The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Steve Byrne - Asian Enough

Episode Date: February 15, 2021

My HoneyDew this week is Steve Byrne! Steve shares lowlights about racism and not being “Asian Enough,” his sitcom getting cancelled, getting recognized while getting his ass kicked and a lot more! For a dude who roots for Pittsburgh sports, Steve is alright! SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube and watch full episodes of The HoneyDew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler SUBSCRIBE to my Patreon show, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I highlight the lowlights with y’all! What’s your story? https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I am Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all social media. Thehoneydewpodcast.com is the website for the show. The Honeydew Podcast dot com is the website for the show. Please make sure you're subscribed to the YouTube channel.

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HoneyDew, and they'll waive the registration fee and give you a free lesson when you sign up for a package, alright? If you're new to the show, what we do over here is we highlight the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. Today's storyteller here for the first time. Very excited to have him. Please

welcome Steve Byrne! Oh, I'll clap for myself. You should clap for yourself. Thank you, buddy. Thanks for having me, man. I know we've been trying to make this happen. There's a pandemic going on. We made it happen. Thank you for being here. You got it. It's long overdue, even though I'm looking at the black and gold over here. Well, I picked this out of my suitcase

today. I was like, I gotta wear this then. The hat hurts from 1979. I was six years old. That still hurts. They're going nowhere. I hurts. They're going nowhere. I know. They're going nowhere. But please, before we get going somewhere, plug everything, dude.

Everything you want. Yeah, I'm not sure when. I don't know. I'll be at the Irvine Improv February 13th. I know that. Are you doing the drive-in shows? Is that what that is? I'm doing, yeah, I'm doing, I believe, a drive-in show.

Have you done that yet? I haven't done a drive-in show yet. I've done some outdoor shows. I've been doing comedy clubs, but not an outdoor show yet. So I'm a little trepidatious on how that will go. Have you done it? No. I've done one show this entire fucking pandemic and it's killing me.

Oh, just one? One, bro. Oh, Jesus. them one show this entire fucking pandemic and it's killing me oh just one one bro oh jesus dude i did my first one was right at the height when um george floyd um and they you know cops and so don't say you're out there and all that shit no dude the first the first time i go on stage this is like peak rioting all that shit going down. And I'm in Miami. I'm on stage. I talk to a black couple and I'm talking to them and I'm just like getting their perspective on things and getting the crowd worked up.

And literally the next guy I talk to, I go – he's like a buff guy in a medium t-shirt. I go, so what do you do? He's like, I'm a cop. I'm like, oh, fuck of all things. You just feel the air leave the room. I just looked at the black people. I was like, I got this. And I'm like, oh, fuck of all things. You just feel the air leave the room. I just looked at the black people. I was like, I got this. And I walk over and I start talking to them.

And in the back of my head, I'm going, okay, well, I'm going to get these two to do a shot together. But I can't just do it right now. Watch the choice of words, bro. So I had to slowly – Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys got to get shot together. What? you guys gotta get shot together what but i slowly started massaging the scenario and they were literally at two ends and towards the end of it i got them to do a shot uh all right tequila and

it just set the tone for the rest of the show the crowd started clapping everybody's in a great mood and it was one of those things where it's like only through experience i think could i have threaded the needle on that i you know 10 years in 12 years in 15 years and maybe i wouldn't have been able to pull that off but but uh i posted it online and billy gardell saw it and he he walked me through he walked me through the uh the bit and he goes now pause it here now here's here's here's the mark of a true pro and he's telling me and And I was watching. I was like, holy shit, you could see me thinking these things. And it was really kind of cool to see another seasoned vet walk you through one of your sets and say, this is why I respect what you did. That's great.

It was really kind of cool. Hell yeah. Which I've never had before happen in my life. That's awesome. Well, what's your website, your social media, your – Everything's Steve Byrne Live. Your movie. Yeah.

Oh, the film is called The Opening Act. Came out during pandemic just a few months ago. It's 84% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, 87% fresh with audiences on Rotten Tomatoes. So it's fucking great. It's fucking great. It's a real encapsulation of what it's like to really not only hit the road as a comic, but your first time ever on the road. Yeah.

So you've been to a comic club, you've never been on the road, and that's what this film is about and what it takes to take those first steps on that journey. That's great. Good for you to do that. It's cool. Now, I ask everybody to come with stories. You brought a handful of stories, and I like jumping around like this too. I love the life stories, and i like jumping around like this too i like i love the life stories but i like jumping around so the first one

you said you wanted to start with was about how to involve the barstool yeah yeah so i was uh and this goes into experience right and i was i was new to the new york comedy scene maybe two years in. And I was so – is that where you started? Did you start in New York? Yeah, I started in New York. So The Cellar was the first club I passed at, which is crazy, like looking back on it. The second time I was ever on stage, I got a manager. So it was like out of the gates.

I was like working at a – especially like an elite level with like Geraldo and Colin Quinn and Jim Norton and Patrice and Burr at the time. So it was like I was really exposed to a lot of greats early on. And so I was so hungry and like to me, stand-up was always like a girl when you first start dating her. Like I couldn't stop thinking about it. And so I go to the comic strip to work on a new bit, which was probably dog shit, and it was my birthday. And I didn't want to go out and celebrate or drink. I just want to go up and go up on stage.

So I go to the comic strip. It's toward the end of the night. There's maybe like – there's maybe 10 people in the audience. And I go up and maybe two minutes in, this one table stands up, and they start debating the bill. And they literally look like the cast of Jersey Shore. It was like, you know, it was that kind of audience. So I go, guys, could you just maybe take this outside? And then they start calling me like, oh, okay, Jackie Chan.

Whoa. Come on, man. And then they start saying these racial things to me. And I was like, well, thank God the Lincoln Tunnel is open 24 hours. You guys can get back to Hoboken or whatever the fuck, you know, like Parsippany or whatever I said. There's only 10 people in there. They're like half of them. The other people over here are loving it.

I didn't have – I was at that table like, get him, Jackie Chan. Get him, Jackie Chan. I didn't have the experience to handle the situation. Was it mostly guys or was it guys and girls? It was dudes and then a girl. And a big buff dude. She's pivotal to this story.

Snooki, Snooki's pivotal. She's very pivotal. Snooki's very pivotal. So they're saying all this kung fu shit shit and stuff and i'm i'm just like fuck and that that that fuse was lit right so then this girl chimes and she's like why don't you shut the fuck up and do your jokes and i was like will somebody tell this cunt to shut the fuck up and i dropped that c-bomb like like dr strangeangelove. The bait door is open and it goes down. I'm riding the bomb.

I'm like, woo-hoo! And I drop it and next thing I know, this duel picks up – one of the guys picks up a power stool that was along the back wall where they're sitting. And this is like – this isn't like some Ikea shit. This is furniture that's been at this comic strip since the late, early 70s is like hard steel forged. He takes it and chucks it, and it's just like whoosh, whoosh. And I don't have the time to really react. So I just turn around, and the thing cracks the back of my head open. So all of a sudden, it felt like someone was pouring hot water on my neck, just blood gushing.

And I remember Big Jay Oakerson runs in. He goes, whoa, whoa. And he starts pushing the guys back and holding them, and they call the cops and stuff. And I was like such a young dipshit. I'm like, all right, well, give me the mic. I'm going to finish my set. And Jay's like, you're going to the hospital, dude. Did you go – I mean, were you down?

You got up from that? No, it just like hit me. You got to be grabbing your head and seeing blood on your head. I saw a lot of blood, but I didn't realize how bad it was until Jay was like – Heads bleed, though. They do, yeah. He's like, you got to go to the hospital now. So I went to the hospital, and I'm getting eight staples in the back of my head.

Damn, dude. So ch-ching, ch-ching, not stitches, like the ting, ting, ting. And when they do it, it's like – They're all jamming on me. It really, like the tink, tink, tink. And when they do it, it's like, it really is like that. You know, did you ever have staples? Did you have? Okay. I've had a couple right here. Okay, yeah, so it's like

your dad's putting some shit up in the garage. Oh, that's real? Like you're literally stapling my fucking head. I thought it was like a medical term. Like, flank, flank, flank. What are you doing back there? Oh there oh my god dude that was that early in comedy like that huh i mean knock on wood all these years i've been in i've seen videos online i've never i was at a show one time was in irvine it was like me larson full tron somebody else oh that's a good crew to have your back too that's a good crew to have your back in case shit goes down.

I know. It's me against Thor. Yeah, exactly. But a lady rushed the stage on Jay. She charged. And it was just weird. It was like being at a zoo and all of a sudden the door flew open. You know what I mean?

You're like, huh? I know it's a lady, but Jesus Christ, what is she doing? She's running up the stairs and shit. Jay's like, get this thing. I watched – I saw Bill Burr at Dangerfields. There was a – he's been known to push some buttons. Yeah, a little bit. There was a woman in her 70s.

She was not fucking having it, okay? And so she goes – she says something to him. He's like, lady, they're just jokes. They're just jokes. She goes, no, no, they're not jokes. And so she comes up she says something to him. He's like, lady, they're just jokes. They're just jokes. She goes, no, no, they're not jokes. And so she comes up, but she's walking. It's like in slow motion because she's so old. And Bert just – Bert didn't know what to do.

So he took the mic stand and he held it and he goes, lady, you can't do this. You can't do this, lady. And I was like, that's so fucking funny. It's Bert in the hard drive. That's when I would take a chair like a lion. You can't do this, lady. It's fucking funny. It's burning the hard drive.

I'm going to take a chair like a lion. You can't do this, lady. I watched, well, you'll remember back in the day, three clubs. Remember that little spot, three clubs? Oh, yeah. It was a great little room, and Segura's in there one night, and I'm in there. They used to do Montreal callbacks and shit. And I don't know what happened. I'm sure I'm going to tell it a little bit wrong, but there was a lady who was belligerent the whole time right and tom finally called her a cunt right well i think it was her

sons or something were with her and they were like oh yeah we're gonna be stepping outside so tom i'd never really seen him nervous because he's a big dude yeah he's like hey you might come outside with me call that lady i called that lady a cunt and we we had to go outside. He had to talk them down. Yeah. He had to talk them down. I remember one night I was at the comedy store, and this is back in the dark days, which you're very aware of, when nobody was coming. And I remember I was getting called up on stage in the OR, and right as I was being called up, this group of Asian kids was leaving the room. I was being called up, this group of Asian kids was leaving the room.

And in the – like right in the middle kind of back of this seating area, there's a guy eating chicken wings in the store. He brought his own wings. He's sitting there with his boys. He's eating wings. He brought them. He brought his own food. And so he looks at me. He goes – he sees the Asians and he sees me go up on stage. He goes, hey, your friends are leaving and he does this. As soon as – with the wing sauce, I go, fuck, and the fuse was lit.

I was like, my friends left. He goes, yeah, your friends left. I go, well, maybe I'll go outside and catch up with them. He goes, maybe you should. I go, maybe you should come outside and see them with me. He goes, maybe I will. And he takes another bite of his wing and he goes, again. I go, well, maybe we'll fucking go outside right now. He goes, maybe I will. And he takes another bite of his wing, and he goes, again. I go, well, maybe we'll fucking go outside right now.

He goes, let's do that. So you know how the room's set up, right? It's like that. So I get off the stage, and I walk towards. Oh, you're having this conversation with him from the stage? I just got on stage. I thought you were just about to walk up. No, I think Jeff Scott's still playing.

He's still. Oh, that was great. Poor Jeff. about to walk up you're right there i think jeff scott's still playing he's still so i i walk towards the corner uh going towards the where the room ends and i'm going that corner and he walks over and he starts to meet me and i just grab him and i throw i i everything i have in the you know because i played hockey and i just like you're used to just that tussle first and i i just get him on the ground and i start wailing wailing on him like Ralphie in A Christmas Story, beating the bully. And this guy, one of his friends, takes one of those – the tables, and you know how heavy those things are. Fuck yeah. Comedy Club furniture is not light.

Black circle table. Yep. He takes it, and he's gone back. Brett Ernst runs in and tackles the guy. Mr. Cobra Kai. That's right. Of course. I would be eating out of a straw right now if it wasn't for Brett Ernst runs in and tackles the guy. Mr. Cobra Kai. That's right. Of course. I would be eating out of a straw right now

if it wasn't for Brett Ernst. Man, he would have crushed your skull at that table. Those heavy bottom, those lead bottom. Fuck, dude. Yeah. Damn, man. You've gotten to... I mean, I was asking if you'd been in fights, but you've been in enough in comedy. Yeah.

But again, I think that comes with the maturity of understanding you can never let any anybody in that room ever rankle you because you've got to be in complete control even if like there's a some semblance of like insecurity that'll bubble up the audience reads it and they will you will lose credibility in the room immediately as you know and so you know even when when that cunt thing happened and this thing happened it's just like you've got to be better than the situation any situation so now you know years on there's nothing that'll rankle me and it's almost like i'm dean martin on stage where i'm a little more cooler than the situation just like oh you

really think that okay and then slowly you slide into the arsenal of weapons i got a pocket knife i got a chinese star i got a gun if i need it i got all these things we figured you had a chinese yeah i got exactly nowadays i could just cough on somebody but um but even are you okay i'm all right by the way he laughed so hard at his own joke, he choked himself. I choked on that. So if you choked to death, it would have been because of your own fucking joke. I laughed at the racism within the joke of those people being absurd. But even the cops, when they called me, they said, do you want to press charges?

I said, no. Because even at a young age, I had the wherewithal to say, this is my lesson to learn. I could press charges. I could have sued them. But it was age, I had the wherewithal to say, this is my lesson to learn. I could press charges. I could have sued them. I could have – but it was like I fucked up. That was on me. I shouldn't have taken it to that level and I should have never let somebody – if I'm a professional comedian and if the aim is to be a headliner, a headliner is going to be better than any situation, period. And I wasn't at that time and having foresight, young enough to have foresight, I like you you can't do that you're right i mean i believe in exactly what you're saying but

i there are times i daydream that someone comes up on stage and i take that mic cord and i wrap it around their motherfucking neck and i just start the narrow stop you know i do have that fantasy yeah like when that guitar rack remember he smashed it on the person and then the audience turned on me he's like what they it's like no he then the audience turned on him. He's like, what? It was like, no, he's got it right. It's every comic's fantasy. It's great. Damn, dude.

I didn't know you had that kind of fucking heat coming in comedy. Yeah. What did you want to go into next? You said you had a Phoenix fight story. Oh, Phoenix. Is that a comedy one? This is – comedy plays into it, okay? All right.

So I was in Phoenix doing a young – Mike Young had this young comedian tour, okay? It was like Sebastian and me and Kreischer and whatever. And so we go out on the road and, I mean, we're just young and dumb. You go out and it's just like a stumbling plethora of dudes and booze. And I had met a girl with one of the other comics. We go back to the hotel. We jump in the pool. We're all hanging out.

Eventually, we partition off. I'm in a room with the girl and hang out. And then it's time for her to go. So I walk her down to the other comics room. And the girls are talking. And me and the other comic are talking and eventually the girls just kind of leave and walk out. And I was like, oh, I'm going to walk into the car. He goes, oh, okay. I'm going to stay here.

I was like, okay. So as I walk out now into the lobby, it's probably been two minutes since they left. I'm walking into the lobby and they parked in the parking garage below and i see this black guy and this is relevant to the story okay so i would normally say just a guy but he's a black guy he's holding the doors open to the elevator and there's four guys behind him so it's like it's like new additions there okay okay? And I crawl under. I crawl under. Getting up. I go under his arm.

I go under his arm, and he's hitting on the girl. You're ducked under his arm? I duck under his arm, and I'm like, gents, I totally get it, but I'm just walking to the girls at the car. I'm Patrick Swayze in Ghost. I do not exist. He doesn't even pay attention to me. He's like, come on, girl. Let's let's just hang she's like i'm not hanging out with you he's like come on come on give me your number let's give me your number she's like i'm not giving you my number he's like you want that you want to hang with this bling you want to hang this bling he's holding the

necklace she's like i don't want to hang with you playing and i'm even his buddies like tapping on the shoulder like come on whatever let's go this goes on for what seems to be at least like five minutes it's non-stop the elevator is boop, boop, boop. And he's holding it. The boys, I'm just sitting there. I'm like, fuck. And then she says, he's like, come on, come on, girl. Let's just hang.

Give me your number. Give me your number. She goes, I'm not giving you my number. You, and then she drops the N-bomb. No. Yeah. Awesome. And she says the N-word.

And now all of a sudden it's just like oh god he walks in the elevator and there's four black guys in there five together he walks in the elevator Johnny Gill just rolled up like god damn it

they're all here even the new new additions here and I'm going boys to to men, ABC, BBD. It's got family. So the door's shut. He walks in, and he starts walking towards the girl. And I get in front of him, and he grabs me, and I grab him. Again, I played hockey.

I know you grabbed the jersey. So I grab his shirt, and I pull it it over his head and I'm going for broke. I'm like, we're in an elevator and I'm just wailing on him as hard as I can to just end this situation. So he drops to his knees and I'm hitting and I'm just going, I'm just drilling. I'm drilling as hard as I can. And he goes, chill, dog, chill. I go, what?

He goes, chill, dog, chill. I go, you done? He goes, chill, dog, chill. I go go are you fucking done he goes i'm done i'm done now in this moment i realize the elevator is stopped we're not moving at all because when we grabbed each other we knocked it off its mooring so we are stuck between the lobby and the parking garage. The girls are crying. I remember Sarah Smiles by Hall & Oates is playing in the elevator.

I want to smile a while for me. So every time I'm in a CVS or Walgreens and I'm waiting to pan and hear that song, I'm in an elevator in Phoenix, okay? So now this guy. So it's you, two girls, and four or five of the sisters? No, just the one guy. Okay, he got in. He got in. They're still out there, okay? So now this guy. So it's you, two girls, and four or five of the sisters? No, just the one guy. Okay, he got in. He got in. They're still out there.

Okay. All right, all right, all right. So now he gets up and he pulls his shirt over his head. The song's playing. The girl's crying. Nobody's talking, okay? And he's pulling his shirt over and he's just staring at me. He's staring at me.

And I go, he's going to fucking, he's going to come at me. He's staring at me and I go, he's going to fucking, he's going to come at me. He's going to hit me. So get ready, get ready. And he's staring at me and I start staring back at him and he's looking at me

and he kind of squints his eyes and he goes, hey man, were you, were you on BT's comic view? I go, yeah. He goes,

you do the Bruce Lee bit? I go, yeah. He goes, I fucking love that joke. And I was like, fuck yes. You just kind of did that shit on me here in the elevator, man. And so he goes,

he goes, what are you doing here? I go, I was just at the improv where I met this fucking racist. This racist. So I didn't know that. And so now he and I are talking, the girl's crying, and then all of a sudden I hear and the elevator goes back to the lobby. So I guess the general manager came over and did some key whatever.

The elevator doors open. His boys are waiting there. They heard everything. His boys come in, pop, pop, pop. I just get, shirt ripped. They ripped my shirt, punched me here, punch me. I got a black, it starts to swell up. They cut my lip. He goes, no, no,

no, no. Guys, guys, guys, you know who he is? And he goes, remember on Comic View, he does the Bruce Lee bit. They go, oh, shit. He goes, yeah. I'm like, oh my god, I'm safe. And I'm like, I'll get you guys tickets if you want to come to show us. I'm like, doing this shit. I'm like, okay my god, I'm safe. I'm like, I'll get you guys tickets if you want to come to the show.

I'm like, doing this shit. I'm like, okay, fuck it. And then the manager in the lobby goes, the manager goes, I called the cops. They're on their way. They fucking bolt. The girl's in the elevator. It goes back down. I'm standing there by myself in the lobby, shirt ripped, bleeding, eyes starting to puff up.

And I'm not saying who the comic is, but you'll be able to figure this out. Literally dressed in all Adidas, walks out of the business center with a cappuccino, holding it with two fingers, and he just looks at me and goes, what the fuck happened to you, guy? And that's the end of that story. That's my greatest fight that I've ever been in. And look, I mean, how do you top that? Beating the guy and then he recognizes you in the middle of it.

I've been on the ass end of fights, but that was my last fight. That was my last fist fight. Yeah, you can't be still fighting in your 30s and 40s. ass end of fights but that was my last that was my last fight that was my last fistfight yeah it was uh yeah you can't be still especially in 30s and 40s yeah i mean if you're still actively fistfighting in your 40s you're really you really got problems you got issues you know what i mean like no let's go fuck them up like let's use a psychiatrist number yeah i realize i was out of shape for fights when i had kids that had to start chasing them when they were toddlers. You just wrestle with them.

You're like, asked. And you know how fights go. It only lasts. It's not long. It's never long. It's no they live scene with Roddy Piper and Keith David. It's fucking a few minutes. Everybody's out of breath.

Everyone's tired. Shit like you done. I'm good. few minutes, everybody's out of breath. Everyone's tired, shit. Like, you done? I'm done. I'm done. I'm good. You done? I'm done.

I could take more of this beating, but my cardio can't. You know what I mean? I apologize for not being up to speed for you to beat my ass. There is that mutual respect now, I think, as you get older, if you're in bars and stuff and somebody gets lippy or whatever. I think now at our age, you see a little sprinkle of gray in there. You're like, guys, let's just get a beer. Let's just get a beer. Let's have a drink.

I've had a few of those where the situation has been diffused via another friend or whatever. It's like, let me just buy us around, guys. Let's just do that. And I think everybody knows it's like, yeah, let's just do that and i think everybody knows it's like yeah let's just do that well you come from pittsburgh i'm baltimore towns like philly like they're they're blue collar yeah working towns and you're gonna get in fights they're angry fucking cities yeah chips on their shoulders oh yeah and people bad diets and yeah everything bad diet bad childhood chips on your shoulder. What would you like to share next?

Well, I guess we could talk about – I mean comedy has provided me with so many lessons in terms of how I handle myself in my everyday life and how you take lessons from the stage. There was a period of time where I was a New York City comic and I'd go in and out and I was making money on the road, but I let go on the road because you could spread your wings. You could do a half hour. And also being a young guy in my 20s, it was also like you're a big fish in a small pond. So you're going to like Deja Vu in Columbia, Missouri. And those clubs where you're just like, oh my god, there's all these girls here.

And they just saw you on stage. And what a layup. And let's see what happens with the night. And living it up. And I was in Houston, Texas. I believe the club at the time was called Spellbinders. And this is before it became the Houston Improv, before the Houston Improv moved to the new area. And again, I was working on the road and I went out on the road with another comic from New York City who was headlining and I was featuring.

And it was a gorgeous space and it was brand new and it was like the first week the club was open. So the staff is drinking with the managers and the comics. They're tailgating after shows and stuff. And like Thursday, I'm meeting everybody. And then Friday, I'm talking to this bartender who was really pretty and really cool. And we ended up hanging out that night and getting something the next day to eat. And then Saturday comes along and she, we were drinking. It was just like Friday. It was great. And then the other comic was hanging out with a waitress and I'm with the bartender. We ended up going back to the comedy condo. And at the condo, we had had quite a few drinks to take us in the evening and we were fine then you know

and we come to find out that it was this girl's birthday and none of her friends had called her and she was really kind of upset by that and and then she just wanted to leave she wanted to leave and we're like you're not leaving you're you're hammered you can't go anywhere and she's crying and nobody cares and all this stuff so the other comic and i said look let us go get um let us go get some food so we go to the grocery store which is like a block away and we walk over there we walk back and i bought her birthday cake and some candles and and said hey let's celebrate your birthday and that seemed to change the mood and got some food in her. We're thinking, okay, maybe she'll be okay. She's still kind of like a little out of it and stuff.

And so I remember she wanted to leave. I hid her car keys. She found them. I hid her shoes. She found them. I hid her purse. She found it. I was like doing everything I could.

Sounds like you might suck at hiding shit. it. I was like doing everything I could. Sounds like you might suck at hiding shit. Sounds more like you're like, I set them over here. I set it over here. Well, that's probably true. I was not good at hiding it. Yeah. So eventually, I got

to a point where I was like, there's only so much a human can do, right? before you tell somebody you shouldn't do this. And I was just like, I got to go to bed because I was gassed. I was tired. I've been there. When you're trying to reason with a drunk person, it's impossible. It's impossible. So I remember going to bed that night, and I heard the other comic and the waitress talking to her.

And it sounded like everything was kind of okay and i was like all right well i guess i can go to bed so i i just passed out right and i woke up the next day and the other comic woke me up and said we got to go to the comic club uh the the manager wants to talk to us i said oh okay so we go over which just so everybody knows is not fucking normal yeah you're not waking up if you're not doing morning radio you're definitely not going to the club yeah they want nothing to do with you until it's showtime right um so i go over with uh the other comic and come to find out this girl had driven home that night and got into a car accident and died. Died?

Died. And what the other comic had told me was – Was the other girl in the car with her? No. No, she was by herself. And basically what happened was – On her birthday, she died. On her birthday.

Fuck. And basically what happened was – On her birthday, she died. On her birthday. Fuck. And the other comic had told me that basically what they had worked out is that she had convinced them she wasn't going to drive home. She just wanted to get out of the condo. She wanted to be by herself. And so the deal was struck that they were going to drive her to her car and she's going to pass out and sleep in the car and then wake up and then drive herself home.

She's going to pass out and sleep in the car and then wake up and then drive herself home. So they told me that they – because the manager wanted to hear everything that had occurred the night before on behalf of the club and if we did anything wrong or anything like that. So basically what had happened was the other comic and the waitress drove her to her car. They saw her lay down and it looked like she was going to fall asleep. waitress drove her to her car. They saw her lay down, and it looked like she was going to fall asleep. So they got back in the car. And as they got on the road to go back to the condo, she gunned it past them. And they thought, oh, no, that's not a good sign. So we got the horrible news the next day and then did she hit anyone else

or no i don't know the exact details i just know that she had passed right she died so then i had to perform that night and i was scheduled to be there for two weeks so i couldn't leave vegas this is in houston texas so i was there to feature for two weeks to make enough money to make it worthwhile. And again, I was young and I wish I had the wherewithal to just say I should probably leave. But I stayed there. And then it was almost like I had a scarlet letter branded on me because I had been one of the last people to see this person.

And there was an enormous sense of guilt guilt thinking and rehashing everything that occurred that evening of you know what what else could i have done you know i i should have just stayed up i should have like forced her to to you could have been better at hiding could have been a better hiding like it could have been a lot better hiding yeah you know you start thinking of all those things you could have done and then what happened was in reality is there's nothing i mean short of holding that person down yeah there's nothing you can and me and the other comic disgusted what they want to do but this is the this is where it all kind of came to a head was where i had to talk to her mother her mother wanted to know everything that happened so her mom called me and i told her everything everything i just went into detail throughout the whole whole course the evening

and not that i needed solace i i would hope that the mother would be provided solace but the mother said you know once she got her mind fixated on something, you could never stop her. She was very stubborn. And that to me gave me a moment of like – Comfort, I hope. Some comfort and solace where I was like – That's nice of that lady who just lost her child to be able to throw that your way. Yeah. And then before the show, that night her best friend came and I had to sit down.

I didn't have to, but I sat down. You're having to do this shit during the day. This is your day before the show. This is my day, yeah. Oh, my God. That is so bad. My day could have been a lot worse. It could have been – I could have –

You could not have had that day. You could have been dead too. There's a thousand variables that could have happened. And I talked to a friend and went into detail about everything about that occurred once again. And she was at the same mindset, telling me some of the similar things from the mom. And obviously, it was really difficult to have those conversations, especially to a mother. But I will tell you that early on in my career i learned the dangers of being out after midnight and that it comes with severe consequences and i touch upon that briefly in the opening act

in the film uh with levity via another experience that really happened to me but this one was too um too painful and too dark you know there was was an immense burden of guilt I carried with myself for years. And to this day, I still think about it every now and then. How could you not? You tried to stop a person from killing themselves and they did it anyway. I mean that's – Yeah. Yeah, that will fuck with anyone.

And so I pulled myself off the road after that. You did. I said I will never go on the road. And I went to New York City and just – I was a full-time comic in New York and that was it. And it wasn't until years later that I moved to LA and started kind of like – I hit the road again as a headliner. And it had been – I don't know how many years it had been since i'd been on the road uh as a comic but that was that was it that was the the moment in my life where i was like all right there there are consequences to your evenings you know so just bear that our day job doesn't start until a lot of times eight sometimes you got a 10 o'clock show yeah at the midnight you

got the 11 you know you remember the old ontario days 7 9 and 11 on a saturday you're not getting out of there till after one yeah everybody wants to go do something you got to drive back if you're featuring or opening you know that's a hell of a drive yeah exactly i remember i was dating a girl at the time in comedy and um she got a dui and i. And I watched how it affected her life. It's not like you pay $10,000 and then you don't have a fucking DUI on your record. You pay $10,000, the shit's there. And public transportation to the AA meetings to the getting shit signed.

I just watched how it ate away at her time. And I thought, well, shit, I'm here back in the day at World Cafe or wherever we are. I'm having three or four beers. I know I'm fine to drive. I know I'm fine to drive. Right. But if a kid runs out, anything happens, they're going to say, well, you have alcohol. That test is not designed for us to pass.

Right. And I'm going to be fucked. And that was like the real shift where I really – I mean I still smoke weed. But if it's not a water or a Diet Coke, I might even have half a beer at a club. But that's it for me. And also sitting down talking to guys and girls that we know who are like, I can't just have one. If I put one to my lips, I'm going 20. I wish I could drink a half a beer.

So I started to see how it really is a disease, an addiction. And I was like, man, I'm fortunate. So I try not to. And these days, and I know that was early on, but these days with Uber and all that shit, there's no reason you should get a DUI. Yeah, it's almost like you don't have an excuse anymore to put yourself in those situations.

But look, I mean, it comes with being young and dumb, right? I mean, I was certainly young. I was certainly made some careless decisions. I know for a fact there are nights I've gone out and, you know, driven home when I shouldn't have. No doubt. And I thank God that I look back on those days. I'm like, geez, thank God I didn't have a cell phone, you know, looking down and all

that other crazy shit, you know. So yeah, I mean, you know, it just seems like everybody's got a lesson to learn. And, you know, for me, my lesson came with less of an expense than hers did. And it was certainly – certainly it stuck with me and I went into a depression, I'd say, for a good year over it. I was pretty tore up about it. And you take it out in different ways. But it definitely hurt, but it definitely also helped me, again, recalibrate my perceptions on going out and indulging in the nightlife and not letting my ego get too big after any

show, no matter how big or how great it was or whatever. So that was pretty brutal. Yeah, that's a tough lesson to learn. Yeah, and I recently moved into a new home, and my parents from Florida had sent me a box full of old pictures and programs when I was performing, and I was just going through all these pictures. I haven't seen since like, you know, 15, 20 years or whatever. And one of the pictures was, was me

talking to her when she was behind the bar and she, you know, just really, really beautiful girl. And I'm looking at her and I'm making a laugh in that moment. And I was just kind of like, wow, it's, uh, it just kind of re-triggered yeah everything and again just um you know it is now being a parent too and seeing it from that perspective as well like yeah i know bro it would kill me too but i would want to talk to you you know i want to ask what she was like you know all that stuff but man sure. Sure. And again, I'd known her for 72 hours, if that. And what an impact that experience, that whole situation that it had on my life and how it carried on with me. I had an eerily, I'd say somewhat similar experience.

A friend of mine, when we were living out here early on, had come out to visit, and he brought a friend, this girl with him, who was then going down to Mexico from here. They came together, and then they were going to split up here. She was going to Mexico to surf with some friends. Okay. This beautiful, young young probably 22 23 just i can't tell you like you ever meet those people where they're just so pleasant and sure you know they say the smile lit up the room i'm talking about like just like this girl's like a sunbeam for real so and i was like man you're a really nice girl you could tell well raised right Hotel, well-raised. Right. And the next day, she's driving to Mexico.

So she is in a car with a guy up front, and then there's four other people in the car behind them. They couldn't fit them all in one car. And they're driving, and they're in Mexico now, and all of a sudden, this car comes at them on the other way and veers at them forces them off the road well they go down a cliff they roll crash and it's it's bad yeah and they're laying there dying and these locals come out and don't help them and they rob them oh they take their watches their wall and their four friends are watching this and they realize after the police come they both die they die no jesus they realize after the police come they both die they die no jesus they realize after the police come the police are telling them look sometimes this is a setup

they'll have that car could have swerved at them in order to make them crash and then they come over and they rob you and and they flipped and rolled and and we get the news and i'm like that girl that was just here 12 hours ago, that really nice, sweet little girl is gone. And then her family has to go figure out how to get her body out of another country. And it's like all this shit. And you're like, fuck. And I have never, like you said, I knew that. I didn't even know that girl.

She just stayed overnight with us one night. I met her 12 hours, 20 hours. I have never forgotten that girl. And I just thought, man, what a – that's every parent's worst nightmare. You're moving to California. Oh, my God. Please be careful. And she's not even there a few days and she's gone in a brutal, ugly way.

So, yeah, that one haunts me too. I think about that often. Like, God, that poor fucking girl. Yeah. And then to be robbed and when they – maybe they could have saved you. You know what I mean? They're taking your watches and phones and shit. Like, come on.

God damn. Yeah, it's – I think as you go on with your life, it's kind of like thinking to your childhood. You think of all the times like you jumped off that cliff or you did this, and you're just like, my God, it's a miracle I'm still alive. It's amazing any of us make it past 17, 18, all the dumb shit we did. Yeah, my God. No helmets, no protective gear, concussion after concussion, all of it. Yeah, you're right.

But I learned that I'm not good at hide-and-seek. You're terrible at hiding shit. I'm bad at hiding shit, yeah. Jesus Christ. Tell me about this reception story. I want to hear about this. Oh, the reception. Well, this is – I think we all have a perception of how we view ourselves, especially in the entertainment industry, how we may be viewed, right?

And so I had a sitcom called Sullivan's Son. Can I ask you, does that live anywhere on Hulu? Is there anywhere right now where you can still go binge it? You can buy it on Amazon, but only the first two seasons. The third season, for some reason, shelved. It never aired? It aired, yeah. It aired, but it just –

You just can't buy that one. Yeah, it's just another show that's in the Warner vault. Great experience. One of the greatest professional experiences I've ever had in my life. I had your own sitcom, dude. It's the dream. It was the dream, yeah. I think especially comics of our generation, that was the dream.

Great cast, Roy Wood, and yeah, no doubt. And what's the dad's name? Dan Loria. Dan, yeah. God, so good. Brian Dolmari was great. And so the show comes out, and it was – I know for a fact we're the second Asian-American sitcom to have ever been on the air. That's it?

What's the first one? The first was Margaret Cho's All-American Girl. And then before that, there was a pilot shot for Pat Morita. There was a pilot shot for a comic named Johnny Yoon who was a Korean comic that was – that had a film called – they called me Bruce back in the day. Oh, I remember they called me Bruce. Yeah. Yeah, okay. So he had that film.

So it's just a handful of asterisks littered throughout the history of entertainment. I'm thinking, oh, this is kind of cool. Second Asian-American sitcom. And it comes out and we get the viewership. We're doing really well but never any attention or just – it just kind of was on for people that liked it, which is the way it should be, right? But in this day and age of diversity, nobody ever gave a shit about acknowledging like this feat that had occurred. And I was thinking, oh, this is kind of important for the community and especially the Asian community and all this stuff. I have to say because it's always – it seems like whenever there's someone of a certain community, whether you or Joe Coy with the Philippines or Conor McGregor with Ireland, like I feel like outside the US, people back their people hard.

They go hard for their shit. Right. Yeah. I think Joe certainly – we're both mixed, right? And Joe, I believe, leans more into his Filipino roots. I'm more of a centrist where a lot of my comedy too explores the identity issues that i might have and and being tribeless essentially uh but i think sometimes you can stake a claim to a tribe and be very successful as joe has so you know the show comes out we're doing well three seasons

all the stuff i'm going in the third season and there was an asian american blogger and a prominent uh asian actor uh there and we're we're they were on set and then we go out to we go to the commissary to have lunch and i go i was just like this is crazy like they somebody called me to talk to me about fresh off the boat how it's the second Asian-American show to come on the air since All-American Girl. And I'm like, you're asking me to compliment the show and saying they're the second. But you are.

I'm the second. They're the third then. So I was kind of like a little dismayed at all the attention it was getting. But I also know it's ABC and they're putting all this money into it. They're making a thing out of it as opposed to me and Jody Long and Vivian Bang, right?

So I was a little miffed by it and I brought it up to them and I said, it's just kind of odd that we're not getting the support from the community. And this blogger had said, well, it's because you're not Asian. I was like, what? He's like, well, Asians don't look at you as Asian. So you're not asian i was like what he's like well asians don't look at you as asian so you're not asian so you could think that but and i was like like i've been called the worst things you could ever imagine throughout the course of your life right black guys thought you were fucking asian exactly yeah everybody else is jackie chan and everybody else thought you were asian and that's exactly the issue I had with it, right, where I've been called the worst things by a thousand different people of all different race and creeds.

And then finally I'm sitting down inside Warner Brothers Studio as I'm about to walk to my sitcom that I've done for two seasons and this is the first episode of the third. And I'm so proud of everything. And it was like somebody had held a mirror up to me and said, you never saw that mole on you? I was like, no, I never. And all of a sudden, it just changed the way I felt about myself, about my identity. In what way? It hurt.

It really, really hurt to hear someone prominent in the tribe say that about me. And almost like everything I'd ever thought about myself was kind of like a misconception. And it's almost like, you know, like finding out your parents adopted you and it's like not your real parents. Like what? So my identity was kind of like, whoa, holy shit. That's really fucking crazy. But then – Well, can I ask you why do you think Asians or did he think Asians didn't see you as Asian?

I think for the same reason Mariah Carey will get guff from – like Whitney Houston. I saw this documentary around Whitney Houston. I saw this documentary around Whitney Houston. And when she was as successful as she was or whatever, she was getting like booed at the – I forget what the awards were for the black community at the time. But the black community was not receptive of her. They were not receiving her. And so she went on to make more soulful albums to kind of, you know, I guess appease that sect of the audience. kind of, you know, I guess appease that sect of the audience. But, you know, I guess there's always that notion of like you're not black enough, you're not Asian enough, you're not Mexican enough, you're not American enough, you're not Republican enough, you're not Democrat enough.

And then I just, you know, at that time, it really did hurt and it was very confusing. But as time went on, I was like, well, nobody's going to fucking define me. I'll be in charge of defining myself. So fuck that. And so that was kind of like, I guess a pivotal moment in my life where I heard something so profound and I took it in a negative fashion,

but I had to twist it and find the daylight in that situation and say, okay, well, again, are you going to let one person affect you because that's their opinion? It might be the opinion of many other people, but the opinion, the only opinion that matters is what I think of myself and how I view myself and how I present myself and how I can, what is the information that I'm communicating on stage that I'm parling to the audience that I want them to receive? And so part of that is now developed into this new hour where being Korean and being Irish, it's like I don't – I truly don't have a tribe. When all this BLM shit was going down, I think that there were BLM activists reaching out saying, where's all the Asians?

Why aren't you supporting? And I had seen – Oh, is that right? I didn't know that. I had seen – They were here. They were right outside here. They were out here.

Breaking into the stores. And this one black comic had said, where's all the Asians supporting BLM? And then I went through and screen capped because I was on another feed seeing my Korean friends, like their storefronts destroyed. So I screen capped as many as you can fit in one, you know, mosaic. And I tweeted back, they're a little too busy cleaning up after this mess.

And, you know, I think like even when the BLM stuff was, everything got tribal real quick. You're either white, you're black, or you're a Republican or a Democrat. Whose side are you on?

And in that moment, I went back to that conversation I had with that blogger, and I was like, my tribe is what I define it as, and my tribe is just being an American. That's truly what – and I think if more people stopped partitioning themselves and looked at ourselves equally as Americans under the banner of the flag, I think we'd all get along a lot better. But that's not what's happening. There's niche entertainment. Nothing is communal anymore. That's why award shows are not successful because there's no communal – like we all grew up with the Goonies. We all grew up with whatever the – back to the future. Nowadays, this new generation is, back to the future. Nowadays,

this new generation is not going to have that. This geek culture is going to be so partitioned and divided. I think the only communal thing really that happens these days is sports and news, and that's fucking it. So we're as separated as we ever will be, and I think it's going to continue to happen

unless perhaps people like myself push the pendulum back the other way and say, we're looking at this the wrong way. We got to look at this as like, we're all unified. We're all here together. It's a really, you make a really great point because- But it's a voice of the minority right now.

I get shit on constantly for saying these things. If I post an American flag, I lose followers. People shit on me. But are they mostly Asian followers you're losing when you do something like that? I'm really curious, though. Do you know? I think it's across the spectrum. I post – I am –

It is funny to me. You're right, though. Like this last four years, it's like if you wear an American flag shirt, you're a Trump supporter. They don't own the flag. They don't own the Bible. They don't own guns. I mean, they own guns, like they don't own the flag yeah they don't own the bible they don't own guns i mean they own guns but they don't own the second amendment right you know like that's not theirs like that's everybody's but you're right it's it's like well most whatever

everything there you're right there's these different sects and it's yeah we are so divided here's what i want to know. It's a great point. So I can be discriminated my whole life for being Asian, but when it comes to finally being recognized as Asian, you're all going to tell me you don't see me that way. That's a huge fuck you. What sort of racism do you remember? What's the first time you remember being treated differently,

especially racists? I was probably six, but when you're a kid, you don't know any better. Have you – do you – what's the first time you remember being treated differently or especially racist? I was probably six. But when you're a kid, you don't know any better. But I was six. Now, were you born in – you're always Pittsburgh, right? I was born in Freehold, New Jersey. OK. Home of Springsteen.

And I grew up in – until I think I was 12. In Jersey. In Jersey. And then I moved to Pittsburgh. And that's where like my formative years really happened. So I say Pittsburgh. But is there a large – was there a large Asian community in either of the towns where you grew up? No, not at all.

I don't think Pittsburgh. Like, I'm thinking back to Baltimore and I'm like, I don't fucking even – yeah. Yeah. No. I mean, that's – you know, your house is Chinatown now. That's what happens. I remember when I moved to Pittsburgh, Holly Reed was the other Asian in my school. Yeah.

And so at home at the first dance I ever went to, they're like, you guys should dance together. It's like, what? Why? It's like, well, you're Asian. You guys should be Asian together. But yeah, I mean I remember I was six and some kid called me a chink. And I laughed. I thought that was like, oh, that's a cool nickname. And I wrote six and some kid called me Chink and I laughed. I thought that was like, oh, that's a cool nickname and I wrote it on my baseball glove, Chink.

And my dad's like, no, he was making fun of you. And I was like, oh, that's bad. Like I didn't know. And then my dad explained it to me and I remember being six years old, looking at my mom and just staring at her like she doesn't look different to me like she's just my mom i was like is she different and i remember going in the mirror and i remember doing this i was going like this to my eyes at six years old and i was like they don't feel different and it was just like it was weird to me i i didn't view myself any differently but then as i got into junior high school when i moved to moved to Pittsburgh, actually, he ended up becoming a friend of mine. But this kid named, I don't want to say his name, but John,

John kept calling me a chink. Every time I walked down and passed him in the hallway, chink, chink, chink. I was on the bus, chink, chink, chink. And I was like, I was getting like angry. And my dad, I remember this is like the third day now. And I told my dad. This kid keeps calling me a chink every time I walk past him. Every time I do something, he goes, well, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to let him keep saying it or are you going to do something about it? I was like, I don't know. He's like, well, it's up to you.

But it's – you could do something about it or you could just let him keep doing it. I like your dad's style. He was like classic dad, right? I'd have been like, just so you know, I'm not telling you what to do, but I'd be happy to sit in the office if you punch me in the butt. I'll keep the car running. So I go in and I walk down the hall and John, I walk past him. He goes, hey, gook. Oh.

It was just like a, yeah. Always a. And, you know, I just turn around. I walk right up to him and I just fucking hit him. Fuck yeah. I hit him and he popped back and he didn't say anything. I think he was more stunned than anything. He was just shocked.

He just stood there and I stared at him. I'm thinking, okay, he didn't do anything. And I just walked to my locker and I told my dad. I was like, yeah, I just hit him. He goes, what did he do? I go, he didn't do anything. And I just walked to my locker and I told my dad, I was like, yeah, I just hit him. He goes, what did he do? I go, I didn't do anything. He just stood there. He goes, that's what most of them will do. You just got to hit him back.

And most of them are scared that you even did something. I was like, okay. So that was always kind of like the way of operating, not only in that moment, but I've learned early on that if you're going to engage, you know, just hit them first. I don't like to do this like shoving shit and you got a fucking problem. It's just like,

there's this great movie, Open Range, with Kevin Costner and Robert Duvall and something happened to one of Kevin Costner's friends and, and,

no, I think it, I think it's Wyatt Earp. I love Kevin Costner in a Western and it was Wyatt Earp and he love Kevin Costner in a Western. And it was Wyatt Earp and he walks up to the gang. They're all talking shit, right?

And Kevin Costner doesn't say shit. He's just walking right up. He walks right up to this guy and the guy's mouthing off to him and he's giving him shit as he's closing in. Kevin Costner, as he's getting close within like five yards, he goes, are you the one that shot my friend? And that guy goes, yeah. And he just walks up, bang. And he just shot him right in the fucking face. I was like, I never seen that in a Western, but that's the way to operate.

That's it. Someone's talking shit. You know shit's going to go to you. You just walk up, bam. Handle it. We don't need to be chit-chatting about this bullshit. We know everything we need to know. Yeah. You know what's funny?

I'm thinking about this over. This is where my mind's going. The word chink. Yeah. Why are we still allowed to use that when we refer to armor? Why are we allowed to say – Chink the armor? Yeah. Why? Hold on.

Spick and span. There's a – I was just about to say, is there any other racial or racist term that's used? Could you imagine if you could drop an M-bomb and something like that? You're like, oh, no, no, no. He meant that like – Well, there was a college professor that got – that lost his job because – Spick and span. You're right.

When I was in China for the – I didn't even think of that. Another one is using it. Anyways. So I was in Beijing for the Olympics in 2008 and I was walking through Beijing just as normal tourist does and I kept hearing this word over and over and over again. And it was niga, niga, niga, niga, niga. And that is – in China, that's basically like – you know when you pick up your phone

and somebody calls you like, hey, where's your keys? My keys are right over here. That's almost like you're saying, uh, um, uh, whatever. So it's kind of like this holdover until you catch your thought, right? So I was hearing it constantly. And I understood how much a part of the culture – it's just language, right? And this college professor in California lost his job because he was defining the word for a class. And I think that's to the extent that things are – especially in such a progressive state as California where you can't even define a word that could be offensive to somebody where you're just – you're not – you're taking out of context.

Yeah, I'm educating you. Exactly, yeah. Yeah. And I think that's a dangerous slope. Well played. But it is crazy, right, to think that you can't say certain words. And look, I think it is – as much as I – you see the violence and everything that happened at the Capitol building unfold and I as an American don't agree with that. I don't agree with rioting at the Capitol building. I don't agree with rioting in the streets and small businesses and all that other stuff.

But I do think it is destructive when you tell a sect of the population you're allowed to communicate your thoughts and opinions but you're not. And for big tech companies to come in and – like Twitter says you can't say this stuff on a platform. Other platforms develop for people that want to have that opinion and voice. On other platforms developed for people that want to have that opinion and voice and then big tech companies come in and say, oh, you left Twitter. But now we're going to shut that down now too. Being said, I think you should still agree with the fact that everybody in this country has the right to express their opinion, especially in comedy. And I understand people say words hurt, but Paul McCartney is never going to tell insane class posse that's not music. No. Like we should all be able to still be able to – there's an audience for everybody. Do you remember when growing up – I mean how old are you now are you now 46 okay i've got one year on you yeah it was sticks and stones may break my bones but names

will never hurt me or words will never hurt i mean that was what you it was like a nursery rhyme that you just put in your kids like it's words it's, you know, I get racism is – we're being – Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But still, if, you know, like your dad said, is that – well, he's going to keep saying it until you fucking make sure he doesn't say it anymore. Yeah. Then you end up being friends with the kid. And I ended up being friends with him and his family.

I'd go over and have dinner with them and stuff. I remember one time I was on a swing. Did you ever tell them? No, no, no. Did your dad ever bust his balls when he came over? No, no, no. Oh, I would have. Yeah, I would have.

You're my son's racist friend? Yeah. All right, all right. No, my dad was cool. My dad, I mean, he is cool. He told me, I remember one time I was trying to swing at the playground, and the kids were making fun of me, you can't swing. And I told my dad, I'm like, yeah, they make fun of me, I can't swing. He told me, I remember one time I was trying to swing at the playground and the kids were making fun of me. You can't swing.

And I told my dad, I'm like, yeah, they make fun of me. I can't swing. He's like, well, can you? I was like, no. He's like, well, then there you go. And that was it. I was like, oh, I got to work harder swinging. It's like he wasn't there to coddle me or anything like that.

So, yeah, he's definitely an older generation, which I respect. Well, I ask, we've talked about it a lot. I ask all my first-time guests advice they would give to their 16-year-old self. So looking back through some of the things we've talked about today, what advice would you give to 16-year-old you? Oh, fuck. It's funny because this was actually sent to me by a woman that did an article on me in high school. Oh, yeah? So if you want to hold that up to one of your cameras, that's me.

My senior class picture. I don't know where. Look at eight. Is it you at 17 or 18 here? I'm 17 right there. And do you know how bad this picture was? You don't look anything like Jackie Chan, bro. There were so many zits in the actual

picture, my parents didn't order my senior class picture. Is that right? Because it was so bad. They didn't want it. They didn't, they didn't, they never ordered it. So you go into like your parents' house, there's always the picture above the fireplace. It happened.

Because there were so many zits on my face. It was so embarrassing. But if I was to tell a 17-year-old, 16-year-old Steve Byrne anything, he'd be like, hang tight. You still have two years until your first kiss. Was it 18? I was 18, yeah.

I graduated high school until I had my first kiss. But I would tell myself all the things you're getting made fun of when you're 16, 15, 14, everything you've experienced, that will end up being your superpower when you get older. Yeah, that's great. All those things that you don't even accept right now, you're going to embrace those things when you get older. That's great. All those things that you don't even accept right now, you're going to embrace those things in your 20. Those are the things that are going to make you different and those things that are going to make you special. It's not a tattoo.

It's everything in here and just all that shit that you got made fun of. It's going to make you a better person. So I think that's probably what I tell myself. Dude, that's great. That is really great. I haven't heard that one yet. Yeah, because I'm not a fucking hack like all these other ones you had on this fucking show i've been waiting for you to get here bro um one more time again promote

everything please uh the city of pittsburgh it's uh the steelers it's the city of champions not this year no not this year not this year But much respect to the Ravens because you brought a bona fide fucking rivalry back to the Steelers. That is true. We have a great rivalry. It makes it much viewing. It's the best rivalry in sports. In sports. People are like, I know Packers, Bears, whatever.

Those are historic. The best rivalry statistically are our two teams every time we match up. Every time. To violence. Cheers. To violence on the field. AFC North violence. Makes me miss drinking.

Yeah. Wish I could have some whiskey right now at the Comedy Store patio or something with everybody. You have a joint outside, oh man. No, I don't smoke. Whiskey's my thing, but I think I'd be remiss if on behalf of both of us we didn't say we miss our good friend Jeff Scott.

Yeah, I can't even. That was – it just feels like 2020 is continuing. It doesn't feel like it's ended. It just feels like it just carried right over. And that was – yeah, I was texting with Emily and I know Brian Scalera. I was talking with him. He just had him on. I was watching that and seemed totally healthy.

I mean, just – And a Cleveland boy. Yeah. And he'd be somebody that I would love to sit and talk with before and after my sets while he got high. And then half the time I'm on stage doing my fucking set, I'm wondering if Jeff Scott is going to come back and play me off. This is going to be a 20-minute set and and then Elias is going to be pissed at me because I ran the lights like, yeah, fuck, he's got an eye. Don't fucking yell at me.

Talk to Jeff Scott. Well, thank you, brother. Thank you for coming on. Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. And as always, we'll talk to you all next week.