The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Nadav Itzkowitz aka BlueBan

Episode Date: April 13, 2020

My HoneyDew this week is YMH Producer Nadav Itzkowitz aka BlueBan! Nadav shares stories about ripping his lucky pair of pants, getting rejected on a ferris wheel, and getting rectally probed during a doctor's visit. He also discusses the time his Dad tried to convince his professor to fail him. All this and more in this week's episode of The Dew! Make sure you subscribe to my YouTube & be ready to watch The Dew there beginning June 1! Sponsor: Go to http://omaxhealth.com and enter code HONEYDEW to get 20% off CryoFreeze and sitewide.

This episode is brought to you by Omax Cryo Freeze. Also, don't forget to get your night pants and make sure you subscribe to my YouTube. There'll be links at the end of this episode. Now let's get into the do. You're listening to The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here at Studio Jeans doing it at your mom's house. I'm Ryan Sickler.

Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. Rocking that quarantine hair and the facial hair as long as my hair has been in decades. If you have not seen the Tom Segura episode, check it out, obviously, first of all. But second of all, there's some very important information regarding the honeydew. I'm going to be moving the honeydew over to my YouTube channel. So at the end of this episode, there'll be some subscribe links. You can click right on them there.

There'll also be some subscribe links in the written description as well. And I'll be blasting it all as well. June 1st will be them there. There will also be some subscribe links in the written description as well. And I'll be blasting it all as well. June 1st will be over there, but in the meantime, we'll keep doing it over here at your mom's house. And while we're on lockdown, I don't know what the cure, I say, to the coronavirus is,

but the cure to comfort to the coronavirus is Honeydew Night Pants, y'all. Available at the store, merch store. Got some classic tees there hoodies evergreen shirts and everything going on over there uh ryan sickler.com hit the store get your honeydew night pants take pictures of them send them to me i'll blast them out there and they're not just a cure for comfort during the quarantine they're 24 7 at this point if if night pants aren't acceptable where i think when we get

out of this i'm going to do a honeydew night pants tour we all just stay in our night pants and you can come meet me and greet me and get a new pair at the show anyway uh what we do here is we highlight the low lights i always say these are the storytellers but these are the stories behind the storytellers and today's storyt storyteller, I'm very excited. First time here. Not the first time at your YMH, but the first time here on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, blue band himself, Nadavitz Gowitz. Welcome to the Honeydew, y'all.

Great to be here. Great to be here. It's great to have you here. Thank you for having me, man. You sit back there and you laugh a lot all the time. I had never met you prior to coming to YMH, which also blows me away. Yeah. Because I've done the show so many times, but you were always somewhere else, I guess.

Yeah, that was back when I used to do everything remotely. Yeah. So now, and God help us, we don't have to go back to doing that with this fucking shit. But I can't wait to sit to get to know you because you sent me very professionally sent me your stories ahead of time like everybody else does well i did not expect it from you i produced the show ryan i know what you need to get good show you're so i'm trying to give you what you need and i just want you to know you're the one that had to pass of not having to do that but you did your motherfucking professional i wouldn't do that have you like walk in blind

into this here's what I want to talk about I'm not a comedian I'm not a professional storyteller So I mean hopefully this comes out good It's already going great But before we get into your storytellers Because you do have some good stories to tell Please plug, promote

Whatever you want to talk about Oh okay Plugs, Jesus Well if you want to talk about. Oh, okay. Plugs, Jesus. Well, if you want to follow my Twitter, it's mostly just YMH stuff on there, YMH Blue Band. If you want to follow me on Instagram, I'm VeryNadavShow. If you want to see me play video games and stuff on Twitch, twitch.tv slash VeryNadavShow, and that's pretty much it. All right.

So I want to start at the beginning with you because i don't know much about you first of all you have the most jewish name i've ever even heard of in my entire life like when they gave me when tom first gave me your name i was like come on dude you know it's tom so i was like that come on bro it's gowitz for real there's still one of these guys out there when i first heard my name, I thought the same thing. I'm like, you have got to be fucking kidding me. All right, so where are you from originally? Are you from California originally? Yeah, born and raised in Santa Monica.

Both my parents are Israeli. They moved here in the 70s. Why? Why did they leave to come here? I mean, it's a good question. And did they come right to California? Yeah. So my dad's a jeweler. So, I mean, I don a good question. And did they come right to California? Yeah. So my dad's a jeweler.

So, I mean, I don't know the exact story. Yeah, right. Literally hitting all of them. Hitting all of them. I can't wait. Yeah. So he was a jeweler, and I think he moved here to try and go into business with some of his partners, I think. Like from back in Israel, like, let's start shooting America.

Also, I'm not 100% sure. I never really asked. I never really cared. So how about your mom? What did your mom do? My mom was a homework. Well, it was like a stay at home mom for most of it. You know, she raised four kids on the youngest of four kids. Oh, wow. And then eventually, like she started getting back into the workforce, like working in like marble and tile stuff, worked a couple couple summer construction jobs working for her and the neighbor. But yeah, just kind of like born and raised in LA. Yeah. And what was your upbringing like? I mean, were you schooled?

Jewishly? Not just Jewishly, but strictly. like i mean are you were you schooled um jewishly yeah not just jewishly strictly like was it all like did you because i don't i know we did public school and then i was made to go to sunday school okay you know what i mean oh yeah so what was schooling like being a young kid and and you were born here though yeah okay um so i had private jewish education my entire life my it was very important to i don't know if to both my parents but at least to my dad that grow up jewish now it was important to my mom too so they're like let's raise them around jews and all that take them to a jewish school that teaches them how to pray how to speak hebrew how to do

all that stuff because you can't pull people don't know off cameras that I like when you count me in in Hebrew. Hebrew was my first language. It was first. Yeah. Okay. Always spoken in the home and stuff like never English in the home. Yeah, that's how we were raised. Always spoke Hebrew to my parents.

But, you know, being the youngest of four kids, they kind of started getting lazy once they got to me where there's just, there's a lot of pictures of my siblings growing up, fewer pictures of me. Yeah. Uh, I don't know. Like I was the only kid that really got in trouble, like testing the limits. Like my mom always said that I kept it interesting, that I just did stuff that my siblings never did,

like get in trouble with friends. You know, that's probably the gist of it, getting into a lot of trouble with friends. So English you're being taught in the school system only then, and you speak Hebrew at home. Right. Well, I mean, like we have Hebrew class at Jewish school. But because Hebrew was my first language, I didn't really learn anything new there.

By the time I got to high school, they were just having us read Israeli newspapers in class. They weren't teaching us anything. It's just like, here's today's paper. Read it. Really? Mm-hmm. Damn. Yeah.

So what is that like? I mean, did you guys have sports teams? Did you guys have – like, what is it? We didn't have a football team. I was going to say, what is your? Not allowed to touch it. Not allowed to touch that pigskin. Wait, for real?

Yeah. I didn't know. Well, I mean, actually, in all honesty. Is it even really pigskin anymore? I think back then it was just starting to transition. The leather. Because I graduated. Are you allowed to touch leather?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, like, like well that's also it like we when i first started growing up it was just like hey we keep kosher and then it was you know it evolved into hey we keep kosher in the house then you can have an egg muffin on the then it evolved into hey we keep kosher on fridays on the sabbath and then it evolved to, like, we could have shrimp sometimes, you know? So I used to, I learned more about the Jewish culture,

religion, everything, when I worked at this hotel. I worked at, I think it's a Lowe's now, but it was at the corner of Beverewill and Pico. And it was called Oh, the J part of town. I didn't know. I'm sorry to hear that. the corner of Beverwill and Pico. And it was called the Beverly Prescott at the time. You worked there?

I worked front desk and then I concierge. I do like light bartending, like beer and rail drink bartending. You know, they say the service industry, you learn how to deal with people. But doing the service industry in like the Jewish part of town is probably the worst experience. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. Dude. How terrible were they? Aggressive.

Aggressive as fuck. And I'm ignorant to even my own religion that I grew up with being Catholic. So I'm like, what are the curls and stuff? What's the hat? What's the this? And I would ask. What's up with all the threads? Why do you guys smell like that?

So what I didn't know, though, was your Sabbath was, was it sundown Friday to sundown Saturday? Mm-hmm. So then the Pico would come alive. Like, Nagila Pizza would be open at 9 o'clock at night. But late, you you know and all the people will be coming i was like oh so i learned that but what i didn't know about the electricity and stuff like oh yeah very um orthodox did you get recruited to be a shabbos goy i don't even know what that is but i fucked up i i think i may have i think I've ruined somebody's religion tell me more wherever you all go and you die that

guy's not getting so I didn't know about the electricity and our front doors were such that if you push them just gave them a nudge they would then electronically carry the rest of the way and I guess we were supposed to have them open on the sabbath but you know sundown friday to saturday well i didn't know that make them i had them shut and i didn't know and the guy came and pushed the door and when it was he was dude he was shitting himself and i was like i'm thinking like yeah buddy is that pretty cool you just touch him and they open up but he's shitting himself because he just used electricity he proceeds to come over and explain to me you can't have that you gotta tell us i was like yeah

man i didn't i what he's telling me everything i'm like i, I didn't know. I didn't know. Amazing. Then he finally calms down, and he was going for a minute. He calms down. He goes up to his room with his wife and the kids, and they can't use the electricity, so he can't see in the room. So he asks me if I can come up, and there's a light that was on. He said, can you please come turn it off? We're going to light candles. I was like, no problem.

Where the bathroom was in the room was back a little bit. I turn it off and I'm waiting. He's like, you can leave. I'm like, I can't see. Could you light the candle so I can get the fuck out of this room? He doesn't. They're like, no. I go to walk out.

I trip over their fucking... It's pitch black. I trip over their fucking, it's pitch black. I trip over their luggage. I fall. I'm in a suit and shit. You know, it's a Beverly Hills hotel. This is crazy. And I have to look for the, this is true.

I have to look for the light under the door and I walk over and I get out. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah. That was my introduction to Orthodox. Well, another thing you should know about Orthodox people is that there's a loophole for all of this bullshit, that inconvenience. What is that? So a Shabbos Goy is they recruit, they pay someone to do all this shit for them during the Sabbath that isn't Jewish. Well.

So they literally pay someone like you. He did come down and tip me after for the inconvenience. I bet he did. He did when he left i bet he did he did and then he was like here's 20 for this week and here's 20 for next week and here's 20 for the week after that yeah they they pay someone to just do like hey every friday you come here turn everything on for us like turn this turn our oven on to like the lowest setting because they can't turn it on but they can adjust adjust the flames. So they're like, just put on the pilot light and we'll take it from there.

Okay. It's all stupid. I mean, what kind of things did you have people like that in your life growing up? No, I didn't grow up Orthodox. So it got looser and looser is what you were saying. Right, right. Like we just kept kosher in the house at first. Gotcha.

And then, you know, by the time I graduated high school. But you used electricity on sabbath yeah dude we're not pieces of shit we're not like yeah fuck all this technology we'll get rid of it for 24 hours fuck that dude yeah i didn't know any of that and i learned it in that neighborhood over there they taught me a lot in that neighborhood over there yeah that neighborhood sucks i try and keep my distance from yeah that's, that's a very... Because I look really Jewish. So if you walk around there and you're Jewish, they're going to try and recruit you

for a prayer session. Because they can't start a prayer session until they have 10 male Jews. So if you see Orthodox people walking around these Jewish neighborhoods and they're like, are you Jewish? That's why they're asking. They're like, because we need a 10th

and you need to come with us. Terrible people. I learned all about the Museum of Tolerance there. Have you had to go there? Yeah, I think we went there in fourth grade to see all the shoes. I was going to say, you had to do a field trip there. Shoes. Look at all these wasted shoes.

All right, well, we have some good stories to get into here. So let's hear. You can go in order. Do your thing um all right so the first one uh the okay so this was the first time uh i was rejected in asking a girl out uh this was around ninth grade around porum which is jewish halloween uh i've seen home for forum yeah okay uh and my school my my school did a carnival a forum carnival and i was really into this girl at the time uh it was ninth grade and i hadn't asked anyone out before and where was your high school what high school is this uh it was milken the like by scurrball um and so i remember like remember like i was like i'd convinced myself like man i

really like this girl i'm gonna ask her out and i didn't even enter my mind did you have class with her or how'd you know she was like in my circle of friends and stuff i'm like man i think i'm really into this girl uh so porn carnival came around i was just like oh i know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna ask her to go out once. Like, we're going to get on the Ferris wheel together. I'm going to ask her when we're on the Ferris wheel, and it's going to be dope. Didn't even enter my mind that no is an option. Because this is my first time doing it.

I thought this is how it goes. And so we get on the Ferris wheel. And immediately I started getting stage fright. I'm like, oh, my God. Just start sweating and like it's not that hot it's not that hot we're in los angeles it's like maybe a cool 70 72 and i'm like hey so like uh do you have a boyfriend and stuff and she's like no i'm like oh uh and she's like but there is someone that i want to ask to ask me out and i'm like oh yeah

here's machi and i'm like all right here we fucking go and i was like well you know if you ever like wanted to go to a movie and stuff and then she cuts me she's like i don't know this guy named charlie and i'm like oh god and we're still at the bottom the ferris wheel like hasn't really started moving yet and then like as soon as she says no boom first movement like we're now loading one level up you still gotta go you gotta let everybody on and then take a few rides around oh dude that is brutal you have to sit in that 10 to 15 minutes of me just sitting in my shit not knowing what i I'm doing. I'm now sweating way more. I'm like, I'm in paralysis mode.

I can't move. I can't talk. I'm just like, I did not know it could go like this. And yeah, just totally fucked me up for a long time. Shattered my confidence. I believe it, man. That's fucking brutal. Yeah, it was traumatic.

You didn't get to get a no and walk away. You just got to sit next to the girl that was like, no, no, no, not you, though. Yeah, and my only takeaway from that was just like, you know, got to ask them at the end of the Ferris wheel ride. Yes, after they've had a good time. Yeah, like maybe asking a marriage proposal works well at the beginning of a Fer first wheel ride because at least you know they like you no it's not you but can i still cheat off you but yeah that terrified me didn't ask another girl out until like college for real yeah that fucking tear years yeah traumatized me it was like the first time i asked someone out like oh my god this uh went terribly

wrong um you know and uh ever since then i've just like lacked confidence in that department but it's been getting better it's been getting better are you dating now uh i'm dating around you know go out here and there like uh nothing steady right now okay um but yeah that's uh that's that's the ferris wheel story that's uh the first time i ever asked someone out and just sit there while some meth addicts cranking fucking letting people on oh yeah that reminds me so the girl that i asked out i was just like man she's the one that got away a couple years later uh she started hooking up with some senior they filmed themselves doing something she got sent to utah for a year or two and uh then she came back and became my weed dealer

i forgot that's how that's a pair of itself isn't it yeah it's like you should have said yes could have been way different for you, girl. Saw that video, by the way, girl. Hilarious. No, she's not. She's great. Isn't it? Every time, it's funny. I think about, as a parent now, carnivals.

Like, I went to, it was always a carnival right by us that we always would go to. It was always the best thing. And I never understood why the guys operating always had really nice teeth i'm like god you look like shit but your teeth and it didn't dawn on me till years later like oh you're all we're all meth running the fucking zipper and shit while we're just going in the space yeah i had um i as i got older i wouldn't do it but i had a friend of mine. Her name's Christy, and she and her roommate at the time lived up the street from me. I knew them from Maryland, but they had moved out here, and they were going to the carnival.

And they're like, are you going to get on the rides? I was like, I'm not getting on those fucking rides. And they're like, why? And I go, look, these people, if something happens, they're gone. They're going to disappear into the night. They're out of there. You're never going to see them. Everyone's going to tell you they don't know who the fuck they are. You don't know if they

have insurance. You don't know anything. If you get a hurtle on that ride, you're fucked. No, that's not going to happen. I was like, look, I'll go walk around with you, but I'm not getting on the rides. They're like, okay. This is a true story. The three of us walk over to this carnival. It's in the valley

in Sherman Oaks at the time. That big park in Hazeltine. It's a huge park. They've over to this carnival. It's in the valley in Sherman Oaks at the time. That big park in Hazeltine. It's a huge park. And they've got a monster carnival. It looks great. You know, the octopus and the Ferris wheel and the zipper and all this shit. The swings. So they go to get on.

I remember this very vividly. They buy their tickets, and as they're walking up to the zipper, there's this fire truck and this ambulance are just hauling ass by. And I jokingly, I go, oh, they're here. That's for here. And then they go by, and then they turn around, and they come back because they missed it. And as they're walking, I see this person laying on the ground next to the swings

and the zipper is what they're getting on and it's right next to the swings. And Christy had a ponytail. I only remember it because I'm looking at this person laying on the ground who's not moving and they don't see it. And I snag her ponytail. Ow! She goes, what? I go, that.

She's like, oh, my God. And it is right next to them getting on the fucking zipper. But the dude on the zipper. The zipper is just like, no, he started on the zipper and he got flung. He got flung in front of this one. The swings are right next to the zipper. And the dude running the zipper doesn't give a fuck. He's just like, two tickets.

There's a body laying right here. He's like, two tickets. You know, there's a body laying right here. He's like, two tickets. You guys are so going to get on. They get on. They're doing the zipper. And here comes the fucking ambulance and the fire truck. And this person flew off the swing, fell off something. Or someone hit something with the swings happened.

This person is laying there. They give him that, you know, the big neck brace. The one that comes up here and shit. Yeah, that they put on dogs. Yeah. So I'm a board and get this person there's a lady i think it was get her out of there and i'm like what the fuck i go i fucking told you i go that lady's probably paralyzed she'll probably never get a penny and the next day i go we'll drive by here tomorrow the next day guess what was gone the swings were Oh, but the rest of the carnival was still there. That's insane.

The swings were gone. Just got to get rid of the evidence, buddy. We'll see you in Tucson, Gary. You can't find a loose lug nut if there's no equipment there, bud. Man, that shit was shady as fuck. So now, like, I used to love carnivals, but I don't know if I'd let my kid get on a fucking ride. Oh, absolutely not, man. Do not trust your kid's life with carnies

with a drifter they are drifters they are it's a group of drifters it is 100% oh shit all right let's go on to uh i want to hear about this one here lucky pants but i'll just clarify lucky brand jeans or a lucky pair of pants? Lucky pair of pants. And I'll tell you what makes them lucky. All right. So I told you that my mom worked in marble countertops and tile stuff. Yeah, it went all blue collar on.

Yeah. So for two summers during high school, I, like, worked for her. Like, she worked for my neighbor who was Israeli. It was an Israeli company. And I worked for them over the summer. And so I remember we had to do like a quality control because someone got a pallet of tiles and they were like, hey, this shit's all fucked up. Well, why are you guys sending us this? And someone else's son that was working there over the summer to like go over to their location. Go manually look through the pallets, multiple pallets of tiles.

And anyone's that look shitty, take them out. And then we know like they have good tiles and they have bad tiles and we'll replace the bad tiles. So I was like, OK. So it was literally going from like a bad pallet. And then you turn around and you put in the good palette. Now these palettes I think were put together by these factory people because there's just loose nails hanging out everywhere

like it's just dangerous and I'm in like 11th grade 10th grade. So I'm moving over from the bad palette to the good palette and on one of my turns I turn this way and then like I turn right into an exposed nail that was on the good palate. And it goes right through my crotch.

Damn. I'm like, oh. Like, I felt a little poke. And I was like, that's not good. And, like, I'm like, I'll be right back. And, like, I go to the bathroom to check my balls to see if it's bleeding. And it's not. Like, everything's fine.

Just grazed it. And I was just like. That ball bag skin's tough. these pants are now lucky pants because now that's how it because it had it had a pinhole in my crotch i'm like that's how i know that's the lucky became lucky the lucky pair of pants yeah the the day that they kept my balls from rupturing uh was the day that they became lucky. So lucky pants. So I now wear these pants whenever I take a test. Because I'm like, got to feel lucky when I'm taking these tests. So fast forward a couple years.

I'm now in college. I think I'm a sophomore. I'm a second year. Yeah. I'm a second year in college. And there was a test. There was a final that I had coming up. And one of my friends, she was in the class too.

And she suggested, she was like, hey, how about you come like to the dorms? She was a freshman. Why don't you come over to the dorms and like we'll cram real quick, like right before we go in. So like the shit's just like fresh in our head. We'll go over to the study ground. I'm like, that sounds like a good plan. So take my bicycle right over to her dorm we start cramming and then it's like uh all right let's go it's time to go to

the final you know like it starts in about 30 minutes we should like or 20 minutes just something like that let's start heading over there so i take my bike and i was just like you know i'm just i'm just gonna slowly ride instead of walking it next to you it's gonna be more fun for me if i just slowly ride it next to her so as i swing my leg over the seat pants start ripping my lucky pants are now at the lucky hole it rips from the lucky hole and i'm just like well it's too late to go back to my apartment. And I mean you're talking about like flaps open down the thighs. So at first, it's just like maybe you could stick one of these in.

Like just like at the first couple knuckles. And I'm like, all right, this is – I mean this is fine. This is manageable. I could work with this during the final. And at that point, I should have decided to just walk the bike the rest of the way. But I'm an idiot. So I just slowly pedal. And with every pedal, I just hear tears and shit.

And I just hear the hole getting bigger. I start feeling gusts of wind and stuff. And I'm like, this is not good. And so we get to the class i like you know we get to the class and i take my leg off and as i swing my leg off rips even more and i'm like this is getting really bad you can now fist the hole in my crotch you can fist it you can put a whole entire fist in it and so now i'm just like getting embarrassed i'm like this is now like like and i wear loose boxers it's just like my dick it could just be exposed you know it's like just you know cloth like bunches to one side and it's like boom balls

are on this side so i'm just speeding through this final like i don't think i've ever filled out are you sitting with your legs crossed like what are you doing uh no not cross i think i was way too big to cross my legs in those tiny seats back tight like this yeah just like just squeezing my nuts together like this so uncomfortable to take an exam i am plowing through this test uh finished before everyone it's a class of like 200 people first one done like i think i did it in 30 minutes handed it in and like the the teachers assistant i remember looking at me and they're like are you sure like do you want to look over this one more time before like you have you have like 45 minutes left i'm like no no we're good and so hand it in and i'm like i need to rush home this is i feel i feel disgusting um and so i'm just like fuck it i'm just gonna

full speed ahead uh go back home on my bike and so i swing my leg over again on the bike tears more i'm just like fuck it i'm just going full i mean what's left at this point it just keeps getting bigger like at first it's just like just the fist then it's two fists then it's three fists like it the whole just gets bigger and so i get on the bike i start speeding along and i feel like a crazy breeze and i see people that i know on campus look at me like hey the and then their eyes jerked down hey the eyes jerked down and the eyes like dart down and I look down and my cock and balls are just like they're just swinging and hitting my legs and I'm looking down I'm like no wonder it feels so breezy so damn good got that

and i'm like this is this is terrible and so i start like taking turns i'm taking back roads and i cut across this parking lot and i'm just in a foul mood and i see a seagull in the parking lot like next to this suv i'm like what the fuck is a seagull doing here the fucking beach is like 20 like 10 miles away what's going on here so like i'm just gonna scare the seagull to get it like to fly again till i go back to to the beach like i said i was an idiot i was a real idiot so i i on my bike with this huge like five fist hole at this point in my jeans i like turn around this suv and just start kicking and i see that there's a photography student crouched down trying to get a picture of this seagull and so i hear clicks as i'm doing like i'm not registering all this and so he there's probably a picture of me on a bike with my dick and balls hanging out using a trying to like kick a fucking seagull

and i see him like oh my god i'm so sorry and then i just like keep on going and then i didn't even take the pant i think i tore the pants off i'm like this there's no such thing as lucky pants anymore this was the lucky pair i've never had my dick and balls hang out. I did have a. It feels good. There is nothing. This is the truth. I go hike a lot. And when I can, I go off and take a leak. There's nothing like the feel of wind on your dick.

It's so refreshing. It is refreshing. It was the silver lining of this whole experience. It really is. There's nothing like a nice breeze on your dick. There's just not. It really does. There's not.

It's the best part about peeing outside. Listen, do it in appropriate places. not. It really does. There's not. It's the best part about peeing outside. Listen, do it in appropriate places. Yeah. Hide somewhere outside. Yeah. Find a good piss spot. Nothing like the good wind whistling across your dick

in your ball bag, man. I'm telling you, it feels amazing. You're right, dude. This is nice. Yeah, it feels great. I'll shake it a couple extra times out here.

Yeah. That's how I destroyed my lucky pants. I'm sorry. Me too, man. When I was also in college, I interned at a radio station in Baltimore. It was 100. It was GRX, then it became 100X.

Okay. Classic rock or whatever. And those old DJs, Potter will tell you, the guys that smoke and all them. I still see them when I go do morning radio and shit. And I'm outside talking to one dude who was pretty cool, but he was just super dry. Just everything was very matter-of-fact. Not much personality. And we're talking, and I never wore underwear back then.

And I've got a pair of jeans on or whatever. Never wore underwear? Like, from a... Just in day-to-day, I just wore pants. Like, when I played sports, I wore underwear, but I didn't wear underwear. Wild. Started again after this, though.

And we're talking for a while he's smoking a cigarette i'm outside we're outside the studio we're talking yeah you know shooting shit whatever then finally he gets up and he's about to go in he goes by the way your balls are hanging out of your pants i go what i look down i have a hole in my crotch and my ball bag is just like squeezing out. I was like, oh, my God. The whole fucking time we're talking, people are walking by saying hello and shit. They're looking. I was like, oh, my God. I was like, you're a dick for not saying anything, dude. But I love you for that.

I just realized that happened to me, too. I had. We use it like that little. Well, because I remember like I would have, you know, I was always fat. So like by being fat, you have pants where the crotch just starts wearing out. Right. And so you have you see like a little tiny like the fabrics kind of coming out. You're like, but whatever.

Like spot. Yeah. The week. You're like, whatever. That's going to be fine. And then the day that I realized it's not OK. As soon as you see the weak spot, you need to get rid of the pants i remember uh this girl i was studying with this was like in middle school she was over like we were studying for some test or

doing some project maybe a video project for a class and uh she just looks at me and she's just like your balls are hanging out i'm like no fucking way and look down's just like, your balls are hanging out. I'm like, no fucking way. I look down and just like, both balls are just out of my pants. From the week spot. How long did I make you remember? From the week they're just dipping out. Totally forgot it. I forgot that happened until you just brought that up.

So, yeah, I've been exposing myself from a young age. Oh, my God. All right, you got another one up here. You're tearing a lot of shit, apparently. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just a mess, dude. Okay.

All right. So, here's the story on how I tore my ACL. So, in college. So, I had just finished college. ACL so uh in college so I just finished college um and I had moved back home for a month and then started working uh at a company called Weedmaps that also I'm I'm used me Weedmaps um so that was my first job out of college and so as soon as I graduate like I was working like freelance for them and then college ended, moved back home. And then they're, and then they're like, Hey, do you want to go full time? Like a month after I moved home, I was just like, okay. So moved back to orange County.

Uh, and at that point, all my friends had already graduated. Uh, and I was in the Jewish fraternity at UC Irvine. So that was like pretty much like my connection to being social now. It's just like the kids that were younger than me, I could still being social now it's just like the kids that were younger than me i could still kind of hang out with like i i knew them from college so it's just like this i could still like hang out with these people you know and so uh like the first day that i moved back to orange county uh one of my friends there was just like hey we're doing this rush event over at this uh sky high. It's like an indoor trampoline arena. I take the kids.

And so they're like, yeah, do you want to come? I'm like, that sounds really stupid. Like, I don't want to do the fraternity thing and, like, rush these 18-year-olds. But I do want to jump on the trampoline. So I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's fucking go. So my friend picks me up. We go to this trampoline place. So I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's fucking go. So my friend picks me up. We go to this trampoline place.

And as we're walking in, I see this kid limping out, being held up by his friends. And my friend juggling looks at me. He's like, that's going to be you. I'm like, oh, Greg. And so we go in and the people are like, oh, are you here for the fraternity thing? Like we're like this place is shutting down in like 10 minutes. So you could really only jump for five minutes. I'm like, oh, are you here for the fraternity thing? Like, this place is shutting down in, like, ten minutes, so you could really only jump for five minutes. I'm like, oh, we'll get it in.

We'll get some good jumps in. So we go in, and, like, there's a flat trampoline, like the level one, and then there's angled ones, like the side one. And so I'm an idiot, stoned out of my mind. I'm being like, I'm an Olympic gymnast pretty much. I could probably pull some crazy shit. And so I wanted to jump from the flat to the side, 360 back onto the flat. Okay. Eat shit five times in a row.

I'm like, this should not be this difficult. I'm like, you know what? Fuck this. I'm going to stick this landing. Jump from flat to side to flat. I'm like, I did it. But, it but like as i land felt my knee explode just like all these different pops and i'm like oh that's weird and then i put weight and then i put weight on it and i collapse i'm like oh shit something bad just happened i see all these people

running towards me and because i'm on a trampoline as soon as they start running on the trampoline I'm getting bounced up and I'm like oh my leg oh my leg and so apparently like one of the people in the fraternity was pre-med which was the closest thing to a doctor that we had at the place he's just like let me see this can you go like this

can you go like that and I'm like yeah this all hurts he's like you're gonna need to go to the hospital do you know who's gonna take you I'm like yeah the fucking friend who told me that i was gonna injure myself that's right greg yeah fucking greg yeah so greg takes me to the emergency room and turns out it's a real glint like people are not having a good time in the emergency room except for us i'm they put me in a wheelchair i have my thing like up i'm like oh dude this is wild man this is crazy what do you think happened

to my knee like i just don't care and in the meantime there's all these people that are like guy's got an arrow in his head actively dying from alcohol poisoning you know in the emergency room everyone's just looking at us like what the fuck are these jews so fucking happy about uh we can't say anything balls are hanging out for christ's balls knees everything's hanging out and so uh i go in they ice it and they're like, look, something really serious happened here. You need to go to, like, an orthopedic or – They wouldn't even see you there? Well, they were like, look, we're going to ice it.

They're just like, we're going to prep you and get you out of here. Well, they're like – Specialists. They're like, we could either take an MRI or, like, take an x-ray or take whatever. I think they took an x-ray. And they're just like, bone's not broken. And they're like, what about the other stuff? They're like, well, that's going to be, be like a $5,000 or whatever the fuck.

And the Jewish guy in me that just moved to Orange County, just started a new job. I'm like, I'm good on that. So go home with an ice pack on my knee, and that was it. You never bothered to go see anyone? I started work literally the next day, Ryan, was my first day at work. Like, I watched. So one of the girls that babysits my daughter, I work like I watch so my one of the one of the girls uh that babysits my daughter I got like a team on what's up Alessandra she did the same

thing she was roller skating did the same shit I picked her up from the ER one night just to bring her home had to help her carry her up the fucking stairs and then she didn't go to the doctor she just stayed same thing and it ended up when she finally did the guy's like well you really fucked up like i get why you didn't but what you did was make all your other muscles fuck like i'm telling you her ass cheek disappeared she had one ass cheek and the other the she couldn't like bring her to nothing but she could still hobble around on it so that's why i watch a lot of football and i see like guys that go down they get up and people like well they're walking off the field i'm like you can walk on a torn ac oh yeah yeah you could walk on it for a full year

like i did a year bro a full year well like here's what here's what are you limping or yeah dude my knee is locking up once a day to the point where I have to, like, roll on the floor until I hit that sweet spot and it, like, unlocks. Oh, and you melt Gibson in Lethal Weapon, bro. People would be looking at me. They're like, what are you doing? And then, like, one of my friends who worked with me, like, is like, no, no, no, this is the thing. His knee is locked up, so he just needs to, like, wiggle around until it comes back. And I was doing that for a full fucking year.

And then, like. But you're limping all day long when you walk you know you have every single day of my life no normal walk no and your parents every step every step every step hurts yeah and then also in my neighborhood there was a trampoline every step hurt and in my neighborhood there were trampolines i'm telling you ryan i got pt i have ptsd whenever i see a kid jump on a trampoline like oh watch out that's how you blow your knee don't do that that's how you fuck up your knee like literally that's that's just like i see people even just seeing jumps it like throws me back like oh my god that was the worst pain in my life um so what happens when

you finally do see it so i quit like i was and what is it by the way uh my left one okay so my last dominant i was gonna say the one you don't have to drive with the one you have an automatic jerk off with yeah so i uh so i quit weed maps because i was like i don't want to do like this weed job for my entire life so i decided to move back to la and once i moved back i was just like i should probably get this knee thing checked out, huh? And so I go there, and they're like, we think it's your meniscus. So let's do surgery, scoop out your meniscus, and then see how you feel after that. That's all they thought.

See, I actually had in 14, ninth grade, I had arthroscopic because I tore a little bit of my meniscus. Yeah, I got like three little cuts on my knee. Yeah, three little cuts and it's in and out. But it was no fucking major surgery. Right. So they scooped out the meniscus and then afterwards they were like, walk around on it. How does it feel? I'm like, a little unstable.

But they didn't see it when you were in there well because they're like we see a bunch of shit that's wrong here but we think we could get away with just scraping out your meniscus because an acl reconstructive thing like is takes much longer to heal from i i think is how i remember it so they scooped out the meniscus they had me walk around on and they're like how's that feel i'm like unstable and they're like that's the word that means your ACL is still fucked up. And so recovered. You could feel it like it just felt weak, like it could give out at any moment?

Yeah, just any time I stepped on it. Because what your ACL does is it keeps your knee from bending the wrong way. So when I stepped on it, I was just like, it doesn't feel like there's anything keeping it from bending the wrong way. And they're like, yeah, that's the ACL. So then it was six months to recover from the meniscus thing thing and then they're like cool now get your acl done took another six months to recover from that so i'm like just moved home pretty much not working and got two knee surgeries living with my parents and how long were you out of commission for that pretty like first it was the meniscus, and then it was the ACL.

I was out for a year. So you would have been back if you'd have just gone and done it originally. Damn. So you put yourself in that for two years, really. Story of my life. Yeah, I make things worse. Has it held up since? Have you ever had problems with it? It's good now.

You know, I did, like, physical therapy. Because, like you said, like, you get so, if you're limping for a full year your muscle structure starts changing yes so like i had like an open gate like i had to like correct myself on how to walk so that like i don't fuck up my skeletal structure i um dude i after i still i had the surgeon i still have problems with it. Like I can't sit. Um, yeah. Sometimes you're walking on it. Like you take a weird step.

You're like, Oh, it's coming back. Mine does what yours did. Mine will still pop out of socket and I have to lay on the floor and I have to slowly straighten it till it goes. And you can hear it. You can see it jolt and shit.

It fucking hurts. It still happens. It's like, I'm no doctor. That sounds like a meniscus problem to me. It probably is, but that's your motherfucker staying, you know? Yeah. I mean, it's just like, I jog on it. I hike no doctor. That sounds like a meniscus problem to me. It probably is, but that's your motherfucker staying. Yeah, I mean, it's just like I jog on it.

I hike on it. It's like doing surgery on a 15-year-old dog. It's just like, what are we doing? When I'm in my 60s, I'll get it all replaced. Do the hip, do the knee. We'll get it all done at once. I'll wait for one more thing to go wrong before I fix this thing. Let's take a quick break and tell you about our sponsor, Omax CryoFreeze.

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This discount also applies toward any product site-wise. So just go to omaxhealth.com today and enter code HONEYDOO. That is omaxhealth.com and enter code HONEYDOO to get 20% off Omax Cryo Freeze and site-wide. Now let's get back to the do. All right, so you were at college at Irvine. And what kind of student were you? Were you doing well? A studio art major.

Who didn't graduate in four years. That's how much fun I was having at Irvine. So did you quit or did you drop out or what? So I did four years at UC Irvine. Without a bachelor's. Right. Because at the end of the four years, they're like, look, we'll let you walk, but you're missing. But you shouldn't.

I'll be the judge. I don't know how much walking I could do. They're like, we'll let you walk, but you shouldn't have failed those two science classes like your sophomore year because those are now the credits that you're missing. Like it was either two science or two math. I failed cosmology twice, which is the study of the stars. And that counted for math for some reason also because it's like physics or some shit. And so I was missing two math units or two math credits. counted for math for some reason also because it's like physics or some shit and so uh i was

missing two math units or two math credits so at the end of four years they're like yeah we'll let you walk but just so you know like you have to come back next year and finish up these two i'm like hey i'm not walking graduations are a waste of time second of all i'm not coming back i'm not giving you thousands of dollars to take two classes i could finish i could wrap up this breathwork online at community college oh okay um so i went to la community college or la i don't know you could do that you could go you could start because i obviously i went the other way i went community to a four-year you went four-year to a community you and you can do that well yeah because if it if it's a normal breadth requirement or if it's like a general like yeah just a general

thing like you like a lot of class a lot of schools offer classes that a lot of other universities will count because like you transferred from a college yeah but i got my a first and then i took all those it was something at least back then too we're talking about the 1900s if if you didn't have i think you had to have the aa you had to get all the credits and then transfer if you didn't have, I think you had to have the AA. You had to get all the credits and then transfer. If you didn't, that's when a school will go, okay, well, we'll take these 20, but not these. But if you had done it with a degree, I think they took everything into consideration. At least a lot of schools did.

Yeah. But other ones were like, eh, we're not taking that fucking, you took cosmetology. We're not taking that shit. And you failed it twice, bro. Twice. You didn't remember those makeups bro um so i talked to my academic advisor and i was like what classes can i take that would count for this at valley college and she's like uh you could take this one that says intro to computers in

today's society i'm like that counts for math and she's like yep i'm like okay sign counts for math? And she's like, yep. I'm like, okay, sign me up. So I signed up for it. And, like, assignment number one, Ryan, was not write an essay about this thing. It was copy the essay out of this book into Microsoft Word. Come on. So that we know that you're not completely stupid. And it's, like, press tab to indent, like, 1.5 spacing. Like, it's literally teaching you Microsoft Word. I'm like, oh, this is a fucking cakewalk.

And so from that point on, I'm like, oh, I don't need to study. I don't need to do work. I don't need to do shit. I just need to show up for the midterm and the final. So I show up for the midterm. And the first question is like, what connects the information bus to the GPU? This wasn't covered in the first homework exam. I'm like, I think I'm in trouble, dude.

And so it's all an electronic test. It's all an electronic test. And it tells you your grade right when you submit it. Like, it tells you what you got on the midterm right when you enter. So you know. Yeah. So I – oh, yeah. and here's the other thing it's on the fire the midterm was our class was separated into two computer classes but there's only a teacher for both of those classes so the teacher's just going from one class to another

and you're taking the test on a computer which has access to the internet so i'm just seeing everyone's the second the teacher leaves everyone pops open google and they're just like uh-huh uh-huh popping in the questions even with cheating ryan i got a c minus 71 i got a 71 while cheating i'm copying and pasting these questions into google you passed though right right so i passed and so i come home and uh my dad's just like how'd you do like how was the test i'm like not gonna lie dad i'm a little worried if i'm gonna pass this class or not and without even missing a breath he's just like i'll pay you 250 bucks you fail i'm like i'll bet you or i'll

pay you what'd he say said i will bet you i will put 250 dollars on that you failed this class meaning if i fail this class you owe him 250 i own 250 and you're right there is a better way to say that which is if you pass this class i'll give you 250 but that's not how my dad's incentives work my dad doesn't incentivize like that. He's just like, yeah, you're going to part with some money. That's what will do you. And so I'm just like, okay, whatever. I know I have access to Google during these tests.

I'm fine with it. So I take the bet and I start really studying. I start opening up this book. I'm just like, oh, the information bus is going to the graphics processor and all this shit. Like I'm teaching myself how computers work. And I go into the final. And Ryan, it is still very difficult for me. I'm still Googling and cheating.

And it is so difficult. None of these words even make sense to me. Like I don't get it. But are you going to class this entire time are you not showing up maybe like once a week and but how many times you're supposed to be there three times um so yeah like i'm not doing i'm not doing the work this is the only class that's keeping you from this bachelor degree yeah but like a degree in studio art i hear you i can't do shit with it still to wrap this thing up yeah this is the class it would have made my parents and my grandparents

really happy but their happiness isn't important to me so fuck that so my dad makes a bet with me i'm studying for this test i go into the final still difficult press submit um and i think i got like a b some sort of b on this final um and like because everything's electronic and grades are already in it gives you your grade on the final and then it gives you the grade overall of the class and so the grade that i got was a 69.5 come on which but wait a- and a B, were there other assignments that you just weren't turning in? Probably. I mean, I wasn't going to class. A 70 and an 80, you should pass, you know.

Yeah. I think, you know what, that does make sense. I think a lot of missing assignments. Attendance may have helped. I didn't even know what I was missing, you know. There were pop quizzes that were coming out. I wasn't taking them. A 69.5.

And so the first thought in my mind is just like, I don't have 250 bucks. When am I going to pay my dad? But what's failing, by the way, in that class? Was it 70 was the minimum? Well, I think a D plus was still technically a passing grade. But I don't know. I think at my high school, it wasn't. So I think in my head, it was burned in that a D plus is a fail.

D's are not satisfactory. Parents are not proud of D's. They're not proud of C's either. And so I get scared and I'm like, I don't have this money to lose. So I immediately I go up to my teacher. I'm like, look, this says that I'll give you

$250. If you make that a seven. How much do Community Valley College professors actually make? Because this Abraham Lincoln could really get you a couple Big Macs. So I go up to him like, look, this is a 69.5. Can we just bump this up to a 70? He's just like, yeah. I was going to do that without you asking me.

I'm like, oh, great great huge relief off my shoulders and i go uh i go to the i go to my car in the parking lot and i'm just like i'm going through this roller coaster of emotions i'm like oh my god i thought i failed my class but then i didn't and now like i don't even think that my dad owes me money i just know that i don't owe my dad money because that's how he incest out yes uh and so like i like uh i call my dad i'm like oh my god you wouldn't believe what just happened and he's like what i'm like i did the test it was difficult i gotta be on it and then like my overall grade was a 69.5 when my teacher like said that he was gonna bump me up to a 70 isn't that great and like there's a moment and he's just like so you owe me 250 bucks i'm like what just like yeah

remember we had a bet i'm like and then it all starts coming back to me like why did i call my dad why did i want to share this good news with my dad like this is just gonna bite me in the ass and so now we start going back on back and forth who owes who money uh my dad is telling me you i owe him 250 bucks and i'm arguing no i passed the class so you owe me 250 bucks his argument is that like look you're just your grade isn't based on how good of a talker you are your grade is but is based on the work that you do and the work that you did got you a failing grade so you owe me 250 bucks this is now an argument that's going across the six members of my family on who owes who money.

People are taking sides. Well, I'm going to take your side because the argument was you're going to fail the class. Right. He didn't fucking factor in curves or teacher. Yeah, he didn't do fine print shit. He didn't fucking factor in. That's his bad. So we're going back and forth.

I want $250. It's a Sabbath dinner. It's a want 250. It's a Sabbath dinner. It's a Friday. It's a Friday evening. And I tell my dad, I'm like, look, I don't know what you want. Like, I have a passing grade. And then he goes, why don't you give me your teacher's email address? I'm like, what?

He's like, I want to talk to him. And I ask him what? He's like, I just want to ask him some questions and i'm thinking like oh okay so now he kind of broke the stalemate because there's no way i'm giving him my teacher's email address to do what to convince him to fail me and so like this is completely stupid like i'm not doing that uh and so i'm just like you're not getting it and so there's just like whatever we're not getting it. And so there's just like, whatever. We're going to be fine with like, I'm not paying him. He's going to keep on like hanging this over my head. And then I had a thought, Ryan.

And that's that my dad doesn't know what my teacher's email is, which means I could just make one. Anything. So I created an email account with my teacher's name, whatever, whatever at Yahoo.com. And I fake an exchange back and forth between my real. He really did. He really emailed. And I fake an exchange back and forth between my real address. And he really did. He really emailed your teacher.

I forward the exchange between me and the fake email address to my dad being like, hey, this is me explaining to my teacher that I had a bet with you and that we want him to weigh in. And I just forwarded it to him. And I know it's not going to my teacher. It's just going to me. And I'm like, I just won the stalemate because there's no way he's going to reply back to my teacher. The next morning, I see a response in the fake going to reply back to my teacher the next morning i see a response in the fake email account i made for my teacher and my dad wrote a fucking essay come on on how he's failing as a professor because he's teaching his students that they don't need to put in the

hard work as long as they could sweet talk someone just because he was but that he wrote he wrote an essay in that teacher's defense he had no idea you had to bet until you walked up anyway. Dude, it's. It's insane. He's actively trying to convince my teacher. My son's doing a shitty job. You're doing a shitty job. My teacher had an Italian name.

And my dad writes in the email. He goes, it's a mamma mia in your world. In our world. And I'm like, he's going to write this. He's comparing a mamma mia to an oy vey. And Ryan, this is an essay full of arguments I've never heard him make before. So he's bringing new shit to the table to try and convince my teacher to fail me. I can't believe what's happening and so

a week passes we have another sabbath dinner you don't respond i don't know you just let it go i think i think i don't know if a full week passes i think it was a couple days like i think i probably did this shit on a wednesday and then like thursday i woke up to that email and i tell everyone like actually no i don't think i told anyone yet. Because if I told them that he replied, then they'd know that I had the access. So we have another Friday night Sabbath dinner. And, like, I tell everyone, like, yeah, apparently, like, you know, I gave my dad the email. Like, I don't know if he responded to anything yet. And my dad's like, oh, yeah, I responded.

I'm like, okay. He leaves to go take a shit or something to the bathroom. And, like, then my family, like, my two sisters, my brother, my mom, they're all looking at me. responded i'm like okay he leaves to go take a shit or something to the bathroom and like then my family like my two sisters my brother my mom they're all looking at me they're like i can't believe you gave dad your teacher's email address and then i'm like can you guys keep a secret and they're like yeah i'm like that's not my teacher's email address that's mine they're like what natav you would lie like that to your family? I'm like, yes. Yeah, I would, and I'll do it every day.

And they're like, that's really fucked up. I'm like, cool, could you not tell him until he pays me, though? And they're like, yeah, of course. We want half of that money. Yeah, they're like, this is already paying off. This is already more than $250 worth of entertainment. And so after they got filled in, I just responded back from the email account being like, look, Mr. Like I wrote in my teacher's voice, Mr.

Itzkowitz, I don't know what you're trying to convince me to do, but I'm telling you your son passed my class. Outside of that, you guys could argue about whatever you want, but your son passed my class. And then once I send that email, I come home to my room like later in the day and there's just $250 like on my keyboard. All right. Good on dad. Fuck yeah, dude.

The second I see that, I'm like, cool. Time to reply back. Like send another email from my teacher's email account in Hebrew being like, fuck you, old man. I got one over on you. Sent that. Immediately get a phone call from my dad. He's like, you you, old man. I got one over on you. Sent that. Immediately get a phone call from my dad. He's like, you owe me 500 bucks. Now it's 500.

Because I owe him 250. He paid me and then 250 of the original bet. He is not letting up. He's a real piece of shit. He's an Israeli jeweler, bro. Yeah, he's an Israeli jeweler. Expect this shit from Israel. He's got real piece of shit. He's an Israeli jeweler, bro. Yeah, he's an Israeli jeweler. Expect this shit from Israel. He's got that eye.

Expect this shit. Has he ever let it go? No. Still? No, no, no. It's like if there's ever a thing that comes up about school or college or whatever, he's just like, you know, you still owe me 500 bucks. Like, fucking good luck getting it from you, man.

Possession's nine-tenths of the law. God damn. He is brutal. Yeah. Real Israeli guy. You want to talk about the health problems you had? Yeah. All right.

I just want everybody to know that this says, worst three moments of my life in five minutes. That's what I'm looking at. Yeah. Dude. This was a real rough patch so in addition so while i was in orange county working at weed maps in addition to me limping every day i was getting sick pretty often and like i'm someone that usually gets sick sometimes once a year sometimes

i don't get sick in a year like i have I have a pretty strong immune system. Or at least I thought I did. So I started getting sick, like, every couple months. Like, every, like, three or four months I got something. And, like, it wasn't even, like, like it would just be body aches that lasted for 24 hours. And then I'd be back to normal. So it happened, like, every four months. Then it happened every three months. Happened every two months.

Happened every month. And by the time I moved back home and was done with like this with all the knee surgeries and stuff, I was getting sick every month. And then it happened twice in one month. And I'm like, okay, something's wrong. And so I go to some

doctor, a really terrible doctor who's just like, this is just allergies. Don't worry about it. I'm like, I'm not allergic to anything. And he's just like this is just allergies don't worry about it i'm like i'm not allergic to anything he's just like okay sends me off all right that was kind of weird start getting sick every week now having fevers body aches like i'm having violent chills where my body is physically convulsing from having chills and it gets to a point where like i'm now sick every day uh my damn and my fever goes up to what we record at uh 106 holy shit yeah and so as soon as we see that my mom's like okay we're going to the emergency yeah fuck yeah so we go to the emergency room room and uh there's an infectious disease uh specialist there uh uh arthritic rheumatoid

specialist like just all these different specialists that are like what the fuck is wrong with you and it turns out my dad has these issues too my dad had diverticulitis which is explain what diverticulitis so what it is is that it's uh you start getting these pockets in your intestinal tract food starts filling that up it starts rotting and then when a little piece like starts at least this is how i understand it i could be completely wrong but this is how i understood it pocket starts filling up with food food starts rotting and then either a piece of the rotting food will then get into the system and then your body thinks it's an infection and starts fighting it which is why i got sick so often or even worse that pocket ruptures and then you start getting septic okay you start going into

septic shock so i think what was happening was it was the pocket was beginning to tear because i was getting sick so often that that's what was happening so i was in the hospital for like a full week before they even realized that that's what was happening um and so they're like this is not good like you're 25 years old this usually happens to 60 year olds and above uh like because everyone usually gets diverticuli like these pockets but it's normally not anything bad enough to operate on i'm a 25 year old with this but i mean in my defense in my defense um it was uh i was on a steady diet of just like french fries the year before and i think that's a big part of it just a lack of fiber. I thought salad was dumb. Vegetables are for losers.

It's just like steak and potatoes. That's what I'm all about. And so I think that's probably a big part of it. And so I was in the hospital for a week. About a weekend, they figured out like, oh, you have diverticulitis, one of the pockets, like you're starting to get septic. That's probably what this is.

And so at that point, it's just like just like okay so here's the game plan you need you now need to get better you need to we need to wait for your inflammation to go down and then once it's down we're going to remove 10 centimeters of your colon damn yeah um and so i was like uh okay and i just recovered from my knee surgeries so like this is gonna take a while isn't it so i'm just out of commission for a long time as soon as i move back to los angeles so uh you know i have to do like all these exams like all this all these checkups and shit because like i was in the hospital for like 10 days jesus um and so they're like hey we're gonna we're gonna set you up for the ct exam uh to see if your inflammation has gone down enough and so like they send me the paperwork and the email to sign off and i see it says ct rectal exam i just like that's that's weird like i didn't know rectum had more than one definition is the first thing that

came into my mind right because they didn't tell me explicitly they're shoving something up my ass yeah i'm just like they would fucking tell me that before just sending me paperwork so i don't even think twice about it uh i go i go to the imaging place like near cedar sinai and uh i i walk in uh and i say hi to the tech uh my mom my mom takes me so i say hi to the tech and the tech just looks at me he's like holy shit i'm like what he's like i've never done this exam on anyone as young as you like wow i don't want to hear that got me a nice tight butthole here yeah and so like and at this point i still just think they're doing like an iv contrast you guys just like you guys are just you're pinpricking me and keep in mind when i walk in ryan i see like you know those like stands that have the iv on it yeah

so i see one of those stands five wheels i see i see an iv bag with a tube coming from it going straight into something that's shaped like a dick and i look at it i'm like oh that's weird that's probably like he's probably has a stack day today i wonder who that's for uh and so then he starts explaining to me what's gonna happen and i'm like i'm trying to connect the dots i'm like oh my god i think that thing is for me and so like i like as soon as i connect those dots i'm like hold on hold on hold on hold on that's going in me? Give me a measurement here.

What are we talking about? A dick-sized thing. This big. It was the size and the shape of a dick. A good dick size? It was girthy. Was it as big as wood? My fingers wouldn't be able to connect if I went around it.

That's a big dick. My fingers wouldn't be able to connect around it. Oh, about that thick? Yeah. That's a big dick. My fingers wouldn't be able to connect around it. Oh, about that thick? Yeah. That's a big dick. That's a thick dick. Thicker than this. And they say, Dr. Drew says nothing bigger than this should go on your rectum.

So you know what? Maybe it was exactly this big. What's he say? He says nothing bigger than the okay sign in your rectum, in your asshole. Okay. So maybe it was exactly this size. Maybe that's how I'm remembering. Oh, actually, yeah.

You know what? Okay. Because I remember. Okay. That leads to another part of it so he's now explaining to me like he's trying to chit chat and make me feel comfortable he's just like man you're like you're the youngest person i've ever had in here like that's pretty cool like okay um the history i want to make i'm in a hospital gown um and so he like he first does the iv contrast puts me into the cat scan thing takes

me out he's like okay we did that part and now we're gonna you know go into the rectal part of the exam and then i'm just like oh this really is happening like oh so how does this work he's like well first of all you're really lucky you have good insurance i'm like why he's like because they're letting me use KY for this. You got to be fucking with me. I'm not joking. Come on, dude. I'm just like. That's not an inside joke he uses.

Dude, he literally said that to me. I'm just like, lucky boy. What a lucky boy I am. And so I'm like, so how does this work? He's just like, yeah, it's really crazy with these old people. Because a lot of them don't have like like their muscles are so relaxed down there that they can't keep everything in because like we have to put all this iv contrast in oh god and so i'm like so how do you guys i was like so how do you keep it in he's like i press this little button i'm

like what does that button do he presses it and an inflatable thing starts inflating around the dick so it's like imagine someone took a condom inflated it and then wrapped it around this dildo thing so that it creates a seal a shit barrier so it creates a seal oh my god and so i'm like okay okay so this thing's gonna go in my ass this thing is gonna inflate in my ass and then all this liquid is gonna come rushing in my ass and i'm like this is gonna be rough this is gonna be really rough and you're not being twilight or put out or anything for this it is wide awake fully conscious this is like seven o'clock in the morning i just woke up um and so he's just like all right and he like puts the ky on it the ky in it oh yeah and before this as he's explaining all this all right. And he puts the KY in it.

Oh, yeah. And before this, as he's explaining all this, my mom is in the room with me, too. And so as soon as she realizes. This is no big deal. She didn't know that thing was going in my ass, either. How the hell? And as soon as we both connect the dots, she's like, Nadav, do you want me in here? I'm like, absolutely not.

Good, mom. And so I'm like, you go into the way to wait outside and listen to the screams and so he starts lubing up this dick-shaped probe and he's just like all right i'm gonna count to three one two goes in on two and like fuckers ryan this guy was not gentle it was just like it was like in the span of one breath he was all the way in and like at that moment you feel something so severely traumatizing like that you don't think into the future and so i just like as soon as that goes and i'm like oh my god this is the worst fucking moment of my life this is the worst fucking moment of my life you're ever present and

as as i finish that thought i hear all right get ready for inflation i'm like what and then he presses the button and this thing now you feel it inflates and do you feel it yeah right and like how it feels like trying to describe it feels like someone's fucking me in the middle of my ass it feels it feels so bad feels... The balloon up your ass is all kinds of shit up your ass. A balloon is actively inflating in my ass. And so I just finished the thought, that's the worst moment of my life. And then the thing inflates. I'm like, oh, never mind.

That's the worst moment of my life. And then, you know, that hurts so bad that I'm just like, okay, Nadav, we're getting through this. And he goes, all right. And has that whole thing up in there? Mm-hmm. It inflates at the base. It inflates at the base. So he has to go all the way in to get that seal.

He is fucking me with this dildo thing. And so it is now inflated in my ass. And I correct myself. I'm like, oh, no, wait wait this is the worst moment of my life and then he goes all right get ready for the contrast i'm like what and then all this liquid all this contrast just rushes into me and i would say it feels like the opposite of diarrhea where instead of stuff violently leaving you this liquid is violently entering because it's hung up over here so it's just using gravity to just go in i'm just like oh my god like it's now you're starting to feel full because like this shit's

going into you so is the purpose to flush you out is that what no no they put iodine okay so they put iodine in there on his yeah so they pump iodine into my asshole they put me into this ct thing and they take a scan so they could see how inflamed everything is and they could tell if it's inflamed enough to operate on and so then they take me out and now this stuff is like now draining out of me and the guy's like you you're probably going to want to, like, sit on the toilet for about 15 minutes for all this stuff to come out. I'm like, okay. And so he takes it out. Just like, oh, man, there's, like, some blood on this.

I'm like, uh-huh. He's like, no, it just means that you don't do this a lot. I'm like, okay. Or ever. I'm like, yeah, don't be so fucking surprised. I'm not. I don't just take all these fucking dicks in my ass left and right like yeah this is just a fucking 7 a.m on a tuesday bro fucking a so he's like still cracking jokes and then my mom okay so then i i change i change out of my gown and i put my clothes on and my, she tells me she's never seen me like this.

She's like, you were pale white. And you're always smiling. You're always laughing. I've never, like you were just expressionless. And then. Should have seen me in the room, though. At this point, it's 10 a.m. And she's like, what do you want to do?

I'm like, can we go get ice cream? I'm just a sad boy a sad 25 year old asking for his mom to take him to get ice cream after they just fucked him in the ass with this medical exam and Ryan no ice cream places are open at 10am so we went to this Israeli place

that really just it filled with asshole waiters like it was just it's just fucking god awful and so oh yeah but here's the catch so that was just to check my inflammation to see if i was like ready to be operated on inflammation didn't go down enough so like sorry we can't operate on you yet you gotta do it again so a couple months later for real you had to do a fight a couple months well i a couple months later i'm like starting to work again right i'm like starting to get it like starting to get post-production gigs like i'm making relationships with directors and stuff like i'm becoming people's like go-to person and like i am with this director like We're having an editing session for this music video or whatever.

And I get a call from my doctor saying, hey, just want to let you know. Six months have passed since we had that test. I think it's time to take another test to see if the inflammation has gone down enough for us to operate on. And I'm just like, nope. He's like, what? I'm like, no. I'm not doing that test again. And he's like what i'm like no i'm not i'm not doing that test again and he's like nadav come on man like you have to do your knee yeah you have it's your ass you have to you have to do like we have to know going into it if we could operate on you

i was like doctor let me ask you a question you have a you have a mom he's like yeah like how old is she he's like 70 years old like would you tell your mom to take this test he's like yeah i would tell my mom to take this test i'm like okay well i'm not your mom and i've already taken this test i know what it's like going into it the only reason i was okay with it the first time i didn't know what i was getting into. Now I know. And you're telling me that there's absolutely no way that you could figure out that my inflammation has gone down without shoving this thing up my ass again. He's like, I mean, I guess we could give you some anti-inflammatories and, like, wait a month or two and then, like, make you do a breath test or something. I'm just like, breathe.

Just breathe into a bag. He's like, yeah. I'm like, okay. Yeah, really wish we did that the first time. And so I asked him if he would force his mother to do that test, and he said yes. And I still told him to go fuck himself, and that I'm not doing it again. And you've never done it again?

I've never done that CT rectal exam. But did you find out if your health is okay? Well, I mean, we got 10 centimeters of my colon removed. So you did go through the surgery? Yeah, just not that part of the test. They knock you out for that surgery. They don't knock you out for the CT rectal exam. But did you do the breath exam?

Is that what you waited to take that option? I think so. I might be confusing my timelines. I think the breath test is some sort of anti-inflammatory test. I could be wrong, though. I'll ask Dr. Drew. But then you went for the surgery. You had 10 centimeters of your colon removed.

And how long were you out of commission after that? Probably another six months. Because after that, I had to walk around with a PICC line. Damn. Which is a thing that you carry around that just injects you full of antibiotics throughout the entire day and like i remember i was the first event that i hung out with my friends i went to this concert um and it was like a couple weeks out of surgery and like i finally like feel like i'd gotten enough strength to go out and it was like my favorite band from high school so i was like oh yeah it's gonna be like a high school reunion like all my friends always go

to these shows and so i go and like as i'm getting patted down i'm like this is actually pretty dope like i feel normal again and as i get patted down the security guard like starts patting me down and he like sees this thing's like whoa what the fuck and then he like sees the thing's like oh yeah just go right man you're fine like really treats me like a handicapped person i'm just like i don't know if i like that but i should have snuck a lot more weed in i don't know if i like this preferential treatment but this is ripe for abuse uh but yeah that was uh walked around with a pick line for like a month or two and i'm glad you're all right yeah worst three moments of my life within a five i mean i

enjoyed it i just want you to know for what it's worth i enjoyed hearing about it great i'm glad it was fun man i i hope these were interesting yeah this has been a lot of fun i feel like i know you probably way too well now yeah yeah yeah you know i'm a bleeder well a lot doesn't mean you don't do it at all doesn't mean i don't do it it means i don't do it off dude thank you so much for coming on, and I appreciate you sharing your stories. And if you want to promote anything again, please do. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait. Yeah.

16-year-old self. Oh. You're not a repeat guest. Okay. What advice would you give to your 16-year-old self? Advice to my 16-year-old self, fuck what anyone else thinks, you know, do what feels right to you. Uh, you're living your life.

Watch what other people eat. Don't make you shit. I learned that from Mark Kelly. Yeah. You know, maybe that kind of ages like milk little bit. Yeah, a little a lot. Still good words, though. What they eat don't make us shit. Real talk.

So it's that. Don't live your life in fear of what other people think of you. As long as you're having fun and doing what you like, not lighting yourself on fire to keep other people warm, you're fine. If you're happy, you're good. And if you're not happy, change something. Great. Promote whatever you're happy, you're good. And if you're not happy, change something. Great. Promote whatever you'd like, please. Follow me on Twitter, YMHBlueBand.

Follow me on Instagram, VeryNadavShow. And follow me on Twitch, twitch.tv slash VeryNadavShow. Alright, man. Thank you for doing this. As always, I'm Ryan Sickler at ryansickler.com. Get your night pants. Subscribe to my YouTube. We'll talk to y'all next week