The Hope Hotline - I'm Having An Affair! Help!

Episode Date: March 12, 2025

The Hope Hotline | S03-E18 | 03-12-2025

Hello and welcome to the Hope Hotline. I think we all ate our Wheaties this morning. We're a little crazy right now. Eat our wings? Wheaties. Wheaties. Oh, I can't hear. Not Weenies.

I don't have my earphones on. Oh my gosh. She sounds like she's saying Weenies, guys. Okay. I heard Wheaties. I heard wings. You guys are good. They're moving something in the hallway.

Heather, Trish, tell them they're all good. They don't need to worry about it. You need to know. Is that able? Okay, well, why I say that is because if Tom was doing his podcast right now, any movement in the hallway. Inappropriate.

Yes, would be. Straight to jail. Straight to jail. Go directly to jail. I don't, I would play that, but we get, we've already played that before and we got banned Try not to get banned anymore boy trying to stay on the good side. I got too many algorithms going against me too many strikes

We're not kidding. No, we're not we have been striked on Facebook and on YouTube, correct big time. Yep multiple times Which has hurt me yeah on Facebook and on YouTube. Correct. Big time. Yep. Multiple times. Which has hurt me. Yeah. In kind of a way, but in other ways, I'm like, I wear that badge of honor proudly. I know, cause it's all truth. So I'm sorry.

Sorry you don't like it. Sorry, I'm not sorry. I mean, I literally got banned. Should I say why, the most recent why I got in trouble? Yes. Well, I'll be discreet. When I called Michael. Oh yeah.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's true, they didn't like that. I got in big trouble for that. Yeah, when I called Michelle Michael, I got in big trouble. Whoopsies. That'll do it. That'll, I got big trouble. Whoopsies.

That'll do it. That'll do it. Big trouble. Where is Michael? I'm being shadow banned. Like there's no tomorrow because of that. You are. On many platforms.

Makes me so mad. It's so crazy. On many platforms. So you know, we're doing our thing. Yep. Whatever we gotta do, we're doing our thing. We'll figure it out. Yeah, we will figure it out, sister.

I'll die, like, I do not quit. So, like, even if I lose, I'll lose not quitting. Right. She's gonna die on this. I will, like, I am, Sarah's laughing. But you know what? I literally would rather go down with the ship losing than wave the white flag.

I'm not waving the white flag. No. I may never go anywhere, but I'm gonna die trying. Yes, you will. Yes, you will. That way you usually do go somewhere. Hey, usually that's what it is. Usually people quit too soon, right before a breakthrough.

And so that's just the way that it is. Oh my gosh, I love this. I'm going to look this up really quick. You know what? I just saw this thing. I'm not like, I'm ashamed to say this, but I'm a Michael Jordan fan. And the reason I'm ashamed to say this, but I'm a Michael Jordan fan.

And the reason I'm ashamed to say it is not because, I'm ashamed to say it because his wife, his first wife Juanita, I worked for a company that like, I believe it's Juanita. I'm just laughing because normal laugh. I'm sorry, the name really caught me off. Oh, I believe it's Juanita. I'm almost positive it was Juanita.'m sorry, the name really caught me off. Juanita? I'm almost positive it was Juanita.

His wife was really, really a sweet woman. I worked for a company that represented them back in the day. And he always was, every time he came in or every time he called, like he didn't assume people knew who he was. He was just, he was a class, he's a class act. He's a cheater. I have a problem with he was. He was just, he was a class, he's a class act. He's a cheater. I have a problem with, obviously. Classy.

He's a classy cheater. There she is. That's, yes. Okay, but- She and I ran into each other in the bathroom. She was just the sweetest thing on the face of the earth. Aw, she does look sweet. She looks sweet.

Now, if you knew her and the, I worked at this job in the nineties, early late eighties, early nineties. And she was huge. Yeah. Popular. Let me tell you better. Let me just tell you, like, we represented him. It was nuts. It was nuts. We represented some big athletes at that time, but that were just monsters. And for the most part, all of them, I mean, they are full of themselves to a certain degree, but all of them are for the, there are a lot of them are cheaters and a lot of them are very nice people. But some of them are just turd suckers.

Um, but he was classy. He was just always so nice and his wife. But the one thing that I love about him is he would say that he failed more than he succeeded. And if he hadn't had those failures, then he wouldn't have had the success. Because those were the things that helped him learn. And that's what made him successful.

And anybody who does anything, like if you're starting a business out or anything new, there's trial and error in everything. And you can't despise that. That's how we learn. A lot of times people get so frustrated and so mad when they're doing something new and they fail at it. And I'm like, well, as long as you don't quit, who cares that you failed? Because now you'll never make that mistake again. And sometimes to make money, you have to lose money. Those are facts. You can't like people oftentimes if they lose money to make money, they are just like throw

up their hands and they're like, I'm not doing this anymore. Why would you do that? That's life. That's part of how things have been flowing and things like that. But you know, I just saw something, I have a point to this, believe me, I do. I have it. Is this one the one?

Oh, okay, that one too, yeah. Which one do you have? I have the one I sent you where Mr. Beast uploaded 450, 455 videos before going viral. I have all of them. No, can you do it? Can you, like, that's really a great point right there. I didn't even think about that, but I was gonna say something about,

I'll go back to Michael Jordan, post this, because this is like, this is reality people. And if you're not willing to do this, then just like plant your flag on being mediocre and living life and just like, laus-e-ville. That's not for me. I mean, that's just not for me. Obviously, because of the church,

we could have quit, Tom wanted to many times, I would not let him, but I'm like, you're not quitting, dude. He's like, you can't tell me what to do. Oh, but I can. I can sit God on you. I can't tell you what to do, but God will. But seriously, if you know that you're supposed to be doing what you're doing, never quit.

Point this out because this is so good. This is not part of the Hope Hotline, but this is a great thing for the Hope Hotline. So MrBeast uploaded 455 videos before going viral. Picasso created 20,000 artworks before the world recognized his genius. Walt Disney turned 300 rejections into the most magical brand on earth. Gary V posted a thousand wine videos before anyone even noticed him. Steven Spielberg was rejected from film school,

but three times before becoming a legendary director. That I've heard before, that is amazing. And he's, yes. People thought he stunk. Right. Go ahead. The Beatles played over 1,000 shows and were rejected by four labels before revolutionizing music.

And then this is the Michael Jordan one. Michael Jordan missed 9,000 shots on his way to becoming the greatest of all times. Winners don't succeed in spite of failure. They succeed because of failure. 100% correct. Which I, that's one of, is that his quote? Because that's very close to what he says.

I think that's just the facts is that it was, he missed 9,000 shots. But I think there's another one too. Well, because he is one of his is famous. I didn't finish reading all that. I just only read the first one that he sent me. Yeah, cause it popped up that first one. But if anybody has ever, actors rejected, rejected, rejected, rejected,

then all of a sudden they just get the right film. And boom. You can't like, life is full of rejection. Life is full of failure, but it's also full of great success stories. It really is. And let yourself be one of them. Like, my goodness.

If you quit constantly when the going gets tough, then you'll never get anywhere. And then you'll be always the wallflower. Don't be a wallflower. I, Sarah's the furthest thing from a wallflower that's just looking at me like right now, like, mm-hmm. Like I will never be a wallflower. I don't think I have it in me, let alone, nor do I have the desire.

Some people are happy like that. I will never be a wallflower. I don't think I have an enemy, let alone, nor do I have the desire. Some people are happy like that. I have family who literally like, I'm fine with just life being, hey, listen, somebody's gotta fill that role, I guess, but not gonna be me. So this is one of the things he says, switching your mentality from why is this happening to me to what is this trying to teach me is a game changer. Yeah, huge.

Huge. Huge, huge, huge. And you know what's crazy is, I just saw the story where Michael Jordan decided to go back to his old high school where he was he didn't make the varsity team. Oh wow. Yeah and the janitor there is still the one that was there when he was there. He's now 80 years old. He is the janitor that when he didn't make the varsity team, talked him through it and helped him along the way. Wow. That's awesome.

He saw him. That's so cool. He set that man up for his life. I love that. So what, you know, a chance encounter. Mm-hmm. Yep. Never now.

And if that man, if that janitor is a Christian, that was not a chance encounter. Right. That was a gospel And if that man, if that janitor is a Christian, that was not a chance encounter. That was a gospel moment for that man. That was a God ordained lineup, you know? But you just love those stories. So never quit, never give up. Even in the face of the biggest adversity, because a lot of times that's where

the greatest stories come from. 100%. A testimony is only given, a great testimony is only given through great testing. And so you gotta like, It's true. You gotta do it. There's a YouTube and it's a podcast too,

it's called School of Hard Knocks. And it's this young kid that goes around. Yeah. He goes around and asks people like, how do they make their money? And almost all of them are like a lot of failure. Really? Yeah, it's so cool.

And it's like, there's just always like this pattern of people that are very successful. And as an entrepreneur, it's really fun to watch because it's very encouraging to hear that like, okay. They just, and most of them just didn't give up and they're older. So like they just didn't give up. They just kept going.

And they said, I've been broke ten times in my life and just like hearing things like that. Donald Trump is a great example of that. Yep. Because the man in the face of the greatest adversity never quits. Yes. And he has had to face bankruptcy not corporate business bankruptcy not personal bankruptcy and a lot of businesses go through all of that and actually means absolutely nothing. Cause a lot of times if a two corporations are merged together and then one of them decides

to no longer be in the corporation that it forces the hand of the one corp to go bankrupt. Doesn't mean that that company is bad and they're doing ill things. It just means that that's the way it goes when you have a split. Yeah. And you have to buy the other side out.

I mean, it's a whole thing, but that's different than personal. So for Donald Trump, the ones that I've known about where he's filed bankruptcy, they were business ones. And a lot of people will, that's egg on your face. And it's embarrassing.

And it is, but that doesn't change him. I'm gonna look at him with everything that's gone on, including his life being, you know, almost taken. Even in that, he gets up off the ground and he tells people and encourages people to, let's take the fight to the people who are trying to take us out. Like you have to have that inner like will.

So I'm like, and you look at Alex Jones is another one. They have tried to destroy that man. You look at Arthur Pulaski, tried to destroy that man. And every single time they rise up, stronger, bigger and better. That's with God though. I think a lot of times God's behind all of it because they're doing what's right,

especially Arthur Pulaski. So, but very, very interesting, very, very cool. Girls, do you have anything you want to add to that? Because I got entrepreneurs over there. Sarah. I mean, we could do a whole segment show on just like adversity and overcoming adversity and what that means and the scriptures that go along with that. Like it's, that's the thing. People just give up before payday. They look and they say, oh, well, you know, maybe it was,

then they question like, is this really what I was meant to do? Is this really it? Is this not working? And it's like, or it's hard. Like even if it's hard, they're like, oh, this is so much harder. I just, and I'm like, yeah, so was like living a mundane life. It's hard. Yeah. Choose your hard. Right. Choose your hard 100%. Yeah. For me, it's like, do I want

to make the man money or do I want to make me money? Correct. Now I work for the church, so it's a little different story. But for me, it's all about how many people can I win to the Lord and how many souls can I possibly change and make stronger so that they're not snatched away and out. For me, that's a challenge. So you may not, like, it's not that I don't make a decent amount of money, but the fact of the matter is, is like I left a job where I made a whole lot more

than what I do now, a whole lot more. But the reward is way greater than finances. Yeah. So I, I'll, you know, you pick and you choose and definitely God is always going to win if it's if it's if it's a godly calling. So Vanessa, what do you what do you say? I mean, I echo everything. Seriously, like if you anything worth having is worth fighting for. So you can't lay down, you can't give up, you can't quit. Just get up, dust yourself off and move forward.

Let it be a challenge. Like for me, I love the challenge of trying to figure things out and find out what works, what doesn't work. And then once you find out what does, run with it. Yeah. But it's kind of fun trying to figure something out and challenge yourself in it. Like, I don't know, like I'm not a person, I'm not like, some people love book learning. That's a challenge for them.

Like book learning, I threw up in my mouth. But I don't want it, like going to school and being challenged to learn something new like that, yuck. But life skills and doing life, learning how to do, like operate a piece of equipment or things like that. I like those kind of challenges, figuring out how do you do this and the way you do it. And like literally when I was trying to do that garage, trying to find out how to do the pad for it, because I've never taken like tractor loads of dirt, dump them,

and then figured out how to make a pad that you can stick something, a stem wall on or anything like that. And Heather's my neighbor. Heather Brinley's, I guess, Brinley was out there watching, poor thing. She must have like her brain wanted to bleed, but she's watching me in the window, which I didn't know.

And I sit there and I'm like, that poor child, she saw me like, I would be like this, looking at the pad, going, okay, if I take that dirt, what's the fastest way to move the dirt, but to get the result that I'm needing? So you methodically, and you, I have no idea what I'm doing, but in my head, I'm trying to process all of this. And that's what life is really all about.

Like if you have a goal and you don't know how to do it. Chat GPT. Oh dear. Amen. Ain't that the truth. I learned that in Vegas. Ain't that the truth. She did.

Or YouTube, University of YouTube. I love that you try to figure it out on your own. Cause the second I'd be like, I don't know, I would literally look it up on YouTube and I'd watch somebody do it. Yeah. I never thought about doing that.'t know, I would literally look it up on YouTube and I'd watch somebody do it. Yeah. I never thought about doing that. That would have been way easier.

It saved me a lot of time. No, that's good for your brain. Like hours. That's good for your brain. I would be out there hours. It's good for your brain. Good for your brain. It activates pathways.

It has to. That's why you're so smart. I like this, I like this. Okay, that, oh, there like that. I'm like poor Brinley. I'm like, she must have thought, my Nina has lost her mind. Nina's on crack.

But yeah, Heather told me she was watching you for hours from the window. I'm like, I had no idea that poor child, she must think of nuts. Oh, that's sweet. And there's different stages, so you don't know what you're doing, but I should have done the deg.

I'm killing myself inside now. But could you show somebody now how to do it? In all fairness, no. And all honest and transparency. I have no idea what I did. Like, Bill was like, that was a great job. I'm like, I don't know if I could do that again. Wow.

I don't know exactly what I did. Interesting. I did it know exactly what I did. Interesting. I did it once. Holy spirit activate. I only did each thing once. So to have to like think it out through it again. But then when the rains came and it washed it all away. Oh my gosh.

I bet. Well, I think though that you're a very easy person to learn from like if I were to just sit there and watch you, cause you're very like strategic and slow. Very slow. I would say opposite. Yes, like you're very easy to learn from. I don't think so.

Like watching us for that kind of thing. I think you would be good. No, I still think so. Or not, whatever. Shut up. I was just saying that. I was just saying that. So differently.

But you also. You might be homeschooled by her. You think so. Well, that's different. Well, that's different. I mean, like watching her hands move and everything. No, Talia is right. If you can watch somebody,

cause I am slow. If you can watch somebody, cause that's what Bill did with me. You're right, Talia. Bill took me and put me on the tractor. I sat on the side of it while he's on the seat. And I watched him. And he did not go fast for me.

And he was very slow, very methodical, and he kind of said, this is what you wanna do when you do it. Well, it was like a week after. So I'm like, what the crap did he say? And how did he say to do that? I'm like, okay, well, let me process how to even drive this thing.

Was it worth it? Or would you have rather paid somebody in hindsight? Okay, it was $90 a load right and I had like 50 loads is very worth it Very worth it. What? Oh it rain and the rains came and it was terrible and blue that and blew that But you know what if I had never learned that Sarah When here hurricane

Helene came and took Bill's house out, and we had frigerators, people's, the neighbor's fridge in the backyard, their fences in his backyard, a dumpster, like a huge, like daddy dumpster up a tree. That was a storage unit. Oh, a storage unit, the pod. Yeah, That's right. If we hadn't had that, another pod I didn't touch

because I would have killed somebody. But there were so many big items in his backyard, trees, tree lamps, the whole thing. And he had to go find water because there was no water. So I got on the tractor and we started clearing out. But because, so Sarah, yeah, it did pay off because not only did it bless me because I saved so much money by going to the store So I got on the tractor and we started clearing out. But so Sarah, yeah, it did pay off

because not only did it bless me because I saved so much money by him allowing me to use his tractor and then teaching me how to do that, but also it blessed him because when he got back, everything was in his backyard was no longer there. Yeah, that's awesome. It was huge.

He had a, you know, so yeah, you're absolutely right. The gift that keeps on giving. That day was so fun. That day was huge. He had a, you know, so yeah, you're absolutely right. The gift that keeps on giving. That day was crazy. But it was, it was a great day and everybody, those are the days when you really see who care about you, you know, absolutely come together. Yep. So it's important. Um, Village. Oh my gosh. Yeah. That algorithm does not work here. No, no. You're blocked.

Okay, so you want to do the thing really fast? Yeah, yep. All right guys, so if you're on Facebook, say hello and then jump over to Rumble because that's where the party's going a little quiet over there. But we'll get the we'll get the ball rolling with this question. You guys kind of saw a little preview of it. I did an Instagram story with a link in it that says, help. I'm having an affair. And a link directly to it. So yeah, so jump over to Rumble because you know, I'm with this guy. I mean, Norma's here today too. So you just never know. You never know where the conversation's gonna go.

You're so welcome. She, listen, she ticks people off left and right on this podcast. You know, she's a special. I say what no one else will say. Do you know her, do you guys know who her father is? Nobody knows. Okay. If you did, you would understand her cousins in the room and her cousin is the same exact way.

Yeah. He raises his eyebrows. Oh, oh, oh, wow. Said it was more me than that might be true. Heather, actually. Wow. Heather just threw me under the bus and said it was more me than. That might be true Heather actually. Exactly. Mom, he said, I don't know because he did tell somebody to use a pole. Oh yeah, let's not even go backwards to Sunday, please God.

I'm just saying, I'm, the whole family kinda is like this. I was gonna say. Don't blame me. I like you. Yeah, so yeah, Norma's here today. Um. So the conversation will be fun. So make sure that you're commenting, make sure you're liking and sharing.

And get this out, because you know what, we're going to answer a hard question today. And it's going to be very interesting. If you're on Rumble, let us know who's watching. I see a bunch of you guys watching, so let us know who's there. We got Talia's on, of course, and Linda, hey, mom's on. Hi mom and Sharon and Anne-Rie has said hello. Oh, hey. Yeah, hi. So weird that you cut that off.

I know, I know. Well, I thought Hope was gonna say something. I was gonna say hey to you mama and is this question from her? Mom, did you send this question in? And Sharon, Sharon is a very faithful watcher. Sharon, did you send this question in? Is is a very faithful watcher. Sharon, did you send this question in? Is that what you're asking, Sarah?

Do you know? I know. We don't. No. We're just joking. Because no, they said that they're not a Christian, right? So we know this is an outsider. This is an outsider just looking for some help.

And yeah, this will be a good one. So okay, keep moving right along. YouTube, you can subscribe, make sure you're liking and you can comment before you pop over to Rumble. And of course, Black Robe's available. Just keeping that our own platform up and going, even though we're on the winning side right now, praise God for the next four years in Jesus name.

And then audio podcasts will be available right after this. And so we will be, it's literally worldwide. We have people watching all over the world or listening all over the world. So that's really cool. And I did figure out that on Spotify, you can do a video. So I just gotta figure out what that looks like. But the audio podcast is available.

So it's easy when you're driving or just doing a walk and you can't sit there and watch us. That's always a great place to go. Super easy, you can download it, have and watch us. That's always a great place to go, super easy. You can download it, have it offline if you're flying or whatever. Those are your options there. And then send in your questions, any question at all.

You can do it anonymously if you like, cause I'll see it, but if you don't wanna, like you don't want me to know it's you, I honestly don't care. I love questions. We've all, we all have stories, we all have paths, we all have things we're dealing with even now. So don't worry about that. Just send it in. Just say, Please keep this anonymous. And we absolutely will. I'll even like not send Hope your email, like all this stuff, because we just want your questions in. If it's going to bring

you total freedom, please send the question in. And then we are on Instagram. You guys know that obviously on Facebook, because some of you are watching there. And also TikTok. So we have the Hope hotline on TikTok. And we're sending or we have some really like crazy fun stuff that we do over there. But not only is the whole pot line on there, hey, it's hope 01 is also on. So hope has her own personal TikTok. If you missed it, this is a little bit of an older screenshot. But if you missed it, go check out some of these really cute videos that she's doing.

And you get to see Addie and all this stuff, just random stuff that she's doing. And it's fun to kind of tag along, see some behind the scenes stuff, what her day looks like. It's always fun. I love that kind of stuff. And then if you want our merch, Foundation Church, FL.com, click shop and then or you can come in and if your cat happens to pee on your sweater and you're at church and you realize that your cat peed on your sweater, you can buy a UBU t-shirt like I did on Sunday. So that's always fun.

But yeah, everything's available in our shop and then obviously online as well. And yes, Sharon, we are working on the zip up sweater. So stay tuned. and we're done. Yeah, that's it. OK, we're going to go straight to the question. It says, this is a tough question to ask, but currently I'm having an affair and I am married. I used to be a Christian, but I've walked away. No, duh. I mean.

What are you guys doing over there? Okay. We're getting ready for this. I didn't know if you were saying no duh because I said, okay, you can't be a Christian having an affair. That's just the facts. Okay. I mean she clarified that. Me too. Yeah, yeah. Yes, very. I mean, let me say this. If, well, in order to have a one night stand, even that is questionable. If you can like, people slip up and flub up, but you've had to been doing something in your mind. No. 100%.

Because that doesn't just start from nowhere. Or you're drinking. Like drunk. When you get drunk. Yeah, exactly. Can it happen that it's like a one-off situation? Highly unlikely. 99.9%, no.

Highly unlikely. No way. So. No way. The odds are. Yeah. I mean, some people would be like, but I was, only question your fruit. Send it to me, I wanna know. Your fruit was spoiling on the vine.

Had to be, there's no way, I don't believe it. Cause like in order for you to have an affair, pornography has had to been probably in your life. Or if it's not pornography, there were thoughts that you were thinking about which were enticing you which leads to, because it's like that fruit doesn't just manifest like that. Something's been going on in your mind, which eventually penetrates the heart, let alone if, if maybe you didn't even have something in your mind, which I find very hard to believe, but you were flirting.

It just doesn't happen. Like, and if you were flirting, that's wrong. Like Christians don't flirt with the opposite sex with like innuendos and it just doesn't happen. Girls, do you disagree? Totally agree. Or yeah, there's something, like I would say perverted.

I know that's like a heavy word, but something is off. You're not purely thinking about a person. Something about it is intriguing to you, something about it's wrong. And, and you're... I would say, okay, there's four of us that have been married, right? And two, the two girls have been in relationships or are in relationships. Okay. So, like, I know what it's like to me not be a Christian and the thought process is behind all of those things and living a lifestyle

that's not appropriate. Okay, it's night and day from somebody who claims to be a Christian and how you behave and even how you conversate. 100%. I mean, there's a drastic difference. Like somebody that's walking out their faith on a day-to-day basis,

not like somebody that says they believe in God, but like an actual Christian that you believe in God, you serve him and you honor him. It's very different than somebody that just like, yeah, I go to church. Yeah, I mean, I believe in God. I think he's, yeah, I think he's real. Like go to Satan.

I mean, I'll flat out tell you, like as a non-Christian, anything was possible for me. Yep, for sure. Anything was possible for me. Not that for sure. Anything was possible for me. Not that it happened, but I'm just saying, there by the grace of God go I. I mean, pretty much you guys say the same thing. Like, I mean, when you're, when we're not saved,

like you, there's anything, like, especially if you're a drinker. Right, right, yeah. As soon as you're not sober minded and like, like who controls that? All inhibitions go right up and down. Exactly. Then you're around the people that are like, oh, it's fine. You know, you're hanging around different people.

You're not hanging around people of value and morals. And everybody justifies that you're an adult. Do whatever you want. Like, live your best life. Oh, if we all agree on it. Right. If everybody's doing it. Yeah. And it all makes you feel good about it because everybody else is doing it. So I find it really hard to believe. Me too.

And you may be fighting the point that if you're a Christian and you've done this and it was like a one-nighter or whatever because I know you can't claim Christianity if you're having a constant, like a, a constant affair, not meaning constant. When I say constant, it doesn't mean like it's every day or every other day. It's, it could be once a week, it could be once a month, it could be once a year. But if you know that once a year that's gonna happen,

you're in a fair, you're having an affair, you've made a decision. And 364 other days out of the year when you live a pure lifestyle, but you know on that 65th, it's still sin and it's still, you're not a Christian. So lifestyle is sin. Premeditated.

Premeditated, exactly. Yep. So, so it says, this person knows though, thank God. I used to be a Christian, but have walked away. I love my spouse, but I am, which I find like, you love them. Like how can you love somebody and cheat on them and betray them?

Oh, I love it. Right. What level of love. Yeah. Yeah. But I digress. I'm like all over this one. I love myself, but I'm also very interested

in the person I'm having the affair with. Right now I live with inner turmoil and fear of being found out. I wanna be honest with my spouse, but if I do, they will leave me. And although I really like the person I'm having the affair with, I'm not sure this would be a forever thing.

What should I do? Hey, do you have that video? I do. Let me play you this video. Okay, here it comes. She sent this to me last night and didn't know the question. No, I didn't. I was like, what do you think about this?

85% of affairs started work. Workplace, baby. What's going on there? We've asked our spouses to be everything. They have to be co-earners, co-parents, co-house runners. That's what you have is two people who are good at co-managing the house, and you have absolutely no shared purpose or building anything together. And then I go to work, and me and you and two amazing women

are working together on a project that's going to help 10 million people. Now we have shared purpose. We're talking about how we feel about things. We have a goal. We have metrics. I'm spending more time with her or him than I am with my spouse. That's right. And the time we're spending together is rich. We're laughing, telling jokes. Oh my gosh. Of course it happens at work.

I think everybody has to check themselves wherever they happen to be. Is that not good? But listen, I know this is true, because in my past work environments, lots of affairs. Mm-hmm. Lots of affairs. Yep.

And the more worldly the work environment, like when I say worldly, I mean exposure to, like, the world, the worse there is of the cheating. That sounds crazy, but I'm just saying like, what I mean by that is law enforcement, horrible, but they're exposed to the worst of the worst. And then they have a commonality together of trying to defeat the worst of the worst. And then they have a commonality together

of trying to defeat the worst of the worst as far as helping and overcoming. 100%. Then I work, then that's bad because Tom worked for law enforcement and then that was terrible. Like how many spouses were having affairs on other, it's just terrible.

But then I work for a company that worked with a lot with law enforcement, federal government, a lot of exposure to very much like what law enforcement or federal agencies like FBI, CIA, ICE and things like that. I worked with that company, so many affairs within that company. With either people we were working with from other agencies or internally. It starts with like the work wife, right? Yeah. And the work husband, there was

there was this viral post that I think it was like Target or Walmart and there were Valentine's Day cards titled to the work wife. What? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yep. Ew.

People used to say that like, oh yeah, like that's my work husband. Well, that was a funny, supposedly a funny thing on like King of Queens. Okay. That episode. Excuse me, I burped. What did that come from? Like, did they just pull that from something else? Cause I don't know anything. I'd never heard of it until then.

Oh yeah. People used to say it like, Oh yeah, that's my work husband. Oh yeah. I weren't we worked together. It's like my work work. Like everybody jokes about it. That like, that's my work wife. Cause she tells me what to do and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, that's weird. That's weird. But they thought it was like super cute. Right. Well, if you're calling somebody like your husband or something like that, or your wife, that means that there's some very, there's a very,

there's more than just a normal friendship that you share with other people. Right. And that's dangerous. Not to say that lines have been crossed, but that's like crossing over a line that should never be. It does. Like you said, it doesn't just happen one day.

It starts with that. It's like the gateway. It's like the marijuana of drugs. Ooh, another good hot topic. What are you talking about? The gateway. Everybody, yeah. Some people.

You start with the work wife, and then all of a sudden you're in a marital affair. So you start with marijuana, and all of a sudden you're a meth addict. Oh my god. You're a snorting poke. You're a black car heroin. Off hookers. Off hookers?

Wow. I mean. Wow. That's a quick transition. Holy moly. I got dark real quick. I did. I wasn't even normal this time.

Yeah, it was me. It was me. It was me. It was me. It was me. It was transit. Holy moly. Dark roadway. I'm dead. Wasn't even Norma this time. Yeah, it wasn't me. It was fully Vanessa this time.

You're welcome. Not surprised. Well, I don't know. For me, I'm stuck on the heroin and whatever Vanessa said about going from like, I don't know, crack and weed. Yeah. Holy crap.

It's a metaphor. But it's true though, to a certain extent. You start with a little leaven. I mean, I've had work wives though, not in a gay way. Well, okay, I would be way more comfortable, Sarah, with you having a work wife than you having a work husband. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying?

You have children, you're obviously- But I'm just saying- Well, that's a yeah. Well. I'm just saying the odds are that if somebody has a work wife, like Norm was saying, the odds are somebody calls somebody has a work wife, like Norm was saying, the odds are somebody calls somebody their work wife, it's pretty much for fun and platonic.

I mean, I tell Jare all the time, something happens to him, which I might do. She's mine, and if Tom is gone, she's mine. Like, with Tracy, like, okay, that's a funny, and who knows, it might happen. But I'm just saying, like on the odds, but to have a work wife versus if you're a female with another male.

I agree. I think it's different. Actually big difference. I do. I think it is different. You telling me you have a work wife don't really bother me too much, Sarah. I know, but I feel like it wouldn't be the gate.

Cause if you were having an affair at work, it wouldn't be with the person that like everybody thought. No, it is. That's exactly what happened with me. My ex literally. That's not what happened with me. That's exactly what happened. My ex was a field training officer with the other woman

and people started to say like what's going on and she would say things like he's my best friend he's a hole but he's my best friend and I was like she said it to me literally was saying to me and everybody acted like they were and I was like that's exactly what happened and it was like that it was like super cute like they're just like they work together like they're in it like they're in a special division they do special things and it and it's special and they were doing special things so yeah it was it was definitely yeah and they yeah that's exactly what happened. I mean I know the place that I worked for where we

represented a lot of professional athletes, they were all cheating with people in the office and outside of the office that we were working with. But that video that we played totally made sense to me that when you are doing the nitty-gritty every day and that's all you do is nitty-gritty and you're raising babies and you're one's going out one's staying in and you're just like you're literally co doing Versus like me and Jare like we are literally building a company together and doing ministry together and those two things like all the time

We're constantly problem-solving together. And if you're tight-knit unit, it is it's so common goal So different than my previous marriage where I took care of the house and he went out and worked. And then he'd come in and we tried to have a conversation and we really didn't have anything, like I didn't know what he was doing as a police officer. Like, what kind of questions can I ask? Would you arrest today? Like what, you know what I mean? No, but seriously, like we, and he's like, it was fine.

Like it started to break down because there really wasn't any common ground. We weren't building anything together. We weren't like, we weren't in ministry. Even if you had hobbies that you did, like you think I'm being funny, but like, I'm not kidding about this. Like I said this as a joke for dare to be,

but even like if you came home, took care of the kids and at night, you had a common thing that you did together. As simple as, I know this is, I'm being funny, but I'm not being funny. As simple as putting a puzzle together. Yeah simple as, I know this is, I'm being funny, but I'm not being funny, as simple as putting a puzzle together. Yeah, yes, I know. I agree. Because when you're doing that,

you may have the TV on, but you're communicating and you're trying to do something together. And that's, instead of he's reading his book, she's reading her book. Or, I mean, you have to have your, spend your time in the Word. And it's like, I, Tom came in last night from the podcast and I was telling him something that I like,

like totally out of the Word, like just blew my mind. And I'm like, and I literally said to him, I was like, yeah, but you know that scripture as it is. Like, he's like, actually, I don't know that one. So like, actually, I don't know that one. So like, you... I think it's important to... Everybody says like, we need to spend, do Bible study together, and I think that that's okay and everything, but a lot of times husbands and wives are doing separate Bible study. Even that's not coming, unless you're sharing what you're learning, it's not bringing a common thing together. You've got to have something if you don't do like what you do. And even Sarah does stuff with Derek,

her husband, they have a business together, so it's kind of the same for them. And Vanessa is like, just right hand man, admit much of his business, even though she doesn't go into the office, still a very integral part of what goes on. It's not like that for everybody. Like we're weird, we're freaks over here because most everybody doesn't work with their husband. Yeah, true.

Like even Heather works with her husband. But then you have other people whose husbands go to a job and they either stay home like what Tracy's saying or they have a different job they go to. You've got to have something that you do together. I agree. A hobby, a sport. Or cook together.

Jeff and I love to cook together. There you go, something. Put on some Frank Sinatra in the background. Do something that you both enjoy. A commonality. Yes. Even if it's like a pool table. And you hate to play pool, but he loves to play pool.

That's something you can do in the house. You don't have to hire a babysitter because when the kids go to bed, I'm just saying you got to find that thing because it's really easy. It's really easy to lose touch to what made you fall in love to get in love with each other.

Especially when there's day to day grind and you're just like, it's just like life's stressful. There's things going on. Like it is, it's easy to like start being like not feeling like worthy enough. Like you're doing so much. And yeah, I know he's doing a lot too, but I'm doing so much and you wanna go on dates

and you wanna do the things and there's just no time. Like if you have something. When you have small kids too, like hiring a babysitter once a week and somebody you trust. And it's just not that easy because a lot of times, especially in the state we live in, a lot of people move here and their family does not move with them.

So they don't know anybody and they're cultivating relationships, but sometimes while you're cultivating relationship, you're not really trusting of anybody. Not like you would your family. So if you could just find something common ground that you both like, then I think that that's super, super important.

Thanks, Attal. Like with Tom, and he didn't do it all the time, but one of the things, I mean, we would take the kids down to the Sharky's Pier, we would go down to the jetties, we'd take them fishing or whatever. We have a pond in our backyard, so take them in the backyard to do,

find something that's in and around. Like we would sometimes go down to the beach, and this wasn't very often, but it would go to the beach, we get ice cream as a family and we'd still like hold hands while we're walking down the road or whatever just so you're like you're still with your family but you're still together right and you have to have some kind of romance even if you're like I'm not a big PDA I thought like a couple weeks ago me and Tom were holding hands through the sanctuary

and I literally thought people were going to fall out. They're like, because they never, I'm like, we're just holding hands. Like, you know, we do that. Right. They like each other. Yeah, but it's like, I mean, you may not like we're not big PDA people. We're not. So, but you got to have that romance. You may not, like we're not big PDA people, we're not.

So, but you gotta have that romance, you have to have that affection. And if you lose that, then that's how that happens as well. It's gotta be, but my biggest thing is, and then we can, so I think everything that we've said is super important to reconfigure or reconstruct that relationship that it's better. But first and foremost, if you don't get saved and you don't have God, it's going to happen again.

And the only thing that potentially will save your marriage is when you do have to tell them that you had an affair, because you're going to have to do that. I mean, it's going to, because it's probably going to get found out at some point, especially when you do the breaking up. If you're trying to get your life right with God, at least that's the right move to the individual that you're telling that you cheated on them and you betrayed them. At least that'll give them a glimmer of hope that you're trying to fix things and you're trying to move in the right direction. And then you have to stick with it

because trust has been destroyed. Yep. Oh that's... Or he or she, yeah, whoever it is, first you gotta decide if you're over the person. Most of the time though, truth is, is most of the time people don't stay with the person that they cheated on. And if they do, because it started out insane or it started out from the poisonous tree is what me and Tom like to call it. It does not have good fruit either. So you may get married and you may stay married,

but you're gonna be miserable because it all started from something bad and nothing usually ever, unless you and that person get saved and you genuinely get saved, then maybe it'll change. But nine times out of 10, even that won't last. Correct.

But you can't love your spouse and be cheating on them. You're committing the ultimate betrayal. So your idea of love is quite twisted. You need to get saved so you can learn what God's love looks like. So you can give that to your spouse if you decide to stay with them. What do you guys think? I got to tell you this one thing after this. Yeah, I think actually Galena gave, yeah, Galena gave good advice.

She said losing your soul over an affair that might not, might anyway, it's not, might anyway not be worth it, your eternity in a place you don't want to be anyways. And so, and then she said there are women who have been in your place, maybe even worse. Once you find God truly repent, God will have your back, he will soften your husband's heart to forgive you and then you can spend time rebuilding. So your marriage in it will be beautiful once God puts a husband and wife together. So I agree, I think that if you are like

going to work this out with your husband, you need to immediately, like you, to carry that burden of like liking two people, supposedly. I think you're in lust with one. Right. And then you probably care. And what you think love is with the other. You care about your husband because you don't want to hurt him and stuff like that.

The thing is, is, is yeah, maybe this spouse or this, the person you have an affair with has something different than your spouse, but eventually you'll find something you don't like about that person. There's, oh, you're always just trading things. And so. Right. Rainier-Paster syndrome. Exactly.

And so then all of a sudden you're in a relationship with this guy and you're going to look back and be like, oh, my ex-husband did this. And you're going to start thinking about things. It's just best. You already made a commitment to your husband. Stop this relationship. Go find Jesus. Tell your husband.

And then if you lose both people too bad, that's the consequence of what happened. Everything has a consequence. Exactly. But there's a scripture that's redeemable. Before I get to that, listen. Okay. Now, you can tell me whether or not you think this is wrong or right.

It will not hurt or offend me because I question it myself now. Okay, Norma. Okay. I was very young. I didn't have an affair. Now, what I was going to say is when I was young before we ever had a church,

I had a friend or I knew somebody, I should say, that had had an affair. And it was like a really, like, it was a very short, like, I think both parties were married. Okay? And it was like a really like, it was a very short, like, I think both parties were married. Okay. And it was very brief. I don't think it was a one-timer, but it was very brief.

And I don't think this person would tell you that they were saved during this time, because I think that they were in a very, they were just trying to figure things out. They were in a little rough spot in life. So they called me up and they were like, okay, this happened, what should I do? And I literally said to them, because this person, they had kids. Yeah, and I said to them, because this person, they had kids. Yeah, and I said to them, I said,

is there any way, any possible chance or any way that your spouse is ever going to find out? And I've given this advice more than once, male and female. Is there any possible way that your spouse is gonna find out about this? They're like, no, probably not. I said, don't say anything, say nothing.

Repent, get your life right with God. Repent, get your life right with God. I just get... Repent, get your life right with God. And if they ever ask, then you're honest. Other than that, keep your mouth shut and never be seen or go or do or anything. Conversate with this person ever again. Because the odds are that their family would have been destroyed. or anything, conversate with this person ever again. Because the odds are that their family would have been destroyed.

Both times I've given this advice, the families would have been completely destroyed and completely Satan would have won. So I was like, I don't know if that's the best answer. Norma. But, but in truthfulness, like if, I mean, Tom can't handle me. So the odds are slim that he'd ever have an affair

because I'm just a little too much for him anyway. Too lazy. Yeah, he is too lazy to have an affair. But, but like if he did like a one night stand or something like that, I wouldn't wanna know about it. That's God's honest truth. I wouldn't wanna know about it. That's God's honest truth. I would not wanna know about it. Don't tell me if I find out about it, we're done.

We're done. I'm out. I wanna know. I would wanna know. Cause I know, I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I find out about it, our marriage is over. I'd rather not know. Okay, you can't hear Heather.

So Heather, come over here. I already know what Heather's doing. No, okay, don't say it. Because I don't want to repeat it. I know the end of it. Get over here or come here. Come here and say it. Just say it.

Come here. No, you're not, you look great. No, if you come over here. Heather, if you come over here. Yeah, nobody will see. She can extend the microphone. Yeah. Move your butt over here.

Yeah, go over there. Or that one, steal that one. Yeah, go over, go over. Yeah, nobody will see. Yeah, go over there. Steal that one. Yeah, go over, go over. Yeah, steal theirs. Cause this won't reach. I think that if you are able to keep that secret from your spouse, that you're not being honest with them and that that could open the door for more secrets to be acceptable moving forward.

That is a risk. Thank you forward. That is a risk. Thank you, Heather. That's a risk. You're absolutely right about that. That's why I'm not sure that that was the best advice. That's not, that was advice. I gave it like 15 years ago. Oh, okay.

You made it sound like this was- No, I mean, I was very young. I've said it twice. I've given advice twice to people. But at the same time, I sit there and go, but if they get their lives right with God and they are sold out, which actually, one of them, I definitely-

I'd rather them tell me that. I'd rather them tell me that. She and I based it on, I'd rather not know. And the odds are, if they do get their life right with the Lord, the Holy Spirit will convict them and the Holy Spirit would lead them. I'll have to take care of that. We need to call them right now. I won't be the Holy Spirit for them. Too late guys. I mean, it's been

so many years. Do you know like what their situation is now? Oh, very happily married. 100%. Oh my Lord. Listen, all couples are still together. Wow. So I used to think that if I found out my spouse cheated on me, I would just rather not know either. And then when it happened, I was like, man, I wish somebody told me earlier. Like I wish I didn't go through- Yeah, but yours was like, for how long did you go on for?

It was only three weeks. And like physical, like prior to that, they were like emotionally involved, but it was only three weeks. And I wish that somebody would have told me the second they started thinking, like I saw them like sneaking off. I wish I would have been prepared,

but God was preparing my heart. He, I like, I was seeing things and I was like, why am I interested in like how co-parents like meet up on the weekends? Like, why, why is this like sparking something inside of me? I didn't know you could get divorced as a Christian. I thought it was immediately a sin. Even if you were served a divorce,

like I started learning the summer before that that's not the case. So God already took care of me and prepared, but I always thought like, I'd just rather not know. Like that, like you're saying, like I'd rather just be like, just don't tell me. But now, I'm like, yeah, now I'm like, oh, 100% be honest.

Even if I found out, it's gonna get ugly. And so, and I did, and I did. I was ready to fix the marriage. Like I was like, whatever we have to do, let's fix it. And I would not. I know. I would not fix the marriage. But I didn't think I would.

It should be the other person's right to choose. You chose what you wanted to do. Now it's my right to choose. I agree with you. That's why I'm saying to you. I'm not saying that necessarily my advice was, it worked out, but I'm just saying, maybe not for the person that doesn't know.

I shouldn't laugh, but maybe they do know now, for all I know. Maybe they do know now. I don't know. Because I tend to agree, like with, because I, listen, I didn't let them off the hook. I did not say lie about it if you're ever asked. I said, if you're asked, you must tell.

Because you cannot lie. But I mean, I don't know how somebody could do that. It seems slimy though. I don't know how somebody, yeah. I feel like I'm living a lie then. Like I, Heather said, I'm living a lie. Well, the thing is, is I get what you're saying. Like, I get what you're saying, Norma.

I like you would feel it. But some people are so afraid of the other alternative. That you're losing your whole entire family. You weren't that afraid of it if you were sleeping around. So I actually have a Bible verse for that guys. Okay, let's hear it. Let's hear it. It's Matthew 10 28.

Do not fear those who can only kill the body, but rather fear him who can destroy both body and soul in hell. Yeah, but if you repented of it, if you repented of it. I think he would tell you, go talk to your spouse. Well, I agree with you. And the only reason I do is because the scripture

clearly says what is done in the dark will be revealed in the light. Always. Always. You're eventually gonna get found out. Okay, so my question is, what if somebody's like looking at pornography in private and they didn't get caught should they go tell their spouse?

A lot of people, this happens all the time. They know their spouse does not know. Right. I think they should. And what if they turn from their ways and they're not looking at it anymore, should they still tell their spouse? Cause I feel like that's the same thing.

I still feel, you know what I mean? Oh, it is very much the same thing. So would we, is that sin different? Like what if they're- No, it's not. Right. And listen, I have felt the same way. I'm like, I don't want to know if he's looking

at pornography, but if he is, God's going to make sure I find out about it. 100%. That's why I'm like, I don't want to know if he's looking at pornography, but if he is, God's going to make sure I find out about it. 100%. That's where I'm like, wouldn't you want to get in front of it before God reveals it? I'd be like, I'm going to let you know now. I don't want him to feel like he can tell me anything. Cause then you feel like you can't tell them anything.

Okay. That's sounds all good. Theoretically until it actually happens. Listen, when I cheat on my husband. And you have children. I'll be the first to let him know. Theoretically until it actually happens With your work wife It's what Vanessa said watch out that's that's work wives. It's a gateway. Gateway to smoking crack.

Straight downhill. I don't know. I know. Now, like as, I'm not gonna say that I wouldn't give that advice to an unsaved person. I probably would give that advice to an unsaved person. I probably would give that advice to an unsaved person. Cause what difference does it make?

Still telling them if they get asked, they need to tell the truth. But like, what do they care? I would never give that advice to a Christian now. But like, I don't know how. I don't know how. Like a work on your own salvation thing. With fear and trembling.

Yeah, fear and trembling. Figure that out yourself. Do you wanna tell your husband or wife that you got done? I know, it's a very tenuous thing, because especially when children are involved. I know, it is. It's not as, like unless you are married and have children, it is hard,

because like I was willing to fight for my marriage because of my children. It wasn't because like me and my husband had this amazing marriage and I couldn't imagine. I didn't want my girls to go live at somebody else's house for Christmas morning and I couldn't be with them because somebody else's decision. That's one of the things I thought about.

I'm like, so this person, he tells her and then she leaves him and a whole family is destroyed. Satan wins again when he already did win once. Like for me, I sit there and I go, I don't know. I'm not saying it was the right advice. Clearly, I don't know. Like I gave it twice, but I'm just saying. I don't even know if it was right.

I wouldn't do it today because I don't know that it's right. Do you know what I'm saying? And at the time I did think it was if it was right. I wouldn't do it today, because I don't know that it's right. Do you know what I'm saying? And at the time I did think it was better, but yes. Okay, but like, okay. If you got away with it, and I'm saying this with your own advice, if you got away with it and didn't have to tell the person,

wouldn't you think your brain would go back into the place of, well, I kind of got away with it again, and hope gave me the advice of, they don't find out. No, no, no, no, no, this isn't like a, this is- Even after they gave their life, you can still struggle with the thoughts of with it again and hope gave me the vice of they don't find out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Like what I'm saying is, you usually know the people that'll, the people that would tell, like when people come and tell me intimate things now, I usually don't know them that well.

So what I have to do is give them very strict, staunch, like very narrow advice because I don't know them and I don't know their hearts a lot of times. Whereas these people, I knew their hearts. I knew like, I knew who they were. And I knew that this was completely out of character for them. I also knew the situations they were in the moment

and where their head space was. So that's one of the reasons why. Normally I would never give that advice. And again, I don't even know if it was the right advice in that moment. You know, I'm willing to say that was completely wrong. Like, I don't know, but at the same time, like too late now, I was in my late 20s, I can't go back.

And I'm definitely not gonna go back and. You called them, hey. Remember what I said? Remember like X amount of years ago? Scratch it. If you're watching right now. Yeah, exactly. These people, no, they don't.

They would never watch. Yeah, they probably left the church. I didn't know you knew them well. No, they weren't even church people. Oh, okay, okay. It was like, it's like my previous life. It's like, it was kind of thing. It's not even like relative to the foundation church.

Yeah, yeah. Even though my whole family broke up and I had to go through a divorce and it was terrible. And I'm still so glad that I knew, cause I feel like he would have done it again. And so I'm glad that I got to like live the life I'm living now. And although it was really hard

and the girls suffered a lot, I don't maybe if we stayed together, it would have been better, but I highly, highly doubt it because that's why God didn't do that. Exactly. He didn't give you that chance. Exactly.

And so my life is like, at like miles ahead of what I ever thought it would look like. And so like, I don't know, it's just one of those things that it worked, it seemed like it worked out for them and it definitely worked out for me. And I say them, whoever you gave the advice to.

Yeah, so I found out and I'm so glad that I did. Yeah. Well, and that's the thing, you have to sit there and go with me, I sit there and go, would it been better? But in one case, it probably wouldn't have been, only because it was such a freakish thing that- Yeah, this wasn't a freakish thing.

Yeah, it was such a, but the other one, I don't know how freakish it was, to be honest with you. So it might've been wrong advice for the other, but I don't, one of them, I definitely am like, that's probably not the greatest advice for that person. But the other one, I'm like, that might've been the really the greatest advice for that person. But the other one I'm like, that might have been the really the best advice for that person. I don't know if it would have changed anything for either family either, but.

Right. I mean, she might never have told him that either way, whether you gave that advice or not. If she thinks she could got away with it, she might have just not told him anyways. I mean, you said that, but she might have already had that plan to do that, to never tell him and just stop. So. Yeah, I don't know. It's great for- I hate to live with them. I know, me too.

You know what I mean? Like I would hate to have to like carry that with me to the end. Yeah, but here's the thing, like that is true. But when you know other extenuating circumstances with other things, you sit there and you go, I mean, there's two sides to the relationship too. So you sit there and go, that's why it's not as always as easy as it should be black and white. It's not always as easy as black and white, but it still should have been probably black and white, but it's not always as easy as black and white, but it

still should have been probably black and white. I don't know for sure. But isn't that interesting? Like, yeah, that was a good one. That was some, that was some shocked faces. I'll throw you for a loop. That did. That did.

And again, people miss it sometimes. I'm not like when I was in my late twenties giving that advice, I'm like a brand new Christian coming, not brand new, because I had gotten my life right back when I was like in 24, beginning of 25, but I was only a few years in. Yeah, that's new. That's a new Christian. Yeah, don't ask a newbie like advice.

I mean, but at the end of the day, it's just because somebody gives you advice doesn't mean you take it. So yeah, you're gonna take that one. I'm wrong with it. I would have. I'm like, is that what you say to do? I don't know.

I don't know if I would have taken that advice. Like if it was me and that's, I don't think I could carry that. I don't think I could. I don't think I know I couldn't. I know. Like I know my face would look a certain way. Right.

Could you imagine you're at the grocery store and you bump into that person? Well here's what you guys are forgetting. You're looking at, you're looking at a, you're looking at like a healthy marriage and then this just happens. Like, like. I don't know.

Like if I, that's, it's not like, for me, like, I could never do it. I could never, like, I could never do it. I could never, like, I could never carry that load either. I mean, I would be eating alive every single day. But that's because I have a healthy marriage and the man that I'm married to, I absolutely adore. I mean, to the mere thought of even looking at another man makes me want to vomit, let alone thinking,

kissing another man. It wanna vomit, let alone, thinking, kissing another man. Grosses me out. Even being alone with another man in an intimate setting makes me disgusted. I've never looked at another guy and been like, ooh, now I've looked at other guys lovingly, but never like, I want to be with you, never, ever. It just disgusts me.

So for me, of course I'm going to, but when that's not your marriage in that moment, but you don't want to like, I think there's always extenuating, of course none of you could do it. Like you're all like truly saved. Oh, Norma didn't let us down. Cheating on the side.

You don't know if none of us could ever do what you could never have an affair and then not share it because of your because of where you're at with your walks with God. You would be eaten alive because of... Never have an affair. Right, but I'm just saying in general, it's easy to say that I could never do it. Yeah, because you guys are in a good relationship. But when you're not and you're sitting there going,

I don't want to lose this marriage, even though it's not the greatest, and I regret my decision. I'd rather not say anything, and then if he asks me, then I will, and I'll take the risk then, versus lose everything. For somebody who's not saved, or barely saved, they're probably going go that route only because they don't wanna lose what they have. Us, even though it's not the same as what we have, does that make sense? Yeah. We couldn't get away with it

because we're totally in different places with our walks with God. But to somebody else, they can get away with it because it doesn't bother them. We also have souls, most of us over here on the panel. So, even when we weren't Christians, I don't know. I think that would be really challenging for me. I don't know.

I'm just, I could do it. The person I am, I'm very like. I would just rather like break up. Just break up, yeah, that's me. Well, that's normal. I'm outta here. Once again, he would figure it out. I would blurt it out in like the most inappropriate.

You would, if you had dinner. I had a fair on you. I had a fair. I slept with another man. I had like Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, yeah, I'm proud of everybody, the whole family. Hey, listen, I've heard of that happening on Thanksgiving day.

No way. What? I just told my mama I was pregnant with twins when I was like 20 years old on Thanksgiving day. No way. I just told my mom I was pregnant with twins when I was like 20 years old on Thanksgiving. Why? Because I had to, I was home and I was pregnant. I think it was probably that, I mean, it wasn't at dinner, but it was, my mom's like, how did that happen?

I was like, uh. It actually is the best place, but it's actually a really good idea, because then she can't really freak out. Yeah, Ruby was there, right? If you pull her by, will you tell her? We need to give your mom a sex ed class. I know, me too.

I was like, uh, not how I answer that. I know she wasn't happy, but then I have cute little babies. They're grown now. Yeah, Thanksgiving, always a good time. Oh my God. I will tell you this. Listen, that would be very close to you.

I might kill you. Well, I know. Would not be pleasant. You are a good woman. What I will tell you is you definitely need to get saved. You need to get your life right with God. That's no ifs, ands, or buts about that. And I will say this,

know who is trying to do this to your family, and that would be Satan himself, John 10 10, he comes to steal, kill, and destroy. But it says after that that God, he wants to give you life and life more abundantly. So you need to grab a hold of that and run with it. And I'm telling you right now, if you don't have God, when you confess this to your spouse, the odds of you making it are pretty slim. You have a better chance of it staying together if you have the Lord. It's not gonna be easy, but it's possible. I'm gonna give you this scripture because God is great.

He is the, well, while Satan is the master at destroying things, God is the master at restoring things. And He makes all things new and it's and it's very clear that He can do this with your marriage. But know this. So a lot of times people people think, well, I've committed this sin, I've committed that sin, I've committed this sin, and there's no hope. But 1st Corinthians 6, 9 through 11 is very clear. There is absolute hope for you. And it says, Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, nor fornicators nor idolaters not I it's idolaters not

adulterers so it's an idol worshiper nor adulterers nor homosexual nor sodomites nor nor thieves nor covetous nor drunkards nor revilers nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God and it says and such or some of you but you are washed but you are washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of God. You get your life right with God and that is all in the rear view mirror for you. It is your past, it is not your future, and things will be brighter. Even your marriage will be better than it was before.

When you implement God and you put the center of it, and you're serious business about that, your marriage will flourish, your children will flourish, your family will be a cohesive flourishing unit. And that's really what it's all about, because that's what Satan wants to do. He wants to take the family family unit disintegrate it and make things splintered all over the world when you splinter a family it really complicates things for everyone moving forward correct ladies yeah it's not

good does anybody want to add anything to that? Since I like don't have an affair. Yeah, I'm just don't choose the opt out even though he's beautiful. Well, they are not saved though. Okay, we're not talking to save people. That's morals. I agree.

I agree. Loyal. Treat people how you want to be treated. Loyalty is great. You want to, you plant that out there, even if you're not a Christian, you, what you throw out there. Don't be a hoe. Oh my gosh.

Don't be a hoe. Let's pray for the hoes. Norma, what do you say about a hoe? Oh, you can't be always the sharpest tool in the shed, but you could always be a hoe. Yeah, there you go. There you go. On an end.

Don't let that be you. We should get that shirt for the whole pipeline. We should. Just like an us, like an actual ho. We're not going to have a whole pipeline. No. I'm going to farmer's. Let's not be hoes.

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Friday because our own Sarah is going to show us. If you're a woman, you're probably going to want to know this. She's going to show us a couple of things a woman, you're probably gonna want to know this, she's gonna show us a couple things, but the next thing is is we have some other very interesting questions to follow suit. Yeah. And hopefully I in the past have not given bad advice on those as well. This is for entertainment purposes only. It only goes up from here. It only goes up from here. So they say. I've lost respect in the room. Talia's down. Norma's no. It happens. I'm not going to her. I'm not asking you for advice at all. It happens. Don't ask the 29, or was it 29 year old me. True.

We don't have to. Anything goes. I had a pastor, my pastor in Brooklyn, he always told us, do not come to me with anything, advice, inspiration, nothing until you're 30, at least 30. Oh, good advice. Okay.

Oh, that's solid. Yeah. Okay. I don't want to hear it. He's like, I don't want to hear it. That's their first mistake. Wasn't your fault. I wasn't 30.

And I was solidifying my walk. I was pretty good with my walk by then, but. Listen. Your frontal lobe wasn't fully developed. It was. 25 is when it happens guys. I have to blame myself. It's just bad advice.

It's just bad advice. But hey, they're together. I mean, potentially they're still together. The marriages are still intact. Who knows? They could have listened to my other part of my advice, which said, be honest. I know, listen, the world will never know.

Sorry guys. Yep, that's right. Who knows? Who knows? But you know what? If it means that people come less to me and ask me for advice. Oh my God.

You just did yourself a service. I feel like that's a win. That was a, you did yourself a favor. You did yourself a favor. Except this is the whole pot line. And it is my job to give you advice. But it's for entertainment purposes only. So.

So question everything. Everything. Chat GPT, all of my advice. Always. I want to ask chat GPT. Oh yeah, do it. What should I do if I see it on my channel? Tune in on Friday.

We will be here at 3 p.m. Bye. Real talk. Real talk. Real talk.