The Hope Hotline - How Would You Respond?!

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

The Hope Hotline | S04-E45 | 09-9-2026

Hello and welcome to the Hope Hotline. Thank you for joining us on this beautiful, beautiful Wednesday. I just unplugged myself. There we go. I hope everybody's having a great day, great time. I'm all tangled. I was sitting here talking to the girls, and I totally forgot. I do not have my in-hears in at all.

I'm not even ready. But now I am. Here we are. And the lights are on. We didn't have the lights on. Oh, my. I was very moody in here. Which is great for getting started.

And then once we got started, it were very dark. I'm very marbly. I like it. It looks good. Oh, my gosh. This is my Sheehan shirt. Oh, we love Sheen. And I listen.

This racked up. On Sheehan? Oh, my gosh. I got like. I've been on that site because it overstimulates me a little bit. I know. It's very overstimulating. Not me.

You just got to push through. I just got. I literally paid for all you girls out there. I literally just, I'm going to keep them little Chinese kids working. Oh my gosh. That's what's happening right now. I'm ashamed to say it, but I'm not because obviously I'm not changing. It's a sweatshop over there.

You're being, let's face it. You're being honest. Yeah, it's a sweatshop over there. But somebody's got to make them work. So guess me. and I'm hooked. I know. I mean,

three shoes. Three pairs of shoes. For 20 bucks. I know. Where am I going to get shoes for 20 bucks that I can just toss out and don't even give a lick if I toss them out? Right. Right. Have you heard of Alibaba?

Don't even. Is that another Chinese sweatshop? It is. Oh my gosh. It's for like furniture and it's for like other goods. And yeah, do you know how to do it? No, but I'm going to figure it out. Okay.

So you send in. You know about it? Yeah, you can go to these websites like Pottery Barn and you send them the photo of what you want, how big you want it. And they make the exact same thing for like, no, I'm not kidding you. I'm going to send you a couple of videos on it. I'll find them too. Yeah. I don't know you're in here here.

Somebody's in here. She's just blended right in with the furniture. Oh my goodness. Gracious alive. Uh-huh. Send me a link. Okay. I will.

I got like 18 things. 18 things and shoes. And I paid not even $300. Right. It was like $260. I don't want to spend money on clothes, people. I know. I know.

I hear you. So I go there. I literally, and it's so easy to return. Although I know you don't return, Tracy. I'm like, is it? I return. No idea. All the time.

I have a package right now that I need to return. And it's so easy. I have it sitting at the door. I see it every day. And you don't return. You got to put it in the car and on your front seat. That's what I do. And then put it in the car.

True. Yep. And you throw it to the back seat. And it's up in the trunk. I put it in my car. I leave it in my seat next to me. And unless it's a lot of items. And then I just, it's easy.

Easy to easy. You're so self-discipline. It's the clothes that I rented for the woman's conference. Oh my gosh. That's not good because the longer you keep them, the more you have to pay. I'm going to tell Jeff. Stop it. Oh, my gosh.

That's not good. I'm still in my window. I'm still in the window. Oh, as long as you're in the window. I'm in the window. Is it closing? Is it rent the runway? Because rent the one way is a very short window.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's not. It's not rent the runway, right? No, no. It's newly. So they give you a money. Oh, that's a sweet deal.

Because rent the one runway is like three days. Yeah. Yeah. No. This is a whole month. Okay. Okay. I want you to tell everybody, the reason I don't have my earbud in is you got to hear, like, what happened at Abide.

Oh, my gosh. I'm still. This is like so awesome, guys. Like, this is why you get connected to a really strong group. Yeah. And then you see the hand of God move like never before. Literally. For real.

Literally. Short version or long version? Well, what's how long just, hold on, real quick. Yeah, this is really important. Natalie's coming back, September 18th. Yay. Woo! Sorry, I didn't need to do that.

Hot digity. We needed to know that. Yeah, but okay, just in case we get too far. September 18th, you've got to be here. It's going to be such a good podcast. It's been a long time. And we're already planning it. And Vanessa, you're going to love it.

Am I? Yes. Why, is it peptides? No, no. Okay, do you want me say what it is? Yeah. It's, I don't even know. Yeah, you do.

Yeah, it's the, we're going to talk. about mental. We're going to talk about neuroscience and mental and how that looks into, hooks into the Bible and how some people are taking it too far. So Natalie is going to give her perspective and all that stuff. And then, yeah. I love the brain. We have a couple of videos. I'm addicted to this surgeon that's a Christian surgeon. Wait, I think I, is he an older guy? Yes. It's not really older guys. He's about my age. Okay. Is he your age? Oh, my gosh. No, you're our age. He's way older than you. yeah yeah i love him he's like hope you follow your favorite brain surgeon at the end i do

yeah and i do that's so funny he is my favorite brain surgeon he's really really good it you know that's so funny because italia you know the girl i work out with you guys know that but you guys might not know that they know they know it but you might not know it um she tells me that all the time because she's like 35 something like that she's like i always forget you're almost 60 and i'm like, I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. I'm not your age. I think you are. And when we go to the gym, you can clearly see, I am not your age. My gosh, you should see those guys. Is it next to you? It's down Toledo. Like, we're going to be so close. Yeah. It is down Toledo. Yeah. Holy Matt cried. Did you, did you guys figure that out when you went and saw her? Yes. Yes. Awesome.

So, I'm really excited. She's such a great person. I know. But, oh my gosh. Like I've got I'm gonna well she's she said she's gonna start attending abide because she'll be closer good It's right of parali but let me just tell you Let me just tell you this and then we're gonna go back to abide really quick I went to hungry hally's you know I'm always trying to win souls at hungry hikes So my my guy that that comes here now that got saved he's not there anymore He's getting he's got a couple job interviews which I have to pray but the person that took his play is a really sweet girl, so I'm working on her. I go in there on Sunday.

Every Sunday I go and pick up, and sometimes in the middle of the week I pick up a pizza for Tom. And she says to me, last Sunday, there was a guy in here last Sunday, and he asked me if you are my mother, and I told him, I wish she was my mother. And I'm like, oh, that's so sweet. But I'm like, you're in your 30s, which I could have had her.

Okay. But I'm like, you're in your 30s. That means I look like I'm in my 50s or 60s. I don't like that. She's like blonde with brownish hair. Oh my gosh, yes. Yeah. But I'm like, that guy knows my age.

I don't like that. I don't like that. Last time I went in there because for the youth food, we get that. Yeah. She's like, oh, I said, oh, this is for our youth group or whatever. And then she knew you. She's like hope, but I was like, yep, hope. I was like, yep.

See? That's so sweet. There it goes. I got it. She's like, I love her. I was like, for two. Does she know why? Huh?

Does she know why you love me? No. Oh. Why do you love her? Oh. Well, because of Tommy. Well, she loved me before Tommy. It's not Tommy.

She better love me before Tommy. Did you see that picture? We're going to go back to a vibe. But did you see that picture of Shar? Yes. I was like going to text. This is the sweetest thing ever. Wait, I don't know.

On Facebook. Shar's birthday was a couple days ago. And so I had a memory come up. And I went and saw Courtney like the next day or the two days after she had baby Shar, me and Tom did. And it popped up. I think it was the next day after she had her. And it popped up. And I was like, oh my gosh, look at this picture.

And Charlotte looks. Oh, there you go. Oh, that was fast. Yeah. Listen, sometimes I got it and sometimes I don't. Does she not look the same? Oh, my gosh. She looks the same, baby shark.

So, yeah. We went and saw her when she was born. That's when your hair was red. Oh, yeah. Like a brownish, reddish, Auburn color. I think Jessica Odo was doing my hair then at the time. I was pretty sure. Yeah, Jessica Odo looks just like Kristen to me.

don't you think Jessica Jessica Matt Curley's wife now I wasn't there for that Oh my gosh They look Okay Norma

Pull up Jessica Oto really quick She's beautiful girl Super sweet Our old worship leaders Now wife But I hooked them up I put them together What are they now

They're in Texas She's I don't know where they are in Texas He was your worship leader before Casey, right? Yep. Yeah, because I got there when Casey was the worship leader. Yeah, Matt is like off the charts.

He's so freaking good. I think he's doing country now. But she's country music. He's told, he does still do worship. But he's, his wife, though, just a very, very, very sweet girl. They're a great couple. But, yeah, she used to babysit Norma. but yeah she let Kristen look so much alike it's unbelievable

huh very interesting very interesting okay well if the number finds it tell everybody did you go to hers or did you go to Matt's she's hard let go to Matt let me see oh that even looks like Kristen from here oh yeah it does oh yeah that's her blonde that's what I was trying to find Okay. Go show them. Mainly that's who I want to see it, is them. It's pretty wild. As soon as I saw Kristen, I was like, you're Jessica Odo.

We have very similar, like, look. Like cheek bones and stuff. Yes, definitely. 100%. They could be sisters to a tea. She's really pretty, but super sweet. On top of that, like, you know, when you have somebody who is attractive, but then on top of that, they're just a really great person on top of that.

Yeah. That's a rarity. Up to the ante. Yep. That's a rarity that you find somebody very attractive that is sweet as pumpkin pie. Yeah. So, yeah, he was good. Okay.

Now go to abide. Abide. Because this is good stuff. Okay. Well, we take a break in the summer because there's traveling and stuff going on. So this was our first abide. for this year. And so everyone was so excited because

it launched at 6.30. Tell me why we had girls, ladies, pulling up by like 5.45. Oh my gosh. Take a chill. Holy moly. Yeah. Yeah. We had some early, early birds. Are you like, we learned now.

Please, we're not even ready. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, we learned. We have to open door. is at 630. We're just kind of make it more clear like the church does. It's okay. It was fine. I was open. I had everything set out thankfully, but I was just like, all right. They're ready. They're doing that. They were too. They made it very clear. Oh my gosh. That's so flipp and funny. So typically when we do abide, we have like a system.

So like from 930 to 10, you come in and you can have snicky snacks and talk to your friends and fellowship. And then we go into like any announcements that we have. And then we go into praise reports. And then there's a word and then we lay hands. So that's kind of like the system that we typically. follow. But like over the summer, we obviously both Vanessa and I were praying about it. And I just, I was like, Vanessa, I feel like we need a different start this year. I don't know if we continue or whatever, but I feel like we're supposed to just give these women the opportunity that if they've never received the baptism, the Holy Spirit, or have it opened themselves up to receiving more that God has for them, that we give them the opportunity to start this year that way. And so we were both

like praying about it and like really deciding like how we want this to look. So Abide looked very different yesterday. And it was cool because a lot of them came in with expectations. And because they came with expectations, we got to see two, I mean, there was lots of things that happened. I missed some of it because I kind of was wandering around to do this part of it. And then we had stuff going on on the rug and it was really cool. But these two specifically were really awesome. All clean stuff on the rug. Yes. It was like basically like spiritual surgery. We were taking care of people's stuff and just plucking it out and putting it over there. Speaking words of knowledge. I mean, the gifts were operating. It's just so cool. It's just so cool to be a part of. It really is. It really is so unique and so

fun. So at one point I went over to check on one of my friends who grew up Baptist, wasn't sure what she believed. I then met everybody at the door to kind of give them like a heads up of if they didn't see our video. We put a video just to let everybody know what it was going to look like. And so I met her at the door and she's like, I'm going to have faith like a child today. And I'm like, that's all you need. So she came in and she received. And she received. received the baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongue. So she got her prayer language. And she's like, I mean, it's weird. I'm like, I know. And I'm like, we're going to press in. And so we even had like a little teaching about, um, yeah, of the baptism. And we gave lots of

verses about what the baptism looks like. And I ended our teaching with receiving like a child. She did. So literally confirmed that outside and then the Lord confirmed it for her inside. It was so cool. Yes. It kind of like primed her. It did. It did. It did. Yeah. It was awesome. And then Vanessa, I don't know what happened at some point. Like the Holy Spirit grabbed her and like whatever came out of her mouth. I'm like, who's talking? Like that's not Vanessa. It was amazing. And then it broke whatever was going on that people were kind of being spectators and stuff. Like Vanessa's word like broke whatever was going on in the atmosphere. So that was really cool. So that was the beginning. But towards the end, I found out that she got baptized in the Holy Spirit. And then right.

next to her was a friend that I met on Sunday. And I saw her in the parking lot first. And I was just like, oh, cute family. And then I saw her again during worship. So typically, like, that's like some God's highlighting somebody, especially when you're working. Like, when you're working and you're just like, go, go, go. And I've asked God to, like, slow me down on Sundays because Sundays are Sundays. And so he did. And then I was like, I need to invite this girl to abide. Like, she needs to come. And so we, I was like, how do I do this? Because it's worship. I'm like, excuse me, ma'am. Can I tell you about this group that I have on Tuesday? I'd like you to join us.

I promise we're not a cult. I know. It's not weird. And she was so into worship, too. And that was another reason why I felt like she'd probably really enjoy Tuesdays or this Tuesday, abide. And so then God's like, just write her a note. And I was like, oh, genius. So like a second grader, I wrote her a note.

Hi, my name's Tracy. I saw you in the parking lot. And so can you come to abide? Check yes or no. Not like that, but something close. So then I folded up, give it to her. And I found it later. Her husband was like, what was that?

And she was like, I don't know. But she just like snuck it in her pocket, like read it later. Oh, that's funny. So she ends up texting me and saying she wants to come. And I give her so much kudos because, number one, she's only been coming here for three weeks. Yeah. Number two, she knows nobody. It's intimidating.

She moves here from Oklahoma. Came here from Oklahoma. She knows nobody. Nobody. And she's going to somebody's house. And she randomly got invited by some lady with a, like, a note on the, like, like, like a ripped piece of paper. Like, I mean.

She's desperate for friends. She's. Yes. And the crazy part is her husband was invited to go up to the Airbnb with the guys for the men's conference. So he has this whole group of friends from Foundation Church. Did he go up there? He went and stayed in Airbnb with them.

That's wild. I know. So then she was like, God, I want friends. Like he has all these friends. He just came back. And then here I come with my little note. So, okay, so back to Tuesday night. So I find out one of the girls gets the baptism of Holy Spirit.

And then right next to her is this woman that I met. And I asked her what she was here for and we had conversations. And then I find out that she actually went through something really terrible the last three weeks. She had a brain aneurysm and a stroke. And because of that, she lost sight in her eyes. So both eyes, she can see from the center to appear. So she can't see from the center to her peripherals. so she can't see at all with her peripherals.

And she did not come. She wasn't even going to tell me that. She just came because there was another thing that she had on her heart that she wanted prayer for. So I find out that the woman that just got baptized in the Holy Spirit has the gift of speaking in tongues now. And then I've got my friend over here who needs sight. And she doesn't even know that. But I just knew. I knew I had to connect them.

I connected them. My friend that just received like literally two seconds ago got the gift of speaking in tongues, went over, held her face, told her eyes to open. I prayed over her. We prayed for a second. Then I said, open your eyes. And she opened her eyes hysterically crying. And she said, I can see. She dropped to her knees and just praise God. It's crazy. I didn't even know what to do. I was like, I got to like, because we have other stuff going on. Like, there's stuff going and so I'm like, how do I tell everybody? I just want to start like screaming about it. And both of us were like, how do we tell people? And so it was, it was amazing. It was, that was just like

for me. And then I was able to bring her down and she was able to talk to everybody and tell them that like, not only did she receive her a site, but like this is what she's been going through for the last three weeks. And so, uh, it was just really cool. So that was her introduction into abide. Welcome to abide. That is the church being the church. Right. It's like I look at Linda. Linda like Linda is in the room right now. And Linda, came, I mean, Linda, how long did you come before you got your sight and didn't have to wear glasses anymore? And you were, and you didn't, huh? Three months. Three months she had been coming here. Comes to a ladies' conference. Adalus, she says, Adelis asks her what she wants and she goes,

vision, and she meant for like the future. Not her eyesight. She goes into the bathroom after Adalas prays over her. She can't see what her glasses on. And the mirror anymore. She takes her glasses off and she could see. Yes. That's God. Like, so literally. You needed your vision more than you need, you needed your actual vision. And I love that. Because like God knows. And we don't even know what to pray sometimes, right? And so that's why we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Correct. Correct. Because we don't know. We don't know. Holy Spirit does. All the time. It's so awesome. Kristen's in the room now.

Kristen, we were just talking about you because we were saying how you look like, remember, I told you you look like Jessica Odo or Jessica, that girl. Now you don't remember. Our old worship leader's wife. Yeah, now she does. Yeah, not she does. Yeah, we were showing how, and everybody does agree. You look just like her.

Not just like her, but you look like her. You look like sisters. Like, yeah. That's right. You're skinnier than her. Oh, no, she's a bigger girl. She's a, no, no, she's a bigger. But she doesn't know.

that she's a bigger girl. You can never... Jessica has? No, you're not saying from that photo. I'm just making for Kristen doesn't think we're calling her fat. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. Uh-uh.

She's, she's... But her face has never had weight in it. She's always been super skinny. You have the same nose. Oh, my gosh. Shut up. So similar. She's beautiful.

Like, oh my gosh. That girl is gorgeous. It's so sweet. Okay, so... Great stuff. Great stuff going on. So good. And that's that, I think.

Okay. Do we have anything else to talk about? No, really. Just yet. I didn't want to do Natalie. I didn't mean to cut to it. I was trying to get it into V-Mex. But, yeah, so Natalie will be here.

Okay. That's pretty much it for important. I'm going to spend three minutes on this and then we're going to go straight. Okay. Lindsay Casey. Okay. I'm going to talk about this for two seconds. Okay.

Okay. If anybody's been paying attention, those jurors are talking. Yes. That's just solve a lot of our problems. But I mean, I still stand where I stand. I mean, I still stand that she did it. He's a horrible person. He is obligated to a certain extent of responsibility.

But you know what? Like, they're coming down on this one juror, but they themselves, all, not all, but they're admitting they know she did it. Okay, that's, I've like, I've heard two of them say, well, we know she did it. But then why are you letting her off? Like, yeah, that's crazy. I haven't heard anything yet. I've been in a little world. Two of them. I've heard two of them. I've got to do some research now. They know he did it, but they, one of them felt pressure and another

one's like, but even though she did it, she wasn't in her right mind. Who cares? Yeah, still did it. Yeah. Okay. Like, you don't let, so like when I told you, I was really proud of that guy for stick into his guns and his convictions. It makes me even more be like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Don't give in just because people, don't go with the crowd, man, because she would have gotten

off. And they knew she did it. Two of them that were going to let her walk knew she did it. That's crazy. You don't do that. No. Interesting. Guys, come on.

I'm going to do my research. It's pretty wild. It's pretty wild. One of them said that, just the same as that a person, the reporter that I heard talk about it a long, long, long time ago she said that hearing

that 911 call and her husband and his response to it, she said, I will never be the same after I left. And she said unless he was an incredible actor, she's like there is no way you you make that up. It's not possible. She's like it was horrific.

His screams? Yes, it was horrific. Like she's like there's, it would be almost, she said, am I saying that it couldn't be possible? Right. Yeah. But she's like the likelihood of that trauma. She's like, and she says, I'm traumatized just from listening to it.

So like, but she even said she knew that she did it. And she still was with everybody else saying like acquit. How can you do that? So they did say they were going to acquit. Like that's what the. Yeah. They were going to acquit her. Wow.

Interesting. Yeah. Wow is right. Especially to when one of the ladies, it seemed like she was one of the head people, she was ticked off at the guy because he said he did have doubts, but he was still sticking to his guns and going to not go along with everybody. He's like, yeah, I have doubts whether or not it went the way that it did, but I'm not changing the way I'm going to vote.

She literally started sliding stuff off because she thought he was until he said, I'm not changing nothing. But she even said that she knew that she did it. That person that was acquitting and so glad that the guy she thought was going to change his tune and go with them, she said, oh, I know she did it. Interesting. Okay. But they didn't think that because she was not in her right mind, she should go to jail. I'm like, sorry, I don't care.

No. Right. You did the crime. You do the time. Right. Exactly. In your right mind or not? I don't know.

You would have to apply that same logic to everything. Well, we're seeing people kill their kids now. There was one lady that just strangled her two-year-old and was texting about her Lindsay Glancy case beforehand. Yeah, but she left that child hanging from the rafters for a neighbor to find. Yeah. Okay. Sorry.

We're going to, what's going to end up happening is just like pedophilia, once we start allowing parents to marry their children, which is what California is trying to do. What? Yes. That's so cool. Yes. Once you start that. incest, pedophilia becomes very normal.

This is no difference. Once you allow somebody off from killing their children, because reason of insanity, we have a problem. Yep. You cannot do it. But at some point, what does the partner have a part to play in, like, to degree? I'm not saying he does. I'm saying it doesn't, there's something not right.

that's all I'm saying and like you don't leave your crazy wife weekends a weekends away taking only one kid with you knowing she's got mental issues and she's taking herself away to because she's put herself in an institution because she's you know

going to commit suicide or she's saying that I think I'm going to commit you never leave your kids alone with that person especially when you've been paying for a nanny what happened to the nanny they have the resources and you have the help And you have all of that. You're making like half a million dollars a year.

Come on. Protect your kids. Yeah. I have no sympathy. Mm-mm. Nope. You're going to play a game. Not about Lindsay, Quincy.

We're not, we're not, it's not really a game. But I was thinking like there are so many different scenarios in life that we put ourselves in or that come our way. and how do we handle them? So I was thinking like, like, I'm going to do this again, but I'm going to kind of change it up each time. But I am going to have you guys, I'm going to give you like five, where might not get through all of them. I'm going to give you five different scenarios.

It's like what would you do? kind of thing. And then don't give me, like, if you're not going to, like, you can obviously give me your Christian answer because you're Christians and you're probably going to blow, well, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

So you can give me a Christian answer or not. Or what you really would do. Because what happens is, truth be told. Okay. Like what we hope we would do, but what we might do. I want to know what you actually would do. Because what a lot of times people do is they give you what they, no, what they, what they in their minds think that they would do. But when they're actually put in the situation, they don't do that.

That's fair. They don't. And it's like I was talking to somebody and I was like, well, I won't go into it because it might expose it. And I don't want to do that. But a lot of times how we think we would respond is not actually how we do respond. And what we do is we try and sell it that we do. When people have watched you and they know you don't do that. Or they see you on social media and they know you don't do that.

So my whole thing is, is not that I'm referring to me of guys, because I'm not. I feel like this is like she's trying to prove a point right now. Because she's like, I'm not telling you guys what we're doing. What I am saying is is a lot of times, a lot of times people, a lot of times people live in a state of delusion. They just do. And the truth is the truth. And without going into any great deal, I'll use another example with somebody,

else that we but I'm not going to name their names on Sunday I'm talking to somebody I had to say the truth about myself which wasn't like was slightly embarrassing I mean even though I don't really get embarrassed so any normal person they might have been embarrassed me I'm like well it's the truth like as embarrassed as I probably should be that I'm confessing this truth to you my point to them was is, okay, we all are a certain way. Let's try and not act like we're not. Let's be honest about ourselves, even if it's embarrassing or even if it doesn't put us in the best light. Because the truth is still the truth. And you may try and sell it that it's different, but just so you know, everybody knows it's not like that. Because guess what? They see you behave not like that.

So when you try and sell it that it is something else, they're not going to believe you. They just know you're hoping that somebody will buy what you're selling. When in all actuality, nobody's buying anything, and they all know you're not being honest with yourself. Does that make sense? Yes. So my way point to you is this.

When you answer, I'm going to know whether you're lying or not. I feel I'm sweating. Just kidding. I don't want to play. I don't blame you. I don't want to play either. I don't want to play either. Oh my gosh. But I am.

Okay. Because it's only fair. It is only fair. But I know the answer is before you. That's okay. But I will say to you, like now, literally, now that I'm a lot older and I see life in a very different way, It is a lot easier to respond, not always, but to respond correctly. Because there is something to be said about the amount of time that you, well, some people say they've mellowed with age because they've just not cared anymore.

Okay. And I can see how that might be for some people. That's not me. Because I care about everything. And I have not mellowed. I'm a very passionate, very opinionated person. What's happened, though, is it's not that I don't care anymore. I literally either hold back spiritually speaking because I know God is like shut your mouth.

So I have to like shut my mouth. Or I've just, the Lord has refined me enough to be like, that's not your thing. So you just move on. And it doesn't, it doesn't pay for you to even be. bothered by all of that. Like there's nothing good that comes from that. So just move on. Hold your opinion to yourself or your feels don't deserve all of that. You know, there's just so many different things. Like when you get older and the more time you spend with the Lord, the easier it gets. Now, somebody in their 20s can be right where I'm at now. They can,

but I if they but you know you got to spend a lot of time with the Lord and I didn't spend a lot as much time as I should until I hit like my 30s and probably my mid 30s on top of that so like I was behind the eight ball I would be a lot farther along if I would have done things right and listen everything if you would have asked me these questions I'm going to ask you um like 15 years ago I would have failed miserably a lot of these questions. Huh? There's failing. There's A, B, C, D.

Well, I'm going to grade you. No, no grading. But I'm just saying I would have not answered. If I had to answer honestly about myself, I would have not been happy with my answers. But a lot of times people don't answer honestly about themselves. I listen to people all the time talk to me. And I'm like, I know this is not true.

And I say nothing because it's what they really want it to be, not really what it is. You know? Mm-hmm. But we're not going to do that today. Okay. We're going to answer it just like it is. And Tal you chooses not to play.

Are you playing, Tal? Yeah, she's playing. Okay. Now, I didn't make up these questions just so you know. I had chat GPT make up these questions. No way. No, I'm not kidding you. I said, give me what I said because I couldn't think.

I'll be honest with you. I couldn't think of a dagum scenario. Oh my gosh. I couldn't think of it. of anything. So I said give me five, or excuse me, I said, give me different scenarios that people deal with daily. So that, you know, for this game, for this thing. And so this is what it did. I like them. I like all. I like all of them. I, again, I would have failed pretty miserably a while back. In some of them, I might still fail, but on the whole, I would get them good now. But so here is

the first scenario. Okay. Okay. Now, when I heard this question, I thought of you and Tracy. Okay. Just so you know. Okay. Okay. So maybe you put it in this perspective. I literally thought of you too.

Well, I was reading this. I was like, well, that would be rough, man. Oh, no. Yeah. I was like, man, that'd be rough. Okay. Are we still going to be friends after this? Yeah.

I don't know. This is a true test of friendship right here. I'm like nervous for no reason. True test of friendship. So much beef. So get this. Okay. I'm ready.

So this is how you'll, like when you do it, think of each other because I'm not kidding. I'm about to. I'm thinking of our. Okay. All right. You find out that one of your closest friends has been talking about you behind your back. And this isn't just somebody saying, oh, I heard they don't like you. You actually know it's true that they're talking about you behind your back.

Okay. That's true. Okay. They've repeated things you've told them privately and they've criticized you to other people. They've even changed the way other people see you. You hate her, don't you? I'm done. I'm quitting this church. Did this actually happen? Here's the kicker. Here's the kicker. I mean, I, listen, this happened to me. And I have done this. I have done this, actually. Truth be told. Like, I have done this to somebody. And it's been done to me because you reap what

you so. I mean, just truth. I mean, in full transparency, I have done this to a very close friend before. I obviously was not that great of a friend at this time. Okay. Okay. Here's the kicker. They're still acting completely normal with you. I've done this. I'm reading this and I'm like, this was me. But then I was thinking of you too. They're calling you, they're texting you. They're smiling at you. Even I'm not asking you what's wrong because they can tell you're acting differently. I've done this. I did this in my 30s.

I'm not lying to you. I'm not. I believe you. I was like, hey, did chat read my mail? Oh my gosh. That's transparency for you. Chad is being prophetic. Literally.

But when if this was you to each other? I'm thinking of it. I'm literally just asked her. Like, is this true? I know. Is it? No, it's not true. She's never,

neither have you done it to each other. Well, I don't know for a fact. I'm just saying that I would have thought. I would have known. Okay. So what would you do? Okay, you have choices, but you don't have to choose these choices. We don't have to choose them.

You don't have to choose them. But there's choices we can choose. Yes. Do you confront them? Do you wait and see if they tell you? Do you quietly distance your, if you're watching, what would you do? Do you quietly distance yourself? Do you tell them who told you? Or do you forgive them and continue with the friendship? I can tell you that wasn't

what happened. That's not what happened with me. I deserve to them. I'm a crappy friend. You don't do that. Sorry, you don't do that to people. That's a crappy friend. Fair. Okay. So do you confront them, do you wait and see if they tell you? Do you quietly distance yourself? Do you tell them who told you? Or do you forgive them and continue with a friendship? What do you think you would do? Because I was like literally, what would Tracy and Vanessa do if this was them, if this happened to each other? Do you want to go first? I have more questions about the problem. There's no, I gave you all. How bad was this information? Like, was it like, it's really bad. It's bad. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's all. It's bad. It's because it literally says,

Okay. They made people change their minds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They criticized you to other people. Yeah. They repeated things that you told them privately. They've even changed the way other people see you. Okay.

And we know 100% that this is true. Yeah, and here's the kicker. You know it's true. How do I know it's true? Because somebody, you know, it's because it's probably because somebody, somebody repeated something back to you that Vanessa said okay that I only told her so Vanessa what Vanessa was saying somebody came back to you oh so Vanessa's the problem I like it okay well I don't know I'm just saying I'm using you okay Vanessa okay Vanessa did it to you you did it to

Vanessa what do we do it how would you do it okay I got dumped now I could take that so obviously they didn't value the friendship that much how long just on the side note how long were you friends with this person before you did it. Was it a long time? Like was this a long-term friend for you? Yeah, it was. Okay. Okay. I will tell you right off the bat, this would literally break my heart.

That's why. Like literally break my heart. Like even thinking about it almost makes me want to cry. Yeah, that's why I said it was a crappy friend. Like, for real. Real it didn't happen. I'm too ludial for this. Like literally.

It's crushing. I would. And, This is like an honest reaction. Like I would, I would, I would go to her. And. And confront. Not confronts, but like, hey, this is what I found out.

Like, can you, can you explain to me why? Because if, like, what's the root of this? Let's work, like, let's try to work this out. Because I value you. I value, value you as a person. And I don't want to lose you. Right. Vanessa, like two years ago maybe, would have just, like, distance myself.

and just like walked away. I can see that. Vanessa today would fight for this friendship. And then if I came to you and I told you that that was true, then what would you do? And I was like, I'm so sorry. I was a misjudgment. Like, what would that look like? I know.

Because that's the hard fact. It's because like I would do the same thing. I would go to her. I would confront it because I see Vanessa as like a sister. So if like my sister-in-laws did this to me or my mom or my brothers, like I would just, if my daughters did this and Jared did this, like I would go to them. like a family where we don't just throw each other out. We don't just like disappear because I didn't like that I know that you did that.

But if I found out it was true and there wasn't a great explanation for it, I would lose trust in her. Yeah. Like I would probably not be able to share how I share. Yeah. Ministry would be challenging. Like it would definitely be. It would sever in relationship. Yeah.

Well, that's a downer. That's a downer. That would hurt. But it would hurt. What about you, Tau? Well, this has actively happened to me, so definitely distance myself at first because I need to, for me, I need to, like, think about how I'm going to, like, solve this and, like, resolve this. Distance myself and then figure out the best way for the specific person how to go to them. Because some people, you can't just, like, there's certain ways you have to go to them.

Like, they literally won't receive it well. So figure out how I would go to them and then I'd go to them. And if they either lie to my face and say they didn't do that, then I'd have to obviously, okay, you're just going to keep not being honest. So then I have to cut it off. If they were honest with me, then I would just keep. Like, I mean, there's the Bible verse. Like, if they ask you for forgiveness, you forgive them.

Yeah, you have to forgive them. But does it mean you have to embrace that relationship back? So if they were honest and asked for forgiveness, I'd forgive them and then keep going. but okay so here's what here's my thing when I did this to my friend they actually were doing it to me too interesting tragic and both of us very headstrong so both of us were kind of like now I tried to reconcile it so did you end up going to it never no okay never never uh it wasn't a thing where either one of us were going to disclose anything to each other because both of us had been sending.

Yeah. Yeah. So pride gets in the way. 100%. Okay. So, I mean, truth is truth. Yeah. So I wasn't going to say, you're talking about me because I knew I had been talking

about her. Right. Okay. And so then if you accuse somebody, you have to confess that, correct? Right. So my whole thing is, is a lot of times, a lot of times when you're yap, yap, yap in, it's very rare that the other person, like in my case, now could it be the only one side is doing talking?

Oh, yeah. It absolutely can. But in my case, in my case, that wasn't the case. Both of us were talking. And so it ruined trust for both of us. And both of us are very prideful. And even though relationship had been a very long, rich and beautiful one, the situation where our lives had also grown apart because of life's circumstances,

me having older kids, there I'm having younger kids. And so life has a way of taking you in two different directions. So it was very easy for us to just be like, too bad, so sad. Life's less life. So but at the end of the day, yeah, I did it. That's not a good friend. I mean. What caused you to both of you to do that?

Because I very great question. Seriously great question. Because both of us were gossiping and both of us I told, I've told you guys, I have had a battle with gossip running my mouth too much. And people will go, well, you weren't really, you were just talking about things. You really weren't making somebody look bad. But the thing was is the stuff we were talking about should not. never have been discussed. Just because it's truth, which I've had, I've had older people say this to me when they were gossiping or they were talking about people. I mean, like, that's gossip. And they were

like, it's truth. So I can say it. No. No, sorry. Just because truth is being spoken doesn't mean it's your business to be talking about it. And biblically speaking, you don't see it in the Gospels where it was okay, even if it was truth. Because some truths, and most truths, don't need to be discussed. Talking about everything we know, about whomever, whether it would hurt them or not hurt them, you don't know.

Like, I've learned. People are private. I've learned, I mean, I used to be a person that everybody came in my house. My house was always open. They would make fun of me. Like, my life was an open book. Door was always open, right?

And there was no private thing for me. So for me, I didn't feel like there was really, it was really that wrong to have these discussions because my life wasn't private. So I didn't think that it was wrong to discuss. But it is, it is wrong because if people are private and they sincerely tell you things that may not be, it's indifferent in life, right? They came to you and they discussed that with you. Not for you to because it's truth to be able to share to other people, right? And I did that with her. I would tell her dirty stuff about people, and I would tell her stuff that was really indifferent about people. And at the end of the day, none of it needed to be discussed because all of it was private.

It was something that somebody shared with me, and if they wanted that person to know, they would have told them. They didn't tell them. They told me. So my mouth should have been shut. Same thing about the gossip. We literally gossiped. You want to talk about gospel to destroy clothes? friends, it does. It doesn't destroy. I lost, I've lost more than one friend through gossip because

I ran my smack with people. And I didn't ruin that relationship that about the person I was talking about. I ruined it with the person I was talking with. It does happen all the time. The scriptures are true. And I warn my daughter, I warn like all of her close friends about this all the time. Don't gossip with one another. You guys have beautiful relationships. treasure them, keep them pure because Satan would love nothing more than to destroy those relationships do running your mouths way too much. About nothing. No, that's the key what it is. It's very rare you find people that you genuinely love and have a great affection for. Like Norma and Taya have been friends since Taya was 14 years old.

Okay, tell you how old are you now? 20. 20. And listen, they've gone through Helen. back. They have done the talking about each other. They have done the not been nice to each other. I mean, she started dating Tommy. That was a whole thing. Okay. Life is like that. Okay. But when you have a relationship that's, you need to treasure it because that longevity, being so young and having to grow together and have to overcome a lot of crap. And you have relationships that can stand this test of time. I have one that I'm friends with a girl from high school. And like, Like, I can call her at any time. You don't have friends like that very often in life.

You better hang on to them and hold them dear because Satan loves to ruin it. And especially when it's two Christians. Yeah. You're mighty together, right? The things that you're able to accomplish when you're both solid in your walks, like that's why I always say, don't talk. It's not worth it. But it does.

But, I mean, I know of what I speak. I've had to learn it twice. And it is what it is. God is good because I've been, you know, I'm like a David in this. I'm like, I say the truth. I own the truth. And I repent and I literally have not, I do not allow gossip. Do I fall prey to it? Yes. Every now and then, but on the whole, I stay away from it. I don't even talk to my husband about crap because I keep us pure so we don't turn on one another. Yeah, that's sure. But God has given me beautiful relationships and friendships because I've been, I've repented of that crap. I don't know if I would have great relationships with people if I was still the same way. Because I wouldn't, why would he set me up so I would hurt somebody else? Right.

Yeah. It's not going to happen. I was not a good friend. And that's just the God's honest truth. And people need to be, again, don't be delusional. Don't say that you're something that you're not because you're acting differently. And a lot of people will be like,

I don't do that. Bull crap, I hear you talking. You are that. Fix it. It's not hard, you know. But Matthew 1815 says in a new living translation, if another believer sends against you, go privately and point out the offense.

If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back, which is exactly what you guys were saying you would do. All three of you, you get an A. Thank you. That was a hard one. I know. I need to lay down after that.

I know. I was the first one. I know. Oh my gosh. So deep. Proverbs 179 says love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. That was me. Boo-ya.

It's true. Proverbs 423 says, guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. And you really do need to guard your heart. Like, be purposeful. I've literally in the last week, people have said, said to me, did you tell your husband about something because they told me something in private? And then they thought because either on Sunday's message or whatever. And I'm like, no, I never, I never tell him anything. If somebody hears something in the message that they told me, it's

holy spirit. It ain't because it came from me. I never tell that man, squat. You know what's coming out. I keep him pure. I keep him pure while he's preaching. But I keep myself pure so that he knows that You can say whatever. I'm not talking to you about people's lives. So remember this. And then we're moving to the next question. Forgiveness is mandatory. There is no option in it.

Even if somebody does something to you that you don't like, for your sake, you don't have to restore them, but for your sake, forgive them. Because Matthew 6, 14, and 15 says, if you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your father will not forgive your sins. That's the truth. All of us, all of us need forgiveness. You will not see me not enter heaven's gates because I am holding something against somebody else. They ain't worthy of that. No bitterness or anger or strife or whatever of somebody else's, some other relationship

that I had with somebody is going to hold me out of heaven. I hold nobody of that value. They do not rent space in my mind. Don't let that happen to you. You just don't have to restore somebody to perfect trust. And you don't even have to restore somebody, but you do need to forgive them. That's it.

So, and remember, too, trust can be, I mean, I am not a person that trusts people very easily. Everybody on this panel knows. I am a slow mover unless God is like, that one's yours. I'm a slow mover. Because even if, like, God has told me specifically to bring people into my life to either befriend them or whatever. And the whole entire time, I'm like, I don't want to.

I don't like this person. This person and me are like water or oil and vinegar. It is not mixing very well. But you know what? I didn't get to determine that. God said that person's yours. And we're all here today. It hasn't happened to me in a really long time.

But I have somebody in my head who the Lord was like, and this person was like sandpaper to me. I got that. Yep. But guess what? I didn't get to choose it. My job was to be obedient. And I was obedient until it was time. Right.

That it was not my time anymore. We were all thinking it. Yeah. Or like it's us. Yeah. Uh-huh. But listen, broken trust can be redeemed and fixed. It can.

It absolutely can. And if the person's worthy of it, like make it. Right. So Vanessa and Tracy need to fix things. We're going to have a conversation after the, we go offline. Here's the next one. Now, this one, Tracy and I both can get. Vanessa is not going to get and definitely tell you has no idea.

But it's still a great question because there's a lot of people in my, in my place in life. So I kept it. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Like, I'm not kidding. I did not make any of these. I believe you. Not one. I believe you. But I loved all of them. I didn't like the first one, especially because I'm like, ouchy, mama. That was rough. That was rough. I'm like, man, I'm going to have to be honest. I don't want to be honest. Oh, okay. Your adult son or daughter is making choices that you believe are wrong. Not just choices you wouldn't personally make. They genuinely believe they're going against God's word. You genuinely believe they're going against God's word

or heading towards consequences that are going to hurt them. You've tried talking to them. They don't want to hear it. In fact, they've told you, I'm an adult. This is my life. Stop trying to control me. That go real well with me. I was like, when I read that, I went, yeah, that's not happening. That's not happening at all. Not feeling into my house. But you're watching something happened that you believe could seriously affect their future? What do you do you keep saying do you keep saying something do you back off do you let them fail at what point do you stop giving advice they aren't asking for and depending on what it is ask them to leave your home if they are living with you so do let me read them again do you keep saying something do you back off do you let them

fail, at what point do you stop giving advice they aren't asking for, or depending on what it is, ask them to leave your home if they are living with you. Or you could add if they're going to college too, because if they're in, you're paying for college. When I read that one, I'm like, well, the college would count too because if you're paying for college. So, what's your opinion? Because listen, there's a lot of people that have kids that are adults. They may not live with them, but they do, some of them do live with them. I mean, I look at Linda. She lives with her parents still.

I look at Norma. She lives with her parents still. Talia lives with her parents still. My kids live with me. Your kids live with you, exactly. Like, they're adults, but you're still responsible for them and what they do when they live in your home. And a lot of people forget that.

They allow their children that are adults to do things in their home that is not biblical. Even if they're not saved, they should not be doing it in your home. you're putting a stamp of approval, you'll answer to God for that. Remember that. You do. Everything that happens in your home that is not biblical, you answer to God for. Yeah. Go ahead, Tracy.

Oh, me. Okay. Well, you can't really. Vanessa, it's a close. They're close. And I will tell you, although they're not adults yet, like just recently within the last six months, because we will be entering that very soon, we did have, we drafted up a contract with what's expected.

If you're going to live underneath our roof, what's expected from them. Okay. And then we sat down with them and they had to sign it. And we have a very low tolerance, three strikes. And then if you're over 18, then.

Yeah, because you can get in big trouble if your kids are not 18. Just so you know, they can't kick them out of the house. Then they would have to like figure it out. The law's coming for you. That's the way it is. As it should.

If they're under 18, you've got to take care of your kids. You absolutely do. Yeah, but taking care of them doesn't mean giving them all the amenities. No, right. No, no, no. But you should just kick them out. You can't put them homeless. But you can make their life a living hell.

True. While they live with you. You can give them consequences, absolutely. Make their life of living hell. Or that. Yeah. Go ahead. Okay.

I love that you did the contract. We did contracts with phones and driving. And then by the time my girls became adults, their relationship with the Lord was very strong. So I kind of dealt with things prior to them being adults. And we did have a situation. I can't go into like crazy details. I don't think. But one of the things that I told my daughter, she was being sneaky about something.

And I'm like, you're going to get caught. 100%. You're going to get caught. And it was the different situation. And she did. She got caught. And so what did I do in that? Every time it came up, I told her, like, you're going to get in trouble for this.

and but I guess she's under 18s. I can't kick her out. Yeah. All these things. But I absolutely would take, I would have my daughters leave our house if they, if it was a heaven or hell issue. And I've done all that I can do. Yeah. Conversations.

Hearing them out. Being very, I would, I would go at the full gamut as far as I could go. And then if they still were like absolutely not, my mom had to do this. So did mine. Right. I got kicked out. Right. I'm two for two, people.

Yeah. I'm two for two. These are not, this is not a pleasant experience for me. It gives people great hope because look at you now. I know. So true. Look at you now.

You know? Look at you. And this is hard because I know I can speak for you, Tracy. Like I love my kids. Yes. To the ends of the earth. Like, but I also love the Lord. And I'm not going to put my children on a pedestal and worship to them.

It's not for their benefit. it. Yeah. It's not. No, because the scripture is clear. Expell the wicked man from among you so that he might be saved. Yeah. You don't, if you allow and enable bad behavior, the likelihood of them coming back to the Lord is highly improbable. Yeah. Right. Because they think that they can get away with being a Christian under the guise of sin. Right. Right. Yes. It doesn't work. Correct. At all. Well, that's okay, let me see. Well, here's a couple things. Okay, so I want to address a few things, which is not where we went, but to hit it on for people who are dealing with this.

If they ask you for money, like there are people who have kids living in their basement that don't work, or you have kids that are not living in your home that are living like ungodly lifestyle. and they're asking you for money, and you are giving it to them, you shut the faucet off. You don't give them money. You're enabling bad behavior. I talk to people all the time. They're like, I just want my kid to be saved.

Then quit enabling bad behavior. Tough love works. Trust me, I'm a reciprocal of tough love. It does work. You do not help somebody who needs to be saved. Only by, like, sometimes rock. Bottom is the only thing that will ever wake them up. And you have to watch it.

Like I've known people who've literally had to turn their kids in and have them arrested. You don't think that's easy? You think that that is like, oh, okay, let's do that. No, that was a very tough decision. But they knew and they understood that if their kid was going to be saved, it probably would have to be by hitting rock bottom. That means jail and maybe not seeing them for a while. but that's what you do.

Like, you don't keep helping them thinking that help is going to be the thing that saves them. It's not going to be the thing that saves them. You do not financially support or enable bad behavior. Like, I've known people who literally will keep buying things, one thing after another for their kid, that is a piece of crap. And they're just a dormant for this child. You're not helping them. Understand that.

They think, well, I just don't want them to not love me. Who cares? They don't love you now. They're using you. I don't get it. Wake up. Wake up. What if they want to bring something into your home that violate your convictions?

You just said you'd kick them out. I would kick them out 100%. I got kicked out. You would kick them out. I can't as hard as that is. But my biggest, I don't know if it's pet peeve or what it is, enabling, like when you're saying this, it's like making my skin crawl. Like watching somebody.

Oh, it happens. disrespect somebody. Like I just, it wouldn't get there. Like, it won't. And if it did, it would be so cool. But you know, people, kids literally say that are in high school or even in grade school will say to their parents, I hate you. Right.

Yeah. Like, we'll curse them out. Yeah. And the whole entire time, the parent will either, like, if the teachers are called to the school, they'll be like, my kid would never do that. It's the teacher. It's not, like, what are you thinking? Mm-hmm.

The kids got horrible behavior and you're backing it up and you're blaming somebody else other than your child for ill behavior even in school. And you know the whole entire time they act like a piece of crap in the house. So why it makes you think they're not going to act like that at school? Delusion. Exactly. Yeah. No, I just couldn't. I couldn't.

No way. Ephesians 415 says, tells us to speak the truth and love. And truth without love can become harshness. I mean, it is, truth sometimes is harsh. But you got to be able to take it. And as long as you raise wimpy kids, they'll never be able to handle tough love. But love without truth can become enabling.

And I'm just telling you, it really is. Galatian 65 says, for we are each responsible for our own conduct. So remember that when you're raising this child and they're now in a adult, adult, you played a part in it. But now that they're an adult, they're responsible for their conduct. Don't continue to play a part in it. Remove yourself from that equation so they can fix their conduct. Yeah. Don't enable. Do not enable. And if you hear from the Lord, like, he'll tell you what enabling is. And because some people are like, well, how do I know? You know when you're enabling. You look at the fruit of their life. You're a lot. You're a lot. You're a little. You're

life is there complete chaos probably there shouldn't be you shouldn't have chaos in your house no and i will tell you the best thing my parents did for me is make me deal with my own consequences for my own actions otherwise yes yes otherwise i would have kept on the hamster wheel just get bailed out every time every time there's a consequence somebody bails you out of course you're going to keep doing it 100 percent But that's true in life. It is. So do it while your kids are young. Let them pay for their own consequences.

Don't bail them out. Don't bail them out. Obviously, I mean, okay, like third grade and younger. I mean, but when they hit fourth grade, you're 10. And even before then, you know what you're doing. But at 10, fourth grade, make them pay for their consequences. That's the best thing you can do. On Friday, we're coming back to play.

Oh, boy. What would you do? I like it. Yeah. See you on Friday. If you got to, this is the time. If you have a child that's a youth, high school youth group. Yes, high school.

Make them go. Yes. Get them here. Like, don't let them decide what they're doing. Right. Or say it's not a priority to you, like Jeff says. Don't say, just say it's not a priority for my kids to be at youth. Yeah.

Just say that. Yeah. We're too busy. No, you're not. You can be here. me here tonight if you're a youth kid uh see on Friday my real talk