The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Sara Weinshenk - Big Johnson Energy

Episode Date: August 17, 2020

My HoneyDew this week is Sara Weinshenk! Sara shares a story about being prescribed Adderall for ADD. When Sara tried to get off the Adderall, she ended up in the psych ward for 72 hours. And like a true comedian, she gave 'em a show and did standup in the psych ward! SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel & watch full episodes of The Dew there every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler SUBSCRIBE to my Patreon show, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I highlight the lowlights with y’all! What’s your story?? https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew Sponsors: Use my link and get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free! http://expressvpn.com/HONEYDEW Check out Hawthorne and use my promo code HONEYDEW​ t​o get 10% off your first purchase! https://hawthorne.co/ Hurry to Upstart dot com slash honeydew to find out HOW LOW your Upstart rate can be https://www.upstart.com/HONEYDEW Get a special offer that includes a 4-week trial PLUS free postage AND a digital scale without any long-term commitment. Go to Stamps.com, click on the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and type in HONEYDEW Go to http://omaxhealth.com and enter code HONEYDEW to get 20% off CryoFreeze and sitewide!

This episode of The Honeydew is brought to you by Stamps.com, ExpressVPN, Hawthorne, Upstart, and Omax Health. More on that later. Let's get into the do. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it from the night pan studios i'm ryan sickler ryan sickler on all social media ryan sickler.com make sure you're signing up for that email blast over there and make sure you are signed up for the youtube channel all right get over there sign up for the youtube channel sign up for the patreon the honey Get over there. Sign up for the YouTube channel. Sign up for the Patreon, the Honeydew with y'all. If you or someone

you know thinks you have a story that needs to be heard, please submit at honeydewpodcast at gmail.com We have talked to a lady with two pussies. We have talked to a guy whose dad came out when he was almost 50.

We've talked to someone whose wife was addicted to online video games and married the king from the game. We have talked to a guy who died twice. Talked to a dude who died twice. Also talked to a guy who woke up to a stranger in his bed when he was seven years old. Apparently he was terrorizing the neighborhood. So y'all got some fucking stories. submitting them we'll keep doing them uh and thank you to everybody out there in night pants nation i'm telling you guys sold out the fucking actual manufacturer so thank you very much they're all back we got night shorts hoodies mugs all that

stuff uh the website is the honeydewpodcast.com that's where you'll get all merch social media all that stuff also as i say all the time i record here at santa monica music center um if you want to take some online lessons this is the spot go to santa monica music.com use the code honeydew they will give you a free registration they'll waive that fee and give you uh what one free lesson when you sign up for a package all right now that's all out of the way let's get down to business as i always say we highlight the low lights here these are the stories behind the storytellers and uh this week our storyteller very excited to have her here first time on the honeydew ladies and gentlemen please welcome sarah weinshank y'all yay thank you i'm excited to be here thank you for having me you are thank you for putting up with me i've been

bugging the fuck out of you we made it happen we did make it happen it always takes a long time i tell everybody like it's not that easy to get schedules together even during a pandemic even during a pandemic you're a busy woman yes so thank you for making time for me thank you for having me um before we get into anything please promote everything okay i have a podcast called shank that's s-h-e-n-k it's available on all streaming platforms it's a great show i did it it's a great show i had a lot of fun so much fun um it's also on youtube under sarah wine check that out and then i did a comedy central cannabis smoking show called shanks for smoking you can find that on youtube as well and uh yeah that's it follow me on twitter and instagram princess shank yeah princess like normal right

and then another sh enk got it princess shank on instagram and twitter i made that handle not realizing that it was gonna stick with me through my 30s so now i'm a fucking princess for the rest of my life you know what i mean it's like i'm just owning it now it's like can't change the handle once you you have you feel like it's who you are well let me make you feel better about that then because i tell my daughter all the time she'll be six in october she's super into princesses and everyone's like there's a there's a whole uh group out there that's like you know you shouldn't raise your daughter like that don't be princess and whatever and i'm just like look man these chicks have been through some shit like every one of them's lost a close relative

they're all going that they got a power they don't fucking understand they got a lot of shit going on and they're getting abused they're getting treated like shit so i was like you know what it's not it's not you gotta fucking be down and then come to the top it's all about that that fucking transition and that rise fucking crown that's it that's true everyone i'm earned that fucking crown yeah and half the people out there judging will never go through what moana did some of y'all can't even swim moana's a survivor so good on you princess shank thank you so much um so let's start with where you're from originally and then we're going to get into um an interesting story you have yeah

you have a story this is the other thing too because a lot of people do a life story um kira saltanovich did one year of her life during a crazy pregnancy. So I'm excited to hear what you have to share. That's crazy. I'm excited. So you asked me where I grew up. Yeah. Where are you from? I am from the San Fernando Valley.

818. Yeah. Love it. Yeah. So I grew up in L.A., which was the valley is just like anywhere. Where in the valley did you grow up? In Encino. Encino, okay.

So I guess I had like access to LA when I was a teenager, which I took advantage of. I was a little wild. But overall, I like growing up in LA for sure. I love the Valley. Yeah. I'm like a Valley girl through and through. Listen, I love the Valley.

I lived in Sherman Oaks for, I mean, over 10 years. I loved it out there. Yeah. I love it. I like, you know, that little stretch there, too, was a great run from Encino to Sherman Oaks to Studio City. Yeah. Oh, it's really nice.

It's a nice area. Yeah. So when did you get into comedy then? Was it? 10 years ago. But were you always going to shows? Were you around? Like, what got you into that? Well, a kid i always performed like i was in theater a lot acting classes a lot and i

just wanted to be a performer and growing up in la i remember telling my parents like i want to be an actress and they're like we're not raising a child star okay so they did they weren't they were not on board at all my dad is a lawyer my mom does his accounting so they're like no yeah like i was like i wanted to go to auditions and they're like we're not taking you to auditions you're going to school and i was like there's all these kids in my class and they get a missed school to go to auditions i think i should be going to audition so that was a regular thing for kids in your school because we didn't have any if you were missing there was something going on yeah like this this guy that i had a crush on he was like um a background actor i didn't realize he was a background actor because he said he was in

the movie little rascals and i was like yeah i'm gonna go see this movie how old are you at the time third grade okay and um i had a crush on him and he was in little rascals and then i was like mom you have to take me to see little rascals so she took me to see little rascals and you could just see like the side of his arm and i was like and i still remember like that's tight though yeah i wish i was i saw you kevin yeah i saw you yeah like i wish that was me yeah um and so they they were like, no, we're not going to do that. We're not going to be like stage parents. My mom took me one day to be an extra in an Olsen twin movie,

which was like the highlight of my life. Which movie? I don't know which movie it was. I don't remember which movie it was. Were you in it or did they get like your hand? Exactly. It was my acting teacher at the time. Her like claim to fame,

I think she might've been like a hack, who knows. She was like, I coach the Olsen twins with acting. And I was like, that's gonna be my acting teacher. It was like in Sherman Oaks or Studio City. And she was like, we're filming this big movie with the Olsen twins. And if you take my class and you wanna come be a background actor, you can.

So I begged my mom to take me because I was also obsessed with the Olsen twins. So obsessed with them. And she was like, fine. And she took me to do it. And the other parents were so crazy that she was like, we're never doing that again. I'll bet. She was like, I hope you had fun because we're never doing that again. And I was like, what do you mean?

It was the best day of my fucking life. And like, I literally just remember like the Olsen twins getting their hair brushed and like freshly powdered and me being like, damn, I wish that was me. Like, come give me a touch up. You know, I just remember being like, what is this? Like, I want to be involved in whatever this process is like whatever this creative process is where you can just like play like that's what i want to be a part of and so then in like high school and stuff i did like so many improv classes and like theater stuff and did you did they offer out here in

california did they offer that kind of class in high school and improv class but it was taught at your high school it was like a theater and it was like so fun and i love that seems very la or new york to me or chicago yeah totally um so i did that in high school and it just like came very were you a good student um even though you didn't really want to do that were In high school, I had okay grades. In college, I got really good grades. Where'd you go to college? Chapman in Orange County.

It was very boring. It's the most boring school of all time. It was literally so many boring, rich, white people. I was like, Orange County is not for me. It's not like the Valley. No. There's no diversity at all everyone was like like the school that i went to there would be kids who went to the school and they were so stupid that the only way that they could get into college was if their parents donated something to the school so like this girl the dumbest girl you've ever met in your life right

full plastic surgery she was only in the school because her parents donated a wing to the school oh that kind of thing i'm thinking like we got a whole buick out back yeah no no it's not like a bench it's like it's like her last name was the name of the wing of the school. It was crazy. Yeah, you could skate by when you got some shit like that. Yeah, she'd be like, I'm going to rehab for a little while. I'll be back. And she comes back, and she's like clean.

And then she'd go away again, get a plastic surgery, come back. So the college I went to was very bizarre. And I hated it. I was like, I just want to... My parents were like, I didn't want to go to college. I just wanted to do acting. My parents were like, no, you're going to college.

And I was like, no, I want to audition for the real world. Audition for the real world. I was like, they're holding an open casting in Santa Barbara. I want to audition for that. Trust me, this is the path that I'm on. And if I get onto the real world, then I want to audition for that. Trust me.

This is the path that I'm on. And if I get onto the real world, then I'm not going to college. And they're like, you're not doing that. You're going to college. And I was like, okay, fine.

But after I get out of college, I'm going to be in the real world. And they're like, it'll still be on. It'll still be on. They're like, okay, whatever. So I went to college and I was like so over it

that I forced myself to graduate early because I just wanted to get out just took like a boatload of shit yeah got it done yeah did you commute or did you live i lived in orange county and i came home all the time i'd be like fuck orange county yeah i'm gonna go out in la and then i before i did stand up i would go out a lot in la like what was going out for you before stand up okay clubs like um the, I had like a club phase. I was like an L.A. girl.

And it was like from the time I was like 18 to 22. Okay. And it was like I had a fake ID before I turned 21, and I would go to all these clubs, and I would go like Monday I go here, Tuesday I go here, Thursday I go here. And it was like you know everybody and it's just like this empty scene of like club LA

kids and like I would go hang out there and it would be like like this is cool Nicole Richie just stopped by Paris Hilton Lindsay Lohan like you're seeing all seeing all of that and that was like before like social media was what it is now.

So it was a big deal. And it was like, oh my god, a celebrity. It was a fucking thing. And I got really sucked into that scene before I started stand-up. And then I found stand-up. And then that basically saved me. And what got you stand-up? I took an acting class. I was taking an acting class.

And my acting teacher was like you're really funny um he gave everybody different assignments he was like you have to everyone was supposed to write a monologue and for me he's like you're gonna write a stand-up set oh nice and so my first stand-up set that i ever did was actually in an acting class so you never thought of being a comedian or anything prior to that? Or did you have interest or did you, you know, did you like comedy? I loved comedy.

Did you go see shows, especially being out here? Not really. No, I just like, for me, like, uh,

one of my earliest like childhood memories was like my dad watching Robin Williams and like his reaction to it was like, I've never seen him laugh like that before. So I think there is like something like, like I just remember being like, that's a job. I can do that. Like,

let's do that. Like, how do I do that? You know what I mean? So it was always like there, but I didn't really know. I thought I was going to be an actress. I didn't know I was going to get into standup.

And then I, I did stand up in my acting class. And then I kind of just like, didn't do it for a little bit after that. Cause like, what's the next step if you're new and then i started my first show i ever did was a bringer show at the comedy store wow nice very nice bombed in front of all of my family and friends several times this is this is what every comedian i talk to it's so funny it makes sense why we're so broken and why relationships fail.

Like we, the first, overwhelmingly, the first experience was miserable. And we're still like, I'm going to do this. Yeah. I'm going to fix comedy. I'm going to torture myself for the next 10 years. I'm going to fix this guy or this girl and comedy. Yeah. Yeah.

No, you're fucking not. Yeah. I'm going to crack this case. Like this sucked the first time man i should do this oh my god so bad like the stuff that i would do when i first started i can't even think about without feeling well you have performed in some interesting places um so how about do you mind telling this story which leads up to apparently a performance as well? Yes.

Are you cool telling it? The psych ward story? Yeah. Yes. Okay. Yes. So let's back up for a second. So like in high school, my grades were like, they weren't that great. And I always felt like, not dumb, but like I didn't understand math or I didn't understand

certain subjects. Like I didn't understand math or I didn't understand certain subjects. Like I didn't have an interest in them. So my comprehend like the way that I I couldn't process it the same way. But like English, no problem. And anything that was like writing based or reading based or like memorization based. No problem. Can I say this? I was in I'm not saying this to sound like

a douche but i was in like accelerated classes yeah but math was i mean that was my i would struggle to get a 70 yeah no and i would use the gym a to cancel out that c so i could get a 3.0 that way i could get my insurance cheaper and i could get that free pizza hut pizza and shit yeah but um but i always argued like why does it have to be if you're in one of the gifted and talented classes you gotta be in all of them like it was like it's all or none i was like that's fucking bullshit i'm i can't i did intro to calculus i i audited they wouldn't let me i wrote a fake letter saying it was from my mom and that i was academically misplaced when i was a senior and they made me sit in a calculus class but i was on audit no yeah that's crazy yeah so um so okay that's just kind of like the backstory so then when i got to college a lot of people were taking adderall in college to like crank out the papers and like get the shit so from what i know meth is very

popular for focusing and running those long nights but adderall snorted right people snorting it i would we would just take like take it just take it yeah it wasn't like we're snorting and is it a speed thing it is but like i also like as a kid i definitely think that i had add like i had a trouble like sitting down and like focusing and doing shit because i had like so many different ideas i think that kind of just comes with like the territory of like being a creative person sure and not everybody learns the same way and at all you know so there's so for me it was like so then i started taking adderall and in college my grades were like incredible. So did you immediately notice a difference on Adderall? Like, whoa, this is yes.

This product productivity wise. Yeah. OK, like I could just like. But not your focus necessarily. All of it. All of it. I could do anything and it felt like I was like a genius and it was also easy for me. On Adderall.

genius and it was all so easy for me on Adderall and so then after college and like I think that like our uh society rewards people for productivity like everything's so action-based like what are you doing what are you doing what are you doing and um so after college I, before I, well, okay, I started stand-up, and then I started stand-up, and then I also had a personal assistant job during the day. Okay. So I would do the personal assistant job during the day, and then I would do stand-up at night. So my day would start at, like, 8.30 in the morning, and then it wouldn't end until, like, 2 in the morning. Yeah. So I went to a

psychiatrist and they prescribed me adderall so then i started taking adderall throughout like that whole time and i was like able to get everything i needed to do done and i felt like i was killing the game then but like also i was just on meth basically prescribed i'm like i'm killing the game i'm a total bitch to be around because i'm coming down from meth right now um but like i am killing the game my closet's never been fucking cleaner everything's color-coded i know where everything is like i felt like untouchable but you know it's bad for you while you're taking it because it's like you're not sleeping you're not you don't you not as much no you're not getting proper sleep you're just not operating like a fully functioning person in the same way

you know what i mean but you can do a lot um so what happened was i decided that i wanted to get off of it because i was like this is not it just felt like i wasn't being authentic to myself and it honestly started to feel like it was like stifling my creativity because it was like after how long at what point like months a year how long like five years years okay five years five years it was a long time let's take a quick break and tell you about our first sponsor, Hawthorne. So I've told you about Hawthorne already a few weeks ago, and I'm telling you, as far as the men's products go, they're the best. My stepson, he took them.

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Now, let's get back to the do. And during that, you were like, I got this shit. I got this shit. During it, it was all very manageable. I thought it was manageable, but internally, I knew I didn't want to be on this. I didn't want to be like needing to take a pill every day to like do what I had to do. Right.

But I also just felt like I was killing it. So why would I get off of it? So I talked to my psychiatrist and I was like, I really want to get off Adderall. And he was like, okay, we'll just start like weaning down. And down and then i'm like okay can you like tell me how to do that so like just take less of it so i just started taking less of it like half pills half pills and i and it was like i felt so tired all the time when i like decreased the dosage instantly like so tired but like not just like so tired it feels like you're like coming down from like drugs and like you don't feel God. It's just like bad.

And then the what happened was Brody died. And I was like, I'm not going to take my medication anymore because I just want to sleep. And so I just completely like I was so depressed I just cut it cold turkey and I went into like a crazy like psychosis for real so it was like right around that time because I was like I just want to be asleep like I'm so sad about this like and then I just stopped taking my medication and like within like 72 hours I went into like a psych. What are you starting to notice first? What's the first thing you're starting to feel weird? I didn't notice it.

My roommate at the time was like, bitch, you're crazy. Really? Yeah. You had no idea. I was just like, there was so much happening because Brody had just died. So I was like, that was so sad to me. And I just stopped taking my medication completely. because Brody had just died. So I was like, so like that was like so sad to me that like, and I just stopped taking my medication completely. And that affects like your brain chemicals and your serotonin levels.

And there's like a way to taper off of it that a doctor is supposed to guide you through the process. And all the way out till it's done. Yeah. And I just did it myself. And my roommate was like, called my parents and was like sarah's like not doing well my parents really what are you doing that she's seeing that i'm doing i'm waking her up at eight in the morning i'm like hey what's up she's like get out of my room what are you doing

and i was like uh can i tell you something can i do this like uh do you want to go to breakfast she's like no just like completely off the rails and just like um it's like like putting things together that didn't really make sense and like saying things that didn't really make sense like i'm trying to think of like i mean like i was definitely in a psychosis because my parents were like, are you on drugs? And I was like, I'm not currently on drugs, but I've done a lot of drugs. That was your answer. They're like, which drugs? I'm like telling my mom about my mushroom trips and like my acid trips and like all this shit. And I was like, it was a very beautiful healing experience, which is like, obviously, I wasn't operating as my normal self because I was just like divulging all this stuff to her.

But yeah, just like all over the place, completely all over the place. I can't remember like the details because it almost feels like I like blacked out. Okay. But I remember like some highlights of the whole experience. So, yeah. So, basically, my parents were like, there's something wrong with you because i was acting really abnormal to the point where like we have to call the police the police the police yes because that's what um to get me into the psych ward because they didn't know what was

going on because they didn't realize that i was on adderall they didn't know okay so i was like i took i took adderall but I'm off of it now. And they're like, okay. Basically, they thought that maybe I was losing it or a full drug addict. They had no clue what was going on. I didn't really know what was going on. So then like 12 cops come to my parents' house. Are you for real?

For real. What time of day is this? I mean, it's like 6 30 p.m and they come and i and i charmed we couldn't get that for the fucking riots out here sarah i charmed them i charmed them out of taking me to the psych ward how'd you do it i was like i'm fine like yeah it was like very cooperative like whatever they wanted i did and then they left and then i like went off the rails later that night like was having a full mental breakdown like crying hysterically and like just like a mess just like the combination of like the brody stuff mixed with getting off of this like yeah getting off of prescribed meth like pushed me

over the edge um and so basically like then i had to ride in an ambulance to a psych ward they did check you in they checked so they pick you up at your house they pick me up in my house and i remember all the neighbors outside and shit is everybody watching i truly don't know but it was a spectacle for sure i'm sure remember getting into the way'm sorry. 12 cop cars show up. They leave. 12 cops show up. They leave. Ambulance shows up. Ambulance shows up. Next. I mean, there's a situation over at the wine shank house all year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone on the street's like, oh, this bitch is, what's going on?

It's all up here. Is that that actress? Yeah. So I get into the, I remember the ambulance pulls up and I am like on another level. I'm like, oh, my chariot has arrived. Did you say that? Yes.

I was like, my chariot has arrived. I'm skipping into the ambulance like all fucking happy. Like totally. Do you remember? You remember that. I remember being like, oh, my chariot has arrived. And I remember sitting in the ambulance and there is like this hot black guy in the ambulance with me. And his last name was Johnson.

And I yell out of nowhere, big Johnson energy. I was like, and then I start laughing hysterically. I like think I'm crushing it with like the ambulance people. I'm like pounding him. I'm like, yeah, what's up? What's up? I'm like friends with all these people. It was crazy

i get to the hospital oh god i get to the they take me to the hospital before they take me to the psych ward i don't know why what hospital encino hospital okay made a big appearance at encino hospital did you kill there i kill no i made a scene there i was like listening to like i remember just like listening to music and being like um this song is perfect for right now in this moment it's like you're in the hospital having like a mental breakdown i don't know it was just crazy but basically um then they gave me like a tranquilizer so that they could take me to the psych ward and figure out what was going on with me because i was not making sense so i just wake

up in the psych ward and i'm like where the hell am i okay wait what is that like you wake up and what is the room is it okay the room is you have two roommates they're in there with you you wake up the strangers in there yes well that's creepy that's fucking weird i've never woke up with people in my room. You wake up. That you don't know. Yeah. Check out the honeydew with y'all. Some guy did though.

That, yeah, yeah. So fucking crazy. So I wake up and I don't remember really anything because they like tranquilized me to get me in there. And my roommate in the psych ward, two roommates goes, are you okay? And when your roommate in the psych ward is asking you if you're okay. Which concerned. And I'm like, like yeah i'm totally

fine like what and she's like you were like screaming last night you were making a huge scene i was like i was and she's like yeah i'm like i have no recollection of that at all and everyone was like are you okay i'm like i'm great are you guys okay what are you all doing yeah um i was like the crazy person at the psych ward because i was like coming down from adderall and like hadn't slept in like a week holy shit so like the combination of like sleep deprivation mixed with like grief mixed with like not getting the proper like brain chemicals that you're supposed to get just like pushed me over the edge and put me in like a psychosis

so i had to stay at the psych ward for three days and being at the psych ward is the craziest shit ever tell me the describe the room that you're in that you stay in mostly okay well there's your bedroom area and you go there at night that's it pretty much it but it's like very clean the place that i went to was actually like a nice one i can't a nice one which i can't imagine what a not nice one would be like um but the room they like clean it a lot and there's like three beds lined up there are no bunk beds just three no just three lined up and then you have a bathroom that you share with your three roommates and is it in an open floor plan? Yes. Or is it doors shut? No privacy?

There's doors, but they take your phone. They take all your personal belongings when you arrive. Shoe laces. Shoe laces. And I remember looking down at my shoes. Do you remember what you were wearing? Yeah. Oh, what I was wearing was insane.

Okay, I had this pajama shirt. It was like, for some reason, I was like, this is what I was wearing was insane. Okay, I had this pajama shirt that was, it was like, for some reason, I was like, this is what I'm going to wear. And it was like, because I love clothes, but like the outfit was insane. I had on a, it was like a toy soldier, like pajama Christmas shirt. So from the top, it looked like I was a toy soldier. Oh, I get it. it yeah not toy soldiers all over but like the outfit it was like the outfit like kind of like the gold like things like this and like i was just like a toy soldier you gotta get that i was like like bring bringing some heavy

princess energy to the fucking psych ward and then like mismatched socks like if you saw my outfit you'd be like yeah she belongs in the psych ward which is unusual for me because i always wear i'm always like on point with you i was you took the words out of my mouth i even messaged you you were on point you were all i can't imagine what you'd be going in yeah so i so i had a toy soldier shirt on top and then i had 101 Dalmatian shoes. And they took the shoelaces out of them because the headspace I was in was like, oh, yeah, 101 Dalmatian shoes. Fuck yeah. Like, I feel like I really regressed during my psychosis.

Like, I became very childlike. Okay. And I had these, like, 101 Dalmatian shoes on and they didn't have any like fucking shoelaces and i remember looking down at my shoes and being like this is some mentally ill shit like to be wearing 101 dalmatian shoes and you don't even have the laces so that you don't kill yourself like that's insane it's the bomb i had to throw out the 101 dalmatian shoes i'm like uh it's time to let these go you know what i mean You're a grown woman. I love that that's what it took for you to finally get through.

You're a grown woman, bitch. Throw out the 101 Dalmatian shoes. What are you doing? Like, pull it together. So I remember just like looking down at my shoes and being like, ugh, I can't believe I don't have shoelaces. So insulting. So gross.

Like, I just. Okay, I'm trying to think what else happened so basically they give you medication while you're there whatever you meet with a doctor in the psych ward and they just like medicate you to keep you like in check and you have to take whatever they give you you don't even know really what they're giving you really yeah they're like here's your medication and you haven't been able to tell anyone look i'm i took adderall you haven't been able to tell anyone that yet i meet with a doctor and they tell you and like i'm like i took adderall i stopped taking it and they did this and they just like i think they give you like um anxiety medication basically like

my parents just didn't know what was going on with me and they thought that i was like a harm to myself so they're like we just want to make sure and were And were you aggressive at all or physical with anyone else or yourself? I was just, like, very, like, traumatized by what had just happened and, like, very sad. And then also I hadn't slept. And also just, like, my brain chemicals were off. Like, I definitely needed help for sure. So, like, in hindsight, it's pretty much, much like the best thing that's ever happened to me because i'm off adderall but uh it was a fucking journey i mean i remember like it was easier to

get like an anxiety medication than it was to get chapstick or like a cough drop i was like can i get a cough drop and they're like because i was yelling so much i remember yelling so much and they're my voice was like all like scratchy and i was like can i get a cough drop they're like we you actually had a cough drop 30 minutes ago so technically we have to wait another hour really i was like for a fucking cough like they have a weird rule so like who eats cough drops as prescribed like you follow the exact rules on the cough drop bag i could like i didn't know they had finished a cough drop bag in like an hour yeah you know yeah that's how i feel it's a candy what

do you mean i just want something to suck on while i'm in the psych ward um like come back not yet i was like okay um and i just remember here's some lithium yeah yeah exactly the other people that were walking around were fucking insane too i remember yeah what do you remember this okay so this girl who had like this shaved head she was like she became my friend she kept asking me these questions and i was like she's like i need a lawyer and i was like i need a lawyer too and my dad's lawyer so i called my dad i'm like hey dad i need a lawyer and he's like for what and i was like to get me out of the psych ward he's like you're not coming out of there you have

to stay there for three days that's part of it and i was like oh so you can't be my lawyer to get me out of here he's like no i put you in there your lawyer put you in i was like oh shit damn good point maybe you'll have better luck with my dad. Yeah. I just remember there was this guy. So they have like this pay phone, which it's like, why do they have a pay phone? It's like a pay phone. Like old school pay phone? Yeah.

It's like in the middle of the hall. And it has a very short cord because they don't want you to hang yourself. Is that right? Yeah. It's like the shortest cord you could ever imagine. So you're like, you have to talk like this. It's in the middle. It's like, it's literally, it's in the middle of the hall.

So it's like, if you make a phone call, then everyone can see what's going on. So there's this guy that came out, and I just remember, he had no pants on. He just had on like a night, like some type of like- Night pants? Night gown. No night pants. It was like a like a night like some type of like night pants night gown it was like a like a shirt that was short and then his like he had on like brief underwear and i could see his balls and his butt and he was like on the phone like calling his wife and i was just like i got someone in the

psych ward i was like can you ask this guy to put on some pants because i keep looking at his balls and they're like they're like short short princess wants you to put on some pants yeah but then there's like okay so then there's like an entertainment room that's where you hang out okay in the entertainment what sort of games are you allowed to play if you can kill yourself all the cookies are in there playing games so it's like taboo okay which that goes hard yourself with can't kill yourself i mean you could probably beat them out with the buzzer yeah yeah categories they have magazines in there they have tv they have coloring books they have and if you're and as because i was like regressing so i was like

coloring non-stop how was your color were you good you stay in the line ward. How was your color? Were you good? Did you stay in the line? I was killing it. Yeah. I was killing the coloring game. And then, okay, the food in the psych ward. We have to talk about the food. Okay. So the food in the psych ward, shockingly good. Really? I mean, the chicken feta. First of all, they have something called chicken feta.

Feta chicken. I don't know what it is. I don't know if that's just something they make there. But I was like, this is incredible. This is literally the best. Like, I give the psych ward one star, but I give the feta chicken five. I give the psych ward chef a five star. Yeah.

But the funniest was one night. I go, what's for dinner? They go, a McRib. Excuse me? You're giving, a McRib. Excuse me? You're giving me a McRib? You guys are ripping off McDonald's McRib in the psych board, and that's what you're feeding me? Loved it, by the way.

Was it a real McRib? No, it was like your version of a McRib. The MacRib. What am I? That was, to me, the funniest thing. You loved it. I thought it was the funniest thing of all time like what alternate universe am i in where like they're giving me a mcrib and it's good and like the feta chicken's incredible and then so like in the entertainment

room i started talking to like the other inmates or whatever the other hostages and they're like i'm like i do stand up and they're like really i'm like yeah you guys want to show they're like yeah i'm like cool okay so i start doing stand-up for like you did stand up at the psych ward yeah i was like why not i have a live audience did you remember your set that was clear i know so there's like um there is a pepper shaker on the, in the like. You got balls, girl. You have balls. There's a pepper shaker by like, in the same, in the area where everyone was hanging out.

And it was the only thing that kind of looked like a mic. So I start using it as my mic. You didn't even have a real mic? No, I started doing it with the pepper shaker. How many people were there? Probably like seven. That's what it's like now probably yeah and look the guy the psych ward guy comes in or whoever's in charge like you can't do you can't use the they gave you the light he lit me for using the pepper shaker as a mic and i go come on i go why can't i use the pepper shaker as a mic?

It's fine if I sprinkle it on food, but if I use it like this, that's a problem? I didn't understand. I was so appalled. So then I couldn't use the pepper. They took away the pepper shakers. I had to use my fist and pretend like I had a mic. Improv. Space work. Then I started networking with the people at the psych ward.

I'm giving away my Twitter handle, which I don't really remember, probably because that was on anti-anxiety meds so i'm like they don't want to open for you i go hey follow me on twitter i tweet and so i get back i get back from the psych ward and i tweet um like hate something about how i was the most popular girl in the psych ward like as a joke i thought it was funny to myself i thought i was killing it this chick who started following me from the psych ward responds and goes actually to be honest i think dara was more and i was like what the hell yeah yeah oh my god so wait all right you're in there you did a lot in three fucking days by the way good for you see that's that hustle yeah did you sleep comfortably there

i'm curious did you were you able to give you like it was the first time i actually was able to sleep in like a long time because they give you like medication that helps you okay so they're knocking you out they're basically like drugging you into like submission and you're like okay and then after i got out of the psych ward i got a psychiatrist and then from there i've been fine so like it's all been fine since then so what what happens when you get out like well when you get out you feel like an actual crazy person because you're like wait i was actually in a psych ward because if you would have told me that I was going to end up in a psych ward ever in my life, I would be like, you're insane. That's never going to happen to me.

So afterward, it's like this like trauma of being like held somewhere against your will basically for three days and like realizing like the repercussions of taking prescribed meth for five years you're right yeah and so you're like oh it wasn't just like a there's like no easy pill to like get exactly what you want no you know what i mean there never is never um so yeah so afterward i had to be in like therapy and try to figure out, you know, whether or not I needed to be medicated for ADD and I don't need to be because it's like when I was taking Adderall, like I was a personal assistant doing like data entry. It's a lot different than being a stand up or. Yeah, hell yeah. Or being a podcaster or, you know what I mean? So luckily I've been able to, like, be fine. And, like, my life has become exponentially better from getting off of Adderall. And it's just scary that so many people are prescribed it, especially children.

Yeah, I didn't even know that. And this is all news to me. Didn't know anything like that could happen. It's really bad for your nervous system have you met prior to this did you know that could happen or have you ever met anyone since that this happened to no no no um but my psychiatrist thought it was like a combination of like the grief mixed with like cold turkey not taking the medication yeah he's like that's why you can't just not take something you've been taking for five years and just yeah wing it yeah so what was therapy like

i mean are they trying to dive deep on you to see if there's real shit going on or they sort of yeah it was up yeah no i went to like a lot of therapy i went to first it was like twice a week did you ever go before this incident yeah i had therapy before but um this therapist was like the therapist that i went to was like a genius and like really understood like the brain and like neurology and just everything and he was just amazing and basically like saved my life great yeah yeah so for a while it was therapy twice a week now i go once a month and yeah let's take a quick break and tell you about our next sponsor upstart during these economically turbulent times everyone is looking for a way to feel more financially secure so if you're still needlessly throwing money every month at high

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Now, let's get back into the do. Do you talk about this in stand-up as well? No, well, okay, this is the thing. A lot of my stand-up is dry, observational stand-up as well no well okay this is the thing um a lot of my stand-up is like dry observational stand-up um and i was trying to incorporate the psych ward material into um my stand-up and then the pandemic happened so like my goal is to incorporate it into my stand-up when stand-up comes back because like there's something about the mcrib and like it lives as a psych war the rest of the year when it's not at mcdonald's i like that

there's also something about like back you guys i love food you know where the best chicken i've ever had in my life is it's like it's so crazy because i had like so much shame associated with it and it was such like a moment that like i felt like defined me and i was like shame in what way like of like i'm crazy i went to the loony bin that's like a thing that doesn't really happen for three days yeah but like it's it's just like it takes like a second to process the fact that you went to that place i i would imagine it would be like if you go to jail and you weren't expecting that to happen too it's like the same type of feeling because you're like being held somewhere against your will and like you have no control over it um but yeah it took me like a while to like get to a place of

like comfort with it i mean i talked about it on my podcast after it happened just because i felt like i had to because it feels like you know like mental health stuff is so it it affects so many different people and especially in so many ways so many ways and especially especially now with the pandemic and stuff it's like you know it's sometimes it's okay to need help and it's okay to not be okay and like that doesn't make you any less strong or you know or human no so overall it was a good thing because i don't think i would have ever been able to get off of adderall because it is so addicting you think you'd still be on it yeah you do yeah yeah because like it's impossible to do anything when you're getting off of it

if that makes sense yeah so a psychiatrist i mean obviously you like marijuana so that's interesting because that's more of a relaxing thing than an upper i mean but weed makes me focus like that though yeah well not like that though not like that not yet i'll be like let's do this for an hour and get all that done all right let's yeah now i just smoke weed yeah i'm like weed the occasional mushroom trip that's it and some water yeah what else do you fucking need nothing that is it i'm yeah so do your parents or anyone in your life that knows you went there did any of them ever look at you with that little or doubt you or think anything like has it been a little like oh she's going crazy again have you had that no not since no I mean like I think my parents are like

after it happened they were like hyper focused on me for a second, which was weird. I was like, a woman in my 30s. Because they started taking Adderall. You guys doing Adderall? You guys want Adderall right now? You guys take my Adderall? You just said hyper. It is weird to be a woman in your 30s.

Mom, the pantry looks great. Those guys take it. As a woman in your 30s to be monitored by your parents. Totally. I could totally understand that weird yeah um but to their credit they were like really there for me they were more supportive of this than you actually wanting to do uh child acting yeah way more supportive that's great yeah that's what parents yeah they helped me yeah uh they helped me pay off my ambulance bill which the whole trip is not

was not cheap i would have preferred a vacation yeah i bet put send me to the bahamas to get clean yeah you know what i mean yeah for real leave me here on a beach yeah same price serious leave me here on a beach for a month yeah so you what was it like being off adderall i mean was it now i just feel like i have like my life back like i just feel like i'm i'm more happy yeah when i was on it because like you've been off now for what a year and a year and a half and you do you're happy off of it yeah Good. I'm like happy and I'm just more creative and just like more my authentic self because I'm not just like, oh, got to go do this. Got to go do this.

Got to go do this. You know what I mean? Like I'm not. Waking your roommate up at 8 a.m. Yeah. Wake up, bitch. You want breakfast? What are you doing in my room?

I don't know. Calling people who I shouldn't be calling at like 7 a.m crazy like what's going on like several times like stuff like that did you have to send like as part of therapy and stuff did they ask you to send apologies to anybody or anything like no they didn't make me do that i've gotten those over the years oh like an ex like four years later but i just want to let you know i'm like oh you're in you're in therapy every time like oh and i always write back hey no worries yeah you know we were all good take care yeah it's always another anonymous here 12 stepper yeah no i get them all i've had food addiction email me i've had sex addiction email me i've had fucking uh cocaine addiction email me all years later all i'm like hey i just want to let you know i was an asshole

it's all good yeah yeah yeah so no I didn't do any formal amends. No. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's nothing to be embarrassed about. I get it, though. I get it. Well, when you have your 101 Dalmatian shoes on and they don't have any shoelaces in them.

In your 30s. And you're in your 30s. You said you're a grown woman, bitch. You're a grown woman, bitch. What are you doing? You're begging for a cough drop? Please, can I get a HALS? I don't have a problem with that, just so you know.

Can I get a chloroseptic spray? Like, no. So since then, do you get like, do you meditate? What do you do to help focus? I exercise every day. Okay, what do you do for exercise? Four miles a day minimum. Running, hiking, walking?

Walking or hiking. Wow, no matter what, you just get out and move. Yes, I haven't done it today, but I do it every day. That's the main thing. And like, I have to be like out in nature. And do you find like when you walk for me i'm asking because when i walk and i listen to music i'm never more clear like and open you know what i mean like especially out in the sun it feels so good we're lucky to be in southern

california so like i turn my phone i off or i put on airplane mode and then i just play music and then so no one can bother me and then I just do my walk and then after that I'm like able to focus I mean the thing is I can focus on comedy podcast writing stuff that I'm excited about yes and like that's what I'm not math they're not like data entry and not like an excel sheet and like i think that that's where there needs to be changes and like the way that kids learn and like there isn't just a one size fits all type of education and not everyone has the same strengths so i think it's like i know if i have kids i want to encourage them to like explore different learning styles and just stuff like that because

i think i it's like if you don't fit into like this box of like what it means to be like a good student or then there's like weird pressure you know what i mean yeah and we were talking before this about just college in general it's a fucking money trap for so many people and you know you really a lot of times how many directors and everything else we know coming out of usc and you guys are fucking working in starbucks you know myself personally did you go to usc no i went to chapman oh yeah you said chapman that's right hell is it it really was it was like did you feel like unaccepted or just overlooked or what break it down i felt bored

i was like this is the most sterile it would seem perfect from the outside because it was like a or just overlooked or what? Break it down. I felt bored. I was like, this is the most sterile. It seemed perfect from the outside because it was like a private school. It's expensive to go to. It was like a lot of rich kids everywhere. Like rich kids. Like blonde rich kids. I felt like I was diverse because i had dark hair

i was like does anybody like me because i have dark hair like everyone was fucking blonde with blue eyes and i felt like i woke up in like this weird dystopian hell and i didn't want to be in a sorority because i went to all girls catholic high school so i was like oh man yeah i'm done with bitches you know what i mean like that's that's what's weird is because like i spent so much time around women in high school that it's been interesting to now spend so much time around men because of stand-up it's been such like a different boy what a group to be spending time around these days i know but i love comics i miss all my comic friends too from being like in the house yeah yeah we're all stuck in the house yeah so like adderall if i can compare

it to anything it's like the mountain dew of prescribed pills okay because mountain dew is like kind of cracky that jack yeah yeah yeah cracky yeah all right so I want to ask you some more stuff yeah with

well I mean with comedy right now being where it is what are you doing to stay focused without do you ever want to go have you ever thought about going back do you ever feel like you need that shit again? Like how are you keeping? With what? Adderall?

Yeah. No. You're never. You're done. No. I don't even want to be around anyone who's on it. Because I know that place that they're at. And it's not a good place.

Even though it feels good at that time. It's weird because I think that if we're having to give people prescribed speed to function in society then there is something wrong with society amen you know what i'm saying like that that no yeah especially kids especially yeah you're right children is because there's so many of them on then you got add adhd i don't even know what the hell the real signs are yeah put them in sports put them in like a play put them in something else like the energy out some way else yeah totally and like i think that um like encourage different like extracurricular activities especially too i think so how are you staying focused right now exercise is a big part of it coffee i have my coffee i have my coffee i exercise i have like no problem focusing on

podcasting writing um making video content like that's what you love i love doing it so it's like all fun and playful for me it's the and even like and it was like once i quit my personal assistant job i just wanted to get off of it and i was already taking the steps to get off of it but i don't think i would have been able to do it fully myself without that hole yeah isn't that crazy yeah i mean no i didn't mean it like that no sorry no no i'm not easily offended about the word crazy don't worry all right but right. But isn't that something? It's insane. You would have to fucking go through something like that.

Like it's, you know, we talk about it all the time. Like there's no way to even try to convince somebody in the middle of that shit that you'll see. You'll see. This will be the best thing that ever happens to you. Best thing that ever fucking happened to you is that you did three days at a fucking psych ward. Yeah, 100%. Even though Dara was more popular.

I mean, number two's not bad. You were only there for three days. I thought I was killing the game. That girl. Hecklers everywhere. Bitch on the psych ward is heckling me now. Oh, this comedy store princess one of my roommates from the psych ward called me post psych ward to check and see if i was

doing okay and i was like in my which was nice but in my head i was thinking it's not a good sign when the your roommate from the psych ward is following up with you to make sure you're okay i was like are you okay bitch what about me do you know what other people were in there for do you remember there's like because it always blows me away when you like people go to prison and it's like i just stole a car and they're like yeah well you're in there with a guy that killed seven people one girl who was in there for a long time she had been in there for two or three weeks and she was like i don't know what was going on with her because like everyone seems if you like go with the flow and you have good behavior they let you out so it's like i don't

know what she was doing before i got there to be in there for two weeks, but she must've been acting a fool before I got, but then when I came, I was like the one that was a little wild. So I don't really, yeah, but I don't remember it.

Cause they tranquilized me to get me in there. I guess they, I was like kicking and screaming a lot. Don't you wish you could, there was a video. Go back and watch yourself when you want yourself to be like, I did that. Yes. because i was out of control i can't imagine you being like that i was fucking insane it was insane i was making dick jokes in the ambulance

and then i started laughing and like high fiving you and then And then like, I'm crushing right now. Yes! Amazing! It's crazy. Those wearing crazy outfits. They probably tell everyone that fucking story. Like this one time this little white chick got in here and said to Ernie over there,

Hey man, Big Johnson's out of here. And he fucking loved it. There's no way you've seen so much shit if that doesn't make you laugh and make my face hurt that is so good i would have been like what the fuck yeah i don't know where i'll put y'all my guests follow me on twitter i can't believe yeah i was writing out princess shank and passing it around that's my handle follow me are you guys on social media follow me it's like why are you not working at the psych ward go home that is so i mean sorry to laugh no yeah i know where that's what we do here but you know god damn it is funny.

It really... If I could get that chicken feta, I wonder if they do delivery. Right now, they probably would love to do it. Can we get that chicken feta? Go ahead. Just for memories. You know what I'm saying? Just a little...

Old time sake. You know what I mean? I'll promote it on the podcast. I'll put it on my Instagram story if you could hook me up with a counterfeit McRib. I want to try it now. It's fucking incredible. I really do. I don't know if I want to do what it takes to get there to try it, but I definitely want to.

I can give you the cocktail. Take a bunch of Adderall and then just stop and see what happens. I mean, I dated a girl very briefly one time that was on some kind of. ADD med? Yeah, or like a. And wasn't properly, Jesus Christ, properly weaning off of it either. And she would do like this. I'm like, what's going on?

She's like, I'm getting these like electrical charges that are. Maybe it was like Alexa Pro or something like that. And I'm like, oh, I have heard that about. And she would. Yeah. And I was like, listena pro or something like that and i'm like oh i have heard that about and she would do it like yeah and i was like listen this isn't gonna work it's a wrap i'm like what's happening like these electric impulses i'm like why don't you talk to your doctor yeah how to get off of that shit probably because you're fucking weird me out that was a wrap on that was a couple dates and i was like yeah no i'm not gonna watch you twitch from electric get off your shit right yeah no it's like because like i didn't realize that it's like a controlled substance that you actually have to like wean off of in like a proper way

and like probably the best way to get off of it is to go to like a rehab not to just like do it cold turkey because you feel really sick when you're getting off of it too you're like sweating and shit yeah sounds like that sounds like heroin withdraws like no it is getting off of it is was honestly so bad that it's it's so bad that you would never want to be on it again that's how i felt i hear you yeah have you ever had a reaction like that to any medic are you allergic to anything or no not really had you ever blacked out or anything before drinking yeah from drinking yeah but not from like an actual like psychosis but it was the combination of like lack of sleep mixed with um the fucking not taking the medication. And Brody and all the trauma. It was like so much trauma in such a small amount of time.

But basically it saved my life. Isn't it? Which is crazy. There's that. Yeah. Because I don't know if I would have because I knew for a long time I wanted to get off of it.

But I don't know if I would have been able to. At least, like, not in the society we were living in pre-pandemic because everything was so, like, you have to – I felt like I'm a perfectionist, too. So, for me, Adderall was the perfect storm because it's, like, look at how clean everything is. Look at how organized everything is. Look at how organized everything is. Because I can be organized, but it doesn't come, like, really naturally to me. I have to, like, try to be organized. But on Adderall, I was like, everything's fucking organized. It's never looked better, bitch.

Well, I really appreciate you coming on and sharing sharing all this this is i've yeah that's an amazing story i had no i i'm glad thank you because i don't i hear kids in like already in my daughter's classes are on this stuff and and you know i always get worried about anytime you're putting kids on any kind of medication yeah like if you're a parent and you're thinking about it or if you have a kid that's on it and they really like second, take another look at that because it's like. All right. So let me ask you then, since first time here, advice for your 16 year old self. Stop going to the tanning salon.

You used to do that a lot. Oh my God. Full addiction to that. Really? And Encino too, huh? You have no idea. How many times a day once a day okay but every day every day every day for how long year at least a one to two years and did you get any

kind of melanoma cancer no but i got i looked so dark because my mom is puerto rican so i can get dark so i was like a different ethnicity. If you look at my college ID, I don't have it. I wish I did. But I look like, you can just see my teeth and like the whites of my eyes. The rest of me is like so tan. I look like a fully like ethnically

ambiguous. You'd be like, what? I remember I went to like, I was obsessed with tanning. I got like a spray tan for prom. And my date was Indian and I was darker than him. Come on. I swear to God. I swear to God.

And I was like, maybe I should have done the level three spray. Like there's different levels of tan. Yeah. I did level three and I was like orange like dark burnt orange dye what happened when you showed up was he like what the or his parents like you got a nice indian girl i don't even remember i just like i was obsessed with tanning i was like uh i'm really glad i got a tanning and adderall

because that could have been just like like a leather face yeah you're right like adderall bitch with like neon pink nails like for a while i was doing neon pink nails with the tanning i was like this is a great look man this is a hot look people don get it. These nails are on point right here. This is who I am now. Much better. Well, thank you so much. Thank you for coming on and sharing all that. Will you please, again, promote whatever you'd like?

Yes. Follow me at Princess Shank. Princess like normal and then another S-H-E-N-K. Check out my podcast,ank sh enk uh wherever there's podcasts all streaming platforms that's what i was looking for spotify itunes blah blah blah youtube sarah wine shank check out shanks for smoking on comedy central digital and uh that's it awesome thank you so much thank you you. I really appreciate you coming. It was a good time.

It was a great episode. As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week. bye