The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Josh Wolf - HoneyDew Review 2

Episode Date: December 26, 2022

This week I have fun Highlighting your Lowlights again with Josh Wolf! We review 10 of my favorite stories from my patreon show, The HoneyDew with Y’all! No one has a patreon like this and no one has stories like y’all! I’m keeping it at $5/month! YOU ALSO GET THE HONEYDEW A DAY EARLY, AD FREE AT NO ADDITIONAL COST! Sign up for a year and get a month free! Subscribe now! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail]  SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips  SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187   SPONSORS: Mindbloom -Get $100 off your first six sessions when you go to https://www.Mindbloom.com/podcast/honeydew Dad Grass -Go to https://www.DadGrass.com/HONEYDEW for 20% off your first order Rocket Money -Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com

I want to make a very special announcement here. I'm excited to say that I have the Crab Feast podcast back under my control. Okay. So it's every artist's goal to get their property back to them. We got it. All right. So if you don't know about the Crab Feast, but a lot of you do, I want to say this. I'm on the road at meet and greets. People come up, been rocking with you since the feast, man, crab feast, but a lot of you do. I want to say this. I'm on the road,

meet and greets, people come up, been rocking with you since the feast, man, the feast, the feast. The crab feast is a podcast that I did with Jay Larson. It's a storytelling podcast, audio only. We did it for about seven and a half years. There's 350 some episodes. Hell, if you listen to two a week, it would take you three and a half years to get through it. But it's a phenomenal library that I'm very proud of. It's what preceded the honeydew for me. And it's got all the same favorite guests you love. Segura, Bert Kreischer, Bill Burr, Christina P., you name it. And they're all different stories too. So if you love the honeydew, you got to check out the crab feast. Subscribe to it today. It's still getting a ton of downloads already. There's an active community on Facebook that goes through every episode.

It's been almost gone for four years now. So feasters, let them know. Honeydew fans, if you are looking for, you're them know, uh, honeydew fans. If you are looking for, you're all caught up on a honeydew and you're like, what else can I listen to? I'm telling you, go listen to the crab feast. It is a fantastic, fun, uh, storytelling podcast. You know, there you'll get like, man, I got this weird ghost story and a near death and

a marriage story into this, where that's what, what, you know, the honeydew for me was the crafties needed to have a baby. And I just focus on highlighting the low lights here. So go check it out. It's available everywhere you get podcast. It's audio only. Like I said, subscribe, join the fan pages, have fun with it. I'm going to be promoting it every week here on the honeydew now that it's back in control here. So I'm very excited about that. Thank you, Feasters. Thank you, Honeydew fans.

Enjoy the feast. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the honeydew, y'all. We are over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I am Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, and Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And I want to say thank you, starting every show this way. And this is the last one of 22, y'all. So thank you very much. Whether you're new here or whether you've been here, I appreciate the support from day one.

If you are watching on the YouTubes, hit that subscribe button. That's what we want. That's our New Year's resolution to get more subscribers on this channel. It's a free way to help the show. Also, check out that Crab Feast, all right? Crab Feast. If you're looking for a new podcast, check out this old one, Seven Year Library. All your favorite comedians, completely different stories.

Go check that out, all right? Now, as I said, this is the last episode of 2022, and you guys know what we do over here. We highlight the low lights i'm very excited to have this guest back on to do to uh do a do review ladies and gentlemen josh what's up man what's going on man first of all i i am every time i hear you say night pants it makes me real happy thank you man it makes me real because i gotta got to say, you were the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't know that I'd go forward with actually starting my own fucking fashion line. I'm going to call it a fashion line.

It is. I see more people in night pants now than when they're walking around. I'm like, oh, night pants. You're like, honey, dude. Yeah, yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? What'd you call it? You hitting on me, dude? All right. walking around i'm like oh night pants you're like honey dude yeah yeah what you call you all right well i'm gonna explain to everybody uh what we're gonna do here so we're gonna take a

break for a change of highlighting our low lights and uh this worked out so well last time we're gonna do this again this is our little end of the year show where uh you and i are going to review um some of my favorite lowlights from my patreon show the honeydew with y'all i will tell you the last one and and you and i have both done a ton of podcasts our own other people's top three favorite podcasts i've ever done dude because you know i like i know you like this i. I love this shit. That's why I was like, I'll just go around your schedule. I love that shit.

Well, we have some exciting stuff for you and you. But the Patreon, so you know, it's called The Honeydew With Y'all. And I highlight the lowlights with y'all. We've been doing it now for a few years, okay? And I'm keeping the show at five bucks. I've never raised it once. I'm not going to raise it again this year. It's $5. If you want to sign up for the year, you'll get over a month free. You get the honeydew a day early. You get it ad free. You get it at no additional cost, all right? And if you or someone you know has a story that has to be heard, please

submit it to honeydewpodcast at gmail.com. Hopefully we get to do some episodes together. Now, we chose, and again, these are no order like a top ten or eight. These are just ten of our favorites. There's so many. We've done hundreds of these episodes. We only did 11 last time. We gave you a bonus.

Here's ten this time. So we're talking 21, and these are just moments from each of these episodes. And I go an hour. I don't dog these fans. I treat these fans like they're you or Tom Segura. You're getting an hour with me, and we have some fun. So before we get into that, please plug, promote everything Josh Wolfe. Okay, first of all, this this weekend if you're in tempe

and there are still tickets left i will be at the tempe improv i'm there with my son jacob um this is the new year's eve shows uh i only have a host do 10 minutes and then it's a bananas show i have guests it's a it's a a bonanza extravaganza, but it's a good time, man. Last year's show sold out. So if you're in the area, come through. Um,

if you're in New Zealand, in Australia, Jacob and I will be there the second half of January. All this stuff is on comedian, joshwolf.com. And, um, my shows in February and Nashville at Zany's are also almost sold out already. So if you want to come,

come get some, the real thing I would love you all to check out, which is free, free, free. It's a show that I do with my son, Jacob called Family Tussle. Yeah.

On my YouTube channel. I will tell you, man, and I've told you this before. I think it's the best thing I've ever done. Not just the production value and, and the, and everything we put into it,

but like, it's like the reason you like Jackass or impractical jokers is you like seeing people who love each other fuck around with each other that's like do you know what i mean you love yeah you love seeing that because there's a certain there's no lines you you can't hurt each other's feelings everything's on the table yes yeah and you there's some of the things that like so it's he and i compete with in contests and the loser has to do something terrible now he made me get a tattoo on my back oh you didn't see that uh-uh what is that it's all the ass waxing i watched every bit i watched every bit of that i didn't know you got a tattoo yeah it says jacob is my biological dad where is it right on my shoulder, man.

What did you lose to have to get that? Oh, I lost that boxing. No. Yo, dude, he peppered me. He did? He peppered me. He's long. He's long and lanky and tall. You know what it is, man?

So we're in the ring together. And you know, about our age, you don't realize the difference because you still feel like, oh, I feel good. I would see a punch coming and i'd be able to tell my head to move and it just didn't you know what i mean in time that's what i mean well it moved after he hit it you know so he peppered me pretty good um but you know i did some things to him man so the way we torture each other is different you can't embarrass me so but he would do things my punishmentsments were physical. I watched his Ask Me About Herpes.

You're missing out on a good community. I just said you're missing out on a good community. So it's so much fun, man. And the clips are anywhere from six to eight minutes. We had some crazy guests. Your episode is coming out at the beginning of the year. Okay, good. But we had some great guests from Freddie Prinze Jr.

to Seth Green and Chelsea Lynn came and did one with us. Yeah. So it's amazing. okay good um but we had some great guests from freddie prince jr to seth green and chelsea lynn came and did one with us and so it is it's amazing if you guys check it out it's on my youtube channel and here's the thing for me i listened to a bunch of execs and people tell me why it wasn't gonna be good and so guys like you and segura you're inspirational in that i was like wow why don't i'm i'm gonna listen i'm just gonna do it myself so self-funded self-produced yeah so every from beginning to end it all came out of my little brain that's one of the other reasons why i'm most proud of this because i saw it in my head i was like fuck you people this is funny well when you present an idea to most people in this industry first of all they do not have the hustle we have right they do not have the heart we have they do

not have the drive we have so the immediate reaction from them is let me give you six reasons why it won't work okay i sat in a sushi restaurant the other day by myself listening these two guys this guy was hungry for a graphics job is a video game they were having a conversation about it and this dude just like yeah you know he's got to do a proof of concept and i'm like i wanted to turn around and be like don't go work for this clown you'll be his boss in two years this guy doesn't know what to say to you he just wants you to do all the work and then bring you something that's turnkey and then he can attach his fucking name to it and take credit for it do you know no you know what we used to need them for is distribution that's legit we needed them to have our stuff get it show we don't they have a job but we don't need them for that right i well

what we did need you for was to do your job yeah well that's all i needed you for just to do your part of this yeah yeah yeah i'm doing everything else yeah you do that part of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing everything else. Yeah. You do that part. Now we don't even need you to do that part. It feels good, man. It feels real good. Good for you guys. Yes. It feels real good.

Good for you. Good for you. But I'm excited, man. I'm doing the same thing with my special. All the power back in my hands. Self-funded doing it all. I don't care. I did the same thing.

I don't even want to bother trying because even if I get it, I'll worry about it on the next one. It'll be four months of pitches five months of contracts and lawyers and legal and i'm like we got this thing would have been out for six months but yo not only that they're gonna give you notes on your comedy fuck yeah you know you you i can't have people who aren't funny telling me what they think is funny. No. Because not only that, man, what they think is funny, you know your audience, right? So they're telling you it's funny. I know what my audience likes.

I know who's watching me. Yeah, they're my audience. They're my audience. That's why they like me. And I've worked really hard, right? So don't, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, man, I'm psyched. Well, I'll tell you what, I'm proud of you, and you have worked hard, and I've worked hard.

Yeah. So why don't we sit back now. Can't wait. And relax a little here, and we'll just go ahead and highlight some of the lowlights from the honeydew with y'all on my Patreon, okay? First guy here, he's back. He's a favorite. His name is Mike Frampton.

We call him the death janitor. Oh, I remember this dude. Remember this guy? Yeah, yeah. He was wearing a Christmas sweater last time we call him the death janitor oh i remember this dude yeah yeah he was wearing a christmas sweater last time we saw him this is from that episode this guy's got fucking we only heard a snippet oh no this guy's got stories for days okay days he's the most popular um patron on the patreon and he's a death janitor. Mike Frampton cleans up crime scenes, dead bodies, things that the coroners and everyone else don't take away.

Right? So this first one here is a little bit about hoarders. This is a little story about hoarders here I wanted you to check out. We'll just kick it off. This is a fun one, just a fun one. There was piles. My buddy Corey hadn't seen anything like this and he says to me what am i looking at like what

is what's in the sink and i said that's shit and he goes no it's not and i was like well the guys hoarded his bathroom over there where would he go like there's no shame you don't get to stop shitting so if you hoard your bathroom you got to figure that out home depot buckets we had people get so desperate they just cut a hole in the floor in their living room and just shit into the basement into the basement dude so what happens he's on the second floor that's the problem they don't think about it they hoard themselves into a corner and usually it's into a bathroom and then once they hoard themselves in there it's the fast food and everything coming they can't get out to cook

or anything it's delivery and then it just piles up and they have to shit and they filled the toilet they filled the sink they filled the tub cut, they filled the tub, caught a hole in the floor. Power shitting down into the sink. Let me ask you a question. The first time you shit in the sink. The first time? Do you know what I mean? Are you like, I'm just going to do this one time? Yeah.

You think you'd be like, uh-oh. I might want to make a pass. I might want to just clear a path. My instinct wouldn't be like, you know, I should cut a hole. I would be like, I should maybe pick one of these things up. What are you cutting the hole with?

What are you cutting the hole with? By the way, you know how bad you get a shit if you're like, I got to cut this hole. You got to cut this hole,

dude. Okay. Wait a second. Isn't there like wires and pipes? Do you know what I mean? Like, it's not just a- I don't think you care if you got to shut that down.

Dude, so why not just walk downstairs into the basement? Why are you going to cut the hole? Because most of the time these people are also obese and they can't. So they're just sort of just like a trapped animal. They're just backing into the cage. I got a question for you. Sure. When you're that fat and you're a hoarder,

how good a job do you think he's doing wiping that ass? He's not. You think he's reaching that ass? Definitely not. You think he wipes it on the carpet like a dog? He just kind of scooches around the floor? He used to, but he just cut a hole in that and do you think okay i got another question do you think he's using an area rug for toilet paper

do you think he hovers or he cuts a hole big enough for his ass to sit on well let's see if he tells us any here. We've had a couple that did that, where they just took a sawzall and just cut a fucking hole and just down the hole it goes. This guy fills his sink, he fills his toilet, filled his toilet to the point where this guy had to fucking

stand on the side of his tub and on his sink to get over the shit pile to get the shit to land on top. No! I had to take a contractor bag and it filled it, the shit pile to get the shit to land on top. No. I had to take a contractor bag and it filled it, the whole thing, all the way down. And then we had to push the pile of shit over in the bag to get the bag on top.

In the bag. In the bag. By the way, if I'm working that job, dude, that's new. Hey, new guy. You know if I'm working that job, dude, that's new. Hey, new guy. You know what I'm saying? Whoa.

Okay, so he doesn't- You hear what he's saying? But how come he never flushed it? He's hoarding his shit too? Yeah. Yeah. They hoard the shit? I actually experienced this in my life when I worked at a hotel.

I worked at a Beverly Hills worked at a beverly hills hotel called the beverly prescott back in the day kimpton property great hotel one of my favorite hotel property chains kimpton i love dog friendly and uh it might be pet friendly and um we had a hoarder come in and she did the same thing she um would shit in the toilet and it piled up outside over the rim uh how many shits you think that is it was a lot it was a weekend's worth she was there and just shitting non-stop and in her mind when they took her out um they were telling us that they killed her no they sound like a sniper took her they should should have. They fucking escorted her. I mean, she was taken out by the hospital. They came to get her.

She also, the other problem, too, with her was she was loaded. She was a Beverly Hills lady, and she lived close to the hotel. And Jerry's Deli would just deliver to her all the time. So when the delivery guys would come in, they would tell us about her. Like, you don't understand, dude. She's got newspapers covering her front porch, sealing the floor and and just like you can't even get in so she'll take a break and come over there and hoard over in that room because she had the money to do it right but she would not flush her shit because mentally it was a part of her and she just couldn't get rid

of that so she would hoard her shit too. Yeah. I'm not a doctor, but I am a podcaster. The Patriots. Sign up for a year. So a couple, they would shit in the hole together. No,

no, no, no. He's saying a couple different people. Oh, yeah. He said a couple people do. Yo, you,

you, you probably can't keep a friend, a relationship. Do you know what I mean? Like, if I had a friend who just came over and never flushed their shit, I'd be like, yo, what? What are we doing, man? You would smell that house before you got in that house.

I can't believe it. You know what's crazy is that, like, the concept of hoarding to me, maybe I throw too much shit out. I don't know about you, but I'm like, if I haven't used something in a month, I'm like, I don't need that anymore. Fuck that. I'm a big donator. I donate a lot of shit. But like, you know, when you walk into somebody's house and there's a hole in the floor so they can shit, why not just take a torch and be like, you know what, everybody?

We're going to, this is a reclamation project. We're just going to light this fucking bitch on fire. Right? I think because also they're so big, they've backed themselves into a room. They can't get out anymore. You know what I mean? They can't get out of there. They're done.

They're in there. They're going to die. Yeah. You're going to, I bet you find the fucking Declaration of Independence in one of those people's houses. You know what I'm saying? Well, I'll tell you what. We're going to move on to clip number two here. But before we get into clip number two, let me ask you this, Josh Wolf.

Have you ever had a bike wreck? You ever wreck your bike? I wrecked my moped once. How old were you? I was probably. Was it the pedal start? Like old school? Oh, yo,

no, I used to have one of those. I was probably 20 or 21. By the way, when I had this moped, Ryan, did you own it or is this a rental? You're out having fun.

Owned it. Okay. Was this a Vespa or is this a moped? Moped. Okay. Now listen, the, the,

the muffler broke. And so it sounded like a it's like yeah it sounded like a harley and so when i would come down the street people would look and that it was a harley and it was just me on a moped but not only that at that time in my life i was working at children's parties you know the costumes and the guy who owned the company wouldn't let you show up and change because he didn't want the kids to see you out of costume. So I had to drive him on my moped. What characters are showing up on the moped? Let me tell you something.

The guy assigned me three characters, and one of them was Peter Pan. That's a good one to be on a moped. Let me tell you something, dude. Ryan, one time I'm on the moped. I'm dressed like Peter Pan. And a cop pulls up to me. He looks. He rolls out the window and he goes, hey, man.

I go, yeah. He goes, I was going to give you a ticket for no helmet. But it looks like your life's going bad enough as it is. Looks like you're in the shit. Fucking drove away. And I was like, yeah. But I dumped that moped once i you know what happened what were your injuries oh i skinned up that entire left side of my some road rash yeah yeah my hand

yeah but luckily for the cop i was wearing a helmet there you go it happened after that but i was dressed like a clown when i crashed when you crashed it was really embarrassed when the emt came he was like what the fuck is it was a moped and a bloody clown and he was like this is like my nightmare but yeah it was it was not great but nothing too bad i got road rash road rash nothing too bad well um this is andrew curtis here andrew curtis uh he wrecked his bike and um i'm gonna let him tell us about his accident. And it's like one of those single outhouses, and I locked the door, and I was just in a panic in this. And I was checking myself, and I was like, I don't see any cuts or anything.

So I pulled my swim shorts down to my ankles. And when I looked at my, I don't know how to put it nicely. When I looked at my dick, there was it. You know when you overcook a bratwurst? We'll just go ahead and stop there. Fuck your road rash, dude. Andrew Curtis' fuck your road rash dude andrew curtis's dick looks like an overcooked bratwurst bro oh my god yo how big is your panic if your dick looks like that he fucking went down face first and did the road rash on the body.

And that's when he was like, oh, I don't think I'm okay. I don't see anything. And then he pulled his pants down. I was like, oh, and his dick is now looks like an overcooked bratwurst. But hopefully it's just it's swollen. Let's see what's actually going on with it here. It was even doing the little like. Oh, no.

He's a squirmer, dude. Oh no! It's not good. Did it recover? It's not good for him right now. Okay? Hey, you gotta subscribe to the Patreon. That's $5 a month. Wait, you are by the way, episode these first two you've got your five

dollars like i don't know i don't know wait so did how does it look now did he have to have like plastic surgery uh he had he's gonna he's gonna tell you a little bit about it like i panicked i didn't know what to do i was like a soldier holding his dying buddy on the battlefield, like holding him like, oh, my God, you're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. He's saying to his own dick. He's saying it to his own dick. You're going to be okay. His dick's like, tell my parents I love you.

Okay, keep going, Kurt. We went right into this, like, numbing or i don't know what they gave me but it was a shot and he grabbed it and he literally just went no he didn't give me a countdown boom right like into my like no no no no no warning they took his bratwurst dick that squirt blood jammed the fucking needle this is the worst bike ride ever here guys yo dude this is like best advertisement for uber i've ever heard of wait wait i'd wear a cup every time i hopped on that bike Yo a needle in the dick Right in the urethra bro

Right down your dick hole with no warning They saw what was happening And they were like we gotta numb it And get surgery on this motherfucker To be fair If they had given him warning he'd have been like fuck yeah You can't be like Hey I'm gonna stick this needle in your dick hole

You'd be like nah what are the other options I need to hear option two and three. The good news is. There's good news? There's more to the story, but they were able to repair it. Like the $6 million dick? Maybe $6 million. Well, let's listen.

I don't want to spoil here. You said from your abdomen is where the stitches started? Yeah, pretty much. They went all the way from the top all the way to where it hits my body. It pretty much went all the way up through there, through over around the tip, and just barely around the other half. So kind of like candy cane shape.

They stitched all the way up in there. Candy cane stitched his dick up. Oh, no. Hey, just Christmas. It was just Christmas. Wait, let me ask. Is it the same shape as it used to be? Same size?

Well, I'm going to tell you this much. Those answers are on the Patreon. Sign up to the Patreon. $5 a month. Okay. Okay. Okay. Can I,

if someone was going to get in there, right? Do you have options? Can you be like, listen, can you bulk it up a little bit? I would be too. Yeah, right?

As long as we're in there. Can we make the mushroom head a little fat? Just make it real weird. Like those new big hats. Yeah. You know that dude on Fat Albert that has that hat?

That's what I want it to look like. I don't mind if the shaft is thin. I don't want a fat head. Okay, all right. All right, let's get serious now. Nothing happened to his nuts? No, the nuts were okay. it was all belly and cock just took the run of the dick was like oh dude yeah his dick ripped open dude okay all right we're

just getting started can i ask one more question how did the bike accident happen do you know i don't remember how he wrecked. I don't. He must have gone over the handlebars, right? And just landed like. I can't remember if that or if he like went down and just skid. I can't remember, but you got to watch it. Because I would imagine also, you ever hit that bar in the middle? Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Like that seems like an asshole nut accident waiting to happen. All right. Well, speaking of accidents, we have a tragic one here we're about to discuss. This gentleman, this young gentleman here is named Andy Schmidt. Andy Schmidt, he died. He died. Interesting enough, his death is ruled a drowning.

You're going to hear the story though but I'm going to set it up so his buddy's driving another friend in the passenger seat and Andy is in the back behind the driver in the pickup truck and his buddy's sitting across from him they're driving along this the edge of a lake so it's just a little marsh and they look what's about to they think is a cliff or a ditch and the guy goes to veer off and as they do his dog's in the back with andy and the dog goes to jump and instinctually andy goes to grab the dog and save him so when he goes to get the dog the truck tips and as it tips it rolls over on andy and it pins him under it face down and that other dude's dick entered his mouth and that's when his the dog started humping him could you imagine the dog

his ass right he is face down under the truck but the thing is because they're on the edge of that water he's actually in a in in face down in water and he's drowning. Oh, no. But he doesn't know it. He thinks he just needs to lift his head up, but he doesn't realize that he's pushing it down. So he's jamming his own face worse because he's all flipped around and doesn't know. He thinks he's trying to lift his head up. And as he's there, his buddies are grabbing him they've got his legs and they're trying to pull him out from

underneath this truck they realize he's drowning and dying there's nothing they can fucking do and he is kicking his fucking legs like a motherfucker okay that's what's happening right now this is not as funny as sausage dick it's definitely not so there's a moment where basically you know you're you're dead you're gonna die it is what it is and that's where i stopped and i prayed and i said i said god either you take me now and i'm a-okay with it i've had a good life or if i I get through this, I'm not going to be in a hospital for the rest of my life. I said, if you want me to keep going, I ain't doing it in a hospital. And that's it. That's where it ends for me. So right there in that moment, you're

able to be centered and just have however long that even if it was just a couple seconds you were able to have that moment with yourself and your maker okay this kid's young have you ever saved a life or had a near-death experience i've definitely had a near-death experience i i um you know can i tell you something crazy about that okay i've been i'm not going to get into it i told you earlier but i've i've been sick recently and um and tried to figure been really trying to figure out what's wrong with me and i've gone everywhere you've heard of reiki energy people so i went to this woman and she said to me hey were you in a car accident when you were in high school?

And I said, yeah. And she goes, should you have died? And I go, that's the EMTs came and no seatbelt. I hit a tree head on. Did you? At 35 miles an hour, me and my buddy. We both hit the windshield and no joke within three inches of each other. But for whatever reason, center, neither one of us went through it.

The EMTs always were commented on that. One of the EMTs was my youth football coach. And when he came and saw me in the hospital, he said, first, I'm stunned you're both alive. But there's no way that neither one of you got ejected from the car is crazy. So I went to this Reiki healer. Whether you believe this shit or not,

I can just tell you what happened, and she was like yeah she goes i see a big shadow that protected you i'm like i don't know and she mentioned a name and i go i don't know that person but i reached out to my friend who was in that accident with me and i go you're never gonna and she was like well this i don't know i can just tell you what I'm seeing. Big person. But my buddy was a huge person. And I said, does this name mean anything to you? And he goes, that's my grandfather. Nuh-uh. That's my grandfather.

And I was like, dude, I'm just going to tell you that this healer I went to. This random lady who doesn't know who the fuck either of you are. This healer I went to said that this guardian angel was the reason neither one of us went through a windshield there was a long silence and he was like i gotta go i go yeah me too but send me an angel yeah dude it fucking it was crazy this happened recently dude so many bananas things have happened to me recently that have made me rethink life but that one and this woman that's crazy it blew me the fuck away dude blew me away but yeah so that one experience where i always thought something worse should have happened to hear that whatever 30 40 years later

was fucking crazy yeah yeah now also that you're still alive and you were able to live long enough for that to circle back to you. Bananas. All right. Yeah. So this young gentleman is dead under the truck right now. Let's listen to the rest of his story. Right as this happens, after the truck flips, they see it.

Jake and Matt stay with me. And Owen, the younger brother, just went running down the road screaming as loud as he could. 100 feet up the road from where we flipped, nurse and a firefighter camping. No way, dude. Camping? But this is, let me ask you something. And some people would call it coincidence.

Is that where you fall? You call that coincidence? You know what I called it immediately suspicious a nurse and a firefighter to me sound like you're having an affair you're out in the middle of fucking nowhere and they were like come save me yeah and they were like we can't we actually we can't only one of us can go i was like yeah yeah but wait till you hear what happens wait till you hear that the nurse and the fire. So, excuse me, his friends have done everything they can to pull him out. He has died in their arms.

So his legs go lifeless in their arms. They know their friend's dead under that truck. Then one kid runs up to him and just starts screaming. And here comes a fucking out of nowhere a goddamn nurse and a fire by the way this is all happening while he's dead dead these two immediately come down this firefighter i swear this dude could have been on like three shots of roids this dude fucking massive so this dude and my two buddies flip the truck no did this dude turn green before he flipped the truck

somebody make him angry somebody make this motherfucker Yo, the rock shows. Yeah. Right. And now they are able to flip this truck off with his big steroid ass doing it. But the girls, the woman he's with, the girlfriend or whoever she is to him is a nurse. But trucks, this guy. Like fucking Rogan walked out of the boat.

And these guys. And this isn't like this is all happening while you're dead by the way not knocked out yeah i'm giving up i'm giving up you and your legs are dead so now now did you ask him was he cross-eyed before the accident you can tag him on here's what i want to ask you though how long do you think he was dead the nurse was able to time death how long do you think well isn't like bad shit what's the timing where like i mean a hundred a hundred yards and a hundred yards down yeah i don't know how quickly you can run a hundred yards but like i'm not the rock yeah i'm this guy i'll call

yeah all right i listen he's dead for two minutes not bad he's actually dead for three and a half fucking minutes yo there's dead he's he's not they're supposed to be permanent shit three and a half minutes and you got to listen to the episode to uh hear the rest of it listen really died that's not only by the way that's the minimum the second there i think we've had three or four people that have died on this have you have you ever had a near death yeah i've had several near-death experiences um but nothing like that i wasn't pinned i almost got hit by a truck and wiped out like mangled so i got lucky but nothing like this nothing where i was even unconscious for that i mean that's

it's a while bro to be dead half minute yeah dude no pulse nothing he's flatlined there and he's a firefighter and she's a nurse so they know and he's helping do cpr while he's doing five hours a month it ain't going nowhere he was doing push-ups while he was doing that you know that is yeah a hundred percent that changes how i live my life from here on out don't you think i asked him are you still keep in touch with these people he said yep he does thanks i'm like they're alive because of them he's like yeah are they still fucking that's a good question i don't know i think you were out of them uh all right so this next one is another fan favorite you might recognize her from last time also her name is randy kioski

she is a uh she went from yeah i love her gangbanging to uh dominatrix and i want to be very clear gangbanging you could clearlyrix and I want to be very clear gangbanging you could clearly think it meant sexually but this was actually in a gang gangbanging

then shifted into being a dominatrix I love how casually she talks about this stuff she's super casual about it she's relocated to Nashville

for any of you out there coming for a dominatrix yeah she's great she's to tell us some wild shit. Just curious. Whatever.

What's the freakiest thing you've done sexually that you're comfortable talking about? Like, what would you say was something where you, you know, pushed your limits? Okay.

Okay. He talked like an old lady. I clutched the pearls. Hold that sweater to go. Well, here's the thing man i don't know how don't say who with and you don't have to if you don't want to but get you know get somewhere it doesn't matter what age you were just something where you were like i got a little experimental or whatever there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. When I was, okay, I won't say when, because I don't want to. Yeah. But there was a girl I was with who was always talking about threesomes. Mm-hmm.

And I was like, yeah, I'm down for female, female, male. That is 100%. Because here's my thing. I had done a male, male, female with a buddy of mine. You did? And I kept laughing at his fuck face. I couldn't take it seriously. Cause we were facing each other and he,

he was doing the whatever. I was like, and I said in the middle, I go, is that your face? Is that what you're going to do the whole time? I can't look at you, man.

Do you know what I mean? He was, I think he had watched too much Peter North or something. You know what I mean? Cause he was, and I was like, come on, man.

Like we're here together. So let's have a little fun or i am i would ski on this well she was a little freakier than i was and i was like i'm not into this and she was like come on let's try it one time try one time and she was like have you ever had a dude touch your dick i'm like nah i don't want to do that that's not something i'm interested in she was like just let him get close to it i was like what does that mean he is listen if i'm fucking you back here and he's right there on the other end he's close yeah yeah i was like he's more than close i was like he's close enough right and um let him get close she was like how about if you let him, if you're fucking me, you let him like also lick around my puss and my asshole. Right.

And I was like, that sounds like he's going to be licking my asshole. And she was like, no, no, no. Just let him get close to it. It kind of turns me on. And so I was like, I go, okay, we can get close to it. He got a little too close to it and i had to back out i was like listen i told you this is not my she was like i thought once we were in it you'd be fine i go no i told you like that is not my deal man do you know what i mean but what i wanted your butt it's my mouth yeah it was in my mouth because what i wanted to tell myself is I'm not homophobic and this is fine.

You know what I mean? And I don't think that makes me homophobic. It's just not something that I was... Something you don't like. It's something I wasn't into. Yeah, I wasn't into it. It wouldn't have been homophobic if you beat them up or called them names or something.

You're just like, listen, guys, I'm going to get out of here. Yeah, actually, that is what I did. I said, hey, everybody. That's enough of that. It was almost like you walk away from the blackjack table. Good luck, gentlemen. You know what, guys? Good luck to everybody. I'm out. Yeah. I said hey everybody it was almost like you walk away from the blackjack table good luck gentlemen you know what guys good luck to everybody but that was maybe the freakiest

because I really was like I was in a stage in my life where I wanted to not define anything I'd be like yeah I'll fuck in but I have made a definition I walked out of there with a hard that's not something I'm into alright everyone has their boundaries

let's listen to one of Randy's clients' boundaries. At the place that I had in Chicago, we had a body bag that had a hole in it, in the mouth. We would have get-togethers and things like that. And we had a really high, we call them white whales, which are really high paying clients. They came and he wanted all the girls that I could find. He said, I don't care if they're professionals or if they're civilians. I want as many girls as you can find. We'll pay them, you know, anywhere from $100 to $7,000, depending. He's like, just don't go over, like, don't make it crazy, but try to talk him to be as you know small amount

as possible i ended up getting around like i think it was like 12 girls and they he laid in this body bag which you suck body bag hold on tightly around oh no no no no no no no no no that's me right now no no no no no because we're touching on a lot of good things a lot of things for me one i'm claustrophobic it's same fuck two death is not that's not my nope that's not my kink there should only be one time you're in that mother that is it you know and you shouldn't know about it yeah yeah yo what this should be the last dude's kink well i, I'll tell you. This is the beginning of the kink. Let's listen. You vacuum the air out.

It's like second skin on you. Yeah, so he's just got the hole in his mouth. And we put, like, you know those cone-shaped things that you pour oil in into the car? Yeah, funnel, yeah. Right, so we had like a large one of those that went into his mouth. Now, I'd like to ask you, what do you think happens next? I think they

pee in their cone. That's a solid guess. Let me see, Josh. Let me ask you a question, man. Say a rich dude and he goes, hey, I'm going to get in this body bag. I don't care who it is. And he puts a cone in his mouth and he's like i'm gonna pay you seven thousand dollars you peeing it yeah me too

i'm peeing in and i'm fucking taking some shots in his ribs too on the way out because he can't get out of that fucking airtight body bag i'm peeing in that motherfucker too. Seven grand? Is that what they did? They peed in it? Let's take a look. And we all took turns pissing, shitting into that. Shitting into that.

Okay. You were half right. I have so many. You were half right. You were half right. I have so many questions. He swallows it? Well, let's listen.

No. It got to the point where he was wiggling because it got clogged. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. So we had to pull it out, And it was like all over him, all in his mouth. He was chewing it. Chewing it. He was. I hope that answers your question.

Dude, I gagged on this episode for real. It's $5 a month, y'all. Sign up for a year, you get a month free yo you get the honey to the day early ad free who's got chewy shit like what well there's a bunch of people and you're pissing and shitting to get it it's a pope it's a fucking jambalaya of people's shit and piss this man is eating it he's chewing it oh yoalaya of people's shit and piss. This man is eating it. He's chewing it. Yo, but what, when you eat shit, I know this is weird, but what does your shit look like? I mean, it depends on what I've eaten. No.

What does his shit look like if you're eating shit? Oh, my shits look like I was going to get my cone. It's a great question. What if it's the most perfect shit i don't know but here's how much he loved it do you want to hear how much this guy loved this let's listen how do you find out that's your thing he took a doggy bag of it home with him Oh, no. He took a doggy bag. Hey, can I get some to go? Like in a Tupperware?

You can keep Tupperware. Don't wash it and bring it back. What do you carry shit home with? By the way, do those people eat their own shit? I don't know. I really don't know. I don't think it's about theirs. It's about other people's.

How do you find out? That's a great question. You end up on shit. what's the okay you end up on shit but what you what's the starting point you know i'm saying like well like it you don't jump to shit you don't go from me and you to you know what shit in my mouth this is the other thing too money doesn't discriminate this guy's actually yeah officially crazy but it loaded loaded with money a white whale they call him or a whale or whatever she says. This guy is hot.

Well, you can't be poor and afford to have people shit in your mouth. That's a rich person. Yeah, that's a rich man's game. That's RPP, man. Rich people's game right there. The struggles we face with our mental health can loom large over our lives, maybe yours, maybe someone you love. You've tried everything or have you.

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rocketmoney.com slash honeydew, rocketmoney.com slash honeydew. Now let's get back to the do. This is a story I want to hear you tell. We're going to talk about this kid, Christian Pugh. Christian Pugh has a story that happened to him in Austin. But before we were recording, you and I were outside talking, and you said you actually had a story very recently happen to you in Austin. I said, you know what? Save it. Let's hear your story, and then we'll hear Christian's story.

Okay, now listen. I know this is going to sound weird coming off of the Reiki lady, but I'm in a hotel room in Austin. Now I land that day and when I tell you, I feel rage, like I've never felt before. I was, you can still kind of see the knuckles. I was driving to my hotel room, just punching the roof of my rental car. Did you get some news or? No. I just felt this crazy fucking rage. Like, like I've never felt before.

It was the car. I'm glad I got insurance on the car. I kicked the fuck. That car was dented all the way around. When I returned it, they were like, what happened to this car and i was like sorry about that dear yeah about 12 of them right i get into the hotel room and all i'm gonna tell you dude is this is gonna sound whatever and it's gonna it made me it makes me question anything that i thought was real before because i'm not this dude man i'm a very grounded guy that's why the reiki thing fucked me up too that's not where my head lives i'm a science and

all that shit i need proof right rage and i'm in my hotel room fucking just sitting on my bed and i don't know why i said this because i just had a feeling that like it felt like something was just Eating inside me And I just said out loud because my beth is into this shit I go. Hey if I If there if I pick something up just get I don't I don't want you If I pick something because she's about energy, you know, I got if I pick something up, I don't want you man And it all I can tell you is that it felt like something

just was holding on. So I said it out loud. If there's something here or whatever, because I'm still not believing it, but the more I start saying it, the more it feels like there's something holding on. When I tell you it felt like I was in a fight for an hour in my hotel room with something.

Dude, I was saying things like, and I had also ordered a pizza, right? Right when I first got in, which was crazy. But I, dude, was pushing down my arm. It felt like I was just trying, and I was flicking, saying, get the fuck out of me. I don't- You're trying to shed your skin? No, it felt like i was just trying and i was flicking saying get the fuck out of me i don't trying to shed your skin no it felt like something was in me like and i was saying things like i don't need you anymore i don't fucking need you anymore and i was pushing and i was

flicking i was like get the fuck out of me dude and i don't know if this was psychosomatic because of what was happening what there was a mirror next to me when i looked at that mirror dude you know those horror movies when it looks like your face changes i'm just telling you what i saw whether it happened or not what i saw a morph and i'm saying things like get the fuck you don't know how crazy it got dude i started screaming i rebuke you like i was in the exorcism or some shit, dude. I was screaming, I rebuke you. And I started to hear, but this was funny. I started to, I heard a pounding. I'm like, I rebuke you, I rebuke you.

And then I just heard, I'll leave the pizza at the door. I was like, all right. But I'm fucking, there were times, dude, where I would feel exhausted and I would lay back and I would almost feel it as I was sinking more. I finally felt like I had whatever it was I had gotten out of me, but I just still didn't feel alone. And I fell asleep. I woke up two hours later, dude, shot up with that same rage inside of me. And I just started screaming again, get the fuck out of me,

dude. I was, when I went like this to try to get my head around what was happening, there were guttural sounds coming out of my mouth. I don't make dude, I don't do voices. I don't know if you've ever heard me do voices on chaos. I don't do voices.

I don't know how to make guttural noises. I don't know how to make guttural noises. I don't know how to make what sounds like a growl. There were noises coming out of me that I just can't fucking explain. And when I, after the second time, when it finally, when I finally felt lighter, it felt like the whole room was lighter, like lighter, like it was finally gone. Now, there have been two explanations for me. One, we meet so many people that, like people who believe in this. Some bullshit jumped on you. We meet so many people that everybody's energy and somebody's energy just took a ride with you, which I don't, look, I do believe in energy.

I don't disagree with that at all. Now, there was another dude who was in the service who was like, you know, military dudes go through, sometimes when you push something down, when you repress a feeling for so long, it can come out in a physical form. And I believe that to be true also. But I know what I've, I know what fucking happened to me. And I'm still in between on what I feel like. But dude, physically, my hands looked bigger. My face changed. That noise. And I still don't know exactly where to put it it's fucked me up a little bit dude because now i told you two days later i called my wife i'm like hey just making sure i called you

right she's like yeah what's going on i'm like i'm just making sure i'm not crazy like i want to make sure that what's happening in my life is actually happening but like because that's not shit that i tend to believe in but but but i know what happened i know who i am i know i wasn't high on mushrooms like none of that shit it whatever it was man was a life-changing eye-opening experience for me like i now am open to so many ideas of things like maybe yeah fucking maybe that's right i don't even know why not yeah fucking maybe but i rebuke you dude was was like that's the only thing i knew to scream i've seen the exorcist you know what i mean like but it was crazy do you anything like like you believe you a ghost dude do you believe in that shit i've had experiences for sure where you know i believe in spirits and souls and all that bullshit yeah i mean i don't believe in casper and you know yeah kind of harps and angels like

the winged but yeah but i believe in whatever that term is, whatever that entity is, I have a version of that that I believe for me for sure. Yeah, dude, it was like – Yeah, that'll make you question everything. Come on, man. I can't wait to hear this story, Josh. Oh, no. This young gentleman's name is Christian Pugh. All right, Christian went to Austin originally for something that he'll tell you about and went out after with his friends partying.

And let's take a listen. So I had a traumatic brain injury. I had, I think, three or four cracked ribs, punctured lungs and a broken wrist. And then, yeah, I I already say dislocated leg? No, you didn't. Okay, well, yeah, then dislocated leg. Is that a dildo? Did he not put his dildo away?

What is that, a giant green Incredible Hulk dildo? What is that over there? Wait. This guy's got bigger problems than it does. Trust me. A dislocated leg that means oh these are his injury yeah out of the socket out of everything now the problem is uh besides all those things yeah let it go ahead and let it play so wait you walk away and then boom you're found no so i was found 65 hours after oh my god so i was in town to wait i'm i'm confused

he walks away from where he's with his friends about to tell you where he what he's in austin for he's just going to tell us right now but but after that event he's out drinking with a group of friends and he gets so wasted he doesn't know if he's drugged he a group of friends and he gets so wasted. He doesn't know if he's drugged. He doesn't know anything, but he wanders away from his group, just wanders aimlessly away. There's a bank that catches the last seconds of him walking away. And then he goes missing for three days. There's a full on search party out looking for this fucking poor kid he's found under the congress street bridge okay but here's the thing he doesn't know that he's in a coma so he's found three days later by this police search party but he doesn't wake up for another month in the hospital but

listen to why he's in austin so I was in town to see Tom Segura. Of all people. Wait. Hold on right now. The whole reason you were in Austin was to see Segura and you go missing for three days. And a month later, I got a ticket to his next show. I'm definitely telling him this.

And it was crazy because like i said earlier they couldn't report me missing for 48 hours so they couldn't even put a notice out or anything like my parents my parents know for a fact like something's wrong right they were like because my parents were supposed to go see sagara with me i swear to god like so at that point i'm like like, I'm fucking calling Tom. Yeah. And I just give it a shot. I FaceTime Tom.

Tom, Christian went to see you in Austin. And after the show, his parents were also supposed to go with him to see you in Austin, Texas. he got drunk and wandered off from his group was found three days later under the congress street bridge he still doesn't know that and he woke up a month later dude he went to see you at concert and was missing for three days found under the congress street bridge still, still blacked out. And one month later, this motherfucker woke up. And he's about to tell me his story right now, Tom. Yo, the Congress Street Bridge, is that the one with the bats? That's the one with the bats. I asked him, did you have cover in bat shit?

He's like, no. Some homeless dude pointed him out to the police. Like, he's over there. Yo! Did they tell, does anybody know how he got there? No, you got to watch the episode.

Oh, you got to tell them. You got to watch the episode. That, yo, so first of all, at this point though, the police don't know if he's thrown off the bridge. They don't know

if he'd been robbed and mugged and tossed. They don't know if he was so fucked up and blacked out he walked right and fell off. They don't know if he was so fucked up and blacked out, he walked right and fell off. They don't know. He doesn't know.

It's a month later before they can get any kind of answers out of him because he's in a coma. I mean. All because he wanted to go see Tom Segura. And, yes, Segura did say, tell him I'll give him free tickets next time he comes. Wait, but his parents have to pay. Yeah, they do, dude.

For real. So he fell off the bridge pre-concert or post? Post. He got to see Tom. He got to see Tom. And then went drinking after it, and then that's what happened to him. Does he have any, after a month in a coma, any permanent anythings? First of all, you heard him say, did I mention the thing?

And I'm like, no, you didn't mention that. Yeah. So when he's talking to Tom on the phone there, Tom goes, what happened? I said, I don't know. He says he doesn't know. Well, later in the episode, he's like, so anyway, and he says, what happened? I go, hold on. You just said you didn't know.

He goes, I did. I go, you just told Tom Segura and me you didn't know what happened, how you ended up there. He's like, oh, no, no, I know how I got there. And I started laughing i'm like dude yeah yeah you definitely have brain damage dude by the way you know the only good thing about brain damage is probably if in your relationship you know what i'm saying you can be like i don't remember doing that i forgot yeah did i say that to you yeah i have no idea all right this next one here is a little fun one uh this is named gentleman's name is jordan collette

uh jordan is a deputy deputy coroner and a funeral director um and this dude has definitely seen some shit um and this particular one that we're about to watch here is one of uh my favorites from his story i'm still blown away by that yo both of those the dead dude and the coma guy yo the body bag shitting and pissing uh we had we had the shitting in the basement bike wreck penis but it is five dollars a month y'all you're in long haul. Sign up for a year. Bike wreck penis sounds like a great name for a band. That is a good one. That is a good one.

I'm going to go see bike wreck penis at Coachella. Bike wreck penis. Well, bike wreck is nothing compared to what Jordan Collette has seen. Let's take a listen and watch this here. A person passed away in a car accident. He was on the interstate. And the story we were told was that he was, I guess, if I remember correctly, changing a tire. I knew you were going to say that. Yep. Got too far out and was hit by a car hauler, one of those 18-wheeler car haulers. Oh, my God. So basically from the waist down, it was bad.

It wasn't good. And so we come out and everything, and we're talking to one of the police officers. And he's telling us what happened. he says, uh, he's telling us what happened, you know, broke down, changed the tire and,

uh, you know, gets out in the road, gets hit by, you know, the car hauler. And we said, how,

how do you know that? How do you know all this? There's nobody else here. And he said, he told us, and he do what he told you. Oh yeah. He was,

uh, he was alive when I got here. We said, well, how long did you talk to him? And he kind of looked up and he went, not very long. That poor son of a bitch. It cut him in half.

Like a cockroach and he stayed alive? And he was alive long enough to get that story out. And then he dropped. Let me ask you a question. If you look down. Cut him in half, bro. You look down and you see no bottom half what's i'm screaming i ain't fucking telling you what happened i just got out the chain

i mean that's all that's all shock and adrenaline doing that and putting you on autopilot there yo but have you seen those dudes i mean have you seen those dudes like with no legs play hockey and shit you know they're just the arms yeah yeah but they're badass but they get their arms are like fucking jack yeah this dude is just uh this dude was just done man he got sawed in half and then while he was completely cut in half he was able to tell the police very quickly what happened to him and then he died because obviously it took a minute for the police to get there he still had his watch do you think he was like come on everybody they get here you got here a minute earlier

yo and where was this the bottom half like did it Was it still in the truck? It was there. It just wasn't there. It wasn't there. It was near him. His legs were near him. And he was like, what's your name? And he reached into his pocket and got his wallet. Take my ID.

Flip the legs over. It's in the back pocket. Flip the legs over. Okay, we're going to move on here. This is another fun one here. Flip the legs over. This kid here, his name's Robbie Ross. Robbie Ross is a good kid here.

Robbie Ross, his mom was a bit of a wild lady, and she had a penchant for dating bad dudes. And she liked this one Hells Angel in particular. So she's dating a legit Hells Angel member named Derek. It's her boyfriend. And Derek likes to occasionally smoke meth and fuck guys. Okay. So he gets kicked out of the Hells Angels.

For which part? Not the meth. Well, that's what I wanted to know. This is the Hells fucking Angels. We know the Altamont stories, the murder, the fucking fights. What do you think you'd have to do to get kicked out of the Hells Angels? Probably fuck another dude. No?

Let's take a listen. What did Derek have to do to get kicked out of the Hells Angels? He did a bunch of meth. And because this was a pattern. He'd get real high on meth and he'd come back sobered up and cry to my mom about like, you know, like, oh, I just I slept with a dude. Oh, I like, you know, I got blown by this guy. I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing.

He's crying about it. Can I tell you, I had a friend of mine you didn't cry when that guy licked your dick with your phone no no no but just to be fair

it was my asshole okay okay okay but but like but like I had a friend of mine who he was like a a Okay, okay. But like, I had a friend of mine who, he was like, a transgender dude blew him.

And I was like, oh. And I was like, do you think you're, and I was just asking, no big deal. I go, do you have like bisexual tendencies? Is that something you're into? And he goes, no, no, no. I'm not gay. He sucked my dick.

And I was like, I think. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, there's a line that still stands out in the movie Pecker with Eddie Furlong. It's a John Waters film. It's shot in Baltimore, and I'm a big fan. And there's a male stripper, and a guy blows him, and they're telling him he's gay. And he's in his Baltimore accent. He's like, I ain't gay.

He blew me. I didn't blow him. Yeah, that's his whole accent. He's like, I ain't gay. He blew me. I didn't blow him. Yeah, that's his whole philosophy. He's like, I didn't do anything gay. Yeah, there's two parts to that equation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, there's you and then there's the gay part.

All right. By the way, whatever you want to do. So, again, it's got to be, you would think, gratuitous to be kicked out of the Hells Angels. Seems like it. The final straw, and obviously the HAs didn't know about that, but what they did unfortunately find out about was that he had a guy with Down syndrome below him. That's their line? He had a guy with Down syndrome below him. Oh. What? That's their line?

That's the line you don't cross, man. That's it for the house angels, man. You want to ride with us. You can't have any Down syndrome, dude. Suck your fucking dick, man. You lose your patches, right? Dude, you know what I imagine? You know what I imagine?

I imagine they're all sitting around like eating sandwiches or something. And they're talking about the fuck would you do this week? I fucking robbed an old lady. Do you know what I mean? They're telling their stories. And this dude thinks he's going to top everybody. Do you know what I mean? They're telling their stories and this dude thinks he's going to top everybody and be like,

I got one for you. And some dude is the same, he's like, what? Didn't you read the bylaws? Derek. Bylaw number eight.

Eight. Yeah. It's eight. Oh, dude. That was it for the fucking day. By the way, I'm not sure that's something i would tell another person ever ever ever oh that's what it takes to get kicked out of that if you ever wanted to know not murder that's their life not murder no. Yeah, just the, wow. Dude.

Yeah. Like, I just need to know. I need to know, honestly. Like, don't you want to know how long he held on to that? He's like, I got to tell somebody. Yeah. And he picked the guy he thought was going to be safe. Like, he picked the craziest. You know what I mean?

He picked the dude. Like, you know, all the other Hells Angels are like, don't fuck with this guy. And even that guy was like, that's fucked up. Okay. He lifted up his eyepatch. He was like, what? All right. So this next guest was Jabbar.

Jabbar had multiple suicide attempts. Basically, he is out to take his own life and he tries one thing it doesn't work he audibles to another thing that doesn't work back to back to back or three different times back to back and then he says oh what am i doing this will work so he's about to tell us what happened well at least we know he's no quitter i hope he's about to tell us what happened. Well, at least we know he's no quitter. I hope he's still with us. I hope he's still with us. I slipped my wrist first. Unfortunately, yeah, it was cold, though.

And I didn't think, oh, yeah, your blood's going to clot very quickly. And it did. You sliced your wrist, and because it was cold, the blood clotted, and so you didn't bleed out. Okay, that's what he does first right now that doesn't work so i'm tapping out by the way i'm tapping out after first of all wrists with an ass i'm testing yeah wrists oh shit so he's like, fuck it.

All right. That didn't work. I'm determined to take my life. This is what happens next. And then you tried to stab yourself in the chest also. Did you get in there? Did you break the chest bone? I broke skin, but no.

I didn't have enough strength left in the wrists. So after slicing his wrists, he doesn't have the strength to take this knife and put it through himself which is now his second attempt he's stabbing himself in the chest and when that doesn't work by the way i'm too much of a pussy i'm with you dude you know i'm saying i could never do that first of all as soon as i see my own blood i might faint but the chest bone this plate is you ain't getting through that easy now he realizes that and he's determined to take his life so this is what happens next by the way he might want to invest in sharper knives you know he clearly did not

he clearly did not think this one. Named ankles. Yeah. I was saying, named ankles. So now are you just going to lay there and bleed out? Or not really? I was thinking, oh, this is going too slow. What's going on? What's happening? Oh, there's train tracks there. Oh, hey, dummy. You can just lay on the train tracks.

So where he is, he's under an overpass. Wrists don't work. Stabbing himself doesn't work. And he figures, oh, shit, there's train tracks here. I'm just going to lay on the train tracks. And he decides to crawl over to the train tracks and lay there so that the train can just fucking cut him in half and kill him. And that's what he does. He crawls over to the tracks and he lays across. I was on my back, head on one rail and then the ankles on the other.

What's the last thing you remember hearing or seeing? Just a honk. Just a honk. That's it, bro. A honk. It's right fucking here. No! No!

Dude, you ready for this? I don't think so. Well, here here's the thing he's clearly not dead he's clearly not dead and he's on the train track but i do see the crutches okay you laid on train tracks to kill yourself and then the train cut your legs off when do you wake up i in january so this was december and january holy shit i'm thinking you're on by the way do you think he's still on the track he's like january wait do you think do you think there's a place where they just put all these dudes lower half bodies do you know the dude who was changing the tire and this dude do you think that we got another lower half it's funny you asked that we'll talk about that later um so what happens is he lays on the tracks to have the train cut his head off and kill him but he laid on the

wrong set of tracks and when this train passes it takes his legs so he now has and his legs end up in cincinnati they're like somewhere when people are calling for who's legs are these delete you got a ticket ticket ticket these legs gonna take it like that oh no dude tried to kill himself laid on the wrong set of tracks and the train takes his legs off from what part of the legs down? Do you know? Let's look. Look? This is robotic. When you say robotic, what do you mean by that? Well, for one, you have to charge them. There's that. Is that right?

You have to charge your phone. You have to charge your legs. You got to charge your legs, bro. Yes. It's like it takes three hours for a full charge. And how much miles? How many miles are you getting on that full charge, bro? Honestly, I don't remember. I i should have listened but i did not can you run extra fast five hours no it's not one of

the blades yet one day dude he lost his legs because he laid on the wrong fucking tracks to kill himself yo i will tell you something five hours can i tell you something it ain't going up he's not good at that like he's whatever well that's also we talk about like he's not good whatever now how do you feel now do you feel like a complete failure even more suicidal because the three times you know what i mean like you say hey these these are real people out there struggling their stories are unlike anything you're hearing. But how does he not die? I don't get it either, right? He wakes up a month later.

This is the second person who we've had on that woke up a month later. We've had people who've died, woke up in a coma months later. We had a guy in the last one I played for you solve an 18-year-old cold case. Like, this show is fucking wild. Can I tell you something? You get one a week, by the way, the fact,

one every week, the fact that this is only $5, but this is a T this is, I've never even bumped it to six. And this is the, my third year doing this. Wait, but until you want to buy a house,

it's $7. But like, this is the, these are the kinds of stories that they make TV shows at. Yeah. Like these are crazy, but you get the raw down dirty. And they're all comfortable talking to me. And I really enjoy sitting and talking to these strangers about the wildest, like we all have our fucked up stories, and we've also taken them and put them and tell them and spin them in a way full of laughter and humor and hyperbole.

And these people are not that. So it's my job to be a good listener to their story and try to, you know, jump in where I can and provide light and levity to this. You're seeing this wild shit. Can I tell you what story would be hard to bring to the stage? blown by down syndrome that's a hard one to be like even the hell's angels don't want to hear that bro you don't have that is not for stage that's a tough one i'm gonna try to make it funny i good luck yeah yeah wow uh all, this one here, we have two to go. How long ago was that? Do you check back in with these people ever?

They do. Some people absolutely follow up. The community on the thread is very active. They all chime in and help each other out. There's people who've been like, man, I'm having a problem with my kid. Hey, I'd be happy to help you. All right. So here's the next one.

We have two left. This is Brad Lutz. Brad Lutz. I'm not going to tell you what happened to Brad Lutz. I'm gonna let brad lutz tell us what happened to brad lutz however i'll set it up brad lutz is on a motorcycle and he's going 130 miles an hour and uh loses control all right and there are pictures that accompany this yes there are i'm looking at the guardrail that i'm coming to, and my lower body's spinning as I'm coming towards it. I wanted to try and slide under the guardrail, but that wasn't happening.

And, of course, the fucking I-beam, man. Of all places to go, I'm coming straight for this I-beam. I remember seeing it coming, and I rolled away from it. When I did, I hit it. It hit me in the hip, about in the hip and my body snaps up. I smash my head off the top of the guardrail. My visor blows off and I bounce off the guardrail back onto the road. And it feels like if this is my upper body and my lower body,

and you're looking up at my head, it feels like my hips are like, my lower body is like not flat on the ground. I need to match my body up with it. Twisted completely sideways. 130 miles sliding. Hits the I-beam of the guardrail. Turns his back to protect himself

the best he can. And let's listen to more. I go to sit up and immediately I can see the puddle of blood spilling out. And I look down at my left foot. And it's laid over and my toes are pointing at my foot. No! I can't.

Wait. So he's like, man, I need some new soles on these shoes. Yeah, bro. And it's looking at him. No. And I don't realize it at this point, but there's a giant gaping hole on my side and my guts are hanging out. So his leg's a J. There's a hole.

The inside is outside. The guard ring where he hit is pouring out yo the inside being outside is a bad not a good not a good look i yo you ever had a hernia because that's you know a hole opens up and i went to the doctor and i didn't know i didn't really i go what is this what is this thing that's sticking out he He goes, that's the insides. I go, what? He goes, that's the insides coming on the outsides. But this too had a hole.

Oh, we're going to see pictures of his insides and outsides for sure here coming up. Eventually the ambulance pulls up and it parks. And when it parks, I looked over at it and two of its tires are in my puddle of blood like I realized that I'm bleeding out so go ahead you can keep letting it go so I lay back and I'm looking at these lights and they're hurting my head and I'm like you know what I'm just going to take them out until I get to the hospital

and the next time I woke up a month later like 35 days later third person with over a month later on this podcast than just this. I just realized that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's another one that woke up a month later. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. So he's about to walk us through his injuries now. Are you ready? So, again, 130 miles an hour, loses control control sliding out of control helmet on bangs his head mask or uh pfizer flies off and uh his legs are completely twisted his feet are facing him and he is bleeding out on the fucking road where was he going at 130 he was out riding just fucking around he's got his friends there here we go he wakes up and this is what he sees what is

that no no no no but that skin right there is the fucking skin off of my stomach right here what skin by the way you don't say it like i don't look at his skin that red that you're seeing is skin that is gone yes that yellow patch there is from his stomach sewed in back there. But they didn't cover up the rest part? That's just the beginning. There's a hole there. They're able to stitch and fix that part. What's that top part that looks like an extra

piece of meat? They were like, put an extra piece of meat on there. Well, I'll tell you what. You're going to get to see exactly what that is. We're going to go in deeper on this diagram here. Can I tell you something? First first of all it kind of looks like a wounded stingray but but it's so you know what's crazy is that it's so it's not even gross because i don't know what you know what i'm saying we're gonna find out going to find out. I'm fascinated by that. That's gross.

What the fuck? On my back. That's the hole where that vertical I-beam hit me that cut halfway through me. All right. So this is picture number two. That's a meat hook they're holding his shit up with right there. The doctor's hand. If you see, that's a meat hook.

Yeah, but right. Yeah, he had friends there and they walked up they walked up and saw it and he said that's when they they were like oh my god he saw their face and he's like what are you talking about i'm not gonna die and that's when he looks over and sees an ambulance parked in his blood and he's like oh fuck i'm i'm gonna die oh but but the hole in his side that wasn't he was like i'm good with this well i i he all right rewind it because he says he says exactly what this is play it again from the top this is me on my back that's the hole where that vertical eye beam hit me that cut halfway through me okay i'm not a doctor but if something comes in it looks like that i'd be like what are you i'm going home.

What do you want me to do with that? Well, what am I supposed to do with this? But, dude, that doesn't even look. Well, let's take a look at the next one. Human. He'll keep. I know. I had to keep being.

There's a bunch of gauze holding the flesh on my right thigh. If you look at my right thigh, it's wrapped in gauze. See it? Just to hold it together. Flap of skin on the ground is what's left of my ass cheeks. The flap of skin on the ground is what's left of his ass cheeks.

Do you lose your asshole in that? It's interesting you ask. Let's see the next picture. Oh, no. There's the you ask. Let's see the next picture. Oh, no. Now listen. So that hole is my taint. You can stick your hand in that. That's my nut sack.

That's his nut sack. Which one? I ripped off a chunk of my nut sack. Five dollars for you. Oh my God. I don't think I ever wanted in my life to hear you could put your fist in my taint.

You know what I'm saying? I ripped off a chunk of my... Chunk sounds so aggressive. That's a ripped taint that know what i ripped off a chunk of my chunk sounds so aggressive that's a ripped taint you could put your fist in bro by the way not for nothing but there's a lot of separation between that dick and those balls i think mine are a little close well you didn't just have a fucking a road fuck your nutsack at 130 miles an hour a guardrail yo so does he have problems shitting oh we're gonna get to all of it here he's got all kinds of problems uh yeah let's take him that we have a couple more pictures to look at let's take a look at number four yo no there's your ball right no i ripped

off a chunk of my nutsack so does that mean a ball falls out i i don't know i really am i asking too many questions no it's a good question i'm not sure if the ball fell out but a chunk of it's gone let's look here's some more for you are you ready no so this is when they're cutting my right leg off oh if you that flap of skin is on the right side my my ass crack, you can see the bone sticking out of my thigh where they chopped it. And now that's the rest of my leg filleted in half long ways. They filleted it in half long ways because they wrapped it around that bone and wrapped it back up my thigh, my calf to the back of my thigh, and put my foot over my ass, over my tailbone. First of all, I was going to have steak tonight. You ain't now, bro. tailbone first of all i was gonna have steak tonight yo but but like again as the doctor are you like what what are we doing dude what how many hours is this yeah i mean

where you want to put his foot put it above his head i don't fucking care like what what now this guy is a bit of a you could tell he's he's a bit of an anti-establishment sort of dude. Yeah, feels like it. And he brought up a great question. He said, hey, what happens, where do my bones go? And he said, you know what, I want them. They're mine. It's my fucking body.

I have a right to it. It's my body. And he said, you can't have them. It's hazardous waste. And he's like, but it's my body. So he asked if he have them it's hazardous waste and he's like but it's my body so he asked if he could have his bones did he text i seen this picture i said where are these at okay that's a crime scene dude are those his feet that's his feet and toes bro that's his whole leg with his foot and toes he's gonna tell you yo but i'm not gonna lie to you that little fit

foot and toe skin thing that makes me laugh a little bit it looks comical doesn't that was his good leg so here's the thing the accident takes one leg and he's got so many problems he's like just take the other one off just get rid of it i it. I'd be more mobile because it's so fucked up. It's just dead weight for him. Yeah. So he makes the conscious decision to take the other leg. So now it's both legs. It's double amputee.

I mean, what other show gives you double fucking amputees? For real. Back to back double amputees. It's $5 a month, y'all. This dude seems like the kind of guy who might taxidermy his legs he wanted them that's what he's saying listen where are these at they're like what do you mean i'm like where are they at i fucking want them they're like no you can't have them it's human waste i'm like they're my fucking bone do you think that's the first time somebody's asked a doctor? No. There's no way he's the first person ever in history to say,

I want my leg. Can I tell you something? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. No. That's his asshole? Damn it. That's his asshole?

Yeah, let's take a look at what he looks like now. That's it. That's his asshole. That's it. That's his asshole. That's his right leg off his hip right there. That's some saying. You see this? It's not pretty. What they were able to do is what they were able to do with that situation.

They couldn't clean that up a little bit? That is cleaned up. But, like, okay. Okay, okay, okay. So, I'm not sure where the asshole we're looking at the back not the front right that's his back yeah so see the elbow that's the giveaway yeah yeah yeah well who knows you gotta look something you recognize by the way is this what it looks like or he has to take a shit and how he like you can see now this is he has no he has a colostomy bag and everything he said he's

he hasn't he doesn't shit or what. He can't. There's no asshole there anymore. Look at it. Does his dick work? I don't know if it works. You can subscribe and find out. Wait.

Yo, that legit, like. What's that, Kirsten? Oh, that's right. And he does have an OnlyF only fans he said people are very into amputee shit yeah this dude's making bang he has an only fans yeah do you happen to know what it is brad lutz yeah i don't know what his only fan is but it's brad lutz y'all scale of one to ten how curious are you just take a peek at that only fans well i would like to see it he i think he

said people ask him to put like i want to say like rub shit on it and you know just weird shit then he said he's got his limit so he's like i ain't doing that that i would i believe by the way this dude who sent you this picture i'm dying to know what his fucking limit is right what is your line i mean is it the hell's angel line? Like, this, this, this? Everyone's got their line. This? That's what's left to his legs, dude. Look at that.

That's a guardrail ripped him in half. All right. Well, let's move on. Are you ready? You want to move on to the next one? I mean. It's a lot. It's our last one.

Number 10. That was crazy. We're going to close out on Mike Frampton again, our death janitor. I mean it's a lot it's our last one number 10 that was crazy we're gonna close out on Mike Frampton again our death janitor he's one of our favorites this is another one of his episodes here

again he's got a Santa hat on he's very he's very festive he really is he went from death to donuts he's got a donut spot

now up in Toronto there and he's got the wildest fucking stories he's the train suicideest fucking stories. He's the train suicide, the guy leaking through the mattress last time I saw him. Oh, that guy. And this is

the one that, this story right here left him traumatized. You hear what I'm saying? This is a guy that does this shit on the regular and isn't phased by any of the stuff he's told us. But what he's about to tell us here, this is the one that fucked with him the most it was a suicide about 40 minutes from here and he he was trying to limit the damage of the shotgun but it was like a 12 gauge shotgun he was

putting buckshot uh through. So like it's not it's going to work, but he sat in his fridge. He took all the shelves out in the garage, like a beer fridge. He took all the shelves out, sat inside the fridge with the door open, and I guess he thought it was going to catch everything.

And then all you'd have to do is flip the fridge out and take him out with the fridge and everybody's happy. It's nice that he's thinking about the people who are coming. Yeah, he's a really nice dude. Right? Yeah. Yeah, but sometimes we don't think things all the way through.

You know what I mean? What it did was it kind of made like a speaker and it blew everything out of the fridge. Oh, fucking no. So, so much for containing the mess oh yeah oh yeah it shot it out yeah let's listen i got to the end and this guy was a hunter which is why he had the guns and um he had that you know that mesh that you put over like a duck blind or whatever he had that sitting up on top of his canoe hanging from rafters in the ceiling or whatever in the garage

and on that was his entire eye socket and eyeball entire eye socket go ahead let it play let it play when he shot himself I guess this big chunk blew apart from the rest of it and landed in a way that it

was watching me the whole time like a security system stuck in the net a ring camera but it's not just the eye A ring camera. But it's not just the eye. It's this whole chunk of face right here that's just staring at him the entire time he's cleaning this body. Yeah, that's going to be the first part.

The eye's body. I got to get that. I got to get the eye down first. That thing, right? Yo. He's going to tell you. Let it play. It was up in the net and it was like the full socket so there's bone around it there was still eye eyebrow on the eyebrow it was this whole part like it had just been taken out and i put a ladder up to go and

see what was if anything had landed in the canoe and i came like this close and made eye contact with it and it winked at him whoa yo yo yo yo does he say anything else or is that it yo yo yo yo yo i would never ever be able to get that out of my fucking brain that's the one he can't i would never be able to get that out of my brain that's That's the one he can't. I would never be able to get that out of my brain. That's the one he sees in his fucking sleep. That's the one. Phantom of the Opera mask? Listen, this guy,

we've heard maybe 10 minutes of his stories. He's had two episodes. There's so much more from this guy alone. And that's the one that gets him. I got to tell you, I'm not sure. See, here's the thing. Remember the dude who leaked through yeah to me that might get me because like like the pictures it's like a

quentin tarantino movie it's so out there that i it doesn't affect me sure right so those were but the dude leaking stuff whatever fuck it like that the way your body breaks down and then it's dripping on you. Oh! By the way, that was the one that got me the most from the last time. Yeah, you said you'd want new skin. Yeah! Fucking fuck! Can we get new skin? Dude, the eye...

Just the right thing. Oh, eyebrow up here. Yo! You climb up and it's just like... Just like looking at you? Oh, eyebrowed up dude. Yo. You climb up and it's just like. Just like looking at you? How do you sell that house? Because you know you don't get all of it. There's no way you get all of it.

No, everybody knows what happened in there. Yeah, what's the discount for that? Man, a 12 gauge. What's the talk down? Like if you're asking if the if the house value is 550 what's the talk what do you what's the discount for the face like you know what i'm saying yeah the trauma it's gonna cost me forever yeah yeah don't go in the garage like what's the when i was in san antonio we were renting a house. We wanted to rent a house. And, you know, they have to disclose stuff. And this house was gorgeous.

And I was cheap as fuck. And I go, I just said out loud, why is it so cheap? And I just heard the agent go, like, they weren't going to tell me unless I asked, right? And she goes, well, somebody killed themselves in the bedroom i was like what i go where she goes go ahead and lift up the throw rug there was blood no blood stains you could see like the blood man fix the floor i was like and they like we scrubbed it we just couldn't get it all out i'm like so you just put a fucking carpet on it bro uh something like a throw rug and she was like yeah she goes but i gotta tell

you what happened because you asked i go but you weren't gonna tell me if i didn't ask she was like well i don't have to i was like okay yo i was still gonna rent it was cheap i was college student i like beer money but my my buddy was like are you out of your fucking mind dude i okay the for me the shitting in the mask one is the one the out of this out of this doggy bag home bro chewed it oh oh i'll never stop i sit down and do this every week i hey i hear these stories i tell friends i'm like you ain't gonna believe the shit i heard today man i tell them like what this is the fucking show listen to me chewing shit this is the best show on patreon it's five bucks a month there's no tears no t-shirts not as bullshit that people aren't giving you anyway this is five dollars a month you get an audio and video option if you sign up for a year you get a whole month

free okay you're getting the honeydew you get that a day early you get it with no ads and you get it at no additional cost can i say yes you you know maybe the audio edition is probably better for some people if you're visually sensitive it might be yo dude let me tell you something for real for you to get these people to be so comfortable to open up to you and to like the beauty of the show is the is the lightness that you interject but it's usually with comics who have no line to cross so for you to still be able to do that with people is such a skill man it's such a fucking skill set thank you it's crazy i really do love my job so listen if you or someone you know out there has a story that has to be heard if you've been dead for 30 days please submit it to honeydewpodcast at gmail.com if you don't have

your original taints then please submit that story to honeydewcasts at gmail.com. Pictures if you have them. You do not need to be a Patreon member. The person doesn't need to be a – we've had other people recommend their friend or relative, and it's been fantastic stories. So that's the Patreon. Subscribe today. Tell everybody you know.

It's five bucks a month, all right? It's a cup of coffee a month, and you're getting these wild fucking stories, four to five of them a month all right it's a cup of coffee a month and uh you're getting these wild fucking stories four to five of them a month it's the best deal i think i've ever heard in my life for real like it's the best deal thank you for coming on and doing this with me dude i always have a great time happy new year to you and your family and to you too and you know always keep me in mind for these you know you're gonna be the guest every time i do i i i i'm looking forward i think i made some faces today that i've never made in my life i can't wait to see him i i yo there were

some things that i'm just having a hard time yeah figuring out yeah i know it's gonna stick with you for a little while yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna rethink that steak um please plug and promote everything that steak plug and promote everything that's steak plug and promote everything you want comedian josh wolf.com is why is for all my tour dates everybody but come out to tempe if there are any tickets left for me and jacob and uh and then uh new zealand australia in january and then the two dates that i know of in february are nashville and salt lake city but go to youtube and check out family Tussle. It would mean a lot to me, man.

It's the best thing I've ever done. So the comments are amazing. And yeah, I love it. Dude, I really appreciate you having me down for this. Of course, man. Thank you for doing it. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media, ryansickler.com.

Have a very safe and happy new year. Talk to you all next week.