The Hope Hotline - Joy in the Holidays! Part Four

Episode Date: December 19, 2025

The Hope Hotline | S03-E79 | 12-19-2025

Real talk. Real talk. Hello and welcome to the Hope Hotline. How are you doing today? I have a three musketeer in my mouth. Super sorry. I'm on a sugar low. How many of you?

Sorry. I don't have my in area either. How many of you guys, like if your sugar is low, you get blurry eyesight. Is that normal? I'll have chat. Jair is with us today. Jair, you just said when your sugar's low, you get blurry eyesight.

And I get like shaky. I am like this is my, for the rest of the year, this is my last day of fasting, literally is. And I'm like, I don't know. Like I think I've done it for so long one day or week and two days a week. I think it's like I don't I have to look it up if that's healthy or not to do that I got it I got it so you your brain and your eyes rely heavily on glucose can you hear me uh-huh for proper function when your blood sugar drops the brain struggles to process visual information eye muscles and visual cortex don't work as efficiently and it can lead to blurry vision

double vision or trouble focusing. Which was my last ladies event. Like I didn't know that. Somebody told me like because I couldn't think, I couldn't process. And I was like, what is wrong with me? Like. Confusion. Brain fog. I was very

like, yeah. And I had fasted and I knew I shouldn't have because God told me not to do that. And I did it anyway because I wanted to like make sure that I could hear his voice clearly. I couldn't hear squat. Couldn't hear anything, let alone think. I literally was in the biggest brain fog I've ever experienced, I think, in my whole entire life. Except for when I used to do, which I shouldn't have done it today, but I fasted today.

That's the reason I just broke my fast because, I know it's supposed to be till six tonight, but I'm like, I can't see. I literally was like, I can't, literally could not see squat. I still can't. I mean, it's all, like, like, blurry. Wow. Oh, well. Keep eating that sugar. Holy moly.

I did not know that. That's good to know. I know fasting affects a lot of things, but. Yeah. Our brains need glucose. Believe it or not. And I have been dieting, too. And that too, right.

Which has not been good. I mean, in some ways good. I gained so much weight. wait. Merry Christmas. This is like our last one before the holidays. I know. I have our little thing. Let's just, let's get off of me. Okay. I'm going to eat this. You go to you. I'll go through my stuff. Enjoy your sugar. And then hopefully I'll see again. After we come back. There you go. All right. So yeah, this is our last podcast for 2025. We will see you next year. And we're going to have a new season and new topics. So it's going to look a little different next year.

so you'll definitely want to join us if you can join us live that's always fun because we can chat together if not you can always watch the replay it'll be i'm going to have all different graphics too but um just as a reminder you can go on to facebook rumble youtube and any audio podcast so that's apple podcast spotify amazon anything that has podcasts we are on there so that always goes up later it is not live um but if you're watching on facebook like share comment do all the fun stuff if you're watching on YouTube um YouTube has been very silly lately they think that we are a unalived podcast that you can get help from us and as many times as I've written YouTube and said that that is not what we do YouTube is just being its own entity so it you it actually pops up saying

like are you sure you want to come on here should should we just make a new account I almost think we need to I think for the season for the beginning of the year beginning of the year we'll have a new account. That's what I'm going to do. I love that idea. Because you know what, new, the algorithm loves new. New YouTube. I'm making a note. New YouTube. That's crazy. Because I, like, I have, I try and email them and all the things. So we, and in our lives have been, um, uh, blocked as well. I mean, we're on, but we've had no viewers the last two times. So I think a new YouTube is a genius idea. What do you know?

What do you know? So we'll try it. Okay. So then also, yeah, so we'll do a new YouTube on you guys. All our subscribers will have to switch over to the new one. But, you know, we love Rumble the most. So we would love for you guys to be on there. If you are watching, please let us know where you're watching from. If you're on Facebook, you can do it there too. But if not, come on over to Rumble. I don't even think I'm going to send that one anymore. So next time, we'll keep having Natalie come. So if you do have questions, are you seeing some something that is on like TikTok or all that stuff, that's where I see stuff. And I always am so curious what Natalie's thoughts are on it. You know, she has different ways to research things more than just chat GPT and TikTok. So it's fun to ask her. Plus, she's like living this out right now. So she does see things. And, you know, she's very wise. She's the wise woman. She loves the Lord. So it works out great for all of us. We'll be on Instagram. That's not changing. We will have our merch. That's not changing. Um, hope it will be on TikTok. That won't change either. So keep following along. Um, if you haven't watched through all of them, go check about, I'm at 3,500. You are at 3500.

Can you believe that? You just got over 3,500. And, um, people are still loving it. So make sure you play along with us. And, um, we'll, we'll continue that into the new year with our, with our fun ideas that we have. Uh, Foundation Church is still doing great. We're actually a little bit higher than that. I haven't switched that out yet. We're almost at a thousand. um we got some christmas songs up too so why so go check those out share and repost and all that good stuff pastor tom had a viral one recently so he's over 2000 at this point um with his tlp clips i think the most recent one was something about santa that got everybody up in arms not even they they thought it was funny um he's finding his people which is kind of the important thing and i i kind

like what i have what i think's going to happen next year is that people are going to be like where has this guy bitten. Like, where did he come from? Kind of like the other pastor, I think is what's going to happen. I'm believing that. Yeah, people are looking for this stuff. And, you know, there's a lot of people that don't like the truth and they don't like the, it's on you, you know, the message that it's like you, you're the problem. And so, but there's a lot of people that do love this and I'm included in it. So I would love to find more people that want the raw truth. and don't need everything sugar-coded and victim and all that good stuff. So let's find our people.

And I think next year, I think it really is going to happen. So I'm excited to see how that all unfolds. And I think that's it. We just have a couple things up here. But I'm going to come back to you for now. Yeah, you can hit that one thing. We normally don't do the radiant aesthetics. I think that's radiant aesthetics and permanent makeup.

You can put that up. But because of the holidays, get your gift cards. you will not be disappointed I do that so like if you know you know women women love it and some women don't even know they love it because they've never done it true so nice facial I just had one this morning you did yes somebody came in for my appointment and found out theirs is tomorrow that was me I was so excited this morning I'm driving I told you my appointment I was gone I know. It just.

Somebody forgot. Yeah. You're like me. Yeah. I'm just glad I didn't miss it. I was like, oh, I'm a day early. Good. Like, all right, I'll go back to what I was doing.

I'll be back tomorrow. Yeah. I've done that before. Showed up on the wrong day. Yeah. I'm like, I don't care. I don't care. As long as I have something to look forward to tomorrow.

Yeah. I know. It's true. Yeah, true. 9 a.m. Tell you what time is yours. Really? Boom, boom.

I will warm the bed for you. I oh my gosh that's the thing it's not only like a facial it's a whole experience it's a whole experience that bed was nice and cozy and warm this morning yeah yeah how do we get it so vibrates oh my gosh I don't know if I want that oh I do okay I don't like seriously a nice massage your back you're getting a massage while you're laying and your face is getting a massage it's a whole whole body experience. Hope, do you remember when me and you went up to Tampa to go pick up Jer and Norma from Africa and the massager? And there's a butt, like the butt one. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I didn't like that. She didn't like it. That's true. I didn't like that. I didn't like that.

That's not, that's not appropriate at all. Something is horribly wrong with that. It was so funny. Like, whoa, you're going into places that nothing. It is an exit only, okay. That's the funniest thing ever. And you knew it. I think you knew that was going to happen to me. Well, yeah.

It's a full body massage. That's like too invasive. It is pretty invasive. Yeah, not appropriate. It was so funny. Not appropriate. Okay, so not in the butt area for this, but you want it to vibrate and all this stuff everywhere else. Do all the things, but that. I don't like that. Drain my lymphatic system.

Oh, I would like that. There we go. That's a good idea. Hold on. You're not even on. So people, that's, I can already do it. Open the pathway. It opens up your lymph notes and then it drains. Literally, I'm like swallowing. Always. Do they? To prepare for going in. It's not working on me. You're not draining. You're good. I'm not drained. I must have drained last. night. You did. I did drain last night. Must be all I got. That's all you got. You're clear. Are you dehydrated? Maybe that's why your vision is. Oh. Yeah. Have you had any electrolytes or any like salt or anything? I don't know if I. You're drinking purified water. You're probably completely like she has no minerals at all. I bet.

That's true. Okay. I might. That might be it. I'm depleted. I know that. So not only sugar, but salt. Some salt. Deficient. Yeah. Some sea salt. yeah there we go okay I I can't barely see I would be lying if I didn't tell you I was a little concerned well it's a little concerned I'm looking at Talia and over to my left and I'm like that's not good yeah she's blurry right now and I can't see my screen really great. So I was like, this is not good. I couldn't even barely, I had to send you that text that I had to send you, Vanessa. I'm like, I can barely, I can't barely read when I'm writing. This is not good. I didn't know that that could happen. I didn't know. But

you know what? One of the last times I fasted, it happened when I was driving down the road. It's like, it's getting blurry. That's not good. That's not good. Maybe not. I'm going to take a break. Okay. I'm going to take a break. I don't know how. I was thinking like next year, I'm like, I'm going to take a break from fasting and I was talking to the Lord about it, but I love it so much because of how dramatic it makes your life and it changed it. I'm like, what am I going to do? Because I'm not sure I can go without fasting. Like, what do you do? It's powerful. I mean, it is powerful. If you haven't done it. I know. It is. Yeah. You guys. I mean, it almost becomes such an integral part of your life.

I can usually tell who doesn't or who hasn't lived a lifestyle of fasting because typically they're very impulsive. Really? Yes. Yes. Like they react very quickly. Because like when you fast, I really do believe you've like told your flesh no so many times and you start to see like the good effect of not being so like, like real quick to

anger, quick to this. I will tell you, though, if you do too many things, like, I have fasted so much all my life, but, like, when I did two jobs, when I did the church and then I had a regular job, and then I would have my household job, like, I was, like, always on edge because there's so many people, and I did sales, there's so many people asking you questions, so many people needing your help. Then you go home, and, you know, you're a mom. and you're a wife and all and then you have your house but then you have the church and you add that like i was spread so thin that i don't even know if enough fasting would have helped me

yeah because i so i don't know sometimes people you can fast all you want to but if you're not using wisdom in your lifestyle i don't know if it really matters i was just going to say i don't know if you're supposed to be spread that thin that too that probably not because i was i was like always on edge. Yeah. Like if one more person asks me one more question or needs one more thing for me, I think I'm going to go nuts. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You need it for downtime. Yeah. And there's not enough because if you go and take a vacation, and there's a lot of people that understand what I'm talking about right now. But even if you go on a vacation, you don't literally start decompressing until like Wednesday. And you left on Friday, got there on Saturday, and you're returning and back on Sunday.

So how many days do you really have to enjoy? your vacation, not very many because you just start decompressing. And most of the time, all my jobs, I had to answer calls and work because that's sales. So are you off? No? No, you're not. You're never off. My cortisol would be like through. You're what? My cortisol, my stress hormone. I was very stressed. I lived a lifestyle. And I pretty much. So I don't know, like, I think you're right, but not if you were like me. Right. No, you're always the unicorn. But, I'll usually ask people. When they're very impulsive, I'll say, have you ever fasted?

And they're usually say, they usually say no. Really? Yeah. But I think most people don't. Like, they don't even think, they don't, like, they don't even know what to do? Like, what do you mean fast? Because a lot of people are new believers. Like, a lot of people that come to abide.

They either have been here long enough they know about fasting or if they're new. And it's funny because, like, when we do abide, everybody kind of knows, like, the tone that's there. So, like, people don't typically come in and immediately complain about something. It's just, it's like everybody kind of looks around. Like, it's weird when somebody starts complaining about something because we come in with praise reports and we come in with the word and then we end with prayer requests. There's not really opportunity to complain. Yeah.

So when somebody does. And we're not complainers. So you attract what you are. True. And the word says not to. And the word says not to. So when somebody comes in with that like, that like aggression kind of thing, I'm usually like, have you ever fasted ever? Like, have you ever tried that?

And they're like, no. I'm like, life change. I can tell. It's a life changer. So I wonder if you fasting during that season of life actually did keep you beyond going off the edge? Yeah. Like going over to the Tampa Bay Bridge before they had the fence over it and just going for a dive. That never crossed my mind, but I will tell you, man, it's, it is like.

That's too much, yeah. It's too much. Like, Heather has said stuff to me, like she thinks because, I think she has said it like this. I think me getting older has toned me down. I'm like, no, that's not it. Like going to one job. One job has helped me.

It's a huge factor. We're not supposed to be spread that then. It's like when Sarah was asked, like telling me yesterday, I was like, how do you get all these things out? I was like, I don't have two full-time jobs. Right. Yeah. So I can do a lot.

Or in her eyes, I can accomplish more at home. because I'm not being pulled anywhere else. You know what? It was so funny. I had a friend. I was just thinking about this this morning. I had a friend who, like, did nothing. Her kids went to school. She was a stay-at-home wife.

Her husband worked. I, at the time, was doing the church, homeschooling my kids. And I think I did part-time something, but I don't remember exactly what it was. Because when I homeschool my kids, I, like, majorly did that. And she would tell me, and her house was only 200 tops, square feet bigger than mine. She would say to me, I have to break it up. I have to break up my house in sections and clean it because it's, and it won't cleaner than mine.

But, and it wasn't deep cleaning she was doing, but she goes, it's just too much. And I thought to myself, I homeschool my kids. I have to do the church. and whatever else I was doing and I get my house done in one day like must be nice I'm like what are you talking about it's the mentality of people though

like how much they can handle and I'm like oh my gosh everyone has a different capacity and they used to say to me I could never do all that you do and I'm like you really can what do you put your mind to if you know you have to do something

then you should be able to do it. But then there are us that are like, I just can't. I'm like, I just have never been that person. I've never been a person that looked at something and said, I can't. It's like, I can't. Let me figure this out. Yeah, because your capacity is larger than, let's say, like, your friends. I don't know.

And it's a pair of the talents. Like, he gives according to your ability. Like, to some, he gave 10. To others, he gave five or three. I don't know it verbatim, but he gave it according to their ability. I think it's to their faithfulness. Or maybe it is their ability. I don't know.

Maybe you're right. Yeah. And then they prove themselves. Right. And then it's what you do with what is given to you. So if you, because I also believe that even if you have a smaller capacity, there is opportunity to grow your capacity by being a good steward. Yeah, he who is faithful with a little, will be faithful with much.

So that's true. Yeah. That is true. Uh-huh. But you have the choice, right? You can either stay and bury your talent and do nothing with it. Yeah. And what was given to you is then taken away.

Or do you can increase? I don't know can't. And that's your default. Figure out how to do it. With Hope's default is I'll figure it out. And her default probably is not. That's why you got the 10 talents. Yeah.

Or the 10 jobs. that I wanted to commit suicide or kill somebody it's really not I wasn't going to kill me that's going to kill somebody else whatever's in my path like my kids I'm taking you out there's one too many of you

some days there might have been too too many too many exactly but yeah life is it's funny like that that's funny though interesting I am getting my vision back oh good it's getting less blurry it's still blurry but musketeers that's what it is oh my gosh the sugar gosh i don't know if it was i don't know if it was natalie or who who did i tell you that told me

it was my blood sugar that that caused me to have that problem when i did the last i don't remember but you did say somebody told you which i didn't know that could do that to you i was like oh my gosh i never even thought about that i just thought i was very hungry like you're so hungry you can't think exactly your brain needs fuel yeah yeah yes it does and the brain needs water too which i just learned and i don't drink enough of it i drink it with stuff oh that's not that's not that's not drinking it first ingredients first ingredients water okay it's fine is it you do you not drink water tracy i do because i'm very thirsty i can't wait a minute i'm not talking about it in the middle of night

diet coke is 90% water diet coke is 90% water so it does count no it does not it has salt in it oh yeah chat salt's good for you guys into my water does that count if i doesn't count yours doesn't count i i started doing what tom does he um drinks um like a teeny tiny tiny bit of gatorade with the rest of it water and then you get your electrolytes yeah because a lot of it you need All sugar and gatorade. You can't just drink plain water. You can't. You need minerals.

Yeah. Yep. So many rules. I don't like them. I know me either. But I do like water. That's good. So that's not a problem for me.

You apparently do not. I just don't get thirsty. That's my problem. I don't get thirsty. So I forget. I just don't. It's boring. And then my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.

And then you go, oh. I think I'm dehydrated. Not a lot of. I don't know if anybody wants to hear our opinions or learn a daggum thing from us because I'm not quite sure you would. You might leave stupider than you came in. Probably. That's okay. We're going to do something new next season.

What is that? We're doing something new next season. Yeah, no questions. You might be dumber. You might be dumber. Join us next year. Join us next year. Yeah.

So funny. So we were talking about joy. Yes. And we're going to finish up on joy. I love it. And there's many facets to it. about being joy but i'm going to catch you up to where we kind of left off which is stay connected staying connected with people who bring life yes okay i love that because i'm telling you

right now isolation i was just telling somebody this this morning isolation is the devil's workshop yep and iron sharpens iron and that's good and everything and you need to make sure that the iron that you are sharpening with is actually the same mindset as you. You have to have people who believe the same way or extremely close. I mean, do I have non-Christian friends? Yeah, not very many. Like, are they like really close to me? Nope, nope.

And the word is very clear on that, that you shouldn't. Bad morals corrupts good character. So don't have anybody very close in your life that's not saved. You can have acquaintances and people that you socialize with on a smaller scale. But everybody who is very close to you are in your sphere. Like I would say my life is very similar to biblical. Okay, Jesus had 12 disciples. They were close to him.

But then he had three who were very close to him. And I would say I try to replicate that in my life. And even one of those 12s was a backstabber, okay? Because that's life. That's how life is going to be. You're not going to have everybody who stays in your life is going to stay in your life. Like people are going to come and go and people are going to like, excuse my language, but screw you over and you've got to be able to handle it.

That's like putting yourself out there. That's life. And you can't allow them to ruin your life by. whether or not they stay, you know, loyal or whatever, but you have to put yourself out there and you have to, like, be a person that's picky and choosy. Like, I am very picky about who I allow in my inner circle. Like, and usually it takes a very long time for you to get in my inner circle.

And the reason why is I like myself. And I am not just desperate for anybody. So I watch, I observe, and I say, pros and cons. I mean, most people don't do this, but when you pick somebody to be in your life, you should go, what is this person's pros and what is this person's cons? And if the pros far away and you can't do it when you've only known them for two weeks, I know them is what people have told me. I know them.

I'm like, you don't know them. You don't know anybody until you've been friends with them or allowed yourself to be around them for at least six months. I say four seasons. But I'm not talking about relationship. Say sometimes, sometimes friendships are like that. I'm not really one to let people come in real fast unless it has been years. But I will socialize with you, but I don't even socialize with a lot of people. I won't go out with people to dinner unless I really like you, unless it's a work thing for me.

Then I will. But I have to really like you to spend my off time with you. It's got to have some value. But you got to weigh pros and cons. Oh, my gosh. Somebody's texting me. Sorry about that. Sorry, I thought it was something else.

There's pros and cons, and you need to be picky. Do their pros far outweigh their cons? If they do not, then you do not. I wish people would understand their value. unless you're a negative and you have more cons, then you're not going to understand your value because you choose to be lesser of who you should be. And until you become a quality person,

you're not going to attract quality. And that's the facts. But I mean, for me personally, and I would think I can speak pretty honestly and transparent about both of you guys. Like you have a lot of people, you know, there ain't a lot of people that you would go on vacation with. True.

See, that's how you know. Like, if I'll go on vacation with you, or I would say more so my husband. My husband will go on a trip with you, then you're probably pretty special because he's so particular about who we have in our inner circle. Yeah. I mean, those people are going to know the ins and outs of you. Right. And they can't use that stuff against you.

Right. And a lot of people will. Like later on, if you tick them off, then they're going to be like, whatever. So I'm turning this off. Sorry. What do you say? Agree. Yeah.

You become the average of the people that you surround yourself with. Yeah. Pretty much. And it's biological. We have these things called mirror neurons in our brain. Oh, here we go. Literally. I love this.

It's true. It's true. Keep studying. Keep studying. I love this. So the people that you surround yourself with, you start picking up their mannerisms. You start picking up their, like, inside, like, that's why you have inside jokes. You start picking up these things.

I find myself saying some of the things that my friends say. And so it's biologically, we have these mirror neurons that will do that. So when you know this, you need to be extremely. extremely picky with the people you surround yourself with because do you want to be picking up toxicity or do you want to be picking up faith you got to choose yeah because you know one of the things i i have in here is iron sharpens all iron but if you are iron your iron is sharpening with something dull like and there's a lot of dull blades out there yep and that will ultimately affect you your iron what you're sharpening yourself against will eventually you won't be sharp

you'll become like that very thing is it worth it i don't think so not for me not for me right i like having accountability i like knowing that if there's something that someone sees then they're like i don't i don't know if you notice this but this has affected you or if you do this this isn't the smartest decision or like that's wrong you shouldn't have done that way um that's one of the things that i absolutely love about tom that um he is quick to correct so that it betters me yeah and there's a right way and a wrong way but i mean he is very quick to correct just because like if i say something that isn't faith-based or he's like out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks like make sure those words that you're saying

they don't return void just like the word doesn't so they have a return make sure that return is something that you want to receive and I'm like it's so true and it's not being with the word police it's actually being someone that it cares enough about you that the reaping and sewing is like super important that what you're going to receive is something that's worth something instead of detrimental. And I just, I don't know, like, even there are things that when I have to handle something church-wise, he's great at giving really good advice on, I'm not telling you, I'm not telling you you have to do it this way, but I'm saying to you, if you did, this might be the better alternative.

like all those things if you have really good counsel they just make you better like you have to be teachable you have to be humble you know speak truth and love all those things and that makes you a really good friend but then it also if you're able to receive all those things it makes you also a really good friend yep yeah for sure yep i don't know so be picky be picky be very you're worse something like a lot of times people always are concerned about who they marry but i'm like be concerned about who you're friends with as well because that that's a reward that keeps on reaping as well right like and discernment is like huge like i'm not the norma always corrects me she's like you're very discerning but i don't think like because i have a lot of people who are

very discerning like way their discernment is way leaps of and bounds ahead of mine. But learn to be, learn to use your discernment because you know, you know when it's like, this is not right. This does not sit right. This isn't right, you know. Learn to be very discerning in that. Or discerning in relationships.

Because there have been times that you think that, oh, this is a great person. And then something just, the Holy Spirit will click in. And then later on, you realize, they were a fraud. God. Do you know what I'm saying? I do. Yeah, I do. You want to add? I watch people's patterns. So somebody like there's like things on Instagram that say like, you know, when people show you who they are, believe them. And that is true to like to an extent. But if you watch people's patterns over time, eventually you can kind of like see the sum of it. And so if like nine at 10 times when something goes wrong they act this way then you kind of know what to expect from

certain people and if you can't if you don't have the capacity to handle you know the way that they react then how close can you get to them so there's just like there's certain things that I just pay attention to and and that's that's guided me well with friends um you know some people like are real quick to talk about somebody else and or they're real quick to turn their back if somebody hurts their feelings or oh interesting that's that is actually keep going that's very interesting yeah or like if somebody lets them down it's they're real quick to like it's just the it's the quickness of it you can see there's not a lot of grace so if there's a certain person that like really has a hard time showing people grace then i'm like i'm just cautious because like i know i need grace like i'm forgetful

i have a lot of my plate i like things i have a family i have to put certain things first and so you know if I like don't respond to a text message right away like I tell people like listen I'm doing my best and so if it's really important call me even though I don't love phone calls I'll know it's really important yeah and so there's just certain things and then when people understand like then I give them that same grace if they don't respond to me right away and it's really important then I call them or I text them and say hey this is urgent like just let me know when you get it um but I don't know I just I gauge people like based off patterns yeah and if they're talking about other people with you that's i usually like take up like i make a mental note of that right because that means

they'll do the same they are about me they are with other people they are they are 100% are yeah yeah and you know it like you said you know it and so yeah um yeah i just i watch patterns with people that is such a great thing because a lot of people don't know how to pick right that is a great little tool to put in your tool belt and you can't you can't like if you you you Let's say, like, you have, like, a box over here for, like, people that, like, just have shown they're not trustworthy. You can't, like, keep them in there forever. You have to keep watching because people do, most people don't change, but some people do.

And so, like, as much as you wouldn't want to be stuck in a situation, that just because, like, and you've been really, like, Vanessa's over here learning about her brain and all that stuff. And then, like, she messes up one time. We're like, up, see, she has no idea what she's doing. Right. And then you can't do that to people. It's not, there's no extreme. And so, but it is safe to put somebody over here knowing that they weren't trustworthy.

in five situations at a six and so just be cautious of that like it doesn't mean that you turn your back to them like you said you can have acquaintances you can still disciple people but just like maybe you're not spending every waking moment texting them and checking on them or you're not sharing stuff with them if they've proven they're not trustworthy be very cautious of what you're sharing with somebody yeah you know I never even thought about that because that's a great guide for people because there are a lot of people like for me like I look at those things but I would never have to tell people I use my discernment like if I feel like somebody's not being honest or you know somebody's being exaggerative if somebody is talking about somebody behind their back right and but they're doing it with me right um like I there are specific things that I look at like if somebody is trying to manipulate a situation I instantly if I don't know you that well and and I see all of these different signs, I'm like, this is not good. Right. Because I question, first of all, I question how deep of a walk they actually have.

Should be able to do that so easily. Right. But secondly, secondly, I sit there and go, well, I definitely won't want this person to be my friend. Because for me, trust is the number one thing for me in any and every relationship. And if I can't trust you, we're not going to be friends. That's number one. And trust, it revolves around so many different parts of your life from, do I trust you financially? Do I trust you personally with personal information?

Do I trust you with my family? I mean, there's so many people don't understand. Trust is like the core to every single thing in a relationship. when you trust somebody too like you you're even your mental space is clear because you're not constantly thinking like when you say something you're like oh crap what if they tell or what if they thought like it's just when you trust somebody yeah it's just like easy like i never like when i tell vanessa something um that maybe i need her to pray for me like with me about something yeah my personal information yeah i'm not like oh no like go to bed at night like what if she tells somebody else

and what if they find out and what if they think this like there is no mental, like, confusion or frustration or whatever it is, space that I'm, I just trust her, you know? And you don't have to tell everybody everything either. Like, it's okay. Like, Vanessa doesn't know every single thing I'm going through and we're very, very close. And I don't know everything she's going through.

And that's okay. It is. It's okay to just you and your husband or you and God work things out together. That's okay. Yeah. It's so, because here, and then the thing is, is people are going to, I mean, the closer they are to you, the more they're going to know. Right.

And people forget about them. that. They totally forget about that. If people live with you, they know you real well. Yes. And you've got to like make sure that that stays. My parents used to always say this when growing up, whatever happens in these four walls stays in these four walls. It's not because they were beating the crap out of us and they didn't want anybody to know. It's because we're a family. And what our family is either exposed to or deals with, whether it be, it's, Sometimes my parents were in ministry to certain extent, and they had different people that they were either talking to or helping with

or ministering and disciplining, and we would walk in and we would hear things. And I'm like, that needed to stay in the house. That was private personal business. And sometimes whatever happens in your family should stay in your family. The world doesn't need to know about it. So the closer people are and they come and go in and out of your house, the more they are exposed and the more information they get i have a pastor who's pretty i mean i have a pastor who said who um who said to me one time about another pastor that the more they've allowed people to

live in their home uh those people that live in their home and they helped disrespect or lose respect for them and then they bash them afterwards. And it's like, that's because they got to know them too well. And they realize they're real. They're real people. Yeah. They're normal. You know, you got to trust people that they, after they find out that you're real and

you're normal, that they're not going to bash you behind your back. If you own a business, you know what I'm talking about. Your employees, the closer they get to you, oftentimes, they disrespect you. am I wrong ladies you're not wrong it's crazy but but the truth of the matter is is the closer you get to people the more your the love and the respect should grow that is not the way it works to be very picky and very choosy and when you see signs like signs of manipulation signs of untruths being spoken you know if somebody's telling you the truth or not ask questions man like if you know that they're talking about somebody else behind their back like confront that

and say you know what that's a sign that like I don't know if that's good first of all it's a sin second of all I mean if you're trying to get close to me that's not the way to do it I mean you got to be honest you know me that's true I would say it yeah only because later on when people are like you've distanced yourself I'm going to be like yeah yeah there's reasons and I don't want to know so like don't tell me. I know. Oh my gosh. I will, if God wants me to know, I will find out. I always do. Because whatever's done in the dark will be exposed in the light and people don't know that. It is. It's going to come out. It is going to come out. It always does. Like what you were saying about like things happening in families. Like people, families have things. They go through things

and then they resolve it. So that's why it doesn't need to go out to the whole world. It's the same with you and your friend. Like if you and your friend are having issues, it's going to get resolved. So I'd first rather not know tell me that you guys are having a great day like tell me everything's good now and and and i but i don't want to get involved in everybody's drama like honestly i don't care because i either either it'll resolve or you'll move on and i don't need to know right it always resolves almost always because they're good and then you're left with like oh you just vomited all over yeah exactly right are you 100% yeah exactly and my thing too is is like how many people how many like everybody like you have to say like i don't think like tom tom doesn't think like me right thank

god um when you're when you're married um you you you become one but you do still have differing opinions how you resolve those differing opinions sometimes like isn't perfect and it should be because the word tells us to not argue grumble and complain and you know all that other stuff it should be perfect but it's not and so um that should stay private because but if we all thought alike we'd be in big trouble yeah so like keep the personal information personal like and when you fight with your spouse you don't need to tell everybody because you might be destroying that person's character if you're a husband and you're bashing your wife to somebody later on you're going to resolve that with your wife and then your friend's going to have an opinion about her and you're

not going to be able to you love her that person doesn't love her and you're not going to be able to correct that right right it causes wedges oh yeah be very careful yep because people are people at the end of the day so give joy away back to what we're talking about but if you think about it. If you follow all this information and all this advice, you'll find joy. It leads to joy. It will lead to joy. It will lead to joy. Because you'll have great people in your life. And if you have people that are talking bad about you and you start removing them from your life, guess what? Your life's going to become more joyful. And K.I. And dramatic. Yeah, all of it. Stay clear of people who love drama. Literally. Yes. I'm just telling you, people who love drama are not good friends.

And they never will be and they never are. They're fun for a season. And then the drama turns on you. Yeah. So stay away from them. Yeah. And a lot of times people who love drama is because they lack purpose. If you're doing and you're, you know, busy doing kingdom work, you have zero, zero time for drama. True.

No. Like zero. You don't. So find purpose. Yeah. I like that. Well, and you know what? Here's the thing.

You say that, but that's the next thing I was going to say. When you serve others and give generously. Yeah. What does that produce? Joy. Multiply. You will multiply in joy. Right. Okay. Because blessings not only, when you bless others, you're not only blessing them, you're blessing yourself. So if you serve others, if you just get outside of yourself, get away from the drama, and you serve others and you give generously.

And I'm not talking about financial. I'm talking about giving generously. Like right now, there's, going to be a Christmas party and kids rock and we have people back there giving generously of their time that play i'm telling you right now it looks unbelievable back there but they are blessing those kids and not only will they be blessing them they will be blessed by the time and they're having fun back there laughing joking around and enjoying each other proverbs 1125 says the generous will prosper so whatever so these people or whatever seed they're sewing back there is going to come back to them the generous will prosper those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed how many of us need that i mean like we all need

that super important and so like think outside of yourself the a lot of times with christmas we're always thinking about giving a gift but it's not really last night uh Vanessa did the sweetest and kindest thing. I think it was Monday. She sent me a text and she said, what about, what if we did a hope hotline? I said, hear me out. Yeah, because she knows I usually say no. Yeah, hear me out. What if we did a hope hotline Christmas party at my house? And I was like, oh, I like that idea because I don't get to spend a lot of time with these girls outside of, you know, here. And I was like, oh, that would be so much fun. We had, we did not. We did not. nothing. We absolutely did nothing, but sit, eat, laugh, joke around, play a game of

Cahoot, which was super fun and funny. Of course you did. Thank you very much. But we just had so much fun. And literally, there was no monetary value involved outside of the food that was served. Like there's something precious and sweet about back in the day, back in the day, that's all people really cared about at Christmas time is the joy of spending it with their family and friends, you know? And if we really focused on that being the main reason, I think, but this thing right here has gotten in the way so much that we think we are connecting and we are not connecting.

you're absolutely right it's very dangerous it's very dangerous to live a very busy life trying to fit as much as you can in and not really sitting down and being still and quiet not only with your relationship with the lord but your relationship with others face face to face time is way more value has way more value than text to text if that makes sense it absolutely does I don't know there's something very beautiful and special

about it and no gift not one gift can replace that I mean I loved last night that was way better than the towel heater that Vanessa got me for Christmas that's sitting on my desk and listen I'm really excited to use that sucker same but she got one for her

but I'm just saying I could care less Like last night, I'll have way more of last nights than I will, the other stuff. Yeah, especially with like social media and everything is just, like you said, on here, we lose that connection, like that one-on-one connection. And that's something that I'm trying, especially moving forward to do more. Yeah. Yeah. On Wednesday, Jare had the kids at youth tell us. like what's something that they learned from youth or something that really affected them this last year and almost every single one of them

I mean they were like bawling their eyes out especially Emma but like how much that they've connected as friends and that they never knew they could have friends like this and that's a good youth group yeah and like these some of the kids are like I've been around really bad kids before and I finally have found people that like actually care about me and now every single one of every single one and it was about connecting yeah there is and and they mean it they did because they could have said like oh i love that we can talk on the chat together anytime it's not it's it's the connection that they have in person because there's such a lack of it even in their own families oh 100% yes most kids grew up in daycare right so at a very young age they were very disconnected yes yep or they don't have like their families are literally broken apart because mom's not doing well um they're living with grandparents something like it's it's a mess or divorce a divorce or dad's not around or yeah yeah there's a lot of broken families a lot so they just they don't even have that like so when they feel something like one of the kids was saying how like me and jare

are so genuine and a couple of their friends and they're like i just want to be like that but i'm like it's jesus inside of us like it's not me and jare like it's they they're so attracted to the jesus inside of us which is a reflection of our youth group because that's what our youth group's feeling like they're like i didn't know i could have such good friends but it's because these kids literally have Jesus. So they're just reflecting Jesus to each other. And it's so cool. It's just, it's so fun to watch because that is like ninth to 12th grade. Once you start getting to those grades, like if there is that, if there is nothing to like live for, they just start to go their own way. It's a crossroad period. It really is in their life. They can either go down the path

of faith in Jesus or they can go down the path of destruction. Right. and yeah to have i am a product of youth ministry i had an amazing youth pastor um i was connected to an amazing youth group and that's what kept me on the straight and arrow it really did it made a huge huge difference yeah and a lot of times people parents are looking for a youth ministry to save their kid. Yes. And I mean, if it's done right, I see there's a huge youth ministry that is national. And most of the time that ministry is not done right. It's very permissive. It's very unifying. It's like very blended in other Christian denominations. So there's really no strong message provided. I've seen that where it's a hookup and it's a fun time and it's a social gathering and all those people are

they they will tell you it's made a difference in their life and i would say it's not a good difference it's a difference as far as now you have friends you have people to hang out with and always a prospect hopefully around the corner walking in but when you do youth ministry right it is all god driven and it's only challenging people to change right in their walks with god not providing them the worldly goodness and let the you know elks club christian social club yeah yeah which will you save some in that yeah right because god will work all things together for his good but is that the best no it's not it's very permissive very compromising um and and and so So it can be good or a bad.

And a lot of times people will send these people to, like parents will send their kids to this national program thinking, this is great. Let's go. You'll go away for camp for a week or you'll do this. And all you're doing is ushering your kid into a lukewarm walk with God. It's very dangerous. I will say that what you were saying is people see Jesus and you guys. And I'm going to bring it right back to what we're talking. about as far as joy but that is joy like Jesus if you were to look at a mathematical equation

joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit which goes right back to the very beginning of this podcast which was joy is a fruit of the spirit the Holy Spirit and Jesus and God are the Trinity right joy is if you looked at a mathematical equation you would look at joy equals and then Jesus himself, they go hand in hand. It's a spiritual thing that you must do to walk in joy. Joy is not a mood. It is not something that you can just, like, it's not like happiness. Joy is supernatural. There are times in my life where I have been very, very miserable, very unhappy. And then I had to determine, okay, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to make this spiritual? Are you going to make this carnal? And when I made

the right decision, I made it spiritual, which means my attitude had to change. I went from being down in the dumps or focused on my problem to saying, you know what, this is God's, this is not mine and I put on joy and I walked out I walked things out not in the way that my eyes could see them but in the supernatural which is it's already taken care of victory is mine now I can walk in joy I can walk in peace because it's not my problem it's gods right go ahead girls 100% happiness is conditional it depends on the conditions around you and an Joy is unconditional. You can have joy even in the hard moments.

You can have joy even when you're walking through the valley of the shadow of death. And so that's how I kind of like frame it in my head. I rather joy any day of the week. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. I'm going to close with this. I wrote this down.

I'm going to try and paraphrase it. it as best as I can but this is really what it's all about and so um this is I'm going to try and do this okay as fast as I possibly can and then we'll close out I'll do sponsors and then we'll close out the best way that I can but um joy is about perspective Christmas in particular a lot of times people have a very very hard time depending on where what their life circumstances are. We've already talked about them from having a loss of a loved one to financially not having the money to being just in a really bad place.

Sometimes it's spiritual because spiritually you're in a bad place. And so you're like in spiritual turmoil. I've been there, like woke up Christmas morning hadn't had really been so busy that my walk with the Lord felt distance. Okay, that stinks. It's all fixable though. Right. But one thing I would tell you is this is all about making room for Jesus. And a lot of times that's not what we do. But if you remember, when Jesus was born, there was no room for him. And I really thought about this. I'm like, there was no room for Jesus when he came into this world. Think about this.

The first Christmas was unplanned, it was inconvenient, it was humble, and it was disruptive, right? Luke 2.7 says, born in a major, not in a palace. God didn't come to impress the world, but he came to redeem it. And if we keep our focus on what's truly important, then you can't help but to have joy in this season. because it's a celebration about who God is to us and who is God to us. The word says that in Isaiah 714, he says he is Emmanuel, which is Emmanuel God with us. Like so many people with love, they walk around with voids. They're serving and they have all these other religions that they have in their lives,

but none of them bring them peace. I mean, the Muslims are bitter, angry, and hateful. And, I mean, there are Muslims that are not, but I'm saying that religion is one of, if you don't believe like we do, you will be killed, okay? Then it's like Buddha, there's Hindu. None of those had a God that literally came from being rich to poor giving up everything so that we might have everything while we're on this earth

and then after that we have eternity with him after dying for us and raising from the dead in three days no other religion has that we have Isaiah 17 which is Emmanuel God with us what other religion has that none none find joy you have it you have it the word became flesh Jesus became flesh for each and every single one of us John 114 says that for each and every single one of us

Jesus did that he did not have to come down here but you were worthy enough for him to do so it's not about what we give it's about who was given to us do you make room for him that's what I would ask you

and you might say well I feel I feel stale. I feel cold. I feel numb. And I would say to you, it's because just like when Jesus came to this earth, he came to a place that had no room for him but an end, which was actually like the end didn't have room for him. So he had to go to a manger. And the manger wasn't like a barn. It was a cave. And it was cold. it's not you don't get to come to him on your terms that's not how it works your relationship with it with jesus isn't on your terms you don't get to put him in a box and he fits that mold no that's why you're miserable that's why you're unhappy that's why you have no joy in the presence of jesus there is joy evermore isn't that what the word says you're not in his presence you're in your presence

and saying Lord you have to accept my terms that's not how it works you will be miserable you will be cold and you will be a very numb and unhappy because you're not in his presence

because you haven't made room for him so I would say to you this if you want your life to change then you have to change your perspective on everything, everything. And once you open up your life to the way he says it should be, you will have so much joy, so much peace, you will be so full that you won't be able to contain all that he has for you and all that you have to give to others. This is not about just you.

it's about the others that you can touch and we focus so much on ourselves and that's probably one of the biggest problems we as christians have it's give me give me give me when we go to jesus fix that do this give me this it's never lord what can i do for you who can i touch who can i reach it's always about self and as soon as you get outside of yourself and extend yourself create relationship not with just him but with others iron sharpening iron your life will never be the same just like just like jesus came to to save to heal to restore to bring peace you have the same ability jesus said not only will you do what i do but you'll do greater things so you have the ability to offer salvation you have the ability to heal you have

have the ability to help restore and you have the ability to bring peace what are you going to do and once you start operating in those things it's just like the ladies that are back there now working in our kids rock area they are blessing someone else and while they're blessing someone else they are being blessed that's joy right that is joy yep and a lot of times people think it's really about what can you do for me. It's not what you can do for me. It's what can I do for you. That's joy.

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Oh, my goodness. good. You look good girl. Hey girl. That brings joy. That's her new Facebook profile pick. Oh my gosh. That's flipping funny. So while I'm over here preaching. Yes. That's what she's working on. She's making her Facebook profile. Yes. So I'm not going to ask you what you think or what you, because you probably don't even know what I was saying. Yeah. Jair had something. He was going to pull in the reins for us. Oh, please. So I haven't always been the most joyful person. That's freaking funny girls. And I found that if you don't feel joy, one of the biggest ways to attack it and go against it is to serve somebody else.

Yes. That was a hard lesson for me because I would wake up and just feel like Pastor Tom calls it Molligrub. Molly Grubbs. I call it soupy pants. And I didn't like it. And if you don't like something, you really don't like it, you don't sit in it and you try to change it.

So I found that serving other people are going out and trying to bring somebody else joy, encouraging somebody else has brought me. me out of that funk and I think perspective again is a huge one like you said and seeing what you do have seeing all the blessings and things that God has done in your life that's why it says to think back on those things and that kind of brings you out of it because you can look at what you don't have you can look at the battle that you're in but getting the right perspective that God's always come through he's never let you down and then seeing all the blessings you do have like in Christmas time you can look at what you don't have especially if money's tight or whatever yeah but seeing what

God has come through and done in your life really brings that out. But I think serving other people, like you said, is like hearing those kids really shook me. I mean, it was... Because sometimes you don't even know, because it comes so easy. Yeah. Yeah. When you're serving where God, where your natural gifts and talents are, sometimes

you don't realize that what a powerful impact it's having on other people because it's a God-given gift. Right, right. And a lot of people don't walk in their God-given gifts. Right. And so they're making no impact. And it was funny. I did it for them because you get to a place where you don't need people to tell you how good you're doing and stuff, which is great.

But I wanted them to hear what they're doing for each other. And it ended up rocking my world. And I was like, oh, my gosh. I had to run from Emma, her face. I was like, oh, get out of here. I don't want to cry. She's like her mother, though. She's an easy cry.

If you don't have joy, change your perspective. Go help somebody else. Bring somebody else joy. serve somebody else and it will bring out joy in you. But joy equals Jesus. Remember this. Yes. Because joy equals Jesus. And if you want joy, then you have to be Jesus. And it's like what you're saying, Jared, though. What did Jesus say? I didn't come to serve but to be served. But excuse, I didn't come to be served, but to serve. And to give my life a ransom for many. if you want to have joy

then don't want to be served but to serve and that will radically not only change your life but rock the world around you so powerfully that when you go to heaven you will hear well done good and faithful servant

okay remember you're going to serve others well done good and faithful servant both words come from the same root word yeah that's really good remember joy equals jesus be jesus and then joy will just come so easily you might have to die to your flesh a little bit because we are highly carnal but if you put do that course correction and put yourself right back into the place of no i'm jesus i'm going to act like him i'm going to be him and if you do the things that he did joy will just abound right i love that

you guys. Can't wait to see you at the beginning of the year. I know. I'm so excited. It's going to be great. It's going to be a good year. Good year. Yeah. 2026. Remember this. Just have fun being around people. And here's what I will tell you this. If you can't be around your most favorite people, whether because they don't live in the area, or you've lost them for, you know, because they've gone home to be to heaven in heaven. If you're not able to be around the one that you love the most or the ones you love the most, then make sure you surround yourself with people who will hold you up that will love you through it and iron sharpens iron. So choose wisely your friends and find your friends so that they can be your family. Some of the greatest people around here, they don't get to have Christmas with their families.

of these people that come to this church they have made their church their family you can do that too that's all up to you right you don't have to be in the situation you're in you can change that yes you have the power so love you guys see you Sunday and make sure you are inviting your friends and loved ones because Tracy did not say this in her announcements but Christmas Eve service two services it's going to rock the house We encourage you to register, but you do not have to. Bring your friends, family, and neighbors. Because I'm telling you right now, they will not be disappointed.

It's going, I know that I, I'm Prej, and I'm just telling you. Yeah. This one of my personal favorites. Yeah. This year's one of my personal favorite Christmas Eve services. So, that's it. See you. Bye.

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