The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Krystyna Hutchinson - HoneyHutchinson

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

 My HoneyDew this week is comedian, Krystyna Hutchinson! (Guys We Fcked Podcast, Our Special Day) Krystyna Highlights the Lowlights of her mother's battle with mental illness, multiple suicide attempts, cutting her parents out of her life, and recently finding out her father is not her biological father! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: How To Buy A Home Podcast -Listen to the How to Buy a Home Podcast today for your step-by-step guide for buying your first home! Upstart -Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to https://www.Upstart.com/HONEYDEW. Use our URL to let them know we sent you! Noom Mood -Worry less and feel happier. Sign up for your trial at https://www.NoomMood.com/HONEYDEW 

Music Boston, I'm headed your way March 31st to April 2nd. Get your tickets at ryancickler.com. Let's get this tea party started. The Honeydew with Brian Zickler. The Honeydew with Brian Zickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpant Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media. Look, I just want to say thank you.

I say it every week, and I mean it every time I say it. Thank you for the messages. Thank you for the love. You're changing my life too, all right. You want to change it even more? Hit that subscribe on the YouTube, y'all. You know what I'm saying? It's a free way to help the podcast. All right. If you got to have more honeydew, then you got to check out the Patreon. It's every Thursday. You're getting a honeydew a day early ad free at no additional cost. It's five bucks. If you're in for the long haul, sign up for a year. You're getting over a month free.

All right. The stories are wild. We're not going anywhere anytime soon. The honeydew with y'all, y'all. All right. Now, get your tickets for all my tour dates at ryansickler.com. So, you know what we do over here? We highlight the lowlights.

I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest. First time here on The Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Christina Hutchinson. Welcome to The Honeydew, girl. Hello. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you for being here as well. I know you've been patiently waiting out there, but I've been patiently waiting because I'm telling you, I've been a fan for a long time. I've been watching what you guys do, not only as comedians but as as business women out there and you guys fucking made some real goddamn moves so congrats to you yeah appreciate that um please before we get into what we're going to get into um on deck uh will you plug promote everything yeah absolutely our special day is the debut stand-up comedy special of myself and corinne fisher we self-produced it corinne directed it and is available to watch for free on youtube.com slash guys we fucked without the u and fucked um which is also our social

media handles i got i'm at christina hutch on all platforms and um yeah should i do tour dates or yeah i'm gonna be may 12th in uh london uh May 13th in Dublin, and, oh, April 9th. That's out of order, but I'll be in Miami for a Bitcoin conference. Really? And I get paid partially in Bitcoin. I haven't dived in yet. It's all right. I did early, and then I pulled out because I made $10,000, and I was like, I'm a millionaire.

But if I would have kept that in for three more years, I would have been a hundred millionaire. So, you know, you live and you learn. So that just, my thing is like, you could collect all that, but if you don't have somebody to buy it, you don't get the money, right? I don't think, when you sell it, it's like a stock. So you sell it whenever you want.

It just depends on the price. But somebody's got to buy it. I don't think so. To give you cash, right? I don't think so to give you cash right i don't think so no i've sold because when i sold it you didn't get cash instantly went to my bank the money but u.s dollars yeah right okay that's what i mean i i'm sorry when i'm saying cash i mean american u.s dollars oh yeah so someone's gotta trade you u.s dollars for your bitcoin obviously to cash it out yeah and it's a mystery who that is.

Right. It's just some guy. And I guess the government, everybody's waiting for the government to go, oh, you have $100 million? We think that's worth $3. Right. Yeah. And then you're fucked.

But when it transfers to your Chase account. Yeah. But if you can get it, that's what I'm saying. If you get it now, get it. Yeah. Okay. So I'm very excited to have you sit here because your email came in too. And you have something that's been going on.

We've had a few conversations lately about suicide and things like that, which is always, it's always, yeah, unfortunately. And you had said your mom, but before we get to that, just tell me a little bit about your background. Like, where are you from? Where'd you grow up? Yeah. So I spent a lot of my childhood in um chesapeake virginia because my dad was in the navy and uh from age two to ten mom was very mentally ill uh no one talked about it she would do i have an older brother who eight years older than me very i who i'm very very close with thank god i have him i feel like i'm we're war buddies um we've been in the trenches of my my home uh it's very important that i have somebody else whose experiences um

it was one of those things where when you grow up in the environment you grow up and you think that's what everybody has like you don't you don't know that it's different but you're like i'm pretty sure this sucks uh but i was very imaginative and very, I would just get lost in my imagination. So I spent a lot of time alone playing. But yeah, mom was very mentally ill. There was one period where she lived in a car. While married to your dad? Yeah.

We had a house built in Virginia and then we moved into it. And then there was, yeah, it was very confusing. So we lived in there for a couple of years into living there. I was maybe four. She lived in a car and I was like, where's mom? Where? Outside or like another location? I think she drove to the beach.

She drove to another location. And had a house. We had a giant house, a beautiful, I just, I remember like as a kid, I appreciated how beautiful our house was i really did and uh she would my brother told me this recently she would sneak into the house we one time we were out to eat we would always go to old country buffet uh it was me my brother my dad and we were coming back and we were pulling into the garage and my mom was in the garage and i i was in like a car seat in the back so i was like i couldn't tell but my i heard my brother like mom

she went into the garage to steal my brother's rollerblades so she could sell them at a flea market and buy him a birthday present because a couple days later there was like a nut like a phone she bought him like a landline phone like one of the see-through ones with all the colored things and he's like i wanted those i don't want a phone so that shit would happen but what do you like okay well that's obvious there's something wrong there yeah but i'm a little kid so i'm like oh mom's back oh mom's going dad's not talking much about it with you guys because you're little don't you wish they would have treated us more like adults then because even though it fuck us up at least make more sense in the end when we go to work on it right because because what a kid does i've learned i've i've read this book called the body keeps the score that changed me um basically about how trauma lives in your body

and so uh the author talks about ptsd and veterans but uh it also is similar in kids who experience adverse childhood experiences which is what they're called technically um and there's like a long list of them and you can fuck your kid up very easily i mean you could you could look at them weird and it fucks them up like it's not not just one time but you know consistently looking at them without a smile without a happy face will fuck up a kid's psyche um and so, so yeah, no one talked about it. She hallucinated a lot on medications because the doctors put her on a lot of medications. They weren't listening to her when she said that they weren't working and they were making her things worse. They're like, yeah, just

give it a couple more, you know, months. And yeah, she was always, like her emotions were always paramount. Like we kind of bowed down and looked to her of like can we do this is this okay like should we go out to eat is mom okay well if mom's not okay we'll just stay home and eat you know peanut butter and butter sandwiches but we ate that a lot healthy diet peanut butter and butter i've never had that yeah country butter jelly oh i had the country crock spread for sure and then you recycle that tub oh you don't you don't throw that tub away no you keep that tub for leftovers yep yep or a sandbox mix sandcastle so what kind of what memories of your mom do you have that were positive like was she was she was she she wanted to be a good mom okay so she was she wanted crazy but she wasn't a bad person. Well, no, she's not a bad person for sure.

But it's so many layers. Oh, so many layers. She wanted to, like she dressed me up a lot. She always wanted a little girl. And my brother and I were eight years apart. She had a lot of miscarriages before she had me. And there was one instance, she told me this where uh she had to get rushed to the hospital when she was about seven months pregnant and there was

there had been a giant tumor in the womb with me um that they they got on the scan about four months into her pregnancy with me and so they were monitoring it and then about seven months in they had to rush her to the hospital because she was bleeding and while you're in her belly yeah holy shit and they took a scan and everything was fine and the tumor was gone so i'm like i probably ate it because i i what happens is when you're a parent with depression you and i'm a sensitive kid i think i think i would have been born sensitive either way you you only focus on their needs because and it's something I've learned in therapy. My therapist is a trauma specialist.

She said when a child's nervous system cannot handle the fact that a parent can't take care of them or a parent doesn't want to take care of them because a child will die. There's been a lot of studies on this. There's been a lot of studies on this. There was a famous World War II study where in orphanages, all the babies that got food, clothing, diaper changes, but not all of them were held by nurses because there wasn't enough staff. The babies that weren't held died even though they got everything they needed. Even though they got the care. They needed touch. So that's how sensitive we are.

Skin on skin. I remember skin on skin. Skin on skin. Remember skin on skin on skin. But they all there's also another really important thing where for the child's emotional health, the child needs to experience their parent being joyful just because the kid is happy. Like she worded it much better than this. But like basically the child needs to experience their their parent really just loving them just because they exist. Like that's it. I say it all the time. Like your fucking bullshit trip to

europe and i want to go here and turks and none of that fucking matters all that matters is that you love hard you show up and at least at least act like you're genuinely interested in what the fuck they're doing that's all you gotta do inquisitive and nurture nurture their spirit your fucking kid they grow yeah they change yeah yeah yeah uh and so the my child was very i didn't know what mom i was gonna get because the medications fucked her up that's bipolar fucked her up you're always wondering who's coming who's coming down the stairs right so i like my therapist said she's she put it in a way that i was like that's very that feels very like a good metaphor she's, both your antennas were pointed towards your mom, not one was pointed

towards you. Like usually a kid, a kid has an ego, especially a baby, they they're they think they're the only person that exists, and then whoever's in front of them, right? So, so that's, that's, you know, until they grow out of that phase, they need to be like, really nurtured and loved. And I was certainly my mom wanted kids so bad. And so, and she wanted a girl and I was, you know, eight years after my brother. And there was a lot of, a lot of health scares when I was born. So I think I was born into this. She's so fearful, my mom, that something bad is going to happen to all of us. And so I think with me, it was just like, she didn't want, I was just this precious thing that she wanted to keep in an incubator and

not like learn from my own mistakes as i grow older like that's the form it would take as i grow older um and so yeah it was it was i didn't know it was weird but uh but not as an adult when i say abusive physical or uh yeah i got hit a lot you did by her she would take her anger out of me really uh she would brush my hair when she was, and I would cry because I have really thick curly hair. She didn't, and she has curly hair too, but she didn't really know how to brush it. And so she would just kind of yank it when she was in a bad mood and I would cry and I would say stop. And she would get mad at me for crying. And I'm like, this is, so it was a lot of that.

So I grew up kind of, I don't know, just not knowing who I was. This is what I need to do with Ryan Sickler. Yeah. I even turned the camera for it. I appreciate it. I genuinely appreciate it. You're welcome. i'll probably do that a couple more times you'll get you'll get a lot of variations we should get honeydew tissues i should

just get a cup and then i'll drink it after okay so you grow up not knowing not only who you are but who who mom's gonna be day to day. Yeah. And my dad was just. That's a lot of anxiety. That's a lot of anxiety for an adult to be a child. So now you're also having to parent as a kid. And get this. Oh, God. I spent.

So my dad retired from the Navy when I was about five. He got drafted. He retired as a chief. He excelled in the Navy. And when he retired, he did all these excelled in the navy and um when he retired he did all these weird jobs and i was so i was a kid so i didn't know i i was like this feels fucked up but i didn't have the vernacular to say anything because i didn't know how to you know really relate to people yet but my dad cleaned parking lots uh with like a street sweeper he worked at

domino's pizza it got held up at gunpoint like several times for real like delivery yeah i'm like you were a chief in the navy no one would ever pairing jet planes on an aircraft carrier in taiwan and now you're working at domino's don't you want to like aim higher not that domino's is bad but you've you've 40 aim. Who's the name high? That's the Air Force. He's in the wrong. Yeah, it's true. All the fucking branch of the military. That's true. So yeah, it was confusing. So he just started doing like odd jobs and shit? And then he started a business where he was advising high school kids on college. He never went to college.

And I was like, this feels like not a good idea, but I don't want to say anything because they're my parents, so I guess they know. And then they got to the flea markets, and I grew up a lot in flea markets. Okay, I'm going to stop you there. So the whole time, though, dad and mom are together. I know she's leaving and doing her thing, but dad's there, and they're a married couple. Dad's not emotionally there, but yes, they are married and living in the same house. And he tolerates this.

They screamed at each other all the fucking time argue fucking time okay yeah screamed like i would be at friends houses and they the parents like our next door neighbors would invite my parents over for dinner because they had a son around my age and i was like best friends with them and uh they would be having dinner and then i'm playing with steven and. And then my mom and dad just start fighting. And the other couple is like, okay, ha-ha, you guys can go over to your house and do that. And they didn't even, like, no one else existed. They were just screaming at each other. They didn't have the wherewithal to take a step back and go, I'm at someone's house for dinner.

Right. I'm not even in my own home. Maybe I should zip it. Zip it. Nope. Yeah, none of that. Yeah. Yeah, and then the flea markets came into my life.

So tell me about those. We would have to dig through my neighbor's trash and go junking for antiques to sell at a flea market. It was very embarrassing. Junking. That's what my mom would call going junking. I hear a parent putting that shit on it. Yep. They bought a really shitty van that was moments away from falling apart. We would take it around the neighborhoods in the middle of the night.

Where you live? And dig through people's trash. Yeah. But these are. We found some good shit, honestly. I believe it. So I was like, all right, well. I believe it.

People throw some nice things away. I was here right after the Northridge quake in 94 when I was going to college. And man, people in Beverly Hills throw some good shit away. Just put it right out on the street. Oh, Beverly Hills. Yeah, think about that. I want to do that tonight. That's what I'm saying.

They just throw. Wait, what's Trash Night? Well, Beverly Hills don't leave it out anymore. But after the earthquake, they were just like, get this broken shit or this shit out of here. It was a set. These, I mean, you were like, God damn, people were going all over taking shit. Damn. They could have sold that for a lot of money.

But now too, I hear that it's hard to rent a U-Haul. So many people are leaving, but other people are renting them around here because people just want to get the fuck out. They're not even selling their shit. They're just throwing their couches and stuff on the curb. And these people are going all over the valley and snagging up all this stuff. That's great. Hey, cool. You'd be doing that right now.

That's what I would have been. Now, I've been to the flea markets. I have – So they're a special place, especially in Virginia. So the Pasadena Rose Bowl does – it used to be. It probably still do it. The second Sunday of every month, they would have a monster flea market in the parking lot around the Rose Bowl. It's just –

Nice. Rose Bowl seats 100,000. Damn. It's massive. Yeah. So – Tables as far as the eye can see. But it's been four or five times now where I've gone and taken my shit.

Basically, I'm having a yard sale at the Rose Bowl. Right. But when I got there, what I didn't realize is this guy next to me. Got a sign. All belts. You know what I mean? All shoes. Right.

All denim over here. Yeah, like handcrafted. All leather over here. These are businesses around me. i'm over there like i got a five dollar blanket you know and shit like that but i sell vhs i sell everything i sell the tape why bring shit on and if i don't i hit goodwill on the way out donate and i'm gone yeah yeah we would do that so we would we would take our so when i got a couple years older like six seven uh we would go and then she would bid on junk piles go we would go

to auctions and bid on piles of junk from porter's house and sell it or yes decorate your home no so well it ended up in our home so what would happen is we would bid on a junk pile truly it was like the size of this room okay a pile maybe up to the ceiling it was just me and my mom we would go there and she would bid i'm six and then after that we have to sort through it because not all the stuff is good so we had to spend hours sorting through it and we put it all in the van and we took it from the van to the to the living room and we were never allowed to have people over because i was like mom can my friend sleep over and she's like no the living everything's a mess like you couldn't even see the floor of our home at one point yeah i was just covered in

shit and i was like but you can we i don't care i didn't care but my mom did and i'm like well then why is there um like can you clean it up then like i'm not trying to be a bitch here um but uh i never voiced my needs ever i never stood up to myself because i was so scared of her and i was i felt bad for her and i felt like i didn't exist only she existed so i i I didn't, even at the time I was like, okay, I guess I'll just sleep over my friend's house. I didn't fight back. And yeah, so, and then we would go to Bill's Flea Market in Virginia Beach and we would take the van and she would set up a table and she had severe depression and she was on a lot of medications she slept all the time so she would price things not everything put it on a table and we would just sit there and then she

would go in the van and fall asleep and be in a depression coma or a medication while the sales go on while the people are walking yes and i at six had to negotiate with these white trash alcoholic toothless probably molesters probably on antiques and then i would wake my mom i would go to wake my mom up she slept so deeply when she napped and she snored so loud and i would have to shake her i would have physically shake and she would yell at me for waking her up and i'm like i don't know what you want me to do there's this guy here that wants to buy this thing and he wants to offer you ten dollars and you put twelve to I don't know what you want me to do. There's this guy here that wants to buy this thing, and he wants to offer you $10, and you put $12. But I had a good attitude about it because I was just like, I got to help my mom. She also told me she was sore all the time.

Her shoulders and neck were always sore. And she would ask me to massage them. And I would. I would massage her shoulders. And then one day she said to me, you know, the longer you massage mommy's shoulders, the longer she'll live. And I was like, oh, your life is in my hands. Literally, I have the power to keep you alive. I need to, you know, go.

That's heavy. Yep. Yep. So a lot of flea. And then they went from flea market to a toy store. They bought a store. They rented a storefront. What do you mean a storefront?

They rented a store in a parking center a shopping mall thing yeah and made it a toy connection and it was toys from all decades that we got in the junk places um they would order some wholesale and it's just like guys you don't okay whatever and it's just for years our house was covered in shit uh and my mom was in and out of, you know, depression and mental illness and all this. And then. Is it paying the bills enough? I think so. Tell me about.

What are you, middle class, lower? We were lower middle class. We were. Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We had a house. Yeah, right.

Not a great one. We were middle class, I would say. Although my parents always stressed about money openly to us, which was awful. And I think they were just – I've started to uncover a lot because I ended up cutting my parents off. I don't speak to them anymore, which is a huge thing for me. But they would allude to being stressed. They would push their financial stress onto us. And they knew I was a sensitive kid and I cared a lot and I was just worried allude to being stressed. They would like push their financial stress onto us. And they knew I was a sensitive kid and I cared a lot.

And I was just worried all the time about everything. So it was like they would give me things to worry about and kind of keep me here. But I think that he was a chief in the Navy. My mom was on disability. She didn't work. She couldn't. She had some physical disabilities. You wouldn't know looking at her.

But she had a lot of learning disabilities. She was always in special classes at school classes how did your mom and dad meet in florida they're both from new jersey they're both from the same town in new jersey they met in florida my mom's 18 she was escaping an abusive boyfriend uh her her mother flew her down to florida to stay with her aunt uh to escape this guy who she thought was going to kill him. And she's on the beach with her girlfriend. She took her girlfriend. And she was lying on the beach in Florida. And my mom had driven her aunt's car there.

It was a stick shift. And while she was on the beach, she could sleep on the beach. She could also have cars on the beach at that time. A giant truck backed into her while she was asleep on the beach ran over her arm and leg and ran into her neck but because she was on the sand she sunk down this freaked her out so badly she didn't go to the hospital she just went back to her aunt's house and was just like shaking she should have been like hurt it fucked her up but she was able to walk and stuff after the next day with tire tracks on her hands she was at a pool

pool hall and the owner of the pool hall was like oh nancy you're from new jersey right meet ed he's also from new jersey i think he's from the same town and my dad was like who what happened to you you look like you got ran over by a truck and she's like actually i did and then the rest is is history they found out that they found out that my mom's mom was my dad's Sunday school teacher. They're, they're nine years apart. They're nine years apart. They met in Florida.

So there's a cool. And so she very quickly moved in with him. She just moved all her stuff and moved in and then they had my brother. Yeah. Gotcha. So, uh, yeah,

it was looking back at it. I feel like it was pretty codependent love, but I, that word didn't even, wasn't even in the vernacular at that time. So, yeah. Yeah. Uh, and so, so yeah the flea markets um so much happened um then my parents separated my mom took me out to an ihop um which was my favorite restaurant we never like went we always went to buffets because they were

so cheap we didn't go so when we shook me ihop i was so excited but it was to tell me that her and my dad were separating and she I remember she was like you can get whatever you want and I was like can I get chocolate chip pancakes and she was right

except for our marriage your parents being together um can't get that um but even if we were together we'd make your life hell so

it's hell either way uh and she was bawling bawling at at she let me order chocolate chip pancakes and I was like what cool and then

we ordered we're sitting there and she's like i was about eight okay nine um and then she starts crying and she's like your father and i are separating do you want to live with him or me you have to pick one and i was like what and then the waitress was like here's your pancakes and I'm like it was and I I still crave chocolate chip pancakes to this day and I think it's like my it's my cutting yeah it's my cutting it's my cutting yeah yeah um yeah and so they separated for three years and i moved to pennsylvania um and i okay so wait you moved to pennsylvania with who with my mom okay and dad stays in virginia yep he stays there okay so that's a little bit of difference yeah yeah how many hours are we looking from where she's in pennsylvania because pennsylvania is big as shit yeah yeah yeah it's about a seven eight hour drive damn okay yeah so it's about a 7-8 hour drive damn okay

yeah so it's significant and how's your do you remember how your dad feels about this yeah so the last night my dad doesn't not comfortable talking about emotions

very you know military also very and we were raised very militaristically in some respects the last night

at my dad's house I didn't want to stay with him i stayed at my best friend katie's house uh and i remember feeling so guilty and i called him the next morning because he had left for work so i wasn't gonna see him like before like before i got picked up to go to pennsylvania and that was the only time i ever heard him cry and i was like oh so yeah this is the honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Yeah. So that was the only time I've ever heard of him.

And he was bawling like a baby. Like a baby. You're about to make me cry thinking of my daughter leaving. Yeah. Good Lord. And I was like, oh, I thought he was crying. I thought he was crying because I didn't spend that last night with him. Because I didn't understand. And so I felt guilty about that for so long.

I felt guilty about everything. But that one ate me up for a while. Lived with my mom. We cleaned houses for a living. We lived in like a condo. We went from this like beautiful house to a two-bedroom condo. Did your brother go as well? No, he stayed with my – he was in college at that point he just went to college in richmond richmond uh and then my mom and i cleaned houses um while uh and um she we cleaned houses to pay for my braces and she reminded me of that uh every day um that she

bent over backwards to pay for my braces meanwhile like too depressed to pick me up from play practice i was always the last kid every time always the last kid to get picked up because she was slept all the time um and so it would just be me and uh the fucking security guard at the school we like bonded hardcore um every every fucking thing extracurricular activity i did not get picked up like she I had to wait hours. And then she got mad at me. I'm like, I don't know what you want here, lady. Listen, if you're out there looking for a home, the truth is that house prices are only going to continue to skyrocket.

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Start your trial today. Now, let's get back to the do. So moving on to the suicide attempt. My parents get back together. They do. Yeah. My dad sends her books of poetry. That he's writing?

No. Thank God. I don't think they would have gotten back together. It's a big jump for a guy it doesn't even have feelings yeah send their books of poetry i'm like whoa it comes up to visit very gradual they come up to visit and so we end up three years i was in pennsylvania three years with just my mom and how often are you seeing your dad in that time once or twice a year okay and but he yeah and uh they got back together we bought a house in pennsylvania okay so he How often are you seeing your dad in that time? Once or twice a year. Okay.

And, but he, yeah. And they got back together. We bought a house in Pennsylvania. Okay. So he moved up there. Yeah. Yeah. High school starts.

At first they weren't fighting because they were separated for so long. And then they started back up again. And, but I didn't, I don't know. I didn't really, I was a good kid in high school. I was very scared to break the rules because I was scared of being a bad daughter. Like that was like my main concern. And so the night before I moved away to college, I was going to Penn State, main campus. I was living with a girl I was really close friends with. I was so excited.

This was my first experience with like autonomy really and and because my my parents were so or my mom mainly was so concerned with my safety at all times even though I wasn't doing high-risk activities she was always worried about me if a friend that I had she heard a friend curse she would get so mad like why are you friends with this person they're bad they're bad they're a bad person she would just pressure me and criticize me all the goddamn time. And so and it was sometimes it would come in spurts just out of nowhere. And so this last day before I move away to college, she was taking me shopping for my dorm room and I was over the moon excited.

We were at Walmart getting a microwave and she was just in the sourest mood. But I was so excited that I was like you can't nothing you could do can ruin this for me um and she started yelling at me at a Walmart and I I was I was confused as to why she would yell at me all the time for like things that I didn't necessarily do and so she starts yelling at me that I'm selfish or something and she leaves me in the Walmart. She just leaves. And I had to call my dad to pick me up.

That was the second time that happened. Like drove away. Yep. Not walked away. She was like, I can't take you, Christina. You're ungrateful. You're blah, blah, blah. Yeah. She, she's like, I'm leaving.

Your father can come pick you up. And I was like, all right, cool. I still got to buy this microwave. Cause I told Liz I'd buy the microwave. So like we got, you know, and that was the second time that happened. The first time that happened, I was 16 out at a restaurant with my mom, my dad's mom, my grandmother who had a stroke. So she had the mentality of a five-year-old.

She would pick, she would take her dentures out and just lick them all the time. Lick them. Yeah. She would pick things off of people's plates as she walked through a restaurant. She would go, what? I wanted it. I'm like, you can't do that. She was a bitch.

Sorry. And it was me, my mom, my grandmother who had a stroke and my brother's girlfriend. And in that, I was 16 years old. And very vividly, I remember my mom bringing up a friend's daughter who moved to new york city and she was alluding that she was having sex she was alluding that this she was being slutty and my mom turned to me i had a boyfriend at the time my very first boyfriend that i was madly in love with he was cheating on me the whole time but i didn't know yet i lost my virginity to him and before this conversation or after okay okay and uh yeah

so that's where I was at. She was telling me about her friend, his daughter moved to New York City and was being a slut. And she was like, you haven't done any of that stuff. Right, Christina? And I would never lie to my mom because I always told her the truth, which was a mistake. And I was like, well, I have actually.

She got up, like did one of these, marched out of the restaurant and I was like and it was me my grandmother and my brother's girlfriend and I was like I guess we gotta call

my dad she left your grandma she fucking left yeah all of you and I remember I was so I was like

shaking cause she was so mad at me and the last thing I wanted was my mom mad at me and she was so mad at me. The last thing I wanted was my mom mad at me. And she was very mad at me. And I was like, what did I do? And I remember

it was snowy that night. It was like snowy. And then when we eventually got home, my grandmother, while we were walking out of the restaurant, kept taking things

off of people's plates. I'm bawling my eyes out. I was like, stop, you can't do that, grandma. She's like,'m bawling my eyes out i was like stop you can't do that grandma she's like don't yell at me like i just want to get out of this restaurant and then we were when we got home my mom was already home and my grandma fell on the sidewalk she fell slipped on ice because i couldn't fucking carry her she was gigantic and then my and then i fell and she starts crying. She's like, nobody loves me.

Like, she acted like a kid, this woman. It was just, it was awful. My mom didn't talk to me for weeks. So fast forward the night before I moved away to college. We're in Walmart, part two. But it wasn't because I was a slut. It was just because, I don't know, who knows at this point. She got mad at me, left Walmart.

I had to call my dad. And at that point, I was like, I've had it with that. That was my big fuck you kind of expression. And I was mad. I was telling my dad, I'm like, why does she do this? And she my dad was always like, she's your it's your mom. Like, don't don't worry about it. Like, just make sure she's okay. Like my dad fed this whole narrative of like, you let your mom do what she's going to do. She's sick. It's fine. Um,

without ever asking us, how does this make you feel? Um, and so my dad picked me up from the Walmart and we pulled into our house because I still had to pack all my stuff for it to move away to college next day. And half of it was packed half of it wasn't as we pull up my mom is walking down the street of our neighborhood with a with a with a giant beer glass filled with vodka and we I get out of the car and I'm like mom

she's like don't talk to me and I was like okay all right whatever in my head I was like whatever bitch okay um and it was weird it was off color for her because she doesn't usually drink she didn't drink a lot and uh she walked away and i was like whatever and then so i'm packing i'm loading things in the van i'm still like nothing's gonna ruin this i'm so excited and hours go by and it's like 1 a.m and she's not back and we're like that's that's weird right and I was like, dad, should we call the cops? He's like, I think so. And I was like, okay, let's call the cops.

So we called the cops. My dad talked to him. And then Tua rolls by. And we're like, this is weird. Like, where is she? And she had a huge alcoholic beverage on her. So I'm like, is she drunk, passed out somewhere? I don't know.

This had never happened before. And so we finally, we get a phone call. And it's a family friend. And it's this guy. And he was like, hey, I have your mother on the other line. I'm going to connect all the calls. Don't say anything. Because if she knows you're on the other line, she's going to hang up.

Based off of the conversation I've had with her so far we're like okay so my dad's on the my dad has the phone upstairs i am on the phone you know the landline not when you could do that yeah yeah two people on the same call um on one side um and then she started so that he patches us all through and she is obliterated i've never seen her drunk and um and then uh she mentioned she's at the train tracks by her house and I was like oh that's okay I'm thinking of like an old-timey cartoon of like some old fucking drunk with a sack um sitting by the train tracks and I was like that's weird I was like and I was in my head I'm like well come home and uh and then she starts talking about how um she needs to leave the earth she she starts about killing herself.

And then I'm like, mom, mom, mom. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Hi, it's me. It's Christina. And she's like, Christina. I'm like, yes. Hi, mom.

Like, please don't do. Where are you? We're like, where are you? And and I heard the train. Oh, shit. She's like, she's like, you you don't need me anymore. You have your father. You don't. You know, I'm just a burden in your life. And I was like, no, you're not. Mom, you're not. Like, please don't jump. And she's, I forget what she was saying. She was like being very nonsensical. But that she got out. And I heard the train. And I thought she died. Like, I thought I just heard her die. And so i screamed and i threw the phone and i knew i knew where she was uh because i knew the pathway to get to the tracks there was only a

couple so i ran my dad called 9-1-1 and i was like i'm about to see my mom like her guts everywhere i don't know she slipped and hit her head she tried to jump and she really did try though yeah she was on the rocks so half of the track was like a cliff almost and then half of it was like yardage you know grass uh she had slipped so i found her knocked out knocked out she was bleeding from her head and there was the ambulance was already there thank god thank god i wasn't the one who um arrived at the scene first but i ran i booked it and i sat in the i sat in the back of the ambulance holding her hand. And she was just telling me how she doesn't want to be alive.

She wants to die. All this stuff. And then went to the hospital. I sat with her. They patched her up. She didn't have an injury or anything. There was no head injury, thank God, which was a miracle. And then the next day, I moved to Penn State.

Nittany Lions, here we come. I feel like God held out the Paterno shit until after I left Penn State. Nittany Lions, here we come. I feel like God held out the Paterno shit until after I left Penn State so I could have some fucking fun. So I can enjoy

the Penn State college campus life. I feel like Sandusky, they're like, we need to pause this reveal. Sorry, all the people

that are going to get molested for it because Christina needs to have some fun in her life. Man. That's day one of college. Day one. And Christina needs to have some fun in her life. Man. Yeah. That's day one of college.

Day one. And didn't tell, I didn't tell anybody. I didn't tell anybody what happened. Because now I'm a fucking open book. I'll fucking tell a stranger what happened. But your email, we bullet pointed up there, has an S next to suicide attempt. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the first. That was, no, there was one previous that I wasn't really involved in. there was there was one previous that i wasn't really involved in there was one that i found out way later um when she was living in a car uh there was that was one and then who there's probably more that i don't know of but um and then uh the second year of college my second year of college i i wanted always wanted to be

on saturday night live that was my dream and so Penn State, it was one of the best years ever. I loved that year. I love Penn State. But I was like, I really want to be on SNL. I got to move to New York. I got to transfer schools because I can intern at SNL. And that is a surefire way for them to know who I am without me having to figure out how do I get on the cast. There is a way.

There's an in. So I moved to New York. And my mom was so worried about me New York's so dangerous there's so much crime there's something oh my god I'm so scared for you she wanted to move me in with my dad and I was like last time that didn't really go well so I'm gonna say probably not the best idea and she insisted and my dad was like just let her I'm like okay fine and they moved me in and we're in my little dorm room. And it's the dorm room for only transfer students.

So it was all transfer kids. And I was so nervous. New York's terrifying. And I was very scared. But I was like, you just got to fucking suck it up and do it. And you got to get over it. And my parents moved me in. My mom started to get in a sour mood.

She started to pick a fight with my dad. Started screaming at my dad in the dorm room hallway in front of everybody. And my dad was just kind of like, okay. goes you know what edward fine i'll fucking walk back to philadelphia and she just walks out of my dorm room and walks away and i was like are you and that's when i was like all right fool me once shame on me but fool me twice you're a bitch i don't want to talk to you anymore um and so i that was the first moment where i really got mad at her it was the second at this point you're 19 yeah yeah yeah yeah uh and so and then she was rambling about am i jump in front of a bus and i was like oh my god and i honestly at that point i was like

try not to slip on the curve. Exactly. But it's this weird dichotomy, man. When you have a mentally ill parent, you feel so guilty and bad saying anything bad about them. Like you feel like you have to protect their reputation. But really, you're protecting yourself. That's right. From their reputation. That's right.

So it's wild. It's wild what it does to you i'm learning in uh this emdr therapy my second round does say it right yeah sometimes i mess up and say edm yeah yeah but it's not your relationship to the person or the thing it's your relationship to the relationship the memory thing that's right that's exactly it yeah it's not like you're still mad at somebody from 20 years ago well it's not not today it's your relation your yes yeah relationship to the memory yeah yeah uh and i know this is not on the list but i feel like i can replace what because this is a really interesting one tell it i said sell

it sell it uh my mom was adopted okay uh when she was and she uh by a lovely couple um when she was about three she had siblings yeah yeah my not her biological her biological mom killed herself uh because she tried to kill all the kids she had a lot of siblings she killed herself while the kids were like in the house and so the state took my mom and siblings and they got adopted uh and so because of that we didn't know much about her health history uh and some of the relatives were they were mostly passed away and so i got my mom i do i do a bit about this in the specials full disclosure but the story's crazy i got my mom a 23andme kit for christmas one year her birthday's on christmas

christmas is always a big deal in our house and um i got her 23 me kit i thought because i was really excited i'm like oh we can actually get some actual information about your background and she she just didn't seem to care which i thought was weird because usually she's like pretends to care even if she doesn't with a present i give her she's oh my god thank you she always puts on. She didn't put on a show with that one. And I was like, that's strange. And so it made me, like, she kind of tossed it to the side. So I was like, well, I'll just do the kit. You don't have to do it.

I'll do it. I don't care. Because she seemed so hesitant. And I did it. I did the kit. And I got the results back. And it said you were 51% Ashkenazi Jewish. And I was like, oh, shit.

I was like, mom, you like mom you're jewish like because dad my dad was um english and german and something uh but not jewish i was like obviously dad's not jewish so you're jewish mom that means i'm really jewish if the mom's jewish and she was like and i remember she was like oh cool i'm like do you hate jews what what's going on and um i thought it was cool and so uh there's a couple health things that i learned and and then uh you download the 21 three me app and then uh a couple months into having the app i started getting messages from people saying that they were my half sibling and i was like so why because now your information is in the system and those people can see you so

dna matches so you can you can you can you can opt in to say if there's anybody that fits your dna has a dna match with you do you want them to be able to contact you and vice versa on the app and i was like yeah because if we find um a relative of my mom's i guess um that would be great and that's like a really surefire way your dna just gets compared with all these other d so it's like really efficient and so i started getting these messages from dna relatives and i was like oh cool but they said that one of the one woman was like oh we're half siblings um uh we have the same dad but i was raised by him so if you have any like questions about his health history and stuff let me know because i you know grew up with him and i was like what and i was like that i was like oh okay that's that's cool i don't really know what you're talking about and i

was texting my brother about it. I was like, that's so weird. Do you think like, because my dad has a brother. So I'm like, do you think our uncle donated sperm? And maybe because it's my dad's brother, something like that. Because the other message was like, oh, are you a sperm donor baby too? We're half-save buildings. That's so cool.

And I was like, what the fuck is happening? I was getting all these messages. And I was very confused. So I called my mom. And I was, you know, comics my mom and I was you know comics when something weird potentially happens to you you post about you make a joke about it right so I was I was putting these screenshots on my Instagram stories of like oh I think I'm about to find out my family's not my family huh and um and I was texting with my brother and I was like what the

fuck is this and I was like I'm gonna call my mom but I filmed it I've I felt I took my iPad out and I filmed it because I was like I'm about to find find out that I'm the mailman's kid, which my brother coincidentally had been saying to me my whole life because I don't look like anybody in my family. He had. He always said that. But we joked around with each other. We teased each other like siblings. So I didn't think anything of it. And I called my mom up and I was like, hey, mom.

So that 23andMe kit that I got, I'm getting all these messages from people saying that they're my half sibling and that that i was a sperm like there was a sperm donor that's i was like dad's my dad's my biological father right and she was like oh actually he's not what i did not expect you to say that shit he's not um i never thought i would ever be telling you this i never thought this would get out uh we've your dad had testicular cancer uh i really wanted a second kid i mean she's obviously crying when she's saying this you know through the tears in the um so please imagine that uh we wanted a second kid i wanted one so badly. And his sperm wasn't good because of the cancer. And so I asked him, you know, can we get a donor? And he goes, only if the baby never knows.

And she goes, okay, sure. I don't care. And my mom was like, I've tried to talk to your dad about it a couple times. And he very vehemently said, nope, we're not telling her. And then you got me that 23andMe kit and I was like, oh, she gonna know. And now you know.

And I was like, wow, okay. I'm gonna go, but I'll talk to you later. And she was like, don't tell your brother, don't tell anybody. And she like wanted me to keep it this big secret.

She's like, don't tell your dad yet. I'll tell your dad. She's crying big secret. She's like, don't tell your dad yet. I'll tell your dad. She's crying and crying. I'm like, okay. And that took three years to sink in. I mean, I couldn't. I don't know if that would ever fucking sink in. You live your whole life a certain way only to find out.

Not that you have these other siblings because of a past relationship that your dad might have had. Or a little oops from a side chick or even mom. These cars at Virginia Beach might have, you know, nothing. Nothing. No. It's that your dad isn't your dad. Yeah. But with the life I'd lived up until that point, I was fucking negotiating with white trash, toothless fucks over shit I got from the trash while my mom was in a depression coma

in the van. I'm like, this fits with how my life has been going. Do you, and I have a million questions, so do you know who the man is?

Yeah. Your biological father. He ended up taking his own life. He's not here anymore. Holy shit. Are you kidding me? So suicide even

on that fucking thing too? Yeah. He was a doctor. Yeah. But it was, I don't know that he – I don't know that he had clinical depression. He seemed like a really sweet guy. There's a lot of articles about him that I found that like really – I'm like, wow, this guy seems like a really kind person. He was a doctor in Philadelphia.

So real quick, is your brother's father – He's a whole one. That is his biological dad. Yeah. Okay. So that's real. Yeah. Yeah. That's real. he's a whole one he's that is his biological dad yeah okay so that's real yeah yeah that's real he's how many siblings have you found that you have that you didn't know 19 no yeah 19 how many because when he was a med student so i guess dropping loads at the day you're not supposed to do that when i was at penn state though i donated my blood plasma every weekend because it was $45 cash. And I was like, going to take this cash and I'm going to go get a freshman or get a sophomore to buy me beer.

That was my spending money was donating plasma. So if all you had to do is jerk off into a tube, I'd do that all damn day. Well, I tried to do that when I was in college as well. I was in college as well, but they told me that you're supposed to only be allowed to do two donations in a certain mile radius because – That's a nice rule. Although it's not probable, it is possible that those two siblings could – especially if they stay in the area – could meet. Yeah, what if they fuck? Right. Unbeknown to them, they're fucking having –

A lot of couples look alike. Yeah, they're having inbred babies. Yeah. But we had a girl come on the Patreon who had just gone through this too and found out that her father, he was going, he went every week for, I think she said 10 years. And I said, that could be 520 siblings. And since that show, she had connected with, like, probably have you have. You said, what, 19? 19.

And I met the one that was raised by him. I met with Corinne at RuPaul's Drag Con. I was dressed as a drag queen. I met her and her wife and her son. And I was like, hi. I'm your sister. Nice to meet you. I'm like in drag. I'm like, ugh.

Hi. This is weird, huh? I don't really look like you. I'm sorry. I don't look like the dad. I don't look like her. I'm like? I don't really look like you. I'm sorry. I don't look like the dad. I don't look like her. I'm like, I don't look like anybody. This is the honey deal with Ryan Sickler.

Okay. All right. So when do you have the conversation with your dad? A couple months after that. Months? You waited that long? My mom made me. because she hadn't told him yet yeah she just didn't know she didn't want to she didn't she had why didn't you just say

fuck everyone now i want this conversation you're still trying to be a good daughter even then yeah all right so mom tells dad first heads up. Your daughter knows what's well. Yeah. The girl you've been telling your daughter is your daughter. Yeah. Which is she's my dad. He is my dad. I want to tell you. And he loved me like I was his kid.

Earlier you mentioned cutting your parents off. So I wasn't sure if you did feel that way. But this is the man who's rage. This is your dad. I respected him more. But that's also it's how I react to things. So I don't even consider any negative aspect of or a way I'm disrespected. I don't consider how I'm being treated in any situation historically. And so in this situation, because I was always like, mom, mom, mom, you first.

When we had this, when my mom talked to me, I'm like, are you okay? This must be hard for you. Wow, you kept this secret from me for a while. Ooh, that's a lot of stress. And like, I was just concerned with her. I didn't even think, I've been fucking putting the wrong health history on my medical forms for my whole life. Yeah, it was a big difference as we get older, for sure. Yeah, and it's only, there's nothing to be ashamed about.

But the only shame is that it was a secret. Don't keep it fucking secret. That's a huge secret that you kept from me. That was, that's a lot. How many years? When did you, how old were you?

33. Oh no, I found out I was 31 when I found out. God. Yeah. Man, you don't see that fucking coming, do you?

Nope. What a day. But when it did, I was like, yeah, that makes sense. Not surprised. Cause just weird shit happens to me all the time of a similar nature.

So how did your dad take it? Was he emotional? Was he like apologetic or was he defiant? How was he? I knew that he's not an, he, it's hard to talk to him about things, about serious stuff. You only heard him cry once. Yeah. I'm curious if this is the second time. Wow no but i but i was comforting him so i was like hey and i'm and i

meant i really didn't mean this part but i was like you know i really i respect your decision i understand why you didn't want to tell me and i really appreciate you raised me as if i was biologically yours um yeah so i like, thank you for having me. Okay, good night. That was a conversation. But yeah, that was a wild one. That was a wild one. But so the cutting off part finally comes where basically my whole life, every boyfriend I've ever had and every close friend I've ever had has always remarked on how odd of a relationship I have with my parents.

I'll drop anything if they call. I drop whatever I'm doing to answer the phone. They would have weird rules on me that I didn't understand at the time. I should have been like, hey, I'm a grownup and I'm not doing that. I struggle with boundaries for myself too. I never set a boundary with them.

There's no boundaries. And every friend I've ever had was like, your parents are weird to you and i was like no they're not and i sometimes i would get offended when a friend would say that because i'm like don't you say anything bad about my parents like i would protect them like i was a knight and they were the king and queen and um and then i read a book called you're Not Crazy, It's Your Mother. And I learned about narcissistic personality disorder. And I downloaded the audio book of this. And I read it when I was on the road.

I was doing a weekend solo, a solo weekend by myself on the road. And I downloaded it. And I listened to all eight hours. I didn't sleep because it described things that it it it described things that i was like oh that is fucked up okay the suicide attempts you know she had a lot of them she didn't do it she wasn't really good at it she didn't that made me think that wasn't the goal the timing of her suicide attempts was always when i was about to go off into the world. And I was like, keep you here.

You are a narcissist. Yeah. That is what everything revolves around you. Yeah. Every, and you have me right. I'm a, you might as well have me on a fucking leash.

Everything is surrounding you. Your emotions are paramount. Whatever I'm going through doesn't fucking matter. It's how you're feeling or how I make you feel.'s the only thing that matters and they fucking fed into that shit there's this thing that i learned called triangulation where you pit you're pitted against another family member whether it's a sibling or a parent or whatever uh everything that this book described what were basically a list of all the inappropriate emotionally manipulative abusive things my

parents have done, both of them. And when we started making money, Corinne and I, like the podcast got really successful. And we got I remember like the first big deposit from the company like that went into my bank account. I like I still have the ATM receipt because I was like, I just felt like a billionaire. Because we and I were so broke in New York for most of our time there up until that point. The first big check I got, my parents were like, oh, we're going to move to Florida because it's cheaper or whatever. And they're like, or we can move to New Jersey if you'd be interested in buying a house with us. And I was like, okay, I got all that money, wired it right to my dad the next day. And I was like, god damn it.

All of it. All of it. it all of it all of it i had to pay taxes on that six figures i had to pay taxes on that i gave all of it to them and then i had if i was i'm like oh my god after i read this book i and i learned they train you to bow down to them essentially whether they're doing it consciously or subconsciously it in my opinion it doesn't fucking matter uh but boy oh boy have i gotten tricked my whole life what did they do with that money uh we bought the house we bought we have a house it is my asset i was over here so it's fine okay so we got an llc we split that so the house is 50 percent mine so it's an asset so it wasn't i didn't like you know just give it to them uh thank god but what made what was the line where you cut them off?

And was it a separate thing? Or were you on like, all right, today's the day. Both of you can. Yeah. My mom, one day we were out on the porch on the beach house. She came out with her laptop and she was telling me how Black Lives Matter. You don't know where the money is going. And because I had been marching, it was quarantine, but I'd been marching.

And she was so worried and so concerned. And she was like, you can't trust Black Lives Matter. I'm like, yes, I can. I can't trust you, bitch. I didn't say that, but I wanted to. At least I thought it. I was like, ooh, naughty. But I and I remember I felt the anger and the rage well up in me like I always had.

And instead of I either would suppress it or I would scream at them and they would go oh my god how can you when I would get mad at them for very just reasons they would go are you what what's wrong with you oh my god I'm worried about you are you addicted to drugs Christina and I'm like I'm not oh my god like they made me so crazy so that night she came out on the porch I just fucking

left I didn't even say anything you pulled a mom you pulled a mom on her ass yeah and I was driving away and I'm like yeah fuck you how do you think about that i'm like oh she's not mad at me like this and um and then um this is still before i read that book um uh quarantine was happening uh mom got fox news kidnapped both my parents uh they allowed it but um you know i kind of lost them to facebook and fox news and um there was a moment where my mom kept emailing me and texting me and i stopped responding which was unlike out of character for me and so she would get very angry with me and then she was like i think you're

addicted to drugs and your happiness is fake and then i'm like you're telling me how i'm doing instead of asking how are you doing you don't care about me i'm like also you don't really fucking like me that much you don't you don't you're not nice to me you don't care about me I'm like also you don't really fucking like me that much you don't you don't you're not nice to me you're not nice to me you criticize me everything I do is wrong why do you what I don't want to hang out I never I don't really want to see you again and so I started pulling away from her without like really drawing a hard line in the sand yet um and she was so up she was so devastated that i was um i was that new york city was being uh filled with criminals with the pandemic and that i was addicted to god knows

what drug and and i and i wasn't getting my work done she's just making all this shit up and um and she's like i need to i want to come down and talk to you and i was like no you're not doing that we're not doing that um four days later 9 am., I'm in bed, and my buzzer rings. And I was like, what? And then I look up at my phone, and I have eight missed calls. I'm like, okay. My mom's at my fucking apartment. She drove to New York City.

She did. She's at my fucking apartment buzzing the buzzer. And the buzzer I lived in at the time, the building was kind of wonky, and the buzzer was extremely loud, veryarring i hated when people buzzed um she's buzzing and i lost i finally lost my mind finally i was screaming i was throwing shit i was like i'm gonna and i call my brother call my therapist call i call my dad and i was like what the fuck i told her not to come and i told you to tell her not to come and she she came, and he goes, well, go out there and talk to her. I'm like, no.

What? No. Are you? What the? Fuck you. I hate you. What? And then I go, wait, can I block them on my phone?

Is that legal? Like, that's how munchausen-y it had gotten. I just asked my therapist yesterday, is that wrong? I'm having trouble with the fact that they're blood. Yeah. Is it wrong? And she's like, it's not wrong. No.

You're not wrong. And I'm like, I need to make better boundaries for myself. Yeah, because you'll go insane. And I blocked them. I didn't let her in. You did. I didn't let her inside. I didn't let her in my building.

It was pouring rain. She has tremors. So she shakes. We'll take that at Walmart she's like shakes a lot so she's outside in the cold it's raining and she's like let me in and i'm like no and i and i pulled out the curtain i blocked them and i was like i don't know how you're gonna get home because i was always so worried about them oh you and i was like nope we're done fuck yeah good. And then I cried, cried, cried for two years. Years. I hate to cut it here, but you got to get the hell out of here. You really do.

I'm sorry. Yeah. You said two years. Yeah, two years. Go ahead and get another one, girl. Yeah, yeah. I just want to make sure for Adam Carolla, I'm not mascara tears because he's going to go, oh. All right, real quick.

You have to go. Yeah. Advice you would give to your 16-year-old self, especially after this shit. You're not crazy. It's your mother. That's what I would have given.

Yeah. Boundaries, too, I really feel like. Yeah. I would say that to my own self and that's one I hadn't thought of before. Yeah, you need boundaries

for yourself. Yeah. This has been awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you. Will you please promote everything one more time? Yeah. Our special day is. Thank you so much. Thank you. Will you please promote everything one more time? Yeah.

Our special day is out on YouTube. It's a debut comedy special of myself and Corinne Fisher. YouTube.com slash guys we fucked without the U in fucked.

I'm at Christina Hutch on all platforms. I'm going to be in Baltimore, Maryland, London, Ireland, and Miami. ChristinaHutchinson.com. All right.

Thank you so much. As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media. RyanSickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week. Bye.