The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Tony Hinchcliffe - Joey Slaps

Episode Date: July 20, 2020

My HoneyDew this week is Tony Hinchcliffe! Tony dives deeper into his relationship with his dad when he was a child and shares some stories about where they are as father and son today. Tony just gets it. We share a lotta laughs at his lowlights! Subscribe to my YouTube channel & watch The Dew there every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler Subscribe to my new Patreon show, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I highlight the lowlights with y’all! What’s your story?? https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew Sponsors: Get a special offer that includes a 4-week trial PLUS free postage AND a digital scale without any long-term commitment. Go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the page and type in HONEYDEW Check out Hawthorne at Hawthorne.co (that’s Hawthorne with an E) and use my promo code HONEYDEW to get 10% off your first purchase. That’s Hawthorne.co code HONEYDEW If you visit https://expressvpn.com/honeydew, you can get an extra 3 months of ExpressVPN for free! Support the show, watch what you want and protect yourself with ExpressVPN

This episode of The Honeydew is brought to you by HawthorneStamps.com and ExpressVPN. More on that later. Let's get into the do. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it. Studio Night Pants. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com.

Ryan Sickler on all social media. Go over to my website. Sign up for the email list. Make sure you're subscribed to the YouTube channel. And we've got time codes on there now. If you want to jump the stories, all that good stuff. Make sure you subscribe to the Patreon show as well called The Honeydew with y'all where i highlight the low lights with y'all if you think you have a story or somebody you know has a great story you think should be told

please submit at honeydewpodcast at gmail.com night pass nation thank you we just got a lot shorter with night shorts now go get your y'all wanted i guess florida arizona you guys are hot it is summer so go get your night shorts we got the coffee mugs in there now. Originally, these were just a gift for my guests, but everybody started wanting one. So they're up there now. Charcoal hoodies. Y'all wanted that. It's all, it's all there. Go to the merch store, get your merch. And if you're looking for musical lessons, you guys know I'll record here at the Santa Monica Music Center. Go to santamonicamusic.com. Use code HONEYDOO and they'll waive the registration fee and give you a free lesson when you sign up for a package.

If you're looking for online lessons right now, I'm telling you, this is the spot to be. You can have kick-ass Los Angeles musicians train you or your kids. Learn a fucking instrument with your kids, guys. You're stuck at home. What are you going to do? But what we do here every week is we highlight the lowlights. These are the stories behind the storytellers. And it is a pleasure to have this guest return.

I'm going to say, out of the gate, I didn't think it was going to happen. But like his father, he has returned. Ladies and gentlemen, Tony Hitchcliff is back, everybody. Yeah, what's up? Glad to be here, man. Thank you for coming back. Absolutely. Pleasure.

I tell them all the time, our moment about your dad is absolutely one of my favorites. It's like my steel cage match. One of my favorites of all time. Sometimes in this podcast world, everything just clicks for a little bit, and you got the best out of me on that day. This show, thank you.

It means everything to get you. For it to be you, I'm telling you, it's at the top of my resume. I loved it. I love that you love it because you get it. You totally fucking get it. We've been laughing about it ever since. Oh, my God. So we'll get to that.

But before we do, plug whatever, anything you want. What do you got going on? Well, we're trying a version of Kill Tony right now with an extremely limited audience sitting outside. It's a whole crazy fiasco over at Kill Tony. But how's the streaming part of that going, though? That's still solid? It's pretty solid, yeah.

I mean, we're getting through it. We're having fun with it. Just the stakes are so much lower on that show because there's no live audience for the for the the vibe of the feeling and they understand how good or bad someone did on stage or you know there's so many little nicky nacky things about stand-up comedy that uh we just don't you know just it's just a different show show have you done any of the digital stand up shows? no I can't bring myself to do it

I've been offered it and I'm just like it's such stand up for me already as hard enough as it is to then throw in people's wifi connection all these other layers I'm like yeah I'm going to wait a little bit and then their dog starts barking fire hydrant explodes in the background yeah they're screaming

everything goes nuts but yeah but i yeah you have a new uh patreon project it's a roast master class where i'm talking exclusively about the art of roasting that is perfect for teaching people how to do it better and uh they uh, they get a bump, proud student bumper sticker and a diploma after six months. And I just did a, a live stream. I came straight from that. And,

we gave people homework last week and we went over their, uh, jokes today and it was so much fun. Who's we, who do you work with? Uh, just my producer gauge. But, uh, during the live stream, everybody submitted the jokes that I had them write last week

that I told them to start on last week, which was just broad Quentin Tarantino jokes. Because that's what we were talking about. And it was so much fun. I got to give them little lessons on like little things that, you know, you know, and that I know from being in comedy but like oh okay if you move that there or if you cut that out you don't need those words or completely different exactly and and you know one of the cool things was that like as it went on so i'm like where where are more of your submissions people and they're like uh

those are the only good ones i wrote i'm like send in the bad ones because this is the the lesson here is that you don't know what's good and bad and sure enough it kept getting like better and better because it was the dumber jokes right that uh and frank castillo was with me the winner of season two of roast battle and we were dying man at some of these jokes that people thought were stupid it's just a roast master class it's at patreon.com slash Hinchcliffe. And can you get that on your website and everywhere? Just link out to it. TonyHinchcliffe.com.

That's great. How long have you been doing that now? Pandemic project right there. The first thing that I did, it started off as a complete joke. The first thing that I did creatively other than kill Tony when this thing started was I made a parody video of a

master class because they kept popping up on my YouTube between like Rogan episodes or whatever in the background or whatever I was doing. I don't know. I didn't know if it was just my algorithm or whatever giving me master classes. But I'm like, these are so ridiculous that I'm going to write one, a stupid one and make one and so many people were like take my money please i want this to be real and i'm like what and then um my bookie.ag saw the post and they're like uh we want to be a big part of this and i'm like that was that that was a parody and they're like oh yeah well i'll bet you yeah i'm like i'll take that bet my bookie.ag and sure enough they did they fucking great they did and uh and but what's crazy is that and i was literally thinking it on

the drive here was because i was thinking about how cool it was going over these other people's jokes it was just a thing i randomly did like all right we got homework i'll check it on the next live stream thing next week and it went so well that it became this so at the end of this i gave them more homework i said imaginary roast of elon musk we'll check those next week so now we got them working and we're figuring out you know how to make these adjustments and people get to see other people's mistakes or what they did right it's just fun i love roasting i love making fun of people so it's easy for me to sit down for an hour hour and a half a week and talk about it that's it absolutely and i get to bring fun guests on of people that i've worked with for 10 years you know i had sarah tiana on last week hilarious she's awesome she's reminding me of things that

i didn't even fucking remember but like uh yeah she told me that she remembered when I started becoming a republican and she reminded me of it I swear to god I did not even remember but it was when um it was when uh she was in the room as far away as I am from you when we got our first paycheck from the first comedy central show that we wrote on and when I say I was broke at this point i mean fucking broke broke broke like i was only eating basically granola bars and bananas from the kitchen craft service yeah and um and it had taken forever for viacom you know how these weirdos are oh we get 90 days oh you didn't get that all right we're gonna kill that check it's gonna be another 90 yeah oh it's

gonna be six months before I get paid? This billion dollar company with these guys eating nature's harvest. I can't even look at those granola bars, but I swear to God, it's one of the only things that the thought of it makes me fucking sick to my fucking stomach. The nature's valley granola bars because I eat so many of them. Anyway, so we finally get these checks. We're like six, seven weeks into the show. I mean, I can't even believe it.

Right. And then I open it and I'm expecting this crazy paycheck, right, of all these weeks and all this stuff. And I'm like, what the hell is this? And they're like, taxes, man. That's how the tax. That's how they take out the taxes for projects like this. taxes man that's how the tax that's how they take out the taxes for projects like this and and tiana reminded me she goes you said this is how republicans are born and and when she said it i

remembered saying that and then i realized that was the day that i went from that that it began the meter of farthest leftist liberal even fiscally that you can be to literally like it started going to where now i'm like you know almost almost like you know mitch mcconnell like aoc to mitch mcconnell i'm like bitch mcconnell ah that's great but what's great about that is that that's the type of stuff that happens you get reminded of literally a story from 10 years ago that you don't even remember and you look back at yourself like wow that is wild that i said that because it was the truth that is it's not like i'm some congressman or anything like that but

certainly my perspective on money started changing that day well i also like the whole arsenal of being able to roast um because that's like you talk sitting here and talking to a lot of comedians who were bullied or outcast or whatever the thing that made them um ingratiated into those groups was that they were able to make everyone laugh yeah even if they couldn't fight or they were the nerd if they were busting balls and making somebody laugh you were welcome that was your thing yeah i know if you have that skill at a party or a family like um that's the shit where you could lay on somebody at a fucking funeral whatever and that's the thing they don't remember what that person looked like in the call like yeah fucking tony said i remember one time my brother

like my uh brother has two kids they're within a few days of each other but two years apart so up until they were i don't know 10 11 figured out, hey, we don't want to do double birthdays. We want our own shit. They just doubled up on the birthdays. And there was always a million things to do. And his wife was, Ryan, you go get all the alcohol at the store. Derek's going to go work half day. When he comes home, he's going to cut the grass.

And she's got us putting this fucking trellis thing up. Like, it's 100 degrees. We're dying. We finally sit on the fucking couch. I mean asses hit we crack a beer and it's like 1 30 and people are starting to show up you know and it's little kids and their parents and stuff and his wife goes what are you doing there's people here they need to be entertained my brother just looks at her goes then you shot a hired a fucking clown and i dude i laughed so i still remember i don't remember anything about that goddamn birthday but i remember him telling her you should have hired a fucking clown because i ate it so beautiful and she just shot both of us looks and i was like we'll get out that's so beautiful man that's the

kind of shit i just nice easy economy of words and sweet. You should have hired a fucking clown. My brother's a natural with it. He went to his wife, goes, Ryan, will you please explain to your brother why this comment that he made is offensive? And she goes, you're a performer. Explain it. Okay, so she tells me a story about this lady she knows

that I don't know if she was in an act. Something happened, and she had been out of action, local theater, for a little over a year, and she was in an act. Something happened and she had been out of action. Local theater for a little over a year. And this was her big comeback. Her husband also is an actor in the theater and has had no layoff. So they go to watch this production. And when they get done, my brother meets them in the lobby with his wife. And he says, yeah, you were all right.

You were all right. But he's really good. And I just started dying laughing. I'm like, Derek, that is all right. You were all right. But he's really good. And I just started dialing. And I'm like, Derek, that is the worst fucking thing you've seen. Yeah. That's my mom with Segura. She came up to me and goes, you were all right. But he's really funny.

She says, Segura's, yeah, my mom's favorite comedian. I love that shit. I love the inappropriateness. I love the people with the literal, like, what? Right. What are you talking about? Yeah. Bad compliments.

But to be able to fucking do it intentionally and just shut it down, light a cigarette, walk away. Oh, man. It's the absolute best. So I tagged you in a post recently. You wanted me to ask you about this. Yeah. I want to fill you in on this because it's pretty interesting. So I started a page around uh called the honeydew

with y'all where i talk to y'all out there and they submit their stories and i read them and like you i love it i'm sitting there reading like what the fuck so i vet them and i'm trying to get people and balance it all out and this kid hits me up now i didn't know at the time he was a kid i assumed and i said this in the episode i don't know why but not telling me your age or anything i assume this was some dude probably in his 40s or 50s damn this is happening to a lot of comedians lately this whole i thought you were a normal age turns out yeah this is turns out they were a lot younger than you a lot huh oh you better look out so um he gets on the camera and i'm like dude how old are you you know he's like i'm 19 i'm like

did this just happen he's like yeah i'm like holy shit i'm assuming i'm gonna be talking to a man in his 40s 50s put some shit together figured it all out this is a kid who's 19 and tells me that you know he had his what who he thought was his biological father i think stuck around till about eight left. They had stayed in touch for a little while. And then it sort of Peter off. He had a stepdad come in. And that guy was a good dude, too.

But one day he's he's 18 at their high school friends and they all knew they all knew and kept it from him this whole time behind his back. knew they all knew and kept it from him this whole time behind his back this group of kids knows that it's very possible that his father's not his father and not only that his dad's not his dad their friend's dad is his dad oh my god how do they know do you know how they know well the girl okay so he grew up with his mom and another lady were super tight growing up and so he grew up with that daughter they were relatively the same age sort of like that cousin's kind of thing you know um and she knew and she didn't find out till later i believe and then told her boyfriend well her boyfriend was his best friend and then one night they're all drinking and somebody walks up to him and basically

goes look man i got some shit to tell you go see tony hinchcliffe and he's like wait he's like no you go see tony so he sent him to his best friend his best friend's like look the guy that you think is your dad is probably not your dad and not only is he not your dad, it's her dad. This is your sister. And he's like, what? So they take a DNA test and sure enough, it is. There's their half siblings,

but he knows about her. He's claimed her. And now he's married, um, with a, to a woman who has two kids of her own. They're in the car and they call the, the brother and sister call him and they go,

Hey, you know, that whole thing we talked about where whatever i can't i'm sorry i can't remember rob was you know your son he's like he goes well we took a dna test and he is and he's like all right i'm uh i'm about to call you back and what they didn't know is he was in the car with his wife and the kid they all fucking heard that oh and the guy lived at the end of the street all through the end of the street all through middle school and high school and he said i used to watch his pickup truck drive by the whole time and i'm like that that guy's my fucking dad oh my god lived in i mean in the neighborhood could you imagine like your situation is you saw, I believe, your dad's truck going by your friend's house. Could you imagine if that friend was your brother?

No, no, that's wild. And, you know, what's crazy is that if they I wonder if he ever would have found out if a friend didn't leak it. You know, if a friend didn't perhaps overstep a boundary in a way and also yeah how did the mom take this do you know about this so that was probably hard on her it wasn't he said because the daughter went back to her mom and said look this shit came out he's gonna ask questions he knows so the mom gave his mom a heads up, like expected it's coming. So she wasn't blindsided.

Okay. So when he went to her and said, look, I know who my real dad is. She's like, yeah, I know. And it wasn't a big deal for her because she knew he found out.

But the, the best part was his, like his stepdad picked him up from college to drive him to see his mom and he's like look man i had some shit came out and i know who my real dad is and he knew the state he told the dad he's telling the stepdad right on his way that he found summer break i know who my real dad is yeah he's like yeah man i'm sorry i've i've i've known too like everybody's been told not to tell you and I apologize. And he's like, well, how do I tell my mom?

And that guy's like, you're on your fucking own, bro. I said, I'm just your stepdad. You're on your fucking own. I'm not your over stepdad. Holy shit. You gotta deal with that on your own. That is hilarious. That shit is unbelievable.

And it makes you wonder how many, how often is this really happening? In your neighborhood. Because if that friend doesn't tell him, he might never know. And I think I would have eventually probably have been told the truth. Maybe, I'm sure, eventually about my dad. But if I had not figured it out on my

own they would have just waited until you did and by the time they wait that long it almost makes you wonder i mean if that guy if that kid was 18 it's like man at this point why why tell him i told him too like you know how much money you saved that fucking dude? You're 18 hitting him up. Like, hey, I'm your kid. Like, whoo. Are you? Well, it's an interesting thing. From my experience, I was always like, once I realized what was going on, I did the math on it.

And I'm like, you know, I don't even want that much stuff. I don't want anything. My mom probably wanted some money of course but it's like i would almost be like you know i probably wanted to be like mom don't bother him for money like i'd rather don't scare this guy away any more than you already have please don't make him go three miles away. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. Oh, my mom's going to be on the floor.

That's another thing. My mom has such a crazy sense of humor. I can't even imagine. She howls. She is a fucking cackler. It's who I get my wackadoodle hard laugh from. yours probably too my dad and my grandma yeah that's where people like sirens yeah exactly it doesn't just you don't just laugh like that out of nowhere you you live with somebody for a while in which you're like is that how you laugh that's how you laugh yeah yeah the silent moments in between are the ones that

get me when they can't breathe yeah oh i'm happy, though, because she listened to it, obviously. But I'm pretty sure my dad didn't get a hold of that one. Treated it like it's a kid to him. Exactly. He actually just closed his restaurant for the first time in over two decades. Because of the virus? Yeah. That's sad.

Not because he's retiring. Well, that's sad yeah not because he's retiring and well he's saying it's because he's retiring but it's like you know that's uh it's like a guy with too much pride i think to say that the virus hit home too hard i mean they're just doing like takeouts or whatever it's just not the same for a fancy italian restaurant i can't remember did you work for him after you found it all out no no in fact uh because we just sort of stuck to the plan because i found out i mean i'm sorry i found out for people who have first of all listen to tony's first episode how old were you when you found out when you put it together um like 10 11 you know

you were young right right right in there somewhere between 9 and 11 okay i can't remember which one now but i found out the exact uh age right as the like pandemic started like mid-march because i was double crossing stories with my older sister who's obviously a half sibling because i'm the only one that my mom and dad had together and i was figuring stuff out but uh yeah so i can't even really remember now my my psychologically damaged mind won't let me uh won't let me exactly retrace the uh the steps but uh were we just talking i asked you if you ever worked for him right um so you know i knew but his family didn't find out until his wife saw you and was like you're a dead ringer for your dad i remember that i mean like a ghost right but randomly right you were like catering or something like right i was

bartending an afternoon uh a high school reunion like a 30 or 40 year high school reunion. And I mean a ghost at the bar. It's like that scene in a Bronx tell where there's the one guy and you see him with the gun, but like nobody else sees them. They're all partying. She's just staring at me like that. It was so crazy.

Did you know who she was, right? Oh, yeah. Well, actually, no, I didn't know what's crazy who she was right oh yeah so well actually no i didn't know what she looked like i knew of her i knew it was i knew at that time it was basically my mom's like arch nemesis because that lady at one point had the man you know my mom was on the side and she was the woman that got to live with him and not even wake up in the same bed. They all slept in separate beds and all that. It was like Willy Wonka. It was like the opposite of Willy Wonka, actually.

But, you know, those old in the 80s, those, you know, Italian Catholic relationships, you didn't get divorced. You just got miserable. Yeah, you stayed for the kids. Just separate bedrooms. horse you just got miserable yeah you stayed for the separate bedrooms and once the kids were out you started taking other bedrooms and sleeping on bunk beds or whatever it took to stay away from one another um so i didn't know what she looked like but to be honest with you i remember i knew it was her that's what you know what i mean like as i'm walking up i'm like is this gonna be is this the fucking i don't and i remember being busy too

but time just stopping like you know bartending i don't know if you've ever done it but it's the art is what's next you're thinking ahead it's almost really good to like have that have that type of job as a stand-up comedian because that's obviously what we're sort of tracking you're living in the moment you're doing things in the moment right but you're also like what's next again oh yeah it's interesting which is probably why you're good and at pool and you like pool because you're always thinking shots three four shots ahead i'm not thinking about this one here i'm thinking where you're exactly right that's an exactly perfect uh perfect use of that but what's crazy is that i never worked for my dad because that happened after i was sort of out of youngstown i just went back for that bartending gig to re-save money again

i think i was 19 or 20 it's all getting mixed up now 22 i came you know at 22 i started yeah it was like 20 years old bartending in youngstown that goes to show you what Youngstown's liquor restrictions are like. But what's crazy is that in high school, I worked at the pizza restaurant directly across, and I mean there's nothing else, directly across from my

father's restaurant. Straight out the glass. Straight out the glass. And are you seeing him pulling it out a lot? Pulling it out. It getting packed in there with my family members from his side. I mean, just packed. The family was there all the time. Right.

Because they didn't know. Right. And then before I. But you at that point knew. At that point. Oh, I knew for sure. Yeah. Because he had come to talk.

Oh, I had known for. Jeez. You know, 10, 10 11 12 years and you're sitting at a pizza place working for a probably a minimum wage gig looking across the street where you could be working for your dad at least a couple bucks more now this kid when his dad owned owns a restaurant hired him only pays him a dollar more right then i was like all the money he saved yeah and fucking child support he could at least kick you two dollars after an hour jesus christ and it was a shitty little i mean delicious pizza by the way it had to be i don't know how you don't i don't

know how you didn't turn to food for feelings and you weigh a thousand oh my god i would have been eating pizza looking out that window i do i do. I did. I eat like a motherfucker. People are always surprised, dude. That is brutal. I work with Rogan a lot, and I will out-eat him 97% of the time. Mr. Bear Man Carnivore. I'll fucking eat all my ribeye and some mac and cheese and some mashed potatoes and a fucking salad and a soup i'm disgusted and that hug i never got no one eats better than the whatever worms are living inside

my fucking body but i i do i eat like the fattest fat man you've ever i'm like i got a case of like the joey chestnuts or something like that that's me i just fucking plow it down but i do i eat like a sad fat man and they never came over to get pizza or anything like that i hate it that's me i just fucking plow it down but i do i eat like a sad fat man and they never came over to get pizza or anything like that i hate it that's like sacrilegious to my father i see because he even eats in his restaurant as well oh yeah the like some of the most famous pizza in the city different pizza though his pizza is real italian super authentic this pizza over here is fucking thick crust greasy yeah delicious by the way his is too in a different type of delicious way you know it's the margarita with ricotta but this fucking pizza

was like you don't even know how to describe it you know there's nothing in la like it to where it's a medium crust fucking just real i didn't make me hungry pizza no i know but yeah that's uptown pizza in youngstown and would you tell your friends that work there like that's my dad over there and that's his place or did you just shut up about it yeah no it was sort of a known thing amongst my people you guys never fucking water ballooned the place or launched we used to take slingshots and launch them across the street at places we didn't like yeah no water balloons yeah and we would do that but not at my dad's restaurant i always i always still i thought he was cool as hell he is cool as hell he's a cool dude and um you know i always i never wanted to like get revenge or be mad at him. It was always, like I said about the money thing,

it was always the opposite. I always wanted him to think I was cool too. It sounds so sad. That is sad. That's so sad. But that is all you want, for Christ's sake. All I ever wanted was my dad to think I'm cool. That's it.

My mother used to try to like once in a while she sent like 20 for christmas or something i would just tear it up and throw it in the trash i don't also i never wanted what the the money um what came with the money i never wanted that you know what i mean i knew it was going to be some like well i sent you 20 and like that so so what you know? You know, so I'm with you. And money wouldn't have made me feel any better. Exactly. Wouldn't have made me feel any fucking better. Right. You're just going to buy something

stupid anyway. But yeah. But how's your relationship now? You have a good relationship. It's actually really cool. Is it getting better or is it in a great spot or a comfortable spot at least? It's in a great spot. I don't think it could be any better.

I don't think it could be any cooler. In fact, I think as the years have gone on, I may have slowly but surely become out of nowhere the dark horse in a long horse race. I think I became his favorite. I think I ended up in this in this crazy horse race i think i ended up beating the kids that were raised in his house

they probably drive them nuts more yeah no i mean like it's a lot i can hear it in his voice a little bit you know i mean obviously because we're basically only talking on the phone but over the years i think especially the comedy thing obviously really helped like 13 you know it's been 13 years 13 years ago the the annual update or you know twice a year update it's weird because we really only talk twice a year which is on my birthday and father's day he calls me on my birthday i call him on father's day now the sad thing about that and i've never really even this is another exclusive to you right here right now what's really sad about only talking to your dad on those two days is that my birthday is on june 8th and father's day is like the next night you get back the back of the week so that's it

so so we uh but we we made we it's not and it's not even anything we like outgoingly talk about it's just always how it works it's just something like so it's still like anything we like outgoingly talk about. It's just always how it works. It's just something like. So it's still like a year in between us talking most of the time. Let's take a quick break and tell you about our first sponsor, Hawthorne. So I don't know about you guys, whether you wear a deodorant, cologne, whatever. I was never a big cologne guy. I'd always try like Obsession or whatever back in the day, you know, polo, high school, all that stuff. And then just never really, I never did it right.

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Support the show. Watch what you want. Protect yourself with ExpressVPN at expressvpn.com slash honeydew. Now let's get back to the do. Other than those two talks, for the last quite few years, I go and visit every December for like a night. Like once a... So you go to visit your mom, but you'll go over there.

Right. So like this past one. When was I in here? When was I with you last? Was that before December? Of this year? Yeah. God, it's tough.

I think it was because I started this in March. Well, video in March of last year. You had to be in last year. Yeah. So like this, and I'll always go eat at his restaurant. You know, sometimes I'll be there with, you know sometimes i'll uh sometimes i'll be there with you know friends or family you know i've taken the wife in there i've taken past girlfriends in there and this last one the we were in the middle of a kill tony stretch of the tour so i I had Red Band, Jeremiah, and Joel. This one you got pulled over by

the cop with your socks on? Oh yeah. I follow. I love that. So yeah, we did Columbus, and then Pittsburgh, and then Cleveland, and I had my agent strategically put a night off in between one of those things. Pittsburgh

and Cleveland, which is right where Youngstown is. And I took them to my father's restaurant and their minds were completely blown i mean they got to hear real italian stories from a they had no idea i don't think anybody could ever possibly guess how italian my father actually is because I talk like a normal white guy from northeast Ohio and my father is so I mean he's literally like Tony Soprano a hundred percent maybe even a little more Marsco Marsco is Hinchcliffe your mom's then Hinchcliffe is my mom's previous husband's last name so all my older brothers and sisters are Hinchcliffe okay so you all have the Hinchcliffe is my mom's previous husband's last name. So all my older brothers and sisters are Hinchcliffe. Okay. So you all have the Hinchcliffe.

Yeah. Got it. And they got to hear real like, and I mean, he was, he was, you know, he had, he had a lot of fun in his days. It's, you know, a pretty, don't know how to say this exactly right, but it's pretty, you know, um, uh, sopranos-esque. don't know how to say this exactly right but it's pretty you know um sopranos-esque goodfellas-esque that whole lifestyle there in youngstown and they got to hear stories that like there were times where jeremiah's i was catching i'm sitting

at the restaurant they're across the bar telling us some of these stories, my father and his wife, about him over the years, all the stuff that he's done. Because I just kept going, tell us another one, tell us another one. And for example, there was one where his lady is like, tell him about Joey Slaps. The name's on the Joey Slaps. And we're literally like, oh yeah gotta tell us about joey slaps and he's like they don't want to hear about joey slaps the build-up i love my god he's like you tell him about joey slaps you'll be able to tell him better than and so she goes into it you know we are all at

baba buzz and baba buzz and they used to stay open till 4 a.m. And he would always take me out underneath his arm, whatever is going on. And oh, he was trying to get one of his buddies out of the bar because the cocaine dealer guy was going to try to sell that guy cocaine. And he was trying to get his buddy off cocaine. My dad was never into any drugs, but he's trying to help his buddy off cocaine my dad was never into any drugs but he's trying to help his buddy out because he sees it's the end of the night and this cocaine dealer walked in and he knows that he's there to sell his buddy cocaine so he's like come on we're all getting out of here and uh he takes his buddy and the cocaine dealer's like what's going on what the

what are you doing why are you leaving he's like get the fuck out of here you know and this is you know now my dad's telling the story of course i was gonna say hello before he's like yeah exactly he gives her all the setup he gets all the fucking punch literally and uh and uh you know the cocaine dealer's like what are you doing come on i want to hang out with your friend come he's like we're getting out of here you better get the fuck out of here and then um and then the guy's like oh what are you gonna what are you gonna oh big tough big tough you know and he says his name what are you gonna do pull your gun out and shoot me or something and he goes no i'm not gonna pull my fucking and that's all he said and then that's when she takes over the story again he hit him so fucking hard everybody called him joey slaps for six years after that he stopped it was like

that's why they alley-oop the story like this is like triangle offense she starts she starts she brings the ball down the court ball movement to him down at the post and she's wide open at the end they fucking hit him so hard everybody called him joey slaps for six years and that's the part where i remember jeremiah who's a good guy jeremiah walkins is like you know he'll do a lot of crazy jokes it's all in characters and stuff he's a good christ Christian. He's a very good Christian. And I'll never forget his face because I'm sitting there at the bar and they're talking about his face going

like this to me. Like that look where they don't move their eyes. It's just the whole head on a swivel. And I've been everywhere with Jeremiah. All around the world. We've been everywhere with Jeremiah all around the world we've been to places multiple times you know the bond from that but you never

forget moments like that where they're finding out that your father is like you know just beyond a character I mean way beyond a character I can't believe that it's cool as hell for me to think that my dad is that I mean, way beyond the character. I can't believe that. It's cool as hell for me to think that my dad is that cool or has these stories.

Have you ever had him on? Would you ever do a Zoom with him? Do you not want to? I don't think he would. Do you think he would? Yeah, do you think he would? I just don't. I just don't. I think for two minutes, like, what do we do for two minutes what do we do i got another one we probably never leave you alone right no i mean i'll tell you

this is once we got the momentum going to his stories i couldn't believe that he had more like it i mean joey slaps was just one it was it was one of the shorter stories other other i love that they called joey slaps because usually you earn a nickname because you slap somebody and you're joey slaps he got that nickname because your dad slapped the shit out of him dude that makes me laugh so hard everywhere you gotta go like joey slaps like you gotta be reminded because there were other witnesses there they said that it sounded like someone took two pieces of wood like that that's what they said like he was a legend for a while joey slaps i watch those slap fights a lot you watch those where the guys are at the table hold on your dad might have a and what's funny is that when she goes i just i just remember this right now is when she goes hey hey, I'm so fucking hot.

It's got him six years. Joey Slaps. He goes, I barely touch. Something like it was just a little whack, a little whack. They're my favorite. I just love people like that and that's another thing is you can't even expect you know around comedy all the time we're blessed you get to hear all these jokes you get to hang out with the tim dylan who somehow his brain is man fuck man david tell these people where it's

just it's not that they're on it's that they're just hilarious but then there's something about that you just the ultimate trump card is just a natural person in their natural cadence and they know they're fucking funny too and they also knew that they were both funny together my father and his wife they both are like aware that there's four comedians. Tony's fucking loving this shit. He's dying drinking red wine after they just fed us. You know, he's also a fucking ridiculously unbelievable chef. Oh, so we just ate fucking everything.

Everything but a dad. I mean, everything but unbelievable. That's the way it ends. Everything but a dad. Oh, oh my god that's another part i keep every time you do that i keep picturing my mom's laugh watching this episode that's for you that's for you joy that's for you joy there's gonna be parts where she pauses this shit and literally rolls around the living room and then we'll crawl back to the fucking computer and laugh more um well i it's got to be a thrill for them to like you know those people you see them at the small town restaurant the corner bar whatever and they're just they're they're having their moment

for them to to light up four comedians like that oh god they probably never wanted at the end they were probably having the best fucking time they were they were and i i kept asking for more like you know dangerous stories and do you remember any other ones yeah i remember some there's a couple that i can't talk it's really bad a couple involved you know the the maybe someone, I don't know, maybe someone got hit with the butt end of a pistol. You know, little stories like that. The little, not bedtime stories, you know what I mean? But, you know, it's rough. It was rough happenings where I grew up.

Did he ever get robbed or anything like that at the restaurant? Or did they just not fuck with him? Oh, oh good lord no nobody could ever police never raided or no no no no no no no he's very very respected from everybody i mean he's like you know he was the italian fest man of the year even the news last week when he closed, it was news everywhere. All the channels. Damn, that sucks. So they're not even able to stay open with delivery? No. Fuck.

They're not doing it. And it's also like, that's the one place, and I post mates a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, like way too much. But it's one of those places where the food's so good

that delivery from there. They ruin it. Yeah, exactly. It's just not the same. The fucking noodles. You can't even. There's just no. It's not normal.

It's way beyond. And he's a complete perfectionist or else he wouldn't even have been the chef at his own restaurant, you know. And I can't remember. Did your mom ever remarry or. Yeah. And do you get along with him yeah he's cool yeah he's fun yeah he's he's he's more of a just a normal guy you know which is shocking to me that my mom could sort of do that but i don't know he must have like a big

wiener or something your mom's gonna love that has your dad ever come to see you with rogan or anything like that he's show on that scale what's funny is that he um i told him when we when i found out that i'm doing madison square garden with you yeah with rogan and diaz well we're scheduled for it we found out in december holy for october of this year and well congrats whenever it happens well hopefully it happens or else my dad's gonna be off the hook for another fucking live event that he didn't have to come to during my entire life yeah you're right he's like come on when are you going dad i went first ah first. Ah, we got here late. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I guarantee some bullshit like that will happen. We missed him.

We missed him. We missed him, but that guy was hilarious. But this guy here is great. He'll probably love Diaz. They probably have a lot of similar type stories. Oh, my God. I'm positive of it. I mean, that is it.

If you combine Diaz and Sebastian Maniscalco. That's your dad. There he is. And Tony Soprano. Picture that monster. Picture that monster. Diaz and Sebastian, but looks exactly like Chaz Palminteri and basically has the Tony Soprano lifestyle

if he also ran that Vesuvio restaurant and cooked in it. Yeah. That was in the Sopranos. That's literally my father. Crazy. Crazy. But wild and true. Well, I love that you're you've reconnected. So twice a year you talk, you go see it. Well, now you don't even have the restaurant to go to if you go back anymore so that's gone but and i told and i asked him last week because it was uh we just went through it or two weeks ago what is it yeah a few weeks ago talked to him on father's day about it actually no we had a third phone call because of that yeah because of the restaurant we talked last week yeah exactly it's still

hey all right talk to you in 50 weeks but i i'm like hey we gotta you know we're dead it it took me a while because like i was you know compressing this information of the restaurant being closed, which, you know, I've just been staring at from even across whatever, 15. Good God. Oh, oh, my God. Yeah. Almost two decades ago. Yeah. No. Yeah. I've been looking at it for over two decades. Yeah. Many, many way over two decades, in fact. fact anyway and it was just so much that i'm like and it was towards the end of the phone call where i'm like yeah we got to do something though i mean like i gotta eat your food yeah it's crazy it's crazy to think that i wouldn't be able to do that again but then of course i'm like oh yeah of course there's other kitchens. He still has his technique. What's interesting about that is I

have never had a meal made from him at a home. Only at the restaurant. I'm actually realizing this now. It was at the end of the phone call. How old are you? 36. You haven't had one meal prepared

in a home by him? Only at his restaurant? Nope. State of the art. Not state of by him, only at his restaurant? Nope. State of the art. I mean, not state of the art, but top of the line chef. Wow. Yeah. So when you go back now, it'll probably have to be a dinner at his home.

Yeah. But do you think that'll be just as good or better? It'll probably be better. I think so, too. Yeah, I think so, too. He'll make sure that everything will be even, probably even more fresh you know have you been to that home have you ever been in his home no no come on never not once never so hold on yeah

all this time went from reconnecting and even when he yeah so when he would visit you would he would only come to your mom's do the whole gift at the door your mom would do make him look like a hero yeah joy you're a saint yeah um yes she is all of that was him coming your way and then when you reconnected and you would go his way it was only to the restaurant exactly so the only granted he was barely ever at home during this time i mean he's at that restaurant yep 4 a.m making the dough to you know to fucking midnight 1 a.m drinking with the i mean he's not really a drinker but he would have a soda or whatever or wine while the drinkers are closing up the bar you know those are the bars connected to the restaurant and like you know and he was just the

you know never-ending host that's just how he operated is this the same house that you spotted from the bus i'm pretty sure you know the same house yeah now you've never been in sure what's that gonna feel like going in there that's gonna be weird is your buddy or his parents still live across the way that's a good question you gotta be knocking on all these doors yeah the neighborhood? Yeah, that's a good question, too. Hello? But yeah, I think so. That will be wild. I never even thought of that. This is me thinking of this stuff for the very first time.

Wild to think that I would get to go in that same house. Like, I remember exactly what it looks like, too. It's wild. When you see that house in your mind, do you see it from the moment you put it together and realize it or do you see it for what it is now? Like whenever you think back right now, you see it from the 10, 11-year-old kid.

From the school bus. Yeah, absolutely. I see it through school bus windows. You have to press the tops together to open them. Yeah, squeeze them and slide them down to open them dad dad what about me joey slaps joey slaps dude that is brutal wow they get the guy i had a friend of mine um i reconnected with my mom after like 30 years, which is just a couple of years ago.

And a friend of mine said, so after my father died, we were 16. We had to, we had to go move in with her. The state would give her a check because we were all minors and rarely did she stay, but there were times she certainly stayed there.

So my friend said to me, how long has it been since you slept under the same roof as your mom? And I was like, and it was one of those things where I had to like take a step back for a second, like, Holy shit, that's a great question.

And it had been since 18. I was like, it's, I don't know, 25, 20 some years since I've slept under the same roof as that person. It's fucking trippy to think that shit. Yeah.

It's crazy. I've never in my entire life ever slept under the same roof as my father never not not once not even an emergency or we'd take a naps together when i was a tiny little boy like he would come and he would you know fall asleep after eating spaghetti but he would leave you know what i mean it wasn't a nighttime thing. It's always daytime. And there's pictures of me crashed out on his chest as a little baby and stuff. But no, never in the same room. Did you just realize that right now?

I never even really, yeah, absolutely. Thought about that? Yeah, never really thought about it. All this stuff is really, it's interesting how our brains protect us. You're not lying about that. it reminds me of being in houston again you know working uh work in that comedy club just a couple weeks ago with rogan it was uh it was 30 45 seconds into the first set we had four shows two on friday two on saturday and 40 seconds in i realized like oh my god this is so much more fun

than i even remember it and i mean stand up in general yeah and i feel like our brain protects us sometimes like oh yeah that's your favorite thing but and it's cool yeah you're good it's great it's fun but it's like i mean getting that rush. During the pandemic, I think it really like. I haven't done stand up since whatever. I think one of my last shows was probably at the store. It's more fun than you remember. Early to mid-March. Is my point.

Because sometimes our brains, I feel like, protect us. It's just simple psychology. So no, I haven't thought about never sleeping under the same roof as my father. Or never being in his house. Never really thought about it. So here's a question then. You go over to his home for your first time ever. You walk through that door.

You sit down. You have a wonderful meal. Do you go to your mom's or do you stay over and sleep there just to break the cycle? You know what? I like that idea. Just to see what it's like. Just break the cycle. Yeah. Just to see what it's like. Just break the cycle. Yeah.

Just to see what it's like. Maybe try to wake him up, scare him in the middle of the night, see how hard he actually slaps after all. Find out if there's any truth to the story. All right. So I have more questions. Yeah. You and your wife, your personal business. Do you want to have kids at some point?

Is it one of those if it happens, it happens? Or are you you good the way you are i'm good the way i am right now because my question was going to be do you think he'd be a good grandfather because i yes or no i mean he probably is he a grandfather yet with any other kids i don't know i don't know so no uh i mean i think he'd be good when the baby's right in front of him yeah if you you put it right in front of him he'd be great i know that for a fact in fact my mom has reminded me that he's notoriously even with me he was really good when i was a baby and a little kid yeah he's one of those guys where it's like once they start growing up and start forming sentences. Yeah, exactly.

He's like, all right, it's too much. It's getting weird now. He's asking questions. He's asking shit now. Too many questions. What's without a spell and do math and shit? The fuck you asking all these questions for? But, yeah, and I think that is a thing.

I could see why he would freak out a little bit about that i could see why because he's a great guy we all we're all good people but it starts to get weird i feel like once you realize like i'm not gonna be the father that i should be so why would I want to torture myself by being around that a lot? Like I can sort of see as I get older what his mentality was. So what kind of father is he to his biological, well, you are a father. I mean to the kids he had with his, is it the same lady?

He's still married to that lady, right? No, different lady. Yeah. So how many more kids does he have? He has your sister he has two kids uh so three with the original wife that found me at her high school reunion oh that's the okay got it and even though they were separated at that time and i mean divorced uh at that period of time she was demanding that I meet his family because she was very close with this family and the two kids.

Uh, and the sister was excited to meet me, but the brother wasn't. And that's, what's interesting is that they, um, not the sister, but the brother,

I think has some um some real issue with the whole thing and i'm not exactly sure why but i think part of it is my dad was missing from some of their things sometimes to come and join me so i think they would go why why does dad have to leave during christmas for two hours every year because he would right yeah that's the whole package especially when i was a kid and again they're a little bit older than me so he would do that when i was one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven right in there right and at that point they're 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 like aware and noticing like dad no don't go or whatever um plus they had to deal with him being a workaholic so i think that they have um especially the boy has a bit of a pent-up um don't know. It's interesting. Still, I get the feeling he does.

And are you closer with your sister? I'm close with my four older brothers and sisters. Oh, from your mom. Right. Got it. Who say that my father was a better father to them than their father. Now, that's where things get really tricky. Tell me about that is my

mom and my dad i'm sure i mentioned this on the last show but they cheated on each other significant others for 11 years right so during that 11 years he was hanging out at my place at my mom's place a lot and this is before you're even around. Right. This is starting 11 years before I'm born. But my older brothers and sisters are. How old is the oldest sibling? Like 20 years older.

Oh wow. 12 years older than me is the closest one. And after he was born. That's when my mom. Like my. Their dad's drinking or whatever was so out of control that my mom like completely fell out of love with him or whatever it was. But so it's 12, 14, 16 and 18 years. Damn. They're older than me.

Oh, wait. 12, 14, 16, 18. Yeah. Something like that. Or maybe there's another two year gap in there between one of them. Oh, wait, 12, 14, 16, 18. Yeah, something like that. Or maybe there's another two year gap in there between one of them anyway, because my oldest sister is 20 years older than me. So I think it's 12, 14, 16, 20, something like that. Anyway, so for 11 years before I was born, they had him. I see.

So, you know. God, they knew yeah right so he really like was there for them a lot oh wow yeah so your dad was more of a dad to your other kids yeah your brothers and sisters than you yep yep this is the shit we laugh about holy fuck i just was with my brothers on the uh fourth of july and we laughed about it again comes up all the time yeah he's a great guy great guy to me it's sad that his restaurant's closing that guy was like a father to me it's not a shame he wasn't around for you it It's a shame the restaurant's closed. I'm telling you, I think this happens more than we know.

That kid, the 19-year-old, he's a fan of your show. He listens to it, right? I couldn't believe it. Did I come up during that? Is he listening to the Tony? I think I said to him that's a Tony Hinchcliffe story or something, and I tagged you in that post so he could see it too. His mind's going to be blown when he finds out about all this.

And his dad owns a restaurant. It's like the same type of shit. See, his story is sort of a tricky one too because it makes me wonder how he felt about his friends after that because it's sort of like... I asked. I was like, is it weird? Do you look at that?

He said, I've never had animosity. I've never I go. But you're literally the last one to know that feeling itself. Yeah. It's just a weird feeling, regardless of who who the people were that knew. And he said it wasn't that weird because he was already super close with them. And he's like, well, fuck it. Now we're brother and sister.

It's even better. So he's he's got a very that's cool. He's also only 19. Some troubles will hit him in his 20s, 30s, 40s. But right now, he's got a great... Once he has that first drink, it's that first shot of tequila. It's going to hit him like,

what the fuck? Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. He's going to go off on all of them. I can't trust any fucking schmucks. Man, I didn't know that part. So they knew him for, God, 11 years. I mean, that's a long time to have this dude come around and be a nice guy and shit. There's nothing like your brother telling you.

Your father taught me how to tie my shoes. but with but with that said what's sort of cool is that i'm just grateful everything happened the way that it did even though of course anybody would say that but like it was really cool getting to have four older brothers and sisters that age gap for so many reasons but like i got to learn everything from them you know i learned how to tie a tie when I was freaking six or whatever because I asked my or, you know, maybe younger or whatever. But, you know, they're all growing up and doing things. And and I got to go visit Ohio State University as a child. I mean, way, way beyond you know i get to ride my bicycle around ohio state's campus for a month out of every year because i would just go down there and visit my brothers and and sisters who were all

going there and uh you know i have all these cool memories from getting raised by older brothers and sisters as well for a month out of every year to give my mom a break and uh so it's cool your mama has five kids yeah that's a lot of fucking kids yeah damn yeah your mom's vagina must be gigantic good thing she's got that huge wienered uh husband keeping her ready that's what you need when you got a big vagina. Get yourself a big wiener. Fill her up. So do your brothers and sisters, they all still live in Ohio? No. No, they're all spread out. Well, the two sisters live in Ohio and both brothers live at the beach out here now. One in Venice, one here in Santa Monica.

Do you see him? Yeah. Oh, okay, good. Yeah, we've been hanging out a lot. The pandemic's been great for family bonding. July 4th, we all hung out. Yeah, it's been sort of like biweekly. Just random barbecues on the rooftop out there in Venice Beach.

Beautiful. Sun burnt like hell. Yeah, you look good, bro. You look good. Dude, you're the man. I mean, I love that i'm asking questions that are making you think about shit like that so now you got to go home for whenever you can and have dinner in the house which you could break two in one night right

yeah dinner and sleepover yeah you gotta come back for a part three when it happens i cannot wait there will be constant updates i can't wait if anything changes you will know you'll be the first to know thank you i'll make sure of it um promote whatever you want again please kill tony still happening and uh eventually you know we'll be back out on the road doing stand-up and everything and yeah that new patreon project uh the roast master class where we exclusively talk about making fun of people and each other and teach you how to do it better or learn it and study

old film and new film and roast battles and roasts and everything. So it's a lot of fun. That's at patreon.com slash Hinchcliffe. You can find everything at TonyHinchcliffe.com including the brand new merch store. You can get your Hinchcliffe.com, including the brand new merch store. Yeah.

You can get your Hinchcliffe Red Band 2020 t-shirt. There it is. Go vote, y'all. Thank you, brother. Thank you for coming on for real. Thank you so much. This is always incredible. Anytime. I love hanging with you and everything, always.

But to know how hard these podcasts make my mom laugh. It's almost like I it's almost like a, I look at it like a direct zoom for her and everything else is just collateral damage. That's great. Thank you, man. You're hilarious.

Thank you, dude. Um, please sign up for the YouTube channel, sign up for the Patreon, the honeydew with y'all and, uh, Ryan Sickler on all social media,

Ryan Sickler.com. We'll talk to y'all and uh ryan sick on all social media ryan sickler.com we'll talk to y'all next week