The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Sklar Brothers

Episode Date: August 26, 2019

My #HoneyDews this week are Jason & Randy Sklar! You know I’m a big fan of twins & these are two of my favorites! We get into embarrassing moments from last week, embarrassing moments from their career, embarrassing moments from childhood, embarrassing moments from life. The Sklar Brothers get it and I’m stoked to have them on The Dew! Subscribe, download & review! Sponsors: Head to http://bit.ly/MYBHoneyDew and use promo code HONEYDEW to claim your bonus today! For $20 off a suitcase, visit http://awaytravel.com/honeydew and use promo code HONEYDEW during checkout!

Hey guys, this episode of The Honeydew is brought to you by Away and MyBookie.com. I also want to let you guys know that I am performing, if you're in LA, at the Ice House at Pasadena this Saturday at 10pm. I'm going to bring Steve Simone with me and Joey Diaz is going to do a drop-in set. So if you live in LA, looking for something to do this Labor Day weekend out there on a Saturday night, go to RyanSickler.com, get tickets for the show. More on all that later. Now let's get to the do.

You're listening to The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here at Studio Jeansans doing it at your mom's house. I am Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler on all social media. RyanSickler.com. Baltimore. Baltimore.

September 14th at the Famous. Get your tickets now. It might be sold out by now. I'm not sure. We prerecord. So get them if it's not. And as I say every week, thank you. Thank you to everybody. Thank you for the messages. Thank you for the comments,

the follows, the likes, the subscriptions. You're making a difference and I really appreciate it. I know you love the show. I love bringing it to you every week. And for those of you who are new here, this is The Honeydew. Thehoneydewpodcast.com is the website. You can go there, follow me on social media there. Emails, merch, anything and everything you need about The Honeydew is on thehoneydewpodcast.com. And the best way to help this show is to engage with our sponsors, so please do that. And as I say every week, what we do here is we find the light in the darkness we highlight the low lights and these are the stories behind the storytellers

and today for the first time here on the honeydew it is my pleasure to introduce two guests ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the honeydew the sklar brothers jason and randy sklar welcome gentlemen i feel like we live we live in the honeydew you guys are true honeydews i couldn't wait we are thanks man thanks for having us what a great idea for a podcast of course i love perfect for you this is a great idea you guys are the best uh before we get into your honeydew moments will you please promote plug everything and anything you would like well check out our podcast we do dumb people town with daniel van kirk who is has he done this i'm sure he did he's not he did it before we had video okay he did so he's great and the three of us just it's like this week in dumb news this is what happened which

we believe the world's getting dumber how do we you know defeat it through comedy through comedy so we do that show which you've done you were great you were our second episode ever i appreciate that cheese in the in the cvs like someone asking an employee at the cvs where the cheese is and the guy saying what it's next to yeah i could do that for 10 hours. Where's cheese? Wait, man. It's back by the mops and the batteries. The dairy section is right next to automotive, right there by the armorall and right over there by the crutch tips. Right by the cotton balls and the razors. Come on now. It's cheese. Where do you think it is?

That should be a podcast. Just where the cheese is. It's by the caulk guns. It's by the toilet. Where do you think it is? It's by the foot powder and the greeting cards. It's cheese, damn it. It's so stupid.

The tough acting, ten acting. And the kitty lip. It's right there. And the kitty lip. It's right there. And the chocolate coins. It's right there. I don't know why you can't see it. It's cheese, damn it. If you hit the diabetes socks, you went too far.

Oh, God. Diabetes socks and sunscreen. It's over there, man. It's in the self-help section. Why can't you find it? Why can't you find it? Why can't you find it? The sliced cheese. First of all, if you're going to CVS for a sliced cheese,

you deserve all of this. The Pepto-Bismol and the beach towels. How do you not? It's down there by the sand chairs. You see it? Yeah. The seasonal shit. It's over by the sand chairs you see it yeah the seasonal shit it's over by the seasonal it's in the as seen on tv aisle that's right it's about the makeup and the makeup and the water shoes you see it it's right over there. The water. Oh, my God. All right. So check him out on our podcast.

We have another podcast called View from the Cheap Seats, Sports and Comedy and Indie Rock. And that's fun. Just had Mary Carrillo on. She was amazing. Unbelievable. She was talking about tennis. That was great. That was great.

And then we're live shows. We have a couple of big live shows. So we do Dumb People Town live. We do it at Largo every two months. And we usually have a huge musical guest, big time guest to come in and do it. And so that Largo shows on September 9th, Largo, Los Angeles. Do you know your guest yet? Are you allowed to say?

Not yet. We don't know yet, but we're out to a couple. And the last one we had Patton Oswalt and Lauren Lapkus. We had Jon Hamm and Kerry Cogariff. We had John C. Reilly. And Tim Heidecker. And then we had Zach Galifianakis and Will Forte. Like, Amy Mann was one of the musical guests.

It's a really fun show, yeah. Langhorne Slim. It was great. So that's on September 9th in L.A. at like 830. Then we're going to be doing a huge show at Tinley Park, the convention center in Chicago, South Chicago. A thousand seats. Yep.

We got to fill it. I'm expecting Honeydew. We're counting on you. Honeydew. Honeydew. Bring some CVS cheese if you're there. You're going to get that and some gauze pads. And the LaCroix.

And the jumper cable. One jumper cable. Only the red one. So we'll be there on the 27th of September. That's a Friday night. And then Saturday night we're going to be in Ann Arbor doing shows. And we just talked to, we were just hanging with him at the Montreal Comedy Festival. And he was amazing.

Blake Griffin. Blake Griffin. We're going to get him to come on the show. He may come and do like a guest set of comedy, which would just be amazing on that show. But we're going with Nate Craig, so you'd love that, dude. So that's on the 28th.

We've got two shows there. So all that stuff's out there. Superschoolers.com. You can check it all out. But listen to the podcast and hopefully you'll enjoy that. So as I said, what we do here

is highlight the lowlights. You guys came in with excitement about the lowlights that you've had in your life. So I'm going to let you steer this ship. You want to start with last night first? Before he starts last night, let me tell you why

I love this. Because as comics, as people, bad things happen to us. That's just the nature of it. We're all hustling. It hits us in certain ways. And you feel that. Whatever it is. you sweat you cry you're upset you get really upset at yourself you get upset at other people but then comics start to

process what happened and turn it over and say all the time about it you explain the story to someone and maybe you're mad and they're laughing and you're like oh there's actually a bit in here let's figure this out and suddenly there is the light that comes out of the darkness. That's exactly what you're talking about. And that happens every time something shitty happens to you. Last night, so I knew I was coming on this show today. I didn't do this to make this happen, but I'm at my son's basketball practice. How old's your son?

He's 10 and a half. Okay. We're talking. Not a game. Not a game. We're talking about practice. Not a game. Not a game. Not a game. Not a game. Not a game.

I mean, we're talking about practice. We're talking about practice. Practice. Practice. Practice. We're talking about practice. We're talking about... We're talking about a game?

Not a game. Not a game. We're talking about practice. Not a game where I give my life. I'm putting it on the line. Is it a scrimmage? No, no, no. We're talking about practice.

So I'm there and let me just tell you i've been away for five days in montreal comedy festival it is my time to take over with the kids and i'm at this practice with my daughter who's five and a half my son who's ten and a half who's in the practice my daughter does not want to be at this practice at all so it is all about maintaining her attention so that i can also sort of watch what's going on because i like to be a practice so she's outside the playground forever i'm like we got to go inside we got to go inside i want to see some of the practice so i bring her inside she's like put me on your shoulders so i could throw a basketball into the eight foot hoop great i do it for a little bit. Then she's like, can you jump up and touch the hoop? And I was like, yes, I can jump up and touch the hoop.

She's like, is that a challenge? Are you laying it down? I would lay it down. So I jump up and I touch the red thing and she's like, or the orange rim. And she's like, can you hang on it? And I'm like, she just bumped it up. And I'm like, if this it up and i'm like if this

keeps her attention yes can you throw a basketball on and i was like yes i can dunk on an eight foot basketball i've dunked it we've dunked on eight foot baskets i've done it we're five foot seven and a half whatever we are we're probably about the same as you uh i'm five ten we're about five seven don't bump him down we're like like 5'4", same as you. Maybe we're 5'8". You are taller than us. So I take this little ball, a kind of ball that even I can palm, and I'm like, I'm going to dunk this basketball.

Not thinking like I haven't slept a lot in the last five or six days. I'm not. You're thinking whether you're going to windmill it or go through the legs. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, do I go through the legs? Do I reverse? And I'm like whether you're going to windmill it or go through the yeah i'm like yeah do i go through the legs do i reverse and i'm like i we're 47 we're on our way to 48 and and the point of this story which i will get to in a second after i i go up i take a running start i go up from the side which i don't know feels taller to me uh and i i slam the ball down and i go to hold on to the rim

like and one mixtape. Because I want to point at some kids. Yeah, pull your legs up and show them you're nuts. You'll never do, right? That's my godson. That's my godson. Oh, baby. I hear the guy from the and one mixtape.

Oh, baby. Oh, baby. And I'm, you that guy half man half amazing I'm half man half annoying Alright so I get up And the professor's over there somewhere I'm the adjunct professor Jay's the teacher's assistant

The TA I'm the TA He's gonna run a discussion group about this So the ball goes in The little ball. I did dunk it. But I go to grab onto the rim, and I literally, like, swing straight. Swing straight.

My legs come up. I'm now horizontal to the ground. And I drop straight down, flat, eight feet, straight down. Straight on your spine? Flat on my back. My left hand goes down to stop me. And immediately I'm like, I broke my wrist and I broke my back. I'm like, that's it.

And my daughter is standing right there. There's eight other parents who I know and love. And they're like, oh, my God. I see the look on their face. Oh, my God. I'm like, the next season is going to be a fundraiser for me. Exactly. I'm going to be in Murderball now.

Wheeling you in so you can watch. I swear to God. This is like Ice Castle. I'm thinking about the ramps they have to put at my house now. The ramps. He's already on the ramps. I'm not moving. I'm laying there for a second.

And, I mean, the sound it made On the floor like shocked me Like the practice stopped Like the practice stopped everyone looked at me And I get up And I'm like I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay And I go to sit down and I'm talking to my daughter And you're like I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay

And all night I'm like I broke my back And I have to hold it together Are you concussed at all are you dizzy I'm not concussed my head didn't hit the floor I'm not dizzy but I'm like, I broke my back. And I have to hold it together because I don't want to. Are you concussed at all? Are you dizzy? I'm not concussed. My head didn't hit the floor. I'm not dizzy, but I'm literally like, I feel like a separation has happened between my lower back and my upper back.

Anytime I make any movement, there's a shooting pain. Still, like right now, I'm on some painkillers. But, like, it was so intense and I have to have it go looked at. And I was so embarrassed that I sat far away from all the other parents. Like, I was sweating from the embarrassment. Oh, yeah. Because I'm like, how do I face these people when they watch me do this thing, and now I'm acting like I'm okay.

I said I'm okay. And then I walk in the most crooked way over to them to hang out afterwards, and I don't bring it up. Like, I'm sitting there, and I'm like, who are we playing on Saturday? Exactly. Who are we playing on Saturday should not have been the first thing that came out of my mouth. No, it should have been like, help me get out of here. What happened to my L7?

Can someone drive me home? Who can drive my children home while I lay at the rec center for the next 10 days? It was the most embarrassing thing that's happened to me recently and I just didn't say anything about it. And I know they all were like, what the hell are you doing? What are you doing?

What am I doing? It's my son's basketball practice. I have no business. It's the ego. It's his fucking ego. It's my ego. And my son was like, what happened? And here's how I presented it to my son it's my ego and my son was like what happened and here's how i presented it to my son in front of my daughter i'm like she challenged me you start the sentence she challenged me she she wouldn't leave it alone i tried to pleasantly get out of it and she's like

you're gonna do this she egged me on she She egged me on. She made it impossible. I basically said to my son, she made it impossible for me not to do it. She checkmated me into doing it. And now I'm like, and now I'm literally like, I may never play basketball again because that's what aging is. Okay? Aging is just a series of moments in your life where you're like, I can't do that anymore. Yeah, that's done.

My dunking on a foot. Done. Check that off the list. Can't do that anymore. I was snowboarding this past year and fell like a bunch of times. And I was like, well, that's done. I can't do that anymore. And then I realized that my boot was coming out of my thing and then I fixed it and I was fine.

But like, it's just, I can't do that can't do that can't drink five drinks and then wake up at six in the morning and be a person again can't do that anymore you can't do anything that is the aging is the realization of the great shit you used to be able to do that you can't it's aging is just a crossing off the list of fun things that you used to do talking yourself out of why i shouldn't do that right now i mean and i think that was part of why I decided to do it. Like, we got to turn back. I mean, we're in a young business. Right?

This business keeps us young. We get to wear whatever we want to the job. Laugh at everything. Laugh at everything. Be stupid. Be silly. Be who we are. Be the most true version of ourselves.

That's what being young is. When you're young, you don't even think about it. You're just you. And then as you get older, you start to like, I can't do that. I shouldn't do that. But in comedy, you get to do all that. So you just think you can do that in the rest of your life with your physicality. Can't do it.

No. Do not do it. Don't do it. That's what happened. That's my first funny. That's just to get into it. That's just the start. The ramp up to get here.

We're starting. Literally the ramp. We wheeled you up. The ramp you were get here. We're starting. That's the get here. Literally the ramp. We wheeled you up. Yeah. The ramp you were thinking about. I love that you were right away. How am I going to put these ramps in my house? I'm going to have to widen every fucking hallway.

We're going to need a wider shower. I think came in my mind. I'm going to need a shower, a seat in my shower. A seat. It's terrible. That's when you know you're really getting old. I just got to sit down in the shower. I was talking.

I need a rest in the shower. This shower is eight minutes. I got to rest. You know where you can get a shower seat, though? Where? CVS. CVS, right next to the cheese. By the cheese and the bungee cords right over there.

How are you not seeing it cheese in the empty boxes no so uh that's so funny the eight minute shower you need a seat that reminds me we were just up with brian kiley you know brian kiley great writer on conan great stand-up just a really funny guy he made the observation that this made me laugh so hard about he's like i love the comics who come on on Conan to do their four minute set on Conan. And they have a bottle of water on it on a stool out there. Like, really, the four minutes that you're out there, you have to be hydrated. You got to hydrate.

You got to hydrate. Just, you know, he can't do his set of us. He still has water in the middle of that old thing. To me, that was hilarious. 100%. 100%. So we have a sip of water in the middle of that whole thing. To me, that was hilarious. 100%. So we have a list of stories here. I'm going to let you guys choose however you'd like.

I did ask you a question before we started. I asked, being twins, I'm a twin also, I asked if there was ever a time because this happened to me where my brother made the all-star baseball team. I did not. And because I was a a kid my dad's like well you're fucking coming every game so i had to go then go and sit and watch kids i was definitely

better than yeah play on this team and because they felt sorry for me they threw me a fucking you know a t-shirt that the team wore like i'm the mascot yeah you gotta wear that in the stands i'm wearing that in the stands and on the side did they not take you because they were like we can't have two sicklers that takes away too many spots from other non-sicklers maybe i honestly don't remember i just know i didn't make it he did but after that i never fucking missed another one i was like fuck that shit i'm not see that made you better that made you better better it made you care maybe you didn't care enough and this is the thing that i mean i think when we were younger we both like i was identified as gifted and so i did some gifted stuff and he was not he was talented he was talented yeah yeah and he was not and so i would do these like and that was a point of i think so you're in different classes we were our regular classes but then i there was a gifted program

where you would go to a place in the school that I don't even know we had this place in the school. And they would just do other stuff with you, which, you know, was fine. And I was happy to do it. But I did feel bad. I was like, how would I be identified? What a cruel thing to do. You couldn't have been that far off. Our parents did a great job of managing that.

Like I did this other thing, like a reading series, like a great book series or something like that. But they just made it. So it's not that big of a deal but i think it made you work harder in school maybe he ended up doing better than me in school all oh really and i think so because what age grade what are we talking about we're talking like second grade third grade so young not young enough to be able to process that right fully but but young and old enough to ruin your fucking ego and everything else. I gotta say our parents managed it really well. They did handle that. That could have been really bad.

It could have been like your dad being like come on, go watch your brother do gifted shit. And put on the shirt. Did he say put on the shirt? No. He let you know. They felt bad for him. Of course. Man, that's crazy. Crazy, crazy. Let's tell the story about

how we were we did this thing in a movie we just saw him just saw Anthony Anderson who was in the movie with us we did this movie called My Baby's Daddy this is like the first or the second movie we'd ever done where we had like scenes

like we didn't understand like what certain people's coverage in scenes were. When the camera's behind us and it's on Anthony Anderson and not on us, we would just stand in his shot, block his shot. What are you guys doing? The director would be like, this is not for you. You almost don't have to talk or be here, but we want to get a corner of your shoulder.

So get out. And we would just walk in. So we learned, we learned a lot. We learned a lot, but it was fun. We played, it was a long time ago.

When was it? What year was it? 2002 or something like that. So we played 2003, 2003. We were white rappers. Okay. A white rapping duo duo called the brothers styles.

And our, okay a white rapping duo duo called the brothers styles and our and our hit in the movie that we performed on stage in the movie to play back that we wrote with these dudes like real rappers real like rap producers rap producers and and rappers wrote it with them right by the capitol building here. And like one night late night, we wrote it with them. They got us so high. I mean, it was unreal how high they got us. And like we wrote the thing. Wrote a rap song. Wrote a rap song. We were called.

It was called. Double Barrel. Double Barrel. Double Barrel. Because we were hot and black on the inside. That was the. Double Barrel. Double Barrel. So the Brothers Styles. on the inside that was the double barrel double barrel so the brother styles like ridiculous no so like it was but it was a great experience and really fun and just weird and we had to record it

so we wrote it then we went down and recorded it in like a studio where other rap shit was recorded then we sang it in or we lip synced it lip synced what we had recorded in the movie this is how much we didn't understand about rap culture like we were trying to do just on stage and i was going like this with my hand like this pulling it back and someone had to sit me down say no from black culture and be like, it's this. It's not this. This makes you look like an idiot. This is right.

Because you're saying it right here, and I'm like, it's not this? And they're like, it's this. And that's the line of demarcation between any white person and a black person who's cool. White people are this. Doing this. Black people are doing this. And this is right and this is wrong.

That's what we learned. Terrible. But we did it we did it and it was fun i mean it was really fun and the whole scene was how we start you know michael imperioli is our manager and he wants sopranos yeah he is like fresh off like in the sopranos you know so like you know it was huge to be with him and he's there and he's managing us and we have to change this whole club's mind that we are because we're white and everyone in the club's like we're not going to give them a minute but over the course of the song they all start getting into it by the end of the song the whole club's going crazy in that and we're doing great that's who's the guy who was the record the guy from uh from the fifth element who was the record. The guy from Fifth Element. Who's the big Zeus. Tiny Lister. Tiny Lister.

Tiny Lister, yeah. Tiny Lister, who we told everyone on set. Friday. We said Friday. Debo. So we told everyone on set. They put us up in an apartment thing, okay? It was a hotel.

It was a hotel, but it was a huge suite and everything. This is for the movie, not in the movie. For the movie. This is like we spent a month in Toronto. Oh, wow. It was great. everything and this is for the moon this is like we spent a month in toronto oh wow great like hung out with eddie griffin who was in the movie and method man who was in the movie like we got to hang with him amazing incredible and like we totally didn't understand how great that was and we were out with all them we're like we're gonna have a party in our giant suite on friday night

everyone's invited come to this party just light it up. It's going to be like Friday. You know, it's going to be amazing. One person. Tiny Lister and his Asian girlfriend. And he just talked to us about God for an hour. Talked to us about God for like an hour. We're like, this is the worst party. He talked to us with his one good eye. About God.

Single bear. Single bear. Single bear. die about a guy single bear he was he he was more of just a flare gun so we so we did it in the movie and it was great i actually loved what we did in the movie i've seen it a couple times i mean while the idea and concept of a white person rapping now has been done to death to the point where it's like it's back then it was okay and i actually liked what we did we managed to do what we do in these characters and it was really funny and and playing off a tiny lister who was just this badass dude like a suge knight type he gave us a ton i have to give him a lot of credit because in our scenes he was like very withholding and very menacing and all this shit and it forced us to be really funny he like he would yell at us

and we were just the way we jumped was so funny like i have to give a lot of credit because he gave us a lot as actors so it was really fun so a couple months after the movie comes out and everything they said our song made it on the on the cd on the second oh yeah this is great cd back when cds still exist i remember those so they're like we're gonna have a cd release party at hollywood and highland upstairs at this club and this this you guys are singing that track i mean rapping we wrapped that track but i mean we didn't wrap it in the movie we wrapped it on right we recorded it and then did many takes yes and then haven't sung or rapped that song in like two years and i don't know why we thought yeah we can do that so they asked us if we would perform at this like at the release party

okay you guys have been for the last two years like you've been doing that song every night out there. Not only did we do that, but I was up in Northern California in Big Sur with my then girlfriend proposing to her that weekend. This is 15 years ago. Or 16 years ago. Is this your now wife? My now wife.

And I was up there. I proposed to her. And then Randy, I guess you called me up there or we guess we kind of knew that it was happening we thought like but we kind of i was like we gotta get we gotta be you gotta get down here and i was like i'm supposed to be here until we were gonna stay until the night on monday night he's like you gotta leave early and come down for this because you gotta be here on time because we gotta be on time because yeah that sound check because that's what every great rapper is known for.

Like, this motherfucker be punctual, man. He be punctual. He be on time. He be on time. This dude, not a minute late. All the best rappers. I'm left in engagement weekend. Right.

So I'm like, we're looking at the beautiful view, and I'm like, let's go. We gotta get down for the sound check for what will only be the most embarrassing thing we've ever had done in our entire lives in front of a thousand people. We just didn't know it. We're like, oh, we can handle it. We got it. So a thousand people. A thousand people.

A thousand people. Okay. That's a lot of people. A thousand. Too many people. Too many people. So we get there and we sound check and we're kind of shaky on it. And we're like.

At what point are you talking to each other like i don't remember uh the whole time we're trying to sound check and get it and it's we're talking to each other and we're blaming each other blaming each other that's the other part of being in a duo is like you always immediately blame the other person for anything that goes wrong so we are in the back and then all of a sudden we're not the only ones performing there's like a low rent swv like they're this girl group and like a three-man boy group is performing and like some other singer is performing and like people who are legitimately in the record this is what they do they do it's their passion they do it all the time and they are gifted we're dressed like this just like normal

fucking i just came down from northern california like what did they have you wearing in the movie so in the movie it was like i shaved my chest in the movie it was like we're wearing like these big like like kangol hats and jumpsuits and like you know what i mean like timberlands it was great it was so much fun to put all this shit on. I loved it so much. It was just a blast to just be something else and be someone else. I don't know if it's in there.

If you can find my baby's daddy, you gotta look for it. So the brother styles in my baby's daddy. And so if, so we, S-T-Y-L-Z-L-Z-L-Z. Yeah, definitely don't want to spell it correctly I don't know if it was in there I don't see it alright well that's how big we were in this movie

so anyway so we were sitting in the back and we're just all gathered before like way before this thing is about to start and people are filing in you guys should look on YouTube and see if you can find a clip of the scene. So all of a sudden we're sitting back there and this tall

black dude comes up to us and he's got two orange jerseys. Like basketball jerseys. I mean, way oversized. Like Yao Ming would be like, give me the size down. Right?

Way oversized. Way oversized. Like, XXXX. Like, Yao Ming would be like, give me the size down, right? So, he says who his name is. It's too big for Yao. Yeah, Yao Ming. So, he says who his name is, and he's like, he told us who he was. He's Dominique Wilkins' brother.

Dominique Wilkins, human highlight, you know, from Atlanta, one of the greatest players of all time. Always would come in second to Michael Jordan in dunk contests. So this guy is his brother, and he basically invented, I wouldn't say invented, but perfected and claimed the windmill dunk. The tomahawk. The tomahawk, the windmill. He did what I did at the youth center.

He's slightly worse. He's not as good, or else he would have beat Jordan if he did what I did. Okay Slightly worse Only not as good Or else he would have beat Jordan If he did what I did Dude If someone in the dunk contest Literally held onto the rim Went sideways

And fell down flat I'd give him I'd give him a 50 Just give him the trophy Give him a Kia Give him a Kia Give him a Kia He jumped over

That's right Just it So we So he comes up to me He's like Hey man Will you wear these jerseys When you do your he comes up to he's like hey man will you will you wear these jerseys when you do your thing up there and we're like yes please thank you we don't have to

wear what we're wearing right now we'll wear this i didn't think i i think i just wore the jersey i didn't like and jeans i just took it off and it was just huge and we're like okay this is good it's making us feel like we're okay okay okay little more. Okay, okay, we got this. What does it say? Do you remember? I can't. We were both number 33, I think, or 32, whatever he was. I think 33 was that.

I don't know. I don't remember. It was two or 32 or three. 32 or 33. It was his number, but it wasn't a Hawks jersey. I know it didn't say Atlanta Hawks. One was red and orange, and the other one was white and red and orange. So kind of Atlanta Hawks colors, but it just wasn't like the dude could not get copyrights for anything.

Like when he gave it to me, I was like, oh, you're estranged from Dominique. And you're like, you don't have a relationship. You haven't spoken to him in 10 years. He doesn't know about this. Nobody cleared this shit. Nobody did. So it is fucking packed. I mean, it's packed.

A thousand people. A thousand people at Hollywood Highland upstairs in this club, and they're all watching. All up the top level? Yes. I know exactly. It was going to be the Wayans Brothers Club for a minute. I know exactly where you're talking about.

They introduce us to very little cheering. To nothing. Because nobody knows who we are. Nobody knows who we are in this thing. And the music starts. And by the way, this is how deluded we were and how stupid we were. Because we're like, we perform all the time. I think somewhere in the back of my mind the deep deep back of my mind i

was like we might be talking to someone about a record deal after tonight it could happen like we'll have to say no because we're busy with other stuff like but we'll be polite and we'll listen to let them down lightly let let capital pitch us, and then we'll let them down lightly. Let them down lightly. Tell them we'll think about it, then we'll email them. So we get up on stage, and we fucking suck. We suck so bad. We're off the time of the music.

Do you forget the words? Forget words. It's opening lines. And once you get slow, you're like, do you catch up with the words that you missed, or do you just jump to the point and start where the music is at? And we couldn't decide. And we couldn't figure it out. So we're doing different things.

Are you going back on it? We're doing a lot. We've defaulted to this instead of this. We forgot everything they taught. It was a mess. It was a disaster. And we could see some of our friends who we invited there. Even they were like, oh.

I don't know who they are. You know when your friends can't look at you when you're doing something? It was so bad. And we're like, this is not us. We're dying with other people's stuff. It was just like, no one is dancing. No one's clapping. It's the opposite of what happened in the movie.

Like we had everyone at the beginning. And then by the opposite of what happened in the movie like we started had everyone at the beginning and then by the end of the song we lost the whole room the anti of the movie so we go to the back and we're sitting in the back and we are like what the we are so embarrassed how long was the song three three minutes which by the way

is an eternity it's an eternity it was an eternity and we go to the back and we're sitting in the back. And, like, now nobody's talking to us. Meanwhile, before the many Shetland sisters with voices, they're, like, talking us up. They're, like, chatting us up and stuff. And this guy's talking to us and all this stuff.

We get back to the back, and no one is talking to us. It is deathly quiet. But there's a lot of people in there. And now Dominic Wilkins, a strange brother, is now strange from you guys. It is deathly quiet. There's a lot of people in there. Dominique Wilkins, a strange brother, is now strange from you guys. He comes back. So he comes back. It is so quiet. It is so deathly quiet.

And he whispers, but everyone could hear it. He's like, yeah, I'm going to need those jerseys. And he took the jerseys back. Made us take the jerseys off. And Randy had taken his shirt off. So his shirt was off. So now he's. It was so.

I had to go get my shirt and put it on and button it up. It was so humiliating. It was. And then I had to go face my now fiance. Who was like. That was worth it. I was worth it. Rethinking everything else.

So glad. Yeah. So glad we drove home early for this. And I was like, this is a foreshadowing to the future of your life. Oh, man. It was a great,

terrible moment that took us a while to understand how great that moment was. We were mortified. We wouldn't even come out to the party. Like, I mean,

because like after everyone did their songs, it was like the other two hours of like a party with great food. We gotta leave. We gotta leave. But that was just a great, beautiful. That is fucking great. two hours of like a party with great food. We got to leave. We had to leave. We got to leave.

But that was just a great. That is fucking great. Beautiful. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what it is, man. We can laugh now. We can laugh. I bet it took us like six months after that to be able to look back at that and be like,

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and use promo code HONEYDOO to claim your bonus today. And now back to the do. All right, so I'm gonna do that we'll tell you this other one so when we first moved out here to Los Angeles moved from New York to LA I'm just looking at

one of you in a fucking goddamn Yao Ming jersey shirtless sitting backstage like I was waiting for the doctor to come in and like give me a prostate not dr j yeah so so we moved to uh so we moved from new york to la in 99 moving and in new york we lived in a very

small apartment it was three of us me and jay and then our friend eric friedman great writer great dude we've been close with him since high school you know he lived in new jersey we lived in st louis we connected on an overseas trip that we took and just stayed close he went to a different college but we stayed close and then we're like let's move to new york together let's write comedy together we just had this and he's just a different college, but we stayed close. And then we're like, let's move to New York together. Let's write comedy together. We just had this. And he's just a wonderful person. He lives here in L.A. in Eagle Rock now.

So when we first moved to L.A., we lived on Harper between 1st and 3rd. Kind of West Hollywood. West on near the Beverly Center, kind of West Hollywood area. Kind of right in the center of everything. But we moved from New York where we lived in Chelsea, very small apartment but three bedrooms, which, that's unheard of to this upper floor of a house of a duplex in big it was huge it was like it was so big we had all this space we had like

rooms we had a dining room we had a breakfast nook we had had a kitchen. Each of us had rooms. We had a huge... Where were your framed jerseys? Right next to the sliced cheese. In a shadow box by the sliced cheese. And the brooms. By the shadow boxes and the dustpans. You can buy shirts, T-shirts and CVS. I'm sure you can. I'm sure.

And they're like... But they're not like a real brand. They'll just say like California sports. Yeah, that's it. And they'll have like a sailboat on it. And they're like, but they're not like a real brand. They'll just say like California sports. Yeah, that's it. And they'll have like a sailboat on it. And you're like, what sport is that? What sailing team? So we're in this apartment and we're like, we need to throw a party.

We got to throw a party. And we knew a bunch of people from the comedy scene because we started coming to LA in 98 to like develop this show from New York. And that was really the comedy scene here was what said we gotta go we gotta go plus where you're living you're right there next to the improv the laugh factor and the comedy all of it you're right there in the middle of all but we even like went to like largo on a monday night and the monday night largo show was the show yeah that was it that was jack black it was right you know that's the old location

griffin it was bob odenkirk it was like you know david cross all the best alphanakis all the people we loved and that we idolized and then we were on the show with them and it felt really really special and good so we were doing that when we were traveling out in 98 to like write the show and then we said okay we should just move here and so we got out here and the comedy scene was very embracing and very cool. We became friends with lots of people. We had a lot of people from New York who moved out here. So we were like, let's throw a party.

We have a big space. Let's just throw this huge party. So this is like 99. We were making mixtapes of music to play. So taking music off of CDs and stuff and and putting it onto a tape that we were then going to just mix tape. We need four tapes for this party. That's the amount of time this party is going to be and it'll auto

reverse and flip over on the other side and then we're all good. We went around to the neighborhood and invited everyone to come. We didn't want them to call the cops. We invited you. You cannot call the cops on us like we invited you you cannot call the cops on us or if you have a problem just let us know and we'll turn it down like let us know and don't let the cops know that's pretty much we were doing like this couple

that was like 87 years old like they were going to come to this party but we were introduced ourselves and all this stuff so there's a woman who who lived across the street from us in an apartment thing and she her name was Susan I do not know her last name and I met somebody who lived across the street from us and knew her so like I'm not just imagining her this and the way we characterize her in this is exactly

the way that she is she had like a this is 2000 right so she probably had a 1993 Saab convertible. Like a Saab. It was maroon Saab. And she would wash that thing every day. It was almost like she was watering the car,

hoping it would grow into a newer, better car. I'm like, it's not going to change. It's just a fucking Saab. That's all it's going to be. And I bet you could trace california's drought straight to her right so she's wanting to sing all day like slow down and like every day every day you gotta wash and she but that tells you everything you need to know about her and like the car couldn't get clean enough she was fastidious about it and she would always be

wearing like short shorts. Was she attractive? She had a beautiful, amazing body because she worked out, I think, a lot too. I think she worked out and watered the sob, and that's all she did in her life. Watered the sob. I'm not saying. Trying to water the sob. Who's going to water that? And she was okay.

She was older. What would you say? 30s at the time. She was at the time. We were 27. She was probably about 40, 45. So significantly older. But she was in amazing shape.

And she was, you know. But her face, not so much. Yeah, but, you know, whatever. Who are we to talk? I mean, we're hideous. But she was an aging woman who was still in shape and watering her car every day. All right. So she had to know about an uptight person.

So we invited her. She was out watering the car, of course. We invited her car every day. All right. So she had to know about an uptight person. So we invited her. She was out watering the car, of course. We invited her to come and everybody else. And we get back and we're just like making the mixtape. And we had invited everybody, all of our comedy. Any person we knew in comedy who was out here, they were coming to this party, we hoped. We hoped.

And we had called a bunch of friends and put a bunch of calls out. So we were waiting to hear back who's going to come just to give us an idea. And roughly what are you expecting? Like the 100 people. Okay, that's a lot of friends and put a bunch of calls out so we're waiting to hear back who's gonna come just give us an idea and roughly what are you expecting like a hundred a hundred people okay that's a lot of people and and i would say probably 75 to 100 people came wow okay it was super fun party super fun it was great but it's the afternoon we're making the mixes we're loud it's loud we're just blasting the music we're excited. We've talked to all the neighbors. It is what it is.

Phone rings. Phone rings. I'm in the front of the house. Randy's in the back making the mixtape. And I'm in the front of the house, and I answer the phone. I say hello, and it's this woman from across the street with a question about the party. She's like, hey, it's Susan.

And then I hear the phone ring, and I pick it up in the back, and I'm like. A minute later. Remember when you could do that yeah so he picked up the other landline it's how long ago it is I pick it up you're listening in on a call I just picked it up because I

you can't listen you can't just be like gently pick up a receiver so right and your name comes up so he picks up the phone. I pick up the phone and he hasn't heard hello, it's Susan from across the street. No, I just pick it up because I tried to grab it because there's music playing and I ran

to it. I was like, hello? And she says hi. But she had already told me who she was. So I said, she sounded like our friend Lisa Delarios who's a great comic from Austin, Texas. Really good friend and at the time she was really

good friends and still is. I'm sure it was Zach. And so we were like, Zach's coming and Galifianakis and we thought, you're going to come and he's going to come and Dennis Gubbins is going to come. Although that group of people were going to show up and I was so psyched that she had got the message that we really wanted her

to come. So she was like, I have a question about tonight. Randy's like, hey, do you know where it is? Do you know how to get here? So the second Randy says, do you know how to get here? I'm like, he has no idea this is a woman from across the street. So she's like, yeah, of course. And I was like, okay. You know, music's still blasting. I'm all right jesus attitude and what's playing what what kind of music is probably like sublime bad fish you know what i mean or like some big pun big pun like it's still not a player still not a player come on that's a little bit of that double barrel I'm going to need those shirts back man like Dominique Wilkins brother walks in here

and is like I'm going to need these shirts back you didn't give us these shirts man this is my shirt can't take this back so she's like I don't know the name of the clothing line but I think it was probably like unique clothing. Yeah.

For me. It was not. I was like, you boo. Instead of fooboo. You boo. I had to F all the time. You boo. P-H-U-B.

All right. B-O. P-H-U-B-O-O. Fooboo. p-h-o-o-b-o-o so this woman says I have a question because you want to get to it and she's like is it okay if I bring some friends with me to the party

and before Jason can answer because it's Lisa Delarios and we have just the type of relationship. He thinks it's hers. I think it's hers. So I say... So he's going to do a bit now with her. So I say, sure, the more pussy, the better.

To the woman who waters her son. Okay. Now, I, like, almost dropped the final. Oh, my God. Well, I, like, move away with it. And because we have the same voice. Yeah, I was going to say. I don't know if she knows if he's even gotten on the phone.

And I'm like, she's going to think I did that. Yeah. And I was like. She's like, okay. I'm like,'s gonna think i did right yeah and i was like she's like okay i'm like kidding yes bring as many people and then we hang up the phone and i'm like she's gonna call the cops on this party who lisa delario's like no susan randy like threw the phone he like threw it he couldn't handle it he was like what did i do and i'm like you ruined our party before it even happened she's gonna call the cops like before it even happened because why we didn't show up.

She doesn't show up to the party. She doesn't. Party's great. Doesn't show up. Nobody calls the cops. Next morning, we are hung over. Just going to walk down the street half a block to where toast was. Yeah.

And grab some breakfast. Breakfast. And then postmortem the party and talk. And just talk about the whole thing. I come outside. She's, of course, watering her car. She's there. With the like an aggressive silence. You know what I mean? Just what? And I'm like, watering her car. She's there. With, like, an aggressive silence.

You know what I mean? Just water. And I'm like, I got to go over and say something. She's our neighbor. She's our neighbor. We got to live with this person. I got to go over and say something to apologize. I'm sorry about my brother, sir.

So Jason's a real loose cannon. He's like, I got this. I'll take care of it. I'll take care of this myself. Meanwhile, and I was like, again, hungover. You're not thinking properly. We partied hard. Like, we threw down the way 27-year-olds who are in this city newly.

The way I would try to do today and be like, Oop, can't do that anymore. That's all. That's fun. Can't have a party. Done by 10.30. I mean, we partied late. We partied hard.

We wake up. And then i go i gotta i gotta deal with this i can't we can't just walk by and not say anything that would be the worst i've got to handle it right now our parents brought us up to be like you got an issue you got a problem you gotta don't avoid it that's not the way to do it you walk right over to it so i walk over and proceed to make everything 10 times continue to dig a hole that she's watering and now it's mud and it's all around me. And I just was like, Susan,

I am so sorry about what I said yesterday. I thought you were my friend, Lisa. You clearly are not. He kept like saying, I thought you were my friend. I thought you were a friend of mine. You are clearly not a friend of ours.

You know, friends sometimes, if they're really close friends they have to say anything to them you can say anything to them it's kind of like if you can't handle it you kept like going and making it i mean i don't know if you have close friends you're standing there listening i'm like about 12 feet away like just going like this i don't even know how to get in and like i i don't even know how to get in. I don't know if you have any. Let me just take the home suit. You know, if you put your thumb over it, you can pray like this. I don't know if you have any close friends in your life, but when you do, you're out here by yourself most of the time.

Whatever Randy was saying, you just kept making it so bad. And we literally could. If she was outside and Randy was. We had to be somewhere. I had to wait for her to be done. To be done with the car in order to leave the house. Because I just couldn't do it with her there. Because I just couldn't face this woman for the rest of the time that we lived.

And then you moved. How long are we talking about? We're talking about like three months because it was the end of our. Okay. Yeah. So like for three months. Three months. Three months.

Every time. I'd have to look out, see if she was gone and wait for it. That was probably like four times. But still I saw him hiding in the house like Anne Frank from the Nazi comments he made. And he's hiding hiding until she's gone.

How was her response? Was she polite? Defiant? Silent? She was quietly unhappy and disappointed with everything that I was saying. She wasn't letting him off the hook. Because there's two ways. She could have been like, ah, don't worry about it. I get it. She let me on.

She kept me on the hook. She kept going. She's like, mm-hmm. She almost wasn't saying anything, stepping, and just letting him hang himself with his own rope. It was amazing to watch, terrible to be in. He was sweating. I'm sweating. Sweating.

Sweating on alcohol. Just spewing out from my forehead. It was so embarrassing. Just to step in it over and over and over again. It was a great, great fuck up in life. It was just perfect. Nuts. Yeah, you guys have a lot, great fuck up in life. It was just perfect. Nuts. Yeah, you guys have a lot of haunted dude moments.

You're not lying. You kind of have to, we live our lives in such a way that like, you're going to, it's either going to be great or it's going to be terrible. We hope it's great, but if it's terrible, we got a story. I also think that our lot in life and what we do, it's partly because we do that and we can see those moments that that shit does happen. I agree with you.

I agree with you. Although I do think these things happen to other people. They definitely do. They just try to forget them immediately because they're just so traumatizing and horrifying. We're all like, Hey, remember that time you said,

you said that, right. Or like, I brought that up to him forever. I'm like, why the tron why why did this made me feel so bad i was so mad at myself for doing that i was so embarrassed for you know the whole interaction afterwards was just made it 10 times worse i'm like i feel terrible

whenever you feel anything as hard as you feel it it's there's something there's something in it i know it's like just to just to feel yourself suddenly sweating in a situation where you should not be sweating it was that's that's it hit me with that hose real quick that is a sob story that is a sob story. Wow. Why don't you share this St. Louis story with us? So this is a story that happened to us a long time ago. We were back in St. Louis, right? Were we still in New York or were we in L.A. at that point?

I think we were in L.A. L.A. because just after. Right after the Susan party. 2002. Okay. So yeah, so we were in L.A. and we came back to St. Louis. And we weren't performing in St. Louis. I think that weekend.

We were just visiting our parents. And we went to, why were we at the radio station? I think we were, because someone we know was on the radio in St. Louis. And he's like, hey, I didn't know you guys were in town. You want to come do something on the show? Great. Yes. So, we popped in and we walked by the old Funny Bone Comedy Club. Which is downstairs from the radio station. Still there, I think.

In the mall, the Westport Mall where I had my first kiss in the glass elevators going up there in San Francisco. That was a nice moment. And that was the same night we went with a bunch of people up to this like Benihana style place called robata of japan it was my first date of my life my date ate the food got sick threw up in the bathroom i had to take her home couldn't go to the dance but when i took her home i hung out with the babysitter who was pretty cool i didn't ask her out but she was pretty cool uh because she had a little brother. And me and the babysitter waited for her parents to get home. And we watched the Bill Buckner through the legs.

You saw that game with her that night? I saw that game with her from like the seventh inning on. It was amazing. It was so great. Back there behind the bag. Here comes Knight to score. And the Mets win. And then like 25 seconds of no calling right and then I just hear like throwing up like in the corner I'm like should I ask if she's okay

uh because I'm freaking out from that moment but anyway so we walk by we see who's who's performing at the club by the way I think us telling this story we've told it a little bit before and something else it like is the reason why the Funny Bun will never book us again. But we're going to tell this story. Is that right? Yeah. Correct. In our own hometown.

So we walk by the thing and we see who's performing there that night. It's Ryan Stout, a comedian. Of course. Stouty the best. Great dude. We love him. He's so funny. And Randy and I were like, oh, my God, that's amazing. We're in town. Of course. Stouty the best. Great dude. Love him. He's so funny. And Randy and I were like, oh, my God, that's amazing.

Like, we're in town. We weren't planning on performing. Because years earlier, we were doing a headlining weekend at the Funny Bone, and Chappelle was in town and said, hey, man, can I jump on your show, like the early Saturday night show or the late Saturday night show? We're like, yes. Of course. 100%.

That's what you do. Like, when another headliner comes. It's the most beautiful thing you can do in comedy, to have a drop-in, someone who people may or may not know. I don't know that people knew us, but we were like, hey, right, can we jump on the show and do a guest set? We weren't asking for an hour. We weren't asking for 30 minutes.

We were asking for like 10 minutes, right? And he's like, that sounds awesome. Let me just let the club know so they just know what's up. To get another microphone and all that shit. He calls us back like five minutes later. He's like, that sounds awesome. Let me just let the club know so they just know what's up. To get another microphone and all that shit. He calls us back like five minutes later. He's like, they said no. We're like, they said no? We're like, come on, man.

Now you're messing with us. He's like, they said no. We were like, all right. That's just so weird. That's weird. And then what happened? Then we came back in. And then he said, okay, they'll let you do it on a different night.

They'll let you do it on a different night. It's like a Best of St. Louis night, not during the weekend, but it's a Best of St. Louis night, and it was – We might be confusing two stories. Are we confusing – oh, this came after this. I think the start was later. Sorry. This came after this. That was their response when they found out that we had told this other story.

So the other story – and it's similar. It's similar. We were back. We found out. We asked them if we can get on to a Best of St. Louis show. It was a benefit show for diabetes, which our dad had. And we had already been on TV and stuff. That's right.

Sorry. Sorry to confuse that. And then they said, yes, you can come on the show, and you can come on at the end of the show. And we said, great. You can do 30 minutes. The end of a show, which had, it was also poorly planned, because it was like eight comics doing 10 minutes,

and then us doing 30 minutes. That's a terrible idea. But we were like, okay, we'll do it. We'll gladly do it. And our parents come to the show. They're like, we'll come. This is the best of St. Louis. Yes.

They're like, we'll come. We'll see you guys there. We were like, I don't know. You don't have to come. They're like, we'll come. We're like, this is the, we're the best of St. Louis. Yes. They're like, we'll come. We'll see you guys there. We were like, you don't have to come. They're like, Nope, let's go. Let's go.

They, they show up. And of course, like we're all in one car. So we're like sitting in the back seat. Like we're eight, you know, and our parents are driving us to this thing.

So they go in and we get them situated in the back and we start watching the show and we're standing out in the bar and all these comics who like, you know, they've been around St. Louis for a while while they clearly like some people were not like happy that we had just drifted in and are now headlining the show you know they're not they're the kind of people like when someone's like aggressively complimenting you you're like you don't mean that right yeah you're doing great you guys are really doing good we just uh we're doing really good we're not big time really happy for all of your success superstars like you and we're like we're not that either but

it was just it made us feel uncomfortable and then other comics that we knew good comics from st louis were coming off stage and people were like how's how is it in there and they're like don't take a breath man do not take a breath when you hear don't take a breath you know it's like an unruly crowd and if you give them an inch like it's over they're stepping on your throat yeah period and so the show keeps going on and on and it's getting worse and they're like the diabetes benefit diabetes benefit sold out right and our blood sugar is like dropping because we're like this is a nightmare it's terrible so so we're in the back and they're like we'll light you at 27 and we're like yeah i guess so and the guy gets up and he like almost purposely doesn't give any of our credits none none he's

like your next comic not even your headliners whatever he just he basically and did he get our name right i can't remember he was trying to tell people to be quiet so long that i think he forgot what he was supposed to say about us and so he said our name right? I can't remember. He was trying to tell people to be quiet so long that I think he forgot what he was supposed to say about us. And so he said our name. The next act is the Sklar brothers. We come up, no recognition. Nobody knows who we are. We walk by our parents.

Nothing like St. Louis' zone. No, nothing like... And we'd done stuff. We had done stuff. We get on stage and they're not listening to... They're talking as we get on stage and we are not far enough in our career to know how to handle it like i will say the other night we saw you a couple months let me a month ago at the comedy store you had to follow joey diaz and it was

pretty much his crowd like a lot of people there to see him and we watched you make tiny adjustments in what you were doing and punch certain things in your material, which we love the material, but you knew what to hit to try and save that room because you basically followed the last guy they should have seen. That's the crazy thing about the comedy stories. It's Sebastian. You're following everybody. Then it's Joey Diaz.

Then it's you better be ready. You better be ready. And so we watched you come on stage and have a good set after that, which is nearly impossible. Yeah, Joey's tough to follow. No one's got stories like that. No one's got stories like that. No matter what you say, and you have great stories,

your stories aren't going to have an edge like his. No. Your stories aren't going to be about selling drugs and shooting a guy. Your story isn't going to be. Seeing a dead body at six. Right. Yeah. And then still being friends with that guy. You know, like. Right. Yeah. And then still being friends with that guy,

you know, like kidnapping someone and be friends. No one has that story except him. So, so we watched you and you knew what, how to like, you probably in the back, you did the best you could be in that situation,

which is nearly impossible. Called on all of your experience. We didn't have that experience yet. Right. So we start performing and we can just be, and we're telling a long story and we just feel the room just losing losing losing the whole room losing the we lost our parents i'm like what you guys are here for us i'm like talking i'm like what are you doing uh and it's just it is just talking so unruly no one paying attention.

We look down and laughing. We look down. We are like eight minutes into our 30 minutes. We're like through half of our material. See like the comics who were aggressively commenting, like peeking their head in the room, like giving us the like, yeah, yeah. Keep going. And we're now we're turning on each other a little bit.

We're almost delivering the act to each other angrily man man and some guys like hey man some guy from like three tables in front of me is like you guys suck like at a at a diabetes benefit you guys suck and this is like it should we should have come back with something but we just didn't know what to do. So stupidly, we opened up the floor and we're like, okay, sir, why do we suck? And he's like, I don't know. You just suck. We're like, and the crowd goes crazy. And we're like, how did he beat us with the same, same information?

And now we're like, no new information. Like we offered nothing to the, and, and, and the crowd's laughing. And we, so then we, what did we do at that point? We started yelling at this guy. Started yelling at this guy. And we went off on him in a way that. Well, we said like this, and this worked. God, I would have loved to have seen this.

We were like. Not you guys. We're like, you're so fucking dumb. Because now we're so mad. And our parents are there. This is not what we wanted to do at all. In front of our parents. You're so fucking dumb. That we're going to have to talk to you like a dog.

Who is just shit on the carpet. And so we're going to now tell you that what you just did is not right as if you were a dumb dog. You stupid dog. Bad dog. You bad dog. No. You dumb idiot dog. You dumb fucking dog.

I'm going to get a newspaper and hit you on the back. You stupid dog. You want to go in the cage, you bad fucking dog. You idiot. You dumb. We're just hammering, hammering, hammering and then the crowd likes that the crowd loved that, loved it like applause break, and it felt

terrible what we just did then we tried to go into our next bit and they just lost, we lose them again and we're just like 13 minutes we're like alright, goodnight, humiliated and we're so mad, get off the stage after 13 minutes. This is a nightmare. Walk past all these people who are mean to me.

Comedians are like, yeah. Walk past the comedians who are like, yeah. Can't spell Sklar without L-A. Yeah, good night, bro. Yeah, all right. That is right. But I mean, that's awful, I guess. Grammatically, you're correct.

Technically, that's terrible. And so we go outside. Go up the escalator. In this indoor mall. Indoor mall. And we're like walking. And it's like blaming each other. Why can't you handle your business?

My business, it's my side of the room. I can't control this side of the room. What if we were on the other side of the stage? He's like, well, handle your business. Handle your business. I'm like arguing with him. It's the dumbest argument ever. And we're so pissed.

We get all the way to the parking garage. And then we stop. And we're like pissed we get all the way to the parking garage and then we stop and we're like mom and dad they're back there with the guy they're in the room in the you gotta go back all the way back oh no and we're the end of the show so so we have to walk back through the crowd that hated us like get booing us while they're booing us on an escalator you ever get heckled on an escalator and it goes real slow it goes real yeah you guys have a lot of trouble and it's like they can keep talking it's not like you can go and go anywhere you're on the escalator oh my god so we get down and our parents are sitting in the

lobby sitting in the lobby sitting in the lobby just on this little bench like they're you know like immigrants at you know ellis island waiting for a new last name they're just sitting there sitting there and and we're like let's go let's get the fuck out of here let's go please so mad at them and they wanted to come and we're like just mad at them for supporting our comedy. Like, it's just misplaced anger. We're just so mad. And now the people in the lobby are watching us yell at our parents. Like, that's the new show that they get to watch.

It's probably way better than what we did on stage. It's probably funnier than what we did on stage. Yeah. And so we go up and we start walking in like, and now we're angry at other people. And people are like, yeah, nice job. And we're like, fuck off. Like in front of our parents, like yelling at someone like to see you do some shit what have you done in your life exactly what have you done in your life to these people like all you've done is get diabetes

meanwhile our dad had diabetes okay you're cussing at people yelling at people who have what your dad has and And our dad's got these, like, big old shoes that were made in Louisville. Diabetes shoes. Diabetes shoes. Like the Frankenstein shoes. So he doesn't get up. He's walking so slowly. They're walking so slow.

It's like if we were, like, it's like a rack focus in a thing where it, like, is pushing and, like, he's getting farther. How are we farther from the door? How is he not walking for, like, nine minutes? You're going to let everyone from the crowd walk past us? We're like ready to fucking fight people. Yeah, we're like ready to square up. And the best part is there's all these people who are gathered around the door as you go right into the parking garage. But because our dad has the handicapped spot, it's the spot right next to the door.

So all these people who did not like us are all hanging around, like reminiscing about how shitty our set was. And we're like, yeah, fuck you. You want to fucking go? You want a piece? Let's fucking go right now. We're like ready to fight people. We're getting in the back.

And then we get in the back of our car, and our parents drive us home like we're little kids. Like we're in car seats, and we drive home. That was embarrassing. That's humiliating. That was a freaking nightmare. We were like like we just shouldn't do comedy we should stop we talked about quitting that night it's like we can't do this we can't do this at all it was like i still feel the embarrassment oh man that was the best part is it's a benefit

there to help people yeah sure we raised some money for diabetes the next day like scar brothers taunting the audience asking diet people with diabetes if they want to fist yeah ask what have they done uh see at the candy store why won't funny bone have you back though so i think we told that story so so what happened was the ryan stout was much later so sorry that happened stout was later yeah we were doing a radio thing and we saw the stout was there and we told a version or some as that story was happening to us we we were trying to make sense of it and told it and they found out about it and thought we were bad mouthing the funny bone in which case because they just didn't run a good show that night and it kind of put us in a bad

space because there were a couple moments where like maybe they should have said hey just do 10 in which case, because they just didn't run a good show that night, and it kind of put us in a bad space. Because there were a couple moments where, like, maybe they should have said, hey, just do 10 minutes at the end, or this show's running long, like, why don't you cut your set down? Or the crowd's kind of crazy, so we're going to make sure when we go up, we take care of you. We will make sure we get them quiet and ready for your last comment. There was none of that.

It was mishandled on every level, and then we didn't deliver in the moment. So they took offense to that that we made public that thing and they'll probably do it again. And then I think that's why the Ryan Stout they wouldn't book us. So we came back and wanted to do it with the Ryan Stout. So your name was mud already. And I'm also like get over it. Get over it.

Yeah, for real. It's fine. Helium's there now and there are other rooms there that we can play. I've done Blueberry Hill. Blueberry Hill is great. I've done it twice. I love that room down there. The Ready Room is also great in St. Louis. The Pageant is great, and so we've done that. It's all good. We're fine.

But that story was just... And that it happened in our hometown. That we had thought we had moved away and achieved enough you know to come home and just just take a victory lap around our old club nope nope nope nope and it was just i mean but that's the beauty of comedy it constantly slaps you in the face it really does and it doesn't matter what you humble you it doesn't matter what it's like being a parent humbles you every day you think you have it under control? You think you got this? No way.

No way. Speaking of being a parent, how about my baby daddy's party? Well, that was it. That was it. Oh, that was the party. Well, that was the part. That was the CD release part. Oh, that was the release.

That was from my baby's daddy. That was Dominique Wilkins' brother. I'm going to need those shirts back. I'm going to need those. That's it. That's all we got. That's all we got. That's more than enough.

More than enough. Have you guys ever been in fights growing up? Bullied, teased, or anything where one of you jumped in with the other? And were you taught that way? Because my dad was like, if your brother's fighting, you're fighting. Yeah. We were both bullied by together i think they would separate us and bully us in high school a couple juniors when we were freshmen like find us individually but

what was it they would go after you for they just were like just they were those bullies they were the kind of bullies that just wanted to intimidate and just push you around like push and be like fucking think you're so funny and all this stuff. And just these older kids who just didn't like that we were, we were big personalities when we came into the school. And so we were just that way. And we were like this sort of unit. So then when they ever saw us separated,

be like two dudes as you're coming up the stairwell waiting for you. Right. And then push you around, knock your shit down and be like, you better watch your back. You better look over your shoulders, is what they would say. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Thanks a lot. But then that ended.

I don't even remember that as much. We had another friend who was on the basketball team who was bigger than them, and we told that guy, because we started doing the introductions for the basketball team. Who was the guy we told? Daryl Hemingway. Daryl Hemingway. Which is a white guy with a black eye.

Great name. Daryl Hemingway. Bigaryl Hemingway. Which is a white guy with a black eye. Great name. Daryl Hemingway. Big, white, lefty, slow. Like slow, but slow. Like a flat top haircut. And he talked to them because he knew them. And he was like, stop fucking with the Sklar brothers or I'll mess you up. And then it stopped.

You guys were doing the announcing for bringing the team. Yeah, we would introduce the whole. And that was another kind of quickly embarrassing thing is that we were like we fought the school we're like you got to turn the lights out so we can do a spotlight on the team and really get the energy up and they're like okay but you know these are special fluorescent lights that take 36 minutes to power exactly is it 36 36 minutes so like they shut them off and they couldn't start the game you do this big hype and then there'll be like 14 minutes of like everybody's getting tight trying to do layup drills can't see a god some guy twist his ankle in the darkness to try and

pass well i mean on the ball it was us it was the last the last little story. We'll do one more because I think we have time for one tiny one. So because the high school thing reminded me of this. So we wrote for the newspaper in the high school. They fucked this up so badly. So I was the sports editor of the newspaper, all right? And I wrote. We were in the senior year. We were in too many clubs.

We were just in too much. Like you shouldn't be in 11 things and then also be the sports editor. Yeah. All right. That like that, you should just be the sports editor of the newspaper. That's it. That should be, that should identify you. So I'm the sports editor and I'm behind on this story.

I'm writing about, we have one kid, like one kid who was a great cross country runner. So his sister was in our year. Carrie Unterreiner. Unterreiner. Unterreiner sounds like... Like if you need to drink cranberry juice because you've got an Unterreiner disease. Unterreiner is like the birth control thing that gets inserted in your vagina, gets pulled out after six years, just releases a little thing inside your vagina. You've got to get that Unterreiner out. I know I've been having urinary tract infections all right so so Carrie Unterreiner

and her brother Ryan Unterreiner so he was like a lot of Ryan the best the best cross-country runner our team and he was a freshman what was it he's Dupree. Wasn't that the guy that was a good cross-country runner? That guy, Dupree or whatever? Prefontaine. Prefontaine. Which we always after Prefontaine, so I would call it. It was post-Prefontaine. It was post-Prefontaine the runner, but pre-Prefontaine the movie.

So I was like, just straight up Fontaine. All right? So I was in that middle zone. Straight up Fontaine. So it's in that middle zone. It's my favorite sound in the world. This guy laughing. That's my favorite thing in the world.

I could live off your laughing. If I said I have an electric car, it only works on Ryan Zickler's laugh. Powered by that. I got all the way up to Santa Barbara on one joke. On an Unterreiter reference. So Ryan Unterreiter is the thing, and I am charged with writing a feature article about the guy. In the school newspaper.

That everyone read, by the way. It was at a time where people read the newspaper. And I was so late in getting it done because of all my other activities that i was like i promised the editor i was like look you don't need to fact check it because it's just i'll get it done i'll do all the fact checking ahead of time and so i made a deal that i would turn it in at night as they were like gonna run it to press that night and then i think they pressed it overnight like it was some crazy thing that the school just did they run it to press that night. And then I think they pressed it overnight. Like it was some crazy thing that the school just did. They set it to press and then that overnight and then the next morning they

just collated it. That was it. So it was printed at night. And so I turn it in super, super, super late, but I turn it in and I feel good about it. I think it's a great article.

It comes out the next day and I get called to the newspaper. The woman who was the over the advice, Mrs. Groth. Mrs. Groth. She calls me to her room, and she's like, have you read this? And I was like,

read it? I wrote it. Thank you. She opens it up, and she points to him, and she's like, what'd you just call Ryan Unterreiner in that sentence?

And I said, Ryan Underreiner runs with the grace of a gelding. Now, do you know what a gelding is? I don't. Well, apparently Jay didn't know what a gelding is. I didn't know what it was either. A gelding.

Should I find it? You want to look it up? I mean, I can tell you what a gelding is. A gelding is... It sounded like a fast horse. Okay, hold on. A gelding... A castrated animal,

especially a male horse. He ran like a horse without... Especially a male horse. He ran like a horse without a dick. Especially a male horse. He ran like a horse without a dick. You would think a horse's dick would be. In your defense, it would be a quicker horse. So she stares at me

and she's looking at me and I'm like, would that make him fat? Did you know what it was at the time? I did not know what it was. She explained it to me. She said, you said that he was a horse without genitalia. And I was like, would that make him faster?

And she said, Mrs. Groth was like, you have to call his family, his parents. Oh, Molly. I had to apologize to his parents. It was the most embarrassing. How were they? Were they all right? They were not as nice about it as I thought they would be. Like, I came to them, like, I screwed up.

They're like, don't you proofread this? Doesn't people do it? And I was like, I have all these other activities. They're like, we don't give a shit. We don't give a shit that you're on the radio. So I had to write an entire other article in the next edition uh explaining about the fuck up a corrections paragraph which i thought made it worse because i was like last month in the article that i did on so and so i called him a and he is not a horse with no genitalia like i explained it for people who probably i was gonna say most people in high school probably had no idea.

They were like, well, he's fast, but they made me, they like made me apologize. Oh man, that's fucking great. That's a good one to end.

That is a great one to end on you guys. I love you so much. Thank you for being here. Please. One more time. Promote everything you'd like. Listen to our podcast. If you like this,

you'll definitely love our podcast. Dumb people town with Daniel Van Kirk. Go check that out. Subscribe to our podcast if you like this you'll definitely love our podcast dumb people town with daniel van kirk go check that out subscribe to it if you're a sports fan you will love you from the cheap seats great guests you've done it i have a great guest we had you on right before the home run derby yes we talked about that that was awesome great guests great like this is what's going on the week of sports and it's always funny and it's always really cool and then just go to supersclars.com go to our tour dates and see if we're playing near you. We'd love to. Please come out. Come up and

tell us that you heard us here. I always love that because when people come up, people are like, I saw you on the Honeydew or I listened to you on the Honeydew and it makes us feel so good. Those dates you wanted to promote again. Yeah, one more time. This comes out in September. September 9th, we're doing a live Dumb People Town at Largo. Should have big guests and a big musical guest.

And then the 27th will be in Tinley Park Convention Center in Chicago. 28th, Ann Arbor. Blake Griffin might come on and do some guests at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase. Yeah, and then a bunch more. We're booked out all the way through. We're doing Boston for the first time ever. Ever? Last Boston.

Wow. Last Boston. We're doing that on the end. That's a great club. We might do D.C. the night before that, the night before we do that. That's October 10th, 11th, 12th. Denver at the end of October,

and then Austin in November. Yeah, good stuff. Well, you boys have come a long way from your rap days. I appreciate you sitting in here. Thank you. As always, I am RyanSickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all social media. Talk to you all in here. Thank you. As always, I am RyanSickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all social media.

Talk to you all next week.