The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Sean Jordan - SeanDew

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

My HoneyDew this week is Sean Jordan! You can check out Sean on his latest special, “Girl Dad,” or the podcast “All Fantasy Everything.” This week, Sean highlights the lowlights of his personal experiences with IVF, the decision-making process that comes with it, and the emotional journey of pregnancy. He reflects on the recent loss of a close friend, the impact of their friendship, and the emotional challenges that follow such a sudden loss. Sean also touches on family history, breaking generational cycles, and the significant role his daughter plays in his life now. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour Austin, TX - Sep. 13th Dallas, TX - Sep. 14th La Jolla, CA - Sep. 20th & 21st Salt Lake City, UT - Sep. 27th Denver, CO - Sep. 28th Chicago, IL - Oct. 11th & 12th Detroit, MI - Nov. 8th Minneapolis, MN - Nov. 9th Madison, WI - Nov. 15th & 16th Portland, OR - Nov. 23rd Ft. Lauderdale, FL - Dec. 6th Tampa, FL - Dec. 7th Tempe, AZ - Dec. 20th and 21st Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187

What's up, everybody? Ryan Sickler here. And I just wanted to let you know that tickets to my fall dates of the Live and Alive tour are on sale now. Go to Ryan sickler dot com. Get your tickets to all shows. I'm coming to Austin, Dallas, La Jolla, Salt Lake City, Denver, Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis, Madison, Portland, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, and Tempe. Tickets for all shows are available right now

on my website at RyanSickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. ["The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler"] Welcome back to the honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, RyanSickler.com and Ryan Sickler on all your social media. I'm going to start this episode like I start them all by saying thank you very much. Whatever I do that you support, I don't care what it is. Thank you very much. Please subscribe to this channel. It's a free way to help the show.

Come see me on tour. If I am in your town when you're around, tickets are available at Ryan sickler.com. I'll be out there all fall. If you got to have more, listen to me, you got to have the Patreon. It's called the Honeydew with y'all. It is this show with y'all. You know what it is. You hear me talk about it every week. And every week I say we're going to hear some shit we'd never heard before. And you know what? Every week we do. Every week we do. Just talked to a dude in the hospital the other day who just had his hand taken. Just in the hospital he's calling us, zooming us. Still got the phantom feeling, hands gone. Gone. It's wild. It's five bucks a month. I've never raised it. It's hundreds of hours of stories. And you get the honeydew a day early. You get it ad-free at no additional cost. All right? That's the biz. You know what we do

here. We highlight the low lights. And I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I am very excited to have this guest on today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Sean Jordan. Welcome to the honeydew Sean Jordan. Thanks for having me, Playboy. This is rules.

I'm stoked. Thank you for being here. Yeah, man. We've been talking quite a bit, of course, and catching up. But before we get into whatever we're going to talk about here, please promote everything that you would like a bit, of course, and catching up. But before we get into whatever we're gonna talk about here, please promote everything that you would like. Well, thank you, my friend.

I had a, I filmed a special called Girl Dad, a stand-up special. That right now is on Patreon, but the album just came out on Mother's Day. So if you wanna listen to it, it's all about the birthing process. We went through IVF, and then I got a vasectomy. Also in there, you know, the wholething process. We went through IVF and then I got a vasectomy. Also in there, you know, the whole process started.

My wife had a miscarriage. So it's extremely personal and it's like the most I've ever cared about my standup. You know what I mean? Like the most effort I've ever put into it. Can I ask you a personal question about it? You sure can. How long into, so were you only pregnant twice?

Yeah, immediately. How long into the first pregnancy did you miscarry? Like a week and a half maybe? Because she was just checking and found it like days. The pregnancy test came back and we went in and got an ultrasound and they're like, technically I think you are pregnant, but we barely see it.

And then we went in and the next time, because they confirmed it, but then the next time we went in and they were just like, no heart, you know, no heartbeat, which is, it is such a gnarly feeling because you're just there and you can't do anything about that. You can't talk your way out of it. You can't buy you're just like, damn, I don't know. It's insane to watch that happen to a woman. Anyway. Damn, I don't know. It's insane to watch that happen to a woman anyway. Did, I have questions about it. Can I ask?

Yeah, sure. So did, I know the body just then does its thing, but do you, was that a, I don't wanna be insensitive. Was that a- You don't have to be insensitive. Meaning like, the first time you got pregnant

was that before IVF or was this also IVF? No, this was before IVF and this is what prompted us. I was gonna say normal and I didn't wanna say normal cause you know. I feel ya. No, trust me, I do in standard way that the verbiage. Sorry, I sometimes with this show, I stumble on what to say to people at their worst times.

I apologize. Bro, it's all good. That happened, it happened immediately. And it was, that was the crazy part because we got pregnant the first try and then there's the miscarriage and we're older. Yeah, I'm 40 at the time. My wife is 42 at the time, which is past, they say, you know.

So. Dude, but I learned that we were, what is it called? Geriatric. Pregnancy. That, but I learned that we were, what is it called? Geriatric. Pregnancy. That, what a disgusting word. Right? They said, you're a geriatric pregnancy. I was like, we're what now?

Why can't we just change that word? We made that one up. But I feel like it's like after 28. Like it's really like, that's when your numbers start to drop. You're like, wait, what? Geriatric pregnancy. So we were, I gotta tell you this.

We were sitting right at, so so right during the miscarriage, we had to go in and have a procedure because they needed to get some stuff out. And I was supposed to go to Tampa like three days later. I was supposed to do some shows in Tampa. My wife's laying on the bed and she's like, you can still go to Tampa. And I go, no, I can't.

I can't. Her dad's a three-star general. And I'm like, I ain't gonna hit up the general. Be like, I'm gonna go cut loose in Tampa for a few days if you could like. But yeah, it was just that thing where, you know, you go through it, you process it, and it's much more common than I knew.

It's like one in five women, I think, before the first take they have, they miscarry. Oh, is that right? Yeah, it's, but people, and it's, I get it, it's nobody wants to talk about it, but it's like, that was something, and I asked your permission, obviously, if? Yeah, it's, but people, and it's, I get it's, nobody wants to talk about it, but it's like, that was something, and I asked your permission, obviously, if I could bring it up, and I was like, I don't, you know,

I want to touch on this because people feel, I think, super alone in that process, as you would, and the same thing with like IVF and all that stuff, like it's a tough, like mental thing to go through, you know? So that's why it's so fun to talk fun, it's why I had such a good time creating the hour, I guess, because it felt like informative. Yeah, and like, you know, we got a daughter, we got her.

She's there, our little miracle. So did you, I know from personal friends, they've tried to conceive naturally or whatever, and then they just keep miscarrying. And then they go to IVF. Did you just one miscarriage and then write to IVF? Write to IVF and trust me. Is that because the doctors told you,

hey, you have a better chance this way or caring the full term or? Things because my wife is so extremely logical and smart that she was like, we had a couple bucks. So that's another thing, cause I was like, bro I've known every dollar I have my whole life. You know what I mean? I've never had enough money where I'm like,

ah, I don't even, who cares, you know? So it is a pricey procedure to say the least. So that as soon as we realized that was gonna work, then it was like, well yeah, let's not roll the dice again if we have the means to do it this way. Let's do that. And again, I know I'm asking very personal questions. That's what that's what we do here.

And I'm sorry, Mrs. Jordan. Why did IVF work? What was it about IVF that her body was able to take the full term that just naturally? So what they do is they go through and they just give you the best chance. So they find all of the eggs that are going to work. They go in and they-

I see, okay. Cause they check all that stuff. That's what you're paying that premium price tag for. So you're getting to Michael Jordan today. The best plate boy. Eggs I see. They're pulling out the Steph Currys. Yeah.

I got it. Cause they do, cause they're like, all right. So they give you so many things they go through. And then at the end you end up with X amount of viable fertilized embryos. We ended up with two. So it started at like 30 because they take out all the eggs, they harvest them, they see which ones are going to work. The process is bananas. And I only went to two years of college, so I still fudge the details. But yeah, so they just sift through them, whatever.

And they find the ones that are gonna work with fertilization and then they give them all that genetic testing. And out of the 32. Two, two and maybe a third. So they had one that was inconclusive and then yeah, two. So then they put both eggs in, right?

Well, so they go, if you put both in, there's like an 80% success rate, but you're probably gonna have twins. And I was like, nah. That's what I was gonna ask. Nope. Okay. So then how do you guys decide to pick the one you pick? Roll the dice.

Cause that's, they were like, they go, do you want to know the sex? And I'm like, I don't want anything to do with it. Wait, they know right there on that? Do they? This is fucking blowing my mind. They could have told us. So you can know right there you're gonna have, or you can even, if they say these two are identical,

you can say we want a daughter. Yeah, but see, that's where I'm like, I'm already got the hand of God too much in there. You know, so as soon as we could back away from that, I was like, I don't wanna have anything to do with choosing. Cause if something goes wrong, I'd blame myself my whole life. Because I'm like, why would I pick?

You know, like. But you have to pick one of the two though, right? We just let them pick. So we were like, whatever if they're. So you're blaming on them. If there's a scale. Yeah, it's like, if you fuck this up. Yeah.

Taking my 20 grand, getting out of here. Give me that. Yeah, we were just like, if one of them looks more viable than the other, go on and throw that. That's the one with 51.49, take the 51. Yeah, throw that one in the oven, we'll put the rest on the rocks. And now we still got one sitting on ice. Okay, that's my next question.

That one's still viable in there. It is. And how long will that last on frozen? We paid for another year, I think recently. But we're gonna have that conversation because what do we do with it? I don't know, we're not gonna do it. So I think right now we're just keeping it around

because I feel insane to get rid of it. If it's, if you're definitely, I'm trying to... You can work, trust me, I've had some big knuckleheads talk to me about this. If you're gonna definitely say we're not gonna do it, will you ask what the sex was? No, I never even thought about that.

I don't know, I honestly... We said, look, we're 100% we're not gonna do it before you do it, or even after it's already done What was it like it was a boy? I was like we're gonna do it I did it's funny cuz like I didn't I didn't care at all me either. I actually really did want a girl I grew up with brothers cuz it like just good people but just meatheads and boys. You know what I mean? And girls always, like always appreciated hanging out with my girl cousins

because they would have different points of view. They would be like, your brother this. And I'm like, oh shit, you guys are over here scoping shit out and you know, through your own filter, not just our boy shit. So I always appreciated that. And my daughter definitely, I also felt like she would calm me down.

You know, I knew I needed to be take a step back and a deep breath. And she has definitely been that and humbles me like, yeah. Wait, wait till you go out to do a show on your daughter looks saying, is you're going to wear that? And you're like, what's my brother's brother? It is the great equalizer kids. They don't give a fuck. I remember. And I tell people this, she was screaming one night

and I just took the baseball bat to the yard. I had to go outside and I was just hounding at midnight like a psychopath. And it doesn't matter who you are, that's gonna happen sometimes when you got a kid. It's, I don't know, it's fantastic. But yeah, I didn't care at all. I just wanted, once I landed on the idea

that we were gonna have kids, because I wasn't, it was kind of different my whole life. And then at a certain point, you're like, well yeah, I wanna, yeah, I wanna do it. I got another question. Yeah. This is, okay. So this other egg, right?

Embryo, what is the actual term? Is it an embryo? We'll call it an egg. Yeah, I think it's, yeah, fertilized. The egg. If they were gonna be implanted is the actual term, is it an embryo? We'll call it an egg. It's an egg. Yeah, I think it's, yeah, fertilized. The egg. If they were gonna be implanted at the same time, they'd be identical, or at least fraternal twins,

they'd be twins. Something. So will this egg be a twin version? If it's a, of your, you know what I mean? I know exactly what you've got in mind. How would you go to now? I have no idea. She'll be three in June.

So if you do this next year and she's four, is this like a twin version of- Where this little kid could just look at Maxine and be like, what is she up to? But you know what I mean? A baby version of this twin that's already got a five-year head start on it. Well, I'll tell you what,

I don't think the WNBA is ready for such a thing. Maxine, she's in the hundredth percentile for height. So like she's, I didn't know that was real. So what the doctor said he's, cause I thought it was just something people say. I've never understood it, man. These doctors will tell me the percentiles. And I'm like, yeah, I don't get that.

Well, what he said, he goes, if there were a thousand kids, your daughter would be in the fourth tallest. So she'd be one of the four tallest kids. That's how he equated it. But she tall, man. It's another thing is people keep bringing that up. The first thing anyone says when they see her, they're like, god damn, she's tall.

And I'm like, okay, so I'm gonna have to realize that she's gonna be hearing this her whole life and I don't want her to get a complex about it. So it's just my head is trying to end this like, she's gotta be cool with that. The tall girl in high school. I wanted to know it's okay. Yeah, because we met my wife,

I'm like, yeah, we weren't the nicest to the tall girls in school, you know, if I'm being honest. And I know that is going to be a little rough patch. So teacher how to fucking verbally fight back. I will Shaxine. Yeah, dunking on the glass. I'm sorry. I just this is it's interesting, bro.

I mean, very interesting. Yeah. All this stuff. It's such a that's why I was so fun to do stand up about. Another thing they don't tell you is when you do IVF, oh, when you're over 40, 7% success rate. Nobody told us that. Ooh, seven?

Seven. And they keep that. When they say 7% success rate, is that healthy, baby? Well, you don't. Or such as, whatever. Yeah. There's another part of the process where they go through and they do these checks

and there's, I forget, there's one point where they ask you and they're like, if there is some sort of birth defect or something that we find, do you wanna terminate or do you wanna continue through? And they didn't find, there weren't any defects or anything with Maxine, but at a certain point I was like, I don't even know

what that choice would be like. Because who am I to say terminate? I would want, I don't know. It's tough to wrap your mind around and thankfully we didn't have to face that choice. But people do. And I do not envy that position. This is wild, man.

So yeah, then you get the kid and you're just like, every day is gravy, you know? Even when she's being a little shit, I'm like, I really wanted you, so this is all right. Dude, I love it. I swear to you, like I was in, I just was saying this the other day, I was with my daughter at the mall just a couple weeks ago,

and she's like, can we go on Sephora? I'm like, yeah, we can go on Sephora. So we go on Sephora and there's this like younger black girl and she's like, Ryan Sickler? And I look at her and she goes, of all places to meet you, I go, you know who I am? She goes, I was just listening to the honeydew. I was like, thank you so much.

And I go, yeah, well, she didn't see my daughter. You know what I mean? So she thinks I'm just rolling through Sephora like a creep or something. I'm like, this is my daughter right here and introduced her. And she's like, oh yeah. That's sick, man. And you know, I would have never had that experience

with anyone. And it's always important to me too when I meet a fan who's younger. That to me is like, okay, good. We're getting to the younger people here. Yeah, that's gonna start happening more and I rarely do meet someone older. When I was in middle school,

I loved Pryor and Carlin and Eddie Murphy, you know what I mean? You gotta remember those kids, those kids ride with you your whole life. Right. You know? Now, speaking of life, we're gonna switch gears

and we're gonna not talk about life. Yeah. You have a friend who passed away and I really would like you to share a story if you're comfortable doing that. Yeah, man. So it's, and we talked about this, but like I've been, I've been such a big fan of you forever.

Since I did the crab feast, I remember doing the feast in the hotel room. With you and Jay in the hotel and I was all nervous, which it was such a big deal to me. And you guys were so nice and so inviting. And I've been such a huge fan of the show, but it's hard to reach out and be like, hey bro, can I come on? You know, can I come on?

Like, I just hate doing that stuff. So a buddy of mine who recently passed away, this was his favorite show. He listened to it and he would text me all the time and we would connect over the show. So yeah, when he passed, it was like that where I'm like, oh, hey. This show was his favorite show?

Yeah, favorite show. Damn, all right. Was he a comedian? No. No, he was, we he a comedian? No. No? No, he was, we knew each other through skating. We met when I was probably 14, like right when I started skateboarding,

and I just knew him my whole life. And yeah, his name was Pete, and he was just, he was the best, and we lost him last year. And so anyway, after that, I didn't try to put the onus on you, like, hey buddy, my friend died, you better let me come on the show. No, no, I didn't even know that. I didn't try to put the onus on you like, hey buddy, my friend died, you better let me come on the show. No, no, I didn't even know that.

I didn't know that. Yeah, so that's that was kind of the catalyst. And yeah, man, he was it's a it's a wild thing because I have up there to my dad passing away. But Pete was with me when I got the call that my dad passed away. So it was, you know, we were we were coming back from Minneapolis. He drove me up to do an open mic. That's how cool he was. He drove me from Sioux Falls to Minneapolis.

He wasn't even a comedian. He just drive. He just wanted to go. He's like, yeah, we'll go. We'll go skate. He's like, you drive. I'm going to have some, I'm going to have some road sodas. All that, you know, you know how it goes.

And they were coming back and I had a torn ACL at the time. There was like the worst month of my whole life. I tore my ACL. This girl that I was into was not feeling me at all. And then my dad passed away. So we're in his car and I get the call and I didn't say much as my mom on the other line. They weren't together, but she was like, hey, your dad died.

I hung up the phone and peed. He's just sitting in shock on smoke and cigarette. He's like, old man. And I go, yeah. And then we were just quiet for like three hours. It was exactly what I needed. I just needed to roll and process it. And yeah, he was one of my best friends

in the whole world, man. And so what happened? He, you know, there's some details to it, but he, yeah, he just, we just lost him. And- How old was he? 40, he might've been cranking up around 50. I want to say like 48, 49.

Yeah, it was- Larry, dad? No, he had a kid. Yeah, as a kid. And yeah, it was one of those funerals where every, one of those rough around the edges funerals. You ever been to one of those? Where like the dudes will swear when they're up there

and you're like, brother. I've been to those funerals and weddings. Everybody knows you can swear. Oh, and it, you know, no shade, but like I got, I could barely talk. I was just like, that's one thing I cannot do is I cannot hold it together. If it starts happening, good or bad.

Like if I, wedding, whatever, if I start crying, I'm crying. So I get up there and I'm just like, I'm, I'm, I'm, and just nothing's coming out. And then I get bummed, because I'm like, I'd like these people to hear what I got to say about the guy. And somebody come help me. Somebody come get me away from this microphone.

I'm frozen. I was close to making a video too. And I was like, that's gonna look so weak if I'm up there balling and there's a video of me being like, yeah, I knew I'd be crying in front of y'all. So I just made this little video, like calling me a coward, pointing down like, look at this loser.

Fuck a pussy up here with his video, just holding it. Yeah. Yeah, the amount, like some of these, there was one dude that like held court. He just walking around telling stories. I'm like, how are you not crying? I just don't, I don't have that gear. But yeah, then, you know, went, had one of those gnarly Irish funerals,

which never really been to a legit funeral at a bar. Is that the one when they put them on the table? No, it was just Pete, everyone getting hammered. Okay, hell's gonna break. He's just there, we're just pouring shit on him. No, we just went and got everybody was at a bar and just got hammered during the day. But yeah, man, it was, I got a funny story about Pete. So his dad, who coincidentally died on my birthday.

So there's these weird connections with me and this kid, but he used to tell me all the time that his dad would go pick him up from school. So hold on, his dad dies on your birthday and he's with you in the car when your dad dies. Yeah. Isn't that gnarly? Yeah.

Yeah. I have a friend of mine, shout out to Chris Sheeler, known him since sixth grade, and my dad died November 27th, 1989. His dad dies the same fucking day. The same day, we've known each other, but five years later. Same anniversary, five years later. I'm like, how do we both share a fucking dead dad date?

Like, that's wild. We've known each other since we were like 10. Yeah, it's bonkers when that happens. My wife, what? My wife had our daughter on her friend's birthday and her friend had her daughter on my wife's birthday. See, there's something meant to be. You hear that stuff and you're like, bro, there's gotta be something. I don't on my wife's birthday. Yeah. See, there's something. You hear that stuff and you're like,

oh, there's gotta be something. I don't know. There's something bigger than all this, yes. But what he, so his dad would go pick him up from high school and he'd have a cig hanging out and like paint Elton John glasses and he'd crack the window in high school and he'd start playing the dashboard like a keyboard

and he'd be like, where's my little tulip? That's how he would go pick up Peterson from high school. Oh, that's the kind of stuff I can't wait to do to my daughter. Just like embarrassing. I do it all the time. I do it in traffic. Like I'll start singing loud and I'll roll her window down and one day I went, hey, I started singing.

I hit her window and she fucking ducked so fast that it made me laugh so hard and feel so good. I was like, my kid's ready now. My kid knows what's happening. And it's nonstop. When her friend came over. I was like, my kid's ready now. My kid knows what's happening. And it's nonstop. When her friend came over, I was doing all this stuff. And her friend looked at her and goes, are you not embarrassed by this? She goes, this is normal. This is normal.

My mom, I don't remember this, but so my mom had my sister when I was 14. So it was a big, big age gap. Right. And we went to go get a pregnancy test. I do not remember doing this, but it's hilarious. So we're at the pregnancy or we're at the checkout and I put my arm around my mom and I was like, maybe don't worry, whatever the test results are, I got you. Like I was-

Oh, you're saying that out loud. That's disgusting, but yeah, she tells me that. I was like, man, I had it when I was 14, I was hilarious. Okay, so where are you when you find out he passes away? Man, I was in, that was a good question. I was in the, I was driving. It's never happened to me like this before.

Man, you gotta stop driving. You should stop taking the bus. Start moonwalking everywhere. It's not a good place to be. I don't ever wanna take a ride with your ass. We had this, my buddy Ian Carmel, he just filmed a special. So I found this out two days before I filmed my special in October. And then the day Ian filmed his, my aunt died.

And then my buddy David Borey just filmed one that I was at in Denver. And that day I found out my mom might need to get amputation. And everyone's like, so just don't do specials anymore. Yeah, that too. But with, yeah, I was driving, I never had this happen where you read something and I didn't, I was like, I know what that says. And I gave it to my wife, I go, what does this say?

What's that text message like? Who texted? Our buddy Mike. He kind of was tasked with telling everyone, which, what a. And he texted. Yeah, he texted. And it was in the group thread too, which we always said the only way out of the group thread

is a body bag. So that we're like... There it is. But I handed it to my wife and she's like, I think someone, I think your buddy died. And then we got gas. I was sitting there and I was in shock. Never happened like that before.

Like when my dad passed or any relatives and friends, I've never been close enough. I don't know, this just hit me in a wild way. And so I was getting gas and I go, I feel okay. I'm fine right now, I think. And then, so we went to her brother's house real quick for a sec, I forget what we had to do, but we had to stop there.

We got home and I was just trying to keep it in because I knew I had to film this special in a couple days not to make it about me, but I'm like, he wouldn't want me messing this up or whatever. So I just kind of tucked it down, I think. And it didn't hit me, hit me, because the next day was my birthday. So it didn't hit me, hit me until right after I got done.

And then I went out with Ian and my buddy Harper and just like, you know, water. And they had no idea it was coming. We're at the studio. I was like, let's go grab a drink you guys. And we sit down and I was just like, I just let it out. And they were so cool.

But, and then I'm apologizing for wrecking their night. Yeah. You gotta be cool. Can you imagine if they were like, you fuck up, what are you doing, you pussy? Bro, we came here to party. We don't live in Portland. Do some shots, you pussy.

Yeah. Yeah, it was intense. And then, you know, you always wondered too, everyone at the bar, they're like, what are they, what do they think's going on? Because everyone else at the bar and these two dudes are just kind of like. Oh, those dudes seen, and ladies have seen everything.

Yeah. Crying, laughing, fighting, they've seen it all. I remember, so one, my grandma died. This is off topic a little bit, but we were, I used to work in a comedy club in Sioux Falls and we, they, for some reason, they were like, let's go to Omaha for our comedy Christmas party. We're gonna go to the Funny Bone in Omaha.

Take a party bus down there. Even in Boston, same thing. In noon, bro, seriously, I was driving again. It's noon though, you've worked, you ever worked in a bar or a kitchen or anything? You know how buck they get. So noon, everyone's passing around Jaeger bottles, like doing, I didn't know, but doing Coke at the time,

all this stuff. So we get to the comedy club, long story short, we watch the show, it was Lewis Black. I was very excited to go watch it. I sit down, there's like 12 of us, show gets done, everybody's kicked out. I'm the only one sitting there and I look back like, whoa, I go out, the manager of the Sioux Falls club

is arguing with the manager of the Omaha club, who still manages it, Colleen, she rules. But we were in the wrong, our club was in the wrong. And so we end up going to some bar and whatever, we got kicked out of there too. So then we get back on the bus, my mom calls and she's like, hey, your grandma just died. So I was crying a little bit,

but then I look around the bus and I'll never forget, there was this dude, Toad, who was a cook and he was bawling. And I was like, what's wrong, bro? And he's like, my wife hit me. He was doing coke in the bathroom. I was like, man, I got a real problem. You do not have a real problem. This is, you're a fucking toad.

Anyway, that was, yeah, that was when. It's perspective, bro. That was where I was like, golly, this is, you guys, I would be thrilled if I had a wife that hit me just now instead of my grandma dying. So I wanna ask you, Pete, right? Yeah, yeah. Was it a shock to you that like, I understand

the process of, hey, I'm in shock and everything. But what I'm asking you is, were you surprised that this happened? You didn't see this coming? This wasn't? No. No. No, it was nuts. And it's still, he's got to the skate park and there's a mural painted of him and it still gets, I mean, I've been there a few times, been back home and yeah, I just keep thinking I'm gonna see him, you know? Cause I don't live in South Dakota anymore. So every time I go back, I think it's gonna be just like it was, I'll walk into the skate park,

they'll be chilling and whatever, make fun of me a little bit but then ask about my daughter. He started doing that, like he got so much softer, the older we got, you know, so much more. He was always very inviting, but he was about my daughter. He started doing that. Like he got so much softer the older we got, you know, so much more. He was always very inviting, but he was very abrasive. Very abrasive. Like I would, when people were gonna meet him, I'd be like, all right, you're gonna think something,

you're gonna feel a certain kind of way about this dude, but I'm telling you, he would do anything for me. He used to pay my phone bill when I couldn't do it. It was my fault. I would just like drink up my money, but he would, he'd be like, all right, I'm on my lawn. I'll get your phone bill. He'd buy me skateboards, he would, he'd be like, all right, I'm on my lawn. I'll get your phone bill. He'd buy me skateboards, you know,

he'd drive us all around. But if you met him, he'd be like, ah, that guy, that guy's a prick. Like, no, he's great. But so yeah, I mean, it was just, yeah, didn't see it coming. Nothing like that. It was nuts.

And how do you deal with it now? It's been what, two years? One year? It was, It was nuts. And how do you deal with it now? It's been what, two years? One year? It was November. Oh, whoa. Late October, so. Six months. Six months.

Yeah, a lot of it's out of sight, out of mind, because I'm not there every day. And I just, it's for the first person that's passed away where I still have all the texts from us, you know? So sometimes I'll read those, which I don't know if is an amazing idea, but I got a voicemail from an uncle, my uncle that died like six years ago,

sent on my phone that I've never listened to. Ever? Isn't that wild? It's just, it's- You wanna listen to it right now? No, God damn. Let's listen to it. Oh, you know, all right.

I've always said- You have a voice, this is a voicemail. Yeah, look. I'm gonna have questions for you too, because before you play it. Hold on, let me, yeah, right there from Sharon. It was a. How long is it? October 15th, 2019 at 16 seconds.

We're gonna listen to it. I'm like shaking, man. Okay, we can. I heard a video recently. Someone found one of VHS and sent me this quick clip of my grandmother. My grandmother died in 94, I believe. So we're talking about 30, Jesus. And when I heard her voice,

it was different than I remembered in my head. And I'm curious, this is six years? Yeah. Five years? Five and a half. I've been dancing around this forever because I didn't answer the phone. And then I still talked to him, but it was a real sudden thing with him.

And so when I talked to him, he just wasn't as coherent as he would have been had I answered this call. I talked to him like a week later or something. And then it was like a very quick thing. I don't know a hundred percent what even happened. What if he just gets on here and says a bunch of racist shit? Well, what if he tells you he's about to die here?

Well, then I'll start balling all over the table. We will clip that. No, you leave it in, man. That's why. Hold it up. Let's hear it. I wanna know. What's up, everybody. Ryan Sickler here. And I just wanted to let you know that

tickets to my fall dates of the live and alive tour are on sale now. Go to Ryan sickler dot com. Get your tickets to all shows. I'm coming to Austin, Dallas, La Jolla, Salt Lake City, Denver, Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis, Madison, Dallas, La Jolla, Salt Lake City, Denver, Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis, Madison,

Portland, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, and Tempe. Tickets for all shows are available right now on my website at RyanSickler.com. Hey bud, it's me. So your grandma's number is f***. Give her a call. She'd love to hear from you. I love you. Bye. That's crazy.

She's also dead. That's nuts, man. I've been dancing around that for five and a half years of a dancing around that. I almost listened to it after I recorded my special. I did James Corden last year and I was looking at it like, come on, he'd be proud of you, man. I did Comedy Central set. and never, good on you.

You got, it was a good show, man. Do you know why he was calling? So he sounded pretty bad. Do you know why he was saying to call your grandmom? Does it make sense that, or is it just him saying, hey, checking in like? I think my grandma was getting sick, but she was old, she was 90, 90.

Oh, go ahead. Who passed first? Grandma or Uncle Bill? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Uncle Bill, grandma had to watch both her kids. She had three, geez, no she didn't. Okay, check this out. She had four and three of them passed away before she did.

So my aunt Shannon, I was driving, no. My aunt Shannon, yeah, I was just out there cruising, you know, hanging my swisher out the window. And then, so when my dad was a kid, he was probably 10 or something. My aunt would have been my aunt Shannon. Just they were, it was like Christmas Eve and she was sledding behind a car. I don't know if Midwest or,

but like people just tie shit behind the car sometimes and they'll go sledding, you know what I mean, on the icy streets or whatever, like tubing, but on a car. And she just died and they didn't know why. Now I think if they had the technology, they'd be like a brain aneurysm or something. I was gonna say clod or yeah, for sure.

But they never knew why. And so that whole side of the family didn't like Christmas for ever, you know. Fast forward to what? I'm 25 when my dad passes, another kid, and then Uncle Bill. So grandma had to watch three kids. That is, I never really think about it

until you say it out loud, but you're like, that's insane. And then- That's every parent's worst nightmare. Three times, brother. I can't even- One is enough to kill you. Of course, I can't. I know we're talking outside. I don't even go down COVID got her. One is enough to kill you. Of course, I can't, I know we're talking outside.

I don't even go down the road of talking about, because sometimes people ask and I'm like, I ain't gonna talk about it. I don't wanna talk about it. But yeah, then COVID got grandma, but she was like 95. She was up there. She smoked it to the filter. So Uncle Bill is calling you to tell you,

check on your grandmom, she's not doing well, basically is what he's saying in the message, and she would love to hear from you, I love you, and then he goes. Did he know he was gonna go? Or was his son in as well? You know what I mean? Was he sick and like, I'm not gonna.

I don't know exactly what happened to him. My cousin, it's one of those, like the last four or five times she's called me, it's been a bummer. So every time she called, it was in the middle of that. So like she, it was, I forget whatever they were, but she's calling and I'm like, it ain't going to be good, you know? And then she said, he just, something happened. I don't know what happened. He just, he like fell and then he, they're like, he's gonna die in three weeks. And I don't, she, I'm sure she knows, but regardless of what it was, that's what happened. And then you're like, man,

and then you get to this point where it's like, it was COVID and I'm like, I can't, I can't go to the funeral. We're trying to go through IVF and I can't roll the dice like that. Same thing with my grandma's funeral because I don't wanna be the scumbag who brings it back for our investment,

you know what I mean? So yeah, I missed all the funerals too. Feel bad about that forever. I mean, it was COVID, so it was like, it wasn't my fault, but yeah, never thought about that. Three kids, it's insane. That voicemail, good on you, man.

That makes me feel great. Is it weird that it makes me feel good that I did it? No. I'm surprised you've held onto That makes me feel great. Is it weird that it makes me feel good that I did it? No. That it like... I'm surprised you've held onto it that long. Yeah. What are the reasons, like especially after shooting a special,

it's such a momentous occasion, I think for any comedian. How'd you talk yourself out of not doing it then? I feel like you'd be riding on such a high. I didn't wanna do it after I had any drinks. And so all these, after Corden, after Comedy Central, I went out and had a couple and I'm staring at it, like listen to it, and you're like, do him the respect of not needing to get drunk

before you do it. You know what I mean? Did he sound like you remember him sounding? We, he was always real boisterous. He was like loud, confident, big, all the men, Buck Jordan, Pat Jordan, Bill Jordan, they were all like gnarly, loud, tall, big, all the men, Buck Jordan, Pat Jordan, Bill Jordan, they were all like gnarly, loud, tall, like men, you know?

My grandpa was like, like Cotton Hill, like the Navy guy, but he was tall, he didn't get his shins cut off. But yeah, Bill back in the day, he'd always, he'd call and he'd be like, bud, this is your great uncle Bill. That was his whole, that was his whole bit. So he was your great uncle?

No, he would just say that. Oh, I see. He was the great. Gotcha. No, he sounded kind of feeble there, man. He did. Yeah, he sounded like he was catching up to him. How old was he when he died?

60. That's young, too. It is young, man. My dad, I'm creeping up on the age my dad was, and that's a wild thing. How old was that? I wanna say he was 46. And it was alcoholism. And so for a while there-

Your dad died at 46 of alcoholism? He used to drink- That's very young. I'm talking handles a day. Like he'd drink- You said handles. Well, you know those jug looking things? What the handles?

Yeah, bro. He would go through one of those in a day, not every day, but he could and he would, you know? And he would do, he was in a meth for a while. Like he was just like a party animal, you know? So- You knew he was in the meth?

Yeah, I got a bad feeling I'm doing bits, but I walked into it. He lived in a hotel for a while. He was for quite some time. And I walked in and there was, I just, I knew the mixins, cause I grew up in the Midwest and a lot of people do that. You know, I've done it myself. It's terrible.

What do you mean? Meth. So I just like knew what the, Oh, you mean you're looking around the room and seeing the things and putting it, Tin foil and a pen. Got it. Right by the window. So it was either that or heroin and I'm like,

He's blowing it out the window. Right. And so yeah, I was like, bro, you're living in a hotel doing math. It's one of those things that I think about now, the older I get, because I don't wanna die. You know what I mean?

When I'm 46, I know that obviously goes without saying, but he didn't either, and he did. And my uncle Bill wasn't a saint. I mean, he drank quite a bit. And so that's the thing in my life that I've always been most worried about. So I got a handle on it over COVID, which- You said handle.

I got a handle right on it. Your dad had a handle too, brother. Yeah, he got a real solid grip on it. I remember when COVID hit, I didn't drink for like six months. My wife's like, that's great. And I'm like, I ain't done. I'm just saying it's on accident.

I haven't drank for six weeks or months, but I've definitely got ahold of it. Well, you need to man, cause that's in your blood literally. And it's also, these men are not living long drinking like that. There's some people that just go, you know what I mean? They smoke, they drink, and it just doesn't get them.

Whatever the hell reason, it just doesn't get them. But this is young. And I had, right before COVID maybe or something, I went in and just told my, because now I got a doctor, I got a PCP. All this stuff I never had growing up. But we never, let me ask you, did you go toP. All this stuff I never had growing up. Did you go to regular checkups when you were a kid? No.

We sure didn't. I'll tell you what we had to do. We had to do, once we started playing sports in high school, they made you, you had to go get a physical. And that was when I would go like once a year. We didn't go to the doctor unless it was for a vaccination. Yeah, or my bone sticking out or something. That's it. We never went.

Did they do? They can't do the line of the testicle cough anymore, right? I remember in football when they had, we were straight up in a line. My doctor 100% would do that when we were kids. But like in a line, I'm saying like, I remember 50 of us in the locker room and we're all pants down, I'm like, oh.

Yeah, that shit wouldn't, you can't put more than three people naked in the locker room and we're all pants down. I'm like, oh. Yeah, that shit wouldn't, you wouldn't, you can't put more than three people naked in the locker room these days. That shit ain't happening. So I went into my PCP and I was like, hey, we do mean, we just check my liver. Just check all the stuff that if, if I had damaged it from alcohol.

And that was one of the scariest things. Cause I come in and he, he looked at me, he's like, your liver looks like you're a young man. It's perfect. I was just, I just started crying out because I'm so like, like when you put something off forever and ever and ever, and you're like, well, it doesn't hurt.

That doesn't mean it's not like shrinking up getting solid, you know? So when he gave me that, it was like a nice reset. And then all through COVID, it was easy to not. And then, but now you start going on the road and stuff again. It is tough. Like it was easy to not. And then, but now you start going on the road and stuff again. It is tough. Like I was just in Madison. It's like.

It's hard to not treat all this like a party because it is a part when you get to go and people come to see you and I don't know. There's just something there where I'm like, you want to party a little bit. So trying to navigate that, like trying to chill it out. It's working. Is it a little bit? It is. It is. Because I think about also, I'm old, man.

I don't like feeling like shit all the time. And I like skateboarding and all these things. Like I want to wake up and feel good and like be productive and get work done. But then like I'll go to Denver for comedy festival or something and you'll be like, oh yeah. Three, four days of that. I can feel it.

And that's enough of a deterrent right there to try to chill out. You know what I mean? But you're 42, you said your dad died at 45, 46? I think 46, yeah. I mean, does it terrify you to leave your, because it's not just dying. You're leaving your daughter and all that. I'm gonna park the car that whole year. Yeah, I wouldn't, if I'd be just fucking skateboarding

everywhere that year, bro. Yeah, yeah. Because that happened to me at the same age, dude, the same age, my, the same age. My dad died at 42. And I had split from my daughter's mom. I had had kidney stones. My legs started clotting.

This was the beginning of me finding out I have this blood disease. I had no idea. And it's also the beginning of me finding out that he didn't really die of a heart attack. He died of this fucking thing that I am clotting and laying on the bed right now, 42. Interesting. And I figure that out through this. And I'm like, man, this isn't what he died from, what they say at all. Now I'm figuring out that it was this and it's the same age.

And I'm on my bed, on my back. And that's how we found him. Like it was identical to like, I'm about to check out, and it would have been a creepy parallel story. Right. And then I get to be older than him, a year, and I'm like, that feels weird. That will be weird to me when.

Dude, I'm two things. I say this all the time. I wanna be something, my father was the greatest. I wanna be something my dad never was and that's an old man. Yeah. All right. A grandfather. All right.

And I mean, I'm already older than my dad. And I don't know if this will make sense. I say this a lot, but I don't care if I live to be 103. I'll just never feel older than my dad. You know what I'm saying? Like I am older than him, but I don't feel, I'll just never feel older than my dad. You know what I'm saying? I am older than him, but I don't feel, I don't know, I'll feel like I'm always be his son. I've been on that, I wanna break the cycle.

So like my uncle Bill was great. He was a good dad, but he's still, just like with drinking and stuff, there was like, everyone's got their demons. But my grandpa and my dad were like, they kind of bailed my grandpa cheated on my grandma. My dad caught him. Check this out. My dad, so my dad was probably 18. He caught my grandpa cheat. And my grandpa's name was Buck Jordan. It's a buck name, right? So my dad goes, you're telling grandma or I'm telling grandma and buck. He's like, no one's telling grandma. And so they fought, had an actual fist fight.

My dad won and then Buck told grandma. So your son beat your ass and then you gotta go, tell your wife you're cheating. That's, yeah. It was, that was one thing too, my dad, and this is a wild concept to explore, but he was, he left when I was like six months old, a year or something, and he wasn't around

until I was probably 12 or 13. And he was like a big fighter. Like he was just a dick, you know? So I would have been too, I think. If he would have been around, I would have turned out just like that. I've been fighting all the time. And yeah, so him not being around was probably good,

you know? It's crazy to think about where like, it's be like, and yeah, so him not being around was probably good, you know? It's crazy to think about where like, it's, it's be like, damn, that's a harsh thing to say about somebody that you're probably better off that they weren't around. But I think I was, I mean, he would like, he would, he would get so, like there was one time he told me I could borrow his car to go to North Dakota, to go to a skateboard and I took it and I get back

and he had called the cops. He thought someone stole his whip. And I'm like, dad, you told me, like a day ago, you told me I could take it. And he's like, oh, yeah, well. Like he had his apartment. He used to put all this shit on his landlord. And I'm like, this ain't your landlord's job

to find your car. It'd always go up. And the landlord would be in his crib. And he's just like, yeah, something's going on with your dad. I'm like, this is not your problem, my friend. He's your tenant who you should probably boot. Imagine if your tenant was like, hey, someone stole my car.

Can you handle it for me? Cause I'm drunk and I can't move. But anyway, he would just, it's another dangerous thing too. Can I ask you a quick question? Do you and your sister share the same parents? No. Okay, I was gonna, I wondered about that. If dad's gone that early and you're that far apart.

I also got a couple of brothers that I didn't know about till I was 19 probably. How'd that come about? My dad got drunk one time and told me. So he, so my mom had a couple of kids in high school. I'm sorry. No, isn't this wild? And then he thought that it was his place

to tell me his bat shit, because my mom got caught slipping a couple times in high school. Go ahead. So I just want to set this up here. You're how old at the time? I was probably 18. And your sister's how old?

Sister would be four. Four, okay. Because you're 14 apart. All right. But that dad is not your biological father, your sister. Right. Right. He's my stepdad.

He's the one that's been around and put the work in. Got it. So I guess before me, because they were young, they were like 20 when they had me, but before me in high school, yeah, my mom had a couple of kids and it was like that, you're not gonna have these kids. So she gave them up for adoption right away.

Which is fine, no shade. I mean, that's not, I care less. She was so, it was so hard for her to tell me. So my dad for years, he'd get drunk and he'd be like, I gotta tell you something about your mom, bud. When you're old enough to hear it, you're old enough to hear it. And I'm like, I don't know what he was gonna tell me.

And then one night- How old was that? I was probably 13 or 14 when he started dangling the carrier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which anyway, so I forget why. One night he just tells me, he's on the couch and he just started crying and telling me this. And I was like, what?

What's he saying? Exactly what I just said. He's like, you got a couple of brothers, but he's holding the cigarette. You could barely, you know, like the ashes like that. And he just, my buddy Adam tells me, but he's just like that. There's couldn't even ashes cigarette.

And I was like, what? And so I flipped out- A couple, by the way, not one. Couple. Not another brother. Two. And so I went and I just dealt with it over a couple years. But wait, hold on, with who?

Who's the lady? Who are they? Well, so my mom, just some boyfriends from high school. Wait, they're not your dad's kids. No, they're different guys' kids. Get the fuck out. So he had no business telling me. Didn't see this coming at all.

Different. I bet you didn't either. No, bro, I was, cause and I'm not, if I found that out now, I would, I guess I'd process it sort of like an adult. But when I was 19, I think I was 19, whatever. I did not know what to do. And all these things go through my mind and I'm like.

So they're older than you. Yeah, I bet one of them now. So your mom had children and then why aren't they with her? Because my grandpa wasn't having it, because she was so young. So that's what I'm saying. They like made her, they did that,

I thought they only did this in movies. They made her and gave these babies up to who? I don't, adoption. I mean, they kicked her out. So my grandpa, my grandpa told her she had to leave town when one of them, and like do the pregnancy at a different place. Just to what?

Not to bring shame to the family? Straight up. How old was she when that happened? High school? Yeah, yeah, both of them. I mean, she's 20 when she had me, so both before that. Same guy? No.

I don't wanna throw, not trying to dog out my mom, I'm saying she's- You weren't doing a dogging. She didn't, she made three bad choices before she landed my stepdad, I guess. But yeah, man. Who knows how bad these dudes were. I'm sure my grandpa was being like,

you're not gonna, you know, so whatever. So you meet one. I met one, yeah. How? How do you find them? She can't, she gave, somehow she got in touch with him and he lived in South Dakota still. We went to go see him.

Okay, so your mom went with you. Yeah, the whole family. Is this the first time your mom's seeing this child? I think so. And you're there for this? I think, yeah. Dude, what was that like? Pretty buck, man.

I'll bet. Yeah, it was. Was she crying? Was it a good emotional? She's not, she really doesn't like to cry. Not like I like to cry, but she really tries to be tough. You know, so I don't think she was crying. A lot of like quick talking, you know,

that's like people at funerals and wakes and stuff when they're just jibber jabber and you're like, you can take a second to cry if you want to. But yeah, so what happened? My dad told me, and then he'd passed away like four years after he told me. So I had plenty of time to process this. What did your mom do when he told her?

I didn't tell her. What? So he told me, I kept it down. For how long? For about four, until he died. Years? Mm-hmm. So he told me when I was probably 19,

he died when I was 25, I wanna say. So by then I was like, whatever, I don't care. And then my mom called me about two weeks after he died. She goes, I gotta tell you something. And I go, yeah, I got a couple of brothers, right? And she goes, how the fuck do you know that? And I was like, dad told me when I was 19. Why does she all of a sudden decide to tell you

after your dad dies? Who knows, closure? I don't know, I really don't. She just called me out of the blue. And she shit herself. And you knew that's what it was gonna be when she said it? Immediately. You did.

Yeah, and I, she, and then. Because could you imagine if it was like, I have a couple other brothers, and she's like, yeah, I wasn't gonna tell you that at all. I'm like, yeah, I don't fucking know that. I was just gonna tell you that dad left you the car. Yeah, there's 20 Gs sitting around you to know about. No, yeah, he, so it, when she told me, it didn't,

it wasn't that big conversation she thought it was gonna be because I already knew. And I didn't care, I never cared, I never thought less of her. It was just jarring to hear. And then, yeah, and it was all good, met one of them. Where's the other one? He, Colorado maybe?

They used to talk, they talked Colorado maybe. They used to talk. They talked for like, they used to talk every day for a couple of years after, cause like they got in touch too. But for whatever reason, I don't know if they ever met or whatever. But there's no like beef or anything. I don't think.

And your mom's how old now? 59 or she was born in 59. So what would that be? Six, what 65? Yeah. So, yeah, young. And she's probably 22 when she had me. No, she, I mean, she's-

Except for the, you said- Except for the leg. She's just gotten hosed with health stuff, but she's like, you know, she shines on, man. She's had ever spine fused a whole, like her whole spine is fused, you know, that shit where they're like, you know, she shines on, man. She's had to have her spine fused, like her whole spine is fused, you know that shit, where they're like, you can't. Yeah, she's gotten, it's a rough shake for her

and it's tough, but she's still, still smiles, you know? So how old's our oldest son, so it's boys, yeah, two boys. Gotta say, he's probably 46. He's probably 46 by now, 47. Are you number? I'm three. Yeah, two boys. Gotta say, he's probably 46. He's probably 46 by now, 47. Are you number? I'm three. Three, for sure. As far as I know.

As far as you know, yeah. I don't know, Dad, unless there's another voicemail from Bill on here. Hey, listen, you should call your mom real quick, man. She's got something to say. There's a whole crew of kids in Florida. Yeah, I think that's it. I will blow my mind.

It was buck. But I- To be 40 some years old. I've talked to so many people on the Patreon, subscribe, it's only $5 a month, honey, do with y'all. Original rent. And with this, what is it, 23andMe and these things like that, they're finding, I was one girl that came on and I know from experience, because

I had thought about donating sperm and my grandmother's Catholic at the time was like, there you go, you know, going off on me. But then when I ended up finding out, as you're only allowed to donate twice in a certain mile radius, you can't just go in there and dump, you know, for all day long. They make it seem like you can in movies. Like, it ain't easy to go do. Two times because although it's not probable, it is possible those two could live in the same area

their whole lives, grow up, meet each other, incest, the whole thing. So this one lady said that her, so again, you're only supposed to be able to do it twice, but a lot of these clinics were letting people do it a lot. And I guess there was this one guy, and I think she said he did it weekly for years. And when she came on the episode,

she had already met, I don't know, three or four new siblings she had no idea she had, and they were continuing to pop up. Because this dude was just dropping off, you know, and they were letting them pop up. Because this dude was just dropping off. You know, and they were letting them, and you're not supposed to let them. Yeah, you're not supposed to, yeah. Yeah, that'd be nuts.

I was pretty safe my whole life. So, you know, if that would be so gnarly to hear about. Like if someone was like, hey, you got a kid you didn't know about. Got a question for you? Yeah. Willing to donate your sperm, this viable sperm that you have,

are you willing to donate that? We've talked about that. What are they just, just a- I don't know. Squish it. What do they do? It's something gnarly like it has to be. I'm sure there's some bio-

You gotta kill these eggs. Probably just select a few numbers up and they're gone. But then, because I just brought it up to my wife the other day and I'm like, I don't know that I could have, because it's us, it's like, if like a surrogate would have cared, if somebody were to get it. It's still you. It's still, it's me and my wife.

It's not like half someone. So I would know that there's like our kid just baked in a different oven, walking around. It'd be tough to know that, you know, and not want to be involved. And not be a part of that, yes. And be like, how are they raising this kid that I, you know, that I would have had my, you know, and not be part of that. And be like, how are they raising this kid that I would have had my hand in raising,

but as it stands, we're geriatric and so we can't. So I don't know, we'll figure it out. I don't know what we'll do. As a dad who's very into being a dad, I mean, you got a special called Girl Dad available now. I love it. Do you understand the power of addiction? I mean, for a man to live in a hotel away from his kids,

I'm not saying your dad really wanted to do that, but with the circumstances, he probably obviously had to and wanted to because the addiction overtakes. Could you even imagine? No, and I, because he tried to commit suicide one time. He was in treatment and he drank a bottle of floor stripper. So like a whole bottle. This is why I have a gnarly constitution, my friend.

Cause yeah, he made it. Doctor called me and he's like, if I were you, I'd drive here now. Cause he was like six hours away. There's a drive and he. like, if I were you, I'd drive here now. Cause he was like six hours away. There's the drive and he- Yeah. Never thought about it. I'm gonna be scared every time I'm in a-

Why am I wearing a wheel tie? Yeah, he goes, drive out here right now. So I drove through the night and then dad made a full recovery. The doctor's like, he burned his whole esophagus, whole stomach. I would imagine. He's gonna die in like, you know, weeks.

And then he was fine. Back to it. I mean, back to like the stomach. He's gonna die in like, you know, weeks. And then he was fine back to it. I mean, back to like the handles and actually drinking and shit. Oh yeah, he'd he drank, he rocked it till the wheels fall off. He was like that until the very end. And that didn't, it's so, cause I used to be so upset about that.

I'm like, it's so selfish. Why would you be that selfish? And the older I get, I'm like, he all like all he cared about was me. I was the only thing he really loved, you know? And he just couldn't balance it. He just couldn't, you know? And I know, because he always used to tell me,

he's like, you have a disease, bud. You have a disease and da da da. And I'm like, you don't, cancer is a disease. Like, no one's taking cancer and putting it in their body. Like you're putting this shit in your own body. So I would always think it was like, it's your fault. You have control over this and the older you get, well, I do maintain that you do have control over it.

It's definitely not black and white. It's not nearly as easy. And I've proven that to myself where I'm like, whoa, you need to chill out on how you're living, you know? And he was worse than me. So yeah, I like to chill out on how you're living, you know? And he was worse than me. So yeah, I like to think I understand addiction as well as someone can, you know? And that having a daughter is like the biggest deterrent

because I don't wanna be around. It boils down, I just wanna be here, you know? I wanna see all that shit. She's all that matters now. Not in the way where it's like, I still like new shoes, you know what I mean? But she's what I'm living for. Like any money I got, it just goes in the way where it's like, I still like new shoes, you know what I mean? But she's what I'm living for. Like any money I got, it just goes in the bank.

Well, I don't know, whatever, I don't look at it. It's hers, you know? So yeah, I wanna be around, man. And your mom, like being a grandmom? Yeah, she doesn't get to see her a lot because she's in South Dakota and she can't like travel well. But yeah, she loves it, man. Thank God for Zoom and all that. Because we can like, they can, it's not a relationship, but she can at least see well, but yeah, she loves it, man. Thank God for Zoom and all that.

Cause we can like, they can, it's not a relationship, but she can at least see her, you know? So when she does visit, it's not, you remember that feeling when you're a kid and you're like, what do you mean this is my Uncle Tommy? I've never seen this fucking dude ever. He is a stranger. I gotta say I love you to this guy.

I remember that shit where I'm like, I don't know. He's in the Navy, bro. I don't know this guy. So that is nice. And- Do your mom's other children, do they have kids? Is she a grandmom? One of them, I know that one of them does, yeah.

My sister doesn't have any kids, but I know that one of my mom's other kids that has kids, I don't know that she looks at that like I'm their grandmother, because they haven't really been around forever, you know? So Maxine with my daughter, well, Shaqseen, definitely grandma, grandma shit, and it rules. Yeah.

Yeah, man. And what about your sister? No kids, still chilling, living in Sioux Falls. Much younger though, you know, I don't really, again, because I don't live there, and the age gap was so big. We're very, we're, she's my sister, I love her, but we're just like not,

don't really talk all that much, you know? Like when I see her, I see her. And like when I'm home, we go to dinner and stuff, but I'm not like hitting her up on the regular. I could, and I need to be better about it. My wife always mentions that. I'm like, yeah, yeah. It's just not something I think about on the daily.

So, this has been a great episode. I've learned quite a bit myself today that I didn't know. That IVF shit's crazy, right? It is. Yeah, it'll get you, man. And I've known plenty of people who've done IVF. I didn't know the parts about the sex and that you have to pick one or the other at some point, you know, things like that.

Pretty nuts. Yeah. And how you can't do any, like when you're the guy, I know it's a bit about it, but like all you gotta do is donate a sample, you jack off in a cup. The woman has to do everything. And then. And then once it's in their body and it's working,

you gotta keep doing everything. And you know. Deal with it, to navigate COVID, that whole, we didn't leave, I mean, we were careful anyways, but COVID that whole, we didn't leave. I mean, we were careful anyways, but she didn't, we didn't do anything. Like if I had to come down here for a couple things, I would like, I think I might've even stayed at a hotel

a couple days till I could get a rapid test, you know, just to be like, anyway, yeah, it's buck man. So after everything we've talked about now, advice you would give to 16 year old Sean Jordan. Well, the first one I would say go to the dentist. My God, dude. I spent probably nine grand a few years ago on dental, just because I didn't go for like 15 years.

Nah. I popped a cavity out before I even moved to Portland. This is how I can timestamp it. Because I remember being in Sioux Falls, I was flossing, I popped a cavity out before I even moved to Portland. This is how I can timestamp it. Because I remember being in Sioux Falls, I was flossing, I popped this filling out, and I didn't go to the dentist until I lived in LA. So that's 2009 to 2018 or whatever. You just left that open tooth like that in there forever?

I had a hole, it would fill up with food. I didn't even use this side of my mouth. So it built up with sediment. They showed me there was like dunes. There was like salt dunes on my teeth. Cause I didn't chew with it to keep them sharp. So yeah, they had to go in and she's like, we're gonna have to chisel all this shit out.

Root canal. So anyway, I'd go to the dentist. That would go to the dentist. Seriously go to the dentist. It ain't gonna fix itself, you know? And I go every four months now. They put me on a program and I was like, sure. They had to cut these program and I was like, sure.

They had to go for the heavy cleanings. Yeah, it's like, they had to cut these gums open not that long ago. Oh, fuck that. Brother? The other one, it would be like, you know, know that it's gonna be okay. I've struggled with anxiety my whole life

and thinking, just especially with comedy, like none of this is certain, feels like a house of cards. So all the time I'm just like, what happens if no one comes to the shows or whatever? And it's like, you'll be all right. Just do what you feel like you should be doing and it will work.

That's what I would say. Just believe in yourself and don't worry too much. You know what I mean? Because that's like so much of my life. I look back to things that I really stressed over and it doesn't matter at all now. And not to say that problems aren't problems and wherever you're at in your life and this matters,

but just don't think it's like the end of everything every time, you know? It'll be all good. I wish I could show my 14 years or 16 year old self me now and be like, oh dude, no way. Yeah. You got a car? You got a car. Don't drive. You got a car parked in the driveway and every time you get in it, somebody dies.

Thank you for doing this, dude. Yeah, man. Please plug everything again. Well, Girl Dad is the album. If you want to go on Patreon, you can buy it as 10 bucks. But if you want to listen to it, it's on Spotify. So go do that. And then I'm lucky enough to be a part of the All Fantasy Everything podcast

with Started by Ian Carmel and David Borey is on it as well. We've got a big tour in June. We're gonna be in New York, Boston, Philly, DC, Toronto, Pittsburgh, Chicago, Minneapolis, Cleveland, Detroit. So- With the pod? Yeah, we're doing live shows, June 11th, Cleveland, Detroit. So- With the pod? Yeah, we're doing live shows June 11th through the June 22nd. And they're so fun.

The live shows are the best. We're gonna have Shane Torres on for most of the shows. He's coming on the road with us, who yeah, Crab Feast and Honeydew alum. And it's just gonna be a blast. So if you feel so inclined, come out to that. You can find the dates on my Instagram, Sean Cougar, Mel and Jordan.

And also I would like your listeners to hear how dope you are. You don't get your flowers a lot, but thank you so much for having me. You've always been such a shining light in this, not everyone's cool in this business, and not everybody is willing to help people out. And I remember you took Zach Tuscani and I to lunch

when I first moved here. And it was one of the things where I was like, okay, so it doesn't have to be that terrifying. Cause you're like, yes, send me some clips. I'll try, I'll get them to whoever and see if we can get you on some shows. But people don't do that a lot. So thank you.

Everyone listening to the show, you know what time it is. Thank you young man. Yeah, you're welcome. Young man, baby. I appreciate you showing up. Yeah, of course, man. You're younger than me. As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com.

Come see me on tour. Tickets are available on my website. I'll see you out there and we'll talk to you all next week. You