The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - YannisPappas - YannisDew

Episode Date: May 23, 2022

My HoneyDew this week is comedian, Yannis Pappas  (Longdays, Mom Love)  Yannis Highlights the Lowlights of his mother's twenty-year battle with Alzheimer's.  Check out Yannis' special, Mom Love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArlCFemEDvQ SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: Pair Eyewear -Get glasses as unique as you are. Go to https://www.PairEyewear.com/HONEYDEW for 15% off your first purchase Betterhelp - Get 10% off your first month at https://www.Betterhelp.com/HONEYDEW  Babbel -Save up to 60% off your subscription when you go to https://www.Babbel.com/HONEYDEW 

I can play football for the Irish, y'all. I can play football for the Irish. Catch me on tour tickets to all shows are available on my website at ryan sickler.com the honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pant Studios. I am Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. If you are watching on YouTube, thank you, first of all.

And make sure you hit that subscribe button. Hit it, lock it up, and then set yourself a little reminder, all right? It really helps out the show. And if you've got to have more, you've got to check out the Patreon. The Patreon is called The Honeydew With Y'all, all right? It's five bucks a month. If you sign up for a year, you get a month free and you're getting The Honeydew a day early ad free at no additional cost, all right? You get the audio feed, you get the video feed of the entire back catalog. I know a lot of you saw the episode I did with Josh Wolf where I showed them just like 10 of our favorite episodes. I promise you there are a ton more where those came from. And really, you guys like the reaction shows. I think we're going to do that once in a

while because I'm telling you these stories are wild. And every Thursday we've been releasing those episodes that we highlighted on the episode with Josh Wolfe on the regular YouTube channel. So this week will be the fourth episode. There will be six more. Maybe we'll throw in a bonus. We'll see. But you sign up to the YouTube, you'll definitely see it there. All right. My Night Pants Nation tour continues. Thank you all for your support. We have sold out at least a show or two in every city we've been to. So thank you so much for that.

Hollywood, I'll be at the Troubadour June 4th. Josh Wolf just added to that show. Des Moines, Iowa, June 24th, one night only. Omaha, June 25th, one night only. I'm back at the Brea Improv. June 30th, one night only. I'm bringing Jason Ellis on that one with me. All right, now you guys know what we do over here. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this storyteller back on the do, ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome back Yadis Papas.

Welcome back to the honeydew. Thank you, my friend good to be here back third time third time bro second time hey two for two for three the sequel's never as good as the original first one was amazing second one you know we went on a little too long about no we didn't no we didn't listen to me kov went on too long. I still can't smell and taste properly. Okay. And COVID can go fuck itself. We, it is hilariously, it's one of the most complained about episodes I've ever done.

The numbers didn't show that though, bro. The numbers didn't show that. It's what you call a good hate watch. Yeah, it was a good hate watch. A hate fuck. And I'll tell you, it was to me, the tale of two COVIDs. You're fucking almost dying. Your wife with a brand new child, I believe, is chasing after an ambulance.

And we're driving around fucking looking at lights and singing Christmas carols, dude. It's a great episode. Anybody that hated it could go fuck themselves. Maybe it'll get a cult following. Like, you know, you know how like The Honeymooners was a bomb when it aired and then later on, years later, it became a hit? That'll be our Honeymooners.

Well, I'm glad to have you back. It's good to have you here. Please plug, promote, whatever you'd like. Yeah, my podcast Long Days with Giannis Pappas. So check, promote, whatever you'd like. Yeah. My podcast, Long Days with Giannis Pappas. So check that out, please, on YouTube. Subscribe. And my special is still up there for free to watch on YouTube, blowing the light. I got a new special out now, right now. So go check that out. It's on YouTube. And that's it, man. And see me on tour. Yeah. Go to my website,

yannispappascomedy.com for tickets. That's about it. I'm always fresh with a new tragedy for you. So, you know. Unfortunately, you have one. I'm surprised this isn't anything small. Not that anyone's trauma is small, but this is, yeah, this is a matriarch.

Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, the first time I came i i don't know what we talked about we probably mentioned her dementia my mom had dementia for a long you got shot we talked about you being shot all that stuff too right um and i maybe think you talked about your mom having dementia and then second time was the covet episode only strictly code went all all the time did we mention did we mention my friend angelo passing a stomach cancer and my old manager getting murdered in his house i don't remember i mean i've done so many episodes i don't remember but hey it's okay to talk about it again it's therapy bro

you're allowed to talk about it again it's the honeydew, y'all. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, my mom just died finally. It was a long, protracted battle with advanced dementia, which is ugly. Ugly. How long? I'd say it really started in, like, her 70s. Oh, man. How old was she when she passed she was 90 20 years of that yeah it was a slow decline it started with like little post-it notes here and there and

you know it was i would say it's probably the thing that's affected me the most and yeah i've been shot and all but that was the thing that affected me my career the most it was kind of dealing with that. I've got a million questions to ask. Let's go back. Can we go back to the beginning of her dementia? You want to go back to COVID? December 2020.

The beginning of her dementia, like when does she start to realize it? Were you close enough with her to ask questions? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I lived there. When did she look at you and go, okay, something's different? Never. Never?

Never. That never – she never or she never admitted it? She never admitted it, and that was her personality. She was real prideful. So I think that made it even harder. Like, you know, she fought it all the way, and she's not a type of person who would admit any weakness or, you know. She just fought it.

And she would, like, post it note and deny it away. As what, reminders? Yeah, little reminders. I put a post-it note that says lunch in the fridge on my wallet every day for my daughter, bro. Now you got to be nervous. Might have to get a CAT scan. It's brutal because, like, it's a gene or something. Like they, when you do the 23andMe now, you can see if you're prone to certain stuff.

Is that right? I didn't know that. Yeah. I got to have to do it then, damn it. I'd rather know. You know, it's like, yeah, now with your DNA, they can see all the stuff that you have a chance of getting. Like, cause it's, it's tied to certain genes. And obviously lifestyle turns those genes on or off or sometimes it's bad luck or whatever.

But I'd rather know. I'm a guy who wants to know. If someone gave me the opportunity to know what day I'm going to die, I'd want to know. I'd make some different decisions. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I want to know. I just didn't know you could get all that information. So now that I know, I'm going to do it because I want to know, too.

I want to know all that shit. Honeydew, brought to you by 23andMe. Do you want to know when you're going to die? Where are you at, 23andMe? You want to know how you're going to die. That's two different websites, y'all. It's howyougongtodie.com and whenyougongtodie.com. Yeah.

When do you first see a change in your mom and how old are you at that time? Yeah. So the change started like around her 70th birthday. She was divorced from my dad. She was living alone in the house that I grew up in, which is like a brick town house in Brooklyn. And it's kind of like, you know, everyone's gone. It's just her there. And so it started around then. And I was living in an apartment like, you know, close by. So I lived there for eight years, like kind of like six blocks away. And, you know, she would call and, you know,

she would, it was, it started with like, I thought it was like, she's just lonely. She wants me to do certain things. I want to go take, I want you to come with me grocery shopping and stuff like that. And so the behavior was like a little weird. It was like a little,

I think her lifestyle probably didn't help it. You know what I mean? She was inactive and slowly she just started spending more time in just her bedroom, little by little. Any pets? No pets. No pets.

No pets. And pets. No pets. And at one point me and my ex-girlfriend, Jessie May, lived there with her while she was like declining. Oh, really? Yeah, there was times that we would, and we had three dogs together. We had like a pit bull, this other dog,

which is like a Portuguese pedango, I think they call them. And she was like a mix. And then her little chihuahua. And my mother would like, like we'd leave or something. And my mother would like walk the dogs with like the leash on wrong. And somehow it, you know, and those are big dogs.

And she's like a tiny elderly woman with dementia. And she would forget if she walked the dogs. It became like a thing. It became to the point where like when I was living there and Jessie Mae was living there with me at the home and I was there kind of, you know, partly because of that, mainly because of that, she would just keep coming in.

She would keep knocking on the door and coming in. It was things like that, like to check if I was there because she forgot I was there. That quickly? That quickly. It started to really progress. She'd leave the stove on and leave like eggs burning. She'd burn all these pots.

So that's where it starts to get dangerous. Right. Yeah. And then she had a tenant. So I just kind of became like the de facto landlord, but she would start fights with the tenant. And it was real difficult. It was very difficult.

It went from there and it progressively gets worse. That's why it's so, it was very difficult it got it went from there and it progressively gets worse that's why it's so it's like chinese water torture the whole thing um because she was managing the way she managed especially the prideful woman that she was but it was a dangerous situation there's tenants upstairs with kids she could burn down the house so i was living under herself anything kill. So I was constantly living these past 10, 15 years just with this fear. When I went to Miami, I took a TV job in Miami in 2013. Me and my brother got a woman in there who would spend the day with her, but she would leave at night. And so my mother was there at night. And at that point, 2013, she never called me.

We didn't speak hardly ever. She kind of forgot that I was my number. That's when she forgot my number, didn't know where I was and wasn't remembering to call. That was the beginning of when it really started to kick in about 2013. And when you would call, would she recognize who you were yeah she would but she would forget and might call me again and forget we just spoke okay so it was that there she didn't forget who i was and that's a weird feeling but all the time no she did she forgot who i was around uh 2015 16, when we finally were able to move her to a location.

Getting, moving her was a nightmare. You know, she didn't want to go. She'd fought it tooth and nail. She did. Yeah. And we had to like renovate the house around her in her room because we had to like rent the houses out to pay for it. To pay, because you know, the public facilities,

dude, the Alzheimer's floors in those public facilities in New York are, you realize, you're like, yeah, anyone who's against free healthcare, I'm not, you know, universal healthcare, I get it, nothing's free. Once you, once it, everyone's against universal healthcare until they fucking need it. You know what I mean?

You know, it's like everyone's, it's all selfish. Everyone's liberal until they get rich. And they're like, all right, now I'm a Republican. Same thing with healthcare. It's like, everyone is like, oh, I don't want that socialism until you need it. And- We ain't getting free vaccines.

Yeah. We ain't getting free vaccines. Yeah. And we just underfund that stuff. And those facilities are just brutal so you you want to get her in you know to a place that's uh that's good and you have to pay for that did she fight it because she didn't want to go or did she fight it because she knew there's there's no one's going to take care of me in there well she didn't want to go she She didn't want to go. She was a prideful woman.

Doesn't want to leave her house. Like old people. They don't, it's that problem. I think a lot of people have with old people. They don't want to change. They don't want to be in another environment. They want to stay at home.

They rationalize everything away. It's, I just know there's people out there who are dealing with this, dealing with a parent with Alzheimer's. It is, the brutality of it is hard to describe. And like, if anyone's listening, who's going through it, they, I know what you're going through.

It's, there's no solutions. There's no way to fix it. There's no way to not worry. There's nothing that's going to help. You're completely overwhelmed. And it affects your life in one of the hugest ways outside of having something wrong with you, like a major illness that is imaginable. 20 years was not a number I thought you were going to say. Yeah, that's what it was.

That's a long time. From 70 to 90 is really when it started. And then it kicked in. It got progressively worse until where it was where she had no idea who I was. I've heard about these communities. I don't know if they're – look, I know nothing. I've heard of things. Okay?

They float my way, and I probably retain about 25% of that, which is probably 10. My numbers are inflated. Sounds like a true pothead. My numbers are inflated. But I've heard of these communities where they can put patients with dementia and they're like a very structured area. So they can walk to the store and they go in and the people that work there know they're coming in, they're helping them with things like that so they can still feel like they're doing something and help maybe empower them. I don't know how many of them there are out there, but it doesn't seem like there's a

lot of them. No, I wish there were more. That's amazing. The people who do those types of jobs, like I have the utmost respect for. I got a special needs brother. My mother had dementia for as long as we've mentioned. My dad had cancer and he passed away. He was 91. So he had a great life other than that. But the people I've been around that recently so much, nurses and caseworkers and people who do that, it's just, it's another level of human being. Like, it's just, those are the people

that hold this whole thing up, man. And they get no credit while we're sitting there worshiping like some actor. It's like, those are the people who are valuable. Those are the people who- Amen. When you need, when you really are down, those are the people who are valuable. Those are the people who- Amen. When you need, when you really are down, those are the people, the patience they have

and the job they do is invaluable to you when you need it and to our society. And I just have the utmost respect for what they do because I've watched it and they've taken care of my loved ones. And it's just, it's beyond, I am beyond grateful for them. Because when you have a family member, your mother or whoever, your father, your grandmother, your grandfather who has Alzheimer's, you can't take care of it. And that's another thing that hurts you.

You can't help. You can try, but you need a professional. Then you have guilt. You have guilt. Then you have guilt about not seeing your mom when she's in the place, even though she doesn't remember you. And it's painful Then you have guilt. You have guilt. Then you have guilt about not seeing your mom when she's in the place, even though she doesn't remember you and it's painful for you to go.

So it's just, it's a world of shit. And the only people who know how hard it is are those going through it. And so it's just, there needs to be like groups where people can talk about, just to feel like someone else can relate to what they're going through. Because I know it.

I know exactly what you're going. Like anyone who's listening to this is going through it. I know exactly what you're going. I know exactly what it is. I know how helpless you feel. I know how overwhelmed you feel. I know how guilty you feel. I know how sad and angry you

feel. Then you get angry. You get in denial, right? Because like your mother's being difficult. And then you're like, you don't know if it's real. You don't know if she's, you know, and then if she's resisting, that's a whole nother level of frustration. And there's nothing that has affected me more than that. And it hurts your career. It hurts your relationships. You get angry. Your patience is gone because you're dealing with something that's overwhelming. It got to the point, and this is the hardest point for me, was I'd be doing standup and I'm feeling this one. I'd be doing standup and there's something that happens when you have Alzheimer's called sundowning. So at night, the Alzheimer's gets worse for some reason.

And that's why they call it sundowning. So everyone who has advanced dementia, Alzheimer's or any type of dementia, sundowning, when the sun goes down, they get more confused and they just lose it. They don't know where they are and they start panicking. So when my mother started sundowning, I would be, you know, I work at night.

So isn't that a great combination you know so that's when i go to work is when she would be at her worst so she would uh call my phone and and say like uh you know i'm i'm trapped i may even have a message on there still because i just kept it because it's the last time i really heard her talking to me and um you know i'm trapped in this building you got to get me out of here. She didn't know where she was. She was at home in a room. She's like, I'm trapped. You got to get me out of here. And I would have to go on stage and she would keep calling with the same, with the same message. She'd be saying the same thing over and over. So it would just be like 20 calls in a row so i'm on stage telling jokes and i just feel my

phone vibrating over and over again and i know what it is i know she's panicked i know she's in a frantic state um here's my and she's alone does she not remember that she's called and left that message she does not remember that's why you're getting 20 calls she has no and it's coming in quick too because her memories that that gone and it's the same message it's the same word for word word for word it's the same almost like pre-recorded pre-recorded the same message whoa dude yeah yeah and that's what's going on in your i'm telling jokes so you're on stage entertaining an audience and there's a whole nother world going on inside yeah i'm telling jokes so you're on stage entertaining an audience and there's a whole another world going on inside yeah i'm just trying that poor lady is trapped and i'm trying to part the mental lies and like be funny and like cheer these people up when like i need cheering up you know it was really it was a that's where the that was towards the end and then at that

point like and me and my brother it causes strain your, me and my brother would fight a lot. It really- This is your only brother? I have one brain injured brother. And then my brother, who was the one, me and him primarily dealt with all this for so long. And so my brain injured brother obviously would do it. You just say brain injured brother, like it's, like everybody's got one, you know what I mean? Yeah, he, I don't know if I talked about it on the first one. I can't remember because I have brain injuries.

Yeah, I think we talked about it. Right. Recently, I've been thinking about how great his life is. Dude, he just has a van that picks him up everywhere. Imagine living a life where you're just like, there's just a van and all your friends are in it all the time. And you're not going to like pay your taxes or do anything. You're going bowling. His life is great.

He's got a girlfriend. He cheated on her. He lives a great life. For real? Yeah. How old is he? He's 56 now. Was he born this way or did something happen?

I think we talked about the first one, but if we didn't, it's tragic. Yeah, if we did, I don't remember either, but the doctor used forceps on the birth and squeezed his head. I do think you did talk about that. Yeah, I think I might have, yeah. Yeah. If you didn't like the second episode, the first one was incredible.

That was a great one. Number one was incredible. It was a great episode. Listen, I stand by two. Yeah. I stand by too yeah i stand by too it's a time stamp god damn it someday people are gonna go back and be like look how it affected different people it was all new man we're only a few months into that we were people so mad about it my god you know maybe that's what it was like i i had just had covid when it was like yeah me too that's why i was like what are we gonna talk about i was like you just had it you're telling me about you're dying i was like i just had it we were fucking having a great we're

watching movies and shit yeah i was envious i was like damn that he had a great time it's like when you have a friend and one person likes him and the other person has a bad experience. I think he's an extra. You're like, ah, you don't know him, man. He's actually pretty great. Cove, it's a cool dude. Okay, I want to go back to this. So that's going on in your pocket while you're dealing with that. It gets worse at night,

which is something I... Sundowning, yeah. Alright, tell me about your mom. Before 70, how old was your mom before 70. How old was your mom when she had you? She was 43 or 44, I believe. A little older. A little older.

Especially back then, right? All right. Are you the youngest? By a lot, yeah. Okay, by a lot. What's the next age? 10. And then 17.

All same dad? All same dad. Okay. So what happened? They were divorced. So what? They got divorced. Say what? They got divorced. Say again?

Were you just an oops? They got together? I don't know what I was. Yeah, like my mom had a couple miscarriages before me. Yeah, I think I was a little bit of an oops. Or maybe my mom wanted me. They never really told me. Yeah, I think my dad- She clearly wanted you.

Yeah, I think my dad once was too honest. And he was like, you know, your mom's think my dad really wanted you yeah i think my dad once was too honest and he was like you know your mom's the one that really wanted you really right because their relationship wasn't great and i think he wanted out and then why'd he leave it in? Yeah. All these motherfucking dudes want out, but they can't stop leaving it in. They're leaving it in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if you want out, just pull out.

Seriously, that is all you got to do, man. I wouldn't be that upset if I wasn't here. I wouldn't know. Exactly. So tell me about your mom. What did your mom do? Where's she come from? What's her life like?

Yeah, she's got a very interesting life. My mother was born on the island of Crete, Greece during World War II. Wow, all right. So when she was little- So can you tell me her full proper name, her maiden name and everything, full name? Anna Mamelakis Pappas. Wow. All right. Okay. Anna Elaine Mamelakis Pappas.

And so she was born in Crete. Then World War II happened. And then the Nazis invaded Greece. And the Battle of Crete is one of the most famous battles in World War II. It was the first time that the Germans did an aerial invasion, meaning they used paratroopers. It was the first time any invasion had ever happened in the history of the world by air. I didn't know that.

Yeah. So the Battle of Crete. The Battle of Crete is so important because, and she was there for this. That's why it's relevant. The Battle of Crete was important because a lot of historians believe it was important because it actually took the Germans 10 days to take the island.

To put that in context, they took France in like a couple of days, the whole country of France with millions and millions and millions of people. The island of Crete is an island and the Greeks fought like crazy. Like she lost all her relatives were killed. There was New Zealand troops, British troops there

who had retreated off the mainland and fought hard. And so it's important because a lot of historians believe Hitler had to refocus and like had to really took a lot of historians believe Hitler had to refocus and like had to really took a lot of time to take Greece and Crete and that postponed his invasion. What was it? What was it? Whatever it was called to Russia, to the winter.

And that's when he marched into the winter. And so in retrospect, the fight that the Greeks put up, some historians credit that fight with sort of aligning with fate so that he invaded Russia in the winter. And then that's where he started losing. They froze and shit. You can't invade Russia. It was the same as taking Poland.

So they famously fought very valiant, like the villagers fought and the Germans were brutal. And like there was, you know, villagers with pitchforks, just like, oh, like fighting with pitchforks as the Nazis came down, just making shish kabobs out of them. And so then they occupied for four years after they took the island, they occupied.

So my mother lived under Nazi occupation for four years. She saw horrible things. She would recount this story of like a New Zealand or Australian POW being marched through the village or the town of Rathamnone. And she remembered once as a little girl, one of them reaching for a fruit because they were like so thirsty or hungry,

like past the market and a Nazi soldier beat that POW to death with the butt of his gun. And my mother saw that and she would, every time she would tell that story, she would cry. My mother ended up becoming a human rights lawyer um wow yeah so she came to america um at a time where you know this is she's the same age as ruth bader ginsburg so at that age at that place in history that time there was like virtually no women going to law school she she was one of four in her entire law school at brooklyn your mom's a pioneer yeah

she was of that generation so she became a human rights lawyer ended up doing uh international rights for children work you know headed up a project called um uh unitar it was unitar it was the uh the what was it called the law and status of the child is a big contribution to like international law for children that she did. She argued a case in front of Supreme Court, the United States Supreme Court. It was written, but it was a case. And she had four law degrees.

She was a very proud, smart woman who ended up doing some good in the world with her advocacy for children specifically. And she helped my father in his law practice. They were both lawyers. And so if you don't want to get a divorce, don't work with your spouse. That's just like too much. I mean, I guess it works in Tom's case, but other people's case- It's rare as fuck. It's rare yeah so this is a brilliant mind that i mean if we're pulling out the human element to it this is a brilliant machine that's you're watching now

go kaput over 20 years brilliant in some areas and others yeah right right yeah but yeah i mean she was an accomplished person and that was important to her. And yeah. Yeah. And watching it just kind of, yeah, decompensate slowly. Rough. Was she able to retire from work before the- Yeah. Is it a disease?

Is it a disease? It's a disease. Yeah. It's a disease in the brain. Took her? Yeah. Yeah. She was able to retire on her own.

She was done at like 65, I think. So you got to enjoy a few years of life before it really started to mess with her? Yeah. Her and my father had a real bad divorce in her early 60s. I don't know why you get divorced at that point. Oh, wow. In their 60s. Yeah.

And why is it ugly? At that point, you'd be like, thank God. Will you just sign here? Oh yeah, no problem. You can sign my name. It was actually very ugly.

In the 60s? Why? I don't, my mother is a fighter. So it's like, that's her personality. Like when she had something to fight, she's the,

she's best when she has like something to fight. If she doesn't, she'll fight me. She'll fight him. She'll fight. She's a fighter. has like something to fight. If she doesn't, she'll fight me. She'll fight him. She'll fight. She's a fighter. She was a fighter.

I don't know if she was molded that way because I'm sure that informed who she was growing up in an occupied, you know, a Nazi occupied country. That's gotta leave a mark. That's gonna leave, that's gonna affect you. And you're gonna be traumatized. And she was young.

So she was, she lived during that. She was like six, seven, eight. It was a very formative years. And maybe that informed who she became like a human rights lawyer, you know, maybe that was part of it, you know, the injustice of that and having to live under military rule. And, you know, I'm sure that had something to do with it. And yeah, I mean, she used her mind a lot. And then it started failing her like it does for so many people. And it's slow. It's slow. It's like Chinese water torture.

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What it actually is, it's hard to believe when you're dealing with it. At first, when she's like, when something happens, you don't think anything's wrong. You know, like everyone forgets something here or there, you know? And like, you know, my mother would guilt trip me a lot. So I thought maybe it was like, she was guilt tripping me or you're in, I was in denial about it. I didn't deal with it well for a while. I'd get angry at her. Cause I felt like she was doing it for attention or whatever. And I have guilt about that. I have a lot of guilt. It's a very confusing thing because it happens so gradually.

At the beginning, you brush it off. So I think maybe that's what surprised me most about it is just how hard it is to detect at first or to believe or how it creeps up on you. It's not like, oh, I have cancer or like, you know, it's just like a very progressive, it's a progressive disease that consumes more and more and more and more. So I would say that, yeah, just like not believing it at first was the most surprising thing about it and how it progresses is kind of surprising too how it goes from like i said a

post-it note here to not know my mother didn't know who i was she died uh about a couple weeks ago whoa yeah yeah yeah she died uh two two weeks ago she just passed she just passed oh man yeah yeah i'm sorry, dude. I didn't know you were coming here fresh on that, bro. Fresh, baby. I came fresh off of COVID. I'm coming fresh. I'm like, I got it.

That's how we do it now. That's what comics do. They go- From COVID to coffin. When I have something horrible happen, which podcast can I go directly to to talk about it? When the scar is fresh oh man I'm sorry thank you man

yeah it was it was two weeks ago and I also we're coming off of COVID so she was in a nursing home and so I didn't see her for two years

so I also didn't see her oh man yeah so and then I finally went let me hold on for and then I finally went, let me hold on for a second. I finally went and I have a daughter now who's a year and a half

and she looks a lot like my mom. She does. She looks terribly, it's like scary. And so all I could do, we didn't bring my daughter because COVID or whatever. And the last time I saw my mom, she was out of it. Like I have videos, she's just staring off. And she's like at the beginning of dying.

She's still in the wheelchair at that point. So we just roll her around. You know, she was at the point where they would feed her. You know, they'd have to feed her. She couldn't remember to chew and it would be like soft foods. You can't remember to chew? Can't remember to chew. It starts to affect you like that where you're just done your vegetable my mom was close to a vegetable

oh yeah and it's rough remember to chew so then ultimately do we if you have that disease do you not remember to breathe is that what actually takes you out it can start happening yeah that i don't i i assume that can happen i don't know but that's like invol Wow. I don't know, but that's like involuntary. I don't know. Right. Right, so I don't know. No, I think you maybe still breathe, but I don't know. That's a good question. But definitely the chew. She didn't know how to chew, so they would like force her to chew or they'd do things.

Those floors, they're always locked off because they don't want them to wander. So there's codes for the elevators and stuff. Those floors, they're always locked off because they don't want them to wander. So there's codes for the elevators and stuff. And those floors are tough. That's a tough site to go into. And I have guilt, but there's a lot of me also that just didn't want to see it. I know she doesn't remember me anymore. And it's like, I mean, COVID, it was kind of a little bit of an excuse. I could have gone there and masked and stuff.

But part of when you your mother gets to that point like when she died i wasn't that upset because she was a kind of already gone for me it's like you you almost celebrate the death because you don't want to watch anyone live like that because it's so brutal to watch right and so uh it was a little bit of a relief like it's over like she's she has no quality of life and um so you have a little bit of a relief, like it's over. Like she has no quality of life. And so you have a little guilt about that. And it's just a lot of real confusing emotions that you go through and dealing with it. And it's one of the worst things.

There's no way to sugarcoat how torturous and brutal it is. And I think the only comfort you can get is talking to somebody else who's going through it. Or I know there's someone here in this who's going through it going like, they know exactly what I'm talking about. And it probably feels very good to hear that they're not alone.

And that's important to know. You're not alone. Somebody knows what you're going through. Cause I felt so alone. It's very rare you have someone else who you meet who's gone through it or knows someone who's gone through it or you can talk to or hear about it. It's just, you know, it's just comforting to hear that.

Oh yeah, I'm not alone in that struggle. Do you, do you remember the first time she didn't remember you? I don't know. I don't, I probably blocked it out. Yeah. And when she didn't remember you i don't know i don't i probably blacked it out yeah and when she doesn't remember you does she misremember you like yes misremember but are you are you joe the butcher or something you see what i'm saying or are you all okay a relative but always the same person or never yeah just like always like always someone different. At one phase, it was like I'm a relative. And then she was so prideful, my mother, I think she would pretend to know who I was. Even at that point.

Would you give it to her? Would you help her? Yeah. Would you make her earn it? No. No. Getting close. Getting warmer.

Give me one more guess. I came out of your vagina. That would be hilarious. That would be a hilarious game show. That would be a hilarious game show. You just, all the contestants have advanced dementia, and you're like, okay, welcome to Is That My Son? Welcome to Who Am I?

And it's just people with dementia and former football players with CET. Former football players. Or we can do a show on VH1. Instead of Where Are They Now, you can do Where Am I Now? Welcome to Where Am I Now with Wes Walker. Oh, God. Wes Walker and my mom. Okay, so it's always a random relative, but she could feel the, at least get that, like you were family somehow?

I think so. Okay. I think so, yeah. Yeah. Was there anything that she did remember all the way through? A TV show, anything that, you know what I mean? Like a favorite book or nothing. It was nothing.

God, your whole memory goes. There's nothing. The whole memory goes. And she was a very, and usually a lot of times those people get very mean. Is that right? Yeah. That's why I have, now that I've been around old folks home so much, it's kind of like a joke,

but it's kind of true. Like you can't really judge if someone's a good person or not when they're younger because we have so many things going for us. You know, it's easy to be a good person if you're John Stamos. What does he got to be upset about? about you know it's like he's given everything good looking talented smart it's like justin timberlake if he was a dick you'd be like come

on guy what are you a dick about right what are you bitter about when someone's either sick or older and they lose they're vulnerable and they lose all their powers they're not beautiful anymore nobody wants to fuck them anymore if they're still nice then then they truly were a good soul you know because a lot of people you like you meet him when they're young he's a good guy and then you see his later he's fucking calling everyone the n-word and because dude i mean old people the racism is nuts i heard about yeah it. Yeah, it all comes out. And these people still take care of them. They still take care of them. That's why these people are such beautiful people. They still, after getting like berated, berated,

and called the most awful things, they still do it. And my respect is just, it's crazy. But yeah, that's how you just can't, you don't know if someone's good until you see them later and I knew she was a bitch yeah she was hiding it oh yeah I told you I always knew

my mom actually was nice she was a little tougher when she like had her faculty she was a fighter like I said and she was like nice the staff was like she was pleasant she was quiet

and you know because my mother was a very anxious overthinking person and I think there was part of it part of of the silver lining, I guess, is like, she didn't remember what she was stressed about, you know? Yeah. It's like there's a silver lining in everything, you know? I mean, man, what, um, what age do you have to take your keys away?

Oh man. Yeah. It was 2016. So 2016 was when like those calls were happening every night. And I said to my brother, I'm like, and me and him, it affected our relationship. And anyone who's listening, it's like, just, it's hard.

Cause you guys are gonna go at each other's throats, your siblings, and you're gonna feel like I'm doing more than you're doing. One of you is gonna feel burdened. The one who's there is gonna feel burdened and it's not fair. I'm doing more than you're doing. One of you is going to feel burdened. The one who's there is going to feel burdened and it's not fair. I'm doing all this. I'm shouldering all this. So my brother didn't live, he lives in DC.

So I was shouldering a lot of the day to day. He did a lot of other stuff that maybe in retrospect, I didn't appreciate because I was dealing with the, I was a soldier on the ground, so to speak. He was doing a lot of the arrange soldier on the ground, so to speak. He was doing a lot of the, arranged all the stuff she messed up. Parachuting in, bro. He was parachuting in and parachuting out.

He was parachuting in. And if I had a pitchfork, I would fucking, I would stick, we really fought a lot and it really hurt our relationship. And you don't realize it till later, like, oh, this was all because of this. It was because we were stressed out dealing with this. Anyone would be short with one another.

It's almost impossible to not start to resent the person for this, that, the other thing, because you're just constantly under stress. So it was 2016 when it was like, I was like, I can't, we can't do this anymore. She needs. Were you able to take the keys before there were accidents or we have a couple of sides? There was, dude, there was accidents, man.

Like the dog, like when Jesse May was there with me, it was the dog. Like, I don't know how she didn't get like just yanked. She would put the leash on backwards and like a 55 pound pit bull. Somehow nothing bad happened. She would leave groceries outside. The stove was huge. The stove thing, she would cook eggs, and then I'd come over, and the stove had obviously been on for hours, gas stove, because the eggs were evaporating.

It was just burnt at the bottom of the pot. I mean, specifically any car accidents, were you able to take her keys before? She didn't drive. Thank God. So she didn't drive and she wandered once or twice and a neighbor brought her back.

It's so brutal. Now I'm remembering the, the brutality of it. Like everyone on the block started to know she would walk around in her robe she'd go outside you know it was just uh oh god and then this part oh man this is this is another yeah oh this is she would donate to charities over and over again and they don't stop oh no yeah i mean she's this would be is there not a law to fucking prevent there is praying on people like that they do they do because when you give they keep sending

because you're giving so i don't know how they must know on some level or a little bit or you know so it was like by the time we caught wind of that man i caught wind of it i was the one on the ground and that was another thing the frustrating thing my i knew it was like, by the time we caught wind of that, man, I caught wind of it. I was the one on the ground. And that was another thing, the frustrating thing. I knew it was bad. My brother would always, because my mother was so good at hiding it and being prideful that he would be like, it's not that bad and thought I was being dramatic

because we weren't getting along. But it got to the point where I discovered, I mean, we're talking about like maybe $30,000 to $60,000 just gone. No. Yeah, she was giving $100 over and over and over again. Dude, the numbers you're throwing, the 20 years I didn't expect. No exaggeration. $30,000 to $60,000.

No exaggeration. Yeah. This isn't fucking L.A. shit. This is New York. Wow. And you can't go after these people i guess not because they're doing it they're sending the money she said they're sending the money and each time she's probably forgetting totally it's probably her first time donation every time totally for

her and i'm sure that happens a lot wow i have never thought of something like i know it happens a lot it probably happens with like people selling the house there was somebody stopped by wanted to buy the house so you're living under this constant fear of like is she gonna fucking sell the house right yeah um it's uh yeah i think that almost came close to happening once if i'm i there's so much you block out because it's it's a constant 24 hour a day worry somewhere in your brain. It's somewhere you have to live your life knowing that, you know, when she got into that Alzheimer's floor, shout out to Atria, it was like knowing that other people,

professionals were watching her and it was a great place. And we figured out all the, that's another thing, is all the fucking stuff you got to figure out. You got to get everything out of your name to be eligible for Medicaid to pay for it. You got to get everything out of her name so she has no assets because it'll take all that to pay. If you have someone with Alzheimer's, go talk to an elder care lawyer now. Figure it all out. You got to get all those ducks.

That's great advice. I didn't even know that existed. You got to do that. You should do that if you have a kid lawyers for the elder care do it now like if me and you have kids like set that shit up now you can do that now you can fucking do that you so you know about like your will all that stuff is all kind of just like taken care of and like there's no issues because with um for medicaid to for it, you need a five-year period where she doesn't have assets. It's called a five-year look-back period. So in that five years, she can't have any assets because then they won't pay.

They'll take that shit first. Yeah, they'll take it all. And my brother was doing a lot of that, and I'm grateful that he did because that's a fucking mess. You got lawyers. And, of course, my mother made her will while her dementia started, so because that's a fucking mess. You got to get lawyers. And of course, my mother made her will while her dementia started. So her will was a fucking mess. Her will was like, she put it in a trust and made herself the trustee, which is like a nightmare. It's hard to explain, but it's a nightmare.

We had to undo that, trick her to sign. She was holding on everything. So I had to take her checkbook. She got mad about taking her checkbook. She said she wasn't doing that. I was trying to show her proof, a lot of anger, a lot of fights. And cause when you're in it, you don't go, oh, she doesn't know any better. You get frustrated cause you're trying to stop this tragic thing from happening and she's preventing it. So we're all human. And I got mad at her. I would get mad at my mother.

It would be like, I'd get angry and feel anger towards her and like throw things and, you know, throw things in the wall. Cause it's frustrating. Like she's destroying everything and you can't stop it. And then you also can't help her cause she won't let you help her. So it's like, you just feel helpless and overwhelmed.

So when we were able to get her in, we tricked her into it. And that's the way you do do it the way you do it is you drive her there right like we did a few where they interview her and she was just nasty to them like i'm fine they would ask questions who's the president they like interview her um but would she know any of that she would know a few of them at that point 2016 she still could fake it a little bit but then he would get her on a few and she'd get angry and really like really like uh you know uh i can't find the word but in uh whatever it is she would just be defensive and get angry and it was hard so we had to trick her into it we had to renovate the house around. So she was in her room and we would like renovate.

And then it got to the point where we had to put a baby gate on the stairs because she could fall down the stairs. So food was brought up to her. We had somebody coming in. We didn't say she was a nurse. You'd have to say this is a friend. Like it was this whole thing.

And then this guy's renovating this house. How'd you trick her into going in we just drove her there what you do is you drive her there show her introduce you don't tell her what it is you pack everything get her you know you don't you pack things and and dementia and then you leave it's all so sick and twisted and sad that they're walking into a building and i'm sure has the fucking name right on it and shit. Atria residence. I mean, yeah, man.

So you just leave. So what you do is you just, and they're used to it. That's how, that's like the best way to do it. It's like preschool, bro. You drop them off, watch them cry and you bow. Like, I love you. Dude, it's so weird how circular it is. It's like, she did that for me and I had to do that for her.

She took care of me, and then I had to take care of her. It's crazy. George Carlin's got a great bit about how we should age in reverse, how we should start old and be able to grow young. I know that bit. It's so funny. Yeah, it's true. And you're like, wow.

It's so fucking true. It's so true. It's a great joke. It is. So you go there and then you get on the floor and then you're like, oh, we're just going to have a snack or whatever. They distract her. And then we just leave without saying goodbye. What's that like?

As in we, you and your brother went together? Yeah, me and my brother did it together. It was hard. That was hard. It was hard because you don't know who these people are. You know she's going to be scared and confused. And they just tell you like, we're professional. We're used to it.

We know how to redirect them. And now they're dealing with that. Her not knowing where she is. And so there's a little bit of a relief because I know she's with professionals. Right, so now the house isn't going to be burned down and things like that, but it's not a full relief because now you got a new stress

of what the fuck's happening inside that building. Yeah, and let me just say this. It's important and I will admit it. And this is what's hard for people. I'm stressing out. Yeah, and this is the thing, is it's hard for people to admit, because you feel bad,

you feel like a piece of shit for it, is that you feel good. The burden's no longer yours. And you're guilty about feeling good for a second. The guilt is real. The guilt is real. And it's more than a second. It's more than a second.

It's like a really good feeling that you don't have to shoulder that anymore. And the guilt is real. Because look, you're leaving your mom with strangers. You're not taking care of her. You're not there to know they could be abusing her. You don't know what's happening. You know, and you know she's not happy and upset

and gonna be scared. But there's also this feeling of, a selfish feeling of now my life will be a little easier. And that feeling is tough. It's easier to talk about now, but at the time it tears you apart. It rips, absolutely rips you apart. It rips you apart.

So that brings on a whole nother issue. And that issue is guilt. And you feel that every day, I would feel a little bit every day that I wouldn't see her and I wouldn't go. Who knows what she could be getting hit. And then your imagination goes to the worst places. The worst.

Because those people, I know I got angry dealing with her and I'm her kid and I got to that limit. Imagine being a stranger and having to deal with her and who knows, oftentimes you hear horror stories that happen in those situations. So it's rough. It just takes a toll on you. And there was one weekend, I don't know if I talked about it.

Did I talk about when I got carted out on a stretcher? For what? We didn't talk about that. I don't know. Who knows? It was two episodes ago. At the Comedy Connection in Rhode Island. I just-

Panic attack or something? Yeah, I felt like I was going to pass out and then they ended up taking me out of the club on a stretcher. Which is, when there's nothing wrong with you and you're carted out on a stretcher, it's really funny. Dude, sold out crowd.

Give it a thumbs up. Yeah, I did actually because you know how embarrassing it is too? Like I'm on the stretcher, they're carting me out. The audience stood up and they were giving me like an ovation. Like I'm on the stretch, they're carving me out. The audience stood up and they were giving me like an ovation. Like I was an athlete. Like I was an NFL player who got up. One guy handed me like a religious card. It was...

You know, and it was like, this is what. He's throwing out cars like hippie hippie knees about. Yeah, like hippie knee jeez. You know, this was, and we had sold, we were selling, me and Chris had started History Hyenas and we had fans. I sold, there was fans there and they canceled the whole weekend. This was the first show. No, it wasn't even. I was on stage 30 seconds

and it hit me. I went up there 30 seconds and I was like, holy fuck. And it was just like... Did you drop? I didn't drop, but I got off stage because I knew I was going to drop. So I said, at first I was like, I need a chicken finger or something because I thought my blood sugar was low or whatever because I didn't eat.

And then I got a chicken finger and it wasn't going away. And then I just was like, I got to get off. And so the host came back on, and the host and the feature alternated doing time while I was in the back, like, drinking water, trying to make it go away. And then finally, one of the owners at Comedy Connection was like, should I call an ambulance? And I was like, I didn't want to. I was trying to fight it, but I was like, I think so,

because, like, when you're in a panic attack, you don't know. You're like, oh, my God, I'm dying. So, you know, I got in there. Of course, they're like New England assholes who picked me up. What'd you bomb? You have a fucking hard time? This is your first time doing comedy, kid? And I'm laying in the stretch and like, you know, looking at all my, they know everything's fine.

And then I get there and I thank God the doctor was really nice. The emergency room doctor. She was like, she was a woman. She was younger. And she's like, what's going on in your life? And I told her, and it came out. Cause you hold it all in. I wasn't going to therapy at this time,

you're just dealing with it until it explodes like that, hits you at a moment. And I told her and she was like, wow. She was like, wow. And she was like, here's what's going on. She was like, I'm And she was like, here's, here's what's going on. Like, she was like, I'm a medical doctor, but let me explain to you. You got a lot going on right now and you're not dealing with it. You're not taking care of yourself. And this is the result of that. She was like, and then she did the oxygen mask kind of analogy,

which is true. And you got to put your mask on first before you can. I see. When you're dealing with everyone else's shit, you're just falling apart. And that helped. Cause I always thought of that. And I thought, I stopped beating myself up with so much guilt after that. Cause I was like, I gotta take care of myself first.

Cause the guilt is so real and so ubiquitous and pervasive and constant. Until you hear that, it's like, oh, it's okay for me to first think about me so I can do whatever. Like I'm allowed to do that. Yeah, I'm allowed to do that. It's not a bad thing. So let me ask you this thing because I really want an honest opinion.

It's been two weeks. I mean. That would be funny if right there, if you were just like, how's my hair look? What do you think of this profile? Let me ask you, I just want an honest opinion. Is this barber killing it or what? That's my hairstylist, Tara.

What's up, Tara? How do you feel? I mean, when you talked about it lasts a little longer when you put her in a home because there's this relief that, hey, she's being taken care of by professionals. I can't. I think about that when I fly. You know what I mean? When the turbulence hits and shit. There's the same thing, yeah.

It's not like I can walk up in there and be like, move. Like, I can fly as fuck. You know what I mean? I can do that driving. You fucking guys don't know what you're doing. Yeah, yeah. You just got to fucking trust that it's in their hands and everything's going to be fine. So she just passed two weeks ago.

It's 20 years you're watching the demise of someone you love dearly. How do you feel? Is there a sense of relief? Yeah, there is. And is there massive guilt sitting with that also? A little bit, but not as much. Or less? Less.

Tell me. Less. It's less because I'm in therapy, that helps. And I think because of the experience with all that guilt, I know that like, hey, I'm human. I can't ignore that reality. We're all a little selfish and that's okay. I think it's actually normal to be selfish. People who aren't selfish always end up getting

a little weird. You know, those people who are too concerned about society and then they end up becoming dictators and murdering people because they're so tied to their utopian vision of how things should be. And there's a real denial of reality in that, you know? And so that ends up going to a bad place. So it's okay. We're selfish. We should be. That's, we want our own survival first.

And that's part of it. That's part of it. You know, it's your mom. So you have this guilt because a mother's love is selfless, but I'm not a woman. I'm not a woman. I'm not a daughter. What can I say? I'm a son. I guess daughters, maybe women have that more. There was a big relief, man. A relief I can't even, I can feel it already just in my career, in my focus,

in jokes. I can feel it. I can feel a freedom that I have never felt. 20 years. 20 years. Have you been, don't stand up that long? Yeah. So from the beginning of this. Pretty much. Your career, this has been going on.

Pretty much. Wow. Pretty much. Yeah. Pretty much. For the majority of it, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah.

It's been there the whole time. So yeah, it's, there is a, there's just something, there's a freedom and a lack of anxiety that's not there anymore. Like when she died, there was just this relief. Oh, and then there's all the whole headache of the house and the tenants and all the shit me and my brother had to fucking do and all the paperwork he had to do. You have to keep showing to Medicaid.

You have to keep doing that. Oh, is that right? You have to keep, yeah. It's like that right? You have to keep, yeah. It's like, you know, it's a whole thing. Keep proving you're poor. Keep proving you're poor. God forbid you make a fuck, make anything yourself. Yes.

Yeah, it's a, our system is not good. I believe in universal healthcare. I just think it's something taxpayers can do. It's the right thing to do. I don't want to get too, I understand the problems with it, but you know, we do spend a lot of money and I'm not a progressive in a lot of other areas.

But when it comes to these things, I look at us being the only country in the first world that doesn't have it. I'm going like, maybe we're the asshole on this one. Every other first world country has it. I know, I know the problems with it. I get it. But I think they're greatly outweighed by the positives.

Like, you know, because right now it's just like poor people get it. Because poor people get it. Right. Rich people don't need it. And people in the middle get fucked. Fucked. You get fucked. And my story is one of the middle most of the stories most of the stories are the middle you get fucked if you're poor that you they pay for it if you're rich they're like they don't fucking they pay for

it so it's like everyone in the middle gets fucked on this so the only people that don't get paid to die the poor get paid to die the rich can afford to pay to die and we just fucking die dude and when you get sick or whatever and you're in the middle dude in this country you got to sell your fucking house you got to do shit that trust me you you you're not thinking about or you have no experience with so whatever your opinions are probably those opinions are not based on experience because when you experience it you're going like dude we should have universal health care. There should be a better system in place to take care of old people.

We're civilized, are we not? I have no problem paying taxes for that. Like if I knew it was going to take care of society. Yeah, hopefully we're one of those people someday that gets taken care of. Fuck yeah, dude. I don't want to do this to my kids. Right. So let me ask you then then because we're going to

wrap up here in a little bit but you and your brother are you guys going to actively work on trying to repair things or are you good to go now that this burden has been removed we are we had a big it actually after covid me and him had a big

heartfelt I was crying crying crying crying I was in a vulnerable state after what I went through with covid and him had a big heartfelt, I was crying, crying, crying, crying. I was in a vulnerable state after what I went through with COVID and we had a, I just apologized. You know, I just, we had a huge cathartic reconciliation and I probably feel best about that. That's probably something that, cause you don't want to go through,

you don't want to be fighting with your siblings because that's all, that's my something that cause you don't want to go through you don't want to be fighting with your siblings because that's my family now that's all I have is him and now we got to take care of my other brother he's in the program thank god but we got to take care of all his stuff all the time so it's just not worth it with your family

family is all that matters all the rest of this shit is just things that you do to kill time when it comes down to it so I am most happy about that matters. All the rest of this shit is just things that you do to kill time, you know, when it comes down to it. So I am most happy about that, that we are, we've never been closer. Things are great. And I will never do anything to jeopardize that. Even he said he could be a little difficult. Let's be honest. You know, he's like me and him are different. He's like, you know, he's like an A-list kind of like,

he went to Oxford, Georgetown Law. He's the oldest brother. So he's a little, you know, anal. And I'm the, hey man, it's fine. I'm a comedian. I'm like, yeah, whatever. You know, we're like, so we're different. And sometimes he could be a little hard to deal with.

And I am absolutely resigned to just take it. Whatever it is, I'll take it. I will not, like, it doesn't matter to me. Like, and I'll feel it too. I'll feel that thing. I want to shoot back. I want to, you know, because unfortunately we learned that in our family from my parents. That was a little bit of their flaw.

Sometimes we fight hard. And I just like, I am like, I consciously will override. I will like veto, like the president. I will veto the Congress, which is my fucking, what I'm feeling. And go like, I'll look at the big picture and be like, this relationship means too much to me for the rest of my life. I'll just take this right in the ass. I'll take it. Like a good Greek. And he's gay, so it's appropriate.

Not only are we Greek, he is gay. The original Greek. Brother, thank you for coming on here. I know that wasn't easy to talk about and it's so fresh, man. I'm sorry for your loss.

I mean, by the time this comes out, maybe you'll be healed. It's going to be a second. Yeah, it's going to be a little while. Dude, this podcast is special for your loss. I mean, by the time this comes out, maybe you'll be healed. It's going to be a second. Yeah, it's going to be a little while. Dude, this podcast is special for that reason. This is a unique experience. Actually, it felt good to talk about.

Good. Thanks for saying that. Because I haven't talked about it. It happened two weeks ago, and it just feels good to talk about it, admit some of those things that are – thank you. Thank you. That kind of – you have to put in perspective and i'm i'm happy i was happy to talk about on this because this has a big audience

and it's going out and there's people going through it it's gonna help yeah dm me if you're going through it if you're not don't dm me don't pretend yeah don't pretend like you're going through it just because you know i'm going to respond because i will respond but if you're going through it and you want to DM me and ask me any question about it like if it's fresh for you you're going through it just DM me on Instagram and I'll tell you my experience and I'll help

the way I can through experience only but I do know how hard what you're going through is it's no joke well please again plug promote everything you'd like yeah just my special. If you like comedy, you can watch it on Amazon Prime or Apple, or you can watch it for free on YouTube. It's called Blowing the Light.

My new special's out now because this is coming out, what, 2027? Yeah, 2027. So I probably have a new special out. It's on YouTube, I'm sure. So go check that out. It's called Mom Love. Oh, that's great. Yeah, I think it, yeah. on YouTube, I'm sure. So go check that. It's called Mom Love. Oh, that's great. Yeah, I think it, yeah.

Fuck yeah, good for you. It's called Mom Love. Check that out. It's out. And my podcast, Long Days with Giannis Pappas. All right, Giannis. Thank you very much. As always, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media.

We'll talk to y'all next week.