The Hope Hotline - The Hope Hotline | S01-E02 | 01-20-23

Episode Date: January 20, 2023

Question #1I am struggling to get pregnant; I do not want to go to a doctor, besides prayer what else can I do?Question #2How do I find the balance between being a Godly submissive wife yet still a strong bold woman?Question #3How do you overcome adultery in a Christian marriage and what can I do to take every thought captive when the root of bitterness and anger continuously interrupt my thoughts?Question #4What is gossip? How do you explain a situation to another person without the concerns of it being gossip?Question #5Pastor Tom says that you guys do not fight. How do you do that with two strong personalities?

Welcome back. We are down to our second podcast. The first one is over with. I'm super excited to be back with you guys and we are going to move to our first question because really that's what you guys are here to watch. You're not really here to, well I guess you're here to, you're tuning in to hear me talk, but you want to hear the questions. So the first question is, I am struggling to get pregnant. I do not want to go to a doctor. Besides prayer, what else can I do?

Now, some of my questions, or a lot of questions, can come from a man or a woman. And in this case, I'm believing this is from a woman. Unless we are having a trans issue right now, then I'm safely assuming that this is a woman. And anyway, man, woman, whatever, you're a woman if you're having this baby. So, Heather is laughing in my ear right now. Psalm 113.9. Let's hit scripture first. Let's give you hope because really the only thing that can give you hope is the word. Heather.

Okay. The word says in Psalm 113.9, he maketh the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children praise ye the lord you need to write that scripture down you need to stand on it it's i love this about the word um because there are so many places that can give you great hope and and some people don't realize this and they don't correlate it but if you think about how god uh formed the nation of israel it was all based on a miracle um from the very beginning when god told abraham at the age of 75 you will be the father of many nations.

You will see as many stars in the sky and as many sand on the seashore. That's as many children as you will have. At that moment, his wife Sarah was barren. She was unable to have children, and it would seem as though that would be an impossible feat. But with God, all things are possible. And he purposed that it would be like this so that faith and the miraculous would come to pass. So it was 25 years later that it would come to pass

that Sarah would have a child at the age of 90, some believe 90 or 91, and Abraham would have Isaac at the age of 99 or 100. So the beginning process started. It wasn't just Abraham and Sarah who would be barren. Isaac at the age of 40 would go on to marry Rebecca, who also was barren. Isaac at the age of 40 would go on to marry Rebecca, who also was barren. Again, the miraculous. That's how God works. Don't look at your situation and say it's impossible, because all things are possible for those who believe and so i would say to you um that if the nation of israel

can come out of abraham and sarah then it went um isaac and rebecca and then rebecca had um jacob and jacob married rachel and she was barren now he married Leah first and he had children with her but he really loved Rachel and that's the one he really wanted to have children with and he should have married her first but he was tricked by his um by her their father so uh Rachel was barren so if you look at it three generations all of them barren and how would how would you say well it would look as though what god had promised would be all would be impossible no it's not just it as much as your situation is impossible it's not um so through looked this up this is crazy the nation of israel right now uh today it's estimated 15 million jews live on this earth 15 million jews

jewish people live on this earth an estimated 5.5 million jews live in Israel. So out of three women, one promise, we have 15 million people that are Jewish that are now existing. And that's just this time frame. That's not over, of course, since the promise was made. I think that that was a pretty good start off of three barren women. And so God promises so God promises through the word, and I'm going to share with you some scripture about that just to give you more hope. And then to give you maybe some ideas as well as maybe how to let your faith grow so that you can see your heart's desire. But there are other women in the Bible. It was the same Samson his mother barren Hannah who gave birth to Samuel who was one of the greatest prophets and then there's Elizabeth who was

barren and she gave birth to John the Baptist if you think about that that's six powerful men of God born from barren women. God uses women that can't have children to do great things and to have great men who do great things. Let's look at some scripture that we can examine and hold on to. And I would strongly encourage everybody, if I speak about something that might encourage you or it might be a question that you sit there and go, that I relate to this, get your pad and paper out and just write the scriptures down. But then don't just stick to those. Start digging in the Word so that you can receive the answer that you're looking for through whether it be

faith, healing, prosperity, marriage, whatever it is, you can start digging in on those topics for yourself. It says in Exodus 23, 26, no one shall suffer miscarriage. He talks about miscarriage. I don't know how many people have suffered miscarriage, but about miscarriage i don't know how many people have suffered miscarriage but i have and i didn't know that scripture to be honest with you and if i had i would have stood on it and then that wouldn't have happened to me miss having a miscarriage is very tough for many women and sometimes it's you have one miscarriage after another miscarriage after another miscarriage and you still don't have a child. Well, I'm encouraging you, take this scripture, stand on it. Exodus 23, 26 is for you.

No one shall suffer miscarriage from this point. I speak to whoever has suffered miscarriage or continues to do so. I speak life into your womb, that it will carry that baby throughout its term, the 40 weeks that God designed it to, that when it is born, you will have a child that you will be able to rear, and it will be a strong man or woman of God, and your home will be full of laughter. Okay? So, no one shall suffer miscarriage or be barren in your land.

I will fulfill the number of your days. What a great promise. In Deuteronomy 7, through 14 it says and he will love you and bless you and multiply you that's your promise he's going to multiply you um sometimes like i i see that verse and I actually have a little mini me. My daughter is exactly like me. I think, well, I will say Heather is probably more like me than my own daughter is. But Norma is definitely my mini me. And I've never loved myself and hated myself so much ever.

So be careful if you ask to multiply you because you will get it. And God bless. That's all I can say. And he will love you and bless you and multiply you. Be careful about that. He will also bless the fruit of your womb. You shall be blessed above all people.

There shall not be a male or female barren among you Write these scriptures on a note card. Put them all over your house. Put them on your mirror as you're getting ready for work or for the day or whatever the case may be. Make them so they're present. So they are a constant reminder to you of what God's word says, what God's promises are, and your faith will only grow. Because the word, faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word, that's what it says. So your faith can only grow.

The word does not return void is what it says. So everything that you plant will come up if you're planting faith seed your seed will grow psalm 113 9 again write this one down this is one we've already talked about he make it the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children praise ye the Lord. I love, I love, some people, I say this all the time, some people have their favorites that they like to follow and listen to. I certainly do. One of the people that I love to listen to that teaches me a great deal about the Jewish faith, the Jewish culture, about Middle Eastern tradition, things like that,

is Perry Stone. He's a wealth of knowledge. Obviously, nobody agrees with what someone says 100% of the time, but in many cases, he has some really great things that I personally enjoy. And one of the things he says about women who are barren that is so good he says all biblical principle excuse me all biblical promises from god must first be understood then believed and verbally confessed for the promise to be activated in your situation it requires the action of faith faith takes hold of the invisible

and hangs on until the impossible becomes possible and that is true that is a very true statement so what i would tell you to do is take those biblical promises understand, study them out, then believe what they say. Because the word, if you can't believe the word, then you just throw out the book because it's worthless. You can believe it. It is true. It's the promises never fail. Then believe and then you're going to confess with your mouth and then believe with your heart that what the word says is true and will come to pass and once you do that your faith will take action and it'll make what's impossible become the possible amen i will say this a lot of times and i would do a self-examination of yourself as far as when it comes to faith. One of the greatest things you can test yourself in as far as whether you have faith or not

and the length of faith that you have or the strength of faith is, let me ask you, do you pay tithe? And you'll say, well, what does that have to do with having a child? Well, it has a lot to do with having a child because based on your faith and your finances will show your faith in who you are. Like I'm a control freak. I love control. Anybody that knows me, I think even if you don't know me

and you see me on the outskirts of the church or my personal life, you will say that is one control freak-ish woman. I mean, I love it. I like having a say in everything. I like my opinion to be heard. That's why this show is really good for me because like I love giving my opinion. But when it comes to giving and paying my tithe, I know that that's not in my control. And I know that the best way for me to not be worse than what I am, which I'm a control freak, but within, I have a confine of that. I have boundaries.

My husband's made sure of that but um when you have to relinquish um your financial um how do i want to say this i don't want to say outlook but when you relinquish relinquish your finances and you give them to God, what you're ultimately saying is, Lord, you know better what to do with my life and my situation and my household better than I do. And I'm going to, no matter what it looks like, no matter what bill comes my way, whatever situation occurs, Lord, I'm not taking back my finances. I'm trusting you because the word clearly says to test you in this and to know that

whatever my need is, it will be met. In fact, almost all the time, it goes far beyond what your need is. He gives you your wants. So if you can't relinquish control over your finances, then you have trust issues. You have faith issues. You have a level of faith that you'll go,

and then you stop, which is a part of being a doubtful person. It's part of having unbelief. As you relinquish your finances you'll see your faith level grow and your doubt and unbelief um get less and less and less i know that sounds crazy but it's true i mean that's a song that's a song um it is crazy but it is true and once you see how god takes care of your finances for you and multiplies them, then you sit there and go, okay, if this is what he would do with my finances, then what he will do for me and whatever I ask for,

even in this situation and in others, you know he's going to come through for you. His word is true. You need to study out. If you don't pay your tithe, you need to study out what the scriptures say about giving, paying tithe, giving offering. Start that process up. Have your faith grow and increase. And you will see very quickly that you will be holding a baby in your arms.

I have no doubt on that. You get rid of the doubt and unbelief that is in your heart and your faith will increase. And right now I do want to pray for you. I want to pray for every woman right now that is struggling to have a child. I did this last year for Mother's Day. It's tough for women who want to have a baby so badly and are unable to do so when especially there are so many women out there that should not be having children and just keep multiplying them and they don't take care of the ones that they have it's very difficult for women to watch and see that um so i just want to pray um and let's believe that by mother's day you have a different result you're pregnant and that you

celebrate on mother's day of of you becoming a mother let's You are pregnant and that you celebrate on Mother's Day of you becoming a mother. Let's just pray real quick. Heavenly Father, we come to you right now. And Lord, I just ask that there be any women that are watching this, or if there's a man whose wife is longing to be pregnant and she's not watching, he's going to stand in the gap for her. Father, we just speak over that womb. We speak that Lord Jesus, that they would conceive, that it will be done immediately, that life will begin in this womb. And Father, that they would celebrate. This would be done by Mother's Day.

We praise you. We thank you. We know it shall come to pass. And I can't wait to get the letters coming in saying, you'll never believe it. I will believe it. I know his word is true. And we praise you and thank you in Jesus' mighty name. Okay, the only thing left to do now is get cracking.

You will decide whether you conceive or not. So it's party time in the bedroom. Get busy. Okay, and I mean that um question number two how do i find the balance between being a godly submissive wife yet still a strong bold woman i get that i am a super strong woman married to a very strong man but you can be both you can have two strong personalities living in the same home and still not lose yourself through it and be submissive so I'm going to tell you when I grew up the way I grew up my mom is a saint and she's probably she's one

of the sweetest people I hear it all the time and and I know it's true even though people tell me all the time I know it's true my mom is probably one of the sweetest people. I hear it all the time. And I know it's true, even though people tell me all the time, I know it's true. My mom is probably one of the sweetest people you will ever meet in your whole entire life. And I'm not just saying that to say it. I swear to you, she really is. She is such a kind human being. And she was a great example on how to be a submissive woman and training how to be a submissive wife. She trained me very well. I have three sisters and one brother. And this may sound crazy, but when I was growing up, one of the things that my mother trained us to do was to we all had dinner together so we would actually serve my

dad and my brother and it wasn't a thing of well with my dad it kind of was he was he was old-fashioned so he's like it was his way kind of thing and that's where I get it because I'm more like my dad than my mother. But we served. And even no matter what the attitude was or no matter what the behavior was, we served with a servant's heart. So you really couldn't get mad if the person you were serving wasn't kind. You just did it.

It was a great training experience. And that doesn't mean that you passed every time. But what it does is it teaches you to be selfless it teaches you to have a submissive heart and the word says we are to submit to one another so that doesn't mean that you're a doormat and that doesn't mean that whatever he says goes because the facts are if your spouse is telling you to do things that are unbiblical, and I'm going to give you some examples. One, don't go to church. He doesn't go to church.

He doesn't want you to go to church. You go to church. It's irrelevant. It doesn't matter. If he wants you to watch pornography with him, you don't do it. That's just the way it goes. There are lines that you draw if the line crosses over into unbiblical things that's where the line of being submissive ends that's it some of some women live with men that aren't christians and so it's going to be

a little bit tough because maybe you came together and you were when you got married you weren't you weren't saved so now you're saved he's not the word is very clear and Peter it talks I think it's second Peter how it talks about a wife who's married to a man that is not saved it says for you to be the example and the hopes that he will become saved so you are to be the example if you are acting like him you're not going to get him saved. But you're not to nag him, bug him. You know, like every time you get up to go to church, you're like, are you going to? That's not what we do.

You just go. And eventually what you have will make, hopefully make them want what you have. But nagging never works. It just doesn't. So you stick to biblical principle. If you're married to a Christian man and he still wants to do unbiblical things, and he wants you to do unbiblical, like if he doesn't go to church because he doesn't feel like it, that you get up, you go to church. You know, if you have kids, you get the kids dressed, you go. You leave him home. Anything that doesn't coincide with what the word says, you are not obligated to do.

Now, the problem is, nowadays, which is somewhat sensitive, so I don't know if this is the case for whoever asked this question, but there are a lot of blended families out there today. So with that comes becomes conflict. What I mean by that is, so usually blended families, it's two fam, we all know this, it's two families, of course. But normally, it's two fam we all know this it's two families of course um but normally it's both um the man and the woman are bringing children into the relationship it's very unusual that it's you know one set has children and the other doesn't um i i hardly ever see that so what happens in this case is you got, you know, how do I say this? You'll have where you'll have two separate sets of rules.

For example, you are now married. You and your spouse mostly agree on how to raise the children. But the person that they were married to previously do not agree on how to raise the children. But the person that they were married to previously do not agree on how to raise the children with the spouse. And now you have the element of the other person involved. So you've got conflict. It makes it extremely difficult to raise children when maybe the spouse that you're no longer married to

has a say in how you raise the child and doesn't want the new spouse involved in that. Both Christians, the person over here is not a Christian. So they have a whole set of rules at this house, and then you guys have your rules here at this house. And so now you're married, and now you have a conflict with each other because over here they're allowed to do this and in your home they're not allowed and what I'm telling you to do is if you're a woman and you're married to a man that's trying to to raise the children when they're in your home under the same rules as the everybody's that All children have to be under the same rules as each other. That's very difficult, but that's when you submit to your spouse.

Because if he's the priest of the home, when the kids are in the home, it's the same set of rules have to apply to everybody all the time. What happens outside of your home is whatever happens outside of your home. But always, always, always, you guys are a united front. Kids have to see that the parents are united front. That they don't go against each other. Because once they see a crack in the dam, trust me, they're going to take it. By nature, kids are, nature, kids are manipulators.

Well, people are manipulators. So whatever, if they see that there's an opportunity to take advantage of a situation, to get what they want, they absolutely will. So blended families is a little bit tougher. But if you are not a blended family, whatever the priest of the home says, that's what you do. That's just the way it goes. And listen, sometimes I have not liked the direction that Tom's wanted to go. But here's the thing.

I answer for my response. He answers for his decision. Okay. It is way, way easier to answer for your response than to have to make that decision. The man has to go before God and answer for every decision that he has made for his family. That is a very, very heavy thing to bear and to carry. Like, it's a serious thing and if you buck him and make him um you know not do what god's is or what he feels like god's telling him to do and you keep picking and prodding him and

picking and prodding him till you get give him you know you get your way first now he's going to answer to god for not doing what he's supposed to done done and you're going to answer to God for not doing what he's supposed to have done, and you're going to answer to God for not doing what you were supposed to do, which is to submit. Just submit. It's way easier. I think it's, you know, outside of some uncomfortable things on a monthly basis and having a child, I think we got it pretty good. So just submit to your husband when he's giving godly counsel.

Be kind even if you don't like it because you will answer for your response, and you'll live a happy life. Not a lot of fighting goes on. I can promise you that. I mean, I know there's a question in here. I think I might get to it about me and Tom and that, but you don't have to have a lot of fighting when you just learn to submit to the godly authority that has been placed in your home. And listen, you married him.

So now you got to live with it. Like it or not, it's up to you. It can be really easy or it can be really hard. And that's got to be a woman question. So question number three. How do you overcome adultery in a Christian marriage? And what can I do to take every thought captive when the root of bitterness and anger continuously interrupt my thoughts? Okay, that's a toughie.

I'm going to be honest with you. I think, not in marriage, but I think pretty much most people have it. Well, not most. Well, most, I would say. I mean, a lot of people have been cheated on. Not fun. Not in my marriage, but everybody's experienced it. And the tough thing about experiencing being cheated on, it's worse when it's in a marriage.

It's tough when it's dating. I mean,'s worse when it's in a marriage it's tough when it's dating i mean it stinks when it's dating um but uh when it's when because when it's dating there's no commitment even though it's heart-wrenching and heart-breaking and you feel about that big when you find out um it's which way worse when you're in a marriage because of the covenant that's been made between the two of you and the promise that each of you make to one another so such a betrayal if you will when it happens but i but i want to want to tell you before we move forward first of all if it's a one-time thing that's totally different than multiple occurrences. One time, there's forgiveness in that.

Multiple, hit the road, Jack. I mean, I wouldn't put up with it, I'll be honest with you. If it's a man that's been cheated on multiple times by his wife, seriously think about saying goodbye because that's nothing's going to change and i would say the same thing for a woman who's married to a man that's cheated on her multiple times you really need to think about whether you want to stay in the marriage for many reasons but but one of them is like let's think about diseases. I mean, hello. That ain't going to happen.

I wouldn't put my life at risk over some yahoo that wants to go around and prowl and do whatever. Nope, not happening. Not on my watch. Plus, I like myself too much. And you should too. You should like yourself. If somebody wants you and others, well, love yourself enough to know that you're worth way more than that. And you don't need that. So, and the word is very clear.

Adultery, you can get out. So, I would get out. I did some research, which I was like astounded by this. Like, I was shocked. I ain't gonna lie to you it says Christian marriages there's a statistic that says Christian marriages um the national average show that right around 60 percent of people yeah marriages 60 percent of marriages have had affairs. Yeah, that's frightening in a Christian marriage, over 60%.

We are almost as bad as unbelievers as far as the average in having an adulterous affair. Yeah, that's not good. It's a little higher. It isn't by much, though. So 60% of all Christian marriages are almost, or right around is what it said. 60% of all Christian marriages have dealt with adultery. That just shows you how bad the church is performing at preaching the gospel and holiness. It's obviously lacking big time, if the national average is that. How many of you guys remember Ashley Madison?

She had a website that fixed up married people so that they could have affairs. And when I guess all those names were exposed, some pretty high profile people were found out that they were, you know, on her list of clientele. Get this, 70% of her clientele claimed to be Christians. Yeah, pretty bad. That's not good. That's pretty staggering. And I will tell you, one of the biggest reasons adultery is so high is because of pornography.

Pornography is like, Erin, what's the number for a billion dollar, it's like the most expensive industry, correct? Like going on right now, it's like ridiculous. And what they're saying right now is that pornography is watched more by women than men. So, which is not good. So that makes women more apt to

$14 billion industry. Oh my gosh, what we believers could do with $14 billion industry. Oh, my gosh. What we believers could do with $14 billion. That's bad. So one of the teachers that I love to listen to, Andrew Womack, love him or hate him. Some people hate his voice. I think he's a great teacher. I mean, I don't agree with some of the stuff that he does,

but, like, listen, I do the 80-20 plan. I agree with 80% of what you say. Spit out the meat. Eat the bone. What is it? Spit out the meat? No. Eat the meat and spit out the bones?

Yep, that's what you're going to do. So, for me, like, I love a lot of what he says, but there are things, you're just not going to agree with everybody. And, like, you're going to watch these, and there won't be very many of you, I can promise you that. But there will be some of you that sit there and go, that was bad advice. Don't take that. Whoever, you know, got that question, don't listen to her. That wasn't good.

There won't be many of you but there will be some and um that's just the way it goes um but pornography has caused this because what happens is one of the things andrew mamak talks about and i love it it's so true it's when you plant the seed something's going to come up when you start thinking about things inappropriately about another other than your spouse and you ponder them and you like the imagination you just start imagining things that you shouldn't it eventually that seed will grow and what happens is is your imagination will no longer satisfy you now you start flirting and then the flirting starts to inappropriate conversation and then

the inappropriate conversation starts into what ifs and the next thing you know you're in a place that you shouldn't be with a person you have no business being with that's just the way it all starts with the seed and usually pornography doesn't help i will say pornography for men um used to be the thing but you know what a lot of women read those romance novels they're trash they're basically soft porn in a book that's all it is um and it's getting where like i love home well god bless it i do not love hallmark my husband loves hallmark um but hallmark is pure and sweet but even it is getting borderline like inappropriate with um the homosexuality um agenda that they've put in there. And then like Lifetime, Lifetime has it where like,

like it's always making you want something that you might not have at home. I personally do have it at home because my husband watches too much Hallmark in Lifetime. So I don't have to deal with that. But I'm just telling you a lot of women, they watch it because that's what they long for. And then when they don't get it from their husband after he's worked an eight or ten hour day, and life is not Hallmark, right? Now they start pining and longing for something because when they dated him, he was just like similar to Hallmark.

And then they, you know, somehow, someway, someone comes across their path that pays a little attention to them and it's just like that fresh dating feeling and all these feelings come up that have no business being there it's because a seed was planted you have to be very careful of what your eyes see you have to take captive of every thought that comes into your head if it is not from the word you get rid of it that's just the way it is the word is very clear we are to like when we use our imagination it warns us against it virtually every single time in the

scriptures it doesn't really I think there's only one place where it speaks positively about the imagination so you have to be very careful of your thoughts that's why it says in the word to take captive of every thought um and there's reasons for that so um it starts where a seed was planted now i will tell you this a lot lot of people who've been cheated on, they deal with a lot of baggage from that. One of the things that happens when you've been cheated on is you start thinking like, I'm not worth anything. Or if I was better looking, or if, if I would have done this, or I would have done that, this probably would have never happened that's in some cases maybe that's true but in a lot of cases no the person was going to stray because they planted a seed that never should

existed I'll give you an example um when I was younger uh Tom and I had a set of friends and the guy was okay looking I mean I didn't think I didn't think he was that great um his wife though gorgeous like drop dead gorgeous I don't know how he got her he wasn't funny so like I don't know I'm just saying she was drop dead gorgeous and that man cheated her. I do not know how many times. And you would sit there and go, what the heck? Why? The truth is, is it doesn't matter what you look like. You'll never be pretty. Even if the person he cheated on was prettier than you. Let me tell you, if you left, if he went with her, he will evidently cheat on her. It's not about looks it's all about um for men it's new that's just the truth for women it's wanting to feel that love and that comfort and that um devotion and safety and if they don't get it they look for it still wrong but men like for men I mean listen I could have a sex talks with sex talks with you ladies

right now but and some of you just do not have a clue but I'm just telling you like Tom's taught me so much like how men think it's pretty like it's nothing like what you think that they think it's nothing at all so um I'm gonna have him on a show one time, a marital show, and he's going to school everybody. I'm telling you, it's going to be really good. But I'm just saying, men don't go after women because they fulfill something in them that they're missing, they're longing for, other than new. That's it. So feel comforted in that.

So let's go back to adultery adultery it destroys trust self-assuredness um and all i can tell you is that if this happened and you decide to stay in the marriage which i would if it happened once depending on the length of time that it happened and things like that but some major changes would have to occur in order for me to stay in that marriage one is we would have to get in a very strong faith-based solid biblical church the problem is is there's not a lot of them around anymore they're just not a lot of them around anymore they're just not um a lot of them are very they're they're associated or related churches which preach about a whole lot of nothing to be honest with you um it's all about being the best you ever and the fam and all this other stuff so um you gotta you gotta get somewhere where a holiness is preached and taught so that you guys have a path and a direction

to go all right instead of being in a social club that spouse must attend you can't be the only one going because you weren't the one that strayed so they would have to go with you you if I was to stay if this was me I would have to see a major spiritual change in this to figure out where the relationship was going see if we can get back on track or examine things and listen if there's children involved that's tough because you really want to stay and you really want to keep a cohesive family unit because seriously satan comes to steal kill and destroy and the thing that he loves to do which is john 10 10 he loves to destroy the family unit and he has done a great job at it and one of the reasons this country is so fractured is because the family is fractured the home is no longer a in a strong foundation for people that they can they know that they can go back to because now

they don't just have mom and dad together they got two sets of parents um and in some cases it's even more than that um and i know that sounds weird but in some cases like mother remarries father remarries so now you got all these other people that have been in and out of your life because of multiple marriages and things like that, which destroys and creates a very difficult situation and stability for the children involved. So I get wanting to stay there, and I would fight tooth and nail. I would to keep the family intact and together. But there would have to be major effort also on the other person's part. And the person that wrote this question is, how do you forgive?

How do you move on? How do you not be so angry at the individual? Well, that one's as hard as it is. It's easy. Truth be told, forgiveness is not an option. The word is very clear. You are to forgive. And with forgiveness, in this case, you will have to just move forward. And there's two scriptures I'm going to give you. You need to write them down and you need to apply them to your life and nothing will kind of like if you keep repeating like making the

person that you decided to stay with pay the price every single time then you that person's never going to be able to move forward either because you keep rehashing what they've asked for forgiveness for so now if you're going to forgive, you really need to forgive. You need to move on. And no matter how hard it is sometimes, and the anger that you feel inside, you need to just say, I take captive of that thought. That is not what God's word tells me to do. I'm going to move forward. We're going to have our best life that God has for us. We're going to forget the things that are behind us and move forward. So Matthew 6, 14 through 15 says, if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your

father forgive your trespasses. All of us have a lot. And I would raise both hands on this one. But all of us have a lot to be forgiven of. We've done a lot of things, some more than others, that we need forgiveness for. And so for me, I sit there and say, when I go and I see my Lord and Savior, I want him to say, well done, good and faithful servant. I don't want him to say, well, you held this against this person and you held this against this person. When I have so much to be forgiven of. Okay, it's not worth it.

And if you want to stay in this marriage and you love this person, love them enough to forgive them. Because Jesus did for you. When he purchased that price for your sin on the cross, and then on a daily basis, because we fail him on a regular basis, he continues to forgive us. And he still supplies that eternal salvation or that eternal life with him each and every day when we fail him when we really don't have much right to do so and let me just remind you satan loves you staying bitter you staying

angry and he will continue to destroy your family as long as you allow those feelings and emotions to stay there john 10 10 i said this, the thief does not come except to steal and to kill and to destroy. And I have come, and this is Jesus saying it. He says, I have come that they may have life, that they may have it more abundantly. Forgive and see what an abundant life you'll have with your spouse

with a new fresh, new fresh beginning. beginning is that our new a fresh start I sound like a an art church but with a fresh start that you guys have see what happens guy can change he'll work it all for his good he'll take what what was bad and he'll work it for his good and you guys listen I know relationships that adultery was a part of and I've known ones that have split up and gone their ways and I've known ones that have said you know what we're gonna fight we're gonna fight and they the one forgave the other and they are actually stronger than they were before they made the mistake. So it happens. It can happen.

You guys could have a story that you share and be a witness and a tool that God can use to save other marriages that might experienced what you've experienced. And goodness comes from this. And you might be able to save families and keep them intact and work it through with them so that they can have what you have instead of one more for Satan. Satan wins one more family for himself. Let's see. This is one thing I will say.

Paul said this. Paul, the murderer, Paul Paul who was a great sinner. He was a Pharisee amongst Pharisees. He was not a good man. He was Saul at the time, but his name was changed to Paul because he was a new man. In Philippians 3, 13 through 14, he said, And this is what I tell you to do. This is what you need to do.

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended but one thing i do forgetting those things which are behind you need to just forget about it and reaching forward to those things which are ahead i press toward the goal for the prize of the upper call of god in christ jesus so i would say this and flip it a little bit around for you with the scripture i press towards the goal for the prize and that prize is a solid strong godly marriage that you can show your children if you have them you can show your children so that they replicate it when they get older they marry a man or a woman that are like you and like your spouse they never need to know if unless it's public knowledge now unless they do know about it that never needs to even be talked about if they're young enough they never need to

know this ever happened if they're old and they do know about it then what you need to show them is how forgiveness works and how a relationship can be renewed and be stronger than it ever was before to give them hope as well um let's see and let's go to question number four question number four i hope that answered number three's question that was a little long but listen adultery is big deal um what is gossip how do you explain a situation to another person without the concerns of it being gossip that's a good question and listen men women gossip we're like tom always says i know men will go to hell um because of lust what do women go to hell for and i always say to him one loneliness two gossip women never know how to

shut their mouths men are getting almost as bad but the facts are is women we have about i don't know 1500 words that need to be said a day for me it might be in half a day i probably need more than that um but uh gossip is business. It's one of the things that says, if you do this, you'll not inherit the kingdom of heaven. So a lot of people think, well, I don't commit adultery. I don't steal. But they forget that there are so many other things that God's word is clearly says. I mean they're jealous you can't I mean jealousy is one of them they're envious that's another one they're gossips I mean those things you will not inherit the kingdom of heaven they need to be addressed they need to be taken care of

they do not need to be in your lifestyle Proverbs 16 28 says a perverse man so strife and a whisper separates the best of friends. Gossip is crazy because what gossip does, and I know this personally, I was the queen of gossip back in the day. I loved gossip. I love the juicier, the better. And I'm not kidding you. That's even, I mean, is bad. I love gossip. I knew that if I heard something and I saw somebody, I was sharing it, even if they didn't know anything about it.

But I will also tell you, it kept me, that gossip, I lost a lot of friends. And it wasn't because I was necessarily gossiping about my friends, I usually usually wasn't like that the gossip separated me from the one that I was gossiping with and that's the truth the way and a whisperer separates the best of friends so what happens is everybody thinks that gossip separates you from the one you're gossiping about no it will do that but gossip will also separate you from the one you're gossiping about. No, it will do that. But gossip will also separate you from the one you're gossiping with. That's a fact. And I have literally hung around friends before and things were about to be said. And I said, I don't want to, I don't want to talk about this because I want to stay friends. I love this relationship that we have. And I know if this conversation continues,

we probably won't be friends over a period of time if we did this repeatedly. So I just nip it. Because I have friends. I have my posse. Everybody has a posse. But I have a lot of people that are outside of that that I love dearly, and I want to remain friends with them too. So I try and not do that.

I mean, do I fail? Yeah. But on the whole, it's not something that I choose to participate in, and I would suggest that you don't either. How you know gossip is gossip is the motive of the heart. What is the reason why you want to say what you want to say and share what you want to share that's just the facts a lot of times it's under the guise of a prayer request um let's pray for this person because or did you know oh this is so sad i feel so bad truth is is you it's it doesn't like you might feel a little bad but for the most part

you're so excited that you're about to share some juicy news that it that it's not really that it's more or less of um wanting to get something off your chest that you know that somebody else will enjoy hearing it's very dangerous we do Churches have huge church splits over gossip, divisiveness. We do not allow it in Foundation Church at all. If we get an inkling that it's happening, we nip it in the bud. If somebody is being divisive and ugly, especially if you serve, if you serve in a ministry at Foundation Church, I don't care if it's from being on the worship team all the way down to ushering or greeting or working in the nursery.

We will remove you from your position. Okay, that is not, gossip is so dangerous. It is such a cancer. And we have seen relationships in our church go split just because people decided to gossip about one another for whatever reason. And not that that caused the church split, but it caused big problems. But when it comes to the church, if somebody wants to speak ill about anybody on staff, anybody in a department, anything like that, we shut it down quick because nothing good comes from it.

And it just grows and it is such a cancer and such a bad seed. And it will grow and that seed will grow and it will grow bitter and bad. And you just got to uproot it and get it out and that's and people will say well that's harsh well my thought process behind that was is well you let it grow how many more lives will they affect that's harsh it's better to just go radical that's why pruning is so important in the word good growth comes from pruning and sometimes you got to prune the bad limb it's not always pleasant that's just the way it goes though um let's see i was going to tell a story um i am going to tell this story because i think it's pretty dang funny some of the people

in this room might know it but so i'm going to give you an example. We had someone in leadership that was a worship leader for us. And he had some fans of his in the church. And I mean, when I say fans, they hated his guts. They were mean. They didn't have kind things to say about him. We handled the situation they ended up leaving um uh i don't know how much longer after that this worship leader ended up going to what was hilarious is he ended up going to one of the people that spoke so badly about him like they were they were horrible that's about talking about this guy he ended up going and worship leading at their church that they left. I sit there and I laugh because God has got a great sense of humor. You dog this guy, and now he ends up being your worship leader all over again.

I think it's precious. God is priceless. He's just, oh my gosh. I will also warn you about Facebook. Facebook is very dangerous. Facebook feeds the gossip. Like I don't go on Facebook very often because I used to be such a huge gossiper. But it's how I protect myself, to be honest with you.

One of the ways is because you're to guard your heart. So Facebook is like if you want to find out about somebody that you don't like, it's really easy to find out about them. And then you feed off whatever is going on in their life, and you sit there and go, well, I know about this, about them, and I know about this and about them. And then you'll see your friend that knows them, and then you'll sit there and go, can you believe they put that on Facebook?

I know their life. Their life's not like that. And then it goes on and on and on. Be careful. Like Facebook can be fun, but for the most part, there's not a lot of good that comes out of it. A lot of people, their lives that they project, it's all a facade. It's not real.

It's either people wanting people to be envious of people's lifestyles or they um or they pretend that the relationship with whomever is better than what it is it's like one photo shoot after another it's just it's just ridiculous so i would say be very very careful about if you don't battle gossip go for it if you do you might want to think about how much time you spend on social media because it's not very very good so i see we're coming down to our last five minutes before we close out and again i say i'm never the most important thing to me is salvation and freeing people from um just living a lesser lifestyle than what God has for them. And what's the point in having a podcast if you don't share the gospel

and then give somebody an opportunity to share an eternity with you? It's really fruitless. There's no point in it, for me at least. I mean, Tom's podcast, he prays for people who are vaccinated. He might need to just do a call for salvation because sometimes after he's done with this podcast I tell you I feel like sometimes people are so stressed out that they might have heart failure after they're done and he might need to win them to the Lord before they see the Lord you know from his podcast but I'll let him deal with how he does his podcast and I'll do them with mine.

So for me, salvation is key. If you don't know him, you need to know him. If you don't have Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you need to have that. You need to have that today. If you want a lifestyle and a life that goes beyond any thing that you could hope or imagine, then you need to give your heart to him today. And it is very, very simple. All you have to do is say,

Lord, I ask you to come into my life. I ask you to be my Lord and Savior. I ask you to forgive me of my sin. And I ask you to like, Lord, I ask you to, how do I want to say this? People say when you say Lord of my life and Lord over me, they think that he's going to be this dominant figure. He's not. He's going to be a loving, kind father that will direct and give you guidance. But you need that guidance and you need that directness. So Father, we just speak over these people that do need you.

And Father, I ask that if there's someone that does need you, Lord, that they would come to you. They would ask for the forgiveness of sin. They would be drawn into you. They would love you. They would live for you, and they would become an example and a disciple of you. And if anyone needs help with this, that's what we have this podcast for.

You can send us a little post, say you want us to pray with you. We will. We will find out how to get a hold of you, and we will help lead you to the Lord. But it's as simple as saying, Lord, forgive me of my sin. Father, I want you to be the Lord of my life and I will live for you forever. It is that simple. And then you just start living it out. You get a good Bible, you start reading the word and you find a great church, strong holiness based church. Get in there, dig in and you you'll be fine i want to tell you one other thing and that is about tithing tithing will set you free a lot of people go i can't afford to tithe well i'm going to tell you what everybody always says which is you can't afford not to tithe

and the reason is is because the word is very very clear that if you give it will be given to you. Press down, shaken together, and running over. I know a man that at this time, he wasn't a believer. And so it was in like 2006, 2008, and he didn't pay tithe anything. He was actually a pretty, he's still actually a really great friend of ours. So he said, you know what, I think I'm going to give this tithing thing a shot even though he really wasn't a believer covenant is covenant the word is the word it's not like you can be lost and it's still going to work for you if you apply it so he went from um having virtually no jobs his business having no work because the crash here was terrible he went from having nothing to he started just giving like a hundred dollars a week

like he said as soon as he gave jobs started coming in he was like what in the world? I can't believe this. The man, to this day, sends in tithe to the church. I don't know what his lifestyle is. I know at one time he did get saved, and he used to come to the church, but he doesn't anymore. But he still pays his tithe because he says, it is a guarantee that work is going to come in and he's going to have the business that he needs. That's just the facts.

So if it works for somebody who's maybe a believer or not a believer, I'm just telling you as a believer, you don't give so that you get. But the word is true. And he said to test him in this. And I would strongly encourage you, if you don't pay your tithe, you're crazy. You are a nut. That's all i can say because i'm telling you right now the reason why i have the life that i have is not because

of anything other than me giving and paying my tithe and trusting in the lord and bottom line that's how it'll be for you so i strongly encourage you it doesn't have to be to foundation church but if you want to sow seed sow it where it's strong and sow it where where you're fed so in my opinion there's only three places you know the three places i'm going to say which is the river church in tampa the revival today church in in pittsburgh and then foundation church test I don't need your money that God's going to provide for us, but I'm just telling you, do it. You can do it to us or you can do it to those other places because I know that you'll get a great return on your seed. But I'm just saying, do it and you'll be happy that you did. And then you can write and you can say, thank God I listened to you. Amen. So thank you so much.

I look forward to seeing you next week and be blessed. Have a great weekend.