The Hope Hotline - Is My Child Being Groomed??

Episode Date: March 14, 2025

The Hope Hotline | S03-E18 | 03-14-2025

Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. Hello and welcome everybody. I feel kind of weird right now. I'm sharing my, I'm sharing my space with Sarah. Okay, today we're going to start with a Hello and welcome everybody. I feel kind of weird right now. I'm sharing my space with Sarah. Okay, today we're going to start out with this.

So men that don't wear makeup, which is hopefully most of you, unless you identify as both men and women. Unless you're trans, this is gonna be really boring for you. Unless Mother's Day is coming up. Light bulb. Hello.

That looks like a hell. Great gift. This is a great gift. I don't know how to make a light bulb. Okay. I don't know. Yeah, that looks good. Christmas.

Mother's Day. Mother's Day. Easter. Easter. It is a great gift. Birthday. It is a great gift. Birthday. Birthday.

Birthday. Thank you. What's another holiday? I can't think of any holidays. Arbor Day is coming up. Okay, you don't buy gifts for Arbor Day. I'm trying to think of the ones. Oh, Valentine's Day.

St. Patrick's Day. You don't buy gifts, people. I do. I buy gifts on St. Patrick's Day. Okay, they're idiots. They're not listening to what I'm saying. It's gift giving holidays. If you like giving gifts though.

Get ding bats over there. St. Patrick's Day is perfect. And I got Tweedled Dumber over here in my ear going, Valentine's Day. Like hello, it's past. An anniversary? In general, no, we're not talking in general. We're talking about things that are coming up.

I can't hear anything. I know. Anniversary? Anniversary. Now we're thinking. If you're getting- Now we're thinking. Thinking caps. Like a wedding gift.

Like you're getting married. That's really good. Travis is like- My nephew's in here. You just got married. You're off the hook, dude. I know, he's like, I didn't get out of jail. Except for Easter or a different holiday.

And her birthday. But here's the thing. Lots of people don't know how to pick the right color. Right. Yeah. So she's gonna share her knowledge for us ladies so that next time when it's time, we pick the right color. Cause I can't tell you how many times I see people and they either have the mask

right here with a different color neck that's no no people yeah or they're like really darker than what their skin is. They just came out of a sandstorm. They've been windblown in the Sahara desert. Yes. So I'd like to give a disclaimer. First of all, I am not a cosmetologist. I am not a makeup artist. I am none of those things.

I am just a network marketing professional and I know how to share my products with people. And so, but you don't have to buy these. That's one of the things that you, yeah. Just you were saying, I don't wanna necessarily sell. If she does, that's great. But I'm just saying, but the thing is, is your thing is more to help people. Yeah, absolutely.

Because you go into the store and there's hundreds of shades and you go, and you can't try it in the store either, which is another thing that's not great. You just have to kind of like hold it up and cross your fingers and pray that it's gonna work. So I brought all of the samplers so that we could test what would look good on everybody's skin today.

Yay. So- I feel like we represent a lot of the shades too. Yes, we do. Look at us. Quite a rainbow of. I wish Laura was here though. My girl Laura. Oh, yeah.

Invite her. What are you doing Laura? You busy? We don't have any chocolate. We need some good chocolate. Vanessa may be down towards that end. I'm working on it. Me too.

Me too. We'll see. We'll use that one as one of your testing. Contour. I use it for contour. Ooh. Yes. Contour. I'm working on it. Me too. Me too. We'll see. We'll use that one as one of your testing.

And we'll see what. I use it for contour. Ooh. Contour. Yes. Ooh. Girl. And these all blend together really easy too.

And you could do that. You can mix together, but there's two things to look at. And I sent Tracy some graphics. So the first thing that you want to look at is the shade, like from light to dark. Yeah, let me know whatever. Which one do you want to start with? That one right there.

That's a good one. OK, perfect. OK, coming in. So this is the guide to understand your skin color and undertones. And you start with your skin tone, which is either light, light, neutral. Like you go from light to dark,

and you can see that on the graphic here. And then you gotta look at your undertone. So you're either warm, you're cool, or you're neutral. And the best way, can you make that any bigger? Like at the bottom there? Yeah. There's, you can- Where it says wash undertones or warm undertones.

Yeah, so warm undertones, it's when you have like a peach or a yellow undertone. Like not, you're not looking at your veins yet, but the undertone is either peach or yellow. Undertone of your arm. Of your arm. Oh yeah, of your wrist. So you look at your wrist, if it's peachy or yellow,

you're more likely gonna be warm. If it's pink or blue, then it's gonna be cool. And if it's a mixture of both, or you're like, I don't know, I don't see any of those colors, that's me, then you're probably neutral. So does it look better in gold or silver jewelry? That's another. Like do you always go towards one or the other? That will help you find your undertone. So if you're if you use silver you're probably cool. If you use gold more often

then you're probably warm. And if you're if you're like I wear both and I like both you're probably neutral. I wear both. Yeah, so then the colors that we picked earlier beforehand, those are all neutral ones that you picked out naturally. So we're gonna test a couple of these. Even though I don't know what I'm doing. So smart.

I really don't know what I'm doing. You do, maybe you don't. I even went to Ulta and they do let you try this stuff on, but they were of no help whatsoever. I don't go in there anymore. After the mask situation, I went in there one time and there was a lady following me around. It was like, you need to put a mask on,

you need to put a mask on. And I was like, hmm. I went in there after. I'm never shopping here again. I didn't have to experience the full mask. I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when I was like, you have no idea what you've just done. Because I was gonna spend a lot of money in here

and now I'm never coming back. So we're gonna start with, we have two different- That's Pretty Woman for all of you people who have no idea what she's talking about. Richard Gere, Julia Roberts. That's like an 80s, right? 80s, 90s movie. I think it's in the early 90s maybe.

I don't know. It's a good one. Anytime I leave a store and I didn't get what I need, I always walk out of there like I'm made of a million dollars. Like, do you work on commission? Too bad for you. That's right. So there's two different,

we've got two different things here. This is a skin tint, which is more like a tinted moisturizer or a BB cream. And this is only done by your light to dark. So there's no skin tones here. There's no warm or cool. It's just, and this, your own skin tone

is gonna show through this. So if you have dry skin, is that the one you want? If you have dry skin, all of these are great. Oh, really? For dry skin. In fact, when you put this, the makeup on, and again, we're not here to sell Arbonne, but I will tell you the benefits, is that you don't feel like you have it on,

and it's got skincare ingredients in it. So like- No animal byproducts, no animal testing, like it's a clean, clean makeup. Cause that's one of the reasons I use MAC. Mm-hmm. Yeah, cause it's good quality, clean makeup. Cause that's one of the reasons I use Mac. Mm-hmm. Yeah, cause it's good quality, high quality stuff. Yeah. And you don't want to put just anything.

I'm glad you brought that up. You don't want to just put anything on like Maybelline, L'Oreal, all of those. Cause everything that you put on your skin, including your makeup, goes into your bloodstream within 26 seconds. So if you've got toxic ingredients in your makeup, which many of them have,

that's going into your body and you don't want that. So you want something that's clean, uses organic ingredients, that's gonna be no animal byproducts and all of that because rendering plants, Google that and you'll, that's disgusting. Like, we'll all become vegan really quick. Well, just like, you looked at a poultry farm.

I'm still eating meat. I'm just saying. Lots of people go vegan after they see that stuff. I love meat. Yeah, me too. Okay, so. So this is the skin tint and it comes in a little dropper,

which is kind of cool. This is the first time I'm opening this one. And so we're just gonna put a little drop on your finger and then you're gonna swipe it. Yeah, that's, I don't know if I need. Right here. Do it on my side so I can see. Okay.

Do it over here. Oh my gosh, I think that's perfect. I like disappeared. We already found it. Yeah, we don't even need, this think that's perfect. I like disappeared. We already found it. Yeah, we don't even need, this is your skin tint. If somebody's taking notes, she's a light skin tint. Remember that second one from the end? I like that.

And it's- Oh my gosh, it's so soft and smooth. Yeah, and your skin tone goes, shows right through it. Now I have to wear, like I wear, tell me if you girls wear it, but I wear like the stuff that you put before you put your makeup on to like cover up the- Primer.

Primer. Primer. I was gonna say, do you have primer? Yeah, just feel this real quick. I'm gonna put it on. Cause I use- Just rub that in. I use a really nice primer.

Oh, that's nice. Is it as nice as that? It's the best. Because primers like, like Norma taught me, like you can get a cheap one or you can get a good one and you get what you pay for with a primer. Yeah, this is. Oh, that's nice. The best.

And it does. I want some of that too. It like closes your pores. It doesn't, so then your foundation doesn't look creasy. Yeah. Cause it's filling in all of those gaps. I use Mac. I use Mac primer too. Okay. Cause it's filling in all of those gaps. I use Mac. I use Mac primer too. Okay.

But it might not like, I have laugh lines. So sometimes it's, there's nothing you can do about that. But I'm happy. I'll listen. You don't have laugh lines unless you're happy. Right. For me, I'm like wherever I have lines, it's only because of usually I talk too much.

So I talk with my forehead and then my lifelines. I don't mind those things. To me, like I pray against aging, but I don't wanna have a face that doesn't look like it hasn't experienced good things. So for me, can you hear me really good, even though I don't have the mic on? Yeah, you're good.

Testing. Yeah, so for me, it's like important, but you're gonna still have creases. Most of us do. Yeah, if you use, well, this makeup has hyaluronic acid in it. Uh-huh. You break it, you buy it.

Oh my gosh. You don't want that color. And I'm gonna leave it out. Oh my gosh. Yeah, unless I use it for whatever. Contouring, which I never thought of before. You're welcome. Thank you Vanessa.

Now what's these? Oh, I just want if anybody was looking at what I have on, this is basically everything I wear. I'm wearing the foundation. I've got the lip gloss. That's the lip gloss? I like these two colors. Which one you got on?

I have both. So this is like, it goes on and it's like a matte and it stays on. And then this is the gloss, which you can like apply throughout the day. And I really like this color. What is that? Talia said her and her mother have these.

Oh, is that the same? Excuse me, is that the same colors? Now I live with this. I'm so happy you have these. Yeah. Like, I'm gonna be hooked up today. You are. Hooked up.

What is this? And that's the mascara. And I brought this because right now, when people get the skin tint and the foundation, they get a free mascara. Okay, I'm a thrive nut for my mascara. You're about to not be, because this is the best thing ever in my life, but.

Does it come off like thrive? I don't know how it comes off. Thrive, you just do this and it just comes off in your fingers. No. It does not come off like that, but when you have the cleansing balm, it comes off. Oh, okay. Really nice.

So your foundations. So I have to do this one, and then I would have to go to this one? Or do I do one or the other? You use this for like, if you're just going out, you know, to the store or whatever, and you don't wanna do a whole face of makeup, you would use this tinted moisturizer.

This is more of a full face. So this is light coverage. This is more of a medium to full coverage. But you can layer them. I think this is the one I'm gonna have, because look at those, those are two, those are the same colors, right, basically? I think we're, let's try this, and then that one,

and then I think we said, This one. That one. But I think that one's too dark. I think it's gonna be this one. Well, we're gonna find out. These these come in a pump which I really like so I'll give you don't rub this in now just swipe it like hey make a line on your on your can't I'll go over my uh how are you? I can't okay like yeah there you go well she brought she I didn't rub it in like there's

I guess I should have uh My assistant Talia is gonna come and she's gonna show how this is really done. What are you doing? Here I got some. Don't waste it. Okay. Yeah, you go down like this. I'm shaking. There you go. And you leave it just like don't rub it in. I'm getting rid of this. Okay. That is fair. That's a little, I don't know if that's. And then this, I'll just do it so we don't. Sounds good to me.

Ha ha ha. Yep. Oh yeah, that's me. And then this one you said was too dark, but I think it might be. The suspense is killing us. Shut up. I think it's the middle. Definitely the middle.

Light neutral. Girls. Yep. That's it. Middle. Now, you can rub that in. Because you have got makeup on, I would, let's just rub it in. When you do your whole face with this though.

I can't wait. You're gonna love it. Yeah, you can't even tell. Yeah, it blends right into your skin. Okay, so I need this one and I need. No, this one, light neutral and then light for the. Okay. Okay, who's next? All right, next warm body coming up.

Vanessa's coming. Vanessa's coming hot. Oh, and then talk about this. Oh, this is the bronzer This bronze right here, it's awesome because runs me up you can layer it. Oh I use this on my eye shot for my eyeshadow. This is what I use like that It gives more natural look. She said a lot of people do that with their bronzer. All right, hook me up. We get to go to the other end of the line here. Do you think you're more warm or cool?

I'm neutral. You're neutral? Not on the things that matter, though. Right, exactly. Not on the issues that matter. You're not neutral. Only on my makeup. Yeah.

Am I neutral? All right, so I did bring this little guy. Maybe we should try my tools that I actually brought with me. This is warm. I'm going to just see. Let's go for it. What this does oops I didn't mean to poke you in the eye. Once again I'm not a professional makeup artist. Let's just get that out there. That is so fun. The first strip. We could make fun of Sarah and Vanessa the whole time and they wouldn't even know. So this is kind of we'll do warm cool And then I can't hear anything like if you are true Oh this one. I haven't used yet come out slowly little guy

Spills makeup everywhere this is cool Okay, okay. We're gonna have to go to man, I don't know if we want to go this dark. I don't think I'm that dark. You're not. You're definitely not. Yeah. I want to do a neutral one because that one's warm and then that one's cool. But the next neutral one. This is a light medium neutral. Let's just see. Let's just try it out. We'll be able to go. Definitely not. Or, oh, and we'll all be. Definitely not. What are we thinking? The first one, which is the tech

talks. Well, I'll take it. Well, I will get warmer as the the summer goes on. True. And that's another thing people do is they'll get two different colors. This is she gets a little bit more chocolate. Wipe it off or you can just blend it all in and rub it together. And then skin tint, I'm thinking you're going to be a medium skin tint. Let's try that. What do you think? Use my other cheek.

Turn the other cheek they say. Yeah. Yeah. Turn the other cheek they say Yeah Rub that in and see because your your skin tone is gonna come through it and you've already got makeup on so Medium Okay, I hope you guys are remembering all oh we can just go back and watch the replay hashtag replay Coverage and then the skin tint is more of replay. So the foundation is more full coverage and then the skin tint is more of a lighter coverage. That's going to be like you're going to one

of my friends. You got to run to the store and you don't want to go with a naked face so you throw on some of the skin tint. This is like you don't want to church and you want to have a full coverage. Or you're on the whole pot line. And you still want to get the makeup. So what you're telling me is that I need both of them. Yes, because then you got a free mascara. And don't forget, oh, you didn't get to try the primer. I don't want to hear you. Around that and around there, sister. That goes on first before your foundation.

Silky. All right, up next. OK, Talia's turn. Talia is going to, Talia knows probably more than me, so. Oh, hey girl. Listen. Is that grooming? I just know how to line them up really pretty.

Oh my gosh. What are you, are you cool? I mean, we know you're cool. She's in the channel. Yeah, I don't know either. I can't even see your veins. I know, I know. Well, not really.

Well, let's go. Light, medium, neutral first. Whippin'. Here, I think this helps to get the line on there. Want me to do it? Yeah. And if you're listening and you can't watch. Oh yeah. We should be narrating this. Oh wait, which side do I look?

Because I can't tell on the screen. Am I doing it the right way? Oh yes, you're doing it the right way. The one that you put the makeup on is the one you turn towards the camera. This is cool. I don't know. Oh, great. Oh, he's blocking. This is cool. This one. Yeah. Oh, I thought you said blog. She knows what she's talking about. Never mind. Vlog. Carry on. I don't know.

I like that. I think that one's closer. And then what do we do? We should try on the live chat because you guys can't hear us. That's going to be too dark. Our live chat and I'm a light neutral. We were plotting against you guys actually. Oh, I mean, it wouldn't be the first time. Very soft, very hydrating. Not heavy, not heavy.

The piano gallery is like it's conversating. They should they could talk in the mic microphone while we're We are, we are, don't worry. Oh, I can't hear what they're saying. I know, sorry, we need to get some headphones for guests. I think the middle one. We talk about this every time. It's a little, it's cool though. When you blend it in. Most professional podcast

in all of America. We should, we should blend this with something that's on the road. We're so professional. We do blend this. This replay is gonna be fun. We're so professional. We do, we need a road podcast. Actually that one blended really nice. It's a new level. That first one we did.

Hi Natalie. Go back and watch the recording. If you'd like to remember which colors we used. Yeah, they do. They blend in really good. Do you think that first one? Sure. OK. Think this was it.

Go back and watch the recording. I'm not professional. I'm getting makeup on the table. It's OK. Oh, my goodness. Thank God we have a cleaner in the house. You should try that. Actually, I wonder if you did use the skin tint as a contour.

Oh, she dark. Oh, she dark. But you know, blendable it is. And obviously you would. I can't do this with my finger, but. A brush would probably be a lot better. Wow. That's the dark skin tint. And she just used it. Look at that contour.

It's snatched you. What? Guys, we just under level here. I'm telling you. It works. Tracy, are you ready? Yep. Oh, I put more on.

Girl, I'm leaving here snatched. To the heaven. For sure. That's hilarious. Aw, Courtney said, that's my beautiful daughter. Aw, hi Courtney. Thanks, I don't know about that. Thank you. If everyone loves her rumble name, I helped her with that.

Did you really? Yeah, I feel very proud. Well, you look tan. Hey, thanks. Oh my gosh, you're like a blonde bombshell. Look at her. Look at her. Don't do it.

If the feed goes down, nobody's gonna know. I don't even have my phone on me. So text, actually Travis Kona, if you have his information. Guys, Tracy's not usually allowed out of her little corner over there. I know, I don't know what to do. What do I do missing my hands. What do I do with my hands?

Do you think you're warm, cool or neutral? I have no idea. I think she's warm. I think she's warm too. Let's do a medium warm. Let's start with that. All the time. Do you wear gold all the time?

Almost all the time. No, is it your ring silver? My ring is silver. Yeah, my ring is silver too, but I'm gold. Is it silver or is it platinum? White gold, I wish it were gold. White gold, oh. Jare, platinum next.

testing one, two, three. We're gonna try this. Hey, we have, Sarah. Yeah. We have a question. Do they have under eye concealer? Yes, they do. Yes, they do, Dawn. they do. Dawn, they do.

Under eye concealer for the win. One of our friends, are you going to do it on me? Sure. One of our friends said that we should mute this mic, and then we should have made up our own conversations, because you guys can't hear us over there. Would that not have been the funniest thing ever? This would have been the funniest.

Oh, we're losing. There we go. Check in the mirror, ever? That would have been the funniest. Oh, we're losing. There we go. Check in the mirror, because it's kind of hard to tell. Aw. Bobbski said, that's my beautiful daughter. Aw. Bobbski. My mom's not watching.

My mom isn't either, so. Mom, do you love me? She's not in heaven. No, she's just not my biggest fan. My dad, on the other hand. Dad might be on. Dad might watch. He might be on Facebook. My mom is. My dad on the other hand. Dad might be on. Dad might watch. My mom is.

My mom is watching. Hi mom. Hi mom. I think Talia's mom is watching too. All the moms are on. Not Vanessa's mom. Vanessa is your mom working? She's being a good mom.

This is light, medium, neutral. She's probably working. Woo. That is really light. If it was January maybe. Right. When I didn't have a tan. I'm not sure. Ooh, that is really light. If it was January maybe.

Right, but I didn't have a tan. Could be. Medium, deep warm. I think I'm the dark one. I think I'm this one. No. That's a. Well, it's hard to tell

because you already have makeup on. I do. So. But it matches her neck. This is the first. Do you put makeup on your neck? I usually go.. But it matches her neck. This is the first. Do you put makeup on your neck? I usually go. Oh, that's another thing. You're so chaotic.

Don't stop here with your makeup. With my hands. Blend it in. And I don't need. I probably should learn how to use brushes, but I use my hands for everything. Same. I use brushes. I always use my hands.

This is like. Oh, I'm a difficult one. You're. You are tough. I would say the like one. You're you are tough Me too Me too. It's gonna be perfect. It's definitely yeah train Oh, yeah, that first one okay, it's she gone. Oh Yeah, do you remember which one that you look like? If we did it under your eyes, it would be like tribal.

There was a tribal. We can get clean one of these. OK, there you go. I think this was it. Oh, that's pretty. So OK. So no one else to test. So cool., so cool. There's no one else to test. So cool, I love that.

Oh, and you're probably, first skin tint, I would say medium first skin tint. I like the idea of a skin tint. Skin tint is nice. That sounds fun, I like that. Well, too bad we can't, we're gonna do your thing now, right, Tracy? And then I can clean up?

Okay, perfect. What are you gonna do? I'm gonna move all my stuff. How do they reach out to you? So how do they find out? If they like, just so if they, if you guys listen, sometimes you just don't know the right product, okay? And we are to favorite brothers and sisters in Christ.

And I wasn't, she doesn't even know I was gonna do this, but I'm just saying to you, now this stuff, you get what you pay for, and that's the truth. But you know what I did when I first started out, which probably is what all of us can say is, I started out with a few good products and then I kept my crappy ones.

Like, do these first because these hit the skin first. So if you're going to take an investment and make a good investment, make the investment in these products first because they're the initial things that hit your skin. And then build from there because it isn't cheap to buy good makeup, but it's worth buying good makeup and you'll see it and the results of it.

It's just the facts. So how- And it doesn't end up under your counter either, like in the cosmetics graveyard that we all have of stuff that we bought. And then we used it a couple of times and we're like, eh. I don't like it.

When I use any of these, I'm like scraping the bottom until it's gone because it's that good. And there's no fillers in it either. So you're not like getting just garbage. It usually lasts longer too. It does, it lasts much longer. The product lasts longer.

Just like if you buy a good pair of shoes, they will last you longer. The trend of them will probably die out before the sole of the shoe does. But anything worth anything is worth, you're not gonna pay for it. So think about it. But even if it's just, even if you're like,

oh, I wanna do that, but I just can't afford to get it all. I didn't start out getting it all. I bought like one little thing, and then the next time I could do another little thing. Right. And then before you know it, you've got all the little things.

So. Yeah, good. A lot of my best preferred clients too, because they get a discount. They'll get some friends together and do a little spa party, and then they get my discount. So that's a really good way to get the stuff. And not have to pay full price. So if they want to get a hold of you in the comment section we'll have all that information that that's on the screen

right now. Yeah and then Sarah do you want to say it? How do you want them to get because if it's like on the audio podcast, how do you know? Phone number, email. You can call me at 941-237-6794. Can they text you? You can also text me at that number. I like that.

I'll probably answer you faster if you text me. Because I run two businesses and my life from the same phone. So definitely text me or you can email me if you're an emailer at startthrivingwithsarahatgmail.com. Perfect. Yeah. Awesome. Awesome.

Thank you guys. Just so you know, I asked her. I asked her like, if, well, I don't know. Did I ask you? I think I, I don't know. All I know. You said you wanted the makeup and I said, well, I don't know. Did I ask you? I don't know. All I know. You said you wanted the makeup. And I said, well, I can bring it on Friday

and you can try it out. We could do like some skin testing on the podcast. Or I said, or if you don't want to do that. And I gave you another option. And you said, no, let's do it. Let's do it on the podcast. Cause I'm telling you right now, like you don't know what you don't know.

And I didn't know all about makeup. Norma's taught me a lot of stuff. But it's really, it's good stuff to know, because we all wear it. So thank you. And if you don't wear it and you want to learn how, don't ask me, because I'm not the one to ask. I just have the product.

Yeah. Yeah. YouTube. Kristen Wagner. OK. Kristen Wagner, the singer. My daughter and her stand next to each other on the stage. Kristen, she'll show you.

She's, that's one of her things that she does. She's a makeup artist. Oh, that's right. She does makeup. She's a makeup artist. Well, thank you. This was awesome. Thank you. I appreciate it very much.

I love you. I love you. Hey, Trace, do your thing. Okay. All right, guys. Now we are going to go to my favorite part, which is you guys help me share these things. So if you're on Facebook,

you can be watching on Foundation Church or the Hope Hotline. We are live on both. So if you're watching on there, just say hello. Let us know where you're watching from. Sarah, do you have under eye concealer? Yes, she does. Dawn, she has under eye concealer.

So reach out to her, get that, try it out, see what you think about it. And also, if you are on Rumble, hey guys, there's a lot of you in there. Thanks for joining in on the conversation. If you've got any questions for Sarah, she'll be in the live chat. So feel free to ask questions while we're going along with the rest of the podcast. We got some hot topics, and so we're going to talk about them. If you are in YouTube, make sure you're subscribing. You can also write in the live chat as well if you're who you're watching and where you're watching from because we do always love to know who's watching. Blackrobe is always available and obviously the audio podcast is available as well and that will be afterwards because you can't go live so I got uploaded after

so just join us there. If you have a question, send it in. Askhope at hopehotline.com. We love to hear from you guys. Great questions always, always are coming in. Like I was saying, I think a couple podcasts ago, if you're scrolling on social media and something comes up, be curious.

Have curiosity. Instead of just receiving what is being shown to you, ask questions and then send me the question so I can send it to Hope. And it's fun having these kinds of conversations. Sometimes you think you know something or maybe you know you were told that you should believe something to be true and until you start questioning things, I don't know. Sometimes it's just tradition or something that was taught to you. So let's let's ask questions. Those are always the

best. If you're on Instagram, you can follow us there. You can also follow us on TikTok. Both of them are the whole pot line and new to the TikTok world is hope. So got a bunch of stuff going on there. We're actually even asking questions to Hope on there that are not on here. So you want to pop on that we had a fun one yesterday. So you can pop on there. They're very quick and to the point. Please feel free to join us, follow us, do all the things.

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And Natalie will be back on the podcast at the end of the month, we are excited to have her back. We already have a few questions for her. Again, some more hot topics, because that's how it works with Natalie. So if you have questions, get them in. She will be back where we are right now. Okay, so not next Friday, the following Friday. So you've got some time. You got about two weeks to send in those questions. Send any questions, even if you think she's answered it before send it in and then we can help. You know, we can send you what her answer was and then maybe you still have a question on top of that because sometimes that's how it works. But you have free access to a very, very smart, amazing woman. So please take advantage of that. And actually, I think that's it for now. So we are ready to go to the podcast. Here we go. So we are ready to go to the podcast. Here we go. Okay, we two days of...

Well, this one's not so wild, but I'm gonna do the sponsors really quick. Yeah, so we can get going because we're gonna be talking about... Well, I'll tell you what the question is before we go. So you'll know what we're moving into. But the question that we're going to go straight into is, what do you do when you think someone is grooming your child? And what does that look like? Like, holy crap. Yeah.

Like, I mean, I know. Well, we're going to get back to that because that was like, that's super sensitive, super hot topic. And one that like, I didn't even know, I did some research. I didn't even know like how someone grooms a child. Do you know how somebody grooms a child? Like you can have a couple ideas,

but there's ways that people do this. I'm curious, yeah, I think I do, but I'm curious what you're gonna tell us all about. Yeah, like frightening. So if, so what I'm gonna tell you, if the person that you think might be grooming your child is doing these things, run. This is a, so a lot of times to wonder,

like, is this person really nice to my kid? they're just nice like they have no ill intentions. They're just nice because all of us are like not me, but I'm just saying and the other thing. Because you're scared. Like a lot of times people are just nice people, but then there's the freaks. And even the freaks don't look like freaks. I mean, Ted Bundy got away with what he got away with for a reason. True. Cause he looked normal.

True. I mean, I don't know like, what was that guy? Jeffrey Dahmer. I mean, he looked weird. It was the glasses. It was. He looked weird. So like, if it's a Jeffrey Dahmer,

you might have something going for you. But if it's a nice looking person and, you know, they're being really nice to your kid, and you go, oh, there can't be any harm in that. There might be, but there's like tall tale signs that you can focus on. So we're going to get to those. Two seconds. Let's run through the sponsors really quick.

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So, all right. Now my kids are older, so I don't have to worry about this, but I'd be lying if I told you, like I was really, really picky about who my kids hung around with and who I allowed them to be in the care of and even in that I'm sure there are people who can say they did all those things and still something happened okay all I can tell you is do the best that you can and like pray over the hedge of

protection of your children. Okay? But you're gonna have you have to monitor. Like I mean I didn't even let my kids go and spend the night at people's houses. But there are teenagers especially boys that see pornography and everything and like like, you gotta be careful. Yeah. So, when I say teenage boys, I mean like 13, 13 and younger. So, I mean, I don't wanna make people not like,

I don't want people to live in fear, but I also want people to use wisdom, and not like COVID wisdom. I mean like don't let your kid just go and spend the night at anybody's house. Like they're your only investment and it's our job to guard their heart and to protect them in everything. You don't, it's like I've known people who've been, who are allowed to go over to anybody and everybody's house. I've known people who are allowed to go over to anybody in everybody's house. And that's nuts.

I mean, do you disagree or agree? And I'm not a person that's a chicken. I don't see people as a threat. Mm-hmm, yeah, I agree. Yeah. Be very cautious. Yeah. I mean, it's, they're babies depending on you

to make the right decision for them. And even though they may want to go, like there were places that my parents like, you're not going over there. Now I still don't know why to this day, like my parents were like, you're not going over to that house. But they made a decision

and I'm sure it was for my best interest. So that's like, that's a parent's job. Not to get rid of their kids so they get some free time, which is what I see parents doing. They're like, they just need a break. So they'll let their kid go to anybody's house. That will take them. Yeah. That's frightening. Don't do it. You know what the best thing you can ever do is have your kid, let their, have your kid bring their friend over

and then they go up to their room and they play together. And then, you know, you don't even see him for the rest of the time, correct? True. Like don't make it so that they can't have a friend. Like you will need a break. If you're their play friend, let them have a friend over. And then a lot of people don't wanna be bothered with somebody else

coming over to the house too. Do you know what I'm saying too? Cause it's like one more kid, trust me. It won't feel like it's one more kid. They'll go play. They'll go play, exactly. So let me, so I'm gonna tell you what, have you guys ever had anybody that thought

that their kid was getting groomed? I don't think so. Not in my immediate circle. Yeah. No. Like it's big on the internet guys. Yes. Oh yeah.

For sure. That's like a, that's one that everybody knows. Sarah, have you ever known anybody? You were in the school system, so you were exposed to way more people than most. The school system is grooming the kids with all of the LGBTQ and all of that. It's like the first step into all that. I agree.

But I also, before I surrendered my life fully to Jesus, had a group of friends that we would, our kids all played together and we would of friends that we would, our kids all played together and we would go over and we would, you know, there was a lot of drunkenness and all that. One of the guys actually was abusing some of the kids there and got caught for it and got put in jail and then ended up committing suicide

because of all the things that were coming out. So wow. Holy mackerel. See, and the thing is, is I mean, and a lot of people live that lifestyle. Do you know what I'm saying? They're just, they party together on the weekends or in the evenings.

I mean, that is like the sheriff's office. Yeah. I mean, there's just a bunch of them that all party together. They all hang out. There's like any, like a lot of them that all party together. They all hang out. There's like any, like a lot of the companies I worked for if we all lived in the same area, everybody, but you could say that with pretty much any job

or any company that you become really tight and you hang out after work and then you party on the weekends together. So I can totally see that. And you're never once thinking, not once would you think, because you know these people, that anything like that would happen. Because you're all hanging out, so you're all thinking like, we're friends, why would you do that? There wasn't a lot of thinking, there's a lot of drinking. Well, yeah, but you're like looking at these people and you're not

thinking like, you're thinking you like me, I like you, there's no way you would do any harm to any child. Aren't the statistics, don't they say that it's usually someone that you know? Yes. 100%. But a lot of people don't think that. Yeah. It's true, it is usually somebody you know.

Statistically speaking. And it's somebody that you would never even suspect. That's why, just cause they look the part, doesn't mean they are in part. And I wonder if it's because they're also grooming you as well. They do do that. Yeah.

They make you trust them like they're trying to make the kid trust them. Yeah, that makes sense. Yes, it is. It's frightening. I mean, maybe people should have trusted Jeffrey Dahmer more than Ted Bundy. You think about it. I mean, both of them were killers.

I'm trying to make that make sense. But I'm just saying, maybe the weirdies. Maybe the weirdies aren't so weird. And the ones that, did the guy look weird? Oh. Sarah, that was doing this to people? No. Yeah. I mean, he was pretty normal.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like there, I've known like, like in the school system, like back in the day, there was a elementary school in the area and the principal got caught for molesting the kids. The principal, he looked normal. Yeah, I don't think it has anything to do with how people look.

I don't think so either. Yeah, some know how to camouflage their disgusting. Yeah. Very charming. Yeah. So what is grooming? Grooming is a deliberate process by which offenders gradually initiate

and maintain sexual relationships with victims in secrecy. So this ain't like, this isn't like you're gonna be doing it like whatever you think you're saying like if you think something's out of I say always it's always the gut. It's like when a woman thinks or a man thinks his spouse is cheating on him or like significant other. If your guts telling you that, the odds are, I mean, can you be wrong? Yeah. Especially if you're a paranoid person,

like you always think are very jealous, very jealous, very paranoid people, you're probably getting it wrong. But if you're like a normal everyday person, like me, I love that. I'm just saying, if you're like, if you, if you got a clear head, like for you to automatically think that your significant other is cheating on you,

something ain't right. Something is causing you to have that thought process. What is that? The red flags are there. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like there's just certain things

like fighting more than normal. Like for me, like I have been cheated on. So for me, what happened when I got cheated on was would start fights so they could leave the house, right? Yep. Or really leave you. So they could go off and then, or saying that you were doing the very same thing

that they are doing. Mm-hmm, true. Yep. That's a big one. And I'm like, what, wait. They're accusing you of cheating. Yes. And I was like, I don't even think you're cheating.

And now I'm thinking, wait a minute, are you cheating? Exactly. Yeah. Because I know I ain't cheating. So why, but all of those things, do you know what I'm saying? Gone all the time. Especially at weird hours.

On the phone, but you don't know who they're talking to. I mean, there's just a whole bunch of things that- They always have their phone on them and you can never look at what they're doing with other secret codes. There are things that make you go, something don't fit right or feel right. Cause this was never how it was before.

And now all of a sudden, so that's where you're gonna, in my opinion, if you're like getting like, your antennas up going, you might wanna really think about it. If this is like completely out of the ordinary, you might sit there and go, you might want to really think about it if this is like completely out of the ordinary. You might sit there and go, you might be right. Maybe your child is being groomed.

Because if no other person has, and women can groom just like men can groom, but I think more men groom than women, if I were, I don't know that to be true as a statistic, but I would say if other relationships that your child has been in or you've been in with other people and these things weren't going on and they are going on, you might be right.

You might wanna look into it. So I'm gonna tell you, when I did some research, what it said were tall-tale signs for someone to see if their child was being groomed is what a groomer does is they isolate the child, which I did not know that. It says, the perpetrator uses isolation tactics to reinforce the relationship with the child by creating situations in which they are alone together. And this can involve cultivating a sense

that they love and understand the child in a way that others, even their parents, cannot. So they're gonna turn the kid against the parent. For example, the perpetrator might say, you can trust me because no one understands you the way I do. Now that would have to be like somebody who is like probably like eight years and older, right? To be able to understand that kind of communication, correct?

Cause a smaller child still can be groomed, but they probably wouldn't understand that. But I mean, that's crazy. I can see where teenage girls could fall for this. Yeah. Because you're getting attention and somebody is saying to me, I know you so well. You're very special to me.

I know you even better and care about you more than your own parents do. Cause you know, at that age, there's contention with kids a lot of times with their parents, depending on that relationship, it's very contentious. So to have somebody say, you're right, they're wrong, that would be very like drawing in. And I don't know how old this person's kid is,

so you'll figure it out, but at any rate, it's still a great question. And it could be, I'm glad I'm not focusing on one age group group because everybody can learn from what you're walking through, no matter what their kids, and in school systems today, like it's so bad, but like teachers are getting caught left and right.

Yeah, all the time. Did you say all the time, Sarah? I did. Oh. All the time. Every time I turn on, I feel like there's like seasons of it. You look on your phone and another- But it's women with boys a lot of times.

Yes. What the heck? And nice looking women. I know. And they have kids and a husband. Yeah, sometimes they do. The one most recent that I saw was she was, she got impregnated by like a 12 year old.

No. Oh yeah. she had already had multiple relationships with 12 and 13 year old boys. Multiple. I have never looked at a 12 year old and thought, I want a relationship with that. That's disgusting. You know what I mean? Like you have to be, they are, they're totally.

Or maybe they were abused as a child. That's likely what has happened. Oh, okay. Like there has to be a route to it. They're definitely messed up in their head. Yeah, some ain't right. All wires are not signaling to each other. Yeah, yeah.

It's patterns. There's a short circuit somewhere. Well, for me, like I sit there and go, I'm 57. And there are women my age that are dating 40 year old men, 40 something, that's disgusting to me. You can't even imagine like looking at another guy. So that's true. That's true.

That's so funny. Cause he, Tom was, Kristen was doing my nails while Tom was doing the podcast. We were in my office and I was watching him doing it. She said, oh, look at you and how you're smiling at him. I didn't even know it. Like how you're smiling at him as you're watching him. And I'm like, dear Lord, I need to get a hobby. I just want to say for the record, Jeff did not groom me.

Oh my God. I totally forget because he looks young. He has a big birthday this year. He's turning 50. We're 10 years apart. Are you sure you weren't? How do you know you know because wasn't he friends with your mom first? Hold on. No, no, no. Wait Because wasn't he friends with your mom first? Hold on, no, no, no. Wait, he befriended your mom first? He was friends with my mom first. That's to get to her, he groomed you. That sounds like grooming. That sounds like grooming.

What keep checking out the list? Were you 18? I was 21. Oh, so then. But she was like a baby 21. I was, mentally I was probably 16, exactly. Groomed. Groomed.

That's why you fit, that's why you get so long, get along so well with like Norma and Tanya. I know for a second I had to check myself. Am I grooming them? Right. Right. But here's the thing I can say nothing because I hang out with you guys

and you're all way younger than me. Am I being groomed again? Oh my gosh. This is turning dark guys. I might be. I have no problems with that. Oh my gosh. And the Lord does not either.

It's in His Word. Hey listen, they say that back in biblical times, well, let's just take like Isaac, he was 40 years old when he married Rachel. Yeah. Or Rebecca. So Isaac and Rebecca and it's Jacob and Rachel. And Rachel.

Okay. So like a lot of men were older and the girls were in their 15s and plus. They believe like Mary was like 14 years old. Yeah. So who knows how old Joseph was because remember he died or he's no longer talked about when Jesus was,

when Jesus was hung on the cross and she was still, she was at the foot of the cross so they don't believe he was around anymore. So who knows how old Joseph was? True. They didn't groom back then though. You were assigned. Yeah.

I mean, it was just culturally accepted. Right. So listen, that'll be culturally accepted. Oh my gosh. When I groomed them. Just kidding. This is a guy down a really dark path and this person's probably like,

can you just answer my question? Like help me answer my question, please. Help me, you're actually validating grooming my child. I'm not, I'm just kidding. No, no, no, for real. I'm kidding, but all seriousness. Okay, yeah, go ahead. Okay, the next thing they do,

or I think they do multiple of these, but it's like, these are the things that they statistically do on a regular basis. Sexualizing the relationship. I'm not kidding you guys, this is like blew my mind. Says once emotional dependence and trust have been built, the perpetrator progressively sexualizes the relationship. This can occur through talking pictures, which I know pictures because they try and get the kid to send pictures of themselves,

but creating situations in which both are naked, the adult exploits the child's natural curiosity and trust using stimulation to advance the sexual nature of the relationship. Did you know that? No but I'm feeling very uncomfortable right now. Yes! I've listened to like a podcast before so it's interesting now because she knows she was groomed so it's interesting for you to like do this checklist. Cause now I'm like-

Was that her? A hundred percent following with what happened with her. Are you kidding me? So crazy, yes. And she befriended the mom. Like everything you're saying is exactly what happened to her. Wow. So when you say she befriended the mom,

so this is a woman doing it to a girl that was a child? She was 16. Yeah doing it to a girl that was a child? She was 16. Yeah, it was a teacher, a special teacher. And it was a 16 year old girl, had a lot of problems at home. Her dad just died of a drug overdose. Oh my goodness. And so she got an IEP put into this room

and she was groomed by the teacher. She got to go on special trips with her. Everything was very secretive. Yeah, and her mom like really trusted her. So of course her mom trusts her. So why would she not trust her? That's what I'm saying. That's why you just like your kid trusts that if you-

If you trust, and then she was like all the special things saying how like your mom doesn't understand, but I understand everything you're saying is what happened to this girl. That is nuts. They must, the study that I took this from literally must have, well, obviously they probably did a study on people who have been groomed

and found out how it happened. Does this sound familiar? Vanessa. Vanessa, did Jeff do this to you? I'm sorry, now I can think about it as that. Does this sound familiar? Vanessa. Vanessa, did Jeff do this to you? I'm sorry, now I can think about is that. No, but it's it's no, it's really it really is. It's terrible because like, it's the trust factor.

Like we say about if your trust is broken, how do you get but like when you get this much trust in a person, why would you question it? And the crazy part is, there's so many toxic things that happened to her, the 16 year old, from the time that she would go over and hit her on the head with a book and swear at her. But she's like, well, she just cares about me. She wants me to have a good education. So she was mistreating her, but then making it seem like it was normal. This poor girl had no idea what healthy was.

Oh my gosh. I know. It was pretty wild. And it just got worse. Obviously. It was. Yeah, it was really bad. Holy crap. But interesting that all this stuff is aligning with her story. Okay, tell me if this one's in there too. Desensitization to touch and discussion of sexual topics.

So, abusers will often start to touch a victim in ways that appear harmless such as hugging wrestling and tickling and later escalate to increasingly more sexual contacts such as massages or showering together abusers may also show the victim pornography or discuss sexual topics with them to introduce the idea of sexual contact did that happen so this one was a little bit different because I Did that happen? So this one was a little bit different because I think the whole point was for grooming, but eventually, because they brought her into the house, but they didn't, she didn't end up doing anything. She ended up doing something with a husband,

the 16 year old who ended up being like moving in with him. Did she get groomed by him? So eventually, yes. And what happened was- So she got groomed by the wife and then groomed by the husband? Right, so I think the plan was eventually to bring her in because they were swinging, the husband and wife were.

And so this girl found, so they moved her into the house, basically like you said, took her away from the mom and like they went in, when she turned 18, they went into the house, grabbed all of her stuff out, brought it into their house, didn't even tell the mom that she was moving out. They just went in when they knew mom was at home, grabbed all of her stuff, brought it in. And she said there was a point where she was watching a basketball or a football game or whatever. And she texts the husband like sucks to be

you or something like that. And then he started making any windows and you windows about that word. And then it went from there. So that's the only part that was like that like makes sense for this. Oh my gosh. I know. I know and it's so crazy like it ruins her like the innocent the innocence is gone and now she's she's a 35 year old woman and she's confused about her sexuality. Is she really? Yeah.

Yeah. She was she intimate with the wife too? No she was never. sexuality. Is she really? Yeah. Yeah. Was she intimate with the wife too? No, she was never. But why is she confused about her sexuality then? Because she was mistreated by this guy. By a man. So she's like, well, men suck. Men suck, yeah.

And so now she's been in relationships with women. Like she just doesn't, and she's like, and she said it. I have no, I don't know. I don't know like what is good for me. Wow. Oh my gosh. I know. I don't know like what is good for me. Wow. Oh my gosh. I know. That's so sad.

That's why like the, that's why it is so important to be careful with who your kids are around because these, like they do, they shape what happens and God can heal and do all the stuff, but like why even. Allow that root to be planted or that seed to be sown. Cause man, oh man, uprooting that root is, holy crap. Yeah, it's a big deal. That is a big deal.

So in other words, don't get your kid away from that kind of person. Or what, whether you think it or not. If there's any question, like why would you? Because here's the thing, I understand why you would have that question because maybe you're making a bigger deal out of it than what it really is.

And you don't wanna accuse somebody of something that they're purely innocent over. Maybe they're just a really nice person and they have really great intentions. Maybe this person has a son and they have no father. She's not married and this person's really like wanting to help be a nurturing, like a big brother to them. There's a lot of big brothers, big sisters that are in it

for the right reasons. And so like, if you've never like had a, if you've never seen a man treats something, a child correctly, you might not understand that that's normal. Do you know what I'm saying? So I understand like what is normal, what is not normal. Cause a lot of times nowadays kids grow up

and they don't have a dad. So they don't even know what a good father son relationship looks like. But hello. I mean, so I see what Sarah's saying, but I do understand their plight. Right, right. I tend to go with the way Sarah's thinking,

like run the opposite fricking direction. Right. Like why risk it? Exactly. But I would feel bad if this man or woman or whoever has perfectly great intentions and because somebody doesn't understand purity and the heart behind of doing something right,

their kid does, I don't know. Well, one of the things she said when she starts the podcast is she's like, I should have known early on, what would a 28 year old have to do? Like, why would they ever wanna befriend a 16 year old? And I think like, I look at Vanessa, I'm like, are we good? Because I love Talia, like Talia is so mature for her age and she's just like, she's like special. And my girls are 18 and so like, are we good? Because I love Talia. Talia is so mature for her age

and she's just like special and my girls are 18. And so like, but I don't, it is, like there's an innocence attached to it. There's never a time that it's anything but, like I love Talia like my own little like sister basically. But like how, as a parent that doesn't have the Holy Spirit, like how do you make those decisions? Like, you know what I mean? Like, I know this is a, if you don't have the Holy Spirit, like how do you make those decisions? Like, you know what I mean?

Like, I know, this is a, if you don't have the Holy Spirit. And even then you can be so trusting because you're like, you can miss it. Of course, yeah, I know. Like you can be very trusting and like. Yeah, right, because that's what they're doing. Because I've known people who've had, like I've known people who've invited family members

into their home. I mean, we had a family that came here and they took in the cousin. And the cousin was basically only like a couple of years older than the rest of the kids from the oldest down. It was a couple of years older than the oldest. And then it dwindled down, but it wasn't that much. And that cousin molested three of the kids.

Yeah. Two boys and one girl. Yeah. Didn't even know what was going on. Right. No idea. Right. Nobody said a word.

Right. To the parents. Like it happens. I know. I mean, that's one of the reasons I say to Sarah. I understand this woman, or I don't know if it's a woman. I understand this person's plight, but I lean to more like Sarah. Like if there's any question, don't do it.

Right. I know. But I hate the fact that innocence has been destroyed of people who are just wanting to do what's right and like really show somebody like what true love looks like as far as a father, son, mother, daughter relationship looks like, a healthy one. So that when they get older, they can give that to their child or whatever.

But the world is twisted. And if Courtney was like, hey, I don't want you like hanging out with Talia. I'm sure your intentions were pure. I wanna be like, what? That's not fair. I wanna be your friend. So if you do, if you feel like something's off and you just say like,

hey, I just think we're gonna like take some time. If they get reactive and they're very upset about it, maybe that's like another red flag for you. And if they're like, oh no, I understand. But if you guys ever need me, I'm here. You know what I mean? Like it's- Yeah, it depends on the demeanor of the individual.

Yeah, you can do a little heart check on them and just see how they respond. It's crazy, man. Yeah. That's some crazy crap. It is crazy crap. What's that girl? I know, I know.

Holy crap. Sarah's like, it happens. That's what true exposure to the, I mean, Tom would be like, I know, I know. Because they see it all the time. I know. Like Tom saw stuff all the time. And it just, my brother was in the sheriff's office and did stuff like this. And it was like, he, he literally says, I walked through Walmart and he goes, I see an old guy I think pedophile, homosexual, like caught at Casperston Beach like like he's like I cannot look at anybody and

think of anything good about them because there's always somebody that looks like somebody who's done something like repulsive. That's hard. I would not want to live like that. No. Yeah. Neither. It's like wife beater, like, or child abuser. He's like, you walk through a store and you literally look at people and you go, I've seen people like you look like an everyday person and they are horrible and they're cruel and they're evil. It ruins it, it really taints a person.

That's why cops have a really hard time. And I think teachers do too, to a certain extent of becoming very callous and cold about certain things because the exposure to life is very tough and like what real life is like. Keep me in my bubble. Keep me in my bubble. The next one is trust development and keeping secrets. Abusers attempt to gain trust of a potential victim through gifts, attention, sharing secrets, and other means to make them feel that they have a caring relationship and to train

them to keep the relationship a secret. Next one is exploiting. Did that happen to that girl? Yeah, they went to like a little meeting and another teacher found out and the teacher that was grooming was like, you can't tell people stuff. Like this is between me and you. And so she realized after that, like everything they did had to be in secret. Holy crap.

Exploiting vulnerability, groomers exploit any vulnerability to increase the likelihood that a child or young person will become dependent on them and less likely to speak out. This can include targeting children in care with disabilities or who are neglected." Which you said that girl was in a special class. Does she have special needs though? Her dad had died of a drug use, so she was getting angry.

She was like throwing chairs, getting angry at people. So they just like, okay, she's got behavioral issues, which really she just didn't know how to deal with her dad being dead. Nobody would talk to her about it. But overall, like she, because you do hear about people being taken advantage of that have, that are- Like special needs.

Like special needs. Yeah, for sure. Like they have autism and things like that. Online grooming, I don't know what that is. I don't know, sorry about that. Online grooming often involves adults creating fake profiles and posing as children or teens. And I knew this one.

Or teens in order to befriend someone and gain their trust. This may be the first step towards sexual abuse or online stalking or harassment. I knew about that one. But, I'm gonna tell you this. First of all, we're going to pray that you have wisdom and understanding to know what you're supposed to do about this person, that God would clearly speak to you. I'm afraid to say you probably could talk to them, and sometimes you get lucky and like

you can read somebody's face. Like Tom is great at interrogation because of years and years and years of it. And you learn body language, how the eyes move. There's all different kinds of ways you can tell if somebody's not being honest with you or not. But even that, a good liar is a good liar. True. So I would strongly suggest that, a good liar is a good liar. True. So I would strongly suggest that you make this

a big matter of prayer. I would absolutely talk to the person. If I'm gonna pull my kid from somebody and their relationship, I would explain why I was doing it. I wouldn't just do it. And then I would sit down with my child and explain why I'm doing it as well. Let them understand that you have their best interests at heart.

No one cares about them more than you do. Even in the midst of punishments and arguing, fussing and fighting, cuz that's what families do. No one's gonna love them more than you do. And no one will risk everything for them like you will. And I think if you have really good open communication, and that's not to say I think it's kind of tough when you have teenagers, because teenagers, if there's a riff already, it's very, very difficult. The younger the

child is, I think the easier the conversation will be. But at the end of the day, I think true transparency is always the key, and honesty as well, with all parties. I mean, I would make it abundantly clear you're not seeing my kid again. And if I find out you are, I will file a restraining order against you. And I mean, I would be that upfront

with the whole entire thing. And then, you know, I think the truth will be revealed at some point, but I would keep tabs on the whole situation and never ever ever let my child be alone with that person ever again. What do you guys say? What say you? Yeah, I agree.

There's some people in the chat that said this has happened to a son or a niece. And so it's unfortunately not uncommon that something like this could happen. So to know the signs and look for, like I, when I did a little bit of research, I looked up like the, like what are red flags in a child that might be being groomed?

And it's kind of the same stuff. They're becoming secret. They're very anxious. They have sexualized behavior now, unexplained aggression and defense and stuff like that. Like they start acting in a way that you're like, where does this come from? So yeah, I think it's unfortunate we have to have

these conversations, but I think it's better to be proactive than to be caught off guard. Well, in today's society, I'm not shocked that, I mean, these kinds of questions are pretty common. I know. I mean, literally, I've known grandfathers who molested their own grandchildren. Me too.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know them. Well, one of them I knew personally, they were weird as crap, but I would have never suspected them to do that. But yeah, they were molesting their granddaughter. And so then I've known people who were molested by their grandfather.

And if it's happened and if you have been molested, you know what, forgiveness is the key. Yeah. I've known two people personally that have been molested. Both of them forgave the people that they molested them and they walk in complete freedom. One of them took forever for them to like get beyond it. And as soon as they did, man, life became so good for them.

Like freedom, don't let anyone you rent space in your mind, no matter what they've done, they don't deserve it. And all you do is keep repeating what they did to you. Satan wants to keep you twisted in that knot. And so, but I would say this too, if you've done things like that, people say that people who have done pedophilia, molested people or whatever, like they're not redeemable. Bull crap.crap. Everybody's redeemable. They're by the grace of God, go I, on anything. Yours was this, theirs is that. Would you want somebody to think that you're not redeemable? Not right. Not cool. So, God can do anything and

everything. So, nobody is not deserving of that. And so it's like we allow a murderer to be redeemed, but we don't allow a pedophile to be redeemed. It's not cool. It's not right. And so all of them have different consequences and have trust that has to be regained in the appropriate manner, but everybody should be allowed to be regained in the appropriate manner, but everybody should be allowed to be trusted again.

So with that, I say forgiveness is the key. In so much we forgive, we are forgiven. And I will also say, if you want to be redeemed and you have committed this crime, because it's a crime, if you committed this crime, know that don't expect that people to like all of a sudden go, oh great, you're saved, new creation in Christ, you can have my kid. Nah, it's not happening. Over time, and over time, personally speaking, maybe you should never be alone with a child, but

people should still love and trust you and be accepting of you. And that's more of what I'm saying. Not necessarily do they put a child in your care, but maybe they just need to say, you know what? God's forgiving you. I'm going to forgive you and let's move on past here. But trust has to be earned. So do you guys know what I'm saying?

Does that make sense? I think there's a difference between forgiveness and trusting and I always go back to John 2.24 and it said that Jesus didn't trust any of them because he knew all about men. And that's one of my banner verses for my life. Because I'm like, I wanna be trustworthy. But that doesn't mean that I have to trust other people.

Like I forgive them, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna give them access again to hurt me or to hurt someone else. So. I think, but being redeemed, But being redeemed, everybody, I mean, God redeemed us, and He's not the only one that gives that right. We are to do that with everybody, and I understand. But if I want to be considered to be trustworthy, that means then it's a sow that's seen. You sow, you reap and you sow. If you don't trust, then you won't be trusted.

Do you know what I'm saying? If you want to be considered to be trustworthy, you're asking people to do the very thing that you're not doing yourself with others. Does that make sense? Yeah. The word redeemed, it's like, Jare says this all the time, it's being brought back to right standing, to a previous state. So if you're truly redeemed, like that means they have to go back to the original state. Which I think everybody has that right. I wanted people to give me that chance

because I was in a place that was pretty bad. Like I am not kidding when I say there by the grace of God go I, not because of pedophilia, but because I was just a wretched horrible sinner. I was a very, I was in a very bad place. I want people to look at me and go that's not her, she doesn't show any of those signs anymore, and the areas that she faltered and failed and sinned, I would trust that she'll never do that again. That's where I want to be able to put that same thing on other people. But here's the problem,

sexual sin has a higher consequence and carries a bigger ramification to it. And anytime we we do that, then it's not just as quick as saying, you gossiped about me, I forgive you. Okay? Sexual sin is completely different. But should people who've committed sexual sins against other people have a chance to be redeemed? Yeah, I do. Like the rapist. If he's totally... he shouldn't have to be castrated to say, I trust you in a room full of women. At some point, if he's really sold out to the Lord, he should be in a room full of women

and nobody should be afraid. But that doesn't happen overnight. That is a thing over time. And I wouldn't just like, it would be a very long time before. I'm not saying that they're not redeemed and the Lord hasn't forgiven them. And I haven't done the same thing,

but I don't think it's something that is earned quickly as other things are earned quickly, more quickly, especially when it comes to the safety of others. I don't know. Yeah. That has, like gossiping is not really a safety issue. It's a stupidity issue. Whereas murderers and things like that,

that's a safety issue. But that doesn't mean that you're not worthy to be, at some point, where you were acknowledging, you realize what the heck, especially if you killed somebody at 19 and you were in a fight and you let your temper get out of hand, does that mean when you're 59 you're going to do the same thing? What you look like at 19 and what you look like at 59 are two different things.

At some point, we have to, like if you've asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, there has to be some kind of, if over a period of time that the character and moral traits have changed, you have to like say, okay, I'm gonna give this person a chance. Yeah. Otherwise, I mean, then they'll be totally carrying the scarlet letter on their chest for the rest of their life.

I don't think that's right either. I mean, I personally wouldn't like it. So, I mean, do unto others. So, I don't think that's right either. I mean, I personally wouldn't like it. So, I mean, do unto others. So I don't know, ladies, anything else? Yeah, it's a tough one. That one's a tough one. It is a tough one. It doesn't, a lot of the stuff in the Bible is tough. Forgiveness is tough when you've been hurt

over and over and over again, but it doesn't, the Bible's very clear about forgiveness. Yeah, and there are certain things that people can do to, there are certain things that people can do to, there are certain things that people can do that are just considered like horrific and there's just no chance. I had to overcome that feeling. Like I've had to be like, I have felt like that,

like 38 and away, but that's, I mean, Tom has been a great teacher of like saying, that's not how Jesus is though. Like you can't be like that, like there ain't no way, but that's, I mean, Tom has been a great teacher of like saying that's not how Jesus is though. Like you can't be like that. That's not how Jesus looks at people. And that's not like, like there's reasonable things and reasonable redemption. And that's what you have to allow people to gain and earn. And I'm like, I guess that's true.

Cause there are just certain things that I'm like, I guess that's true. Yeah. Because there are just certain things and I'm like, there ain't no way. But I don't feel like that anymore. Yeah. You know, but I, but I have felt like that. So to act like I haven't would be be dishonest. So, yeah. But let's pray for you. And, and I'm going to pray over the ones that that have had to overcome because listen, it's not easy. It's not easy to gain trust back into humanity when innocence has been stolen. And there's a lot more people that it's happened to than a lot of us would care to even acknowledge

because it's just too hard for us to even comprehend. Because that's a toughy. Yeah, it is. Absolutely. Especially when you become a mom. Right. Yeah, I know. That's a tough one. A tough thing to swallow. So let's just pray. Heavenly Father, we just come to you right now. And Father God, I just ask that you would give this parent a wisdom on how to handle this situation, Lord. Honesty is always the best way to do it. I ask that you would speak through this

person and that the hearts of the individuals that they are speaking to would receive it from the child that has to be told, potentially, that the relationship is being severed with this individual to the individual that needs to be spoken to the adult or teenager or I don't know what the age is, but whoever they're going to have to speak to about the uneasiness of this relationship, I ask that they would see it in the light of this parent. They would have an understanding and that they would appreciate, maybe not harbor any ill will, but appreciate and understand where they're coming from and walk away quietly and honorably

and also make the child understand or the teenager understand that the parent is right. Make this be smooth, amicable, and Holy Spirit gospel driven, severing or understanding or keeping the unit together. Whatever it is, Lord, you take care of it, whether the whole thing dissolves or it stays together. Let you be the center of it and make sure that it stays pure and no harm comes to the child.

Father God, for the ones that have been harmed through molestation, grooming, or whatever the case may be, Lord, I ask that you would touch their hearts. I ask first and foremost that they would forgive the person that has done or persons that's done this to them. Lord, it's in the Word. It says, in so much we forgive, we are forgiven. It is not an option. In order for us to receive the forgiveness of our sins and go to heaven, we have to forgive those who have done ill or harm to us or sinned against us. And Lord, I ask that they would understand this, that Lord, there will be revelation knowledge that would be given to them, and Lord, they would leave it at the altar.

They would leave the hurt and the stress and the anxiety of whatever's happened to them. Leave it at the altar and you will take care of it to cast all their cares upon you for you care for them and let them see what whatever was stolen from them. Purity, what true love looks like, honesty, trust, things that have been stolen, Lord. Let them all come back through their strong relationship with You. Something that Satan has taken will be restored but greater, and that they would see it in the light that only with the pureness that you can only provide. And let them be a stronger person for this and let them use it for ministry

and something that can help someone else. We thank you, we praise you, and Lord, you are the healer. So heal the heart, the mind, and the soul in each and every individual. In Jesus' mighty name we pray. Amen. Thank you for tuning in. We will see you on Sunday. And that's it. Right? Yeah, that's it. That's it. Bye.