The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Sam Morril - Dewicide

Episode Date: August 2, 2021

My HoneyDew this week is Sam Morril! Sam Highlights the Lowlights of being raised by a single mom and his father, who was absent from his childhood, but present in the same neighborhood. Add witnessing a suicide that almost killed Sam and you got yourself one helluva HoneyDew! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew SPONSORS: Raycon Create your own soundtrack, with Raycon. Right now, HoneyDew listeners can get 15% off their Raycon order at BUYRAYCON.COM/HONEYDEW Babbel Right now, when you purchase a 3-month Babbel subscription, you'll get an additional 3 months for FREE! That's 6 months, for the price of 3. Just go to Babbel.com and use promo code HONEYDEW. That's Babbel.com, code HONEYDEW, for an extra three months free. Green Chef Go to GREENCHEF.COM/HONEYDEW and use code HONEYDEW100 to get $100 off including free shipping! The #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well Mint Mobile To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE, go to MINTMOBILE.COM/HONEYDEW. That’s MINTMOBILE.COM/HONEYDEW. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month

This episode of The Honeydew is brought to you by Raycon, Babbel, Green Chef, and Mint Mobile. More on that later. Let's get into the do. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media. I can't thank you guys enough. Thank you. Thank you for the support. Thank you for everything you're doing to help this show grow.

I really do appreciate it. I love my fucking job, and I love y'all, all right? I want to tell you about some tour dates. Night Pants Nation tour is getting underway, guys. Hitting it in the fall, basically. So September 16th through the 18th, I'm in Phoenix. All right. September 30th through October 2nd, I'm in Indianapolis, y'all. Coming to Indy. I'm in Vegas with Tom Segura October 8th and 9th and October 28th I'm headlining the Brea Improv out here in Brea, California go to ryansickler.com

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If you or someone you know has that story that has to be heard, submit it to honeydewpodcast at gmail.com. We'll go through them. We'll get you on. We've had so many amazing stories. I can't tell you. They keep coming in. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not dogging it. I'm not doing half-hour shows. I'm doing hour-plus shows with every single one of y'all, and it's five bucks a month, all right? And for five bucks, you get the entire back catalog and you get this show the honeydew ad free a day early at no additional cost all right it's five bucks a month if you sign up

for a year you get over a month free it's a pretty damn good deal so jump on it and uh join that community over there all right also you guys know about these d1 athletes now. They can get paid. They can get sponsored. We don't want D1 athletes. We're the honeydew. I want D2s. I want JUCOs. We already got two on board. We've got Caden Wood.

Caden Wood, my man, is a D2 pitcher at Seton Hill. Don't confuse that with Seton Hall. Seton Hill, and they went to the College World Series this year. I got Marcus Everett, who's a fisherman, but he's a bow fisherman. This dude, the fish don't stand a chance. I'm looking for athletes. Give me – you got to be good, though. Don't come at me with some bullshit.

Give me a bowler. Give me a dart thrower. Who's – is there a fucking cornhole champion? Where are you? Give me some goddamn – what's it? Frisbee. Frisbee golf. I'll get one of you guys.

I'm sponsoring let's go submit your fucking uh request at honeydewpodcast at gmail.com just put honeydew athlete in your subject and let's see if we can't rock you some gear and get out there and and support to do all right now that's all the bullshit to get out of the way you know what we do here we highlight the low lights i always say these are the stories behind the storytellers today's storyteller very excited to have here first time on the honeydew ladies and gentlemen please welcome sam morrow y'all welcome to the honey thank you man thank you for being here thanks for having me yeah this is long overdue dude you're one of the new york guys i've been wanting to get on here for a while thank you

man mark mark norman told me to reach out i was like i should do ryan's thing yeah mark is mark's done it a couple times yeah we learned on here that mark norman lost his virginity at the time but who was older than his own mom wow that's kind of he and he then he realized he was like i've never thought about it i was like bro you lost your virginity to a woman older than your mom he's like i did yeah prostitute he's got grandma issues that's crazy you like expired milk and shit damn um all right before we get into uh highlighting your low lights plug promote everything you want well i'm on the road every week you can get those dates at uh samorell.com slash shows. So I think this month, Lexington, Kentucky, Kansas City, Missouri, Portland, Oregon, and Royal Oak, Michigan. Then the next month, it's like Philly, Boston, St. Louis, all over.

But yeah, I got the pod with Norman, the drinking podcast, We Might Be Drunk, basketball pod, Pod Don't Lie, and I got a couple specials on YouTube. You got great specials on youtube thank you man yeah and you did it yourself yeah i mean it's it's the only way to go and i mean you la guys figured out the podcasting how to make it look nice we got off zoom like two weeks ago in new york but uh no you know this is like legit production value and and uh yeah you just i got sick of just waiting for people to be like, some of those bigger networks or streamers, they're like, we're going to take five months to review and then say no. And I'm like, I don't have, all I have is time.

So you can reject me, but don't suck my time. Do it now. I also, I don't want to get too precious about material. I like to just burn it. So if someone steals a bit, I'm not like heartbroken. I'm like, yeah, whatever. I dumped that joke anyway, you know? So I just want to keep putting stuff out there.

Well, I love your shit. And I love seeing people do it like that because, you know, we talk about it. The last whatever year, more, 15 months, these people weren't working. Yeah. These agents, these these managers these everybody a lot of vacation photos i see a lot of vacation photos i got a salary i've got a 401k a lot of them got insurance a lot a lot of agents did get fired but yeah and then guess what yeah what were they doing then they weren't working But guess who kept rolling right along?

Comics kept putting out content. Because now you can. Now you got this fucking, it's not, I don't know why we keep calling them phones. These are goddamn computers in our pockets. But you can do anything you want now from a phone. Crazy. I mean, yeah. Anything you want.

You don't need any of that. Like, it all shifted. And anyone that's not, anyone that's thinking 2019 it's a motherfucking rap dave chappelle went out to a cornfield yeah and made a show and people came you don't need that it doesn't need that story wasn't as inspiring to me because he's already got like what 40 million in the bank but a guy that could go madison square garden for sure a guy that could go for sure center or shit staples what am i talking about he could go Madison Square Garden tonight. A guy that could go Staples Center. Shit, Staples. What am I talking about? He could go sell out SoFi

probably. It's cool that Chappelle is such a purist that he's like, I'll do it anywhere. That's right. But show that you can and that people will go there. There was not one person like, man, I'm not going to see that if it's not at the Garden. I'm not going to see that if it's not at this club.

They were like, I'm going to see Dave fucking Chappelle. Well, that's what we realized during the pandemic, right? People will go anywhere. Like, how many nights can you watch Queen's Gambit before you're like, I'm good. I got it. You know, like, I want. So I was doing shows in, like, the East River Amphitheater. Yeah.

Rooftops, parking lots. And that Supernova show here, I was telling you, telling you i really think like there's going to be rules and things like i love the early morning hours for senior citizens at grocery stores i think that shit should stay for sure you know i think the delivery of alcohol from restaurants now should i want your fucking margarita that should stay that's cool yeah and and there's a couple shows they're gonna make it i think and that Supernova show is fucking one of the best shows in this city. Good outdoor shows. If they stay, they earned it.

Because no one wants to do outdoor shows at this point. People were asking me, like, come do my back alley. I'm like, that was a pandemic thing. Now with indoor options, I don't want to do it. But the roofs, too, it's like those were kind of special to do just because they were like private and they felt like almost like prohibition style, like comedy is illegal. There are people lighting joints who are like, is this OK? I'm like, dude, none of this is legal. We're not supposed to be on a roof telling –

None of this is OK. So I mean I loved it. I loved it. I never want to do it again, but I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. I never want to do it again, but I loved it. So let's talk. What's your – do you say your social media?

You said your website. Oh, it's just my name. Yeah, Sam Morrell. But how do you spell your name? Because I always want to put an extra L on it. It's two R's and one L, right? Yeah, S-A-M-M-R-R-R-I-L. All right.

Makes no sense phonetically. It's one of those annoying things where my dad's like, it's morale, not moral. Oh, see, I said immoral. I don't give a shit, but he cares. And that made me be like, should I? I feel like I'm like. But that's his name. So I get.

I know. But let's talk about your dad. Sure. Because it looks like all we left was a name. That was a good segue. That was not. No, this is my, this is my, technically my stepdad's name. Okay, okay. No, this is technically my stepdad's name. No, my biological, my name growing up was, my mom's name is Greenberg.

Okay. So that was that. And then my biological dad's last name was Elgort. Say it again? Elgort. Elgort. Yeah. All right.

I like morale way better. Yeah, Elgort's, you know, it's fine. So tell me about your biological dad. Well, I didn't meet him. So how do your parents, were they married when they had you or did they just? They weren't married. It was the young kids or? I haven't asked the whole story because I feel like it'll upset my mom.

You know, I don't. Can't make her cry through that to tell you. I actually have a bit about this now that I've been working on where it's like the idea of it was like when you're when ever you tell someone that you were like an unplanned, you know, a mistake. They're like, I was unplanned or broken condom. And I'm like, I've never I've never broached it with my mom because I love her. Like, I can't I can't imagine pulling my mom aside like mom real quick. Did you get raw dog? Like what happened?

Did that come in your purpose or was it an accident? I know I ruined our relationship. And my friend Gary wants to know. So, you know, certain things I haven't asked in detail because I think it would upset her. What do you think?

Probably casually dating and would be my guess but I don't want to. And she got pregnant. Yeah. And he was like, no. I have a little more empathy no he wasn't there i never met him until much later in my life i was probably 19 when i met him but wow all right so he uh so yeah no he was gone he had lost his wife i think not too uh long ago to cancer before they started i see so i think he was like i can't do a kid right now i just he already had a kid not too long ago to cancer before they started. I see.

So I think he was like, I can't do a kid right now. He already had a kid. I haven't met him. I haven't met the half-brother, I guess. So you have a half-brother that he had already had. I think he lives out here. That would be a great surprise if you just had him. We have a special guest for you.

You ain't going to believe his right now. But no, I never met him. But I brought it up to my biological dad once. I was kind of like, oh, maybe it'd be cool to meet him. He was like, yeah, you know, I put that out there. And he didn't seem interested. I was like, all right. I was like, never mind.

Saw your last video on that rooftop, man. He said that. He's like, not for me. Not for me. But it's weird. He looks a little like me, which is he's much older. He's like, he's probably like 20 years older than me older than me oh wow or maybe like my biological dad's old he's like in his mid-80s so oh shit yeah he had me i was like yeah so how old was he when he had you 50s 50s

yeah how old was your mom 40 or 41 oh so she's an older mom i think that's what i'm the only i'm the only biological. Yeah. It's like, uh, and then my dad who raised me, he was like, I call dad. I love him. He's like legally, he's a lawyer. So he's like, I want to make this official, like in a courtroom and legally adopt you. And he's a great dad. You know, he's a, he really is.

It's like, all right, so let's go back for a sec. So you're raised by a single mom then for a few years. Yeah. For a few years. That's a long time though. When you're just one parent with a baby especially a newborn yeah yeah and then she meets your stepdad yeah they got set up on a blind date for real yeah yeah and my dad is he's funny he said to her on the phone he said i have a bit of a receding hairline just like a bit and then they met and he's completely bald so it's a pretty good tease.

He's a funny guy. And then he has two kids of his own who are my stepbrother and stepsister. We just go brother, sister. We don't play those. So you're all close then? Yeah, I don't see my sister a ton because she works so much. I feel like I text her my brother more. But I'm gone every week. I was going to say, do ever like fly out to a close gig and kick it with you for the

weekend no that's some shit my cousin's trying to work out right now because he wants to get away really he goes hey i'm gonna just tell my wife it's research like if you're in atlanta or something i'll fly down on a southwest flight from baltimore for 70 bucks can i just kick it with you in atlanta for i was like fuck yeah if he wanted to do that i'd rather do that than hang out with some strangers my sister would never do that she's got three kids she's never sleeps she's like you know got a high pressure job my brother i could see that would be good like going that's like sideways too they're going through the divorce type situation you know but on the road it's kind of got that fun vibe right that is a part dude i love uh yeah i would love that all right so stepdad comes in great he's a great dad right away he

takes to you and you take to him and yeah i was so young i just was like i remember him i remember us writing the name because i was sam greenberg up until then and he was like we're gonna take my name now that I'm marrying your mom. And I was like, oh, okay. And I remember him like, I couldn't get Morel right. You know, I was just like writing it and he's like, close, not right. And then, you know, so yeah, we, yeah, he, it was pretty instant that we just kind of became a family, you know?

So when you're saying dad out here you refer right now i call my dad i say biological dad for the other one so you never took his you never had his name you were your mom's greenberg and then yeah well i mean it would be crazy if i took that's a painful reminder right there if i just did but i uh yeah i'd say biological dad before him i used to have a bit about this or i'd say my biological dad um people were like, was he a good dad? And I was like, if he were, I probably wouldn't refer to him as my biological dad. Does anyone think he knocked it out of the park if that's how I'm introducing him to people? So as you're growing up, when do you start to question or want to know or be interested about biology? I'll tell you.

I was satisfied with my dad. I love my dad. So I think I wasn't really curious until I dated a girl who had two psychiatrists for parents. Which, if you were a psychiatrist and you marry another psychiatrist, just don't have kids. You're going to fuck them up. She would pull this move. We were like 19 and fight. She would just pull this move where she'd be like, who are you really yelling at?

Oh, nah. And I'd be like, that's fucking you. What do you think? You. So she would pull that move in fights a lot. And it got to a point where I was like, I guess I got to meet him. So I brought it up to my mom. They would they encourage this is that what it was her parents well she it was just how they raised her to be very like this is your parent you have issues

with your parents that's why you're mad at me not that it was like it would take away anything that she did you know any responsibility for her action so i remember i asked my mom i was like well i'd like to just meet him i'm just curious and uh she said all right well why don't you he left you a safety deposit box like a note in the bank he left a note for you which is like it's like what is this fucking it's like a movie but you didn't know that no i she was weird when i brought it up but i understand why it's like and meanwhile my dad who raised me is just like, go for it. Like he just knew he was like, not a great dad. It was like, I heard a story once that, uh, Brad Pitt was dating, uh, Brad Pitt was dating Jennifer Aniston. And I think Ashton Kutcher's like, can I just take her on a date? And he was like, go ahead. That was the vibe of my dad meeting my, you know, he's like, you're not gonna win you know so i met him and uh

i call him and he's like hey and he's like hey uh no real quick had your mom had any contact with him during these years nothing okay no i think he never reached out to meet you or okay all right um which is fucking weird it is weird so because I'm so... Because your night, that's two decades. You don't even wonder? Well, yeah, it's weird that I didn't. I think I was... Not you. I mean, him also.

I was holding a lot in. I remember I saw a therapist. I went to Tulane for like a year and a half in New Orleans. I remember I saw a therapist there. It was so weird. It looked like, dude, it was... Katrina had just hit. So it was like a flooded hospital where I saw this therapist. It looked

like, it looked like Shutter Island. It was the weirdest shit I've ever seen, you know? But my mom's like, this is the therapist you're going to see. So I was like, all right. You know, it was kind of like a, you know, I acted out a lot. So I remember I saw this therapist and he was like roasty. That's the only way way to like he was kind of a dick he was really smart and a good therapist but he would like zing you like i remember i was like yes i was given my background it was like well there's a few years it was just me and my mom and he goes you and mommy against the world and i was like what the fuck what's your problem i was like i didn't know i picked rickles to go through my shit.

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Now, let's get back to the do. So I think like I had been in therapy, but it was like casual. It wasn't like anything serious. And then, yeah Duke. So I think, like, I had been in therapy, but it was, like, casual. It wasn't, like, anything serious. And then, yeah, so then I meet. I call Bob is his name. I call Bob, and I said, hey, this is Sam. You know, I guess no way other than to say your biological son.

This is your first contact. Yeah, yeah. And apparently, he told me later, he's like, I was on the crapper when you called. No. Of course. He's taking a cigarette. Got a cigarette in his mouth. No.

Who is it? Sam. But, you know, here's a- Is that what she named you? I would have gone with something a little cooler, but Sam, fine. He knew my name because she saw him on the street once, like, when I was like a baby. She was pushing me in the store. No, come on.

It's New York. Can you imagine? I know. That's what I'm saying. Can you imagine being your mom, and this stranger comes by while you're pushing his child? Like, fuck. That's deep, dude. Yeah, no, I feel for my mom.

You know, I think she's been through stuff, you know, and then, yeah, so she's run into him, and he just was like, all right. He wasn't very warm. Did he even look in or anything? No. God. Yeah, so she's run into him, and he just was like, all right. He wasn't very warm. Did he even look in or anything? No. God! So she just said, this is Sam. And he just goes, looks like you, and walked away.

Like, he's got a side to him that's like, all right. Oh, shit. Yeah, so I heard that. I was like, well, he's probably not, like, the best person. You know, I don't. Yeah. Now that I know him, he's not a bad person. He's just not a good dad.

Yeah, there's a difference. There is a difference. There are friends of mine who I'm like, you're a great dude. That's not, it doesn't mean you're a great dad. Or husband. Or husband. Exactly. I mean, look, my mom was a shitty mom, okay?

But she's got a lot of friends. Yeah. So she's probably a good friend. But that, just because you're one good thing there people don't i love that you're saying this because people don't get this we play so many roles in our lives father cousin bro whatever the fuck it is you're not batting a thousand at all those titles you're just not you're just not you can't so someone that might think you're a shitty aunt you might be a great mom and a great teacher but you could

still be a shitty aunt you're not you're not gonna be perfect true words have never been spoken and and you're a stepdad i mean so i respect people who decide to take because that's no one's blueprint no one is like going through life like someday i'm gonna raise someone else's kid no one no one is planning on that so So I respect people who do that. So I have so much love for my dad. So I meet Bob. I meet him like some week. Where do you meet? It's like a coffee shop type place, like a diner-ish, cafe-ish place.

And I remember it was both of us. He looks exactly like me. I've never had that. Is he tall like you? yeah he's tall um we my grandfather looked a little bit like me

my uncle looks a little bit like me but he looked I'm like oh shit this is weird when you say grandfather and uncle that was mom's side

mom's side yeah so you never knew his nothing from his side I didn't know his side no no no nothing at all I do a little bit now

I know like you know his parents are they gone? they're gone he's 80 if they were alive I'd be like I don't i don't want to meet you it's gonna be fucking weird yeah uh but yeah i met him there and yeah it was so weird and i met his uh his wife is really cool his wife hold on yeah you walk in yeah yeah are you there first or is he there first? He was there first.

Do you hug or do you shake hands or neither? I think it was like a wave. It was like, yeah. I mean, a hug is weird. I'm just asking. Yeah. He gave me a hug at the end. At the end.

Yeah. But. So you wave and you sit down. It's just him and you? Yeah. Okay. And what's the first, do you remember the first thing he says to you? I think he was just like, wow.

Because he was like, you look a lot like me. Even he couldn't deny that. Yeah. Yeah. And what did he say to you? I mean, he tried to early. That doesn't look like me. No. Looks like you.

I got to think of shit. I'm out of here. Yeah. So I think. What do you talk about? He just like kind of asked who I was, I think. And I asked who of here. Yeah, so I think – What do you talk about? He just kind of asked who I was, I think, and I asked who he was. I didn't know anything about him. I was like, what did you do for work and what kind of person were you?

What did he do? He worked in advertising. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah, I think he just wanted to know. He's like, what did I miss? Catch me up. I got time for a cup of coffee. Can you wrap up the last two decades?

Kind of. Right. I mean, that's that was kind of the vibe of it. And then so he goes, well, I live right by here. Do you want to just come up for a minute and meet my wife? And I said, all right. His wife is very much. like, you would like her. She's very much in entertainment. She toured with Cher.

She was Cher's hairstylist. She was Lily Tomlin's hairstylist. Oh, come on. So she's, like, best friends with Lily Tomlin, who I fucking love. Yeah. Like, who doesn't love Lily Tomlin? Seriously, yeah. She's a genius, you know?

And she's got music and comedy deep roots, huh? Crazy. So she gets it. So she would be like, this was years ago, she'd be like, oh, I know a lot of comics because of The Road.

Like, comics would open for share. Do you know, like, Dom Herrera? I'd be like, Dom Herrera? Like, this is crazy. I didn't know you opened for share. Yeah, I'm like, that guy's the best. Like, what do you mean?

So, yeah, it was pretty cool. And she was like, what? She was more like, this is insane. And it's one of those things where it's hitting her hard where she's like, the look is weird. And it's one of those things you just, you don't realize you're bottling stuff up until that happens. You also don't even realize what you have bottled up until it all pops. For sure. When that cork pops, you don't know what the fuck's coming out.

That's so true. It's because it's an unknown. It just hits you at once. You're like, oh, that's weird. And I remember she – the girl's day and the time came by too. And he would come to shows sometimes. He would come to comedy shows. He's much older now.

Okay, so after you meet him, he starts having a bit of a. We had a bit of a relationship. But tell me, he lived in the neighborhood. How close were you to this coffee shop? Jeez. I mean, I was living with my folks at the time. I was probably a couple miles away. So you're by a lot.

This is, I'm telling you, this is, even on the Patreon. Yeah. i have so many guests my myself included my mom left the family she moved a mile and a half down the road jay larson's dad moved a neighborhood over yeah and i'm saying like if you're gonna leave your fucking family get out of the zip code so we don't you know i'm running into another like why don't we gotta see each other on the street that's how good manhattan is you're like i'm not i want to stay it's got everything you know this is my neighbor i was here first my friend damian lemon who's really funny he used to have a bit about he's like i had the type of dad that would

leave the family but stay in the neighborhood so basically what you're saying yeah i mean this kid i had on patreon his biological father ended up living. He lived on my street. We'd drive past his house every day. So many people, so many people say they left the family, but they didn't leave the fucking neighborhood. It's so weird. It is. It's weird.

A thing in therapy, too, I felt bad even complaining about it because I had a good childhood in a lot of ways I a lot of ways it was a really great childhood and I you know I had a loving family so it felt weird he's like you make any excuse this is what my therapist said you make any excuse to avoid feeling anything and I was like that's not. And then I took a martini. I said, no. It's like a non-ethnic deal. I'm like, what are you talking about? What are you talking about? No, but he's got a point probably. He's got a point probably, but also the whole point of therapy too is to deal with the shit and then look at the positive.

You already were looking at the positive. You just hadn't dealt with the dog shit yet. But also, you it it's interesting because you only knew your stepdad yeah and that it how do you it it it's gotta feel like your father he is my dad i just call him i mean i was so young i didn't know anything i think that's part of the reason i never wanted to deal with it because i just knew it wouldn't feel great like those people like he said, go ahead. Yeah.

Go ahead and dig into that shit. My friend Joe DeRosa has this bit where he, you know the bit I'm talking about where he said, you know, he's adopted and people say, you ever try to meet your real parents? And he goes, no, I took the hint actually. Just like, is there like a better short joke? Jesus Christ. No. That's like perfect.

It is perfect. That's kind of how i felt there was no fat on that at all but that's kind of how i felt what was like i know it's not like it's not like he's gonna you're gonna show up and you're like oh this guy is a fucking perfect guy yeah hey so so all right so you have this meeting you go up you meet his wife and now are you texting talking yeah we talk every once in a while he would call or no yeah we we would meet a little more it was more and how does your mom feel about all that she's i mean she's supportive as she can be i don't think she's thrilled i don't think it's like oh great you're meeting this dude who i have an opinion of you're not going to get an unbiased

take yeah so yeah i don't think she loved that i would try to not bring it up and then she would you're meeting this dude who I have an opinion of. You're not going to get an unbiased take. So, yeah, I don't think she loved that. I would try to not bring it up. And then she would casually be like, oh, do you talk? Just curious, do you talk to him? And I'd say, yeah, a little bit. Did they ever see each other at one of your shows? No, I made sure that never happened.

Yeah. I would say you can't come. He would definitely tell you. I would be like, mom gets first pick on the show. You're not. If she's coming, you can't come. You know? So. But they're not.

I mean, he didn't come to like that. He came to a couple of shows. He brought his nephews to a couple. He brought them to a show once. I think it was me and Chris D opening for Daryl Hammond like a long time ago at Caroline's. And he came to see that? He came to see it, yeah. So, I mean, we would...

I don't talk to him as much now. It got harder. You know, he has some mental issues, so it got... He had a bit of a depressive breakdown, so it became harder to talk to him. And then I was kind of like, the irony of me having to come take care of him is not lost on me.

So that became difficult uh and where are you now with it well i'm i think i'm still kind of figuring it out he lives like nine blocks from me so that's when it becomes i would see him on the street and be like you would do this right now yeah i'd have to like take a different path it's my dad yeah i can't do this right now so i would walk i didn't consider. It's my dad. I can't do this right now. I would walk. I didn't consider him my dad, though. He's just some dude. That's even weirder. That's some dude that just looks like me. How do I introduce him to people? I said,

this is Bob. They just look at both of us. I'd be like, just call him Bob. I remember seeing him. I saw him at the rec center once. I have a lot of bits about the rec center because I always just would swim laps at the rec center and he would just be there doing physical therapy so it was one of the things right be like hey and you'd be like hey it was like that is crazy doesn't that fucking i know i know when you walk through it in the middle of the day yeah and you just deal with

it it feels normal but at the end of the day when you really, that is fucking nuts. That's a father and son. Yeah. Hey, hey, and don't even really. Yeah. Man. It's weird. Have you ever done material about him when he's been in the audience? Yeah.

And how does he take that? He laughs. He says it like a very old. I was shitting. I did leave. I didn't even know what you called yourself. He would say like, he'll say it like this. Okay, boy, you gave me a good roasting in there.

That's how he puts it. And I'm like, all right. It doesn't even fade. One of my first jokes about it, something about like how, I was like 19 or 20 when I had this bit. It was like, I met my biological father in a coffee shop. And it was something along the lines of like, I'm like, we met, it was like a restaurant. It was like, I say it was like a family style restaurant. The Joe was like, they should make broken family style restaurants.

He's just walking like, where's the waiter? I think this guy just left. You know, that was kind of the premise of it. But it was like, yeah, but he thought it was funny. He was like, that's good. But then, but it's tough because it was i definitely had some anger where it's like you at first you're like this is great and then you're like oh i have a little bit of anger here i'm sure and then you you deal with stuff in therapy where you're like

i do have issues with abandonment like a lot of people do i also have issues but it's like also i feel dumb even like who who's like oh cool i was abandoned you know yeah who likes being around that cry but then but then i also have issues feeling smothered because my mom was for a certain so it's weird that those kind of coincide yeah you know all right i there's so much i want to talk to you about i want to get to can we switch gears sure uh uh this weird uh sex setup you were telling me about oh yeah a few stories that are – This happened like eight or nine years ago. I went on a date with a girl.

I just had a breakup. I met her on some app. It was probably Tinder or something. And I remember seeing her picture and she looked good in the picture. But then I see her, she looked even better, which is like when the hell does that happen ever? So we met this date. We went to a bar in Brooklyn, and she – I got drunk. I was going to say we got drunk, but it was me.

I was fucking drunk. And at the end of the date, I remember I like – she was so proper. I remember I kissed her, and as she like pulled away, she goes, oh, my, I didn't expect that. And I was drunk, so I was like, you better fucking expect this. And I just never – she didn't contact me ever again, which is like, you know, I was drunk. So I was like, you better fucking expect it. And I just never, she didn't contact me ever again, which is like, you know, it's fine. Like it had, I think I texted her like once or twice and she didn't message me. And then just one afternoon, months later on a Friday, she texted me like, where are you? And I said, I'm in Union Square in New York. What's up? And she writes, I want to see you and I want to get

freaky with you. And I remember writing back, oh yeah? With a question mark. Like, what do you, I don't know what the fuck to say to that. It's not like an everyday text I get. And then she writes, do you want to get your dick sucked or not? Yeah. So I was at lunch with my parents at the time.

I excuse myself, obviously. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not. I got to go. I'm getting dessert. Just not here. But you know what it was? It felt – she was so proper on the date.

It felt out of character. So I remember I called her and I was like expecting it to be some dude stole her phone. Sure. Yeah, yeah. He's going to rob me. I was like, hey, what's up? But she's like, look, I had a bad week at work. I want to see you and I want to fuck you. And I was all right so I go back to the table with my mom I remember I was with uh

Rachel Feinstein earlier today one of my best friends really funny comic and she like she's like a sister to me so I I this is what happens I'm just setting that up now but I tell my mom I said mom I have to leave. This audition just came up. And yeah, it's like fucking, I don't lie to my mom. So I feel shitty. I felt even shittier when she was like, go get him, Sam. I was like, oh. I was like, this is, well, my parents are like, good luck.

Have a good audition. Cheering you on to get your dicks off oh yeah no i felt so low and then i remember calling rachel because i was like hey just a heads up i'm going to this weird address i'm gonna like hook up with this girl but like smart it's just like it's a different apartment than when i dropped her off in and it's you know it's just i know people sublet in new york but it felt shady to me and rachel was like what the fuck is wrong with you like you're an idiot you're why it felt shady to me. And Rachel was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like, you're an idiot.

Why do guys do shit like this? And I was like. Testosterone. Yeah. I'm like, are you going to judge me or are you going to just take the initiative? She's like, fine. I hear you. So then I go to the place and I have nerves because it's in the afternoon.

And I said, hey, just meet me downstairs for a drink. And she comes downstairs and she goes, just come up. I have alcohol upstairs. And I said, I just feel better if we go to the bar. It's like a luxury apartment in Williamsburg. It's a different place. I'm like, this is weird. But then we go up to the apartment

and the only thing in the apartment is a couch and a bottle of scotch. So I'm like, this looks like a porno set. This doesn't look right. And then she pours me a scotch down and she pours me another scotch so i'm like this looks like a porno set this doesn't look yeah right and then she pours me a scotch down and she pours me another scotch i start sipping on it we start making out she starts going down on me and then she just stops and she goes i sure hope my roommate doesn't catch us and i was like yeah i also hope your roommate doesn't catch us is it a guy or girl yeah exactly i'm like let's i said let's go to your bedroom. And she goes, no, I want him to catch us. So that's when I found

out, uh, dude. And like, obviously this is the time you leave, but it's like, I'm an idiot. I was just like, all right, what I, you know, you listen to your dick. You're like, your dick's being smothered right now. I can't even hear it. It's in your mouth. My dick's like, dude, you know I have abandonment issues. Come on. Don't leave me. Not right now, bro. Not right now.

So I said, all right. I'm not your dad. I've been here since day one, motherfucker. Dude. I go to a bedroom. She starts going down to me again. And like, it's probably less than a minute, the door just opens. And it's a guy.

And he's in a tank top. He's all tatted up. He has a cast on one of his arms, which I'm just like, what the fuck? Like I don't know why I remember the cast, but it's like – Because that's the thing that could knock you out if he hit you with it. Exactly. That was one. And also I was just like, this looks weird.

Like I don't know what the hell happened. And she's going down to me. you out if he hit you with it exactly that was one and also i was just like this looks weird like i don't know what the hell happened and she's going down to me and i just like i just kind of panic and turn to him and i go can i help you she's going down to me still i say can i help you to this guy and he just goes are we gonna do this and i was like oh my god uh i said i don't i think there's been a misunderstanding and he goes, so I'm fucking terrified. And I'm like, I don't know. I'm like having images of him just like beating me with a hammer or something. And my mom having to identify the body with my pants down, you know.

And he's just like, are you in or you're out? And I was like, dude, what the fuck? I'm in your fucking girlfriend's mouth right now, bro. I'll be out of here in a minute. Exactly. They're dating, right? I still haven't pieced this together. He's like, are you in or you're out?

I'm like, is this Ocean's Eleven? I'm fucking out. What do you mean? Am I in or am I out? So I was like, I'm not. I just kind of said, I'm not this type of person. And he goes, well, the door's that way. And I kind of look at her to be like what the hell

like what have you done and she just kind of shrugged like not said nothing just shrugged and i'm like all right i'm freaked out so i'm i'm thinking like am i gonna get robbed like what the hell is this setup uh i i don't even pull my pants all the way up. I remember I had a backpack. I just like waddle over to the backpack. I put it around. I was like, all right, I'm leaving. And – Down the hallway. Yeah, and then I'm like – I'm in the hallway like looking over my shoulder grateful that I'm okay.

But also like what – that's humiliating. I'm so confused. I don't know. I'm like, was that videotape? What the hell happened? Yeah, that's a good point so i go into the uh i go into the uh elevator i go downstairs i start walking around the park in brooklyn i'm like feeling so fucking low about myself and i kid you not uh i call rachel first and she's like i'm glad you're okay i'm not mad at you you're just a fucking

idiot and i was like that's fair i deserve that After I talked to Rachel, my mom calls to see how the audition went. How'd it go, honey? More people went out for the part they'd anticipated. No, but it was brutal. I think they already had their guy cast. I told this story on something that my mom heard once, and my mom asked me, is this a true story? And I was like, I could lie to you, but I love you. Yeah, it's true, but I made it funny.

I hope when you heard it. And she goes, yeah, it upsets me that that's true, but I'm glad that you have that ability to make it funny. But shit. Yeah, that is fucking scary. It was weird. And I remember I told this to a couple of friends. This is all you have to know about comics. I told this to a couple of friends at Caroline's, I think, like the next night.

And one of my friends goes, I would have fucked both of them, dude. That's all you have to know about every comedian. It's like, whatever. It's like the most tame story to any comic. You're just like, to me, it was a little traumatizing. It is, man. To think like, also also imagine being that guy. You're okay with your girl bringing any human being off the fucking street and walk in and see me sucking this guy's dick and then you're going to come in and fuck us.

I don't know. Yeah, exactly. I don't know if there was like – Where is he coming from? He just gets all worked? Like where are you coming from, bro? Where are you coming from right now? Well, he was there the whole time. He was hiding.

So that's why I was scared. He was there the whole time. But then also, you're right. What's the procedure? Is she going through photos? He's like, I'm okay with this, dude. Is he alright? But yeah. A lot of...

And I kind of text her after, like, what the hell? And she goes, sorry, thought you'd be into that. I'm like, just on a fucking chance, you're going to assume? You think, like, if I did that to a woman,

I'd be me too at a fucking show business. But this is just okay to put me through it? Yeah. There would definitely be charges. There would be charges.

There's no doubt. Because I have a dick, I don't feel shame and terrified. That's fucking crazy. Because I have a dick, I don't feel shame and terrified. That's fucking crazy. I mean, it's ridiculous. It is ridiculous. Like, I had some trust issues on first dates afterwards.

I was definitely like looking in closets. I was like, no, we're meeting in public places. Yeah, I would too. I'd be like, why are you looking at my shower? It's like the way a little kid looks under his bed for a boogeyman. I'm like, let me just make sure. They're thinking you're weird. Oh, shit.

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I've never talked about this one, I don't think, on a podcast or anything. So what happened was, I was probably in sixth grade and I was walking to the bus stop with my friend in New York City and I remember just stopping. You have that student MetroCard in New York. So I remember stopping going,

hey man, let me just stop to get my metro card out. And right as I say that, splat. A woman jumped out of a building to her death. Suicide, you know? Splat. How close to you? I was the closest person on the street to her. 10, 20, 30 feet? I want to go

like 8 to 10 feet away. Did you get any splat on you, dude? No. That was what was weird is movies lie about that shit. There's not that much blood. What was really fucked up is she wasn't immediately dead. No. That was what was How high up do you know? Three, four stories or more? Probably more.

Holy fuck. Yeah. She wanted, she was an old woman. She clearly wanted to die. But the fact that she was I think all I remember was she goes, I'm cold. She all i remember was she goes i'm cold and uh she was speaking she mumbled i'm cold someone heard that and they walked over with a blanket for you ain't gonna have to worry about that a couple more seconds probably gonna be a brutal for you brutal dude you could have died i know i think about that sometimes and i remember

this table's six feet long two more feet that's how close to if i didn't stop to get my metro card i would have hit you right i remember uh you had a near-death experience because someone was taking their own fucking life i know that's crazy i remember thinking later like angry for a minute like you couldn't have done pills or blown your head off or something like what the hell uh but she went splat and i remember down how did she fall do you see it all in your head yeah she went like head first or flat are we talking about pancake down pancake face down yeah face down pancake nothing not a gory bloody site no it wasn't just like every bone probably turned to dust in her body probably and she said i'm cold

that's what she said to someone, yeah. And that was it. Yeah. She was mumbling. How long did you leave after that? I worked for a minute and then I was pretty freaked out. And my friend and I got into a cab and we bolted. But I remember a couple people from my school called because they were like, who was there?

And, you know, this teacher I was like, Mr. Jones, he was the best dude. He died a few years ago. He was such a cool teacher. He was like the type of teacher. He was like an old gay man. And he just like, he was just the best. I remember I got in trouble for, this is so stupid.

I did. I can't believe I'm admitting this. But I used to, my friend's dad had like, you know, color print or whatever. And we just printed out nudes on there, and we sold it as a magazine in school to other sixth graders. Entrepreneur, man.

Called Play Amigo Magazine. And he found it, and he goes, he looked at it, and he goes, he's an old gay man, and he was like, I'm just gonna say that you were looking at Sears catalogs. And I was just like, ah, he's the best. So he could have got me in trouble, and he was like, you're fine. But he called, and he was like, I just want to make sure you're okay.

I'm like, oh, I'm okay, yeah, yeah. And then I had a kid I was pretty good friends with whose mom was kind of nuts. And if she picked up the phone, you were going to hear 20 minutes from her. I was like a sixth grader. She was the type of mom where she was always really nice to me, but she would just get new pets. She'd be like well this pet's not cute anymore i'm gonna give it up for adoption like completely nuts like she'd be like i'd be like what happened to that dog you had she's like oh he grew up and it's like what it's like two years old dude there was always

a new kitten or and i'm like these are the cutest animals i've ever seen but you can't just like get rid of you know so anyway uh i call him to like check, just to be telling what happened. And she picked up the phone and it was like her just talking at me for like 20 minutes. She's like, and then this happened. And then also another thing, she's like, how was your day? I was like, I just saw someone die. And she was like, oh, well, Elliot's not home right now. And I was like, she just blew right through it.

Just blew through it. Yeah. Just, uh, do you remember the sound? Yeah. It was, it was like a thud. It was, it was loud. You just blew through it. Yeah. Do you remember the sound? Yeah. It was like a thud. It was loud. Can you compare it to anything? I'll say this.

The mind protects you in a weird way. So I remember when I first saw it, I was like, is this punked? I remember thinking, like, am I on a hidden camera show? Because you're just like, oh, maybe they're filming a movie or something. Why would a body just be falling out of the sky? You make excuses. So I was like, maybe they're filming some sort of movie

that I stumbled onto a set, you know, in Midtown Manhattan. I don't know why, but yeah, I remember it doesn't compute immediately. It takes you a second to realize. Because you're like, why would this happen in front of me or this close to me when it's that close you're just like what if that lady hits you yeah is it a murder suicide would that be a murder so i don't think there's gonna

be anyone to try but yeah that's how you'd have to classify that i think you're right fuck yeah it's a murder suicide yeah have you ever seen it since then have you ever that's your obviously probably your first dead body right yeah you ever seen it since then? Obviously, probably your first dead body, right? Yeah. Have you ever seen another one since? Yeah. In New York, you just see ambulances everywhere. So you see people getting loaded in and you're like, that guy's not doing well.

But that was the first just death I've seen for sure. Yeah. That's crazy to witness that. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. It would pop into dreams every once in a while because heights is such a – I'm scared of heights to begin with. I am now.

I wasn't before. Yeah, what changed? My daughter almost got hit by a car. What? And it rattled me and it unearthed fucking anxiety that had been laying just kicking back, waiting for something to bring it up. And boom, it did. And all of a sudden, I got scared to fly, and I got scared of heights. And not the same.

Like, when I look out a plane window, to me, that looks cartoonish. I don't fear that. But, like, a realistic height, like, I wouldn't live in a high-rise in New York City. Really? And have a balcony and walk out. No, I couldn't do it. Yeah, freestyling, too. Not anymore.

But before that, it never bothered me. It's like having a gun. Yeah. Oh, I feel't do it. Not anymore. But before that, it never bothered me. It's like having a gun. Yeah. Oh, I feel way safer having a gun. Really? I would have 20 guns in my home before I'd live on a 40th story balcony. I just mean if you get suicidal or something. You know what I mean?

Yeah, I'm with you. The balcony freaks me out, too. No, I can't. I can't. It scares me. I was just talking about this with Segura. We were in this – it was a couple years ago. It was a Vegas festival, and they had all of us up in this really nice place. Oh, did this go bankrupt, this festival? I think it did, yeah.

Yeah. I remember this. They had a balcony, and like 10 people were out there on it. And I remember walking out, and it was up there. And first of all, the height got me nervous, and I was like – and then I'm like, this is going to fucking – it's going to just snap. I feel like the weight of all you people on this is not – it's for a family normally. It's not for a party of 20 out here, and I just couldn't – I was like, excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me. I went right back at that fucking thing. I'm like, y'all can party. I hear all you want. I'm with you. I'm totally – I hate when people – you ever have that person when you're on like a high – on something – some high level and they're just like kind of like joking around, dangling off.

I'm like, that's not a fucking good – I don't like jokes that are just like someone might die. That's not my type of humor. I used to do that shit. We were kids. We'd buy the cheap seats in the upper deck at 33rd Street to go see the Orioles. And, you know, those old stadiums were like this. And we'd be sliding by my deck. I'd go, holy, don't always do that.

I'd be like, stop. God damn it. Stop doing that shit, man. It's so scary. It's a horrible joke. Also, don't do it if it's the way people actually die. Like, that used to be a news story. Yeah, yeah.

They'd fall over the rail. Like, oh, a deranged fan fell off and uh you know yeah yeah brutal what um did that start your fear of heights did you do you remember having one i definitely was like that was a moment i was like oh you could die randomly that was a thing i i thought like so it just gave me a like a fear of death i think yeah which is like probably why i tried to put out as much material as possible because I'm like, oh, I could just die

in a random way. So that was one thing. You said you did dream about it once in a while? Yeah, I would have dreams of like people splattering me. Oh, actually hitting you? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, whoa. Yeah. And you would see that in your dreams? Yeah, and I'd be like all smushed. Man, I don't know if I've, I always thought they say

if you see yourself die in your dreams, you really die. I don't know if I've, I always thought they say if you see yourself die in your dreams, you really die. I don't know if I've ever seen myself die. Really? Maybe I didn't die. I just remember the,

Just them crushing you? Crushing me, yeah, yeah. Or like, maybe I woke up before she even hit me. I remember just seeing that woman. And is it still that,

was it that lady every time? Like what you remember seeing? Do you remember what she was wearing? It was so long. I was so young when I had it. I remember it was like a gown. It looked like some sort of gown and it's morning you're on your way to school or is it coming home coming home oh shit yeah i remember

i got out of a test the next day and i was like man i'm so lucky and now i look back i'm like oh maybe i should have taken that test i remember being like i'm like man i fucking i don't have to take a test i didn't study for. They were like, you shouldn't have to take it. And I was like, all right. That's what trips me out about life is like the seconds that can actually matter. If you, what was it you stopped to look for what again? From the MetroCard to swipe out of the bus.

If you don't stop, boom. If you take that test, you know, you get a light on any other corner you don't fucking see that well you see her dead you don't see it almost hit you it's fucking that crazy yeah also that's what us why it's so important the timing's everything then you also have that thought where you're like man that's kind of a selfish way to kill yourself to jump out onto a crowded street but also then i was all i go back and forth i'm like well she's not thinking in the right she's not thinking in the right mind to take her own life. So then it's also hard to actually be upset.

Like, she's fucking dead. So, you know, that's – yeah, I knew another kid who jumped out of a – I knew a kid who jumped out of a 30-story window and killed himself. Yeah, when I was in like – 30 stories in New York? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I would never even live up there.

I feel like sooner or later it calls you to come out of those calls the void like what are you a pussy sam jump you'll be fine yeah how old was he ninth grade or something oh he was young maybe 10th grade and i was in eighth grade maybe that's how it was and it was suicide it wasn't an accident or maybe i was ninth and he was in 11th uh he yeah i think it was suicide he was like a depressed kid 30 he was always doing drugs he was like that kid that party always saw blowing lines and shit but he was like way too young for that shit and he was just like a nice guy he was just like a nice fucked up guy but uh yeah i remember that was one i was like oh i should probably not uh that was my one where I was like, oh, I should probably not.

That was my first thing. I was like, I probably should not do hard drugs because he was always doing them. And I was like, he's fucked up. But I remember at the funeral, there were people doing blow. And I'm like, ah, it's like the worst fucking people. For real? Yeah. Yeah, that's.

Yeah. God damn. All right, let's switch gears. All right, we've been down enough. You got two stories I want to hear. I want to hear a Latrell Sprewell, and I want to hear a Pittsburgh Morning TV story. Okay, I'll do...

Which one should we do first? Let's do Latrell. He was my favorite Knicks growing up. I'm such a big basketball fan. I love Starks. I love Ewing, Oak, Mace. I had to Patrick Ewing, Adidas, back in the day when I was a kid. He was just special.

I loved him. But yeah, then that next team, that older team, I loved LJ. I loved Spree. I really loved Spree well. And I mean, that guy, his whole career was insane. He choked his coach. He did. P.J. Carlissimo.

He was a Portland then, right? Golden State. Oh, Golden State. Choked his coach, and the Knicks picked him up, which we're like, okay, I mean, I'll take it. I know he's a great player, and he was awesome. It's crazy that a guy does that, and then he shows up to a huge market and exceeds expectations. So I loved him. And then I'm doing a gig in Baltimore years ago, and I get off stage.

I'm wearing a Knicks sweatshirt. I love the Knicks. I love basketball. But the host goes, you should go drink at that bar with us because we go there all the time. And Sprewell's there every night in Milwaukee. He's from Milwaukee. And I said, he's not going to be there. I'm like, every – like, he's fucking Kenny Powers.

He's just like, you know, getting lit up. He's a hometown hero there. And we're there. And I'm like, he's not going to come. He comes in. He walks in. He's got dyed red hair. He's in a sweatsuit.

He's a big dude. He's noticeable. He's at the bar and someone whispers to me, he drinks Honey Jack. And I'm like, ooh, all right. So I go over to him and i was like oh man i'm such a big fan of yours i never do this shit but i was like an idiot i was young you know and i and i said and he goes okay and i'm just like uh can i get you a drink he goes i already have a drink and i was like i'm like think what what card can i play yeah so i panic and i was like

i'm a comedian i'm playing the club next door. You should come to a show this weekend. He goes, don't count on it. I'm just like, oh, brutal, brutal. It's good writing, though. It's brutal. And then I said, all right. God damn. I'm feeling inside right now.

It hurt. It hurt. I go back to the end of the bar and then she – we're with a few other people, and one of them works for Bleacher Report. He goes, I'll handle this. And he walks over, and we just see Spree, like, losing at him. I was like, I got off easy. All right, shit. So whatever.

We watch him be kind of rude to a bunch of other people. He's not really having it. Maybe he just wants to drink alone, whatever. A couple of nights later, the bartender from the, from the bar, you know, she's at my show and she starts talking to me afterwards.

She goes, you know, he can be tough, but he's really a sweetheart. And I was like, all right, whatever. And she texts him,

look, I'll show you. I'm at the comedian who, who you met the bar the other night. I'm at his show. And Spree goes, oh, yeah, great guy. That's what he writes back. I was like, that's how he treats someone he thinks is a great guy?

She's like, he's just not warm, but he's a good guy. I was like, I think he just likes his bartender. Anyway, years later, I had a sports show on MSG. He was pretty nice. I didn't mention this story. Oh, you didn't? I was going to, but here's what happened. So I would do a cold open thing with any athlete or actor that came on the show. The joke would be they just didn't want to be there, but we'd do it in different ways.

I'd have CeCe Sabathia would be sitting there, and I'd be like, oh, dude, I'm so happy to have you. He's like, are you kidding? It's my favorite show. And I'd be like, really? He'd be like, dude i'm so happy to have you he's like are you kidding it's my favorite show and i'm like really and be like no are you kidding it's like this show stinks like and athletes would always they were down they were down to like be funny and i asked spree i'm like hey it'd maybe be funny if like you're just texting and i keep asking you uh you know i keep saying like hey you know i keep asking you questions you keep going uh-huh and you just keep nagging me and he was like no i'm not doing that he was the only person to say that so i was kind of like i already feel like we got on the wrong foot i'm not doing a character i'm not

doing me in real life well i think that's what he was known as having a hard edge with these other guys weren't so if he does that on the show maybe i. I get why now, but in the moment, I was like, I don't want to... I don't want to be choked. Yeah. I don't want to, like, piss him off twice. So I was kind of like, so, I mean, you were, you know, 99 finals. I'm just, like, trying to get away from that.

But it ended up being, like, you know, I was so nervous. That would end up being not one of my better interviews. But, I mean, dude, he was the best. Even that night after he snubbed me or whatever, I watched clips of him on the Knicks. And I was like, ah, I still love the guy. What can you do? He's the best.

Let's hear about this morning show in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. I've never had to do morning TV, morning radio. It's fun if you make it a disaster. That's what I'm saying. Like, Segura really figured it out. Tracy Morgan's the king of wrecking morning TV. So good.

I've never seen Tracy Morgan, but the Segura stuff I've seen is so great. And I've heard about Tracy Morgan. And then, yeah, I'd be like, well, the only way I'm going to move tickets on here, like, this isn't exactly my target demo is people that sincerely watch morning tv so i would just try to make it go off the rail so also you're on two hours sleep people don't realize when you're doing these shows yes you literally slept for two hours because you have a night show then you have to wake up at like six and then you have two shows that night so you're just like i'm on fumes and then also how many of these shows can you do where they do no research the questions are so phoned in where they're just like so have you always been funny and i'm just like she asked me that the woman asked me that and i go i say no actually i

uh i wasn't when i was young my uncle molested me and he was funny and he gave me spider-man like powers and they just stare at me and they go, okay then. I saw this interview now that you say that. And as I walk off, I say to the producer, they're fuming. A couple people laughed their ass off. But I said to one producer, I was like, can I get that clip? And he goes, absolutely not. Don't count on it.

Don't count on it. Well, I say, so I'm like, I don't know how to get that. That clip is so damn perfect. How do I get it? So I go on Twitter. Does anyone record Pittsburgh Today live or whatever? And someone did. It wasn't great quality, but we got it.

And Dan. That's what I saw. They won't, yeah, they won't do comics. Live, live. They won't have us anymore in those shows that you were the last comic so if you're playing the pittsburgh improv and you don't have morning tv you're welcome but that moved a lot of tickets because i call i'm like that's the only way if i'm doing morning radio and it's like a sincere radio guy who like i'm like that it was different than the energy being like coming up next uh which uh which treat goes well with this i'm like i'm not this is

not right it's so good i love that shit i love doing those i mean to to i remember seeing that you gotta go watch that video find that clip it. It's so good. I remember watching it. So what after that? You walk out and they're just pissed off? They were just like, what the hell was that? I would cushion it. I would try to build up to those moments so they would be – like I would try to answer everything very sincerely and then sneak a moment like that in because that moment would be so unexpected. So unexpected. So good. The hardest part was keeping a straight face because there was a moment where you see in the video where I'm literally, right after I say that, I say it and I look seriously.

And there's a moment where I just look at the camera and smile. You could see that I was like this close to breaking. I love it, dude. I love it. But you know what? You're right. Fuck them. Do your job.

Yeah. Do your goddamn job can you ask some real questions you can't go look me up and ask me any oh we saw a clip you did about this exactly nothing if it's sincere but then you do something where they do do that and then i'm like well i'm gonna seriously just try to kill and just joke for him with like what i would do at a show or something but then when you do the ones who are just like you could tell they don't respect what you do always been funny is so fucking like how much work did you do it's so lazy you could ask your kids last night i got this comic come on and what do you what should we ask them yeah they would come up with something better than

have you always been funny it's just you know what it is it's also them being like we're gonna do no research or no work carry the interview yes so it's like it's beyond lazy so i'm like all right i'll do what i want to do if you're gonna like give me the floor i'm gonna you know dude i um i really appreciate you coming on and it was a ton of fun to be on man i'm glad you came on and the shit you talked about with your dad so will he come to shows now like will you see him again i don't it's been a while he's pretty old i mean you said he also had this mental thing going on to break down which is like great the one thing i might inherit from you is uh that's the other thing do you have any genetic shit you

gotta worry about probably i mean i'm sure is his wife still with him yeah the lady you met and she's still cool with you too yeah she's really she's really cool she's taking care of him or whatever she's very cool um but yeah i'm sure i mean i guess other than that he's in decent health you know but that's that's a rough one i mean i'm like hey shit the one thing we need is our minds in this uh in this field you know so but he's in his 80s now you said like 86 probably that's up there maybe maybe more yeah um all right this is your first time here on the show and i ask everybody their first time on advice you would give to your after everything we've talked about advice you would give to your 16 year old self probably just like don't worry so much like it's's things are going to happen or they're not.

Are you a big worrier? My mom is the biggest worrier of anyone I've ever met in my life. Like she always thinks it's like she's like, oh, I'm glad. She sounds like Olivia Soprano when I make fun of her when she's just like, oh, I guess I'm just a big joke around here. But I love my mom but she worried i mean like i get it i'm her only biological kid she but she worried i think before that she's a worrier she's just like she'll admit it she's like i worry a ton uh i mean i literally have a bit about me walking with her and seeing a dead pigeon i go look and my mom goes don't touch it

like you're gonna what what do you think i'm gonna do so i mean that's that's her energy uh is is just constant worry and uh so yeah it does make me a little more anxious and uh yeah but then it's like well look at my girlfriend worries a shitload too i mean i think i may be attracted to that because i take worrying as a sign of love and care. So maybe that's a part of it. But yeah, I worry because of that. But then there's also a part of me that's like, who gives a shit? The worrying's covered.

But then for a period, I think when I was 16, I was like, oh no. You think things matter that don't matter. And then you grow up and you think things matter again that don't matter. That cycle repeats, and then you're like, what really matters? Is that you surround yourself with decent people who make you feel good and that you make feel good, and just that you don't waste this shit. That you have your health and that you don't waste this go-around, I guess, to sound cheesy. I do this five-minute journal every day.

And every fucking day, the first thing I put down almost 90% of the time is I'm grateful for my health. Because when I was fucked up, I went through this whole health scare a few years ago. And it's like, man, every day I wake up and I don't have to worry about pain, injury, being sick, none of that shit. Your health is – it's everything. It's crazy. It's fucking everything. Even when you have a bad cold, that first day you feel better, you're like, oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah, it's everything. And this business is – especially you. You said you love the road. I love it. It's a challenge to stay healthy on the road with all the garbage they feed you, with the easily fast food available options out there, no exercising unless you really fucking – You have to work for those. That's right.

For those exercises. Man, I was swimming at that – there was a rec center in Raleigh, and I was doing laps, and a guy next to me had a fucking epileptic seizure. While you're in the fucking pool? He got out. He was like panicking but he got out but he's like,

it looked like a dying fish on the side of the thing. He was like, it was horrible. Whoa. They had to call an ambulance. Yeah, I felt so bad for the guy

and the craziest thing is I looked at him. Lane two's open. But I looked at the guy right before it happened and I was like, that guy's in good shape like you never you never know you never know what someone's going through he was like better

shape than me so i was like he's in good shape yeah but he's got epilepsy so you don't know you don't know that's another thing like 16 like i empathy is something i've had to work on and it's really since i was a kid it was hard for me to have empathy. And as I get older, I do realize that everyone's got shit that they don't. And sometimes the best people don't bring that shit around because they don't want to burden anybody. But just because someone acts happy all the time

doesn't mean they're not going through shit. So definitely to have more empathy for people is something I'm working on as well. Yeah, me too, dude, this was great. Um, please plug everything you want again.

A lot of, I mean, I got two specials on YouTube up on the roof and I got this, uh, and then, you know, two podcasts. One's bad.

If you're into basketball, you'll love pod. Don't lie. If you're into just whatever general stuff, we might be drunk and, yeah, I'm on the road constantly. So yeah,

I mentioned a bunch of dates yeah uh i'm coming to your city so you know boston philly uh your website portland samorelle.com slash shows all there yeah all right dude thank you so much it was a pleasure man this is a lot of fun uh and as always ryan sickler.com ryan sickler on all social media. We will talk to you all next week.