The Hope Hotline - I Love Jesus... My Family does NOT! Holidays Feel Like a War Zone, Help!

Episode Date: June 11, 2025

The Hope Hotline | S03-E41 | 06-11-2025

Hello and welcome to the Hope Hotline. Thank you for joining us today. This beautiful non-rainy Wednesday. God bless it. I know, finally. Finally. I am sick of the rain. And I would say that that's a problem, but it's probably gonna, we're gonna bring it

up, kick it up a notch, probably in July, August and September. Yeah. It's just the beginning. This is just the beginning. I like the rain. I love it. So does Tootie. I got water problems right now. I like the rain in small dosages.

Me too. Like a day. Sprinkles. Yeah. I'd go weeks of rain. No, I am solar powered. I need that. Yeah, you need that. Same.

That's how you run. Just sprinkles here and there. I'm fine with sprinkles. Yeah. And nothing that makes us go into droughts, but the rain is just too much. So hopefully for the rest of the week, it's nice and sunny. It was 95 degrees per my car this morning.

So if you don't live in the state of sunny Florida, you're enjoying really great weather. Yeah. That is cool. Spring, summery weather. Yeah, yeah. But not us. It's hotter than Hades. True, true.

I don't know what to say. I got nothing. Okay. I got nothing. Got nothing. Mm-mm. Okay. Let's do it. Wanna just do it? Yeah, do it too.

All right. If you are live on Facebook, we are glad that you're watching. Let's see, cancel, I say, see who's watching right now. Actually, I'm just gonna go to Rumble and see who's over there. Hey, Sharon, glad you're joining us. If you are watching on YouTube,

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And if you are on TikTok, I'm glad that you're joining with us. We will have a double, Norma's in the background. We'll have a double live in a second once we get that going. But I'm glad that you're here and we're excited to get this podcast up and going today. We have a few good questions, so stick around to find out about that. If you have your own questions, we'd love to hear from you. You can send them in to askhope at hopehotline.com. You can also send them in through DM on Instagram or on TikTok, wherever, I'll probably find them somehow some way. But if I don't and you've sent one in, or if you sent one in a long time ago

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We're going to try to get them over here as well so you can come watch us. So if you're watching on the Hope hotline TikTok right now, I'm glad that you're watching with us. If you want a better user experience, you can head over to Rumble or you can just hang out on TikTok with us. We are we have a bunch of stuff that we put up on TikTok over there as well. And yeah, we're excited to be able to be on all these different platforms. And again, beat the algorithm. Nick Hansen will be here on July 2nd. So that'll be exciting.

I can't wait. I'll have a great story to tell and some fun stuff going on for that day. So he is one of our sponsors. So you'll want to check that out for sure. Don on for that day. So he is one of our sponsors so you'll want to check that out for sure. Don't miss that day. Natalie will be back. She's usually here every single month so we're gonna figure that out. We've got some big stuff going on at the end of the month. We got a new dare to be coming up so we'll have to figure out Natalie's situation but yeah we'll have her back on. So in that case, please send in any

questions that you have for her. We'd love to get those answered. A couple more. Instagram, follow us over there. It's easy to find us. The Hope Hotline, pretty much everywhere you look. And then our merch also. We have that available. FoundationChurchFL.com. Click shop or come to Foundation Church on Sunday and you can buy some there you cannot take it you can buy it and then you can take it once you purchase it but I think that's pretty much it for today lovely yeah it's a lovely day I have you guys I don't know who needs to be doing this, but I got coffee coming. So somebody needs to be watching that.

Just let me know and I'll go grab it. Yeah. I can't tell because TikTok is using my phone. Yeah, Kellyanne, when you see it pop up. They're heading our way right now. It should pop up. Just let me know and I'll go get it. Stay on the phone.

Yeah, I know, you know. I'm so get my phone. Yeah, I know, you know. I'm so tired right now. She needs a boost. You look great. I'm living on fumes. Looking like a beauty queen. Beauty queen. I didn't even do my hair.

Okay. Oh, okay. Thank you for that. Same. Did you stay up late? Oh my gosh, did I stay up late? I was, I've been working like a dog. Oh my God.

So I go home after Tom's podcast and I'm laying there in bed and I'm like decompress, decompress. And it's one in the morning and I get a text and I'm not asleep, but I'm like right there. And I get a text and I'm not asleep but I'm like right there and I get a text from my son, mom can you send me the insurance car insurance information please? No. No. I'm like I call him did you get pulled over? Yes ma'am I did and I'm like yikes. I call him, did you get pulled over? Yes ma'am, I did.

And I'm like, I can't get in on my app to send a picture. I can't get in on my computer. I'm having to read by this time he's now gotten a ticket. Oh gosh. Because the cops tired of waiting. Right. So I didn't go to bed. I didn't go to bed until like quarter to two or something like that. So I didn't go to bed, I didn't go to bed until like quarter to two

or something like that. Then I didn't go to sleep immediately. So yeah. Oh, okay. Well it's better than what I thought. I thought it was gonna be like an accident. Oh no, thank you Jesus. I know.

That does not, that is not and will not happen. Absolutely it won't. No, he was down going to Munchies and the cops are down that way trying to pick up. Right. They saw him come out of Munchies. So they think he's either high or drunk. One of the two.

Cause Munchies, hello. It's called that for a reason. Not a great place to go. Munchies 420. Yeah. But it's delicious. It's so good. But they got the best chicken and waffles.

It's so good. Oh my gosh. Yeah. But because of that, the cop was sitting there waiting for people to pull out of munchies. And as soon they found out that he's not one of theirs, that he had to give him something. Cause he even was like, he said his tags,

his ticket, that his tags were expired. I'm like, no, they're not. I said to Tommy, he's like, no, they're not. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Oh boy. Cops. Jeez. They've been pissing me off recently.

Oh man. I'm not joking. They've been ridiculous recently. This reminds me to know, like to know where my registration is. And I don't even have my insurance. I shouldn't have sent that. Insurance cards are important.

I have insurance, but I don't have it in my car. Just give me the app. Digital copy. I have one for you now. Put it in your car, it's on my desk. Perfect. Thank you. I'm pretty sure my registered is in my car.

My momager should be. For anybody who's watching, Tom was a cop. So I'm not busting cops on Mickey. Yeah, she was a cop wife. Busting cops a little bit. They're last night and the night before, they've been- Married to one. Up tight little turds. They are last night and the night before, they've been- Married to one. They've been-

Up tight little turds. They are up and down this road right now. I am. Well, they're just pulling people over. They're all over. They're everywhere right now. Quotas, must be quotas. I know, North Point is like wild right now.

I'm like- Listen, I ain't a cop hater, but right now I am a little. They're annoying me. I can't speed anywhere. I go the speed limit. I don't. Yeah, you're good.

You're safe. But I'm still paranoid. They're on a rampage right now. I can't speed anywhere. I go the speed limit. I don't. Yeah, you're good. You're safe. But I'm still paranoid. They're on a rampage right now. I only go... They're on a rampage. They are. So needless to say, I got a question. Okay. Speak loud.

I just don't have a question. Can I answer my own question? You can. It requires little to no brain power. Okay. We're ready. I don't have it. I don't have can. I'll answer it. It requires little to no brain power. Okay. Okay. We're ready. I don't have it. I don't have one.

That requires brain power. I'd have to think of one. Oh my gosh. All right. Let's go to the first question. Let's do it. Let's go. I need that coffee really fast.

That's what I'm saying. It's coming. I'm barely hanging on people. It's been many days of late nights. Okay. Says, I love Jesus, but my family isn't Christian. And sometimes it feels like we're living on different planets.

Every holiday turns into a minefield and I'm tired of the tension. How do I honor my family without watering down my faith? Well, I'm gonna tell you right now, everybody, pretty much everybody in this room, well, I don't know about Kelly. Kelly's sitting here too, but pretty much everybody in the peanut gallery, except for Tracy,

knows what this is like. Tracy, on the other hand, she lives in gumdrops and bubble gum and rainbows. Bob's key's the best. She doesn't ever deal with any, like even your extended family besides your personal family. You never have dealt with tension or anything. Yeah, there's, there's a couple,

but they don't, they kind of stay away. That's not the way it is. I know, I know. So that's like the favor is that they don of stay away. Oh, my family did that. That's not the way it is. I know, I know. So that's like the favor is that they don't come around. Interesting. Yeah, yep.

I got a couple, but not, yeah. But yeah, for the most part, I know. I mean, Vanessa, you've had to deal with it too, correct? Isn't that what you said? Not your in-laws, I'm saying you've had to deal with tension with different family member at different times for holidays or nobody came around.

This is the person saying every holiday turns into a minefield. Mine's not every holiday, but we've had holidays where it was pretty tense. Yeah, I know. Because we're all on different sides of things. And that's rough. Yeah, I was thinking my in-laws aren't like believers

necessarily, but it's always just like chill. Copacetic. We stay in our lanes, you know? Yeah. That doesn't always happen with everybody that's in your family. Right. Yeah, my brother being one.

Yeah, I mean, I've had it too with my family. Yeah. Yeah, it's not always the easiest. Yeah, I can handle that. Just don't talk to them. That's what I do. Well, in some ways that's possible and in other ways it's not.

And this person's trying to like, this person is trying to figure out how to navigate and keep their faith when the landmine happens. Are they like being questioned about their faith? Like a lot or like? I don't know. I don't know, it doesn't say that. It just says that, how do I honor my family

without watering down my faith? Cause they're not saved. And it's like being polar opposites of each other. Which being polar opposites are okay. I mean, like on Tom's side of the family, we're very polar opposite, but like for the most part, except for certain things,

hey, I think they're out there. God bless. He's calling, or she's calling. The one of them are calling. You need her pin number. Um. Hey. She's calling, or she's calling. The one of them are calling. Okay, so. It's very important. It is very important.

If this podcast is gonna keep going, it's super important. Like when COVID was around, that was very, because that was different because we were very opposite and they were very vocal. Okay. They didn't see eye to eye on it. Now my family, there were some of us very opposite, but nobody was vocal.

That's not always the case on my side of the family with Christianity, because we're all for the part, Christians in my family, but all of us have differing viewpoints on Christianity and what that looks like. Whereas Thomas' family, not Christian, they're Catholic, which people say, well, that's Christianity too, but I'm just saying it's different though, like from ours. It's a differing theology of Christianity and they don't even practice.

They don't practice Catholicism at all. They say they're Catholic, but I would say, even though they say they're Catholic, that when you don't practice it, I mean, what is that? I don't know, cause I'm not Catholic. Do you know? Like, do you know other, not practicing, but is that? I don't know, cause I'm not Catholic. Do you know? Like, do you know other, not practicing, but would they even call themselves like,

there are people who are Christians, they don't live like Christians, don't even go to church. They call themselves Christian in their lives, but we would say they're not saved. Okay, but Catholics, they don't consider themselves to be saved, they call themselves Catholic, right? Cause Tom never said he was saved. When he was Catholic, he just said, I'm Catholic.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, they just call themselves Catholic. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then they'll be like, oh, are you practicing? And they're like, well, I only go on like holidays and stuff. Christmas and Easter.

But I got christened and baptized in the church. CCD and all that, yeah. Okay, so, okay, I'm not off on this. I don't think so. Okay, so they say they're not practicing. I mean, and they really don't ever, God bless you. And they never really, so they never really say anything

to us about anything Christian, religious in their eyes or whatever, but the other stuff is like a hot topic on other things. So for us, there's been no landmines except for when COVID came around. And landmines on my other side, when it comes to Christianity and things. No, nope.

That small one's mine and the other one is Heather's and I need a straw if it came with a straw. Okay, then God bless. Thank you dear. You're not even close. And so for me, this is what I say. Well, what do you guys say? What would you do?

Well, Tracy has no experience so we're not gonna listen to anything she says because she doesn't even know what she's talking about. I'll check out. What would I do in this scenario? Or what do you do in this scenario? Well, I mean, I kind of like live this out with my own, with Jeff's family.

But she's saying like, there it's a minefield and you don't do that with your family. I know I don't know. Are you coming in there like say Jesus is Lord? Yeah you're going to hell. Yeah which is not smart. Are you going in there with your own agenda with you know what you want to see taking place like are like are you going in their hostel? That's Heather's. Oh, it is Heather's. So it all depends on like how you're entering into the situation, the home, the scenario.

That's a good point. Because it's very peaceful. Like whenever I'm around, you know, my family members. I was there for the hurricane with you guys and her in-laws. It's very peaceful. And we had a great time. Yeah.

See, and that- Crazy situation. Tom's family. You know? I don't know how they would be peaceful in a hurricane, but I'm just saying when we're normally with them, it's a breath of fresh air. Like it's easy peasy.

Like his cousins, like she's, and his, and her kids, it's super easy., and her kids, it's super easy. And we're not, we're the only Christians walking into the room. And I mean, we're the ones- So my question, did you set up boundaries? Did you guys say like, we're just not talking about these things?

No, everybody's just super respectful of one another. We don't cross lines. But here, we never had to have a conversation. Never. Right, right, okay. They just know where we stand. We know, and. They just know where we stand. We know where they stand. I know buttons are pushed for the most part. We've had different family members try and push buttons,

but the people that are close to them basically say, knock it off. It's usually somebody married into the, yeah, that makes sense. Where it happens. But we're not in there like, yeah, I'm like you Vanessa. I'm not walking in there like trying to like preach or storm the gates of hell or whatever.

I mean, I just- I let my life be a witness to them. You know, when I'm in the room, I change the atmosphere, you know, like peace enters with me, joy enters with me. Yeah. And so I just don't, it's hard for me to relate to this. To a certain degree, it is for me, excuse me,

and then in other parts, it's not. Like because on my other side of the family, my personal side, we're all very strong, opinionated people, but saved, and it's a different thing because I'm not trying to win them to the Lord. Right. We just have differing theologies on things.

And so usually we try and keep that off, but there've been times like literally, it's kind of looked like the Jerry Springer show a couple of times. My gosh. That's not, it's not really involved me. I keep my, I usually just try and just. You grabbed the popcorn.

A couple of times. A couple of times, or I left. Yeah. I left. Yeah. I mean, it has like, I mean, Tommy was one of them when he got into a boxing match with one of my nephews. Oh my gosh.

And they were younger. Then I left. That was me being the Jerry Springer, my son. Did he get tired of being picked on? Like he touched a punching bag. So he finally was like, okay, I'm not going to be the punching bag. You're gonna be the punching bag.

Put you in a headlock. Did it happen again after that? Never again. Okay, well. Okay, I'm going from my side. I mean, cause I even go back to the scenario with my brother who thinks very differently than me. And he came to me and was like, listen,

we can no longer agree. And I don't want to have anything to do with you. And it was very, like not peaceful, but it was very respectful. It was no like fighting back and forth and making sure that I had the last word and I was like, all right. Yeah.

Well, I've been ghosted by my siblings, one particular sibling, I've been ghosted by them. Yeah. But. We have been reunited. Same here. Yeah, so that's really cool. So for me, I think a lot of times people get devastated

when family situations arise, okay, it happens, and lots of them. I think it's how you deal with them. And a couple of things, one is, well, speak about being the example, which is what Vanessa said. I think that that is the most important thing you could possibly do.

Less words, more actions and being the examples. But I would say when there is conflict, how you respond to that conflict also determines where you are spiritually speaking. What I mean by that is this. If you harbor resentment, bitterness, anger, that is this, if you harbor resentment, bitterness, anger, and you act on that and you do not have forgiveness,

well shame on you. That doesn't mean that you don't have boundaries. And that doesn't mean you allow yourself to be a doormat. But what that does mean is that you show that in the moments where it counts, that when there's where it counts that, when there's a need for that person, for example, I will say my brother, my brother grew up with three sisters. That's a rough existence.

Especially with the three of us because we're diametrically all different personalities. And we're all type A. Oh wow. All four of us. That's tough. Okay, that's hard. Unless your mother.

All four of us are. My mom was type A. Oh, she was? And so was my dad. But not your brother? My brother is too. Oh my gosh. Everyone, get me out of here.

That whole family. Everybody in the whole family. It's bad. That's wild. It is too. Oh my gosh. Get me out of here. The whole family. Everybody in the whole family. It's bad. Wild. It is bad. Mm-mm. So I feel for him, but at the same time, like he was tough too, but that's gonna tip over.

Here's the thing. So he's the one that will tend to be like, I need space, which I don't necessarily agree with it, but at the same time, I mean, the only guy out of three girls and drama, I mean, girls are just, not me so much, cause I'm more like a guy, but even I can still be a girl. And like, it's a lot sometimes dealing

with all those personalities. And I say that knowing that as much as like, we've irritated the tar out of him where he's really wanted nothing to do with us. And except for like high by kind of thing. and except for like high by kind of thing. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, and I say this all the time, but beyond a shadow of a doubt,

no matter how far into whatever extent of hatred, anger, bitterness, whatever the man was feeling towards any of us, if I needed one thing, anything, he would have come to my rescue. If I needed one thing, anything, he would have come to my rescue. No matter what state of mind he was towards any of us. And I say that to say to you, can you respond the same way? If your family has a mind field,

you're all ticked off at each other, can you get beyond all of that to be there for one another in the, in the clench? Like, because that really signifies how deep of a love you have for one another. You may be irritated with each other in this moment and this time will pass, but really, where do you stand when it comes down to

when things really matter? And a lot of times people won't be there for each other because they allow that anger towards somebody or that hatred towards somebody to get in the way of doing what's right. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's more Christ-like, to be honest with you. Like you don't have to like somebody,

you have to love them and love is a commitment. And that means that you get beyond your feelings in those times and you do what is right. Love is unconditional. Without condition. Yeah. So, sometimes the bomb's gonna go off. At most homes, a bomb's gonna go off,

but you gotta know this too shall pass. We're gonna get beyond this. Yeah. You don't sit and talk to each other about one another. You keep it private between the two. Cause gossip will even. Oh man, that is so true. Yep.

And I believe that the fact that my brother and I are reunited now, it is because of how I handle that situation. I could have totally burned a bridge and we would still be a strange. Yeah. And so I saw the fruit of my approach but also prayer. Yeah, that's huge. Yeah. It's huge. I would say if you're gonna talk about being an example, like I think there's a great scripture that's referenced in 1 Peter 3.1. And this scripture is in particularly referencing

when a woman is married to someone who's not saved. So, a lost husband, an unsaved man. But I think this scripture, it can work for anything. If it can work for a woman praying and believing for her husband that's not saved, I think it would work for a family member. So what it says in 1 Peter 3.1 is, in the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Now that doesn't mean you accept the authority of a family member or whatever the case may be. But this is speaking specifically to wives that you need to know your husband is the priest of the home. And then it says, then even if some refuse to obey the good news, which is the Bible, Christianity,

your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over. So it's like Vanessa was saying, you don't need to say anything. Be the example. And oftentimes that speaks louder than words and goes a lot deeper and penetrates the heart. More than you even could fathom, your actions show really a lot of times the depths of your affections towards somebody. And that's profound for a lot of people. And again, it will penetrate their heart. So I think if you stick to that example, like don't say anything, just be an example. And watch and see. Your family will change.

But Tracy, since you don't deal with it, I'll still let you talk. I would say if you go in, people love talking about themselves. So if you're struggling, breaking that tension, if you know anything about them, they just moved. Their son had a kid. Anything.

They start a new job. Ask them about it. And if you have to have that hard conversation, hey, we don't agree on certain things, but I still would love to be able to see you on Christmas, and it's not awkward. Sometimes you just got to say the hard thing, but then have something ready to talk to them about.

And don't talk about yourself. Just talk to them. Ask them all the questions. People love talking about themselves, especially men. So it's true though. It's true. And so if you need to break that down, that's probably one way to do it. And just pray.

And just pray for your future too, that you can break this cycle. Because my family did. Somewhere down the line, somebody broke it. And we've, because we've all served the Lord, we've kept it going. So. Yeah, that's, I mean, it's super important. It's super important because really the only thing you can take to heaven is your family. And they're a worthy investment.

Not only your children, but your siblings and your aunts, uncles and cousins this morning in my prayer time. That's one of the things like I was praying over. I always, when I pray over salvations, I usually specifically name people that I'm really believing in going after. But then, you know, it's not just them.

And this morning I was like, oh my gosh, I am not naming all of them. But then, you know, it's not just them. And this morning I was like, oh my gosh, I am not naming all of them, but then you do think about it. There's your aunt, your uncle, your cousin, your nephew, your nieces. And I'm like, all of us have an enormous amount of people that we want saved, besides our siblings and our nieces and our nephews. So there's a lot of people that need salvation.

And I for one, don't even want my friends or people that I know not to go to heaven. So I can't even imagine my family members not being there when I go. So that's the goal. The goal is shut your mouth, live it out, and see what happens. Cause I think you'll be shocked. You'll see more fruit from that than anything else.

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whatever you do and He will establish establish your plans the number for them is 941-460-3962 and again 941-460-3962 next question okay guys I have no idea No idea. We started talking about this on Friday. I have absolutely no idea about this. And you said this is common, but I was clueless and I still am. So I have a few things, but I'm gonna probably go to you two, because you know more about it than me.

Okay, it says, my friend just told me she's deconstructing her faith. And now I'm questioning mine too. I didn't expect to be hit with so much doubt and I'm scared. Is it wrong to question what I've always believed and what should I do with all these doubts? So since I didn't have any idea what that meant, I looked up the definition for it.

Deconstructing your faith or religious beliefs is a process of systematically questioning and reevaluating your deeply held beliefs and practices. It involves examining the foundation, truthfulness, and impact of your faith, potentially leading to changes or a complete abandonment of your beliefs. Now, let me tell you this.

I feel like to a certain extent, if I'm understanding this correctly, pretty much everybody that I know that grows up in a Christian home, I feel like they do this to a certain extent. I feel like I did this at 18 years of age, 18, 19. And then I walked away from God till I was 24, because I was like, do I believe what I believe

or do I believe it because my parents told me to believe it? Yeah. And through that process, I lost, I just totally walked away from Christianity. So is that deconstructing your faith? Is that what that's like? Because a lot of people I know have done this and it's always right around the same age. Yeah.

That grew up in Christian homes. Yeah, I don't know a lot about it, but from my understanding, that's what this is. And I asked Chad GPT. Okay. Of course, right? Yeah. What is he saying? At its core, it's a personal process of unpacking beliefs, doctrines, and church traditions, often triggered by hurt, disillusionment, moral failure of leaders,

or encountering hard questions that the church didn't address well. See, that wasn't me. Yeah. Right. And I think sometimes it is what you did hope and that's part of it. It's not that they lose their faith, but they're modifying it. And sometimes that's for good and sometimes that's for bad. Another one, they are, they're leaving religion totally because of that moral failure and

all that kind of stuff. They change from being like us, like from religious to spiritual. So like the new age thing, they'll like deconstruct what they learned and they'll take some Christian stuff and some of this. And then some people just keep the tradition of Christmas and Easter. And that's what ChatGBT kind of concluded. It says sometimes this results in a stronger refined faith and other times it's rejection of Christianity altogether. Yeah.

So, basically what it's happening when people deconstruct their faith is if like, like they're not examining, like they are examining, but I was triggered because I was like, do I even wanna be a Christian? Right. Because I've done this all my life. This is because of something that's occurred

to make them question Christianity, correct? I think sometimes, I think it could be all. Yeah, I don't think there's like a reason why people do it, but it is a big thing right now is to deconstruct. And like, I guess it could be all. Yeah, yeah. I don't think there's a reason why people do it, but it is a big thing right now is to deconstruct. And I guess it could be used for good, but usually it's bad. Katy Perry is a good example. She grew up strict Pentecostal.

Yeah. Her dad was a pastor and all that kind of stuff, and now she doesn't even identify as religious at all. She says, I don't believe in heaven or hell, but I do believe in a higher power. But yet she's bawling like a baby when they do their faith based. Because there's no firm foundation.

She was crying. What did you say Norma? When C.C. Winans was singing on the American Isle, she was bawling her eyeballs out. Yeah. Of course. That's her spirit knows. Right.

And that's what I think. That's the reason why, cause I think she says that all that stuff, Tracy. Yeah, right. But I don't think this year, I don't think that's what she wants to believe she feels, but I don't think that's, I think she knows her heart hearkens back to what she grew up in and what she knows to be true.

And that void will never be filled no matter how much money you have, no matter who your husband is, how many kids you have. Whether you go to space or not. That is true. I think it's a couple of reasons why people do what they do when they... Cause I did something very similar to you mom,

when I was about, I think I was 19, but there was more than one reason why I did what I did. It wasn't just because my parents were both pastors and I grew up in it. It wasn't because I was, I mean, it was, I was also curious about the world, but there was just a lot of things going on in my head that makes you, it's like, kind of like a waterfall effect

of once you open one door, all the other doors start opening because you're just opening a very negative thing and you carnally already go to the negative. So you think I've already done this. So what's the big difference if I do this? There's no difference. And like one thing that I feel like a lot of females do

is that, especially when you're a Christian, you kind of go, I was hurt at this age by this person, why did God let this happen? Or my thing was more medically, I was hurt medically for a very long time. When I was a child, why did God let that happen? I blamed God instead of taking initiative myself where I was like,

okay, but you were also old enough to know about God and believe in that. I had to take that responsibility back. Sometimes it's a responsibility thing. You take it and you just blame everything on God and not yourself. So it's easy to open that door and leave. Cause you're like, well, if he's not responsible for me,

why am I responsible for myself? So you just leave. It's a lot of like, I'm just going through what the doors that opened in my head. There's a lot that goes on when you start to unpack your brain. Cause you start to unpack your brain. Because you always go to the negative. Your heart is always going to the negative.

Unless you're a great human being who always goes to the positive. But most of the time it's always a negative. And as soon as you open one thing, you're going to keep opening more. Because you just keep finding more and more problems that aren't actually problems. It's just you. you're carnal. So that's more of like how I thought of things when I didn't really leave Christianity. I just, I would say I was lukewarm

and then diving into leaving, but I would say basically I was going to hell if I died at one point. So I was on the line a lot. Yeah. It's weird. It's a weird mindset. I don't know.

And I think it's usually a thing that happens in a young adulthood, too, because of the pre-frontal cortex. It's still- Your frontal lobe isn't fully- Frontal lobe, yeah. I actually think it's more common when you're younger. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, your brain's still figuring out impulsive control and complex thinking all those things that your brain doesn't really understand yet And so you do you are gonna do worst-case scenario because you only have the experience that you have and it's so it feels so big To you because that's all it's your experience and you're so, you know focused on yourself because you're always gonna look out for number one and so and you're so focused on yourself because you're always gonna look out for number one. And so. Hi, relative baby. Number one, everything's about you. Everything's about you. Blame everything on everybody else except for yourself.

And then higher education is another issue. Most people go to college. So that starts to put different ideas in their head. A lot of people travel, so they experience different cultures. So that makes them think, well, so why? One of our questions we're going to do next week at Abide is, why do you think Christianity

is the true religion? Why is your version true? Why is nobody else's true? And so those questions come into your mind when you start talking to other people, and you're outside of your bubble at church. So you've been in your whole life. You know?

You just, things, yeah. I think've been in your whole life, you know, you just things. Yeah. I think it's also about who you surround yourself to because when I started getting these thoughts, I was working at a restaurant where no one besides one person I knew who was a Christian and they weren't even that good of a Christian. So like wasn't good. I was around them 24 seven.

Right. So, and as soon as I divided myself, well, I started to divide myself at the end of working there, but like, if you don't do that and you end up gravitating towards these people, you will turn into these people. And all they do is question themselves every day, all day, drink their life away, you're gonna become that same person.

You're gonna become miserable. It's, I mean, it's in the Bible. You're not supposed to be friends with unbelievers. I mean, you can be around them, but you shouldn't be always around them. So I can say for me, that's where a lot of it started for me, being around horrible human beings. They're not horrible, they're just not saved.

I would say most of them were horrible because they were doing things that I will not say on here because if they ever see this, they were gonna be mad. So most of them are not good. There you go, I'll say that. Not good. You need a savior. Do you think that certain denominations open the door

to the deconstructing of faith? Absolutely. Yeah. I think so. Cause I think that's, I think that's, I feel like there are certain denominations that are very permissible about certain things like sin and that grace covers it. So you use grace as an excuse to get away from doing what is right.

Yeah, I think so. So then you begin to question, well, is that really a sin? Is it really wrong to do that? Even on the other end of the spectrum where, you know, how I grew up where like even wearing, you know, pants was a sin, which is ridiculous. Or going to the booby theater was a sin. Yeah. Like, yeah. That seems to be, it's the extreme,

like it's the extreme Pentecostal churches that aren't living out what they say. Right. So they're, you know, they're worshiping so hardcore. And they use religion as a weapon. Or like Amish. Yeah, they're Amish. The Mennonites.

Like it's so extreme. It's a poop outside. That's so extreme. Yeah, the Amish. The Mennonites. Yeah, yeah. It's so extreme. It's a poop outside. That's so extreme. You can't even go to the bathroom inside your house because it's seen as like, you're not supposed to have like dirtiness in your, it's like a whole thing.

It's a lot. And they call things that are not sin, sin. And so when you start reading the Bible for yourself and you start like, wait a minute, I feel like I've been lied to. Right. And that could either draw you closer to God and refine you, or it can pull you away.

You're like, forget this. Yeah, it's either the extreme extremes or the extreme lazy, like walks. That there's no, if you're not in the medium, which is the broad way, like, you know, broad is the way, and if you find it, that's because you have to be perfectly in, not in the middle of like, obviously worldly, but in the middle of the extreme, in the middle of lazy, because if you go anywhere outside

of that, you're either going to hate God or not care about God. You have to be in the middle where you hold the line with certain things that you know, and then also be like, alright, but it's also, if you mess up, you're not going to hell immediately. Make it right. You wear pants, Vanessa, you're not going to hell. Like, it's like, you know? It's like a fine line between these things

that it's kind of difficult to understand. Yeah. Makes my brain start to hurt. No, but you're right, it is. It's the extreme on both sides. And I can think of two different people, one that was in a lukewarm church, and they completely walked away. Because there was no power and no anointing.

So they're just like, you get bored. And then I can think of the other ones that were in, like you couldn't wear certain things, you couldn't go places, you couldn't have a Christmas tree, all the things. And then they're like, but I just want to be able to enjoy. I can't do Halloween. And so you're like, I just want to be able to enjoy my family

I don't want to have all these rules like I'd rather just be a good person Do good things do Christmas like sure Jesus was born. That's fine You know and he just like and it's so sad But really it's our responsibility Like if you hear something that doesn't sit right in your spirit and you see that it's not in the Bible like like don't get mad at people about it. Like, yeah, I understand when you're young because you trusted them, but like the Bible is even clear about that. Like count every man a liar and God's word be true. So you just like, you just, you have to like ownership. You got to take ownership. You do have to take ownership over your own walk with God. Yeah.

Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. A lot of times people aren't working it out. They're expecting somebody to dictate to them what they should believe, what they should not believe. And the thing is, is you really should be in your own word. Exactly. You should be studying it out. And some people love to be a victim. So they like, they go into this like club, we're all deconstructing and they're like bond over it. It's almost like everybody needs a mentor to guide them in everything they do it's like that is not life. Life is you or you come into this world alone you die in it alone okay you got this everybody can do it on their own it's fine grow mentally and you can do it

you're in the world naked you come come into it naked, you're gonna leave naked. So you got this. I was just reading Ecclesiastes and that's literally what he talks about. No matter if I make a ton of money or make no money. You leave it, you leave it empty. The rich die and the poor die. Everything is meaningless.

Everybody dies. So why make this more difficult than it has to be? That would have been Norma's book of the Bible. She had to write it. Ecclesiastes? Everything is meaningless. Well it is, at the end of the day, everything you have is not even yours. It's true. She would have read it. Everything is meaningless. Every, well it is! At the end of the day, everything you have is not even yours.

It's true. She's not wrong. When you get to heaven, nothing's, well, I mean, it is yours. But like everything is still God. So like give up. There's a time to cry. There's a time to mourn. To kill.

No, let's stop crying and let's get over things and let's grow up. Take Norma's word. There's a season for crying. Let it be fricking short. No one wants to be around a crier anyway. It's like God pushed him out of the house. Get out.

I mean, nobody wants to be around a whiny baby all the time. It's true. So have your 10 minutes as my mom has told me. All right. Whenever something bad has gone on in my life. Yeah. You got 10 minutes, cry it out, As my mom has told me, all right, whenever something bad has gone on in my life, you got 10 minutes, cry it out, get mad at the devil and get on it.

That's all I got. She's like, you have your day, now move on. I liked it. I liked it. It stuck with me and I went, don't ever be a whiny baby, you're fine. Don't be a whiny baby. If you're over the age of 12, stop.

Poor girl. That's a gauge. That's a good age. After 12, you're a teenager. of 12, stop. A poor girl. That's a gauge. That's a good age. After 12, you're a teenager. No one should be crying. Well, you mean. Cry when somebody dies. I got you there.

I'm gonna bawl all day. In case you don't know, this is Hope's daughter. I cried all day. Also Tom Life is talking. Oh, I'm just kidding. How you gonna? You're right. She doesn't cry.

My dad cries only at hallmark. True. Okay. That's about it. I have seen my mom cry maybe three times ever. And one of them was for a breakfast I made for her on Mother's Day. So it wasn't even something sad. She doesn't cry for bad things.

She does not cry. She cries for Jesus and breakfast. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. So I've never seen her crumble under pressure. No one else has a right. She's a woman.

No, she doesn't. Girl don't crumble. Oh, that is so f-f-funny. What? She cries for Jesus and breakfast. Jesus and breakfast. Is it? Mother's Day breakfast.

Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think. Literally every single other time, somebody died. Oh, okay. Even though I've seen her not cry over people dead. So it's like, no soul, man. She recently did a TikTok where it shows her like, what's your song?

And it's a song about having no soul. I know. It's like, no way. She's like, yes, why? Yes, that was the song she got. Vanessa's a bee. What was it called? I take that. What's that thing called on TikTok? Something? What was it called? I take that. What's that thing called on TikTok?

Something, your song search or something like that? No, like search what's my song. Yeah. Yeah, it was called, it was called you're numb. You're numb, that's what it was, you're numb. That's my mom. Literally it was called. Try growing up with that when you're really excited

about something, she goes, that's great. I'm so happy for you. You're numb. Also when you're like, feel something, she goes, that's great. I'm so happy for you. You're numb. Also when you're like, feel like your world's ending. All right. I was like, what is up with this song? Holy crap. She played it in the kitchen for me, Tommy and Talia.

And I was like, and Jagger was on the phone, I believe. And he's like, what is going, what is that song? I'm like, that's my mom's life song. That's her theme song. That's her theme song. That's her theme song. It's great. I don't know. Deconstructing.

Yeah. It's dangerous. That's all I'm gonna tell you. I think it's- Let me put in the comment. That was, it's actually what, going back to what we were just saying about like, like whatever about like mindsets,

somebody said, or even if you don't have to think, cause one saved always saved. If you have that mindset, it's also like bad. You'll do whatever the crap you want and you'll make yourself miserable. And then you wonder why you're miserable because you're sinning

and you don't really think you're sinning, but it still makes you miserable. Yep. That's a very, that's a very confusing theology to me. I've never believed it. I mean, I wasn't allowed to even date somebody who was a Calvinist. My dad, no, I wasn't allowed to date Catholics.

And I wasn't allowed to date Baptists. What's a Baptist belief on that? Is it the same thing? I know that, well, what's the difference between a Calvinist and a Baptist? Baptists are, they, John Calvin is the doctrine that they follow. Baptist believe.

So they once saved, always saved as well, Baptists are? Okay. Or they believed, never saved. Never saved? So they believe that you read, you said the sinner's prayer, but you never meant it. So you were never saved to begin with. What about Catholic then?

What's like, what's like the the difference between what's a Catholic? Which you know what? Here's the thing, I walked away from God, right? So I was talking and I've asked several people who are Calvinist this question. Cause you like the associated related churches is once saved always saved. Oh yeah.

Elevation church, all of those churches. Oh, they're all Calvinist. Yeah, they're all believers. And that's the doctrine, but then their messages preach that. So if you're an Assemblies of God Church, which serves plenty of them, that preach, they use that curriculum or that they use those tools, which is their sermons, you're preaching that theology and that's not a part of your doctrine, which is crazy to me. But what I said to somebody one time,

because when I walked away from the Lord, before I walked away from the Lord, I was like 19 years old, 18, 19 years old, I was 19. And I legitimately remember saying to my best friend at the time, I think I'm gonna give the God thing a break for a while. And they were like, they had already gotten their life right with God.

They had walked away for a couple of years themselves and had just gotten in there like, you don't wanna do that. And I'm like, no, I do. That was God right there. I do. I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna That was God right there. I do. I'm going to, I think I'm going to give it a break a while and see what's out there. And so I verbalized that walked away, lived like a hellion till I was 24 years old, came back to Christianity. And I was talking to somebody who was Baptist or they were, I think they went to a Baptist church, but they were, they believed in

once saved always saved. And I was saying to them, like, because they were trying to share this doctrine with me and I was like, okay, let me ask you this, because I walked away, I verbalized that I was walking away and then I lived in sin and they were like, well, you were still saved. And I'm like, how can that be? I verbally said, I'm turning my back on Christianity and I lived in sin and I can promise you if I had died in that state, I would have never gone to heaven. They're like, no, no, you would have. And I'm like, no, no. How can I verbally say I'm turning my back on Christianity? And they were like, well, and I'm paraphrasing,

well, then you were never saved to begin with. And I said, okay, well, if I was never saved to begin with and you could have never convinced me from five years of age when I got saved, which I clearly remember giving my heart to the Lord. It was so profound, I still remember it to this day, giving my heart at the altar to the Lord.

That from five to 19 years of age, I lived like I was a believer, like I am right now. I was a youth leader. I went to church. I didn't do anything that the other kids did. I loved the Lord. And if you're telling me I was never saved to begin with from five to 19,

and then I got my heart right with the Lord, how do I know I'm saved right now then? And they were like, well, that's a good question. And I'm like, your theology makes absolutely no sense. None whatsoever. And it's throughout the word. And then when you bring them those scriptures that clearly say, they have nothing to say with it.

All they say is that no man can take you out of God's hands, which is in Timothy. I believe it's Timothy. And I'm like, I know God can't take, I know that no man can take you out of God's hands. That is an actual fact, 100%. But you can remove yourself from his hands by the decisions you make.

And like me verbally saying, I'm gonna, like I know that I decided to remove myself from his hand. Yeah. So I just think that that theology is, and so for me, if you're deconstructing that theology, that would be kind of like, Yeah. Messed up.

Messed up and kind of scary. Yeah. And I do think that what Norma, you said is it's kind of like, kind of, you're, you're in peril, I think, because if you're living one way and you're convicted, because the Lord's going to convict you

and guilt is going to come calling, or you're gonna condemn yourself, because you know that lifestyle, as much as you wanna live in this sin, you know it is not parallel to the word of God. Just because innately the word says that we all know right from wrong. Absolutely.

I did. I knew it. So did she. So did I. Yeah, so did you. And I also knew I was going straight to hell. But in those moments, I did not care. I cared a little, but not enough.

I did not care. You didn't care. So for me- Wait, okay, one question. What is the, what's a Catholic then? What's their- Catholicism? Yeah, what, what's Catholic then?

Cause just for me- It's a religion that has a whole bunch of doctrines. And one- Is it the same thing though? Like one saved, always saved? Two or no? No. They don't believe in that, but they don't believe you really can ever not go to heaven. Is it the same thing though? Like one saved always saved? Two or no? No. No.

They don't believe in that, but they don't believe you really can ever not go to heaven. They believe that you can... if you die, if enough people pray for you, you're in purgatory, and you can go... you can be prayed into heaven. Purgatory? Yes. There's a lot of things with Catholicism. What the crap is that? There's a lot of things to it. It's very crap is that? It says a lot of things to it.

It's very complicated. There's an in between. In between. What is this? Stranger things? It's like the underworld. The upside down, we're going to the upside down before they pray us out.

You all better pray me out of that purgatory. I'll be so upset. Mom, you better be number one prayer right there. Actually, you'll probably be dead. It doesn't exist. I'm saying if it actually does, you guys better pray me out. It doesn't'll probably be dead. It doesn't exist. I'm saying if it actually does, you guys better pray me out. It doesn't, don't worry.

It does not exist. I know, but I'm just joking. If it was real, all of you that are watching, you better pray me out of that thing. Actually, they probably don't like me, don't do that. They believe in baptism too, that you have to, that's the beginning of your journey to salvation. Yeah.

Are they the dunkers that are dunking their children so hard? They just, they just- Some do, some do. They just give you a droplet of water. I've seen them be like- Me too, I've seen them dunk babies. They are, what is it, oh my gosh. But that's not the norm, though.

No, that's not the norm. No, it's not. It's usually a little tap tap and then- They're drowning those babies. You have to do sacraments. What's that? You have to have ongoing grace for living a holy life, so there's things that you have to do sacraments. What's that? You have to like have ongoing grace for living a holy life. So there's like things that you have to do

to make sure that you're living holy at all times. You have to confess to the priest. The confessions and repentance. That's what it is, the Catholics do that. And then the priests will hear. Imagine you have to confess all my dissents to my dad. And the priests will hear what you said. And then he'll like a prescription pad.

He will be like, okay, now you do five Hail Marys to our fathers and then you'll be good to go. And priests don't get married and nuns don't get married. Bro, what is this? Well, aren't we not supposed to call anybody else father on earth and we're calling these idiots father? Yeah. Yep.

Bruh. Bruh. And the priest reads the Bible to you. You don't read the Bible yourself. Yeah, it's not encouraged for you to read the Bible. They don't read the Bible and- No, only the priest can read it. And it's a different Bible.

What? It has different books in it. You know what I think is hilarious, but not in a funny ha ha way? I think this is hilarious how priests will read in Latin and nobody speaks it. And you're sitting there listening to the priest read to you in Latin, the Bible, and the whole entire time,

you have no idea what he said. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, but you don't read it, go home and read it. No, so you don't know anything that he just said. And you don't know, like, I mean, it's like- Is this who the Pope Francis was? Was this Catholic? Yeah, this is Catholic. The Pope's, the Pope's Catholic. like, I mean, it's like- Is this who the Pope Francis was? Was this Catholic? Yeah, this is Catholic.

The Pope's, okay. I'm understanding. I've just never cared to research any of this because I thought it was all gay. So- Interesting. It is interesting. It's very fascinating. This is weird.

This is some odd demonic crap. Who, I'm not calling anybody else father. Are you, what? You don't wanna confess your sins. And I have to tell you about what I did. You don't want to know what I did. Oh my gosh. You don't want to know what my mom did either. She was crazy.

Thank you. Mom's got some stories. Listen, mom got some stories. Dad's got some stories. True. Imagine everybody's got stories. Oh yeah, a hundred percent. But why would you want to tell it to just some random man?

You have to, because you want to have him to just some rando man? That's an obnoxious. If you're Catholic. He is rando. Okay. This guy could be diddling kids on the side and you're telling them your sins. That's bull crap. It's common. It's very common.

It was pretty rapid up North. I didn't know that was the Catholics. I didn't, I just knew it wasn't my church. So that's all I cared about. I know. That's true. That's true. I'm just kidding.

I can't hear what you say anyway. Again. I'm gonna get her absolutely in trouble. I'm sorry. I do want to ask the answer to this one question really quick before we move to the next thing. But it's this one is, I feel for this. It says, I, I've been here.

I've been here. I'm a mom of three little kids. Not that I had three kids, cause I only had two, but I'm a mom of three little kids. And honestly, I can't remember the last time I had a quiet time that didn't get interrupted by a diaper blowout or a meltdown.

I love God, but my special spiritual life feels non-existent right now. Is this just a season or am I failing? I think you're doing both, but here's the thing. Spiritual life feels non-existent right now. Is this just a season or am I failing? I think you're doing both, but here's the thing. I mean, I don't think there is not a mama in the room that does not feel like this person. That makes me sad though, a little bit.

Yeah, I think that, cause sometimes you feel stretched so thin. That quiet time, I remember when I homeschool my kids and I literally would be like, I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be out in 10 minutes. I didn't have to go to the bathroom. I needed quiet time.

So I've literally like, I'm getting away from both of you right now. I'm gonna go into the bathroom and I'll see you in 10 minutes. I literally would go in there and I'd cry. I did cry. I don't blame you, we were horrible. I did cry. I would cry sometimes or I just in there and I'd cry. I did cry. We were horrible. I did cry.

I would cry sometimes. I just sit there and go, make the 10 minutes last really, really long. Stretch out the 10 minutes, Lord. I'm dying. Please God help me. Cause when you're a mom, like, you don't, for me, I didn't, I mean, I did have friends

and I did sit on the phone and I would talk to them. Okay. I mean, I did have friends and I did sit on the phone and I would talk to them, okay? But like, I was very present with my kids. And like homeschooling makes you very present with your kids. Probably too present. And I actually enjoyed the rule when they were really little and they were in the diapers and they were running around.

That was, for me, that was easy. Except for Tommy, he gave me a little bit of running for my money, but as soon as I whipped him into shape, I was doing great. That's what I was gonna say, you got him. But for me, it was like grade school age when you're trying to teach them all the things and spiritually speaking,

keep it all together yourself and still teach them the spiritual things. That was tough. But I don't think there's anybody that hasn't ever felt like they were spiritually failing because they're like, they had no quiet time. That doesn't mean that it's acceptable and it doesn't mean that you stay in that place

because I think when everybody, including myself, felt like that, I kicked myself into gear and did what I had to do to get myself out of that. Would you say that's correct? Yeah, yeah, totally. Absolutely. And you make the small little moments count, like nap time and maybe getting up a little earlier

than the kids or going to bed later. You find the time, but also getting like, especially our church, we have a lot of hub groups like getting, and we have childcare available for those hub groups, like making sure that you're plugged in as well. Which is super important. I made a list of things that I think that if,

I think, first of all, I think if you don't do what, if you don't do what Vanessa was saying, if you don't get things, I call them course corrections. If you don't make the course corrections, I think that you need to look at down the road big picture. And I think that there'll be lots of regret if you don't get this taken care of. One would be you want wanna be the best mom that you can possibly be. Don't have quiet time with the Lord

and in the prayer time and see what happens because you're gonna find out you won't be the best mom. I know, I know what I speak. You'll not be the example for your kids and your kids need to see the example of somebody who does have quiet time with the Lord, prayer time, Bible time, going to church, being around people that you're like-minded. I think that you'll miss, there'll be a timeframe of you, you know, like Tom says that he wishes and I do too, there's time that is lost

when you don't spend time with God. Catching up and making up that time is not easy. Yeah. It's actually very, very difficult. And then you'll have the regret of, I lost all this time, now how long is it going to take me to get into the ministry that God's called me to do? Either why your kids, once you get passed to a certain place with your children, you're going to know that

God's got something more for you than that. And then you're going to be like, I'm behind the eight ball because I wasted so much time scrolling, watching TV, talking on the phones, because you really do have time. If you evaluated your day, if you truly evaluated your day, you would sit there and say, I make time to do the things that I like to do first. Which is probably TV, screen time, talking on the phones with your friends,

reading books, magazines. I used to read a People magazine and I literally stopped reading People magazine. And it was back then, back when People magazine wasn't anything like it is today. But I was like, I felt convicted. I'm like, you don't read your Bible but you sure have time for People magazine.

And you would be shocked because I'd be like, I don't have time. But when you literally lay out your day, and if you said the thing, because everybody, I tell people this all the time, everybody does one thing every day. They do one thing that they love every single day. I mean, all of us do.

And if you didn't allow yourself to do that one thing until you had spent time in prayer and Bible study, you'd make sure you did the prayer and Bible study facts. True. You just would. Yeah, I had to do that recently. You just would. So priorities, where's your priorities?

And you gotta put everything into perspective, but it's like you said, kids have nap time. Yeah. During nap time, instead of doing chores, like I used to do during nap time, I would do chores. I would start doing the dishes. I would vacuum the floor.

I would clean the bathrooms. Okay, all that can wait. That's not priority. Your walk with God is. Vanessa said, get up early. People actually have jobs. Get up early so they can have prayer time with the Lord.

So if somebody who has a job to do, just like you do, and goes to work in their car, but make sure that they get up early and have that time with the Lord, you can too. Or before you go to bed, if you're like me, I'm a night owl, okay? Cause some people aren't morning people, then do it before you go to bed, if you're like me, I'm a night owl, okay? Because some people aren't morning people, then do it before you go to bed. Make sure you set aside that time

for the Lord. You can do it. It's not that hard. And the other thing is, is a lot of times we spend a lot of time in the car. You can devote prayer time in that car time. You can devote to listening to the Word while you're in that car time, you can devote to listening to the word while you're in the car, instead of putting on music for the kids or whatever it is for them. A lot of times people have movies that they play in their cars for their kids.

You can actually have an earbud in your ear and listening to your phone and the word. There's all different kinds of ways you can get yourself filled up with scripture and with time with God. Be creative. Right. Right.

Be creative because you can do it. I think the common is to kind of like be in survival mode during childhood and the uncommon is to thrive. Right. And I believe we can thrive in motherhood. It just takes intention and priority. It's like, Jeff says this all the time. Quit saying you don't have time.

Just say it's not a priority. It's exactly right though. It's so true though. It's very, very true because whatever's important to you, you make sure you do all the time. And it's like when people say I'm too busy to call or I'm too busy, I don't have time to call somebody. No, they're just not important enough for you to call them

because if they were, you'd make sure you did it. That's the facts. That's the same way this is. It's no different. It's no different. We make time for what we really wanna do. And I'm on the other side of it. You guys are on the other side of it.

We don't have small babies, but I can promise you this. If you don't wanna live with regret like I do, because there were things that I could have done differently. Now my kids are grown and I can't get that time back. But I could have been a much better mother, much better wife if I would have had my perspective correct continuously instead of always playing catch up. It's not good.

And you will be miserable and you'll feel like you do right now if you don't get it right. Trust me on this, I do know. But there's hope. Cause tomorrow's a new day. Actually, there's tonight. So you can do it tonight. Yep.

Right now. Branding. And if you live in the area, if you live in the area, we have great groups like Monday nights we have a women's group. Then Tuesday mornings if you don't work, which sounds like you don't. Come on over. We got there abide group, which is Tuesday. Morning.

Tuesday mornings. Then, which is Tuesday. Morning. Tuesday mornings. Then, I mean, gosh darn, there's married couples on Wednesdays. There's, it's the Schuyler and Janels, which is phenomenal. Like all childcare. You wanna know more about the word than flip and go to Janel and Schuyler's

cause it's off the charts, like cream of the crop of a Bible study. They're amazing. I love them. There's just so many different ways for you to plug in. And you just need to do it. So that is all I got to say. You got anything to say, Trace?

I was going to say the last thing you said, so you pretty much took the words out my mouth. Which was? Well, I was going to say that at the, well, and you kind of said it too, is that when you have the amount of time that you do, even if it's a small amount of time, just do it anyways. And then just pray that God expedites that.

And then the last thing you said, as soon as you started saying it, I was like, that's what I was going to say. And I can't remember what it was because I'm trying to respond to Anne Marie that it's Steven Furtick is what she's asking. I don't know, the last thing you said, what did she say last? I know, I was like, oh, that's good.

Getting involved with other, with hub groups? Right before that. Oh, not having regret? Yes, that, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And because the thing is, you don't have to study your Bible, but in 10 years from now, you're probably going to be in the exact same spot that you are right now. So it's one or the other. Either you just are okay with in 10 years from now being in the same exact spot, doing

the same thing spiritually, financially, mentally, or every opportunity that you get, even if it's a small amount of time, just pray that God just increases that time, even if you only have five minutes, and just make them a priority. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added onto you. Yeah, which is, you don't seek Him so you can get those things, but just know, they're coming.

It's His promise, yeah. They're just gonna come. Spitting straight fire. The motive of the heart. I know. Make the motive pure, I'll watch Him pour out. Exactly. It's huge. Yep. It's a come. The motive of the heart. I know. Make the motive pure. I'll watch him pour out. Exactly.

It's huge. It's a huge thing. So thank you for joining us today. I hope that helped. Some young mama out there. I knew men did feel it too. Yes. Men feel it too.

Theirs is just different because theirs is work. Like they have to get up and provide for the home. Hopefully they're getting up. Some girls, some women are mama and providing for the home, hopefully they're getting up. Some girls, some women are mama and providing for the home as well. Like you probably feel as lost as last year's Easter egg, trying to run all and do all things to all people. Listen, it's not, it's a wonderful, rich time in life

to have small children. And it lasts for such a short period of time. You had twins. If anybody, dear Lords. I know. Yeah, oh my gosh. It was wild. It was a wild time.

But it was the best. I loved being a mom. I loved it so much. And I just- You're still a mom. I know. I still, I love being a mom to young children. I know.

I feel like they're like my friends now. Some are adults, some are kids. But yeah, no, I loved it so much. And I would read the Bible with them I just find stuff that they could understand and even if they didn't get every single thing Like I found a way to do Bible study with them and then when they walked away Then I opened my Bible into my own thing Yeah, and I just and you just be in relationship with the Lord talk to them all the time

Yeah, all the time I'm about always have like worship music playing and they would dance to it. And we would, you know, make it a little thing. And it's just, it was just a lifestyle. It was everything we did. It flowed through our faith. And so important. Yeah. It really is.

Making first things first. Always. Always. And you'll listen in the end, when you do that, it will pay off in dividends. Yes. I can promise you that. And you're gonna blink,

and your kids are gonna be teenagers. It happens so fast. And people say that all the time. I used to remember saying that. People say that to me all the time, and I'd be thinking, yeah, right, but I can promise you. Yeah, it's so weird. Time is weird.

They hit double digits, you blink, and they're graduates. I feel like once they hit elementary school, it just flies. It really does. It really does. It's so sad in so many ways, but it's also so rich. I know, I know. I have absolutely loved every season of my kid's life.

I have teenagers now and people are like, oh, teenagers puberty and like, yeah, maybe that was your experience, but like, I love it. I love my kids. I love being around them. I love having conversations with them. Yeah. Especially now because they're like mini adults.

Right. So we, oh my gosh. We laugh at the same things, you know, we find the same things funny. Yeah, yeah. They are, they do become, listen, they do become your friends, your style parent though. So be more of a parent than a friend,

but they do become your friends. And that is super special. It is, totally. Super special. So I'm gonna sneeze, so we're gonna go so you don't have to hear that. But happy Wednesday, see you on Friday. Bye.

["Real Talk"] Real talk. Real talk. Real talk.