeydewpodcast at gmail.com hopefully we can do an episode with you all right honeydewpodcast.com that's the website get your merch thank you for supporting night pants nation y'all are out there looking good, looking comfy.

And I record here at the Santa Monica Music Center. So whether you live in L.A. or not, you can absolutely still get online music lessons here at the Santa Monica Music Center. Go to SantaMonicaMusic.com. Use the code HONEYDOO. They'll waive the registration fee and give you a free lesson when you sign up for a package. Now, that's all the biz uh and you know what we do i say all the time we highlight the low lights and uh these are the stories behind the storytellers and it is a pleasure to have this storyteller here today first time here on the honeydew ladies and gentlemen welcome hannah dickinson everybody thank you welcome welcome welcome um first of all thank you for Welcome Hannah Dickinson, everybody. Thank you. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.

First of all, thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. You got it. I met you on. So you have an epic special, which we're going to talk about coming out. I produced on it and I got to sit and interview. I mean, it was supposed to be 20, 20 comedians, Eric Abrams, but it was upwards of like probably 30. So are they

gonna cut some of us no nobody's getting cut they're adding you in that's why they kept adding people um but congrats on that by the way thank you but i got to do pre-interviews with everyone and then i got to sit down on set with everyone and basically do what we're gonna do today with all of you guys and you're you just made me laugh so fucking hard you're just one of those people that gets it and i was like yes what a refreshing take on everything shitty so thank you for being here i'm very excited to talk to you today but before we get into it in addition to your special that's coming or maybe out at this point we're not sure yet because we're recording ahead but

everything you want to promote please i have a podcast called don't tell mom where i kind of just talk about shit because i started it when i was living in my mom's basement when we started quarantine and um i was like texting with this guy and i was in miami right before we hit quarantine and uh i texted him i've been drinking again because i don't drink but i drank in miami because we're in miami and um i texted this guy who i had never met before like hey thinking i was texting my brother because that's how drunk i was i go don't tell mom and the guy was like aren't you 28 i was like yeah that was the end of that one but so i was like oh i should just make that a podcast.

Just talk about shit that my mom doesn't want to hear. And I seem to fall into bad, not bad situation. I don't know. You've got that knack. There's no doubt. Like sitting and talking to you, I would have to agree with you that you stumble and you do step in some dog shit. Yeah, it's incredible my friend was like do you think you do comedy because shit happens to you or do you think you

make shit happen to you because you do comedy i'm like i don't know because i it's all i feel like it always like weird shit happens but maybe i'm also all right before we get into what i wanted to talk to you about right off the top what's some of the stuff from your podcast like don't tell mom the shit that your mom like would just die if she heard or knew what's the craziest thing on there well i talk a lot of my guests have crazy stories they've been to rehab and so i've never been to rehab but that's only because i can't afford it um it's like you know we looked out it's just like a private school a you know what i mean i can't afford it uh i also don't you know i'm fine i just uh i don't know i got like a matching tattoo on a first date that says snm on a first date on a first date where i have a bathing suit on i don't

know if this is appropriate and he got in the same spot yeah of course magic tattoo in the magic location yeah and his boobs are bigger than mine i will say that so on a first date we're actually still friends which is interesting but uh and then i i when i moved to la when i was in college i i thought I was going to do a Playboy mansion. I thought I was going to be like a hostess. I thought I was invited. But it turned out to be a scam.

And I was just in like the valley and like a two-story house with a bunch of Persian dudes. It just got really weird. Wait, what? I like replied to a casting thing to be like a host at the mansion. And it was by a Playboy casting guy. So I thought I was going to the mansion. Yeah.

But I just ended up in like a single family home in the mansion. And it was by a Playboy casting guy. So I thought I was going to the mansion. Yeah. But I just ended up in like a single family home in the valley with a bunch of Persian dudes. They were all taking drugs. Why did you have to get a rancher? It was like. And this was before Uber. So my friend dropped me off and I was like. By yourself? You didn't even take a friend?

No, I did take a friend. And she was so mad at me um so what happens you walk in listen this is what we're gonna do fuck it you and i are just you're just gonna go what's rightful one after the other because you we don't have to go in a linear life story you're originally from where virginia all right virginia that's what it was virginia i remember but i also i spent time my parents they grew up a little bit in new orleans and i feel like that sounds better yeah okay it sounds more it makes more sense because my life is chaotic it's not chaotic i don't know it is a little chaotic it is a little it's a little chaotic yeah all right so you are now

dropped off at what you're expecting to go to the Playboy Mansion, but you're in the Valley. Where in the Valley do you remember? Like Porn Deep. I don't know. Chatsworth out there? Yeah. Yeah.

It was like not good. And you went in? Well, because my friend dropped us off and I was like, oh, maybe they're going to take us. We did. So it was like party at the supper club after party at the mansion and this is where we're meeting so i'm thinking this is the pre-game this is the pre-game but i get there and it's like girls who are like questionably 18 you know what i mean oh really

yeah how old were you at the time uh 19 okay um yeah it was definitely like a sex trafficking sitch what it felt like it. There were girls in like Victoria's Secret pink underwear, which is like the teen version. You know what I mean? It's like I was in a dress, but there was one girl who was in this like get up lingerie. And she had she it was all these buckles. And then she like didn't fully wipe her butt. So it was just like it was insane. What are you talking about?

What do you mean? What am I talking about? I don't. What do you mean she didn't fully wipe her butt? She had poop on her butt. it was just like it was insane what are you talking about what do you mean what am i talking about i don't she didn't fully wipe her butt she had poop on her butt on it yes you it was just like on her butt she walked by and it's on her ass yes and she's wearing a full white get up i'm like how did you get every buckle intact and you couldn't fully wipe your ass that might be the tactic for keeping people away from you in a situation like that i mean wipe shit on yourself i i yeah i don't so how many what's the ratio of men to women male to let's not even say women because you said question yeah it was like girls between the ages of like 16 to 58. Like it was like insane.

There was like. 58? It was crazy. It was like older women who, it was just, it was. And they're just walking around in lingerie? Mm-hmm. And doing what? Is there music going?

There's music going on. There were warm handles of vodka smearing off. Warm. Yeah, it was bad. That hot Warm. Yeah, it was bad. That hot ass vodka. Yeah, it was like gross. I mean, I still had a cocktail, but I'm like shitting on it. I'm like, I still did drink from it.

And that's how I knew it was warm. But they had like baggies of like powder that people were doing. They were dancing with these guys. They were like sitting on their laps. These guys are wearing silk shirts and they're like sweating through their shirts and i'm there thinking i don't even know why i thought like going to a playboy mansion would be exciting i guess it was just because it was i hadn't done anything i didn't know what i wanted to do i hadn't started stand-up yet so i was like oh i want to be in the la scene so i i thought going to playboy mansion i was like am i going to be Hugh Hefner's girlfriend?

Which is insane. That's how confident I was at the time. Nothing wrong with that confidence. Yeah, and then I started saying I'm comedy. And you're like, ooh! Let me bring you back down there. Yeah, let me just... Yeah, that was...

That's very humbling. Because I had recently lost like 25 pounds. So I was like really like, oh, I'm a model. And I'm not. And so we ended up like getting in these limos that were like truly town cars. So how many men do you think were running this thing that night? 10? 5?

Not a lot. 10 dudes. And how many women do you think? Like 40. God damn. Yeah. All in one house yeah all in one house all in one house and now you're getting in limos this is crazy shit right here yeah so you still get in the limo because i was like how the fuck are we gonna get back we didn't have uber or anything and i wasn't

about to lose my pride and call my friend to pick us back i'd rather lose your life yeah i was like i would rather die than have my friend think i'm not a fucking your life yeah i was like i would rather die than have my friend think i'm not a fucking playboy bunny i was like i'm gonna i am hot all right so i was like this sounds like a scam and i was like why because i'm because i can't be a playboy but like i was like why why is it a scam because i'm not hot enough and um she was absolutely correct i love that you can admit it. Yeah, it was just like looking back. And then so we get in limo and they're like, okay, we're going to the mansion.

So I'm like, oh, we're going to stop at the mansion before the supper club. And this was a house in the hills, which also the mansion is in Beverly Hills. It's off of Beverly Glen. I just rode by it the other day. I've been to it twice. I've been to it twice. Well, relax. I've been to it twice. Yeah, I didn't even look it up that's how dumb i am i didn't even look it up where it was beforehand

so we're in the hollywood hills and it's another big house and these girls are like so now you go from the valley up to the hills and you're in a limo with how many people probably like 15 so they're probably three limos. Three limos. Yeah. And it's like a couple guys and all these ladies of different age. Where's the girl with the shit on her? I hope she's not in your car. She was not in my car. Yeah, obviously.

I was like, I'm not taking her car. I'm not sharing a seat with that girl. So I was like, yeah, so I get in this other limo. And this guy puts his arm around me and he's wearing a gray silk shirt and he just has like sweat stains right here under his titties right where his snm tat would go yeah exactly right that's where yeah it was actually that guy who i had we ended up going on a date no he puts his arm around me and i'm like like i don't know what to do right because i don't want to i don't know if they're carrying weapons like at this point i don't know i don't want to piss them off but like i also don't want to be touched by

this like dude and he offers me a like a little literal like ziploc baggie of like powder and i'm like and you don't know if it's coke or what yeah and i'm like a drug person. I just, they freak me out. I have bad anxiety, so it's just not worth it. So I didn't do that. But then we got out going to this new mansion, and my friend and I hid in a bush outside the house for probably an hour while our other friend came and picked us up. Nah. Yeah.

So good, you didn't go in there. No, because I was like watching these girls and they're like in heels like trying to walk up this hill and i'm like these girls are gonna fucking die or you know and it felt scary but they were still on board that was the craziest part like me and my friend were the only people who were like like this is like not this is crazy but these girls really thought it was a playboy thing or i think they were just like like to party you know i i think they were like oh we're with these guys who have a lot of money and that's cool and that is yeah i i went to usc so i was like i've been in enough sketchy

situations with guys who like have a lot of money where i know this is just not gonna be cool also the they had smirnoff i'm like obviously they don't have that much money they're not like rocking gray goose or like anything like that and also the limos were like not these are dotsons man what the fuck yeah i i mean i sound stuck up but i was just thinking in my head like it this is just so it felt like it's typical la story of someone who moves la and they're like wait i guess this is a porno like you're like just suddenly doing anal you know it's like how did i get here so i was like we need to get out of here my friend's like, how did I get here? So I was like, we need to get out of here. My friend's like, I'm in business school, Hannah. She kept saying that. Hannah, I'm in business school.

And I was like, sorry, like maybe you should have like assessed the risks or whatever business people do. So I was like, why are you mad at me? You agreed to come to this shit. She was like, you told me this was a Playboy party. I was like, told me this was a playboy party i was like i don't know so yeah that was a crazy yeah that was a wild experience but i luckily like you know we caught on immediately but i also felt so dumb because i like told my friends you know like i'm going to playboy party then you had to go back and tell them yeah well I just told them that I got sick and didn't go.

Obviously. I wasn't about to tell them that. I got my hair blown out for that, which I did. Got my hair blown out. I didn't eat for two days. I was on a juice cleanse. I got my nails done. I got my pussy waxed. I was fully ready to get this shit in.

I was like, I'm going to be a fucking girlfriend. Watch out. I was like i like laughed like oh my god like i'm about to be on tv like i'm about to be hugh hefner's girlfriend like do i like not sign a lease on my apartment if i'm gonna move into the mansion like i fully had this thought is that always something you wanted to do no i just like attention i think and just and would you have been okay with being one of the like 10 girls or whatever it is? Of Hugh Hefner's girlfriend?

I'm always one of the 10. So at least this way. You got a side bitch shirt on. Yeah, I'm literally wearing a side bitch shirt. Like I don't, I'm never, I'm never like one, the one. I'm always the one of 10. So yeah, I think I would have been chill with it in that house by a pool at least he owns a pool i've been to it yeah why did you go i uh one lady in the building i

live with worked with him and was like took care of his animals and i called her on her bullshit i was like you don't work there she's like come tomorrow and i went and i got in and another time was just a friend his sister was like biz marquee's business manager some shit and he was dj in the party and we went there i got in twice yeah wow i wish i'd known you then i would have told you it ain't where they're taking you that's drew hefner over there yeah exactly some bullshit mansion up in the hills but yeah it was just a weird they probably rented you know probably not theirs it sounds like everything was like a night they probably didn't even rent fully

right it was they probably pulled their money together to get three limos cheap alcohol and a mansion and then tell a bunch of ladies this is some playboy shit and get you all up there and see what they can get you're 100 right yeah i think he was like i'm like no i already sounds i was like i think he was a legitimate casting director uh because he had he had the logo in his but you can get that off google i don't know why off of google yeah i'm not i don't know why i'm like trying to defend this guy like suddenly but yeah that was one of and i don't do that i think it was just like i don't know why i did it to be honest every step of the way sounds terrifying to me every step of the way for sure and i i but i was also you know 19 i thought it was really cool and i just wanted to go to the playboy mansion and i think just check it out and take

photos you know by the you know whatever the what does he call it the grotto yeah the grotto yeah so i was like fully excited to do that and then it just turned south so quick and i was like oh god i did i was like who knows who you're gonna meet you never know i'll always be prepared and uh you all watch yeah it was like oh you're too much you really do make me laugh let's take a quick break and tell you about our first sponsor helix now i recently got a hel mattress. I put the bed together with my daughter. We put the mattress on. I made it a whole thing with her.

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about what happened to you recently because i really your take on this and your attitude toward it i think is very healthy oh the herpes what a transition what a transition i was trying to go gentle yeah it's like uh i tell that story that i'm like i have herpes and also you do have a library of stories so in your defense you're like you might not know what the fuck I was talking about. No, I knew it was the herpes. It's all this. Tell me about it.

Let's talk about this. Yeah, I just, I was, the thing about. You met a guy, right? Yeah, I met a guy and we were dating. Before quarantine. So this is the thing. I lied. Obviously obviously i love getting the real well because i just like my i was seeing him in dc when quarantine first started it was like at

the beginning and my parents like didn't care i was like going to see someone like they knew i was kind of but i didn't want them to i guess whatever um i i just we were seeing each other very i just didn't want i guess i didn't want it to seem like i was seeing someone in quarantine which i was but also it was like we were just seeing each other wasn't like we were going you know what i mean i wasn't going out to big parties but we were just seeing each other and i was dating him while living in my parents basement so it was just like this weird experience in my so where so where were you right before quarantine hit i was in new york okay and then you decide to go to your parents because new york got it was bad right yeah my parents were like please come here like we don't

want you in new york so then i i quarantined fully for two weeks and did that and then i started seeing this person how'd you meet him just online yeah just online um and then yeah we like we're hanging out and it's funny because i talked to my therapist and i was like yeah he's so nice like he was such a nice guy and he is a nice guy i just think he's actually stupid but i he was so nice and he was like i like you and i've never had someone before be so open about how they felt about me like he was like he went home he's like i watched all your stand-up like i i he was very like interested in my career which sounds very pathetic that i'm like isn't that crazy uh but it was it felt very different than what i've experienced of guys treating me like dog shit.

And then one night we didn't have a condom. And I was like, well, when was the last time you were tested? And he told me he got tested. He recently got tested and he hadn't seen anyone because of quarantine. Because this was probably like a month in, a month and a half in. I was like, oh, OK. And I believed him because he was such a nice guy. But he also didn't what the results he just said i got tested he didn't say he was like i he was like i got tested i don't have anything okay and then i haven't seen anyone and then i was like

okay great and because he had been such a nice guy i was i believed him you know like it didn't I believed him, you know, like it didn't. And so we hooked up and then he went out of town for like four days and I got really, really sick because with herpes you get sick, you get a virus. And what kind of sick are you like fever and all that? So you think it's Corona? I think it's Corona. This is why it's so different when we talked about it before.

Yeah, because now you're thinking you got Corona. Yeah. And I just like didn't want people to be like i don't know i guess it now i'm saying it but i just felt like adding that element to the i don't know i don't know why i lied i guess i was just nervous what people would say um but here i am but you get a virus yeah so i get a virus and my parents are not the corona just not i'm like how did i literally caught the wrong virus i was like how is corona the wrong fire how corona so easy to catch uh herpes baby that is like so easy i was like the wrong virus so i go get corona tested i get strep tested they're like no like it's clear and i you go right i mean you start feeling this right away. These symptoms are like two days after two days.

And it was weird. Like I remember in my basement, I felt like a weird, like illness, like shoot up my spine. I'm like, Oh, I feel really sick.

And then I'm like, Oh my God. I'm like, it just like hit me. It literally like hit me. And I was like, Oh my God, I need to lie down.

And then I, I go to lie down. And so for a week I can't get out of bed and and how quickly do you go get tested so this is another element to it i have really bad eczema like all over my body so i get bad eczema in my butt crack is this inappropriate it's it's you girl so i didn't like it hurt when I took a shit. Sorry. But I was like, oh, my eczema is getting so bad. And I didn't look because I couldn't get out of bed. So I was just not eating.

So I wouldn't have to shit because it hurt so bad. Oh, my God. So I lost 10 pounds, which like body by herpes. I've been like spending so much. I've been spending thousands of dollars on SoulCycle and Barry's Boot Camp. And then I catch herpes and I'm like Alright well I'm down 10 guys

Yeah I'm like texting my coaches I'm like don't worry I lost weight Don't worry I lost weight So I can't get out of bed And so I text him I start texting this guy I'm like hey I'm like really sick did you get Corona because this is like Before I got my Corona test he's like no that's so weird And then when my Corona test was done so i texted i started texting this guy i'm like hey i'm like really sick did you get corona because this is like before i got my corona test he's like no that's so weird and then when my corona test

was negative i was like texting him i was like hey are you sure you don't have anything because like i'm like very ill so how quickly did your corona results come back four days it took four days so and still you're still really ill during that four days yeah like extremely ill and he's not like bedridden ill like bedridden wow couldn't get out of bed like i didn't leave bed for three days damn yeah i slept like 20 hours a day like i couldn't or maybe 15 18 hours a day i couldn't move i didn't know this was a part of it so it's not for guys really it's mostly for women so he didn't get hit with the flu. Like, a lot of people don't. It really depends.

So that, I was like, okay. And then I, like, went to pee one day, and I was like, okay, that, that hurt. So then I take a photo of my vagina, and I was like, no, that is, that's not good like that's that's gotta be it looked like a fucking jackson polak it was like fucking insane it was insane and at this point it's like crawling down my legs because i hadn't looked so what it's like down my legs at this point like like chicken pox okay i mean listen i'm glad you said that because I had a roommate, and not to stop your story, but he got a prostitute. He went to a massage parlor, had sex with a prostitute, swears he used a condom.

I still don't think he did. Definitely did not. And listen, the next day, I'm telling you, people are like, no, the next morning. Now, here's the other thing I've thought about. Maybe he had gone a week prior also. Maybe it was that, but I'm telling you, it was a Sunday night that Monday morning. And he's like, can I show you? I'm like, I don't want to see it. And he's like, it's not just let me show you. And he pulled up his shorts and it was in like his groin, like the skin and coming down his leg a little bit.

And I was like, man, you should go. Here's my doctor. Go see him now. And he did. And he had he had it. But it was it was like chicken. It looked like chicken pox, like red. And but I didn't know it could just get on your skin like that.

Yeah, it does happen like literally the next day. Yeah. And he was sweaty and like he was sick. Like you said, I remember. But not bedridden for three days. So that's the difference day. Yeah. And he was sweaty and like, he was sick. Like you said, I remember, but not bedridden for three days or so may. That's the difference. I guess you said it,

it affects women differently. Yeah, I guess. Cause it's, what do you mean down your legs? What do you do? I just start freaking out and I'm, I'm texting him and he was texting me literally every day,

like three times a day. And then as soon as I tell him, I'm like starting to feel sick. like his texts start like going away. He stops kind of responding and I'm getting so nervous. And finally I text him. I was like, I think you gave me AIDS just to get a response. Something just to hate. And he was like, are you kidding me?

Like, you think I gave you AIDS? And I was like, well, you gave me something. So i gave you aids and i was like well you gave me something so how about you start telling me the truth and he doesn't respond and then i was like okay i'm going to get tested this morning it doesn't respond i get tested no response to that no response and then so i go to the doctor and she's like yeah that's herpes i'm also wearing this shirt by the way like i didn't swear to god because i had stayed up all night i didn't sleep that night before because i was looking at vaginas like i'm a full-blown gynecologist at this point and so i wear a sweatshirt and i go to the doctors i take

it off and she's like yeah that's herpes like i don't even need like to get in there like i see it and um she's like you have to get a blood test to figure out which type type one or type two wait you got a herpes test in a side bitch t-shirt i wasn't aware of what i was wearing okay i wasn't aware i was just like so tired i was so and i don't have a lot of clothes i got this shirt from miami i just wore it on and then i'm like are you fucking kidding me and i'm like so she tells me i have herpes and i just start bawling crying main bitch probably got a two day you know exactly all ten of the side bitches have it literally i was like yeah i actually got the shit from him too so she just

was like yeah i don't you got it yeah and of course i start crying because it's like, you know, devastating. Yeah. And then she was like, honestly, like I know it's devastating, but it is very like the problem with herpes is like the mental, like the stigma and how we treat it as a society because it, it, you get sick the first time, but if I'm now taking a medication every day so I don't get another outbreak and if I were to get another outbreak it could be bad but i wouldn't feel sick so you don't get you build up antibodies so i don't know i'm not defending the disease uh i'm not trying to make it sound better than it is but no but i like normalizing it more than you're right it is a stigma i mean i've had girls had to tell me they've had it and uh i'm fortunate i don't but they've had to tell me and then you know they also tell me they know it you know what i mean they've had it so

apparently they can feel it coming you know you you know when you're if you're gonna have an outbreak and and then when you don't you know you use protection and you know you're both safe yeah because you can't transfer unless you're having an outbreak but there is also a period before oh wait so you can have unprotected sex as long as you're not having an outbreak and it won't transfer i just thought it had to do with i'm an idiot i'm not a scientist or anything i just thought fluids and you can get it period no it's like lesion contact so it's like but there is a weak shedding period before so you just have to be really careful like i know a comic who has it i won't say who but they were telling me like

it was like my wife and i have unprotected sex all the time and like he i she hasn't gotten it because you just have to be really aware of like your body and know when it's coming or she was like i haven't had an outbreak in three years so we do have unprotected sex because you can't it's lesion once it's skin to skin contact so it's like so once someone's the outbreak is there then you can just rub it against somebody and get it yeah exactly so wait so then he did he had an outbreak then when you had sex with him that's what's crazy is i he would have had to right yeah but i didn't see it, but I didn't also take a microscope out and look at his dick. And also, it could have been under his dick. I don't really know.

Can people be asymptomatic to that? Yes, but then you can't transfer it if you're asymptomatic. Oh. Because HPV, I know they say guys can have it and never have one. Not even know you have it. Like, we could all have it, not even know we have it. Exactly. For guys.

Yeah, exactly. And women too with HPV, it's like, how do you. So you, you said to me before we started recording that someone had started a support group. Yeah. My friend who's a comic, who's female i called my friend like put us in con because i was very depressed but i'm still kind of sad about it you know like yeah i mean it's a you know you trusted someone that you liked who lied to you clearly and he had an out so what i'm saying is from what i've because i also have a friend um a married couple and the same thing

she has it he doesn't but she said i know when they're coming i can feel them i take medication the same thing he's never got it they've been married for 10 years or whatever you know maybe longer actually um but if that's the case then he knew he had it he must have known so he had an outbreak he didn't know he had now he claims uh he says that he so when i was like you need to be honest with me right now because i told i threatened to get a lawyer involved like i was so pissed i was like i know you're fucking lying to me like stop we like at this point i have it and if you didn't have it before now you definitely have it so like just be honest like we need to figure this out and

he's like okay like i actually slept with like four girls or whatever right before you. And I was like, Jesus Christ. Like and I was like all unprotected. And he was like, yeah. And then he goes and there's this one suspect sketchy girl that I think gave it to me. And I go, fuck you, dude. Like how he knew. Yeah, he knew the girl and everything.

And I was like, but also like, why are you calling her suspect and sketchy? Now we're fucking suspect and sketchy. So don call her that that pissed me off too i was like don't say that because you just did now we're that person and i don't want to be sketchy and um so i just reamed him out and he was like you gotta go easy on me like i just found out i got herpes too and i was like you're such a fucking loser but you don't even know if that's true he could have had this shit for 10 years he's gonna say he just got it you don't know now you see the way i am i don't believe anything you're telling me oh yeah i was like i just know you're a piece of shit you gave it to me you knew you had an outbreak and gave it to me i was so i was so angry and so depressed and then

so my friend was like because when i was waiting for i've been here for a little bit and she was like oh like are you on bumble are you i'm like no i'm not any of those fucking apps like no that's gotten me nowhere except fucking herpes and like also i'm in la for a month so i'm not gonna start a relationship with someone and i'm also not gonna like have sex with anyone and she was like i think you gotta talk to this one comic because she has a tooth so she like said an intro about how we should hang out and talk because she has herpes and my friend was like nice intro like it's such a weird thing to be like you guys should talk um but she was like yeah i started this support group you should join so i did this zoom herpes support group

hold on i don't know why in my mind i thought y'all got together no no we're you know we already have one virus we don't need two so we're not getting together we don't imagine having a covid outbreak and a herpes outbreak meeting you all got corona at the herpes meeting she's like yeah i mean they are prone to viruses so why would you get together but it was so sad it was like i was like uh it's a zoom meeting for are these all comedians or just this group she put together it's all women uh it was all no it's co-ed but it was all women and of course one dude i'm like yeah hot guys don't get tested. Like, of course, there's no guys in a herpes sub-group.

They don't know they have herpes. They're just handing it out. Like, how do you think we got here? Like, and, of course, there's one girl in there who's so hot. She's, like, the hottest girl I've ever seen in my life. She's like, yeah, I've actually never been rejected when I told a guy I had herpes. And I was like, obviously. Like, you could have full-blown aids

and guys would be like double penetrating you like but i was like why are you here uh but she was the only like optimistic one and another girl who the thing that made me depressed was a girl who literally looked like me she was like a six and she she's a long way down the hill from you have this girlfriend yeah right i'm like i go from fucking one mansion to a zoom i was like yeah this is from your parents basement yeah oh no this is a pool house with cockroaches it's all just a nightmare i'm like yeah i don't i was so grossed out by a cockroach i was so grossed out by the cockroaches and then i was like well you know i got fucking herpes so um but this one girl was like yeah she was just saying that she every the thing is to tell guys on the fifth date i guess that's the wait till the fifth date why five because you want to like

make sure they like you and like um you want to build a relationship with someone before which i'm like that sounds exhausting like i'm not doing that um so she said every time in the past year she's told a guy on the fifth date they've like like not responded or like stopped talking to her and it made me so depressed because i was just like oh fuck like that sucks that yeah that does suck and it sucks too because it's like we're trying to be honest about it and people are like when it's like a lot of people do have it and refuse to get tested one because you can be asymptomatic and have in your blood and you might fucking have it so um if you don't get tested you

don't know because a lot of doctors won't take i don't know why i'm like a i should have worn a lab coat but i a lot of doctors won't test your blood for it because so many people have it that they're like you're chasing a positive basically what's that mean it's like a lot so many people have it that like if it shows up on your blood then you have to now tell people you have to disclose this information with your sexual partners but if you don't like have an outbreak you can't give it to someone so they're like there's no point of you going through the mental gymnastics of having of knowing oh so you mean if you're asymptomatic or carrier or whatever the fuck it's called you have it but they're just saying like look you if you don't have an outbreak or anything what's the point exactly so there's no point of you knowing that because to in the medical yeah but in the

medical world like i get it in their defense it's like so they see it probably 12 times a day or more you know what i mean so it's like what's the big deal but to you it's everything yeah exactly yeah it's yeah well that's why they're saying they're not testing in a number exactly yeah so they're like makes you a statistic exactly and they're like you don't want this to have like people get so depressed like there there are fucking support groups for it so it's like people are i have never heard of a herpes support group yeah well had you congrats no because i didn't have fucking herpes so i wasn't going around looking for herpes well it's funny because like i've done a too and it's like i was gonna say i'm not an alcoholic but i know of aa and na and all these groups i did i mean i don't know why not i guess there

would be a support group for anything right yeah yeah i guess it's just like but the thing is with a you're talking about how much your life got better after you quit drinking with herpes it's just like, but the thing is with AA, you're talking about how much your life got better after you quit drinking. With herpes, it's like. It's the other way. You're not really like, there's no real upside. You're not like, you know, now. So this was a depressing Zoom call? Yeah. I guess I shouldn't shit on it because it's like nice to hear and everything.

Yeah, to have a group, yeah. But I didn't leave the group like excited for the day. You didn't want to go do commercials and shit? Yeah, I wasn't like the group excited for the day. You didn't want to go do commercials and shit? Yeah, I wasn't like, you know. Those are the people thriving with herpes. The ones out there getting paid for it and doing commercials and shit. You know, those fuckers probably don't even have it. They're riding horses.

I'm like, no, you don't do that. Not with this ass crack. Yeah, no. Yeah, I was like, how are these people so active? I was bedridden for i couldn't walk for like two weeks that should be the fucking if that if that was the commercial probably people would be more careful and it's like look at these people having a great time with herpes yeah it's just such a it feels so because i do talk about sex in my stand-up and

like i'm you know i'm not afraid to make a sexual joke and now it feels like uh I do talk about sex in my stand up and like I'm you know I'm not afraid to make a sexual joke and now it feels like uh having herpes feels that's honestly the hardest part because for me I'm like honestly dating was not going well anyway so it's like if I don't I don't really care talking about it because it only affects people like who are gonna have sex with me and i don't feel like having sex with anyone so yeah and i mean i i just look i love that you're breaking down the stigma i love that you're openly talking about this and being comfortable i there who knows how many people listening or seeing this habit i'm tons probably it's so common um but but you're right people are embarrassed what's the what's

the hardest part for you like do you feel like you let yourself down like because you trusted this dude or do you feel like you got you know swindled like what's the hardest part of all or is it telling your your next partner what is the hardest part i think it's just that yeah it kind of just feels like a dui for the pussy you know i gotta take a break i gotta rethink my choices what am i doing here we're like oh god this is gonna come up in court sometime you know dui for the pussy is it not it's like a real bummer it's following you everywhere oh man that is so good if you're not putting that in your fucking stand up you better you fucking better it is so but that's how it feels it's just like uh like it's just embarrassing i think i feel embarrassed and i feel like I live a, you know, like,

I don't have sex with more than most of my friends or, like, the average person, but actually more than the average. I checked online. The average person has, like, six or seven people. Okay. In life? Yeah, nah. Yeah, right?

That's bullshit. Yeah. But it's. Well, I always say this always say this too like let's say you started at 16 you lost your let's say you fuck it let's say you lost your virginity at 20 and you're 45 40 let's say 40 and you're single if you just slept with two people a year i in my personal opinion i don't think that's slutty or whatever but But if over 20 years times two, that's 40 partners. If you took the number of partners, people would say, oh, well, you were slutty or you were this and you were that. And I think that if it's done like that, it's not.

You're just not good at relationships. It's not that you're a slut. You're just, you know, or loose or whatever, whatever you know a lady's whatever the fuck they could you know term you want to use for it but i think if you add it like that it's not promiscuous or whatever you just you're not good at dating or relationships that's what i told my i tried to make a joke about this but i was like i have way less sex like the number of times i have sex is way less than like my friends relationships i've had sex way less times but the number of times i have sex is way less than like my friends relationships i've had sex way less times but i've had way more partners because it's just like

it doesn't work out yeah right i i like end up with douchebags so it's like that is something that but now it just feels like it's the shame that i'm trying i mean i'm talking about it because i i feel like i felt like i like i i called the suicide hotline like i said i was so depressed whoa i didn't know you got there yeah and i was told her and she's like oh i'm like she's like oh like it was like a weird reaction. I was like, do I have the right number? Hang on one second. Carol!

Carol, I got one with herpes on the line. We'll be right back with you. She said, oh. She was just like, yeah, yo. Yeah. You just get that now? Yeah, I did. I was like, oh, who are you telling I have herpes?

Yeah, my mom. She already knows. Is your mom Carol? Exactly. She already knows. Is your mom Carol? Exactly. She already knows. But no, we ended up talking about it for a while. I was just like so depressed. I was just like, it feels like now I have this, I'm like this different person.

And it just feels like now I have, I'm like in a group of people. it it just feels like now i have i'm like a in a group of people it just i feel so it felt so like i felt so gross like i'm like now i'm this gross person but i mean it it is truly like a skin thing i mean it's in your blood i guess it's more than that but it it is like a you know i get eczema that's horrible so it's like i do already have like weird skin shit like a you know i get eczema that's horrible so it's like i do already have like weird skin shit and i think this will honestly probably be better because people now i when i tell a guy if he doesn't want to if he's not interested then he wasn't interested in me but there's also a damn good chance he's relieved because he does too exactly you know what i mean i mean the numbers they're telling us about this there's a damn good chance he does too yeah like thank god yeah instead of i'm fucking out of here or whatever you know yeah and so this feels like i mean i'm just taking

a time to like not date and really just kind of figure out you know just do my work on i don't even i don't know what i'm trying to say i'm like do me uh which is like not a thing um but just not puts i feel like i was giving guys so much credit and like so much trust and so much of my time and i'm like i don't need to do that anymore so it honestly i don't want to say i feel relieved because it's not really but it's like i just my mindset's so different it's like i don't care to say I feel relieved because it's not relief, but my mindset's so different. It's like I don't care anymore. You guys are all shits. You guys are all bags of shit.

I don't need to put my time and energy into this, and this feels like a good reason not to. I was very upset, and I'm lucky I didn't get fucking AIDS. I'm truly lucky I didn't get AIDS. You are lucky. You are lucky. You are lucky. So there's worse things and now it's like, yeah, it does suck that

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them more often and they fade as it goes is there any sort of predictability to to it yeah because after the first i've really done my research now um but after so you build up antibodies to it so it's like you built your body builds up immunity to it so so you won't get the flu symptoms the next time no okay and it's because your body's not being exposed to it it's just it's in your it's in your system now and um so yeah it's every year you're likely to get less and less because it's like less your body's more immune to it got it and that's why in the support group that was one healthy thing because i was like the first year i felt like i was having an outbreak every day and so i took the pill which is what i take i take it every day so to prevent it but i kind

of felt like that too i was like every day i was like is this it like you know like any feeling i'm like is this it like and um but i don't feel i feel less stressed about it because i'm not putting myself out there so even if i have an outbreak it really affects no one my friend was like you're lucky you don't get it on the mouth because you know the cold sores are herpes technically. And I was like, I'd much rather have it on the mouth. But isn't that simplex one versus genital, which is two? Or am I wrong about that? No, you're right. But you can also get one on your genitals.

Like if you go down on someone with a cold sore, they can get one on their genitals. You know, I didn't. This is embarrassing for me to even say, but it wasn't until later in my life that I didn't know that a girl could give me herpes by giving me head. Yeah. Like I didn't know. And then they said that's actually one of the most common ways is that she has herpes, I guess, on her mouth or whatever, and then gives you oral sex. You can get it. And I was like, huh? I did not.

I mean, I did not know that shit. Well, that's the the thing because when you think herpes you think of a girl in a dumpster like you don't think of someone just like a normal person so there's no i wasn't educated either that's it there's the big thing and that's why i'm glad you're talking about it because people are uneducated about it i didn't know that i had no i'm like wait she can give me she can get like I get it that she could get it from me if I have herpes on my dick, but I didn't know that I could get it from her if she gives me head and she has it. I met a girl one time, too, that was like, oh, I got.

Look, this girl was. This girl was. There was no shame to her game. She was a playboy. Oh, my God. I can't believe this. girl was this girl was there was no shame to her game she was a playboy that's the god oh my god i can't believe this she was like you but was actually a playboy buddy it's kind of like you but she was actually good at it i can't believe this is this is a true story and you just made me think of this and i'm going to tell you about this girl so back in the day i used to there was

a guy when i was a producer um for this network he was a pa and i moved up from a pa so i trained him i knew this guy's dude was big into ecstasy all this shit like he'd be standing there you'd be like i need you to take this thing that he he just bust a dance move like what are you doing bro it was just coursing through him all the time oh ecstasy oh yeah all day long all the time he getting his honda prelude he bumped that club music at two in the afternoon and just drive away and hear it going in the distance so i would go to their place to buy weed well they had it was him and a few buddies that rented a house and it was an apartment complex very la you got a nice backyard pool and everything is a monster apartment complex

that can look right into your shit and And there was this hot ass blonde, very girl next door TV show girl next door, um, chick that would always come over and she'd always come out. We're like, Jesus Christ, you come over and party with us. And,

um, she had a dog and a friend of mine, his roommate was moving out and he's like, man, is there any chance, you know, anybody looking for a place to rent and his dog friendly and i was like as a matter of fact i do because this girl just said so i connect these two and she moves into his place well i would go over there too he ended

up being a maryland guy go talk orioles ravens whatever and she was always so sweet and very nice. But she was a Playboy model. And she's like, I actually had the raciest Playboy video that they had. Remember they used to do those Playmate videos? No, I'm not a 15-year-old boy. You didn't know? But you wanted to be one of these girls. I know. Well, you would have been in a video.

I wasn't 15. This was in my 20s. But they used to do these videos of like they would take the playmate of the month or whatever and then do some bullshit lingerie soft core kind of thing with each one of them yeah you'd have been one so yeah i'm listening so she pops this vhs in and we're like what the fuck and she's showing us this you know she's getting dude banging or whatever so it's just straight porn then it's but you don't see penetration you don't see any of that stuff it's soft and it wasn't really they weren't you could tell it was it was it was all the moment before the moment shit you know what i'm saying so this chick was

an alcoholic too big time and she was like i can't she drank bub wise she belched louder and longer than any dude i ever met i mean this is a like a girl next door you having a girl next door type girl and she's like yeah and she had these like autographed hockey sticks in her bedroom and i'm like what are these all about she's like oh i've uh i fucked a few of the mighty ducks the anaheim ducks i'm like huh then she tells us that she got ch a few of the Mighty Ducks, the Anaheim Ducks. I'm like, huh? Then she tells us that she got chlamydia of the throat. Now, I had never heard of that before. I didn't know you could get chlamydia in the fucking throat.

And she's like, yeah, I suck the guy's dick who had chlamydia. And I'm like, we're good. We're good. And to your point of the hot chick and the Zoom thing, there wouldn't have been one dude that would have said no to that girl. And if I didn't know what I knew, I wouldn't have known enough to say no. She was so fucking dirty, so dirty that that was a new one to me. And to this day, chlamydia of the throat fucking haunts me

haunts me well my friend got his dick sucked in quarantine and he got chlamydia and he was like wait from getting a blow job yeah look i'm 47 uh you're you can get chlamydia from head well because she probably had it in the throat and she probably passed it on i guess so yeah yeah and i was like god you fucked it i was like don't fucking lie to me he's like i didn't i didn't and that's what's so crazy but did he make out with her and figure you get it that way too oh shit yeah i don't know but you can get rid of that right yeah that one gets you can get rid of i remember friends in high school had it you know chlamydia yeah they would get chlamydia and get rid of it guys and girls would get it and get rid of that one um i think that's the frustrating part

of it this is one that stays yeah like i had a friend get chlamydia three times in a year and i'm like meanwhile i'm just like rocking this herpes like fucking scarlet letter on the puss and it's like fuck i just feel like it's i just feel like it's yeah and it sucks because it's it's truly like um you know you he lied and it's like it sucks because it's now it's like this thing i have and it's the stigma i wear or like you know have and it's he lied so it's that's the that's the worst like it'd been one thing if he was genuinely like i didn't know i had it went to the doctor was like oh fuck i i have it you know yeah but you knew and you even know the fucking girl you know who you even know the person that gave that shit to you and and three weeks after i called him i was

like did you get tested he was like no i still haven't gotten tested yet i'm like you still haven't gotten tested like you need to go to the fucking doctor you need to take medication like you need to figure out like how to prevent this but he doesn't need to get tested he knows he has it because he clearly had an outbreak when he gave it to you he wouldn't if you had another outbreak, aren't you going to know it? Like undoubtedly, will you? Or maybe not? I don't know. I'm asking.

Yeah. I mean, yeah. You would know, right? Yeah. But my thing. If you're dating a guy and you're about to have sex, you would be able to say, look, we can't do that right now. Yeah. Exactly.

And. So he knew. He knew. And he knew he was going to go unprotected as well. He could have at least put a fucking condom on. Yeah. He's it's just like, I'm sorry that that is that's what that's the worst part of it is that you were you were lied to. Yeah.

Yeah. And I like knowing everything you could have just said, well, I'll wait. Yeah. I'm not like dying. Yeah. You weren't dying for that dick. Exactly. And that's what pisses me off.

And then it's like, now I just have this thing and I, it's just embarrassing, but it's also like, it's such a, it doesn't matter. Like it's not a disease or a disease, I guess it feels so weird to call it a disease.

You know what I mean? Cause it's like, do or a disease i guess it feels so weird to call it a disease you know what i mean because it's like do you get diagnosed with herpes or do you go out and find it uh yeah do you get in a bathroom at a fucking sports bar it's like you know what i mean it's like i gotta but it's hard to say it's so weird but it is something that doesn't affect like my work or um my friendships whereas like other diseases do you know at least so in that sense i'm like whatever like i need a break from dudes anyway and i don't know i've kind of i just said that i was like i've accepted that i'm probably gonna be alone so now it's just like well at least I have an excuse now I just have this weird like yeah scary it was just really scary at first but now it's

like whatever so you did you've done the online dating thing right yeah are there are there sites or uh stuff for people who have herpes or something anything like yeah there are which is the sport group they're like i know positive singles which is the app sounds really dumb but you should download positive singles so that's the app it's called positive singles yeah that's what people with general herpes are called positive singles if they're single well you can choose which disease you have for real yeah so that So AIDS, whatever's on there? I think so. I didn't check because I don't have AIDS.

You could have though. Yeah. Like let's get past that one. There was a moment though when I called because of my blood test. I was like, she's like, oh, it's irregular. You have an irregular. You need to speak to the doctor again. I was like, irregular?

I knew I had herpes. I was like, do I have HIV? And she was like, yes, you have HIV. And I was like, she's like, oh, it's irregular. You have an irregular. You need to speak to the doctor again. I was like, irregular? I knew I had herpes. I was like, do I have HIV? And she was like, yes, you have HIV. And I was like, what? She's like, oh, I'm sorry. HSV. It's HSV. And I was like, no.

I was like, yeah. So for three seconds, I thought I had HIV. Three to five seconds. And I was like, and I was like, read the fucking chart before you talk to me. You know what I mean? Also, why do we got to have anything that's even remotely close to HIV? Yeah, true, right? Even remotely close to HIV.

Why is there anything with an H and a V? But someone's like, you should just tell someone, don't say you have herpes, say you have HSV. Because that does sound a little less like, you know, HPV, HIV, HSV. But like herpes is like, that is, that's every punchline. You know what I mean? It's like a punchline of, I was recently watching Inside Amy Schumer and she has like this whole episode about herpes. That was like the ongoing joke. And I was like, does this bitch even fucking have it?

Like, it just pisses me off. And I used to use it as a punchline too. But it's like, now it's like, fuck you guys. That's my joke now because I fucking have it. But you jumped right into talking about it. I think because it's just been on my mind so much. I haven't been able to. But you're a comedian.

That's who we are. There's no way it's not going gonna literally come out of you and be talked about exactly that's the thing i wasn't planning on talking about it and then i was just like it's literally all i've been able to think about and i'm like fuck it like here we go i just think it's helpful honestly that you i know it sucks and i'm so sorry that because it yeah you could have gone into this willingly. I mean, you got lied to. You got you got fucking lied to.

Are there legal ramifications for shit like that? You said you mentioned a lawyer. Yeah, there are. Are there really? Yeah. What is it? What do you do? You can just it's you can sue someone for I forget what it is, but it's just like.

I forget what the correct term is but if you give someone a disease that they have to take care of and manage the rest of their life it's you i think it's up to like 15 20 000 but i'm like i know this bitch doesn't have that and like i would have to get a lawyer and go to court and do all i know that's yeah i know it's just like i hear it's not worth it and then i was like should i just venmo charge him a thousand dollars for my medication and be like pay this or whatever my friend's like that's extortion you cannot do that no you can't be like you better pay me a thousand or else have you heard from this guy at all nothing no you block him you i didn't block him because i'm like i don't care about him that much like I'm like so disappointed but I and also like

I don't know I just I'm because you know now we have this deep connection uh no but I feel like I just didn't block him because I feel like I block people who mentally like bother me and he I'm not I didn't like him like I didn't love him love him. You know, it was like a very we dated pretty short period. So it's like I was just so fucking pissed. And I don't really think like even when I think about the herpes, I don't even think about him. Yeah. Because I'm like, he's never going to be in my life. Like, I'll never talk to him again.

Or inside you again. Exactly. Well, we'll see. I don't know. i made some bad decisions i like guys come back eight or nine times before i'm like uh-uh and they're like yeah we're not there anymore um well let me ask you this because i ask everybody that comes on for the first time um advice you would give to your 16 year old self oh man yeah wrap it up um always always i don't know i feel like i didn't have sex till i was like 19 and i think i would just say like i would not that i've had

sex with a ton of dudes but like i really wish i had been more like I really wish now I just had been more selective and I I think going forward I probably will be but I think it's oh you said probably probably will be it's only been a couple months you know you know it's like not drinking you know you go into it so hard you're like I'm not gonna drink ever again and you're like all right maybe holidays all right you know it's like not drinking you know you go into it so hard you're like i'm not gonna drink ever again and you're like all right maybe holidays all right you know it's a tuesday so i think it would just be like don't give guys so much fucking credit because they're losers not you know all but it's like i feel like i i put so much my worth into that for so long and even till you know this happened and i'm just like what the fuck am i doing like i i put so much my worth into that for so long and even till you know this happened and i'm

just like what the fuck am i doing like i'm better than these people and like i don't need this in my life and i i feel like i i truly just put too much worth into it so just like fuck dudes not actually but you know uh will you one more time promote everything you want to promote please yeah this was like quite this is this turned into a full-on herpes herpes yeah um yeah i have a podcast called don't tell mom if you want some more herpes insight uh just kidding we talk about other things sometimes and uh i yeah the epics half hour yeah my instagram is at hon sticky yours is great yeah yeah so all right well thank you thank you for coming on and and seriously thank you for being so open and so goddamn funny about something that's you know really tough to deal with so thank you thanks for having me you got it uh as always ryan sickler on all social media ryan sickler.com. We'll talk to y'all next week.