The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Rick Glassman - HoneyGlassman

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

My HoneyDew this week is comedian, Rick Glassman! (Take Your Shoes Off Podcast, Not Dead Yet) Rick Highlights the Lowlights of his A.D.H.D, O.C.D, and having to attend an alternative school because of his behavior. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Betterhelp -The HoneyDew is sponsored by BetterHelp, get 10% off your first month at https://www.Betterhelp.com/HONEYDEW Manscaped -Get 20% off and free shipping with code HONEYDEW at https://www.manscaped.com

I'm gonna tell y'all right now, nobody's got the wisdom of an old black man. So one Friday night, I come in, and John Lewis goes, Ryan, what are you doing when you get off tonight? And like I said, it could be 3 or 4 in the morning. I was like, I don't know. I'm probably just gonna smoke a joint and go to bed. What about you, John Lewis?

And he leans in, and he goes, I'm gonna fuck my wife. I was like, oh, my God. It's like that, John Lewis? I'm like, what are you, a newlywed or some shit? And he goes, no, I've been with the same woman for over 30 years. I go, holy shit. At your age, you're still fucking like that at 4 in the morning? You got to teach a young man the secret right now.

And he leans in and he goes Ryan you gotta make that pussy pop and the way he yelled pop and the way I jumped I knew I had never made a pussy pop my special lefty son drops on my youtube channel it's going up at midnight you can get it right the second it turns april 5th all right catch me on those podcasts out there promoting the special

like it comment on it share it subscribe thank you for your support the honeydew with ryan sickler welcome back to the honeydew y'all we are over here doing it in the night pan studios i'm ryan sickler ryanickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And as every week, I want to say thank you. Thank you for supporting this show. Thank you for following us. Hit subscribe on that goddamn thing.

Hit subscribe. It's a free way to help the show. As you know, we tackle tough subjects over here, and we get demonetized nonstop because of the content we talk about. So what happens is YouTube, we make no money off YouTube, and then they don't throw your episodes out into the algorithm. But if you subscribe, it's always there for you. You see what I'm saying? Also, if you've got to have more, then you've got to check out the Patreon. It's called The Honeydew With Y'all, and I highlight the lowlights with y'all.

Patreon. It's called The Honeydew With Y'all, and I highlight the lowlights with y'all. And I'm telling you, every week I say this, and I think, what the fuck are we going to hear this week that's going to be every week? We just talked to a kid who was, I said this already, in the classroom of the Michigan State shooter where two of the students died. We talked to a guy who just had a double lung transplant, and how he got the lungs made history. We've talked to people who've solved cold cases, who've died. We've talked to everybody. You guys have the wildest stories. It's $5 a month. That's it. You sign up for a year, you get over a month free. You get the honeydew a day early, you get it ad free, you get it at no additional cost, and you get audio and video. So you don't have to just watch. All right?

And if you're looking for a new podcast, check out my old one, The Crab Feast. It's an audio podcast. All the people you love from podcasting are right there on it. All right? Dates. We're slowly getting back into it after everything that fucking happened. So we're going to start in May, May 26th and 27th. I'll be in Fort Wayne, Indiana, June 23rd and 24th, Tacoma, Washington,

July 7th and 8th, Appleton, Wisconsin, and July 21st and 22nd. I'm in Tulsa, Oklahoma. All right, we're going to start there and we're going to add dates as we go. Make sure you're checking out my special on YouTube, Lefty Sun right there. Also free. All this content's free. Hit subscribe. You get it for free. All right. Now you guys know what we do over here. We highlight the lowlights, and I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. Very excited to have this guest on today. First timer on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Rick Glassman. Welcome to the Honeydew, Rick.

Thank you, young man. Absolutely. I'm realizing I don't have headphones, and I'm not sure how we're picking up over here. You want to sit up on that mic? I want to, or you want me to? You do. Both. I don't want to be back here.

I mean, listen, these are the best mics in the world, if you're right on the spot, right? Absolutely. Look, before we get too far into it, plug and promote everything Rick Glassman at the top. I'd like to plug the Rode PSA1 mic arm, which if you have it right here, you could be bringing it wherever you're sitting and you'll stay in frame. We used to have them, dude. Yeah, those are nice. They make too much noise. And I'd also like to promote wearing sunglasses so people could see you're not always a dork.

The Rode mic arm got a plug on this episode the psa one and you could follow them at we like intimate these are intimate conversations we like to lean into the trauma yeah i love a lean in i love to have an option of a lean in so i could do something like by the way did i tell you about that but if i'm here the whole time it's like appreciating the sunny days because of the rain it's all rain yeah we highlight the rain here bro yeah well it's good to be back are you comfortable yeah it's good to be back i uh i open with it's good to be back all the time um including places i've never been to well promote everything now please you know there's no you have a great podcast

a great podcast lean in take your shoes off thank you so much um that sometimes you do in your parents store is that it's not always um i have a i have a within the take your shoes off um universe we have the sleepover series the sleepover series is where I take four suitcases and I go places with it. And when I go back home to Cleveland, I do it in my dad's rug store. My family's not in carpet. I started my own carpet business.

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Well, you had to look at this to know it's called Marshall Carpet 1? No, I thought that's what it was, but you keep saying it wrong, so I thought maybe it's written wrong. Well, I don't know Marshall Carpet, so I could have been and at Marshall Carpet 1,

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And we're back. And we're back. Marshall Rug Gallery. Shout out to the Marshall Rug Gallery. Yeah, plug it, please. That's family business. Are you kidding me me we talk about all you just gave road a plug fuck and their

mic arm let's only you gave him as much love I could be sitting back and relaxing right now I'm about to get a new rug what are you talking about we'll take care of you but you'll have to sit on the rug in a certain way yeah you know Rick Glassman on Instagram and you know

that's it. All right. Shows, you know, I don't know when this comes out and what shows I'll have, but, you know, just look at my Insta. There we go. Are you doing tour dates at all? You know, I'm going to tell you something, Ryan. Ryan, I don't have a stand-up agent. And I was never really a draw to go on the road and my podcast kind of started doing

pretty well over the pandemic but i stopped doing stand-up for a while i started up again last january uh and since then it's been like people coming out it feels really cool i want to go on the road um so i'm like in the process like i think i need to get a stand-up agent but i haven't done it i'm just doing you know 20 minutes in town i need to get a stand-up agent but i haven't done it i'm just doing you know 20 minutes in town 15 to 20 in town that's what these shows are for and that's what the whole is this yeah right here but specifically right here oh sorry this um yeah the the fact that you can create a show like you have and then it gets successful and then you have this other tool in your bag of stand-up because Because a lot of people, they're podcasting.

I equate podcasting fans in a good way to D&D fans. They're very into – they don't give a fuck if you're a huge athlete or a huge celebrity. As long as you're one of the two. If you're not in the podcasting world, they don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. And I love that about them. But the other thing is some of them aren't necessarily stand-up fans. They're podcast fans.

They like the long format, whatever, not the standing up one person. They like the interaction. But you have this tool in your bag that now you can get back out and do stand up with so then you're giving people content free content every week and then they can come out and appreciate you although that's the other thing my i'm very fortunate i have great fucking fans and they say all the time like you've given us 12 years of free podcasts like the least we could do it started 12 years ago crab feast was we that was seven and a half years and you had something before that no and now this has been four years what's 12 then

well seven and a half and four and a half it's seven and a half years ago well that's when no no that's how long the podcast lasted that was the run yes this is why we need the mic arm seven and a half yeah i gotta pull closer. I couldn't hear you. A little closer. How are these switches? Are we getting these fun switches? Yeah, we're getting them. Because there's a lot of cadence between our movements right now.

This is our wide right here in case we need it. We might be living in that for a little bit. Anyway, get out there. Get an agent. Go do stand stand-up you don't need these people anymore that's what i'm saying now they need you need them to get you the gigs but before it was like just put me out there you're right you're not drawing they're giving tickets away whatever yeah but now you're selling tickets so go out there build that you've got that in your bag you're a great stand-up comedian i'm really really happy with where my stand-up is right now. Really, really happy. A bit, I don't know if nervous is the right word, but I think that's a good starting off point.

Uncomfortable maybe. Nervous about when people come out to see me and have listened to this and listened to me and heard the things I have to say, which is a good thing because they're already on board with me, sure. But I get pretty insecure about saying stuff that they've already heard, even topics. I said this to you, like what we're about to talk about. I've talked about a little bit before on the Are You Garbage podcast. I'll talk about it again. Great podcast. Great podcast.

Love those guys. I did it a long, long time ago. I want them both on this podcast, and I want to go back and do the garbage. I've met them twice. Them on mine and mine on theirs. One of the best duos I've ever seen. Yeah, they're great. They're very different.

They're so funny. I watch them. I'm so into them, and they're so nice. I think they're doing great. So sure. But I just like, like I've introduced them to my friends who may not, who don't listen to podcasts that much necessarily, like listen to these guys. They're so great. But the point I was saying is like I did a Rick Glassman and friends show and it was awesome. And like a ton of people came out and they all knew me. And, had this interesting feeling I never had before,

which is like what you work for, you work to get this for people to come see me, not just come to see comedy and I'm there. Where I felt like, I'm sorry if I'm not gonna do great. You know, like I never cared. I cared, I never let that kind of um control what i spoke on uh and now there's this thing where it's like you guys may have already heard me talk about this or something and that makes me feel a little uncomfortable does that connect with you at all

yeah it absolutely does but also like talking to burt kreischer because i said the same thing like i told this one story on my album but I don't have it anywhere on video ever it doesn't I don't own it I don't have anything should I put it in my special and he's like Ryan people who've listened to your album aren't going to see your special they don't this person doesn't watch Comedy Central this whatever so so his whole point was I've told the machine story how many goddamn times and I've put it everywhere. And then boom, turns into a goddamn summer blockbuster. So, so I hear you on.

So in my special lefty son, you can watch it on YouTube. Um, I told a story that I've told on my last album only because it was audio only nothing else that I repeat, but I love that story so much. And I felt like it worked so well. So I am,

I wasn't apologetic about including it because I know there's still so many people that haven't even fucking seen it. Also, it's different on stage. And it's better now than it was. Yes, yes. But here's the thing I want to say about you. I don't know you very well, but I know you. I've been a fan. I was a fan of yours when you were on Undateable, I believe it was.

Was it not the show you were on with everyone? Could I call you out? Yeah. I'm not gonna well yeah but well for two things one yeah it was on data but i'm not gonna call you out i want to but i call me out well it's it's it's that thing that happened not you when people like i'm a fan of you from this thing and like you know no one was a fan of me from that thing i wasn't a fan of you from that thing if i said that i i'm a fan of yours i know you did this show but i love that yeah i i wasn't i wasn't introduced to rick glassman on

undateable um i saw you in comedy before that gotcha and you're a different guy which is what stood out to me yeah was it a very eclectic group of comedians from the bro mmas to wallflowers wait where on the show or just in our business i'm talking about and you stand out to me as a different guy among different people isn't it such a you've got a harold ramis vibe to me you know i played harold ramis i do know that yeah which is what when i saw that you were cast for that, I was like, that is fucking perfect. Allison Jones. Was he gone before you? Yeah. He was. Allison Jones is a casting director who is the casting director as far as I'm concerned for comedy.

She did Golden Girls, Fresh Prince. Oh, my God. Curb Your Enthusiasm, 40-Year-Old Virgin, Superbad. Like, she does – she's amazing. And I fortunately have – she has worked with me before and cast me in things. And I had a little bit of a relationship, have a little relationship with her. And I sent her a picture of a side-by-side of me and Harold. And I said, don't audition anybody else. And I don't know if she did or she didn't, but she like walked me through it and like had me come in a couple of times.

Let's fix the voice. I got a voice coach. She like manufactured a way to make it happen i think um and i got to work with david wayne who who um i had my bulletin board directors i want to work with when i moved here it was um edgar wright and david wayne two people i always want to work with and it was him um and that was such a fucking cool experience i also knew nothing of that story do you know about that stuff? It's the origins of the National Lampoon and where Saturday Night Live came from and Caddyshack and the inception of R-rated comedy for the first time.

And it was just an awesome movie. I mean, it came out in 2017. There's no reason to really plug it. But I don't talk about it much. It's called A Futile and Stupid Gesture. And comedy fans, I think, really, really would like it. Yeah, you're a different you're a different dude and i watch your podcast and you watch podcasts yeah i watch your clips

and i watch a little bit of your podcasts for sure i started watching podcasts recently i stopped because you're just so into it i started listening to music again because i was missing i was missing music you know i'm listening to all this talk, and I'm like, shut the fuck up. You listening to comedy podcasts when you were? Yeah. Welcome back to another episode of Honeydew. My name is Rick Glassman with our host, Ryan Sickler. And if you know us, you know that we are often demonetized.

The reason is because we keep in the stuff. And if you want to support the show, you can check out our Patreon. You can sign up for 12 months. You get a month free. You get to see the episodes one day early and you get them ad-free. Also, I will be in Tulsa, Oklahoma

or you will be July 21, 22. I'm not sure, but that's pretty fucking awesome. That's pretty impressive, dude. Let's get into the show. Ryan, I wanted to talk to you about how I'm kind of a different breed. You are, dude. You know, I've been a fan of mine since Undateable. Can I actually call me out? That's not true been a fan of mine since Undateable. Can I actually call me out?

That's not true. I know you were on Undateable. Yeah. I know you've acted. It was my big break, baby. Well, I know you do a lot of different things. You do stand-up. You're an actor, as we just talked about, the Harold Ramis role.

I'm a drama actor now, too. Are you really? Oh, yeah. You're on, what's that? Why don't you say what show that is? It got canceled. It's gone. Talk about drama. It's still up there on canceled. It's called. Talk about drama.

It's still up there on Amazon. It's called As We See It. But, yeah, you know, drama. I like drama. Just keep doing what the fuck you're doing, please. Okay. You're doing it right. Go out and see these fans that watch your podcast.

They want to meet you. They want to get to know you. It's been so cool meeting people who, like, come up to me. And they don't try to shake my hand. They already know. They give me this. And like there's been a few people.

I talked about it, I think once, maybe now twice with this. I don't love an arm around picture. Not, I don't love the touching aspect because I don't know you, but that's not the, I don't, I don't, I mean, touch me. It's that's, that's not that big of a deal. I just, what am I? I don't, that's not natural. That's not a thing. I just don't like it. And people come up to me and they want to take pictures and they go like, I'll just, and I said it once,

I'll get behind you. And it's just like, there's a shorthand, like they've already accepted me, which is, uh, yeah, I don't know, man. Bobby Lee talked about this years ago when I had him on my pod the first time before I had a little bit of an audience. And it's like, yeah, and you said it too, the podcast audience is a very specific thing. So, yeah, it's just very cool. And they're diehards and so loyal. You know, the meet and greets I get to do, like, people cry. You know, they come up to you, but here's the beautiful thing. Cry why?

Because the show shows meant so much to them this this show is a different show where people reconnected with family or started therapy or whatever like we got some we're a generation of messy bros like our dad's generations were the guys that were like walk it off how old are you i'm 51 i. Yeah, you look great, dude. You look great. All right. Thank you. You look great, dude, for 22. What are you laughing at?

Because there's no way in hell you're 20 motherfucking 2. Okay. Pull that driver's license out right now. I don't want it to be on here. I'll show you after. Good point. Show me after. Speaking of a good point, I got to say you have done a wonderful job.

Did we get that on the switch? Are we in frame? The thing about podcasting that I love is that, again, these people don't know Rick Glassman's character from Undateable, and that's why they're coming to see you. They know you. I just realized that this point stuff, there's no context. It was pre-you. We'll no context it was pre you you look like the asshole not to swipe to swipe to it before we got started ryan was doing a little pale but they know you like you said they know to bump they know to fist bump already they know that

you're not about this they already know that they don't know that from joe blow on this sitcom you know so it's a it's it's a more interesting connection in your audience. What do you think about a sitcom called sitcom and the character's names are Joe Blow, yada, yada, and just doing all the sitcom device? You know what? I'm not going to talk about it. I'm going to pitch it.

Yeah, you should really pitch that. But again, getting to you being a different person in this in this art especially um are you an only child so tell me how you grew up because there's a story we're going to talk about and i'm curious because it happens early on eight nine you said no no it was eighth ninth grade eighth ninth grade oh okay uh also as i told you before i just want to acknowledge, I think I already said it. If you heard this before, I'm sure you know some new stuff. Give me a break. There's only so many words.

You know what I mean? We do this every fucking week. Calm down. Eight, ninth grade. Yeah, I grew up with one older brother, two and a half years still, actually, older than me. How old's he? He's almost, I think he's about to be 25 okay well done well done bro i know i can put you in the box and not trip you up well done um he lives out here about the really good really good i just i don't know what we're laughing at but i'm having fun Venus, motherfucker. Really good.

Really good. I don't know what we're laughing at, but I'm having fun. So good, dude. I mean, I have facial hair. It ages me up a little. Your brother is older. You guys from Ohio? Yeah, Cleveland.

Our arms are tired. And he's out here. He's a restaurateur. He's got a couple of restaurants out in Highland Park called The Greyhound. Okay. And yeah, he lives here too. I have a lot of family that lives in Los Angeles now. They came out here?

My mom's from New York, but she moved out to California when she was 11. So a lot of my mom's family is still out here. My dad's sister's out here. So it means my cousins, my brother and I and my Cleveland cousin. Shout out here um my dad's sister's out here so means my cousins my brother and i and my cleveland cousin shout out to uncle bob his son danny the replenished baby uh he lives out here so like i mean i have so much family a lot of family out here that's nice is that nice i mean you're close to everybody and yeah yeah when i first moved out here i got to stay with my aunt um for a few months like to get my my shit together while I was doing background work.

And I had another aunt and uncle who lived right by the comedy store. So when I was doing the Sunday Money Potlucks park up on Kings Drive, I had a parking pass. So it was still like a 15-minute walk down a mountain, but you don't have to pay for parking. And people would come out to those bringer shows when you first started. So it was it was fantastic. I mean, people here. So what happens in eighth, ninth grade for you where you have a shift? What is what happens?

Sure. Yeah. Also, the theme of this show is like talking about the high highs or excuse me, the low lows. I don't want to define this as the lowest of lows necessarily. It's just something that I'm comfortable. I mean, whatever. That's irrelevant. But like this is just something that there's some meat in it and worth talking about.

But like when you're talking about people who all the shit you talked about at the beginning and what the stuff they went through. And I'm like, I had to go to a special school. Listen, you can't compare trauma. Right. Trauma is trauma. I tell people that people are worried about writing into that show because like I can't compare trauma right well trauma's trauma doesn't i tell people the people are worried about writing into that show because like i can't compete with that i'm like we're not here to compete your story's your story um my brother is a brilliant guy uh literally

as of last year a jeopardy champion now well he went on jeopardy and won yeah no shit did he really for i mean how so what's a champion how many you gotta win so he won he only won one this is the second one he was it almost it's felt like like in white man can't jump when she's going through quiche and all the things like he was he was literally almost double the person the middle person i'm really impressed that you know that movie for only being 22 that That's impressive. I'm a huge Spike Lee fan. Spike Lee. I love get on the bus.

I love get on the bus. He was so, he was bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And then just the final Jeopardy question he missed. And the person, he was literally almost double ahead. So he couldn't have to bet anything. We were so bummed. I say we, I person, he was literally almost double ahead. So he couldn't have to bet anything. We were so bummed. I say we, I mean, he was, I mean, it's been his dream forever. I just, you watch Jeopardy with him.

And so it's like, why are you not on it? He knows everything. And we're bummed that he, because if he, he could have gone for so long. He missed one question. Anyway, I say this because my brother growing up was always the smart one. And also maybe a little difficult. And high school for us started in eighth grade. Eighth through 12th was the school.

So it's still not high school, but it's in that same big building. So you have these little kids who are in eighth grade coming in, not in high school, but still sharing the hallways with all the older kids and i remember my introduction into i always was in like you know some like kind of like learning disabled classes and and uh uh some other things maybe we'll get into just like a little special like oh why don't you try going to work with these kids for a little type of stuff and why were you did you struggle with math or were you just not interested with add or i was diagnosed with that i don't know if that is what it is or not add and then adhd and like trying this medication and this and just like they were trying to figure out just like

i was a kid who was you know didn't fit in and didn't wasn't paying attention um even when i was younger like i was getting my I was, my dad coached all like the little league and the basketball, my brother was an athlete and tried to get me into doing stuff. And I was just sitting in the outfield, like playing in the dirt. Like I just wasn't paying attention to things, you know? So I come in and I don't think I have a reputation of this yet, but my brother's had a little bit of a reputation for him being, again, I'll call it difficult because I'm remembering it through my eyes as a kid. I don't know, but he was in a different kind of tough than me. Very smart, but also whatever tough is, I wasn't in class with

him. I don't know. But I do remember I was intimidated to go to this big school, right? I'm close enough with my brother, but not to where like, he's going to like, put his arm around me and be like, hey, if anyone hurts Rick, you know, I'm gonna eat your ass or whatever you would do to protect your kin. But one of the first days, the first week of school, there was a class, and I'm remembering this, maybe I'm a little off, this is how I remember it. But a teacher, it's not gonna, it's not as aggressive as it sounds oh push me up against the lockers um it wasn't like he slammed me it was more just like hey come here for a second you know and like um if you've i don't remember what he said but like like something about me fucking around if i'm anything like my brother he's gonna blah

blah blah blah whatever that is like hey i know your brother and you better i don't know what my brother did if my brother was wrong and anything i just and from the beginning i had kind of like this the way i remember it mark on my back like i'm i'm a glassman you know i'm a smart ass uh and i was my own kind of thing i'm sure too but from the beginning eighth grade was always a bit of a what's going on here i felt overwhelmed what's going on that's i would feel overwhelmed eighth grade among guys that have beards and shit walking the hallways at 12th grade and stuff they're driving like that's that is weird to mix that young group of kids i mean it's eight years ago but it still feels yeah you know like kind of recently yeah i imagine i mean listen high

school has been forever ago for me and it's still sits right there. That'll stay with you. Yeah, 33 years for you, right? Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Anyway, so I'm in eighth grade, and I'm getting thrown against lockers by teachers. By the teacher, yeah. I have no friends. I've already, so bar mitzvahs are still going on. They start in seventh grade, they're still seven and eight. I grew up, shocker, a lot of Jews. Edit that out. Look at mine. Cleveland has a lot of Jews in Cleveland? Yeah, Northeast Ohio is, I grew up in a very diverse area. A lot of Jews, a lot of black people, a lot of Asian people. I don't know what kind of Asian. I don't know if I could admit that, but just a lot of that.

And then there were some Christian people. But it was very like it was just a very diverse area. And Jewish people, a lot of Jewish people. So there's just a lot of bar mitzvahs. Like 60 bar mitzvahs maybe. 60 bar mitzvahs, maybe.

I made that number up, but like probably. So it's a thing. Every week there's a bar mitzvah. Sometimes there's two. And seventh grade it started, I was, I talk about this on stage sometimes, but like I was always very scared of girls. I never really knew how people felt about me.

And I always assumed they feel about me however I feel about me. And I felt insecure about it. So I knew everyone knew whatever I was thinking. And I was scared. And Bar Mitzvah's girls would ask me to slow dance. And I was too scared. So I always would make an excuse. Oftentimes my mom's picking me up.

I can't. And then I would go outside for a few minutes and be like, where the fuck is she? Because I thought they were going to be watching me. Is his mom really picking him up? And then toward the end of seventh grade, definitely eighth grade, girls stopped asking me to dance. Coincidence, maybe. So now I'm in this new school. I'm going to bar mitzvahs.

I'm feeling a little, not just the dance thing. It's kind of a microcosm of just like, I was invited. I even felt like, oh, I'm invited to that. They probably had to invite me. Their moms. Yeah. I mean, you know, that was like the mindset of me. But do you get along with your brother at the time?

Are you guys close? Can you share things with him about these insecurities in school? No. I like a lot of brothers that I've heard of the i love my brother he loves me um and i don't mean that superficially like i know that like if i needed to i guess i could have uh i definitely know that now but it was a pretty contentious relationship the way i remember it growing up like he was uh again he was very smart and i would be asking him questions and he would like, whatever.

I don't want to be mean about it, but we were kids, you know, but like I was scared of him. You know, he beat the shit out of me and like talked down to me in a way that brothers do. And again, I'm sure I was annoying to him. I don't know what his take on it was. I just know that as a kid, I was scared of my brother. So no. I was scared of my brother. So no. While also looking up to him, you know, like he was popular and he played sports and he was funny and smart and girls would come over our house like when he would have like little parties kind of. But in eighth grade, I'm feeling unincluded enough.

It wasn't like I was so sad and no one likes me. I just, I wasn't like, I didn't have a community. I didn't feel like I had a community. And I don't even know if I knew that then. And teachers even, like, or like, like don't, and I'm in this, I'm in like, like whatever the learning disabled study hall version would be. And things kept going, like, I kept getting kind of in trouble um being annoying talking when i shouldn't be uh not doing my homework right the stuff that i'm sure 85% of comedians would tell you um but then i was in this class this study hall class and then they

brought me to and i still don't quite understand what it's called but the way i think of it is like there's the learning disabled study hall and then there's the the the one for like he's too disabled for this one you know so they put me in this other class which i don't know what this is i've talked about this with people before they don't have experience with this it was this special class with kids that there was like five kids in there um it was weird like they they they do you have questions am i just talking too much i do have a question one question is what what is the first learning disability class you're just because you're add and acting

out and stuff like it's trouble but what is it you're not getting or at least for them in this what are you being taught a certain curriculum in this class no it's just a study instead of going to study hall with right with 50 other kids or 20 other kids whatever um i would probably my guess is they thought i was going to disrupt them okay because that's what i'm saying like how can you be too dumb for a study hall yeah yeah it's not It's not – I think you call them learning disabled so you don't call them bad kids. I see. Because they're not bad kids. There is a learning disability.

Whatever it is, call it a disability, but it's all relative. But it's not that this kid's not getting what we're teaching. Yeah, probably. It's that this kid's – but disrupting is going to be a thing. Yeah, and that's why I'm not getting it, and that's why I'm keeping them from getting it. So now you're going from this class that you're disrupting these kids who could get it, and they're moving you to another class. Which I think was already by default because I'm sure there was stuff going on in seventh grade and before. It's like Ricky's a little, as you would say, you have your wallflowers and your bad boys, and then you have just the guy that annoys everybody.

What did you like about doing that? I didn't know I was doing it. You really didn't know i'm bored baby i want to play right you know i don't care i didn't have the tools but you didn't have a friend that you were fucking around with this is all you by yourself i'm sure i was fucking around with people and probably i don't remember but i have to imagine if anybody wanted to play with me i'm going to prioritize that you know know, like, you know, doing jokes. Remember the penis game? Remember that game?

No. You would say penis. And then it's your time. And the next person has to say penis a little louder. I know. We never got. That's good. Penis.

You know, you do that stuff, you know? And you're doing that. I got friends. Yeah, that kind of shit. No, we never played the penis game but i like that a lot comment if you know the penis game i feel like people know about that and you start off you start you don't even have to say the game because you know you just go like this like you'd be over there so you want to be the first person or the last yeah you just go like this penis and now you're gonna be like fuck penis um but yeah it's just uh

you get in trouble a couple times i think they go it's a public school they go put them in this put them in this thing i would have loved you in my class dude i have a lot of uh empathy for young me looking back for how much i've thought about like oh i was so annoying all the things and just like man what a man, what a cute kid. What a cute kid to just, all I wanted to do was connect with people. And the only way I knew how to do that was, I talked about this on my pod,

but like I never knew what people were thinking. I always knew laughs. Bingo. Always knew laughs. An hour of getting somebody to laugh. Always knew it and believed it. Somebody who'd make my brother laugh when we were fighting or my parents when I'm in trouble. It does something.

It means something. So that was like the way to connect. So I'm in – I'm obviously being too disruptive to the other kids that are mildly disruptive. So they put me in this other class where I'm in a – I started being in there for like one period and then it got to the point where I'm in there the whole school day. So I don't go to any classes. I don't really know what's happening. I'll attribute that to just me being – it was eight years ago. I don't remember exactly.

But like me being a young kid and eight years ago when I – whatever. kid and uh eight years ago when i when i uh whatever um so i mean your diploma was probably still on the wall and i was only a few years ago yeah i still on the wall at home um wait are they telling you my diploma dude are they telling your parents that they're yes i'm in trouble i've talked about this on my pod once and we call my mom she's so funny about it she my mom is my mom is still mad at some kids that maybe you know that maybe called me a name when i was in fifth grade like she is team rick fuck those people i'm gonna come to that school board and fucking run over that superintendent you know like that kind of shit and um but i also don't know everything that's happening they were tracking me um

i didn't know this but like writing things down like what rick is doing and and i found out toward the end of eighth grade that like they were saying that i stabbed myself you remember do you remember you used to put uh safety pins or thumbtacks through yeah through the dead skin in your fingertips i did that all the time it was the you know the late 2000 2000s and uh some other shit that they would say that never happened i burned myself with cigarettes and i was dangerous and i never smoked a cigarette my life still um so like i had all these things that they were saying about me that i couldn't really defend because i didn't even know that it was that was happening um they put

me in a i'm in this class all day what episode i talked about this um uh i had bill burr on not too long ago and i referenced this one thing i'm about to say and now people are commenting this all i it's really funny so maybe it's worth getting into it more i uh i'm getting i feel like I'm just talking too much now. You're not. Are you kidding me? Okay. So, you're in this class. I'm in this class all day, and I'm not.

How many other kids are in there? Still five or whatever? Maybe four or five. None of them for my grade. None of them that I knew. Oh, really? No. None of them that I knew, that I can remember.

None of them that I knew. Are you talking to them? Why are you in here? Any of that shit? Yeah, it's like, what'd you do yeah no no it's just i didn't really get it i'm just like you got to be in here i'm like all right i didn't really get it i knew i didn't like it um i knew that i now wasn't going to any other classes and you with the same teacher all day same teacher all day there was her and then there was another like sub teacher right like sub meaning like the assistant teacher or whatever.

And are they rotating through subjects? Like we're doing a little math now. Kind of, but no, they're not teaching me. We're sitting there the whole day. And now from this period, they give me this history book. And so now I'm just supposed to read it. And then this period, I'm supposed to read this book. I don't-

They're teaching you nothing. Yeah, I'm not. They're keeping you busy. Yeah, they're keeping me away from the people that are getting what they need to get out of the school and i'm also you know i'm not sitting there you know like please sir may i have some soup you know i'm like i'm you know i'm so fucking idiot you know just like walking around the class and asking the kid that's probably 23 to buy me a Playboy. 23.

He's a year older than you back then. It's weird. I thought about that recently. Like, I'm almost Kevin's age. Kevin's age. I was being so annoying to them that I'm in a desk, like a classic desk. There's enough room. There's a table there.

But they put blue tape around it and said I'm not allowed to step foot out of it yeah so i would give you a perimeter for a whole day for you know seven hours so when you say you can't put your foot out i'm like all right so i i'm on my knees walking around the classroom they hated you little did they know that i would soon be on an abc show about a woman who writes obituaries for dead people not dead yet abc wednesdays at 9 30 isn't it dead though it's dead though isn't it um i hated you why i don't know i'm every well hold on this is starts in eighth grade this is still eighth grade still eighth grade yeah and it's the whole year now um yeah yeah are you you're not going home and saying mom dad what the fuck they got me in this room yeah i hate it and they're like yeah

well you know so i i'm under the impression that just just like you know like this is just something this isn't a permanent thing i i don't i don't remember i don't remember um i also don't know if i did ever know i'm just like this is what i'm told i'm supposed to do and my my mom's going in and talking to the principal in school like this is what rick has to do it's like all right um before i was in that class the whole day it was i'm in that class one period. And then like, I'm in it for half. And then I get to go to some classes. There was a class, and this is the story I told to, or the story I'm about to tell is part of what I told with Bill, which is, I remember I

was in class. It was an English class. I think it was an English class. It doesn't matter. I'm in class and they team us up. So like, there's no's no like we're paying attention to the teacher it's kind of a very loose free-for-all you know like the teacher's at her desk doing a thing and we're like we're working on the thing they're working it's like there's talking going on it's it's a it's a a fun class and if i remember correctly i didn't ask to use the bathroom i think i just went to the bathroom and uh not to not to smoke a cigarette or get blown i just went to take a piss and i'm walking back and while i'm walking back um before i you're walking and the class is here so i can't see it but i could hear the teacher is losing it

yelling ricky's on the loose ricky's on the loose ricky's on the loose on the loose dude and i i remember this I remember thinking as a as a as a eighth grader I remember thinking Ricky's on the loose what the fuck are you talking about

I didn't recognize that oh they think I'm an animal I just be like what is what are you talking about and I you know I'm not ah

yeah right I just went to the bathroom probably washed my hands a good amount of time and I walked in and Ricky's on the loose what are you and after that I i wasn't alone

classing where i had to go back now i'm all day in the thing and i still had for for a little bit uh he's a friend of mine now maybe he was then but he for years he would say ricky's on the loose to me and i always thought it was funny it wasn't like it wasn't yeah it was just like oh fuck remember that ricky's on the loose um so now i'm in this class the whole day i don't get to go on the washington where you from baltimore did you guys go to washington in eighth grade dc yeah oh yeah every grade yeah every grade we went from midwest on over everyone goes to dc in eighth grade that's like the eighth grade trip uh i didn't get to go and i remember i was really sad i didn't get to go because like I remember I was really sad. I didn't get to go because like, I wanted to go. I wanted to be part of this thing. I remember, I never, I don't remember

questioning why I'm in this class, what's going on, but I do remember, please, please, please, can I go on this trip? I remember asking this to my teachers. I remember asking this to my mom to talk to the teachers, to the principal, all the, like, I really, really, really, really want to go. I also was going to be embarrassed. Like when people said, why aren't you there for me to be like, I'm, I'm on the loose, you know, like, what am I going to say? like when people said why aren't you there for me to be like i'm i'm on the loose you know like what am i going to say so i'm just like embarrassed and and already wasn't included so now i'm like i'm not i'm literally not even around the people to get the organic like what's up um and at the end of eighth grade, I don't remember if they said this to me or my mom or both, but I had an ultimatum. So now ninth grade is starting.

I'm going to be in this class. How do I get out of this class? How do I get to have a school experience? I said, you could either stay in this class or you could go to this other school, PEP, Positive Education Program. Or you could go to this other school, PEP, Positive Education Program. And then if you go to this school for however long you go to, then we'll decide. Basically, the only way out is through. You have to go through PEP before you can come back to regular school. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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but there was a teacher that was like in charge of like i don't know i just remember he was a just a big dude and like whenever i went to the bathroom he walked me. And he would... No, no, I'm being serious. You better not be, dude. You better not be, dude. I don't need to talk about it. We need to report this class to school.

I don't need to talk about it. It doesn't matter. We need to report this class to school. No, he would... He walked me into the... Bathroom and... When I was trying to take a shit, he would go, Rick, you trying to take a shit he would go are you trying to take a poopy

no no basics were how far is it where I'm not making a joke about this thing as opposed to doing a performance you know I felt no but he would walk me to the bathroom like not in but like because are they worried I don't know I don't know but did you ever do that did you ever leave the school or anything like why i wasn't a bad kid i was an annoying kid also fair

enough weird not fair to even say because what defines bad i guess that is i i wasn't i wasn't breaking things i wasn't i wasn't hurting people um but i think they were like well we don't know i've had friends describe me as a loose cannon, like they didn't want me to feature for them, you know, and I was as an adult. So, you know, I'm sure these teachers like we don't know what the fuck this kid's going to do. Before I did anything, one of them's throwing me up against the locker and don't be like your brother. You didn't even you got two steps. The Jeopardy champion. Most likely to win Jeopardy.

Don't be like him. But there was one time I can remember, and I don't think it's that big of a, could you hear me? Where I'm walking to the bathroom and I had a book and I'm like throwing it up in the air and catching it. And I did throw it up in the air and it went a little forward. And I think it landed on his head or his shoulder or something. Who, a kid? The guy that was responsible for walking me to the bathroom. Oh, shit. And I remember they thought, and I get it. Like, here's this kid. I'm like, it was an accident. But it was. He's like, he's throwing books at me. Like, he stabs himself. So I had tough actin' to actin' for athlete's foot. You turn it upside down like it upside down like canned air stuff comes out you did on your hand you see this mark and then it goes away

it doesn't hurt yeah uh i had a little circle on my hand the next day and they i never knew this until after they said i'm burning myself with cigarettes i'm stabbing myself i'm throwing books at teachers ricky's on the loose so they're creating a narrative about this kid who's just annoying but yeah now all of a sudden you're causing harm to yourself. And others. Yes, and others. You're hitting people with books. And I'm sure if anybody was like, well, let's take a look at this.

They go in the room and I'm on my knees like, I'm not touching the floor with my feet. It's not helping my case. Inside your blue tape. Okay. So like, all right pep it is pep it is this now ninth grade yeah so ninth grade starts and i got my ear pierced you know i'm a bad boy do we have a stud are we dangling what are we doing ninth grade stud yeah okay i mean i don't know i guess you're from the 80s but we didn't do dangling stuff that this is 70s bro really 73 this is when like the office is out you know and british no america oh okay this is 2000 you know okay just checking dates here just checking um i guess technically it was 95 or 2015 um but i got into the office late okay we're in pep now yeah ninth grade so that's 2016 and how does that differ than

what you were in the eighth grade class are you still taped you don't know about pep no i don't know about dude listen i'll be honest i would walk by those classes and look in and see five kids. One would be in a wheelchair, and I'd wonder why the other four were even in there. Yeah, well, two of them are chewing on the other one's feet, but yeah. Yeah, I used to walk by those classes. This is pep? Yeah, this is a school for it, not the class. This is a school.

So you're no longer. I'm not going to my school. I'm getting bused to Euclid. Okay, wow. All right. This is a place. Which is when you go to Cleveland to do hilarities, I'm sure you could drive school. I'm getting bused to Euclid. Okay, wow. All right. This is a place. Which is when you go to Cleveland to do hilarities, I'm sure you could drive.

It's right around there. I'm not at my hometown. Euclid's great, by the way. It just happened to be where it is. I think it was there. Can we talk about that for a little? No, no. So now I'm going to this school and I'm like,

all right, so eighth grade, I go into this new school, I'm nervous. Ninth grade, I'm doing it again. But I also am like, what's happening? I remember feeling like, what's happening? What am I doing? I felt this feeling many times in my life. What's not matching up with what my intentions are and what's going on in my head with the world around me? What the fuck is happening?

Why am I here? It also scared me. It also scared me for two reasons. One, I don't want to have to stay here. And two, I was scared in this school with these kids that I was also typecasting as bad kids. Good point. I just remember thinking, ultimately, I ended up making friends with some of these kids. But when you first go in, it's like, you know, if Mr. Cotter were rated R, is that your time?

Yes, it is. It's like, fuck you, teach! You know, that kind of stuff. Like, that stuff is happening. People are saying that shit. Really? They were like that? Oh, yeah.

It was on the first floor, but still, kids were trying to escape. They were going out the window. They were on the loose. They were on the loose. Ricky's sitting still. I'm not on the loose. I don't need tape. I'm right here.

But also, you don't know going into the school, like, what do I need to do to get out of here and back to the regular school? I knew be good. That's it. Yeah. But you don't know if you're there for the whole year a semester you know or until i graduate no because fuck so at first i thought i'll go here for a little and then i'll be out but then when i'm in there for a little bit i'm seeing like oh these kids like these kids have been here for years like this is just like you know this is what this is the school now and i knew to be good and why didn't i know to be good before i don't exist classroom now you're regular classroom size oh i mean it's a full school it's um it's it's just a different school oh shit so there's all it's not just a room no no it's it's a

different school where there's a whole bunch of classrooms for all the different ages all the different grades it's just kind of like um it's stranger things it's just a different school now it's just this is where you know the demigods grow up got it um am i using that word right yeah is it demigod um you're asking the wrong dude right um so i'm in class it's like a it's a regular class you know 15 kids in there you got it but you got a teacher you got the assistant teacher and you got your restrainer the restrainer is there for when kids are jumping out the window and going to beat up the teacher or the other kids or something. You go to the bathroom, there's oftentimes somebody running down the hallway and a teacher tackling them. And then you're just, oh, you know.

And it wasn't weird after a little bit. It really wasn't. Like, you go to the bathroom, you go, oh. This kid getting tackled. Get the fuck off me. Teach. You know what I'm just remembering, dude? That's your school.

I'm just remembering. And it really became a norm soon. It's interesting. You know, it's not mob mentality, but that same psychology of like when you're, when something is unusual, it's unusual. But when it becomes the status quo, it is what it is and you adapt quickly. And there's so many things that are shocking to us. And this is something I learned when I came into some self-awareness maybe six or so years ago, which was my behavior,

your behavior, the world around us that scares us or makes us confused or uncomfortable oftentimes isn't the issue. It's that it didn't meet our expectations, oftentimes our subconscious expectations. So we're kind of shut off. But once it's like, this is what it is, it's like, oh, this is what it is. And I think a big tool set of learning to adapt is to accept the fact that this thing isn't always a problem. You just have to recognize, thing isn't always a problem you just have to recognize oftentimes it could be but just like what it is and and i did adapt quickly to this world for a couple reasons one it i knew this it felt like the eighth grade before it's like it was all building up to this it wasn't out of nowhere um and two uh i got kind of scared straight like you don't want to be silly you're

silly when you want to connect with people you don't if you don't want to be silly. You're silly when you want to connect with people. If you don't want to do that, if you don't, like, so I shut down. You know, I was just like this. And I am remembering a time because I was thinking about the hallway. I don't think I've ever told this story, maybe. But I had real bad obsessive compulsive disorder as a kid. And it comes in and out time to time. One thing that translates over that I think people even without OCD could connect to is

you don't want to sit on a public toilet seat. You wipe it down, you fold a whole bunch of stuff, you squat, whatever your thing is. But I remember I went to the bathroom and either I didn't have time or I didn't want to put the toilet down or whatever. And I shit and missed the toilet and got, um, on my pants. So I'm now in this special school shitting my pants,

you know, like if you're in prison and you shit your pants, like the bitch. So I remember, I remember I shit in my pants, by the way, while my pants are down, you know, it's not like, it's like, it's the way, while my pants are down.

You know? Yeah. It's not like – it's like just – I just missed. Yeah. So I'm not an athlete. And I remember like – I remember talking to myself. The most adult I'd ever been at this point was when I shit in my pants and I go, Rick, here's what we're going to do. You know, I went back in time and I'm talking to him now.

Here's what we're going to do. We're going to go to the office. We're going to call mom. We're going to say, mom, bring me some pants. I'm going to go back to the bathroom. I'm going to wait an hour. And I did that. And I remember walking down the hallway, dodging kids getting tackled, just hoping they don't see the back of my pants.

Yeah, shitty. Hey, mom, I pooped my... Also, poor my mom, who had to deal with... My kid's not bad, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then it's like, hey, mom, I pooped my pants. I'm 14, by the way. I'm not nine. Kids are literally getting blown, my friend.

Kids are getting blown pre-ninth grade. And I'm dodging the tackled kids. So my mom brought me some pants. And yeah, so I'm in the school. And yeah, I'm really grateful for it i it's i started playing basketball because of it because they're like you want to play basketball and like i'm in my khakis and whatever but like yeah i played basketball and and then when i got to go back to school i remember my buddy tim said do you play basketball and i said yes because i played four times over at pep um

and that like it changed my life basketball changed my life um how i i i was part of a community which the only time i experienced that before this was uh playing magic the gathering where every friday nights i would go down to the card store and it would find that magic so like there was a group of people i was with every week, but I wasn't friends with them. I didn't feel like I was friends with them, but I always had a place to go. So there was this community of people that played magic. They weren't my friends though. This was a community where like, we all have a common goal. We all like this thing. You know, if I do well, you do well. We're rooting for each other. It's competitive. It lets you lets you get like i was um i was a kid that

that i that people didn't want to come over because i always thought my brother they were scared of my brother because my brother's very aggressive but i didn't consider the fact that i'm also like forcing them to choreograph lightsaber fights and wrestling and boxing my brother got boxing gloves because we're big in iraqi and I'm like you want to box and like no I'm like this is box like I would make them box me so like I was very aggressive and wanting to fight not fight but you know what I mean like wrestle and and just get aggression out and be physical and basketball offered that um prior to that you had never played any rec sports but I wasn't interested you know know, I wasn't interested. I liked magic.

I played the piano. The only thing I could think of classes was taking dance class at the JCC for a year in seventh grade. Yeah, like the Jews would go and so you could learn the Cotton Eye Joe and the, you know, whatever the things were. You know, a lot of Drake was coming out at that time. You motherfucker. There was a lot of Drake. I was about to ask what you were dancing. Undateable had just gotten canceled.

Which, who was more undateable than this guy? I'm shitting my pants at Pat. So I wasn't good at basketball but like I have friends I stayed after school and I wanted to be I loved it I loved it

and I wanted to get good at it I remember doing layup lines I remember this intimately because like I remember thinking back oh look how far I've come layup lines are just a warm up thing you have people on the left,

you have people on the right, people on the right, you go, you do a layup on the left, they get the rebound, they pass to the person on the right. So you're practicing outlet passes, driving to the hoop. Then when you have to go to the left side, I was so scared because I couldn't make a left-handed layup. And you would do it and you would do it and you'd shoot and look back to see if you made it like, please, please don't miss this. Like, like it mattered. It's like a new look back to see if you made like please please don't miss this like like it mattered it's like a new school i'm in where it's like don't fuck up so like i have this new tool where i knew that i could fuck up and that's yeah tell me And I also had the luxury of having a very loving family,

very supportive parents applauding me, how funny I am, how great I am, play the piano for me. I would do interpretive dance for my mom. And she's like,

I want to see, you know, it's a Jewish mom who just loves her boy. I'm the best. I thought I was. And I'm glad i thought i was because it uh what's the difference between thinking you're the best and you suck but also thank god you had that at home because your entire fucking educational system is trying to push you down and

tell you you aren't shit and you're a problem and you should be over here you're this weird outlier and we don't know what to do with you but you got unconditional love at you should be over here you're this weird outlier and we don't know what to do with you but you got unconditional love at home so thank god could you imagine if your parents thought about that the same way as the teachers how much that gotta fuck you up because i knew the school was wrong whether i was right or not at the time i knew it i'm awesome i'm a great kid so them telling me what I am couldn't change my identity. Good. But because what I had at home.

So the opposite, even if you're great and you're doing great, but your people at home are telling you you're not. And that's your identity. I mean, I've thought about I could get emotional about it now. It's like how much it fucking sucks. The cards that people are dealt where like you're told who you are before you figure it out and how much work it is to like kind of change that i talk about on stage now sometimes well said i'm a i'm a jewish democrat because my parents are so like yeah i don't know i guess that's what i am i don't i don't know and i've talked about how like you have to know so much to change the way you see things from a

kid like ari shafir grew up up super Jewish super the only the only people who aren't Jewish anymore almost became a rabbi like you have to learn so much to decide maybe this isn't for me most of the time just as efficient whatever I'm yeah I'll vote for Biden I don't know I don't know anything dude me either but like I am no it's our identities it's it's you know I culturally I'm Jewish more than i am of like needing to know like what to do on passover it's just yeah i'm jewish i got you know i got arthritis and i'm funny you know it comes with the territory 22 and arthritis um that's early that's early onset arthritis i have i did get arthritis very early um and whatever you're

laughing at just also know that is true i got arthritis very early. And whenever you're laughing at, just also know that is true. I got arthritis very early. Whenever, whenever universe are staying alive. I don't know what the fuck to believe. But no, I've had, I've had shoulder surgery, elbow surgery,

triple hernia surgery. From the arthritis? Boy, are my arms tired. Yeah. Why hernia surgery from arthritis? Well, the,

no, no, just saying just like, I got a Jewish body. Got it. You know, these are your list of ailments. I just think they made me stronger.

And so wait, what were we talking about? Talking about how? Oh, the identities. Yeah, yeah. So I think I'm great. And then I find out that even if I think I'm great, I'm still getting in trouble. What's going on? And in basketball, I now want something. At the time, I thought that I want to make the JV team.

But looking back is I wanted to be able to keep playing with kids. I wanted to keep, I wanted to develop friendships. I wanted to be part of something. I loved being part of something. I still love being part of something. Stand-up is the same thing thing I fell in love with stand up because look what we all get I never thought of stand up as a lonely isolated thing I still don't

I also don't tour that much on my own it's not an isolated thing look at this this isn't stand up it's comedy it's, yes, it is. It's comedy. It's stand-up. It's not.

May I tell you my experiences? Sure. I moved to, and then we'll go back if there's time and you want to hear more, but I moved to Los Angeles with a skill set, basketball. I find out about Comedy Store has a basketball team. There's Ren Azeezy and Matt Nost and Ari Shafir and, and all these guys who are like, I've been doing comedy for a while who were playing basketball and I get to come in and I'm like,

I'm a new comedian. They don't know me, but like I'm a pretty good basketball player. So now I have peers. I'm going to the comedy store on Sundays. Uh, we're trying to get on potluck. Maybe I do.

Maybe I don't. If I don't, you wait for three hours. I'm sitting there with Santino, with Brady Matthews, with Brian Moses. We're just doing this where I'm hanging out. Melissa Villasenor, Sandy Danto, Benji Aflalo, like all these people that like we would go and go to diners or sit and try to get up or complain about not getting up or you go to io open mic it was this it was friends i wasn't going driving to the comedy store parking up at my aunt and uncle's place to walk down because like i gotta fucking work on this three minutes i was you know i was i was going because like who's gonna be there i

remember i remember i all i did was play basketball from ninth grade on all my free time. Yes, I did on my own and I would like, well, I'd want to sell the cones. I would do that stuff because if I had to, but I remember that the local JCC is, is where we would go if we couldn't get into the school. And I remember that feeling of going, I remember the feeling of going and parking and holding my indoor shoes and walking fast like who's here it wasn't about playing it's who's here friends it's always about friends um and in comedy more specifically than friends or in addition to friends it's also about collaboration it's also like playing and doing and wrestling you know. Oh, I do agree with that, yes.

So yeah, I don't think of standup as lonely and isolating. That three minutes I'm on stage, I don't even think that way. Because for starting out, you want to make your friends in the back laugh. It's friendship, man. Like it's, I'm feeling myself getting like a little emotional about it now.

Because like, what's better than laughing with people? And more specifically, when you're not laughing with people, you don't have them. And I know logically that's not true anymore. I used to think that. I better be funny. That's also where I felt my value was and where I was too much. Me too. It's like, got to be funny.

I want these people to like me, so I better be funny. Tell me more about that. I just mean, you know, it took me a long time to get to this point where I could sit with people and have real human conversations because all I wanted to do was make you laugh. I'm not a, I'm not really an, among the comedy world, I wouldn't consider myself an extrovert. I never really hung out at the clubs or anything. I always felt like I could be doing something else or should be working harder. Instead of hanging here, I should be home writing and getting better or whatever it was. But it was also an excuse not to have to be around people where I didn't feel comfortable all the time.

Then how are you trying to make them laugh? That kind of contradicts that. Well, making an audience of strangers laugh is different than making our peers laugh. You got to sit there and talk and have conversation with these people and try to make them laugh in this conversation versus a captive audience who, well, these days with TikTok, they're all talking back, but sits there and listens to what you have to say and you command a room. There's a different way of making those people laugh. That's almost- But that's all about your value are you just saying your value as a stand-up

comedian they're not as a human no i mean i just always thought that one of the things that i had as a value was being able to make people laugh at their worst times at their best times it just was something i felt like well if there's nothing i can bring to this situation i can probably make you laugh what's the con of that what What do you mean? As in pros and cons. What's the problem with that? Well, the problem with that is I always don't feel comfortable doing that. And I never felt like I felt fit in somewhere. But this is just when you're on stage.

No, this is in comedy in general. Because you said, but you're not, I'm just confused because you said you're not hanging out. You're not doing this with people. Yeah, I didn't. So then how are you what i'm confused then about what for me my value is as a person like that's why i would do it to all the people and be annoying and like need always be on but you're saying you weren't that but i knew i had this

thing because i would it would be like that seems healthy i don't know if it is. I hear what you're saying, but I'll give you an example. My friend's sister was dying in the hospital when we were in high school, and she and a good friend of ours were in a car accident. They passed away. I'm not on a stage. I'm not hanging around a bunch of comedians, but we're in a hospital waiting room, and I'm making people laugh, and I'm making them feel good. So that's what I mean. There's a scenario there where it's the toughest thing you could have to go through and it's not a stage. It's not a bunch of comedians trying to make each other laugh. I'm realizing

that I have this superpower. I was about not, yes, I realized that I have this thing and I don't always feel good using it. You know what I mean? Like it's conflicting to me until I get into this world of comedians and then I'm like, okay, but i still don't feel like it took me 20 years to become a regular at the comedy store i could you get me in you were talking to the right lady bro you were talking to the right lady i got merch uh i was uh i have merch um let me pull it up he's got merch yeah for real um but also keep talking unless you think it's rude i put this up but I have merch. Let me pull it up. He's got merch. Yeah, for real. Also, keep talking unless you think it's rude

when I put this up. No, it's fine. But could you give an example of, I get it when you're in the hospital and you don't feel comfortable necessarily using it, even though you did. But could you give an example of when do you not feel comfortable using it?

Because that just seems like restraint. No longer. I feel comfortable using it all the time now. I didn't at first. It was like this not pay i'll put up a picture i don't know if this is focused not past at the company took me forever dude took me forever but i'm there now but also i wonder if i'd have been there hanging out more um ingratiating myself in these people's lives and worlds and making them laugh and feel this and that if I wouldn't have got anywhere faster. I don't know.

But I've always been the guy that was, I'm going to go in there. I'm going to say hello to everybody that's nice to me. I'm not going to go out of my way to go up to anybody and say, hey, I'm a big fan. I've always felt weird. But you wanted to. You wanted to, but you were insecure. Yeah, 100%. So then I go up to on stage. And again, even with this insecurity, I'm strong about this. I feel good about this because I don't know these people. I'm not making small talk with you. I'm just vomiting my thoughts, jokes, ideas on you to see if it's funny or not and if I can relate to you, right?

This is one of my podcasts where I have you stand up by the curtain and just having you throwing up on an audience. And that's what I was always comfortable with, which is, again, still distant. Yeah. Even though you're there in this room full of 400 people or whatever it is. And then I don't hang out. Boom, off into the night. You want to hang out? No, I do and I don't. I want to say hello to the right people, the nice people, the people I know. Just the ones that are good to me and I'm comfortable with that probably are as awkward

as I am and get that feeling. I've never been not i've never been a social butterfly you know i see those guys that go in and they're like yeah it was uh and they know everybody yeah yeah yeah dapping everybody up in 20 minutes and i just kind of like to float by i like to walk by that right and go into this like me after i shit my pants going down the hallway of restrained kids exactly but i'll sit in the green room with everybody that's on that show. Love a green room, man. And have a green room hang. That I'm comfortable with.

The rest of it, I've never gone to diners and hung out with people. That was the best. I never did that stuff. Some of my best friends now because of that and basketball. That's the battlefield. Sports, I'm still friends with. I was just talking about this with a friend of mine. I'm still friends with so many people from middle school and high school, which is really unique and rare.

I mean, I can probably count 20 of them, and all of those people go back to sports, youth sports, high school sports. Like, I really did – it's interesting. I hear you say comedy is not, but to me, comedy is like tennis. You're out there by yourself performing, and then when you're done, you don't really, we don't really see, well, podcasts have helped that. But other than that, we wouldn't really see each other unless we're on the same show or we're all at a festival together. When you were doing comedy here, had you already been established or did you start out?

Started here. So I get it now. Now that we're, we have these wildly successful podcasts and we're super rich and famous. Yeah. now now that we're we have these wildly successful podcasts and we're super rich and famous yeah but like jokes aside now that like people are touring and doing their own thing it is different now but the first five plus years yes unless you're at a show together but i'm always at a show together i'm always at a show and i see amir k or you know uh uh brent moran like You're always seeing somebody. Same with playing basketball. Who's going to be here today?

I don't know which of the seven people of this pool of 35 will be here, but there's always someone. But also, you didn't hang out. You didn't do that. No. I would look at a lineup and see who's on it and be like, okay, I know that person. I can at least say hi to that person and sit near them

and be comfortable with them. I don't know these four people. I'll say hello and I'm Ryan. Nice to meet you. That's probably it. Unless you strike up conversation. Then I'm all in. Then I'm all in.

I will. But I'm not the guy that usually. Now, these days, I definitely am. Back then, no. Not at all. I feel comfortable in my own skin now. It's not just about do I feel like I'm good enough to be in this room. I know I'm good enough to be in that room.

Is that what kept you before? Maybe I'm not good enough? Yeah, maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe, I mean, that kept me from life. But I always knew I was. I always knew that anything I did, sports or whatever, if I really school, if I put time and effort into it, I would excel at it. I knew that. So I put time and effort into it, I would excel at it. I knew that. So I knew about comedy.

The thing I knew about comedy in my life was of all the things that I do, I'm more right about comedy than I am wrong about comedy. I can't say that about – What does right mean? If I think something's funny, my batting percentage is higher always on the right side than the lower side even if it's 60 40 it's still something that i'm like this is gonna be funny to people people are gonna think this is really funny um i can be right about that more than i'm wrong about that and i can't say that about math i can't say that about a lot of other things i've done in my life um what's 60 plus 40?

100. Looks like you're pretty good at it. You know math. Bro, the damn wink to the camera right now and giving me the kudos is so... I think you know what you're doing. You laughed when I said 31 years ago, you believe 31 plus 18 is... What are you, 52?

51, bro. 31 plus 18 is 51. Is it? 31 plus 18 is 51 is it 31 plus oh it's 49 you know what i do with that i do uh to do 31 plus 18 i do 31 plus 20 minus 2 yeah you do that no you do a little trick sometimes my daughter's doing math like that sometimes you could do 31 plus 8 is 39 plus 10 is 49 but i find just round up to the nearest five and then subtract. Well, you learned different math because you were born, what year were you born in?

I don't understand the question. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I've been waiting to get your answer. No, no. You've had a long time to think about what year you were born. I'm 23 this year, so 2000.

You're 23 and 23. Yeah, of course. You were born in 2000. It's always been easy to figure that out too because it's like how old am i oh what year is it yeah man i remember fucking anyway i don't want to get into it it's just it's such a generational gap so let me let's get back to because i want to wrap this up here when do you ever get out of this fucking school yeah you go back to a normal school i got to get out of school i got half days i got to do half days at this pep and then i would for the second half of the day i

would go back to school what the fuck's that all about why why only half reintegration just let's see we'll give him a half day okay so is this 11th grade you spend a whole 10th grade in pep no no ninth grade nine just ninth grade just right because you started in the first half a year of ninth grade i was all pep and the second half of ninth grade, I was half days. Okay. And then 10th grade or end of ninth grade, I got to come back. And that was back at the original school? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

And then 10th grade, you're all fully integrated back to the regular school? In ninth grade, I was playing basketball, and one of the teachers had a ring on and accidentally hit me playing basketball, like just the way you get hit. I had like a mark right under my eye i think it was my it was my forehead i remember i wanted to go i asked could i go to the school that i'm not in in case i get out in time to take the yearbook picture so i could be in the yearbook i always loved the yearbook because i loved going around asking people to sign stuff because i loved going home and reading it people are always night no one is like fuck you you fucking yeah yeah you're right dork you know it was always like have a great summer yeah it's like

k.i.t yeah uh what's k.i.t keep in touch oh i didn't know that one yeah and um and then like there's a girl that i have a crush on like you get to be able to talk to him for a sec um and my euro picture has like this big mark on, like you get to be able to talk to him for a sec. And my yearbook picture has like this big mark on me. From the ring? Yeah, but I got to get back in time for schooling. And I was so embarrassed going back. Where'd you go?

They would ask me. I was trying out a different school. I didn't tell anybody. But then the school like looked at me as like a a great example of what could be and they invited me back like hey you know for the graduating class of that year like they're gonna do uh an assembly and like that they do every year for graduation and would you please me rick would you please come and play the piano and like show them look what rick did and i'm like yeah i'll go i'll come play the piano but did the school that you went to have anything to do with the help the piano playing they just knew

i played the piano right but they're making it does it am i wrong is it making it sort of sound like look look what rick went away and i don't think so piano and now he's coming here to play for you guys this guy who used to throw books at teachers is now a concert pianist. Right. Because of us. Right, because of us. Uh-uh. I don't think so.

Did you play? I played. I played Titanic. And they had a choir, and they learned the song, and they sang it. But we never rehearsed together. The Celine Dion song? Yeah. My heart will go on.

Yeah. So I'm now here. You never rehearsed together oh no not one time which incidentally I did with uh I had Josh Groban on my podcast and played the piano we never rehearsed I played that and also spoiler alert if you haven't seen it great episode I I got a a concert cellist and and aist. I'm on the second floor. This was during COVID, so we're doing everything on the balcony. Josh Groban, who I just met that day, is on the balcony, windows closed in a tuxedo.

I'm in the air conditioning, you know, my place and sweats. And on the first floor, and I have cameras out there, is a cellist and a violinist in black attire, you know, a dress and suit. We played Titanic, never had rehearsed, and it sounded great. So I was prepping for this my whole life, pepping for this. But I go in and, yeah, I remember even thinking then, like, I'm playing the piano,

and now there's this choir singing, my heart will go on, and I also didn't know everything. Like, oh, sorry, you know, I messed this up. And they're just singing through it. And I just remember even then thinking, like, what the fuck is this and they go ladies and gentlemen you know like rick glassman they i go up on thing and they give me this thing where the pen and it has my name engraved on it it's just like whatever pen um i remember thinking even then like all right you know like all right

i guess i graduated from this fucking traumatizing experience and then i go back to school and then like i was so well behaved for like a semester um i got really bad grades except for that semester i was a i don't know it was a dean's list or honor roll whatever and i just remember thinking like teachers teachers being like look at what you could do if you apply yourself i know it was the first time i remember that i'm like oh yeah but then you know you don't want to anymore um but then i come back and now i have basketball and that changed everything because i wasn't popular but now i have friends i'm being invited places i'm i'm doing this thing and i started really getting confident uh i got confident because you're yeah you just you're playing with people and

then i got pretty good at it in college. And that's where I met all my friends. You played basketball in college? No. Or even direct teams? Intermural. Just intramural. And I thought I could make the team.

I tried out. What college? Kent State. Okay. And I tried out. And I just felt cool like i was playing with the team sometimes and like the team would come in and play an intramural and i remember playing against the football team antonio gates uh i was on the basketball team then but like uh josh cribs

like people who like are professional athletes now i remember playing and and they were dunking and i was dunking and i felt like look at and they thought i was cool i don't know if they thought it was cool but i remember thinking know if they thought I was cool, but I remember thinking, like, I'm one of these guys. You can dunk? Yeah. How tall are you? 6'3".

That's fucking good. Right now, you know, I haven't played in a little bit. I think I still could. Yeah, you're only 22. Yeah, I just haven't played in a little bit. It's weird that Antonio Gates and Josh Kribs were also there dunking. Antonio Gates wasn't on the football team. He was just on the basketball team

yeah i didn't know that for a while i think uh he didn't start playing football till his senior year maybe or something late it was late for antonio gates he was a beast on the basketball yeah yeah that's true um and uh i also remember um uh you know teddy ginn jr from ohio state he was uh he would come he came to the JCC sometimes. And I didn't know much about football, but I know people like, that's Teddy Ginn. And like, I looked him up. Or I watched, I don't remember,

but I saw some stuff, I'm like, cool. And he would come play and we were on the same team. And this was, I'd probably been dunking for like two years or so now. So I say that because like, it takes time to learn how to do stuff. How comfortable am I doing this in a game that's not a fast break do you try because if you miss like there's still like a um there's like a universe of like unless you're jumping out of the gym which i wasn't how do i implement this because what dunking means is you're cool

that's what it means yeah tell me about what that fucking feeling must be like to be able to dunk in front of Antonio Gates. Like, guys that do it at the top level of their jobs. It felt like I belong here. Am I a professional athlete? I could have been. You don't need to tell me. I can only imagine.

I'm 5'10". I can only imagine what it must be like to be on a fast break and dunk in a gym at the JCC in front of Antonio. At the school. Listen, at Kent State, at least when I went there a few years ago, I just graduated this year, last year. It's a big basketball school. The rec center has four courts. You have one that's volleyball and then you have the C court

that's like, if there's a lot of people, people are shooting around the B court, which is packed and people aren't as good. And then the A court and then you have people waiting

and I would go and then there were times where there's people waiting where people who were next were like, ooh, glass and see, like people would wait,

like, sorry, I already got my five, but you didn't really, you had three, you know? And I would get, and there's people waiting where people who were next were like, ooh, Glassman's here. People would wait. Sorry, I already got my five, but you didn't really. You had three. And there's a lot of people both waiting to go on and on the track watching. The actual school teams are there playing. There's an audience. So when you dunk and it's the guy in the goggles who's white, and then people going nuts it's you want that you know it feels really good remember the first time i dunked on somebody was at the jcc fast breaks it's very cool but the first time i dunked on somebody and it was a guy whom like we had beef

with kind of i don't know why but you know you just like fuck this guy type of thing remember i dunked on him and felt, you know. But I didn't say anything to him. I felt like act like you've been here before. I remember having that. But all my friends were like, holy shit. And I remember being like, just be cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. I wanted to think this is what I do, you know.

So then I started to figure out, you know, fast breaks, it's easier. But in a drive, if I get by somebody, it seems like you're dunking on him. If I could get a step to the other side, you're not on him, but like I could come from this way. And I started to get decent at it. And then, uh, I'm with Teddy, I'm playing, I'm on Teddy's team and you get this little, there's a little extra adrenaline, stand up in basketball. It's like when you're doing standup and you have, and you're in the zone because like you're auditioning and you get that first laugh or whatever it is like you get this adrenaline where like you go in that's what

happens when black teenagers are watching you play basketball like there's like you want them their approval let alone black ohio state football players and i threw him an oop and he caught it and he dunked now we're equals so i so i said throw me one and he did and i dunked and he's going nuts and now since then i well at least for a while i'm now catching oops i'm dunking easier it's just like it's really like i could do it now and so now i'm playing with this guy and we're just dunking all over the fucking place maybe it was an inch low i don't think so but i just remember thinking i've never jumped so high in my entire life i I got his phone number. I texted him a couple of times. He texted back once.

And yeah, just it's now I'm confident. I I'm people think I'm cool. I don't know if they do. People want me on their team. Sometimes they do. And also I was so aggressive and like, that's why I have arthritis everywhere. Like you're fighting and you're pushing and like fights, like fist fights with people or even friends, like you're just pushing each other and, and you're fighting and you're pushing like fights like fist fights with people or you even friends like you're just pushing each other and and you're doing this and then when you're done playing it's all everything is good everything is all good i um one thing i'll plug that i'm sure if

people i've plugged in enough so it's this i made this character piece called i am phenomenal this basketball thing i made that was based off a true story of getting kicked out of a basketball game recently for being too aggressive. You did? Yeah. My old boss, Bill Lawrence, again, talked about it, fast forward. I was in this basketball game. It's how I got on Dateable. I got in this basketball game first. He asked me to audition, Brent Morin and I both. And I'm in it for years. And then he sent me an email that was this inciting incident to like so much self-awareness that I came into was, hey, some of these guys don't want to play with you. Here's the reasons, blah, blah, blah. And I ended up making this thing. It's on my YouTube. It's awesome. I filmed it actually because I was writing something and I wanted to edit it to

kind of find some stuff. I never thought I was going to share it. I ultimately ended up filming a new ending to it last year and like hey put it out like kind of frankenstein this thing together it's funny it's it's it's good but like the script joel mckale plays bill lawrence and the script is that joel's script is directly from the email bill sent me so it's this very cool experience of like me playing this version of myself that's too much but basically the idea is i'm playing with these comedy writers and guys that are just want to have a good time like cut to the fucking hoop you know and like doing bits and yelling and aggressive and not passing enough and just like fucking you know just we don't want

rick here anymore um but like that's where i grew up where you get to connect with people like this idea no no we're just playing ball because when you're in college the goal is to not lose because but like that's where I grew up, where you get to connect with people like this idea. No, no, we're just playing ball because when you're in college, the goal is to not lose because if you lose, you have to wait an hour and a half to play next. That's all that mattered was winning.

Here, people, when they win, they go like, take my spot. I need a break. It wasn't about that, but I had that same intensity. There's two things. Being funny was my value and basketball was my value and basketball is my

value so i i kind of shoved it down people's throats and i didn't realize rick just be here you know what i mean um anyway there's more but get wrapped up in how much we're talking dunking uh when you first got it that adrenaline dunking in front of the football players what what's been more of an adrenaline rush? Crushing a stand-up set or that? You know the answer to that. I couldn't imagine. Dude, especially when I didn't get to play much.

And I wanted to be good. We had a really good team. I've talked about this before, too. But we played against LeBron a couple years. You did? Yeah. And we got to... You were out on the court with that massive man i have a

cool picture where uh where we're on the we're uh on the opposite ends of the foul line together it was it's it's it's like um i wanted to be part of that more you know because i just started playing i got to play against him but i wasn't part of the team really i was in a few minutes in that game i mean i was part of you know what i mean like i wasn't i wasn't part of the team really. I was in a few minutes in that game. I mean, I was part of the team. You know what I mean? I wasn't part of what helped drive this team. And I wanted to be, and you want to be included. I dunked for the first time a week after senior year basketball ended. I was in the gym with one of these guys that were really good, the Chones triplets. They were 6 six black guys dad jim chones played you know in the lakers and the calves like they're great and he was like helping me showing me how to

get off my my how to jump basically and then i dunked and he's like yeah and i would go in the hall and bring in people to watch me dunk bleeding bleeding bleeding yeah watch this watch this the confidence you have to have imagine imagine i'm about to go on stage and i go up to people that I don't know that much. Hey, come in here. You're going to want to see this. Imagine that kind of confidence. You don't have that. You know, even if you did, that kind of ruins it. So being able to do that thing, especially when people know you can't do it, especially do it in a game where it's also on someone too. Yeah. There's only a couple of times I did on somebody but like like i said next to like you know it still could look like a poster if you're from the side there's nothing

like it also because maybe there is for people that do that all the time but like i wanted that i wanted dunking on somebody meant i'm being included getting people to laugh also getting approval yes yes getting a laugh isn't that for me sometimes maybe but when i get a laugh on stage and i know i'm being funny i think yeah and if i don't get a laugh and i know i'm being funny i'm like that's funny i want them to like me but that's not going to dictate it doesn't change me dunking does can you still dunk um i don't know i haven't tried you should every i could i could with it i could last summer at the end of every set you should wheel out a fucking rim and just dunk and walk out of there i have i have a show idea

you know like like how who, like like Chappelle Lacey will do a backflip sometimes. Yes, he does. Yeah, but for me to do that, like I'm such a prop comic that I need to bring out a hoop. Listen, I told Chappelle the same thing. Sooner or later, you're not going to be able to do that backflip. So you got to have something else.

What happens when he finds out he can't do it? It's going to hurt. It's going to fucking hurt. Yeah, do you do it and then know I can't do it? Or do you, like if you miss a dunk, you get rim checked. Right. But what happens if you miss that? You fucking fall on your neck probably. That's scary.

Yeah. Yeah. First of all, thank you for coming on here and doing this. This has been a great episode. I've learned quite a bit about you. Thank you for having me. We're going to have you on whenever it works for you. I would love it.

But now I want to ask you advice you would give to 16 year old Rick Glassman Because that's an interesting time It ends up being an interesting time For a lot of people But man you're going through some shit at that school Or you're just getting out You're hybriding it maybe at that point Hybriding?

Yeah like you said half day at this school I'm made up hybriding. I get it. What advice would you give to 16-year-old Rick? Other than pick up a whole bunch of Beta, Alpha, Unlimited, and Arabian Nights Magic cards and just sit on them for a while, because that is number one. Is that... Oh, my gosh.

What are they worth? Dude. Are they like baseball? Well, baseball cards have gone down. There's nothing like... Magic cards. I mean, during the height of the pen, during early 2020, when collectibles really were booming, they've corrected since, but they're still,

they're still not back to where they were before then. They're still up. I mean, an alpha graded very high Lotus is selling for, I think it's still for like $900,000. Get the fuck out of here. A card. Oh yeah. 900,000.

There was, there was 2000 I've ever made. There's a, I mean, even now I bought, I bought a, every year I booked a television show, which is a lot,

I would get myself a gift. First season of Undateable, I bought myself a prostitute to lose my virginity. I was 14. Right, yeah. No, I bought myself a collectible. And I have since sold

a fair amount of them. But one of them was I bought a beta starter deck, which came out in 93. It says on there 795 or 895. I bought it, I think, for four grand. And that's easily selling, not just worth, selling for near 30 now. Damn. That was six, seven years ago.

When I first moved out here, my grandma had passed away and left me $10,000. And I'm moving to California. It helped me with the confidence of it. I found a place and I have a couple thousand that I'm using to pay for rent as I'm now working and could paycheck to paycheck pay my rent. I spent most of that money. I bought magic cards. And I bought four black lotuses at the time between $800 and $1,100. I sold them within a year later.

I flipped them for up to almost two grand. So I made a little bit of money. Wow. Because I bought some good quality ones and I got them graded. Not exaggerating now. One of them, I bought an unlimited Black Lotus that I ended up getting graded PSA 10. That sold for last year, I think, 75, more at least 75,000. Dollars.

Yeah. I bought a Black Lotus that was said to be beta. It ended up being alpha. I was upset. We don't need to get into it. At the time, alpha was you didn't want. But I bought it for 800. I sold it for 12 to 14.

That is, I mean, that's gotta be, in that not great condition, it's gotta be 60, 70 grand. God damn. I mean, some of these things, if you could find a sealed box of these cards, they're hundreds and thousands of dollars. It's, and so I would look at this pack. Sometimes I'd look at this pack.

I keep it in a safe deposit box. And every now and then I go, like I'm visiting my kids and I'll go and I'll take it out for a day. And I'll just, and I go and I just look at them. Like imagine having a whole bunch of these. So that's something I would do. The other thing I would say is, I guess, I mean, this is very, very corny, but I'm so grateful for all of that I am and have and went through because I love who I am. I love good, who I am so much.

I also didn't look at it as like, everybody has their obstacles and their traumas. And I blindly accidentally thought everything was great. I always thought I was, the I am phenomenal thing is like, I am phenomenal. And then I find out, wait, am I not? And I'm not phenomenal. And now I'm back to, no, I'm good.

I didn't know. I guess if I had to give myself advice about things for when I was feeling unincluded and or down, I wouldn't be able to listen to it. I wouldn't, because it's too, you can't, it's, this is great. This is what it's supposed to be. I have some advice that I gave myself as an adult that I could have given to myself as a kid, but I don't think I could have comprehended it. And it came from standup, which was, and I've also said this on my podcast, but I remember going up, I would always be very scared to go up. Sometimes I've thrown up before going up. I'm shaking. I'm very, very nervous, including eight plus years in. I just, what am I doing? I don't know what I'm supposed to talk

about. And there was a time I was at the Hollywood Improv and I was going up in the main room and I remember being, I'm up next. And you know, that's when you're going to be nervous. It's when you're about to be up more so than when you're on. And I'm so nervous and I'm shaking, my hands are sweating. And I made the decision to like not hide it because if I hide it, then I'm just, I'm not going to be present. I'm going to be like pretending. And other people could go up and say, I'm nervous or whatever to acknowledge it. And it's a great skill. But more than that, more than the tool of acknowledgement, there was this acceptance of like, I've been doing this for almost 10 years. I'm nervous. I'm supposed to be, I'm going to be, it's just a scary thing.

And this idea, like I'm supposed to be nervous as opposed to try and hide it. There's this confidence in like, I'm a nervous guy. Why is nervous a problem? You should be nervous before you go up. I just had a conversation about this. I saw this interview with Mick Jagger where he said he still gets nervous before he goes out there. And he's like, if you don't, you're not alive. It's not real real it's not normal to go do what we do and you should be like i'm with you i when it used to when i first started doing stand-up i'd be nervous the whole day i had a gig i don't eat much you can't plan anything and eventually that got to a few hours before the drive to the show then when i'm at the venue now if you're up ahead of me and you're like that that's my time or whatever, that's when I really start like, oh, the butterflies and the adrenaline. And then I walk out and it's gone. And the other thing about that too is I don't know why, good or bad,

however my set's gone, when I've walked out there, I haven't had the butterflies disappear. And it's one of those things that I've never even bothered to try to figure out why, because I don't want to fuck with it. It's been 20 years of when I'm out there, the butterflies are gone. I can tell you, and it won't bother you. It's great. It's the butterfly. It's what we were talking about with expectations. The nervousness isn't about how I'm doing.

It's the fear of the unknown. Yeah, it's the anticipation. It's now what? And that's what's so beneficial, and I call it a superpower, of being able to tap into being present. Because when you're present and nervous, you're not worried about what's happening. This is just a chemical feeling. You're just, what is it going to be like? And when you're up there and you say the wrong thing and you don't get a laugh, who gives a shit? Really, it doesn't, you just, you might think,

uh, but it doesn't, it's not what's gonna happen. It just did and nothing happened. But the idea of you're supposed to be nervous and Mick Jagger being nervous beforehand and you getting these butterflies, at a certain point when you recognize it's what it's supposed to be, it becomes a thing to where it's just like,

yeah, when you're hungry, you're hungry. It's just a feeling. And to appreciate that like the things that we go through, you're hungry. It's just a feeling. And to appreciate that the things that we go through, we're supposed to. On a spiritual level, maybe there's some things that I don't want. We're at the end of the podcast. We don't want to get too much into it. But just basically the idea of like, I've developed a skill that I'm so grateful for in comedy and just socialize, like play that I would not have had if the things didn't go the way it did. You know, I've seen in movies where they talk to like the nerdy kid and they're like, don't

worry, one day he's going to be working at a gas station, which is nothing wrong with movies. And you're going to be the president of the United States. You know, like this idea of like what will be. And that could maybe make people feel good to think what will be. But like, I look back at me as a kid and I just think he was so nice and cute and annoying and like tried so hard to be friends and fucked up. Yeah, and that's all, you're supposed to be friends and fucked up. Yeah. And that's all you're supposed to be that. I don't

think I have a close friend outside of the few that I still am friends with that came from basketball. Most of them are now comedians. I have a close friend that didn't grow up feeling unincluded, not good enough, weird, ugly. You meet a good looking looking guy i'm talking like a hot guy and he's funny 60 of the time at least he was a fat kid you know like growing up feeling a certain way lets you become something so uh i wouldn't tell him to change anything i guess it would just be like great advice maybe here's what i would say when your ocd is flaring just keep the socks on i used to it would take me what is that it would take me five plus minutes to get my socks on why uh it had to be a certain way it's all right i'm touching my ocd was was was i guess maybe figured i don't know i don't know uh what i would advise him

you had to go through it but But I remember once I woke up. I have an anecdote. It's two minutes and it doesn't matter. Should I tell it or? Yeah. I was always late for school because I always had stomach aches. My parents were driving to school, I mean, almost every day. And one day I woke up a little early and I'm like, all right, I'm going to make my mom, like, I want to be good.

And I'm going to get to school on time. And I woke up before my mom, because my mom would always come in and wake me up. And I woke up before and I got my socks on. I don't remember five, 10 minutes it took me to get my socks on. And I heard my mom coming and got under the covers. And my mom goes, get ready for school. And I woke up and I said, I'm dressed. She said, good.

And I remember, and I got out, I'm still in my pajamas, but I had my socks on. And my mom never knew that it took me so long to get my socks on. So she's like, you're not dressed. She wasn't mad, but I'm like,

I got my socks on. I remember then being like, doesn't it take you five minutes, 10 minutes to get your socks on? That's just one example. But like, yeah, I mean, brushing my teeth,

I would have to hit the right numbers. It would take me so long. So I guess it would be like, hey, Rick, just put the socks on, man. You know what? It's a good name for the special. Just put the socks on. I like it. Well, I talked a lot this one.

I appreciate your patience. I saw you holding me on a few times. Didn't need to acknowledge it because Cam will be on me. Not one time. There's a couple of these. I'm not putting it on me or you, but there were a couple of these. Watch, watch. You know that? You ever see someone do this? Then my eyes water after. The eyes water after is the dead gif.

Just y'all. And you go like this thank you dude yeah man uh promote everything again please your podcast we got the road psa one mic arm go to amazon look that up it's about 100 bucks and it's fucking fantastic we have them in the drawer over there why not have them we literally have them but why not because i like this better then have that I do. May I make a suggestion? Sure. Put one here.

Have a third mic. And just if the guest wants it, they can pull it over. Yeah. And you know what you could do? You could start every podcast with pick your mic. I bet you. I bet you. Probably not going to do that.

A lot of people are going to go, why not? Because we did that at the start. People didn't want this? They were just loud. People would hit it, bang it, all that shit. Listen, you're asking a lot to trust people to know how to use equipment. I've done about 200 episodes, most of them without mic arm. The main complaint I get when people have that is, whoa, too bad other people don't use this.

And they're going like this. This is like a real professional thing. I actually want to make a montage that I could say I'm not going to, but send you to put on of how many people, like, whoa, you got a real operation going on here. All right, we'll look into it. We got them in the drawer. Well, I don't know when this episode comes out.

When you come back. But I got a few in the can, so I'm chilling out and recording. But once I'm doing the new setup, I want to have you on. I can't wait. I can't wait to pull in that arm too. You're going to like it. That might change me. I think it might. Alright. As always, RyanSickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media.

We will talk to you all next time. Oh, wait. I didn't actually. Take your shoes off podcast. Check out Rick Glassman on Instagram.