The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Jason Ellis - Dewd Gone Wild

Episode Date: September 27, 2021

My HoneyDew this week is Jason Ellis! Jason returns to Highlights the Lowlights of competitive fighting at his age, coming out at 40 years old, and some of the wild relationship experiences he’s had since then! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: - Get 3 additional months FREE when you purchase a 3-month subscription by going to https://babbel.com and use promo code HONEYDEW.   - Get started from home for just $15 with a Candid starter kit. Go to https://CandidCO.com/HONEYDEW and use code HONEYDEW - Get 20% off + free shipping when you go to https://Manscaped.com and use code HONEYDEW

Learner's Permit premieres next week on my YouTube. Subscribe today. Hey, guys. The Night Pants Nation Tour is underway. Indianapolis, you're up next. September 30th through October 2nd. Baltimore, one night only. October 23rd.

Brea, California. October 28th. All tickets are available at ryansickler.com. Go get yours today. The Honeydew with ryan sickler welcome back to the honeydew y'all we're over here doing it in the night pan studios i'm ryan sickler thank you for your support i can't tell you how much it means to me, but I'm going to. It means the fucking world to me. Thank you for really leaning in, man.

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All right, so merch is restocked. The Honeydew podcast is the website the ringtones are out there we're working on getting them on the website now for your android users and i do want to tell you the the series i told you about it's taking me a while to do it because i wanted to do it well but it's called learners permit it's with my stepson uh during quarantine he needed driving hours and i was like fucking, fuck it. I need content. So I got GoPros, stuck them in the car. And we made a little 10 episode web series together that I'll be releasing here in a couple of weeks and be telling you more about it. So there's the thing. That's all the

info. You know, we do over here, we highlight the low lights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. This storyteller is coming back for another episode. Very excited to have this guy here. This show was probably made for him, and nobody even knew it. Ladies and gentlemen, Jason Ellis is back. Welcome back to the Honeydew, Jason Ellis. It's great to be back. It's an honor to be back.

Oh, it's an honor to sit across anybody with a gold tooth, brother. Yeah. I don't know. I like that you keep it. I feel like the older I get, the more it'll suit me because I'm way past lit. So at this point, I look like a tough cunt at this point because you're like, he got that shit in prison.

I'm going to fight Luis J. Gomez, and he is the greatest opponent of my life. It's the perfect fight for an old pile of shit that really likes mixed martial arts. And he's not very good, and he's not a real athlete, and he's kind of old as well. I think he's like 39 or something. So I'm 49, so I'll be 50 when I fight him.

So we're both mediocre, but we're both pretty tough. And we both care a lot about the sport. I think we both want to be real fighters and we can't be. And this is one of those things where we're going to really fight. And it's the same rules. It's sanctioned. It's a to really fight. And it's the same rules. It's sanctioned. It's a pro MMA fight. But to me, I know that we're not good enough to be in Bellator.

No one would ever sign us. We suck. But it's a fair suck-off. You know? If that's not your fucking... Could be tough to sell that. It's a fair suck-off. You know what I mean?

And it's kind of like, remember when girls had boxing fights in the 80s? They didn't defend themselves as well. It was more of like a barn burner. So that's what I think this is more of. I think this has the potential to be more of a slugfest. Okay. Because there's not a hell of a lot of precision. Do you see it going rounds?

I fucking hope not. It's like one round of all lot of precision do you see it going rounds or do you think it's like one round of all hell breaks loose i'm 50 i'm gonna my plan is knock this dickhead out in 20 seconds so i want to go get a cheeseburger and fucking you know i mean to hang out smoke a doobie i'm not built for this anymore i what made you decide you guys were actually going to do this um he just somebody said you know ellis would clean the floor with you. And he was like, bullshit. And then he like tagged me. And I was like, come on, man.

Don't start shit you can't finish. And he was like, I'm pretty sure I can fucking beat you. And I was like, I know you can't. And then he was like, all right, I'll fight you. And then it just accidentally got into, I was an Instagram thing where i was like i would smash you easily dude and then he said prove it and i was like i didn't realize at the time it was before i got dropped from serious it was before oh so this has been you build up for a while then i blew my knee out right after i said i'd fight him so i went skateboarding on vacation and blew my knee out right after i said i'd fight him so i went skateboarding

on vacation and blew my knee out and had to get a mcl cadaver like a dead person's ligament installed in there after i'd agreed to fight him and he was like oh you're getting a dead person's ligament put in your leg another chance it's easier for me to get better to beat you so we can like agree to fight way later in later on down the road so i can practice a lot while you are all old and hurt and shit and i've seen them all doing their videos they'll talk to each other it's like he's he's old he's like 50 he used to be good at skateboarding like yeah he used to i'm like bitch you have no fucking idea who i am like none of you're all funny and i respect you for being fucking funny late at night at a nightclub,

but I got up in the fucking morning and did sports, dude, my whole life. My body's built for fucking smashing. You have no idea, oh, pain, I can't breathe, or my arm hurts. Fuck off. I was at your place after you jumped out of that fucking car, and I thought you were going to be crippled for the rest of your life. I can't believe you're moving around and comfortable like you are right now. Is there still some pain lingering? A little bit. I see a specialist.

Yeah, but what's a little bit to you? What would you say on a daily basis at 1 to 10 your pain is? 4, 6, 7, 3. Okay, when I got real hurt, I mean dude, I jumped, I fell like 40 feet

to my ass. I saw. I jumped I fell like 40 feet to my ass I saw I did 35 mile an hour and dropped to my ass still serving me chips over there and everything that still hobbling around serving me chips and shit what are you going to do

keep up out there grilling he can't move there's a hell of a host over there it only hurts to sit down it's not so bad see I figured it out now. It's past that.

It's healed. I got some lady that does some crazy body work because I guess a bunch of stuff switched off from the impact. All the muscles went into shock in my booty. A lot of my back legs and all that stopped. All the muscles stopped firing off correctly. the muscles stop firing off correctly so i had to go see a specialist to like uh get everything to fire off because you start to compensate from your injuries and don't use the muscles correctly and if i'm trying to still skateboard starting trying to get ready for a fight that i really plan on winning so i've got to have like whatever i've got left to work with me so i got somebody that

i learned this from skateboarding like if you're hurt and you think you can grind it out you can grind it out but if you go see people that adjust your shit and get you to be better balanced and in less pain and more flexible you have more chances of winning the fight and when you're 50 and you already didn't want to fucking do it in the first place i'm done do you know i mean like this fight this is done, I know it's like it's insulting to hear a fucking idiot that's already been famous at something talk about being a comedian, but I want to go do something else and be super passionate about it, and I finally am okay

with it not hurting. Like you can offend me, but I don't want to be in another sport where somebody cracks me. i get punched in the fucking head or somebody i don't i don't i don't want to do it anymore i know people like oh you're gonna you're gonna need to no i don't i won't need to be in pain or in danger for the rest of my life i i don't blame you i you got me thinking about fights in my life, and I wanted to ask you about the best girl fight you've ever seen because I want to tell you this. While you think about it, in high school, most girls grabbed hair.

Every now and then you'd see one that you would grab, and she'd take the hand like this and wouldn't necessarily punch like this, but give them that beating. I'm like, oh, okay, you got brothers. And I'll never forget the girl that lived next door to me i probably shouldn't say her full name just in case her name was shannon and she had older brothers that were bikers and shit and she was a sweet cute girl my age um and there was a kid on the bus uh that we this is ninth grade we all rode the high school bus together she lived next to me and there was

another friend of ours in the neighborhood over. We all ride the bus together. So these younger kids would pick on him because he was just a big, soft kid and gentle, and he was a pushover. And the younger kids would pick on him and shit. And one day – actually, we're 10th grade. A ninth grader is picking on him on the bus, and he finally pushed enough buttons that our friend had had enough and we got off the bus and where it dropped us off uh was this church um and as a it's a weird thing but if you've ever seen the movie uh that that uh johnny depp is in um the oh my god i can't think of it now it's gonna drive me nuts but he doesn't have a painted face does he no it's a fucking um he does it's a john waters film um oh cecil b no not cecil b it's gonna drive me

i can't even believe right now i'm failing this i should fail at life i'm no help sorry cry baby okay good cry baby tracy lords remember tracy lords the star? She was in this movie. So it's in Maryland, whatever. And this church is just a wide shot of this thing called the Chatterbox Orphanage in this movie. That's the church that our bus driver, that's our bus stop, drops us off. And there's a cemetery in the back of it. And we get off the bus, and the kid's picking on my buddy. And my buddy just has, like I said, had enough. He's big. He loves all that anger. And he just, boom, puts picking on my buddy. And my buddy just has, like I said, had enough. Picks him. He's big.

He loves all that anger. And he just, boom, puts him on the ground. He's just giving it to him. Was he crying while he was punching him? No. It wasn't like Christmas story. Okay. You know, he's like.

I've done that. No. He's just had enough. It's been years. So he's not crying. Now he's like, I'm going to, you motherfucker. Okay. You're going to get all of it. Yeah. You know years so he's not crying now he's like i'm gonna you motherfucker okay you're gonna get all of it yeah you know and he's got him and he's on all fours and he's pinned

them under and he's just going and this fucking bitch this girl that none of us like that rode our bus runs up behind my buddy and i mean justin tucker punts his fucking balls from the back. I mean, you could hear the thud. It was a thud. And my buddy just instantly grabs his balls and rolls over. I'll never forget. He just goes, somebody get her. That's what he was crying. That's when he started crying.

Man, hitting the balls to automatically cry is – Give us a video where somebody's beating up a guy and then the guy grabs the other dude's balls and then he like begs him to let go at all costs? Let go, let go, let go. I never had anybody grab my balls where I do that, but it seemed like a whole different kettle of fish of a fight. It sounded like she held a football.

He goes, punt, like perfectly punt. So he rolls off. The kid runs away. And this girl, Shannon, my old next-door neighbor, wasn't fucking having that. Shannon, I'm telling you, her brothers were bikers, older dudes. She was denim on denim, Metallica or T-shirt. Does she have skills or is it more of a street brawl mentality? She's got the mentality.

We don't know if she's got – Is it the hair and the uppercut? Because I feel like – We don't know if she's got the skills yet. I'll tell you though. We're about to find out. Okay. So Shannon walks up to her the next day on the bus.

Oh, wow. And walks up to her on her own and goes, those boys have been picking on this kid. And we didn't even know she gave a fuck. It's like those boys have been picking on this kid for years and he finally stands up for himself and put your fucking friend in his place and you jump in and hurt that boy like that guess what bitch today when we get off this bus i'm fucking you up and then goes boom and sticks one in her face just to let her know it's really and the girl had glasses her grass is broken went all up on her face and she was scared to that's how the bus ride started.

Yeah. But to promise another ass whooping after the punch in the face is, you got to live with that. That's torment. And back then, we don't have phones. We're like, oh, shit. But we're doing that. We're like, oh, you're about to get your ass kicked out. Everyone's cheering.

Because we can't do it. We can't hit that girl. No, you cannot. But everybody wanted to fucking do something, And we were like, thank you. So Shannon's got her. And Shannon makes sure she gets off the bus first so the girl can't beat her and run. She goes and sits up front and gets off and waits for her.

And we're like, oh, shit. And this girl gets off. And the girl had big boobs, I remember, because we saw them. I don't feel like that helps in fighting. It didn't. And Shannon just grabbed. She's like, look, I don't want to. And Shannon grabbed her and brought her in.

And I mean, yeah, she had fighting skills. She fucking punched her right in the face again and put her on the ground and just started going. And then my buddy takes the girl's binder and just starts skipping through the cemetery. He's throwing all her paperwork and books and ripping. Oh, man. Streets her. Like, bitch, you go fucking get this, you bitch. I can't touch you that's what I'm doing

and she is fucking her up and she rips her shirt off so all the boys can see her boobs yeah she did it for me like thank you Shannon thank you Anthony oh dude she did she really did so to this day that girl's got it she's in my good book man

that girl fucked like I'm telling you it was like it was real fighting. I was like, God damn, man. God damn. Yeah, I feel like there's – because if you're a street fighting girl and you've had a lot of street fights against girls that don't have street fights, then there's a way to win that fight that is not the same as a mixed martial arts ability. But if you have a hold of a hair and you've got to go side to side

so they never get to stand balanced, and then when you flick them to the side and when they go to get up, it's an uppercut, uppercut, and then you make them go again so they keep going off in direction and fall into the ground, and it's just constant uppercuts to the face and they never get to get on their feet to throw a punch, and they never get to get on their feet to throw a punch, those girls win every time unless it's a girl that goes to, like, Muay Thai gym.

And then it's the – because then you've got a really tough girl who has taken a lot of shots to give shots and beaten up a lot of women in a lot of fights, so she's not scared of getting hit. And then there's a girl that's a trained weapon that is going to land a lot of shots before she realizes that she should stop before she gets biscuited because i've seen that before you have you know you go to nightclubs with fighters and drunk people still they don't they it's weird maybe more now because i don't go out, I'm older, but when MMA was first a bigger thing, people didn't know and would kind of push back on people

that had cauliflower ear and I'd go, why would you push that guy? Is it not apparent that he's going to fucking smash you? Oh, fucking hell. He's given up intentionally one of his five senses. It just seems so apparent. Is it worth it? What's your background?

Has it been like the last 20 years of your life crushing people? Because that dude looks like it's been 20 years of crushing people. And when they're sort of like, hey, mate, don't do that. The guy's telling you. He's telling you not to do it because it's going to be bad for you. Because you know that guy's life looks like if his ear was a representation of his life, that's what that dude's lived. You know what I'm saying?

I've seen people that are really good at fighting and a fight has broke out near me and I'm like, oh shit. And I look at him and he's like, this is funny. Look at these guys. And I'm like, oh shit, they're coming close to us. And he's like, good. Like, let them come close to me. And I'm like, wow, you can kill anybody in the world.

And now I see how apparent it is. I am like, oh, shit, like big dudes coming over here. And he's like, maybe they'll bump into me. And I'll smash somebody. Because that's what I'm really good at. He's the one I wish somebody would. I'm so good at it. You guys are going to trip out

on how good I am it's just like wow wow wow oh you can chug beers wait till you watch me fuck these five guys up and you think girls don't do that like you think girls

that are good at MMA and a drunk girl is talking shit and they don't go I mean like are you sure and

I feel like it's same same drunk girl, drunk guy. It doesn't make a difference. If you say I'm sure to somebody and they're drunk and they've already started talking shit, they're going to back it up and then they get beat up. Bad. But it's never bad. I find real good people just give you one or two to stop you from,

like, I've never seen a really good person knock you out and, like, hit you again when you're knocked out or whatever. You ever see the opposite? You ever see somebody get lucky and catch somebody and be like, holy fuck, that dude over there just clipped him on the chin and got him? Wait, and drop somebody? Yeah, just like a wild shot might actually be, oh, you have? Yeah, a lot of times. But I mean, the person's a regular, though. The person's a regular.

What do you mean? A civilian. Like I'm saying, at a bar, somebody's talking shit, and they actually can fucking fight. Yeah, well, I mean, dude, it's not that. Okay, some people are probably naturally better than others, but it's also, I mean, if you are drunk and you throw a punch at someone's face, it doesn't take much to make someone go to sleep.

Yeah, it doesn't. Like, if I haven't been trained in my whole life and I don't see you throw it and it lands anywhere across here and I don't see it. This shit right here tends to be a light switch. Everybody goes to sleep. Yeah, that right there. You know, some people, there's bigger skull people that get hit and they go, whoa, what the fuck, what'd you do?

Yeah, that's when you're a troll. Yeah. snap it's a bigger skull people that get hit and they go whoa what the fuck what'd you do yeah that's when you're in trouble yeah usually that guy has a matching hand for his head and also that was just everything you had when he wasn't even expecting it right yeah yeah now you've got his attention one time somebody did that to me with a skateboard truck over the back of their head yeah the whole bore with the truck like that he Yeah. He was like, you guys need to get the fuck out of here. I didn't crush your fucking skull. Right? Man.

Yeah. But I've got a big head. I've got a thick head. That's probably my number one attribute when it comes to fighting. So even if Lewis gets lucky and lands one, I eat shots. I think it's pretty funny. Maybe not later on. That's why I don't want to do that too much more.

But he can have 15 minutes full speed. 15 minutes? Yeah, it's not going to go that long. But let's say it makes it all the way and he punches me in the face for 15 minutes. I will totally know what my room is and I'll still be hooking up. So tell me about a time when you've been in a fight street fight I'm not

much of a street fighter or a regular fight fine when someone gave you a shot and you're like okay alright this guy

he's got power more than I thought maybe oh okay yeah excellent one so I'm in England at a skateboard contest and I'm on the

bones brigade and this dude Mike Vilely super tough guy for a skateboarder and I'm on the Bones Brigade and this dude, Mike Vilely, super tough guy for a skateboarder, an angry kind of guy that is quick to go. Usually he's probably in the rights like security guards and stuff like that. He's not a bully of kids.

It's more of a protector of he'll fight bullies. So I'm there and what I don't know, I did a lot of drugs back then, and I partied a lot. So I was getting on people's nerves in Europe. Like the team were contemplating sending me home, and I did not know this. So I get to the venue. It's a big stadium.

And when I get to the venue, I come into where the ramp is, and someone goes, hey, Alice, your fucking boy's in trouble. And I'm like, what do you mean? And he's like, dude dude he's over there and i look uh there's like uh those revolving doors that they go under the stadium and then the stairs go out of the stadium and i see through the doors people are fighting a bunch of people punching and stuff so i run in there and it's him and like 12 security guards and he's in the middle of 12 security guards punching them just going just going like a fucking like a cat in a bathtub just fucking

like just fucking shit flying everywhere and i'm like what the fuck is this guy doing yeah and then i run in i jump in there because it's 12 of them. Dude, maybe more. It looked like a group of people and him in the middle fighting everybody. Security. Oh, security. Okay. But this is England, man. Like, it's different. And the security are, like, tatted up guys and shit.

Like, they're fucking thugged out. They're not, like. They're fucking soccer bullies on the weekend. All they do is scrap. Like, they're good with it. So I get in there and I realize, as I get in there, and his wife and his daughter are in the middle. Oh, shit. So I guess somebody said that he didn't have a pass to get in.

He was like, fuck you, and somebody grabbed him and he pushed, and he was with his wife and child, and his child was probably five, something like that, five-year-old daughter, and his wife's little too. So I get in there, and as soon as I jump in there, some dude fucking hits me, and I fucking crack and smash this fucking dude, and the dude just turns around and goes, wham, and I go, and I'm like, and I was like, and the guy was way bigger than me.

And I was like, fuck. Like, the dude was like, yeah, you need more. And I was like, you need some more. And he knew that when it hit me, I was like, I don't need any more. And he didn't give me any more. don't need any more and he didn't give me any more so i grabbed i grabbed my friend and his kid and and and and i fucking start running up the staircase with him while he's still fighting him and i go up the staircase a couple more people punch me in the fucking face with a kid in your i got a fucking kid and a wife i got love him I got crew family and somebody punched me

somebody punched me we're outnumbered by so many I didn't have a hand I only had a face to punch you got two generations in one arm

fuck dude and they're punching you in the face I get him out there he's still fucking still scratching people fucking cat scratch motherfucker

and then I push out and I grab the kid I grab the kid the daughter and they go out and he's at the front fuck we gotta get these motherfuckers

and I go yeah yeah yeah but first you go back to the hotel room and take your wife and daughter back and then you and I

will get these fuckers and I'm not I was like I'm not getting anybody you're gonna be joking with me that one guy could kill both of us and he had 12 friends so fuck that but yeah that was one of those ones where it was no i had no problem because i've had fights before where people are just bigger and it's not even it's not even scary it's just like you got me and if you want to make it worse you go ahead make it worse but i'm not a bitch you know well have you been knocked out uh yeah not in a street fight but i've been knocked out

in the gym first time what was it like do you remember well the first time not because there's there's there's dazed and then there's i mean out, out. Yeah. When you come to, do you know, or do you even believe what people are telling you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's pretty- I mean, if you're out out, and you don't know who you are anymore, I've never done that. I've got a pretty thick skull. As I said, every time I've been knocked out, I pretty much know who I am. One time when I got knocked out skateboarding real bad, I kept going in and out of consciousness.

I didn't know what the- I thought I was dying. A couple times, I thought I was dying. didn't know what the fuck. I thought I was dying. A couple times I thought I was dying. People were fucking strangling me. I thought I was in hell. And then I wake up and I'm in an ambulance. And then I go back away again into this thing. People choking me. Freaking me the fuck out. And then I woke up in hospital.

Trying to pull you to the other side. And then I woke up in hospital and there was a fat lady wiping my dick and balls down with a wet towel. And I was like, please tell me. She didn't work there. I swear to God. It's on the street.

She just showed up like, whoa, there's some knife balls. But they do look like they got some pee on them. These need a little cleaning. Because I pissed my pants when I got knocked out. So when I was in this thing, people would joke at me in this imaginary hell I was in. I also pissed my pants. Then my brother came in, and I remember saying,

I was like, it's not cheating if you got knocked out. Try to make a joke of a lady touching my balls. I was married to somebody that wasn't fucking a lot, so it was a highlight. So it was definitely, at one point I'm in hell, and there's things making me choke, and then somebody's giving me a free one. So can we talk about that then?

Not a sexless marriage, it sounds like, but not enough? Yeah, yeah, there you go. Can we talk about that? Yeah, sure. I mean, cool, for a guy like you, I guess what I don't know is you're obviously hypersexual. Yeah. You're obviously open, literally, to fucking anything and anyone. Well, maybe not anything.

I don't think you go animals or anything like that. But you know what? I wouldn't put a pen. I was talking about on my show how I would be into like a beast woman. That's what I feel like. But not a monkey woman. Like a beastly woman. You know what I mean?

Like a wolfly woman. Like she's half werewolf. Like I would fuck a werewolf lady. What? What? You don't think that's hot? Is this weird? This is going to be weird.

I wouldn't lick her, but I would have sex with her. Because I feel like it's be a... I don't like hairy women. Look, here's the thing. A friend of mine's wife explained it to me like this. Like, we just have a stick that we put in a hole. Oh, yeah. They're the hole.

Yeah. So it doesn't sound odd to me that you would fuck that. Well, I get sticks, so I know what it's like to be a bit of a lady. Right. You got to trust them a little more. It's not the same. Yeah. You're letting them inside your body.

You are. Yeah. Yeah. You're vulnerable. I like that you're vulnerable right now. I feel your vulnerability right now. I regret saying that, but it's true. Don't regret it.

You're sensitive. You have a sensitive side. Yeah. No, I'm... It's true. Don't regret it. You're sensitive. You have a sensitive side. Yeah. Yep, there you go. When you're traveling to a destination where you don't know the language, it can be challenging to accomplish even the simplest of tasks. I've told you before. You guys have heard me talk about it.

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That's 20% off plus free shipping with the code HONEYDOO at MANSCAPED.COM. That's 20% off. Plus free shipping with the code HONEYDOO at MANSCAPED.COM. Make your balls a priority this fall. Choose MANSCAPED. Your balls will thank you. Now, let's get back to the do. Where was I going with you? You got me on a werewolf tangent. Oh, sexless.

Not sexless, but not. Yeah, just more. I don't know you i'm i've gotten to know you here over the last couple years but would you you're hypersexual obviously but would you say that's i don't would you have you always been that way or is it more of like your dennis rodman coming into this now and like i'm leaning into it and having fun with it. A bit of both because I've always been super sexual, but I didn't know about any of the things that you could do. Like what? What surprised you?

Butt play. That was a giant one. With a woman or just? Yeah, well, obviously it started with a woman, but I didn't know that anybody did that or you could do that or how good it was if you did get into that. Until what, a woman introduced you? Yeah.

And how did she introduce you? Fingers or strap-ons? It took months. She just kept working on it because she kept trying to tell me. Months to convince you? No, I was like, I agreed to try and then it didn't work. Meaning she was trying to get a massage or prostate? One time I took a Valium

and I drank, because this one person told me to take a Valium and drink a Chardonnay. A glass of Chardonnay? A Chardonnay. And get fingered? It didn't work. Give me a glass of Chardonnay, girl. I'm ready to get my ass played on. I needed like a bar of Z need like a fucking bottle of whiskey

because that shit wasn't happening man it was I remember at one point I was like how many fingers have you got in there and she's like I haven't even got my pinky in there you fucking pussy like let it go already I couldn't let it go because it's a mental thing but then once you let go you can't look back. But all that stuff. And then the way people live, you know, like the BDSM stuff, all these little kinks. Let's go back.

I didn't know about any of that. Right. So this girl is sort of a tipping point and opening you up into a new world of sexual experiences. My wife, my current wife, yeah. She was the person that's- Butt play? Yeah. Oh, this is this late? Yeah, dude. Oh, this is what I, yeah. She was the person that's- Butt play? Yeah.

Oh, this is this late? Yeah, dude. Oh, that's what I'm saying. I didn't come out until I was 40. Well, I know coming out, but I'm talking about you were still a sexual man in your 20s, your 30s. Yeah, but all the run-ins that I had that were bisexual when I was younger were accidents that I didn't mean to do.

I didn't plan out. I planned, set out to do it. I just took tons of drugs, and I ended up like some dude blew me. And I was like, what the fuck was that? But I put it down to, I didn't do an e-bomber, dude. I did seven e-bombers. What's an e-bomber? Ecstasy pills.

Oh, okay. Like, I didn't fucking play with, like, people were like, yeah, we're going to go out on a Saturday and do an e-bomber. And I'm like, how many do you have? And they're like they're like what do you mean i'm like how many do you fucking have to sell me because i'm not doing one you know i do seven and then i you know i mean get weird when's the first time you made love to a man i'll fucking punch you dude i'll seriously punch you, dude. I'll seriously punch you in the face. Fuck you, alright? I'm being serious. I'm so mad. When's the first time When's the first time that you didn't take drugs

and get blackout fucked up and willfully say, alright, I'm... When you say it like that, that's different. Well, let's make it love. Let's get it right. Let's get it straight. I love no man, alright? I didn't say you love them. I just said you made love to him. I'm not gay. The other half is straight as fuck. You'd be surprised.

It's Andrew Rowe. You know what I mean? I wouldn't be. Anyway. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, I had to get sober first.

So that was tough. And then I think- What year did you get sober? How old were you? Well, I had to get sober first, so that was tough. And then I think- What year did you get sober? How old were you? Well, I've tried a few times, so I've had a few stints. So I think maybe the first time I had a stint that was long enough to call sobriety was late 30s. Oh, okay. And I maybe did like four years, I think.

So in the last decade, roughly, then, this is all a new thing for you, really? Yeah. Coming out, getting clean. Yeah. Okay. In the last 10 years. Yeah. It really hurt the show, too.

I fucking love you. I wish I had a fucking joke for the end of that. I understand. Everybody hates my gayness and my sobriety. Everyone's like, you know what? They hate the gayness more than the sobriety. You know, all those strippers and jump, you know what I mean? Oh, man.

Sorry, guys. I fucked up. Somebody said they fucking hate me now because my pink's cheap. I mean, my Jeep's pink. Yeah. I was like, really? I love making jokes about it. But that's what it's all for.

It's fun. And traffic. Girls come and stop me in traffic. I love your car. I'm like, I know, love making jokes about it, about that guy screaming at you in traffic. Girls come and stop me in traffic. I love your car. And I'm like, I know, right? It's fucking stupid. It is. First time.

Smile to my face every time I see it on the street. I'm like, who's? Oh, wow. Idiot. Just hate Jeeps. First time you willfully fucked a dude. Right. Or, okay, let me ask it this way

or got fucked by one what came first later I fucked dudes I'm gonna get t-shirts all over the place get ready you guys listen I have to say this I was fucking dudes when I still had hair

the first time I met you the promo for the show is... I sucked a dick when I was three. That's a t-shirt. Yeah. And I mean, if you literally go back and look at that promo, I mean, it's happened a couple times. My jaw dropped. I can't even talk about it right now.

You said it's mine. I can't even talk about it right now. You said it, man. That's why I love you, dude. That's awful. That's awfully funny. You're going to survive. That's awfully funny. Keep up, Butcher Jason.

I mean, my jaw was like, ha-ha. And it took a second to write. You got your accent on top of, did he just say? And I was like, ha yeah all right so oh man a lot of a lot of sex when i was real young and then there was a couple of breaks where i got married and had some kids but i also understand that i feel like my wife at the time i had kids and and became a mother and I really respect her for that and and appreciate her for that like did it work out for me no you know I mean it was it was it almost unfair kind

of in a roundabout way if you look at it from my perspective which is bullshit it's a it's not about you anymore it's about the kids she was still loved me but just was like man an easy jackrabbit. You know what I mean? Like fucking I'll give you some and then that should be enough. And I'm like, I want to say it is, but I'm lying. I am me. And I'm like, yeah, once or twice, no.

You know what I mean? I'd rather you were upside down. You know what I mean? I'd rather like I always felt like there was other things that I wanted to add. Like I'm one of those people that started having sex and I start looking around the room for things to shove up somebody. It's not enough. You know what I mean?

Like I'm like, what if the camera was on and I was like shoving something up my own ass while giving you the fucking fish hook. Like it's got to be extra stuff. It's always got to be extra. But I mean, the more I go to therapy, the less that is a thing in my life. But there's certain things that I've really got.

Like, I like my weed, you know? Yeah. I like it. I mean. And I'm not like that. I'm not ashamed of it, embarrassed. No, hell no. And then when it comes to sex stuff.

I would rather my kid walk down the sidewalk and smell marijuana than cigarettes in the fucking air. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. So let's get back to the first time you made love to a man. Yeah, he won't get off it. And that's fair.

I can't remember. I think the first time I slept with a – because the first time I slept with somebody was a trans woman. So that was probably the first couple of times. But I can tell you the first time I – Did she still have a penis? Yes. Okay. Yes.

And how was that? You're into that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. penis yes okay yes and how was that you're into that yeah yeah yeah i was still more sleeping with her because she was a girl and trying to sleep with her girl parts more than i was sleeping with her guy parts this is how you transitioned to yeah it's like when you get a gold chain you get a gold chain it's like this mr t starter kit yeah it was like it was like a gay starter kit you go you go a trans girl. But that's not for everybody.

I don't want trans women getting mad at me. Mr. G. Some people just stay in that little starter kit. Yeah, right there. And they like it there, and that's fine. I didn't, and I thought that that was enough for me too, but I didn't. Every now and then, to me, a little bit more is always better.

But not too much too soon because you'll freak me out. Like if someone was like fist me, I'd be like, what the fuck? You guys are fucked. I'm out of here. But give it 10 years. And I will punch you in your ass. but the first time i think i slept with a guy that was real real that was like a year ago maybe yeah really yeah like where i took it no go back to the the first you still okay so you

went trans first yeah but when was the first time just a man, a male, who identified as a male? How about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was probably about 15 years ago. All right, and were you nervous to do that? Like, did you feel? I was high on meth. You were?

Do you even remember it? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, I wasn't. Yeah. I thought it was weird because he kept calling it a pussy. What, your ass? His ass. He was like, fuck my pussy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I wasn't. Yeah. I thought it was weird because he kept calling it a pussy. What, your ass? His ass.

He was like, fuck my pussy? Yeah. No. I was like, I hate to break it to you. I'm not here for this. Yeah, I was like, I know what I'm fucking, you know. I wish it was a pussy. But I didn't say that.

I was still, like, had the starter kit on, you know. I wasn't totally ready. I still had the starter kit on. I wasn't totally ready. Buttoned up a little bit. I still got a polo tucked into my cap. I didn't want the dick bouncing around near it. I was like, it's throwing me. I mean, it's not a pussy. It's throwing me off.

But then it gets kinky. Then I'm like, that's weird as hell. And then big drag queens became super attractive to me i get really wasted man then i go out and i'm like hi floating around the bar and some like 10 foot ladies like let me blow you in the bathroom and i'm like okay you know they got like crazy magical wigs and hair and stuff i don't know if it's a guy i mean i know it's a guy for sure but i don't care it's like magical it's like a magical blowjob and they really want to do it like more than anybody that i've ever let blow me

i'm like who am i to judge this is this seems fun you just seem like it's it's it's always a go big though it's that go bigger go it's not just enough to go find a guy or a trans and you'd like to go like you told the last story about the what was was it, a 400-pound lady or something like that that you'd go visit at the airport. Yeah, I guess I don't know. Like, you say it's, like, going big, but I don't say to myself that it's, is it bigger than the last time I did something. It's more, it's wild. You know, sex is wild to me. Not all the time.

Like, sometimes I like to have sex like normal i don't know quick ones in the fucking show my wife like it's not all just about that but when it gets when if there is a chance of getting things wild how okay how wild do you guys get because i've i'm in i'm usually in you know and let's see what's your heart no don't shit on me i will knock you the fuck out but no one's ever tried to shit on me i tell these people try to one time because i'll go on grinded when i'm bored you know it's like an app so i'll go on there and i'll be in different places and someone's like oh holy shit because i look like a straight guy everyone thinks that's cool like i want to eat your ass and i'm like

yeah man cool appreciate it you know like it's almost a compliment people just say that it's like no seriously that's just the dude just the... Dude, people send me... On Instagram, people send me their fucking... Just the hello. Just dick high. Can I suck you off? I'm like, you're a fucking cartoon pitcher. Your emoji's a cartoon pitcher.

Can I... I don't know you, cartoon pitcher. But what about right now? I'm like, no right now. But then somebody was like, what about if it's dirty? And I was like, I'd prefer to shower you know like ew and it's like no real dirty and i'm like okay so honestly what are we talking here do you really want to eat shit and they're like yeah that's what that means and then i was like i thought you got sick from that and then i've had somebody break it down to me nah every now and then I like to do it and I would totally do it.

If you came, I told my wife. She was like, show me the message because she didn't believe me. And I was like, look at the conversation I had. This guy's like, come over and shit in my mouth. Get the fuck out. Right? He lives around here. He's local. He's local.

Use code honey to do it at the Santa Monica Music Center. Get 10% off. He's probably been in here. He might be running a trumpet from us right now. He's probably going to come on one of your

Patreon shows. He's probably shoving it up his ass. I ate a shit the other day for some fucking shit. He's got a clarinet up his ass right now. Yeah, the streets are crazy.

The streets are crazy. You ain't lying, man. There's some weird people out there. There are some freaks out there. I dig it, you know? I dig, like, live your life. As long as you're not hurting anybody, you know? I don't disagree.

I don't find that to be, I don't hate that person. So what surprised you that you're into? Like what was like, man. Cock and ball torture. Torture? Like are you into the cages and shit? Wait, where I stay in a cage for a long time? No.

I'm in a hurry. I need to come pretty soon. The dick cage. Yeah. You're into that? No, no, no. Like where you can't get a boner? Yeah.

I'm getting a boner all the time, especially if somebody's touching my dick. I don't know why anybody would want to hold that back. I'm like, yeah, my one is about having a boner all the time. I don't have like, yeah, let's have a thing where I stay flaccid. No, I don't want to play that game. It's more of she ties ropes around your balls and your dick and shit and then puts weights on the ropes. Pornum's the key to it. to it porn is the key to it but then like slaps and canes on it and stuff but then yeah but she puts

candy cane nah like fucking like fucking cracking bad boy on your ass canes and and then like suffocation shit so she does all these things you You're into suffocation too? Yeah. I mean, man, you're making me sound. I'm not making you sound anyway. You're saying it. I'm just asking. Some people get panic attacked about being in. Listen, just so you know, this episode will be demonetized by YouTube.

It's fine. We can talk about whatever you want because just so you know. That's why I can't make any money on YouTube. Everything I say, I get demonetized. As soon as my mouth opens. I haven't even told you this. Recently, they said they had a person go back through my library

and all of yours have been demonetized. I think they know you and Joey Diaz. I can't do anything. I can't get any downloads. I promise you, we might get a handful of downloads and then it'll be a yellow fucking dollar sign. I might change my shit.

Why you change who you are for YouTube, bro? Okay, good point. All right, well then fuck them. So, okay, you're into torture. Like you're into that, huh? Yeah, not really. But yeah, it turns out where I got a mistress and then she got into that. And then it turned out that, yes, I did like that.

Not now. Are you into the like, I've seen these Japanese videos where they stomp on these guys in the heels and shit. And these guys are screaming screaming but asking for more. I heard that's kind of fake. I got a friend that's in porn, a guy, and he said he did some of those

and he said that oftentimes he hires people and they kick, most of the foot goes in the ass. But it still hurts. Yeah, I'm sure. But he does it for the money

because he makes a lot of money from the videos but he's not into it. He's a ball torture guy. But some people are. Some people like really pay missions. Well, some people are into it. He's a ball torture guy. Some people are. Some people really pay missions. Some people are into everything. There's something out there, obviously.

Yeah, but I don't want to get... What scares you? My ex-wife. What? I ain't fucking with her. I hope she doesn't take that the wrong way. Is this the ex-wife that you took the 50 grand and that you buddy page in, started your business?

No, that's the wife before her. Fuck her. Not scared of her. Not scared of her. No, I like her. I think that's why I'm scared of her. She's a nice person. I feel sorry for her a little bit.

Are you in contact with her at all? She's the mother of my children. Oh, your first wife is, not your second. No, my second wife is the mother of my children. My third wife is the one I have now. Who's your first wife? This Australian chick that used to beat me up. Remember I told you she beat me up a couple times?

Yeah, she was the one. Okay. We didn't have kids. No kids with her. Okay, so you have kids no kids with her okay so you have clean ties cut with her i mean you're cut yeah good yeah if and that'd be a different if i saw her now i would definitely um like if she walked straight up to me i would get in a fighting stance not to punch just to protect myself because i don't that's how crazy i think that person is like if she was just walking unless she was like hey i'd be Unless she was like, hey, I'd be like, hey.

I wouldn't hug her. I'd be like, I'm good. Are you? Because I'm trying to just fucking live. Is that cool? She scares the shit out of me. It was that bad, huh? Just don't want to get.

It's just like people punching me or hitting me for no reason is mentally scarring to me now you know like it doesn't it takes that would be a big hit if some girl was like the fuck what you looking at motherfucker and i wasn't doing anything and they just punched me in the face that would trigger me hard because that that was a thing where i was just letting it happen and now i don't let people do things like that to me anymore. So it would be very complex. I'd be like,

can somebody, like you said, the guy that got kicked in the balls, can somebody get her? Yes, exactly. Cause I don't like that. Even if it looked like it didn't do anything,

it fucking did. Somebody get this bitch, please. That's why I like that my wife now trains and stuff. I'm like, if it ever got down to that. She's got your back. Yeah, I'd be like, talk to her about it. She'll piss you up.

Maybe not. She's so sweet. I mean, she probably would. She looks like she'd fight, though. She really wouldn't. She's very similar to me. She doesn't like actual street fighting things but she is somebody that likes pain you know but not she's like it's the altercation that she's into i know your wife she's little too yeah what's what's uh do you who has the higher pain tolerance threshold?

Man, probably her. I don't know. It's different. Like, she has, she does tattoos. Like, she got the back of her legs tattooed from her ass down to her ankle. Oh, my God. All the way down? Yeah.

Oh, my God. That's fucking so, she just didn't give a shit about that. So, it's like those things. But, oh, you know what? She broke her back. She's in a car crash and she broke her back and then she's had two back surgeries. But when she got that first back surgery, she looked like she was in pain. Did she look like it? Yeah.

She was asking for all the painkillers. So she's not that tough. Oh, shit. Yeah, but she's fucking awesome. That's what I'm saying, man. You get lucky like that. That's what I want to say. To find somebody to let you really spread your wings and your wings.

Or your ass. Well, that's what I'm saying. My wings are fucking big old butt cheeks. It's not everybody wants to let their husband spread those, you know? And to be quite frank, I don't think she appreciates. She's not trying to get on your knees and let me buttfuck you kind of girl, you know? She likes me being a crusher. She likes me being the boss of things.

But she's like, I get it. You want to live different lives. You want to do different stuff in your life. And don't let me stop you, you know? If it makes you happy, because I think let me stop you you know if it makes you happy because i think she can tell you know there's certain things that i like to do with certain people that it's part of my life that's like what i have left you know like i don't drink i don't do blow i don't do fucking prostitutes i don't i mean i clean up a lot of things and i've apologized to a lot of

people for the way that i've acted in my life and now the things that I do, they don't hurt anybody. If anything, the other people that I do it with makes their day too and we're all good with it. This can come out. My kids can see it. Dad did it. Dad did it. If your friends want to make fun of you

for what your dad did, go ahead, but just know that people live their lives. People get fucked in the ass. There's nothing wrong with it. Got fucked in the ass the other day. I'm fucking very happy about it. What you going to do about it? Stop me on the street?

Try to fucking, what are you going to, no one's going to stop me from doing anything. I'm very happy with it. Told my wife about it. Oh, Jesus. All right. Let's, I have questions for you. So let's talk about, you said recently was the first time you got fucked by a guy.

Yeah, yeah, because that's my new thing. What do you mean your new thing? Well, now I can do that. You're going to be insubmissive or you're a power bomb. No, it's called a flip. You're a flip fucker. What's that mean? It means you're a top and a bottom.

You can flip. A lot of people can't do it. lot of people this is crazy people claim all bottoms claim their verse and all bottoms it's a trap wait what do you mean if you're a bottom you claim your verse verse means that you can top and bottom okay so but you but people most guys just want to get bottomed once they figure out how to get bottomed, guys don't start playing anything else anymore because it's a better orgasm. Yeah, I'm sure. But some guys, to me,

this is going to sound wrong, but more gay is someone who's a total bottom. To me, that's a little more gay. Like a guy, even though it's totally gay to go around banging dudes, it's just more of a, you're the manly,'s so stupid but you're another john walters line in the movie pecker the guy goes they go you're gay he goes i ain't gay i don't blow them they blow me that's exactly what he's that's his logic right which which i get you yeah sure it's gay turned down just a little bit but you're still on the fucking i can still hear you're gay buddy

you're coming in loud and clear over here so it's not completely true but it is a little bit there is a little fact to it but um yeah once i kind of figured out how to do stuff with my wife with a with a strap on or a dildo or whatever then obviously it's kind of like those toys are pretty good but they're not as good as the real thing like they just don't make things but they're not as good as the real thing. They just don't make things that fit in you as comfortable as this is so gross. I feel weird talking to you about it. Well, let me just say this.

It's like a rubber thing is a little stickier and stuff. You need different stuff to make it work, and real dicks work better. Great. All right, real dicks work better. I can't wait for the fucking promo. So it sounds like no condom then? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on PrEP.

What's that? It's a thing that stops you from contracting HIV. Really? Yeah. What about any other STDs though? Did you know that if you have, or if you get- You still get everything else? Well, I don't, I'm not a fucking giant ho bag, all right?

I just don't deliver the ass for all cocks, all right? I got two regular dicks that go in there all right and i check with them they get fucking i got a couple rubber friends as well but who's the who's the guy that you were like okay i'm gonna let this guy take my ass virginity oh well that didn't count dude yeah it did i already got my ass virginity I'm talking about actually like that. Yeah, when I wanted to. Intercourse, yes. Yeah, when I agreed to it. Yeah, when you were like, yep, I'm going to do this.

Did you know the person? You don't have to say it, obviously. Did I know the person? Yeah. Wasn't some dude, random dude offline. It was with a rubber too. It was. Because this is when I was still, I hadn't taken prep and I was still like,

I didn't do guys. It was more of you could just suck me off. That was it. Because I was like, I don't want to get anything from anybody. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. This all scares me. And then when talking to my wife about it, she's like, if you're going to do stuff, you may as well just be smart about it and just get on all the things. And then you won't have to worry about that.

You don't want to worry about getting HIV. And I'm like, I agree. have to worry about that like you don't want to worry about getting hiv and i'm like i agree and she's like if you're gonna do butt stuff and you you want to you think you're gonna do it again in your life why not just take that fucking pill you don't drink like it won't do anything to you there's no side effects and i was like yeah okay so i do so if it ever does come up and now it does because i have two people but both those two people have other partners oh so it could still even though i kind of trust them i kind of don't you know so i i i only i just take that pill and it's only those two and if there's a new person

then it's kind of more of a a you know a dating thing where you get to know them before you let that happen because you're like you know do you for sure really not do any hard drugs because i know i know a lot of people still are okay with it, but I'm not. I just feel like if you're around my age and you're still like every now and then you do a key bump of meth, I don't need your dick anyway, Nimi.

I'm all right. Just don't need to risk it. It's your dick. I love it. Here's what I want to talk about. You've been married twice, three times. Yeah. What have you learned in this marriage that you wish you,

maybe not wish because you seem to be happy, but that you didn't know. I still wish it because I believe those people were treated incorrectly. I could have been a better husband. Even if we're not together, they didn't deserve to go through any of that shit. I didn't deserve to go through what they put me through either. I'm not saying it was just all one-sided,

but I definitely don't listen. I only think about myself. I spent years like skateboard, skateboard, skateboard, skateboard. Then I get into radio, radio, radio, radio. I didn't fucking – it's all about me. What's going to be next is the me show followed by a little bit more of the me fucking – But listen, that also – I say this a lot.

I feel sorry for people to live with it. I agree, but what we do is selfish. It's like I say all the time. Comedy is a solo sport. It's like tennis. We don't have a team of 10 other guys with us. And it is selfish. We've left family, friends, our homes, our everything.

And we still go for this one thing. I don't mean that we're bad people in any way. But by the nature of what we do and what we've lived and set ourselves up you're always talking you're always thinking about it i mean even when you're not doing it we're talking again we're always us it's selfish everybody i talk to is only talking about that so they're never totally included and then i feel like i did that a little bit with my kids like i think i got lucky with having them a little bit later in life and gathering what was important.

But still, I missed time. There was still a few in the heyday of that SiriusXM shit. I was way more into doing the show than spending time with the kids. I can admit it now, but now I'm trying to hang out with them and they're busy trying to do stuff. I'm like, that's what you get, dude. You had your fucking window, but you were like, I'm going to be the next Howard Stern.

So it's do this, do that. Yeah, I'll take that interview. I'll do any interview. I'll fly to New York tomorrow. Like I would go anywhere at any second for any interview because I thought it was my next big thing. And, you know, can the kids come? Like, no, I didn't even fucking ask sometimes.

Just, yep, just let me go. It's all you're thinking about. Can the kids come? Like, no, I didn't even fucking ask sometimes. Just, yep, just let me go. It's all you're thinking about. So now I'm like, I really would like those back, you know, because in the end being big on the radio doesn't really mean shit. None of it, right? Nobody even fucking cares. None of it does. And I don't even care now.

I mean, I would easily give up everything just to be a dad if that was my only choice. So I hate that. That's probably the biggest pain in my life is divorced. Wow. I don't have as much money now, so I don't have the power that I used to have, so I don't get the kids as much. And they're busy.

They're like teens and stuff. How old are they now? 16 and 12. 16 and 12. And they want to do their things. So it's like you get a good one in every now and then, 16s and stuff. How old are they now? 16 and 12. 16 and 12. And they want to do their things, you know? So it's like you get a good one in every now and then, but every now and then it's not enough, you know?

I'm like, fuck. Like every now and then we bro down, and then who knows the next time we like bro down. If you're there in my house every day, every night, more chances of that happening, and now I don't have that. I feel like you're getting further away from me. How close do they live? About an hour.

Okay. Yeah. So, but, you know, my daughter's super busy now. She's got school and then she's got her friends and I'm not cool. Right. And I don't want to bug her. I don't want to be like, hey, spend some time with your dad

and just be lame for a few hours. Like, don't be lame for a few hours. Like, go with your friends. Live your fucking life. So, yeah, there's that't want to be like, hey, spend some time with your dad and just be lame for a few hours. Don't be lame for a few hours. Go with your friends. Live your fucking life. So yeah, there's that thing where I'm like, oh man, you know what you did for a second there? You rock and rolled out, didn't you? You thought it was way more important. I could have even argued with her and proven myself correct in this was more important than me being at home. Because I'm going to make it. I'm going to be a star.

People are going to recognize me. The fuck, dude. I mean, that's powerful and honest for you to admit. I say all the time, I genuinely don't give a fuck about fame. It may come with what we do. That's why I can admit it. It's fucking embarrassing. I just want to be the same asshole in a different tax bracket that is yeah i heard you say that i

believe you i put that shit up on fucking i believe you that's why i don't like i'm not you know we we talk about this and it's like i mean i guess i know i i you know it's what i my trauma i live with like man my dad i would love the time my dad was like, you want to run up to the store with me real quick and get some shit to go crabbing tomorrow? Like, nah, I'm just going to play video games. You go grab it. Right.

That happens all the time. What would I do to fucking have that hour, hour and a half with him? Right, but that's like cats in the cradle, dude. What I would have done with that conversation, too, it's sure not going to be some bullshit about school and whatever you know but i try to have those moments with my daughter like i just hug her all the time and she's like dad you know she can't fucking take it and i'm like you don't get it yeah you don't get it who knows what the next tomorrow you know or if i say you know what i can do when i'm not around she's like shut up yeah i'm like i'm fucking you don't know it. Who knows what the next is tomorrow, you know? Or if I say, you know, what are you going to do when I'm not around?

She's like, shut up. Yeah. I'm like, I'm fucking, you don't know. Why not be around? I'm like, can we just hang out a little bit? It's getting to that point. Like, I'm very proud that I've introduced my daughter to who my father was. I show her pictures of him all the time.

She knows Grandpa Lefty. She cried one night. In bed we're laying. She started crying. I go, why are you crying? She's like, because I miss Grandpa Lefty. i dude it fucking blew me away i started crying i'm like this little fucking child that wasn't even didn't even exist when my pain first happened is feeling her own man it tripped me out and we laid there and i was like you know what

so i teach her about her great great grandmother you know my grandma my dad and starting to get to the point now where she's like well you had you know grandma judy there i was like actually grandma was gone well why i can't understand you know i try to i don't i'm learning how to tell her that like i just say yeah she wasn't well for a while and you know whatever like 25 30 years you know how do you tell a fucking six-year-old? I'm in the same boat. I don't say exactly what happened in my childhood. My kids know that something bad happened in my childhood,

and there's little hints there where I think my daughter kind of knows, but I've never just flat out said it. For me. I feel like they're too young to know about yeah they are and i'm and i'm so like grateful for everything that this podcast does for me for my family and and for my guests and their stories and for the fans that constantly are sending me you know hey this is saving my life but i'm so fucking glad that I've been able to keep my father and my grandmother alive through these stories. And that more than anything, when I'm gone, my daughter can sit and listen to any of this shit and hear exactly what we did, who we were.

You know, it doesn't matter. People are your dad's a dick or your dad was great. Your dad, whatever. It's you listen to this and just make that decision for yourself. It's all here. It's unfiltered. It's as to this and just make that decision for yourself. It's all here. It's unfiltered. It's as real as it fucking gets. It's brutal.

It's ugly. It's beautiful. So I'm glad that we are able to do this type of show and have that for our kids to listen to. Yeah, and just because there's bad stuff in it doesn't make it bad anyway. I feel like there's tons of bad stuff about a lot of people in my family, but there's a lot of good stuff about them. And that I have both of those in me,

and I have the choice to decide which path to go down, you know? Because I feel that. I mean, there's a voice in there that's like, just do all the fucking bumps again, you know what I mean? Fucking fight everybody, set the world on fire. And I'm like, it's funny. It's funny that that courses through my veins. What a childish thing that I have.

Like my relatives, they must have really, I'm surprised that they lived long enough to come in an adult to make a baby because, boy, did I, we only have bad decisions. You know, I don't know how our family gene made it to like adulthood. Like how did we actually decide to go the right way and become a man because we're crazy but then the other part of me well i thought about this today too like testosterone just testosterone i'm curious if there are going to be trans men who are going to be like i I'm sorry. You know what I mean? Like, I had no idea.

I'm full of testosterone right now. Dude, I had a guy on my show the other day that was born a girl. Now he's a guy. I boxed him. He's a pro boxer. He used to be a female boxer. Now he's a male boxer. And he's a dude.

And he can kick ass. And I was like, how's that testosterone when you first got on it? He's like, it's amazing. Right? Yeah, we're cheating. Yeah, what women don't realize is that, like, testosterone, while you're over there possibly journaling and, you know, talking to your girlfriends, like, we'll go fuck somebody in a cave. Like, it's not here all the time. It is this shit that will drive you you like, I probably shouldn't.

I remember getting in strange girls' cars when I was in my 20s and 30s out here in L.A. We'd meet them at a bar, and then me and my buddy, I'll never forget, he looked at me, he's like, we're in a stranger's car, we're in a stranger's car, we're in a stranger's car. And I was like, why are you ruining this? Dude, I was telling somebody the other day, I walked out of a club in Florida. I was supposed to do a demo, and it got rained out, so I just started drinking the whole day. And I guess Ken Block's wife, because they lived in Florida, she was escorting me out of the club because I was so fucking wasted. And I guess she looked one way as a car drove by with a bunch of fat chicks in it.

And I just fucking dove headfirst into the back window. No. And Lucy was like, no, Jason! Oh my God. And she said that my legs just drove off in a vehicle out of Florida, out into the back window. No. And Lucy was like, no, Jason! Oh, my God. And she said that my legs just drove off in a vehicle out of Florida, out into the night. And I just disappeared. But they went to a hotel room where Unwritten Law was,

and then I drank all their- What's that? This band, Unwritten Law. Oh, okay, I was going to say, is that an actual thing? No, it's a band. But I knew the singer. He hired me once to do skateboarding in one of their music videos,

and I was like, hey, it's the rock and roll guy. And he was like, hey, it's skateboard guy. And I was like, let me drink all your alcohol and try to have sex with these large ladies. And then I drank so much that I did the, you know, when you hold onto the toilet and vomit. And then they wrote dick on my head. Nuh-uh. Yeah, and then they drew a dick on my head. To the guy that dove in their vehicle.

Yeah, and I didn't sleep with anybody which is that's the other time where i try to sleep with a really large lady at a contest we were at a nightclub afterwards and i need to say really large 400 420 biggest girl i've ever tried to sleep with and i was a young man and i was at the club and she was looking at me so i was like fuck yeah i'll go talk to her and this is back when skateboard and she was looking at me. So I was like, fuck you, I'll go talk to her. And this is back when skateboarding, I was still pretty cool. And some of my skateboard friends were like, really, dude? And this was, I was like, yeah, yeah, really?

Like, fuck you, man. Like, yeah, I'm going to try and fuck this biggest lady ever. I remember I was trying to hold on to her and her head was as far away as you were and her titties were on me no she was gigantic dude and I got this hotel room because I did well in this contest so so I got a room with a jacuzzi because I always had player like I was ready to pimp when I didn't have any money it's kind of like a bit of a shitty Conor McGregor before Conor McGregor where I was like if I got any money I just bought like something fabulous with it so i got this room

that i couldn't afford and it had a fucking the outdoor jacuzzi in the room it's confusing but i remember i'm so wasted i get back to the house and i remember making out with her several times on the way to the hotel room and also mentioning how hard I was going to give it to her when I got to the room. So big brag about how I'm going to give it to you. Don't even worry about it. And then I get to the room and we get in the jacuzzi and she gets in the jacuzzi. And I remember watching it like it was slow-mo, like when she took all her clothes off, because I'd never seen anybody that large naked before, and I was like, whoa. Because her back had, like, different wrinkles that people don't have, and I'm like, whoa,

that is crazy. Not gross. I'm like, whoa, I didn't even know people could do that. And then she had to do the leg scissor over to get in. Like Andre the Giant over the top rope. Dude. The beef area? not seen anything for a long time. So it was like this fucking unfolding, like, you know, the predator's mouth.

Like there's layers. It was like, and then all of a sudden, and there's this, I mean, then there's the pussy, like, and it's compressed. Because it's just been fucking getting it. Getting it. And it was like. And then back here for a second, I was like, hey, buddy. Hold on. I'll see you later.

Why did you put that in me? Let me get a couple breaths out of here. That thing was fucking choking. And you couldn't have sex? No. So then I get it. So we make out in the jacuzzi and we fool around. I'm like, all right, let's get in the bed.

And then I get on the bed and I fall on my back on the bed. And she starts blowing me. And I pass out. So I wake up in the morning. She's not there. I check my wallet and the fridge. And I'm like, didn't take anything. The fridge? like didn't take anything the fridge i didn't mean that you know what i mean i had dude i was poor man there was like kit kats in there and shit

it was a really nice hotel It had like the best snacks dude Like all Kit Kat and shit I saw the money and I was like For sure the fridge is gone For sure And I'm like whoa Not even one candy bar

Solid Solid chick And I felt really bad solid solid chick and I felt really bad oh my god so I didn't do it alright but it was a thought that counts you know well I gotta say

I can't thank you for coming in here I mean what else we're gonna wrap it up there promote let me say this again too real quick i didn't say it at the top thank you for coming in thanks for having me it's late as fuck at night uh i want to thank any i want to thank nadav josh potter kirsten everybody uh stefan martin everybody that has stepped in here to help in some way uh we've had a wild couple of weeks is all I'll say.

We're getting everything straightened out, so I appreciate you coming in to make me laugh and talk about your fucking lowlights, bro. God damn. Plug again the fight and everything, please. Oh, Alice Mania, you can't get tickets yet. Maybe you can get tickets by when this comes out, but just type in Alice Mania,

or if you go to my website, thejasonalice.com. I believe if you just type in Jason Alice on Google, it will show you me and my potential event. And look, if it doesn't happen, I'm probably going to go to Skank Fest. I'm definitely going to Skank Fest anyway, so that's November 7th. So I'll be there to promote, and maybe I'll just knock out Lewis at Skankfest. All right.

So in the next – after – it's either Lewis is snoring November 7th or any day from there on. All right. I also don't want to forget to thank tom and christina as well all right uh i am ryan sickler as always ryan sickler.com ryan sickler on all social media we will talk to you all next week you