The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Jason Ellis - Dewd Seriously

Episode Date: June 14, 2021

My HoneyDew this week is Jason Ellis! Jason returns and picks up right where he left off! There’s only one Jason Ellis and he’s got a shitload of stories! Check out his new podcast with Tony Hawk, Hawk vs Wolf! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew SPONSORS: LIQUID IV Get your Liquid I.V.’s Hydration Multiplier PLUS Immune Support in bulk at Costco or order online and get 25% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.COM and use code HONEYDEW at checkout. That’s 25% off ANYTHING you order when you get better hydration today using promo code HONEYDEW at LIQUIDIV.COM RITUAL Get key nutrients-without the B.S. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit RITUAL.COM/HONEYDEW to start your Ritual today. GOHENRY Get started at GOHENRY.COM and get one month free with promo code HONEYDEW. That’s one month free at GOHENRY.COM, promo code HONEYDEW. TRUFF Get 15% off site-wide plus FREE shipping with promo code HONEYDEW at TRUFF.COM. That’s 15% off everything at TRUFF.COM promo code HONEYDEW

Hey everybody, I just want to remind you September 16th through the 18th I'll be at the Phoenix House of Comedy building out the tour now so you'll start seeing more dates on ryansickler.com and this episode of The Honeydew is brought to you by Liquid IV, Ritual, Go Henry, and Truff. More on that later, let's get into the do. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We are over here doing it in the Night Pant Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. I want to just let you know now it's a little early, but we're doing it anyway.

I'm starting to promote dates, so let me look at them. September 16th through the 18th, I will be in Phoenix, Phoenix House of Comedy, September 16th through the 18th. Go to my website, RyanSickler.com. Tickets will be available there. And please subscribe to the YouTube channel. Don't just watch. Hit that subscribe.

It means nothing to you and everything to us. Everything. Hit the subscribe. And thank you for your support. The community continues to grow and grow. And the Patreon as well. The honeydew of the all. If you or someone you know, you do not have to be a member of the Patreon, has that story that has to be heard, submit it to honeydewpodcast at gmail.com.

Nowhere else, even though you guys keep sending it everywhere else and then yelling at me because I don't respond to your email that's not sent where I said to send it. And then I don't respond to being yelled at. Okay? So honeydewpodcast at gmail.com. That's where you send your stories. And hopefully we have to do an episode with y'all. All right?

It's a lot of fun. I loved my fucking job and the stories are, we just had a guy get a kidney transplant from his best friend who kind of didn't want to fucking do it. Uh, so check it out. All right. It's only five bucks a month and you now get, um, the honeydew audio and video on Mondays a day early ad, at no additional cost. There's no cost to it. All right? It's $5 a month. Sign up for a year.

It's a month free. All right? You guys know I record here at the Santa Monica Music Center, working with Outreach to the Arts right now, creating a couple podcasts. I'm also teaching a high school class at Culver City now, teaching them how to podcast. Ash and I are having fun with these kids and teaching them a lot of stuff. So you'll be seeing stuff coming out eventually when, you know, it's got to be all approved through school and shit.

So anyway, you guys know what we do here. All right? We highlight the lowlights. It's a beautiful shit show, y'all. And today the stories behind this storyteller i'm sure are going to be some shit we've never heard guys uh back again here ladies and gentlemen please welcome jason ellis y'all welcome back to the honey finally finally fucking big dude this is a big day for me i had no idea how big it was to be here the first time it's like uh you are my you should change the

name to the ryan sickler experience because it's heavy for me everybody joe rogan might have a problem with that okay we should probably not fuck with him but i should we should i want i like you should be my representation to all the public of podcasting because i feel like you just i everybody accepts me through ryan sickler no it is dude this is i don't you should come on my show and anytime you want me here i should come on here and that's it for me i don't need to book anybody i don't need to talk to anybody hey man we man, we got Oprah. Why? Why? I got Sickler. Everybody loves Sickler. I don't understand why I would get Oprah.

Someone's going to be like, oh, yeah, nice one. Fucking kissing some chick's ass. Sickler, love it, dude. Woo! You guys are hilarious. That's very flattering. It makes me feel fucking good, man. That's my podcast survey.

Since I've seen you, that's what I know. That's what I've got. Well, I'm glad to have you back anytime you fucking want. I mean, your shit last time was just – it's absolutely one of the most commented on show. And I told you, guests come on and they sit down over there like, I don't know, man. I don't have any Jason Ellis stories. I'm like, yeah, only Jason Ellis has Jason Ellis stories. So real quick, before we get into everything, please plug everything right now.

We'll do it again at the end, but please get that out now. The Jason Ellis show, that's my show. Putting a lot of work into that, so if anybody would like to check that out, it comes out every Tuesday at midnight. The Jason Ellis show podcast. It's free.

It's on YouTube. All that stuff. Like and subscribe. That would be really cool. And then Hawk vs. Wolf first episode drops on the 24th of May, and that's a podcast with Tony Hawk and me talking about life, obviously based from older skateboarders. All right. I can't wait to fucking listen to that shit.

I really like it because he's way better of a storyteller now, and he's passed the talking only for 11-year-olds and under. Like, he can just say a story that involves being a mature adult, and it's like, whoa, because he never usually exposes that oh so he gets vulnerable on there huh yeah i love that well it's also that's what i say all the time like you to see the maturity of that man like that's the michael jordan of fucking skating right yeah tony hawk he's the he's the pinnacle of fucking skateboarding we all love tony hawk but to watch to him to talk with you about his challenges his fuck-ups his immature shit like I would love to hear that like damn Tony Hawk did that shit you

know that's I think it's I think it's very uplifting actually yeah no he's surprisingly he he went through a lot of struggles and as a fan from when I didn't know him as a youngster knowing that there were certain times where he was struggling for the way he was being treated in skateboarding. And I was a part of it, you know, because I was like, he is a nerd. He's got a pink helmet on, and he doesn't do, you know, what Christian Osoi did. So there was like two sides, and to know that he wished he was cooler or sometimes he regrets that he didn't party.

And I'm like, man, I'm glad you didn't, you know, because people needed the other side to – because he's a better influencer than anybody else. If you looked up to him in skateboarding, that was a good idea. He was doing the right thing. He's still doing it. You just brought up Michael Jordan. Imagine if Michael Jordan still played basketball.

I know. And still 360 dunking. It's not just played basketball, but fucking played basketball. Tony is at the ramp. Yes. I watch him. I love him. I love what he does. Yeah, me too. So that's weekly what, Tommy? Yeah. Everywhere you get podcasts.

Yep. Hawk and Wolf. Hawk versus Wolf. Hawk versus Wolf. We don't fight each other. I'm trying to get him to fight me or somebody else because he agreed that I could teach him how to box a little bit. And I was like, if I teach you a good one, too, then you got to fight somebody. He's like, who can I fight? I'm like, Steve-O.

You can fight Steve-O. But he probably won't do it. But I'm just trying to get Tony to punch people. I think it's funny. He's not a fighter. Yeah, he doesn't look like a fighter. No, but I still want to see him punch. I want to see you punch me, too. I'll punch you. If you let me punch you, I'll punch you. I appreciate that. Yeah, he doesn't look like a fighter. No, but I still want to see him punch. I want to see you punch me, too.

I'll punch you. If you let me punch you, I'll punch you. I appreciate that. Yeah, no problem. Yeah. I'm the same way. I need a little bit of the pain. I get it.

Yeah, and I just feel like it would be fun. You know, let's get a good workout. You can really go for it, you know? I will just go for it. I'll be throwing up and missing you. It's only three minutes, but it does get long. That's 300 minutes when you haven't fucking boxed. Yeah, you're probably good for about a minute.

I've trained. I've never boxed. I've worked on bags and mitts. But do you jog or anything? No, hell no. Do I look like I do road work? No. I don't know, dude.

Bud Crusher fucking runs every day, and he's way fatter than you. You're right about that. Come on. come on uh he's almost a super athlete it's for like that shape i fucking can't believe it he's gonna say all he says that mickey mantel gene he must really have that now the machine is a good name for him yeah all right so uh let's talk. The last episode was just mind-blowing shit. There's been nothing like that. But obviously we didn't get to all of your stuff. So you've struggled with heroin. You've struggled with addiction, obviously.

Tell me about – all right. Let me ask you this way. What's the best drug you've ever done? What's the most fun you've ever had doing a drug? I mean, I think that's got to be... Excluding weed. We're not even going to throw weed in. It's got to be Molly, right? Is that right?

I've never had it. I feel like, I mean, to me, the best time is when you're having sex. If I could do a skateboard trick and have sex at the same time, that'd be pretty good. But it's just pretty difficult to do that. One time I had sex with a girl in a shopping trolley. But we were going down the road. Wait, you fucked in a grocery cart? Yeah, yeah.

Because we found it on the side of the road. And I was like, it'd be cool if we did that. Dude, I'm the same way. I'll share. Go ahead. But going down the road, the road was like a little bit like that. So it started to go off towards the gutter. I'm not going to pump her into the gutter and go ass first with my dick stuck in somebody.

Somebody could get really hurt. I don't even know what kind of slam that in my head on the ground and a boner in somebody. You can snap your boner, too. You could probably come really hard like that, though, I'll bet. Crack your fucking head and make it nut everywhere. I'm not a cum for you. I never thought I was going to say this, but I'm not a cum slammer. Did not know that I was going to say that today.

Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah, but heroin is – Wait, let's go back to some weird places you've had sex. So we drove past a construction site. You know how they leave the bulldozers overnight because nobody can steal it. They just take the keys and shit. You fuck on a bulldozer?

Yeah, we did on a bulldozer. Yeah, wait. In the seat? No, on the fucking – on the treads. We just stood up on it. No, on the fucking – on the treads. We just stood up on it. Oh, on the – Yeah, well, the doors are locked and they take the keys. So we just stood up on the tread because the tread is like this wide.

So like just doggies? Yeah, standing up doggie style. But the one that got away, this one bummed me out. We tried, but it was protected. There happened to be – I don't know what it was, a parade or whatever, but there was a fucking tank in the parking lot of the shopping mall. And they had security, like one guy, but he would drive the whole fucking mall. So we were trying to get on that tank.

I wish I could say I had sex on a tank, but we couldn't. We tried. We were sneaking up, trying to get out. A guy come by with a flashlight and shit. I'm like, God damn it. Man, yours are way more glorious than mine. Why? Your shopping cart, what else do you have?

I had sex with a chick in a dog kennel. And she was – I follow her now on Instagram. She has like a kid and stuff. She's a nice lady. She's like a nice lady. But at the time, I was living with some pro surfers, a nice lady she's like a nice lady but at the time i was living with some pro surfers and i had this weird little room where i was uh smoking coke a lot and i didn't know how to do crack and my nose would hurt from doing so much coke so i would just sprinkle coke while you're

snorting it and okay so you switch the smoke in it because you're yeah is that like a cocoa puff in a way yeah that's what we called it yeah right, so Cocoa Puff. So I had these. I bought, I mean, pro skateboarder, no real other life. I bought guinea pigs or gerbils or something. I don't know what they were, little guys. And they all fucked. And I'd go to a contest and come back, and they'd be like, there was like 100 of them. Are you serious?

Dude, they ate each other's heads and butts. No. I saw heads. And I'm like, you ate his ass. You ate. Somebody ate somebody else's. You come back and it will be dead and it will be missing an ass? There was heads.

Like somebody. What are you talking about? Dude, I swear. I don't know any of this. Jebels have no remorse. Like they do not play. They fucking eat their babies. I don't know any of this.

Is that right? Apparently, I can only tell you from outside looking in, I'm not in the community. You're not in the gerbil community? I'm not in the gerbil community. Fucking proud to say that, actually. Another thing you probably didn't think you were going to say. A lot of people probably were worried about that.

Is he a member of the gerbil community or is he not? Because I know he's a raging homo, so you never know. Turns out I'm not. Never put animals in me. So, yeah, and then I had a – it was like a really crusty, smelly box of slaughter, and then so she didn't really want to fuck in there. And I was like, we could just fuck in the dog kennel. She's got really nice teeth.

She was a dental assistant. I'm not going to say what i called her because i don't think it's she had a name for herself because she was and yeah no you're doing well yeah i didn't do it yeah but yeah dog kennel so never really anything uh you know on the top of a mountain or you know i mean on a ship or i never we used to just drive around used to just drive around and there would be a cornfield and we'd be like, you want to go fuck in the cornfield? We'd be like, yeah. And we'd just pull over and run off into the cornfield. You can't see.

You fuck in there and come back. Once I howled in a girl's ass on the roof of her house. I was so proud of myself. It was super hard to get her up there, too. She was so useless. Was it harder to get her up there or harder to howl in her ass it's not that hard to howl especially when you got a nice ass in front of it you know you can get right into it i still think that's such a glorious thing to do. Oh, was it? I just see you.

I just see the silhouette and a full moon up there. That's what I thought. That's what I visualized. I was like, that's living, you know? And was it a flat roof or was it like this? Oh, there was like the shingle things. Yeah, dangerous, man. Come on.

Fucking. Man, for her. You don't give a fuck i'm gonna grab that she'll be like she's all scratched up like her face is that would never happen man i'm i would be that was i would sincerely i would fucking jump in front of her face and push her back to i'm not that guy i'm sure i know you're you're a gentleman yeah i am sure everyone wants to know uh what technically you mean by howling like did you literally fucking oh oh fucking in our neighborhood animal style it was night time i didn't nobody was like hey quit that i didn't hear anybody say that. What hell did her asshole, man? Yeah. It was more like.

Try to sleep. Yeah. I was just really drunk and I liked saying it, you know? I like saying I'm going to hell in your ass. And then she was like, I'll do it. And I was like, okay, let's do it. No one ever did it. I never did it again.

Oh, my God. And it wasn't like a weird kinky thing. It was just. It was a one and done, yeah. I always liked wolves, you know? I liked James Hetfield because he would have on his guitar, kinky thing it was just there's a one and done yeah just i always liked wolves you know i like james hepfield because he would have on his guitar he had the fretboard where it was a man that turned into a wolf not not a monkey turned into a man you don't even get it i'm the wolf man you fucking

idiots i'm like i like that yeah he's cool i love that dude yeah right that was my first concert ever metallica and ozzy osbourne i was in seventh grade we convinced our parents to let us go and i will never forget seeing cliff burton oh wow you saw cliff i sure did i saw cliff we were in seventh grad stuff the ticket stub saw cliff burton so it was ozzy osbourne ultimate sin he was the headliner metallica was the opening band for him i was fest or whatever no this was way before that this is like i'm in seventh This is the 80s. Yeah. So it's just a regular tour. Ozzy's the headliner. Metallica's opening.

And it's the Master of Puppets album. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And they come out. And we had been listening to Master of Puppets. So it was me, my brother, and my buddy Jason. And Dan Oloski.

And his older brother, Brian, was like like y'all need to check this ride to lightning shit out we're like what the fuck is this you know and then we were like whoa so we got in early on then went back you know we're listening to kill them all and everything and then master of puppets hits our minds are blown like these guys are the fastest hardest rocking band we've ever heard and then we go to the concert it's three we're in seventh grade we convinced our parents to let us go together and we sat in the last row under the pavilion people are passing joints down and we're so scared you know we're just passing them right along like you probably would be like how old are you in seventh grade because i don't think i went to school 12 ish maybe oh no i went to school that long um

and then did we talk about that you dropped out of school um hold on we'll come back but i remember and and so funny because i crank metallica for my daughter all the time she loves them and she's like dad do you think their heads hurt when they bang i go you know it's so funny and i told this story this is why we're in a simulation i just told this story to her like two days ago that, yeah, I fucking couldn't believe seeing Cliff Burton. Like he didn't half-ass it. This motherfucker's head was banging the entire fucking time. And not just little dude, cranking.

And I remember being a kid just mesmerized by this guy. And then it was not even – I don't even think it was a month later, they had the bus accident and he died. So I got to see him. And then I got, then years later, I went to the Monsters of Rock and it was, that was a good, it was Faith No More. And then Metallica had the middle set and then it was GNR. But I always thought Metallica had the better set because they had that day into sunset into night. You know i mean i thought that was sick so you got a little bit of daylight and they're playing for their hour and a half two hours and by the time they're done it's pitch black now you know what i mean um and then of course gnr comes out an hour later because they didn't want to go out fucking follow that shit let's take a quick break and tell

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That's 25% off at anything you order when you get better hydration today using promo code honeydew at liquidiv.com. Our next sponsor is Ritual. Now, Ritual is my new daily multivitamin. I love it. I've been taking it for months now, and I'm not switching. I got them on regular monthly. It shows up in the mail, and boom, there it is. All right, and we deserve to know what we're putting on our bodies and why, especially when it comes to something we take every day. Ritual's clean, vegan-friendly multivitamin is formulated with high-quality nutrients and bioavailable forms your body can actually use.

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All right? Get key nutrients without the BS. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first three months. Visit ritual.com slash honeydew to start your ritual today. Now, let's get back to the dude. Yeah, he was a bitch, though. Axl was always bitchy. And if you're trying to compete and you're a guy that parties,

and Metallica was more of like, yeah, they they party but they were also way more interested in being the best so at that time you were probably going to lose if there was some sort of and you know he's like a hunter and shit and basically we had to get out of san francisco and shit like that he's he's like sober now he had like tons of battles with it too, right? He's a beast. I love all of them. I love the – but you know what I love and that's why I love our fans, like the support, that whole thing where if you've ever seen their Behind the Music where there was some band coming on before them when they were coming up in San Francisco,

but they were already super popular underground up there. And they said the whole audience turned their backs and just went like this until that band got off the stage because they were like, we're not here to see you. Right. I mean, they were that good, dude. I mean, eras of music and then go back and listen to that. Master of Puppets is a masterpiece.

It absolutely is. And then to hear them do it with the symphony and everything else, it's great. They're way better now. Speaking of masterpieces, back to your drunk stories. Which one? What happened? What's this one about you saying something about in a tent oh man okay so i'm sponsored by pal parelto it's uh it's i was on pal because uh the the bones brigade had existed before me and steve caballero who was in the Burns Brigade, was still on PAL at the time. So I was like, holy shit, I could be on a team with Steve Caballero. Yes, I'll do the deal.

So I'm on the team. I got to ask you, sorry to interrupt. Which one went to prison? Was it Hosoi? Yeah, Christian. It was Christian Hosoi. Okay. All right, sorry.

Go ahead. So I get on the team, and we do some tours and stuff and I get to meet Stevie and kind of be his friend. But obviously Stevie is Steve Caballero, so it's not – I've never been – my party side never really flexes in front of Stevie because he's on the Bones Brigade and he could call George Powell and I just don't want to look bad in front of somebody who is such a legend. So I always try to kind of do the demo.

And I'm like, yeah, Steve, all right, man. And then I'm going to take off. And then I go get crazy. So we're on this tour. I think it's big day out. So there's all rock and roll bands and all this shit. And every tour, every place we get, we just get a tent. So everyone gets a tent.

And it's, you know, it's Australia, summertime. So I go out that night and I get fucking super hammered. I used to do this thing when I was super hammered where I would say, wherever I was, I'm standing there. You can hang out. I'm standing there. And then I go, quick impression, Mel Meninga. Mel Meninga is like this fucking native New Zealand guy

that played in rugby. I don't even follow rugby. I just remember this Mel Meninger dude. He would always just knock everybody over. And then I'd run off and just smash something. Okay. So I'm partying in some city in Australia. How old are you at this time?

25, 26. Okay. And I go, quick this time? 25, 26. Okay. And I go, quick impression, Mel Meninga. Run off and there's a trash can that's like bolted to a pole on the sidewalk. And I fucking jump and smash into it and it snaps and spins around and hits the car on the park next to it. And then the bouncer comes out and he's going to beat me up

and everybody comes out and goes, no, he didn't mean it. And then they go, well, you better get the fuck out of here. And I'm like, fuck, sorry, whatever, go back to the tent. And I go to take a piss before I get in the tent, and I'm talking to myself, drunk as an asshole. And I just fell back. And I've never, usually when you fall,

like if you ever get frightened when you're peeing, you can kind of stop. But because I was so wasted, I was trying to get my dick to, like, steer it somewhere because I would try to get up and I'm like, wow, I can't get up. Steer it. And I'm like, instead of. Steer.

Yeah, because it's doing the fucking wheel. It's out of control. You know what I mean? I'm like, oh, oh. And I'm like, where is it? And I'm like, stop doing it at me. You know what I mean? I'm like, ah, ah. And I'm like, where is it? And I'm like, stop doing it at me. You know what I mean? And then finally, you know what I mean?

I'm like, oh, my. By the time I fucking get my dick in my hand, I've pissed all over myself. And I'm like, god damn it. I get in the tent. I'm like, man, what kind of idiot does that? And then I go to sleep. And I wake up, man, what kind of idiot does that? And then I go to sleep and I wake up and it's fucking, I mean, obviously I went to bed late and now it's in a stinking hot summer sun

and I've been asleep, you know what I mean, and it's probably about 11, I would say, so I've been baking in there. So I wake up. I wake up and my face is wet and I see my hand and my phone next to my hand and it's underwater because the tent is a plastic base. And I'm like, what the fuck? Why is it underwater? And I like lift my head up and I'm like, I fucking pissed myself.

How many times? Dude, I filled like maybe it was like, more weight in the head area, but the main area of the piss puddle was in my- I mean, if your phone's on it. And it wasn't like the phones of today. It was like a chunky one, and that fucking thing was gone. It was submerged. And this is back when phones that go submerged, they don't come back, dude.

You don't, like, try the SIM card out or some shit. It's over. Oh, God, dude. So I see that, and I'm like, oh, my God. And I'm like, my face is super puffy, and I fucking, like, try to unzip the tent and put my head out there. And I put my head out there, and I'm like, oh, the, like, I just sort of moved it out of the way, and put my head out there and Steve Caballero is coming

from the showers with his fucking bathroom kit, fucking towel because he's all organised and my face is all swollen and shit. And I didn't even know this, but apparently he was returning from the shower. He'd already walked by and apparently my leg was hanging out the whole time. So apparently I didn't even make it all the way into the tent when I made a piss puddle for myself and there was a line of ants going across the back of my leg.

Just rolling right along. So Steve Caballero is telling the story in the bus and I'm like, I'm fired. Like I'm kicked off for sure. And then he just thought it was funny or whatever but I remember thinking this is not what I want

to show Steve Caballero I was pretty bummed out about that but that's that's a fun one right yeah I mean it didn't hurt you right

no heroin was always it's no I didn't do anything bad how do you what are you doing that you finally transitioned to heroin? But knowing you also, it could just be somebody's like, hey, let's try this. I don't know.

Well, the first time I ever did it was black tar heroin in Vancouver. What exactly is black tar heroin? Dude, tell me about it. That's what I said. I just want to know about it. I don't want to do it. Dude, I've had two experiences. One time I snorted, but I don't want to get into that one.

to know about it i don't want to do it i've had two experience one time i snorted but i want to get into that one i've uh the first time i did it pro skateboarder and i would be doing all these bumps and then he's like we should get some heroin i was like yeah what's that like he's like oh if you get some black tar heroin you can just smoke it it's mellow and i was like oh okay sure well let's go to man what's the fucking park in vancouver that's sketchy as hell some park where a mile ahead of something else where somebody i forgot what it's called but we're there you know three in the morning anyone got any heroin like it's not very but somebody gave us some and then i remember you know he showed me you put this is your first time and you weren't you were like yup all the way you weren't like i don't know well this guy sounded like he'd done it before,

and he still skateboarded good. So I figured it's not that bad. Okay. Otherwise, I mean, he'd be in trouble. So they put the – it is – it looks like Vegemite. It's like tar-ish black shit, and you put it on the foil. I don't know any other way you do it. You put it on the foil, and then you hold the foil,

and then you heat it up, and you smoke it with the pen. A little glass pipe pen. No, just a pen. I mean, you could probably do it if you had a bigger budget, but that's not what we were doing. You hollowed out one of those old bicks like the best. Those are the best spitball pens. You know those white ones that either had the blue or the black?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You hollowed those out. We used to hit each other all the time. Yeah, i remember getting hit by those so you're fucking this is your first time yeah heating it up in the kitchen and then uh you know hey hey i feel it and i'm like cool not the biggest highlight of my life but i was like all right black tie heroin every now and then seems okay did you feel when you at your highest did you feel like you could function you did you feel like you can go skate on that right then?

No fucking way. No. No, there was a beer on the floor in front of me and I was going like this in front of it. I was trying to get the beer to go in my mouth. And that's the only part of my body I could move. And I was like, maybe my lip will tip it. And how long did you feel like that probably an hour or something okay and then what then I didn't you get addicted or well then I go then dude this is so

weird but to tell the real truth of it is in skateboarding I've hooked up with a trans chick in Australia in front of these two other pro skateboarders from Australia. We left the bar. In front of them. We were at a dinner, big dinner party. I took a bunch of ecstasy. And this fucking trans chick comes in. She's fucking hot as fuck. But it's back in the 90s.

So it's like nobody can touch her. And I've got a girlfriend at the time where we were trying to like have open relationship shit. And she knew that I was a little fruity and i i think she was just mad i don't know how it really worked but we locked eyes and we were just into each other and we just left together in front of everybody the girl yeah i told my girlfriend i'm like i'm gonna hook up with her. And she's like, yeah, yeah, fuck off. For real? Yeah. So I just leave. And I remember those two going, oh, you're fucking gay. Like, you're just, I'm telling it.

And I remember thinking. Tonight. I just remember thinking, I'm not thinking. You're just so hot. And I'm so high. And this would be the greatest thing I could ever think of. I'm going. So then, where the greatest thing I could ever think of, I'm going. So then where was I?

What was that for? You were just walking out with a trans chick. Yeah, so I walked out with her. So then later on in life, in skateboarding, when those dudes came to America, they decided to not be my friend anymore because at the time they were my friends. Oh, so they saw you walk out and that was the end of your relationship with them? No, no. We were friends after that. Oh, so they saw you walk out and that was the end of your relationship with them. No, no. We were friends after that.

Oh, you were. But then when he switched on me in America, he decided to not like me anymore. When he became really good, he started telling everybody about this encounter that I'd had, which then it was just you're an F-bomb. That's – Ellis is a fag. He hooked up with a tranny. That's – at the time. That's what they were saying. So I deny it, obviously.

And everybody else is like, I know, right? Like as if Alice would. Because Alice is, I got all the girls. Like I got the accent. I mean, maybe I'm not the best skateboarder. Guys. But I got the fucking, I can talk in a minute. And I'm a wild guy.

So if it's a contest, I'm getting whoever is like the local hot chick, get the fuck out of the way like all you other dudes that are better than me. You don't have the extra game that I have. So no one ever thought that if you have a lot of game with girls that you would ever go the other way. So it was almost like, you know, all this shit is all bullshit. The tattoo fucking crazy guy. I'm just like trying to hide from the fact that I'll suck a dick.

It's like how tough, you know what I mean? Like tough guys don't, you know what I mean? Penis, fucking kick your ass. It's like it's all facade, man. I'm terrified and ready to blow. Okay, so let me go back to this for a second. It's all facade, man. I'm terrified and ready to blow. Okay, so let me go back to this for a second. In the professional skate community, were there other guys that were gay or bi-curious? The first person that ever – yeah, good question.

First person to ever come out, Bryan Anderson. Okay. And Bryan Anderson was a really famous, really good street skater who was on a really popular skateboard company, Girl Skateboards. And everybody just accepted it. And I was like, oh, wait, you can not. I know what this is. He's really famous and really popular in skateboarding, and I'm in vert skateboardinging the jock part of skateboarding

that's in carlsbad so is that uh is that like in the comedy world is he in the alt scene like he's doing this yeah okay they're just more open-minded yeah and i also believe if you're super popular it's not it's not i mean if you're just in the middle you can i really feel like it's not, it's not, I mean, if you're just in the middle, you can, I really feel like it's maybe the town that I was in. Cause it was very, like a lot of people said when they'd heard it, Hey man, I heard you're a fag,

but obviously I know you're not a fag, but if you were a fag, we wouldn't be cool. You know that. And I'm like, they would tell you that we wouldn't be cool. My, one of my dearest friends,

one of the, one of the greatest skateboarders, I'm not going to say his name. Cause he's still cut up about it. I'm trying to get him on my show to confess it all because people have accused him for being a bit of a homophobe. And he was back in the day. But I think he's an older man now that kind of regrets it.

Sure. Well, that's good, though. That means he grew. I told him that story. He's like, I don't remember that. And I'm like, it's funny how. Nothing to you and it scarred me. Fucking.

Forever. I remember thinking, we're never real friends ever again. And you don't even know that we're not real friends ever again. You know? That's the thing you don't realize about all those little actions that people do day to day that cut those kind of people up. Terrifies them. Gets them to do heroin with prostitutes. Yeah, tell me about heroin with prostitutes.

So the heroin dies. Then these guys are talking about me being gay in America and people are questioning it and he's trying to fight me. And you're in the closet. You're hiding it the whole time. Fuck yeah, dude. Fuck yeah. I'm not telling anybody.

The only person I told was a guy that- That you sucked? Yeah. Who else are you going to tell? The guy that I used to- We'd fuck each other and his wife. No, really? It started with the wife.

I'll do this. I'm not going to say names. It doesn't matter. It started with the wife. At first, it was like, do you to say names. It doesn't matter. It started with the wife. At first it was like, do you want to fuck my wife? And I was like, yeah. And then it was like. What circle do you run in that you get asked that more than once?

I've been asked once. When I had hair, I was pretty attractive. I know it's all fucked up now, but I used to be strikingly handsome. I feel like I would be. And then the accent in America, maybe it's died off a little bit now and i've lost my accent but it used to be blatant you know i used to be hot i remember it because i know i'm not now i don't walk into a room and chicks go oh shit they go oh my god you know what the fuck happened which is cool.

Everybody has their run. Fuck, man. It's okay. Everybody's got their run. You know the other part, though? Like, if there's, like, certain kinds of chicks that still think I'm hot, and nine times out of ten, those girls fuck, like, real, proper. So I don't even have – I don't get mismatches anymore if you're into me that's

what's gonna work it's gonna work out right yeah i usually like you know you know what you like at this point not you them yeah i don't i find we find each other it's like from across the room hey i'm tweaked hey me too you want to fuck my wife okay yeah so that one worked into a couple years down the road doing some e-bombers, and it was like, can we just jerk you off? And I was like, all right. I mean, I've already had like three other. So wait, you first fucked his wife by yourself, not a threesome? Not with him.

Oh, a threesome. Okay. Yeah. He wasn't watching first. No, he'd be in on the action. Okay. He'd be in on the action. And then like sometimes he'd pull it out and put like sometimes getting a little like sometimes

he'd pull it out and put it and I'm like whoa fucking steering my dick like dang

you know what I mean like that was a power move power move I was like power steering bro yeah and then I'm like

I don't even know if that was that necessary but he's placing your dick in his wife yeah and then I'm like, I don't even know if that was that necessary. He's placing your dick in his wife. Yeah. God damn. And then he would film it a lot. So this is out there of you? For him, sure, yeah.

Do you think he still watches it and jerks off to that shit? I don't want to answer that. He probably definitely does. Probably not. Probably not. Probably not. But anyway. Where's my VHSC cassette?

That's why I feel like I'm so safe from talking about it all the time. Like, you can't blackmail me. Hey, man, I got a video of you fucking me. I'm like, go ahead, post it. I don't care. Oh, shit. Yeah, might be a worse look for him than me. But anyway, where did that go from?

So then that ends up being where we both agree that we're bi in the middle of doing that. And obviously his wife already knew, so it was no big thing. So then after that that it was kind of then you just shifted just you and him no no i mean yeah there was a couple times where in the end it was me and him he ended up getting divorced and stuff so he him and i have had a long line of everybody we date we both had sex with at one point he had sex with one of my the wife that used to punch me in the face he fucked her behind my back nah yeah while you were married yeah and then when we got divorced because he used to say he's like you mean you should try and ask her if she wants a threesome

and i was like dude trust me she is not the chick that's gonna do it she's not gonna fuck you and he'd already fucked her so he tells me like five years later after i get divorced he's like yeah man i mean it was crazy but i did fuck your wife and i was like what really and he's like yeah i know he's in it he was like you know what let me make it up to you let me give you some money and i was like you know i didn't have any money i was like really like what kind of money i think he gave me like 10 grand or something. Holy shit. Yeah. And I was like, fuck, where's the weight? Your ex must have fucking brought her a game, man.

She was really hot. 10,000 for one fuck? He probably fucked her a couple of times if I know him. All right. 5,000 is still a lot, too, bro. Hey, more power to them. I really don't feel bad. More power to you.

You got $10,000 and walked away from that shit. I made the wolf knives with it. I made a skateboard company that's still the wolf knives. Hold on. Oh, shit. You funded a company with the money you got from a guy who fucked your wife behind your back. Listen, that's tight. That's called doubling down and investing in yourself.

Turn it around and flip it upside down, baby. WolfknifeStore.com You motherfucking entrepreneur. Get on down there and grab yourself a t-shirt. Oh my god, dude. Oh, man. All right. You were heading toward... Okay okay so so the heroin yeah so the gay bashing got

like i got i got i couldn't do it dude i couldn't go to contests anymore it was just because they were bashing you or just the the culture itself was just no he was like well they would they'd be like there was a group of people that were like 100% sure that he was right. So I lost friends. I see. So then I had this awkward thing that was probably a bigger deal to me than everybody else. But I was at the ramp thinking maybe 20% of the people here are not cool with me anymore because they think I had sex with a trans person. And I was like, man, I can't live like this.

And he was always barking at me at every contest. I'm like like you guys just no one would say anything it's fucking what's up can't fucking suck and i'm like fuck off dude it's like we want to fucking go and i'm like no i don't want to go i'm terrified of fighting that was and he knew it you know that's the then when you know i left that's another reason why i got into fighting because i was like that's's not going to happen to me anymore. Like you're not going to – if you want to go, we'll fucking go because I was done with that. So that's really – that's what drove you into fighting.

A lot of it. I mean also my childhood. I mean I always wanted to be able to protect myself and I just thought I could until I faced really tough psychopathic people. And I was like, you're crazier than me. And I'm fucking scared of that. Isn't that fucking, that's a shock when you meet somebody, you're like, I don't know, you're fucking, you're crazy. So then I had to like rise to it because if you're crazy, you're not going to get me anymore.

Like I'll, which is, which is terrible because now all I do is work on not being that person. Like you cut me off. You say some shit. Like, I'm just there. I'm ready. Like, in three seconds, I can be like, we can fucking sort it out right now, cunt, if you want to go. And I'm like, dude, stop being that person. Like, whoever that person is, cut him out. He's no good ever.

Even when you win. Because I'm still a nice person. So when I do that guy and then I do beat you up i know i'm a piece of shit more than anybody so i'm i just don't want to ever get in that ever again i just walk away i that's smart i mean because you could kill somebody you could everybody could kill somebody yeah luckily but you could fucking strike somebody you there's a strategy yeah you could throat punch somebody quick. Yeah.

I'll never forget one time. I'm going to tell you this just made me laugh. There's two things. I love how this is funny. This is, so we're at a house party back in the day

when I played community college, all Juco. We went to a house party and a bunch of the cool guys on the team would, you know, about eight to ten of us

would roll deep and we'd go to these parties and shit. And we're at this one guy. He's on the team. So everybody's learning about eight to ten of us would roll deep, and we'd go to these parties and shit. And we're at this one guy. He's on the team, so everybody's learning everyone's neighborhood, you know what I mean? Come on, we're going to do a party in our neighborhood tonight because community college, you commute, you know? Yeah. So we're at this one guy's, his people's, you know, his friends from high school or whatever because we're just out of high school.

And there's this guy drunk, and he's talking shit, and this dude's name was howie and he did not fuck around he just did not fuck he was baltimore city like just that resting bitch face for a dude too you know what i mean just always nicest fucking guy though and this dude's talking shit to this girl over here and he's in her fucking face and how he just walks up and i mean he don't even know these but we're just and he just fucking punches the dude right in the goddamn throat at that time and he's this guy's going and i think he fucking crushed that dude's fucking throat and we're like what the fuck he's like don't fucking ever talk to her like that again you hear me and i was like holy shit that's scary that's the kind of shit well we get

punched in the neck man adam's apple surgery yeah probably could you imagine that no i don't even like when my teeth hurt i've been in a ton of fights but i don't not anymore i will only fight now like if i have to fight i will fight you know but i'm not. I hear you. I was that too. Like, what the fuck? Right away to yell and be so angry. Yeah, but it sounds like you had that when you were at an age that made more sense. I still have. It never goes away. Right.

You just have a better grip on it. I love how you say I try. Because I'd be lying if I didn't say the same thing. If I'm like, no, pretty much got it under control. You could pay somebody to say something when I leave today where I'll punch him. Yeah, I do. There's a certain line where I'd be like, what? Okay, well then go.

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store and trust pilot. All right, get started at goenry.com and get one free month with the promo code HONEYDOO. That's one free month at GoHenry.com, promo code HONEYDOO. All right? Now, let's get back to the do. Look, I'm big on principle, but also, yeah, no, I'm not perfect. No, I fucking yell. I snap. I'll tell you what, I don't yell at my kid you know my daughter she's like dad you never yell and i'm like not to you but

you know i i certainly have my anger issues but i believe like i try working more and more because i don't ever want to lose that edge either i think losing that edge all the way could be detrimental to us yeah because in a backward, fucked-up way, it is what has made us who we are. This chip on my shoulder, it's never going to be filled in. There's nothing that's going to fill that chip in, and I don't want it to, to be honest. I want to make those moments that I do that less and less throughout my life.

Like, hell, I only did that shit three times this year. You know what I mean? Or two times. Not this week week this month um so i don't want that edge to go because as much as it's hurt me at times it's also helped me get all the way right here to sit and talk to you and i feel like the same thing for you too like there's just this metal that you've built that that it shouldn't go away it's an armor that i don't think you're ever going to be able to take it off yeah no i definitely don't think it ever goes away for sure but that is an interesting and better way to look at it that it's not always fucking my life over it's probably giving me a lot

of drive we're alive because of it right we're alive like the whole serious thing like that falling out i didn't have time to bitch about it i was like we need to we need to get it going i'm still like my hey downloads everybody but and but i'm not man you know i mean no one's having me on the i'm like no that's i don't have time for that like let's just go get shit done i believe i say this a lot my favorite one of my favorite sayings is i come in peace ready for war. Nice. Don't ever get rid of that edge, but come here. But if you want to go, we'll go. We'll go. You know what I mean?

All right. You want to go? We'll go. The casual will go. That's the most dangerous one. It is. Yeah, we'll go. And I'm not a talker.

It's really not that big of a deal for me. I'm not a talker. I'm just going to come in and throw that punch, whether I hit you or not, because I know I'm out of shape. You see, that's my cardio. You better win quick, right? shape you see that's my cardio my cardio is an issue i know everybody could say that every time i do the ellis mania that's kind of like when people that don't fight that haven't had a fight in their life it's not so much you could be fit you could train for a fight but if you've never had one and it's an organized fight everybody holds their breath and punches for the fucking – it's over in 35 seconds.

They've just gone – Yeah. And then they go – and then the other guy's like – and it's just like what you watch two people with so much fear and so much little oxygen in their lungs trying to understand which one they should pick first. It's one of my – My favorite thing is the double

hand on your knees. As soon as you see that. It goes from the waist first to the... When the other guy's so tired when he sees that, he partakes. That's happened at Alice Mania a few times where both guys are just like... Mike, you guys are awesome.

Giving it their all. I'm doing that again. Are you really? Yeah, this year we're going to try and do it in Vegas again. Promote it. Well, I don't have the date. All right, well, when you do, come back and promote it. It's supposed to be the Virgin Hotel that was the Hard Rock.

Oh, okay. That's the Virgin now? Yeah. Is that like Virgin Airlines, Virgin, that company? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right, so back to heroin. Yeah, so I guess I moved back to Australia because kind of my tail between my legs.

I mean, my Australian wife, we moved back to Australia. I think I still was getting paid by some companies in America. Back then, you kind of still had to be in contests, and I was not doing that. So I kind of figured I was being retired, and I had to accept it because I felt like going to contests was such a nightmare with this guy that it was no longer fun for me. So I didn't really add it up pretty easy. If it's going to be just a giant anxiety attack the whole time, then I'm not going to go.

So I go back to Australia, and then I don't have any time. Everybody there has a job, all my friends. So I'm just hanging out all day. So I get drunk. Whenever I get drunk, then I try to get ecstasy or some fucking meth or some coke, didn't matter. But then I figured out that there's a place in st kilda where all the prostitutes the the one like the junkie ones so it's 50 bucks to get a blowjob or bang them or whatever okay so i would drink enough to where that switch would go on where i'm like right now it's time to go there and i would go there and then i noticed that they were addicted to heroin and i was like this heroin do you have any and one of them was like yeah and i was like let me buy some off here and and she's like okay

weirdo so then i bought some so then my new routine was get drunk go to the prostitute thing get some heroin and get a blow job. Would you fuck them? Nah. I wanted to ask you if they would make you wear protection. Sometimes. I've got a blowjob from a hooker in the bushes in St. Kilda where I had a rubber on and I could feel the heat. And I was like, this rubber might not do. I might need two to deflect the amount of sexually transmitted diseases

that are in her mouth. Oh, my God. It was burning. I'm like, she diseases that are in her mouth. Oh, my God. It was burning. I'm like, she got thrush in her mouth. It was that hot. Fuck. Streets are tough, dude, when you're doing heroin. You've got to suck off everybody.

I don't think any- I feel like I was probably one of their better clients, you know? You'd be a peeler. I had a nice dick and stuff, at least. I don't know. So then I go to this parking lot where I get the foil and chase the dragon. And this time, not like the first time, this time I figure out how to get real high on it to the point where I start vomiting, which is so gnarly. You vomit and then you say to yourself yourself that was one of the best times

i've ever had me sitting in a parking lot by myself vomiting and i'm like i can't wait to get back to that feeling because i hated my situation so much i've been running from so many things that there was no more room left i just had to face that i'm a runner you know like you fucking chickened out of this whole thing. So then I really just didn't fucking care. And I remember just making the decision next time I see the prostitutes, I'm going to ask them if they can shoot me up. So I went there and I got two girls, you know, cause I still was getting paid from being a skateboarder. So I still had money. So, you know, and money didn't mean, I didn't understand it. You know, I I still was getting paid from being a skateboarder. So I still had money. So, you know, and money didn't mean I didn't understand it.

You know, I was just like, yeah, fucking, you know, have the money. And, yeah, get me some heroin and shoot me up. And they're like, really? I'm like, yeah, because I don't know how to do it, so hook me up. And so I'm having sex with one of them. You did have sex with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you wear a condom for that?

I can't remember. God damn. I think they make, I don't remember. Where are you having, where are you in? Okay, so they took me to this house that was a lot, it was the, all the curtains are rooms. So the walls are just curtains. Like massage parlors type shit. Yeah, so I don't even know, I'm so fucking high.

I don't even know how I got in there or where I am. So I'm banging one of them and then the other one like fucking taps the fucking thing. You can fuck on heroin? Well let me finish the story. I am fucking her and then that goes in and I'm gone. I'm out. You pass out? I don't

remember anything. I woke up in a park, freezing cold shaking. So I'm unconscious for a long period of time. People had to carry me somewhere and dump me. So they robbed me, took me of everything I had. And then they left me in this park where I know it to be a park where you can't be in there late at night. You get killed. Like it's just the sketchiest part of Melbourne.

The end. So I wake up and I don't even realize, years later I realized that I probably almost, I might have OD'd or I definitely was in a lot of trouble and nobody was going to help me. I was going to die in that park. But at the time I remember thinking, okay, that was not fun. All the other heroin that I was doing, pretty cool. That one was real bad and I never did it again,

never had any interest in it again. Walked away from it there. Yeah. All right. So I moved on from that, and it was still ecstasy and cocaine. All right. There's something you said you wanted to talk about. You said scarification.

Oh, yeah. So what is that? Man, this is an accident. So I'm friends with, like, my wife is friends with a bunch of porn stuff. I'm their friends too. But, you know, some of them got a crazy life, and one of them, my friend has a split tongue. She cut her tongue.

So she's into crazy stuff. So her best friend is a guy that does scarification. One time I went over to their house. It's when they cut a picture into your skin by using a scalpel and they cut and peel your skin off. Wait, what? So I don't really know what's happening. So I've got a podcast, the Jason L Show, by myself

while I had the serious show. And it was more about me just being drunk and talking to porn stars. So they go, what about doing scarification? I go, yeah, I'll do scarification. And he's like, yeah, well, bring him over, and he can do it while you're doing the show. I'm like, yeah, okay, sounds like a good idea. I didn't think about it.

I didn't look it up. I'd already been to her house to watch another girl have one of her pussy flaps cut off. First of all, you call it a pussy flap. It's not a pussy flap. What is it? A lip. Maybe a lip. Is it a labia?

It's not even a labia. Yeah, it's a labia. Is it a labia? Yeah, but. Well, she had a crooked bat wing. What do you mean cut off? A what? A crooked bat wing.

They cut it. You saw that? Dude, she said, I said, can I'm still. She had a crooked bat wing. What do you mean cut off? A what? A crooked bat wing. They cut it. You saw that? Dude, she said, I said, can I get, she was like, yeah, come up here. The life you have lived. The pussy was right here, and I was like, oh, because he gets, he like holds it and goes. And straightened it out for her, like made it look nice. Yeah, she cut it. He cut both sides to make them even.

Oh, my God. And then so I was like, yeah, that guy's crazy. He's the guy that does like doctor stuff, but he's just like a tattooist. That's wild. But he came over and then they're like, yeah, we're going to cut the thing. And I'm like, and he gets the scalpel and comes towards my leg. And I'm like, whoa, you ain't going to numb it or anything? He's like, oh, it doesn't work for the top of the skin because it's just the top of your flesh.

It won't even really feel it. And I'm like, okay. So when he starts cutting this fucking logo into my leg. So he takes a picture and lays it over just the same way like we do a temp tattoo first okay he drew it with a marker right and then he went through the marker with a with a scalpel got it just saw a tattoo but instead of the needle gun it's a scalpel he's putting in yeah but it doesn't tattoos do hurt more than a scalpel cutting your own flesh off yeah i wouldn't think so. No, but it makes you feel sick. What do you mean? I didn't know that he was going to run a scalpel down my – it occurred to me how this really works,

and then all of a sudden he's running this scalpel down there, and then when he gets enough on, he starts – he peels it and then starts cutting under it. And I'm like, I'm like, oh, I don't know. There's blood everywhere. I'm like, I feel like I'm going to pass out. And he's like, really? You're okay? And I'm like, I might need a second here.

But there was no pain. It was just gross. It was like the grossest feeling ever. I found out that day. It's on my shin. You got a Red Dragon logo. Oh, yeah. It's starting to like go away.

So how long ago did you get it? How long does it take to heal? Like three years ago. And it's start. Oh, you mean it's starting to go away. Yeah. Got you. Got you.

Yeah, but it's a very painful thing as in just your mind watching it. I don't really like getting my blood taken out. See, I don't mind any of that stuff. Do you watch it? Yeah, all the time. I'll tell you what made me sick one time. I had like a cyst. I had a cyst in my balls, and I had to go for an ultrasound on it.

You can't pop that like a pimple, can you? No, you just leave it. You just leave it. Wait, do you have like a third ball? No, it's a tiny little thing. It's not a full bowl. You have a small third bowl? I got like a little junior varsity guy, a little company hanging on.

Nice. Like what are those little monkeys that go on the backs of alligators and shit? Right. What are those, that fish that like lives off the back of a shark? Yeah, that's the one I'm talking about. Right. But I had to go get an ultrasound. Yeah.

And they do this whole – like they treat your dick very professionally. Yeah. Of course, they towels and they fluff it up and put shit up under your balls. Wait, they fluff your dick up? They set it on the towel. Oh, okay. They set you there and then they pop up your balls and then they squirt the solution on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Put the gel on. Yeah, and then she's doing the wand. Nice. And it doesn't feel bad. It feels good. know it feels good i'm like yeah play them out because i like my balls played with i don't know anybody that doesn't like their balls being played i exceptionally like it and oh really yeah and um tweaker i go hey what do you uh what are you seeing over there and she goes oh let me show you and she turns the monitor and i see the 3d imaging of my ball i go is that my testicle she goes yeah and immediately i was like all the sudden seeing it seeing it roll made my stomach just like oh it was disgusting

i couldn't take and then she was like i want you to push down like you're uh relieving your bowels and when i would this little red area would pop up where the cyst was she goes there it is that's how I see it and I'm like oh turn that fucking screen I couldn't take that shit man I got a vasectomy and I went live on Instagram for it so I'm talking or whatever and they're

cutting me open and the nurse goes oh wow you've got unusually thick balls and I'm like hell yeah this is live on instagram like fucking mission accomplished i'm fucking studding out over here live on instagram and then and then all of a sudden because i've got unusually thick balls he's got a problem with trying to pull this fucking cord in my nuts so he's all of a sudden he's like oh man man this is really difficult and then pulls on something and i feel like a crazy now dude like a horse kick to the testes

all of a sudden i'm like it's like oh and i'm like and i'm holding the phone i'm like holding the phone oh yeah i was like oh shit because every time I feel like I'm going to faint, I do a – I fight it. A couple of times. One time I dislocated my knee and then I went on vacation and I had a knee brace to go on vacation because he broke it sideways. So I had like a proper motocross knee brace on the whole time in Mexico and then I was getting a blow job naked with no knee brace on. And then room service came and I was like, oh,

and I was on the balcony and I went to get up to get it. And my foot slipped and my knee went out again. Oh, shit. And she goes to get the food because she just sees me go down grabbing the leg. And I'm just on the balcony going, stay conscious, stay conscious, stay conscious. Works almost every time. I never fainted. Oh, shit.

I had a doctor, my doctor. He's still my doctor. Dr. Starr, what's up, Dr. Starr? I lost my doctor, man. He was Tom Segura's doctor. Oh, really? Yeah, he left. If Tom's more powerful than me.

Oh, he's moving to Austin too. I wonder if that – he probably went there, right? Fucking sticking his finger up everyone's ass in Texas. Son of a bitch. Man, everybody left. My doctor told me one time he was giving me his name. He goes, you have an unusually pronounced divider. I go, what are you talking about?

Like the line in between my balls? He goes, yeah. No. The line – like on your ball bag bag there's a line that goes on your balls yeah yeah never heard that ever dude where god sewed you up come on man praise god is that good is that bad he goes i'm just saying it's you know you gotta pronounce yeah i don't even know why he's saying that. I'm like, that's a weird... That's what I tell him. We talk like that. That's a weird fucking thing to say to somebody.

You got a fucking ugly head, you know what I mean? It's not wrong. It's just, you know, I can actually see your line. I don't see the line a lot of times on guys' balls. I'm like, I don't give a fuck about other guys' balls. Weird. In a medical fucking thing. A lot of back and forth on the balls. He's the best doctor, though. Okay.

One day I go in, and I've had him for like 20 years, and he doesn't bullshit or anything. And we were doing a physical. I go, aren't you going to check my balls? He goes, do you want me to check your balls? I'm like, well, no, if you don't need to check them. He's like, I can tell you don't have a hernia. I'm like, oh, okay. Leave my balls.

Dude, I need a new doctor. I got hemorrhoids right now that are freaking me out. It's like fucking hands coming out of my ass. I'm in hell over here, dude. Hands? I'm sitting on one cheek this whole show. Hey, we're going to wrap this up. I'm fucking cutting angles right now just to survive.

What's happening back there, dude? Well, I got hemorrhoids and then I keep doing stuff in my butt, so I've got to stop doing butt stuff. Yeah, you've got to stop doing butt stuff. But also when they flare up, you're not supposed to work out, and I just work out all the time. So it got to the point where now I can't work out for a couple of days because it's just stinging.

And you can't see a butt doctor for like two months. Are they backed up? Yeah, they're like, go to urgent care. I'm not going to urgent care to show my dick. One time I went to urgent care to show a lady my ass, and she was like, whoa, you got to see. She didn't even touch it. She went, whoa.

It's hurting, dude. The same place, same lady. One time I go there because I'm getting STDs, and I'm like, I think I got a fucking chlamydia. And she's like, oh, yeah? How do you know that? I'm like, because I've had it a couple of times. And I pull my pants down and show her my dick.

And she's like, how do you? Because I've got a Ronnie rollback. I'm uncut. And she's like, how do you? And I'm like, how do you get a fucking dick? How do I get my head out of this thing? How do you get a human dick out? How do you get the knob out?

How do you get a dick out? Like, how do you pull the jacket down? Same way everything fucking comes. Like, how do you get the knob out? How do you get a dick out? Like, how do you pull the jacket down? Same way everything fucking comes. Like, how do you put socks on, fuckface? You know? You're a fucking professional. Pull my fucking dick back. She made me do it.

Oh, I got one of these. Shirley! Come on back here. We got one. I got a specialist comes in, just sleeves it down for you. It's not. How difficult of a concept is it to roll a dick back? I was hoping she'd be like, whoa, you got to go see a specialist.

I don't know what that is. She might be right. Oh, dude, you're the best, man. Thank you so much for coming on. Let's give your asshole a rest here for real. But before we do, again, promote everything, please. All of it. If there's anybody out there that's a professional and wants to see my anus

to give me some help, that would be cool, because the streets don't want to see it. So I do need help. Thank you, doctors. Because I know doctors, they love you, dude, for sure. My doctor does. Every time I'm in there, he's like, one of my best patients! He probably does that for everybody. I don't want your doctor to see my ass, because he might tell you how bad it is

he probably will tell me about it I had to send him to a specialist yeah everybody should check out the Jason Ellis show it's free you can just check it out if you don't like it okay fucking

fuck you what the fuck I thought it was pretty good myself but yeah check it out and then Wolf Knives store as I said you can

you'll be helping helping me make that money from the money that I got from my friend fuck and my ex-wife. Think about that when you go there. And then Hawk vs. Wolf, that's a free podcast. And then, of course, I have a Patreon just like Ryan over here because I copy his stuff. So the Jason L Show has a Patreon forward slash Ellis mate. And I think that's it.

I think that's all. I really just care about the Jason L Show podcast. I'm really trying to push it out there so that podcast people know that I'm here too. You know? Just trying to hang out with everybody. And I do want to also mention your Hulk versus Wolf that drops. Yeah. Okay, yeah.

The 24th.'s that's a big deal too all hopefully that helps the jason of course it will it all help everything helps it all feed in you're not as much as this dude that's flattering i love hearing that that's why i think i'm plugging the show more this time because the last time you're like plug the show i'm like yeah the jason i'll show check it out you were just getting started too weren't you we probably had like three episodes yeah you were just getting underway it too, weren't you? We probably had like three episodes. Yeah, you were just getting underway. It's hard as shit to get a show off the ground, too. We figured out apparently people don't want us to have guests on.

I'm like, hell yeah. Do you know how hard it is to get people in there, especially in a pandemic? Even when it's not, the hardest part of podcasting is getting two or three people to sit down in a room for an hour on the same goddamn day. It's such a pain in the dick. How did everybody get so busy? Right? Like, I know you're all taking shits and stuff, but you got time.

Thank you for coming on. Anytime, dude. Anytime at all. Anytime you want, you are welcome. I know we're not done with you. As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week.