The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Kevin "KFC" Clancy - ClancyDew

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

My HoneyDew this week the host of KFC Radio, Kevin Clancy "KFC"! Kevin Highlights the Lowlights of a public divorce and being a single dad. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: Athletic Greens -Get a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase when you go to https://www.AthleticGreens.com/HONEYDEW  Raycon -Get 15% off your Raycon order at https://www.BuyRaycon.com/HONEYDEW  Dad Grass -Get 20% off your first order when you go to https://www.DadGrass.com/HONEYDEW  Betterhelp - Get 10% off your first month at https://www.Betterhelp.com/HONEYDEW 

La Jolla, thank you for another great weekend. It's one of my favorite places to perform, the La Jolla Comedy Store. You guys are awesome. Philadelphia, I'll see you August 18th through the 20th. Austin, Texas, September 2nd through the 3rd. That's Labor Day weekend. Vancouver, finally, September 15th through the 17th. Get your tickets to those shows and all shows on my website at RyanSickler.com.

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pant Studios. I am Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And again, I want to say thank you. Thank you if you've been here. Thank you if you're new here.

I appreciate the support. Please subscribe to the YouTube if you're watching. Hit that subscribe button. It really helps the show. And if you've got to have more, then you've got to check out the Patreon. It's called the Honeydew with y'all. And I'm highlighting the lowlights with y'all. And y'all got the lowest lowlights I've fucking ever heard. All right. It is never a letdown. And it's only five bucks a month. If you sign up for a year, you get over a month free and you're getting the Honeydew a day early

ad free at no extra cost. All right, if you or someone you know has that story that's got to be heard, then you've got to send an email to us at honeydewpodcast at gmail.com. Hopefully we'll get to do an episode together. All right, the Night Pass Nation Tour continues to roll on, and I can't thank you all enough for that. Philly, I will see you all August 18th through the 20th. Austin, that's Labor Day weekend, September 2nd and 3rd.

Vancouver, September 15th through the 17th. And Edmonton, September 29th through October 1st. All right, that's the biz right there. Y'all know what we do over here. We highlight the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I am very excited to have this guest here on the Honeydew. First time here, y'all.

Please welcome Kevin Clancy. Welcome to the Honeydew first time here y'all please welcome kevin clancy welcome to the honeydew sir it is an honor brother i've heard that intro so many times to see it in person is uh it's quite the excitement it's an honor to have you say that i mean i i the way i say the way i see it i wanted to come on this podcast for three main reasons. Number one, I can wear my night pants. I have some next door. I'm a night pants guy. Kirsten, don't forget. We got to give him some night pants.

I got a package coming your way. I got it. I've got to say, it's in the car. I picked it up this morning. It's sitting on my porch. Thank you. We call it indoors clothes. So night pants, soft clothes, indoors clothes, whatever.

Anywhere I can wear these pants, good to go. Two, I got to hear the laugh in person i love it it's gonna be a beautiful thing and three i genuinely think this is the only podcast worth doing man on a real level like there's great shows you say this like you're on nine other ones no but that's what i mean like there's so many good shows so many funny shows people that i i've grown to love and become fans of and i will gladly do their show and we will have a good time always but i think this is the like the realest show in the game where like if you're you know if you're going to talk about some real shit you come here

and do it so uh i mean i the the first eight years of being a podcaster i never listened to any podcasts and i finally started to listen to it when like it when the whole industry blew up with comics and everything. And when I stumbled on this one, it's like you always know you're going to hear some real shit. It's going to be like interesting, deep combo. You can get laughs anywhere. We can all have fun. But this is the real one. So very happy to be here.

Dude, thank you. It's funny you say that because I always was remembered people by some that sort of story about them like some people like that guy drives a trans am i'm like really did you know that guy was in a fucking house fire and pulled nine people out you know what i mean lost his mother that's the shit i always was that got me about someone i don't give a fuck where you live or what you drive or whatever especially now you did what get one, you become one thing known as one thing on the internet, one thing and you're, you know, and that's it. And meanwhile, there's stories on stories on stories on stories, you know? And I've learned so many times there's been guests who I'm like,

on my show, I'm like, you know, okay, I'll do that guest, you know? And they end up being like, I'm like, thank God I didn't pass because it was the best story I've ever heard. Right. The most interesting person I've ever met. You know, it's like, oh, I knew, I thought he was that, that actor from that TV show. Fuck that. We didn't talk about that.

We talked about, you know, his life growing up and, you know, all these things. So everybody's got a story. That's why, you know, the, the Patreon honeydew works. It's like. Oh man. I mean, some of those creatures, bro. Kirsten and I sit here, I'm like, what? They just, God bless the people who tell these stories.

I'm like, I would take all of this shit to my grave. All of it. I would tell one of these stories. And they're selling the world. All of them, man. And before we record, I tell them, hey, just because it's behind a paywall, man, people scream. If you don't want to say it, don't fucking say it.

Because it's going out there. So true, man. That's the cardinal rule of the internet. Please, before we get into whatever we're going to talk about today, plug it all. Yes, sir. We just hit my 10th anniversary of my podcast, KFC Radio. Me and my co-host, John Feidelberg. You'll hear him on here in a couple weeks.

That's on Spotify, iTunes, all that. Mostly, we're doing youtube these days trying to make that switch over to video so subscribe to the kfc radio youtube i'm on instagram kfc barstool that's where i do uh my several times a week video series one minute man just kind of uh you know it's been by far the biggest you know by the way let me throw you some love you are the absolute best at incorporating your fucking ads into those goddamn brands. That is my – I have one talent in this world, and it is getting your promo code out there, bro. Dude, you got it.

Any sponsors out there, you want your promo code, I will get it out there, man. That's my 10,000 hours. I've been talking for so long, I will slip that plug in there. You definitely got that there. So, yeah, that's KFC Barstool on all social media, and KFC Radio is the podcast, so check it out. All right. One thing I've come to love and appreciate about this show

is not something I really intended when I started, but comedy, even what we do, it's an individual sport. It's tennis. It's boxing. It's not football. It's not we're all. It's tennis. It's boxing.

It's not football. It's not – and what a – I'll see you maybe at a festival or in town for a minute and some drinks, and I'm getting the best of you. Yep. But what a – I've come to appreciate what a way to really get to know the people I've been – just if you take away what we do, coworkers with all these years. And I'm like, damn, you went through that while we were doing that right you know holy shit i didn't know that you know dude that's that's been uh that's what my job has been i i for for really no not on purpose i when i started out at barstool i was just like i'm gonna tell the people who i am and what I am and what I do and there are definitely times I wish I didn't do that like you can't

put the toothpaste back in the tube bro once everyone knows who you are and who your family is and who your kids are and all that shit you know they want it all the time and I'm like shit you know there's a lot of people at my company and Barstool and this business who keep you know some things private and I didn't do that cause I was like I'm just, shit, you know, there's a lot of people at my company and Barstool and this business would keep, you know, some things private.

And I didn't do that because I was like, I'm just going to be real, you know. And I knew like I started out as an accountant. I never had the idea to be anything. I don't know you beyond what I see online. So talk to me about you. So the quick version, I'm a New York guy through and through, born in the the Bronx lived outside of Philly for a little bit but other than that my whole life in New York

went to Fordham for school you have brothers and sisters older brother younger sister so middle child Bronx kid went to school got my MBA

parents together yes hate each other's guts in front of you but yeah but you know still love each other and together to this day

oh they are yeah in a in a in an apartment that is probably the size of this fucking studio and my dad bro that's how you hate dude i told the story the other day let's just keep it closer for when i hate each other i told a story about my dad the other day uh when i bring my kids to their house we sleep over my dad my dad goes to bed at like seven o'clock to get the fuck away from my mom. He wakes up at like 3 then, and I just caught him. He was just sitting in a room like this size in the apartment, just sitting,

just waiting for everyone else to wake up. Just like nothing. Maybe looking at his phone every now and then, but just like, ah. I was like, that. That's it right there, you know? I get it now. I get it right there. You know? So, so now I get it. Right.

So Fordham get my MBA, going to go do this finance thing. All my friends are doing finance, trying to make some money in New York. I ended up being an accountant at Deloitte right as the recession hit. Like I graduate in 07, 08 when the housing market and everything collapses, everything that the, the reason why the economy collapsed is like the work that I'm doing. So I fall like ass backwards into this job and then like the next day I'm

on CNBC. They're like collateralized debt obligations are like the cause of and I was like, oh fuck. I just spent four years on it. So somehow make it through a couple rounds of fucking layoffs. it was brutal i was like i'm like looking at these in these investments that are like the root of all evil for our country

and i'm fucking them up and i'm realizing why this is happening i'm like yeah this is all crazy yeah like this is none of this is going through school are you watching this and learning this like wait this shit's not really adding up here barely like i am by no means like some financial you know i don't know what's going on but anybody could have looked at this and been like this money she's you know supposed to be going here here and here and it's only going here because of this i'm a solid c math student my whole career all right i got a 3.0 every year for two reasons after 16 my dad's dead so i'm on my own drivers are insurance everything and if you got a 3.0 state farm gave you a discount good student discount and i was a b student all right but i would get c's in math

and the only the only thing that canceled the c out was an A. So I made sure my ass was in several gym classes to cancel these motherfucking Cs. You know what I mean? I was like, I'll do all the push-ups. So then, boom, I would get a 3.0, and I would get my discount on my state farm. By the way, your whole upbringing is, or lack thereof, to be honest, doing it yourself with your brother it is on and the way the story

is like the the humor you find in it is fucking so admirable man some of the tales that are not funny but so so fucking funny if that's the name of the game that's why that's why the show means so much to me when i when i watch it but as a as a shitty math student i knew right that something's wrong like this yeah i had a buddy he's like, if you have $10,000 cash right now, I'm like, that just doesn't sound right, man. Everyone's got a house? Everyone has a house? Two? Three? What?

And I remember one time, so we would do this, you know, a lot of accountants go to a site, and I didn't do that. I sat at the same desk every day. It was truly like office space, put a bullet in your head, and I we would when we finished the work it was it was old school it was in manila envelopes written shit out you know and i would like give that to somebody right and one day i walked into a fucking closet like a like a office door that usually is locked and it was just all

of the files and i was like what do we do it was like they were just blasting them off into nothing you know what i mean it's like we finished the work and they just like stash it away you know and i was like what is going on here and then when i ended up so so that i'm doing that and like i said i'm bad at it i'm miserable at it and right and i'm reading barstool as a way to just pass the time. And right as that's happening, oh, so I'm reading Barstool. I'm miserable. I start my own website for fun, just as like a creative outlet because I'm so miserable at work. And it's very similar to Barstool. It's a little bit more like nostalgia, what we did as an 80s baby and a 90s kid,

but a lot of the same humor as Barstool. Right as I'm doing that, Dave puts up a post on his site saying, I'm looking to expand into new cities and i want a new york writer first so i i emailed him i send him my site i was like no man i got a good job it pays well benefits all that shit i am good man and my friends were like i don't know at this point friends of friends of friends had started to read my website so it's still small but i'm getting people reaching out to me being like this is pretty funny man and like i know you through this guy and so i'm getting a little bit of confidence. I send it to Dave and he's like, I've actually already seen this.

Somebody sent this to me. So I was like, oh shit. So he narrows it down to me and one other guy. And at this point, Barstool is not what it is today. It's a risk, you know? And I'm like, I got this money and this good job. And he comes back and he says, I can't decide between you two.

How about you split the job, split the writing and you can split the money and keep your old job. And I'm like, boom, perfect. So now I can do both. I'm making a little extra money. And for two years, I did both jobs. Nobody at my accounting firm knew that I was a blogger. None of the blog readers knew that I was an accountant.

So I was kind of doing this double life thing. Eventually Barstool grows big enough. I grow to the point that I'm getting fired. They were like, why don't we talk about transferring you to another department? Because, you know, things are not working out. And I was like, I'm good, man. I'm good. I'm trying to get fired because I want a severance package.

I want to keep my Cobra benefits. And they're not getting it, bro. I need that Cobra, man. That's what people, yeah. Dude, I've had a bunch of surgeries and shit. I needed Cobra. I'm whispering to people like, I need that cobra man that's what people yeah dude i've had a bunch of surgeries and shit i needed people like i need that i gotta eat that cobra dog it's like half price man yo it really is but i mean i've had i i've had three shoulder surgeries two back surgeries and neck surgery i can't not have insurance i'm not one of those guys and i asked dave about

insurance and he's like yeah okay bud yeah sure bud. Yeah. Sure thing, pal. Insurance. It's called be careful, you know? So I eventually like get fired. Do Barstool full time. And that's when we started in New York. And then from there it was Domino's. We started Philly. We started Chicago. We started a college one.

It grows big enough. We get some investment. Everybody moves to New York and everything, you know, just continues to blow up from there. But it was 2012 was when I started the podcast because it was all writing in the beginning, just blogging. At heart, at my heart, I'm a writer. Like I think to this day, I'm very self-deprecating, rarely talk about myself in a good way. I'm always just clowning myself. But I think to this day, at my prime in the best years of the blog, I don't think there's anybody who could touch me blogging. We were churning them out every 30 minutes. Topics, headlines, pictures, quick jokes, paragraphs of writing, personal stuff,

topics, current events, all of it, man. And we were just churning out as much writing as possible. And I mean, all of us, it was like everybody everybody had their fastball, man. It was, it was like baseball in the steroid era. Just everybody hitting bombs, you know? But I was like, there's got, you know, I gotta, I also at the same time recognize that like, there are, there are, there are funnier people than me. Like all these people now in the game now, the comics who are trained and, and, and practice and, you know, and I'm just like a dude who I'm just a straight shooter. Like I'm just talking about my life. What works for me is that I just kind of tell it like it is. And there's a lot of people out there who go, I agree, you know, and I'm just like a dude who I'm just a straight shooter. Like I'm just talking about my life. What works for me is that I just kind of tell it like it is. And there's a lot of people out there who go, I agree, you know, and I'm lucky that that's the case, but it's not technically, I don't think I'm talented.

You know what I mean? I think I just kind of tell it like it is. And hopefully there's a lot of people out there who agree with me. So I was like, I got to keep ahead of, you know, whatever's next. So that's why we started the podcast. So, you know, we were right about that one place, a good bet early. And so we've got, you know, 10 years of the podcast under our belt trying to do the same thing on Instagram now and keep up with the videos. It was like,

you know, people knew me as a writer. We started to do the podcast and some people liked it, but a lot of people were like, Oh, I like you better as a writer. I don't like your voice. I don't like your style or whatever. Then you do video people like, I don't like your face. You got a punchable face. I don't, I hate you you so every time you do a new medium you kind of you know you you go out on a limb and you risk yourself so um you know but i was like i gotta keep it moving or you just get eaten up you know what i mean you get eaten alive with whoever's coming right behind you with all the new shit new apps new new mediums all that stuff so yeah i mean i quickly you know kind of fell in love and then almost became like obsessed and addicted with the content game.

It was just it's been 24-7 for fucking 15 years since 2009. Just never stopped. Daily content has to happen now. Daily. It is. You used to be able to release a special every three years and be George Carlin's level. You know, those guys were doing that. Right.

Right. Now it's every fucking day. It's crazy, man. It's every day. And it's interesting to me because also I don't know that if I saw something from Carlin or Pryor or something, Eddie Murphy, every fucking day. Everybody misses, man. Yeah.

I don't know that I would like every goddamn thing. No, man. It's almost like comparing old NBA to new NBA where it's like some of these guys would get eaten for lunch with some of the talent out there. Because even when we used to blog, I would find a story in the news and I'd be like, I'm gonna take my time with that one. I'll publish that on like Friday. Now it's like, you better get that up in the next 15 minutes because someone else is going to have, you know, written that or talked about it already. I've already pushed your shit down. Like, there's that.

There's that. Absolutely, man. And it's, I mean i on one hand i love it on the other hand it's like get me out of this you know it's like it's funny i did it to get out of the rat race and i just entered another rat race you know and one that's much more public and much more you know much harsher and people haters and criticizing and you know judging and all that shit so it's part it's what i love but it's also sometimes i'm like i want a goodwill hunting this shit and just disappear man i get it one day i'm just gone well one of the things i that that you and i communicated about before that you also love is being a dad and i love that yeah man um but you're a single dad as well single dad divorced dad two

kids talk to me about that so how old were you when how old are your kids uh six and uh just turned five so you 31 when you had your kids okay just about that um and six and five so pretty quick pretty quick well she's like she's turning almost irish twins type shit um which was a surprise like uh oh really i uh we i got married when i was like 30 we had some reason to believe that maybe we're gonna be able to have kids which turned out to be very untrue because uh we got married in october and it was like i mean at this point i had already started i was putting some money away for adoption and ivf and stuff because i thought that was the road we're going to eventually have to go down. I'm thinking to myself, all right, we're going to try for a while.

I'm going to get it in for a little bit, have some fun. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, you know, we're preparing. One and done. Really? For baby number one. Go for you, dude. One and done for baby number two.

Damn. Just hitting walk-offs, bro. I mean, it was like and and when and when you are not expecting that when you're thinking all right i'm 30 31 now i'll be we'll be trying for a couple years maybe have some kids when i'm 35 and then all of a sudden it's like no you're having one right now and then it was like well let's get the let's just do it all at once and get the bad years out of the way and it's one and done again i was like oh we just went into hyperdrive man we just you know we just took the next well my 10-year plan was going to be we're not doing in fucking 18 months so that was a trip uh but

they're unbelievable they are you know they are uh i i tried i started a podcast called pod fathers as well i don't do it any longer um but i wanted to be like, I'm going to be the honest parent on the internet because there isn't one. There's not one fucking honest person in this world when it comes to that shit. And I read all the books when we were getting ready. And there's ones that are like, dude, you're going to be a parent, like how to be a dad by a dad. And I read it and I was like, this is so fucking phony, you know? So I started the podcast being like, this is scary. This is hard. This shit sucks.

It's rewarding, but it's not fun and all that. So I try to keep it very real about talking about the kids on the internet because it's like, I hate how much people are like, no, no, no. This is my perfect life and my perfect kids and everything's fine. And you know behind the fucking closed doors. That's exactly why I started this. We're all doing our version of SportsCenter out there on social media. It's all highlights. And the thing I used to love at the baseball games,

and I'd go at my dad and shit, was the bloopers. I loved watching those guys that you looked up to. That guy never makes a mistake, and all of a sudden, this one's bouncing off his fucking face and shit. That's why I think people like podcasting too, because you don't hear the polished jokes and the rehearsed lines and all that. You get to see what they're really like. Athletic Greens is the health and wellness company that makes comprehensive daily nutrition really simple. With so many stressors in life, it's difficult to maintain effective nutritional habits and give our bodies the nutrients it needs to thrive. You know

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I just had to have a conversation with my daughter, and I was like, fuck it, I'm going to talk to her like she's 15. Yeah. I'm going to do is or isn't but i'll tell you what i just had to have a conversation with my daughter and i was like fuck it i'm gonna talk to her like she's keep it real 15 yeah i'm gonna do it so a friend of ours unfortunately his daughter um died from a fentanyl a bad you know hot shot and he came to visit us in ocean city when we were back i took her there and um i asked him you know how are you doing and you know we're talking I'm not hiding it in front of my daughter. She can see his sadness, and he's like, I'm good, you know. And so later she's like, what happened? And I was like, his daughter passed away. And she's like, how?

And I'm like, whew. And I'm like, all right, you know, I do, again, I'm not good at math, but I do quick math. She's seven. I've had people come on here talking about doing drugs at 11, 12. And this fentanyl shit's everywhere. And so I i told her i told her exactly what holy moly this poison was yeah and that even though she wasn't a bad person sometimes good people make bad choices and those choices how'd that go ken and she was like and so then i led it into me smoking marijuana i told you really i told her

i said i said so then we started talking about everything smoking marijuana. Really? I told her. I said, so then we started talking about everything. We talked about fentanyl and this poison. Seven years old. Wow. She also has, our neighbors smoke cigarettes. And she'll ask me about cigarettes. And then she'll ask me about, you know, she sees the billboards, cannabis, all that.

So I was like, we were driving from ocean city to philly and i was like we got two hours yeah let's do it we're gonna have a conversation because god forbid right some kid two years from now gets a pill from their older brother and it's a fucking dirty perk or whatever and then my kid takes it and kills her and i didn't never you know i also panic about that like um i had kim congan on uh the podcast and she said you know up until a couple years ago i was taking a fucking bagel out of a toaster with a fork and she's like someone never my parents never told you and then you start worrying about what did i not i'm in the electricity nowhere near water we're over it. We've covered that. So I'm like, you know what?

Fuck it. I'm going to tell you. Isn't that – I mean, there's just so much. And I tell her that marijuana is medicine. My doctor's the one who prescribed it to me, which is all true. He knows what I do. I go get chest X-rays. Right.

But don't ever smoke tobacco. Right. Don't – you know what I mean? Right, right, right. So I'm trying to tell her because, God forbid, something happens to me and my kid's over there fucking smoking PCP and shit, you know? So you get to Philly and she's rolling the blunt. She's just breaking it up, licking it, twisting it up. Put that filter on it, girl. That doesn't smoke backwards.

Come on. We're doing those pre-rolls. Come on, girl. I don't know if that's – I don't know if fentanyl at seven's right, i i don't know if that's i don't know if fentanyl at seven's right but i don't know if it's wrong either so i was like god forbid here's what i can say with certainty maybe there was a playbook back i don't think there was ever a real playbook but maybe back in the day when shit was cookie cutter and pleasantville white picket fences and americana and all that shit with the internet and how fast the world

moves and how fucking everybody knows everything now like you know i don't think parents were teaching those lessons because they didn't know because you don't also back then no one knew a kid that died from fentanyl right right you know some new shit and if somebody if a kid did die from that the parents told the story and kept it quiet. And because there's no social media and no gossip, you didn't know. So the parents don't even know the stories. Now we know about sex trafficking and drug trafficking and Epstein this. It's like, so who the fuck is prepared to tell any of these? I'm sure there are more

qualified people but are they really it's like to these have these doctors gone through all this shit too because now you know everybody experiences everything in the world and there's a lot of fucked up stuff there's a lot and i go back and forth between like i i think it's admirable to talk that young but i'm also like or is the job keep them in that bubble as long as you can because there's plenty of life to worry about all this shit. But yeah, the questions are rolling in, man. And it's like, I'll tell you, I would, I wanted to do that. Yeah. But that fentanyl fucking scared, popped our personal bubble. You know what I mean? It's a really good friend of mine sitting there with his daughter, you know, talking about his daughter. It's one of those,

you never think it's going to happen to you. It can happen to absolutely anybody. So then your kid's asking you what happened? Then I'm like, oh, you know, she knows she died. Dude, you know what drives me nuts? So my daughter, Shay, is in kindergarten this year. And it's around Easter time. She's in Catholic school. And she comes home and she goes, why did they nail Jesus to a cross? That's what I'm talking about.

That's way worse. That's way worse. I'm sitting here. I'm like,'m talking about. That's way worse. That's way worse. I'm sitting here. I'm like, she's six. That's way worse. Can we just talk about like do unto others as you do to them? Can we just hit the command? All right.

How about the 10 of those first? And so I go to her. I go. And she's very smart, man. I know everyone says their kids are smart, but she's annoyingly smart. We're like, you can't even get shit past her anymore. She texts me at six now. She's annoyingly smart. We're like, you can't even get shit past her anymore. She texts me at six now. She's, you know, so I say to her,

I was like, that was, you know, that was just a joke. He was just hanging on that. They didn't do that for real. And she goes, okay. And she kind of looks around and she goes back. She goes, but they told me, they nailed him to the cross.

And I was like, what? Do we need to do this at six? You mother fucker. Cross him and went through both of them. And then did like, what? Do we need to do this at six? You mother... Crossed him and went through both of them. And then, did you know he died from asphyxiation, actually? Did you know that's the real way

you die from crucifixion, daddy? Like, motherfucker. Can we please just not do this yet? That drove me nuts. And you know what else drove me nuts? I did a couple things.

One of the main things I want to tell people to be ready for when you have kids, at least if you're living in the suburbs and you've got some means and some money. I got hit with the tuition word when they were two years old. I did not know that you pay tuition. I thought tuition was college, maybe boarding school.

Or private school. They were two years old going to school two days for two hours the twos program glorified babysitting the twos and then you do the threes and then you do the fours and then you do pre-k there's four years before fucking kindergarten now i paid fifteen thousand dollars last year for fucking glorified babysitting. And I did not know that, man. I was like, whoa, whoa. I factored in a lot of costs.

I did not factor in tuition. I don't remember going to anything but right into kindergarten. I was going to say maybe there was a half day sort of pre-K. Where you had snack time and nap time. There was no from two to three. None of that at all. I mean, it's, you know, I'll do whatever for my kids. They're reading and writing probably way before we did and all that shit.

Yeah, they are. But also, it's like, tuition? Yeah. $10,000 for this shit? And they also come home asking me about crucifixions? You should pay me. Yeah, right? I'm not teaching them this shit know what's the two two two

without the christ plan in it how y'all got that keep the jesus out of it is there a bronze package can i get the entry level please shit man this is brutal um but they are like everything for me so can i ask you about because i know splitting with – and wanting – just knowing – here's what's the truth. More than not being with my daughter's mother, like not being able to have my daughter every day, it almost killed me for real. It is. It's physical. I'll probably start crying. Kidney stones.

I told myself I wasn't going to cry on the honeydew. I said not the first time. I'll cry on the second time. I'm not – I'll do a Jeremiah. I'll cry on crying. Kidney stones. I told myself I wasn't going to cry on the honeydew. I said, not the first time. I'll cry on the second time. I'll do a Jeremiah. I'll cry on the second one. He cried on all of them. Was it? Yeah.

Kidney stones I had. I had blood clots. I mean, massive health at 42 when that happened. And I know it was a direct result of the stress and the anxiety. I mean, I would put myself through mental torture like oh my god every every person's gonna come over there at all every night dude a long time i mean you know i'm going on five years four or five years now man yeah of of being split and like and we split when they were early because it how old uh she was two and Keegan was just born, really.

Seven months. So, like, you know, things, as I was describing, you know, the kids were a bit of a surprise. Barstool was taken off in a way that I don't think either of us ever expected it to. Probably just had some issues, you know, that we should have been addressing rather than, I mean, I'm Irish Catholic. She's Irish Catholic. I think a lot of us was just pushing all your feelings and emotions down and didn't address some things. I fuck up.

She finds out. It goes public. It's a whole fucking to-do. I mean, a level that I never even could begin to imagine. Daily Mail, New York post page six people magazine, people like paparazzi outside the office. It's like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. And then like,

you know, I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ. I can't, it was kind of right when the me too shit was going on. So I think it was like salacious. And, and,

and here's the thing, man, doesn't it trip you out for a second though? Like all the divorces in the world, like what the fuck is my doing? Well, here's the thing, man. Doesn't it trip you out for a second though? Like all the divorces in the world, like why, what the fuck is my doing? Well, I think like barstool is this lightning rod in the media,

you know, and the me too shit was popping. And, um, and I am very public with my life. And part of the times I was happy and I'm posting about my kids and there are happy moments and I'm, and it's the highlights.

I'm not posting the low lights, you know? So people are surprised. They think I'm a liar. I got to go through highlights. I'm not posting the lowlights, you know? So people are surprised. They think I'm a liar. I got to go through that. What we do is I'm busting balls a lot. I'm making fun of a lot of people. You know, what I have learned in this game is like,

I'll clown on you, but I'm not actually judging you because now I've learned, you know, I talked a lot of shit about people who cheated and got caught and this and that. And now I'm like, well, I never realized, you know, how these situations unfold. And now I learned like, you, I never realized, you know, how these situations unfold. And now I learned, like, you know, like shut the fuck up, young man. You don't know what you're talking about yet, you know?

So that all goes down. And I never, because I never wanted to do any of this shit. Like I'm solo dolo, man. I don't have an agent. I don't have a manager. I don't have representation, PR, none of that. So this goes down and it's way bigger than I ever expected. I go to Dave and my boss, Erica, and I'm like, what do I do here?

I remember they got me a meeting with like a big PR firm because I was like, what do I do? And they recommended that me and my now ex-wife put out a joint statement together, same written statement posted on your Instagrams, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, again, I'm not fucking Brad and Angelina. I'm just the dude from the internet. Like, I'm an internet nerd, man. We don't do this. P.S. She ain't writing the same shit as me and posting it.

You know what I mean? Yeah, right. We are not celebrities that have shit to, like, salvage. She ain't writing the same shit as me and posting. You know what I mean? Yeah, right. We are not celebrities that have shit to like salvage. She went, scored stars. She didn't give a fuck. You know what I mean? So like that wasn't going to work. So I realized I was on my own to go through that.

So I'm dealing with that. And I kind of realized once the level that it blew up at work with my fans and my haters and people who like me and don't like me and how much shit. I mean, to this day, every single day is a beating on the internet for me. I say anything and it's like, oh, weren't you that guy that did that thing? So I'm still dealing with the PR of all that. And I knew I was like, if we were going to salvage it, there's going to have to be a lot of apologizing and changes and taking blame and fault and all that shit and i was like this is it's not gonna you know with everything that's blowing up it's not

gonna happen so i'm dealing with that while and i also said the last thing i want to do is try and string it along and we end up getting divorced when they are 11 and 9 and that's the worst fucking time in the world to do it so let's just do it now and unfortunately it's all the love known the relationship they're going to watch in front of them for that next 9 11 years is not going to be a healthy i go back and forth you think so i'm like i go back and forth between you know yeah of course if you're like in a truly abusive relationship of course you know no one wants to see that but if we were going to be like adults and and just kind of keep it behind closed doors and mommy and daddy put on a front and you get to see both of them all the time i every every day of my life probably until i'm dead i will i will juggle that

in my head like should i have done that but i know if we went through a divorce at a later age it would have been brutal so i'll say this and i struggle with that too, but I do feel like the 100% of me that my daughter gets 50% of the time is a better version of the 100% of me she would have got 100% of the time in that relationship. Not if I had her every day. That I wholeheartedly agree with. And I beat myself up to death, man. If I don't see them, I get them on Thursdays. We do a little different. I don't do that Wednesday and every other shit because that's a long fucking time, you know?

Yes. And God bless you if you do. You're 50-50 though, right? Yeah, 50. But I have them on Thursday nights and Saturday nights. And then Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I'll like pop over and take them to a school or whatever. So I'm seeing them like every other day. It's, even that drives me crazy.

You know, right now we're in LA. I got a wedding this weekend and I'm going to see other day. Even that drives me crazy. Right now, we're in LA. I got a wedding this weekend, and I'm going to see them once this week, and I'm fucking bugging because I'm trying to FaceTime and everything. Thank God for that, too. For real. I don't know what it would be like back in the day. You divorce, and you lose your kids. You're like, I'll go start another one.

I'll try again. Let me see if I can pick this phone up here and call somebody who's got another one of these hanging on their wall and hopefully somebody's in the house to pick it up and talk to me right and then they'll have an hour to you know just sit there and talk yeah i mean thank god technology is the devil but it's made some things better too right it has so it's made being a single parent uh infinitely yeah it's been better she pops on the, and we have this little thing now. If I see a purple heart come through from her mom's number, I know that it's her. And I send – we have these little things.

And the questions are starting. I am dreading the day that they can read the internet and read what happened and have questions about why that happened. I have no idea. I'll be like, can we talk about fentanyl instead? Go talk to Ryan about that. Don't worry about mom and dad. Let me tell you about overdosing on the fentanyl. That's an easier conversation for daddy to have right now. All right. So talk to me about, you're actually splitting. Where do you, how far do you move? Right next door, man. So like we lived in the same house for like another eight months trying to sell it of course at the worst time in the market i'm convinced that i'm on the truman show sometimes bad shit just keeps happening to me and it's

little things like it's a heat wave in new york and her air conditioner broke and i had to fix the air conditioner and if it wasn't that it was the heater in the winter and if it's not that there's hornets in the backyard and just always like what the fuck and when i'm And when I'm learning, I, you know, maybe it's that main character syndrome where I'm like, everything's always happening to me. And when I realized it's just like, everybody, it's always happening to everybody. Life fucking stinks. And everyone was dealing with some shit, but it really does feel like overdrive for me. Every time I go away, that's when something happens and I need to be home and I'm getting shit for not being, you know, it's all of that. So we So we lived in the same house for a little while, sell the house at, you know, losing,

taking a bath on it. And then I just moved one town next door. They got an apartment. I got an apartment. Now I got them set up in a house. So they're in like a, in the, you know, nice neighborhood for a house that can be in for years and years. And I'm right next door.

So. That's great. Yeah. I can just kind of pop over and work in progress. It's always – I'll be as cordial and cool and as happy as she wants to be. What were your biggest fears being away from your kids every day? I guess it's like – I feel a very – know that irish catholic guilt type shit where it's like i this is what i should be doing you know i and a lot of my friends none of my friends

really divorced like i'm kind of the only one you know as much as as much as it's 50 of everyone's getting divorced it's like you know that's factoring in a lot of people from a lot of different economic backgrounds and different places in the country. My crew, my neighborhoods, my people, they either are happy or they stick it out, you know? And so I was kind of alone on that front. And so it was embarrassing, you know? I mean, the tabloid shit was mortifying. And to this day, I still want to fucking kill every,

you know, every troll on the internet. I'm just like, you know, and I could say my piece, but I'm never gonna. And, you know, there's, there's so many layers to that, but that feeling of like this, you know, you're not doing your job now you're not there. And, and still to this day, when there's a problem that I feel like I should be helping with or a milestone that I'm missing, but then I go back and then I'm like, I also know people who are happily married, who see their kids less than I do. Lawyers and doctors and people who travel, who just live a lifestyle where they're like, I'm okay seeing my kids once every, you know, a couple of weeks or whatever.

Yeah, fuck that. And I'm like, yeah, it's their own. I've got my whole tour around the weekends. I don't have my daughter, you know. I mean, it sucks. I feel bad for my team because, you know, we could probably be bigger and better and more lucrative than we are. But I'm like, you know, no Thursday nights.

Like I'm trying to, I'll do, I'll do one weekend a month. Like I'll go away. Yeah. Childhood. Right. Like I'm not, I'm not, you know, we could be on tour bouncing all across the world that I'm, I'm just like, I'm not doing it, man. And it's not even, it's, it's, it's like selfish, but it's also like like i will not be good at this job if i am sitting here like i want to be kids don't

want my kids don't want me you know so a lot of it was guilt i never really thought like i knew they're in good hands their mom is amazing uh we have grandparents around and and i'm an amazing nanny fell from the fucking clouds mary off the boat irish you know been nannying her whole life yeah so like being raised by this you know woman, woman with this amazing brogue, like she's part of our family. So like, I wasn't like, they need me, but they need me, you know, and I want to be there. And where's that come from? Where's the, the want to be a good dad come from?

Is your, was your dad? Probably my dad. Yeah. I mean, my dad's awesome. My dad is my dad. You're close with your dad. Yeah. I'm actually, my mom is, is like the one my dad's awesome my dad is close yeah i'm actually my mom

is is like the one you know my personality takes after uh i realized later in life that's where my humor comes from she's a diehard mets fan and she poisoned me with that life and so i'm always watching games with her and yelling and we're talking shit and all that stuff so that's i'm probably you know she's she's we're very matriarchal family. You know, she kind of runs the show. And my dad is just a, like, he's just a chill dude who is just always, like, paid the bills, did the work. What's the work? What did he do? He did property management in New York City.

So he came from, like, the sticks of Pennsylvania out by, like, Erie, Pennsylvania, Meadville. He called it a pencil talkie. And he just, you know, rolled to New York, I think solo. Ended it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called it Pennsylvania. He called get to go up in it all the time when you was a kid? Dude, the extra level. Oh, yeah. Where everyone can go and then you can go. Yeah, you can go up the next one where you're like,

okay, cool, let's get, we're good. I've seen it. All right, all right. Let me down. Hurry up. Get down the ladder.

Hurry up. My brother proposed up there. Did he really? Yeah. That's cool. Yeah, he set that up. That was cool. That was like the,

you know, the big moment for, he was, he worked for the durst family you know the the jinx on hbo fritz the yeah but yeah so right yeah so he was working for them before any of that came out and i remember him coming home and being like my boss's brother is like you guys would be this guy's crazy and we were like all right cool whatever him that was robert durst yeah so then when that series came out, he was like, I saw all of that, man.

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Someone recognized him somehow, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because he was wearing – he had multiple aliases and all that. Yeah, he stole a candy bar or something like that. It was like petty theft and that like unraveled it all. And then they did the documentary with him and he accidentally admitted it like on the air oh is that the one where he's on there because i can't i did it all i killed them all what do you yeah when he's taking a piss or something forgot his mic was on yeah wild crazy although i i don't even like to tell people this

but i did read that that was a little bit of like movie magic like he said that but not the timeline wasn't exactly the same i see but they did catch him like those documentary those documentarians like caught him with that shit it's wild but he so he worked for them and then the empire state building he had highs and lows in his career so i kind of learned like you know never rest on your laurels and you know keep working my brother was following in line doing that shit and i was probably gonna you know have something to do in that realm and i felt like i remember i kind of keep working. My brother was following in line doing that shit. And I was probably going to, you know, have something to do in that realm. And I felt like I remember I kind of like, not that it was the family business, but when I went to do this stuff, I remember thinking like,

oh, I don't know if my dad would be upset or whatever. My brother ends up coming to work for me. Oh yeah. So he, he was the one who got me into the podcast. He was, he's a tech nerd. He's always like, you gotta be on this app. Yeah. Like he, he was the producer side of me into the podcast he was he's a tech nerd he's always like you got to be on this other side yeah like he he was the producer side of my of my show he's the one who makes one minute man every day he's the one who started the podcast with me he's like he was telling me to be on tiktok when it was musically and all that shit so he's always like next what's that whatever's next but i remember him he he you know my dad got on some jobs and some some legs up in that industry and when my brother went to to tell him that he was quitting to come to do my shit full time, he was nervous about it. And my dad was like, are you fucking kidding me?

Go. Run, man. That sounds awesome. So always had very, very supportive parents. And through the divorce and all that as well. I remember thinking I was like such an embarrassment and, you know, a disgrace and, you know. Why? Why do you feel that? Well, again, because like no one in our family got divorced. Certainly nobody had any cheating

scandals. Nobody's ever been on, you know, I'm sure they'd never told me about it, but I'm sure family members were calling and being like, you know, what's the dirt and all that shit. So I'm sure it was not fun for anybody in my family to go through that, but they never wavered. Like they were always like, we got your back. Just, it's just about the kids. Like,

you know, so family life has always been as normal, you know, but as solid as can be to let me go do all this shit. Is your sister married as well? She just got married. Yep. So she's 29.

My brother's four years older than me. So right in the middle of that. And do they have any kids yet? My brother has kids. She just got married. So that's next for her. Oh, everybody's doing it the old traditional way? Okay.

We'll see, man. We'll see. You're right. She just got married. I'm like, oh, sorry. I forgot. You got to be married to have kids. And you're family.

Not on our side. You're Irish Catholic, we're Italian Catholic. Yeah, you got to play around. Nobody over here is fucking married. Yeah, I mean, it's been weird, though, like the whole Barstool journey of kind of being like in the public eye and doing, you know, especially when nobody was expecting it. So all of a sudden, I remember telling my parents, like, I'm going to quit my job to go to this blog.

And they were kind of cool. They were pretty cool. I feel like most people have a story where their parents are like, don't you do it, you know? And they were like, does it pay good enough? Okay. And then like started, I told them, I was like, don't ever listen. I don't want you guys ever listening. I told them I ran for a sports blog. And back when it started, it was like,

we're doing local smoke show of the day and all this. It was a lot of smut. Like I was like, your son is a full-blown smut peddler at this point. And I remember telling my mom, don't ever listen, don't ever watch. And thankfully she is so technologically inept that she couldn't if she wanted to. But I remember at like a family event, my dad, we were at like the buffet or getting a drink or whatever. And he leans over and he goes, this is not a sports blog. And I was like, no, it is not, bro. But I mean, it's, you know, going to make me hopefully more money than I ever imagined. And that's, I think the biggest takeaway I have in life now is you can't do everything 100%, you know? And I think life is entirely about juggling, like, especially for, I know, you know, women

certainly have their own struggle, but I feel like for guys, you got to be a new age dude who's plugged in with their emotions and society and all that, but at the same time, you still got to be the old school breadwinner and take care of everything. You want me to cry at commercials and go change the fucking oil? You want me to do that? You just said it so much better than I could. I'd rather cry at the commercials.

I am weeping at the commercials, bro. And you can fix the tire and change the oil yourself. You want me to do the brakes right now? I'm over here crying at a Lifetime movie, for Christ's sake. Try to get in touch with my feelings. Have you seen the Kardashians right now? I'm in the middle of the five languages of love, for Christ's sake.

I don't have time to go get a hornet's nest. It's so true, man. But yeah, that first, especially when you're doing something you hate and you're just doing for the bills. especially when you're doing something you, when you're doing something you hate and you're just doing for the bills. You know, one of my first brands was being a cubicle monkey.

And I could really resonate with the people who were sitting at their desk. So a lot of my blogs, a lot of my podcasts were about the little, you know, little nuances of being stuck in a cube. And people were like, that's exactly what it's like. I could really relate to that. And so I always, my mantra was mail time.

Do as little as you can, but to make as much money as you can and get promoted don't be the guy who comes in early and stays late you know bare minimum while snaking it snake it till you make it was always my you know mantra but i you know when you have a job you hate you're just like fuck it i just got to do this when you when you have a job that you either love or you know the more that i put in the more I'm going to get out. I was kind of like, you know, I could be, I could be working right now and that could mean big things for down the road.

And, but do I balance that with, and I think I, I think I balanced a little too hard with home life. I think like early on, I was trying to be, I passed on work trips. I passed on opportunities, starting new shows. I was like, I already work a lot as it is. And I think, you know, I gotta focus on my marriage

and she's gonna be upset if I do this, that, and the other thing. And I started to resent that. And you know, once I was single, I was like, I said yes to everything and my career fucking took off. So it's a sad, you know, reality of life. That's like, there's only 24 hours in a day, you know? And so that's, you know, I'm like, I could do this, but I got to see my kids. And, and, you know, the kids are the one thing I just don't ever waver on now. That's, you know,

the first and foremost. So we'll see. I mean, it's been a long road. Next year is when we had Penn Nationals, a casino conglomerate, like gambling conglomerate came in and bought us. So next year is when all of my equity vests, and I've been waiting for that day for a long fucking time. Yeah, bro. And not that money can make up for certain things and buy happiness and all that shit. We all know that, but it goes a long way. If it can make things feel like it was, well, it was worth it, or no one's worried about college, no one's worry about houses no one's gonna worry about you know anything financially really oh yeah and i think there's still some honor in that you know so that that'll that'll come in and make things

hopefully although i don't know man like i said if my money more problems has been the realest shit for me everything i was my happiest and my my most like carefree when i was making you know 50k in new york city trying to just like you know four guys in a three-bedroom apartment yeah so we'll see but god willing bro so do you get along enough with your ex that you guys can you're you're good in front of the kid to keep it professional for sure professional for sure yeah yeah she's she's got a new boyfriend who's a cool dude uh he's been around a while uh he's you're good in front of the kids. You keep it professional. For sure. I say professional. For sure. Yeah, yeah. She's got a new boyfriend who's a cool dude. He's been around for a while.

When it first happened, how was that? I was okay when it first happened. You didn't have any anxiety about it? Not really. I did. I had anxiety about it. I had anxiety. All of them.

Oh, man. No, I mean i i was okay with it it was like you know what happened happened what you know where we're going is where we're going and you you got somebody like all good um what what's been a little weird is as the kids have gotten older and you know sometimes he's doing stuff with them or they're talking about him. And I'm like, eh. It was my son's birthday recently. And he got him Mario Odyssey on the Nintendo. And so he runs to him every time he can't beat a boss or finish a level. And so I fucking went and bought Mario and played it on the plane out here. I'm Googling the cheat codes.

It's all on the phone. Oh, yeah? Does he know about this? Exactly. Yeah, how about that? I've literally... Just closed the whole screen. It's raining coins right now, motherfucker.

I'm like, I'm going to get Mario to show up on the fucking front step. All right, Mario and Luigi, I'm coming to your birthday party. You got it? I FaceTimed him just yesterday, dude. I played Mario Odyssey on the plane for four straight fucking hours just so I could know every nook and cranny of the game.

And I FaceTime and I say, Keegan, guess what I've been doing? I've been playing Mario. So anything that you can't beat or anything, you can come to me now. And he goes, I can beat all of it. And just runs away. I was like, fucking whatever, dude. Just keep doing it. You're going to be that one time.

He's like, dad. Here you go. Let me show you something. Yeah. Let me tell you something, young buck. Yeah. Mario, I can do. He's playing Minecraft.

Yeah. Bro. I'm out. I was like, go talk to the boyfriend. I can't do this shit, bro. You're bombing him over that. That's the weird shit. You go do that, man.

I'm always joking, too. I have these fucked up shoulders and back and stuff. So when it comes time to, you know, how do I tackle and, you know, can we throw the ball and go with him? Daddy's watching TV. When you want to talk about podcasting and the internet, you come talk to me, all right? Yeah. But yeah, I mean, there's a level of, it's not anxiety because he's a good dude. Everything's fine.

But it's just an ego thing and like a little like, all right, wait a minute. Part of it's me too is that FOMO that like I'm here, I'm missing out on this moment with my kid that this other person's getting to experience. And man, I want to have that moment with my kid. I remember Christmases when he started coming around for that. And it was like putting up ornaments and shit. And I was like – that was one of the – when we were married, there was a breaking point where things were not good. And like our daughter was just first born.

So it doesn't even matter. She was a newborn. She couldn't even tell. But they – I was ready. I was a newborn. She couldn't even tell. But I was excited to decorate the tree. And I came home and she had already done it without me and was kind of like, oh, I didn't even know you wanted to do that. And I was like, yes, you did. You know, like stuff like that. So Christmas and holidays, like holidays just this year for the first time, I've been okay around holidays.

Like holidays were brutal. I mean, I'm fucking crying at flag day like holidays were brutal I mean I'm fucking crying at flag day you know what I mean I'm like oh it's president's day and I'm not in our case me, Lincoln and George were fucking you know

so that shit's no fun but I'm finally in a good spot now and like you know as they get older part of is like, I like that I can explain to them a little more. But it also comes with the responsibility of explaining more things. So everything is a double-edged sword, man. Our parents, well, not yours, but my parents divorced. It wasn't on the fucking internet. That I could tell you my narrative and you don't have.

It's not the story. Yeah, yeah. Let me tell you something, brother. Let me tell you my narrative and you don't have it's not the story. Yeah. Yeah. Let me tell you brother. Let me tell you there's a narrative out there. There is one side

to the story that they will be reading and I you know that'll probably be all I'm telling you if it was 1995 or earlier it was my story.

Do you know how fucking you know how fucking great divorce was for the first 300 years of it? Yeah. When you just got up and moved to the town next door and it was over. Now everyone's connected and sees who you're dating and every social media and we're going to text and we're going to talk. And it's like. It took me exhausting.

The other thing that gives me anxiety too, is it took me 47 years to finally get, I'm 49 now, but it took 47 to get my personal life, my work and my daughter's mother's house within a three mile radius. Wow. So I'm within 15 minutes in the rain at rush hour. Yeah. That's when I tested it. I was like, let's see what this is. Freeway in the morning, get there in nine minutes.

Right. You know what I mean? Invaluable, dude. And even though I'm still that close, it feels like there's this whole, she's on another planet sometimes when they tell me what else they're doing. They could be on the other side of this wall. And as long as you're not engaged, you know what I mean?

You're such a dog, Mark. What up, Lily Rose? Princess, calm down, girl. It's never close enough. That's also kind of what I think gave me a little bit of solace or I kind of let go a little bit. It was like there's never going to be enough time like if if we were still together and i was with them 16 hours a day

i would want 17 you know what i mean and like and especially as they've started to do more like now i'm free and i'm like hey i'm gonna come over and they're like no we got a play date and we gotta go to camp and we're like oh all right which i'm like good i'm like all right you know yeah fine like live your life i'm not gonna be I'm like, all right, you know, fine. Like, live your life. I'm not going to be that parent, but, you know, in the beginning

when it's like they just have their parents, you want to be the one that's there every fucking second, you know? Yeah. So,

the other day I dropped my daughter off at camp and everybody was already there and she's like, all right, dad. I was like,

all right, nothing. She's like, I go, this, it's happening now? You don't want to hug me in front of your friends?

Already? Yeah. Yeah. Luckily, you know, they to hug me in front of your friends already yeah luckily you know they do like me still so I close out every live show

with the crowd saying you know hi Shane Keegan and and I've done it like three or four times already

right it's like a new thing we're doing and I plan to do it forever and one day I'm going to have this compilation of it you know

and I I showed it to her and she, I, the first few, she, it was, hi, Shane Keegan, we love you and we miss you. And then this one, she wanted the crowd to say, daddy is so silly. And I forgot to do that. So I show it to her and she goes, they didn't say daddy's silly. And I was like, you go play with the boyfriend. I'm going home. I'm going fucking home back to my place.

That is one thing I will say is like, I, you know, especially through the pandemic. And I know some people were stuck in some marriages and situations and homes and stuff where like having my freedom to work and to get away and all that, you know, there's no way I would have lasted like a 40

years just kind of just swallowing it and pushing it down like it's tough but i needed it it makes sense to me why my father had so much stress and anxiety now and a divorce in the 80s like your work he's driving commute is an hour each way and you don't know where your kids are you know you can't call no instant text no no nothing constant worry working all day long hoping that when you come home everything's all good yeah brutal man but but there's also like they weren't thinking that way either right but maybe they were you know internally there's something going on but us it's like we got to text every second got to know every second and you don't really need to you know but because you can you have to and it's like and like i don't i learned early on i

don't do the oh to my daughter because my daughter will tell him she'll tell me everything she won't tell me right away she's like i don't want to talk about i'm like all right and then maybe 30 minutes later like hey dad here we go lay it out yeah yeah yeah ask me what shit is you know and so i i had to take her um she's been with me to baltimore on tour and she's been she did a uh with a weekend with me in la jolla and she's sitting in the green room with kirsten and the dog dog was like real small then and um after a couple shows she goes the next day she Dad, why do you guys all say the same thing over and over? I go, Jesus Christ. You sound like the internet chick.

I go, we're working on something here, for God's sake. She learned what stand-up. Real quick. The first time, like, wait, you're saying the same shit again? And again? I heard this one. I heard this one in La Jolla, Dad. What the fuck?

That's a joke you did in La Jolla. She said to me the other day, she's a dancer, and so she's done a couple recitals. And I can tell she's already going to have some anxiety. She's a nervous kid. And she says, like, Dad, when you go on stage, are you nervous? And I was like, every damn time. I sweat through my shirt every time. I'm still new to it.

I freak out every time. And I do it every time because I know I want to, and I know I'm going to be proud at the end. And she was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, because after you do it, you feel like a superhero. And I was like, oh. I know, right? Oh, my God. These things that these kids say, man. It was my son's birthday the other day, and after the party ends, he passes out in the car, and I pick him up, and he's sleeping on my shoulder.

And he just goes, Dad, I loved my birthday morning. Thank you so much. And I'm like – And that's what it's all about. Yeah, yeah. Those moments are like, thank God for those moments because the rest of that shit sucks. Yeah. You know?

All right. So I told you at the end of this I would ask you advice you would give to your 16-year-old self. We're there. So after – it's interesting because you had a solid upbringing, it sounds like. I know you say your parents hated each other, but still together, still working it all out. And then you're the divorce in the family. Yeah, I'm the black sheep. Yeah.

I mean, I once wrote a blog about this. It said, advice for my unborn son who I'll never meet because God's going to curse me with daughters. That was the title of the thing. Come to find out, you know, nobody's cursed with daughters. They are like the best blessing in the world, you know? But it was a lot more of like, you know, I went to Fordham where after I graduated,

no need to go back, no sports, no alma mater. So it was things like I want you to go to a big sports program for college. You know, funner things, you know, that are not as serious. But I think I've come to learn that the fear that I had of rejection in all things, girls, work, sports, like whatever. If I could get rid of one, if I could do one thing, I would have him and her have no fear of rejection. Like go, you know, ask that girl out. Go try to play that sport. Take the shot.

Don't pass the ball. When I played sports, I was the guy who took charges and dove on the floor for loose balls. And I wouldn't, I wasn't the guy taking the, you know what I mean? Like, shoot, play selfish. And, you know, be, you know, put yourself out there. And, like, I think I've just finally got to a spot after going through the fucking fire on the internet where I truly do not care anymore. Not that I don't, there's a lot of people who say they don't care. I truly have gotten to a point where I don't care within reason, you know?

And once that happens, it's so freeing, you know? And it's, it's so, it's impossible to get a young kid and then a teenager and someone going through adolescence to not care because you just have to live through it and all that. But if I could get, you know, if I could get them them to realize that like most of these people do not fucking matter and only like you and your family and what you do and the close ones are what matter most so like you know date around oh yeah i actually do think i don't think anybody should even be close to having a serious relationship until they're like 27 that might be one of my rules because it's like when i see some young kids who are like broken up or and and

suicidal and and depressed and shit it's like you guys are fucking like 19 you know what i mean so i mean i have some little things like tangible specifics but i think the broader thing of like just especially on the internet and the world they're to live in where you're connected to way too many people. And who knows what the fuck else is going to be out there in 10 years. I genuinely think we will look back on social media the same way we looked at cigarettes and alcohol and stuff where it was like, we just, everybody had it all the time and it was fucking ruining everybody. And now we have to control it.

And because your brain is just not designed to have that much stimulation from that many people, you know? And so I just hope to God when they are, you know, getting followers and fucking comments and DMs and all that shit that they just know, you know, these people's opinions don't matter, whether it's the fear of rejection or the feeling inferior or feeling bad or whatever

like none of that matters it does just do you man good for you and be normal not enough normal kids out there be nice that's my be nice be normal like just be so it's so it seems so easy but every room i walk into i'm like all these people are so fucking weird why you guys just be normal just be nice simple as that man well thank you for being i appreciate it man it was a great episode like i said man you're one of the the realists in the game so thank you man there's a reason why i gravitated towards it and i feel like we kind of run the same sort of show we have we goof around a little more i want to come out and do yours yeah man absolutely we would love to have you i know you got stories for days man so i'll

be out there one of the guys i guys I look up to the most. So I appreciate you having me, man. Thank you. Thank you, bro. Promote anything you'd like again, please. Yeah, we got our live shows coming up. We only do like once a month. It's a live podcast.

It's not, you know, stand-up comedy. So we will be in D.C. at the end of September. We'll be back in New York in October. And then we're going to do a little West Coast swing in November. That's going to go Denver, Phoenix uh, Denver, Phoenix, LA. So you'll be back here. Yeah. I'll come back in the fall. So we'll do it again. We'll run it back. And, uh, you can see all that, go to KFC radio on social media. We have a link in the bio and link tree for tickets for everything on sale there. So come out and see us do the show live and subscribe on YouTube. Like, subscribe, all that nonsense.

I hate saying it, but it actually works. If you don't do it, it helps so much, man. It's a free way to help every show. If you support it. And that also throws it into the algorithm where more people see it and you say, oh, there you go. You're helping us out. So really.

Please do it. Thank you, brother. Really appreciate it. As always, RyanSickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media. We'll talk to you all next week. Bye.