The Hope Hotline - The Hope Hotline | S01-E09 | 02-15-23

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

Pastor Tom Laipply joins The Hope Hotline for a special Valentine's Day edition of the show!

Real Talk. Real Talk. Real Talk. Real Talk Alright, Wednesday afternoon and we are live 90 minutes Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope This is mine, this is mine It's all me baby

The love of my life is here with us today I'm so happy you're here. Great to be here, babe. Great to be here. So listen, I have a bunch of questions for you. My very first question is, and this is something that I've talked about on the podcast, that most women have no idea about.

That's one of the reasons you're here. Okay, I'm ready. Tell women exactly how men think. Because we... Hey, listen. I had no clue. I had no clue. How they think about what?

Women. You're going to be shocked. That's very vast. You just... In general? When a man sees a woman, tell her... You want to just hop right into this no there's nothing no warm-up or anything do i ever warm up no i guess not no i never warm up go ahead

lay it on him i thought we'd like go you start on we're gonna go strong okay i'm gonna navigate fast and furious well i think like one of the the well it's one of the things that i actually preach about the most is whenever whenever a woman gets saved i know that the guy is coming and you're some of you might be thinking that that's that's a positive thing like god is sending forth her spouse no i'm not saying that won't eventually happen, but God's not going to do that right after you get saved. I know that the unsaved guy is coming for the girl who's now saved. I know that it's going to happen. Now, does it happen with men too? I'm sure that it does, but it happens every single time with the girl. And what women don't

understand, and this is men understand more that you're never going to be able to missionary date. Men go, men go to hell for lust. Women go to hell for whatever, for whatever reasons they go to hell. But I can tell you how, I can tell you how men think. So what women, what men actually understand that, that women don't is this sort of thing. But I guess the way to frame it would be women don't know what's coming at them. Men usually do. Like men understand the woman that's coming wants to date them. They kind of have an understanding of how that woman thinks to some extent.

Women have no idea how men think. Men think completely differently than women do. Men get that women think differently than men. Women don't get that men think differently than they do. They just don't get it. They honestly think that men look at them as, oh, you know what? She's cute. No.

Every guy in his carnal nature is picturing the woman naked. I'm sorry. That bothers people. It just is the truth. And if you think that a guy is after you, he wants to have a nice little intimate friendship and, you know, and we were cute little, you know, girls who think that guys just want to be their friends. No, they're friending you to get your clothes off. That's how, porn is all for men. Oh, there's so many women that are watching porn.

No, they're not. No, they're not. The only women that are watching porn, I am ending up screaming. And my producer, Aaron, Aaron's so many women that are watching porn. No, they're not. No, they're not. The only women that are watching porn, I am ending up screaming. And my producer, Aaron, Aaron's back here too. He said, oh, the only, the only, the only. I don't scream on my podcast. I know.

I'm chill. Do you want to interject? Heck no, I want you to tell them because seriously, women who dress like in barely any clothes, they are thinking I'm going draw i'm gonna get these guys attention the problem is is you're not getting the right attention or if you wear your cleavage your your shirts down you wear your cleavage you wear your shirt really low so your cleavage shows or like you're wearing things to make sure that your whole figure is you're thinking the guy thinks oh she's pretty she's right you're thinking your women think they are they honestly think that

the man is thinking that they would the way that they would if they saw a man scantily clad or wearing something really nice they're thinking you know woman, if a woman saw a guy wearing hardly any clothes, like some mankini down the beach, the women are going, ooh, no matter how good looking the guy is, are going, ooh, and they're turning away. But there isn't one guy who wants to turn away from the Swedish bikini team running down the beach. Not one guy's wanting to. There are very different ways of thinking. So women actually think that men's tactics are for the same outcome as the woman's desired outcome. The woman's desired outcome is intimacy with a man, a deep abiding friendship.

So you have an unsaved guy, and here's the difference between men and women, the unsaved men and all men know what the vulnerabilities of women are. Women don't necessarily know what the vulnerabilities of men are. This, listen, God is no respecter of persons. God doesn't think of the male sex higher than the, than the female sex. It's just, we all have our different wirings. It's like women are not going to hell because they're looking at porn. Every single woman that's brought into porn is brought into porn by her significant other. There aren't single women out there going on.

Let me, let me watch a bunch of porn. They're not. Men are thinking almost until they are saved. And then even after we were saved, we struggle with this. They are saved, and then even after we are saved, we struggle with this. They're thinking, how can I get that woman's clothes off? Or what does she look like naked?

There is not one woman who looks at a man and goes, hmm, I wonder what he looks like naked. And you're going to bring up some sole exception, I know. But on the whole, that's just the way that it is. So women think completely differently. So they're actually, and the men know they think differently. Only the women don't know. You're like, Tom, come on. I'm just telling you, 25 years worth of law enforcement

overlapped with 13 years of ministry. And now another five, six years after all of that, mass exposure to humanity, mass exposure to watching single women be saved in my church over the last 17 years. I can tell you that women have no idea how men think. Men who are not saved, who are not controlled, you know, those who live according to the sinful nature of their mind set on what that nature desires, men who are in that category are thinking about one thing.

It doesn't mean they're not going to want to have a girlfriend too and go out on dates or anything else. So a woman, when she first gets saved, I'm thinking, when's the guy coming through the room? Because the devil knows the vulnerability of the unsaved unsaved man and that he's perfectly available to be used and he knows the vulnerability of the freshly saved woman and women need to understand that's how men are it might be disgusting to you i say things to my wife sometimes she's like that's you know what we're talking about our own personal life and she goes that's gross. I'm like,

that's men. And the example that I've used inside the church all the time is we've been married. It'll be 27 years coming up December. Every single time that I have the chance of seeing her naked, I'm there. I'm there. I'm like,

I'm going to find my way in there. She, that never happens. Is you never trying to find a way to see me naked. Sorry, man. I mean, that's good, but I'm there. I'm going to find my way in there. That never happens. You're never trying to find a way to see me naked. Sorry, I mean, that's good. But I'm okay. I'm okay.

It's not true. No, it's true. So, I mean, it just is what it is. It's two very different ways of thinking. And for men, like sexual stuff is like food. It is our necessity. There's no option. You know, gator got to eat.

Yeah, I mean, that's just the way it is. I mean, and again, it has nothing to do with women. You know, we are not, as you probably can tell on Hope's podcast that I've pirated and completely taken over. That's what you're here for. Yeah, I mean, we are not transgenderist here. We do not believe that men and women are the same. In the eyes of God, they are equal. They're equal.

All are gifted, all are called, can operate in any gift of the Spirit, men or women. But they do not think the same, and there are strengths and weaknesses in each version of thinking. None of what I just said was a weakness on either part. It's not a weakness, but they think drastically differently. And women need to know that going in,

that this guy, that they're about, that they just got some judgment begins with the house of the Lord. First Peter 4, 17. So when you first get saved or even after you're saved and there's some guy and he's checking all the boxes, he's good looking, he's nice, he's spending money on you, but he's not saved.

Understand what his goal is. His goal is sexual contact. His goal is to see you naked. And that may never be your goal until you're married. If you are dating that guy, and you shouldn't be dating him, out of 2 Corinthians 6.14, and it'd be unequally yoked,

even if you're dating somebody who's not saved, it may never be your goal as a woman to do that. But it is absolutely his. Absolutely. Because with men, sex is like food and then they have got they've got to satisfy that desire that is just the way that is with women it isn't that way it's mixed with other things neither one of them is weak neither one of them is wrong but very different absolutely and and and it's so funny to me because i see these girls dress so provocatively, and they think that guys are, they just think that guys look at them so different.

Or they want to be hot to the guy. But really all the guy wants to do is get your clothes off, get what he can get, and then go on about his day. He does not want the same thing as what you want, which is crazy. So you're a Hallmark watcher. Yes. Mostly Christmas time. Yeah, fervent Hallmark.

Now Lifetime. Lifetime too, right. Switched mainly to Lifetime over this past holiday season. Which they kiss a little bit more in the Lifetime. I'm not really happy about that. That's one of the reasons why Hallmark was decent is because there wasn't a lot of kissing. It was more appropriate.

Yeah. Hallmark's gone mega woke. Mega woke. I mean, everybody has to have a gay relative now. Or friend. I mean, the homosexual community makes up less than 10% of the culture, but 50% of all couples from Hollywood are

now gay in the movies. In the movies. That's what it is. Right. Because it's the propaganda. Now, let me just say this. I am not a Hallmark watcher. No.

You make fun of me while I'm watching them. And comment while I'm watching them. But why is that? You commentate while I'm watching them. Why is that? I don't know why. Because him and my daughter- A character flaw on your part?

No. No. Because he and my daughter are oogling over usually the guy. Yes. Listen, I am very, very, very, I don't know what the word would be. I'm very, yeah, comfortable. In your skin. Well, yeah. I mean, I'm very, what the word would be. I'm very comfortable. In your skin. Well, yeah.

I mean, I'm very, what was that? I don't know. Nobody's thinking of the word that I'm thinking of, but I can't think of it either. But I'm very sure of my heterosexuality. Very sure. However, I have no problem saying, man, that guy is handsome. Like our daughter.

No problem at all. You have a guy that you want Norma to date, but you think he's as good looking as she does. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm like, man, when she's showing me a picture of him, I'm like, man, that guy is handsome. I mean, that guy, I mean, he's handsome.

You know, I, but I like, I like, I like the home. I like Hallmark movies, Lifetime movies. Oh, pretty much only at Christmas. Maybe a little Thanksgiving, but mainly at Christmas. I like them because it's relaxing. It's fun. It's fun to watch. And then, occasionally, there will be some tears.

Yeah, you do cry. That's normally why I'm laughing. It's either because you're oogling over the guy. Right. You're man crushing. Yeah. Or you're crying, which is completely ridiculous yeah okay you know what the end is always going to be no how is that possible there's nuance there's never a nuance

it's always the same nuance no there's not there's a little nuance you can time it out yes and about it's a two-hour movie two-hour high productionproduction, high-quality Hallmark movie with A-list actors and actresses. A-list actors and actresses. No. You're lucky if they're seen. It goes from, you know, they'll end up in some place called, you know, Cookie, Wisconsin or... Holly.

Holly. Holly Town. Holly, Michigan. It's so cheesy. So they'll end up in something like that and it'll go for you know the couple that will end up together they start off of course as adversaries usually coming back to the town one of them coming back to the town that they grew up in and then their old girlfriend will be their boyfriend that they broke up because they felt like they were going separate ways.

So they did. And we wish they had. So you can pretty much time it out that at about one, they get together. And then they're about to kiss. And then somebody interrupts them. That's my point, though. Do you understand? My point is, how can you cry?

But you see, there's nuance. There is no nuance. There's nuance. And one starry Christmas, that's different. That's the only one that's decent. One starry Christmas with the cowboy, it's nuance. There's no nuance. There's nuance. And one starry Christmas, that's different. That's the only one that's decent. One starry Christmas with the cowboy, it's about as good as it gets. Oh, my gosh. If you were in my house, the screaming.

They've watched this movie, like, I don't know, Norma is screaming at the top of her lungs. My son, I mean, my husband is. Okay, Tom, so let me, Vanessa. Yeah. You know Vanessa. Yes. She's married to Jeff.

So this one's for Vanessa and Jeff. A call out to Jeff. Yeah. For Vanessa. You know Vanessa. She's married to Jeff. So this one's for Vanessa and Jeff. A call out to Jeff for Vanessa. She wants to know how can you get her Jeff to watch more Hallmark with her? Listen, it's like prying teeth for me to watch with Tom. I usually make a date night for Norma and Tom so that I don't have to suffer through it. They do. They do a lot. They do date nights on the couch with each other, so I don't have to do it. But what can Vanessa do? I'm playing the role of the wife to try to get their husbands to watch. That's usually your role anyway.

Right. You're usually the girl in the relationship. I am. I'm the one. I'm the one in this relationship that actually has a soul and has feelings. Oh, my gosh. Actually apologizes, you know, things like that. That doesn't always happen on that end. That's not true.

But anyway, it has now. It's gotten better. I'm working on it. It's gotten better. I'm doing much better. It's still like prying teeth. But in all honesty, there's no hope. Oh, that's not good for Vanessa. I know that God is the God of hope. I get it.

In Romans 15, 13. And he's the God of peace. 1 Thessalonians 5, 23. I get it. But in this circumstance, you either are or you are not a Hallmark person, and you will never change if you are not. That is so true.

And I've been watching them for a decade or more with her, and she's never going to change. Jeff is never, you know why it is, it's just they don't get us. Jeff doesn't have a soul either, though. I mean, when you're in sales like you kind of like well they're not gonna know who you're talking about well i'm just saying it's like jeff's personality is very oh my gosh jeff oh please i'm taking over please jeff is a little get some slides ready we're switching to vaccines jeff is sweeter and kinder than me by a lot. But Jeff doesn't give a rip about nothing in life. Like, he doesn't care.

He doesn't care who you are. Nothing. So he is like that to a certain extent. He's an Aaron, a Heather, and a Hope. Jeff is. So Hallmark's never going to appeal to him. There we go. Monthly excess mortality.

Aaron, put that on the screen. There we go. That's what we need to be. Please. That's what we need to be talking about. Tracy, Tracy, take back over. See if you get one of Palestine, Ohio, burning to the ground. Oh, my gosh.

Side by side. Listen, I will say, if you have any questions, oh, my gosh. Now we're talking. Now this is a podcast. Let's get down to some vaccines. Let's talk about Joe Biden. Let's talk about the podcast. Let's get down to some vaccines. Let's talk about Joe Biden. No. Let's talk about the GDP.

Let's get down to some stuff. No. Forget about this Hallmark stuff. No. Let me tell you about the excess mortality. No. So anyway, back to Hallmark. If you are married to a spouse, if it's your husband or if it's your wife and they hate

Hallmark, listen, they're always going to hate it. They're always going to. Blessed are you. blessed are you. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad because great is your reward in heaven for in the same way they persecute the prophets who were before you. Vanessa, they will never understand us.

They don't have that revelatory knowledge. They just don't have it. We don't want it. They don't have it revelatory knowledge and they just don't have it we don't want it they don't have they do not have it you know listen though vanessa you're you're listen you're you're on the uh oh my god that's some good coffee that's water you don't drink coffee listen vanessa you're living a hot the high life because it it doesn't matter that he doesn't watch hallmark with you you're living the high life i mean he's strapped to me you're strapped to him it's pretty darn good he's missing a good thing he's missing out just like you will be fine and so listen if you have a question that you want

to ask uh send it into the comments and we're going to try and get as many as we can it's about vaccines no about covid no no no joe biden palestine wef no he'll answer them he is his podcast is on tuesdays and thursdays at 8 30 to 10 and he eats up every single hour or minute 90 minutes of fury and then saturday nights say it right 90 minutes of fury right 90 minutes of here of yelling you can't even get me to do it in front of people I'm not doing it in private never will I find me ever I'm not past I'm not doing it. I do not high five. So cheesy. Oh my gosh. He does that on the bike. I told you.

I'm not high fiving. High five. I'm riding the bike with you. No, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. High five that you won't high five. I'm not doing it. Okay.

Come on. Get it going I don't want any dead time here Let's go Tom can't stand I plead the fear Okay That's hurting my people's ears Tom doesn't like any

Time where there's no communication going on No dead air Like when he's with Pastor Rodney Doing like any podcasting pastor rodney's just sitting there scrolling and tom's like is somebody gonna say something it's okay to have no one saying anything it's okay i'll be all right next question do you believe in soulmates and if yes how do you know that you guys were soulmates i really don't belong on this podcast. Do you believe in soulmates?

No. Anything that's not in the Bible, I don't believe. Period. If it's not the Bible, I don't believe it. If it was in Matthew 11, verse 23, that there's a soulmate, then I'd believe it. But no, I don't believe in soulmates. I believe you pray your spouse in.

You pray if that's the right spouse. You pray for your spouse to come. You pray your spouse in, not if that's the right. You shouldn't even be dating somebody. I mean, you should. Don't go by the world system and run people through an interview process. I'm not saying date and marry everybody you date. Please take this in a balanced way. Because I know people, and I've known Christians like this that you date to see you want to marry. They marry who they date.

No, I mean, you still have to put people through some sort of process, but you should be praying that person in, not, and not, you know, running through, you know, a long line of people to see if it's the right one or stumble across the right one. And then you pray if it's the right one. Then you pray, is this the one I'm supposed to marry? Yeah, once you are, yeah. But it all should be, from start to finish, God send me the one that you want in your timing. Not, you know, it's him,

it's up to you. There's certain times or seasons, of course, that are in his own authority. Acts chapter 1, verse 7. So, it's not a matter of, Lord, send me one in 2023. It's, Lord, send me your spouse in your timing. Period. That's it.

And then kick back and enjoy your life. And if there are dating options, of course, the only dating option is a sold-out, born-again believer. So in some ways, that would sort of be a soulmate. But I'm saying that a lot of people, when I ask them this question, they come up to me, hey, Pastor Tom, I met this new guy, and he's just great, and he's sweet, and whatever. And I go, well, where is he?

Is he saved? And their first word is well. Well, why would you ever go out on a date? The interview process prior to the date should be, are you saved? Yeah. I mean, period. Are you saved? And then even if they are be, are you saved? Yeah. I mean, period. Are you saved? And then even if they are saved, are you equally yoked?

Of course, you're unequally yoked if the person is not saved. But if the person is saved, but you're not on the same wavelength spiritually, you pray, you do the four essentials, prayer, Bible study, worship, fellowship. They never do. They're barely hanging on. Christianity is more recreational than they show up when they want. You should never date that person because they're very vulnerable to sin and you should not be dating that person. No, I don't believe in soulmates. I

believe that you should. I mean, there are certain, when I was dating, there's certain boxes that had to be checked. The girl had to be hot. Period. If she's not, I mean, hot to me. Okay, I mean, I think Hope's hot to everybody, but I'm just saying that hot to me. The girl has to be hot to me, right? I love you.

That had to happen. And you're like, Tom, was that number one? In all honesty, yes. That was number one in all honesty yes that was number one i mean it should have to she'd have to be attractive to me physically attractive to me you know so that would have that would have to be there and again and there's people who are wanting to be married boy am i i may get you in trouble here no i just may ruin your podcast you're bringing me on it's dangerous to bring me on now i get myself in trouble don't you worry about it like if you if there's people who want to get married but you're 150 pounds overweight forget it i know that sounds horrible but listen i mean

and i'm namely i'm namely speaking about women forget it because the man's again men don't think like they're not looking for an eternal friendship you're gonna have to yes we want that want that but you're gonna have to cross the first line first which is physical attractiveness sorry you don't like it that's that's the bible the lord does not look at the things man looks at man looks at the outward appearance but the lord looks like we're not the lord men are different than women men are visual creatures right you're gonna have you're gonna have what you don't you're gonna have to pass the eye test i'm sorry get yourself in shape mix in a salad stop eating donuts every day you know what i'm saying i mean you're gonna have to do you're gonna have to do that because that's

how men are you might be you you might be somebody a who's like, I don't care what he looks like, which I don't think there are many women like that. But I mean, you may be like that. No men are like that. None. None. You're like, well, I knew this one. This one, you've known thousands of men and you know one

and you're going to advocate for that one's position? But I would say if they knew that one, would they have dated that one? Right. I would say to the girl, if you know that one guy that picked outside of that box i would say would you have picked him because he's probably a girl right so i mean that's the day so back to the original question no i don't believe in soulmates. I do believe that people now also, once the girl gets past that first, the eye test, then I'm looking at how compatible we are. Now, Hope didn't actually do well on our first date. She touched me way too much and she punched me.

She was like, oh my gosh, you see, oh, I'm like, I'm still like that. Well, yeah, I know, but I didn't know you then. And I'm like, does we not like do the touching?

And she was like very, but I wasn't, but you were very forceful. She was like, I wasn't trying to date you. I walked in. We were friends. Well,

I know. Well, not to me. That's how girls think. That's not what I'm thinking. Well, Tom, you,

I did date you and I didn't date you for looks. Hey. I didn't. Oh, yes, you did. You fell in love immediately. No. I dated you because you were funny.

Okay? Not because you were good looking. We're losing viewers. I dated you not because of your looks. We had 80 until I started calling people fat. It was that. We lost four. There's four fat people watching that dropped off.

So girls do date guys based not on looks. I know. I agree. You may find women that will do that. But Hope didn't on our first date. I actually walked away from the date, drove away from our first date, and I was like, literally, I may have even said it out loud. Girl's a little much. That's what I said even said it out loud. Girl's a little much.

That's what I said. I am though. She was a little much. And I was like, but then, you know, we, I was like, but she's nice. She's, she was out of my league. So I was like, Hey, you know what? I'm going to, she's out of my league. So I might as well at least keep her around.

You know, she's willing to go out with me as friends. That's what it said. It was. As friends. keep her around you know she's willing to go out with me as friends as friends and I'm the one who had the first conversation by the way where's this relationship going after 10 10 days it wasn't like that it was not that's how she felt the entire time just like that i literally was like why don't we just go out have some fun and see where it goes and i remember thinking to myself oh my gosh am i in a high school relationship here we were 25 and 24 yeah yeah but then i just was like you know we could we could talk we. We made each other laugh. And then we developed a really good friendship that has to be there.

If you are one of these people that you're saying, well, he's my best friend, but you know he's not, stop playing a con game. The person is either, really is your best friend. Don't fall in love with what you want to fall in love with. in love with the person like make make sure that it's reality that it really that you she or he really is your best friend don't be just like you know that you want them to be your best friend and that's what's cool to say at bible studies yeah i'm dating i'm just so glad i just want to thank the lord that i'm dating my best friend right now.

And you know that's not the case. You're like, Tom, where do you get this from? Human inundation for the last 30 years of my life in pastoral ministry and law enforcement. People are just, they date what they want. They call things. It's actually like a counterfeit of God out of Romans 4.17. The God who gives life to the dead

calls things that are not as though they were. Christians are doing that with people calling things that are not as though they were. If you're fighting all the time while you're dating, I've known many people, many people like this over the years, both before and after being a pastor, that fought all the time while you're dating,

you're not compatible. You are not a soulmate, even though I don't believe in soulmates. Dump the person now. If you're sitting there for three years or however many years, and the girl wants to get married, but you don't,

that's because she's not the one. Dump her, or vice versa. Dump him, dump her now. Don't marry the wrong person. You are better off being alone. I didn't get married until I was 28. We dated for three years, though. On and off.

Yeah, because you kept breaking up with me. I broke up with her a few times. Okay, so here's the thing. So how do you, how do you get the best friend relationship? What does that, what does that, like how do you get to that place?

Because for us, we were best friends, although it was more than that. Like we were best friends. Like we talked every day for long periods of time. I mean, we never did anything but talk. We were pure when we got married.

But how do you end up marrying your best friend? How do you do that? Well, I do think, like. Especially since you're a guy and girls don't know how that works. Initially, like, for me, I had to cross the hurdle because I was like, like on our first date, I was like, she's a little much. I like her, but she's a little much. So I had to give you a chance all right like that yeah not that you were looking for me to give you a chance because we were just friends so yeah and but I had to so

you may have to but it was very marginal effort if you're having to give a lot of effort that's not your friend I'm not saying you can't be acquaintances or have some sort of acquaintance. I'm not saying that this person can't have a friendly relationship with them, but you're either compatible or you're not compatible as friends. I mean, if I use Aaron as an example over here, he and I, if we are in this room by ourselves, can talk for four hours straight. And we have. We're friends.

Now, there's other people that I can't do that with. That doesn't mean that I'm not friends with them, but we're not best friends. We're never going to, you know you know it's it's it really is interpretation of what you mean by friend somebody you're friendly with or somebody you have a deep and abiding friendship with i'm talking in in this context a deep and abiding friendship which you have to have if you're going to marry somebody you have not pretending i mean you're like tom why are you on this? Because Christians are oftentimes are just con artists to themselves.

I'm preaching a series right now about being your own false prophet. They talk themselves, but we're just best friends. No, you're not. You fight all the time. You're not best friends. You're not even comfortable around each other. I've been in rooms where the wife tells her husband

to shut up in front of everybody. And I'm like, how did you two ever get married? Because they never had somebody like me telling them not to get married. I've refused to marry people. I tell people, don't come and ask me to marry you. Because if you do, there's a prereq sheet that you're probably not going to pass. But, you know, how you develop that friendship is that what you asked well if you're dating but then if you're dating how do you know like like you know if you're best

friends like for us we never wanted to go anywhere like you always if you wanted to go to a hockey game you wanted me to go before you wanted all your buddies to go right um if um we if you were going to do anything the person you always wanted to do it with go. If you were going to do anything, the person you always wanted to do it with was me. If you're dating a guy, that that's not the case. Because guys are different. Well, there's balance with that. But that's balance.

Okay, now the balance with that is this, though. I don't know if we wanted the whole show on this, but... No, we're going to hit other topics. Okay, well, I like to get through as many slides as possible. Oh, no, you don't. He doesn't. That's part of the problem here. No, I like to get through as many slides as possible. Oh, no. You don't. He doesn't. That's part of the problem here. No, I mean, there's a balance, okay?

If you are a girl who's like, I want him to spend every last moment with me. That's nice. Okay, now you're needy and unattractive. To me. Maybe there's men. Maybe there is. I'm supposed to go this way. Okay, because I keep on coming off the screen.

There we go. Maybe there's men that like needy women. Mainly just oh this sounds so bad mainly they just use needy women if you know what i mean i'll leave it at that but neediness is very unattractive i am i am sort of uh an exception to the rule i'm not saying i'm exceptional i'm saying i'm an exception to the rule. I'm not saying I'm exceptional. I'm saying I'm an exception to the rule. Yeah, because you're low maintenance. I'm not Mr. I'm not, well, I'm not Mr. night out with the guys guy.

No, that's true. That's true. That's never been my thing. I'm not talking about night out with the guys in a simple way. I'm talking all in Christian culture here. I've never been Mr. men's fellowship, you know, and all guys, you know, retreats and all that.

Because in all actuality, I enjoy the more intimate conversations that I have with women. I don't mean that in a weird sort of sense. I don't mean that. Send your women to Foundation Church so Tom can have intimate conversations. I do not mean that. Okay. What I mean is I actually like to have conversations outside. Hey, who's quarterbacking whatever?

And, you know, what fishing rod are you using this weekend? You know. He could care less. And, like, you know, and although I am a gun owner, I'm not a gun enthusiast. I don't ever go. I shot so many rounds as a law enforcement officer. I'm bored with shooting paper targets. So I don't have any interest in going out to the range i love a good conversation though so it's it's just a balance

if you're a girl who's like you have to you just this is so vast but you just have to be like you have to be comfortable enough to trust the person and and be free enough that if the person defies or breaks that trust, that you're confident enough in your relationship with the Lord that you just move on. Like with Hope and I, I know that if I left today, just took off, but I told her, so she was not out calling the cops looking for me. I said, Hope, off told her but I told her so she's not out calling the cops looking for me I said hope it's over I'm leaving and drive off okay she would want to know why whatever else but she would move on quickly she would she'd move on there's Heather amen and why is Heather over here amening her

because Heather's the same as Hope, just 15 years younger. Okay, same person. They both somehow, they avoided the well of souls that the Lord gives. Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. I'm making up well of souls out of a movie. I'm just saying.

They avoid it and then receive a soul. They don't have emotions. They have feelings. So they would just move on quickly. For Heather, it would just be a list. She always has a list of things to accomplish. Find, move on from Travis. Check one.

Done. Bye. Bye. Whatever it is. Be remarried. Yeah, whatever. It would just be get over Travis, step one. And Hope would move on the same way.

Those are the most attractive people. So you've got to be able to allow him, if he wants to, to hang around with his friends. Or's gonna get sick of you but but the guy if this is marriage material and moving towards that now at the beginning you shouldn't even be thinking of it it should just be basically a dating friendship right as you are moving more so you need to see him prioritize you right for sure prioritize you does he mostly want to to see him prioritize you. Right. For sure. Prioritize you.

Does he mostly want to hang around with you? You know, you just think of it in like statistics. Does he pretty much want to hang around with you 70% of the time, 30% with his friends, 80% with you? Whatever is good. Because it gets worse after you get married. Whatever works in the balance. Because after you get married, you're around each other all the time. But the facts are is if he doesn't want to be around you the majority of the time then that means when you get

married it's gonna even get worse than that because everything escalates after you get married any bad habits become worse now if you're married and you didn't marry the right person and you want that friendship and you want to be best friends with you want your spouse to want to be best friends with you want your spouse to want to be best friends with you now this is very vast because it could be people with like horrible personalities that make it very difficult for the spouse to to want to be best friends with them because they're argumentative or they're negative or they have like they're very critical now if you don't have that relationship with your spouse,

like, biblically speaking, there are things that you can do. But how do you do the carnal with the spiritual to get that best friend? Because there's a lot of relationships that need to be restored. But friendship is the key to that, along with trust. Well, for me, this is a message that I heard. This is all Jonathan Shuttlesworth's material that I'm typing from him right now. And it's a message I just heard him preach. I can't remember whether he was at his home church or he was preaching in D.C.

or maybe the revival before that. But very recently I heard him preach this. And if you want, like if you're in a relationship right now where your husband, let's just say, is an avid outdoorsman and you want his time, well, how do you fix it? Become an avid outdoorsman. A lot of women will do the opposite. We'll be like, he comes in, he's pulling off his camo gear. Why can't you spend more time with me?

You just send him more. He's going outside more now. It's true, though. That's all that you did was send him outside more. If he's an avid outdoorsman, buy him fishing poles and rifles. Actually support him and then go ahead and join in. He's never going to change. That sounds horrible, but everybody needs to stop trying to change people.

God doesn't even change people. He gives them an opportunity to change he allows you to come inside allows allows you to make a decision to allow him on the inside of you to change your your heart of stone into a heart of flesh but that's still your decision and and women think and again you know what and this sounds like i'm attacking what i listen i just told you a minute ago. I actually, when I normally, when I'm hiring people, I hire women like realtors, business people, whatever it is, because women return phone calls and men don't. And men and women are actually more, more committed than men are. You know, it's almost like if you look at police dogs,

you know, there was a canine handler that I knew that he said, I would wish they'd give me a female Malamaw because they don't have to jump out of the truck, fight all the male Malamaws, pee all over everything and look for women. That's what they do. That's, believe me, I have a male Malamaw. He never stops peeing. And that's, but anyway, so, you know, I, I love, I love women. I love the company of women. Hope and I quickly transformed when we were dating into being best friends, but I still hung around with all of my other friends too. But I preferred her the most.

That's what you should be looking for. But if you want to transform, if you're already in a pretty distant marriage because your husband is doing his hobby more than he wants to be with you. Then join the hobby. That's right. Join, become a golfer. I wouldn't have, I hope it's always, I like to be outside.

I like to go walking. I like to go biking. I like a lot of exercise every day. If I don't, I get hyper. So I like to go out and burn all that energy off. Can you imagine more hyper? Yeah. Like, oh my gosh.

Yeah, I mean, look at me. Right now, I really want to preach. But anyway, so I just say, I said to her the other day, you want to go, do you want to go biking? Because she comes biking with me. She goes, well, do you want me to go? I'm like, you know, again, hope is not much of a woman's woman she's more of a guy but on occasion the womanhood slips out slips out you do do you want me to go it's it's the reason why i'm immune to adultery i'm not immune to lust

i am immune to adultery because i can't even maintenance this level of girl, which there isn't a whole lot of girl here. Yes. Physically beautiful girl. I'm just saying she doesn't act like a girl. She doesn't demand much maintenance. I, I could never maintenance another one on the side. I don't have, I don't have the, yeah, that's even more than her because occasionally even hope comes out. Um, do you want me to ride with you? What are you talking about? We ride together all the time.

Why are you asking me that? You know, I'm like, why are you asking? Maybe because she just needs some affirmation. That's why I can't, I can't be, I can't have an adulterous relationship. I can't give another. It took all that I had to be nice then. I don't know. Maybe you were given off a vibe.

Maybe you were given off a vibe. Maybe it's not me. It's you. Do you want me to go? Maybe it was you, not me. No. It's you. It's not me.

It's the opposite of the Costanza principle. It's you. It's not me. But anyway, so just join in. She joins in with me. That's what I like to do. And you're like, isn't that, shouldn't you be trying to. What is your phone wallpaper, your wife or your dog?

Oh my gosh. It's not me. Somebody from the church sent that in. You want me to show it? You guys can see. Yeah. There it is. It's the dog.

It's not just our dog for the, for the, for the truth. That's ours and the Dexter's dog. So this is, wait a minute and the dexter's dog so this is wait a minute this is heather's dog he's a an italian uh mastiff and this is king corso thank you kane corso kane corso um get it right and then this is our dog he's a belgian shepherd right and they're best friends yeah that's right and tom loves both yeah titus and addie adamar yeah well addie addie adamar we all call him maddie but anyway see we're gonna buy wherever you know what we're gonna demonstrate now is how to fight make sure that you fight fairly now let me ask you this

okay i want to know the breakup questions are coming in everybody just oh my gosh okay who asked this question i want to know the breakup story you guys are supposed to send names galena oh galena galena wants to know the breakup story over the sandwich we have differing opinions over this so i'm gonna so we only have 15 minutes I'm gonna tell the breakup story over the sandwich okay you cannot interrupt interject and please don't slurp like he's the he he's just doing that normally if somebody else was making those noises at any other time he'd be giving you the eye so the breakup story is it's it's about a year into the relationship Tom's a little commitment scared big time big tom's a little commitment scared

big time big time commitment scared not commitment scared commitment scared he was big time no rejected okay so i by this time i know that god's already told me he's the one but i could tell like he was acting a little skittish at different times so I was I was wondering like what was going on but so I think was already implanted into his head because he was getting commitment scared um but this comes from his parents had gotten divorced just shy of when we got together so he was really nervous about marriage the whole thing just because of his parents recently divorcing so we go off to a youth convention and we're both youth leaders and it's with all of our friends the pastor and his wife is a whole bunch of us

um go to this so he was felt he was in a safe place because he knew if he dumps me which we ride together there we have a cooler see that at this time i didn't have a job this is lengthy he did so we fill the cooler up with sandwiches and all this and drinks right to save some money that's me so and tom doesn't care about spending money but at the time i didn't have a job so here we go so he rides up with so i but at the time I didn't have a job. So here we go. So he rides up with me. So I already hate the fact that we were bringing a cooler full of sandwiches. Go ahead. He didn't argue it because he was on a diet.

So here's the thing. So we go up there. We drive my car. We're losing viewers for the last five years since you started to talk. We drive my car. This story has to be told. You drive my car up there. We're with all of his friends.

And so what happens is happens is we go in. 89 viewers, 88 viewers. We go in. We go to get food. And I'm like, hey, listen, let's just go in and get our sandwiches because we can save some money. He didn't like the fact that he thought I was telling him that we had to get the sandwiches out of the cooler

because he wanted to eat inside there. So because I mandated, which i did not because i was strongly encouraging that we eat the sandwiches strongly encouraging strongly encouraging which is about the same as safe and effective i was like listen because i felt uncomfortable because i wasn't contributing so there he there he goes rebel news so because of that it ends up he's like you're not gonna tell me what to do no woman's gonna tell me what to do shut up a burning video because that he broke up with me i drove home he didn't talk to me for the rest of the trip i didn't even know we were broken up i mean it was pretty obvious but he didn't talk to me it was rest of the trip. I didn't even know we were broken up. I mean, it was pretty obvious.

But he didn't talk to me. It was very uncomfortable. But it's a good thing. I am soulless to a certain extent because I went off and hung out with my friends and had a somewhat decent time. I was more mad than anything else. Tom, on the other hand, I drove by myself. That's exactly, that's it right there. Now, what we have there is palestine ohio we need to

talk about the he should feel that chloride spill let me let me just happen there what really happened what's going on behind the scenes so do you feel bad about that no no that's not all of that is not what happened so no do you feel bad about that though what about the whole breakup that sandwich i feel bad about well the reason being is? About the whole breakup, that sandwich breakup? I feel bad about, well, the reason being is. He's told me he feels bad about the breakup. I do feel bad about this. First of all, at the time, she had just lost her job or didn't have one? I had moved down here, so I was trying to.

You didn't have a job before. I was going to real estate school, remember? So that's poor. She had no income, so I had the money. So she was living off my dime on this trip that i'd probably convinced her to go on so so we all went up there so what i did feel bad about was cutting her off in the middle of the trip and then making her drive home alone when i drove home with my friends so i think i went on a really long fast. Yeah. So I did and do feel bad about that.

However, the whole thing was her fault. So we're in this, what was it at? Is it Universal? Yes. Is that Universal? I know the exact location. We're in some restaurant and I wanted to eat there. And listen, basically every meal I eat is out.

I don't eat anything from inside the house, unless it's in a bag. That's it. I really don't eat anything. So everything I eat is out. So I was like that then, and I'm like, when I want to eat something, and that stuff looked good to me, I wanted to eat it. And Hope's like, we need to go out to the car and eat our sandwiches. And she sounded just like that.

We need to go out to the car and eat our sandwiches and she sounded just like that we need to go out to the car and eat our sandwiches just like that just identical to that so i know she she wasn't of course to that extent but she was insistent that we go out there and i'm like no i don't want to and so she hope she can say whatever she wants she's no shrinking violet she's not going to just let it go because you say it's not what i want to do then and once And so she hope she can say whatever she wants. She's no shrinking violet. She's not going to just let it go because you say it's not what I want to do. Then once you tell hope it's not what you want to do, then comes the dissertation of why it is what you should do. And the numerous reasons why it is with she doesn't realize it. In my home, there's four people, Four people, a dog, and a cat.

But the four people are like this. Norma and I, my daughter and I, are quiet. You're like, Tom, you yell all the time. Not anywhere else, but in front of a microphone. Super quiet. I'm quiet. Norma's quiet. We talk at normal volumes.

Hope and Tommy, my wife and son, I have to regularly tell them, listen, love you, but I'm two feet from you. Two feet. My son and I, I'm a night owl, so I'm up all night. We go walking. It's two o'clock in the morning. And he's telling me a story about learning a new jujitsu move. And I'm like, dude, you're yelling. It's two o'clock in the morning. People's windows are open because it's cool outside you are loud so she was probably loud all right elevated voice

and i'm like no woman's gonna no woman's gonna have me hog tied and branded so how was that and you know i broke up i broke up with that i broke up with her for for for saying that i wasn't sweet we didn't break up well we did but you showed up in my house oh because we have a red skin game we're gonna go to yeah there's another one so we're driving home and she says she's like i don't know what her deal was, but, or what, what was happening? But she goes, you're not being sweet. And I'm like, and I just like, that's it. It's over.

I'm like, yeah. So I just like, you know, what I do immediately is just ghost them. It's ghosted. Like I'll stop right then. I'm like, I'm even in your presence and you're ghosted. Like, I mean, it's, it's youred. Like, I mean, it's your ghost. So, I mean, it's over. So, but we had Redskin tickets for the following day in Tampa Bay.

This is back when the NFL was good. I think it was Miami. No, no. It was Tampa Bay. It was Tampa Bay. It was in Tampa. And so I'm like, the next day, I'm like, there's no way she's showing up at my house. It's like a noon game.

She has to show up in the morning. And it was like pre-season game so it was like on a Saturday or something we're both Redskins fans we're both from Virginia well well I'm born here but well no but really we grew up and grew up in Virginia so we're both Redskins fans and I'm like there's no way because I mean I've ghosted this girl like it's over like I didn't speak to her done I would have never shown up the next day I don't care it looks like well I already I have a ticket that's right do you have my ticket I'm going so I'm like I can't believe I'm sitting there at my house and I look out the window and she pulls up I'm like you gotta be kidding me and I hated her I'm like get out of my driveway you know I didn't care. I'm like, is she kidding me?

So I even asked her. I'm like, really? She goes, well, we have a game ticket, so I want to go. So I think it was dead silent the entire drive up to Tampa. I didn't care. And I don't think the ice broke. I don't care. Until I think I told her that she would look good in one of those cheerleading uniforms.

I had fun. I don't care. And then we were good. And then we dated for months and months after that until I broke up with her the next time. Yeah. I guess I am soulless because I really didn't care. And then whenever I did break up with her, there was no emotion. She didn't care.

That attracted me to her all the more. I'm very attracted. I actually really love women who hate me, and I really do. I find them fascinating. There's a lot of women that hate me because they think I'm a misogynist because I actually preach the Bible. Wives, submit to your own husbands. Ask to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives. Jesus Christ also loved the church, Ephesians 5, 22 and 25. So women hate me a lot of times, but I find you the most fascinating of all. If I was single,

I'd try to date you because you hate me. But you're so opposite of that. And with Hope, she so much didn't need me, it made me need her. I gotta have her. She doesn't need me at all. This is great.

I gotta have that girl. I'm touching you again. Am I too much? No, I'm used to it now. Okay. I can't help it. I do. Okay.

One last thing. Because parents, for parents, I want to hit some things for parents too. Not just dating. Don't bore people because we're at 100 views now. Woohoo! No, this is important. This is if you have kids. I'm bored right now though.

You're always bored. So get to it to it okay so here's the thing just because you are does not mean other people are okay come on next next no faster aaron faster aaron oh my gosh i love you. You're both fired. You're the best. Okay. Oh. Stop it. Okay. Now, listen. We have a 24-year-old and we have a 22-year-old. Kate, can we play a farting video on your podcast? Nope. I hate that. Okay.

Do not. Thank you. I mean, women don't like that, just so you know. And you have a very big woman audience. Don't do the farting thing. It's so, like, annoying. I'm close. Do not. Okay. audience don't do the farting thing it's so like annoying do not okay so we have a 24 year old and we have a 22 year old our son is 24 i know thank god i'm not good with numbers no i don't wait when they're born nope i surely

don't i don't i don't tom tom the girl. Okay, so here's the thing. We have a son who's 24. We have a daughter who's 22. Neither one of them have dated. Part of that is because we had a rule in our home. You are not allowed to date until you're 18 years old. Correct? So there are plenty of people who want to know how,

but our kids have really never rebelled. In fact, when people would say, aren't you mad that your parents were doing that to you or not allowing you to date and things like that, they were like, aren't you angry about that? And the response would always be no because they love us and they're watching out for me. That's the reason why. Parents want to know, how do you do that how do you like raise kids that love and respect you and endear the idea that you're guarding and protecting them from relationships that they

have no business being involved in and it doesn't matter if we go over a few minutes because i go over a few minutes all the time that are you do too that are there that don't um that don't um haven't crossed any lines, and are waiting for, maybe they'll date a couple people to find the right one, but that are not giving their hearts to so many people. I know how we did it, but you're the priest of the home, so how does a dad do that with their kids? And how, and a wife has to support that, because.

Well, you have to, you have to have credibility in order to minister to somebody you have to have credibility you know just at you know as an example since like aaron's in the room here at various times because without aaron there is no tom so a Aaron runs all my stuff so at various times though I've jumped this case wrongly like yelled at him like come on or you should have this done and I'm always wrong every time because it really is that way when it comes to anything like this Aaron's always right with it he really is so I've had to go to him it gives me credibility for me to go to Aaron and say hey I'm I'm sorry. I was wrong for saying

what I said. That gives me credibility to minister to him, to be his pastor. All right. It gives me credibility. You don't have to be flawless to your kid. And you're like, what does this have to do with day? You have to, in order to speak into somebody's life, you have to have validity. You have to have credibility. So you have to be a good Christian man or woman and husband and wife. So you start off as an individual. Whenever I've blown it with my kids, I go to them and say, I was sorry, or I sinned. If it was sin, like a temper tantrum or whatever, I go to them and apologize. And I become a valid, credible person in their life that they will, there's a high probability that they will listen to me. They haven't seen me run around on my wife.

They haven't seen me be a hypocrite where I'm telling them one thing and living another. If you do that, forget about giving your kids advice. Just don't buy, it's worse. You better just, it's best just to keep your mouth shut because you're actually causing them to run from the gospel. If you're a hypocrite giving them Christian advice. So it has to be coming from a credible source. So your kids actually think this is worth listening to. Otherwise my daughter would be like, yeah, dad, you're, you tell me, you know, you tell me not to date this guy, but every other word coming out of your mouth is the F word. And I see you lusting over women all the time. Okay. That my credibility is over. It's over. It doesn't mean that I was perfect,

but my imperfections were apologized for. So it gives me credibility. Part two. So hope has to do the same thing on her part. Okay. And then part two is we have to be, we have to present a good, solid marriage. Otherwise, why would you listen to our advice about dating? So true. If the goal is to have a great marriage and dating is to get to a great marriage and you're the ones giving advice on how to date to a good marriage, but you have a horrible marriage, are the people that are listening to you about your dating advice, going to listen to you, going to follow your advice? Absolutely not. They won't. So we had to have, we had to have a good marriage also. Well, we're not endlessly fighting. We don't fight in front of them when

we, if we're going, we rarely ever do fight and when we fight it's literally like she says something i say something then we don't talk for a day that's our fight we don't yell and scream or do anything that stuff but we don't do that in front of them we don't pull them into any sorts of our confrontations or arguments or anything like that so it gives us credibility. Here's the other thing. I don't lose battles. That's right. Every other parent does. I do not lose battles. My son is a cage fighter. He's won five straight fights. He does what I tell him to do. Can I beat him up anymore? If I fought my my son i would be conscious for seven seconds if i was lucky and that's if he didn't if that's if he didn't connect immediately that's if i that's if i fell to the ground and got in a fetal position i'd be conscious for seven seconds but he does what i tell him to

do period like today clean out your truck your mom needs it he does it there's no question about it they question her they don't question all the time the thing is, why is that? Because, and I'm taking this from the movie Fugitive with Tommy Lee Jones. I don't bargain. I do not lose battles. My kids don't fake cry. My kids do not talk back. You know, a lot of parents, their kids start to think, oh, they start treating them like they're crying. You might as well wear a mask and act like COVID's real too. That's why a lot of these Christians don masks and treat it a 99.9% survival virus as if it's a 99.9% unsurvivable virus.

Why? Because they're used to pretending. Your kid's fake crying. You know what you say? Do what I did. You want to cry? You're showing interest in crying i can make you cry is that what my kids never fake cried never faked injured nothing it was never put up with they don't smart they never tell me no ever to this day 22 and 24 they don't

tell me no there is no bark back with me ever you're like that's because you were a tyrant ask either one of them if i was a tyrant i wasn't a tyrant i was credible i was credible i was not flawless there's nobody that can blow up a great family day like i can nobody has that talent to ruin a day like me i can ruin a car ride ruin a day out ruin a trip from south South Dakota all the way to Inglewood, Florida. 36 hours. I ruined it. Okay. I love farts.

Sarah Richardson, thank you. I think farts are hilarious. Vanessa, keep going. 90 minutes. Oh my gosh. So I mean, what I did was- Vanessa and Sarah are no longer my friends. But that's what you do.

You have to be credible, and then I don't lose battles. Norma's never told me no, and Tommy told me no once when he was two and a half. I told him, get in the car. He went, no. And I sprung on him like a jaguar out of a tree. Grabbed a hold of him. And this isn't some sort of Christian mom's daycare butt whooping. This is a man's butt whooping.

And I didn't put him up. It's no big formal process of, Now, son, the reason why I'm going to spank you today is because four long and four score years ago, hence this happened. No, I grabbed him under his armpit and started throttling his rear end, and that's the only time he's ever told me no, period. So when you have that sort of credibility

backed up on a lack of hypocrisy and that you never lose a battle, your kids are very highly that shouldn't put very in front of highly are highly likely to listen to you about dating but i will also say with that is um like even though you were a strict disciplinarian and everything um like every time the important yeah oh every time you came home from work you had games that you played with them like they would always run and hide you would always try and find them i mean everybody was excited when you walked in not christian gay games let's

all break out the bible cards no it was it was you know i mean it wasn't like that they aren't you're in your bible points today kids no they were happy to see you when you got home. This was hide and seek, throwing them around, rough and tumble play or whatever. Rough housing. Rough housing. It was nothing like that. It was just, you know. They were excited when you came home.

And just so you know, I'm only as strict as a polarity about things I care about. I'm a very self-centered person. So the thing is, all I cared about was you're not smart-mouthing. Like, the odds of you getting a dinner made when I'm watching you? Never. Never. I didn't care what they ate. Go eat.

Both my kids. Are your kids thin? A lot of you who raise your kids on herbs and seaweed, you're fat. Your kids are giant fat kids now. My kids ate whatever they wanted. They're home with that. No, no, no. When they were with me.

I would say, I'd come home, and I would say, if I was gone for the day, I would say, did they get lunch? Well, they had some snacks. Well, did they get dinner? they weren't really hungry i'm like okay but i ask you this did you eat lunch yes did you fix yourself dinner yes like oh my gosh i hate when aaron's in charge i cannot wait when aaron's not in charge so for me i'm like if you fix yourself meals you definitely could have fixed them a meal instead he let them you know like well fixing

a meal what was that though i don't know but like a sandwich you couldn't fix them it was a dijono pizza that's my meal fixing or a hot pocket whatever you still could have fixed him a meal i'm just saying even though you're chocolate milk aaron stop stop right now there's no farting allowed in our house either if you fart it ain't around me in my house that's true and then by the way that that's something you might be thinking you're man's man you do whatever you want to do. And you're hardcore. And your wife has to be submissive to you. No, I honor my wife. Seriously, I do.

You do. I do honor my wife. I treat her. I compliment her. I treat her like gold. I don't fart around my wife ever. No, it's disgusting. I fart around my son.

And we fart around each other. And I'll fart around everybody else's husbands that are represented in this room. But I'm like, you know, that's that. It's not like, it's not appealing. Let me just tell you. But they're still hilarious in every podcast. No, they're not. They're hilarious.

There it is. See? The girls are laughing at my face. Tom is laughing at Aaron. Okay, Norma says she's laughing at my face Tom is laughing at Aaron okay Norma says she's laughing at the farts I do have to get this one last question this is super important

and I would say but I'm going to spare them Aaron listen I am going to come over there and take that hat off your head I'm going to smack it off this is your mother speaking this is my mother Tom over there and take that hat off your head. I'm gonna smack it off. This is your mother speaking.

This is my mother tongue. Knock it off over there. What you got there? What's on there? What do you got there? I saw a slide that interested me. Okay, this is the last question. Are you gonna play it while I'm,

were you playing that while I did my last question? Okay. Is there anything off limits in the bedroom for married couples? And when you've been together for a long time, it can get boring or monotonous. Can you even focus on this question? Yeah, I got it. Okay. How far is too far when you're trying to spice it up?

Anything anal. Now that was funny. Nobody's in chairs anymore. They're all on the ground except for aaron and tracy i'll just put it through this way first first corinthians six nine and ten sodomites will not inherit the kingdom of god there you go that's off limits and by and so you know, nothing else is. I'll leave it at that. I thought sodomites pertained only to men with men. No, I'm just saying that's what the Bible says.

It doesn't say just men on men. But I mean, that's, you know, for me, I mean, that's where the line is. You know what? I mean, there's things that are biologically approved for entry. And there are things that are biologically approved for entry and there are things that are biologically approved for exits and that's it so things that are biologically approved for exits should not should not be receiving entries you know what i'm saying so you don't think it's funny but it is

so you know what I mean so anyway so I mean I'll just be serious I'm just thinking of somebody who is new to Christianity

that we just run off for all of eternity I'm thinking of somebody that's not what I was going to say I was thinking of somebody who enjoyed anal and now they can't hold their gas in and that's what it sounds like all the time for them

they have no control over their rectum. So they're doing that all the time. You know, you go, literally, people would accuse me of going to the depths of depravity. I do not even go to that level. But all I can think is somebody's butthole. Okay. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

They can't control their gas anymore. That might be a problem in the boudoir. Not being able to control your gas would be a problem for sure. Oh, gosh. Okay. All right, but anyway, listen, here's the thing. How do you spice things up? And I'll just be honest with you.

I am actually 27, 26. Is it 27 we're coming up on? 27. 27. 27 years that we're coming up on. I've lost no interest, none whatsoever, because hope is pliable. She does, you know, the stuff that I want her to do. Normal.

And I do the stuff that she wants to do. Now, here's the thing. It's like it's what you want to do at the moment. It's not like, okay, here's our cardboard cutout for all of eternity. It's what's great right now. And upon request, hope does what's great right now. And it changes. Especially guys.

I mean, I like certain views. I like certain whatever. Get on it. You're married. You walk the aisle. You pledge your life to this person for the rest of the time you're on earth. Get busy.

You know what? Well, it's embarrassing. What's embarrassing? You've already seen each other naked. What could be embarrassing about it? So me, you want to keep things spicy? Don't buy some book. Go upon request

and that's i'm not just talking to women here i'm talking to men and i mean i don't know how dirty down and dirty we want to get on this stuff but you need to be asking your wife what turns you on because chances are if she's just sent that question in there's a problem you know what i'm saying and you need and like you need to be able to discuss hope and i discuss everything we have had hardcore sex talks that were mainly brutal for her in all honesty right not really i mean they weren't no i mean they didn't really hurt your feelings that much but she's like what do you mean i've been doing it wrong for 12 years yeah i appreciate the effort and you're always trying it's true i'm like yeah i mean

i mean the great thing about it yeah the great thing the great thing about it, yeah. The great thing about our marriage is everything is upon request. Like, you know, I've always known from day one over the last 26 and a half years that if I want sex, I can get it. That's it. I don't have to go through. Most of you women out there, you've got a 12-step procedure. That's not the case with the women in this room. Women in this room are great wives but there's a lot of the women that are in this room is Tracy and Heather that are that are married so they have to operate the same way which by the way

they have great marriages because they don't have a 12-step process you know I just don't get turned on unless my husband has an apron on his washing dishes dishes. Okay, what you want as a girl? You're in a lesbian relationship. You know what I'm saying? I mean, that's the thing. So we are just open about everything, you know? You know, not to be gross, but touch here, touch there, don't do this, whatever it may be. You know, I know I'm making you girls, single girls uncomfortable or whatever, but this is what you need to do when you're married. You're going to have these uncomfortable six-week-long sex sabbaticals where you're like, nobody's having sex

because nobody wants to discuss that there's a problem in the bedroom. Well, here's the thing, too. We've never had those problems. We talk about everything. Yeah, but also, if you get married and you were pure when you got married, or if you were promiscuous before you got married,

doesn't mean all those relationships prior to that were good. So a lot of times, unless you're truly intimate with somebody, you don't know what they like. You have to have those conversations, do you know what I'm saying? It's like, especially if you stayed pure before you got married like it's new like it's it's not something you're gonna know so you need to be able to have that conversation

other it's gonna be miserable and what will drive couples apart two things well three things money sex and kids will drive couples apart if you let it like you know you hear me talk about this all the time in church women have kids they lop off all their hair put on 37 pounds and drive a minivan okay that's not what he married i mean i'm men do the same thing get fat and everything else too but you know don't don't let your kids get in the way don't let money get in the way and sex will get in the way because nobody wants to discuss it because it's embarrassing okay but it's really not it's yeah if it's your again marry your best friend it's really not that embarrassing it's not you know i mean it really isn't you know and we just have plus we laugh we've had frank discussions about it and i just

make fun of her it's pretty funny yeah i mean i just make fun of her yeah i mean you're telling me i was doing it wrong for 12 years yeah Yeah, exactly. That's a true story. Wrong for 12 years. He's not lying. That is a true story. That does not. I had to tell her, if you notice that doesn't work, then why are you doing it over and over and over and over and over again?

Doesn't work. Okay? It's the definition of insanity. One day it will. Someday, yeah. Someday I'll keep doing the same thing over and over and over again. It will change. Getting the exact same response.

But someday it's just going to break through. No, it will not. Oh, gosh, that's so funny. That is so dang funny. Lots of effort. A for effort. A for effort. A for willingness. But it doesn't work.

Oh, gosh. I'm really hot right now. We have no air conditioning. The fan's blowing on me. But I am so hot from laughing so hard. All right. I think that's it. Yeah, that's good.

We're losing viewers anyway. 97. Not really. Okay. All righty. I think I cost us 10 when I said touch your church there. Okay. Close it up.

Friday, we're going to have Bia on. She's going to be my guest for Friday, so tune in for that. We pre-recorded that actually truth is all of them are pre-recorded because tom takes up so much time with his that we can't go live aaron and i shoot my podcast her podcast she's gone for the entire day she leaves at nine o'clock in the morning comes home at 10 at night i'm like what are you doing aaron and i i come in it's 20 minutes 15 minutes 15 20 minutes before the podcast. Aaron uploads or downloads. We have fun. Downloads all of our material. We shoot 90 minutes.

We leave. We're out of here. If we want, if we didn't talk, we would on a normal night, we're gone. We could be gone by 10, 15. We're laughing. We're having fun. So Aaron and I are here from 8, 15 to 10, 15 and we're done. Girls just want to have fun. I know. Aaron and I want shots on goal. Climb the mountain. So be back here Friday, 3 to 4. It will not be as long.

We've gone way over. Way over. But that's okay because now people know where to touch. Okay? Touch here, touch there. And that's really all that matters. I hope this helps you guys. He'll be,

he'll be back someday, but I think it might be a year from now because this might be way too much for some people, but I love you. Come back on Friday, three to four and we'll see you on Sunday. Bye. Real talk.

Real talk. Real talk.