The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Rachael O'Brien

Episode Date: December 23, 2019

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve! My HoneyDew this week is Rachael O'Brien! When you were 12 you probably hoped you got everything you wanted for Christmas...Rachael's dad told her he was dying. Rachael also shares a story about being bullied so badly as an adult that she went to a rehab facility to heal! Subscribe, download & review! I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy Hanukkah!

You're listening to The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here at Studio Jeans, doing it at your mom's house. I'm Ryan Sickler. You can follow me on social media at Ryan Sickler. My website's ryansickler.com. Go over there, sign up for the email list. Also, I just want to say thank you to everyone out there. All the messages, all the love. I appreciate everything. We're going to keep bringing this show. We're going to keep highlighting the lowlights. You ask all the time, what's the

best way to help? The best way to help is to engage engage with the sponsors and a lot of you are doing that so thank you very much that's how we keep doing this thing and uh the website for the show is the honeydewpodcast.com go there that's where you can get the merch the links to social media for the honeydew uh all that so uh i always say if you're new to the show what we do here is we highlight the lowlights. Okay. These are the stories behind the storytellers. And it's a pleasure to bring you today's guest. First time here on the Honeydew.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Rachel O'Brien. Welcome to the Honeydew. I'm clapping for myself. You should. What a narcissist. No. You clap for yourself. God damn it.

Welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. Thanks for being here. Will you please, before we begin, plug anything you'd like? Well, I'm guessing this is not going to come out by the time I do, but I'll say it anyways. Say it. Because I like to brag. November 7th, I'm headlining Punchline Philly.

November 8th, two shows at the Queen Wilmington in Delaware. That's November 8th, so if it comes out before that, which probably not because that's next week. And then I got a podcast. Be here for a while. So if it comes out before that, which probably not because that's next week. And then I got a podcast. Be here for a while. So yeah, that's about it. Great. And your calendar is on your website? Yeah, richobryancomedy.com. There you go.

So you had reached out and you sent a few really interesting things that I'm excited to talk to you about. But first, let's just start with the basics. Where are you from? Where'd you grow up? What was that like? Okay, cool. But I did reach out originally to have you on my podcast. You're clearly very busy. I know. Yeah, I'm sorry. But I want to do it. And I will. I'm saying I will do it. I'm gonna do it. Thanks. Okay, I just put you on the spot in front of everyone. No problem. Okay, so where I'm from i'm from um a small town called astoria

oregon it's the goonies town it's the only way anyone really knows it also kindergarten cop we had that there it was a big filming time did you were you there during the did you live there during the filming of goonies yeah to go see any of it in town or no i wasn't born for goonies i was in kindergarten when kindergarten cop was filmed at my school. It was actually at your school? Yeah. So I got to be like a featured extra but they cut my scene so that's too bad. Is that for real though? Like we got like paid for it.

Like I got carried out by a firefighter. You got your first taste of show business in kindergarten, huh? The real way. I was like they didn't know talent. We're going to pay you but you're not being in that guy. You get a signed autograph from Arnold. Kindergarten cop, isn't that? Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina. Isn't that that movie?

Yeah, Arnold Schwarzenegger. I can't remember who else. So yeah, it was like a movie town a little bit. But that's kind of all we had that was cool. Other than that, it was like... The town looks like, when I go back, I'm like, it looks like it's still the 70s. Even the cars parked there,

it hasn't evolved much. And it's kind of a hick town i you know all my friends were camouflaged sometimes i did too i love there are rednecks everywhere yeah people think there are just rednecks in the south there are rednecks everywhere oh yeah and i feel like in my town people like developed a fake redneck accent i'm like you don't talk like that i'm south or yeah they're like i'm a thrower in reverse. I'm like, you didn't say that just because you're hunting right now. Like, it's not. But, I mean, I kind of bought into it.

Like, I drove a lifted 4Runner. You did? Oh, yeah. Pretty dorky. But it was like, you know, it was just like real kind of good old boy. Like, the activity on the weekends was looping, which is where you'd, like, put a case of beer in your truck your truck and then you just drive around like a lake or through logging roads. So it's like drinking and driving was basically.

Yeah. With a bunch of people in the back. Yeah. So it was really safe. You know, we one time we went to a group of us went to see we were just talking about this, too. We went to see ACDC at the Capitol Center in D.C. And we had a keg in the back of the car and my friend had a four-runner too and there were about four or five of us in the back and not ever even considering

like what if somebody rear ends us and we have to get you know even if they tapped us and we have to pull over they're gonna be like hey six kids and a keg just got out of the back of the stuff the cans and your it's a keg yeah also out of the back of his fucking head. You can't just stuff the cans in your chest. It's a keg. Yeah. Stupid shit. Also just dangerous, too. It just amazes me that any human being gets past the age of, like, 17. Yeah, I think especially in small towns, too.

Well, but then again, I feel like rich kids in big cities, like, they were doing coke and stuff. Like, that wasn't big in my town. I mean, until I left, no one does heroin, but that came later. But every city's got it now, though. Yeah, it's terrible. Terrible. But like for the small per capita of my school, like all like the good like athletes and stuff that I went to school with that had like had so much promise, like, you know, they're not dead, but they're still probably using. But yeah, so it was just like kind of one of those, you know, hick towns. And my dad was a lumberjack or a logger. He owned a logging company.

But he originally started, like, you know, just being a logger and then worked his way up. So when you say being a logger, was he the guys I see, like, just chainsawing these logs all day long? And, like, I see these videos of, like, sometimes the tree will fall the wrong way and all that shit. these videos of like sometimes the tree will fall the wrong way and all that shit. Oh, yeah. My dad had an employee that, yeah, he had to carry him out of the woods. Something bad like that happened. Really? Oh, yeah. It's considered in the top like five most dangerous jobs in the world. I would think so, right?

Like when I was little, I remember like my dad was sawn into a tree and I can't remember what it kicked back off of, but saw kicked back, came chainsaw straight through his leg to the bone. Ah. Yeah. But you'll hear a lot of these stories of my dad where back came chainsaw straight through his leg to the bone yeah but you'll hear a lot of these stories of my dad were like they put a cast on him and he was like nah i'm gonna go back to work cut the cast off went back like where he just doesn't he's like he's a fucking logger he's yeah he's a man he's a man yeah yeah so uh yeah so that's what he did but my mom it's so weird because it's like i grew up in like this like kind of like hick place. But my mom is from like an Italian family.

Like she's first generation from like. Oh, wow. Okay. And who knows how many of the stories are true. I mean, they are true. Like my great grandfather was a four-star general, lived in the Carinale Palace. And like, so like fancy Italian shit. So my mom was raised there, but it's just sort of like what

you know so that's the way she acts like even if she we didn't have money when i was younger but like it looked like we had money like she knows how to make things look like you know so i we were never really in that world and she made my dad like like my dad would have probably lived at his duck shack for the rest of his life if he didn't marry my mom he has a duck shack yeah he does it's his little hunting place you know so so yeah so did he build it does he also build yeah yeah i think he built it but i'm sure other people helped him he's not like real handy like that but they're cutting down these monsters they're huge there's a video that like from the god probably the 80s i think that someone put on a dvd for my dad and there's a tree that it looks like it's like probably 10 feet in diameter maybe and i'm like

i don't even know how they got through that it's like they're just like winding on it for like a while you see carved out where cars drive through and shit yeah oh what they used to do there's a bunch of pictures of my dad growing up where they they cut a wedge out of it that's how you cut the tree down so you cut a wedge out with the chainsaw and you put these little orange pegs in i can cut a tree down and then you hammer it with an axe and then it tips over well there's that big wedge out of it for a while and so they would go lay in it and take pictures and i'm like what if the wind caught it wrong yeah yeah okay but it was like that's how they did it just proved that they're manly i guess drink rainier beer i don't know yeah so so yeah so my dad yeah i just grew up with like a

you know and i was a tomboy my dad used to call me junior because he had two girls and i was the only one willing to like hang um hilarious you're junior i wasn't i wasn't a cute kid i mean i was like i had phases i mean there was a fat phase, and I was also just weird. Like, I look back at photos, and every other girl would be, like, in the ballet photo, like, posing. And I would be, like, doing all this weird stuff. And it's like, calm down, Rachel. What was your fat phase? What age were you?

That was, like, I guess maybe, like, maybe 11 or 12 to, like, 15. But, like, I didn't know I was fat. i thought i was gorgeous you know what like i thought i should try out for a pageant but as you should think like i've seen photos i look back i'm wearing skin tight leopard pants and like a tank top and i'm like mom why did you let me wear that she's like i thought you were pretty but do you look at it you look at it now and you can you say oh i was overweight for that i weighed almost 180 pounds maybe 200 i was that's the last time i weighed myself i was eating two plates of nachos minimum right when i got home from school like it was no denying it but like i didn't know when did it when did you realize that not looking back at it but when then did you realize like okay i should probably not do that well i think i like would realize like

there was like a kid that was like really short this kid um came up to me and he's like why do you wear such tight shirts when you're so fat and i'm like why are you so short buddy like i like i was like my response is like i was just like i don't care i'm from a small town my parents are fairly successful i got great hair lifted i could cut a tree down like life's not that bad yeah um and then someone did put a think uh think thin magnet on my locker but i also remember looking that and i did that but i remember not crying i remember just being like it's kind of a well-timed joke and i probably know who did that like it didn't like i got much. I had so much fun just like laughing with my best friend and just being a weirdo that like it wasn't like I didn't go to a big enough high school where there was like a popular crowd. So it wasn't like, you know, the cheerleaders were like missing teeth probably at my school. Like it didn't it wasn't like, oh, I want to be that. It was like, I'm just being a kid. wasn't like oh i want to be that it was like i'm just being a kid but uh i think the first time i realized is i probably just like looked at a magazine and was like oh that's what they have

a waistline that's like that's got it and then i toned down the nacho eating a little bit that's good that your mom supported it too like never said anything to you about it no and i think that's super healthy. Like I'm glad they didn't. Like, I feel like the girls that grew up with like people telling them like, you got to be this, like they're fucked up for life with that kind of stuff.

Like, yeah, a friend of mine, um, he was telling his daughter, his daughter said to me, she goes, he thinks I'm fat.

And I was like, no, he's like, I do not think you're fat. I just don't think you're as active as you should be. You should is what he said to her and then I would catch her throughout the day like like checking her shirt like making sure and I was like oh so I told him I was like she's definitely thinking about it so yeah I want to just I think there's just put her in a fucking sport and don't say something about yeah I think that's we're playing soccer yeah like my mom used

to go for runs and she'd ask me to go with her and i'd make it about a quarter mile before i was like i think i have asthma she's like i'll see you back at the house i layered those perfectly i can't let them go to wait i used to make individual size bowls of cookie dough okay so you look do you ever look back on that and think why you were eating like that was there something going on was it you know what i mean you ever look back at that because i have an unhealthy relationship with food i will eat when i'm happy sad yeah to celebrate like just whatever bored i just eat yeah it's that comfort thing well i mean i like love food now it's like all i think about like when i'm on vacation i'm like i don't need to see a monument like where's the

best seafood restaurant tell me where's the good happy hour like in your mountain yeah where can i go get some yeah i mean i do like hiking but um back then yeah probably because that was when my dad got sick and also during that time i do remember also having like maybe like six months when he was really sick where I think I had like little kid OCD where I would like count things I would think it was just like a weird coping mechanism that I just grew out of like I did that too I would count by threes me too I was threes and eleven remotes I would slide my thumb up and down the remote and it was three three three I started counting by three that's really weird I was threes too but then

I don't know why you would go by 11s? I think 11 was my sports numbers and then I would go like, okay, three and then a multiple of three and 11 is 33. So I don't know. Maybe that's what it was. So then when I was like I'd have been like 12, I guess. I just know my dad was 39 because my dad

is four months younger than my mom. And he's a very strong, sturdy, healthy 39. I mean, he'll say he's six foot. He's maybe 5' than my mom. And he's a very strong, sturdy, healthy 30-year-old. Just athletic. I mean, he'll say he's six foot. He's maybe 5'10", 5'11". I feel him, though. Yeah, he says there's a misprint in the newspaper from his high school.

I'm like, okay. But, yeah, just athletic. I mean, my dad's a really good-looking guy, too. He looks a little bit like almost a better-looking version of Jim Morrison or Jeff Bridges, although no one agrees with me about Jeff Bridges. But anyways, just he was just super healthy. And the first time we started to notice it, like looking back on this tape at my mom's 40th birthday.

So he's been 39. So my dad and I, I should have been the one like getting tired. That's what I was fat. And we're dancing to Freebird, which, you know, is the longest song ever. 15 minutes. Like, you know, i couldn't i mean actually i was doing fine but you start to notice in this video like he's like it's weird he's like he looks visibly tired towards the end of this like home video when he's dancing and like we watched that later after we found out he was sick but like kind of i guess that's when he started to maybe see it and then all of a sudden he just um like he went from being 39 handsome strong all that to looking like he was 60 or 70

and how quickly I honestly can't remember I want to say within a few months maybe maybe 16 70 not he just like he deteriorated so quickly like you, this like fatty part of your hand right here. That was completely gone. Like he started like picking things up like this, like his. So his symptoms. Well, they thought he had Lou Gehrig's disease or ALS. I was going to ask because a friend of mine, his dad did pass from that. And it was so fast. Oh, yeah.

Months. And he was a jogger. He was a runner. Super healthy. Good eater. So he did he pass in a few months or just deteriorated in a few months? He deteriorated in a few months and then stayed around. But he

was not himself. I mean he was here for another year or two maybe. And then he passed away. So that makes a lot of sense because they that's what they diagnosed him as. But here's the thing. My parents are very protective of me and my sister. No joke. They told us that he had carpal tunnel. Nuh-uh.

Swear to God. Because they didn't want us to. Because my mom didn't believe he was dying. So she was like, you don't know what you're talking about? Or she was like, fuck that. We're going to will this another way. To the doctor? Yeah.

So it was fuck that. And my dad was like, fuck that too. But probably my mom helped him. So they say you have ALS. So yeah, they go to the Mayo Clinic. They actually went there three times. Because first of all, they couldn't figure out what it was fuck that. And my dad was like, fuck that too. But probably my mom helped me. They say you have ALS. So yeah, they go to the Mayo Clinic. They actually went there three times. Because first of all, they couldn't figure out what it was at first. So then they go out to the Mayo Clinic.

Some doctor out there tells them that he has got ALS and he's got six months to live. And my mom was like, my husband's not fucking dying. And the doctor also told my dad, well, you're also never going to run a saw again. And I guess, I don't know if my dad said it to the doctor afterwards. He's like, I'm going to come back there with a saw and cut his wood desk apart i got one of my truck right now motherfucker i could use my feet yeah exactly so uh she was just like this no i don't believe that's what it is it was either like it wasn't what it was but had she not been like that a lot of people would just accept that diagnosis so so then what do you do? Where did they go next for the second opinion?

I can't remember if it got like the third visit to the Mayo Clinic or it was a visit to OHSU, a hospital in Oregon. Awesome doctor who is still with Dr. Petrunin who found it. But they ended up figuring out that it was a really rare form of cancer called Waldenstrom's disease that most men get like later in their life in their 70s and then they usually die of it. Well, it's like so where it's like 200 people get it a year or something crazy. But my dad mostly attacks men in their later years.

But your dad's he got a nine. So that's why he survived. So they were like, yeah. So he got it young and they were like and were like, and probably just science had gotten better. So then they were just basically like, we're going to give you chemo. And he almost miraculously, it felt like, got better. Not to put you on the spot. Maybe you know, maybe you don't know.

I've never heard of this. So what sort of cancer is this? It's a cancer of the blood. Blood, okay. Yeah, it's like that. But it looks so similar to Lou Gehrig's disease. He was so bad, he would stand up and then, like, fall over. Whoa.

But he was really funny about it. He would say, like, I'd be like, I'd be like, Dad, you want me to go get that for you? He's like, no, I'm going to get up. I'm going to do a backflip, land in the pike position. I'm like, just a idiot. He had a really good, I think they just both had really good attitudes about it. But this whole time, my sister and I are in the dark. Like, we're just both had really good attitudes about it. Um, but this whole time,

my sister and I are in the dark. Like we're just seeing our dad where we're like, how old are you? Like 12 and 13. I didn't even find out my dad had cancer until I was at school. And this kid that like, I think I went on a few dates with, and then he didn't end up liking me.

Like we, and everybody's like, heard your dad's got cancer. I was like, cool. I thought it was carpal tunnel. That's news to me. That's how you found out that's just like

his mom was and santa claus didn't really god damn you hit me with a lot today man it's so ridiculous but there's a there's a part of the timeline too though where like my dad because my dad and i are very close like to the point where he when he was that sick he also like there was a lot of like let's's just pretend like things are OK, sort of in my family. Yeah. And he didn't want to stop going to work. And so he. How could he drive?

Well, that's where I'd come in at 14. So over the summer, we'd get in his truck, we'd pull out of the driveway. What's his truck? Like a he was like a Dodge, like Dually. Dually. Yeah. so at 14 yeah down like tiny whiny logging roads and just cliffs on each side no driver's permit just yeah and i was a terrible driver up until i was about 22 too i mean that's a big fucking truck to be driving it even 16 17 and those roads there's literally semis coming down you have to be on a cb and be like i'm coming around like mile marker whatever so then they know to pull over you know

to pull over it's like you're gonna crash at any time anyways so like we'd pull out of the driveway and then we'd switch seats because when my dad would drive he'd have to lift his leg up from gas to brake just to put it on there so it was super dangerous so yeah yeah i'd drive into the woods and i'd drive into the woods and i'd go walk the jobs for him did your mom know you guys were doing this no no she just thought i was going to hang with him so then he'd send me down in the woods and be like what do the trees look like i'm like i don't know this thing um so yeah we were really close and then he confided in me not my sister even though i'm younger eventually that he was dying. This is before they figured out the whatever.

So I'm like 12, and he used to get freezing because his nerves still hurt to this day, but he's fine. You would never know he was sick. Oh, really? He's got... He just gets chemo twice a year. And he has the full range of motion in his hands, and he can drive and everything? He's 100% fine.

Wow. The other day, he... Only because he got this cancer at a young age. So this would... I think so. In your later years, it would probably take you out. Probably.

Probably. He was healthy to begin with. I mean, he's so fine that... I mean, he gets really tired and stuff. Did he run a saw again? Oh, yeah. He still does. Did he go tell that fucking doctor?

Probably. I would have just been... Is that doctor still alive? In his doorway, he's... It's such a terrifying noise. It is. doctor probably i would have just been that doctor still alive it is there's a guy in the neighborhood uh for halloween he's the asshole that always does the uh chainsaw without the chain oh yeah but he scares kids that they run into the fucking road they're running into the road and i'm like hey chill out with that fucking chain does he have his own kids probably not okay that guy's also probably i've never had a conversation

with he's probably killed someone the person's a creep to scare little kids like that he scares the shit out of them yeah that's that's crazy um what was i saying oh yeah do you ever go oh so my dad's so fine though to this day though like he maybe a month ago uh he got so you have to drive like three hours to like the nearest good hospital he got his chemo in salem morgan literally ivy in his arm and then he wanted to drive his car to california because he's got a vacation home in palm springs literally on they unhook the ivy and he's like drives nine hours to sacramento yeah fuck yeah drives nine hours to sacramento stays night, and then drives the next nine hours, gets up at 4 a.m., and then the next day goes golfing.

Like, he's fine. Or he just is in denial. But he's fine. How old is he now? 61. So 20, a little over 20 years ago. Yeah, yeah. And he does two sessions a year?

Yeah, and then he gets another thing called IVIG. There's something that filters out the blood. I don't know. So why do you think or do you know why he confided in you and not your sister? My sister was much more emotional when we were kids. She had hard teenage years. She'd cry a lot. I was just pretty stable.

I didn't even cry with my dad. So he would go out to his shop outside and sit by a fire because he would get so cold and like you couldn't even turn the heat up hot enough in our house and he didn't want to make us hot and so I remember going out there one night and I remember telling him telling me like I am probably going to die or this isn't looking good um whoa yeah sat down had that conversation I did not cry when he told me that like I could cry more about it now i did not cry at that age is it because you didn't believe it no i think it was just like i guess this is i think when you're a kid sometimes you almost have more strength because you don't maybe know what's going on and like or it's like okay like and you don't want to make him sad and like he got to i mean

in the conversation he was like i want to be um we had a cemetery like half mile away he's like i want to be buried there so i can stop and visit you guys from time to time and i was like, I want to be, we had a cemetery like half mile away. He's like, I want to be buried there so I can stop in and visit you guys from time to time. And I was like, okay, great. I want the old Irish blessing on your gravestone. Your dad's going to sing Danny boy. We got this like super Irish. And I, I just, I didn't cry. I didn't cry until I went back in my room that night.

And then I, you know, started crying. Yeah. But it's like, I feel like if he said that to me now, maybe I think I'd be more emotional. Have you ever talked to him about, do you remember that time you said this to me? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And what does he say? Oh, he remembers. So there was some doubt for him or some concern at the moment?

Oh, yeah. I mean, there was priests that told him to make plans. I mean, they came in and he was dying. It was just like they just kept trying to figure out like this isn't what it is this is what it is and like at the final hour basically they they got lucky or just didn't give up wow yeah that's awesome yeah it's pretty cool my mom's a badass for you know and me and my my sister and his lives like really did it while it was scary like it's not like our whole world fell apart.

It was like, all right, our dad just looks different. He doesn't feel good. He's still laughing. How's he look now? Fine. Does he look like he ever went through anything? Does that make sense what I'm asking? Yeah, I know what you're saying. Does he have any full range of motion or nothing's a little...

No, he's got big paw hands from like holding a saw all the time. But like, I mean, I kind of have those hands too. No reason for that. Soft vomit hands. Um, I mean,

not really. He's got a full head of gray hair and he's had that young, but that also like runs in his family sort of like, I don't think, I don't know, compared to my mom who looks really young, maybe he looks older, but not really. He just, I mean, he's just kind of a badass. I don't know, compared to my mom who looks really young, maybe he looks older, but not really.

He just, I mean, he's just kind of a badass. I mean, like maybe six years ago, he had a tire blowout and his truck flipped off of like, if you've ever been to Oregon, it's like, basically there are highways that have cliffs on each side. Flipped like four or five times or something off

of a cliff, lands. He's just got a bloody head. He gets out of the car. There's a woman screaming down below. He gets out of the car, and he tells her to calm down. He's like, calm down. He's just, I don't know. What?

He's just a weird man that's like just cheated death. He flipped and rolled. His car completely totaled. Was it one of those dually trucks? Yeah. I mean, that's got to be a violent fucking flip. Dually's the two wheels. It's an extra cab.

Yeah. So it's not two wheels in the back okay yeah but still that's a monster truck that has to be flipping violently i mean he's probably not going slow on those roads yeah no probably not but he walked out of it he didn't even go to the hospital and there's something wrong with him he might not be there is something wrong with him for real yeah i guess at the minimum i'm like i want a concussion test. Bring that fucking tent over here. Put me in it right now and give me that exam, god damn it. It's ridiculous. So I would want everything checked.

He's like, I'm fine. And this lady's screaming for him. And he goes, calm down. And he's like, shut up, bitch. I'm fine. Who wants to go golfing? Unbelievable. I'm trying to make my tea time it's true good god yeah he's a badass

so did after um he beat this cancer did he go back to work yeah he did yeah doing what he did or did he have to shift into like some kind of supervisor role where you don't go out there and he already owned the company so he was already like he didn't have to fall trees all the time anymore i mean he still does it sometimes just to prove it to himself he can but i mean he was still working during it he obviously wasn't falling trees but he was or i was driving him into the woods or someone was um and so yeah he basically just went back to kind of where he was before you know just like checking you know he still has to hike into the woods and check all that and sometimes

fall trees so yeah did he drive 18 wheelers and shit too no that's a whole separate thing there's a whole separate thing like my dad just owns like the falling part of the company so that's not even the people that like process it or have the trucks i mean there's oh they're just the only part is they they they contract down and then then it goes off to a whole nother company yeah yeah yeah okay yeah so my brother he'll do shit like he he runs um an auto recycling business so it's a junkyard and they crush out cars and he'll send me pictures where he brings the 18 wheeler home with a load of crushed cars and chain holding them all down and parks it right out front he's like my neighbors are so pissed jesus and it just makes me laugh he's out there taking pictures of it and

sends it to me i just wondered if your dad ever pulled out like a whole fucking hall logs uh i just met a truck driver in uh this like 500person town in a bar in Colorado. I happened to be visiting there. And this truck driver, I was like, I have such a diarrhea of the mouth. And I listen to so much true crime. I just wanted to be like,

is everyone pedophiles that you run with? And I was like, don't say that, don't say that, don't say that. And I just started to ask him all these weird questions in a roundabout way.

Is that a big thing among truckers? Have you not seen To Catch a Predator? I have. There's a lot of serial killers that were also like truck drivers and that's how they would... You haven't listened to My Favorite Murder. You know Karen. I do listen to enough of it, but I didn't know that was a thing among truckers.

Now you lost all your truck driver listeners. Sorry. I thought it was more the ladies of the night for the truckers, not the kids of the night. I truckers not well i think it's a combo of the night yeah well i think it's probably it probably is more ladies of the night but there i remember like several episodes of to catch a predator where they'd roll up like they were truck drivers now you can get away i guess too you're always on the road somewhere else

yeah you would never know there was now like a lot of now though they're your gps track like especially if you work you can't like back in the, they do a little speed and go all the way through the night. You can't do that shit anymore. They can GPS. I'm pretty sure they probably still do speed. Probably do. Yeah. Only allowed just to do speed for a few short runs.

It's just now you're just doing this. Well, the long haul, I'm sure it's encouraged. They're just handed it to him. The truck stop. So, yeah, that's I mean, that's so he's fine now that's just that's a great story yeah thank you yeah yeah it's not and you're you're super close still and everything oh yeah my dad my dad and i go to concerts i've my dad and i've seen like every classic rock concert probably together of anyone that's still alive like we go we have a blast what's the last

one you saw most recently i think it was Bad Company and Sammy Hagar? No. Who was the other? I can't remember the other one right now. Maybe it was Sammy Hagar. Yeah. Where do you go? Well, that one just happened to be in Palm Springs at some golf tournament. A lot of things are revolved around golf.

It was like, he goes golf tournament, these guys play. They played at 5 p.m., by the way, which is such an old, these guys are getting real old that it's a 5 p.m. concert on a golf tournament. These guys play. They played at 5 p.m., by the way, which is such an old. These guys are getting real old that it's a 5 p.m. concert on a golf course. Oh, the concert's at 5 p.m. Oh, yeah. No. I was like, are you sure it's not a typo? 5 o'clock, guys.

Before dinner. Right before dinner. I've seen Rod Stewart in concert, and he will barely stand up. He's just sort of like, I'm rich now. I don't have to do this. And if he doesn't feel like singing, he just puts the microphone out to the audience you know you're just there to see sir rod yeah i guess so um so you also had sent a story about um a situation you experienced in your adult life which i have i have not known anyone to experience it in their

adult life so they're either of i and i'll end for no reason really will you share whatever you're comfortable sharing about yeah i mean i'm fine with it it's uh it's just and now i'm like a kind of happy that i have the story in a weird way because i feel like i don't know i feel like most people like even like female friends that I've had and like mostly female friends, even in the comedy world, like for some reason, like that no one ever thinks bad things happen to me. So like, even if like I told them the full story,

my dad, they'd be like, yeah, well, he didn't die and everything's easy for you. And he was like, I have one of that, something about that,

about me where it's like, I don't know. And I'm fine with that. But like, I think that that now i have street cred so so yeah so i don't mind like before people like fuck her it always works out for her yeah it's like now i got street cred i've seen shit now it's my vietnam um so okay so what happened was it's kind of hard to explain because I did not really know what happened until after I got out.

It was, it was like, I was just like in a dream. I was like, what is happening? And then after I got out, I put the pieces together as I would talk to more people. So I'm going to say this and then I'll go back, talk to more people and find out like what this girl did to then scare my parents and involve people so basically like a winter of 2018 grandma died she was old it's okay like but maybe I was a little bit sad about that and then maybe I was like in the wrong relationship but like no more sad than like normal people get when things happen and um I've never had a substance abuse problem i like to drink i'm irish but i'm like also not a partier like i like to be in bed by 10 p.m like even just like that it's like my problem is i like to fall asleep like so it's like i can't even you know so

just a little backstory on that in case there's going to be any confusion. I, at this point now I would know how to do drugs because of the rehab I went to. So, so it wasn't, I didn't. So basically what happened is I was sent to, I was intervened on. Um, I went twice because I didn't understand the first time what was happening. And then, so at first my mom is just acting weird towards me. She's very worried. It was the first year that I started booking my own shows. And I would open for people on the road, but this was the first time it was like, I'm headlining my own shows on the road. And my mom in her head is probably just thinking, my daughter's on the road by herself.

Horrible things are going to happen. Yeah, I mean, rightfully so. Yeah, true. But I mean mean to be perfectly honest though in the comedy world like i've have not had any like horrible experiences with like any like girls have been more mean to me than guys have so you mean fans or comedians comedians yeah i think the comedians are fine yeah the lunatic fans out there that you know most of my fans are girls though for the most part so it's like what can they do really y'all

can be crazy yeah well actually i guess the story does stem from someone doing something so um so my mom so then she's just always like telling me she's like watching my instagram and being like you you look tired there what's going on just like and i start to feel like what the hell is going on and um then when i was i was doing like a show i was doing new york boston no sorry new jersey boston then back to New York for shows. My mom tells my dad to fly out there and just be with me. I'm like, okay. But I don't know there's something brewing underneath.

I also don't know that someone that was working for me was calling my parents, calling my podcast network, calling friends. Well, I'll tell you about later so okay yeah go ahead so basically that seed's being planted it's being planted like and that's why you're like Rachel so yeah like Rachel so you don't know that no idea so I'm just like this is I feel like I'm the twilight zone so then my my aunt my mom's sister is like a counselor and so she either calls me or I call her because I was like, my mom's freaking out. Like, I don't know what to do.

Like, this is stressful. And my mom had flown. I'm back in L.A. My mom had flown down to see me. And at no point when they come to see you, they say, well, your assistant or whoever called. They never mentioned that. Never mentioned that. Like, it is later that I find out how much that girl was calling out of nowhere.

Like, just... All right. So I'll hold my questions. No, you can ask them. It's just... It's hard for me to tell in the sense of... Because it is so bizarre. It's like memento right now.

It's bizarre. Yeah. I didn't see memento. They tell the story in reverse. Reverse. Sorry. Okay. Keep asking questions.

It bounces around a little bit you know yeah okay well okay so your mom comes to visit she comes to visit and it's a little remarkable that not one person has said well i mean you're fucking whoever's calling the shit out of us they never say that or else that would have stopped it all right there probably yeah it would that was what was weird too was no one was talking to me and it was probably that this girl because she would say things like i would get an email from my podcast network and this girl would say um she said that you need some time off for three weeks um because you're like you're tired you're traveling i'm like no i needed one day off from doing that ad because i lost my voice like what is like just weird shit like that because she was working with me so yeah, yeah, if someone had told me, I would have probably...

So my mom's there, and then my aunt comes down. I'm thinking my aunt's coming to deal with my mom, because she's just kind of stressing me out. And so I go and meet them in a hotel room where my mom was staying, and there is another counselor there. What? A lady there. So it's your aunt who is a

counselor is all you said your mom and an additional counselor it was a family interventionist is what then i'm i find out i was gonna say it sounds like an intervention but it's just the three of them in the room yes so the first time so oh my god so then this lady um asks him to leave the room and she and then she like confides which is like in all my years i've never asked like family to leave the room she's like because i think you're really hurting because you're family so she spends it to me originally that like your family's being too hard on you and but this is all a money-making business by the way like she's like you're codependent your mom's codependent on you your mom needs to work on her codependency like and then she's like will you go somewhere and i'm like well sure but i didn't understand really. And so she.

So they're fully aware that you're not on any substance. You're not. Yeah, I mean, I think so. I think that. I think that maybe. So I have no thyroid gland. And so I get tired a lot. I think maybe that girl maybe said, like, maybe she's on like prescription pills or something.

Like, I don't know. Like, maybe that's why she's tired. I've never taken a prescription pill in my life except for when I got hand surgery. So what was the intervention for? Like, what was their reason? My parents did. No one said. No one said anything to me at that point.

It was this lady saying, she made it seem like there was something going on with my family dynamic. And they said, it was weird. I don't know. So I don't think that they thought there was a substance abuse problem. I don't know. But, well, I know that they don't now. But I don't know initially if that. I don't know what that girl was saying initially.

I don't know what. Because she was making up so many. So I have no idea. But I literally have never done drugs in my life. But they felt the need to intervene and pull you into a hotel to tell you this. But they didn't get into detail of what specifically. Later in the second intervention, which was led by this girl, there was a letter read out loud to me from her.

And here were the reasons. Your podcast downloads sometimes go down low. Your reviews used to be better. Nothing has changed from then to now. Just cruel shit. Just basically, you're not being as good as you could be as a person. And I'm sitting around a fucking room

with that girl who has her own set of problems, two reality star friends who, Kristen wouldn't care if I said this, probably showed up drunk to pick me up to drive me to this fucking thing my poor parents are sobbing one friend that's like a total user is just like putting boxes of like putting the to-go food that my dad had ordered for everyone in the box just like laughing like i'm like in the twilight zone watching looking at these people

and this girl is leading this whole thing a podcast yeah it was like dude your georgia numbers are down okay we really need to do something in the south god and the other reason was it was um we all think it's very concerning that you like to walk a lot of places or you walk everywhere yeah that's exercise yeah that's good for mental health and i did a lot of that was confirmed later at milestones that they were like no that's really healthy that's great that you do that it was that's why i call That's great that you do that. That's why I call it bullying because it was like, imagine just being told things about you that there shouldn't be anything wrong,

but they're like... And the other two, the reality show friends were like, you're always tired and you never want to go out. It's not a reason to... To have an intervention. Yeah. All right, so how long between the first... So what happens after the first intervention? Okay, so I go there.

You go somewhere? So yeah, so I go? So I don't know. She just takes me, and I guess before you go... You just say, I'll agree to go with you? Yeah, I was like, I guess this will be an adventure. I just... I also, it's like my mom, I love my mom so much, I just don't want her to be sad, and I'm like,

this is the same thing that happened the second time. I'm like, if this is what makes them think... If I need to go somewhere for these people to be like, your daughter's fine, she's allowed to be a comedian on the road, you know, and also, like, it was a great way to weed out bad people. Like, that's, I was like, I guess I have to do this. It was sort of like a,

I don't know, weird calling of sorts. It's like a whole group of people are in on a mind fuck. Yeah. And the stuff I found out later that this girl was saying, so I would ask my friends afterwards, the ones that were my real friends, not the girl that met me as a fan at a comedy show, started working for me, is a fan of Vanderpump Rules, and now worked her way into working for the entire group. I mean, it's basic science.

It's weird. It's like that didn't, she didn't, it's a weird Alright, so you leave. We'll come back to her. Yeah. We've got to talk about her. But where do you go? So the first place I go is you have to go to a detox facility before, and they have no way of knowing that, you know, I don't, you know,

and there has to be a bed ready. Do you pee in a cup or anything when you get there? Oh, they give you, no, a full body cavity check. Nuh-uh. And I was like, at that point, I was like, I'm just making jokes. I'm like, I didn't shove a needle up my vagina. Like, this is...

But you have zero substance in your system. In my body. Well, I'd gone to a barbecue the night before, so maybe I had like, nothing though. I'm not detoxing from anything. So I'm just laying. I mean, my mom got me like the nicest room, but I'm laying in a freaking hospital bed

in like without they take all your things away from you i mean i just got to watch tv for a day but any chance you saw the reality shows that your friends were on oh god no i watched some old movies but i was like i literally was like the whole time i was thinking to myself i'm like first of all aren't these kind of things expensive and i was like i mean my parents are successful but i was like did they like what is going on am i from a different like i was just so so confused that like i mean obviously insurance pays for but i was just like what the fuck i'm confused i'm right there with you right now yeah so then after there's a bed ready at the place they drive me

through the canyons to this cool fancy place called miles how long you in detox just a day because i was there well i was there for a day and a half because there wasn't a bed ready the second day. So I had to just sleep overnight and whatever. They drive me to the place. It's beautiful. I ended up loving it later. But I get there and I check in and they're taking just basic things

because people there that are there, some of them are cutters and stuff, which now I understand, but I'm like, why are you taking, I'm trying to think, nail nail clippers or something, like, now I realize that, in case someone steals it from you, to take everything from you, and then I'm like checking in, and they're like, okay, so you'll be here for 30 days,

I was like, sorry, what? No, and they were like, well, that's the program, but you're allowed to leave at any time, and I'm like, all right, I'll think about it. Um, and so I don't stay there right that second. I had, I was like, I have to return the lease in on my car. That was like a big deal. I was like, I don't want to get charged for that. I was like, I'll come back in two days after I handle that and either get a new car or just turn that in. So I come back two days later and I say for 12 days, I had it in my contract. I was still allowed to work. Guess how embarrassing this is. Tell me how surreal this would would be I was on a show with the improv the only person I could remember on it besides myself was Judd Apatow obviously I want to be cool and yeah you know impress him not that

he would talk to me but it's like a surreal moment of like okay I'm on a show I'm proud of my freaking sober coach has to drive me there I have to pretend like she's my aunt to everyone like and she was okay with that though she didn't care but like i'm literally like leave malibu like go to the improv like if i actually had substance abuse problems or depression like severe you know like i listened to your episode with dave anthony like if i was my sadness never was to the point where i'd be you know he planned to like bought a hose yeah he was gonna do it yeah like i maybe just cried and slept sometimes but still i sometimes i got up at 5 a.m and work like just you weren't suicidal no i was excited about my future i

yeah whatever so after like 12 days it was and i'm there with like mostly like really rich young kids who i'm thinking i'm actively losing jobs right now and I don't have a trust fund and like I don't need to be here and now I'm just getting irritated so I left after 12 days cool I think nothing's wrong that girl still make things are still weird but I don't totally notice okay so you don't so what's okay so now let me ask you this while you're in rehab and everywhere else what is your interaction with this girl that's working for you? Is she still texting? Well, I don't get a phone in there, so I just got

to go to my one show. Then probably I think I got to record one podcast or something, or I forget, or at least the ads, of course. I can't remember. I don't know what her involvement was the first time in terms of my business, but the second time she had told my parents, I'll handle everything. everything's going to be fine i was fired from everything while i was there so clearly she wasn't you were oh yeah what did you get fired from my podcast

network dropped me because i found out that she when it's it's interesting so uh yeah so clearly she wasn't handling anything uh so yeah so then the second time um i walk into a room uh where are you at the no it's sophie tell my dad my parents have gotten like a conference room there i walk in there again picked up by like i love kristin she wouldn't care if i said that she's about to chain smoking like probably hung over like they're they're paid to party for a living like and paid to like fight with each other like there's a reason why I'm not on the show. Like, I'm too boring for the show. So the people that actively do some of the craziest things on national television are also late to pick me up. So they pick me up. They, like,

drive me. I walk into the room and I don't know. I just thought I was meeting with the interventionist lady because, you know, my mom was, it was because my mom was still worried about me because that girl was still planting seeds. So I think it's just me, my friends know my mom was it was because my mom was still worried about me because that girl was still planting seeds so i think it's just me my friends and my mom and that's like so i walk in the room it's that girl then my sister my dad my mom oh wow everybody some other like scummy friend that's a fan or whatever and um of my reality show friends a lot of it was people that wanted to be around the proximity to those people it's nuts so so i walk in i'm like gang's all here because i was shocked i was like cool sit down then so that's immediately you know what's happening oh yeah yeah and i just knew in that moment like there's no way i'm going

to get out of this situation unless i do this and i do it for the full 30 days and then i'll get answers but again what is it this time that they're telling you you need this break from? That laundry list? That nice letter. You're too tired. Kristen said you're always tired. Stassi was just like, what was it?

I don't even know. You don't want to go out? Or you're acting different, or you just seem different, or you seem tired, or something. But why not a therapist instead of a yeah, there's a, there's took a bit of a jump. Yeah. Yeah.

And I probably would have gone to therapy, but like, yeah. So do you go away again a second time? So I go away a second time. You didn't say no. I knew. And then the interventionist kind of told me at like, she basically was like, I know there's nothing wrong with you basically pretty much, but you not getting out of this but i need this 1500 yes it's so true come on just and actually it did cost 1500 for her to drive me to the fucking improv show i

had no idea yes i found that out later my poor parents no it is a money-making scam and she wasn't that good at it either. Because the second detox facility. Got a ticket. Drive me to the improv. The second detox facility I had to go to was an all-men's house. She fucked it up. So I get dropped off.

What? Nah. It's not even a hospital. I get dropped off. Sounds like a frat house is what it sounds like. It was. It was like a dirty. I mean, it was like a California-style home. But it was like, I mean, there's people coming off drugs puking on the ground. It frat house. It was. It was like a dirty. I mean, it was like a California style home.

But it was like, I mean, there's people coming off drugs, puking on the ground. It's a house. And she didn't realize I was being dropped off into the all men's house. So my poor dad is in the car with us. We walk in. It's like $600 for me to stay there for the night. To do nothing. Blew a zero zero.

Nothing in my system. Yeah, I don't. Shouldn't they be able to release you right then and there that i think i've told i think i told that to like i've told this story to like dr drew before like not on his podcast i just saw him at a party he was like a lot of this seems kind of illegal too like i i yeah it's fishy as fuck yeah so um but whatever i have to stay there and it's there's no locks on the doors they eventually moved me to a women's house but how long were you in the men's house just for one night until the bed was ready, until I was clear.

It's always that damn bed. You've got to be ready. But there was literally, like, there was a kid that just got dropped off, like, coming off of meth, just, like, walking around, going like this, just, like, walking around. I've never seen one on meth just talking to himself. Like, he was hilarious, though. He was, like, they were, like, can you sit down, Daniel?

And he's, like, I just want to enjoy this last high. It was, like, fairly entertaining. And then he would come running. I'll be getting my 30 stars tomorrow because I'm on one right now. And then he came running down the stairs at one point. He's like, there's some good shit written on the wall up here. And I walked up, and it was, like, these, like, scribbled handwriting for people just, like, you know, live, laugh, love,

like people that were high still in there. There's a guy, there's a firefighter coming off of heroin puking on the ground. It was very, very sad and very, very jarring. But those ladies weren't even handling it correctly. They were just sort of like the women that ran the house. And I was like, well, I should help

them out with something. I'm just bored. So I was like, do you want me to help cook dinner? And they were like, no, we got Boboli on the way. I was like, I think I could make something better. Like, just bored. So I was like, do you want me to help cook dinner? And they were like, no, we got Boboli on the way. I was like, I think I could make something better. Like, you don't need to make Boboli after you just picked up his puke, and now you're going to put your hands in that. Hands on people's pizza. Yeah.

So, yeah, I hung out there for about six hours before they moved me to the women's house. Played some board games with some kids. Finally told me about what fentanyl was. I was like, why would you do that? Yeah. And they're like, what are you in for? I was like, I don't know. I'm a comedian like what are you in for i was like i don't know i'm a comedian my parents don't like that necessarily and apparently i don't like to

go out and i'm too tired yeah i don't know my podcast numbers are suffering in the southeast region of this goddamn country it's so true it was those were literally her words she was like people used to give you all five star reviews and sometimes now there's bad ones. I'm like, that's how podcasting works. That's how the internet works. Why did I kick me when I'm down? I love you, but this episode sucks. That's so ridiculous. So then I went again. I actually met some of my best friends the second time.

I stayed for the 30 days, got this cool hypnotherapy stuff. My parents and I got some like you know therapy together like counseling that was helpful yeah it was a hypnotherapy did you discover anything you didn't know uh no it was more just like you know they'd make you go back to like your childhood and like whatever and you know probably like when i was little i think figuring out like hence why like my dad they would tell me more stuff than my older sister like a lot more was maybe put on me but nothing bad like I didn't have any you know trauma like I mean my dad's stuff was trauma but that was that had been kind of worked out honestly like going to these facility was was the most trauma I've ever had in my life like there was a very

there was a period of like four months after I got, maybe six. Could be six months after I got out. So only until like the winter of last year where I was so confused and so hurt. And so like, they thought I was depressed before. I was actually probably depressed afterwards. Because I was like. The second after you got out the 30 days? Just after I got, yeah, after I got out. Because I just didn't.

Because when I was in there, they basically like, Joey, the hypnotherapist, said to my face, you're one of the most healthy, well-adjusted people I've ever met. You're like, look, man, I'm just here for the French toast. You all make bomb-ass breakfast. It was really good. And I loved going to AA meetings with other people. That was fun. But you have nothing to

share or volunteer? No, they would just go around. I'd be like, my family thinks I'm depressed. I reasonably drank two beers at a barbecue right before I got here. So, sorry. I mean, the crazy stories. I mean, that was a cool experience, though, where you, like, there'd be a normal-looking girl at an AA meeting, and she'd be like, you know, I'm just so happy I'm sober because now I don't wake up and think,

did I rob someone or shoot at someone? I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like, the stories are insane. All right, so now let's talk about the machine behind all this fucking madness so so yeah so i leave and i still think like i would say what broke me about it was i knew there was nothing wrong with me my parents and i figured that out we did all the good therapy of like okay my mom can't watch my instagram story and tell me like you seem sad because you're not wearing dresses anymore. I'm like, I'm a fucking comedian,

like knock it off. She just is very into image. So we worked all that out, but it was, I was still very confused amongst my like friend group. And so then I would just, you know, I'd ask Kristen, like we'd be hanging out. I'd say, well, Kristen, why did you think there was something so wrong with me? And then she was like, well, you were always tired and then she said and when that girl she said when that girl told me you couldn't pay your bills i really got worried i was like what she was like yeah she said she saw your bank statements and you couldn't pay your bills i'm like well that's not true at all she didn't even have passwords for that like that's not true at all also Or did she have the passwords? She was just making that up?

She wasn't stealing from you too? She had my passwords while I was at Milestones because she told my parents she was helping, but it's still not true. I mean, I had some credit card debt, but who doesn't? It's healthy to carry some debt. What? It's healthy to carry some debt. At that point, I still had somewhat of a side job,

a podcast, and I was on the road. I was making actually that point I still had like somewhat of a side job, a podcast, and I was on the road. I was making actually very good money. Like there was no – she completely made it up. Then I found out she's – This whole group of people, not one person said, oh, fucking whatever her name is over here told me this until after the second – that is amazing. No, because I think also about a lot of it too is like they all have their own lives and I think that like they weren't, we weren't hanging out like all the time and so

and then, but that girl knew how to insert herself into things so she would just feed people information so like what they tell to me now is they just assume like, well she says she's the closest person to you so we just believed her. I see. So it's like that and so like my parents don't live here so they're calling her, they're calling she's calling them. So yeah, you said she called so many times.

Like how many times? What was she? So she later. I mean, she actually admitted most of this to me. And I was like, why did you do it? She said, I don't know. I felt out of control myself. And I'm like, OK, she I don't talk to her anymore.

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. But she would say to me, you know, your mom was calling me. And other people would say, look, that's not true. She'd be over to one of my friends house helping with their website or something and she would just randomly pick up the phone and call my mom and be like well this is why I thought Rachel was weird yesterday and like fucking like I mean ran my the person that used to do my sound for my podcast or still does like he told me later because we ended up writing a script about this we got closer about it, but he ended up telling me that,

or yeah, she called me once when you toured the studio I was at. And after you left and just was like, did you notice anything weird about Rachel? Like, did you think like when you're planning that many seeds in people's head, it's like, well,

of course they're going to, you know, be like, well maybe, yeah, maybe, maybe it was weird that she decided to walk to lunch instead of drive or, you know, just like little things. It's like, it's a, yeah. Maybe it was weird that she decided to walk to lunch instead of drive. You know, just like little things.

It's like, it's a, yeah. So it's fascinating. So when did you confront her? Like when did you finally have all this information to have a face-to-face with her? I had like half of it back in the winter. But half of it sounds like enough of it. A lot of more stuff I found out later. And i just once i found out more i just don't talk to her anymore but now um what else what other things were you finding out that she went

into my podcast network when because i didn't even get to tell them i was leaving so she handled all that so she went guys if anybody ever comes in here on my behalf don't listen to what they fucking have to say if anyone is an adult is calling your parents and if you're not like saying you're going to commit suicide or you're on the street doing drugs or you're sleeping with hundreds of people that like if you're not exhibiting dangerous behavior, you don't call someone's parents as an adult. No. Like that's insane. That is insane. So yeah, she walked into my podcast network to like tell them I had to go on a hiatus and was like. And were you in the rehab yeah but I didn't find that out until because I was still friendly with some of the

people there we had went had drinks like months later and he out of the blue was like hey I just wanted to tell you I'm really sorry for um an email I sent you I was like what do you mean he goes well you I sent you an email about like kind of criticizing the way you did an ad read and um when that girl hopefully I haven't said her name, when she walked into the office to tell us you were taking time off because you were troubled or something, that she told me that she used my email to let you know that you were really not doing a good job.

And he goes, I wasn't that big of a deal to me. Like that kind of shit where just even, you know, supposed to protect someone, not walk into their network and be like, she's going away, and you were totally right about the thing you said about her there. So when do you confront her? I did, but now I just don't really speak to her. She's now a full-time assistant to one of my friends.

But doesn't your friend know what you went through? She doesn't know all the details because she doesn't really speak to me much anymore either. Oh, man. Because got she got busy and stuff but i think also has a lot to do with this this person but you never had a face-to-face with her or called her out yeah i did and what happened basically she just she just said excuses yeah she basically just said like yeah i said those things and i don't she just said she didn't know why then she said she was sorry and then she said um she goes the only thing that really bothers me that you said to me um afterwards is that uh you think that i used you to get to other people i was like well seems like

you did i was like sorry to hurt your feelings about that but yeah seems to have worked you literally did it i was the first person you met i hired you and now you sent me away and now are. Sabotaged all my shit and now you're working for somebody else I know. And you don't think you should send her an email or anything and be like, yo, just so you know. I mean, I'd like to maybe sue her. No, I'm not going to. I'm joking.

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. She doesn't work with this person. She knows. She knows. I mean, it's not up to me anymore. I don't really, I mean, you know, she knows enough and still works with her, so.

Do you have a restraining order or anything like that on her? No, because I have to see her at functions and things now. Like, it's just, it is what it is. Like, it's. That. I don't think she cares. I would not be able to see somebody that was responsible for putting me in the unnecessary rehab twice

plus ruining my income I'm with someone I work better with I mean actually everything did get better for me to be perfectly honest she wasn't helpful in my life helping in terms of my career stuff

she was definitely a gatekeeper in a bad way i didn't honestly things have gotten 100 times better and i i'm happy about it so i just i don't know like the advice my parents give me is like just hold your head up i like that kind of thing so i just it's not worth it i'm just going to talk about on a podcast because that's that's real mature but you see her often or fuck what is that like you does your blood boil it's now it's at this point it's now it's so it's like comically cruel that it kind of makes me laugh a little bit and i just find it like it well it it worked in the sense of like okay well cool now you're gonna be someone's assistant like Good for you. But you didn't take me down.

Right. And I made some wonderful friends. You put me away for about 45 days. Yeah. Best sleep in French toast I've ever had. It actually was nice. Yeah. Yoga, sound baths.

That does sound nice. Yeah, but they don't let you do anything. I used to make jokes with them. I'm like, let's just say if I just sprinted off into the woods, will you have to chase me? What would they do? They were like, Rachel, please don't joke with us like that. We'll send the dogs.

We'll send the dogs. No, but they knew. I mean, I literally left her the sheet of paper that said, sometimes she has general anxiety. I can't, like, I'm with Dr. Drew on that. that that shit i'm not a doctor by any means and that shit sounds completely illegal yeah i mean not the facility i was at i just think like a lot of the things like you you gotta check that you don't just because if i was like a less strong person i think having even think about if anyone even just let's say that you didn't even go away

let's just say you were in a room and all your friends confronted you and they're like, we don't really like what's happening with you right now. We don't like certain things. You'd be like, well, is there something wrong with me? Let alone having to go through tests and things just to determine. It always casts a little shadow of your doubt and like, am I crazy? I mean, I'm not, but it doesn't, you know. What are your anxieties?

I'm a perfectionist for sure. I just wanna be really successful and that's kind of all I think about. It drives you and motivates you and that's it. Focus, focus. So that can be kind of unhealthy. I don't watch TV really or anything. I just think about ways to be.

So that and, but I mean, I learned a lot of good coping skills from this now that i didn't have that many before meditating um it's okay to go out and walk and run yeah i was only doing it before but that kind of thing and just like i mean the hypnotherapy guy this joey guy if you ever joey tabanella the way he like can reframe something when you are bummed about something is completely life-changing. So hypnotherapy, do they hypnotize you? They do. It's not like bark like a dog type of thing.

And he doesn't always actually hypnotize you. Is it like that twilight kind of feeling where you're just about to fall asleep? Yeah, you're in it but out of it. And he can kind of do it just in conversation. So I can go back every Sunday now for Alumni Day for free therapy, which I just go to because I like it and everyone's cool. Is it group therapy? Yeah, it's group.

And everyone that's there, I love people that have gone through shit. That's why I'm kind of proud of it. That's why I do this fucking show. I love it. It's the most interesting people. I'd rather be friends with people like that than half the people i knew before like because they're interesting and they're not hiding in shame like it's like it's out there yeah they're honest yeah yes they're just better people um but yeah so group therapy so he can do like it's not even

hypnotizing it's just the way he talks to you while you're doing your therapy it does almost feel like a little bit of hypnosis, but he's just teaching you like he'll even have you, which isn't hypnotherapy, but like if you have an experience or a person or something that is just really bothering you, he can make you sort of visualize. I'll have you visualize like making them small.

Just like if you just even kind of do that. And then he's like, I'll just step over that person. Imagine they're like an aunt and then just do that. And he's like, now is it really that big of a deal right or i'll say like drain the color out of it or you know i like that drain the color out yeah it's a lot of red when you're angry and yeah totally wow that's a great story thank you i appreciate you coming on yes this is great if it

was a little roundabout no i understand now why you told it that way because that's how you discovered it you then went back to put the pieces together big oh this bitch is the one that's fueled all this madness yeah yeah but it's all i mean it's it's all good now now i got street cred i could join a gang i don't know the options are endless let's let's let's stay away from the gangs here at your mom's house i don't know if you know about the what's all i'm gonna say um will you please one more time uh anything you'd like to promote your links your social media all that stuff oh yeah you can um find tickets to my shows at rachelobryancomedy.com and rachel spelled r-a-c-h-a-e-l and then my social media is just rachel and o'brien it reads like rachel no brian and uh

yeah my podcast be here for a while. All right. Yeah. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Thank you for coming on. As always, I'm RyanSickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all social media. Talk to you all next week. Take care.