The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Kim Congdon - HoneyStorm

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

My HoneyDew this week is Kim Congdon! Kim Highlights the Lowlights of growing up in a wild family, her mom and aunts’ love of fighting, and catching relatives make-out! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: Enso Rings -Check out Enso's Elements rings at our special URL: https://www.EnsoRings.com/HONEYDEW and for a limited time get 10% off your first purchase of any collection when you use promo code HoneyDew How To Buy a Home Podcast -If you want a free play book for buying your first home, listen to the How To Buy a Home Podcast today! CrowdHealth -Go to https://www.JoinCrowdHealth.com/99 and enter code HoneyDew at sign up to get your first six months for just $99 per month Quip -If you go to https://www.GetQuip.com/HoneyDew right now, you'll get your first refill free Raycon -Go to https://www.BuyRaycon.com/HoneyDew to unlock exclusive deals up to 20% off your Raycon order Little Passports -Get 20% off any new subscription with promo code HoneyDew at https://LittlePassports.com 

Learner's Permit, Thursdays on my YouTube. Subscribe today. The Night Pants Nation Tour is underway. Thank you, Arlington, for another great weekend. Cleveland, you are up next, December 9th through the 11th. La Jolla, you're right after that, December 17th through the 19th. And Austin, we're kicking off 2022 down there, January 6th through the 8th. Get your tickets now at ryan sickler.com the honeydew with ryan sickler welcome back to the honeydew y'all We're over here doing it in the Night Pants Studios. I am Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media.

Again, the Night Pants Nation tour is rolling. I can't thank you, Arlington, enough. We had a great weekend down in Arlington. Up next, we got Cleveland December 9th through the 11th, La Jolla December 17th through the 19th, and Austin, Texas, kicking off 2022 with you all down there, January 6th through the 8th.

All tickets are available at ryanstickler.com. Please come out and see me. Subscribe to the email list as well. You'll be the first to know a lot of information that's going on out there. The YouTube continues to grow. Thank you. Please hit that subscribe button. We've got a lot going on. 2022 is going to be a really big year. Patreon, again, this community continues to grow

and grow. Thank you for your support. I love this show. We are highlighting the lowlights with y'all and y'all have not let us down. The stories are outrageous and you guys are very courageous for coming on and sharing your story. So if you or someone you know has that story that has to be heard, please submit it to honeydopodcast at gmail.com. You do not need to be a subscriber to submit, and it's $5 a month. If you're in for the long haul, you get over a month free, and you're always getting the honeydew a day early ad free. All right? There it is, y'all.

Now, you know what we do over here. We highlight the lowlights, and these are the stories behind the stories tellers. Today, very excited to have this guest on, her first time here. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Kim Congdon, y'all. Welcome to the Honeydew, girl. Thank you. Thank you for being here. I'm so happy to be here.

I'm excited. I am, too. I got to actually officially meet you finally a couple weeks ago at the store. But you know, you're homies with my homies and I knew you were a good person. So before we get into your lowlights, will you

please plug, promote everything you'd like? Of course. Yeah, I had to pull out my phone because I smoke too much weed. September 29th I'll be at the... Well, first of all, I should say all of October, I will be in New York for most of October. I don't have show dates yet, but I will be getting those on my social media soon.

But September 29th, I'm at the American Comedy Club with Sarah Weinschenk. October 3rd, I'm at the Creek in the Cave in Austin, Texas. October 4th, I am doing Des Creek in the Cave in Austin Texas October 4th I am doing Desk Squad Secret Show in Austin October 1st I will be doing

Kill Tony in Austin and October 5th through 7th I will be at Skank Fest Houston so a lot of Texas and New York dates if you're out come around and see me and say hi and you're doing Ellis Mania, aren't you? I'm doing Ellis Mania.

They don't have a date booked or a location, but I will be fighting in Ellis Mania somewhere at the end of November. You didn't even have your opponent yet. No, I don't.

That's dangerous. Yeah. It really is dangerous to go sight unseen and fight anyone. I signed up blindly. Which just goes to show where my mental health is i can't imagine they could get anyone they fucking want any chick out there you're like oh man

um well before we get into it let me ask you i'll be fighting caitlyn jenner oh god i would fly to see that. I would be like, no. Did you fight a lot as a kid or growing up? A little bit. I mean, we would like, I thought growing up it was normal to be like, get in fist fights with like your friends in the woods. Yeah.

I thought everyone did that. But apparently, like when I say that, people are like, no, that's not not normal i've never hit anyone in my life whenever someone tells me that blows me away when someone hasn't hit someone or hasn't been hit i'm like well you need to yeah do both yeah you need to get i talk about it all the time like even in that learner's permit series i'm telling my stepson like look bullying's not okay But someone who checks you for running your fucking mouth or pushing a little too hard or just lets you know, hey, there's bigger, stronger out here. Careful with where you step and what you say. I think it's a great fucking thing. I'm not talking about that person kicking your ass every day.

I'm talking about somebody who probably you deserved it and they fucking punched you right in your goddamn face. I've been checked. You have? You've been checked, yeah. By? I got into. I've been into. A stranger, like sister, brother.

I've been into two fights. Okay. I've been into two fights and I've punched one guy in the face. I'm going to get canceled for this. You're not allowed to say that anymore, but I did. You are. A woman can definitely say she punched a guy in the face. No, you can't.

Not anymore. Since when? Dude, it's just like you guys can't rape, we can't punch in the face anymore. We were never allowed to rape. Yes, you were. I hear you loud and clear on that. I hear you loud and clear on that. So, yeah.

The first fight I ever got in. How old were you? 18, 17, 18, 19. 18 or 19. So your first fight is 19 years old. In college. Spring break. Where are you in college?

University of Florida. Okay. But it's spring break. So we're driving like six hours. I think it was like six hours to Panama City Beach. I was just about to say, you're going to Panama City? Of course we're going to Panama City Beach. I'm getting on to say, you're going to Panama City? Of course we're going to Panama City Beach. I'm getting on the bikini contest.

I'm doing it all. By the way, I went to Panama City, yeah, I was 19 because when I was 18, I made the mistake of bringing my boyfriend with me. That's when I did

the bikini contest and I was a whole... He was there? He was not. I was just like on the beach with my friends and he was somewhere else with his friends

and they were like, come do this contest. You can win money. And I got second place, which is really sad. How much money did you get? I think like 200 bucks. That's fucking. I was so excited.

That's a lot of money in college. And I brought home the money and it cost a huge fine. I brought home the money like a fucking hooker. I was so proud, dude. We lived in a very small town I thought it was like the coolest thing I thought it was like

something to be so proud of and it truly ruined spring break for us and all our friends your friends too like it just it was ugly it just ruined the rest of the time

it was constant fighting but the next year what if you'd have won first what if you'd have won first it would have been different then i could have taken out the dinner at least that was my first and last bikini contest wait but then you said but the next year but the next year i went back again with my friend this was a girl whose friends were in college and this girl was a problem i like i probably shouldn't have been hanging out with her she was just loved meeting guys a problem and i was always like the kind of like friend that wouldn't fuck

and would be like i would be like she sucks like your friend sucks she don't fuck like you my friend was like getting trains ran on her and i was like that's not me like i don't know um so we went to spring break and she's like i was like i don't have money for spring break i'm poor i'm in college and she's like it's was like, I don't have money for spring break. I'm poor. I'm in college. And she's like, it's fine. We'll figure it out. So we drive the six hours and we're at the beach and we're having fun and there's a concert happening. And I meet this guy on the beach.

She's like off doing her own thing. Who knows? And I meet this guy on the beach and he's like flirting with me. He's super cute. I'm really excited about it. He puts me on his shoulders for the concert. And we're just having fun.. I'm really excited about it. He puts me on his shoulders for the concert and we're just having fun. I'm not doing anything crazy. And probably

20 minutes into that, a girl comes up and starts arguing with him while I'm on his shoulders. And she's like, what the fuck are you doing? And then she looks at me and she's like, that's my fucking boyfriend. And I was like, oh shit. Well, my pussy's on his neck.

My pussy's on the back of your boyfriend's neck. I already peed on him, so I think it's my boyfriend. I marked this motherfucker. I definitely at least leaked a little. I sneezed up here twice. So then she takes a Coors Light can that wasn't open, and she just, from like two feet away just chucks it at my face as hard as she can

and it smacks me in the nose. Yeah, and I don't even expect it. Like the twisted tea can. Dude, she twisted tea. You got twisted tea. Listen. She teed me. No offense. Coors Light is a proud sponsor of the Honeydew. For real. It really is. If you had to get hit with any beer.

Is it really a sponsor? I appreciate you being a Coors Light. If you had to get hit with any beer. Is it really a sponsor? It is, yeah. I appreciate you being a quarter line. I appreciate you being a quarter line. Oh, that's so funny. Well, it tasted great. I mean, that's a brick. That's a fucking brick. And that's close.

And that close. And where'd it hit you? Did it knock your teeth out or anything? It hit me in my nose and in my eye like knocked me in the face and it shocked me but before i had time to think i came back up i could take a smack my mom's puerto rican so so but i came back up and the dude had grabbed me by the ass and thrown me on top of her no like he was sick of her shit he He had to hit her. And so I land on top of her and naturally we just start fighting.

He can't hit her so he throws you on top. What concert's playing out here, by the way? Just some random shit? I think at this point the music stops. The entire beach is like circled around us and we're fighting and then I can feel her friend hitting me in the head with a beer bottle. Jesus Christ.

So then someone drags me and I'm doing pretty well. At this point, I'm on top of her because I remember being like dragged by my feet off of her. And you're in a bikini. Is she in a bikini also? We're both in bikinis. My body, I hadn't eaten carbs in two weeks. Like I was, I just want. You were ready.

The year before I knew what was up. I was like, there's money on the table out here so I came ready you get more you should have charged for this you'd have made thousands

I'm sure this video is out there somewhere I think I flashed my tits I went out that spring break it was truly not me yeah

and then we get dragged away I have like this big cut on my face so I'm like the girl that fought on spring break I keep seeing people all weekend being like you're the girl that fought but when I was get dragged away. I have like this big cut on my face. So I'm like the girl that fought on spring break. I keep seeing people all weekend being like, you're the girl that fought.

But when I was getting dragged away, I got a look at the girl. I saw who she was. You did? I saw her face. As I was being dragged, I looked up and I remember her face. And I was like, whatever. Right? So, you know, spring break happens.

We go back home. This is early in spring break. This is the first day. First day. And your face is fucked up for spring break. Fucked the first day. First day, and your face is fucked up for spring break. Fucked up. Not even fucked up.

I have a scratch. Are you still going to be able to do the bikini contest like this? No, I was like, you know what, I'm not going to be called Scar. You know what I mean? She officially had to remove

her scarf. Yeah, I had to. She owes me that money, I think. So then, I, um. So you spotted her face spring breaks over spring breaks over

drive six hours back to UF three weeks later I go to this thing called Techno Tuesday that they would have Techno Tuesday and if you were

going to UF from the years of 2009 to 2012 you know Techno Tuesday everyone went even if you didn't listen to Techno everybody went to Techno Tuesday. Everyone went. Even if you didn't listen to Techno, everybody went to Techno Tuesday.

It was super fun. And I was at Techno Tuesday, and I was walking towards the bathroom, and I see that bitch. No way. The same girl that hit me. And I was pretty drunk at this point. And all I just remember is her hitting me for no reason.

So I went up to her. She was waiting by the bathroom in the line outside in the hallway by the bathroom. And I just hit her as hard as I could in the face. Fuck yeah. And what happened? And as soon as I hit her, I got fucking clocked by one of her friends. A girl or a guy? A girl. But let? Oh, a girl.

But let me tell you, it was, do you watch basketball? You know who Doc Rivers is? Yeah. Oh, I don't know if I can say this. I don't want to be sued. Anyways. Well, she hit you. Someone hit me.

Related to Doc Rivers? No, not at all. I don't even think Doc Rivers has a daughter. I don't know. No idea. But this girl was on the volleyball team, and she fucking hit me in the eye really hard and gave me a huge black eye.

But you got yours in, though. I got mine in, but it was not worth it for me. It hurt so bad. My eye hurt so bad. I thought I was going to go blind. I couldn't see out of it for me yeah it hurt so bad my eye hurt so bad i thought i was gonna go blind like i was couldn't see out of it for a couple days i was like there could be damage you know what i mean um and i remember the girl contacted me she found me on social media she asked me for my number i gave it to her and then she called me and she was like let's not she was like i didn't know we went to the same school let's not do this every time we see each other

and i was like cool I'm good with that. And that was the end of it. And that's what the two fights I was in. Damn. Both with the same girl. Yeah, both with the same girl. That's crazy. And in a different city.

And six hours away to see her by a bathroom. I was like, God gave her to me. Like, here it is. You're just going to cost you. That's how God works. Yeah. So, yeah. And then I punched one guy in the face at the comedy store oh at the comedy store when i told the story you're allowed to say who i know i don't want to say who comic or a guest it was i think he was a comic i don't know if

he still is he was this douchebag i was dating when i first moved to la who was like a model trying to be a comic. Um, and he was an asshole. And I think we were like in the middle of like a, like a sort of, we would, we were like on and off again for nine months and we were like in a fight currently,

but both at the store drinking and I was hanging out with my friends and he was being mean to my friends on purpose, just trying to make them uncomfortable. And then I started making fun of his comedy and people started laughing and he got really upset and he like poked me in the shoulder while he was talking to me he was like don't you ever like he was like and so i punched him in the face in the face fuck yeah i gave him a big black eye i punched him and a few people saw him they're like what the fuck? And then I just walked away. And then I was sitting in the back like just chilling. And he came by with an ice pack with the manager.

And the manager was like, I think it was Richie. He came back with Richie. And Richie was like, who didn't know? Was it Richie? Maybe. I don't know. And Richie was like, who did it? And he looks me straight in the eye.

He's like, I don't know, some cunt. And then he didn't sell me out. And that was the only time I punched someone. But he deserved to be punched. Don't poke me. Well, that's the same thing. You're touching me. Don't touch me.

Don't fucking touch me. Yeah. All right, so let's dive into, I appreciate you telling me about your- My fights? Yeah, your fights and your aggressiveness and I hope you do well whatever they fucking pair you against in that.

Because I really do want to go. I talked to Ellis about it and I want to go to it. Did he say that they're looking for someone? What did he say? No, he said they're looking for the venue right now. Still trying to lock the venue. It'll be fun. I got a feeling you're going to get somebody the night before.

They're going to be like, can you do this? Good. We'll see. Good, because I'm going to be training from now. I know. I love it. I've been watching you out there train. So tell me about, are you from Florida then? I am you out there train so tell me about um you are you

from florida then i am all right so tell me about your family and your upbringing because i know you've got some wild stories yeah my family is uh fucking insane um have you ever seen i like to describe have you ever seen the show shameless of course they are almost that. Exactly that, but if the house was cleaner, so you're tricked. Does that make sense? It does, yeah. It looks put together, but it's a mess on the inside. It's a nightmare. My dad is frank.

My dad's very much frank. Christmas mornings, he'd come over. My dad and my stepdad are friends. All right, so your mom and dad, were they married when you were born? No. Okay. So tell me about that. How many siblings do you have? I have three younger sisters. Younger. Okay.

Two half sisters. Okay. And one sister with my mom and my dad. Okay. And then they both split up and had kids with someone else. Okay. So those were the two half sisters. Your mom had kids with they both split up and had kids with someone else. Okay. So those were the two half-sisters. Your mom had kids with someone else

and your dad had kids with someone else. My mom had a kid with someone else and my dad had a kid with someone else. Got it. So those are my two half-sisters on each side. And then there's me and my sister from my mom and my dad.

And how old were you when they split? Five. Five. But they were never married? Or they were? They were married, yeah. They were. They got divorced when I was five.

I think they got married when I was like three or two. Okay. But continued to have... So is your sister with them younger than you? Or older than you? They got divorced, then they had my sister. They did, okay. You know what?

I've never even realized that. That's why I was wondering. Like, wait a second. Wait a minute. They just fucked one time five years later? Oh, it's five years difference. Yeah. So wait.

Me and my sister, the sister that's closest to my age is five years younger than me. So they just fucked five years after they divorced? But how about the kids they had with their... That's five more years after that. Okay. So they weren't cheating. Those kids aren't older than your five-year-old sister. That was close.

That was close because this is kind of juicy, but that would have been like, I need to make some phone calls. The holidays are almost here. So for all of you who are trying to figure out what to get that person who means so much to you, I've got the perfect gift. Enzo rings. These are stylish silicone rings with a soft, flexible fit. They're so much more comfortable and safer than wearing a metal ring, especially for anyone

active or who works with their hands a lot. Uh, they sent me a few of these and I like them, man. These are easy. They slide on and off really easy. It's look at that. It's durable. It's a, it looks good. You can't even tell. All right. So no matter what your taste are, Enzo rings has you covered with a wide selection of stylish and fun collections like their Elements collection that has an elegant look of real metal but the benefits of silicone. Enzo Rings actually infuses real precious materials into the silicone, and you can't find that in any other silicone ring brand. There's platinum. There's rose gold, diamond pearl, even volcanic ash, plus many more. Trust me, Enzo rings are a gift that they'll love.

Check out Enzo's elements, rings, and other bestsellers at my special URL, enzorings.com slash honeydew. And for a limited time, you get 10% off your first purchase of any collection when you use the promo code honeydew. Don't wait. Lock in your holiday orders now and even get one for yourself. For 10% off, that's promo code honeydew at ensorings.com slash honeydew. Look, you know we live in one of the most expensive cities in the world here, Los Angeles. I still rent. Renting's, you know,

it's a pain and it's ridiculously expensive here. And I know you can own a home anywhere else for the amount we pay in rent here. So I want to buy, and I highly recommend, if you do too, checking out the How to Buy a Home podcast. It's an amazing resource for anyone interested in taking steps towards homeownership. The host, David Sedoni, has been helping first-time homebuyers like us for years. His How to Buy a Home podcast can help you determine if homeownership is the right investment for you, whether it's now, next year, or in five years. you determine if home ownership is the right investment for you, whether it's now, next year, or in five years. Plus, the podcast will arm you with the knowledge to qualify for loans with only 3.5% down, navigate bidding wars, pick the perfect realtor, and so much more. If you want a free

playbook for buying your first home, then listen to the How to Buy a Home podcast today. Find How to Buy a Home wherever you listen to podcasts. Like many of you, I am fed up with the insurance we get today. It sucks. I pay almost $600 a month, and it's basically just emergency insurance. I'm still paying $10,000 out of pocket. It's ridiculous. I've maxed out before, and it can be crushing. So when it comes to health care, it's important to make sure you're getting your money's worth.

So while you're shopping around, don't forget to head to joincrowdhealth.com slash fit to find out how CrowdHealth can save you 40 to 60% in health care costs each year. It's not health insurance. What it is, is it's a modern way to pay medical expenses. CrowdHealth is a community of people who are tired of paying into a broken system. Being in the CrowdHealth community can save hundreds of dollars monthly and put thousands of dollars back in your pocket. CrowdHealth gets rid of the insurance middleman and passes the savings to its members. 100% of your monthly membership pays for actual health care costs, helping the whole CrowdHealth community stay healthy while keeping more money in your pocket. CrowdHealth community stay healthy while keeping more money in your pocket. CrowdHealth is able to offer amazing prices because of its community of health-conscious members, but they have an amazing offer just for my listeners.

Get your first six months for just $99 a month. That's a savings of almost 50% versus their standard pricing and a lot less than one of those crappy high-deductible plans. Just go to joincrowdhealth.com slash 99 and enter code honeydew at signup. That's joincrowdhealth.com slash 99 promo code honeydew. CrowdHealth is not health insurance. It's a community powered alternative. Terms and conditions may apply. So you're just for real realizing that now? Yes. I've never even thought about it.

What do you think they did that night that they got together? What's your sister's month, birth month? April. So what's nine months before April? Oh, why do you got to make me do it? I can't do the album. That's four months to January. And then let's see, July, August.

How can you do that backwards? September, October, November. Oh, you're not doing it. August, September, October, November. Oh, you're not doing it. It's about August, September, October, November, December, January, February, March, April, May. No, so July. Fourth of motherfucking July. Fourth of July. Fireworks, baby.

They got together. That's fireworks. Yeah. Ew. That's definitely what it was. Well, I was conceived on, they must like holidays because my birthday is September 25th, which is nine months after Christmas day. There you go. So they love a holiday.

They do. They love a good holiday. They love a good holiday fuck. So they fuck and then your sister comes out five years later. Okay. But they're not, but they're, when you say they're separated, you guys are living in different places too, right? Dude, no.

I mean, I don't know what i can't remember if we were there if they're who did you know he was living with he was living with us when my sister was born but they were already filed for divorce i think they were like separated separated and maybe trying to figure it out again sure i. I think that was the case. Got a little drunk one night maybe or whatever it is. And then they're like, now we have a kid. And then I think like a year after my sister was born. Oh, no.

That's when it was officially a wrap. This is when things get juicy. So, yeah, after my sister was born, I was five. This is what it is. I'm just high. I'm so high. You knew all your fight stories inside. I was like, yeah, this one I block out.

Yeah, I would imagine. This is worse than a black eye. Yeah, my sister was about one, and my dad, who's a fisherman, when you're a commercial fisherman, you leave for like a while at a time. Like he would go to like Puerto Rico and go fishing and stuff like that or wherever it was legal. And my mom met my stepdad out one night while he was gone fishing. I see. Yeah.

She was a cheater. And I remember- So mom cheated, at least that we know of first. And I remember I knew nothing about it. Like I'd never seen him before, but there was one morning when I walked into my mom's room and there was someone with really long hair in my mom's bed and I thought it was a woman. And I was like, who's that?

And my mom was like, it's your aunt who didn't have long hair. So it was just kind of confusing. And then- How old were you? See, this is, I feel like I's that and my mom was like it's your aunt who didn't have long hair so it was just kind of confusing and then see this is I feel like I must have been like yeah I must have been like not seven eight it's your aunt seven or eight maybe and I was just like this kind of doesn't make sense and then my my dad came home and i remember they were arguing and he was like kim have you seen anyone here and i was like that that lady that was here with the long hair was my aunt right and that's like how i said it oh no yeah and that and he was like oh really and i remember him being like oh really your aunt was here and he was like it wasn't like anything bad but like i remember that moment of him being like, I was like, oh, I think I sold her out.

But good. I remember being like, but good. Why? Did you have a favorite then? No. I just was like, you're lying. You know when you're a kid and you're like, you're not supposed to lie. Yeah, right.

Of course you should get in trouble. So what happens then? Then they get a divorce. My mom meets my stepdad um and my mom and my well first of all my family you should meet my mom and my aunt now they're bad they're bad what do you mean they're tell me there's something wrong i don't know what happened with them when they were younger but if you you ask my cousins, like, I didn't realize that I had, like, a crazy childhood until, like, I came out to L.A. And I would, like, do or say things. And they'd be like, no, that's not normal.

No, other families don't do that. My mom and my aunt got into a fist fight with women three months ago. How old are they? They're in their 50s. I love that. They're in their 50s they're in their 50s what are they fighting over my stepdad my mom my stepdad have been trying now these two get together these two motherfuckers hate each other okay so hold on let's go back for a second your mom cheats on your dad with my stepdad step

man with the guy with the long hair and these motherfuckers just fight do they get married though yes and i think i think 10 years just fight do they get married though yes and i think i think 10 years after they meet they get married okay but he's in your life now at this point yes from that i don't like him okay and i never and i don't like him i instantly remember all that shit i realize he's the same person from the whole thing and it makes me not like him right and my sister's like a baby with Are you living with your mom when they split? I'm living with my mom, yeah. Okay.

And how often are you seeing your dad? Now my dad turns into a weekend dad. Okay. Yeah. And he's also fishing sometimes too. So he's like- Gone. Yes.

And I think that there's like a lot of like, my mom's trying to make my stepdad my dad type thing right you know um and i do not like my stepdad at this point the first time we met we played break the ice and he aggressively i don't know how to explain my stepdad's personality but do you know the the the brother from stepbrothers that has the family in the car yeah that's how my stepdad is. So I remember the first time we met, we played break the ice and he really won. Like I'd never had an adult be like, yeah. Like...

Talking shit. Yeah, but like really from his heart, not even like, you know, sometimes I talk shit to kids to like make them better people. But this was like, he really was happy that he won against me. And I was so offended that I was like, in my head, I'm a kid and I'm like,

you're an adult. You shouldn't be winning this hard against me. I understand. And the, and he didn't get that. And I didn't like him from then on. It was became like a whole thing. And we didn't get along at all growing up.

We get along better now. Okay. So he's still, because I'm gone. He's still with your mom though they just got a divorce wow okay a few months ago and this is where the the fight comes in this is where the fight comes in again but the fight's been there but they um they're just together for years they fight all the time they don't really like each other and it's like it is

what it is and i'm like for me i growing up i didn't really i was like okay this is how people's lives are and then i would go to my friend's house and i'd be like oh your parents don't like they like each i'd see their parents kiss and i'd be weirded out i'd feel like it was something inappropriate like i wasn't supposed to look isn't it that's what i went to people's houses all the time like oh your mom gives you hugs huh yeah weird nobody's over here yelling at you yeah wait you didn't just get a shoe thrown at you because you didn't put it over there by the door like yeah like that cup doesn't come flying at your head because you left it in

the sink totally yeah yeah so um i go away to college and and well i mean they're just still together there's not much story they're just together and fighting for years. But they're trying to break up constantly. Since I'm in high school until now, they've been trying to break up. They keep getting back together, keep breaking up, keep getting back together. The whole family knows. It's a thing. That's what they're known for is they always break up and get back together.

And my stepdad has a band. What's he play? He's the lead singer. Oh, yeah. Can he sing? Yeah, he can sing. He can sing. Well, yeah, he can sing.

I don't know if he can sing now. He used to be able to sing years ago, but I don't really listen anymore. But he does. He has a band. They book local. Are they good? Are they all right? Are they a cover band? They're a a band. They like book local. Are they good? Are they all right?

Are they a cover band? They're a cover band. They sound like good. Like if you know my town, they sound good. They're like perfect for my town. Okay. You know what I mean? It's a small town.

They do the right songs. People dance. People have fun. People get drunk. But it's also like old motorcycle bars like and shit like that um so he has a band so this becomes a huge problem when they break up because my stepdad goes out and there's like old drunken groupies in our hometown and my mom keeps showing up this is currently my mom just keeps showing up to his band things and being like and

bringing a bunch of friends so it's fun so she he like he always calls me he's like i don't know how to tell her stop because then when she doesn't she like brings a bunch of people she makes it she's so smart and so manipulative so she knows how to get there and how to be welcome like if she brings enough people the whole band's gonna be like yeah have her keep coming she makes it like a party um but she does it so she can make sure that he's not talking to girls so one night he doesn't he doesn't invite her to a show and she's like that's weird so she goes out with her sister and whenever they're out drinking together they're like criminals dude they're anything can happen i just wait for a phone call from jail like it's like you've had that yeah we're coming back to that i mean i want to hear this i mean like i've just had people in my family going to

jail but yeah uh you're gonna hear it this is what it's leading up to um but my mom and my aunt are out and oh i should tell you my aunt starts dating the the the bass guitarist from the band so now they're both being crazy it's not and the they're both dating guys in the band yes and and the guy in the band and my aunt fight all the time too i think the guy in the the bass guitarist is on meth and it's a huge problem with him obviously he's wearing my grandpa's jewelry that he stole on his neck and he's like and is and is denying that it's my grandpa's we have to look at it every fucking day while he's got no teeth playing the bass guitar and my and i'm wearing it in front of you dude that's ridiculous so it says larry on it, man.

Your name's on Kenny, god damn it. That ain't true. It's still on my grandpa. So, yeah, she starts dating the guitarist, and they start showing up to the show together. It's a huge problem. There are constantly problems, and then it affects the band. Now the band's fighting because these two sisters are coming in and causing issues

so my aunt my sister get a call one night that the guys had a show and after the show these two young girls came back to my stepdad's house which my mom's moved out at this point and living in an apartment complex this is a few months ago. Who's calling? Who's the tip? I don't know. They got tips. It's a small town.

It's a small town. They got their feelers out. They got a hotline. Yeah. You can't go nowhere without these bitches coming. We call them the storm. Me and my cousin call them the storm because it feels like the wind picks up when they're on their way.

The wind picks up. Have you ever had the eye of the storm where it's eerily calm? Yeah, right in the middle of the wind. Dude, they're on their way. The wind picks up. Have you ever had the eye of the storm where it's eerily calm? Yeah, right in the middle of the way. Dude, we're like, the storm's coming. Me and my cousin will say it. Even when we were 10, 11, when they were about to get crazy,

we're like, the storm's about to break. I smell a storm abroon. Me and my cousin, I think it made us funny seeing our moms. I mean, our moms were 21 and 22 my aunt was 19 or 20

when she had my cousin which could have almost been vanilla ices cause she long story it was either

this dude or vanilla ice nah it was wait hold on your cousin there was a moment

where possibly vanilla ice could have been her dad the best way I could bully my cousin growing up was going up to him and going your cousin there was a moment where possibly Vanilla Ice could have been her dad the best way I could bully my cousin growing up was going up to him and going

ice ice baby then I would do it and he would get so pissed he would chase me and try to hit me and be like stop you're Vanilla Ice

baby yeah but so my aunt was 19 so it wasn't him it wasn't him no no no we found the guy.

It was a local band. A guy in a local band who we could never find again because there was no internet. And then we found him on Facebook a few years ago. A few years ago? Like eight years ago. You tracked her dad down? My cousin's dad, yeah. Oh, his dad.

Yeah, his dad, yeah. Okay, we'll come back to that. We're still, the storm's just about to hit. The storm's a-brewin'. So they get the tip. We'll come back to that. We're still the storms just about to hit. The storms are brewing. So they get the tip. So they get the tip. And what my sister tells me, my sister Haley is like very sweet and very normal and shouldn't even be in our family.

She should be off with a nice white family somewhere. You know, experiencing a good life with a fence and a dog. Just coming from a white family? That shit doesn't. just coming from a white family not you guys either okay not this yard okay i mean there is no fence you can walk right over wash the nails um okay yeah so my sister hayley tells me that my stepdad and and and his friend do bring a couple girls over. And she was like, but everybody was just having a good time. Like they're all drinking. She's there?

She still lives there? My sister lives there. She's still in high school at this point. And so, and she's like, dad even brought them out blankets and pulled out the futon so they could pass out on it. And at this point, the futon's pulled out. And my stepdad's made a bed. So if the girls do feel like they need to stay, they didn't feel like they needed to stay with him. My sister was like, dad was being so nice to them, blah, blah, blah.

And then my mom and my stepdad come through the door. Stepdad? I mean, my mom and my aunt come through the door. My mom has a key still. She refuses to give up the key. So there's no— And he won't change the lock? The storm can—no.

And he likes it. I think he likes it i think he likes it dude he's like it's like he's into it and because the fact that he has we've been telling him for 10 years i should i mean my sister's been like 10 years old and be like get a restraining order you idiot like we've all been like moron stop but he likes it um so she comes beats my sister is like they just started beating up the girls. Wait, these girls are laying on a futon? No, they're just sitting in the back porch having a nightcap.

Music's playing, my stepdad and the basses are giving them a little encore. And they just start getting their asses kicked. And they just start getting their asses kicked by these two old Puerto Rican women who are just drunk as fuck. I don't know if I should be telling this story. My sister says that what she sees, she comes out of the room, she sees my aunt and my mom each have a girl by the feet

and they're dragging them out and one girl's reaching for her shoe. My sister goes and runs and gives it to her and drag them out and throw them, lock the door on the girls one girl's reaching for her shoe. My sister goes and runs and gives it to her. Drag them out and throw them, lock the door. And the girls that were waiting for their keys, my sister had to sneak their keys out to them. They were hiding.

It must have been like get out for them. They're like hiding behind the car waiting for their keys. They don't know. They had no idea a storm was brewing. That's just the beginning. I'm sure your stepdad got a fucking bunch of it too. Oh, my God. I don't know what happened the rest of the night.

Oh, God. But that was bad. That was a bad one. And so, you know, after that, my stepdad was like, this is crazy. You know, they didn't see each other for a little bit. But then they always do this thing. And they're like, we're friends. We've been because they've been together since I was five. I'm 30. They didn't see each other for a little bit, but then they always do this thing and they're like, we're friends. Because they've been together since I was five. I'm 30.

I'm about to be 31. So they've been together for 26 years, a very long time. So they're also in love. I don't know how. They show it weird. They've showed no affection, but they do love being around each other.

I don't understand it. It's a weird, toxic love is how I see it. And I think they're both just afraid to like leave or change. They're both two people that are super scared of change.

I remember my stepdad being like because he was getting paid for his spot and he was like oh yeah we get paid a few hundred bucks and I do just a few around.

He was like I'd love to do this like as my career and I was like why don't you just book more places and quit your job. Just make up maybe make a little less but if you love doing this you don't like doing your job just like sacrifice a little bit of money and just do this forever

you you're gonna you've been working forever and he's like no i could never i'm like but if you get paid why not and that's the way i see things but i think they're both like very set in their ways and and glad to be together um but they they don't see each other for a while independently codependent but all toxic exactly yeah yeah so my mom's doing this thing we're like they they're they have a door they give they officially sign the divorce papers it takes so long me and my sisters are like we're cutting you both off until you sign the papers. You can be together, but we're not going to talk to either of you. We're all sick of it.

At this point, we're all sick of it. We're like, put them all in jail. Please, get them out of our face. And they still see each other. They just can't stop seeing each other. And my mom has a boyfriend, and she's still going to my stepdad's shows. Do they still hook up? I don't know.

Probably is what I'm guessing. But your mom has a boyfriend. Does he have a girlfriend now? He doesn't have a girlfriend. She doesn't let him have a girlfriend, but she has a boyfriend. Because she'll come over and chase the bitches out of the house. He tried to have a girlfriend, and my mom found her phone number and called her bitches out of the house. He tried to have a girlfriend and she... He tried to have a girlfriend and my mom found her phone number and called her and I think threatened her.

It's not funny. It's abuse. It's abuse. She's abusing him. She's abusing him. But look, if you take it for 20 years, you get what you deserve. But if you were saying that to a woman, it'd be horrible. It would be horrible, but also also if you stayed for 20 fucking six years of any person i don't care what sex

you are or what you identify as you gotta go you gotta fucking go yeah it's time to go okay i'm no i'm in no way saying that someone should do this to you but if you know i don't know maybe five years you know what's your limit it's not it in a year for me you know but 26 years he is definitely going to keep getting six months is my limit six months is like the farthest i'll go now i'll go just simply changing the locks that have been something if you would have changed the locks not letting you in no windows breaking whatever then the police come they don't have to worry about it yeah exactly i got a peaceful night's sleep except for that window except for the window um so tell me about your um locating your cousin's uh father then but did he not know or would he just bounce well before this happens my mom finds my stepdad recently at his show and she texts me when i'm

on my way to joshua tree this is the last part she's actually and she texts me when I'm on my way to Joshua Tree. This is the last part. She's actually, and she texts me cause sometimes I just don't answer. She's too much. She texts me emergency and I'm like, fuck, this is it. Someone's died. I always wait for that call, you know?

And I, I answered and she's like, Oh my gosh, your stepdad's in jail. And I was like, what happened? And she's like, well,

I went to a show and I was like, that's it. I don't want to hear it. And she's like, well, he pushed me down and I'm like, good. He should beat you there. I don't want to hear it. And she's like, well, he pushed me down. And I'm like, good. He should beat you up.

You are stalking him. Literally, I was like, you should be in jail. Stop stalking him. He should have beat you harder. Am I wrong for that? I mean, you can say it. You can only stalk a man for so long. Yeah, 26 years. 26 years.

And all he did was shove you down. Please. Just go. Please. He should have was shove you down please just go please he should have shoved you down a few times why did he shove her because she showed up

and probably was being crazy and he just couldn't take it anymore pushed her he's just trying to do his show man he just works hard he's trying to sing

my black eyed peas shit he works a 9 to 5 and he just wants to do his show at the country club down the street please and live in peace let the man live He works a nine to five and he just wants to do a show at the country club down the street. Please. And live in peace.

Let the man live. So he ends up all the time. He ends up going to jail. Dude, he gets the brunt of it. Your mom's beating people and everything else. Ever since then, we cut my mom off. And now she's like, I want to change. She's decided to go. She says she's gone sober.

She hasn't drank. She's off antidepressants and she's going to do an ayahuasca trip. Oh, shit. Okay. So we'll see how that goes. We'll see how that goes. I was like, what? You should just try therapy.

And she's like, no, ayahuasca is therapy in one weekend. That's exactly what she said. I believe it. No, I'm just going to do all that work in two days. Yeah, my therapist is like, she doesn't want to do the work. That's good. That's good. That's good. Healthy.

But yeah. So my cousins, yeah. Your cousin's dad. So was he just a musician that bounced early on? Or did he not know that he ever got, I mean, imagine. He had no idea. Really? He didn't know it?

Was he not a local guy? It was a one night stand. And he was out of there. They were touring in puerto rico they were like my aunt described them as like an up-and-coming band that like everybody knew and my mom and her they got a thing for the band the storm loved the bands i see my mom pictures of with my mom with um pantera and yeah and um uh rage against the. And I'm like, what were you doing after hours sitting at a pool table with Rage Against the Machine?

She's like, oh, they were my friends. I'm like, were they? Were they your friends? Or were you fucking them? But yeah, they went to go see a local band. And I think my aunt had a one night stand. Then the band left and I think that

probably wasn't easy to locate a touring band with no internet in 1989 and so what how did you find him

so were you look was he looking for him we didn't start. I love that it was either this guy or Vanilla Ice too. It's so, it's, I love it. They love the musicians.

You know, and right now I am, uh, one of Vanilla Ice's, someone that works on his tour. I don't know if he's like an assistant or something. He follows me and all the time he'll invite me to things, but I'm just like always busy when he invites me or I'll be gone. He's like, come to the Vanilla Ice thing. and i want to just to tell him that he was almost my cousin's dad almost my cousin's dad it was you or another dude um but um my cousin just starts asking questions about his dad once we and me and my cousin grew up together like my mom um and and her sister like always bought houses next to each other.

Or we lived in like, what are those things that are split? Townhouse? Yeah, something like that. Or duplex. Duplex. So you would live together? Yeah. Oh, the storm stayed together then.

The storm never stops a-brewing, dude. It never ends. It's under the same roof. Yeah, that's how they get electricity when they're together it's me and my cousin now that we're adults

you should see our faces we're like ugh these two um but so me and my cousin were super close

so when when we started getting like my space and stuff I started uh I think my cousin or my aunt

found a clipping in her childhood stuff of the the tour and she could never remember the guy's name wow it was just one night and she found a clipping of the band she remembered the name of the band and um it had the guy's name in it and then so we started looking up uh i think at that point I had Facebook, MySpace, Facebook. I think it was Facebook. And I started looking him up and I couldn't find anyone. I couldn't find anyone. So then I just started using his last name.

And I started just sending my aunt and my cousin a bunch of people that could look like my cousin. And we found this one girl who looked just like my cousin no way yes i like way deep down in all of and the last name was kind of specific it was like italian and so it was like mostly in one area and we found one girl that looked just like her and they contacted him and it was the guy and that we asked her if her dad was this guy's name. And if he was in this band, she said yes. And it was him. And then they. And he was floored.

He had no idea. He had no idea. He had a wife and kids. They live in Jersey. Really nice Italian family. He did a DNA test and everything. And then he sent over a DNA test. Wow, good.

My cousin did a DNA test and it matched. And then he bought him like right away a plane ticket to come see him and meet him. And my cousin was so happy because he had wanted a dad his whole life. Now he has this guy who's like a great guy telling him he wished he knew the whole time. Yeah, that sucks. It's super sweet. He got to meet his grandfather who passed away I think a year later. That's nice.

How old was your cousin when he finally met his dad? 17 or 18 damn wow all right so there's plenty of time left there's plenty of time so now they go every year and see him my cousin has almost three kids now two and a half does um does his father know about how bad the storm is and no i think they leave him out of it you know my i think my cousin's done a good job of being like your aunt never talked to him or said hello? No, I think she did. I think they talked on the phone or FaceTime.

She didn't go with him to meet him. I don't think that's necessary, but she did, like, you know, they contact each other. It's nice. That's awesome. Yeah, it's really great. That's a great story. It's super sweet. So, well, you said your mom is a narcissist and your dad's an alcoholic so let's i want to hear

more of this shit this is good um i feel like i should have should be paying you for this you're good girl you guys you guys get deep on this podcast huh yeah um yeah i mean my dad like i said he's like frank gallagher from shamelesseless. Like I remember, I think a few Christmases ago, he, he comes over every Christmas cause there him and my stepdad, at one point when my mom moved out, my dad moved this pop-up camper that my mom, my mom and my stepdad let him borrow a pop-up camper and he had it in the, in the, in this campsite he was living in it. And that was his house. That was his house? That was his house.

And my dad just, if you ask me where he lives right now, I think a boat. I think he is fixing a boat. Is he still fish or is he retired now? He just bought a boat with his pandemic stimulus. His STEMI.

His STEMI. He got a boat. He had no unemployment, and then I helped him do it, and so he got like three months back pay at once. So he got like 15 grand and went and bought a boat. He'd never had that much money at the same time, so he went and bought a boat, and now he's naming his boat the Nancy Pelosi.

People are going to sink that down but it's pelo s-e-a and um where was i going with him oh yeah so uh so he comes over during holidays and hangs out and he he even moved in with my stepdad at one point. The pop-up camper got destroyed in a storm. And a lightning bolt hit a tree. This is what my dad said. A lightning bolt hit a tree. The tree fell over and it broke the top of the camper. And so he wheels this broken camper back.

And he's like, I'm going to just keep it here and live in it. And my mom's like, all right. So he spends like Christmas with gonna just keep it here and live in it and my mom's like all right um so he spends like christmas with us christmas eve with us gets so drunk when christmas eve falls asleep by the fire outside we wake up on christmas morning my mom's like go wake up your dad in the yard so we can open presents i have to go i have to go nudge him it's just like old smoke and like morning dew i'm like it's christmas get up santa cane and he's like oh your old dad did it again huh it's like oh god but he's friends with your stepdad yeah and he's also so funny they sound like they're good guys like for them to at least get along they're the thing that's fucked up about my family is they're all good people i

know i'm saying horrible things about them but like they're all trying they're all really trying to be good people but they just had fucked up childhoods too and they didn't work on themselves and and that wasn't cool when they were kids or when they were adults and now we're in this time where it's like working on yourself when you can just fist fight people yeah exactly yeah so um they're all trying to be cool, but they're so fucked up. But it also makes them very interesting. Like it's not boring at our house ever. Good health starts with good habits. Quip makes it easy by delivering all the oral care essentials you need to care for your mouth.

The Quip electric toothbrush is loved by over 7 million mouths. And it has time sonic vibrations with 30 second pulses to guide a dentist recommended two minute clean it's got a lightweight and sleek design with no worries or bulky charger to weigh you down beyond the brush quip has everything you need to build a complete routine it's got anti-cavity toothpaste in mint or watermelon that helps prevent cavities it's got refillable mouthwash that's four times concentrate. Plus it's good for you and the planet with stylish and affordable electric brushes starting at just $25. If you go to getquip.com slash honeydew right now, you'll get

your first refill for free. That's your first refill free at getquip.com slash honeydew. I'm going to spell it for you. G-E-T-Q-U-I-P.com slash honeydew. Quip, the good habits company. It's never too early to start gift shopping for the holidays, especially because today you can save big on a gift they'll use every day, Raycon wireless earbuds. With seamless Bluetooth pairing and a comfortable noise isolating fit, you can start listening right away and keep listening for hours. The audio quality is amazing, except Raycon starts at half the price. The new everyday earbuds come with three new sound profiles to make sure everything you're listening to sounds its best. The pure mode, there's the balance mode, and they have the bass mode. Raycon offers eight hours of playtime and a 32-hour battery life. There's also a built-in mic and you can take calls

on your earbuds at the press of a button. So this holiday season, get them something they can use for calls or music for work or play at home or on the go. Trust me, you're going to use them every day. Go to buyraycon.com slash honeydew today to unlock exclusive deals up to 20% off your Raycon order. But hurry, this offer is available for a limited time only and you won't want to miss it. That's buyraycon.com slash honeydew to unlock up to 20% off your Raycons. Buyraycon.com slash honeydew. As a parent, there's nothing better than watching your child's imagination in action as they unlock new ways of seeing the world.

And Little Passports offers award-winning play-based kits to fuel curiosity through fun, hands-on activities. They'll love the feeling of discovery almost as much as you'll love watching them explore. And whether they're exploring the science of optical illusions or art in Spain, your child will love the feeling of discovering something new every month with a Little Passport subscription. Each month, Little Passport ships kits full of hands-on activities that let your child take the reins in exploring the world around them. So this holiday, give the young explorer in your life a world of adventure. Get 20% off any new subscription with promo code HONEYDOO at littlepassports.com. Order by December 20th for

Christmas delivery. Free shipping is included. That's LittlePassports.com, promo code HONEYDOO. Make sure you get that order in by December 20th so you get it for Christmas. Free shipping is included. Again, that's LittlePassports.com, promo code HONEYDOO. Now, let's get back to the do. There's always something happening. I went out with my mom one night. I come back home. My mom always has new friends. That's how you know she's toxic. She always got a new best friend.

So she's got this new friend. I'm not going to say her name. But she's hanging out with my mom all the time. My mom's like, she's so cool. She's so fun. I think she's kind of annoying, but it's fine. So we're hanging out and she brings over over she has a nephew who's like a little a few years older than me he seems off he just seems like um he's wearing the same clothes

i saw people wearing in the early 2000s he's wearing the back snapcat the long shirts he looks like a like an old florida pill dealer to me and i'm like oh i hope she didn't bring her nephew to like so we can hang out so we're all hanging out and then everything's fine they go home the next day me and my mom are going to downtown together to drink so we go to downtown we're all out have a nice drink so we see my mom's friend and her nephew um and and he buys me a drink and i'm like, okay, this is kind of rude. This is recent, right? This is within the last two years. Yeah,

this is a pretty recent story and they leave. They don't hang out for that long and me and my mom get pretty drunk at this bar. We're having such a good time. We leave this bar. We go get pizza.

We're eating pizza. We're on and we're walking. We just pay this guy. He's playing guitar on the sidewalk and we hit this corner. She pay this guy. He's like playing guitar on the sidewalk. And we hit this corner. She loves those musicians.

She loves. She can't stay away. She can't stay away. I felt a little thunderbolt when she heard the guitar. It pissed her off. She's like, I don't know what my stepdad's doing. We turn the corner and we see her friend and the nephew making out. Wait.

Hard making out. Wait, that lady's making out with her own nephew with her own nephew no and she's like 50 something and he's like 27 28 is this her blood nephew her blood nephew get the fuck out and they're hard making do they see you see them yes no yes we run right into them. No. Dude, I have a periscope now. Weinshank says her and her mom

watch this periscope like over and over again of the moment me and my mom caught them and I went live on periscope and we ran away. I go, we just caught my mom's friend

making out with her nephew. I was hammered. I'm like telling the whole story. Sarah's like, it's one of the funniest periscopes ever. But like, they were making out hard

and then they just looked at us. She grabbed him by the hand, and she ran away. And my mom goes, she says her name. I'm going to make up a name. She goes, Anna, it's your nephew. And she just flips us the bird and runs away with him. Get the fuck out of here. A couple weeks later, she just comes back over with him

and pretends yes and still pretends it's her nephew and pretends they're not together and hangs out and proceeds to drink with us is it her nephew yes but they're dating dating they're not just like doing a weird fucking thing they're actually a couple they're always together i see them like five or six more times. I have to pretend I don't know this. I'm like, it's like weird. It's like oddly like watching weird porn in real life. Yeah, that is.

I'm watching a sexual tension between an aunt and a nephew. Are they affectionate? No. Not in front of you? Nope. Not any sweet ear hugs or none of that? They're just rolling together. Their aunt and nephew. They're just rolling together. They're on to nephew.

He calls her Titi. That is fucked up. I can't believe you walked into it. You know what was disturbing is I went on her Facebook and I saw a picture of him when he was like 10 and her when she was like 25. And she was like, I love my nephews. And I'm like, that's weird. I'm going to fuck this one in a few years. Yeah. But I'm like, that's weird. I'm going to fuck this one in a few years. Yeah.

But I'm like, that's weird. That's weird. And to have a relationship, it's like. It's different if you stumble upon a nephew that you didn't know about. And I'm not even going to defend this. It's all wrong. It's all wrong. It would be better if that wasn't your blood.

If that was like your husband's whatever from that side you consider that a nephew through marriage you know kind of hot that's like your siblings child that is fucking disgusting yeah man and then they have her that's what I'm saying and it wasn't

just like she's like I fucked my nephew once like they're having a public relationship in public I don't know if this is a really bad detail dad but he just died what yeah It wasn't just like she's like, I fucked my nephew once. Like they're having a public relationship. In public. I don't know if this is a really bad detail to add, but he just died. What? Yeah. Why? I don't know.

Did she kill him? I don't think so. I was probably from, I mean, I would assume drugs. But I don't know if I can say. I don't want to get sued, but I don't. Well, you can just say assumptions. Yeah. I'm assuming drugs.

So now who's she going to bang? The other nephew? I don't know. She sued but I don't know well you can just say assumptions yeah I'm assuming drugs so now who's she gonna bang the other nephew I don't know she might be running out of family yeah that is she's gonna come around

and be like this is my uncle I'm like oh fuck dude your mom and you did you talk to your mom more about that like this is a newer friend which is what you said right

well the thing that's fucked up is like when my mom told me she was like so and so's nephew died you text me that I'm like that's not her nephew that's someone she fucks she was like, so-and-so's nephew died. You text me that. I'm like, that's not her nephew. That's someone she fucks. We can't.

You can't keep calling him a nephew. Dude, no. Enough. I'm putting a stop to this. Her boyfriend. Her boyfriend. Who also happens to be her nephew. Nephew is second at this point.

It's so disturbing to me. It is fucked up. You guys saw it. That's crazy. I'll never forget it. No, that one burned forever. It's like seeing Bigfoot, dude. It's like seeing Bigfoot.

That is fucked up. All right. Tell me. I want to hear about your gator. So I want to hear some college stories. You have some college stories? College stories? Or gator stories? You have actual gator stories? I have actual alligator. You have some college stories? College stories? Or gator stories?

You have actual gator stories? I have actual alligator. You have real gator stories? I've almost gotten eaten by an alligator. What do you mean? Okay, so when I was younger, I was best friends with this girl in school. And her parents went on like a few vacations a year. And my family didn't.

So her parents would always bring – I was the poor brown friend that would go on the vacation with the white friend i was i'll tell you right now well you said your mom's puerto rican what's your dad my stepdad's white but what about your dad my dad is uh white as well his mom was native american he's got like very tan skin but he also like lived in puerto rico he speaks more spanish than my mom so when i say, it almost feels wrong because he's like, he almost seems native to me in a way. Um, but he's white. Um, but,

um, uh, we would go on vacation and one year we went to this place. It was the Springs and Florida has these Springs that, um, you can like canoe in and swim in and they're really cool. Uh, and I went with this girl's family. And when I was younger,

I didn't realize it. But now that I'm older, I know that this woman was an alcoholic and her husband probably was too. And they drank a lot, but I didn't, I just thought they were really fun when I went on vacation with them. So during the day, the springs are cool and they're filled with like hundreds of people. And so like, it's fine and they're see-through and you can see everything. But there was, this is kind of weird. Now that I'm telling the story, this is kind of a weird thing to do. We would swim during the day

and then there was one night that we were hanging out with her mom and her mom was like, let's play truth or dare. And we're like, okay. And she like dare, and she would always dare us to do silly things. Like I dare you to run around in your bra around the camper once.

And it was like kind of fun and just like cute or maybe weird i don't know a little bit did i get molested oh no um no but it was like cute she was just like hanging out with the girls and we'd scream and she'd be like okay you know um and um then she dared us to jump into the spring at night. Knowing there'd be alligators potentially in there? There was no alligators during the day. So that's why I thought she thought it was okay. But now that I'm an adult and I live in Florida,

I would never even put a child in a dark pool at night because you never know. The gators get in everything. So the fact that she dared all of her kids and her kids friends to jump in all of you not just one person all of us to go night swimming not just jump in and jump out we brought tubes we brought like swimming gear we're snorkel gear we're going underwater snorkeling dude in the middle of the night the moon is out i'm on this floaty we all get in we're snorkel gear we're going underwater snorkeling dude in the middle of the night the moon is out i'm on this floaty we all get in we're like ah and she doesn't get in she's standing from the side is did this bitch try to kill me all of you she tried to kill did she try to kill us

hold on i'm losing my mind right now. It sounds fucked up. How many kids? Me, my friend, her little brother, and the two next door neighbors, which grew up with them. They all grew up at the same time. So five children in this water. Damn, and you're all in. Splashing away. Nobody else.

And it is like the size of a lake. It is a huge body of water. And the only way to get in is like the stairs. They kind of threw us in over the edge of the wall. So the only way to get out is you have to swim across the lake onto the stairs. Or like someone has to pull you up from like the wall and it kind of hurts. It scrapes your knee. And we're in the water.

I'm in a tube. The kids are all in the water. And I'm in a tube on my stomach. And I'm floating. And I'm just a tube. The kids are all in the water, and I'm in a tube on my stomach, and I'm floating. And I'm just watching the way – I've never been in water at night because my parents didn't want me to die. So I'm watching the way the moon's reflecting on the water, and it's really cool to me. I've never seen that before. So I'm sort of on my stomach.

I'm like 10 years old, and I'm like watching. And on each side of the reflection reflection I see two yellow eyes no two pairs probably like 20 feet away you see them like the just too glowing I look at the moon I look down and I see two glowing eyes and they start coming towards me and then go under and I see nothing and I fully panicked I don't know how I got to that wall so fast. I did this thing. I got to the wall. And I don't know how I balanced. I don't know how this happened. I balanced on this tube. I stood up on it, on each side of it without flipping the tube and jumped on the wall and dangled from it until one of them pulled me up and just screaming. And they pull me out and I'm

having like a panic attack. And I'm like saw something in water and they're like there's nothing in the water there's no gators in here earlier and as i'm crying i'm not breathing someone pulls up in a golf cart and goes you better get those kids out of there this place is full of gators at night god i don't know how i stood up on the tube it was like halfway inflated you know those black ones and i don't know how i went from on the tube. It was like halfway inflated. You know those black ones that look like donuts? Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. And I don't know how I went from my stomach to standing on it just to get away. Four fucking eyes.

Four eyes both coming towards me and swear to God and then under. And the second she pulls me out and says that, she was still like drying me off with a towel while I'm crying. And someone pulls up. And everyone was still in the water at this point. Jesus Christ. Yeah, you're lucky. And they start yanking the kids out of the water.

I mean, every single one of you would have died if one gator bites, it's over. Everyone's going. Yeah, they're all coming over. Jesus Christ. It's weird. That is very, yeah. I mean, the bra thing is way less dangerous.

I wish you just molest me, dude. is very yeah i mean the bra thing is way less dangerous i would wish i wish i would just molest me dude please just touch my newly formed nips if you have to don't throw me in the lake could you imagine that my mother getting that news that i got ate by an alligator in the middle of the night could you imagine babysitting kids and and then you're watching all five of them get eaten by alligators and you're fucking right in your face. What if I wouldn't have seen that? What if I would have been playing with the other kids were all splashing behind me. I was being a weirdo in the night looking at the moon reflection.

And you never would have known. They would have grabbed you and rolled over and it's over for you. You're done. Yeah. That's crazy. That is fucking nuts. That lady should not be allowed to babysit children. God damn. That same day. You allowed to babysit children. Mm-mm. God damn.

That same day. You know what's weird, too? That same day during the day. So the springs in Florida, where you can swim and stuff. Where in Florida are you when this is? This must be near Gainesville. Okay. Because that's where they all are.

And I think it was called Wekiva Springs. And it's really cool and beautiful. And there are like springs that are more swampy that you canoe in. And then they go off into clear springs where like everyone swims, where you can see what's going on. And there's not like the gators don't,

this is just what Florida says. The gators don't come out when the people are there. They just don't. They're more scared because there's a bunch of people, which is still kind of weird. but when we were in the canoe area they made us go on an eight mile canoe trip we're like kids and they did flip the canoe right after we saw an alligator the dad flipped the canoe and we all flipped over by accident and this is i must have had a will i must have had a will to survive because the canoe fully flipped

and i held on to it upside down until they flipped it over again and stayed in the bitch and they both fell out and i remember i was like it like flipped and flew into a bush and i was upside down in this marsh and they like flipped it over but i'm like were they trying to kill us now that i'm telling this story were they trying to kill us? Now that I'm telling this story, were they trying to kill us? It sounds like it. It fucking sounds like it. It fucking sounds like it. I'm going to have to hit up that friend

because she hates her parents now. Oh, really? I follow her on social media and she just talks about how horrible they are. On social media? On social media. And she's like,

they're horrible people. They've always been horrible people. On social media? On social media, constantly. I have to check on her. I'm like, are you okay? So I'm going to ask her if they tried to kill us and i'll get back to you i want to know because that's fucked up because now that i'm retelling the story i'm like i would never there's no way i could first i wouldn't flip a canoe that we're in after right after

seeing an alligator right after seeing let kids swim at night anyway in florida right after seeing an alligator that was after that they dared us to jump in the water so you're how is your relationship with your mom now um you know i i if you i don't know if you grew up with any narcissists but if you have um you don't really realize it for a long time because they like trick you into thinking that like it's everybody else but them and so so uh growing up with my mom I had a really really close relationship with her and then around like 17 or 18 I started to like wise up a little bit um And it got really rocky for a few years. And I had like a very great therapy session one time

where I was told to just like not even worry about what she's doing. And that has helped a lot. Good. And now I am, we get along um pretty well but i am trying to change our relationship from her depending on me as a friend to her like giving her boundaries to be my mother where i'm like you can't tell me that i don't want to know this about you

and i will just like hang up and so i'm'm working on that currently. So our relationship's fine. I mean, it's a work in progress. Yeah. So. And how about your dad? Are you close with your dad? My dad, I am close with him. Like he, this is the thing. My dad recently got sober while he was working on the boat.

I think he just finished the boat like a week ago. And I know that because he started drinking again. So he wasn't working on the boat for like months and months. And he would call me all the time. And we didn't talk a lot before because he always only called me when he was drunk. And it's not like he was saying anything mean or anything. It's just like he talks too much. And it's like I just don't answer because it's like I don't want to talk to someone that's drunk.

It's just not fun. Yeah. So we had, it felt like we were getting closer, but now he's drinking again. And now I'm like, if I get a call after 9 p.m., I know it's midnight back home. I'm like, I don't answer.

So we don't talk as much. I see. So we're kind of close. I mean, we're friends. Me and my parents, like I don't have any like parents. I have like friends. It feels like.

What about your stepdad i mean you say your things are better now and i caught you saying he actually calls you and tells you about your mom and stuff yeah so you have that kind of relationship where he can call you or he just does it does to complain i mean we don't really have a relationship super close when i see him we get along i it's so funny because i get along with any of them because of the work i've done it's not really like anything that they're doing so i'm like yeah we get along because i choose to but i i've seen this meme that goes around a lot that says um i go to therapy for for the people in my life that won't yes you know what i mean i go to i go to deal with the people in my life that

fucking won't do it yeah and learn how to deal with that so i can still have you in my life because you are fucked up and won't do anything about it exactly that's exactly how i feel except this fight um yeah that's exactly how i feel totally okay so after everything we've talked about because 16 is a pivotal moment i feel like in an age for a lot of people going back and looking at it now, what advice would you give to your 16 year old self? Buy Bitcoin. Yeah. All of it. All of it.

Put all of your money into Bitcoin and just wait. That's it. No. Yeah. I don't know. That's a really hard question I guess you know

I guess the advice that I would give to any 16 year old which would be myself as well is that like everything sucks sometimes and things just get better

and then they're gonna suck a little and then they get better and that's sort of the cycle of life so don't get too down when things suck right

cause it's just this is part of it. It's all cyclical. It's up and down. And yeah, it just gets. People get so down when things happen that are bad. And I go, aren't you used to this? Right. We've all been doing this forever.

It's fine. It'll be fine. But also some people, I remember sitting here, I'm not sure who our guest was. It was like, wow, everything was good. It might've been Brooks Whelan until like 25 or 27. I was like, wow, you had a decent run. You had a good run, you know, before it all started falling off. It was way before that for us, you know, and you too, obviously. Thank you so much for coming on and doing the show. Will you please promote your everything you want again? Yeah,

of course. I gave you guys my show dates. I'm not going everything you want again? Yeah, of course. I gave you guys my show dates. I'm not going to pull out my phone again, but I'll put them on my social media. You can follow me on Twitter, at Kimberly Congdon, on TikTok and Instagram, at Kim Congdon.

I also stream on Twitch. I'm really excited about that. I'm starting to build up my channel. I'm getting a PC. So follow me on twitch.tv slash queen kong1 that's C-O-N-G one. If you have

Amazon Prime you can subscribe for free. And I have my own podcast called Broad Topics T-O-P-I-X. You can find that

on YouTube, iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, anywhere you find podcasts, the Gas Digital Network. And Sarah Weinshank

and I are also starting a podcast coming out so keep a lookout for that. It's Thicky Kimmy and Shank coming to you soon. I love it. I love it.

And thank you so much for having me. This is really, really great. I'm glad. I'm glad that you came on. This was a great episode. Thank you. As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week.