The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Maz Jobrani - Immigrant

Episode Date: January 4, 2021

Happy 2021 to all y’all! My HoneyDew this week is Maz Jobrani! Maz joins me to discuss leaving his home in Iran when he was a child, the racism he experienced in America, and his Grandfather’s death. SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube and watch full episodes of The HoneyDew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler SUBSCRIBE to my Patreon show, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I highlight the lowlights with y’all! What’s your story? https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew SPONSORS: LIQUID IV Liquid I.V is available nationwide at Costco or you can get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code HONEYDEW at checkout. That’s 25% off ANYTHING you order when you use promo code HONEYDEW at liquidiv.com. RITUAL You deserve to know what’s in your multivitamin. That’s why Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/honeydew to start your Ritual today. RAYCON Raycon’s offering 15% off of all of their products for my listeners and here’s what you’ve gotta do to get it: Go to buyraycon.com/HoneyDew. That’s it. You’ll get 15% off your entire Raycon order, so feel free to grab a pair AND a spare. That’s 15% off at buyraycon.com/HoneyDew

Happy New Year everybody! This episode of The Honeydew is brought to you by Liquid IV, Ritual, and Raycon. More on that later, let's get into the do. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew y'all! We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I am Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. I want to thank you again. We're into that next 100-plus episodes, and you guys are just awesome.

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welcome master brownie everybody what's up brian how are you man it's good to see you man good to see you you said you said Tuesday Tuesday where you're from where Maryland Maryland is that how they talk over there way worse than that all right all right that's a little sample of the all right all right Tuesday I like that Tuesday um please before I'm excited to talk to you, but before we do, plug, promote, everything you'd like. Yeah, well, I got my podcast. It's called Back to School with Maz Jobrani. Like you said, it's on YouTube. It's on Spotify.

It's on iTunes, wherever people get their podcasts. Back to School with Maz Jobrani. We bring in people that are experts in different fields. We learn from them, and we try to make it fun. I've had a lot of political people on recently. I just had Willie D from the Ghetto Boys on. Really? That was cool.

Man, I love the Ghetto Boys. Oh, they're great, man. How'd you get that? Well, that's an interesting story. This week, Halloween fell on a weekend. This year, Halloween fell on a weekend. And get to boy with Trick or Treat. So I had heard their music.

I knew of them. And if you've ever played the Houston Improv, Willie D is from Houston. Yes. So I had done the show one night and they said, Willie D is in the green room after the show wants to say hi. And I said, all right. So I go back there and there he is sitting. And it's weird because the career that you and I have chosen,

we run into people that we've seen, right? Like if you've chosen to be an accountant, it's not like you've seen some famous accountant and then one day down the line you're gonna meet that right hey try that here he is man that guy's great with numbers he does taxes so good he finishes that shit on april 14th that dude is the shit man no so there was none of that there was none of that and uh and and and and i meaning there was no expectation to meet this person. But you see these people. You go, oh, there's Ice Cube.

Oh, there's Willie D. Oh, there's Sean Penn. I'm thinking all the people that have. Oh, there's Michelle Obama. I've met all these people in my life just from doing what we do. And so, yeah, I come backstage, and he's sitting there, and we just start talking, get to talking. And he's politically speaking.

We're on the same wavelength. So we hit it off. And so every time I go to houston he'll come check out the show he actually wanted me to he had some uh a big like uh i think it was uh i figured which it was it was some anniversary he was doing a roast he wanted me to go down there and roast them nice that was like stressful because i'm not a big roaster i'm a nice guy yeah but i was like okay i gotta come up with some stuff and i was like all right will I got to come up with some stuff. And I was like, all right, Willie, you're getting older. Instead of Willie D, they're going to call you Willie AARP or something like that. This stupid shit like that.

But it's funny because, well, it's not funny, but unfortunately, I had to cancel because that's when, not this year, but the year before. It was just last year. There was fires in Malibu, and my son had football, and his game got canceled. So then I had to stay here to watch his game later. And just looking back on it, I go, God, those seem like simpler times because I was canceling because of fire. Now I can't even be in a room. Yeah, it's crazy. So, yeah, that's how I met him.

And so he came on and told some good stories. Yeah, so back to school. So you're getting knowledge or you get what else? So I've had, listen, listen man i've had kind of it's kind of like when you have people come tell the stories you realize there's so many interesting people with interesting stories so i had a guy who helped land the rover mars rover on mars he worked for yeah he worked for the jet propulsion laboratory jpl which is part of which was partnered with nasa and this dude is an Iranian-American guy.

His name is Firuz Naderi. He came and told the story. He goes, yeah, we've been trying to land on Mars forever. And then he goes, we worked on – whenever we get into the atmosphere on Mars, the thing would blow up. So once they got the Mars rover, he goes, it went, it went. He goes, we worked on it for four years. This thing goes all the way up to Mars.

And he goes, the problem is once these things get into the atmosphere in Mars, he goes, it takes eight minutes for the signal to come back to Earth. So he goes, we knew it had gotten to Mars, but we didn't know if it landed. So we get, okay, it's there. Now we've got to wait eight minutes to see if it's landed. And he goes, eight minutes go by, and then whoever the mission control goes you know rover has landed and he goes i started crying oh dude i just got chills i get chills too he goes he goes four years we all just started crying i'm like holy moly college eternity right dude so there's a guy like that then there's a lady i brought on who i'd listened to she was um, I forget her name right now, but she had been on Terry Gross,

all things, not all things. She does Fresh Air, which is an NPR interview show. She's great. This lady is a cave diver. Like she goes underneath, she goes into caves. I'm already having anxiety about thinking. I've gone spelunking before, and i wouldn't do that with water in it oh yeah forget it forget it like swims under and finds the pockets and all that finds the pockets

she's the one who like will do like they'll do ropes as they go down so they know how to come back and then it gets dirty and murky underneath she's the one leading that like taking the rope down now yeah yeah yeah and she was telling the story in her book and her book's amazing her book talks about like at one point she and a few other world-class divers are underneath some glacier or some shit. And all of a sudden it starts cracking and it breaks. And now there's current going. And it's like pulling them. And they're trying to use the rope to go back.

And she's like the whole time I'm thinking to myself, you know, if we get stuck here, someone's got to come save us. She goes, wait a minute. I realize the best of the best are like we stuck here, someone's got to come save us. He goes, wait a minute. I realize the best of the best are, like, we're here. Who's going to come save us? I mean, how crazy is that shit, right? So you hear these stories. That sounds great. You know, part of it has been inspirational, you know, to have these people on.

I had a few people on that ran for Congress and for city council. It's all about that. So the whole idea of Back to school with Majo Brana came about because my kids now are 12 and 9. Okay. And a few years ago when they were a little younger,

how old was your kid? Six. Six. So you know how it is. You probably get this all the time. Hey, why is the sky blue? Hey, why is this?

How does this work? How, when does this work? Because they think you know everything. They think you know everything. They do. And I'm watching this, I'm like,

shit, I gotta be, I would have to be Neil deGrasse Tyson to have the answers for everything. And then I say, you know what? I'll start bringing back experts and the way we always bring in experts on my show and the way our shows always start is I have my kids on video ask a

question and we edit that in. Oh, cool. Yeah. So I had a guy, for example, this was actually interesting. There's a guy named Frank Figluzzi. This guy is like the real deal. He's always on MSNBC as an analyst. He's the former assistant director of the FBI for

counterintelligence. So this dude was all about like he knew what was going on. They're the guys who would look into terrorism stuff happening and all that. Like what's going on? Don't leave your house on Thursday. What? Can't say anything other than that. Don't leave your house on Thursday. What? Can't say anything other than that. Don't leave your house on Thursday.

Exactly. So what I do is I tell my son, I'll be like, Dara, his name's Dara. I go, Dara, the guy coming on is a former FBI guy. I go, what's your question for him? He's 12 years old. So he goes, okay, I'm going to ask him if he's ever shot anybody. I go, that's probably the right question for a 12-year-old to ask. So I ask him, and Frank actually has a great answer.

He's like, the truth is, in all my career, I didn't have to. Because he goes, as FBI employees, he goes, we get the highest kind of training to de-escalate those things. And that leads into a quick conversation about this whole, like, is it defund the police or is it reimagine the police? He goes, it's reimagine the police. Re-educate. And he goes, if we could spend the resources that I got to train me to de-escalate, if all our police force had that,

then when, you know, some homeless guy's coming at the cop, he's not going to shoot him. He's going to know how to de-escalate that. So it leads to

really interesting stuff. You know, so yeah, that's been the podcast. Been doing it for a little over a year now with ATC. And you and I

were just talking about, you know, trying to grow it. So yeah, I've been doing the podcast a little over a year now with ATC. And you and I were just talking about trying to grow it. So, yeah, I've been doing the podcast. So subscribe. Subscribe to Maz's podcast. Subscribe. I have my YouTube channel, youtube.com slash Maz Jobrani. What's your social media and all that? My social, it's all across the board is at Maz Jobrani.

And on that, too, you know how it is, man. When this pandemic hit, as comediansians i was so busy traveling the country and the world doing you travel the world the world yeah and then all of a sudden people are like oh no you need to have an online game and i mean i had online people but all of a sudden i go wait a minute i thought online was to promote the live can we just for a second going back to when we started way back whenever yeah it was just getting up and telling jokes all i had to do was write jokes get up and tell them then it became websites and learning wordpress and then all of a sudden the my spaces and the facebooks and the instagram and we you

don't even see actors having to do this like for us as comedians it has been you better keep up with that shit. And then podcasting. And then podcasting used to be audio. We'd all be sitting in each other's living room or whatever.

Now they're fucking TV shows. It's crazy, dude. Make sure you subscribe. Make sure you subscribe. It is crazy because of what you just said. It's like keeping up with the next thing.

We all remember when Dane Cook hit it big with his MySpace page. And I remember him telling me, it was kind of funny because he was like, he's like,

I get a lot of shit, but what did he say? He said something like, he goes, but sometimes when they give me shit, I'm like, hey man,

I got over a million people like me or love me or whatever it is. And he goes, I can actually literally say that because he had over a million people and every comedian was like,

how'd you do it? How'd you do it? Well, then MySpace goes away and then Facebook comes on that because he had over a million views. And every comedian was like, how'd you do it? How'd you do it? Well, then MySpace goes away. And then Facebook comes on. And then Facebook goes away. And then Instagram. As you said, it's like constant. Now that TikTok, I haven't even gotten it.

I know. I got an account, but I didn't do anything with it. No. Because I'm like, I don't know. But in the meantime, the one thing that I've learned a little bit in this pandemic is I used to think, okay, Instagram was like, okay, put your three-minute video so people will go watch the full video. But somebody was telling me, they're like, no, no, no. Instagram's its own thing now. So you got to put the video you got on Instagram is the video that you need to have on Instagram. Don't mess with having people go, oh, now go and

put this URL and go over here. Of course, you put it in there, but people want to be. And then I was like, you know what? That's kind of how I do it, too. Like, if I get videos, I just watch, watch, watch, and then I stop. Yeah. So what is this? Constantly learning, constantly switching. You and I were just talking about this whole, like, then there's Patreon, then there's this, then there's that. And I'm like, oh, my God. It's overwhelming.

It's overwhelming. Yeah, dude, it is. I know. It's a lot of shit. So, look, I want to get into this because I want to know more about you and your background. I know we're going to talk about your grandfather. Yes. But grandfathers always start down the line.

Yeah. So talk to me a little bit about your family and then your upbringing. Let's get into your grandfather real quick. Is this your dad's dad or mom's dad? My mom's dad. My mom's dad. So, first of all, before I go any further, too, also, if people want to get an idea of my comedy stuff, I do have a Netflix special called Immigrants. So they can check that out.

And I talk a lot about being an immigrant because I was an immigrant. So this is a great lead-in to what I am. I am an immigrant. So born in Iran in 1972, and 78 protests start in the streets of Iran against the Shah of Iran. He was the king, basically. And up until then, a lot of people had been protesting, had been unrest. And the Shah being a dictator at the time, now, you know, granted, you could call him like a benevolent dictator as well. Because he modernized the country in many ways.

So he brought a lot of good to the country. But at the same time, he had a secret police that would disappear people. So it's kind of like, you know what I'm saying? Depending on what side you're on, right? He's a good guy if he's good to you. And by the way, the government that comes after him, which is the Islamic Republic of Iran, they take away all that modernization and they pull people back and they disappear a lot more

people. So they're even more atrocious. But let's get back to the Shah. So the Shah had been good at quashing these types of uprisings. So I think in the late 70s, a lot of people didn't think that a revolution was going to happen. So my father's on business in America, people didn't think that a revolution was going to happen. So my father's on business in America, in New York, and he tells my mom, hey, why don't you bring, so at the time it's me, my older sister Miriam, and my baby brother Kashi at the time.

And you're how old at this point? At that point I'm six years old, 78, late 78. My dad says, hey, listen, it's a winter break, two-week winter break. Why don't you bring me and my older sister, come to New York, stay with me for a couple weeks, and then you guys can go back. And by then, hopefully, the protests will have calmed down. And I always say this is a common story for a lot of Iranians. We come here, and the protests get more and more and more. So I would say we packed for two weeks, and we stayed for 40-something years. We never went back.

We never went back. We never went back. Let me ask you this real quick because this is my own ignorance. Outside of coming to the U.S., where is another popular destination people would flee from Iran and go? Where else? That's a great question. like, let's say, India or countries like, I'm trying to think, other countries where, like, other, like, there's places like, I'm not sure Pakistan would fall into it. Basically, a lot of these countries have had Western influence, right? So India obviously had the British running it for a long time, you know.

Or this is a good idea. Algeria and those places had the French. So Iran at some point had some French influence. But for the most part, through the 1900s, starting from the mid-1953, just to go back for a second, Iran had a guy who was democratically elected. His name was Mossadegh. This guy was the parliamentary leader who was democratically elected. His name was Mossadegh. This guy was the parliamentary leader who was elected as that. The Shah, who later ends up in the revolution in the late 70s,

he was the king, but the people had elected this guy. So it was parliament, and then there was the king. Now, the West, England and the U.S., wanted the Shah in power because the Shah would let the U.S. and England have oil interests. I see. This guy, Mossadegh, when he took over, he tells the British, he goes, hey, British Petroleum, you've been taking our oil for all these years. We're going to nationalize our oil and take our oil back. So the Brits go to the Americans and they go, hey, if this guy is able to do that, then Iran will go to the Russians and it'll become communist. So they play the communist card in the 50s. And Eisenhower says, all right, let's do this. And there's a guy named Kermit Roosevelt, who was like the grandson of

one of the Roosevelt, like Teddy Roosevelt or something. He helps lead the CIA coup that overthrows the democratically elected leader. As a matter of fact, years later, I think Bill Clinton apologized for it because for the long time, America was like, oh, we didn't do it, we didn't do it. But it's one of the only, I mean, we live in a time of conspiracy. It's one of the only coups that went the way they planned it to go. Because the fact is, when you try to do a lot of this stuff, human emotions and errors get involved, and it doesn't go the way you want it to go. This went the way they wanted it to go. They brought CIA operatives into the streets of Iran who were saying,

this guy is a communist, communist, and then they overthrow that guy, and then the Shah is in place from 53 to 78, basically. Those 20-something years, Shah is allowing the West to have its oil, and he's taking that oil money and buying weapons from America. So it's like win-win for the right weapons and oil industry so um all of that to say uh um uh uh your question was i got what other countries would people oh yeah so all that to say so so so iranians were iranians would go some went to england like london um some went to England, like London. Some went to Paris. Now you've got to realize, the people who fled in the late 70s were the ones who had the money to do it.

So they were successful under the Shah. And when this Islamic Republic comes in, they go full-on like Stalin executions. So they go, oh, if you were part of the Shah's government, we're hanging you. So they started hanging people. And this is, again, late 70s, right, 79. Ayatollah Khomeini comes in. Right.

And they go, like, it goes full on cult of personality. Women's rights get put. Somebody, there's a female. So wait, they had, women had more rights under the other— Under the Shah. Really? Yeah. So under the Shah, even though there was political—he did not allow political dissent, like in a democratic country where you could go, oh, hey, this president sucks.

Well, if you wrote an op-ed piece, the Shah sucks, someone would knock on your door and be like, come talk to us, right? And so there was a lot of that going on. But that said, he'd also westernized and modernized the country. So there's videos and pictures of Iran in the 70s. Women got their mini skirts on. They're dancing. They're going to discotheques. There's all kinds of stuff happening.

Iranians are very proud people. So there's old videos of when Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton went to visit Iran, that kind of stuff. So there's a human rights activist. Her name is Shirin Abadi, who won a Nobel Peace Prize years ago. She's this tiny little lady. I think she's a lawyer. She made a good statement. She goes, the Islamic Revolution was not a revolution.

She made a good statement. She goes, the Islamic Revolution was not a revolution. It wasn't so much an Islamic Revolution as it was against a woman's opposition revolution. Because all of a sudden, a lot of rights that women had went the other way. So all of a sudden, women had to cover themselves. Before that, you didn't have to cover yourself. I'm sitting here thinking about that now. Like, imagine being a woman then who could wear a miniskirt, and now all of a sudden you've got to cover yourself. You't have to cover yourself. I'm sitting here thinking about that now. Like imagine being a woman then who could wear a miniskirt,

and now all of a sudden you've got to cover yourself. You've got to cover yourself. At what penalty? At the penalty of, you know, it became pretty. I mean, you're going to jail if you're out in the street uncovered. It got dark. It got pretty dark. So they had like morality police who would go around. There's actually, if people are into it, there's a great graphic novel this lady wrote.

Her name is Marjan Satrapi. She is a French-Iranian, and she's one of these intellectuals who wears a turtleneck, smokes cigarettes. So she wrote a two-part graphic novel that got turned into a graphic film. It's called Persopolis. It's Persopolis I, Persopolis 2.

Because what happens is, you know, I love, whenever I read any books about history or whenever you see a documentary about history, you go, oh my God, I can't believe that happened and then that happened, right? So for example,

just a quick side note, I was watching something recently, I forget what it was, some documentary, and it was talking about how Barack Obama, the day when gay marriage was legalized, was also the day when they had the, I think it was the funeral for,

was it South Carolina where that guy went into the black church? Oh, I think it was South Carolina. I think it was around the same time when Barack goes up and he starts singing and all these black church leaders stand up and they start singing with him. And whatever the documentary was, was talking about how he had to go do that. Then he comes back to the White House and the White House is lights are rainbow colors. And Michelle Obama says, I got the girls. And I was like, tell the Secret Service, screw you.

We got to go. This is history because people, I don't know if you remember, people converged on the on the white house to celebrate so she's like i had to take the kids to watch it and i go oh my god can you imagine within the same day you got this and you know murder mass murder and then you got this beautiful you know open freedom freedom yeah so when you go back and look at a lot of this stuff you go wow i wow, I can't believe this led to this. So here you have the Iranian revolution. People flee, like my father was successful under the Shah, but he wasn't part of the, you know, he wasn't part of his administration or anything. So, but my father had enough money to flee. So he flees. And then the Ayatollah Khomeini, so Shah leaves in the early 70s, like January or something. February, Ayatollah Khomeini

comes in. He becomes like, again, if you want to, you know, historical figures, it's a cult of personality, right? So he's this religious leader that, you know, a lot of the people that are religious who are poorer love and look up to. And so once he comes in and he basically is like, well, we don't need all these like intellectuals and people. We don't need these people, like these people that were successful in the Shah. We don't let the doctors leave. Let them all get out of here. Not realizing like you're going to need these people, right?

And then quickly it turns dark. You get the morality police. You get people getting executed. You get women's rights being pulled back. And right around that same time, Saddam Hussein is like, you get women's rights being pulled back. And right around that same time, Saddam Hussein's like, oh, there's turmoil in this country. Let me, because they're on the Iraq and Iran are neighbors. So Saddam's like, let me take advantage of this and try and get some of this oil like region that he wanted, that had been in conflict for a while, that had

been in dispute. I think he goes to get it. And then that leads to the Iran-Iraq war that then goes for another seven, eight years. And Khomeini, in his mind, I've read about this a little bit, where they say that he thought, okay, this revolution is going to spread around the region, like we're going to spread our revolution. And sorry to get really inside baseball with this, but Iran is the main Shiite country, Shiite Islam. Saudi Arabia is the main Sunni Islam. So it's like Protestant and Catholic, right? But Iran's neighbor, Iraq, was majority Shiite. So they have the same kind of religion.

But it was being run by a Sunni, Saddam Hussein. So I think Khomeini in his head is going, well, if these guys have a majority Shiite, we are the biggest Shiite country, it's our neighbor, we should spread our, our revolution should go here, and we should kind of, we should own this area. So he goes into war with Iraq, being confident. Of course, millions of people, like millions of young people, die literally in this Iraq-Iran war.

It got to the point where, first of all, America, going back to the U.S. and military. But real quick, can I ask, all this is going on while you guys are on this break with your dad? This was the first two weeks of it. But then within the next year, the war didn't happen the first two weeks. Right, but this is the unrest is starting and everything. We come to America and we see, oh, wow, this revolution is happening. Khomeini's there. Oh, wow.

And by the way, there's another thing that I haven't put in here yet, but it gets crazier. This is what happens. So late 70s, we come to America. 79, Khomeini comes. Shah leaves, Khomeini comes. Shah is persona non grata. Like the Iranians go, we want him. We want to execute him. Now, you know how they kill Saddam?

The Iranians that took over the Islamic Republic, they were like, we want the Shah because we want to execute him for all the crimes. We're going to put him up against it. They were going to execute him. Well, the Shah was allies with Egyptian Anwar Sadat. He was allies with the U.S. And it turns out the Shah has cancer. So he's fled his country, and he's got cancer. And then he goes, so a lot of countries go, we don't want you because your own country wants you there,

and this could be trouble for us. Like they could cause some kind of problems. Well, first the Egyptian Anwar Sadat goes, hey, we're buddies. Come stay here for a little while. He goes, stays there for a while. Then his cancer is getting worse. So Jimmy Carter at the time says, come stay here, New York, Sloan Kettering. I think it was the Sloan Kettering Cancer Institute. Of course, that's when the Iranians go, well, we don't want trouble, but we want the Shah. You guys have the Shah. So you know what we're going to do? Some Iranian students go, we're going to go take Americans hostage from the American embassy.

So the hostage crisis happens. So it goes revolution, hostage crisis, leads nicely into this war, Iran-Iraq war, where millions of people die, where America's selling arms both to the Iraqis and the Iranians. We were selling arms to both sides. So it just gets messier and messier. Millions of people die. Hostage crisis is probably the one that's closer, in my mind, because when the hostage crisis happens,

similar to everything we see in this country, any time any country or anybody does anything, like coronavirus, right? All of a sudden you've got these knuckleheads going, China virus, and like a kung flu i mean in this case it's the president but there's a lot of people do that i was gonna say yeah but that's the thing the problem is like these guys don't realize that there's gonna be some asshole at a traffic light gonna turn over and see some like south korean guy has no idea what korean and even if the guy were Chinese, he didn't cause the goddamn coronavirus.

Yeah, you're going to yell at him. This knucklehead is going to be, go back to your country, Kung Flu, whatever. You know what I'm saying? So similarly, when the hostage crisis happens, people start picking on Iranians. And I've had other friends, like Ahmed Ahmed would tell me he's Egyptian. He's like, yeah, people used to call me fucking Iranian. So back then, they would call you fucking Iranian. They would beat you up.

So you'd be bullied here in New York? No, no, no. At this point, I've moved to, we've gone from New York to Marin County, Northern California. Great. And you're how old now? I'm like, at this point, so probably like seven, eight. So it was like, I think the hostage crisis happened end of 79. So I'm probably seven or eight years old.

And you're going now from New York City to what I'm thinking is a very white region. Oh, definitely. Well, first of all, New York City for me, I'll tell you the interesting thing. Since I was six years old, when we came to New York, my father— Came for two weeks and stayed. Stayed. But for a short time. My father was a successful businessman.

So he was staying at the Plaza Hotel in a suite. So it was my sister and I playing all day. My dad's doing his business. FAO Shorts, biggest toy store in the world, is across the street. My mom's taking us shopping. I love the color orange because as a kid in Iran, because we were very westernized, I had like Muhammad Ali dolls. I had Spider-Man.

But one of my favorite colors was the color orange because we had similar to the fanta orange drink we had a canada dry made an orange drink okay that was my that was my thing so i come to america my mom takes me to macy's i and it's and by the way going back and looking at it that winter was one of the coldest winters in recent history in new y. So it's super cold. My mom takes me to Macy's, and I get a Snoopy hat, glove, and scarf set that's orange. And I'm sitting there as a kid. I'm like, this is fantastic. I get to go upstairs to the Plaza Hotel, get strawberry ice cream with whipped cream.

Cartoons in Iran, you might have had a half an hour of cartoons. Come to America already, even back then, you got hours and hours of cartoons. All day. So like the revolution was working out for me. You know what I'm saying? It was working out. That's so bad. So I do basically, I do like we're there for about a month. And that's when my dad goes, well, let's find a house because we're living in a hotel.

Let's find a house. So we started looking, but it's so cold. My mom says to my dad, listen, know let's let's get out of here this is too cold here and now years later when my mom and dad split up and divorced my father would be like you know your mom screwed me over because back then there was a building in midtown i was gonna buy it it's worth 150 million dollars i'm like i don't know dad i don't know what to tell you all right what do you want me to tell you yeah you might have been a little drunk i had a snoopy score yeah i had a snoopy you're drunk, so you didn't know what you were doing.

So my dad was, you know, the best character to compare my dad to, and I've always wanted to do a movie based on him, is he was like Vito Corleone in Godfather. In his community, if you wanted something done, he'd take care of it. And he was very generous. And I always thought it was like stories I heard until when he passed away, I had friends of his who would come up and be like, hey, I got to tell you something, man. If it weren't for your dad, I never would have been able to leave the country. Really? Straight up. I've had two or three people straight up tell me

their stories. One guy was like an admiral in the Navy. He escaped. He was living in Texas with his British wife. And my dad was like, sent him plane tickets in Texas. My dad was able to bring his money out. So he's like sending him plane tickets, like in my, in the way my dad would do his business is because there's a lot of pride in our community. And so somebody, if I say to you, Hey Ryan, you know, let me, let me buy this car for you. Like you're supposed to be like, no, no, no. Even if you're suffering, no, no, no. So the way my dad would do it, he'd be like, look, I'm sending you plane tickets. You have two two options you either get on it and come and our friendship remains or ignore it and then never call me again you're out of my life like he would put that kind of pressure on these people

so the guy's like your dad said just get away come out stay with us so the guy comes to stay with us when we're in and then this guy wrote a book about it tells a story and he goes one day my dad's like come on i gotta go to the bank do some It tells a story, and he goes, one day my dad's like, come on, I got to go to the bank, do some business. So he goes, my dad takes his friend to the bank, and he goes, this is in like 1980 or something. He's like, he writes it. He takes a check out for 10 grand, and he goes, he hands it to me,

and he goes, take this. He goes, now, you know, pay me back when you can, but just I know where you are, and I can afford this, and he makes him take it again and the guy goes that helped me

like get my life back together over here so my dad was doing that kind of stuff a lot so sometimes to his detriment

by the way he would buy anytime any friend had something they didn't need my dad would buy it so my dad would

like one time he comes home with a Rolls Royce what? yeah we're like what's this? and he's so-and-so couldn't afford it so i just bought it yeah yeah i swear to god who the fuck buys a secondhand rolls royce my dad that's who you know and i have no idea how that like transaction went down like you know yeah i'm sure the guy was like look man yeah so and here's the funny thing is because you would think you would think that oh that must have been cool to be in a rose i hated

it like i hated it because i was already like getting picked on for like being an oil rich kid yeah tell me about that yeah so so i'm so so the hostage crisis happens and people start calling you fucking iranian and all that stuff and i have some friends that are getting beaten up more than others and i've talked to people now 30 40 years later who go oh yeah man there was death threats and people start calling you fucking Iranian and all that stuff. And I have some friends that are getting beaten up more than others. And I've talked to people now 30, 40 years later who go, oh, yeah, man, there was death threats. There was all kinds of stuff. Like people were losing their minds.

Similar to what happened like after September 11th. You remember? Yeah, of course. There was shooting Indian Sikhs just because they had turbots. Yes. Right? So there was a guy in the sixth grade, and I really hope I remember this right because I vaguely remember this guy.

He would, you know, these guys were kind of like bullies. I was in fourth grade, so they would call you fucking Iranian, you know. And, you know, I was not a smartass, you know, so I think I kind of either kind of took it or I just kind of like laughed it off or whatever. But I had a friend of mine who was this Iranian-American kid who was like Joe Pesci. He liked to fight. So this guy would get picked on and beaten up all the time. And I'd be like, dude, you got to stop talking shit, you know.

But that was the era we were in. And looking back, I remember like the year before in the third grade, I got in some kind of fight, a scuffle. I haven't gotten in too many fights in my life, but I got in a fight on a playground. And I remember the bell rang and me and this guy were still fighting. And I could swear it must have started from kids are going to be like, oh, camel jockey or some shit like that, right?

And I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just there. And the things that got me through were I was a good athlete. So, like, come kickball time, I could hold my own. And I used to also – I had a sweet tooth. And I'd go shopping with my mom, and she'd buy, like, a bag. She'd buy a cart of food that we need, and I had a cart of, like, just junk food. And then I'd go to school with one bag that had a sandwich, drink, and a snack,

and another bag that had, like, Starbursts and Milky Way. I'd be handing that shit out. I'd a sandwich, drink, and a snack, and another bag that had like Starbursts and Milky Wings. I'd be handing that shit out. I'd be bribing my way into friendships, you know. So those two things, plus I think that's where I started to, because I watched a lot of cartoons, you know, and I don't know how it was for you. We're about the same age. I'm 40, and I'm probably older than you.

But in our era, our parents weren't like, let's go outside and play cash. Let's go for a hike. They were working or doing whatever the fuck they could, sit you down in front of the TV and watch this shit. But in our era, our parents weren't like, let's go outside and play cash. Let's go for a hike. They were working or doing whatever the fuck they could, sit you down in front of the TV and watch this shit. That was it. So I think that's kind of where I got my. G.I. Joe, He-Man, Looney Tunes.

Woody Woodpecker. Woody Woodpecker, all of them. I think I got my interest in comedy probably around then. And then I would start doing voices and shit. And now I'm in school trying to be funny. And I think all of that combined comedy bribery of candy and athleticism led to me being able to like deflect yeah deflect and get through that shit you know let's take a quick break and tell you about our first sponsor liquid ivy now if there's one thing we can all agree on it's that 2020 was

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He's got a friend in Reno. So my dad, being the Vito Corlino type, he also liked to gamble a lot. We go to Reno because his friend's like, hey, I'm in Reno. Come here. My dad goes to Reno. And he's like, oh, we'll go stay at the MGM Grand. We got a suite there. My dad, he's like a whale when it comes to gambling. So he's, you know, he's going at it. And every time, every hotel we went to, I swear to God, Ryan, my mom would be like, yeah, your dad's thinking of buying this place. MGM Grand. He wanted to buy the MGM Grand. I swear to God.

I'm not kidding, man. This is like real shit. My dad, everywhere we went, there was another hotel called Cal Neva Lodge on the border of California and Nevada in Lake Tahoe. He's flying on the plane with the owner. He's like, I think I'm going to buy it. He was like that guy. So when my dad's there, he's gambling so much they give us free sweets, free everything. You go ahead and gamble your life away.

Just stay for free. So then he calls a friend of his who's living in Marin. He goes, bring your family. I got rooms for you guys. So they all come out. Then that friend says, why don't you come to Marin and hang with us for a minute? So we end up in Marin. And that's where my dad's like, oh, I love it up here. So he gets a house near there. And that's where I grew up. And so my father was, again, being the kind of guy he was. So it was my

dad, my mom at the time, me and my sister. we get my baby brother. My baby brother stayed in Iran and had to come out like a year later with our nanny. So they come out. Then my mom's pregnant. My youngest brother was born in 1979. And then my dad works on bringing relatives out, right? So he brings my mom's mother out first. Then he brings, then years later, my mom's father, his name was Akbar, like, you know, the A-K-B-A-R, there's an Akbar and Silver Lake. Yeah. So Akbar means great. So they say Allah,

Akbar means God is great. Okay. And my grandfather wasn't religious. My grandfather was, he was, he was ahead of his time. He's like, he's our Mahatma Gandhi in our, in my world. Because he was ahead of his time. He's our Mahatma Gandhi in my world. He was very much a humanitarian, very much an intellectual. And this dude was something else. So he owned a carpet store, carpet business in Iran in the bazaars. So just to take you back to that revolution, and we've seen it here now, right? Like when you have protests or you have, you know, none of us know if we're on the right side of history until history happens.

And then we go, oh, shit, I should never have. Yeah, you're right about that. You never know. You never know. I mean, hopefully you get a chance to know. Dude, give it five, ten years and you'll see. So my grandfather, when that revolution happened in Iran in the bazaar, so what had happened was because the Shah had created so many enemies,

even though he'd modernized the country, he had enemies that were the religious group that ended up taking over in the end, the Muslim, the mullahs. He had, let's say, like the liberal intellectuals who felt like we don't have our freedoms. He had all these different groups. Well, when the revolution happens, you can't just have two segments. You've got to get almost the whole country has got to get to a point where they revolt. So my grandfather was part of what's called the Bazaaris.

There's bazaars in Iran. Every city's got a bazaar. It's like a farmer's market on steroids. So my grandfather's, my Akbar's stores were in the bazaars in Iran. Every city's got a bazaar. It's like a farmer's market on steroids. So my grandfather's, my Akbar's stores were in the bazaars. And so when the bazaaris stepped up, because that's a big part of the economy, when they stepped up and they said, during the protests that led to the fall of the Shah, they stepped up and said, we're going to close our stores and protest of some of the things that the Shah's been doing. That's when the revolution

really started. Like all of a sudden you would have these protests. Originally the protests were just like people that were against the Shah. Then it was like the Bazaaris. It was Bazaaris, doctors, lawyers, professionals. Now you got millions of people. That's when the Shah was like, I'm done, I'm out. So my grandfather, when these protests happened, my grandfather supported the protesters. When these protests happened, my grandfather supported the protesters. And the reason was because he was idealistic in his mind. He goes, well, these young people, they want a better life. Because what had happened was under the Shah, similar to what we're going through right now,

the rich were getting richer, the poor were not. And so these people that were taking over promised, well, we will distribute the wealth to everybody, which they never did. I mean, the Mullahs are dirtier than anybody. But my grandfather was saying when he saw these young people protesting, he was out there being like, oh, here's some food or whatever. Go get, you know, like, good for you, you know. But quickly when he saw Khomeini comes in and he sees that this regime comes in and they start um executing and they start taking away rights my grandfather couldn't help himself he was vocal so he's like i'm in the bazaar cussing out khomeini and my grandfather could cuss like the cussing he would do it was like it was comical he'd be like maya you know who would say he'd be like i wish like i wish a cow

would have like fucked khomeini's mother in the ass. And he's yelling that shit out. Yelling that shit out. And so some pro-Khomeini types. I mean, imagine if under the Trump administration, let's say it had gotten more and more extreme. And let's say all of a sudden all the press had been silenced. And let's just say it got to that point. And let's say all of a sudden all the extreme right was suddenly on board and took over this country let's just say let's say it was religious

based then imagine somebody in the middle of a town square going like fuck trump or whatever well those people are going to come get them oh yeah so my grandfather was yelling things in public and some people were like this dude's's gonna get it. So that's when my dad was like, we gotta extract your mother's father. We gotta get his ass out of there. So they couldn't shut him up, so they moved his ass. Moved his ass. We moved

his ass, man. To another country. Another country, man. Another continent. Exile. Living in exile. Living in exile. That is hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So you bring your grandfather or your dad brings your grandfather over.

How old is he when he comes here? So here's the thing. So my grandfather passes away in 2003. And the truth is, given the fact that he was born in 1903, we think. Whoa, he lived to 100. He lived to 100. Holy shit. Yeah, so we think he was—

He lived a lot longer than I thought he would. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, he lived good. We think he was 98 or 100. We lost—we didn't have his birth certificate. So we'd be like, how old are you? He's like, I don't know, like 97? I'm not sure.

I used to do a joke about that. I said every once in a while, I used to say joke about that i said every once in a while i used to say we said i said every once in a while we just throw his throw his like a candle on a cake for during someone else's birthday we'd be like hey grandpa you blow it out too yeah sometimes we do it twice a year be like i'm aging fast this year like i ended up with two birthdays in one year so so he was probably so if he comes out and let's say oh, I don't even remember when it was. Let's say it was like mid-80s. So we're talking like 20 years. So maybe he was in his, maybe he was in his like 80s or mid to late 70s, you know, or low 80s. And he comes, he lives with us.

And this dude, what was amazing about him was he had a work ethic, man. So he used to, the bazaazaar having a rug store it's like you're constantly folding those rugs putting them away all that this dude could not sit still he was not at all one of these like old people who just sat on a chair and was like give me my you know drink first of all he didn't drink or smoke every once in a while i'd be like give me a ketila he called tequila ketila and um he would wake up every morning. Because he's from an era in Iran when men used to dress up, again, like the godfather. They would put on a fedora. They would put on a suit, sometimes a three-piece suit.

It's funny. Even here, you go back to the black and white days. It's funny. You watch the sporting events from the 50s. These people were in the stands in suits and shit. They're flying in suits. Now we're flying in underwear and panties on our face and shit. Yeah, I've been wearing the same pants

for nine months. Are you kidding me? I have not had jeans on since this started. Dude, you throw COVID in with what the casual world we live in right now. And every time people be like,

well, Steve Jobs used to go to work in jeans. I was like, all right, well, I'm going to work in underwear. So yeah, he comes out here and he can't sit still. So he just becomes like, you know, he would wake up every morning at like 6 or 7 in the morning. Does he live with you? He was living with us.

He was living with us. So he became – so first of all, my mom at the time did not cook. So my grandfather would be cooking. He'd wake up every morning at like 6 or 7 in the morning, make us a breakfast, get into his suit, and be like, all right, what am I doing today? And then every day he'd come up with, he'd create his own agenda every day. He'd be like, okay, I think that these cupboards here need to all be cleaned. And he'd take the plates out, clean the plates, put them all back in. Then he'd be like, okay, today I'm going to go shopping.

And he didn't speak English. That's what I wanted to ask. How did he take to being here? Did he enjoy it? He was just an amazing- But he got around without He was, you know, he was just an amazing— But he got around without speaking English, huh? Yeah, he was an amazing human being. So first we were in Marin with each other, and then I think he liked moving down to L.A.

because Marin, it was suburbs, so he needed to have people drive him here and there. But in L.A., especially in Westwood, L.A. has the biggest population of Iranians outside of Iran. Is that right? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah.A. has the biggest population of Iranians outside of Iran. Is that right? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. So whereas in L.A., when I would run into, I'm sorry, in Marin, if I ran into an Iranian, it was an event.

I'd be like, oh, my God, who's your dad? Oh, my God, hey, hey. Down here, it's like, especially in Westwood, you'd run, hey, are you Iranian? The guy would be like, yeah, so is everybody. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. I swear to God, Westwood Boulevard. Is that why that stretch of Wilshire with those beautiful condos and all, is that an Iranian community? Well, yeah, that's the Wilshire Corridor.

That corridor, yeah. The Golden Mile there. There's a lot. Some of those buildings are just mostly Persians. Wow. And there's a lot of Persian Jews that live there as well as in Beverly Hills. And then there's a lot of Persian Muslims that live in Irvine. I knew some celebrities had condos in there and stuff, but I always wondered what the

hell everybody else did in that little corridor. They brought their money from that country. Yeah. Yeah. And they bought property. A lot of them bought property. Yeah. Yeah.

So my grandfather, I think what he liked about Westwood was he'd be able to walk into town and there was a couple of stores he'd go hang out and do his shopping, but he would also hang out and sing for the but he would also hang out and sing for the guy and tell poetry back in the day think about this storytelling back in the day there's a Persian tradition it was kind of like

rap battles but it was with poetry so you and I would sit to entertain themselves we would sit there and be like he who goes farthest is not the thing. He'd be like, yeah, but he who did. And they'd go back and forth. So he had poems memorized, like, forever and ever.

Their brains were working, man. So he would go, and he had songs that he knew, and he had poems. So he'd go to, like, some of these stores, Persian, like, grocery stores. And he'd just go buy his shit, and then he'd just hang out and talk to the store owner and be like, somebody would come in, the guy would ring him up and then they would all the conversation would keep going so he'd be gone for hours he loved it and and but what was amazing about him though was again being kind of a humanitarian like he would make friends just by doing look he's bored to death right so i remember one time we were living in marin there was like

some construction site about a mile away. My grandfather's like, come on, give me a ride. I got to do something. I'm like, what? He's like, next thing you know, he goes to the kitchen, picks up a pot and pan. He's been cooking. And he brings the stuff in the car down to the construction site. And the dude, some American

guy's like, hey, your grandfather keeps bringing us lunch. He was just making lunch? Just making lunch for these guys working. He's like, hey, your grandfather keeps bringing us lunch. He was just making lunch. Just making lunch for these guys working. He's like, here you go, man. Random construction workers. They loved him. They knew him.

Everybody knew him. He's like, oh, we love this guy. He's like, what's up? And my guy's like, yes, yes, thank you. He didn't speak any English. You know, it's crazy. I can't imagine living in another country where I don't speak the language and just showed up at a construction site with pizza and shit.

That's the thing. He just was like, let's do it. He's like, let's just do it. That is great. He would do that. And it's funny because my mom, he used to say my mom is stingy because my mom was not as generous as him. um so so one time like when we live in la and this is again whatever it was late 90s at this point he he took some like blankets that we had at the house and he took them down the street he'd seen a homeless person so he went over and was like here's some blankets then he told me he's like

don't tell your mom she's gonna get pissed off that i gave away the blankets and i'm like i mean just like do you do you man and that's the guy he was. And people knew him. And he was like, so he was very much like, you know, he would teach us lessons. Like, you know, things that I remember to this day, he would say, I remember, because, again, he was not a lazy person at all. I mean, I'll tell you, Ron, like, for example, again, when we were in Tiburon in Marin, I don't know what happened, So, again, we were in Tiburon in Marin. I don't know what happened, but one of my dad's friends gave my dad, like, a bunch of, he either gave it to him or, yeah, it was a bunch of, like, big pieces of tree trunks. We had a fireplace.

So he's like, hey, here's these tree trunks if you want to use it for your fireplace. So they're sitting there in the backyard. And my grandpa's like, all right, so what now? And I now and i'm like well we gotta get someone to cut this shit up so they he's like get someone he's like you are the someone yeah you're like what are we gonna do he's like well we gotta get it we gotta get a saw i mean you know so next thing i know i'm at a place called big four rents renting a chainsaw i've never worked a chainsaw i'm 14 15 years old you know i'm a teenager. I don't want to be doing it. I'd rather be masturbating or something. Yeah, for real. He's like, let's go

to this place. Let's get the rental and we'll do it. None of us knows how to do this, but we do it. So there I am with a chainsaw, just cutting wood. That's the kind of guy he was. Let's get it done. One time I got him in trouble because he goes in the backyard. All these leaves have fallen. Without telling us, he's over there. I mean mean he will find things to do every day sweep sweep sweep next thing you know we're all sitting at the house and we hear we look outside fire trucks you know what's going on we look in the backyard he started a fire he burned him he's trying to burn the leaves not realizing you can't i each can't just yeah he's like back in the old country you can do this shit so that's the kind of guy he was, man.

And he told me, like, one time he was, like, you know, sitting in the living room. And he's like, hey, could you get me a glass of water? And I was like, sure, sure. And I went off to do something else. You know, a couple minutes later, he's like, where's that water? I was like, oh, I was doing something. I get it. He's like, listen, man.

He's like, in life, if you say yes, just do it. He goes, because the person who asked for the water, they want that water. So he goes, you can either say yes or say no. But if you tell somebody yes, then do it right away and do it like get it done with pride. And I was like, damn. I use that on my kids sometimes.

I'm like, if you guys just tell me no, then I'll go do it. Isn't it crazy that little moment? It's just a moment. That's a moment in time that just is etched in you, and it is the right thing to do. So he lives with you the entire time? He stays with you guys? The entire time. So what happens is my family—

I'm sorry to interrupt, but you get a good 20 years with him, roughly? Yeah, we get a good 20 years. I mean, I remember I was a kid when I was in Iran, but then when he lives with us. But here you got him in your house. You had that daily influence of that man. Yeah, we probably had him for 15 to 20 years. Wow. If the numbers are right.

And the fact is he became, again, because my mom did not cook. And then my father, so in the early 90s, so my father would come to America with all this money, loses it in bad real estate investments. He was buying shit all the time. Trying to buy the MGM and shit. Yeah, exactly. So in the early 90s, the Iranian government realizes, oh, wow, we had kind of a brain drain as well as a financial drain.

A lot of people that could left. So they go, look, if you had properties in Iran and you left at the revolution, 10 years had gone by, no hard feelings, come back and do business, bring your money back here. So a lot of people started going back, my father included, went back to Iran to see if he could do something with his old real estate to try and spark some business.

So he goes, so my grandfather kind of acts as the man of the house. At that point, I'm in college at UC Berkeley in Northern California. My two younger brothers are home with my mom. So grandpa's kind of like there to help and assist in any way that he can, but he's also living his life and he's also this amazing influence on all of us. I mean, he was like, I said, he was like the Mahatma Gandhi, and he was funny, and he had a sense of humor. He would sit around. There's a Persian radio station that talks only politics,

so he'd just be listening to that all day. And then again, once in a while, he'd just be sitting there, and he would get so worked up. You know how right now everybody gets worked up, whether you're pro-Trump, anti-Trump, whatever. You go, fuck that guy, guy fuck the list whatever people use he'd be sitting there sometimes listening

listening listening in his three-piece suit you know in a suit in a suit he's sitting there listening to this

and then I'd be like whatever I'd be you know eating lunch and you know over on the

on the little dining room table and all of a sudden he'd be like mea cow fuck he'd just he'd just go off I'd be like what he'd be like this he'd be like may a cow fuck he just he just go off i'd be like what he'd be like this

he's like going off just himself he was the most amazing dude man so yeah so he was um a big part of our lives and he really i think you know um would he come to like any events you guys had any or sporting events it was funny man he wasn't't, like, if he, he was always game for whatever. So, first of all. He seemed active. That's why I asked. Like, he would not, he does not seem like a dude that would sit in a fucking house. He did not.

If you said, hey, we're going, he'd be like, let's go. Yeah. He would, first of all, again, like, he used to take, there was a Santa Monica farmer's market. He used to take his 50 cents, get on the bus with his... He'd do shit, dude. He used to sew... This is actually great. I'm sure these bags exist now, but there was... We used to have... Rice is a big part of the

Persian diet. You'd get rice in a big burlap sack. You'd take that burlap sack and another burlap sack and you'd rip them apart and then he would spend time sewing them together. Now you've got one big burlap sack, and he'd rip them apart, and then he would spend time sewing them together. Now you've got one big burlap sack. Then he would get pillowcases that are old, sew those on it.

Now you've got a flowery burlap sack case, and he'd take that, get on that bus, 50 cents. The bus driver knew him. How you doing, pops? Hey, get on that bus, go all the way to Santa Monica Market from Westwood. Get out. Fill those things up. Show up. And they knew him.

Because my sister and I followed him around once to make a document. He'd show up. There's these guys, Mexican dudes, that sell oranges. It was actually interesting because they don't speak English. He doesn't speak English. But they know each other. Grandpa would show up and be like, hello, hello. And he'd give it to the guy.

And the guy would go, got it. They would hold his bag and take that whatever it is, a 10-pound bag of oranges, put it in the bag. While Grandpa went shopping, get his other stuff, and then he'd come back to the same place, pay them, put everything in his bag, and take off. So this dude was doing that all the time. It's amazing to me because I feel like I think i've rode the bus in this city since i've been here maybe two times yeah the metro one or two times you know a handful yeah never and he says his daily thing he's finding out schedules timings he knows where to go in another country doesn't speak the language dude other level i mean it is other level if you didn't get inspired

by that guy and that's before internet and GPS, phone, you know, all the easy shit. None of that. Yeah, he passed away in 2003. So you gotta imagine exactly what he just said.

He just got to start using that stuff. And he was game for whatever. So if you'd be like, hey, Grandpa, first of all, because we had cars, so if you wanted to go

shopping somewhere else, hey, give me a ride and I need a ride to go get whatever. But I remember like, I was in the movie friday after next that came out in 2002 i think took him to the premiere it was in westwood had the whole family at the premiere he didn't send a single word he just sat around and at the end he was like that was good i go what'd you get out of it i don't know but we were laughing so he was like he sat through a two hour hour and a half

movie not understanding anything about it but just seeing me on there be like i had a good time you know so he was definitely wherever you wanted to go whatever you wanted my cousin my cousin from london uh his name is amir who had a fun almost like a um uh bless you um he had a whatchamacallit relationship with him they were kind of that's what I'm looking for like getting into trouble kind of relationship

so my cousin was single at the time and he'd come visit from London and he'd be like he'd take him to strip clubs come on yeah we'll go to strip clubs

and my grandfather's funny because he'd go there and he'd be like, what's this? And my cousin would be like, it's a strip club. And then my grandfather would be like, oh, I don't know if it's nice for these young ladies. He'd feel bad for them. And he'd be like, well, we should get out of here. But my cousin would make fun of him a little bit, like in a fun way. He'd have fun with it.

So he was something else. He was very much enlightened. He was something else. He was very much enlightened. There's a poem in Persian that talks about surrounding yourself with good people. I always think of him whenever I think of that poem. It talks about, because there's a musk and an aburgus. These are the kind of muds that people used to put on themselves in these bathhouses.

And it talks about like this, like someone's at a bathhouse and they get a mud and they go, oh, my God, this mud smells so good. And they ask the mud, he goes, are you this kind of mud or this kind of mud? And the mud goes, well, I'm just the regular old mud. Like I didn't have any of these scents. But I had like a good influence. A flower sat with me for a day and then I got this smell. So you compare your grandfather to that flower. You're like that influence helped me a lot to be who I am.

So how active was he in his 90s? Was he still getting out there and getting around and stuff? Really? So he never really sort of was bedridden or anything like that just the end of his life so so for me what was interesting with him was i always think to myself god if he could live a life like that again he didn't he didn't drink he didn't do drugs he didn't smoke once in a while he'd have a drink right drank tea like all we drink tea all the time he'd have like three four you know glasses of tea a day. But other than that, was relatively healthy. Go for

walks. Like to get out of the house. Was he still there mentally and everything? Mentally sharp. The only thing he lost was his hearing sometimes. Like, hey, Grandpa. He's like, what? And also sight, but then he got, I mean, you know, like he got like cataract surgery or something. So he was fine.

He would read books. Read books. He notes. Like he had poems memorized. He knew history. He was just very inspirational, like stay active. Like my father who lived, my father passed away at 76. And my father used to say, he's like, look, I'm in my 70s, but I've lived 700 years. Like he went went hard my father used to drink he used to do the drug he did party grandpa did not um and and you know grandpa was able to live until like at some point in his 90s you know we're all getting a little worried he's getting older but he's still fine he's still active so he was in his 90s, and I think he had like a gallstone, a gallbladder or something.

So he had to have an operation. And, you know, again, remarkably, he recovered fine. Recovered fine. He was ready to go. But like a year or two after that, we went to see a doctor, and they told us he had colon cancer. We never told him that it was cancer. We just said because mentally he was still going.

So we said, hey, you know, remember the gall thing you had? I mean, that's what they say. If you live long enough, that's what they say takes you out in the end anyway, colon cancer. Like if you're fortunate enough to be that old, that's what's going to get you. Yeah, so he had it, and then there was an experimental drug that he was taking, and we would say, oh, you're just taking it for that thing. And he was active until like the last maybe month of his life. And in getting the, because they give you literature from the people who come from the,

what's it called, the hospice care they come with literature and they go here's some literature for you to read to be familiar with what's going on and part of it is they say as the person goes towards like the dying starts they lose interest in the things that they like to do

so if the person liked to walk up all of a sudden they're like I don't want to go for a walk today or whatever it is so I started walk up, all of a sudden they're like, I don't want to go for a walk today or whatever it is. So I started seeing that. So all of a sudden Grandpa, whereas Grandpa might nap for an hour a day, he was now napping two hours a day. Whereas Grandpa used to have breakfast in the dining room, he starts having breakfast inside a bedroom or something.

And then his appetite starts going down. And that's when I start getting worried. And I used to take him to the doctor a lot. And so we go to the doctor and we're like, because he'd been giving him this medicine. I think it was called Zolota. It was supposed to, you know, kind of act like chemo, fight off the cancer.

And then the doctor goes, hey, again, we never told grandpa. He's like, I got bad news. He's like, this is now, you know, terminal. And so that last couple couple weeks, I remember. Did you ever tell him? No, we never told him that. We just let him. Every day, all of a sudden, he'd be sleeping more.

He'd be eating less. And he'd be like, oh, get some rest. Don't worry about it. I don't know if in his mind he knew. But I remember when I got the call from the doctor saying this is terminal, I remember calling my aunt, who's uh just two years older than me my my my mom's youngest sister was born around the same time i was born and so that was her father and to to her he was like a god to us to all of us he was a god sure but i remember calling her and going like just

get some tequila and come over this is bad news you know we all gathered around him us, he was a god. Sure. But I remember calling her and going, like, just get some tequila and come over. This is bad news. You know, we all gathered around him. And he was in the living room on the ground. And there was actually a famous Persian singer. This guy's name is Faramars Aslani. And he is, like, got a great voice. And his music is, like, with guitar, kind of acoustic guitar. Because Persian pop is, is like something else but

this guy plays like acoustic really nice like you don't even need to know what he's saying to to to enjoy it and this guy had become a friend of the family through some friends and he liked my grandfather because my grandfather used to sing this ancient persian style which is all vocal and so whenever like any of these artists would come over, my grandfather would be like, let me bend your ears for a minute, and he would start singing for them. So this guy, Farmer Azaslani, I'll never forget,

when he heard the news, and some of these guys are so deep, when he heard the news, he just came over with a tape recorder, and he sat next to him, and he's like, hey, how are you? I'm here, let's sing a little bit. So he's got him singing at the end of his life.

I have no idea where that tape is right now, because I think it was too painful for me to listen to it again so were you there for his last breaths so this was like the hardest thing i had to deal with so he was in a hospice bed in our house we all gathered around him and there was highs and lows there There was moments when, you know, all the grandkids and all of us are around and like he's laying, you know, he's laying down and he's getting morphine at that point. Hospice care comes, so he's out of it, but it's taking time.

So there was times when we're like, we had like little wigs. We put them on, put on the wigs, start dancing and like laughing. And then there was times where we'd be sitting around crying. At one point, that cousin of mine that I told you that was mischievous with my grandfather, he'd come from London, and I was like, I hadn't done stand-up. And I was like, okay, I got to go to the club.

Because I felt like having watched guys like Richard Pryor and all these other guys talk about things that were heavy, I was like, I got to go and kind of get this off my mind. So I remember going to the club in the original room. My cousin in the back and i was just talking about like yeah i've been home my grandfather's like passing away and like you're trying to find some comedy in there to laugh you know maybe i don't remember what i said i might have been talking about the fact of like you know it's taking longer than i thought you know like you know whatever it was but that helped me a little bit cope with it and then i remember part of it was like all right you wake up in the morning sitting there and then you stay as long as you can but then i was like okay i'm gonna try and conduct business as i go and i was

in the process of buying this car so i remember going to this dealer and i'm sitting there like you you and i and the dealer's right there, and we're talking, and my phone rings. And I answer the phone, and it's my aunt. She goes, he passed away. I was like, shit. And I get in the car. I just rush home. And I wasn't there for his last breath.

I don't really regret it because I'm like, I was there. You can't live your life that way. You can't live your life that way. And also, it's like, you know. You were there for all the important ones. I was there, you know, and it was almost like too dark at times, you know. And then, of course, at that point, my mother and my older aunt were, like, losing their minds and crying and screaming and all that stuff. And it was actually interesting because we live in one of those high-rises on Wilshire.

And people all knew him because he was always downstairs he was always active he was always there so people are coming by to give their condolences and this one lady comes by that evening and we're trying to keep it like just family but this lady comes by and she was this uh older white lady who was a total alcoholic like like green face alcoholic and she had become friends with grandpa she didn't speak English she didn't speak Farsi I mean she didn't speak farsi he didn't speak english but they'd become friends because she would always see him coming and going so she comes in she's like i'm so sorry i was like yeah yeah and she's like and and we felt bad we're like well you want to come in come on and she's like hey i'm not drinking i'm okay i'm okay then she saw like there's someone she's like i'll have a

one of course right yeah right and it was funny because I did I did a joke once about it because because then maybe just one maybe just one right then we end up on the balcony

and she was like yeah you know he's he might be gone but he's with us right she's like you see that star

that's him and it was funny because I kind of look at the star and I'm like and in my mind I'm like oh that star's moving

that's an airplane and I was like I was like you're a that star's moving. I go, that's an airplane. And I was like, you're a drunk ass out of here. She's like, you might want to go to the airport and pick him up. He's going to be landing soon. This has been great, dude. Yeah, man. Well, thank you.

That's a hell of a story to have an influence like that in your life. I mean, fuck your life in your house. You had that man in your home from different worlds and everything. I think that's awesome for you guys. And now you have those stories for your kids, those memories. Yeah. Man, to live to be 100 in today's world, I tell you. Can you imagine? No.

I can't. The one thing that I did learn also is just be active. We hear it all the time. Keep the machine moving. Just keep moving. I mean, even under COVID, I've had times when, because I'm not touring, I'm like, all right, well, then I'll just do housework. Or go for a walk. When's the last time you were able to actually get outside and go for walks and breathe some fresh air?

The traffic's dead around here for a while. It's been, I mean, that's been at least fortunate. It could be worse. I know this is an least fortunate. You know, it could be worse. I know this is an awful weird time, but our air could be poisonous. Our water could be, you know what I mean? Like, it's. You just got to keep moving. It fucking sucks.

Keep moving. In life, literally. Keep moving ahead. Yeah. All right. So this is your first time on the show. So I want to ask you now now going back uh what advice would you give to your 16 year old self you know the advice i would give to the 16 year old self is again

coming from an immigrant background my parents really kind of uh influenced me to not get into this comedy world earlier i'd wanted to do acting and theater and all that stuff i did in high school and all the teachers would be like you got what it takes and and they would like my parents would come to a show and my the teachers would be like, you got what it takes. And they would like, my parents would come to a show, and the director would be like, your son's really good. And my dad, thank you, thank you. And then in the car, my dad would be like,

don't listen to those teachers. That bitch is crazy. That bitch is crazy. Yeah, don't listen to these positive teachers. You're going to be a lawyer or a doctor. Like, that's it. None of this. He goes, I swear to God.

My dad took me for a walk one time. He was like, son, you'll never be successful in the entertainment industry. I go, why? He goes, because we're not Jewish. I'm like, dad, really? I swear to God. My dad took me for a walk with him. He was like, son, you'll never be successful in the entertainment industry. I go, why? He goes, because we're not Jewish. I'm like, dad, really? I swear to God, I said that. He's like, you know, be a lawyer.

I was like, oh, like they're not Jewish lawyers? Yeah, right. So, yeah. And listen, I always try to go, never have regrets. Because those years when I went to Berkeley, I made some great friends. I got a chance to study abroad in Italy. The experience I had was something else. But I didn't get into stand-up until I was 26.

And I probably could have started at like 17 or something. So I go, you live once. And that's when I was 26 when I had my light bulb moment. You live one life. You can't live to impress your parents or for them, your girlfriend, anybody. You can't live for anybody else. If you have a passion that you really love, you got to do it. That's it. And don't wait on it either. I had a guy in his 60s. His name was Joe Rind when I was, you know, in my mid-20s. I was working at an ad agency and Joe gave me that

advice because I told him I wanted to save up some money till I was like in my 30s to start trying to pursue this. And he's like, listen, he goes, I'm in my 60s now. And he goes, there was things I wanted to do in my 20s, never got around it. But if you're going to do it, do it. And I was like, oh my God, light bulb moment. I read this thing the other day that going back to that for, especially if you're older, the best time to invest or plant that tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now. Yeah. Because in 20 years, you're going to say the same shit. I should have done it when I was 20.

I should have done it when I was 40. I should have done that shit when I was sick. Do it. Do it. Do it now. Do it. Right. Dude, thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you, Ryan. Please promote everything again. The podcast, your social media, Netflix. Yeah. At Maz Jobrani. Yeah, at Maz Jobrani across the board, M-A-Z-J-O-B-R-A-N-I. YouTube channel, subscribe. I drop an episode of Back to School with Maz Jobrani every week, iTunes, Spotify, et cetera. And then my Netflix special is called Immigrant.

People can check that out. But, yeah, follow me on the podcast. Hit me up if you've got suggestions, ideas. I'm always responding, so I'm there. You're great, dude. Thank you so much. As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week. Thank you.