The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Jesus Trejo - Naw Fool

Episode Date: June 21, 2021

My HoneyDew this week is Jesus Trejo! Jesus Highlights the Lowlights of being knocked out by a grown man when he was a kid and a mistake at work that almost cost him his life! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew SPONSORS: EXPRESS VPN Secure your online activity by visiting EXPRESSVPN.COM/HONEYDEW TODAY! Thats EXPRESSVPN.COM/HONEYDEW and you can get an extra three months FREE! STAMPS.COM Stop wasting time going to the post office and go to STAMPS.COM instead. There’s no risk and with my promo code, HONEYDEW, you get a special offer that includes a 4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to STAMPS.COM click on the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and type in HONEYDEW.

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baltimore hub primary one joe avenue all right y'all know what we do over here we highlight the low lights these are the stories behind the storytellers this week's guest man one of a crab feast favorite no doubt first time here on the do ladies and gentlemen please welcome jesus trail y'all welcome to the honeydew hey what's up baby we're here man so excited to have you on dude thank you for having me this is great i love the space and it's great to see you i haven't seen you in so long it's been a minute dude yes thank you um look i know we're gonna have some fun today so before we dive into your It's great to see you. I haven't seen you in so long. It's been a minute, dude. Yes. Thank you. Look, I know we're going to have some fun today. So before we dive into your stories, plug, promote everything you'd like, please.

Just go to the website, JesusTrejo.com. There's some upcoming shows. They're going to be posted there pretty soon. Check out Tacos Con Todo on First We Feast. We got some episodes up there. And, yeah, just social media, the Twitter, at Jesus Trejo, and then Instagram, at Jesus Trejo, number one. That's it, really. That's great, dude.

I'm so glad to have you here. Thank you for having me. If you haven't heard Jesus' Crab Feast episode, it's absolutely something you should go listen to. And there is a uh that's in there because it's it is a honeydew story no doubt i want to i i don't i want you to retell okay the story of your karate class yeah man i uh how old were you i was in high school okay i was in high school you know young kid and you know it's like i i've always been enamored with you know wrestling and mma and you know and you're MMA and, you know.

And you're tall now. How big are you now? I'm six foot three. I was this height in high school. You know, they stopped making Mexicans this big in 86. You know. Yeah. And so there was like a Muay Thai gym, kickboxing gym in Long Beach, right?

I grew up on the east side of Long Beach, and I wanted to go there. And, you know, my parents didn't have that kind of money to put me in a class or a school like that. But, man, did I want to go there. And eventually it happened. And I went there in real deal, man, real deal dudes in there just kicking the bag. I mean, it was just like all-around badass. And the master of this gym, Master Omri. Omri.

Five foot flat, but just a total badass. Well-respected in the community, but just was an all-around badass, and he was so kind. So I signed up for classes, and I'm in there after school. And why are you in there? school. I go in there. And why are you in there? Because you're being bullied? Or is it like something your parents want you just to get the hell out? Why are you in there?

I kind of want to go because I would get bullied a lot. You know what I mean? So it's like good exercise and also got to meet people there. I was like watching like the real deal guys like kick the bag. So I was like doing that. But also guys like kick the bag so i was like doing that but also i'm like if i can just learn to defend myself a little bit so let me ask you what are you defending yourself from were you like the big kid that everyone wanted to pick on so they could prove themselves and and you weren't strong and shit and you're like shit i need to

no i cry easy yeah i mean that's my superpower. I'm emotional too. Yeah, man. And just thinking about it, I don't know if you guys can hear it in my voice. It's like cracking. It's like it feels like my high school bullies are just outside this door right now. But I used to get picked on a lot, and it was because I was a big kid. So people are like, oh, he can fight. No, I just eat a lot. That's it.

And just goofy kid. But I would get picked on. I got jumped. I got guns pulled on me. Like all kinds of stuff. And all because you're this size at a young age. An easy target. You stand out. People want to pick on the big guy.

It's Long Beach. There's people in a very different path than I was in life. And it is what it is. It's an environment. You know, I always say this is like, I, like, I, like, I know they're not a bad person. Like, like when I got guns pulled on me, I know they're not bad people. It was just a bad choice, you know? And, you know, from getting robbed in a laundromat is like, you know, we're in a laundromat and I got a gun pulled on me and I still didn't think the person was bad.

It's just a bad choice. It's like I was just glad I was glad they thought I had money. It's like, thank you so much, man. Like, so I've always had this like positive, goofy outlook on life. And I don't know, just trouble finds you when you're, you know, a young kid growing up in Long Beach. But so I'm at this gym. I'm like, this is going to help with my confidence and all kinds of stuff. So I'm in there training.

That was no good, man. I would spar. And man, there was this dude in there, construction worker, cat, long hair. And I went in the ring to spar. Now, we have like the pads that we're supposed to wear but if you're gonna spar at 25 50 no big deal you know it's like i can see the kick coming you block that kind of thing it's you you you choreograph you know a set but this dude like right away man he just this is a grown dude he was probably like in his 30s. I'm what, like 16, 17.

So he's like, just like, wham! Like, oh! Like everyone's seen those, those Instagram videos where they're wearing like the body thing and professional boxers are taking just hits to the stomach.

Like, wham! Wham! And after like 50 hits, they're like, man, that hurts. Like the dude was wailing on me. Like I had that, but I wasn't.

I was just like, oh, you know, just... And yeah, we just kept going. I'm like, oh, this is part of the thing. And I remember one day, man, I'm in there sparring and a dude just roundhouse kicks me, just blam, just hits me.

In the face. In the face. I buckle up. I don't know. You're supposed to be going like 25%, 50%. He's in there. He got a brilliant idea and was like, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to surprise him.

You don't surprise people in a spar, especially with a kid. He's just in there for, I'm there for cardio, bro. You got an ex-wife. Yeah. You're trying to work out or some shit I'm there for cardio, bro. You got an ex-wife. Yeah. You're trying to work out or some shit. You got life experience, bro. I have none of that. I'm here because I think it's cool and fun.

You know what I mean? And man, he roundhouse kicks me. I buckle, man. And I remember everything just going dark and I would see like little colors, like little, like not fireworks, and i remember hearing lips so it's like in cartoons when people get knocked out like a cartoon character you see like the birds going around i could hear that and also i've seen cartoons where they have like the little colors i'm like whoever animated that you've been knocked out before yeah you know what it is because that's so true. I saw that. Maybe because I think in cartoons.

Who knows? But I get knocked out. I'm out. And I come back and Omri's there and the other fighters are there and they're like, are you all right, man? I can't talk. I can't talk. And I'm trying to talk and nothing. And Omri's upset.

He's yelling at the guy. He's like, hey, you hurt my students. They don't come back. And also, it's a kid. And I'm just like, I'm trying to talk. I'm trying to talk and I can't do it. And, you know, they're jumping on his case like the, I forget the main fighter's name.

He can't even talk. I'm trying to push words out. I mean, that is a blow, dude. Yeah, man. It's like I'm trying to push words out like the last bit of toothpaste in a tube where you're just like. You're like you're trying to like get the word from the stomach. You're a kid, too. And I can't get the word out, man.

Ouch. Couldn't get ouch out. Ouch. Couldn't get out. And I'm there with wrapped hands, shirtless, in a Muay Thai kickboxing shorts, and just a chubby kid, you know what I mean, with shorts. And I had my feet wrapped up. I was like, I looked apart, but it's like, hey, man. Could you sit up or were you just like, whew, just frozen?

I was noodles bro i was like trying to prop up a noodle just you know just like a newborn baby trying to hold them like they're holding me from the back of the neck kind of thing and it's just not good bro yeah it's like a newborn baby you know i was born again at that point i mean but so so now we're there and i could you know i can hear what's going on and they're arguing with the guy and then one of the like the main fighters was in his face he's like you want to fight somebody you fight me and he was like much shorter but this guy was not somebody you mess with i mean um and you know they're going back and forth now my dad's about to pick me up. I'm like, this is about to get real bad.

So I'm trying to get my voice back. So when my dad picks me up, he's like, let's go home. I'm never coming back again. And then I can make up whatever lie I needed to to justify me never going there again. And so my dad picks me up, and he's laying on the horn trying to get me to come out. And finally, he gets off. And my dad's a gardener. He worked construction during the day, mow lawns in the evening.

So it's late. He gets out of the work truck. And he's like, hey, come on, let's go. And then they tell him what happened. He's like, what? So he goes over there. And I can't talk. He's like, why can't he talk? Well, and then they're-

I remember you still couldn't talk when your dad showed up. You couldn't get it out. No, I couldn't get it out because then they parted the sea of fighters and people training at the gym. It was a small gym, you know. And then they're like, you know, he kicked him in the head. He's like, he did what? You know, kind of thing. And I was just like,

I couldn't talk. I mean, I was just like, so. How much time would you say has gone by now from you getting roundhouse to your dad showing up? A lifetime. I don't know what that is. They say time slows down in a black hole. That's what it felt like.

All I could hear is psst, psst. And I still got birds doing laps around my dome, you know. And so my dad's upset. My dad's upset. He's like, you know, leaves. And he goes to his work truck, and he takes out the rustiest machete you've ever seen. The rustiest of the rustiest. And he grabs it, and he's outside.

He's like, come outside. And he's sparking his damn machete on the ground. Oh, fuck. So you just hear, still can't talk i can't talk but like i'm up on my feet i remember being up on my feet just kind of like you know just kind of like no no no no chill out and you know omri's out there now and listen i've been in la long enough i've been been in California long enough. I know these little gyms. I know the little strip mall it's in. I can't imagine driving by and just looking over and seeing some dude in the parking lot just sparking a machete and being like,

I wonder what the fuck's going on in there, you know? And, man, he's sparking. He's like, come out here. My dad's five foot. I mean, little guy, heart of a lion, man. And he's ready to go. I mean, I don't have kids of my own, but I can only imagine where my dad was at that time. It's like, oh, we're going.

We're going to distance however this ends, right? So he's sparking the things coming out. So Omri's out there. Omri's a Cambodian man. My dad's a Mexican man. And they're trying to communicate with each other. And Omri's like, hey, man know this dude you know I'm I'm really sorry you know um you know kind of thing my dad is not hearing it and the guy's kind of like hey my bad we were just sparring

kind of thing and man did it get ugly um I ended up not going back I was just scared you know I was just scared and you know I remember some time some time went back right i went back some time went by and uh i'm out there mowing lawns with my dad and um and the dude pulls up and uh he's in you know he's in the in the in the truck or whatever he's like hey i'm like oh fuck you know there he is so you know i stopped to mourn i go over there my dad's in the back this is after he did this to you this is is after, and he's like, I'm sorry about what I did out there, you know, kind of thing. And I'm like, yeah. He's like, I shouldn't have gone that hard. He's like, I hope you know it was an accident.

I don't know how you roundhouse on accident. You know, you have to go out of your way to. I planted on my foot and did a 360 by accident. Yeah. That accidentally also hit you. I accidentally aimed at your face. Hey, man. I'm sorry I roundhoused you by accident.

By accident. That's absurd. Don't you start a roundhouse kick from out here? Yeah. I mean, you're putting everything. Yeah, the arms have to go first. So halfway through you can. It's a premeditated kick.

It's a premeditated kick. It's a premeditated kick. It's not just a kick to the gun or anything. Yeah. And it's like. Oh, my God. You could have changed your mind at this point, but you decided to turn your hips and have your foot follow. And then my dad was there. And, yeah, everything kind of pushed over.

But I was scared for a long time. I didn't want to go down that street because that led me to believe that he lived on that street and i was just scared man and you know just you know what little i learned there was enough to give me confidence but again it's like you know it's like martial arts is great but it's like to me it's like it only helps if you know you have the confidence to use it in a situation. And, you know, I was always too scared. I couldn't remember anything. But, yeah, man, that was life in Long Beach, man. I love that story.

It's a beautiful. I love who your dad is. I love the story. Yeah. I want to go back to some early years, too. You sent one in about second grade. Let's hear it. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Second grade. Your homework. Oh, my homework, man. This one was like a like a like a life-changing one man this was uh so so to give you a little uh to give you some context i don't know english i don't have command of the english language till about fifth grade right okay so you you grow up in a household that's just speak spanish yeah my parents are from mexico you know sinaloa you know my dad my mom's from alajara fifth grade, right? Okay, so you grow up in a household that just speaks Spanish. Yeah, my parents are from Mexico, you know, Sinaloa, you know, my dad, my mom's from Guadalajara. So the only English you're learning is from school and friends? TV, friends, you know, music,

you know, that kind of thing. So that's, you know, and I'm learning as I'm going, but I don't have full command of it. Now, I got changed. Like, I switched schools several times my second grade year. I don't remember exactly why, but I changed schools quite a bit. But I ended up at Bixby Elementary School in Long Beach, right? And I remember Mrs. Jones, you know, teacher, just adorable elderly woman who just had a passion for teaching, loved all the kids, you know, and I was just, I mean, I was a troublemaker kind of thing. And for a whole, almost a whole school year, I was given homework and I didn't turn it in. Not one. You didn't do it? I didn't do it. I didn't bother to do it. And tell your parents about it? Well, my parents don't know the language. They don't know how to read any

of this stuff. So it was just like, you have any homework? Yep, did it. All right. And also, I was working with my dad. So it was like, come help me. So my dad wasn't really asking. My mom was the one who was like, don't you have things to do, like things to write? I'm like, nope, did it already.

Did it on the bus. And I just would lie to my parents. So this is like a whole year. But what's happening throughout the year is you're not turning in these assignments. They're not contacting your parents or trying to call or anything. I answer the phone. I answer the phone. Wrong number, Mrs. Jones.

See you tomorrow. Oh, yeah. Okay, thank you. You know, me doing a little kid interpretation of an adult voice. Oh, okay. Thank you. But boy, you know, it wasn't working. They're trying to reach out to my parents. It's not happening. You know, my parents aren't dropping me off at school. I'm taking a school bus, so they don't see my parents. that I had. So I had like a little closet, right. With some toys. And I had like, you know, a big mess in there. So when my mom did, this is important to the story. So my mom went to top, to this grocery store, top value. Right. So she goes over there and ask for a cardboard boxes. So they give her some banana boxes. Right. And they got moved. Yeah. So they had the big hole in the middle. Right. So my mom got about four of those and I just would put like little books or, you know,

all my stuff was in a stack of four boxes and they had a hole in the middle. So I just would throw stuff on top and it just go to the bottom and it just kind of filled up. So what I did was in that closet, every assignment that I got, I grabbed it, I would crumble it up and I would stick it in there. I was too dumb to know, throw it in the trash, get rid of it before you go home. So I would stuff it. Now imagine, like, how long is the school year?

What, like 10 months? Nine months, yeah. So say for seven months, there's seven months worth of assignments in there, whether it was a packet, whether it was like whatever it was. Hey, your mom needs to sign this. It's going in the box. So it was just. Why?

Let me ask you, what made you do that? Did you not like the work? Did you not understand? I didn't understand it very well. Yeah. I mean, it's like I was a kid, you know, asking other kids, how do you spell the? I forgot, you know, and then they're like, T-H-E. OK, that's right.

I just trying to make sure because I was so embarrassed. I mean, it's like I'm having a hard time. I don't know how to read and write in Spanish. I don't know how to do it in English. My dad would say, he's like, you're going to end up mute. You don't speak Spanish or English. And so I'm trying to figure it out. I'm going to school, but I'm attending school.

I'm not doing any of the work. I can't understand it really. I'm doing the best I can. And you could tell that the only class you're doing that with are you doing work in all your other classes no this is like second grade so it's the whole day it's a whole day you know yeah so the whole day every class assignment that your science math it's all getting shoved in everything everything i for some reason i think think it's just like English. It could be like everything.

Drawings, you name it, like scholastic book catalogs, they're going in there, bro. They're going in there. It looked like a big shoe. If it went home, it was going in the boxes. It was going in the boxes, and it was just stuffed in there. So I did that for months, man, and I'm thinking everything is cool. Now cut to one day, me in class just chilling, and they always sat me in the front because, again, they're like,

man, you're way behind kind of thing. So they always sat me in the front, and I'm just chilling, drawing. I was always the kid who doodled a lot, so everything on my desk was just drawings and stuff. So I'm over there drawing, and I remember I could tell something was up. I don't know what's going on. And I just happened to look to the back. I remember this so vividly.

Chalkboard in front of me. I'm in the front of the class. There's rows about like 7 by 10 or whatever. It's like kind of a big classroom. And I just remember looking back to the door and I see my mom. Oh, shit. And I see an interpreter. Oh,

no. And Mrs. Jones is going, you know, she's making her way to the back of the thing. Now, what stuck out to me was that my mom was in tears. She was sobbing. I was like, that's not good you know what happened so you know if i break that down it's like in retrospect it's like my mom had to take

a bus two buses right to make her to make her way to to to bixby went to the school and i just kept thinking back through all the embarrassment that i put her having to go to the office not understanding an interpreter interpreter all kinds of stuff they had to eventually figure out how to contact her and tell her your son hasn't turned in any so she already knows what the fuck's up yeah or like at this point i don't know how it went then you fail as a failure as a parent not only am i I worried about my kid, but now I'm not doing a good job. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on.

And, you know, no family is perfect. I'll say that. You know, lots going on at home. So, you know, that's part of the reason I think I fell back. I also don't know the language. There's a lot of factors here, right? So I look back and I can tell my mom is, like, crying. I'm like, ooh. Like, it put it put this like fear in me right and i was just like i don't know what's happening

so mrs jones let me ask what did you were you worried maybe you were about to hear someone died you weren't that were you thinking school where you knew school right away or what no you didn't know i didn't know i just knew mom was crying you know, like I always say this, from a young age, I was always like a caregiver. You know what I mean? Like I was interpreting. I was stuff like this. So it's like I need to go over there and help Mom out was my instinct, but I knew something was wrong. So Mrs. Jones says, hey, can you come out here for a bit?

And, you know, second grade class, ooh. And I'm just like, you know, birds, everybody. Hi, ma. Mom, are you okay? Kind of thing.

And, um, so it was like, you know, interpreters here, mom's here, teachers here. And, um,

my mom has two top value plastic grocery bags. I say, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Repeat it. Thank you. Filled with uncrinkled sheets.

Nah. She fucking found the banana boxes, bro. She probably ironed them out. Bro, I just imagine she opened one box and it was like the snake coming out of the Pringle can. Just like. Two bags. Man.

Let's say thank you. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you i'll yeah i never forget the the thank you repeated layers i know exactly what you're talking and um i just saw two bags but my mom had like a canvas bag a bigger one nah seven months of work she had them all. She brought everything. She brought everything. No way. She uncrinkled every single piece. Oh, dude. And they were sorted out by that time.

So what she had in her hand were the assignments and everything else, I think, was like anything else. And it was a long briefing, I'm sure, before my mom even went to the classroom. They're like, oh, this is this. They're trying to tell her what the paperwork is. This is the first time they've seen her since I switched to the classroom they're like oh this is this they're trying to tell her what the paperwork is or this is the first time they've seen her since i you know switched to the school so it's it's bad it's really bad and my mom is like crying and she's like you know i don't know why he does this you know it's like i don't know why he lied to me like

so so so my dad's at work i mean you know we'll get to thating. So my dad's at work. I mean, you know, we'll get to that, you know, later. My dad's working. Yeah, because I know that's coming. At the time, there's no cell phone. So my dad's out in the field. There's no way of contacting him. He'll get here when he gets here.

And he's going to get the briefing at the door, and then he'll find me later kind of thing. So we're still at school. So now they're telling me, it's like, why haven't you done your assignments? It's like you were telling't you done your assignments? It's like you, you were telling, so you were telling your mom that you were doing them. You know, I don't know what I was telling the teacher to hold her over for seven months. I mean, but it wasn't good. So now they take me into another room and there's like the principal, there's like all kinds of faculty. I'm at the end of this long board meeting table,

just in there swinging my feet, you know, just hunched over, feeling bad because my mom is crying in front of all these teachers. It's like the embarrassment that I'm putting my mom through is like, fuck, man. And so they slide me the two stacks of just like these big column or big, what do you call it? Big row. Like with the dotted line in the middle so you know how to write the letter you're talking about. Margins? You mean? Not margins. Margins go this way.

You mean paper? Yeah, paper. Like writing paper. Yeah, with the lines that got the dotted line in the middle. I think it's called ruled. Ruled. There it is. So ruled paper for a second grader.

And it's all these papers and stuff. And Mrs. Jones says, this is what we're going to do. He's like, you're going to do every single one of these assignments. And I'm like, but it's a lot. He's like, I know, and we have stuff to do from now until the end of the year and you will be doing that as well. So every day you're supposed to turn in, you know, I have to chip away at this stack. And I was like, damn. I was like, I don't know what to do. And then they're like, well, we're supposed to turn in, you know, I have to chip away at this stack. And I was like, damn, I don't know what to do.

And then they're like, well, we're going to help you. There's going to be after school programs and, you know, that kind of thing. So they found the help that I needed, you know, to get these done. But it was very hard for me to go. So I would get dropped off at Edison Elementary School there in Long Beach, you know, Eastside Long Beach. So I would get dropped off there, get picked up in a school bus, and driven down to Bixby School. Now, they had a YMCA program, so they said,

after school you're going to go there. Sometimes I didn't want to go there because I got out so late that I don't want to walk home at night or make my mom come get me at night because it's like it's a whole other bag of problems. So I started doing my assignments my own way and it was like you know some of it was like addition it was like five plus five you know kind of thing and i just would write the last number on the bottom five you know i mean seven plus two two i'm like man i am i am blowing through these assignments i'm steven Hawking in this day.

Genius, you know. Division. If I knew it was this easy, I just would have done it. Yeah, I was just like. Seven plus two. Yeah, they're trying to teach me a lesson here. You know, hang tight, guys. You know, two times seven, seven.

You know, two times three, three. You know, so it was easy. I'm like, this is just they're trying to teach me a lesson kind of thing. So I go turn all this in and it was like another problem now they're like the interpreters calling you know you know my uh my place and they're like yeah your son is thinks this is a joke and they're like why he's like he's just writing whatever on the assignments he's not really doing them is he going to the, you know, Edison to get help? He's like, yeah.

So now they reach out to Edison. He's like, what is Jesus doing while he's there? Well, actually, he's playing a lot of chess over there, you know. He's like, I'm just playing chess. I'm just not doing what I'm supposed to, again, because I don't have the direction. And long story short, I had to do all those assignments. But it really, to this day, still messes with me to know that I put my mom through something like that.

But I would say it wasn't my fault, but it was my fault. I didn't take responsibility at that time to really ask for help or do those things. I was just, you know, the phrase fish out of water. I was exactly that, man. And, you know, i definitely never wanted to put my parents in that situation again which of course i did i was a kid you know and um but yeah man that one right there really sticks with you huh oh does your mom ever bring it up oh yeah she does huh yeah it's because like um you know even now like like i have like a little bin in my room and

i crumble up like i'm writing stuff or jokes, and I throw it in there. It's like, is that homework assignments? I'm like, oh, you're not letting it go, Mom. Yeah, so it stuck with her, too. Was she super proud at graduation and everything when you all got said and done? You know what's funny? I'm the first in my family to go to school period kind of thing. So I remember kindergarten being a big deal., like, kindergarten being a big deal.

Like, graduation, it was a big deal. It was, huh? Huge. They went all out for kindergarten. My dad brought out the good Wranglers. Yeah, man. He put on the Wrangler jeans. Yeah, the church Wranglers.

Oh, my goodness. Oh, yeah. Kindergarten? Yeah. Kinderg kindergarten and fifth grade by the time i got to fifth grade you know it's like and i and i graduated they're like you know it's and to me to like to show that improvement from second grade doing stuff like that to having command of the language and you know being able to participate a little more my grades were really terrible uh the big shift happened around middle school for me and you know my parents being able to participate a little more. My grades were really terrible.

The big shift happened around middle school for me. And, you know, my parents, again, there was a lot of crying that my mom did. It's like, why don't you do your work? Why don't you, like, pay attention in school? And I'm like, well, there's more to it than that, ma, you know, kind of thing. But, you know, eventually I did turn it around. So, yeah, my parents were very proud that I, you know, graduated, you I graduated school along the way and went to college and all that good stuff. You did?

Where'd you go? Cal State Dominguez. Okay. Yeah, man. And you got your degree? Yeah, business degree, marketing. So you went from you're the only person in your family to ever go to school, and you went all the way and got the extended degree.

Yeah, like my dad never went to school. Oh, my God, your mind would be so stoked. Yeah, my dad never went to school. You're so stoked. Yeah. My, you know, my, my dad never went to school. My mom had very little schooling. So it was like, you know, it was a big deal. It was a big deal for us to, you know, school, school was a big deal and I would have gone on further, but you know, then comedy, you know, comedy came around and it's what I wanted to get my PhD in kind of thing.

So that's awesome. I want to jump around to a story down here about the radio station. I'm dying to hear this. That's perfect because it's around college. College. I'm going to Cal State Dominguez Hills. See, I interned at a radio station in college, too. Did you intern or did you work there?

No, I interned. It was part of a radio program. So Cal State Dominguez Hills had a radio program that very little people signed up for. They had like an actual studio. You had the soundboard. And they had the actual system that most radio stations would use. You put the music in. Then you had your breaks.

And you're like, hey, welcome back. So I got to do that. And it was really cool. And one of the things I wanted to do, because at the time I'm already like I want to do comedy and I know that comedians you know oftentimes were on the radio and you know they got to be on air so I'm like this is something comedians do so I'm like I think I have to do that you know so that was the whole thing behind me taking that you know radio course and then they said you can work at a radio station uh and we'll give you college credit i said man you're speaking my language so i found a radio station i'm not going to say what radio

station it was and which actually is no longer around they've is it am or was it fm fm fm and uh so i go over there and you know i email back and forth and they say, Hey, come on down, you know, bring the paper. We'll sign you off for some credit. Um, so I'm like, I don't have the paperwork yet, but you know, this is something I have the syllabus, that kind of thing. They said, all right, well, once you will, you know, we'll get you familiar with everything. And so I go, I'm, I'm, I'm living the dream. I'm, I'm taking out the binders while the promotions I'm, you know, doing a printed out copy, news stories. Man, I'm on top of the world. You know what I mean?

It's like it feels good. And most of my time was spent in the other room answering phones. Hey, caller number one, caller number two. Hey, I want to hear, you know, such and such. All right, man. Hey, what's your name? What's your age? Where are you calling us from?

So we were, you know, getting all these statistics of of the people calling in and um and yeah i'm writing down song requests that never got played the songs usually were on rotation you know kind of thing and um so you know so i'm doing that i'm i'm really enjoying it man i'm like this this feels right um i'm getting along with the on-air DJs. I'm even staying longer than I should because now I'm helping the other DJ set out his stuff so they can have a few minutes to themselves. And I'm doing all the tedious stuff. So I'm back there. I'm answering the phones.

And I would talk to the people who would call in, right? And it would be a good conversation. So at the time, they were giving away like a family four-pack, a family four-pack to Disneyland, and people would light up, and they were like. Yeah, that's a lot of money. Yeah. So they would give you the thing, which I should say,

I'm going to stop there. Radio is a big part of my upbringing. My mom would listen to the radio all the time. My dad, when I would go work with him. What would she listen to? All Spanish stuff. Your dad too? Yeah, my dad too. Actually, when I... And that didn't help you learn it anymore?

Listening to music all day like that? Yeah, I could talk. I could talk Spanish. That was my first language. I just couldn't read it or write it kind of thing. And so when I filmed my hour special, Piolín, who's a big radio personality here in Los Angeles, came to the taping.

My dad, I mean, lost it. Did he? You see my dad fixing his hair? Fixing his hair. You should have said he was coming. You should have said he was coming. You should have said he was coming. I would have worn a better suit, you know. Would have got the good rag.

And my mom was like, yeah, yeah. My mom was like, what? So I had an assignment. So I remember Piolín pulls up. He was with his son. So he pulls up and he's in this truck. And he's like, hey, I'm going to go park. I'll be right over there. My dad goes over

there and the truck window's open and he sticks his hand and he's like, hey, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm like, dad, would you get over here? And he's just excited so he parked. And my parents were about to leave because this was now the second show that night. I did two

that night. So they already saw the first show. They're I did two that night. So they already saw the first show. They were about to leave. The Uber's waiting for us. And he's like, I didn't know he was going to come. I'm going to stick around for a little bit. I'm like, oh, you guys. So he comes over and they got to say hi.

And just my dad, it meant the world that Piolino and his son was there. And my parents ended up going you know, going home. But that's what radio means to us. My mom one time won a blender on a radio station and it was a big deal. It was a T-shirt, a blender and a key chain. And she called my cousin, who's my godfather, and was like, hey, can you give us a ride to Hollywood? Because we have to go to Hollywood to pick up this blender. It's like, sure.

And that was the first time I ever went to Hollywood. We were walking on Hollywood Boulevard. We're seeing the handprints by the theater. You know, it's like. Filled with human feces. Yeah, it was pretty gnarly. But they had, you know, cantinflas, you know, along with other Mexican, you know singers or actors that kind of

thing so it was a big deal we got the blender and so can i share can i tell you a rate look i've told this on the show before but i'm going to tell you this story because this is yeah please this is a radio story for you right so let's take a quick break and tell you about our first sponsor express vpn now going on the internet without a vpn is like i say it every week it's like going to the bathroom with the door open why are you doing that some of you do it don't do that don't do it it's not good for anybody it's not good for anybody all right internet service providers like comcast or verizon they know every single website that you visit and then isps can sell this information to ad companies and tech giants who then use your data to target you.

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and type in Honeydew. That's stamps.com, promo code Honeydew. Stamps.com. Never go to the post office again. Now, let's get back to the do. Back in the day, we drove this Volkswagen Beetle, right? We called it the Pants Pocket. It was originally red, but my parents got it painted blue for free because the phone book

was doing this advertising deal where if you got your car painted blue and you put their logo all over the car for, I don't know what it was, maybe a year, they then peel the stickers off at the end of the year of free advertising and boom, you got a free paint job, okay? That was the deal. So we get this red Beetle now painted blue, and it's got go by the book. Went back when they had the fingers, let your fingers do the walking. Yeah, so that's all over our fucking car, right?

And then they peeled the thing off. You could totally see the silhouette of the stickers, all that shit. It was just a shitty job. So we drive in this car, and my mom listens to country music back in the day. And the station's 93 WPOC, right? Well, they're doing this fucking competition where they're giving away. Now, remember, I'm older than you, so this is in the 80s. I'm probably 10, 11.

Okay. And we all play sports. I have two brothers. we all play sports. I have two brothers. We all play sports. We're all good. They're doing this competition. They're giving away a Dodge Chrysler Laser, brand new car.

Okay. 93 people. I don't know what you had to do, call in or whatever. Well, my mother is one of the 93, and she has an opportunity to win this car. And what you have to do is you've got to go to the inner harbor in Baltimore and in the little courtyard area they had, they had a Dodge Chrysler Laser, and you had to stand back. I don't know what it was, 93 feet. I don't even know what the hell it was.

But you had to throw a football through the window, the driver's window. If you did, you won the fucking car. So the rules were 93 people were going to go. If no one does it through the first pass we go again until everybody gets a turn and someone wins this car right this night we're somebody's getting the car time okay we're in baltimore city someone's winning the car for sure and i say all the time there's this one young dude fucking looking like johnny you over here who doesn't stop throwing he He's practicing. He's practicing. My mom's deep.

Somewhere. I feel like in the deep 80s. Okay. But he's behind us. And I'm like, fuck. At least we got a shot to get one in before fucking Johnny U over here laces it up in there. Does mom have that tape in her hand? My mom doesn't have shit, dude. Okay, okay.

My mom didn't bother to talk to us. My mom didn't do anything. I said, did you even fucking practice yeah I had some friends at work my mom was none of us were close anyway but we're stuck with her we go my mother gets the ball and we're like

please God get us out of this fucking Volkswagen there's five of us crammed in this motherfucker she threw this fucking ball and it starts off this thing died not even halfway there. It just shit out and skirted over there. We were like, God damn it. So now we got to hope that everyone misses

so we get another chance in the 93 to go again. And two or three throws later, Johnny U comes up and right in the goddamn window. And you know what he does? He goes right over the side, and and you know what he does he goes right over the side and he keeps on throwing because there's other people after him just in case he's got to go one-on-one with somebody and he didn't and that motherfucker won the car whoa won the car yeah hilarious just seeing the ball die midair just like a lead fucking balloon bro nothing not

just a horrible just a horrible thing there's something very special about like radio man it's just like you know people really get like like this is a big part of their day they listen to it at work they on the way to work and there's a good time a chance to win some good money sometime a car that's a fucking car back then that was a nice car you know right yeah it's like you can win something you can can win money, prizes, a car. And yeah, man. So what are you guys doing there? So we're doing a family four-pack of Disney tickets. And people are calling up.

And we would give them away. And it was great. I would answer. It's like $500 to get four people into Disney. That's huge. And this is years ago. So it was really expensive. But in that promotion, they're like, you can win $500 if you call when you hear this song.

So in addition to the Disneyland, you're getting $500 on top of it. Yeah. If you call in that window. You can only play that song once or twice. It was like twice in one day. You, in one day you would get 500 bucks, a thousand dollars a day, you know, only two chances.

You gotta be listening. But so, so it goes down and, um, you know, I'm giving away the family four pack, you know, you know,

I call, you know, I, I call the honor DJ through the little, uh, one way, uh, speaker thing.

And I say, Hey, you know, I have the winner. Great. They play the song. And I'm like. And I said, hey, you know, I have the winner. Great. They play the song. And I'm like, oh, dang, that's, you know, and then they're like, we just played this song. The phone lines are going to, you know, be, you know, crazy. And we're going to, you know, pick the caller. They said the number of the caller. So my job was to dump all the calls

and count by tens, 10, 20, 30. Now you're, you know, you're going down to the number. 10s, 10, 20, 30. Now you're going down to the number. I didn't know that I was not supposed to pick the winner for the 500 bucks, right? They were going to do it over there. So I was dumping, but then I was like, one, two, three, whatever. Like, let's say it was caller number 67. So I dumped, you know, five times on number 67.

One, two, three, four, five. And I would go, call number one. No, call number two. And they were like, hello? Did I get it? Did I get it? I'm like, I have some good news for you. Hang tight. Right? And then I'm listening to the radio. I have a little radio in my office and I hear,

and the winner of the $500 is Joe Schmo, whoever it was. I'm like, oh my God. And I'm like, I got the winner right the $500 is, you know, Joe Schmo, you know, whoever it was. Like, oh, my God. And I'm like, I got the winner right here on hold. I got the winner right here. He's holding. I'm like, oh, man, this is not going to go well.

And I click on the thing, and I'm like, hello, you there? Yeah, right here. Did I win? Like, hold tight. I'm like, fuck, he's still there. What do I do? And there's a delay, right? So it's like, by this point, he knows he's not the winner,

even though I told him. He's like, I have good news. Hold tight. He doesn't have a chance to call back. It's bad. I'm sweating bricks. You haven't told anybody yet? Just you and him sitting there me with my face in my lap going what did i just do i'm gonna get fired from a

job that i'm not being paid for that means the world to me right now i'm not gonna get my three college credits for this yeah i mean you know yes exactly so. So it's like I don't know what to do. I'm shitting bricks. I'm like, man, now what? And so I go in the studio and they're like, yeah, you know, here's a winner. And I'm just pale, sweating. She slides me the info, first name, last name. Now I got to get the rest of the information, address, blah, blah.

I'm filling out the form. Hey, congratulations. Like, oh, my God, I'm filling out the form hey, congratulations, like oh my god I got the 500 bucks, yeah, congratulations you know, and I know in the back of my mind, I got my homie on hold still, so I'm filling out the thing, I say alright, congratulations you can pick up the prize on

such day, bring your ID so they can verify that you're the winner of it, blah blah and the on-air host could tell that something's wrong. He's like, you all right? Yeah, yeah, no, I'm all right. And then I'm like, I'm going to go answer phones. They're like, all right.

So I go back there and I answer. I'm like, hey, man, how's it going? He's like, he's quiet, man. I could hear dead air. You didn't win the thing. I don't know if you were listening. And I'll never forget it. He goes, nah, fool.

Nah. Nah. Nah, man. I heard his feelings so bad. And I'm just like, I'm really sorry. Nah, fool. I won the $500. I'm like, nah, man.

Listen, there was a mistake. Nah. Nah, fool. I'm like, thanks for calling, and good luck next time. I hit the dump button. I was like, that's it. I get one call on the line. One light's blinking.

Hello? You know, I do my little spiel. I won the money, fool. He's calling back. It's just like a horror story. Are you scared now? Oh, fool. He's calling back. This is like a horror story. Are you scared now? Oh, yes. And he's staying quiet.

Like those boxers? I didn't want him ever again. I love that he's being super quiet. Nah, fool. Nah, fool. I'll never forget it. Listen, that's way more of a mindfuck than somebody screaming. You'd be like, whatever.

I've heard people yell, whispering it in composure like that. And then he would listen to me. It sounds like he's cleaning his gun on the other end. And I'm trying to plead my case here. I'm like, listen, I only answer phones. They pick the grand prize in, like in the main studio. I just, you know, screened the calls. And I'm like explaining my job title to the guy.

I'm like so nervous. And, you know, there was a mistake. And I apologize. But you can, you know, call in again. You'll have a chance to win 500 bucks tomorrow. You know, you have two chances to win. I'm now saying the spiel. And so, yeah.

No, fool. I just wouldn't answer the phone oh man so and and and he would kept he kept calling in and um it just ruined my whole day or well well that we're still talking about that night it's just that night he's and he keeps calling and it just ruined my day and i'm supposed to stay longer now because i made friends with the second on-air dj so it's like they're like hey man are you all right yeah no i'm all right and then he's like uh can we told anybody no no because that would be the last day this dude ain't called anybody else at the station or no he's calling the same line the you know the guy picking up. And so eventually I'm like, he's going to have to talk to somebody. And I said, look, I pick up the thing and he's, he's there.

I said, look, man, I messed up. I'm sorry. I work here. I answer the phones. Let me talk to some people and see what we can do if we can get you a consolation prize. No. And, um,

you know, I'll, I'll make this right. Give me a call tomorrow. He just hung up. I was like, fuck. And I'm like leaving the building,

looking over my shoulder. I'm like, he's, he's sitting on the hood of my car, swinging his feet going, you know what I mean? And, um,

I'm scared. I go home. I'm just like, I can't even sleep that night. I feel so bad that this guy is supposed to get the $500, and he didn't get them. So I come to work dreading it. And the dude starts calling in. And so now I'm just dumping the call.

I'm dumping the call like, hello? And I knew it was him. I would dump the call. Now I have to go in studio. They answer one of the calls in there, and he explains everything to me. Oh, no. So now I get a call from the radio, the manager guy. He's like, hey, can I speak with you?

I'm like, yeah, yeah. And he's like, you can't do this to people. He's like, if they won something, we could get sued. It's 500 bucks. So he's like, we have to find a way to figure know figure out you know make them win something and it's just like i'm i'm really sorry he's like what are you doing back there i'm like i thought i was supposed to dump the callers and get to this one it was really bad like like he's like bosses are coming down on me this guy keeps calling so he he not only kept calling yeah of course he so he's been calling so

now they're annoyed and they're sweating like i am because they're all they're hearing is the whole station is scared the whole station is scared from this guy i would have just done i buy a pony up some money here let's see if we get this guy and and and the station i'll give props to the station they made right by him they did give him 500 i don't know what they gave him, but he was quite happy. I just made sure I wasn't there the day he came to pick up the prize. Yeah, no shit, dude. And I never told him my name or anything.

I was just, like, very scared. And I still think about that guy. It's like, man, like, however long it took for him to get $500, like, man, he worked for those $500. That was not free. Like, he worked for that. I love it. But anyway, that's my little radio story. He worked for those 500 bucks. That was not free. Like he worked for that. I love it. But anyway, that's my little radio story.

I want to get this story in before we have to get out of here. But tell me about Mexico City. Oh, Mexico City, man. Loved it. Loved Mexico City. So I went out there to do some shows. I was performing, you know, stand up out there in Spanish. When?

How long ago? Two years ago? No, this is like a few years ago now um so like about four years ago right so i'm out there doing shows and uh my homie demar randy shout out demar randy uh he went out there with me so we're out there we're having a good time and you know he doesn't speak spanish but he's like you know the shows that they would do out there in mexico city they would do them in english sometimes and i'm like you know we'll get you some stage time and he performed the comics no'm like, we'll get you some stage time. And he performed.

The comics know English, so we got him some stage time. And I have some stage time, too. We're not doing big shows. It's just kind of like doing a run of shows. And we're having a good time. Now, I have a huge addiction to pastries, muffins, pan dulce. You do? It's pretty bad. where does that come from

did your mom make them back in the day or i used to go to bakeries as a kid and just like cash out on whatever my dad would give me what was your go-to oh conchas empanadas uh there was this uh one called royals which was like a so it doesn't have to be sweet just any kind of anything like cupcakes i yeah it's like i'm i'm i got really addicted to cupcakes muffins remember how costco used to have like the box with all the muffins yeah yeah and before it was all chocolate all poppy seed all this now they give you the variety pack i used to buy the chocolate box i could probably kill it in two sittings like like i put them in a bowl of milk, just pour like it was cereal. Real problem.

You know what I mean? And so I have this like huge addiction to like sweets, sweet bread in particular since I was a kid. And so we're in Mexico City and they got bakeries right in front of the Airbnb where I'm staying. So every day for a week, I'm going out there. I'm loving it twice a day, you know, a cup of coffee, some champurrado. I mean, whatever it is. And I'm killing peace. I'm taking pieces of bread to the dome, like killing it. And by like the fourth day, you know, I make friends with the baker and I'm, you know, telling him, it's like,

man, you got some good stuff here, man. And he's like, oh man, he's like, are you new in town? I in town i said i'm just visiting but you know kind of i i'm just blown away by your bread you know kind of thing so before we leave i told demar i said hey i gotta take some i gotta take some of this bread back home yeah he's like what are you gonna do that for from mexico city yeah some of From Mexico City. Yeah. Some of this fresh bread. Some fresh bread. And he's like, it's not going to get there nice. You know what I mean? It's like, you have to carry it. It's going to be sawdust when you get there. And I'm like, nah.

So I'm kind of like thinking, like my mind's turning. Nah, fool. Nah, fool. It's my bread. now is my brain so so we go to this target equivalent right

and I'm shopping for backpacks so I'm looking for the biggest backpack I can find so I go in there and I buy some some backpack two backpacks because I had some more stuff I want to take back but I got the big one. And I asked for extra plastic bags.

And I lined the inside of this backpack. I'm about to fill it up with bread. So we go the last day, right? Because we're flying out the next day in the morning. So I go into the bakery. And I throw the backpack on the counter. And the baker looks at me and throws my backpack on the ground. I'm like, why'd you do that? He said, you want to rob me? Is that what it is?

I said, no, no, no. I've been coming here all week. Like, why would I rob you of all people? You know what I mean? He's like, I'm like, I'm going to take some bread. And then he's like, I thought you had a gun in there or something. I'm like, no, no, not at all. And it was kind of a weird thing. And so I said, I'm going to get a bunch of bread. I'm leaving this back here just so you know I'm not stealing anything. But I'm going to get a bunch of bread.

So I take $30 worth of Mexican bread. Damar got a tray. Damar got a tray. I got a tray. And we already got a tray on the counter full of bread. Damar got a tray. Damar got a tray. I got a tray. And we already got a tray on the counter full of bread. And I'm just like getting pieces. You know what I mean? Listen, I fall down like bread.

No. You fucking love bread. You do not like bread. I like bread, bro. I'm hearing Chopin music playing in my head. You know what I mean? Yeah. And, you know, classical music.

I'm just like, I'm loading it up, man. I can't get enough of it. And so we got three trays, right? And DeMar's looking at me. He's like, I don't know, bro. This is going to look mad suspicious. I said, hear me out, man. We're going to get this bread there.

So we buy all the bread they give us. He didn't put them in the backpack. He put them in brown paper bags. And he's like, you do it at home. I'm not doing it here. So we take it. I go back to the Airbnb. And I'm carefully placing all the pieces of bread in there.

Polvorones is one of my favorites. So I'm leaving those for the top because it's like almost like shortbread cookie. So I'm leaving those for the top. The pencil department and the backpack, you know, I'm putting like smaller like cookie type stuff in there. I pack it out. It's a big backpack. It looks suspicious as fuck.

Now we got to go to the airport. So we're going out of, we're flying back to LA out of Benito Juarez airport in Mexico City. So and this is early. This is like five in the morning. So we're outside of the airport just chilling on like 3.30 in the morning, 4 a.m.

And we're just chilling, right? Me and Damar. And so now it's time to go and like going through customs they start sweating demar and they're like you need this paper to get back in he's like i don't have it i'm like did you did you lose it it's like that paper you fill out like when you go to montreal or you know stuff like that save it you gotta save it the whole time and they're giving us a hard time and then he's like it's either 500 bucks or you find the thing or um you stay here

till like i got 1500 worth of bread right here i'll give you a third let me put something together for you man you like bread how do y'all feel about this kind of bread hear me out hear me out excuse me can i get your attention please you'd be the only agent that would be like, I got you. Down here. Down here. Yeah. Get on the intercom. Hey, Zeus, we got one for you.

Bring it. You got pan dulce? Yeah. All right. Come on down here. And the intercom. Does this work here? Y'all like pan dulce?

And sure enough, I end up with the guy in customs that goes, nah, fool. That's who I get. That's who I get. That's who I get, right? So now we're looking for this thing, our luggage. Hold on. Give me just how overstuffed is your, like, if you turn, are you hitting people with your backpack? Like, how far off your back is this?

Let me tell you this. Have you seen those office chairs? They're like a big, like with a handle like kids have. Imagine that I put that in a backpack. It's just breath. Yeah. It looked like I got Kirby in the backpack. Like I'm kidnapping Kirby.

Yeah. So I got the backpack. And they're like, hell no. You know, it was stuffed because the backpack straps weren't down here. It was just like this tight. All tied up under your arm. Like I just deployed a parachute. Oh, God.

So both of you get pulled? We're there. Yeah, we're both pulled. Our luggage are out. We're trying to find for this there's this little piece of paper it's it's getting down to the wire so we got to make this flight and we still have to go to customs and we still got to go to the next checkpoint and he finds it and the guy's like all right now you guys could go so they're not sweating you about the bread they're just like

fuck that you we want the paper not food not yet yeah. Yeah. So it's about to go down because they got an eye on us. You've been radioed ahead about it. Oh, yeah, yeah. I can hear old rusty cameras. I've been into quite as air. So it's like it's all all eyes on us from the from the flight people, from the airline to the security. And it just feels weird. We're walking down the airport.

We get to customs. Now we got to take everything off and put them in the conveyor belt. So I put the thing. DeMar goes first, and he's already over there packing his stuff, trying to, you know, put on his jacket, backpack. I'm walking through senor over here yeah yeah for sure so i i go over there and they got this uh kirby backpack big old thing like this and they're like what's in the bag like bread

he's like come over here so now they're walking this this bread bag they're radioing people now i have i have two like officers i i guess one of them has a dog right and the dog's at attention he's not he's like mad dogging me uh can i ask you a question yeah you haven't thought one moment that this guy thinking possibly that you could have robbed him could have put anything in this fucking bread to fuck you all customs not until this moment i watched that fucking international lock up and they do they'll they'll sew shit see you gave the guy your backpack and i've seen them take stuff and sew it inside the backpack and he didn't have enough time to go into I mean so yeah I did not think of that I'm I'm I'm blinded so this is an absurd

amount of bread that no one has probably ever seen in the history of their job so they it's worth of taking a look I'm I'm blinded by my love of bread I'm not thinking rationally that's when you know you have a problem when you're not thinking rationally. That's when you know you have a problem, when you're not thinking rationally. And when they call for backup for your bread. I'm still not thinking anything. I'm just like, what? It's bread. Yeah, it's a lot.

Okay. Then what? So, you know, they pull me over, you know, off to the side. And they're like, so what's in the bag? I'm like, well, bread. He's like, do you have anything in here that's illegal? I'm still calm as a whistle. I'm chilling.

I said, no, I don't have anything. He's like, I'm like, didn't you all just look at it through the X-ray? There's nothing in there. It's just literally bread and a backpack. That's all it is. They're like, all right. He's like, we're going to have to open it. I'm like, yeah, feel free.

So they open it. I'm like, yeah, feel free. So they open it and the sweet buttery taste of a thousand the wrath of a thousand buttery Mexican pan dulces starts to fill Benito Juarez airport. What are they doing? The dog that the officer has

you can tell you got the pan dulce. Just what are they doing? The dog that the officer has, you could tell. He got the ponduce. I mean, he's salivating. He's pointing right at you. He's looking at the officer like, what are we supposed to do about this? I don't know that I could do my job effectively right now. They've never thrown me this curveball in training.

You might have ruined it, dog. You might have ruined it. He might be all like, leave or some shit. And it was warm from having this backpack on my back. So any piece of fondue that was up against my back is nice and warm steamy you got fucking red marks on your back I got the imprint of a concha on my back

you know what I mean I look like diabetes that's how much pan dulce I had if diabetes was a person it was me and so now I got this massive amount of bread out in the open and everyone just like everyone just crosses their arm like and i guess now after you saying that everyone's like we know how this plays out but i was just still like so one of the this is what

broke my heart one of the people uh working the thing, not an officer, but one of the people working customs, I guess a customs officer goes, I'm going to have to pat the bread to make sure that there's anything in it. And I'm like, but you just put it through the x-ray machine. Shrugs his shoulders, goes over there and starts pressing on the bread. And I just see the top part just starts cracking. He's breaking your bread and your heart. Bro. Bro.

Bro. It's breaking my heart, man. He starts going piece by piece. And he's like breaking it. He's breaking the bread. And whatever pieces of bread doesn't break, it's all smush. He puts them off to the side. They're going piece by piece, bro.

And DeMar was like, I look over to DeMar. He's just shaking his head like, I told you kind of thing. I was like, man. So they go through the whole thing. They ruin everything. They ruin everything. And then they're like, all right, yeah, everything. They ruin everything. And then they're like, alright, yeah, we didn't find anything.

Have a good flight. Now I got a bag full of sawdust. Did you get it home, though? Did you get it home? I put everything... Great. Thank you for asking that because one of them said, you can throw it away right here.

I said, I'm not throwing it away. I grabbed it and I'm like, those bins where you put your wallet and like the stuff. So I grab it. I just put the corner down, open the backpack and I'm like shaking all the stuff in there. And I zipped it up and I'm sitting there with now what looks like a normal backpack full of sawdust. And DeMar was like, are you going to eat that? I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to eat that. And I remember there, like, being on the plane, and I'd open it up and just sneak.

I would, like, pack it like it was chewing tobacco. Yeah, bro. Yeah. Pack it in nice and tight. And just killing it. Yeah, right. I'm with you. It's pretty chill with that boy.

And I got home. Last thing I would say, I got home and my dad was like, what the hell is this? I'm like, and I explained the whole thing to him. He's like, and you still brought it? Is that throw it away? I said, I ain't throwing it away. So I had like two weeks worth of bread that I would just go over there and just chew into back, pinch and just give me a little.

I love it, dude. But yeah, that's my little Mexican bread story in Mexico City. All right. Now we're at the end of this here. We've talked about what we've talked about. What advice would you give to your 16-year-old self? I'll be honest. The main piece of advice I would give my younger self 16 year old self is everything

that you got in trouble for like doodling um you know being disruptive to a certain extent like doodling all the writing all the all that stuff like pay attention to that because that's gonna pay the bills one day. All the creative stuff and, you know, sometimes I do understand listening to people because, you know, they've lived life and they can give you a piece of advice of like, you know, go to school, do this. It's like I'm happy that I listen to all those things, but prioritize what you want to do in life just as much as everything else that your parents tell you, go to school, go to college,

do this, prioritize that too, because that's a big part of it. And I wish I would have, I would have pursued it, you know, some of these things a lot more and, you know,

I'm a comic now. So it's like, you know, I'm, I'm so happy that I, that I came around to it. You know, it's like I was able to figure it out and,

um, uh, advice. Yeah. Be patient. around to it. You know, it's like I was able to figure it out. And advice? Yeah, be patient. I love it. Please promote again everything you'd like. Nah, fool. Wait a minute. Instagram. Instagram.

At Jesus Trejo, the number one. Twitter, at Jesus Trejo or jes JesusTrejo.com for upcoming shows. Yeah, I got some stuff coming up. So I don't have any exact dates right now, but I'll be posting in the coming weeks. Hope to see you at a show. Thank you for being awesome and for the opportunity. It's great to see you, man. You too, brother.

Thank you so much for coming on. For real, that was a lot of fun. Thank you. And thank you all as well. RyanSickler.com, Ryan Sick coming on, for real. That was a lot of fun. Thank you. And thank you all as well. RyanSickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media. We'll talk to you all next week. Bye.