The Hope Hotline - Should I Move To The Next Phase With My Boyfriend?

Episode Date: April 9, 2025

The Hope Hotline | S03-E26 | 04-09-2025

Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. Well, hello, welcome to the whole pot line. Today is Wednesday.

Welcome to all the tick tockers out. And welcome to the whole pot line. For all of you on all of our other social media platforms, thank you for joining us today. We have some very interesting questions, but I don't know what they're whispering about over there. But you know what I had, I told Tracy, I was like, I woke up in the middle of the night, like at two in the morning,

and I asked myself this question. Well, it really wasn't me asking myself this question, but I thought of this question, not for myself, which I ended up asking myself this question, but I thought to myself, that's a really good question. So here's the question. Everybody think about this. What if all of your conversations

were posted on social media? So every single thing, every conversation, maybe even the ones you have in your own head. No, maybe the ones that you even have with yourself. But most importantly, what if every conversation you had with somebody was posted on social media? Ouchie. Solid.

Norma asked if it counts. I was wondering if there was like a time frame. And if it counts if you talk to yourself. And yeah, because if I talk to myself, then there's solid. Norma asked if it counts. I was wondering if there was like a timeframe. And if it counts if you talk to yourself. And yeah, cause if I talk to myself, then there's some. So it's funny you said that. Well, if you're talking to yourself, like we'll keep those things private. Okay.

But if you're talking to other people, like what if everything we ever said to someone else was posted on social media? What would that look like? That's frightening. Oh yeah, a lot of like everything we were just talking about people be like are you serious? That's what you guys people are. You're wasting my time. Yeah, you'd be bored. But here's the thing. This is the thing that I think about with that is if,

if your conversations with people like were viewed by others, what would their perception be of you? And then on top of that, you would have to, like a lot of times, have you ever noticed like, remember Duck Dynasty, the show Duck Dynasty, how when they first started out, all of them kind of looked kind of normal. And then as the show got more and more popular,

then they all started carrying, the women especially, started caring more and more about like, what they look like. They started wearing really, they wore a lot of makeup. They always had their hair did, you know, the whole thing. Like you gradually saw how they started, you knew that they were watching themselves and their show because they were like, oh, I don't like how I look

because they started making sure they looked good. Okay. So if you looked at yourself, see, I think that they saw themselves in a light that they thought, that they thought this is what they look like. But then when they saw themselves in reality, they were like, ooh, I don't look that great on camera.

And the perception that they had convinced themselves of wasn't the true perception or the reality of who they really were. Does that make sense? It does. I think that's what a lot of people would do. I think people paint a picture of themselves and it's a portrait that they believe

that everybody else sees and looks at. And that portrait ain't real. Most people, you can try and sell yourself a bill of goods. There's really good car artists out there, really good scammers who can make people believe, the ones with great charm and charisma. And they can usually for a while, full people, but after a while, even they,

people will start going, mm, something smells. This is not adding up. So you're like, I don't think this person is who they pretend to be. I think that's what, if conversations were put on display for all to see, I think people would be very disappointed in themselves, but they'd be very disappointed in, or others would be very disappointed in them as well,

because I think that, I don't think people really, including me, I add my, it's not like I'm saying, point the finger at everybody else. I asked myself that question and I went, well, do I want everything that I say recorded heck to the now, because I like catch myself all the time. Shut your mouth, that doesn't need to be said. Don't say that any further.

And literally people convince themselves of things. Like, I will talk to people, I will talk to people and they will tell me, this is what I do and this is how often I do it. And I have a means and a ways sometimes to say, okay, let's look this up and let's see if what you're saying is actually true. Or not necessarily, I don't phrase it like that. What I will say is let's look this up and let's evaluate this really quickly because what I get isn't the same as what you're getting. But maybe there's something that I don't have that you can show me on your side that proves what you're saying. And inevitably they'll be like, yep, that's the way it is. That's true. That's what I do. And I'm like, okay, well, let's open

up the books and let's see what we got. And 99 times out of 10, when you go to the books, the books don't convey the very thing that the person is trying to convince you of that is true about them. And then you have to sit there and go, well, where's your proof? Because here's mine. Where's your proof? And they're like, well, okay, well, just forget it. Just forget it. And I'm like, no, no, no, let's not forget it.

Just give me your facts. Give me your documents. And they don't never have any, well, nevermind. I don't need it anymore. I don't want, it doesn't matter. And I'm like, why don't we just, instead of saying nevermind, you know what? Just say, you know what?

I was wrong. What I told you, I have made myself believe an untruth about myself and the truth doesn't reveal the same thing as what I'm telling you. So my apologies on that. Whether I meant to do it or not, I wasn't honest. That's the problem. That's the problem. People always want to pretend that there's somebody they're not or believe something about themselves that is not true and that's gonna get you into trouble. Do you guys understand what I'm saying? Am I making sense at all? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. You know it's a good example of

this that show Super Nanny is like they have no idea what's wrong with their kids. Like they're like why why are they so badly behaving? And then you like, we watch it and we're like, what do you mean? Like, what do you, how can you not see it? Right. And Pastor Tom always talks about how everybody has a level of delusion that they just don't,

you just don't see it. Such a great word. It is. Because that's exactly what I'm talking about right now. Is people have given themselves a delusion about themselves. Right. Yep. And it's like...

And a lot of times it's rooted in pride. Always. Yes. Always. Because you think you're like, it can't be me. It can't be me. It's got to be everybody else. But when you see the same patterns in your life, like at some point you got to say like,

all right, I have no friends. Who's the common denominator? Exactly. Who's the common denominator? Exactly. Who's the common denominator? And if it's you. But what's so funny about all of that is everybody wants to, okay, well, it hasn't worked out here, so guess what?

Fresh start. Yeah. Let's do a fresh start. Yeah. The problem is, is you go with that fresh start. So guess what's gonna happen? Same thing. Cause you gotta fix you.

Quit making yourself believe a bill of goods that is just not there. But let alone like your words mean something. So maybe like the Bible says to be slow to speak, but slow to be angry, but also a wise man, a wise man, the foolish utter it's all of all of all of its thoughts, but a wise man is slow to speak. So like the reason why a wise man is slow to speak is because he's thinking about whether or not he should say it. And if I am gonna say it, how do I say this correctly? But most of the time, even the Bible

says, don't talk too much. Be quiet. Because a lot of times we'd save ourselves a lot of heartache. I kid you not, I literally thought to myself, Ooh, I don't know. I think people would probably freak out if their conversations were exposed. I think so. Yeah. Not good. Not good. Not good. So think about that next time. Cause you know who's always right next to you? Jesus. Right. You know who always hears you? Jesus. So you're not hiding from it. Like it's not like, just remember Jesus. So you're not hiding from it. Just remember that. Next time you're having a conversation that's not one

that's building anybody up or making progress, and it's just to get your feels out. Or to entertain you. Remember. And so even sometimes, it's not even to entertain you. It's because you're frustrated. So you vent your frustration or whatever. And sometimes it's like,

why don't you not vent your frustration, but why don't you figure out why you're frustrated? And once you figure out why you're frustrated, why don't you try and figure out how to solve that problem so you're not frustrated? Whether that's like, Tom gets frustrated over things, right? When things don't work,

instead of venting being frustrated over it not working, why don't you just stop, slow down and process what makes this thing operate and work instead of being frustrated, which causes you not to be able to do anything. You can just get mad. But then people do that with people. They're frustrated with people.

Okay, well, don't be frustrated with people. Like for me, when I get frustrated with people, I try and go, okay, why am I frustrated? Is this me or is this them? If it is me, fix me. If it is them, then either I talk to them or I say, I'm gonna just hope that it works out or I'm just gonna leave them alone.

Or it could be both. It could be you and the other person. Then you just try and figure it out to the degree. It can be figured out and then you move on and shut up. Yes. Because sometimes the other person doesn't want that you're frustrated with, doesn't want it to be fixed. And so round peg square hole.

True. Stop. Don't frustrate yourself when they don't want, if they don't want it, then you don't pursue it. Like, wait, because sometimes time has a way of healing itself. True, absolutely. You know how Pastor Tom says there are Bible verses that he wished wasn't in the Bible?

Yeah. This one is mine, okay? You ready? Yeah. It's is mine. Okay. You ready? Yeah. So Matthew 1236. And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. Yikes. Yeah, I pulled up the whole chapter. And like even the way it starts is make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree

bad and its fruit will be bad for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You have you brought a vipers. How can you who is evil say anything good for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of a good man brings good things of the good stored up in him and the evil man brings evil things of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give an account on the day of judgment for every empty word they've spoken or by your words, you will be acquitted

and by your words, you will be condemned. Ouchies. Yeah. And nobody thinks about those things. Yeah. Yeah. That's why Tom's hits gossip so hard. Yeah.

Yes. I mean, I tell people all the time. It's not worth it. Do it. Could you imagine going to hell for gossip? I'd be really disappointed. Well, people will be going for jealousy. Yeah. That too. Being covetous. It's so not worth it. Who cares? Who cares? I know. Like be happy where you're at. Learn to be happy with yourself. Be content, like Paul says. Yeah. In all things. Getting your jollies off of that,

social media is the worst, but getting your jollies off of somebody else going through something difficult or whatever. Like shut up. It's not cool. But that's that. Like, literally it's like, I gotta ask you guys what you think about that.

That would be an ouch you mama though. Yeah, it would be. For me, like that just shows you. I'm a work in progress, but at least I'm trying to work. But I'm honest. Like when I say, I'm not pointing the finger at you, it's coming back at me.

But everybody needs to be thinking about that stuff. It's serious business. It is. Like shut your mouth, people. You'll live a happier life. You get yourself in a lot less trouble the less you talk. And you'll find so much peace too. Like when you're busy doing things that God likes,

you just have more peace that follows you. True. You know? Oh yeah. Yeah. True. It's follows you. You know? Oh yeah. Yeah. True. It's way better. You know what I love? I love it when, and we see this around here all the time,

Tracy talks about it too, but I love it when something goes down and people find out about it. And I don't know how they find out because we don't talk about it. But when people find out about something and they're like trying to talk to other people about it. And they're like, I don't wanna know. Don't talk to me about something. And they're like trying to talk to other people about it. And they're like, I don't wanna know.

Don't talk to me about it. I don't know about it. And I don't wanna talk about it. That's really good for the person that wants to talk about it. It's a good lesson learned. And then for the people who didn't say anything, it just shows their trustworthiness and who they,

if they're really a good friend and they don't go around and talk about something, then those people know that's a really good friend. They knew something about me and they didn't say a daggum word. Cause that's what I think when I, people know stuff and they don't say anything, I sit there and go, well, I'm going to trust that person.

Because they don't talk. It does matter though. I mean, it really shows your character. It really, really does. And it's not common either. So be an uncommon people. You know? Yeah. Be uncommon.

It confuses people. It does. And then they're intrigued. Well, plus you're more treasured and valued. You are, of course. When somebody knows they can trust you beyond, like that you're not gonna go and run, you know something and you're not gonna go

and run around to all your friend group and talk about it. Right. Because adults do this all the time. I was talking to, I think Talia was there. I was talking to somebody about this. I was talking to somebody about this and they were saying how in young people, it's very common, which it is common in young people.

But I find it extremely common with older mature adults that are retired. Because what's happened is, is they have no job, right? So they don't go to work every day. So now what do they fill their thoughts, their minds and their communication with? Other people, other things, cause there's not, the older people love to talk

about other people. Whereas if you had a job, you're busy about that job. You have a goal, you have an aspiration, right? To get to the next level. Now on your job, are you potentially talking and gossiping and trying to climb the ladder and backstabbing? Yes, but it's a lot of times it's a lot less gossip than people who have nothing to do all day.

True. Yeah. And I find a lot more people in the older, more mature run and smack than a lot of times they see the younger. I mean, everybody does it, but to the degree it happens, I think it's a lot less to a certain extent. So, I mean, am does it, but to the degree it happens, I think it's a lot less to a certain extent. So, I mean, am I wrong about that?

No, you're not wrong at all. I mean, gosh, man, you go to a, if you live in Florida, if you're watching TikTok, we live in Florida, right? So here in Florida, there's so many, it's, I mean, listen, it's God's waiting room. It really is, it's God's waiting room. It really is, it's God's waiting room. And so all the older people live in these communities that they all live in these same communities

and they don't like their 55 and older communities or their communities. And if a young person moves in, they pretty much do whatever they can to get them to move out to make the most uncomfortable as they possibly can. So they move out with their kids because they don't want the noise, they don't wanna deal with,

but these people have parties and all they do is get together and they go on walks and all they do is run each other down. I've worked in them. It's bad. It's not good. They are constantly talking about each other and then seeing each other at night going,

Hey, how you doing? Such frauds. Yeah. So you wanna do your thing and then we'll- I do, I do. All right, so if you, I'm gonna have to add TikTok on here. So if you are watching live on Facebook,

you can do all your things. You can like, share and comment. Let us know who's watching. I see you guys on there. So let us know who's watching I see you guys on there so let us know we got it on Foundation Church's Facebook page and the whole pot line we are live streaming on both we are also available on YouTube right now so if you're over there you can subscribe if you're watching the replay you can just write down in the comments that you're watching the replay if you're watching live on YouTube come on over to rumble because that is where

the conversation is going. And we would love to see you over there. I'm going to add a little link to make it super easy on you. That is the exact one that is live right now. So head over there. If you want, you can always go to Black Rope as well. If you're listening to the replay or if you are struggling on Rumble with ads and stuff

like that, because I know they've been a little bit crazy lately, if you're not paying for the subscription, you can head over to all the other options that we have for you. Obviously, we have the audio podcast that's available, too. So if you're just driving and you can't watch us, or if you're cleaning and can't just sit down and watch for the whole episode, you can go and listen.

Put it in your little AirPods and go on your day. It'll be available later on. And of course, everywhere that you can get audio podcasts, put it in your little AirPods, and go on your day. It'll be available later on. And of course, everywhere that you can get audio podcasts, it's available. We need your questions, so send them in to askhope at hopehotline.com. And yeah, just send in anything, anything you want. Just a reminder, Natalie comes on at the end of every month

now, so you can send in the same or those different questions, the medical questions, or anything for Natalie Natalie you can send that into the same place askhope at HopeHotline.com we have our merch available you can't go to you can't send that into askhope at HopeHotline.com you have to go to foundationchurchfl.com click shop or if you are actually visiting our church foundation church you can come into the merch store and we have that stuff available as well you can follow us on Instagram and you can follow the Hope hotline on TikTok and Hope has her own TikTok as well and we are moving on up and that is

pretty much what we've got on there. What Hope is doing on her TikTok is very different than what we do here. So you'll want to go check out that stuff and join in the conversations over there. It's pretty some pretty funny stuff. That's funny and random and crazy. And like, what? Like, what are you getting yourself into? So she's always in a different spot. Always, always.

And the church, she's always somewhere. See, thank you. in a different spot. Always. Always. In the church. She's always somewhere. I've never thought of that spot. See? Thank you. Oh. And then the question she answered is like once somebody was like dating or wanted to or fell in love or had crush on their daughter's teenage boyfriend.

Oh yeah, that one was. That one was special. I was like what the crap. Was special. So you've got to go here. That is so freaking nasty though. Yeah, it's so gross. Okay, so Hey crap? What's special. So you've got to go here. That is so freaking nasty though. OK, so hey, it's Hope01. So make sure you go over there.

Come back to us. And we're live on TikTok. So we're live on the Hope Potline TikTok. And Hope is live on hers as well. So hi, everybody that's on the Hope Potline. And I don't know who's on Hope's over there. So if you can hear me, hi. I don't know. I don't even know how you can tell. Yeah, I know. It's too far away. I can't know who's on Hope's over there. So if you can hear me, hi. I don't know.

I don't even know how you can tell. Yeah, I know. It's too far away. I can't see it. Yeah, so we'll be able to go back in and we'll check out all the analytics later on because that's super fun. But Hope, have you seen the new action figures?

Oh. Well, no, I really haven't. You told me about these action figures, but no, I have not seen them. I don't know what the heck outside of your husband's who looks like a god. He was showing. So JR was showing me actually, I probably should have pulled his up too. But JR JR was showing me this person that was doing them and I'm like, oh, they're making

those. He's like, yeah, it's AI. And I was like, wonder how somebody's doing it. So another person I followed put the prompt and you put it into, of course, chat GPT, our bestie. So they gave you the prompt and you put the prompt in and this is what it came up with. So Hope, this is you.

Oh my gosh. Okay, that's a 200 pounder right there. Okay, we're gonna do- That doesn't even look like me. We're gonna do Vanessa next. There's Vanessa. Heather, I mean, Heather, Tracy, that doesn't even look like Vanessa.

Vanessa looks fat. Look what's there. Listen, I don't choose how thick they make you. It's chat GPT, okay? I'm not mad about the hips. Vanessa, do you see what you have with you? Hold on. Oh, a tambourine?

Did you put a tambourine in there? Yeah. And then what's the first one say? Can you see the Bible? It's the Abide Bible. Okay, Vanessa. Vanessa, for the first time in your life, you have a rack. Yeah, I know, I know.

I'm not mad about this. I am not mad about this. You are not thick like this. No, I'm not. I don't know why I gave you an extra shoe either. Why is she so thick? It just does what it wants. I mean she has a gut even. She doesn't have a gut.

Dear God. Oh my gosh. Who is that freak? Mom! That does not even look like you. That's Norma. She's so fat. She's healthy.

I've worn it a thousand more times this year. She's very healthy. Oh my gosh. That, oh my gosh. There's Talia. Why does she look so fat? She's so skinny. Okay, listen.

It's just, it's a healthy version of, these are action figures. They're not skinny. They have to go fight a war. Okay, lastly, I made it all the way in. My feet made it in. Some of you guys, your feet were like all over the place, but I've got my son in.

That's important. I got a rockstar energy drink that I never drank and two AirPods, which is funny because I do always lose them all the time. I always lose my AirPods. So I really appreciate that. You've got big boobs in this thing too. Thank you.

What's up with that? Thank you, I'm very. And thick legs, you don't even have thick legs. I know. She got a rash. She be doing them squats. And I feel short. I look like a freaking doble lube.

I do feel short. Okay. That is not, I think mine and Norma's is the worst. There's Sarah, that's Sarah. Oh, did you tell Sarah to look? No, cause I thought she was gonna be here. But look at their face, like the faces freak me out. Cause I'm like, that's not Sarah.

That is so not even. Okay, and lastly in 2D, cause 2D's actually was like the cutest. Okay, it doesn't look like her, but it actually is the cutest. But it's not scary. I look like a transgender boy. I'm telling you right now, yours is really bad, Norma. Mine's the worst. You guys also put me in the worst outfit.

I know, I was like, what's up with that outfit? I look like Vanessa as a kid in my freaking pantsuit. Vanessa's gut. What is up with the gut? You don't even have a gut. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It was Chachi VT. Yeah, they did. My first one literally made me cross-eyed and fat. It did. What do you think I look like?

Her mouth was like, it was so scary. Look at me one more time. Okay, we're looking at Norway again. Okay, here we go. What is my... Actually, she has a better nose than me. What is my face? And my arms are red.

I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more fat. I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more fat. I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more fat. I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more fat. I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more fat. I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more fat. I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more fat. I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more fat. I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more fat. I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more fat. We didn't, what is my, actually she has a better nose than me. But like, I don't, like I don't,

what is my face? And my arms are so long. Gosh, I look scary. She's gonna be haunting me. One arm is longer than the other. We can see the picture still, you can't. But Norma, you look like this. I look like a monkey.

Look at me. I'm like. Oh my God. These aren't supposed to be like. These are action figures. Yeah, but I've seen action figures. At least the people look decent. And my forehead is a football field well.

That's subjective. Look at my forehead, a football field well. That's subjective. Look at my forehead. I'm half bald. Oh my god. I have a receding hairline. She's struggling. She's very busy saving the world. I think Chai GBT likes pretty people.

Those are Tracy's words. What is that? I don't think Chai GBT likes pretty people. They don't. They make you not look cute. So anyway, so that was our fun for the day. I should have done Natalie. Natalie would have been fun too.

Natalie probably would have ended up pretty with her hair. I'll bring hers on. I'll bring hers on. I don't think anybody's pretty in these things. No. And Jare looks like a stranger. Like he just freaks me out.

Like Jare, I was like Jare. Dude, you're not gonna use that for business, are you? He did. Dear God. His leak hair one is scary. Their faces freak me out. So, how did they, if anybody wanted to do this hero thing that's watching on any of the platforms, what are they go, where do they go to to do that?

Chat GPT. And what do they type in? They've got to type in a prompt. So I'm going to have, yeah, can you figure out maybe go into rumble on your, on your app and just copy paste? Yeah. Put in the prompt. So I'm gonna have, yeah, can you figure out maybe go into Rumble on your on your app and just copy paste? Yeah. Put in the comments. So if you're not on Rumble, go get an account. Exactly. Make an account on a Rumble. Yeah. And go to the whole pot line. Correct. And then it'll be in the comments. And some of you are like, I don't want to know that that's bad enough. I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to know it that bad either. Yeah, if you do. Yeah, yeah. If you do it, put it in your Instagram

story and tag us and I'll share it. Oh, that would bad either. Yeah, if you do, yeah, yeah. If you do it, put it in your Instagram story and tag us and I'll share it. Oh, that would be awesome. We'll share everybody's heroes or whatever. Yeah, if you tag us, we'll put it on there. Oh my gosh. We'll put it on the show on Friday. Ooh, okay.

On Friday and we'll post it on the story. Okay. Yeah, we can post it on stories. I would love that. I'll do it on. That's too long. What is? It won't be too long. For a comment? Yeah. No! Okay. Okay, then'll do it on. It's too long. What is? It won't be too long.

For yeah. No! Okay. Okay then just do it on Instagram. Yeah, I'll put it on Instagram. Put it on Instagram and that way we can see it at least. Yeah. People can figure it out.

I know you probably can find it easily at this point. I wonder if I just, I'll do it. Or if you just text one of us, we can just send it to you. Yeah, DM the whole pot line to each other. Oh yeah, yeah, okay. Send me the prompt. Okay. Yeah, send the prompt. Send the prompt. The more difficult yeah, yeah, OK. Send me the prompt. OK. Yeah, send the prompt. Send the prompt.

The more difficult it gets, the fewer the people are going to do this, and I do not blame you. So I'll expect nothing. Just research it. I'll expect nothing to be posted on Friday. You can get the prompt. Yes. I'll find a way to do it.

We'll just go to the next question. OK. And I'll work. Let us do the first question. I love that I'll do, I'll work. Let us do the first question. I love that though. That was pretty funny. That was so funny, so funny. Okay, so how do you work through people who consider,

who you consider friends coming in and out of your life without it affecting you? I, you know, like I'm 57 and I'll be 58 next month. And people, I mean, all my life people have come and gone. If you're, grow up in a military home, which I didn't, then you know people come in and out of your life for forever and you're probably being more specific to someone or something, but I'm just gonna tell you,

like, let's think about this. When you're in elementary school, like I grew up in, I grew up in Virginia, right? And so I lived there from my fourth grade year all the way until I was like 24. So and I went to this, I went to school with all the same people from elementary school all the way to graduating. So I didn't have to move around. My parents, like we moved to a place that we stayed there. And that's where we, you know,

so I grew up with these people. Vanessa, didn't you, you grew up in the same neighborhood your whole life, right? So you didn't like, you didn't like move around. Tracy, you grew up in the same area pretty much, right? So everybody you went to elementary school with, you grew. Okay, so you're like me, right? But here's the thing, even though,

and I make this to a point, military people, people that are in the military, their kids grow up and they move from place to place to place to place to place. They're like what they're called like gypsies nomads, right? They are used to making friends, losing friends, making friends, even ones that they absolutely loved. But even still people like us three, they grew up in the same town,

went to school with the same people. Like people came in and out of our lives constantly. Some moved away, some got pissed off, some got hobbies, some took up sports, some of the things you just like end up going two separate ways. That's life. Yeah. Sometimes you outgrow people too.

Like life is nobody, I don't know anybody in my whole, I mean, I have two girlfriends from high school that I'm still, that I love and I'm still friends with. But that's about it. Like I've known you for over 10 years. I know I've known a lot of people that I've known for like 20 plus years, right? But most of the people in my life have come and gone.

I would dare say that's the same as you. Yes. Like that's life. I mean, and to expect it to be different than that, it's not realistic at all. I mean, people are gonna come and go out of your life. And while they're there, you enjoy them and you have fun. And you have fun.

And you have to know in your mind that at some point, the likelihood of them still being around is slim. Yeah. For the record though, I'm not going anywhere. Well, I mean, I think we pretty much longevity has proven that, but I'm just saying, but that's not, that's not normal. Yeah, it's not normal. It isn't normal.

I mean, like Norma and Tayah, I mean, Norma and Tayah have been friends, I don't know. Six or seven? Yeah, but you guys are very young. So, I mean, that's not even normal. Then you got your daughter who is what? How old is she? 10.

10 and she's been friends with the same kids at this church for however long. I mean, can they grow up together? Yeah, but they're like, I've had friends where I had kids, they didn't have kids and then they ended up having kids and we're not friends anymore. It's not because, and we stay friends with them a long time after they had kids,

but their kids started having sports and doing different things. And their life took a different direction, went a different direction. That doesn't mean like it's some horrible like, do I miss that friend? Did I miss that friendship? Of course.

But like I wasn't devastated by it not being there anymore or other friends that have been like that. I wasn't devastated. That's life. Life has ebbs and flows. And for me, you guys can say whatever you want after this, but for me, if you focus on the negative, then you're gonna have negative thoughts.

If you focus on the positives, then like your apprehension to have relationships with people will not be there. So a lot of times, what a lot of people do is they like give their heart and they just believe that this person's never going anywhere. Well, that's ignorant. It's not right. I mean, it's not even a possibility.

The possibility of them leaving is higher than them staying. That's the truth. And you should always know that, although you don't want it to be the case, but at some point they could tell you that they're moving away. And you're gonna just have to like take that pill and swallow it and be okay with it.

But you have to focus on the fun times you had. And if you don't, if you always live in the, I wish, And if you don't, if you always live in the, I wish, I knew somebody, I'll use this example. I knew this person that like, because friends had left them, they didn't wanna have any more, they never wanted to have friends anymore. Really, they didn't wanna go close to more, they never wanted to have friends anymore. Really, they didn't want to grow close to anybody anymore

because it was too painful. And I'm thinking, how mature are you? This isn't such an immature thought process. That's just not life. What are you gonna do when your kids grow up? I mean, it's not mature. It's not a mature thought process. And guess what?

This person, their kid has never, like, never gone away. Like, that kid is, like, hunkered down. I don't know if, if the person could handle it if the kid did leave. So, let me, for me, always, always, always focus on the good times. Know that the potential of somebody leaving is there. And even if the relationship broke up because they decided that they didn't like you anymore or they're gossiping about you and you just can't tolerate that,

or again, they have to move away, whatever the reason is that they have decided to separate or they had to go their own way, what you do with that determines the outcome of you being happy, sad, mourning, joyful, or living your best life. I choose to live my best life and know that if somebody leaves, somebody is better coming

along. And that may sound mean, but I don't God is that's how God works. He's not going to take something that you had really great in your life and make it worse. It's going to, if you didn't do anything to cause a breakup or if life took them in another direction because just life takes people in other directions, because that's the way it is. If there is nothing that you did to cause it that you need to learn from, then know that God's bringing somebody else the same equally or better your

way that you're going to have a great time with and make more memories with. I mean, why focus on the sadness? But go ahead, I know Vanessa's got something good. I don't know if it's good or not. But no one should have that much power over you. Like I've even heard Pastor Tom say, like if anything were to happen to you, or if you decided to leave, like his life will go on. Yeah.

And that, I mean, even towards our husbands, really, we should have that attitude. Like no one should ever have that much power over you and how you view the world, period. I agree. Never. I agree. I mean, you love them with all your heart.

That's it. Absolutely. But they don't have your heart. Right. Right. And there is a difference. There is a difference. There is a difference. There's always like a good balance between things.

And I think people just get too far. To one side. To one side. I agree, I agree. I have like friends that I've had for a very, very long time and there are seasons, like I have one friend right now. I don't know the last time we hung out,

but if I called her and I was like, hey, like I miss you, can we hang out? She'd be like, yeah, like when can we hang out? Like, so, but there's no conversation, but there's also no like animosity towards each other. And so I definitely have friends like that. And then, and I have like one of my friends moved all over the world.

And so we would see each other when we could. And it was just like catching up with an old friend, but we're in different places right now. When I was a young mom, like hanging out with friends that were working all day long, it just didn't mesh. But there was no hard feelings. So I'm thinking, like most of the people

that I don't have a relationship right now with that I'd want to have a closer one, it's just because we're either too far and we're just working full time or in different worlds, but I could, like I can go hang back out with them, you know? Like I've left things like where it's not. No animosity. And here's the thing, sometimes there is gonna be,

it isn't gonna be an easy like separation, but even in that staying bitter and angry. Right. Why do that to yourself? Again, go live your best life. I think it was Aaron I was talking to, it might've been Tracy, but, but he and I were talking and he says the best,

and it's not that you're paying somebody back. It's not like I'm gonna show you. It's not that. But the thing is, is when you don't allow somebody to, I say have authority over you, but I love the other term, which is power over you. When you don't have somebody who has the authority over you and like they control your feelings, like if they have a bad day,

that means you're gonna have a bad day. If they have a good day, that means you're gonna have a good day. If they wanna be your friend today, means you're gonna have a good day. If they want to be your friend today, then you're gonna be their friend. But when they don't want to be your friend, you're gonna be down in the dumps. Whatever the case may be. When you just live your best life, living your best life is being successful. And that's one of the things Aaron was saying to me. He's like, the best thing you can do

when something separates and people really want your demise and they want you to feel the effects of them leaving you, like I'll show them kind of thing. The best thing you can do is not let it bother you. And it's not that you're playing that it doesn't bother you. Like it legitimately has no effect on you because it's not that they don't matter. It's just that doesn't matter. I mean, they matter, but what's going on doesn't matter. So I'm not going to give it any attention. Like you made a decision, I have to make a decision.

Guess what? It doesn't matter. Life goes on, case a raw, I have to make a decision. Guess what? It doesn't matter. Life goes on, case a raw, sirrah. And I'm gonna be successful regardless, in or out of my life. Success is coming my way, because that's what my goal is. And when you do that, like... It's a peaceful life.

It's a peace, oh my gosh. There's a trend on TikTok right now. And it's like, imagine hating me and I'm at home and you're like doing something silly. You know what really ticks people off though is, again, imagine hating me. People sit and they literally, that's why the thing about actually,

if your conversations were on social media, like that's where this could go into if I think about it. But think about this, people literally get mad at people, right? The person that they're mad at really doesn't care. It's not that they don't care about the person, but they don't care. They're like, I got better things to do

with my time than this. Right? This is, I don't have time for this. So they're talking to a whole bunch of people, right? Cause they're pissy about whatever they're pissy about. And you're in your pool lounging while they're like, got financial woes or like, whatever's making them bitter, besides you.

Right. Right. Like, cause a lot of times that are people that are like that are bitter about so many things. Yeah. Or they've got so many other problems. Like, it's just, you're just one more thing because life sucks for them. Even though they like to pretend that it doesn't,

but your attitude and everything you say says different. So my thing is, is like, where we're chilling, laughing and having a good time, you're over there, like. Fuming. But you want me to be like you, I'm not doing it. I ain't got time for that. Who cares? Again, it's not that you don't care about the person

because you do, because they have value. But you just can't care about that. And if you stay like that, then there's a chance that the relationship can mend itself. But like for me, if this is, it's probably a chick, but chick, but chick, like don't care. There's plenty, like there's like, we, like,

we always say is like, there's always another bus with another person on it that will get off and will be your friend. Or so, or, or if somebody breaks up with you, if this is a guy that broke up with you and you were just like, listen, there's always somebody hotter. And in my head, I'm like, man, I feel sorry for you because I'm awesome. I always think that I listen, I know that's, I know that sounds cocky, but I literally always think, well, that was their loss.

I'm so funny. Yeah. So fun. Yeah. I mean, that's your loss, not mine. I know it's funny. I still got me. Exactly. And what's funny is usually you attract.

So if you're the type of person that's like always trying to make things work or you're always like, you attract those people. You know what I mean? And like that narcissistic behavior that likes to see people fume because they're fuming, like that's where it becomes really toxic. But when you just don't give the attention

to that like toxic behavior basically, guess what happens? They find somebody else to go do that too. Cause they just want you to like- It always is repetitive. It is. It's always repetitive. If a person's doing that, they will do it to whoever they're doing it with now.

Yeah. Or the people they're doing it with now. Cause the people they're doing it with now. Cause sometimes it's groups, you know? Especially like these partying groups, like these people who like to party together and stuff like that. They always turn on each other. Always. True.

They always do. I mean, it's fun at the very beginning. And then they start picking each other apart. Yeah. Because behavior is behavior. It's always gonna be, I've seen it. I've seen it with these groups. It's just so, I know I'm not talking about church groups.

I'm talking in general, people groups. Seen it plenty of times. Like even back in the day when I partied and stuff. That was a long time ago, but that behavior still existed. One minute we were all happy and happy go lucky and the next minute we were all turning on each other like a pack of wolves. And it didn't take alcohol to do it.

Yeah, not always. No, because people are people. People are people. It's gonna happen. Right. So I say, move on. And it's sad if these people have to move out of your life because a lot of times in like DC area, transient,

like people come and go because they're in a military life. And that's tough, military lives are tough. So if this is because people have come in and out of your life because of jobs and things like that, what you're gonna have to do is just, in your mind, know that I might have this person for a year, but this year's gonna be a great year, and we're gonna have fun.

And you know what? If it ends in a year, then I had a really great year. It's all about what you mentally go into things with. Don't set yourself up for failure, set yourself up for success, and enjoy every freaking day. Cause really every day is up to you, whether it's gonna be a really good one or it's gonna be, I'm just getting by.

I choose not to live like that. I don't care how much is in my bank account. I don't care how many friends I have around me. I don't care if my job is piled on. I don't care if my job is piled on. I don't care. How is today going to be? It's determined by me. And it's gonna be a good day.

I am not gonna let anybody or anything dictate my response. It's not happening. So I hope that that helps you, but I'm in a room full of people who are just like me, because that's how we choose to live. So, I mean, and if you do get mad, use my rule of thumb. My rule of thumb is I give myself 30 minutes. If I get really mad about something, which happens,

but it doesn't happen very often where I'm really, really mad. It happened to me like three times last year. I was really mad. And I gave myself with each of those really, really mad. It happened to me like three times last year. I was really mad. And I gave myself with each of those times 30 minutes. And then after that, I was like, okay, time's up. That's it. That's all you get girl, 30 minutes.

And then move on. I've used it. I like that. What? I said I've used it. You used what? The 30 minute rule. The 30 minute rule?

Yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, have a nice little pity party. What are the times involving me? Norma wants to know, one out of three. No, it wasn't. Oh, dang it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I literally get over, I literally get over you guys really fast. Not Vanessa and, not Vanessa and Tracy. She requires more time. No, not Vanessa and Tracey. She requires more time. No, no, no, no. They don't even take two minutes if I get irritated. No, it's my kids. My kids.

Hers is 29. How long does it usually take? No, I usually am done like in five minutes or less with even my kids. You guys are two and I'm five. Just double. No, it was really big things last year. I usually am done like in five minutes or less with even my kids It was really big things last year

it was really big things last year that I was I I had to like it was work-related that I was like Okay, you're gonna have to regroup because people are freaking idiots and it was people being idiots That ticked me off like just being so stupid where it was affecting other people and their lives and they were hurting other people that I don't like that yeah I don't like people being mean because they can be mean yeah yeah and then you're affecting somebody else's life that ticks me off it's not cool yeah so for me I'm so beyond with that from last year. But yeah, give yourself, allow yourself a little time to regroup, but literally set your timer if you have to. And then after that, say, I'm done. That's it. That's all you get. That's all this gets. Nothing more, nothing less. And

don't do it very often, cause nothing should ever make you that mad. But when it does, it needs because it's a value, it's something of value, not because it's something petty. Pettiness shouldn't even get your time. So let's do sponsors really quick. Can you do sponsors? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Were you guys in the middle of something? Did I take you from something? No, I figured out a way to do the prompt. So we're getting, so what I'm going to do. What prompt? Our chat GPT action figure prompt. Oh.

So I have, but I'm adding Norma's on cause she didn't like her. So she's upgrading her. Okay. I didn't like mine either. Sorry. I was just joking. Mine made me look like I was like a 70 year old. Okay. We'll switch it. We'll switch it. I know me look like I was like a 70 year old. Okay, we'll switch it.

We'll switch it. I know, listen, I didn't do it. But I have like a graphic. And so what I'm gonna do guys, I used a really bad photo. Oh my gosh. Did you send that to Erin? No, I'm going to.

Oh my gosh. That's freaking funny. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, so I have like a graphic like we do with all this stuff, Natalie, merch, all that stuff. So I'm gonna post that on like a graphic like we do with all the stuff, Natalie merch, all that stuff. So I'm gonna post that on, you have to go to our Facebook page. So, cause it'll be big enough.

So, and then it's gonna have it and you can just copy and paste it. I'll put it in the caption as well, but I'm gonna put all of ours on there. So we can redo yours before we post it. Yeah, we are, girl. Mom looks scary. So does mine.

Look at Vanessa's face. Look at all these wrinkles they gave her. She's like, look at that wrinkle. I know, I know, I know. Oh my gosh, they gave me wrinkles? I can't even see them. Look at who is face. Look at all the wrinkles they gave her. She's not even that wrinkly. Oh my gosh, they gave me wrinkles. I can't even see them. Look at who is that girl? Like who's that?

At least they got her dress right. My outfit looks perfect. I know, I know. No, her dress is perfect. But I'm full of wrinkles. I couldn't even see my wrinkles. You know what? Can you zoom in?

Maybe, let me see. Dear God. Okay. That doesn't even look like me. Oh my gosh, I'm so wrinkly. Who's that lady? Your neck actually kind of sorry if this offends you, but your neck actually kind of looks accurate to yours.

It's not bad. That's a horrible neck. And I've been putting cream on my neck. No, it's not. That is not horrible. It's not great, Talia. Talia, that's a horrible neck. I thought it looked fine.

Okay, I need 30 minutes. Okay. I need now, I need 30 minutes. Okay, I need 30 minutes It looks the same no not the same 30 minutes, I think my neck is All I'm gonna tell you is that, nevermind. Okay, yeah. So anyways, but I have a prompt and we'll fix yours,

but they're really small. So I don't know if anybody can even see them. But the whole point is if you want your own action figure, you'll be able, sorry, I'm not on. You'll be able to go to Facebook page and you can copy and paste the prompt and add your own. And I have, there's four options for the thing on the side, your little like action figure toy things you don't have to do four so

just just do it do whatever you want do whatever you want but it's super simple try it and then you can see how scary your face looks as well mine is terrible. Mine is terrible. So that's not going to work. I'm so fat and my arms are like six inches off. At least you guys are proportionate. I don't know. I look scary. Dude, I don't have a torso. I'm just neck. You know those things on TikTok where you can put your face up and it counts down and

says how old you are? I won't even do that. I did it. I did it. It said I look 33. So it's not even. Wow, that's rude. I did it. It said I look 33. So it's not even like- Wow, that's rude.

It is rude. Well, I might be a hundred. A hundred twenty. So I'm not doing it. Just don't show your neck. Me too. Oh my gosh. That was a joke.

That was a joke. Thirty minutes. Thirty minutes. That was because we were making fun of Meg. Hey, my thing went off, Tal. My thing went off. Okay. Can you go start TikTok again for her? Hey, can you ask to join my TikTok and we'll join together?

Let's try to join together. Yeah, let's see. Okay. Okay, let's do the sponsor. Real Estate Appraisal Associates of Southwest Florida, Inc. is owned by Lord Keller. They've been in business since 2005. They provide the most accurate certified home appraisal

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by Proverb 16.3 which is commit to the Lord whatever you do and he will establish your plans we have seven minutes to do oh nine four one four six zero three nine six two nine four one four six zero three nine six two is the phone number okay did that fast. So let me ask you this. Do you have anything? Did you get everything you needed to get done so that I can do the next question? No? Yes?

No. Let me look real quick. I'm looking at my neck. Oh, God, it does look. Stop looking at your neck, it's fine. Whoa, we were joking. Your neck is fine. Okay. I was is fine. Okay.

I was giving you a compliment. I'll just keep the microphone in front of it. Mom. Then you'll never see it. Now I made my mom insecure and I feel bad. Exactly. You're insecure, don't know what I felt. I've been putting that stuff on there.

It's gotten better. That's what I was saying, I was giving you a compliment. Can you imagine what it was before? Is that the stuff Kristen Benney recommended? No, it's different stuff, but that stuff worked too. But this stuff I think is gonna work better. Tracy, have you noticed a difference in yours? Not really.

What sort of change in your neck? I have like a little line now that I turned 40. It's just like a little one. It's like a little line. Like this, right there. I used to have a line. If I did this... I had a lot of lines. But now, I don't have a lot if I did this I had a lot of lines but now I don't have a lot of lines. I'm almost 60. Are you taking the stuff that Natalie gave you? Yes. The GH

CKU or whatever. I don't know what it is. Yes I am. Okay. So hopefully that helps me. That will help. Yeah. It's a peptide. Why is everything a peptide? Teptides are good for you. I should have put it on our Chachi BT thing too. I missed that. It was a missed opportunity to add that as one of your action figures. My peptides?

I should have put a peptide for Vanessa. Totally, totally missed opportunity. I know. OK. OK. Chicken wings. OK, so the question, it was just scripture? Is that what it was? What are you talking about? I said ready for the next question.

Am I, am I allowed to do the next question? Oh yeah. I think so. Okay. I don't care if you have this scripture. It doesn't matter to me. Okay. Yeah. I don't care about it. I thought you were doing something with that. I was like, did you say something? No, I was worried about you doing your action figure thing for the people that I don't care about that. I thought you were doing something with the... I was like, did you say something? No, I was worried about you doing your action figure thing for the people. I didn't know if you still needed to... Okay. You made me panic for nothing. Oh, that's a lesson.

My cortisol levels are all high. Oh, I'm sorry about that. I'm going to drink my diet coke now. Now, look how bad it is now. Now there's two. Oh my gosh. Super sorry. Thank you.

And Dropbox isn't working. I don't know what to do. I'm going to go cry. Pound some sand. I have been dating girls for a long time. I'm going to go cry. I'm going to go cry. I Dropbox isn't working. I don't know what to do. I'm gonna go cry. Pound some sand. I have been dating someone for about six months.

I really like them. I'm wondering about my future with them and if they are the one God has for me. How do you know when you found the right one? Well, I don't think you're gonna know that after six months. I say date a year, as I've always said, as Heather, I mean't think you're gonna know that after six months. I say date a year as I've always said as Heather, I mean as Vanessa likes to say per Adalus is date all four seasons. So good. Yes, so okay and I listen I don't even know how many times we've answered this question. I know. But it's so good. You're doing for another rant.

It is. It's been a little while since you've ranted about this. Yeah. I shall not rant. We'll see. I shall not rant today. We'll see. Yeah.

It is a pet peeve, guys. I ain't gonna lie. It is a pet peeve. They're not lying when they say rant. It's a pet peeve because people don't think of marriage as forever. Yeah. Marriage is supposed to be thought of that this is a forever thing.

Not, okay, if we fall out of love or if it doesn't work out, we can always get a divorce. That's not an option. It should not be an option. It's over 50% now people consider it to be an option in the world and in the Christian world. OK. The Christian statistics are as bad as the worldly statistics. It's pathetic. But like think about doing I mean somebody who's the story about somebody they met each other in a day and it was Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson they met and the first 24 hours and then the next one they ran off and got

married after knowing each other for 24 hours they ran off and got married that's stupid that's silly that's about as smart as somebody dating for three months somebody dating for three to four months, getting engaged after that. And then shortly thereafter getting married. Nope, baby. No, baby. God, man, get your fricking head examined.

Oh my gosh. Oh, here we go. Outside of the fact of, if you prayed about it and God said, no, this is the one for you. Yeah. I mean, I've literally known people who saw somebody walk into a room and they felt like God said, no, this is the one for you. I mean, I've literally known people who saw somebody walk into a room and they felt like God said,

now, if you're not a spiritual person and you're watching this, you're gonna go, that's crazy. I get that, I get that you think that that's crazy 100%. Cause listen, I would have thought it was crazy too. But I'm just saying there are times that I've literally known people from my childhood to adult lives where somebody walked in

to whatever they walked into and they felt like the Lord told them immediately, that's gonna be your husband or that's gonna be your wife. They got married, they're still married and happily married, had a happy marriage the whole entire time. It can happen. Didn't Jeff say that about you? Yeah.

That's why I'm not saying anything right now. It just dawned on me that I think that's what you said. Jeff said, there's always exceptions. We were old, he was older. I was not, but he was older. He was praying for his wife. Like he was on a mission. But you didn't rush it is what I'm saying.

Like you guys weren't like married in four months. No, we had all four't rush it is what I'm saying. You guys weren't like married in four months. No, we had all four seasons. That's what I'm saying. You guys still didn't rush it though. But he knew immediately though. But he knew. And for me, I'm not saying that that can't happen. Okay, I truly, even though people getting married quickly

isn't a pet peeve of mine, I do believe though, people can hear the voice of the Lord tell them that this is the person you're to marry and if you got married in less than a year because of that I'm like okay I get that. I mean but most people it doesn't happen like that guys. Most of the people it's not. First, second Corinthians says, so let me just ask you you want wanna know if this person's the right one for you. Let's go to the first question here. 2 Corinthians 6, 14 through 15 says,

do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness and what communion has light with darkness and what accord has Christ with Belial or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? If they're not saved, they're not the one. If you are a Christian and they are not a Christian, they are not the one.

You are not gonna missionary date somebody. That's actually against the word of God. And how many times have people tried to tell me they're gonna do that and thought that that was acceptable? I nearly want to pop their head off like a pimple. And like, are you fricking idiot? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. Obviously you don't read your Bible.

Yep. Do not try and validate or justify that kind of mentality. That is the stupidest thing and unbiblical thing I've ever heard of in my life. And it just shows spiritually where you're at, which is very immature. Second, are you mature enough to be married? So many people are not, okay?

If you cannot be mature enough to get married, where it says that the man is to love his wife, like Christ loved the church, if you can't do that for your woman, don't get married. If you can't stand up for your woman in the simplest, easiest situations and you let her fend for herself while you're dating, or if this person that you're looking at won't even stand up for you, don't marry him. Because that's not what Jesus did for the church. And if you cannot submit and

that does not mean it'd be a doormat, and that doesn't mean to be a slave. That means that you have a voice, that voice is equal, but at the end of the day, a decision has to be made, and somebody's gonna make it, and it should be the man's responsibility. But a lot of times men often are like, good men, are like, you know what, your idea is better. So we're gonna do your idea.

Okay? But I'm just saying, if you can't do that and honor your husband and love him in spite of not agreeing with him, don't get married. You're not mature enough. You can't handle it. Until you can do what the Bible says in marriage,

don't get married. You can't do it. You're not mature enough. It's not possible. I'm making this as brief as possible, ladies, because we are now a minute over. Next thing. Do you fight a lot? If you fight, and it's often, do not get married. Either you're too immature and you don't know how to problem solve fights? Or you're not compatible? Am I correct, ladies?

Do you guys want to say anything? Add your two cents. You're on a roll. Avalist. Go for it. You got it. What else? Do you guys have anything you want to add to that?

Not yet. Not yet. Okay. Have you crossed lines with each other? As Christians, the world does whatever they want. They have sex with whoever they want. Not yet. Not yet. Okay. Have you crossed lines with each other as Christians? The world does whatever they want. They have sex with whoever they want. They go, they do tender.

They go to bars. They pick up. They have one night stands. Okay. That's their business. But if you're going to say you're a Christian, then Christians are abstinent. Abstinent?

Yeah. I thought I said the wrong word. Like obstinate. They're abstinent. Meaning they don't do anything until they're married. If you can't do that, don't get married. Because you're not respecting one another. You don't love each other like Christ loves us.

And I will tell you this, where you have something where, let's see, how do I say, this relationship, if it has crossed the lines, then what happens is, it's fruit of the poisonous tree. Okay? And what I mean by that is something that has sin in it and then you try and make it holy. It does not work. You have to cut off what is unholy, then regroup and then see, does that make sense? So my thing is, is if you've crossed lines, then that means you need to separate for a while, whatever, or make sure that you're never in a situation where you can do that again.

Start dating properly, see if you can maintain that, and then you'll find out if your marriage material, because here's the thing, you're stepping into a relationship doing what married couples do, and you're not even there yet. And there's sin there, and sin and God do not abide together. Ladies, want to add anything?

Yeah. That's huge. Yeah. I'm talking to my husband on here. He's saying that he wanted to marry me right away, but he actually didn't want to meet me in real life. So we're going back and forth in the chat. Oh dear God.

And he's sending a dollar to Norma for her hard work. Thanks Jay. I was doing something on my phone. Okay you little turd. I was looking for something for chat GBT. So yeah. You're doing great Hope, keep going. You got a great verse coming up.

I don't have any more verses. What Ephesians? I got it for you. It's all prepared and ready. Oh, I'm done with that. I skipped it cause it's too long. Okay, so I abbreviated. Okay, the last thing, cause we're five minutes past.

The last thing is before you do anything and say yes to anybody, pray and ask God, is this the person for me? And then you'll have a peace or you won't have a peace. Or you'll actually hear a still small voice. And I know people who are not Christians are gonna go, yeah, right, sure. Okay, well, I'm telling you, unless you've been there,

it's like aliens. I've never seen one, so I don't believe in them. But people who have seen them say, they're there. I haven't seen my brain, but I know I have one. Okay, you haven't seen your brain, but you believe you have one. So I'm just saying, until it happens to you, you don't know. But I'm saying to people who are Christians,

if you claim to be a Christian and you wanna know if the person that you're supposed to be involved with is the future for you, and you're six months in and you probably don't wanna waste your time, another six minutes trying to figure out if this guy is the one or this girl's the one. If you have a piece about it right now and you haven't crossed any lines, you don't fight all the time and this person honors you and you honor them, keep going, you know, keep going out,

praying and asking the Lord, Lord is there a future with this person? If you don't feel a peace about that eventually at some point, then break it off. But if you continue to have a peace about it, keep going. And at a year, say to the Lord, okay, now things are getting serious. I'm gonna keep going out with this person, but I'm gonna need you to tell me something. And I need by this time, by this date,

I really need an answer. And if you don't have the answer, that doesn't mean you do anything, but it doesn't mean you break up, but it doesn't mean that you say either, okay? If you feel an ick, then you break up. If you feel a peace, then keep going until you know that it's a yes.

Yeah, that's good. I don't think, like, I don't think just because you don't have a peace right away, that you dump the person. Right, I agree. Cause maybe there's things that both of you have to work out with one another. Like I know with Tom, literally God had to do some things

in him to make him be a good husband for me. And it took three years to make that happen. And so for me, I'm like, what if I would have just given up the first year? I would have missed the best thing in my life. And what were we missing? We had fun, we laughed together, we had a great time dating,

like he was my best friend. The only thing we weren't doing is having sex. I think I can handle that for three years. I know. It's only like what, how many times a week, how many times you do it a week for however long you do it, it doesn't add up to be near what people think it is. To the amount that they make it be the decision of a lifetime for them.

Yeah, yeah. So stupid. Yeah. So stupid. So no, hold out. Go ahead, Vanessa. Be super observant to like go through a Hurricane season together, you know, what does he what does he do in in emergency situations?

Does he crumble is he running is he a flight? Instead of a fight. Yeah, these are things that you should probably know before getting married Yeah, yeah, I see you making probably know before getting married. Yeah. Yeah, I see you making sure that you're safe. Yeah. I mean, are you making him safe? Yeah. Okay, it's one thing.

Like it's one thing, like me and Tracy, we laugh because me and Tracy, when we go to the airport, our husbands are like, okay, you just tell me where to go and where to sit and whatever. They're called passenger princesses. Right. We are not passenger princesses. Vanessa is.

Vanessa is like, does nothing. I turn my brain off. She shows up. Me and Tracy's husbands just show up, but I can promise you, when we're in the thick of things, I'm not in charge and I'm not scared. Cause like my husband and your husband,

like you're gonna have to fight to get through any of his family or to me, cause nobody's getting past. He'll die for each and every single one of his. You need a man who'll lay his life down. And if this is a guy that's asking you, you need a woman who wants to be a woman, but wants to be your partner in crime and go through the thick of it with you.

So if you haven't found that person, then that ain't your person. Find your person that makes you the happiest on the face of the earth. Find that person where you can literally turn your brain off when they're around. You know you don't always have- I can't turn my brain off with time. When you-

I can't turn my brain off when I'm with the guy. Are you kidding me? I'm like- Where you have to be on all the time. Are you talking about like performance mode or just like chilling yourself? Next to each other. Oh, heck yeah.

100% agree with you, Vanessa. You're so content and you're so secure in your relationship where you don't have to be on all the time in vigilance. Like whenever you guys are together, you can literally just like go on pilot mode. You are absolutely right about that. That life is very easy. Yeah.

And it can be that a marriage can be where life is so easy. Totally. And you're laughing and joking around. And when you see the person making the phone call to you, you're like, oh my gosh, I'm so excited. I can't wait to talk to them. I'm like almost 30 years, I'm over 30 years of being involved with my husband,

but we're going into the 28th year of marriage. And literally he called today and I was like, oh yay, goody. You know, like it can be where you don't lose that. I mean, a long time being with somebody doesn't have to be like, what do they want? Never feel like that. So thank you for joining the whole potluck.

Does anybody else have anything to add? That was good. That was really good. Okay, the next question that we have coming up on Friday, besides the other things that we're gonna do, is a person that's very frustrated with their boyfriend because all they wanna do when they hang out is watch, look at the phone, text other people,

and not be involved with them. Yeah, and then the next one after that is kissing acquaintances. How do we stop that? We'll have other questions too, but those are the ones right now that we have coming in. So, and I'm sure they're kissing acquaintances. Just friends that are kissing all the time.

I'll get into that. And I'll end up telling you about it Off of the podcast, but kissing acquaintances. How do we deal with that? See you on Friday. See you on Friday. Me and the peanut gallery. We'll be there. Bye.

Bye. Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. Real talk.