The Hope Hotline - How Do You Fight Fairly Or Biblically With Your Spouse? | S02-E32 | 05-22-2024

Episode Date: May 25, 2024

The Hope Hotline | S02-E32 | 05-22-2024

Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. It's Wednesday and welcome to the Hope Hotline. I feel Hispanic right now. I feel a little bit like Vanessa. What?

Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican. Vanessa. What? Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican. Well, Hispanic, Puerto Rican, not really Puerto Rican. Okay. I feel like Mexican. Mexican. But that's not you, Vanessa. No, it's not.

No, she's not. I looked at my shirt and I went, ole! Rule! Or however you say it. Arriba! Arriba. Yeah, I literally saw my shirt in the thing and I went, you look Mexican.

Wow. Not that there's anything wrong with that. No, it's very traditional. Don't I? I look like I should be wearing a sombrero or something right now, right? Don't I look like I should be wearing a sombrero? It looks like you're ready for a vacation.

Like it's time to go on our cruise. Yeah, resort. Resort cruise wear. Oh, I see. You're wearing cruise wear. go on our cruise. Yeah, resort. Resort cruise wear. You're wearing cruise wear. That's cruise wear. Yeah, something. Like, seriously. This is so bright on here.

Yeah, I know, I know. I just sat down for the most part. I was fighting with my hair so I've been back and forth in the bathroom but I really literally just sat down

and then you guys came on and then I went, oh, my. Here I am. I look Hispanic. Way to go. I wish I had the complexion. Yeah. Yeah. That would be awesome.

That is great. Pale, pasty, and freckled is not a complexion. Oh, my gosh. That's a problem. It's a problem. It's not the best one. Yeah, it's not not a complexion. That's a problem. It is. It's a problem. It's not the best one. It's not the best complexion. That's for sure. That's so funny.

But you know what? It's what God gave me. It is so pretty. You know Tom said when he prayed for like or he thought who he'd marry was not me. I knew you were going to say that. It was not me. I was you were going to say that. I knew you were going to say that.

It was not me. I was like, oh, like a fair complexion. Like I was like, no. What was it? It'd be somebody Hispanic.

Oh my God. He likes olive complected, like dark haired. I'm opposite to everything the man wanted. I think a taller, more athletic woman.

Not me. He definitely got the opposite. I think a taller, more athletic woman. Not me. He definitely got the opposite. I think that's why he kept breaking up with me three times. He probably did. Because he kept thinking, surely she's out there.

This isn't it. Surely she's out there. No, she wasn't. Wait, so the other... It's pasty, white, freckled hope. The other girls he dated, were they Hispanic

when he was breaking up with you? No. They were white girls. They were... Yeah, one girl... No, one girl was a model. She was blonde. She was really pretty. he dated were they hispanic when he was breaking up with you uh no white girls they were yeah one girl like no one yeah one girl was a model she was blonde she's really pretty what yeah what another girl uh she was what she's a whitey too but she had dark hair olive complected but okay oh she was definitely white listen i thought i thought I was going to marry a black man. So did I.

So did I. So did I. So did I. That's all right. I couldn't never let you marry a black man. It was a basketball. Hey, listen. It's not true. Once you go black, you never go back.

That's not true. Oh, my. I can tell you that right now. Well. But I can say that about other nationalities because I've dated them too. I don't think you can. Who cares? What?

I don't think you can say that. Either way. Why can't you? Oh my God. Why can't you say that? When you say once you go black, you never go back, there's certain things that you're insinuating there. Is that what I'm saying?

No. Okay. No. We'll clear the air. We'll clear the air we'll clear the air clear the air you mean like dating yeah okay oh my gosh yeah the usually when you say that it's like a little bit more our generation when you say that that means like back in my generation they probably said that too but i don't care right well we'll just clear there that's what you mean by it evidently somebody's mind's in the gutter and mine is definitely not yours is definitely pure my first time ever for the first time ever holy crap but I will be honest with you yeah like like my kids they were even Tom like we

I'm shocked that they've dated white because all of us are like very ethnic oh very ethnic like we go to the river and we're like

looking at the drummer that came here he's so cute he's such a good looking black man I said to Norma right there girl right there

all day long she he is hot Norma don't care either but neither does tom tommy's first crush ever was jennifer hutch hutcherson hutchinson hutchinson yeah hutchinson she's a beautiful girl she is yeah but i was like you go boy yeah there for a while i was like thinking i'm gonna have some great interracial children. I know. Beautiful children. That, yes. No, they both like whiteys. I know.

Like, so I don't think my hopes are too high in that. But whatever. Yep. Whatever. Got to do what you got to do. Okay. So we've had like, we've exposed a lot of things all in the first five minutes. Yes.

Four minutes. More than 10 seconds. Yeah yeah the three of us three of us have exposed ourselves completely who cares i don't care i mean yeah pretty much knew it already um but yeah i'm not i'm not who tom thought he would win mary he thought he would thought he i think he thought he would marry ethnic that did not not happen. No. At all. At all. I'm opposite of all of that. Except for right in here. That's true.

Right in here, girl. That's true. Something special. Something's going on in there. I just don't know what. But one minute I'm one thing, the next minute I'm another. I can flow. Oh, my God.

You can. I can flow. I'm like Paula White. I can turn it on. I can turn it off. Amen. You know what I'm talking about, Paula White? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Back in the day, I closed You know what I'm talking about, Paula White? Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. Back in the day, I closed my eyes and I'm like, that's a black woman. Yeah. Open my eyes and she's pasty white like me. Yep. I know. Blonde, pasty white.

She's something special. She's something special. And in a good way. Yeah. For real. Okay. So we had some wonderful things happen this weekend for Tracy and we're going to share them with you guys did you catch my note yeah I did god bless you you're ready I know I

meant to tell you but like and this is happening for um other families yeah I know and then like next year it's happening for Sarah right yeah yeah you already got two graduate graduates correct so next year Sarah's got one this year Tracy had two let's go girl let's show everybody so this is the official official picture so that was right after they got their diploma because some people don't know what your kids look like no so Kylie is on the left and Mackenzie's on the right. Kylie is 13 minutes older than Mackenzie, so she claims that all the time. And then outside it was 9,000 degrees, but they got their little flowers.

They don't look hot. I mean, they're hot girls, like as in beauty, but they don't look like they're warm at all. I was dripping sweat. And then that's the whole family minus Allison because she did not want to come at all. Oh, I had a picture of my parents too. And then I have a couple of their senior pics. Yeah, let's do it.

Do you want me to show that? Okay. This is right while you were gone. This is where I traveled to. And you left us. Yes, I left them. So we went and basically went to like South Carolina, like right on the edge.

We went to Georgia. South Carolina was the waterfall. And then this is Georgia with the blue dress on. So pretty. And then we just walked all around. So it was really fun. And then Kenzie's was a little bit more crazy because we just walked all around. So it was really fun. And then Kenzie's was a little bit more crazy cause we went kind of everywhere.

So she did like Vegas out west, out west. Yes. And then a Valley of fire and then Zion national park. Where did you find the trucks? Uh, it was just on the way out of Zion. It was just right there.

So it was really cool. Is it a food truck? It sure the heck looks like a food truck. It was just a truck, like a old truck just parked right by a little like store. And it was really cool. Is it a food truck? It sure the heck looks like a food truck. No, no, it was just a truck, like an old truck just parked right by a little store. And it was super cute. And then yesterday, or Monday, they had their graduation party,

and Galena, who's an avid watcher, made this beautiful backdrop for us. She always does a great job. She does. If anybody ever needs a backdrop, I know. I just told her the colors and she ran with it and it's like perfect.

So thank you so much, Galena. And then Nick, you know Nick and Kate. Yeah, hello. They made us the paella with our beautiful girl, Vanessa. It's not even a food truck. They literally cook on these open pots, but they bring it in and then they

cook the paella and then so yeah of course but like it's so cool like this open like big shallow pot and like this is what it looks like a little bit easier to see and it's called fire and rice and i don't even know how to describe it except spanish paella so uh vanessa do you know how to do that do you know how to describe what that is myself but i'm i'm pretty sure I can figure it out. Yeah, okay. Oh my gosh, I have two containers in my, I'm not sharing. I know Nick told me to have Tom have some.

I'm not. I'm not sharing. I refuse. We had a lot. We had a lot left over. That's fine. I'm just saying. It's so good.

It is. I've already had some. I love it. Yeah. You have to. I got some left over. It's so fresh. And like the rice or whatever, that green is like a special one that you can only get

like in France or something. I don't know. He has it shipped over here. Yes. I heard the whole thing. Spain. Spain. Spanish.

Yeah. That makes sense. I was like, for some reason, I never connected the dots, but now I am. It's the hair color. It's okay. It's all right, girl. It's going to be all right. We've had a whole graduation weekend, and my parents were here,

and I did have their picture. I'm going to tell you right now. Yeah. Tell me right now. Okay. You're brothers. Yeah. I haven't really talked to DJ before.

Yeah. Still haven't. He's super sweet, but he's just quiet. He is. Oh, yeah. Always has been. Doug. Doug.

Doug. Doug is not quiet. Me and Doug, right there. I know. I know. But on top of that, they know how to pick women. Yeah, I know. They should teach a class.

Okay. I'm not kidding you. I'm not either. I should have them come on the podcast. Okay. They know how to pick women. They really do. I mean, Kayla known doug since she was like three so it's kind of like i don't know poor kayla you know that is that that's rough i ain't gonna like it for her to still be around

from from age three that's saying something that's saying something but i'm just saying like yeah there should be a class and if there was they should be the teachers because both of them yeah know how to pick good yeah godly like those girls are you're so dang lucky oh i know trust me i know i have thought about that so many times like i'm like tracy is so stinking lucky that she has the sister-in-laws that you do. But it comes from the boys picking so wisely. They did. They really did.

They did so good. You're lucky. I know. They should teach a class. Okay. That's why I like hanging out with them because they're always there. I just love them. I know.

You're blessed, girl. Your mother is blessed. That was next. Yep. I know. My're blessed, girl. Your mother is blessed. I know. That was next. Yep. I know. My dad, too. He loves them so much.

Yeah, but your dad, let me just say, God bless. Your mom, how can you not love? But your dad, he's something special. He is. I love picking on that man. But he's his own person. He is his own person. So in spite of that,

where it came from, I guess. Exactly. So in spite of him being his own person, he still has amazing daughter-in-law. He does. He does. Exactly. No, I love him.

He's a great man. I know. He's a great man. He really is. He loves Jesus. Your family's an awesome family. But that was a great time. Yeah.

You had, I'm so happy for you. Two down, one more to go. Yeah, I mean, Alexis is next. But we have two years for that. She's so quiet, I forget about her. I know, and then Allison, that'll be, we got a while. And Alexis is like, now where does she want to go to get her pictures taken? I don't know.

She's a beautiful girl. We haven't even got there yet. Listen, I need a little bit of pressure, so everything's a little last minute with us. That is true. A little bit of urgency. That is true. You want to run through our thing, and then we'll get going?

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She's back home. So she's really ready for the cruise. She's back home. She's back home. So she's really ready for the cruise. Yeah, I bet. And then Anne-Marie's on here and she loves your shirt. Colorful and pretty, she said. Hope. Thank you, darling. And then we've got Talia in the comments, of course.

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So just remember the end of June, we will be having that and we'll make sure we get more information to you guys and I'll have the right one up next week. And last but not least, we have our Victorious Conference coming up. It's amazing. People are working so hard on it already. Make sure you're saving the date of August 22nd to the 24th and start thinking of your outfits. This is the color.

This is the theme. And so it's always fun to have a little theme to dress up to and do all that fun stuff. So that's that for today. That is good. Super excited about all those things. We've got a lot of things in the works for that. So it's going to be fun.

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the conference is going to be really good. So, we have some great stuff planned. Ready for the first question? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay, so the first question is how do you fight fairly or biblically with your spouse? If you're not married, don't turn it off

because you're going to say, I'm not married, so this doesn't apply to me. You will be married someday, probably. And maybe you're divorced, and maybe you didn't fight fairly, so maybe you need to listen to this in case you ever get remarried. There you go.

You never know. You never know. People, I have seen more, I mean, I've seen more people, more people fight incorrectly than fight correctly. And more people love fighting than they love harmony. I really feel like that. They feel like if, I feel like people feel like if they don't have, it's like it becomes like a game playing thing for people getting mad at each other, making up.

And it's like kind of like a game because they lack intimacy or the affection that they should be getting. But when there's an argument and then there's makeup, then that affection and that kind of intimacy that they're wanting is there. Does that make sense, ladies? Yeah, there's like that extra attention on them in that moment. They're like actually getting something versus nothing. Yes, and so it becomes a habit to argue, fuss, and fight

so that there is, it becomes a game of some sort. Or it's like, I've known people who are so critical that they turn on one another and they're always trying to be one up on each other. Always like, they're the better one. Or they're always trying to catch each other in something. That is a very dangerous way to have a relationship. Because eventually you're not going to be able to stand one another. And really, we're to live in harmony with one another.

I mean, you pick this person because you love them. And then the most outside of God, they're going to be the most important thing in your life. And oftentimes we treat them as though they're the least important person or that we treasure or that we care about. A lot of times you see, you can basically see it in marriages where the lights are kind of off with both people or one of them. And they're just going through the motions. And that's, marriage is so sweet and so good and if you looked at it like jesus does uh the church and you treated each other like jesus does the church then you would have a phenomenal marriage but i mean let's go to let's go to uh philippians 2 14 and we just talked about

this uh scripture like i don't know, was it last week? I don't know if it was Wednesday or Thursday. If you implement this one scripture, just this one scripture in your marriage, it will turn it around to be very successful. It says, do all things without complaining and disputing. If you live that scripture out, I mean, I'm not even telling you to do that with your friends, which you should. But if you do just this one scripture in your marriage, watch out.

Because it'll radically, radically change everything. Amen. radically change everything. I oftentimes think that people fight and argue. First of all, people don't even know that scripture exists in the Bible. Yeah. So that's part of the problem. That is. Yep.

True. Sarah wants to say something. No, that's true. I agree. No complaining or disputing? Yep, it's in there. Most people don't even know it. And so, again, it goes back to the promises. You don't have the promises because you don't know they exist,

so you don't know to ask for them. Right. But you don't live a certain lifestyle because you don't, it's like people are hearers of the word. They're not doers of the word, right? So in this instance, you haven't even heard it before. So you're not doing it either. But people don't crack that baby open to even know what it, there's such a great guideline, such a great instructional manual with the Bible. It is a bunch of do's and don'ts, but it's also a bunch of, I'm going to do this for you, and I'm going to do that for you. And you know what? I got something better for you. Trust me.

I mean, there's just so many great things in the word and most people just focus on it's rule-based it's not rule-based it's protection-based it's boundaries for your safety and it's and who doesn't i mean once you become a parent you really realize the reasons you set boundaries and perimeters for your, for your children is because of out of love and caution and protection for them. And, um, as,

and then, and then we forget as parents that that's actually what God's doing for us with the word. So, but until you become a parent, sometimes you don't even realize that. And even after you become a parent, you still think it's a bunch of rules.

It's not a bunch of rules. It's a bunch of things out there to help you, but also to propel you to be something greater than you believe in yourself to be. And so, I mean, and that's another thing. We as parents, we're obviously always striving to speak into our, if we're a good parent, we're speaking into our children and motivating them and trying to pull out of them what is a God-given gift and make that a better,

or make them better by utilizing that and then taking it to the next level. It's like what Sarah was saying maybe two weeks ago, as a teacher, that's one of the things that she would do. She would look at her students and look at them individually, and she would pull out of them what they were good at, maybe that they didn't even know they were good at, and then she would see a radical change from them within the year. As a good parent, that's what we're doing. But God's doing the same thing with us.

He's trying to radically change us through the word. Yeah. So, but I just find that just like people in life, they do this in their marriage as well, which I would say is insane. Like people who are spiritually bored or just they're not saved. A lot of times they find entertainment and the way the world deals and handles things. So what they do is when they're spiritually bored, they take things out on people. They say things that they shouldn't say to people.

And they like to stir things up. Even in their own marriages, they like stirring it up. And I'm like, you're nuts. You're crazy. Of all places you don't want to stir something up in, it's your marriage. That should be sacred and untouchable.

A lot of times because you have a family, you have children. And if you don't, you might in the future. So you might want to have that thing be on strong ground, like not sinking sand. And so I have a list of things that I've made, and then I'm going to have the girls give their two cents. But I have a list of things for you to do if you want

to have a fair fight, a biblically based fight. This is what you should do. First, mind your words. People don't mind their words. They say whatever the heck is in here, out this thing right there. And we are warned about our tongue. life and death is held in it you want death to come to your marriage speak death over it never use the word divorce ever that is not on the table should never be even a thought in the mind if you take captive of every thought because if you start thinking what will life be like if i didn't have to deal with this person eventually it gets planted in the heart and then it's out of the mouth, out of the abundance of the heart. The mouth speaks.

So whatever you plant here is coming in here and then coming out there. You got to be very careful which you allow your mind to even conceive. So don't even think about divorce and don't even talk about it. It should never be something that is even muttered or uttered. Okay? No name calling. Like, when I say no name calling, I'm even saying, like, don't call him a jerk. Don't, I mean, people will be like, jerk's not so bad.

Yeah, it is. Like, don't, I, Tom has never called me one name and I've never called him one name. I'm not saying we have the greatest marriage, but we have a dang good marriage. We don't fight. We don't argue. And there's something to be said for that because Tom and I,

and I think because we got married older, because when you're younger, you're an idiot. Hello. I was an idiot. So when you're like 25, that's when the light bulb comes on and you're like, okay, I know nothing. I am nothing. Without God, I'm going to be nothing. So you realize, I'm not that smart.

So you start, since you know that you're not smart, you kind of like do things differently. But being older and getting married older did really help. So one of the things that he and I always did is we were very conscious about the things that we said to one another, especially when you're angry. Don't say anything. Tom will make fun and say the cold winds are blowing in the Lively House. Okay, well that's because neither one of us are talking i mean we're very we'll say things to each other but it'll be very minimal until we can talk about whatever the situation is and do it in a very calm kind way no condescension i mean being

condescending to your spouse or your kids is damaging. It is damaging. They do not deserve it. And you don't deserve it being spoken to you. So that's one of the things I have on there. Do not be condescending. Say nothing that you'll regret. You can't take it back.

So if you say something you regret, that's going to be something that that person tries to forget or will remember forever. No yelling. No yelling. Now, I did not do that with my kids. But Tom and I do not yell at each other. Do not yell.

Talk calmly. If you can't talk calmly, don't talk at all. Just wait. There's something to be said for waiting. The Bible is very clear. A fool uttereth all its thoughts, but a wise man is slow to speak. Be slow to speak. You don't have to like resolve it right now because if you resolve it right now, you might say things and you might do things that you regret and that's not worth it. And remember, you got kids and they see everything you do. And if you want them to do what you do,

fight, fuss and argue in front of them. And that's the kind of marriage that they potentially will have. So be very careful about when you have these discussions how you have them and who you have them in front of very important we damage our kids by arguing in front of them and it's not good but I would say this applies to your kids which I was not good at. I did every single thing right there that I told you not to do. I did every single thing right there to my kids. Your friends,

your co-workers and ladies, what do you say? So I have a question. Yeah. Why was it harder for you to do that for your kids versus Tom? Is it the way that he responded versus how they responded? No, it's because I treasure and I guard that relationship with Tom. And I find it more valuable. That's just the truth. There's more value in that relationship with Tom. It's not that he's easier to love. That's not it.

But I love him way more than I love my kids. That's just the truth. But I also know that however that relationship is with Tom will affect my kids and their future and how they

have relationships. I see I'm a forward thinker. I'm always thinking like, what does this do later on in life? Because once in my life, when I was very young, that's not how I thought. I just thought, it feels good, I'm gonna do it, and it's only affecting me.

And it doesn't just affect you, it affects everyone around you that loves you and calls you a friend or a family member. And I learned from just being an idiot once in my life that think more than just in this moment and what this will do a year from now, tomorrow, two years, 10 years. And so for me, I knew if I value and I hold that relationship with Tom very closely and I treat it, I protect it with everything. So if I did that, I knew my kids would probably be very stable and they would be very spiritually strong.

And because of that, it paid off. But I still should have done it with them. It's just i hated them more often than like they drove me nuts i didn't hate them but i literally wanted to pound them into the dirt a few times every now and then not norma tommy norma was easy tommy is like he's he's he's headstrong he's like yeah he's like, he's a good boy. I mean, he was a good boy. Like, I never had problems with my kids.

They never said they hated me. They never like really back-talked me. They never yelled at me. Like, I didn't deal with a lot of what parents did. But I didn't put up with it either. Right. Like, if I gave the look, that stopped it. That nipped it in the bud. Yeah. And they knew, don't put up with it either right like if I gave the look that stopped it that nipped it in the bud yeah and they knew don't cross that line because if you cross the line

we're going there like my kids they sat in church if they were supposed to sit in church they sat in church and they didn't talk I didn't have to give them a book and a piece. No. You're sitting here. That's how I grew up. So it's training. But that training is not easy. And that training sometimes makes you just like, I can't stand. Give me a break. I just need a break. But I homeschooled them. They were around me all

the time. And we didn't wherever we went, they went. We didn't have babysitters we went, they went. We didn't like have babysitters. And every now and then we did. But for the most part, we loved being around. We wanted to be around each other all the time. But there are times where it's just too much.

Too much time. And you do need a break. I remember going into the bathroom going, oh my gosh, I think I'm going to kill them. I just need 10 minutes, God. Or I'm going into the bathroom going, oh, my gosh, I think I'm going to kill him. I just need 10 minutes, God. Or I'm going to kill them. I might be one of those women. Oh, my gosh. They might die.

Your prison ministry. Yeah. It was never that bad. But I was just like, you know, sometimes you just every person has their moment where you just need a break. And even though mine weren't that often, they were more than they ever should have been. It never should have been like that. If I was spiritually the way I was supposed to be,

that never would have happened. I would have handled every situation as a godly woman and godly mother. But I failed. Thank God they still love me in spite of all that. Because they were still kids. And some of it's their fault. But ultimately, mine because i'm the adult in the room yeah so um but yeah i did not i did not perform well with my kids in some in some ways but they're but they're great kids they are and i have never had to deal with hardly anything from them so that's what was

hard it was the consistency to like oh wait you like you are always making sure that you're correcting them. And that's what made it hard. Yeah. OK. Because a lot of times parents aren't consistent. Right. I know.

Almost always. Yes. And consistency will make you want to take a gun out and blow your brains out. Being consistent, you might commit suicide. I know. And that's why people give up is because it's exhausting. Right. It's exhausting.

I remember calling my mother up, not for Norma. Again, Norma was pretty much, you just had to look at Norma and she fell into a puddle. That was Mackenzie. She's easy. Yeah. But Tommy, I remember I would call my mom. I still call my mom every day, but it was quite frequent.

I call my mom up and go, when do you not have to spank like 100 times a day? Oh, my gosh. Well, me and my brother were horrible. We were the kids you had to spank, and there was two of us. Oh, my gosh. There's four kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think she would say something like, it's going to be a long time. From personal that's gonna it's gonna be a long time from personal experience my kid tommy came by it naturally okay he's he's definitely he's a lot of tom but he's got a lot of me we're both we both do not quit. Like, you can sit on us and tell us to cry for mercy. I'm not crying for mercy. I'm not. I might starve to death while you're sitting on me. I'm not quitting. So he's like that.

He does not quit. Okay. But you guys go ahead. Yeah. Vanessa, go ahead. We're like a lot like you and Tom. We just don't fight. I can't remember the last time we had a fight. But one thing we did early on is like we identified our hills that we were going to die on. Okay. And if something happens and it wasn't on that hill, we let it go.

Yeah. There's not that much that's worth fighting over. No. And it's like, and we also don't like, once we deal with an issue, we don't bring it up and we don't use word, our words to hurt each other. Yeah. Period. So it's, it's, it's really that easy. It's simple, but not easy. It sounds so simple. It is simple. But here's the problem. Here's the problem. And I can the problem and i can think of i can think of a couple things yeah um if you are a person that battles being submissive what are you pointing at you talia if you battle being submissive then it's going to be hard yeah for sure it will be oh 100 if you're if you're married to somebody who's not saved which there's people on here i i

just know it i sense it there are people that are listening to this and they're like yeah it's easy for you to save your husband's not saved and the f word flies out of his mouth every five minutes okay and i get that that is true but you still are responsible for you and you can still fight fair so it really boils down to like your perspective and how you're going to turn it around and how obedient you're going to be like there are things that you there are things that you're submissive but you make sure that the person understands where you stand. Right. Because I'm like that.

I'm like, okay, before, before we move forward on this, let me just make it abundantly clear. Right. This is how I feel. Yeah.

Yeah. Now you do what you want to do and there'll be no repercussions for me. Yeah. But you need to know. Right. One more time. Right. This is how I feel. Yeah. Yes. And thank God Tom's like that. But you need to know. Right. One more time. Right. This is how I feel.

Yeah. Yes. And thank God Tom's like that. But you know what? I think about, like, what I'm thinking about right now that comes to my head

is, and I'm not going to reveal too much, but Sarah was trying to make her husband understand something which she could have, it should have, could have gone into a fight. And she might not remember what I was saying this,

when I'm telling the story, you might not remember it. But what you did is the Holy Spirit made you, instead of it going to a fight, the Holy Spirit made you make him understand his value. So he didn't take what you were saying the wrong way. Do you understand what I'm saying? Normally something would have been like this. And instead the Holy Spirit,

which I'm telling you, the Holy Spirit doesn't just do it for her. He does it for me. He'll do it for them. But he did, you know, he implemented it in this situation. And then there was no arguing. There was no fight.

Do you know what I'm saying, Sarah? Do you remember what I'm talking about? You don't't have to reveal it i'm just saying that's what derrick are you watching derrick derrick no somebody tagged derrick right now but that's like that's what i'm talking about that's how you can look at a situation and you can either be carnal with it or you can deal with it the way the holy spirit tells you it's always carnal when it's a fight you can. Two people have to fight. One person can't just fight, so there has to be two people fighting.

I was the one that sent in that first question. You and Tom never fight. It was one of the first podcasts we did. How was that possible? I don't remember that. That was one of the first questions. You were like, yeah, we never fight. I know how strong will both of you are. How'm like how is that even possible like how do you never

fight have you never called names and so you I don't know if it was that one or at some point during the podcast you said at the end of the day I'm responsible for the way that I react yes and and and that like in eternity you're responsible for how you submitted. And so that was like, Oh, okay. Like that helped. It just, it just, you know, Tom helped me with that. And then we'll let Sarah talk. But Tom helped me with that because there was one time that I really didn't agree with him about something. And, um, and I remember him saying to me, it's like him saying like, if I get this wrong, right. And this is early in our marriage, him saying, like, if I get this wrong. Right. And this is early in our marriage. But he's like, if I get this wrong, I'm going to answer to God for it.

But you need to know, like, how if you say you submit, how you submit is how you answer to God for it. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's very true. Right. So I was like, OK, well, you know what? I don't want to answer to God. Exactly. So even though I don't agree. Right. So I was like, okay, well, you know what? I don't want to answer to God. So even though I don't agree, right. You're right. You do have to answer to God,

but I'm going to answer to God. I'm not going to answer to God for me not doing it the correct way. So that like stuck with me forever. I'm like, okay, you have decisions to make chick. Yep. Make the right ones.

Right. Right. So, but Sarah, go ahead. When she said that this was the question today, I was like,

maybe you could give me the questions ahead of time. Like, today's not the day. Sarah, Are you fighting? Sarah missed the mark today. But,

you know, there's such a difference from where, where things were a couple of years ago. Yeah. But even like, yeah, but I feel like that has a lot to do with it. Yeah.

Like if you're married to somebody who's not saved, it has a lot to do with it. It really does. So some of this does not, does not apply. Vanessa's, they're both safe. Vanessa and Jeff. She's strong-willed.

She's learning. Do you know what I'm saying? It's true. No, it's true. I will say this, though. What you mentioned earlier about, like, pointing out something positive. I'm burying Tracy right now, just so you know.

Vanessa just said Tracy's not saved. Because Tracy's not saved said Tracy's not saved. Because Tracy's not saved. Tracy's not saved. She just hasn't won the victory in being submissive. But she's working on it. I've left the dock. That's all we can ask. But Jared's really hoping that that ship comes in real soon.

He is. He might have to row out there to meet the ship. It also says submit yourselves one to another. It does. It does say that. I like that. Yeah. Because especially like we own businesses together too.

So it's like we work together. We're married. We're raising kids together. It's like. Yeah. Everything. We're together all the time. That was my excuse for why I treated my children like I did.

Well, that's what, I mean, you said it, not me. But you were reading from Philippians 2, the verse that you had, but if you go earlier in the chapter, it says, and this is in the Amplified, do nothing from factional motives through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends, or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Ow! Instead, in the true spirit of humility, lowliness of mind, let each regard the others as better

than and superior to himself, thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves. So that's hard for me because I think so very highly of myself. Yeah, which is a great, listen, that's a great trait to have. Because most people don't. And you ought not to. I disagree. It's just when you do it. I disagree.

Because I do too. And I think a lot of people walk around thinking so lowly of themselves true that very few people think highly of themselves true but I know who I am in Christ and that's part of the reasons why

I think like I do about myself and I know how to play a tambourine too and you ain't doing it at Foundation Church or at Abide I'm just saying Foundation Church. Or at Abide. I'm just saying. I told her yesterday she didn't play tambourine very well, so I think I hurt her feelings a little bit. Oh, wow.

That was rude. Did you used to play a tambourine? Did you used to play tambourine, Vanessa? Yes. Oh, she's a professional. I grew up in a very small Pentecostal church. When you walked into the place, they

handed you an instrument. How many people went to this place? That's why I want to start a church. I'm just saying, that place must not have had too many people attending it. No, there was like 50 of us. That's why. I was either the tambourinist or the maracas. I can do a good maraca.

I can see that. That makes sense. Bongos. That makes complete sense. Bongos. They had no band. So the people who attended were the band. And no worship leader.

You got your position every Sunday. So for the next Sunday, they would like, okay, Miss Vanessa would be leading worship next week. No, it was wild. It was like the wild wild west. That is wild wild west. Oh my word. That's not good, people. I'm just telling

you. That's not good. It was sweet. It was sweet. It was a really sweet time. That's why she's here. She's five years old. She's five years old banging out the tambourine oh my gosh listen that's nice i don't know about that i'm not i'm not even gonna say what's came to my mind but um finish up where were you finish up little because i think so highly of myself that's it doesn't mean that it's impossible to think of others higher than myself no it's because above myself and in humility humbling myself even though I know my worth because humility doesn't mean that you're saying you're you have no worth it's just

I guess releasing your right to whatever it is you think that you are entitled to yeah and so when i maybe i know the right answer to something but if i can like god's got my back that's the other thing is like if i am going to submit and in this particular situation today it was like he was trying to talk to me about a part for and I'm like I don't listen now I'm like he is in this situation higher than me yeah he knows about the parts he knows what he's I have no idea right so I stopped and I said to him you know you talk a lot about not being smart I said but right now what you're doing I have no idea about any of this. And he, and his whole countenance changed. And he was like, oh yeah, I am like, I do,

I do know what I'm talking about. Like, yeah, you're right. And building each other up, like not having an agenda and tearing down. And I'm not always good at it because I feel like, well, I know what's best and like, this is how it's going to go. But it's also breaking strongholds from the last 20 years of me wearing the pants in the family and making literally everything that's going to happen. I was the one making it happen. Like nothing would have happened. You can still be all that and him still and still submit.

Because there's been times that I've had to do like all of that stuff because Tom was like Derek out like. Yeah. Like goes from working a detail back to going to shift, working a detail, back to shift. Because, and so somebody had to, he was working. So somebody had to make the home run. But when he came home and when decisions, final decisions had to be made, he made them. And that's the thing.

So it's possible to still be able to run everything and still allow him to be the priest of the home. That's tough, learning how to do that. When there's no desire to be the one to make the decisions, that's where it gets difficult. It's tough. Because I want to let him make the decisions, and he just doesn't feel confident enough yet. We're getting there.

But for women that are in your shoes, what I would strongly suggest, because there are a lot of women that are in your shoes, what I would strongly suggest, because there are a lot of women that are with men who have no desire to be the priest of the home. But that's where you got. Maybe you just you're going to have to make them be the priest of the home. And because biblically speaking, that's the way it's supposed to be. So when decisions have to be made, that's when you say, here's A, B and C. Which one do you want to do?

And they're like, I don't know. And you're like, well, it's A, B and C. And you're the priest of the home. So you're going you want to do? And they're like, I don't know. And you're like, well, it's A, B, and C, and you're the priest in the home, so you're going to need to do it. They're like, I still don't know. That's when you go, okay, we'll do this together, but I'm not making the decision. You're ultimately, this is, you're going to hear my opinion.

You'll ultimately make the decision because you're going to answer to God. So that's what the word says. And then you give it to them. And that's probably where you're at right now, but a lot of women don't even know how to get there so you have when you're having to do that stuff because sometimes i and that's when i'm with tom if there's certain things that need to be decided then i'm like okay here's where we're at now what do you want to do and then he decides and then

that's the way it goes so it's not all of a sudden he just takes over the whole entire thing, ladies. It's not how it works. It's you still may be doing a lot, but you're bringing everything to him. It's like Tom always says, I'm the president, like hope is the president. I'm the CEO. And when you look at a CEO, ultimately in a company makes all the decisions, but the president is allowed to make some decisions, but the, but the ones that like are, they got to like really the rubber meets the road. Then the president takes it to the CEO and the CEO makes the final say.

And that's really like there's the day to day. You don't need to bother the CEO. Yeah. But when big things come, he needs to be heavily involved. Yeah. But when big things come, he needs to be heavily involved. Yeah. So let's go to our sponsor. Okay. People, stop the press. Stop the press. We have our first sponsor. Okay, just so you know, I've been praying in. I have my What I believe for for 2024. I have a list that I pray over almost every single day. This was one of them that we would have sponsors. Yeah. Well, we have one. Yes. So I'm on my way to the S of plural. Yeah. But and then Pastor Rodney stood in agreement with me because at the

very beginning of the year, he's like, what do you want? And I said, I want my 2024 When I Believe in 4 list. Because he said, he told everybody, make a list and go into the following year. So God answers prayer. Another one. Marked off the list. Amen. I'm just crossing them suckers off, people.

Of course you are. I am. So let's show everybody who our first sponsor is because some of you at some point I'm telling you, you're going to need it. Go ahead. Our first sponsor is Laura Keller and the Real Estate Appraisal Associates of Southwest Florida Inc. And she's

pretty. So cute. She's a tiny little thing. I know. Her family, they attend Foundation Church. Just so happens. Just so happens. Which I'm very happy about. She's been in business since 2005. She has the Florida State Certified Residential Appraiser.

She's been a certified appraiser for Florida for 24 years. She has three locations. Lakewood Ranch, Port Charlotte, Tampa. We know people in Tampa. And they have a fourth location in downtown Englewood that they are currently getting up and operating. Laura's passion is for real estate, and it began over 30 years ago. So let me just tell you about this.

Her appraisal firm is trusted. It's one of the most trusted appraisal companies in Southwest Florida. They actually do appraisals and work with or have done over 10,000 appraisals, and they're approved by over 300 banks, lenders, and government entities all over the United States. This girl ain't playing. She is a strong businesswoman. Way to go. She's kind of like us, ladies. lenders and government entities all over the United States. This girl ain't playing. Yeah. She is a strong businesswoman. Way to go.

She's kind of like us, ladies. Hey. She's kind of like us. She knows. Now, if she was only here, we would ask her, do you submit to your husband? Well, that's right. How does that work? Yeah, how does that work?

Because listen, when you're a business person like this, you've been in charge. Yeah. That ain't easy. No. No, for sure. I have to ask her. Yeah her yeah her company let me tell you what she does so you if you need an appraisal and sometimes people think you only need appraisal for real estate that is absolutely positively not true she does appraisals for just about anything she can do residential up to four units they work with fema on the 50 rule wow okay hello yeah we all

know about that they settle help settle estates people don't know that that uh for probate situations they work directly with um with attorneys and things like that um inherited properties where the heir or heirs are not local and they need the appraisal for their attorney for step up in basis appraisals for capital gains taxes, which, hello, Biden is about to try and screw us again on capital gains. And they also provide assistance. Am I allowed to say screw us again? I don't know. But I'm going to say that even in the middle of me giving my 30 second plus plug.

Sorry, Laura, if you didn't like that. It's true, though. They also provide assistance in selling properties. So if you need that, they can help you with that. And I'm just telling you, if you, this is from personal experience. You can turn me back on. This is from personal experience of being a realtor for 10 plus years. Listen, you want to sell.

I used to do CMAs, which is a competitive marketing analysis, right? Me and my mom, we did business for a really long time. And like, I didn't do real estate as a hobby. We worked with Coldwell Banker Corporate. And most years, well, I don't know if any year, we were either a top 5% corporate or top 10% corporate. So we did a lot of lot of business. So I'm not just telling you, I know what I'm talking about. And I'm just telling you, you want to sell your property fast. A CMA is great. But in the market that we're in right now, it's not good. So if you, and she works with a lot of realtors. So if you, which we have her website and we'll give that to you guys the next podcast.

But she has great referrals from realtors and things like that. You want to sell your property fast, get an appraisal. And you'll sell it much faster than, which was what I did, which is a CMA. CMAs are great. But sellers oftentimes believe in appraisal.

And they'll list the price correctly if you have an appraisal versus if you have a CMA. Because they're thinking that's kind of guesswork. You have some here. You have some there. So we're kind of guessing on it. But an appraisal, they can't fight it because that's what the bank's going to use. When they sell your property,

an appraisal is going to be done. And if it doesn't meet the appraised value, the buyer ain't getting a loan. So give her a call. Whether you're selling, whether you're settling on something for, you know, listen, I hate to sound like this, but this is God's waiting room. Florida is God's waiting room, especially the Sarasota County area.

True. So if you need something like that, she's your girl. Sweet. I think we have six minutes. I'm going to dig into this one really fast because although I want to spend some time on it, I don't want to spend too much time on it because believe it or not, this stuff is like, I don't understand.

And when I read the question, then you guys will understand what I'm saying. I don't understand why we are focusing on this kind of stuff more so than on things that are really, I just think it's tantalizing for people. I don't know. What is demonic tongues and can a Christian have demonic tongues?

I know there is a lot of controversy on whether a Christian can be possessed or have demons. I watch a lot of sermons by Evangelist Unkett and other deliverance pastors, and it's very interesting to me. What would I look up in the Bible to find scriptures on the topic for answers and guidance? Okay, I'm going to tell you, I didn't even know that there was

a such thing as a demonic tongue. Did you, girls? No. No. Yes, Sarah did. I have heard of this. Sarah's a girl about town. What the heck?

I didn't know. Now, I know there's denominations that say yes pentecostals the tongues that we speak is demonic right but i did not know there was a legitimate demonic tongue you did know this i've seen videos where it's like they're saying something and the holy spirit is not involved okay um yeah there's youtube. I did not know this, girls. Okay, well, we're going to go. But of course Sarah knows about it. Of course she does.

My worldly little cherub over there. Oh, my gosh. I'm going to add that to my email signature. Worldly cherub. Worldly cherub. Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. So I had to look it up.

It's very interesting. Let's hear it. Because I had no idea. So I had to look it up. It's very interesting. Let's hear it. Because I had no idea. So what did you say? I was asking Sarah, does it have like a specific sound? Like should I be on the lookout for it? Well, listen. It's one of them.

I did not watch it, but apparently it's very deep and it's groaning. Did you hear that? I'm not asking you, did you hear what I just said? I'm saying, Sarah, is that what it sounded like to you um yeah I mean there's all different kinds of sounds Norma's you've heard it oh Norma's heard it in Africa uh well Norma's cast out demons in Africa yes I know that I mean I knew that did, but I didn't know like they were speaking. They speak. Oh, good to know. I mean, I've seen things because I've cast out a couple demons myself,

but there was no, usually in the past, like when I've seen demons, there's a lot of vomit involved. There's not a lot of like, but go ahead. I don't know what else to do. I don't know. I love do. I don't know.

I love you. I've never experienced it in person. But you've seen it. But I've seen it and I had heard of it. Yeah. So like. And Norma, what's it sound like? You're not on.

Go over there really quick. Go over to Sarah and Vanessa's. You are so cute. Look at you with your cute hair. Norma's going to come over there. She's in hiding. It does have a lot of growling. It doesn't sound like

growling. Well, yours didn't. You don't know. Mine didn't. It's a lot of growling in that sense, but they do speak. It doesn't sound like how we speak in tongues. I know that demons can't speak because they did to Jesus, but

it was obviously in a language that he understood. It's a weird sound. I don't know how to really demonstrate. I feel like you can't really demonstrate it, to be honest with you. Unless you're demon-possessed. But there is a lot of vomit and crying and slumber. Let me ask you this, Norma.

Were any of the people that you cast demons out, were they saved? Were they Christians? Not at all. Witches, actually. Witches. Witches. Interesting. Very interesting. Okay. So let's get into this because I've got two minutes,

which I'm going to go over. Good to know, Norma. Yeah, that's so cool. It makes sense. It was a great time. He's the great counterfeit so it would make sense that there would be a counterfeit of course true vanessa yeah language you know what i mean absolutely yeah it's emulating us is what norma said with growling but in a good way obviously yeah That makes sense. Not good at it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So this is what I found on demonic tongues.

And I'm going to read it because I'm not memorizing it. I don't care enough about it. But I do want to answer your question because I care about you. I don't know who you are, but I do care about you. Demonic tongues are also known as glossolalia. I don't know. We're not going to go. Glossolalia. God bless. I don't know. We're not going to go. Glossolalia. God bless.

She didn't even say it one more time. Glossolalia. Normally I look, it makes my computer tell me what it is, but I really didn't care. And I didn't know you would know. But again, my worldly cherub. Glossolalia is a phenomenon where an individual speaks in a language that is not their

native language, often in a state of altered consciousness or trance-like condition. The term demonic refers to the idea that a phenomenon is attributed to demonic or supernatural forces rather than a natural or human ability. Multiple interpretations are provided

or can be given. The concept of demonic tongues is multifaceted and has been interpreted in various ways across different cultures and belief systems. Some possible interpretations include, and here's a list, word number one, Christianity. In Christian tradition, speaking in tongues is often associated with the gift of the Holy Spirit, which is believed to be a manifestation of God's presence and power. However, some Christian denominations and individuals have also attributed demonic tongues to demonic influence or possession. Paganism. So they're saying all these have tongues and then can be considered demonic.

Paganism. In some pagan traditions, speaking in tongues is seen as a way to communicate with spirits, ancestors, or deities. Psychological. Some researchers have attributed demonic tongues to psychological or neurological factors such as altered states of consciousness,

hypnosis, or neurological disorders. Cultural and some cultures speaking in tongues is a form of spiritual expression, trance, or a schematic practice. Examples and cases are what's coming next. The search results provided several examples of demonic tongues, including a YouTube video, which is probably what you watch, Sarah. Correct?

I saw mine on TikTok, but yeah, same, same. Oh my gosh. Same thing. Same, same. A YouTube or TikTok video where a man inhales a gas that causes his voice to drop to an unnatural deep tone leading to comparisons with demonic or possessed voices. A Christian perspective on demonic tongues, which argues that speaking in tongues can be a sign of demonic influence or

possession, which is what some denominations believe about us. A case study of demonic la la la la speaking in tongues, which is what I sounded like, but I was not speaking in my tongue, but it's that gloss. I don't know what it is. Among a congregation of apostolic. Apostolic. Apostolic. Say that for me.

Apostolic. Apostolic. God bless. She's the reader of the group. Always. I was gulping, guys. I was looking down the line. It was there.

And then I merged. Isn't that what you were a part of, Vanessa? I was looking down the line. It was there, and then I merged. Isn't that what you were? I'm fixing my thing. Isn't that what you were? Your group of 50? Were you a part of? I think we were like an umbrella of it. Apostolic. Apostolic. Were you apostolic? Who, me? No, I think we were like

an umbrella of it. Like similar. Like maybe cousins. Yeah, they're all pulling out their tambourines in the maracas. Don't go to an apostolic Pentecostal. Was it Hispanic? Yeah. There you go. It was sweet. It was sweet. Every time.

Okay. Moving on. Which explores the phenomenon as a form of signaling and systems theory. A discussion on the possibility of demonic tongues being a form of demonic possession systems theory. A discussion on the possibility of demonic tongues being a form of demonic possession or influence. The conclusion is, demonic tongues is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon

that has been interpreted in various ways across different cultures and belief systems. While some attribute it to divine or supernatural forces, others see it as a psychological, neurological, or cultural phenomenon. It is essential to approach this topic with an open mind. Nope, not doing it. And consider the diverse perspectives and interpretations that exist.

Not happening. I am not open-minded to this. So before I move on, I would, like, you can't ask questions to a question. But I wish when people gave me, but they don't know I'm going to need to know, or I want to know the same information is, first of all, how long you been saved? A lot of times people who are new in their faith, they get distracted on this nonsense. I'm not saying that's what this is, because I know a lot of seasoned believers that are into this.

So it could be a seasoned believer. But if you're a new believer, don't get into this. Stay away from it. It's a distraction. It is not where your focus needs to be. You need to solidify yourself in your faith. You need to be reading the New Testament over and over and over again and not worry about demon possession.

Worry about that later. You need to figure out, I'm sure whoever this is, if you're seasoned, then hopefully you're doing this, but most people are not. So instead of focusing on demon possession, make sure you're doing this, but most people are not. So instead of focusing on demon possession, make sure you're doing these things. New believer or seasoned believer,

are you winning the lost? On a weekly basis, are you out there talking to people, taking the opportunities that God brings your way to talk to somebody about him and winning the lost? Probably not. So that's what Jesus said. He said to go and make disciples of men, to win the lost and make the disciples. But instead what we're doing is we're worrying about demon possession. Okay, that's not what he told us to do. Go win the lost.

Know your word well enough that when somebody comes your way, you know what to say and how to say it. And if you don't know how to do it, we have a class here every other Saturday that you can actually go out and do this. Less about demon possession, more about winning the lost and making disciples of believers. Come on a Saturday, learn how to do it. We have a guy who actually will teach you how to go out and win the loss. And if you feel so inclined, which you should,

then go out with them on a Saturday, every other Saturday, and start doing this because this is way more important than this nonsense. And I don't mean that people that are possessed, that it's nonsense, but let's face it. You run into a lot less people who are demon-possessed than you do that aren't saved. So you should be more focused on the ones that aren't saved and wanting to know about that. How do I do that? How do I, like, when I am put in a person that has this kind of personality,

Holy Spirit, when I meet somebody that's like this, how do I show them you? How do I present you? How do I have a better chance of the results of winning you? And then take that person and disciple them. Way more important. Way more important. Way more important. And I'm going to just tell you, if you're seasoned or if you're new,

doesn't matter. Give me the scriptures, because a lot of people are, not a lot, there are people that are apt to say that you can be possessed and be a Christian. You mentioned Enquete. I know him personally. He does not believe that you can be demon- be a Christian. You mentioned Enquete. I know him personally.

He does not believe that you can be demon-possessed and a believer. Pastor Rodney does not do that. Jonathan doesn't believe it. Daniel doesn't believe it. All the evangelists or the pastors that I know that have actually worked and done a lot of praying

over, and I don't necessarily know that they've, like, I know that Daniel has dealt with, and I probably, because he lived in the Middle East, but a lot of people, like Norma said, witches are possessed. So you're

getting, you're taking, well, you're dealing with a lot of people who are demon possessed and you're getting the demons out of them, right? But on the whole, like Pastor Rodney lived in South Africa. He dealt with the same thing. Daniel says it's with a word and they're gone, okay? He's like this thing where like he said, I don't know what you guys do in America over here. This is crazy. Cause like, he's like, some people make you fill out a form. Some people sit there and they do an interview with you. And he's like, what's up

with that? He's like, that doesn't, and Anquette's the same way. He's like, there's no communicating. It's you, they're possessed. You speak to the demon and you get them out. You do what Jesus did in a word, with a word. That's how simple, that's how easy it is. We make it way more dramatic. It seems to be like, or we're not qualified enough or feel confident enough that we can just do it in a word. You know what I'm saying? But they don't believe, and I don't believe that they've, I mean, I've asked Daniel. That's why I said to Norma,

was anyone that you cast out demons, were they saved? No. And Daniel's like, heck no, they're not saved. It's not happening. So I would strongly suggest if you believe that someone is demon-possessed that is saved, you can be a Christian and demon possessed. You need to provide the scripture in the word that says that that's the

case, that that actually can happen. Not a book, not a book that talks about it, that some man wrote. I don't want the book. You don't need to stand on a book. The only book you stand on is the word of God. That's it. And I can tell you this. I've looked. I've even researched to see if there's a book that talks about a Christian, like the Bible, what scriptures, what scripture says that you can be demon possessed and a Christian. I've looked and I've researched it to see where it, there is none. There's not one, not one in the Bible that anybody can give you. And even in my own reading, which I've read the Bible,

I don't even know how many times, not once have I thought that you can be. But I can tell you there's plenty of scriptures that tell you you can't be. And I'm going to give you those. And those you need to stand on until you find the one that says you can be. And the thing I will tell you is there will be people that tell you, no, no, I cast out demons out of a believer. But every single time you talk to them and you find out the person and the lifestyle of that person and how they were living

and the state that they're living in, they're living in a lifestyle of sin. So it says those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. If they are in a lifestyle of sin, they're not a Christian. It doesn't happen. It doesn't work like that. Struggling with sin is two different things. A lifestyle of sin is totally different. Galatians 5, 19 through 21.

This is the New Living Translation. It says, When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear. Sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again is what Jesus says. As I have told you before that anyone living that sort of life, living that sort of life in the King James or New King James, it says that lives like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. So people will tell you that in a lot of these people are saved in these art churches. They're not saved.

They think they are, and they'll tell you they are, but if you investigate their lives, they never made a true change in their lifestyle once they got saved, because nobody told them they had to. They just told you he takes you as you are. That's it. And that's not true. He doesn't take you as you are. He takes you in that moment as you are. And then after you say the sinner's prayer and you say, I repent of my sin, I make you the Lord of my life, you better be going in the opposite direction because he ain't heading in the same direction as you are. Your lifestyle and him, they don't coexist together.

That's how it works. So let me just tell you, 2 Corinthians 6, 14 through 18 is a New Living's translation. It says, the temple of the living God. All my stuff is New Living, right, after this? Yes, I believe so, yep. It says, don't team up. I did it on purpose, I think, because I wanted to make it super understandable. But basically, if you look at the King James, New King James, they all sound the same. Don't team up with those who are unbelievers.

So if this says the temple of the living God, which is you, okay? Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be partnered with wickedness? Now, if you are demon-possessed and you're a Christian, think about this as I read this. How can light live with darkness? How can light live with darkness? It doesn't. What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil if you are possessed with a demon and yet you say you're saved? How does any of this make sense? These scriptures can't make sense. There's no way that the Christ and the devil exist together, right?

There's no way that the Holy Spirit and the devil live in the same being. Because we're going to finish this. How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? Question mark. And what union can there be between God's temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said, I will live in them and I will walk among them and I will be their God and they will be my people.

Therefore, come out from among unbelievers and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord. So when you ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, you're supposed to do those things. I know it's not taught in the popular churches, but that's the truth. Don't touch their filthy things and I will welcome you and I will be your father and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. Does that sound like you can be demon possessed? Girls? Sorry, I'm still working on the scriptures. No, it does not.

It's not possible. 1 Corinthians 6, 19 through 20 says, don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God? Do you think that the Holy Spirit will dwell with a demon? Vanessa shakes her head no.

You do not belong to yourself. So if you don't belong to you and you belong to God, because it says, for God bought you with a high price, do you think that he's going to exist with a demon? No, he's not. You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price, so you must honor God with your body. Ephesians 1, 13 through 14 says,

and now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the good news that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. The Spirit of God's guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him. 1 John 4, 4 says, But you belong to God, my dear

children. You've already won a victory over those people. Because if you're victorious, how can a demon possess you? Because the spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world. So if the Holy Spirit that's living in you is greater than the spirit that's in the world, then the demon is already, what's the word I'm looking for? If the Holy Spirit's living in you, then it's not possible for the spirit of the world or his demonic possessors to be in you. Now, oppression is way different than possession. And a lot of people allow themselves to be oppressed. You can be oppressed by infirmity, which is sickness, illness, and disease.

You can be oppressed by the spirit of fear, by the spirit of depression. You can be oppressed by these things, but oppression and possession, two different things. Don't work. They don't go together. So I will say this. So if we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, our bodies are the temple of God, this means that demons cannot possess us.

It's not possible. We are already inhabited by the Spirit of God. So if we're inhabited by the Spirit of God, it's a house divided, cannot stand. So God's not going to coexist with the very thing that is opposite of him. It's a house divided, cannot stand. It will not work. So I'm just going to tell you,

put down the books, put down the daggum books. Quit reading the books. Open up your Bible. Focus on what really God's called us to do, and that is to win the lost, disciple believers. Heal the sick. And listen, if you run across somebody who's demon-possessed, cast that sucker out of them.

There's nothing to be afraid of. There's nothing to be afraid of. But I wouldn't be looking for every devil on every doorknob and be all investigative, give, or whatever, and start investigating all about demon possession when you don't know the Bible that well. Or if you do know the Bible that well, then how many souls have you saved?

If you're winning the lost, like every week, one a week, maybe you think about demon possession. Otherwise, shelf it. And when you come across somebody who's demon possessed, don't be afraid of it. Do what Jesus did with a word, cast it out and be on your way. I mean, for me, every time I've had to do it,

it didn't take five minutes. That was it. Didn't even take five minutes. That was it. Didn't even take five minutes. It probably didn't even take a minute to be truthful. So that's all I got to say on it. Ladies, opinions. Can I read the Great Commission? Yeah.

Okay. So it's Mark 16, and it starts in verse 14. It says, later he appeared to the 11 as they sat at the table, and he rebuked their unbelief and hardness of hearts because they did not believe those who had seen him after he had risen. And then he said to them, and these are red letters, go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He who believes and is baptized will be saved. And he who does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will follow those who believe. In my name, they will cast out demons, they will speak in new tongues, and they will take up serpents. And if

they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them, and they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover. So I feel the same way, like no part of it. So if you're saved, and he's the Great Commission, he says, if you are one of his, these are the things that you will do. How can you be doing them, but you're possessed? It doesn't work. Yeah. So, and that's what it is. It's just that.

So like go and preach the word and then whatever happens, happens. Like you just said, if there is somebody that you cast it out, if somebody needs to be healed, you healed. In that moment, God's going to give you exactly what you need in that moment. Instead of sitting there and like overanalyzing, what was it? Was it this? Was that? Just do what it has, what has to be done and check your fruit. Did it, did it do what it was supposed to do? If it didn't go back to the word. So exactly what you said. But you have to know the word.

You have to know the word. Right. And a lot of times people, even seasoned people, they don't know the word. Yeah. They just don't. And so, I mean, I hardly ever meet, I hardly ever meet somebody who's been saved for a long period of time that can quote scriptures. And the statistics are very low

at the number of people who actually read their Bibles daily. The statistics are very low. You have to surround yourselves with people who are just like you, that are hungering and thirsting after righteousness. And then iron will sharpen iron, and the things that you need to know you'll find in the word,

and then the people around you will help you grow in them, become stronger in them. You'll do the same for them, but everybody will be on the same page Because you're going all in the same direction Listen, you get caught up I mean, Satan loves it Get you caught up in nonsense That's just unnecessary

Who cares? Literally, stop reading dadgum books I am so sick of Christians, yeah, put that up. That's great. Coming in. So this is the number of people who actually, the statistics of people who actually read the Bible.

Only 13% of Christians read the Bible daily. Wild. That's pathetic. Weekly is 22%. 7% is monthly. Yearly is 30%. That is terrible. And never is 28, which is, yes. That's as bad as, oh my goodness. Yeah, that's, ooh. It's bad. That's why people don't know. Right. That's why people don't know what they don't know. And a lot of denominations don't even encourage you to read the Bible.

True. Yep. They want to tell you what it says. There are denominations that are specifically that are like, you don't need to read it. We'll tell you. We'll tell you what it says. I know.

Wild. Which is opposite of what the word tells you to do. Second Timothy, study to show yourself approved. A workman that needeth not be ashamed rightly dividing the word of truth I mean hello but I am so tired of hearing Christians read about the Bible instead of reading the Bible

you're listening to a man and men get it wrong but God never does and it is an inspired word yes it's written by men but it's an inspired word given by God and it'll never be wrong. So I don't hardly ever read any books. I don't. I don't waste my time on them. People give Tom books a lot. And Tom's like, I don't have time. I don't have time

to read that book. First of all, he's got everything he's reading for the podcast. But second of all, when he's not doing anything for the podcast, he's reading the Bible. So like, forget about the books, people. Vanessa, Talia, do you have something to say, Talia? No, didn't think so. You're just happy to be here.

And typing. That's normally. Vanessa, share. I don't think I have anything to add because I feel like you and Tracy have added pretty much, but it is a hot topic right now. It's very much. It's because of movies and it's like people love the sensationalism of it. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. But just because it's in a movie and just because you saw it and just because you saw people doing things doesn't mean

they did it right. And it doesn't, and I don't know because I haven't seen the movies but people are like gung-ho over it and I'm like, are you going to be a spectator? Because if you are, shame on you. We should never be spectators.

We should be actually operating. But a lot of times people go to these, a lot of times people will go to different meetings and different things because they sit on the outside of it and they want to watch. I don't understand that. Either participate or don't go. Sarah.

I mean, we're supposed to seek first the kingdom of God, not the kingdom of hell. So, and his righteousness. So if we're focused on what's not God, even if it's supposedly for like a good reason, like I want to know more about this. Well, seek God. And when God wants you to know something about that so that you can operate in it and he will show it to you in the word through the holy spirit when you're praying through somebody that you're fellowshipping with um but seeking it out i think that that's like

it's glorifying it it's like i agree i agree i don't mess with that but you know what but it does come over my my tikt TikTok algorithm every now and then. I'm not looking for it, but it finds me. But a lot of the, if you listen to teachings, a lot of the people, I mean, demon possession, people are demon possessed. That's just the facts. You want them to come in your church, and you want to cast them out.

I mean, we have a family specifically in this church. When people want, that feel like they're possessed, they want to have potentially, I mean, people do have control over whether that demon is cast out of them or not. It's true that they do. I mean, I've heard pastors say they did not want it out right so their family wanted it out but the person didn't want it out so the people that we have and so much you're willing to have it cast out of you then they are able to do what they feel like God's calling them to do but I think you you need to have be able to it, but I don't think you need to

eat, breathe, sleep, and drink it. And that's what a lot of times the great teachers that I've listened to, the mistakes that they've made is what Sarah said. They delve so deep into it that it became a part of who they were instead of just a side note. You need to be able to, just like sickness, illness, and disease, you need to cast that sickness, illness, and disease out. But you don't need to study it. You don't need to study that disease. I don't want to know more about it. That causes doubt and unbelief.

Just like demons. Be able to cast that sucker out with a word, just like Jesus did, and move on your merry way. Free the person, just like you do sickness, illness, and disease. Free the person and move on. That's the way it works. Anybody else? Yeah, Sarah.

Move on from the demon, but then we need to make sure that we're discipling them and bringing them in. They got to get saved. Yeah, you got to get them saved, and you got to get them into the fold. Otherwise, it says you cast one out, and then to get them saved and you got to get them into the fold. Otherwise it says, you know, you cast one out and then seven come back and it's even worse.

Right. 100%. Yeah. So you have to do that. You have to have the follow-up. You have to have the follow-through. That's why I say, like, know how to win the lost and disciple a believer.

If you don't know how to do that, then don't waste your time on somebody who's demon possessed. There's no point. Disciple a believer. If you don't know how to do that, then don't waste your time on somebody who's demon-possessed. There's no point. You don't even have the base, the foundational things taken care of. But it's so easy to get tantalized with the other stuff over here. Don't be distracted.

Satan would love to distract you. So I'm now 25 minutes over. Now I'm almost 26. Let's say a prayer right now if you don't know Jesus because I did not do this last week. And really, I pray that for the podcast that we will win the lost and that you'll stay fixed on this podcast

and then even make this church your home and so that you grow and you are discipled because some people don't live in this area. And we might be the only thing outside of the church. I'm just saying Foundation Church might be their only thing. And this is part of the discipleship. So I'm honored as well as the girls. We're honored to win the loss, but also to help you answer questions and become stronger in your walk.

So let's pray real quick. If you don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, or if you've walked away, here's your opportunity to make him, get him back and live your best life. Heavenly Father, just say this prayer after me. Heavenly Father, I come to you right now. I thank you for what you did on the cross. I thank you for dying on the cross, shedding your blood, taking the stripes on your back so that I would be healed, that I would be saved. And ultimately, Lord, you came to this earth and became poor so that I might be rich. And I said that so fast that you cannot repeat me, but just stand in agreement with me up to this point. I ask you to be my Lord and Savior. I thank you that I will reign with you when I grow old and depart this earth.

I make you the Lord of my life, and whatever you tell me to do, I will do. Wherever you tell me to go, I will go from this point forward. In Jesus' mighty name we pray, amen. If you said that prayer, let us know. And we, listen, I pray. I pray over the people that attend this church.

I pray for the people who watch this podcast and they call this church their home. So just know that there is a covering around you. It's almost a daily covering. Tom prays every day, every day, over every person that attends this church or calls this church his home, whether you do it through livestream or you come in person.

So know that as much as people are praying for us, we're praying for you. We love you. We thank you for joining us. And Friday, I don't know what's going on on Friday, but it's going to be a good day. I wonder what could be. We know what's going on on Friday. Oh, my gosh. I totally got it.

I forgot. Friday's my birthday. Birthday. That's right. We're not doing nothing. You sure? I'm positive. You sure about that? I'm positive. Don't do birthday. Birthday. That's right. We're not doing nothing. You sure? I'm positive. Sure about that?

I'm positive. Don't do anything. Sure about that? Love you guys. See you Friday. It's going to be a good day. Bye. Bye.

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