The Hope Hotline - Boyfriend ALWAYS On His Phone, Kissing Hello & Goodbye, Divorced Family w/ Kids In The Family Home

Episode Date: April 11, 2025

The Hope Hotline | S03-E26 | 04-11-2025

Real talk. Real talk. real talk real talk real talk real talk hello and welcome to the hope hotline hope everybody is doing great it is a fun-filled fun-filled day I am, I'm gonna be honest with you people. I literally just walked in. I am completely behind the eight ball, 100%. I think Tracy was like, told to tell you, go and get hope. I'm like, yeah, we got a couple minutes.

Maybe she just got caught up. I thought maybe you were just enjoying your time so much in there. I just wanted to make sure that- In my office? Yes, in your office. Well. Doing your thing.

Okay, so what's going on? Like, what's going on? I can tell you this. My weekend is pretty crazy. I wonder if you guys are. And I guess Yag has decided to be at my house this weekend. Yeah, well, it's between, if they're not at the beach, they are at me or Vanessa's house.

Yeah. True. I love them. I do too. I asked them, I was like, what's up with Vanessa? No, just kidding. It's like, what's up with Vanessa? Vanessa can't have you at her house?

Exactly, hello. Hello. They never asked me, I would have been like, come on, let's go. I? Vanessa can't have you over at her house? Exactly, hello. Hello. They never asked me. I would have been like, come on, let's go. I know, she would have. Vanessa's always up for... I'm always up for a good time. Yeah, always.

Do you need my password? I'm on it. Okay. We're, like, I'm really sorry. Super late. Okay. Well, dear Lord have mercy. I know, I know.

What is going on? Don't ever buy a cheap anything because now it doesn't wanna go. So I'm just gonna leave it. Do you want that little box? No, it's okay. I have mercy. What is going on? Don't ever buy a cheap anything because now it doesn't wanna go. So I'm just gonna leave it. Do you want that little box? No, it's okay. I have this. I just, it's a piece is coming apart

and it was supposed to be a good one too. Do you guys keep hearing something fall? It's just me. It's just my phone. It's like, what the crap? So we're on TikTok. Hello, TikTok. We are.

Hello, TikTok over there. Yeah, I'm down. And okay, so the things I have, I'm pretty busy this weekend. What are you? Yeah, yes, I am. Tomorrow we're gonna go to that new, what's it called?

The Lagoon. Lagoon, yeah. So we're down in Fort Myers. So we're gonna go try it out first. We'll test it and see how it goes. Apparently your daughter had no idea cause she just went. Do you forget Tootie already?

Did you forget Toot? No, she did not. She's just excited. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right, Vanessa. I am headed to Topgolf tomorrow morning. I know, it's not, I'm not a fan,

but Jeff is taking out 70 of his clients. Oh, wow. Holy, holy. That's a lot. So I get to schmooze. Be the hostess with the mostest? Schmooze. Oh my gosh. And sound like I know what I'm talking about.

Okay, Vanessa, even on a good day. Let's face it. True. What, even on a good day, what? That's not gonna happen. Makeup, hair. And Jesus. You're gonna kill it.

Any other topics especially the financial realm who knows who knows I mean the bulls the Bears who knows which one oh true I what I want to know is which crumble cookie do you like? True. We have a new thing guys that you're gonna have to be watching for. Which one was your favorite? It was all of them were really good. I think my favorite was the skillet. Oh yeah I like that one a lot too. I think it's because of the crunchy crust.

The skillet or the cake-like one. Yeah, that cake one. Both really good. You are the bomb. Bomb diggity. So good. So good. Nobody knows what we're talking about.

But tune in tomorrow. I will. You will. Go on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook to the whole pot line, and you will know what we're talking about. Yep. So, okay, I think that's about it. That's all I gotta say.

Okay. I'm on a sugar overload. Good. Are you ready to go? Yeah. So do your thing. Okay. And then I'm gonna run to the bathroom

cause I have to pee really bad. You're allowed. Okay. So I'm gonna add TikTok to this one literally while we're talking today, because I every time I'm like, I need to add to talk. So I'm going to add to talk to this. But we are live on Tick Tock. So I'm going to wave to you guys. We are all alive on the whole pot line and we also live on Hey, it's hope zero one. So either way, you'll get two different views.

At some point, I'm hoping to be able to connect Hope's with ours, but we have to wait until she goes live enough times. But if you are watching on TikTok, if you can share this and do all this stuff, I will be actively involved in the podcast. So this is my only time I'm saying hi to you guys on TikTok.

After that, if you are on Facebook, it is finally up and running. It was being a little silly to get started, but it's going, it's going. And then if you are on Rumble, say hello. I see you guys watching, but the comments are quiet. So just say hi, let us know where you're watching from. YouTube, it's good to see you guys on there too.

So just say hello. And then later on today, we will have the audio podcast available for you guys on there too. So just say hello. And then later on today, we will have the audio podcast available for you guys. So while you're on whatever platform you're on, if you can just like and share and comment, if you can subscribe, if you can repost on the Rumble, it's got the new repost now.

Watch us live. And then you can like it and all that stuff. It just helps with the algorithm, helps us whatever we're already doing It helps us do it a little bit more Next is send in your questions. So we've got a few good ones today. I'm excited to get to those So we'll kind of move quickly along But yeah, please send in your questions ask hope at Hope hotline comm Natalie will be in here at the end of the month

So send in some questions. I did get one of them. So keep sending those questions in for Natalie. It can be from something we talked about last time that maybe you need more clarity on, or just something completely new, or something you've seen on TikTok, or anything like that. And yeah, send those questions in. Hope is live on TikTok right now. And she also is posting every single day.

So you'll want to jump on there. Congratulations. She got 100 followers. Woohoo! Woohoo! So, um, Hey, listen, that's a feat in and of itself. It is. It is.

But no, nothing viral, nothing like totally crazy yet. Just, just plug it away, man. Plug it away. And nobody I know. Nobody you know, exactly. Pretty much nobody I know. Yup, exactly. So, um, yeah.

So go follow her over there. Watch those TikToks. Repost, save, like, share, do all the stuff. And then we are also over there as well. Oh, I didn't update it. So we have about 60 followers. We have some new stuff up there too. I just took a new screenshot and forgot to add it.

So I'll update that one too. But yeah, we're on TikTok. We're actually on TikTok Live now. And yeah, that's that. But yeah, we're on on TikTok. We're actually on TikTok live now and Yeah, that's that Instagram we're over there as well And if you want some merch foundation church FL comm click shop and you can purchase some of our merch We've got our shirt our hat our mug and our spoon So head over there go go check that out. And then I think that's it for today. Hot diggity. Okay, let's do this.

We have some, so I think we're gonna be able to get to three questions today. But this is a topic that I think is all too familiar with today's dating or even married life as far as I'm concerned. I mean, you know the question. So you say yes, you agree with me. Yes, for sure, absolutely.

Okay, so the first question is, I am very frustrated with my boyfriend. Every time we go out to dinner or just hang out, he spends most of his time on his phone, either on TikTok or texting with other people. So this must be a young person because if this was a older person, they would have said. It's got to be a young a younger couple. Or Instagram, but is Instagram young and old? I want to say that it's

merging. So like Facebook's merging. Yeah. So like Facebook is my age group. Right. 100% Instagram is like you guys is like 40 40 below and below. Yeah. Is Instagram? I think so. And then you got the youngers, the Gen Z ers that are really like Gen Z ers are YouTube and tik-tok really oh And then the younger generation beyond that Like in the early teenage years is ticked as YouTube it that's it Yeah, I think so and take talk and tick-tock interesting. Yeah

Interesting, so this is a younger couple which means you probably don't need to be thinking about getting serious with anybody. The odds are. So, okay. So he spends most of his time on his phone, either on TikTok or texting other people. I really like him, but the lack of communication is really getting to me.

I need him to put the phone down and talk to me. How do I get this to happen? Have you guys gone to restaurants? I swear to the Lord above, Tom and I go to restaurants and everyone around us, unless it's a big group of people that have gone out to dinner together, but if it's a couple, she's on her phone, he's on his phone and there's very little communication

between the two of them. I'm like, why even bother? Stay at home, save the money. Or if they're dating, I'm like, why? Oh, why? Yeah. I don't get it. It makes no sense, because, okay, I am aging myself,

but back when me and Tom were dating, like cell phones really weren't, I mean, they had them. Okay, we had cell phones, but it wasn't like, we didn't live through our cell phones. All you could do is talk on your cell phone. Texting was just becoming a thing, but it wasn't even texting really wasn't a thing when we were dating.

So I'm telling you right now, like, all this stuff has just ruined society. Do you remember when you had to wait till like nine o'clock to use your free minutes? Free minutes on the phone? Yeah. Nights and weekends. Which makes no sense to these kids at all. But yeah, you had to pay, like, oh my gosh, I remember one time, like the bill. The bill. Yes, if you went over your minutes, not good. I know one time me and my friend,

we were constantly texting with each other and we ended up thinking we had texted so much that, but my phone bill wasn't expensive. Her phone bill was outrageous. It ended up not being me and her, it was her husband. He had run up the bill, but before that, he was like, what are you doing? And ends up she did all the research and she found out,

oh, it ain't me, it's you. But seriously, back then, it was an over $1,000 bill. We're not talking cheap guys. No, absolutely not. Now I had a hundred over a hundred dollars at a time on my bill. Can you believe that? Like if you went over your minutes, you would actually pay a hundred dollars more on your phone,

on your cell phone. And now like when you went, when they did unlimited, we thought we died and went to heaven. My mom has a great story because she can tell it better but she called in sync like cuz you could call in sync and you could like hear they had like a message that they would say oh yeah back in the day all the replaying it over and over and over again because she wanted to hear his voice and it ended up being $300 oh. Yeah, because back in the day, that was one of the ways,

like they didn't have, like, only remember when MySpace went off the charts, MySpace was where a lot of these bands would go for free marketing and advertising. But before that, what Talia was talking about was really what you had to do. You would call in a number, it wasn't an 800 number,

but it was just like an 800 number, but you did get charged. Yeah. And there were party lines. Do you remember the party lines? Oh my gosh, yes, party lines. That is funny. People are like, do you ever go back?

Like I, on Instagram, they know what your formidable years are. And mine are the eighties. And so, you guys probably don't get these, but you get it for nineties, but nineties and 2000s probably. But mine is always the eighties. And so it'll always go back to like, do you remember when?

And it always has the eighties stuff on there. Like times were good. Do you miss these? I'm like, I finally, I put on one of them and like, yeah, I'd go back in two seconds flat with my kids and my, and my family, like send me back because way, life was way simpler. And just like the streetlights came on, you ran home,

like that was your tall tale sign, get your butt home. Friday nights were, what was it? TGI Friday. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh, I know. Oh yeah. And like Casey Kasem would play,

like there were Sunday nights too, like Casey Kasem would play like there were Sunday nights too. Like Casey Kasem would play like everybody, like the top 10. And then sometimes there would be ones where you could call in and you would send in like, will you play? The DJ would literally do this. Will you play this for this person? And you could say their name. Jeff used to call up the local radio station and request songs for the girl of the week. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I believe it. That sounds about right.

That sounds about right. But all that stuff is like done and gone. I know it. And our kids will never know that life. Yeah. That's really sad. It is block parties. Yeah. Block parties.

Block parties are still a thing in New York City. They're not really here. I mean, our neighborhood does them, but not really. But block parties were really cool because all of your friends got, y'all lived in the same neighborhood and all your parents were friends with each other. And then you would just on Friday nights or Saturday,

block party. Right. Just live your best life. Telling ya. Everybody bring something, like everybody's houses were cleaned so everybody could bring like a potluck and cause mom stayed home, took care of their families.

And- Can we go back to that? Yeah, it was such a nice, simpler time and I would love to be able to tell you to go back to that? Yeah, it's just, it was such a nice, simpler time. And I would love to be able to tell you to go back to that time, whoever you are, and your boyfriend wouldn't have a phone. There was no TikTok then. And you would actually have a conversation with him.

That's rough. I mean, my gosh, that's all Tom and I have is talking. Like we are like talkaholics, anonymous. Hi, I'm a talkaholic, I need help. Did you guys go out to dinner a lot? Cause like my family never went to dinner. Me and Tom all the time, not my family. No, if we went to McDonald's, that was like,

we were living large. Special occasions, we went to the, we would hit up the local Sizzler. But back then, there weren't as many restaurants. There wasn't, and it just wasn't a thing. You had home, you had Sunday dinner, or excuse me, you did have Sunday dinner, but you had dinner at home every night.

Nobody was going out to eat. And if you did- Take out pizza on Friday night. Yes, Pizza Hut. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. We are like the ones up North.

We all had our names, Godfathers and stuff like that. Yeah. After church. Friendlies every. Yes. So, but it wasn't something we did often, like as a family, like we'd go to like, what was it?

Pan, pan, pan, it's like a- A pandarosa? Yes. Ponderosa. Ponderosa. But here's the thing, you didn't do that until you got older, correct? Yeah, I think so.

Because when you were young, we were younger, we did not do that, it was until we got older that we did those things. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I mean, it was just- Yeah, mom. But yeah, so now you're on your phones, everybody is.

All the time. Yeah. All the time. Yeah. All the time. It's not good people. I mean, if you're married and you can relate to this, maybe you're not on TikTok, but maybe you're, like a lot of people like to like go on their phones and just look up things.

Yeah. It's maybe not, you're saying, well, I don't go on TikTok. I don't go on Facebook. I don't go. Well, are you researching things while you're on there? Cause everybody has their thing that draws them. Maybe you're checking your emails cause you're a workaholic.

Yep. Right. Yeah. Responding to people all the time. Like there's gotta be a downtime and there's gotta be a me and you time. Yeah. Or just not liking the silence. So then you pick it up and you just look at like, just break that habit. I mean, I seriously, I've, I admittedly,

and I don't do it that often. Well, maybe I do it more than I even want to admit if I think about it, but so often I'll be in a conversation with somebody and I'll be actually looking at my phone, either going through my emails or even like looking at Facebook or something like that, because just having a singular thing isn't enough for me. Or maybe it is, but I find that sometimes I do do it.

I probably do it way more than I think I do, to be honest with you. I think we all do. It's become like we are not satisfied just like with slow. We just want that dopamine hit. Yeah, it is. For sure. It's like crack.

It is. So you just gotta be slow. Slow down. Slow down. Yeah. Slow down. I wonder, I'm sorry. No, go ahead.

I wonder if this person has had this conversation with her boyfriend. Ooh. Like. Well, that's what I say. You do like you're going to have to talk to him. Yeah. Like, hey, I noticed that you've been on your phone and whenever we're together, you're always on your phone. Can can we set up time where it's just you and I and we put our phones away?

Or you could do it like me. Like, this is how I would say it. I was going to say I was dating. Back in the day, not anymore. I would choose a nicer way. But back in the day, I'd be like, I see you're on your phone a lot. Am I not enough for you?

Ooh. Yay. If I'm not enough for you, guess what? I'll find somebody who thinks I am. What is that saying? You catch more flies with honey? That's not gonna catch you a fly. That's gonna repel it.

Yeah. But seriously, that's what I think of when I read this question, I was like, maybe she's just not enough for him. But I don't think anybody's enough for anybody anymore. Right. Because like seriously. This is a common issue.

So common. Yeah. Yeah. I literally, the last time Tom and I went out to dinner by ourselves, everybody that we saw for the most part was on their phone and they barely talked to each other. Right. Oh, so I asked Chad GPT,

what advice would I give my friend about the situation? What did they say? They suggested to have a conversation, a calm, clear conversation. And this is what it suggested. OK. I really value our time together. And sometimes I feel a bit disconnected

when you're on your phone a lot. Can we set some boundaries so we can be more present with each other? Well, isn't AI so, like? Keep it respectful, but honest. That's frightening. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yep. I'm just telling you, sometimes that stuff... I know. Is scary. Yeah. There's like a whole movement right now that is very much against using AI. Really? Like, like altered state, which is like, I don't know.

It's a clothing. Yeah, it's a clothing company, but it's like targeted towards like millennials and younger. What is the name of this? Altered State. And it's like a Christian company. Never heard of it before. Yeah, they're in like bigger malls.

So they're like a little bit more higher end, not like super high end, but like just it's not like Forever 21 and like these fast, cheap ones. But they just posted kind of what we did with AIs yesterday with our crazy faces and stuff. And they did like a Barbie one. And all the girls in the comment are like, ew, AI, like that's so cringe.

Like, no, we don't use AI. We're not, cause the whole Elon Musk thing. So yeah, yeah. So it's like this whole thing now where they're against AI. As soon as Elon is no longer in the picture, they'll all be bum rushing it and coming back. Isn't that crazy though? It's a low to hooy.

Side note. I don't buy it. Yeah. I'm telling you that generation, not just that generation, God bless you Talia Thank you for that. I'm a popsicle in here. She just ran it, huh? I Don't care just as long as it's up. I'm me five years. Holy moly. That's freezing in this joint Like I

Was about to say all the younger generation is hooked and addicted to it, but that's not true. Yeah, it's not. That's just not true. If you are computer savvy at all, and you're an older person, you're using it. Yeah, oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you are using it. And posting, like spam posting.

Like what is that? All day long. What's spam posting? Like when you just are posting, like're on you're like your news feed and you're like, oh cute cat repost Oh dog repost. Oh, I like that house Quote repost repo. Okay, you just constantly like sharing those people They don't know they're blocked. Yeah, but people that do that. Yeah, that's called spam posting. That's what that is Okay, I did not know. People who are nonstop.

Yes. Stay friends, but block. Right. I can't do it. They won't know them. Like you pause, I've paused people before. Everybody's paused people. Is that wrong?

Especially, no. Okay. Well, here's the thing. For me, if we're not politically, if we're not politically in step with one another, I don't wanna see your crap. You don't wanna see mine. And you don't wanna see mine, right. True, exactly.

Like, so let's agree to disagree. Yeah. And then while we do that, let's just not see each other's crap. Right. You're not gonna convince me and I'm not gonna convince you, so. Absolutely not.

I'm okay with that. True. So I'm okay with that. And I'm okay with us still being friends, but not seeing each other's crap. It don't bother me. It doesn't offend me. So I don't know. Like I don't know the AI thing though. I will say this back to what we were talking about.

If you stay with this person, I would actually, I would say to them, like Vanessa was saying, have a conversation and basically say, okay, I have a problem. I feel I'm feeling ignored. Like the phone's way more important than me or whatever else or it appears that way. So can we set boundaries?

And if that person says, yes, let's do it. They might say, no, you know what? Right now, like, I can't promise you that I'm gonna put my phone down and we're gonna go to dinner and it's just gonna be me and you talking. I can't promise you that. And what he's saying with that is,

you're not going to fulfill that device. But I would say he finds you boring, but what I would tell you is, he's gonna find anybody boring. Cause again, the dopamine dump is the phone, not the relationship with a tangible human being. And like back in the day, like we would be so giddy to get together with our friends.

And I know you guys know what I'm talking about, but back in my day, like when I knew that I was gonna get to go and hang out with my friends, we only talked on the phone for short periods of time because we didn't have call waiting until I was in my teenage years. So you got 10 minutes on the phone and then you had to hang up because if somebody else, in case somebody else was gonna get a phone call

or if an important phone call came through, the phone had to be available. Okay, well, back then, the only time you got to be with your friends is when you hung out together. So all of your words and all of the things had to happen in that timeframe. You couldn't wait to get together. You couldn't wait to get to youth group.

And then when you are at youth group, everybody had your full undivided attention. Not like this and uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. It wasn't like that. True. Like that was the dopamine dump, is being with your friends. And then hopefully, hopefully somebody cute

walked in the room and all of you guys could talk about him. True. That was the best. It is true to that day, to this day, but you could also find somebody online. Whereas back then you couldn't find anybody online. You had to hope they walked through the flipping door. True. True.

And because online dating wasn't a thing back then. No. You couldn't like log on and swipe left or right or up or down. Not at all. There was no online dating. You had to meet people organically. Or listen, I know I've had many jobs, but one of my jobs that I had a long, long,

long, long, long time ago, I was in my twenties, um, like early twenties, maybe 21, I worked for a dating company. No way. Yes, I did. That's like the best job ever. Yes, it was. I God. No way. Yes, I did. That's like the best job ever. Yes, it was. I was the receptionist.

And then I would put, we had these books. Like you had books of all women, all men. And then you would have like, the books would be kind of categorized, right? They had their categories, it's somewhat irrelevant. But when you were trying to sell somebody, you had a book with all the best looking people in it. So if it was a guy coming in,

you had the book with all the good looking girls. And if you had a girl coming in, you had all the guys in the good looking book. That's how you would sell them. That's how you were, oh, heck yeah. That was how you reign them in. That's how you would sell them. That's how you were. Oh, heck yeah. That was how you rein them in. That's so funny. So, but I would have,

this is how it worked back in the day. If you wanted to find somebody to date that you didn't know and you didn't want to meet at a bar, you would go to a dating company. A dating, like she was a matchmaker. That's what they called them, matchmakers. So you would go to this dating company and what she would do is she would sit down with you and she would find out what are your top qualities, what do you

like, what is your age group, what is the the youngest she'll date, what is the oldest she'll date. Then they would pull from the notebook all of your options and then they would put the sheets in front of you and based on what the person had written about themselves along with us and their picture, you go, okay, can you set me up a date with this person, this person and this person? And then you, that's what I would do. Oh my gosh.

What have you not done? That's online dating. That's so funny. Back then. Crazy. Yeah, back then. Wow. So if there was no, like, it wasn't like it is today.

Right. And there's something like, that was exciting for people to be like, cause then you would have a like it is today. Right. And there's something like that was exciting for people to be like, cause then you would have a phone call with them. Right. That's how it all started. Wow. That's wild.

I don't like that anymore. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's kind of sad. It is. It's kind of sad. So I don't know, like, but if it was me, I would say to the guy, listen, do you wanna do this

or do you not wanna do this in a very nice way? And if he said, no, all right, see ya, peace out. Glad I didn't waste too much time on you. If he said yes, then what you're gonna have to know is, first of all, you can't nag him to death because he's gonna be, it's gonna be really hard for a person who's kind of addicted to the phone, which in some ways, all of us are.

That's the truth. And to some degree, all of us are addicted to that device. And so what's gonna happen is, is it's gonna be hard for that person not to like wanna pull it. So you're gonna have to be patient with this person and you can't nag. But when the opportunity arises periodically,

periodically, not every time you go out, periodically, you're gonna have to say, hey, listen, we're taking some back steps here. Do you notice that you always have the phone in your hand? Please, for the love of Pete. I don't know why it's Pete, but it is. For the love of Pete, please help me help you. Otherwise, if he can't do it,

are you really losing anything? Right. I mean, listen, you're lonely with him sitting across the table from you. So what's the point? Nothing changes. Right. You ain't lost much if he says no.

And you haven't lost much if he can't follow through. Cause right now you're lonely. You just have a nice, something good looking that you're sitting across from, you can find somebody else. True, true. Chad CBT also says to model the behavior. Yes.

They like that though. Listen, if a person is on that phone, they're gonna be like, oh, sweet. Now I'm off the hook. I can keep looking. Cause I'm telling you, let's say you've gone to restaurants. They are modeling the behavior. Yeah.

People are not talking to one another. Yeah. Or this is the other one. They'll be talking to one another about what's on their phone and like, look, look. Yeah. I've seen that. Yeah. Yeah.

So like, Chetchi BT, I don't agree with that. Or maybe what they meant is like, he could be on his phone and then you're just being completely present with your phone down and like trying to have a conversation and maybe they would pick up on the queue. Maybe she's really boring. I beg to differ. No, I have no idea. Just throwing that out there.

I mean, she could be. Cause like, what if like, like I, like when Jare and I are talking, like it is something like we'll pick up our phones, but it's usually when we're not talking. But like when we're engaged, like a good conversation. Yeah, you're animated. I'm like, yeah, like I'm really like, I'm engaged.

You also are older. Okay. So if you are older and I don't, I mean, I know you're on TikTok and everything. I am right now. But yeah, that's true. But if the truth be told, the odds are this person is younger than you.

So they not like, like you grew up communicating. That's what you love to do. These people don't know. That's true. That is very true. Yeah, you don't have the skills. I mean, how many times have you, how many times have you met young people who don't even know how to have a conversation? Many times.

All the time? Many times. I mean, it's frightening. It is, yeah. They don't even, like I sometimes I'm sitting there going, like, who taught you how to talk? Yeah. And it isn't because you're uneducated.

No. It's because you don't do it enough. When you don't use a skillset, then you don't know how to do it when you are put in a place where you have to like have a conversation. Yeah, true. Yeah. I've literally had people tell me,

I'd rather not talk on the phone. I'd rather just text people because I really don't wanna talk to them. Specifically. Yeah, they don't really, and it's not that they don't wanna talk to them. It's they don't wanna talk to anybody. Yeah, they don't really, and it's not that they don't wanna talk to them, it's they don't wanna talk to anybody. Yeah.

So they rather text. Yeah, crazy. That's a wild thought. Yeah. I don't know, it's become very bad. Yes. What are you laughing at? I love not talking on the phone.

I mean, I love not talking on the phone too, but I'm not gonna override a conversation with somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Although. It is a known thing with like, especially with like the younger generation, they don't wanna be on the phone.

Yeah. Getting them to, okay, getting like an 18 year old to make their own appointments is hilarious. It is hilarious. Like calling a doctor's office and making an appointment. Right. Now, here's the crazy thing is Tommy is, he's 26, right?

But pretty much, and it might be because he's older, but pretty much he's always done all of that stuff. I've not, like, I'll go with him if he wants me to because he'd be like, you can sit in the car, but just for us to have some time together. Cause outside of that, we don't see each other. So, but he's always made his own appointments. It's a good habit to start.

I might start doing that with my kids. Norma on the other hand. Mm-hmm. Slow the roll Vanessa. Yeah. Cause I ain't got it going on. Wait, I probably would still call my mom. That was him doing it.

That wasn't me making them, just so you know. I'd love to take credit. True. But I wasn't me, that was just Tommy just taking it upon himself. His personality. It's just quality. it's just something. Like it was no great parenting technique.

I wish to God I could say it, but I'm not gonna own something I didn't do. Okay, I'll take it back. Like some people, some people like, their kids are super intelligent and they're like, I know, like you didn't do squat. You're dumb as a box of rocks, you got lucky, man. I know you, you can't even do two plus two.

You act like you're the one that created that. Outside of birthing it, that kid is smart, not because of you. Oh, your mom is throwing you under the bus, Tracy. Oh yeah, I was gonna say, if I could have my mom make every single phone call for me still at the age of 40, I would. See Norma is like that.

Including Chinese food. I will not call the Chinese food place. I won't do it. And so now Kylie always was my person. And now Tutti, are you over there? Yup, now Tutti's my person, she's not there. But she's next in line. I'm making those phone calls.

Listen, Norma is the same way. But she'll go to all of her appointments by herself. Like if she can make the appointment online. Right, that's me. Golden. But really, like, let's say, do you want me to go to that with you? Yeah, no. Please don't, I'm good.

Right, no, I don't need anybody. But not on the phone, man. Yeah, I know. Wants nothing to do with it, so I don't know. Actually, really rude mom, thanks for calling me out. We knew it. I was trying to slide under the radar. We all know it.

With the people that know me the best. It's funny. When that thing has a red bar up on the top, what does that mean? I'll look, let me check it out. Oh, it just went away. Okay, I think you're getting like requests. Oh. It's like going, it's my goal. Oh.

It's like going, it's like, it just up across the whole entire thing, sister. It just went crazy. Like we're new to TikTok Live. And so we've, like right now it has the bar across the top. It's just saying, it's just, there are goals. Am I trying to meet a goal? Yeah. So I'm to meet a goal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm not attaining the goal.

Well, I don't know, you have three people consistently watching right now. Like there's three people hanging out on your channel. On that one? Yep. God bless you three. I know, and a ton of likes. I love you. You have like almost 400 likes or something.

It's hey hope. It's hey hope. God bless. Come on, you know. Let me help you. Or just stay here so you can help me. Oh my gosh. Cause really that's what it's all about.

Exactly. I love you for that. I know. So I have this camera right here. I got that. Oh, you can't see it, but I got that over there. And then we got that. Hey, Hope.

I can see you. So we got a lot of things going on around here, but all good. So I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying, but my kids, like it ain't nothing I done. So, and I am not the brightest light bulb in the box. So my kids, if they are smart,

which they're street smart, book smart, both of them, we tell you. It's not for me. Same. It's not for me. Same. It's not for me. Yeah, I get it. If you want a good face pounding, my son will be able to do that for you.

Or Norma too. Yeah, Norma too. But Tommy is properly trained. He's a professional. It's true. He's a professional. It's very true. Face pounder.

Now Norma on the other hand, she likes to think in her own mind she is, and she probably is pretty scrappy. She's very scrappy. She is. Watch out for that one too. Scrappy girl. So here's the thing, let's do sponsors real quick,

and then let's get going to the next question. Because the next question is very awkward. Okay. Like very freaking awkward. Right, what are you gonna do? I don't know. Okay, we'll figure it out. I mean, I know what I would do. We'll figure it out together.

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Lots of moving parts. The phone number for them is 460-3962-941-460-3962. Now on to the next question. Now listen, I'm not trying to insult you if you do this, but if you do this, you're weird. Slightly weird. In some cases, you're just you're just weird, but some people just don't know that it's weird. So you might be slightly. Okay, how can a person I just don't know that it's weird. So you might be slightly. Okay, how can a person gracefully get out of kissing acquaintances, hello and goodbye, like in social and church situations?

Like back in the day when I would go, like for me now it's church, right? And have I had this happen to me? Yes. Right on the lips. On the lips? Okay, I don't mind the cheek. The cheek is a cultural thing.

The cheek, okay. And I've kissed people on the cheek too. And is it weird for them? Quite possibly. Okay, so maybe I'm a little off myself, okay? But on the lips. Yeah. and it wasn't a guy. God bless. That's assault.

That's assault. Oh my gosh. That's a no. I was a little traumatized and it happened more than once. And I would always be like- The same person? You're like God. Persons. Persons, it's happened more than once. And I would always be like- The same person? You're like, Persons, persons.

It's happened more than once with more than one person. And literally I'd be like, but they were so sweet most of the time, because they had an edge to them at the same time. They were very sweet. They loved me very much. And they were more than an acquaintance, but not much more, I mean, to a certain extent.

And I was like, what the crap are you doing? Like, why are you wanting to kiss me on the lips? You're married. You're married. And you're a woman. And you're a woman. Oh my God. To a man.

That's funny. Like I, listen, if it was a lesbian who wanted to kiss me on my lips, I would get it. Right, right. And I probably would kiss them back. Oh wow. Not like that. Okay.

But I would get it then. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm like, okay, well they're affectionate towards other women. Doesn't mean they want to get in my pants necessarily. It just means that they are affectionate towards the same sex. But for me to have another woman that's married to a man

wanting to kiss me on the lips. That's weird. I'm not, it's meh. I can't think of any culture that does that. On the lips, no. Like if you go to Europe, it's all the time. On the cheeks, I mean. I like to pretend I'm from Europe every now and then. If anyone is, I'll give them kisses on the cheek.

Yeah, Spanish culture, we kiss on the cheek. And if you don't, it's a sign of disrespect. I grew up that way, but like on the lips? Well, even if you go over to the Middle East, the men kiss each other on the cheek. And it's like, it's not, it's not cool not to greet each other like that. Right. Okay.

But listen people, this is the United States of America. When in Rome. And these women were United States of American women. Then they should know better. They were not from another country. They should know better. They were American born and bred. Okay, so what do you do?

It's a toughie. I don't know, cause I'm a big hugger. And I like, listen, this is where I make people awkward. And they might not wanna hug, but I'm always like, bring it in. I'm a hugger, bring it in. I don't care. Poor Erin, Erin's not a hugger.

Heather's not really a hugger. I force it, like you're hugging me. Like I don't care. And they suck it up and they do it. Now there's other people, they're like, and I'm like, okay, you're not a hugger. All right, I'm gonna let you off. But for the most part, like when I meet new people

and I've never met them before, and they're like, I'm like, I'm a hugger. Come on, we can hug. And they're like, oh, I'm a hugger too. Most love the time. Then every now and then you'll be like, the guy or the girl they're like, oh, I'm a hugger too. Yeah, that's usually the response. Most love the time. Then every now and then you'll be like, the guy or the girl will be like, oh, okay. And then you're like, you know what?

You want a handshake. Yeah. Okay, read the room. There it is. There's the advice. Read the room. And make light of it and be funny about it because it's not the end of the world

if the person's not a hugger and you are. Right, right. And most everybody for the world to know's not the end of the world if the person's not a hugger and you are. And most everybody for the world to know are not kissers on the lippers, especially if you don't know them. That's disgusting. I don't know where your lips have been. And if you're like my husband,

it's usually been all over the dog's mouth. So I'm not kissing. No kissing. I don't wanna kiss you after you've been kissing, whatever. Exactly. God bless. No thank you. Maybe their love language is physical touch. Must be, must be.

Yeah. With your lips? Yep. It's gross. So what would you do? Because I say be just direct. Say, you know what, I am not comfortable with this. It's nothing personal, but you know what?

I'm just not a physical touch kind of person. And if I am, I'm very selective. And it's not because of you. It's because of me. You do the breakup thing. It's not you, it's me. Do the breakup thing. That's true.

Blame it on you. Because really, it's me. Do the breakup thing. That's true. Blame it on you. Cause it's really, it is your problem. Your problem is, is you don't want their lips on yours. Yeah, fair. Fair. I think I would avoid them. At all costs? I tried that, it doesn't work.

Instead of having. She tried dodging them. I've tried it, it does not work. I see them in the distance, like I run. Run the other way. Oh my gosh. I see them in the distance, like I run. Run the other way. Oh my gosh. I don't think it works. If they want you better not, they're coming for you.

They're coming for you. They'll sneak up on you. And you won't know you'll like turn and they're like there. Right there. Right there and they like kiss you real quick. Yeah. Then you're going.

Exactly dodging. I don't know. I think you have to be honest, man. That's never happened to me. That's never happened to you? Like on the lips, never. Has it happened to you, Tracy? Oh my gosh, yes, it has. My first kiss.

Oh my gosh. I wanna know about it. It's true. I think I was like- Vanessa, have you heard the story? I think I was like 12 years old. Mom knows. We were singing Christmas carols at the retirement home.

And some older guy was like, maybe I was younger. I might have been younger than 12. Not a retirement home guy. Retirement home. Oh my gosh. He was like, come here. Come here. And so my gosh. And he was like, come here, come here. And so I came closer. He's like, come here.

And then he went in and he was like, kiss me on the lips. And I was like, ah, and that was my first kiss. So yes, but I was tricked into that. But literally on my lips. That's disgusting. It was really bad. It's ingrained in my brain lips. Ew. That's disgusting. It was really bad. It's ingrained in my brain forever. Apparently.

Like that's traumatizing. That's disgusting. I still like old people too, so. I guess God healed that part of my heart. Yeah, there's no resentment. No, I still, yeah. The bitterness. But yeah, he tricked me.

He's a trickster. That's probably my favorite story. That's so gross. I didn't see it coming. didn't even see it coming. Didn't even see it coming. Apparently not. Who would think though, some ol' fogey is calling you in so they can give you the smackdown. Come here.

Who the crap does that? A pedophile. That's who does it. I know, that's like the worst part. You 100% was a pedophile. That's disgusting. Oh, I know, I know. So yeah, that's the only time. Other than that, I've had people kiss me on the cheeks

and it gets close. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That get easy. Yeah, yeah. And yeah. And hugging, like, I don't know. I hug, I do the same thing. Like I'm a hugger when I meet people.

But like you guys, like. Same. Yeah. You get a pat. Yeah, I'm like, hey. you guys, like. Same. Yeah. You get a pat. You get a, yeah, I'm like, hey. Me, I get a pat? And when do we hug? Well, you don't hug.

You already admitted that to Tracy Lopes. Are you watching Tracy Lopes? Remember at church, you're like, I don't hug you. I said that? Yeah, and you're like, that's like a lesbian behavior. I don't hug you? Yeah. I want you to be my woman. What are you talking about? I know, that's. I don't hug you. I want you to be my woman.

What are you talking about? I know, that's why you don't hug me. No, I'd have my hands all over you. Oh my gosh. That's not true. We just can't go in that direction just yet. We both are married. That's true.

Not yet. It's not allowed right now. Oh my gosh, so funny. No, like, you know what? See, I go too far. Yeah, see? I go too far. Like I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. as I go too far because I literally, like if I see somebody's butt right there and it's like prime. True, you're smacking it. I'm smacking it, dude.

Like I got to, like it's just calling my name. I don't do it to men, but I do do it to women. And I'm sure they're highly offended by that every now and then. They might be, nobody's ever said anything to me. So you must be smacking the right people, but nobody's ever said anything to me. I don't think they would. There are no incident reports. But I feel like yeah I could be like a mediator so they might come to me be like can you

tell Hope to stop smacking me on the butt. I am extremely uncomfortable. They're gonna submit a question. Oh my gosh I go down the front go down to the front row. Sometimes I'm walking down the aisle and going to the front row to sit down. Right in the middle of worship. I love you Jesus. Whack. Oh my gosh. They're like, I'm like, hello. Yeah, I've been on the receiving end of that.

Here's a love tap. Little love tap. Oh my gosh. Didn't mean to interrupt it, but yeah, I mean, like for me, I don't know how to say other than, I think you're just gonna have to say, do not kiss me on the lips in a very nice way. Just say I'm not comfortable with that.

I think that's fair. Yeah. I don't think there's any other way. There isn't. No, that's it. Just do that. But an acquaintance shouldn't be kissing you on the lips anyway.

Or shove your tongue down their throat. Oh my gosh. Oh! And then that's the last time. And then that's the last time. Wait a second. Start nice. Next time, the next time that, do it.

What are they gonna do? Well, they're the one that instigated it. Just hold longer. They started it. Lean in. Like lean in. Lean into it like Vanessa says. Just lean into it.

Lean in. They started it, you finished. You lean into it. Lean in. They started it, you finished it. You'll finish it. Yeah, listen. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. But the problem is, is if you're married and your husband or your wife sees you deep down, deep, to tongues, deep throat, deep throat in somebody,

are you serious? Just tell them, just give them a heads up. You can say listen, honey, I had to do it. They keep pecking me on the lips and I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.

I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.

I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Are you serious? Just give them a heads up. You can say listen honey. I had to do it. They keep pecking me on the lips and I'm done. I'm done. So I just had to go in, take care of business. Can you imagine? I can. I can too. But an acquaintance, that's disgusting.

Well, here's the thing, you remember this, even if you're very honest with them, either with the tongue lashing, either way with the talking tongue lashing or the physical tongue lashing, either way they're an acquaintance. So if you offend them or tick them off, they're gonna be no longer in your life, right?

What have you lost? An acquaintance? Right. Who cares? Who cares? Yeah, who cares? They're not your friend. No.

They're an acquaintance. Right. And if we're doing friends, that's a whole nother thing. Right. True. That might be a problem. Yeah. Yeah.

On that note, that went a little too far again. I don't care. It's Friday. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, a little too far again. I don't care. It's Friday. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. It's Friday. All right, next question. This is like, I didn't even know this existed.

This is wild, but I actually like it. And here I'll tell you why after I read the question. What do you think about divorced parents choosing to move in and out of the family home based on custody schedules while the kids stay in the house full time for stability? Have you ever heard of this, Vanessa? Never.

Have you, you've, I know you've heard about it because me and you were talking about it, Tracy. Yeah. Yep. I've never heard of such a thing. You know what I love? I love it. Because here's the thing.

If you don't wanna be married anymore, why should the kids have to be bounced around? Bounce yourself around. You be inconvenienced instead of the kids be inconvenienced. How about that? Like you made a decision to have those babies. You don't wanna be married anymore. Figure it out, but let them stay in the house,

in their beds every single night. You come and go. I love that idea. I don't know who's doing this or who started it, but you're smart as crap. Cause you wanna make sure your kids feel very stable, very like their life, their neighborhood friends, they grow up in their neighborhood

instead of having to come and go, come and go, come and go. This is the smartest thing anybody's ever thought of. True. I mean, okay, you agree with it, Vanessa? Oh yeah, when I first heard it, I was like, that's genius. But then Tracy was like, if they're gonna do all that, why can't you just work it out? I agree, but I agree.

But sometimes like if you got a cheater and he wants to cheat. True, no, I think it's a genius idea. Or she wants to cheat, go let her cheat. Go do your thing. But the kids, their lives, they stay calm, cool, and collected. They get to live their best life. You screwed things up, you go figure it out.

Yeah, I like that. Let the kids have a real life, you know, home that they get to stay in all the time. They know every night I'm spending the night in my bed. Instead of having to go back and forth, jump all around. I think that that's very wise. I do too. I do too.

Yeah. Where did you see first see this? I think it was a real. Because you said you knew about it. Yeah, Instagram or TikTok, one of the two. It might have been TikTok TikTok and it was a couple and they did say they tried to like make it work. Like, cause I think somebody asked like,

if you can, cause I've been divorced and it is not easy to come to an agreement. So I can't even imagine that we would have been in a place where like, hey, let's share a home and the girls can stay, I wish like, but we couldn't nothing. So do these people like in my mind, answer me this question.

Why you're explaining this, explain this part. Cause I don't wanna forget this part cause you're probably not. So, okay, since you have seen this and I had never seen heard about this before this question. So Tracy, the one parent spends the night in the house with the kids. Do they share an apartment outside of the house

that both of them share the apartment and what they both have to go back to that apartment or is there three places that everybody stays? He has apartments, she has apartment and then they have this house. How does that work? It's a great question. Do you know this answer?

I know the answer for this one. Okay. Okay, finish them what you were saying and make sure you add that part in there. I just yeah, okay Well, I'll tell you the whole scenario. So I just like we couldn't even agree to like Anything like God forbid like we actually got to agree on like hey, let's have one home and you and I come and go It was just it would have been like nope. I'm not doing it because anything I said was just, it would have been like, nope, I'm not doing it. Because anything I said was, nope, nope, nope. So even if that idea came, I can imagine it's a very hard thing for two people that are going through a divorce.

Because it really does bring out the worst in you. God hates divorce, and it's on purpose. Because it brings out the worst in you. There's a lot of things you have to let go of. You have to be very selfless. You have to put your kids first all the time, if there's kids involved. Please don't ever get divorced. If you're on. It is not, please don't ever get divorced

if you're on this and you're listening, don't ever get divorced. And so God will turn it for your good if you are, because he turned it for my good. But it's the hardest thing you'll ever go through in your life. If you have kids. Especially if you have kids.

Holy crap. It's hard tearing two people apart. Right, but when you have kids and you have to continue to do business with these people, and this is like your best interest. So anyways, yeah, so if you can make it work, make it work. Like make it work. But if you can't, and you've tried, whatever, and you're moving on, what they did is so they've, they're divorced, they have one home. The kids stayed in their same home. And the mom goes and lives with her parents in an apartment style at her parents' house. And she goes there when the time is that she doesn't have her kids.

And then the dad is a firefighter. So he actually stays at the station on his time off. So right now, there really is only one family home. And they don't have to spend money anywhere else. I don't know if she pays her parents for rent or whatever. So, and this is new, like they just started doing this. So they don't know what's gonna happen when a new boyfriend comes in the picture for mom

or a new girlfriend comes in the picture. Does the girlfriend get to go over too and stay in the family home? Probably. So how does that work? You know? So, because they don't, they're not, I mean, as far as I know, they're not Christians or anything. So they just live by their own set of rules. But they, they both were kind of like, we don't know. Cause if you allow a girlfriend to come over, then you have to be okay with

like a boyfriend coming over. It has to be fair. And this is where things get really mucky. So right now it's best case scenario the kids get to stay in their beds they go home every single day from school to the same home but how long does this last? Man it should last for forever because that's it so this is so this is only one story that you've heard of so that's the first time you've ever heard of it. And I've read in the comments, and I believe there were people that said like, yeah, we tried this,

but I don't know if there is no other thing. Or like most people were in full agreement that this is like the best thing ever to do for their kids. I never heard of this before in my life. It should be like court ordered. Oh my gosh, yes. Can you? Just for the kids.

Just for the kids, yeah, it's not their fault. That's right. That's, right. That's exactly what I thought. I'm like, why should they be punished? Why should they bear the burden of going, and they are. They're tossed to and from home to home. And like, especially with a firefighter's schedule, I can imagine that's very difficult

because he's on a couple days, off a couple days, on a couple, like how do you do that with kids? Like, so like with mine, my ex is a cop, off a couple days, on a couple. How do you do that with kids? So with mine, my ex was a cop. And so his preference was that they were with him every night he was off. And I didn't like that, because that meant one week, he's on two days, and then off two days, and then on three days. And the next week, it's the complete opposite.

So a week to week was never consistent. Consistent. So I was like, no, we're not doing that. And so we just kept it. They went to his house after school for a couple hours. And then they were with me basically every night. And then they were just, they were so little, they would just come home, do homework, take a shower, eat,

go to bed. And so we figured out how to do something like that. But it's, yeah, I mean, they were all over the place. For the most part, they went to his house after school and then my house they slept at except like every other weekend. So we had a pretty consistent schedule. But it's still tough on them, you know? Yeah.

It really is. Very much so. That's crazy. So I think this is a great idea. I think just blacked out. Oh, it did. Okay. But I do. I think this is a great idea. I think just blacked out. Oh, it did. Okay. But I do, I think this is a really great idea.

That is wild. That is wild. Actually, we're closing out in seven seconds if you don't want to even worry about it, but you might need to do something with that. So very interesting, very interesting. I say, my opinion is best idea ever ever. Vanessa, your say? Yeah, I think it should be court ordered. I think they should be like the baseline for

every family that is going through divorce. If you knew that that's how it was gonna have to be before you got married. You would think twice. You might think twice. And if you're a cheater, you might keep your penis in your pants or your legs closed. True. Because it's gonna cost you a lot of money. It is very expensive. It really is.

Child support's no joke. Yeah, so maybe just make it work. I don't know. That's pretty wild. How do we change laws, guys? Should we write to our governor? Santa's a pretty wild idea. Yeah. Yep. And obviously Tracy's fully in full force for it. So well thank you guys for joining me and the Peanut Gallery on the whole pot line. We will see you on Wednesday of next week. In the meantime, it's Palm Sunday, correct? So happy Palm Sunday to everybody. And then-

Hosanna, hosanna. Yeah. If you don't know what that means, well, I don't know what to tell you. Get saved. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you. I mean, I can talk about it later, but. That's right, girl.

Hosanna, hosanna in the highest. So see you on Sunday. Tune into the Foundation Church. If you don't have a church home, tune in and watch us and have a great weekend. It's beautiful out. Spring is here. Summer is on its way.

And man, bye-bye to winter. Bye-bye. I'm okay with that. See ya. So see ya on Sunday. Thank you for joining us. We'll see you on Wednesday of next week. Bye.

["Real Talk"]