The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Jim O'Heir - HoneyO'Heir

Episode Date: October 21, 2024

My Honeydew this week is actor Jim O'Heir! Grab a copy of Jim’s new book Welcome to Pawnee: Stories of Friendship, Waffles, and Parks and Recreation. Jim joins me to Highlight the Lowlights of growing up in Chicago, his father's life before passing, and how he’s overcome his own mental health struggles. We dive into Jim’s father's career switch to support the family, and a long-held secret that came out on his deathbed! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour Detroit, MI - Nov. 8th Minneapolis, MN - Nov. 9th Madison, WI - Nov. 15th & 16th Portland, OR - Nov. 23rd Ft. Lauderdale, FL - Dec. 6th Tampa, FL - Dec. 7th Tempe, AZ - Dec. 20th and 21st Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Cuddly - For every $20 donated through a one-time donation, CUDDLY will gift a soft and snuggly blanket to a rescue animal in need. Go to https://www.cuddly.com/HONEYDEW

Detroit, Michigan. I'll be there Friday, November 8th at the Magic Bag. Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'll be there Saturday, November 9th at the Parkway Theater. Madison, Wisconsin. I'll be there Friday and Saturday, November 15th and 16th at Comedy On State. And Portland, Oregon. I'll be at the Aladdin Theater, Saturday, November 23rd. Get your tickets to those shows and all shows on my website at RyanSickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. ["The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler"] Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the night pan studios.

I am Ryan Sickler, RyanSickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And I'm going to start this episode like I start them all by saying thank you. Thank you very much. I appreciate anything you do that supports anything I do. Merchandise, the podcast, whatever it is, coming to live shows and make sure you do them out on tour right now. All tickets for my shows are on my website at RyanSickler.com. And look, if you've got to have more than you've got to have the Patreon, the show is called The Honeydew with you all. I talk about it every week.

We've got hundreds of episodes. It's five bucks a month. You sign up for a year, you get over a month of episodes for free. You get the honeydew a day early. You're getting it ad free. No YouTube censorship on it. And I promise you, I promise you, it is worth a cup of coffee to go listen to the stories you people have shared with me because it is the best show on Patreon. All right. Crab Feast. I'm going to say that too.

Go listen to it. If you're a big fan, it's an audio library of got seven and a half years with all your favorite podcasters out there with different stories. So make sure you're checking that one out too. All right. That's it. That's the biz. You guys know we do here.

We highlight the lowlights and I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers. I am very excited to have this guest on today for the first time. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jim O'Hare. Well, I can't believe he's here. I can't believe he's here. Thank you for being here. I feel like I've known you forever. I just met you about 15 minutes ago. You're just one of those people for sure. And we have some,

some like friends who have always spoke highly of you. So I'm very excited. Why people lie. I do a lot, but I can tell you, Jim, please, before we talk about anything, plug everything and anything you would like plugging it all. Huh? Well, um, I am on this, I guess we call it a book tour, the first one in my life ever. I wrote a book about my, I call it my love letter to Parks and Recreation, which was a show I did for seven seasons on NBC and it's called Welcome to Pawnee Stories of Friendship, Waffles and Parks and Recreation and it is, like I said it's my love letter. I ended up getting so much support from the creators of the show and the actors.

Mike Scher and Greg Daniels, who co-created the show, both sat down with me. I learned things I never knew about the show. Is that right? I mean, things that I'm like, what? Then you were on it for seven seasons. I didn't know any of this. But things that happened to get it going.

I didn't know how Aziz got involved. I didn't know any of this. But things that happened to get it going. I didn't know how Aziz got involved. I didn't know how Amy got involved, how Pratt got involved, how everybody got involved. There's interviews with the casting director. There's interviews with the cast. Pratt was, Chris Frank, he's saying, I call him Pratt, but Chris Pratt was so generous. He's one of the busiest guys literally in the world.

And he made time for me and he goes, let's go down memory lane and we did. So there's great stories from Chris and, oh God, so many of the cast. So it was just, it's really, it's different because these are stories that have never been told, which is fun. And also there's pictures that have never been seen.

So there's over 60 and it's a big glossy book, you know, shiny and color and all that kind of stuff. So I'm excited about that. It comes out November 19th. You can pre-order now. It books a million and at Amazon and at Barnes and Noble, they had me sign 3000, 3000. How long it take? Days, days. And of course it was a deadline that I didn't think I was going to make because I was on another project.

And anyway, so yeah, 3000, uh, they call them author pages, cause then they'll put them into the book and people can buy pre-signed books, all new stuff. I knew nothing about. Um, so yeah, you can pre-order it now and, uh, it's just really fun. So I'm very excited about it. And the other thing is I'm doing an animated show with the brilliant Aubrey Plaza. The cast is incredible.

It's Aubrey and me and Whoopi Goldberg and Jason Schwartzman and my goodness, John Waters and Amy Sedaris and so many people. It's just like this amazing experience. So yeah, so always something going on. Just wrapped a film in Barcelona called El Reboot that will be coming out I would imagine next year. How long were you there?

I was there for two weeks and we shot some in LA and then we went to Barcelona and I am 62 years old and I weigh roughly 290 pounds and they had me running through streets of Barcelona. They didn't give you a Jim O'Hair, they didn't give you a Tim O'Hair stunt double. We had a stunt double and all they would do with him is cut to his feet. No, my fat ass was the one where I literally. You're the wide shot.

Yes. I said to the director, dude, I'm 62 and fat for real. Something's going to give here. How many more takes? And he goes, well, the camera blah, blah, blah. I go, no, no. Okay. I believe me.

I really, and I'm proud of this. I am very easy to get along with on set. I'm the happiest I ever am is when I'm on set. So I'm always happy to be there, but I'm dying. It's like two in the morning and we've just done take number six. I'm flop sweating, of course. And I'm running, the camera guy's on, what are those things with the wheels?

The dollies? No, no, no, he's zooming around on a little machine. Segway? Like not as, but only with the feet part, whatever that's called. Yeah, yeah, that little thing. Yeah. So he's done.

These guys are in my building, these young Asian kids use them all and they walk their dogs with them. Yeah, they, yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. Hoverboard. Hoverboard. This is what he was, he's on a hoverboard. I'm running through the streets.

It was crazy. And he's that skilled that he's doing that, but also he's next to you on there? He's also, he's a high, he's done it all. He's worked with everybody. He's no, he was, he was incredible. The whole thing was incredible. Other than I thought this is where I die. This Jim O'Hare dies in Barcelona,

which by the way, I have been corrected. It's not Barcelona, it's Barcelona. I did not know that. Yeah, they love that. They lisp it. Yeah, they lisp it. They lisp it. Barcelona. But it was a great experience, but I didn't think I would survive it.

So yeah, so there's always stuff, always stuff going on. Well, I want to give you props too. Parks and Rec for me was, I just saw recently, it's one of the top 10 sitcoms of all time on one of the rankings, which is fantastic. And I feel like you guys were at a tough end to be a popular sitcom because you're, if I remember correctly, you said seven seasons. I feel like you were right on the cusp of losing that old TV box where we all tuned in and going into that digital world.

And I think that you guys did it very well. And it's also, I think weird to see a sitcom that late as an old sort of, you know, I know it was one, the whole office vibe, shot style, but still to see one that late come up big like that. And then last and cross generations and even into that digital world. It's, it's obviously such a great show. It's a miracle because you're right. It's all changed. Yeah. That was, and I'm saying you guys could have got caught up in all that and just disappeared. Like right now on the air, you have, I was just talking to somebody about this.

You have Abbott Elementary, you have Ghosts, you have, there's, we'll see, there's some new, I think there's a new Young Sheldon spin-off, whatever. So we'll see how all that does. But the point is I can name on one hand the sitcoms, the traditional 20 to 24 episode a season sitcoms that are out there. In my day, every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday night was filled with different shows, with different sitcoms and everything. So yes. Our Thursday night was Cheers and Nightcore and Cosby. Of course. Of course.

And it was Appointment TV. In my day it was, you know, uh, well, Taxi and Cheers and, uh, Mary Talbot Moore, all in the family and Bob Newhart, Barney Miller. Oh my God, Barney Miller, uh, Carol Burnett Show, which wasn't a sitcom, but you know what I'm saying? Still a brilliant- Even Mama's Family. Mama's Family, I've seen it all. Listen, Vicki Lawrence, I want you, girl. I love Mama's family. Mama's family, I've seen it all. Listen, Vicki Lawrence, I want you girl. I love mama's family.

I love mama's family. Though for me, I'm just gonna put it out here. I'm a second generation mama's family. I liked when they went into syndication with Iola. Was she the wife that came in? She was the neighbor. Oh, the neighbor. Because the first was, Vinton came back

and they had, with two kids. And then that was network show and then whatever blew up there They come back in syndication and now Vinton doesn't have kids, but then a nephew come however it all works I just like that better and another great show that Doesn't get the credit it deserves and it's still out there every day is Golden Girls You're a hundred percent right dude Golden Girls. You're 100% right. Dude. Golden Girls is so good. Smart.

Smart. Funny. Funny. And they all were, you know, they say you got to have the straight guy, the whatever. They were all very similar and seemed to be like almost like a jazz quartet that just... 100, that's exactly what it was. They were so great. Character differences as far as one's the sexy little, she's the Southern girl

and then the dummy and all the, but yes, they all had the punch lines. It was, they were all biting. They were all biting. Yeah. And I think that show doesn't get, um, the credit it deserves because to this day, we have a golden girls metal lunchbox out there. I was in golden girl masks during COVID with all their faces on it. Oh, that's good.

And somebody said, because I mentioned- I might go for a Golden Girls Halloween now. I was thinking about being the Australian break dancer for my daughter. Oh, dear God. Rolling with her. And then I feel like unless someone makes that outfit, it's going to be hard to piece it together. But if I can't find that, it's going to be one of the Golden Girls.

The Golden Girls, I think, is one of the greatest shows ever. It's smart. And they were talking about in their day, AIDS and gay marriage and like just things that you were certainly taboo. Then now we think nothing of it, but it's just, I don't know, the quality show, quality show. Let's talk about you. So, Oh my goodness. First of all, my favorite topic. I want to talk about your low lights. Let's talk about your from Chicago originally. I was raised in the South Suburb, a little town called Lansing, Illinois. Okay. On the border of Indiana.

And, but then I lived in like Wrigleyville, you know, when I became an adult. Tell me about mom and dad and how many siblings do you have? Mom and dad raised in a very, it's so weird. I don't know what the, I don't know where we would fall. Like some people say, was it lower middle class? Was it middle class? I don't know what that line is, but we're comfortable. I don't ever remember wanting.

I mean, you always want, oh, I want this, I want that. But I mean, there was no, there was no lack of food in the house. There was no lack of being able to go to school and get what you need, that kind of thing. So great, great thing. Were your parents together? They were together and they were pretty amazing. Now you're 62, so your parents,

what year are we talking here when you're born? I was born in 63. 63? No, I was born in 62. No, I was born in 62. Oh my God. I never, is that a thing? Well, I'm 62 born in 62. There's probably a term for that. There's definitely something year.

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't, I never even thought about that. But yeah, so, uh, so three other siblings. And even if your parents are only 20s at the time, they were in their 20s. They're going back to the 40s. My parents died young. My dad died at 57. He had just turned 57. And then my mother,

now some people, especially if a younger person listening, she died at 74. And they're like, well, that's not super young in this day and age. I'm 51. I don't want to go at 74. It's just not, it's just, it's not, it's not old, but anyway, so they won't, but they were that couple that you'd walk in and they would be dancing in the kitchen. They really were.

They liked each other. They liked it. Well, my sister always joked that my dad just, he was all, he only tolerated us because he knew she wouldn't have, my mother wouldn't have it any other way. She was the reason he was still there. They just fell hard and stayed there the whole time.

And then what did that do for a living? He was, and this is the other thing. Uh, the word hero was probably too much, but certainly he did something that I think is pretty amazing. He was a cop and he loved Chicago, Chicago cop. Then it was a Cook County sheriff. He loved it. One of the coolest stories when, then he was a Cook County Sheriff. He loved it. One of the coolest stories when we were kids

that we heard was they put him in the jail cell because they were trying to get information out of somebody. So he went in undercover. Oh, undercover. And he's there and he's been there a couple of days. And then all of a sudden there's this rush of cops coming in and they're just grabbing him and getting him out. The word had gotten out that he was a cop.

So things were going to go bad real fast. But they got him out. I got to ask you a question. Cook County Sheriff, was he, did he, was he ever there when like BB King would come in and do the concerts? I don't know. I don't know. So here he is here. He's doing the job he loved. He started after he got out of the service, because in those days, and he lied about his age to go into the service, which was a big thing then too. Korea, Korean War, so didn't see action per se,

but was in, got out and became a cop. Loved it, his dad had been a cop, my grandfather. So then he marries my mother and they start having babies and it's just, the money is just, it's not there. We're talking. Even back then. Even back then and even worse back then. And so- And did mom work as well? She did at the beginning, but then all of a sudden there's one kid, then there's two kids,

then there's three kids, and then there's four kids. Four of you told me. Four of us, yeah. So my dad was a cop, loved it, loved it, loved it. He loved being a cop. And then it just wasn't paying the bills enough. And he didn't want my mom to have to go to work every day because then you got to get someone to watch the kids.

And we did have a grandmother. My mother's mother was the greatest grandmother in the world, but she also had her life. It was a lot. So he gave it all up and he became an insulator. And, uh, I think that was pretty amazing because I do what I love. I love what I do. No one's happier than me when I'm working.

And if someone said, well, it has to stop tomorrow and you now need to do. Whatever else I, it is, I have to do to make money. I don't know. I don't know. And this is what I have to do to make money. I don't know, I don't know. And this is what I wanted to ask you. You don't know, but if you have a family, you will do like your father. But here's what I wanna ask you, did he change? Was he still as happy as he was when he was a cop

or did you notice a change like this man's? Well, I was young, so I can't really speak to that. My memories of my dad are always, he was a pretty happy dude. You never remember hearing him talk about like missing being a cop or any of that sort of stuff? He would tell a lot of stories about it. Yeah.

So in that way, I think you could, from that aspect you could go, yeah, I think he does miss that. But my dad was also, the O'Hairs, my mother's maiden name was O'Keefe. The O'Hairs and the O'Keefs are just instinctually funny people. Like we just, there was a lot of laughter, just so much laughter. And of course also family bullshit and yelling and screaming at other times, but in general. So my dad had a great sense of humor.

So I never saw, and I saw Krabby, of course, and I saw pissed at us. And when we, the kids goofed up, we'd get yelled at and in those days spanked, uh, which now I guess you're not allowed, uh, we got the belt. I mean, we got, you know, but so did all my friends. This is what was going on. And we never got the belt across the face or anything. And mostly it was across your legs and you would always be putting covers over you or something.

So I don't ever remember it being terribly painful. Um, but those, that's what happened in those days. And your diet, your dad died at what age? Uh, 57 of what would have lung cancer, but a combination lung cancer and mesothelioma, so, but he was an insulator, which meant asbestos. But I will say this, and it was before people knew what they know now. Can I, I don't mean interrupt. Yeah, interrupt.

But I had a friend whose father died of mesothelioma and it was because his dad dealt with insulation. And what they didn't realize is he would come home and just the microscopic fibers would get on the couch and stuff and his kids are breathing it in. And it ended up killing his son later. Oh God. So you said that he was a man of his word. as he would come home and just the microscopic fibers would get on the couch and stuff and his kids are breathing it in and it ended up killing his son later.

So you said it was a combination. Was he a smoker also? Big time smoker, but let me tell you, we had a good family friend Ryan whose daughter did the laundry at home and she died of mesothelioma and her dad didn't get it. And he had to watch his daughter die of something he brought home.

Oh. He brought it home. Oh. She was doing the laundry. That was her chore to do the laundry. So his clothes covered with the shit. His clothes covered with the shit. Oh, God.

And she was just doing laundry. She's a kid, you know, probably pissy about it. Whatever. That was her chore. That was one of her chores. And she died of it. So that is Yeah. Peruvian. We were at that week. That was one her chores and she died of it. So that is, yeah. Yeah, we were at that week.

That was one of the tougher ones because he felt totally responsible, but he didn't, you know, but I get where he's coming from, but he certainly wasn't responsible. But yeah, so, but I will tell you, here's a quick story. My dad got my brother and I jobs in the mill when we were 15, 16 years old.

What mill? A paper mill? No, uh, in the mill when we were 15, 16 years old. Oh, paper mill. No, no, no. Uh, guys, Gary, like the big stinky, um, they're building, you know, that's things for vats of stuff, all this stuff. But I remember it. So now asbestos has been found illegal and we were grunts. So we would do whatever the guys needed us to do. Move this here, move this there, carry this, carry that.

And one day a truck pulls up and we have to unload it. And it is full of bags of asbestos. That is what it is. And my dad comes walking by and I said, dad, I don't think you know this, but that truck is filled with asbestos. Like I'm about to just break over the whole thing. You ain't gonna believe it.

Yeah, you ain't gonna believe it. And he goes like this, keep your mouth shut and unload the truck. So it was still happening because that's all they had been using for years and they probably have stockpiles of this shit. And the company's like, we got to get rid of this shit, keep doing it. So anyway, they knew what was going on. But yes, he was a hardcore smoker. So the combination, like I remember,

you know, you have sounds in your home. I could hear, my dad would get up in the morning and I could hear it like it was happening right now. Cause you hear the bed rocking around. He would get to the side of the bed, put his feet on the ground. You could hear him grab the pack of cigarettes, the fresh pack first thing, first thing.

And then you hear the, because you're tightening, I guess it tightens the pack. And that tobacco in that you're pounding the pack of cigarettes. Then you hear the cellophane because he's ripping the thing off and they were lucky strikes, camels for a while. And then he had the big zippo and then you could hear it. And you was like, dad's day has begun. Yeah. And he needed that to begin. People have what some people it's coffee and it's whatever. That was how we began. So his diagnosis to death was four months. It was fast. It was fast.

And how old were you at the time? So that was 91, I would have been 29. And did you get to spend time with him at all? Yes, not as, you know, when you look at regrets, Tell me. We all knew, like we get the phone, I'm at work one day, I get the phone call. Because they tell you, they give you the timeline?

No, no, no, we didn't know the timeline, but we knew initially when it happened, you get that phone call, it was work. My mother's hysterical. Dad's been diagnosed with lung cancer, which cause we had all been on them. Go to the doctor, you're coughing, you're coughing, you're coughing. But you know, we were naive. We never thought that. I don't know. But anyway, so it was lung cancer and it was advanced. And, uh, so, but I was things were really starting to click acting wise for me in Chicago. So I'm doing this theater and that theater

and I have my comedy group that I'm working with and it's busy and I'm working full-time job during the day. So if I have a regret in life, it's that I didn't go home and I went home, I saw him, we all sat and did all the stuff but it should have been more. It just should have been. Like there were times I was like, oh, it's gonna be so sad when I go there.

So maybe I'll stay out another hour. Maybe I'll hang at the bar with these guys another couple of hours. So I regret that because you can't get that time back. That's just gone. Do you remember your last time with him? I remember all of our, yeah, cause I was losing my shit because what happened was he, the cancer went to the

brain and so then he couldn't speak. And then we get a call. So they, it was like, set them up in hospice. This is, this is where it's heading. And so, but then they, they call my mother and they say, uh, rush Presbyterian in Chicago, it's a teaching hospital. And they said, uh, we think if we radiate this certain section, he'll at least get his voice back.

Is would you want that? And my mother said, my dad, do you want this? Because it was all about what he wanted. So he was still there cognitively. He just couldn't speak. Whatever cancer, whatever it started messing with, he couldn't speak. So he could, but I mean, he could make that decision. Yes, he could make the decision.

And he shook his head. Yes. Off we go. Ambulance comes, we all had to rush Presbyterian. It didn't work. Um, which leads me to kind of a funny story as this is all, as he's his last few days. So we're at rush, we get the word that it didn't work cause he couldn't speak. And then, um, my mother is just distraught. I mean, she's losing the love of her life. Like this is her person as the kids say now, you know,

it was her person. Uh, and she never dated after nothing. She always said, I had the best. There's, she never remarried, never had a friend, never had a date. Never. She, what changed, what saved her life, I always say, cause when he died, it really was, what is going to happen to her because she was still young. She was 54. Like what is going to happen to her? Uh, grandchildren came into the picture and it changed everything. Gave her a purpose. It gave her like, I remember when after my dad died, he had had one of his insurance policies was for like $250,000 and I'm at work. And my mom calls me. She's hysterical.

I go, what's going on? Cause everything's been so sad, you know, I'm like, Oh, what now? And she said, I just got the check in the mail and I'm just going to tear it up. I don't want this money. I don't want money because your father is dead. Blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, the reason you have the money is he wanted to know you would be taken care of.

That's why he paid for insurance policies. This is why he did this so that if God forbid this situation happened, you wouldn't be without you would anyway. So, but anyway, so we're in the hospital and again, we're all sad because now we're just going to plan to get them back home and we're going to do hospice at the house. And, uh, some new doctor walks in and cause it's a teaching hospital. we're just going to plan to get him back home and we're going to do hospice at the house." Some new doctor walks in, because it's a teaching hospital, so it's constantly the same questions. He says to my mother, oh, he's asking her, he goes, now has Mr. O'Hare had other surgeries?

We've heard all these answers before, but my mother just all of a sudden she goes, well, here goes the family secret. Oh, shit. You should, the four of us, if there was a camera on the four of us, it was like, what? Wow, Beck, you have no idea what's going on. We don't know what is about,

what do you mean the family? What's, was it, was she a woman? Was my dad a woman? Like, what is going on? And then she goes, I mean, really, the four of us are, what are you about to say? And she goes, I mean, really, the four of us are, what are you about to say? And she goes, well, in 19, I'm messing up with the year,

but around 1967 or something, he got a vasectomy. First of all, that's not at all the doctor meant when he said surgery, he doesn't mean that. But it's not even a surgery, it's a procedure. And we're like, what? It's a family secret. First of all, Irish Catholic, we were raised. You know, we went to church every week.

Now what do you mean? And then she goes, there's this long pause, and she goes, well, every time you looked at me, I got pregnant. And we're like, that ain't how it works, baby. That is not how it works. So yes, my dad, she kept the secret till she died. As far as she said, he went in with a friend and they both had it done.

And we were like, who else, who else? And she goes, that's his story to tell his family, which is true. I mean, it really wasn't our business, but, um, yeah. So he had had a vasectomy. We had no idea. So what happened was so that they, we get them back to the house. I think the very next day. So by the time the bed is set up in the, in the family room, you know, the hospital

bed hospice, which is I think one of the greatest things in the whole world that I don't know if you ever dealt with them, but they're there for you. They're not just there for the patient. They're there for the family. And one of my sisters is a nurse. And so we get him there and the doctor has said it'll be three to six weeks. That was what it's in a, it's a guesstimate. They never know, but probably he'll pass with them three to six weeks.

So let's say it's two o'clock. We get them back in the house and whatever. And it's all very sad and people are, you know, some families come to visit and everything. But around 10 o'clock that night, his breathing did get kind of weird. And everyone started kind of losing their shit. And I lost my shit the other direction.

I got pissed. You guys, we have three to six weeks. We cannot, every time there's a weird breath, we cannot go crazy. Because it would just be too much. We have three to six weeks of this. He died 20 minutes later. No. They heard what I didn't hear.

That was the death rattle. That was the death rattle. And I think what happened, and again, I'll never know unless I die and there's a heaven and I get to see him. He died at 10, 10, 19, I believe. In your home, was he pwned? In the home, we were all there. Everybody was there, he died at 10, 10, 19. I believe in your home was he home. We were all there. Everybody was there, but I hear they all are. We're all around him and I'm getting, I'm so pissed at everyone. Like, cause I'm just thinking we were not going to, we're going to blow up.

Our heads can't take this for three to six weeks of every time something is weird, we lose our shit. But in my opinion, here's what happened. So earlier in the day, the, um, the hospice people, so when someone's in that condition, uh, for a man, you know, they have to do a catheter, but with hospice, you don't really do catheters cause there's really no, there's no medical stuff there other than pain meds. She's trying to keep you comfortable. You're just trying to keep her.

So they do something called the Texas catheter. It's a condom that is attached to a tube. Yes. And you put it on, you know, for a man, you put it on the penis and then that's how they urinate. So wait, they roll a condom on your penis and you pee into the condom and then there's a tube attached to the end of the condom. So it doesn't have to go in your urethra. Nothing goes in your urethra. It's called the Texas catheter. These have been around for, please. I'd like to go to bed with one every night.

Are you kidding me? I get up twice a night now. I love to just lay there. Exactly. Give me a Texas catheter. Go to the bar for a couple of hours. Give me that condom. You've been drinking for eight hours.

How the hell have you not got up yet? Exactly. And you go, you hold up your bag. Oh, I've been going. Yeah. Please. It's the greatest. I've never heard of that. Oh, I've been going. Yeah. Please. It's the greatest. Never heard of that.

Okay. Great. But I remember the hospice person talking because they were like, who's going to be able to do this? And it was, oh, my dad was, my dad was not the guy. You know, I know I've heard families say, oh, my dad would walk around naked or whatever. That was not our family.

We just weren't, you'd see him in his underwear here and there, but we weren't, you know, running from his bedroom to the bathroom. But there was no, we weren't, we had modesty. There was no doors open when people went to the bathroom. And I'm not knocking it, because some people, every family has their own stuff. We weren't those people. Doors were shut, privacy was respected.

And I think, because he heard everything that was going on. And I think when he realized his daughter, the nurse was going to be doing that, you know, putting a, he was like, I'm not, this is, I'm not doing this. I'm not, I really, and again, I don't know, but things went down hell pretty quick. Things went downhill pretty quick.

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. And he was gone after the breathing started 19 minutes later, he's dead. He heard his daughter was going to have to put that in his cathode. He's like, hell no. Hell no. Yeah. And again, I have no proof of this. But when you're told three to six weeks, they were off by three to six weeks.

Like they had just seen him at the hospital. Yeah. Like, no, no doubt. He's going to make it through the night. No, right? Oh my God. That night, certainly, no doubt. He's going to make it through tonight. No, probably. Oh my God. That night, certainly the next week. You can have people fly in and say goodbye. Exactly, say goodbye. Gone.

He was like, God, hell no. Gone same day. Yeah. Hey guys, we have a new sponsor here called Cuddly. Now Cuddly is a fundraising platform that supports animal welfare organizations all over the world. We have a rescue cat in our family named Crystal.

Crystal was a little cat that my stepson rescued a while ago at a shelter here in LA and then the cat gave him a high five and went viral, got on Ellen. You know what I'm saying? Rescuing is a big deal. Over 4,000 shelters and rescues trust Cuddly to raise funds and receive donations of supplies for the animals and their care. Cuddly thoroughly vets and verifies every rescue organization they work with. So unlike with other fundraising platforms, you can be certain that your donation is actually going to an animal in need. In order to join

the Cuddly platform, an organization must be a 501c3 nonprofit in good standing. All donations made through Cuddly are tax deductible and it is incredibly easy to access your donation receipt to file with your taxes. Your donation history is clearly visible in your donor account and Cuddly even puts them all into a single document for you. When you make a one-time donation, Cuddly distributes the contributions to the animals and organizations with the greatest needs each month. Now your dollar goes even further for every twenty dollars

donated through a one time donation. Cuddly will gift a soft and snugly blanket to a rescue animal in need. Head to cuddly dot com slash honey do today to make a donation and help make a difference. That's cuddly.com slash honeydew today to make a donation and help make a difference. That's cuddly.com slash honeydew. Now let's get back to the dude. And of course that was all awful and all the terrible things that go with that,

you know, but, um, yeah. So, but I think he was, uh, in the world of a Midwest family man, he was a brilliant guy who his family was the most important thing in the world of a Midwest family man, he was a brilliant guy who his family was the most important thing in the world. Do you think back then too, like, um, just when you got a career, that's your career. You're usually a cop forever, forever to change careers back then. These days you're doing it nonstop, but back then to change careers from something to, he didn't go to be a PI or something I feel like would be.

Right. Security work. Secure nothing. Or even anything that used to be dealt with his military background. He went to something brand new. He got it. Which means he had to learn it. He worked with the tools they call it.

He went to the union, he became an apprentice and then he got into the, into the union. He had to start from the bottom and he was already working with tools He was on the skyscrapers putting in insulation damn in Chicago in Chicago in all that February March, that's why you know for actors and believe me I We people's our actors didn't really work. Believe me. We do work. It is work. Yes, our hours are crazy I just did this pilot recently. Every day was 12 hours. So that part's crazy.

That being said, my brother was a welder and he's on a skyscraper in February in Chicago. Yeah. That's work. That's work. That is work. Me, even though I'm on set a lot of hours. We're just sitting here laughing

at these microphones. I also, I think I'll run to my trailer, watch a little television between scenes. Oh, what are the guys crafty today? Ooh, that looks like a lovely cake. You know what I'm saying? Like, but not that there isn't also work because they're studying and there's, it is work, but it's different work.

And so, yeah. And so, um, my dad did hard work. He did hard work. And then he became a boss at the company, you know, and all that kind of stuff, but still always going to the mills every day. And so he was a hustler. He wasn't just content being the guy at the bottom. He rose all the way. Yeah, he did really well as far as that goes. Yeah. And then my mom started selling real estate and we had a really like the, we lived in a house. Can I ask you one question? Sure. Who was,

were all the kids adults at this point when dad passed away, even the youngest? If I was 29, my youngest sister would have been 25. So yes, all adults. So all the guys out of the house. But it's so weird because in my memory of when he died, I feel like I was so much younger. But the facts are the facts. I was born in 61, he died in 90. I was born in 62, he died in 91. Okay, so it's your 62-62 year.

Did you have any sort of epiphany? He's I'm sorry again. He died at 52, 57. 57 just turned. When you became his age. Oh yeah. Did it hit you and what were you scared? Did things hit you? Uh, all of my siblings, we've talked about this over the years.

It is weird. There's something about that. Like when I was approaching it, I'm like, well, dad died at 57. Now he had factors that I didn't have. He was a smoker and he worked around asbestos. That being said I was also in the in the mills lugging those bags of asbestos. Also in a house with asbestos and in a home with three smokers because my grandmother lived with us. So and in those days and we were talking about this earlier like when you're in

the car and the windows are rolled up and there's three people smoking, it's, I don't know how you even saw off the windows. Um, so we had a house filled with secondhand smoke. So all that goes in your head when you're like, I mean, it could happen. And my sister ended up getting lung cancer, non-smoking lung cancer. Thankfully she's doing great. But, uh, that was like six or seven years ago now. So she's technically passed the,

I think five year mark is when it's scary. If you get to the five, you're okay. But anyway, so yeah, it is a weird thing. And every time one of us turned that, we're like, wow, I'd live longer than dad. And now that my youngest sister is going to be 58, she is. We've all outlived my dad.

Yeah. So now it's next. My mom is next. She was 74 and my oldest sister, if I'm 62, brother 63, she's 64. So another 10 years. So it is all weird though. It is weird because you know, I had a buddy, I did a play in Kansas city, uh, J, uh, November, December, January of this past year, uh,

an actor, some people out there will know him named, uh, Jerry Kernian. Great actor. Uh, 59 years old, blah, blah, blah. We did this, had this great run in Kansas city. It was amazing. And, uh, three weeks ago he died, uh, from a stroke and there and his brain bleed that one thing led to another. Like, so you don't know, you don't fucking know day to day. What's going to be literally your next step could be your last. It could, some people could get three to six weeks or 10 minutes or some people get a

light switch. You're just walking and it's over. That's kind of what happened to him, except he lingered, which was a shame. But here he is an actor sitting in his apartment in New York, having lunch and his brain explodes. That's just how it was? Just how it was. Good God. The girlfriend, he called, he was able to, his body, the only thing

working was his right side. He couldn't speak. He was able to somehow dial her and she knew something was wrong because he wouldn't speak, but she heard him breathing. So she runs home and of course, you know, everything blew up. But, um, so yeah, you don't know. So my father died at 42. Oh my gosh.

He's a baby. And, and what can I ask? Well, back then they ruled it a heart attack. Yeah. Uh, cause he had a heart attack and he had just gotten out of the hospital. They sent him home, but they told him, you do have blood clots. So what ends up happening years later, I was telling you a little bit about this out there, but so that's what they said he died of. Then at 42, I, the same age, I collapse on my bed. I'm getting, and they're telling me,

you're fine. There's nothing going on with you. They're, they're sending me in and out of the hospital telling me I'm wrong. And you know there's something wrong. And I, I can't even function. Yeah. And every day I've got clots and I'm at, what I found out now is that I, thank God I passed those clots on my own. No medication, no nothing.

I should not have done that. And then it comes to this hospital thing. And I'm like, look, I've got this disease, and you got to be careful with me. And then they're not. At 42, when I find out what's going on, I then it's a genetic thing. So they tell me, look, back in 1989, when your father died, if anyone died in their 40s, we just said heart attack. But they're realizing now that probably most of those people died of some sort of clotting issue and not a heart attack. Right.

A young. Did he drop dead or was it a prolonged? No, he went, he had a heart attack. He was in the hospital for like a week and then they released him to come home. And he was at our home. We did Thanksgiving at our, my great aunt, but my aunt Marguerite's place in Baltimore City. And then we went, we did a Thursday, Friday there, and then we went back to our place for the weekend. And then that Sunday night, he went to bed and my younger

brother found him dead in his bed and woke us up. So it was, and I'm guessing just like myself, his chest was probably killing him because he went to lay down and he had a little bit of blood they said, or we saw on his toe and that doesn't happen from heart attack. So now, Wait, what do you mean? I don't know what that means. So they said that he possibly could have had a blood clot that he spit or he could have bit his tongue or lip or something. But with a heart attack, you're not getting blood.

It just, your heart's attacking you. So we, I find out that, uh, through deductive reasoning, my mom has to get a blood test, my brothers, none of them have this thing that I have and it's genetic. So he had it and that's actually what killed him. Not a heart attack, this blood clotting disorder. And what about his siblings? Did his siblings have any issues? I have no idea.

Our uncle was one of those uncles that when everybody died, he just robbed the family and took off. So we have, he's still alive. So probably not. He probably doesn't have it. Yeah. I'm probably not that son of a bitch. You know, I always wonder when they find people just dead in bed the next day,

cause I, it happens. I always hope that that person never even knew what happened. And when they find people just dead in bed the next day, because it happens, I always hope that that person never even knew what happened. I just hope that they went to sleep and things stopped. Or was there panic? Like I always hate the thought of people panicking. Like things are bad or happening. I was asleep that night. I wondered, did the man yell?

Did he call out for us? I don't know. Right, but if you're sleeping, who knows? Or did he just go to sleep? Or did he just lay down thinking I'm going to be... Because believe me, that is a gift to go to sleep and die, but not at 42. No. That is not the way to do it. My mother's father died at 61 in his chair after dinner. My grandmother went to say, she asked him a question. She was doing dishes and he didn't

respond and she thought, well, Emmett, and she was getting pissy and she went in and he was dead in the chair. So he just died. So it's all, but things we'll never know. We don't know. We will never, things we will never know. I want to talk to you as well. Cause I ask every guest to write in with some things and one of your things was depression and panic attacks.

When, when did that start for you? What, what sort of happened? Uh, I, I, I never dealt with any of that. Wait, can I ask you one more question? I'm so sorry. About eight and a half hard. Oh, was that what you were going to ask her? I'm sorry.

Did I jump the gun on that? Is that on me? I'm sorry. I should not be. I assume that's where we're headed. I just want to know, even though you are older than your father ever was, do you feel older than him? No.

Right? I've outlived my dad by a decade damn near, and I still feel like his son. Yes, 100%. Though I see him in the mirror every day, the faces that, oh my God, we all do. We always say, you could take these four O'Hare kids and put us in it with a million other people and you're gonna go, O'Hare, O'Hare, O'Hare, and O'Hare. My mother did not have children with anyone other than John O'Hare.

I can guarantee that because we have the little chin thing, we have the, yeah, we are the same people. But yeah, but I see, but you're right. Mentally, I... I don't care if I live I lived 103. I never feel older than that man. And I hope that's, is that good? I guess I don't really, I think it is. I think it's also like a respect thing and a peer thing. And like this man came before me and you know, I don't look like it. I wonder like, man, I still feel like my body doesn't,

but I still feel 20 couple years old mentally. But even when my body doesn't feel, and believe me, every day something's hurting, I still in my head, I'm like, oh, I can do this, I can do that. Like, oh, what do, Jimmy, you have to go, like my manager, yesterday on the phone, she was just like, not berating, that's not the right word.

She's so concerned, my schedule is crazy. And she goes, you have to take time for yourself. This is crazy. Okay. But I'm also the guy. Keep me busy. I'm a happy guy when I'm busy. I just am. So I do. I went on a hike at Temescal Canyon recently and I'm, as I'm in the middle of the hike, I'm thinking my dad's not even alive at this point. And I'm doing all these things, like I'm 51, like I'm healthy, like man. Yeah, yeah.

That's fucked up. It is weird. Okay, I'm sorry. Yes! The question and panic attack. Yes, tell me you had eight and a half heart. Oh, the panic attack. Yes, I'd never dealt with any of that.

And then I moved to LA in 1994. How old are you at that point? 30, 32. Okay. Came out here to do a play we to LA in 1994. How old are you at that point? 30, 32. Okay. Came out here to do a play we had done in Chicago. As I've said many times, it's what gave me my career, this play, because it became kind of a cult thing in Chicago and we thought, boy, maybe LA.

Could it happen there? And you know, the dream was always LA pilot season when you're an actor in Chicago. So we brought it out to LA and it did well. But I was sitting in my little apartment in Hollywood. I had a big meeting that day, this specific day with CBS because I had auditioned for a remake of Harvey which was the old Jimmy Stewart film about the invisible rabbit and anyway, and it was starring Suzy Kurtz and Leslie Nielsen and Harry Anderson and Jonathan Banks and anyway, amazing. And I can't even believe I'm in the running, but I'm not only in the running, I'm the choice, except CBS doesn't know who I am. And they're like,

we don't know. No, we don't think so. But the producer and the directors are like, he's our guy, he's our guy. Please meet with him. Okay, so I had this big meeting in the afternoon, but at about 10 o'clock on this morning, whatever day of the week it was, I'm just sitting on the couch watching television. And I always say it was a wave of awfulness.

I always say it was a wave of awfulness, just a wave of, oh, I mean like feeling fine. Everything is terrible. I mean, literally that's how it was. Oh my God. I'd never experienced this before. So my sister's a nurse. I call her. And here's what just happened. It sounds like you're having a blood sugar issue. Go, do you have any orange juice? No, I don't have anything. There's a little market nearby, so let me go. So I walk there and I get the orange juice.

I come back and I'm talking to her and she goes sip it, sip, sip, blah, blah, blah, all this stuff. Nothing's helping. Nothing's helping. And now I don't know what to do because I'm thinking I can't get to this meeting. I don't know what's happened, but I don't want to walk out this. I can't walk out this door. I don't know what to do because I'm thinking, I can't get to this meeting. I don't know what's happened, but I don't want to walk out this, I can't walk out this door, I don't think I can. So I've always said, the greatest acting job

I've ever done in my life was that day because I did get out the door, I did go to that meeting and they gave me the job. Yeah, so I did get through it, but that's- But that was day one of learning what this thing is. And did they start coming back regularly or? Big hardcore. Daily or?

No, these weren't panic attacks at this point. This was just, as I learned later, hardcore clinical depression. And it just hit out of nowhere. Because after, so my sister, you know, after this all happened, I said, I'm not better, I'm not better. She goes, go to the doctor,

you gotta get a physical, blah, blah, blah. So I go to the doctor. We do all of it. Chest x-rays, whatever. Jim, you're fine. Blood works good. Everything's good. He goes, I think it's, uh, you might need to see a therapist. I go, what are you talking about?

There's something wrong. He goes, I agree. I'm not saying there isn't, but it's not here. It's, we think it's up here. So, but now I have to head to Vancouver for six weeks to do this movie, which of course I'm excited about, but here I am heading to Vancouver and I just want to, you know, lay in my bed and be in the fetal position. But again, I got through it and that's when the panic attack started. I was on set one day talking to another actor and as he's talking

to me, I can feel, Oh God, something's going on, something's going on, something's going on. And then I'm literally physically shaking, sweating. And he goes, are you okay? I don't even know what he's saying to me. Cause my head is, I don't know. This is a panic attack at this point. I just think something terrible is now happening.

Heart attack or whatever it is. So, but then all of a sudden it went away as quick as it had come on. Okay. So I got through that. So that was a rough shoot. Just, it was so exciting in so many ways. It was my first big, big exciting thing. Here I am in Vancouver for six weeks with Leslie Nielsen and Suzy Kurtz and all

these amazing people, but it was, it was a battle to get through it. So I do. And then I come back and then I start therapy because something's gotta give. And so then he put me on meds and he said, you were clinically depressed and these are panic attacks. Can I ask you what, why? What made him think it was clinical depression?

I don't know how they label it, but here's what his thoughts were, you know, why this was all happening. You said you've never grieved the loss of your father. And I said, well, I have to tell you, I disagree with that because I have cried my ass off. I have been in the shower crying. Like to this day, if I'm in the shower and you know, your brains, I go,

I gotta do this guy and something will come up and I'll think of my parents and something will lead to another. I could be crying in the shower. I'm Oh, I gotta do this. Good. And something will come up and I'll think of my parents and something will lead one thing to another. I could be crying in the shower. I'm doing it at the grocery store. I hear a damn song. Come on. I say all the time in the frozen food section, nowhere.

Exactly. Yeah. So I, even all the years, years later. Yeah. So I felt I did like my God, did you see me at that funeral? Some mass and that's, but then you go deeper and you go deeper and he did the exercises where you talk to your, this person and all that kind of stuff. So I did all that.

And I think ultimately they came down to, which we talked about the top of the show. I had regrets about where I was for him at the end. And even though it was only a four month period and I was there, but I could have been there more. And my dad was not a, I love you type of person. He showed it with acts of love and service touching you and patting on the head and that kind of thing. And he's providing, he's out there switching careers. Exactly.

And supporting me because he never understood what I did. Because he worked eight to five. Can we talk about that for a second too? Because I laugh about this all the time. Even you, you're 10 years older, but I mean, our dads, our grandfathers were, you know, my grandfather was World War II Air Force. My dad's Vietnam. And I never had the conversation with them, but I talked to a lot of these guys and then they're like, I want to go tell jokes.

I want to act. And like, you want to do what? How about get a job? You're lazy son of a bitch. Men from that generation. Nor should it, nor should it. Made no sense. He worked Monday through Friday. He brought home a paycheck. His family thrived. This is what you do. Yeah.

And so he'd be like, he literally said to me, he goes, so you work downtown Chicago during the day, then you do theater at night and they don't pay you. Yeah. I said, well, I kind of lose money because, you know, you help build sets. And so you go run and get paint or you can run and get wood. So it never ever made sense to him. That being said, he was at every opening night I'd go, uh, when the reviews would come out, his buddies would go home.

Your dad showed me that review. Good for you. Or, you know what I mean? So, so he was very proud, but he didn't get it. Right. Never made sense. And that's one of the things I feel really bad. It can't be a regret cause I had no control over it.

But one of the things I feel bad about, he never got to see the success. My mother did. My mother, your mom, she saw me on parks and rec and she saw me. I flew her to New York. Like you ever talk, you ever have that conversation with her mom? Was your mom like, dad would have loved this. Oh God. Well, she would say, yeah, he was never gone

He was good. He was never gone and she the grandkids who never met him know all about him He was never see the you need people like that. Yeah, my buddy Shannon. I gotta give him credit I am I happen to be in town doing a show in Baltimore and then Tom Segura was at the Lyric which is like That's the bucket list theater if you want to perform in Baltimore. It's the Lyric. It's the one. And, um, he's doing it and he's like, reschedule your flight out for another day. Like just come do the show with me tonight.

And I was like, yeah. And he's given me 20 minutes at the Lyric in Baltimore and my buddy Shannon comes. And when we're done, we're in the lobby and people are coming up like, great set, great set. And, um, he's like, man, your grandma and your dad, what a fucking love this. And do you know, I hadn't even thought of that. I'm just, I'm, you know, I'm my job. Yeah. I got a job.

I'm also not expecting to do this show in front of 2,500 people. My hometown. I got to get the boom, boom, boom, boom. You don't have time to think about it. And I just always love that he said that to me after. And I started crying right there. I was like, you son of a bitch. Well, my dad's friends who are still alive will say, he'd be so proud. He'd be so proud to be so proud.

And my mother, like I said, she spoke his name every day. So he was still part of our lives in many ways. So, but yeah, I hated- Pictures of him up around the house. Oh my gosh, all this stuff, all this. And then when my mom died, she knew she also had lung cancer and she knew it was coming and she basically planned it. She put notes together.

She had me, she totally screwed me over because I was a mama's boy big time. And when she passed, I said to my family, my siblings, I go, I know you guys are thinking I'm going to be the guy who's going to talk at the funeral and everything. I said, I can't. And they go, we know, we know, we know. Cause I just knew how it would be a mess. So she had said to me when I'm gone, go to my bedroom, go into the thing and you'll see the

steel box and inside is my insurance papers and da da da, everything was laid out on top of the, of everything was a letter. Dear Jimmy, please read at my funeral. No. Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Why can't not?

Like my mother just literally said this in a letter and it was the most beautiful letter to everyone to know. She goes, I don't want other people telling my story. I want to tell my story. And it was, it was only three pages, but it was. She goes, I don't want other people telling my story. I want to tell my story. And it was, it was only three pages, but it was, she goes, I was born into a family of love and then I was raised blah, blah, and I never thought I could be happier. And then I met John O'Hare and he's the greatest man that I've ever met.

And then he gives me Beth and John and Jimmy and Ann and then my grand girls, my grand kids come along and they save my life. And they, and then she has me saying to them, I'm here for you, talk to me, I'm still around. Like, oh my God, it was lunacy. I was sobbing like a, oh, it was just crazy. So she got me at the very end, but she was, she got to see a lot of the fun stuff.

And I, I love that. But she's also one of these people, very prideful, very, very prideful because my mother was fine financially. You know, my dad had left her insurance policies and social security, all this stuff, but she wasn't wealthy or whatever. And so, you know, when things were kind of rolling pretty good for me, I said, listen, I'm going to start, um, every month I'm just going to send you X amount of dollars. That's nice, I'm going to start, um, every month I'm just going to send you X amount of dollars.

You're going to what? Well, I'm just going to like, you know, but I don't need your money. I mean, she was, she wanted to rip off to fifth favorite. You cheap fucker. That's all you're sending me. No, just the opposite, dude. She wanted, I buy my own. I go, I'm not, she took a fence. She didn't want to be a charity kid. She goes, I go, mom, this. I go, I'm not. She took offense. She didn't want to be a charity kid. She goes, I go, mom, this, I go, you could take the money, spend it on the grandkids.

I don't, I don't, it makes, I said, I just, you've been nothing but supportive. The money you helped me through the years. When I first moved to LA, me and the guy who I did the play with, we moved here together. We rented this place. It was mayhem.

We didn't have money. I go to pay the rent one month and the guy goes, it's already been paid. I go, I didn't pay this. He goes, I got a call from some Eileen O'Hare. She paid it. So I'm saying this, I just wanted to like say, Hey, things are good. Let me know. No, no, no. And if you send me a check, I will rip up that. I mean, she was pissed. So then the only way I could kind of repay was with things as far as. Mom, I'm taking to New York. We're going to go see some Broadway shows. She'd never been in New York.

Mom, we're going to go to here. Mom, we're going to do this, mama. You know, so that was the only way I could do it because she wasn't going to let me. It wasn't going to be cash. It was not going to be cash. But yeah, but I was lucky. I had incredibly supported people, even though they didn't get it. Tell me, um, cause we've got to get you out of here, but tell me how you, um,

eventually how you've gotten a hold on these, uh, panic attacks and the depression. How, what, what did you do? I think medication number one, they put me on Zoloft and for me it helped big time and what helped with the panic attacks. And I don't give the doctor credit for this because he's not the one who told me this. I'm driving home one night. I'm on the four Oh five in California and listening to whatever radio show.

This is, you know, in the nineties when we didn't have all the podcasts and everything else. I'm listening, whatever, maybe KFI or whatever the radio station is. And there was a doctor on there talking about panic attacks. But it would always make me nervous to listen because when I used to talk to friends about panic attacks, it could cause one. It like created the atmosphere. Oh, wait, oh God, is it happening now? Like, because you dreaded them so bad, you just, they were debilitating. so bad, you just, they were debilitating. This person said on this radio show, here's what you do.

You talk to yourself and she said, you know what this is? Can't hurt you. Ultimately can't hurt you. You know exactly what this is. You're not gonna die from this. You are not gonna die from this. You've been here before. You've been here many times.

That's interesting. And I'm telling you, it was for me, the game changer. What are you saying? Like these things right here, like you're fine, you're okay. You're fine. You know what this is? I'd feel it come on, cause it was daily at that point. I feel them come on.

Oh, you know what that is. Okay. And I got better at it. So it didn't like immediately turn it off. I wasn't immediately like, oh, screw you panic attack. I banish you. You can't come here. No, they would still come,

but they would get less and less intense the more I was like, okay, you know what this is. This is nothing, you know exactly what this is. And I would say within about six months of that, I did not have a panic attack again, until I was on a plane heading to Atlanta to do a film with Stephen Soderbergh. And I had somehow convinced myself that he made a mistake and he cast the wrong person.

Like I did 100%. For sure. I'm like, oh, he thinks I'm somebody else. This is wrong. And I'm sitting in that first class seat and everything is good. And then I go, oh, no, no, no, I think there's been a mistake. And then I, I've, in that case, I say, I forced myself into a panic attack. It was self-imposed. Like the others just happened. They just fucking happened. This one was self-imposed to where the flight attendant, sir, are you okay?

She's looking at a fat man sweating. She's probably thinking we're going gonna have to divert this plane. I said, no, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. And it was just good old fashioned panic attack. And so that was the last one I had, and that was years ago, and I hadn't had one in years. So thankfully they are not part of my daily existence.

They are not, thank God. That's great. Thank you for coming and doing this. No, my pleasure, this was so much fun. Last question for you, we're going to get you out here. Advice you would give to 16 year old Jim O'Hare. Oh boy. You know, as the fat kid, but so there's always like, uh, who cares what people say, you know, when you look back, you know, I,

I'm that guy now you see people go, someone so said this about me on the internet or this who cares? I don't give a shit. If I don't know you and you mean nothing to me, what do I care what you think of me? I don't care. I don't care. So I wish I could convince myself at that age. It doesn't matter. Be a good person. Be good to the people that you love because they're going to be good to you. I'm somebody who, um, you know, I, I, I, I, I like to give and be, but if someone shits on me, I'm tough

to rebound from that because I'm always like, I've been nothing but good here. And then you could do that to me. And then I can kind of be like, okay, I don't need that anymore. Uh, and I should probably do less of that. I should be less string, you know, stringent about that. Um, but I think I would tell myself, just don't listen to the, to people that don't matter. Great advice. Um, promote one more time. Oh, promote the book park. Uh, welcome. What's the name of the book?

It's about parks and recreation. It's my love letter to the show. It's called, uh, welcome to Pawnee stories of friendship waffles and parks and recreation. Uh, I have an animated show called Kevin with Aubrey Plaza that will be coming out next year. A film called El Reboat that we just shot, but I don't know, no one just raps, so I don't know anything more about that, but at some point it'll be out there. All right. Congrats. And thank you very much for doing this. My pleasure.

As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Come see me on tour. Catch a live show. Tickets are on my website at ryan sickler.com. We'll talk to y'all next week. You