The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Luenell - LuenellDew

Episode Date: July 29, 2024

My Honeydew this week is Luenell! You can check out her new special, “Town Business,” on YouTube now! Luenell joins me to highlight the lowlights of her wild life experiences, like the time she worked at a bank and decided to steal $50,000. She tells us what it was like to get away with the crime for ten years, all while having her name published in newspapers, and eventually becoming a mother. We talk about what it was like going through county jail, and the irony of being locked up in a prison where she had previously filmed a movie role with “The Rock.” From her journey into comedy to co-parenting while part of the legal system, Luenell shares hilarious insights into her life, guaranteed to keep you laughing this episode. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour Austin, TX - Sep. 13th Dallas, TX - Sep. 14th La Jolla, CA - Sep. 20th & 21st Salt Lake City, UT - Sep. 27th Denver, CO - Sep. 28th Chicago, IL - Oct. 11th & 12th Detroit, MI - Nov. 8th Minneapolis, MN - Nov. 9th Madison, WI - Nov. 15th & 16th Portland, OR - Nov. 23rd Ft. Lauderdale, FL - Dec. 6th Tampa, FL - Dec. 7th Tempe, AZ - Dec. 20th and 21st Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Rocket Money -Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com/HONEYDEW

What's up, everybody? Ryan Sickler here. And I just wanted to let you know that tickets to my fall dates of the Live and Alive tour are on sale now. Go to Ryan sickler dot com. Get your tickets to all shows. I'm coming to Austin, Dallas, La Jolla, Salt Lake City, Denver, Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis, Madison, Portland, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, and Tempe. Tickets for all shows are available right now

on my website at RyanSickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. ["The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler"] ["The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler"] ["The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler"] ["The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler"] Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the night pan studios. I am Ryan Sickler, RyanSickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. I'm going to start this episode like I start them all by saying thank you.

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You guys know what we do here. We highlight the low lights and always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I am very excited to have this guest on today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Lou Nell. Thank you for joining us. I'm going to be talking about the story of the story are the stories behind the storytellers. And I am very excited to have this guest on today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Luenell. Welcome to the show.

Bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim. Listen, first of all, I'm going to say that you look gorgeous. Thank you, Ryan. You're dripped. Everything looks on point. I just, I'm such a huge fan of yours. I know you're like, what are you talking about? I'm telling you, I love you. Thank you so much. I can't believe you're here.

Your energy, I've loved you ever since I saw you. And I know that right now we could turn on anything and we could find you instantly. You are a legend, young lady. Oh, well, thank you. I think that word gets thrown around a little, I don't know, I don't know. I guess if you do anything for 30 years plus, successfully, you can be approaching legendary stuff.

I'll get to that in a second. Before we do, please plug and promote everything you'd like. You got a special. Talk about all of it, please. I have a currently Emmy Award nominated comedy special called Town Business produced by Dave Chappelle and Dave's home team that is running on Netflix. And it is, even if I may say so myself, it's extremely funny and relatable. It's not just material, this is stuff that

you would be shaking your head like this for half an hour, going, yeah, right, right, right. So I'm really proud of that. We're gonna be talking over the Fourth of July weekend about possibly doing, hopefully doing special number two. Yeah. I currently have a ongoing comedy residency in Las Vegas where I primarily reside between LA and Vegas.

And my residency is at Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy Club. Every Sunday and Monday at 9.30 PM, Jimmy Kimmel has been a joy to work for and hopefully will continue to be a joy to work for and hopefully will continue to be a joy to work for because he is, we are working on pitching a late night show for me that would be welcome relief to everybody since late night is full of nothing but white men. There's no females, there's no minorities, and I want to be the Norma Rae of that and crack that open. Good for you.

And I'm touring at the city wineries and clubs all across the country. You could go on heylunel.com and see my tour dates, and I'll say that's where you can purchase tickets for my Vegas residency. And I got some other little voiceover projects that are about to drop I think early next year, some films and things like that. And so I'm trying to stay busy.

You stay busy. You've been staying busy. I try. I agree with you. Legend, Genius is another one people throw around a lot. But I was doing my research on you, and I was talking to you before we started recording. But you are in the... Is it the Hall of Fame in, I forget, Arkansas, right?

In Arkansas, I'm in the Arkansas African-American Museum in Arkansas in Little Rock, where I was born in Arkansas. So it's sort of a big deal. And other people are there as well, like Sheryl Underwood is from Arkansas and Lenny Williams from Tower of Powers from Arkansas, Favreau Sanders and stuff like that. So that was pretty big deal for my family to have me in the museum. Since I am the eighth of eight children, I'm the baby.

Are you the baby? I am. And I, and everything that that entails spoiled all that. That's me. What's the gap between your oldest and you? How many years? Like 12 years. 12 years, okay.

Yeah, about 12 years. Okay. And then she's my oldest brother, and then there's, I got four boys and four girls in my family. And then also my daughter and I, I have a 28 year old daughter. What is that, Gen Z, Gen X?

That's a good question. I don't know what Gen that is. I don't either, but it's probably Gen that got me the baby in the first place. Anyway, we just moved to DC, and so I can see myself in the National Museum of African American History and Culture. And I didn't know I was in there until my brother went and he's like, you're in here. They don't give you a heads up?

And nobody gave me a heads up. Come on. I would have picked a different picture. That's the other thing I was going to ask you. So you showed me the display. It's part of the Smithsonian. And I was like, that is a huge picture. And I'm thinking the whole time that that's something you saw approved.

No, I don't even know. That's crazy. How can they do that? They didn't send me a plaque. They didn't send me like a corner in there. And they don't just send somebody an email going, just so you know. But I'll know now because the outfit that I wore in the Netflix special, I'm donating that to the museum. Oh nice.

Because they're looking to expand their comedy section, which isn't extensive by the way. So I'm gonna donate that. I've never done that before. You know how you go to the hard rock and you look at people's outfits and guitars. Prince's outfit. Yeah.

So which I have a great story later. I'll see the tattoo right there. Yeah, Prince but Michael as well. So, which I have a great Prince story later. I'll see you in a tattoo right there. Yeah, Prince, but Michael as well. There you go. So, yeah, those things have been happening. So, legend, like I said. So, talk to me.

Tell me a little bit about, you're from Arkansas originally. Was born there. Born there. You're one of eight children. Yes. Okay, and where do you grow up? I grew up in the Bay Area. Okay, up north. Then Oakland, and then we moved from Oakland

to the Lily White suburb of Castro Valley, California, which is like 14 miles from, 12, 14 miles from Oakland. Okay. And I got all my education out there. I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in English Lit. I curse wildly because it's fun and I like to. Yeah. But I can write a letter on that ass too

that'll light you up, so. You're too much, I love it. I got tissue, cause you will be crying. You will be crying, I love it. I got tissue, cause you will be crying. You will be crying before this is over. I'm sure you don't even know how much I love it. I'm currently a little ill. I'm gonna give it one of my tissues. Okay, so you're growing up out in the Lily White Valley.

You graduate, thank you. Thank you very much. You graduate and then where do you go next? And how old are you? You going out of high school? I went out of high school, went to junior college, went from junior college to Cal State A. I graduated and then I continued to stay in the Bay Area for a while. And then I went from the Bay Area to Long Beach.

I moved to Long Beach because my Bay Area to Long Beach. I moved to Long Beach because my girlfriends moved to Long Beach and I wasn't doing nothing. And I don't really even know why I went there, but I did. You know when you're young, you stick and move and you do this and you try that and you hop in a car and you go here and you go there. So I moved to Long Beach and I stayed with my girlfriend

and I ended up getting an apartment down the hall from her. And my roommate was a beautiful black British girl who looked like Sade but thicker and taller. And her name was Pat and she spoke like this until everybody was just enchanted with the way that she speak. But she was a call girl. So she was going on dates and stuff.

And then she started servicing this comedian guy. Then he, you know, the old pretty woman thing, he fell in love with her, didn't want her to hook no more. So they were going steady. And he would be over to the house all the time and I'd just be talking my regular shit, you know, because he was a trick after all in the beginning. So I'd always walk the house tricks,

but you know, and shit like that. And he thought I was pretty funny. Come to find out he ran a comedy club in Long Beach. And he said, you know, you're pretty funny if you ever want to go on stage, the minute you walk in, I'll, you know, you're pretty funny if you ever want to go on stage. The minute you walk in, I'll put you up because you're hilarious.

I'm like, I don't want to be no motherfucking comedian. I want to sing background for Luther Vando. Listen. Is that what you wanted to do? No, the drugs we're talking about. I was going to say, can you sing? The drugs are really good back then, baby. I'm going to be a singer.

I'm going to sing for Luther. Anyway, but when that cleared up, when I came off that bender, me and my girlfriends one night were on the balcony of our Long Beach apartment, beautiful summer night, drinking in the homemade margaritas. And I've never been a joke teller. I don't know how to write a joke.

I don't know, I tell stories, you know? And I had thought about what he said and I knew that funny shit happened to me like every day. Like every day something wild happened. I don't just go to the grocery store, get some grapes and come home. If I go to the grocery store, some shit's gonna happen still in my life, it's just bananas.

So I had been thinking about what he said and I said, well, you know, this thing happened to me that's kind of funny to me. And this thing happened to me is kind of funny to me. I don't know, let's go down to this club and see what he's talking about. So me and the girls hopped in the car, we went to this club in Long Beach.

As he said, the minute he seen me, the guy that was up when he was done, he put me up next. Damn, right like that. I went up, killed it the first time I ever been on Satan's. How long did you do, do you know? Five? I don't know, maybe about, maybe about 10 minutes.

Wow. And I've never been booed in my life. I've got the silent treatment, which is the cousin of being booed, but I've never been booed. So I told this little story and blah, blah, blah. And when I got off stage, this guy came up to me. He's like, you know, you're a funny little bitch.

I'm like, okay, thank you. He said, here's my card. You ought to come see me. I got a club too. And that was the late Robin Harris. No, Robin Harris on the first day that I ever did. Such a Robin. The first day I ever did stand up and I'm jealous. I just gave you gave me chills. I love Robin. It was a big deal. And I'm still in touch with his day too. No, no. Yes. He hosted a big deal. I love Robin Harris. And I'm still in touch with his- So he had a club back in the day too? No, no, yes.

He hosted a club called the Comedy Act Theaters in the Merritt Park District of LA off Crenshaw. I'm still in touch with his widow and she was pregnant when he passed. So I know Robin Harris Jr. as well. Oh, he never met his kid. He never met his kid. Son.

And no, he didn't. And so anyway, I went there to the comedy action. I'll pause you for one second here. All because you lived with a prostitute. Yeah. All because you moved to Long Beach for the hell of it. And then the greatest movie I ever did, I played a prostitute.

Prostitution is in my life. All because a lady brought a- Shout out to the prostitutes. Sex because you're a lady brought a, yeah, sex workers, what's up? Yeah, yeah. Brought a trick home and led you on your path to comedy. That is wild. That's right.

That's wild. That is wild, see? And you never stopped after that? Like after you met Rob and just kept on going? Yeah, I just, cause when I went to the Comedy Act Theater where Robin was hosting, you know, this is, you know, 30 years ago.

So there's a young Jamie Foxx in there. There's a young DL Hughley in there. There's a young Cheryl Underwood in there. There's, you know, young comics that were hustling. You know, there was no money. Like I think if you got $50, you were killing the game. If you got $50 a drink and maybe a chicken basket, you're fucking rock star, you know?

And there was no flying, no planes, no none of that. You get your ass in the car with three other hungry comics and you drive to Kansas City. You drive to Detroit and you drive, that's how, and you stay four in a hotel room. All that shit, share the bathroom, everything like that. So that's how, you know, that's sort of how it started. And so how young are you at that point?

Let me see. Early 20s? Yeah, maybe about 23, 24. Because this is before BET Comic View and before Def Jam. None of that was happening when I started. But then it did. And DL became the first host of BET's Comic View. And that's when we got the opportunity

to be on national television weekly, not just a special or something like that. And then Def Jam comes on weekly. I never did Def Jam. You never got a spot on Def Jam? Never did Def Jam. How's that happen? Because number one, I believe that the guy who booked

Def Jam, Bob Sumner, we didn't really hit it off that great. I know Bob Sumner. And he was in charge. And number two, I fucked up my audition for Def Jam. They came to the Bay, and cause I was going back and forth to the Bay as well. And they had auditioned at a club called Tommy T's in the Bay area.

And I was, you know, I was excited about this night and all my friends were calling like, girl, we're coming, we're coming. And that started to give me a little anxiety. And I was fucking this old guy at the time and he had brought over a bottle of fucking, I don't know, Corbel or some shit,

you know, what OG's drink. And so I'm knocking that back all day and I popped some Valium, you know, just back in the Valium day. And so I go to the show and you know, you're hanging around like maybe you're number eight or whatever, now you get a little bit drunker. And so then they called me up and I went up there

and I was killing that shit, killing it. And then I started repeating myself. Because you didn't remember? Because I didn't remember. No. And then I started- I'm not gonna look. I've never done that as a comedian.

Sliding off the bar stool. And I'm blue and I fell the fuck out. You did not. I looked up and I'm under the bar stool. You and I fell the fuck out. I looked up and I'm under the bar stool. You know how I'm under the bar stool and my white friends came and drugged me out and stayed and took me out the back door. So that's why I never did death dance. I fucked it up and Bob didn't like me.

True story. Okay. What are you gonna do? All right, so then. That was the blue volume, by the way, not the yellow. And then at what age do you become a mom? When do you start becoming a mom and handling that in comedy? I didn't become a mom. My mother passed away. I didn't become a mom. My mother passed away. I got pregnant the next month.

I was 36 when I had my kid. I had had one abortion when I was 18. And then I think I had a miscarriage later. And then I just never got pregnant no more. And I'm like, well, first of all, I don't want no motherfucking kids. I don't want one. My mother is gone.

I have no idea how to raise a kid without my mom. This don't make no sense. So even when I got pregnant, even when I felt the baby, I was still in denial. And I was doing dope at the time as well. A lot of cocaine was going around then and in the clubs and all that. And a

lot of alcohol. And I just didn't do anything right, any prenatal until my girlfriend literally drug me out of the apartment and took me to good old Planned Parenthood. And they did a pregnancy test on me and told me I was pregnant. I said, do it again. Your test is wrong, do it again. And then they did the blood. And I'm like, oh, fuck.

So now the baby's been kicking and I had went to my mother's grave site. And I said, if I'm to have this baby grave site and I said, if I'm to have this baby, show me a sign because I can't believe it. And it was like that, I didn't have a car and then I was back in the bay and I was living in West Oakland

and I was walking to the store to get some orange juice. And I looked over at my reflection in this car window and it's like overnight, my stomach went ploop like that. And I could really see it. I was like, oh my God. Now the reason that my daughter's father and I remain on good terms to this day is because he was a comedian too.

He was a comedian before I was. He had been on tour with Bernie Mac and all this kind of stuff. And I had looked up to him. He was a comedian before I was. He had been on tour with Bernie Mac and all this kind of stuff. And I had looked up to him. He was the guy. Were you ever married? Back then, but I'm the bitch now. No, never married. Never married him. And so when I told him that I was like, you know, I think, you know, we've been doing all this fucking, I think we done hit something. Something went up against the wall and stuck. And he never said, you know, what you gonna do or who baby is it?

He didn't do none of that. It was like, okay. And we proceeded from there. So he never made me feel like shit. And cause we were just recreationally fucking around, getting high and fucking around and we were friends. We was in the same circle. We know the same people still do. So that's one of the reasons that we still got a good relationship.

Now, if you had acted a different sort of way, it might have a different turnout. But your daughter's... 28. I was going to say, she's an adult now. So there's no reason for you two to continue unless you get along or you're friendly with one another, you know, if you were at odds, you know what I mean? People's kids turn 18, they're like, fuck both, they're going the other way. I would have said, fuck you before that. Right, but you said he was good to you. So when you say you have a good co-parenting relationship.

Yeah. We were talking about this before because I said I get along with my daughter's mother maybe 75 percent of the time, but we don't kick it in any way. I have no desire to go. I had to be over there the other night to get my daughter and she was running, she's only nine. She's taking her time and her brother was coming home. I wanted to see him. She's like, he's gonna be here five minutes.

So I had to sit there for five minutes and I did not wanna sit there for five minutes. You know what I'm saying? I just, I like to do my own thing over here all as well. I call us professional. We're professional. I want my daughter to see a good man. I don't want her to hear me trashing her mom.

Right, right, right. I don't want to do any of that stuff, you know? Not in front of her, I don't. Yeah, well I have. Yeah. Yes, I've talked shit about my daughter's father, but at the end of the day, it don't matter because my daughter's a complete daddy's girl.

What's your relationship with him like? What was it like then and what is it like now? It remains the same. I'm gonna see him tomorrow. We gonna kick it tomorrow. I'm going to San Francisco tomorrow. He gonna pick me up from the airport. I gotta speak on a panel tomorrow night in San Francisco

and I don't have nobody go with me, so he gonna go with me and we're gonna go eat lunch and in Sausalo or something like that and all that stuff. We like the same stuff. Clearly we were both comics. We know the same people. We like the same shit and all that kind of stuff.

Do I want him? No. Do I wanna kiss him passionately ever again? No. So you're not intimate in any way at all. No, fuck it off me. We were in the car and he was touching my arm. I was like, stop touching me.

I told my daughter, tell your father to stop touching me. I don't want that. And we don't, I don't want that. I don't think that he does either since he's engaged to a whole nother bitch. Ah! But I don't think she fucked with me either, if you know what I mean?

How does she feel about him spending time with you? Oh, she hates me. She hates you. Yeah, she hates me. And do you see, do you have anyone serious in your life that would have an issue with that or do you stay single? No, it's easier for men to get women than it is for women to get men. Oh, hell no.

I don't know about that. Nope, nope. especially, listen now. Not with the internet these days, especially. Okay, I got married between all this to another guy and he just died three days ago. Lunel. Yeah, so I'm going through that right now. I'm so sorry, you don't have to talk about that.

No, I'll talk about his shit. He died, I didn't die. So. I'm okay. I fucking love you. I'm okay. I mean, you know, it hurts and all that kind of stuff. So wait, so you have a child with your daughter's father

and then you marry another man, how many years later? Well, I married my ex-husband when my daughter was five. Okay. And my baby- How did he deal with your baby? We came and told him I'm about to get married. Here he is. His name is Ronnie. I Didn't ask for permission, but I'm saying how did your husband deal with your daughter's father? My husband has always been a complete gentleman

He wouldn't even if my daughter got up and came and got in the bed with us, he would get out the bed and go sleep on the couch. Love that. Because he didn't want, you know, respect for, he's always been a complete respectful guy. And for that, my baby daddy had to get with it because he didn't have no reason to not get with it. And he wasn't gonna marry me.

He's still, he ain't gonna marry the bitch he with. The one he's engaged. She ain't gonna marry the bitch he with The one he's engaged I'm like look bitch. I got a kid and I'm rich and he didn't marry me He liked to do his own thing. He like to move when he moves. He don't like to answer no bunch of questions. So, I don't know. And does she know he comes to stay?

You all were telling me before we recorded. He comes and stays at your place. Yeah. And you don't care. That doesn't bother you though? At all my places. Cause I got a couple of places. You're not like, get the fuck out of here and go home.

Me? Yeah, I'd be like, get the fuck out of here and go home? Me? Yeah, you don't ever get like that. Yeah, I'd be like go the fuck home to your bitch. Yeah. But he don't. Because see the house in Vegas is in Vegas. So it's not just me, it's Vegas. Yeah.

He likes the sports bet. He likes to eat well. He likes to see what's going on. I take him to shows. We sing Copperfield, RuPaul Drag Race, Tris Angel. You know, there's things to do in Vegas. He likes to do shit. So we go do shit.

Does he ever do, you ever put him up? No, cause he doesn't do stand up comedy no more. No, he's lost it. He don't have it no more. Tell him. He knows it. He lost all of it. Comedy, you all of it. I mean, he's lost it. He don't have it no more. Tell him. He knows it. He lost all of it. Comedy, you all of it.

I mean, he can do comedy. He can do it if he want to, but it's sort of hacky, only because if you don't change with the time, then your shit gets old. And he was a beast when I started, because like I said, I looked up to him, but you know, he just didn't change.

And then when I got pregnant, he sort of put his comedy on the back burner to work. He was working. And you know, cause I left the kid with him when me and my husband got married and moved to LA. Well, I'm missing a part in here, you know, when I went to jail. Yeah, we're going to get to that. I want to hear about that. And then that's when he got the kid and he just kept her. And he told me, if you go down there,

you and your husband go down to Los Angeles, just don't go down there, bullshit, and go down there and make it happen. And then I did. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Let's jump back to jail here, so. Okay, now my favorite subject. You were, I was, like I said, I do research, I was looking on the internet, and I also know the internet's full of shit.

But I saw- Is it on the internet? It's on the internet. Have you been able to find my mugshot? Cause I can't find it. I didn't see a mug. I think I've been scrubbed. Well look- I think they scrubbed the internet my mugshot. I got many.

If we can find it, we'll use it. No, but it said you robbed a bank, yeah. Where does it say that? In Wiki? I'll send it to Kirsten earlier. It's not Wikipedia, but it's something else because I wanted to see about your early life. Well, it's technically called embezzlement.

Okay, so it's not like you rolled in with a gun. No, I don't wanna. It's not like you rolled in with a gun. You were working there. No, I didn't wanna like set it off, you know? Yeah, yeah. But what had happened was. You'd have been the great fifth person on set it off. What had happened was, I had extensive banking experience, you know,

when I got, when I was in junior college, I was working over in a city called Burlingame, and I was working, you know, I remember Security Pacific Bank and all this kind of stuff, and remember Sumitomo and all those banks. So I knew a lot about banking. I was scamming from the beginning. Tell me some of your scams.

Okay. Give me some good ones. Okay, so they put me in new accounts. What'd they do that for? So I open your account. I misspell your name. You're gonna bring the checks back so we can order you new checks.

We're supposed to destroy the checks. We destroy, but maybe three we don't because the account number is good. And you only wanna do this to people who are like, got a lot of money, they ain't gonna miss it. So maybe you give somebody the, you give them the check, then make it out to somebody else who cracked the check

for maybe $10,000. Now what's that mean? What do you mean? Mean like, I have a blank check that he just brought in so we could destroy the checks and reorder new checks with the correct spelling. So we get rid of the checks, we destroy them. All of them but like three.

Maybe like three. Okay. So now I give the check to you and you make it out to him. You know what I'm saying? Like you make it out to somebody else cause you wanna keep your hands pretty clean. They take the check and cash it. I got it.

They break you off two grand, they break you, you know, and then I get my it. I got it. They break you off two grand, they break you, and then I get my money. I got it. So I did that maybe three times, no big deal. Okay. And then I was in bookkeeping and then I was a teller. And what are you doing? How can you, I guess these days probably way harder

with all the electronics and everything, logins. Cameras. Yeah, all that. Fingerprints. So how. Yeah, all that. Fingerprints. So how you do, what are you doing to fudge bookkeeping back then? Well, I just could tell who had the big accounts

cause I saw everybody's balances, deposits, withdrawals, monthly averages. So you hit somebody with a couple of mil, they ain't gonna miss that 2,000. You hit somebody with $500, they're gonna miss everything. $25, they're like, bitch, I'm wrong. So yeah, you see somebody that's worth a lot of money. But you know, I mean, I'm not advocating kids.

And this doesn't work anymore, kids, don't try to do this, but this back in the day, and I be talking 30 years ago. And so what had happened was I was working in Long Beach at a bank and my roommate. Same roommate. Yeah. Got married. Not to the, not to the comet.

She, she gave it all up. She got married and left me. Now I got this. But also kudos to that guy and his dick and his game because he pulled her out of tricking for good. She's a whore. Anyway, clearly. So God bless.

God bless you Pat. Shout out to Pat. Oh, I miss you bitch. Where you at? And, uh, I would love to find her, but, um, I was, so I have this apartment, lush, three, one, two, two, three, three bedroom, I think. And now she's gone. And so I'm working and you know,

the teller to me is the face of the bank. The teller is who you do your interactions with, you know, and that can make you decide whether you want a bank there or not, the tellers, you know, and I was a great teller and I used to get in trouble. I used to get written up, you know, Lanell's using profanity within customer earshot.

Oh, fuck, did I? Yeah, you did. And Lanell's making people laugh too much, which, you know, they like to be nice and quiet in the bank. If you can get written up for making people laugh, I didn't like that. So you work two weeks as a teller and you get a old bullshit ass check for $250.

This is 30 years ago, right? For a week? Yeah, and I'm like, this is bullshit. And then they let me in the vault. Most Americans think they spend about $62 a month on subscriptions, but get this, the real number is closer to $300. That is literally thousands of dollars a year,

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What's that like for real? Oh, millions and millions. Do you see, is there money in there, gold? Millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions

and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions

and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions I still like money and I like the smell and I like the way it felt too. So you don't go in the vault by yourself, you're going with somebody. Why are they giving you access? What's your job now? Because I'm up in the, you know, because I'm good. I'm moving up into the- Okay, so you're moving up now. Yeah.

So they had me and this other little scary white broad would go into the vault, you know, and balance the money, whatever. But she turned her head. And I just, I don you know, and balance the money, whatever. But she turned her head. And I just, I don't know, one day I just grabbed a stack of money and I went like this. And it was $50,000. Holy shit.

And I worked the rest of the day. A $50,000 stack. I worked the rest of the day. And went home with the 50 racks in my bra. It was ringing wet by the time I got home because I was like, you know. And what time of day you taking this? About three o'clock in the afternoon.

And you got to go till when before you get off? Five. So you got two hours of $50,000 and working. In my bra. Working. In my bra. Yeah, and working. So of course.

I'm gonna ask one more question. Yeah. They have, there's no cameras in that vault back then? I don't know. Well, I have, there's no cameras in that vault back then? I don't know. Well, I don't think there were cameras inside the vault because it's also the safety deposit boxes and you gotta have the privacy thing. Right.

So, you know, of course the vault did not balance that day or the next day or the day after that day after that. So then they call the feds and the feds come and da da da da da. Now you work in doing all this, you're seeing them come. So then they call the feds, and the feds come and da-da-da-da-da. Now, are you working during all this? You're seeing them come in? Are you shitting yourself? Yeah.

Where's the money? Spent. I'm not. You didn't say. No, no, I didn't get the money to take care of, like, a sick family member. Or rent. I just took the money like, fuck this shit.

You know, and I'm a tip in. I had my parents come down from the Bay area, come to Long Beach, pay for them a suite, paid for the valet parking, paid for everything. They should have known something was wrong again. I had never been able to do a motherfucking thing for them before then, but I did that. And I did a few good things for people,

bought a lot of dough, you know, bought some clothes, paid my rent for like eight months. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, okay, you did use some of them. Was buying, you know, lobsters and I mean, this is fucked it off. This is cash, this is cash. Cash is candy.

Yeah, this is cash. That's when they talk about, we gonna go to a cashless society. I'm like, please don't, because I really like cash. You know, I got like 1500 in my purse right now. All hundred dollar bills, because I like money.

So, finally the feds come and they wanna talk to me. They wanna talk to me. After how many days is it? I mean, it was a couple of weeks actually. And you're in there every day? Oh, sweat and bullets. Oh, God. That's why the Academy Award goes to.

So they call, they interview the broad. And I'm like, looking at this bitch, like, I'll beat your ass. You better not say no. But she didn't know nothing because she didn't say nothing. And so it's really my word against hers, right? So they, and you know, they're sweating me, take me in a little room, and I say, yeah, I took it. I took it. You did?

I confessed. I said, I took it. Now what? So they took me to jail. Oh, that's what, bitch, you're going to jail. So, you know, it was clink, clink. Wait, right there on the spot? Yeah, yeah.

Paraded me the fuck out in the bank in front of everybody. I went to jail, but I had no priors, and I didn't use a gun. So they let me out on my own recognizance. And I went home. And how old was your daughter at this point? I had no kid yet. Oh, you didn't yet?

No. Okay. And so this is 10 years before I had her. I'm gonna tell you about the timeline. So I go home and blah, blah, blah. And they get in touch. They said, well, when you come back to court, that's when we're gonna sentence you. I said, okay.

You remember Leonardo DiCaprio made that movie called Catch Me If You Can? Yep. Pium, I left everything and absconded and went back to Oakland. So I'm back in Oakland and- Now can I ask you, you haven't left the state, so are you allowed to be in Oakland or are you just not supposed to leave Los Angeles? I don't know.

I know what the rules are. I know I was getting the fuck out of there. You haven't left the state though. You're going to have to catch me to sentence me. I'm not going to walk in the state, here's today, go in your jail,. You're gonna have to catch me to sentence me. I'm not gonna walk in and say, here's today, go in your jail, okay, here I am. Catch me, catch me. So I went to Oakland and stayed there and did comedy

and was in the newspaper for 10 years. Nuh-uh. 10 years. All by your real name, Lunel and everything. My real name. Now I'm paranoid because my name is in the paper every week. You know how the newspaper has a calendar section? So in the calendar section, comedy clubs and my name.

And I'm thinking they're gonna catch me to that. Well, okay, then when I get pregnant, I have the baby and I sign up for the social services help. The WIC program where you can get milk and cereal and stuff. I have the baby and I sign up for the social services help. The WIC program, we can get milk and cereal and stuff. I signed up for that. And when I signed up for that, the social security numbers crossed up and they knew where I was.

So they had been waiting on you for 10 years. Well, see, if it was less money, I'd have got away with it. How much? Because that's like, I'd have got away with it. How much? Because statues, like if you took 15 racks, that's under the felon, that's a misdemeanor or whatever it was then. And so I'd have just been like, too bad you can't do nothing with me

because statue limitation. But because the amount of money I took, it was a felony. Felonies never go away. You can do a felony at 18 and get busted for it at 65. So they came to my apartment. I was there with my girlfriend. I was sitting watching Young and Restless. We had just had breakfast.

The kid, you know, I don't know what the kid was doing. Kid and my baby was only about like maybe six months old. Yeah, so knocked on the door, and we were in El Campbell here, and my girlfriend being a good girlfriend, he's like, no, she's not here. I could hear him, but I was sitting in a different part of the apartment.

I'm like, fuck. Did you know right then? I said, oh fuck, they done came to get me. So I opened the sliding door and I jumped over the balcony and I'm running around the building and they came around the other side of the building and they got me and I was in my pajamas and robe. So they took me to jail in my pajamas and in my robe.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So now. Ha ha ha!'t been there though, they would have took the baby too. Right. They would have, if her father wasn't going to come get her, she'd have been in the system. But my girlfriend was there, so she had a baby. I go to jail downtown Oakland, get transferred to another jail outside of Oakland called Santa Rita, where they're going to hold me for 10 days. After other city don't come and get me in 10 days, then I get to go free again. But on the ninth hour of the ninth day, no, they came and got me and put me on the chain, put me on the ninth hour of the ninth day, they came and got me and put me on the chain,

put me on the bus, and I had to go down the 880 freeway and pass the exit where I knew my daughter was down there. I knew she's right down there. And you're shackled up on a bus. Are you in the orange jumpsuit and all that? No, I'm not in the jumpsuit, I'm in my pajamas. You're still in your pajamas? No! You're still in your robe and shit? If you go to jail in your pajamas, and you get out 10 years later, you're gonna be released in your pajamas.

And then somebody watches them, and that's what they did when I did get out, I got released in my pajamas. So now I'm downtown LA looking like a skid row bitch because I got pajamas on trying to get on the bus. Oh my god. I've been through it, bro. And it always been diamonds and Rolexes and shit. Oh, that's true. So, so that's why. So how long do you serve? You go to- I did, they didn't find any priors, even though I had some, but they didn't find any priors.

And so they could, for some reason, they couldn't give me a prison, it was 365 days. If you get 366 days, you're going to the pen. But they sent me to 365 days, which is county time. So I ended up doing four months and 18 days on the one year. Any of the time served at the other place and all that? No, no, no, no, no, bitch. You're going to jail in L.A.

and Twin Towers Correctional Facility. Twin Towers, that's where you were. 536-3020 is my booking number. And I was in there and I saw it all and I cried every day. What's the scary, cause I hear that is just an absolute terrifying place to be. Especially for the guy side too, you know, but you're on the women's side.

I'll bet you it's just as crazy in there. Are you fighting for your life in there? You only for, well, you said four and a half months for? Four months and 18 days. Don't skip all my 18 days. I'm sorry, I'll do that three more days. Yeah. Well, as much as I talked for two months, I didn't talk.

Really? I didn't talk to nobody but the CEOs and correctional officers. And here's the real shit. Are you ready for this? I'm gonna sit back because you're gonna spit take when I tell you this. All right.

Now, when I was pregnant, I did the movie The Rock in San Francisco. I had done two movies already. I've seen that one. Sean Connery and Nicholas Cage. The movie I did before that was So I Married an Axe Murderer, which was Mike Myers' first film. Also San Francisco.

That's right. See? So, you know, because I was doing comedy and trying to break in a little acting and all this stuff. So I did So I Married an Axe Murderer. I did The Rock. The Rock was filmed on Alcatraz. I did Swarm called Civil Brand. Civil Brand was raggedy and disgusting, so they were building a new jail, Twin Towers. But it wasn't occupied yet.

So they were able to film interiors in Twin Towers, put it together with the exteriors, the Alcatraz, that's how they made the movie to rock. So now I'm incarcerated in a jail that I'm in a movie about. Hold on. That whole real life imitates art bullshit. You really went to the twin towers and then now you're in a movie

where they're shooting in the twin towers. They've already shot it. And so some of the COs had seen the rock and they're like, Campbell, what are you doing here? I'm like, I don't know. Let me the fuck out of here. You know? But it was beyond miserable because let me tell you about the shit that you take for granted every day. Tell us. Hot water. None. You get none. Lukewarm. Lukewarm. Shower with pressure. The shower in jail feel like somebody spitting on you.

It just dribbles. It's horrible. Bitch is looking at you while you're taking your shower. The soap is about this big. The toothbrush is about this long. So now you're fisting yourself, trying to brush your own fucking teeth. The mirrors are like foil, so to brush your own fucking teeth. The mirrors are like foil, so you can't really see yourself.

The toilet and the sink are connected, so you're never really sure if you're brushing your teeth with toilet water or not. Ugh. You got bunkies that may be detoxing off of heroin, so they're throwing up, shitting, having seizures. One bitch was, I was on the bottom bunk by the toilet. The bitch above me was coming down off a Heron.

She has a seizure, bounces off the bunk, goes splat right next to me and breaks her fucking arm. People don't know this shit I've been through. How many cellmates? But it ain't funny though because, no, there was two. Just two of them. Not four. And so. I love that you say hair on by the way.

Hair on. I love it. And a thing like you see me doing this now, I can't have my arm on cold surfaces that irritates me, triggers me, because the jumpsuit sleeves are here, but everything in jail is cold and metal. So now if you're writing a letter, your arm is cold.

If you're eating, your arm is cold. It's always cold and I couldn't stand it. And I don't like, like the Hilton hotels, their Kleenex boxes and their garbage cans are metal. I don't like that. I don't like hearing it. I don't like metal on metal. I don't like that.

And so I just, those are the things I'm left with. And- Are you getting to see your daughter while you're in there? Do you give visitation rights for jail or is that just prison shit? I'm in a different city. Oh yeah, duh, you're down here. She's in Oakland. Yeah, you're down here. She's in Oakland.

Yeah, you're in LA. Yeah. So I used to hear. Man, what's that like? It was horrible. I cried every fucking day for months. Because she's what, 10 now? No, no, she was like eight months.

She's only a few months old. That's right, because it was 10 years they caught you. I missed her first Thanksgiving, her first Halloween. I got her right in time for her first Christmas. Okay. And it was horrible. You know, I stopped to look the window in County Jail was only this big.

What do you see out there? I see them, I know what I see when I drive by. What do you see? Can you see the freeway? I stopped looking out the window. You did? Because I couldn't stand to see people drinking coffee, going to work, getting on the bus,

pushing their strollers. I couldn't stand to see it no more. So now I'm not talking and I'm not looking out the window. And I've got a bad attitude and a bad mouth. So I did make friends though, when I first started talking, because BET's Comic View, I had already filmed it. So people had already seen it. No, they didn't.

So they would say, what's up Comic View, I had already filmed it. So people had already seen it. No, they didn't. So they would say, what's up Comic View, what's up? What the fuck up? You know. And, but later, you know, after a couple months, you start breaking down and there's no outside wreck at Twin Towers, everything is indoors, so there's never no fresh air. You never getting sun?

Never no sun. For four months? No. Four months and 18 days. Four months and 18 days. No sun? No sun, no air. Wow. No? Never no sun. For four months? No. Four months and 18 days. Four months and 18 days. No sun, no air. Wow. No sun, no air. They had ventilated, simulated outdoor activity,

but it wasn't. And then you get written up, if you wanna holler at guys out to, you know, to lose. Oh, you're hollering out? You can't do that, yeah. Help me. Come put some money on my books.

You know, stuff like that. They don't want you to show me your titties and shit like that. We love to do that. When I you could do that from those windows. Not really. We just did it anyway. And so, you know, there was I had to learn about commissary and they had telethons at clubs in Oakland to give my baby daddy money to take care of my baby

while I was gone. And, you know, I've seen, we had a thing called clothing exchange, but you're naked while you're doing that. And I've seen women get in fights on their periods, naked. And there's bloods everywhere. And you don't know where it's coming from. This is the shit that nobody, my friends, have even thought of that.

Yeah. Well, I mean, you wouldn't. Yeah. You wouldn't think of it. I wouldn't either. You know, but just the fact that you can have a pillow. That's you don't the pillows are the mattress is only this big. You know, so nothing's comfortable. The blanket feels like burlap. No, you don't get a fucking pillow. I didn't know that.

You can make a pillow. Yeah, you can make one, but you don't give even a little shitty airline. Oh, where are you talking about, club man? I'm talking about motherfucking twin towers, correction facility, Suza Chavez Boulevard. No. You get a blanket at night to cover up.

You might get a pillow, but it ain't, it's about as thick as this fucking napkin. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking, yeah. So, you know, needless to say, any blessing that I get, I've earned it. Can I ask you this for real? This is a real question.

Yeah. You serve four and a half months. Four months and 18 days. Four months and 18 days. And that's it. When you get out, is there any, you're on probation for how long? Are you on a house arrest or are you free to perform? I think I had probation for like five years. And I had came back to the bay.

So I had to go back to Long Beach for my probation hearings and for my probation officer meetings, whether I had the money or to Long Beach for my probation hearings and for my probation officer meetings, whether I had the money or not. Bitch, you will be here day after tomorrow at 8 a.m. in court to see your probation officer or we'll serve another bench warrant on you and now you're going to go to prison. So you made them all.

So I had to borrow money. Well, I was doing comedy. I had some, but I had to, it was, probation was a bitch. Was it worth $50,000? Yeah. That's what I wanted to know. Yeah.

Four and a half months don't seem like that bad for 50,000. Nah, I was living it up. I was living it the fuck up. That's the thing, you got to keep the 50. It's not like they took that shit back. No, and then, and here's the thing. So they never made you pay it back? No up. That's the thing, you got to keep the 50. It's not like they took that shit back. No, and then, and here's the thing. So they never made you pay it back?

No, because here's the thing. I knew so much about banking, I knew this bank was gonna go out of business. No. I knew it. And it's out of business. It was West Coast, I think it was West Coast Federal Savings, or whatever like that, savings alone.

I knew they were gonna go out of business. I knew they were not taking care of the business. I knew that they were not doing their shit right. And I said, this bank is gonna go out of business. Well, before I go out of business, let me get a little something, something. So that was another reason I didn't. So there was no one to repay.

I had no reason to take that money. No reason. I had no reason to take that money. But you got away with it for 10 years, then you serve four months, 18 days, and then you're out, probation's five years, so you do got to go meet your pro-offs or whatever. But there's no payment, there's no nothing. They didn't dock your stand up. And you can't get a DUI. No, no, they didn't do it. Wow.

Because when I got out and was going to probation, the bank don't exist, who am I paying my restitution to? Damn. You know, they wanted me to pay it to the court. Well, I didn't steal it from the court. So we fought that, you know, and I don't know. Yeah, because the court is going to steal that. What are they going to do?

They ain't going to give it to nobody. They're going to buy cocaine and bitches like they still do. Yes, they do. So isn't it funny everywhere around DC wasn't legal for cannabis for a long time, but DC was. Yes. DC was. Yeah. And I want to thank the people who brought me weed in DC when I was just there.

Thank you. They're probably politicians. I left with my pockets full. Thank you, DC. All right, so you get out and you say you can't fuck up at all. There's no no no. Or you will go to prison. Yes, you will.

And what did they tell you were facing if you actually go to prison? Do you know? I don't know. I think I blacked out at that point. I don't know what they said. I don't know. I was walking a straight. So, you know, but what it is, is I did learn from that experience. And I, you know, I rather had got it done

when my baby was little and don't know nothing about it. Except for when I told her. It didn't happen when she was 13 and I left her and she traumatized and all that shit. I got all that shit out my system. I didn't do nothing. Going to jail and having a child is straightened my life out. So then I had a goal and that was to take this comedy thing,

what I was doing and see could I just continue to make a living off of that. And it wasn't my goal to be the baddest bitch, I just was because I'm not an industry, I've never been an industry chick. I don't do this shit for the industry. That's the other thing I love about you. I don't give a fuck.

If I never do another movie or television show, again, I can still maintain my lifestyle because the people will come to see me as I work for the people. I wanna make them happy. I've been offered bigger rooms than the one I'm in. I don't want it. I've been offered all kinds of shit,

not to say that I'm not trying to do other things, but just I have to stay connected with the people because that's my brand. You know, and because I've been to jail and because I've done dope and stuff like this, nobody can tell me about it. I already know. And so that's why I used to say when,

when was it Nancy Reagan? Just say no. You say, just say no. I said, that bitch ain't had no good cocaine. No, bitch. What? You know, can't nobody say no, not back then, you know? And, uh, I just, um, I don't regret any of it cause it just made me the person

who I am today, whoever that is, you know? So. So no more mess ups. No, nothing. You went clean and straight. Never had a DUI. I don't do nothing. No, I'm not going to get one. You get driven. Yeah, I have a driver.

Yeah, that's right. A driver is way cheaper than the money they're going to charge you for the DUI. It's your shit. You're going to be going through your own. People I dated a girl years ago that got one and I watched what she had to go through out here. It was $10,000, just gone. You don't get that back.

That's off the rift. That's off the top. Then it was AA meetings. It was no car for a year, taking public transportation or bumming rides. And I was like, man, it ain't, it ain't just ain't worth it. It's not worth it. It ain't worth it.

Go out and drink as many margaritas as you want and call an Uber. Yes. Call a Lyft, that's what they're there for. There should be nobody getting DUIs these days, especially as many kids have been killed by drunk drivers. It's inexcusable and I don't wanna hear it. I'm not passing judgment, but I am.

You know what I mean? Because it's just too many. If you didn't have that back and just had to get some loser cab driver. Okay, but not now. We got Lyft Uber, we got car services and friends you can call and all that kind of stuff. Taxis are still out there too. Yep, them raggedy nasty. They're still out there too.

Still out there. Yep. Can we talk about your dope days? Yeah. How old were you when you started, when you first tried drugs? And what was it? Well, okay, I came through the 70s, you know what I'm saying, and I graduated high school in 77. My parents, when they moved me from Oakland to Castro Valley, they wanted to get me away from the drug influence

that was coming into Oakland. What they didn't realize, they was moving me to the suburbs where the real drugs were. That's right. Where the people have money get the good drugs. Thank you. They had all the pills, they had the weed, they had the cocaine, the mushrooms, the acid.

Yeah. Same when I grew up, like we did not have money, but I knew that if we had, we knew people, kids who had money, they were the ones that had cocaine. There were the kids who had money. They were coke. These were kids that were getting We could get weed.

Cautious at 16 years old. We called it practice weed. We had that dirt seeds and practice weed in Baltimore. Stems and seeds that you don't need. Hockapucka Gold is badass weed. That was Cheech and Chong. Yeah. That's right. So I was in the weed Cheech and Chong days. I had the big bamboo album with the big zigzag in it. And they were selling lids, which was four fingers worth of an ounce for $10.

$10. $10. And this is West Coast weed even back then though. Yeah, I used to steal my parents' quarters that they would use for the laundry and buy weed. And so I would say high school is when I started experimenting with drugs. Yeah, and also you're in the Bay Area up there

and that's all the LSD, Timothy Lear. Yeah, but it's out there. Yeah. You know, I didn't get my dope from the brothers. I got it from the burbs. I'm in the burbs. Yeah, but it's out there. I'm in the burbs. Yeah. You know, I didn't get my dope from the brothers. I got it from the white boys. And so, that's when you try the mushrooms, that's when you try the mescaline, loved that. And sunshine, purple microdot,

all that shit back in the day. So, yeah, then the cocaine wasn't a big problem because that was party drug and you do it and be at the party and everybody doing party. This is back when boys used to dance with girls and we would dance all night long, just blow no big deal. It's when that motherfucking when you started cooking it up, when they started rocking it up, that's where the problems came.

Now, not for me so much, because I was what you call a functioning drug addict. Like I wasn't missing no shows, because that's how I could get the cash, and that's how I could buy my drugs. That's why I didn't suck a lot of dick and become a crack whore, you know, cause I have money to buy my own shit.

And at that time in Oakland, everybody was on dope. School teachers, bus drivers, mailmen, everybody. And you couldn't even get nobody to come over your house unless you had some drugs. So now it's 11.30 at night. Most people are going to bed. Well, bless you. Who's awake?

The dope people and the dope man. So the only people that come over, you know, nobody goes to bed as soon as they get out of work. You gotta eat dinner, watch a movie, Netflix, and chill before you go to bed. Well, us too, but now it's one in the morning for us, for entertainers, and so you call a dope man, get some dope, you don't wanna do it by yourself,

cause I'm like, yeah, now you're up and it's six o'clock in the morning, and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. But I just always was doing shows, like in three and four different clubs in the Bay. So if I fucked off this money today, I go get some money tomorrow. And then I had had my kid was maybe about four and stuff. And I was legitimizing

my drug use because if I fucked off $150 doing dope, I'd spend $150 on her. You know what I mean? I was trying to legitimize it, but it was not good and it was stupid and the paranoia is real and that's really stupid. And the behavior that you can see in some people when they're doing that, you would never see them, you would never see that side of them if it wasn't for that dope. You would never, ever, ever experience that personality trait in those people, myself included, if it wasn't for that strong ass dope. And Oakland had some good shit. I mean, there was drug wars about the dope that was going on in Oakland.

So, you know, that's, I am now just a bonafide smoke a little weed, have a couple of cocktails and I'm going to bed. You know, I wouldn't fuck these kids now. These mollies and the fentanyl and all this shit. You're playing fucking Russian roulette. You are. Well, I wouldn't I wouldn't take a grain and put it on my tongue these days. Never. I don't take somebody's like, I got a painkiller. You're back. I'm like, no, I ain't taking another.

Well, I didn't say that. I don't want anything that ain't coming from where I know. My shoulder hurts and shit like that. Give me some relief. But I'm not. I don't have the addictive behavior that I used to have before. I love you. Listen, thank you for coming on here and doing this episode. What aren't you supposed to ask me? What would I ask my 16 year old friend?

Good for you. I'm about to. I just wanted to say thank you so much for coming here, sitting down here, being open and honest. I wish I had better shit to talk about besides dope and bank robbery. You're just, you're the best. You know, I've had some great things happen too. Yeah, well that's what you talk about on everything we talk about. When I come back. I'll talk about my cousin. You're welcome here anytime. I'm working towards being in my late night talk about. Why come back? I'll talk about my cousin. You're welcome here anytime. I'm working towards getting my late night talk show. Tell us.

So hopefully, well, I mentioned it, that's not here yet, but Jimmy Kimmel is helping me with that because David Letterman put a, I recently met David Letterman. We fell madly in love with each other. I really refer to him now as my new boyfriend, David Letterman. we fell madly in love with each other. I really refer to him now as my new boyfriend,

David Letterman, and he takes Jimmy and that sort of got the ball rolling, so we're working towards that goal right now. And yeah, what would I tell my 16-year-old self, right? Tell me, what advice would you give to 16-year-old Lou Delle? Okay, don't fuck everybody. And just stay away from the cocaine.

Clearly. Listen, that is very good advice. Don't fuck everybody and just stay away from the cocaine. Clearly. That is very good advice. Don't fuck everybody. That is good advice. Hello. And stay away from the fucking cocaine. Oh my God, or somebody that just told me that. But you don't do what people tell you at that age.

You do exactly the opposite of what they tell you. Yeah, but I feel like I'm a success story. I made you do that shit. You are. And, you know, I'm here'm a success story. I made it through that shit. And you know, I'm here to tell the tale. A lot of people aren't. Yeah, you are. Please, one more time, promote whatever you'd like.

Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy Club, every Sunday and Monday at 9.30 p.m. in beautiful Las Vegas. You can go to kimmelscomedyclub.com and purchase tickets. I do sell out. I'm not fucking playing with you. You gotta get tickets so you would be like, oh damn, I missed her. Fourth of July weekend, lit.

At HeyLutonL.com to see where I'm going to be on my tour dates. And just keep your, you know, keep your eyes on me. I'm doing a documentary on me, it's gonna have a book to accompany it. And just shout out to my team, my publicist, Wellisa Bennett for hooking up this interview. Yeah, she's great.

And my manager and best friend, William Hanford Lee Jr., my assistant, Ileana, my daughter, everybody who helps me get where I'm going, I don't know where the fuck I'm going. She's like, you gotta interview the man, who? This is where Orion Six, I'm like, who the fuck is that? And she's like, this guy's got a great podcast. I'm like, okay, whatever.

And I pulled up and he was out there to green me and I told him, yeah, and I said, he kind of cute though. Not as long up in here doing this interview. Thank you young lady. Uh, as always Ryan sickler on all social media, Ryan sickler.com. I'm out there on the road. Tickets are on my website. Go get them.Sickler.com. I'm out there on the road. Tickets are on my website. Go get them, RyanSickler.com.

Hope to see you at a show and we'll talk to you all next week. You